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To Drown

Chapter Text

^Secret-great-song-you-werent-actually-expecting of the day. (don't ask why these became a thing. It just sort of happened when Wattpad kept deleting my stuff. ((not all the songs will be memes i promise)) -I'll probably also add multiples in some chapters because I'm musically everywhere, although the first link will always be what the chapter title was based on.) just an fyi this is a thing i apparently stuck with till the end of the book, so this is the youtube playlist with all the songs for the chapters:



Wade/Peters thoughts


"I'm just saying Peter, this guy is potentially really dangerous."

"And I'm saying that if he is then I should make sure he doesn't do anything, y'know, illegal." Peter fired back in mild annoyance, trying to keep his voice low in case MJ overheard.

"Peter I'm being serious, this guy is bad news, and if he's in New York then you should just leave him alone, or call Mr. Stark or something." Ned insisted again, sounding more distressed this time.

It wasn't like Peter wasn't aware of the dangers of going to talk to Deadpool. He knew the mercenary was crazy and violent from what Ned had been able to dig up about him, but he also wanted to lay out some ground rules if Deadpool was going to be crashing in Peter's city. And no killing was on the very top of that list.

If Deadpool didn't respect that then Peter had already started brainstorming ideas on how to fight against someone with expertise in the katana-style of fighting and regenerative powers.

"If things go south then I promise you I'll call Mr. Stark, but until I meet this guy personally I don't want to cause anybody any inconvenience." Peter said earnestly, knowing Ned wasn't going to cut him any slack with this one. He was turning 18 soon and the last thing he wanted was for Tony to keep calling him 'kid' and not involving him with anything even remotely dangerous.

Deadpool could maybe be one of those stepping stones to the big kids' table if he played his cards right.

"Just promise me you'll call me at least if you get hospitalised or something. This guy is no joke."

Peter stealthily changed the topic to Star Wars as MJ stepped back into the room holding a huge bowl of popcorn.

The three of them were supposed to getting some of their summer homework done, but after discovering that Ned was the only one who hadn't actually done the homework yet, they had pretty much breezed through studying and decided they could afford to take a break and watch a movie for the rest of the 'study session.'

Although, he was having trouble focusing on just watching the movie and enjoying time with his friends when the same thoughts started rushing through his head.

What would he say to the infamous Deadpool?

It wasn't like he could just walk up to the guy and demand he stop killing people. That would probably not work very well. Should he ask politely? Would a person like Deadpool respond to asking nicely? Or would more.. violent actions need to be taken..?

Peter wasn't exactly fond of the whole violent actions part. This guy had been killing people probably before Peter was even born, which- not going to lie- that scared Peter a little bit.

He'd webbed plenty of people who might've killed somebody before, but nobody as experienced as Deadpool probably was.

Ned had pretty much given him a miniature life summary of the "Merc with the Mouth" this morning and he'd mostly just gotten that Deadpool was insane and a murderer, two things that Peter couldn't and hopefully would never have to relate too.

He also knew that this guy had to be in New-York City for a reason, and that reason was most likely to kill someone. Which Peter wasn't ever going to let happen. He was not a fan of murder, no matter how trigger-happy Karen was.

Peter idly wondered if Deadpool and Karen would be friends, with all the instant kill stuff they both seemed to be interested in.

Focus, Peter.

Right. Keeping Deadpool from not killing people while in NYC.

The first plan of attack is to actually find Deadpool. Then, after that, probably introduce himself and figure out what Deadpool is doing in NYC, and if it is to kill somebody then ask him nicely not to-- and if that doesn't work... call Mr. Stark.

When the movie ended and he and Ned left for Ned's place the thoughts still stayed with Peter. First plan of attack: Get Ned to help with finding Deadpool. If there was anyone who could figure out where Deadpool was, it was Ned.

Who of course was not as eager to find Deadpool.


