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Mark likes to practice his hacking skills on his own network. Namely trying to crack Dustin’s security settings. Dustin isn’t as good as him but he’s creative and he’s generous about it (Dustin doesn’t bother to hide all the gross stuff which makes 2 girls 1 cup seem lame). At the end of it all, Mark usually gets a shitload of plastic bimbos. It’s not bad. Dustin has a thing for role-playing which is cool. (Mark feels faintly uncomfortable about the altar boy and hot priest in the confession box fantasies though. He thinks it’s the awful pronunciation of the Latin prayers that really puts him off.)

There is no point in trying to crack Chris’ laptop. He leaves it open, relying on log-in password as a barrier. Aside from what could be considered a giant stash of electronic bookmarks on all things poetry, social activism manifestos and pictures of baby animals…all the porn is gay porn. Not that Mark has a problem with that but after the giant black guys phase; Chris now has a thing for porn stars named Dustin and Dustin look-a-likes. (Mark thought it was bad the first time he saw ‘Dustin’ getting a facial. He needed to bleach his brain after seeing ‘Dustin’ get fisted.) Mark doesn’t say anything because a guy’s porn is sacrament (okay the convention would be to tease the hell out of him but Chris is a sensitive guy and he’s nice to Mark so Mark leaves him alone). Plus, Dustin knows about it anyway. He likes to brag he’s so much bigger/better. Then he usually makes some obscene gesture that makes Chris blush. Chris and Dustin seem to have a bet going…and going. Personally, Mark is impressed by the collection Chris’ has managed to amass. Mark muses that Chris must have a serious eye for detail and some killer research skills (he files this away for future reference).

The only person Mark hasn’t hacked before is Eduardo. Partially because Eduardo is his best friend (though that means he’ll most probably forgive him) and partially because Eduardo would probably give him his password if he asked (which is no fun). Mark thinks he could probably guess it. But Eduardo knows some computing algorithms even though his main deal is economics. It could be fun. He hasn’t until now because he knows Eduardo gets some real action and it’s not like he actually needs porn. He probably has enough in his mental wank bank for that. Still, Mark is kind of bored, tipsy (since he was bored three hours ago and started drinking while he was not waiting for Eduardo to turn up) and now Eduardo is out. He said he’d be back with the pizza (Eduardo doesn’t like your typical college takeout pizza, he likes to get the gourmet pizzas with the fancy names and no delivery – he pays so Mark doesn’t really mind). It’s about a fifteen minute walk. Mark guesses that he’ll probably buy a nice dessert from the store nearby as well. Calculating the waiting time, he probably has a little under an hour. So what the hell. Time pressure. Even better. Mark loves a challenge.

Mark gets to work.

He carefully slides Eduardo’s laptop from his bag, hoodie sleeves over his hands. It’s a decent thing but Mark estimates it to be around two years old. Eduardo bought Mark a sleek and superfast laptop for his birthday this year. It’s the one Mark secretly lusted after but wasn’t going to justify the spending (he’d been planning to get himself the second best one). Mark wonders idly why he didn’t replace his own while he was at it.

Anyway, he gets in easily. All he has to do is channel his inner Eduardo. It’s actually not too hard (he blames the alcohol and not the fact that he’s had heaps of practice). Most of the stuff isn’t locked. Its assignments, research, timetables. Your usual stuff.

Mark goes through Eduardo’s internet history. It opens with twenty plus tabs. Eduardo had always been a tab whore. He reads The Economist and The New Yorker. He has a shares portfolio open in several tabs. Surprise surprise. Eduardo likes to keep up with Britney Spears on her MySpace. Eduardo open tabs on the Michael Jackson fan club. One of the tabs is his LiveJournal which is also bookmarked according to the little yellow star. Eduardo also Mark grins a little smugly when he realizes that Eduardo totally uses CourseMatch. A closer examination revealed that he apparently he used it for Mark’s class timetable. Well it probably helps their meeting times. Eduardo is a good friend. Sometimes Mark forgets the time when he’s writing something amazing. Eduardo inevitably comes to find him. So that’s his secret superpower – Mark’s program. Mark preens a bit at that.

Eduardo still uses Orkut. Mark knew it. He sighs and secretly makes plans to corner that market at some point. BU first though.

Eduardo has also been looking into ad companies. Mark isn’t sure what he feels about that. He doesn’t think it’s a good idea but Eduardo has always been thorough so he lets it go.