"Peter how many times do I have to tell you this is a horrible idea." Ned exclaimed in exasperation, typing a couple different commands into his laptop as Peter sat expectantly at the end of the bed, fully clad in his Spider-Man suit now.

He honestly just wanted to get this over at this point. After all, he had at least one essay he still hadn't started yet, and he couldn't just do homework while an insane mercenary wanders the streets. That would just be irresponsible.

"Found him."

Peter peeked at the laptop, seeing the details of a shabby looking building on the screen.

"I guess it's the place all the civilised criminals go. Supposedly it's a hotspot for all sorts of bad dudes." Ned said with a rather dubious look. Peter knew they had to be thinking the same thing.

This seemed too easy, too good to be true.

A place where all the baddies hung out? Why hadn't the cops busted the place yet? Was a place run by a bunch of criminals actually functional?

"I can't go there in my suit." Peter said with sudden realisation, knowing that the second he did he'd be immediately shot to bits.

"Well, you certainly aren't going as yourself." Ned said in confusion.

"...Right?" Ned asked slowly, obviously seeing the cogs already turning in Peter's head.

"Oh come on dude, I know that look! You can't just go to some crazy bar as Peter Parker! They probably won't even let you in. And if they do it will just be to kidnap you and sell your organs on the black market or something." Ned said with a disapproving look, Peter acknowledging the fact he had a fair point.

"Yeah but I'm not helpless, I am Spider-Man remember." Peter protested, knowing he'd easily be able to out-manoeuvre a couple of thugs if he had too.

"Peter, I really don't like this." Ned whined, Peter, waving off his concern as he pulled on Ned's large black Kirby hoodie over his suit.

"You aren't seriously going to reveal your secret identity to a freakin killer, are you?" Ned said weakly, his voice going higher with each word.

"No, I'm going to say something like Spider-Man sent me, or maybe something like Mr. Stark sent me. I don't know yet." Peter decided, shimmying his jeans on over the suit.

"I guess that could work." Ned admitted hesitantly.

"Everybody already knows Peter Parker and Spider-Man are friends, I don't see why Spider-Man couldn't ask for Peter's help now and again. It isn't like Deadpool is known for killing random people." Peter said, doubting his own words as he said them.

He knew the dangers if Deadpool ever figured out his secret identity. However, all his life he'd been easily overlooked, so what was the big deal if he was out of costume for just one conversation. He was easily forgettable, he could make this work.

"I can't believe I'm letting you do this." Ned said with a shake of his head.

"I'll be fiiiine. I'm just going to talk. No fighting or anything." Peter persisted, hiding his mask and gloves in his backpack while making sure to keep his web shooters well hidden in the hoodie sleeves, just in case.

"Please don't die." Ned said dejectedly, texting him the address of the shady looking place on the computer screen.

"I'm not going to die, that's so dramatic." Peter said with a small nervous laugh, very much hoping that fact would remain true.

He slung his backpack over his shoulder, giving Ned a thumbs up before jumping out the window.


This was most definitely a bad idea.

If the shady looking guys outside the building had been rather scary, than the guys inside were absolutely terrifying. It was a miracle that the place didn't have one of those weird really buff bouncers or something, but Peter supposed that was more of a club thing that secretly housed mafia members and not a bar thing that secretly housed mercenaries.

Peter supposed that kind of made sense. After all, why would a bunch of super dangerous deadly people need a bouncer anyways?

Focus, Peter!

Right, Deadpool. Find the Deadpool guy and have a civilized chat about murder and the not-benefits of doing it in his-- Spider-Man's city.

He awkwardly made his way towards the actual bar part of the bar, ignoring the people staring at him. Peter didn't think he'd ever been more uncomfortable in his entire life. Well actually-- No, focus, focus, focus.

"Hi." Peter said with what he hoped was a happy smile and not a please-help-me smile.