Mark feels bad rifling through his best friend’s email but it’s mainly stuff from the university administration with your usual reminders about submitting forms and keeping the campus clean. Eduardo’s personal stuff is mostly updates from Mark, spam from Dustin, causes to join from Chris and group assignment correspondence. Mark whoops a little when he finds a folder that filters all of Eduardo’s emails from his girls (and the odd girly looking boy). It’s labeled “Interested In” which makes Mark wonder if it’s people he is interested in or if it’s people that are interested in him. It appears to be the latter. Nearly all of it appears to be unsolicited: including a girl which Mark thinks he recognizes from his coding class with an attachment of dodgy I’m-trying-to-look-sexy photos (he makes a mental note to do background checks over Eduardo’s girlfriends in the future in case they are psychologically afflicted and/or have criminal convictions. In a completely platonic gotta-look-out-for-a-bro way. He’s not jealous or anything.) He decides that he will do Eduardo a favor, registering as a phishing scam as well as blocking her and deleting her from his contacts list. Eduardo really is too nice – he adds his stalkers to his contacts list. Even if he does filter them out.

After this, Mark decides to tackle his files. There’s a folder called “Família”. It’s password protected. Mark types in Eduardo’s birthplace. He’s denied. Mark tries Eduardo’s mother’s maiden name. He’s denied again. Mark slowly enters in Eduardo’s father’s name. It works. (Too easy, he thinks. Too bad changing the password would alert Eduardo of his activity even if Mark would be doing him a favor.)

Mark selects the latest album thinking, so this is what Eduardo did on his break in Brazil. Eduardo looks like his father (normally Mark would say ‘Dad’ but Eduardo insists on ‘father’ so that sticks). Figures his father isn’t smiling in the photos. There seems to be a frown permanently etched on his face. Mr Saverin senior looks very stern in the family photos. There are a few in which he’s pointing at the camera disapprovingly, mouth set in a grim scowl. Mrs Saverin has a warm smile. Eduardo definitely has her smile. There are a few heartwarming ones of Mrs Saverin hugging Eduardo, kissing him on the cheek. Mark can’t help but notice there isn’t any of Mr Saverin even remotely touching Eduardo. There’s a clip of the family gathering. Mr Saverin is speaking and even though Mark has no idea what Mr Saverin, he can get the gist. He’s saying Eduardo name and something in a harsh tone. Eduardo ducks his head. His cousin/uncle/relative pats Eduardo’s shoulder before punching him lightly. Eduardo smiles, his eyes flickering to the camera. Mark feels a little guilty about looking at this stuff (it feels more personal than say going through Eduardo’s porn) so he stops.

To make up for what he did, Mark runs a quick diagnosis scan. Eduardo has a fair few Trojans. He must be doing something dodgy to have that happen since Eduardo has a fairly good anti-virus program. Even if those are mostly shit against real viruses. Mark fixes the problem with a few strokes of the keys and strengthens Eduardo’s firewalls. Mark is back on the trail. He searches for the holes in Eduardo’s security. It leads him to HotCollege. Bingo. There isn’t much Mark can do about it if Eduardo keeps going back there. It seems like your ordinary porn site with college girls and guys. Pretty boring. Mark is tempted to rig it so the next time Eduardo visits the site it’ll say “I’m watching you” and switch the webcam on but 1) Eduardo isn’t supposed to find out about this and 2) it’s totally gay even though he knows Eduardo freaking out would be funny and 3) the footage will get sent to him (reason 1 again) and what if Eduardo was naked and…yeah. Definitely no. Even though it’s an awesome prank. No. Maybe he’ll do that to Dustin but Dustin is shameless. He’d probably like it too much.

Mark pulls out the command history to see if Eduardo keeps any of the stuff he looks at (ostensibly to make sure Eduardo isn’t downloading hardcore viruses with his porn but really Mark is kind of curious to see what Eduardo jacks off to. Only to compare them to his actual girlfriends of course. Like as a study. Or to see if Eduardo is secretly kinky. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Not that it’s any of his business either but he might as well go for it.) It’s all kept in one folder. A folder called “Mark”. It’s heavily encrypted.

Haha. Very funny, Mark thinks. Maybe Dustin fucked around with Eduardo’s laptop already. Or maybe, Eduardo suspected he would do this? Is it a Dustin-esque reward for getting there? There’s a folder with his name on it. He’s still trying wrap his head around that. Maybe that’s just where Eduardo backs up his stuff for him. It’s nice of him to lock it. It’s a pretty good lock too. So maybe Eduardo keeps his other stuff in there because it’s convenient.

The folder is calling him. It has his name written all over it. It’s totally asking for it right? Mark starts cracking it. It takes him a while. There are a couple of red herrings. Mark is almost fooled but he knows Eduardo’s style. What he lacks in coding complexity, he more than makes up for in layering his locks like a puzzle. It’s quite a piece of art, almost like it’s made for him. It takes a while for him crack the hidden files but he does because he’s never been beaten. He’s damn good at computers and he knows it and everyone else will. Inside ‘Mark’, there are two folders labeled ‘Real Mark’ and ‘Fantasy Mark’.

What. The. Fuck.

Mark’s interest has exponentially increased. He adjusts himself. Competency is so hot. The laptop is warm in his lap. So ‘Real Mark’ or ‘Fantasy Mark’? Mark has to think whether Eduardo thinks he’s safe now. If he does, then the contents will be as they are. So far everything has been. But just in case, he clicks on ‘Real Mark’. ‘Fantasy Mark’ sounds kinky and there is no way Eduardo would be that obvious right?

He puts the folder on ‘thumbnail’ view. It is exactly what it says on the tin. The folder is full of pictures of him working. There are some short clips. It’s nothing dodgy. Mark knew he was taking them on his camera phone. He just hadn’t thought there would be that many. He can hear Eduardo’s voice narrating, “So this is Mark working on Thefacebook. Day 3 of constructing what we’re probably going to call ‘The Wall’…” Mark looks at a few of the videos. They’re funny. There’s one of Mark drawing a penis on Dustin’s face when he was passed out. There’s another of Dustin showing them some elaborate move which somehow ends up with him accidentally kicking Chris in the balls. Chris drops like a rock with a squeak.

Conscious of the time, Mark copies all of the ‘Real Mark’ files onto his USB stick. Huh. Then Fake Mark must be…he double clicks.

It’s full of pictures of dudes that look like Mark. Except they are naked. Mark suppresses the urge to whip it out to see if his is bigger/smaller. Mark has a random thought that maybe Eduardo has a bet going on with Dustin or that this is some kind of a prank but he has a gut feeling that this is something really private. Mark is curious so he clicks on the video called “Dorm Room Ultimate Fantasy.”

It starts off innocuously enough but like all porn movies, it’s a pretty flimsy plot. ‘Mark’ is a physics student and his roommate is ‘Edward’. ‘Mark’ is a skinny, pasty, bespeckled nerd with brown curly hair. Mark supposes he looks kind of like that. It’s close enough. If he wore glasses. ‘Edward’ is an older guy. Probably a mature age student. He wears suits to class. Fortunately or unfortunately, that’s probably all the similarities Edward and Eduardo share. ‘Edward’ is blond and kind of looks like a Winklevoss. Mark shudders. He thinks he should stop comparing porn and real life so he focuses on the porn for now.

Pornstar!Mark has left a note saying he’s going to the library to study. Apparently he has left his textbook behind so he conveniently walks in on ‘Edward’ touching himself on his bed while fantasizing about him. Blond!Edward starts moaning.


‘Edward’ is really loud. Eduardo had his laptop on full volume. Mark stops the clip and fumbles around for Eduardo’s headphones, feeling his heartbeat race. He fast forwards it (he’s used to watching everything on at least 2x speed and it drives everyone crazy but it really helps for art electives). Basically porn!Mark watches Edward jerk off. Huh. That’s pretty tame. He doesn’t know what to think about that. Does Eduardo want to watch him jerk off? It’s kind of weird but it’s not as weird as it could be. It’s not that gay. It’s college. Maybe Eduardo is just sexually frustrated? Mark turns to the porn for answers. Apparently it’s a series. He speeds through the next part. And the next.

He’s in the middle of part three and he’s definitely hard and wondering whether it’d be sort of wrong to jerk off to it (to be honest he can’t be sure whether it’s because it’s Eduardo’s porn, Eduardo’s porn about him or doing it in Eduardo’s bed – probably a bit of all three that’s getting him hot and bothered). Fake!Mark is getting fucked by Edward and he seems to be really into it. It seems that dorm room sex is wild, complete with bed-thumping, sheet-pulling glory. On screen, Mark is coming undone.