The bartender stared back at him with a sort of unimpressed and dubious look, which Peter didn't think he deserved as the bartender himself wasn't exactly the biggest and scariest person in here. In fact, Peter was pretty sure this guy would be the least threatening guy in here if it wasn't for Peter himself stealing the spotlight.

"You should probably leave, kid." Came the flat yet sarcastic comment from the guy, who was still just kind of staring at him weirdly.

"Why? Never seen a 15-year-old looking 25-year-old?" Peter piped up, not exactly threatened by the small man and finding it a lot easier to talk to him than anybody else here, not that he'd really tried talking to anyone else.

"Kid, I don't know how you found this hellhole, but I can assure you that nobody will find your body if you don't know what's good for you. Seriously, get out while you still can." The guy said tiredly, pouring shots for the woman next to Peter who already looked like she'd had ten too many.

"I can handle myself just fine thanks. You wouldn't happen to know anybody called Deadpool, would you?" Peter asked hopefully, leaning over the bar a little.

"Deadpool doesn't do charity work. If you want somebody dead then-"

"No! I don't want to er- put out a hit- or whatever you call it. I just want to talk to him." Peter said quickly, regretting every life decision he'd ever made to get to this point in life.

"Okaaay, why do you want to talk to Wade then." The guy said uncertainly, looking like he was trying to gauge just how crazy Peter was by staring at him.

"It's um- private. Top secret." Peter said, keeping an eye out for the black-and-red-clad mercenary. This guy had called Deadpool Wade, so that had to count for something, right? He had to at least know where Deadpool usually goes, right??

"Oh god, don't tell me you're one of those weird drunken flings he does. You are waaay too young to-"

"What?! No! Stop jumping to conclusions! I'm only here because I need to talk to Wade about something important. Life and death important." Peter said, mentally noting that Deadpool was a paedophile as well as an insane murderer. The list just kept growing. Why on earth did he think talking to this guy was a good idea?

"Well, sorry for jumping to conclusions. Not every day some baby-faced kid comes into Hellhouse looking for Wade and then claims it's 'top secret'. Who sent you? The Avengers? S.H.I.E.L.D? That cat lady on 25th?" The guy said with an amount of sarcasm that Peter was actually jealous of.

"Spider-Man sent me." Peter mumbled, looking down at his hands resting on the bar and feeling embarrassed and stupid for thinking he could just waltz in here and immediately talk to Deadpool.

"Spider-Man? What? He didn't have the balls to come here himself?"

"No! He sent me because we're friends and he didn't think Deadpool was a big enough threat to come himself." Peter retorted, knowing he was probably being just a little too defensive about this.

"Who's writing me off as a minor threat?"

Peter had to resist the urge to attach himself to the ceiling as Deadpool himself hopped onto the bar stool next to him. Those katanas looked far more threatening up close.

"Kid says he was sent by Spider-Man to talk to you about some super top secret stuff." The bartender says, not sounding in the least bit like he actually cares about any of this.

"Ooooo Spider-Man? Like as in THE Spidey?" Wade said, turning to Peter with his mask's eyes comically wide.

"Um- yes- he uh-"

"I must say, I'm kind of disappointed I haven't had the chance to ogle that ass in person yet. I mean honestly, you'd think I would've seen the guy by now."

He- Ogl- What? Peter felt himself going red with sheer embarrassment. Why did he put himself in this situation? Why?

Peter was just slightly traumatised.

"I think you broke the kid." The bartender said, not hiding the fact he was still listening in on their conversation while he cleaned shot-glasses.

"How old are you anyway, kid? You look way too young to be in a rowdy place like this with all us big scary adults." Wade snickered, resting one elbow on the bar and letting his chin rest on his hand, mask eyes strangely expressive. Peter wished he had that same expressive quality for his suit. Did Wade have an eye-tracking mechanism for his suit? Some sort of sensor that traced facial expression- Dang it Peter focus!

"I'm 18." Peter said quickly. White lies right? He was almost 18 anyways.