Which, naturally, is when Eduardo opens the door with two pizzas in one hand. He walks in on Mark in his bed viewing his porn about Mark. Mark with his hand down his pants. Mark’s hand seems to have unwittingly traveled southward without his permission. Real!Mark that is. Fake!Mark is too busy getting his brains fucked out. Eduardo drops the pizza boxes with a dull thud.

Mark startles, pushing the laptop away from him and accidentally pulls the headphones out in shock.


Mark swears and slams down lid of the laptop but it doesn’t stop Edward from wailing “OH GOD MARK!” while having a ridiculously loud orgasm. Eduardo must have disabled the function which puts his laptop to sleep. It’s on battery power so can’t pull the plug. Mark fumbles with the headphones that have fallen into his lap (and oh god when did he undo his pants). Finally, he is able to plug it in even if the tinny strains of porn!Mark’s orgasm can be heard. Real!Mark thumbs the volume all the way down. It’s only then Mark dares to look at Eduardo. His best friend. His real life best friend who is staring at him with his pants undone on his bed. Eduardo’s mouth is open. He looks flushed. Mark notices that his lips are more plush than Edward’s. He definitely looks hotter. He wonders what it’d be like to kiss that mouth. Mark clears his throat. He speculates on whether doing his pants up would draw more attention to the fact that they were undone or if he should just leave it and hope Eduardo doesn’t notice.

Eduardo seems to realise that he’s staring. He crouches down to pick up the pizzas. He mumbles something about the boxes being sturdy so their dinner is fine and something about how the dessert place is closed. He puts their food on the table without looking at Mark. Mark tucks himself in carefully and zips up, wincing at the sound. Eduardo pretends not to hear and goes to grab them some beers. He brings the six pack. Maybe we can get drunk and forget about this, he thinks. He’s glad he wore a long coat.

“So. Um.” Mark takes a long swig and thinks about what to say. He’s never really done that with Eduardo. He’s always been able to speak his mind with Wardo. He decides then that now should be no different. “So I should probably apologize for going through your stuff but I guess I just stumbled on your private collection of um Mark porn which makes it sound like you’ve been jacking off to me so that’s kind of awkward.”

Eduardo sighs, his long fingers caressing the bottle. He drains it in one go. He cracks open another can. He’s still avoiding looking at Mark. “I should have known you’d try to crack it.”


“Are you really?” Eduardo asks, leaning against the archway.

Mark thinks about the things he’s found out. About the porn. “Not really,” he says, then more definitely, “No.” After another beat. “Are you mad?”

Eduardo sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “No,” he says in voice that sounds a bit like he’s being strangled. Eduardo kind of has wet dreams about Mark finding his porn. Its part of his ultimate dorm fantasy. Which is just a fantasy. This is real. It’s not sexy. Well, a little. Sure it’s awesome to find the object of his desires almost jacking off in his bed like his Ultimate Dorm Fantasy but whole situation is mortifying. At least Mark doesn’t look completely freaked out (Dustin found out about this a while ago but Eduardo bribed him and made him swear that he wouldn’t tell Mark. Or anyone else. Dustin is going to say “I told you so” if he ever finds out. Which he won’t. Ever.) It could be worse. Mark wouldn’t punch him in the face or anything but him walking out on him would feel that way. Eduardo’s stomach flips anxiously at the thought.

“So…do you find me sexually attractive?” Mark asks calmly.

“Yeah?” Eduardo blinks and answers. “Wait. Did you just-?”

“I said, do you find me sexually attractive?” Mark repeats. “Like sexy. Or let’s be more specific: do you jerk off while-”

Eduardo cuts him off before he can continue. “Mark!” he says sharply but he flushes when he thinks about Mark’s name. Oh god. “I-I can’t believe you just asked me that.” Even though it’s an appropriate question. For once.

“I can’t believe I just found your Mark porn,” Mark deadpans. He doesn’t press Eduardo because he’s gotten the message. And people think he is socially awkward and has problems communicating. He gets the message. He’s just not interested. Fuck you all, he thinks, I just read the signs of my best friend screaming ‘I want to fuck you’ without actually saying the words.

Eduardo laughs nervously. “Yeah I can’t believe you just found that either.” He takes a prolonged sip to disguise his discomfort.

“Did you want me to find it?” Mark finds Eduardo squirming rather interesting. Eduardo is usually so…composed.

“No! Yes. Well not like that. No maybe, I don’t know,” Eduardo says a little sadly. “I didn’t, I don’t want. Things are good with us y’know? I don’t want to screw, um, fuck. I mean. This-” He’s biting his lip. “You’re my friend. I don’t want to make things weird. I’m sorry.”


Mark seems to be thinking out loud rather than asking a question but Eduardo answer him anyway. “I don’t- I never thought about it like. It’s just a fantasy. Well not ‘just’ but it wasn’t meant to be-” He sighs heavily. “I was trying to deal with it,” he says quietly. “I mean I am.”

Mark frowns. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“How could I tell you?” Eduardo says, waving his hands in frustration. “Like ‘oh Mark, here’s the money for Thefacebook and by the way, I’d really like to fuck your brains out too’, how does that sound?”

“I’d say ‘what an interesting idea, we haven’t tried that yet’,” Mark quips. “Though I’d probably ask if it’s just my brains you want.” He gives Eduardo a suggestive look.

“Funny.” Eduardo shifts, trying not to think of pushing Mark down on the bed and fucking his brains out.

“You’re assuming that I don’t want to. That I’m going to reject you,” Mark finishes his drink. “Wardo, you’re my best friend.” He looks at Eduardo in the eye, willing him to understand what he means by that.

Eduardo understands. “But you’re not…gay,” he says lamely.

“Yeah, no. I hadn’t found any guys I’d be interested in. Or be interested in me.” Mark pauses. “Before now. I haven’t really thought about it. I think I could be? It’s more a person thing. Like maybe I’m Eduardo-sexual.” He shrugs but he’s doesn’t look away from Eduardo. “I guess I’ll have to try it out,” he says matter-of-factly like it’s a new piece of code he has to try out.

If it were anyone else, Eduardo might be concerned. But its Mark and if he pays half as much attention to him as he does coding, Eduardo would count himself pretty damn lucky. Plus, once Mark has made up his mind to do something, he never gives up.

“I guess you do,” Eduardo agrees easily, trying not to sound too excited. His dick twitches in his pants. “So what happens now?”

“That’s easy. Do you want to eat the pizza or do you want to pick a fantasy?”

Eduardo’s mouth drops. It occurs to him that they might be going a little fast but they live together and they’ve lived with each other for over a year without killing each other. It feels almost natural to be here.

“Or I guess we could do food and sex if that’s your thing.”

“Sex,” Eduardo answers. Then he blushes. “I mean if you want to. Or if you’re not hungry. If you’re hungry, you can eat. I mean you should eat. That’s what I meant to say. I don’t want you to have to eat cold pizza yeah.”

Mark raises an eyebrow. Huh. He turns Eduardo into a teenage girl with a crush. Mark feels like he’s Lex Luthor and he’s just found the world’s largest stash of kryptonite. The power is a major turn on. But with great power comes great responsibility. “Sex it is.”

Eduardo shuffles awkwardly like he’s torn between wanting to tear Mark’s clothes off and making him feel comfortable.

Mark saves him. “Take your clothes off,” he says, the last word already muffled by his hoodie. “Tell me about your ultimate dorm fantasy.” He smirks, even though his hair is probably sticking up. “Well one of them anyway,” he says lazily. Mark pulls the hem of his t-shirt over his head. Mark’s hands travel slowly to his pants. He undoes them and pushes his pants and underwear down his hips, letting them fall to the ground.

It helps to have something to concentrate on. Eduardo undresses clumsily as he eyes Mark hungrily. His clothes are thrown haphazardly over Mark’s desk chair (not on the floor but he’s not hanging them up carefully like he usually does). He licks his lips. “Um I just, uh, want to w-watch you.”

Mark sits back on Eduardo’s bed before leaning back and lounging leisurely. He’s a little self-conscious because he hasn’t done this before. With anyone really. Sex was usually a frantic drunken fumble. But this is Eduardo. He trusts him completely. Mark puts on his best you-have-my-attention face.

“You’re, uh, lying there, um, touching yourself.” Mark lying there waiting for his instruction is so hot even if Eduardo feels a little stupid saying this stuff out loud.

Mark moves his hands to touch his cock. He’s hard and leaking. He spreads some of the pre-come on his cock so it’s not as dry. Then he starts stroking himself slowly. His beautiful eyes are gazing encouragingly at Eduardo. At least Eduardo thinks its encouragement. It might just be ‘fuck me’. Mark’s obedience and trust makes him feel more confident.