"Really I was thinking you looked more like 13 or maybe 11. What's Spider-Man doing sending a kid to do his work for him." Wade asked tilting his head slightly in a questioning manner.

"Um, well- He was busy- so I offered- Anyway! Spider-Man says that he doesn't want you killing anyone while you're in New York." Peter said, trying not to go bright red in embarrassment again as the bartender gave a low whistle of surprise.

"That's a big demand. And to send a kid to deliver that message to Wade of all people." the bartender said, sounding more invested in the conversation now that there was a possibility Deadpool was going to murder some random kid.

However, he wasn't dead yet, so, maybe he was getting his point across?

"Those are his terms. No killing. At all. Even the really bad ones." Peter said, growing a little more confident now that he hadn't been sliced in half or anything upon first delivering his message.

"Look, baby-boy, I don't know if you know me or not, but the whole 'killing' thing is literally in the name." Wade said, not looking to be brought down from his happy mood.

"Yes, I'm aware of that. But you can't just kill people because they're bad. Spider-Man hates that." Peter said defiantly, holding his ground in this argument. If Wade was such a Spider-Man fan then he would just have to use that against him.

"You're quite the stubborn little bugger aren't you." Wade joked, only serving to set Peter off even more.

"I'm serious Wade. No killing. At. All." Peter said with a pointed look, crossing his arms in what he hoped was an intimidating gesture and not a childish-looking one.

"Hmmm, what if they're a pedo? Can I kill those ones?" Wade said smugly, seeming to only be baited by Peter's defiance.

Peter held back a retort about Wade killing himself if that was his definition of killable people and instead went with a curt "No."

"So what, just tie em up? Leave the kiddie diddlers for the cops in some alleyway? I don't exactly have any convenient webs here, short-stuff." Wade said with what Peter couldn't decipher between genuine confusion or sarcasm.

"You call the cops." Peter ground out, hating the way Wade was making him feel like such a clueless kid. He knew all about the bad sorts of guys he webbed and sent straight to the cops, he knew okay?! But their actions still didn't mean they should be killed. Everyone could change and everyone deserved a second chance.

Even the mugger who killed uncle Ben?

Peter clenched his teeth at the thought, still not fully over that. He didn't think he ever would be. But they still deserved a fair trial. A fair chance to change.

"No. Killing." He stated, making sure to pronounce both words with extra emphasis, although whether it was to get it through Wade's skull or his own, he wasn't quite sure.

"Yeah, yeah. You're starting to sound like a broken record there- What's your name again?" Wade asked, cutting himself off as Peter debated whether or not he should just freely give his name out to a mercenary.

"None of your business." He said haughtily, noting his poor choice of words. Because he reaaaaally hoped Deadpool didn't make it his business. As in the killing business.

"Is that first name Noneof and last name Yourbusiness? That must've been very confusing for your teachers the first day of school." Wade said, completely ignoring the rather hostile tone of voice Peter had used.

"Better than Deadpool." He snapped back, inwardly cursing himself for trying to pick a playground fight with a very well trained mercenary with a very impressive kill count.

"I like you, you're fun." Wade said, booping Peter on the nose- or at least trying to. The hair-raising feeling that Ned had dubbed the 'Spidey-senses' was enough to make Peter quickly lean back, away from the offending finger.

"And speedy! Damn baby-boy you're the whole package." He joked, dropping his hand and letting Peter readjust to sitting normally.

Which did not last long at all, because the next thing Peter knew, he was ducking so fast he barely had time to even process the feeling tingling up his spine-- a beer bottle flying over his head to instead hit the bartender, who was immediately out cold.

"Damn it Jo! You knocked Weasel out!" Wade yelled, Peter shaking just slightly at the terrifying realisation that he'd almost been hit by a beer bottle flying at lightning speeds. This place was going to kill him.

"Um. So it's a school night-" No it wasn't, it was summer break. "-I mean- so I gotta-" Peter stuttered out, quickly standing and keeping an eye on the almost brawl that was going on over by the pool tables.