“You close your eyes.”

Mark does. His breathing gets a little heavier.

Eduardo watches Mark’s face as he enjoys the feeling of pleasuring himself.

“Then?” Mark prompts, voice rough.

“Then I’m there,” Eduardo says before positioning himself in front of Mark, straddling him. Mark stares at how close Eduardo is to him. Eduardo’s beautiful eyes, dark with lust. His broad shoulders and slim figure. Eduardo has a treasure trail. He wants to lick it and follow it all the way down. “You still have your eyes closed,” Eduardo reminds him.

Mark closes them a little reluctantly. He can feel’s Eduardo’s breath tickling his face. “I’m going to kiss you” he hears Eduardo say before he feels soft lips on him. Eduardo is doing these little licks at the corner of his mouth and he nips at Mark’s bottom lip. Mark opens his mouth and lets Eduardo’s tongue tangle with his. Mark neglects his cock as he lets his hands roam on Eduardo’s body. He’s touching Eduardo’s waist, his fingers circling a nipple, his back where he can feel the muscles rippling under his hands, then he brings his hands up to the back of his neck and they’re kissing so hard that his lips feel bruised. Somehow Mark has pushed Eduardo down and he’s grinding against him. Eduardo returns his desperation with equal fervor before pulling Mark down beside him, their lips still locked together.

When they break apart for some air, Eduardo says in a low voice. “Then I touch you and you touch me.” He takes Mark’s hand and guides it down so both of them are lined up and they can get a good grip on their erections. Eduardo throws his head back with that first stroke, feeling Mark’s hand and cock rub against his, unable to suppress his moan.

“That feel good?”

“Yeah.” Eduardo doesn’t care that he just sounds needy. He wants more.

It’s a little awkward still since Eduardo is lying on his right hand and he has to use his left but Mark’s dexterous fingers feel wonderful. His grip is firm – not too loose and not too tigh. Guess all that typing was good exercise or something. Mark is rubbing them with the intense concentration he reserves for a particularly interesting coding exercise. His brows are slightly furrowed. He’s swallowing loudly and Eduardo finds that really hot. So is the fact that their dicks are rubbing up against each other. He can hear the sound of flesh against flesh. When he does it himself, it’s kind of gross but right now it’s the sexiest thing he’s ever heard.

“Let me hear you,” Mark says. “Tell me how it feels.” Their legs are tangled together. Mark’s foot is rubbing against his calf unconscious matching the rhythm of his arm. He puts his whole body into sex.

“It’s amazing. You’re, uh, so amazing. It’s like um. Your hand feels really good,” Eduardo starts babbling. “I like it when your hand brushes up against mine, when we’re working on this together. I- yeah. You’re so hot. Like this.”

It doesn’t take long.

“I’m gonna-”

“Yeah,” Mark says. Then he bites lightly on the join between neck and shoulder and blows.

Eduardo comes with a muted groan, shuddering.

Watching Eduardo come undone with his hand around their cocks is the hottest thing Mark has seen. Eduardo is a generous guy so he doesn’t stop there either, even if his rhythm is slightly off. He waits until Mark follows him down, milks him through his orgasm and then collapses back on the bed. He doesn’t have to say anything, it’s pretty clear even through your generic post-orgasmic face that he’s just had his mind blown by a handjob. Sex is going to be impossibly good. (Mark knew they were both overachievers and he’s absolutely right.)

Mark pulls his sticky hand up in front of his face. He smells it, wrinkling his nose, and then he flicks his tongue out experimentally in a tiny kitten lick. He does a series of facial contortions people do when they are really trying to taste something. He’s also smacking his tongue against the roof of his mouth with a contemplative look. Then he licks his hand clean.

When Mark look up, Eduardo’s eyes look like they are going to pop out from his head. “Are you trying to kill me?” Eduardo says, his voice an octave higher than usual.

“The French call their orgasms ‘la petite mort’ which translates to ‘the small death’ so I suppose metaphorically speaking, yes. But if that’s an oblique way of asking me if I’m into necrophilia, the answer is no.”

To anyone, that might be random and sick but it’s Mark. Mark who is in his bed and they just had sex (a hand was on his dick, its sex). Eduardo grins.

Eduardo gets a cloth to clean them up and retrieves the pizza on the way. They’re lying there naked and it’s great. He can surreptitiously check Mark out and think up more fantasies. Which might turn into action so they aren’t just fantasies anymore. It’s more like preparation. For the real thing. Eduardo digs happily into his pizza.