"Aw! But we were just getting to know each other!" Wade said in mock-disappointment, somehow managing to get across the fact he was pouting without even doing anything.

Seriously, Peter wanted that kind of expressiveness from his own mask. He'd have to see what he could do about that later. I should try making my own prototype suit. Focussssss.

"Well, I'm pretty sure you got the message. So my job is done." Peter said quickly, already competing with the angry yells from the guys currently wrestling on the pool tab- on the floor.

"See you around sweetcheeks!" Was the last thing Peter heard as he escaped the building, praying to whatever deity above would listen that he wouldn't ever see the mercenary again.

Looking back, Peter was pretty sure those deities hated him.

Chapter Text

Peter was having probably the worst birthday of his life, hands down. Aunt May actually had to remind him of his own birthday this morning. He'd been so busy lately, with all the crime fighting, and the supervillains that were 'below The Avenger's paygrade'. And just-

He just didn't think about it. Which was so messed up. He'd been looking forward to his 18th birthday. The whole officially an adult nonsense. But he had just-


So here he was, 11 PM on a Wednesday, with his back against somebody's fire escape, tired and wrung out from fighting in the Summer heat because Karen's A/C had broken a few days ago when he'd been fighting Electro. He vowed that he'd never take it for granted ever again after he got the parts to fix it.

It had been a rough day.

Ned had recently alerted him of MJ's crush on him, and he honestly didn't know if he liked her back, and then that thing with Electro just sort of happened, and he was trying to balance patrols and family and friends, and Ned was always asking to hang out but Peter couldn't because the only spare time he got was already designated patrol time, and Aunt May was getting suspicious because he came home tired, so then he had to act happy and energized all the time- and just everything started piling up and hit him hard.

But when he thought about skipping out on patrol, or thought about skipping another day out with Ned, or rejecting Aunt May's offer to go to the movies, he just couldn't. He wanted to be Peter for them, but he also needed to be Spider-Man for his city.

Maybe at one point New York was the Avenger's city, or Daredevil's city, or Doctor Strange's city, but after the Avengers moved, and villains started rising up to fight Peter himself. That's when he started to feel this was really his city. He needed to always be alert, just in case there was someone out there that was above the police, someone like Electro or Vulture.

Peter's shoulder still stung every time he thought of Vulture, of Toomes, Liz's dad.

Being a superhero wasn't always as fun as people made it sound. Go be like Tony Stark and Steve Rogers, go save the day and have everybody love you. But what they didn't tell you was that you'd get thrown into buildings and wrecked by giant metal talons and electrocuted and shot at and... You get the idea.

Peter didn't really like that part of the job.


Peter exhaled, a long distressed sound as he glanced down to see Deadpool grinning up at him, or at least Peter was pretty sure he was grinning. You couldn't see his smile, but you could hear it in the guy's voice.

Why is he so happy to see me? I'm not that interesting.

"Hey, err Deadpool." Peter said nervously, unsure if he should be scared for his life or not. Deadpool didn't look like he wanted to kill Peter, but maybe that was just wishful thinking or a foggy perception of what was really happening.

To be fair, Peter felt like excursion and sleep deprivation might've been messing with his head lately, that is if the slightly slower reflexes recently were anything to go by.

Talking to someone was like trying to thaw out his own mind from the sort of half-asleep daze he'd been in, get used to using words again, to interaction. How long had he been out here again?

"I still can't believe you know my name." Deadpool swooned, surprising Peter with just how quickly he'd scaled the fire escape of the building and perched himself on the railing of Peter's current fire escape residence.

"To be honest I was a little hurt when I found out you sent a kid to talk to me instead of yourself, I mean really Spidey? A cute kid like that in a place full of crazy killers?"

Was Deadpool actually concerned for his other self?