“Hmmm. That was kind of like Dorm Room fantasy one?” Mark clarifies, “Episode one?”

Eduardo almost chokes. He splutters, “Please don’t bring that up again. Ever. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life.”

Mark eyes examine him searchingly.

“Including Dustin finding that,” Eduardo blurts out before burying his face in his hands. He maybe smacks himself with the slice of pizza.

Mark laughs. “Don’t worry. I’ve got your ass covered,” Mark says, wagging his eyebrows.

Eduardo groans. “Kill me now and get it over and done with.”

“That could be arranged. How many small deaths do you think it’ll take?” Mark wonders out loud. “I wonder if there’s an algorithm for it. Maybe you could come up with that. Pun definitely intended if a little cliché.”

Mark might actually kill him with all the innuendo. If he hadn’t come already, he would. Luckily Mark drops the topic in lieu of eating his pizza. He’s licking the tomato sauce off his fingers which is reminiscent of something else more in the realm of-

Eduardo thinks that he’s going to have to take a cold shower after every meal or, you know, drag Mark off somewhere to have his dessert. Hah. How’s that for sexy food euphemisms, he thinks.

Then Mark comments offhandedly, “By the way, I thought episode three was pretty hot.”

“Oh yeah?” Eduardo’s voice is impossibly higher.

Mark laughs, a deep laugh that has his body shaking from the amusement.

“What’s so funny?”


Eduardo covers his mouth with his hand. He takes his hand off and Mark starts with the obnoxious porn soundtrack again so he tickles Mark until he begs him to stops. Actually Mark might have actually tried to knee him in the balls but Eduardo knows Mark plays dirty so he sits on Mark’s legs, keeping him trapped under him and using his longer limbs as an advantage. Mark doesn’t give up until they’re both breathless.

They are a tight fit on his twin bed but rather than feeling cramped, it feels cozy. Mark nudges Eduardo with his elbow. “That sounded kind of pornographic. You just wanted me squirming beneath you begging you and saying your name, right?”

Eduardo blushes and props himself up with one hand. “Not everything is about sex, Mark,” he says softly, his doe eyes aiming a meaningful gaze at his best friend.

Mark responds by edging his hand over to brush his. Eduardo laces their fingers together and holds on.

“I know.” Then with a grin, he adds, “Edward.”

“I am never going to live this down am I?” Eduardo says with a put-upon sigh, lying back down again.

“Nope,” Mark says before climbing on top of him and grinding against his hip.

Eduardo finds that he doesn’t mind at all. Especially not since Mark more than makes it up to him.


Dustin thought he was very smart. He had set up an alert system. For Fake!Mark. Real!Mark was innocuous enough even though it bordered on the Edward Cullen Stalking is Love trope (he figures Mark’s new project is practically a stalker aid so he’s not too concerned – it’s actually something Mark and Eduardo have in common). It took a fair bit of trial and error because at first it the silent alarm was too sensitive. It alerted him whenever Eduardo was accessing the files and even though it helped him not walk in on him ew no, he did not need to know every single time Eduardo was having his Fun Time With Mark. Especially not when he was out with Mark and Eduardo was supposedly studying in their room. Yeah no. But since he’d already hacked Eduardo and maybe added himself as an administrator, Dustin used remote desktop to gain access and subtly adjusted the encryption so it would send alerts that if anyone ever cracked the ‘Mark’ file and then accessed Fake!Mark. Anyone i.e. Mark. Because no one else that could would bother to. Dustin is a genius.

He got the alert a few hours ago. (It was Chris who found the ‘HELP WARDO’ flashing on Dustin’s Blackberry and he became very concerned. Chris made him tell him everything. Dustin figures that Eduardo will have bigger fish to fry. Plus it’s Chris. They’re all dorm mates. It doesn’t count.) As far as he remembers Mark and Eduardo were having a night in while he and Chris were having a night out. Unfortunately, the alert meant that Eduardo didn’t just tell/show him. Mark did something. Still, there were no frantic calls for help and Mark’s LiveJournal did not have any new entries so he thinks they probably worked it out or got totally shit faced. Preferably together. Chris, ever the voice of reason, suggested that he give them a few hours. That they were already out and there’s no point in worrying. That if they needed help, they could leave straight away. Dustin agreed. It would be a huge thing for anyone to handle let alone Mark. They’d have to go home at some point. Dustin has to check. He is worried about his friends. Yeah and okay, he now has three hundred bucks and a bottle of vodka at stake (Chris bet that they would get together during the making of The Facebook, Dustin had said no way because Mark would be too wired in. Dustin bet after the making of The Facebook. He’d been counting on Eduardo to get jealous when Mark started raking in the groupies).

They entered quietly. Their dorm is dark and silent. No clothes strewn everywhere. Nothing toppled over or out of place. Nothing freaky. All clear. Dustin motions over to Chris with the military gestures he learnt from movies. Chris rolls his eyes but follows.

Eduardo and Mark’s room is closed. Dustin cringes and puts his ear to the door. It’s for a good cause. Three hundred bucks and alcohol is a great cause.

“I don’t think they are fucking unless Eduardo gagged Mark. I bet Mark is loud. Actually maybe it’s Eduardo. They say it’s always the quiet ones you have to watch out for.”

“Maybe they’re sleeping,” Chris says dryly.

“Mark? Sleeping this early? Nah. Unless ‘Duardo wore him out.”

“Ha. You are way too excited about our dorm mates having sex.” Chris rolls his eyes again. “We are not waking them up,” he says firmly.

Dustin pouts. “You’re no fun.”

“Don’t be mean, Dustin.” Chris crosses his arms.

“Wait, are you chickening out? Are you scared you’re wrong?”

“No. I’m going to up the stakes. Three hundred, the vodka and I get to spank you if they’re in bed together.”

Dustin ponders on this. “With the paddle? That kind of hurt.”

“Did you want the strap?”

Dustin has no idea how Chris manages to sound hopeful and promising.

“Um no?” Dustin squeaks. That really did hurt. Chris makes it a good kind of hurt but still. He had welts on his ass last time. (Dustin never wants to make Chris really mad.)

“And a fuck,” Chris adds casually. “I’ll make it up to you.”

“But we’re already fucking.” Dustin says confused.

“Yeah and you’re probably betting with my money.”

It’s true. “Alright. You’re on.”

“On the count of three.”

Chris twists the knob and Dustin pushes the door open. (Luckily it doesn’t creak because Mark is fussy like that. The sound of a pen clicking repeatedly when he’s coding will make him chuck the nearest thing at someone’s head.) Chris catches the door before it could bang on the wall.

Eduardo is the big spoon and Mark is the little spoon. Eduardo’s hair is sticking up everywhere. His arm is wrapped loosely around Mark. Mark rolls over and snuffles sleepily into Eduardo’s chest. Eduardo starts snoring. He’s kind of loud. Dustin giggles. Chris is making heart eyes. It’s the cutest thing ever. Dustin makes to dig out his phone to take a picture but Chris stops him. He drags Dustin out by the wrist and closes the door quietly.

When he looks back at Dustin, he has a wicked smile on his face.


Dustin is being obvious. He’s checking out who fucked who but both Eduardo and Mark seem to be walking fine. Huh. Maybe he should ask-

Chris pinches his ass. Hard. Almost right on top of the part he kept whacking. His poor bruised ass. Chris totally has a pain kink and can possibly read his mind.

Dustin bites back most of his howl and settles for a hissed “Owwwwww!”

Chris has his innocent but-I-love-you-and-you-love-me-and-you-know-I’d-never-hurt-you face on. Dustin falls for it every time. Dustin also screams like a little girl. Luckily Chris has quite a collection of gags on hand. (They used Eduardo’s tie once. It was that or his sock. They didn’t return it. Chris figures Eduardo probably doesn’t want it back.)

Eduardo pops his head from the doorway. “Dustin, you alright?” he says with concern.

“Yep. Fine. Just fine. You know, clumsy me.” Dustin has gotten twice as clumsy since getting hooking up with Chris. Chris looks innocent but he’s such a kinky fuck (Dustin totally loves it).

“You should be more careful,” Eduardo says in what Dustin dubs his ‘Mommy’s right here baby’ voice that he uses disturbingly often around Mark. Eduardo’s three steps away from asking Dustin what happened, where does it hurt and if he could kiss it better. Oh god. The images.

“I’m will, thanks, don’t worry about it man,” Dustin stammers quickly.

When they are all seated for breakfast/lunch (Dustin hiding his not!whimper of pain behind a manly cough), Chris is still smirking. “Hey so I scored some vodka. Wanna have fun with that tonight?”