"Honestly, way to shoot a man when he's down. At least send me somebody LEGAL and not total jailbait." Deadpool said, visibly screwing up his features beneath the mask.


"And you weren't serious, right? 'bout the no killing thing? because that's kinda my thing. Like everybody has a thing, and that's my thing. I mean, it's kind of also Logan's thing- but that's beside the point. The only reason I'm in this city is because I'm hunting a real bad dude. And hunting typically means un-aliving stuff." Deadpool said, staring down at Peter and waiting for some sort of response.

Peter honestly didn't know what to say. And he doubted he would have a response even if he was a bit more awake and less mentally numb everywhere.

Was he just supposed to hold his ground? Fight his cause while knowing that he didn't have any solid ground to actually stand on? Killing is bad, but it wasn't like Deadpool was just going to stop because Spider-man says so.

Not to mention the fact he didn't look like a defenceless kid anymore, Deadpool could fight Spider-man, and Spider-man would have to fight back. Peter didn't want to fight. Not tonight.

"You don't have to kill him, just bring 'm to the police." Peter said with a sigh, just wanting to crawl into his bed and go to sleep. Why did he ever think patrolling tonight was a good idea?

"You don't look too good, baby boy. You doing alright?" Deadpool asked, sounding almost cautious.

Was Peter honestly that bad? That even the insane killer with bad people skills could tell he was depressed?

"I'm fine. And I'd be better if you just dropped this whole killing thing. I don't want you killing anyone in my city." Peter huffed, sitting up a little straighter from his spot leaning against the back railing of the fire escape.

"I could take them out of the city?"

Peter glared, hoping he could convey the amount of complete annoyance he felt for the mercenary at that exact moment.

"Okay fine. I don't kill the guy I'm after. I take him to the cops, then they put him on trial, and then what? He gets away because he has enough cash to get away with it. Do I just let him go and catch him again? Because from experience that doesn't work too well." Deadpool snarked, crossing his arms like a small child who knew they were right, even when they weren't.

But what did you do?

If they could get away then what did you do? What did you do? What was Peter supposed to do?

He slumped lower, feeling the metal dig into his back. He shut his eyes tightly, drawing his knees up a little closer to his chest. Maybe if he just ignored the merc then they'd go away. Maybe Peter could just ignore the world and it would go away.

"Something is definitely wrong with you."

The words were said with such certainty and lack of doubt that Peter felt himself sort of crumbling to the statement.

Who did he think he was? Trying to tell someone else how to go about their superhero business when he didn't even know what he was doing with his own?

"How about you and me go get tacos, and we can talk more about this over some spicy goodness, hm? Whatd'ya say?"

Peter opened his eyes curiously, staring up at the merc, wondering if this was an elaborate kidnap tactic or a genuine offer.

"I don't have any money on me." Peter said, feeling awkward for saying it. But he never brought his wallet with him for obvious reasons, and it wasn't like this suit exactly allowed him spacious pockets.

"No biggie, it's my treat. I got plenty of cash, and you look like you could really use a bite to eat. Honestly Spidey, you shouldn't be starving yourself with all the energy you use up to fight the bad guys. Not good for business if you drop outta the sky." Deadpool said, nudging Peter with his foot.

"I'm not starving myself, I just have a fast metabolism." Peter grumbled, letting out a small sigh before standing up.

"So tacos?" Deadpool asked hopefully, Peter allowing himself just another second of hesitation before mirroring Deadpool's words. "Tacos."


Peter wasn't exactly sure what he was doing.

He knew it was probably pretty odd that he was eating tacos on the roof of a building with Deadpool, and he knew if Ned or Mr. Stark knew about this then they'd probably team up and he'd probably die, but Peter couldn't help but feel a little more enthusiastic about hanging out with the merc.

Anyone who bought Peter food couldn't be too bad, right?

Peter let his legs dangle over the side of the building as he happily ate his taco, fresh from the taco stand that was apparently open all the time. Peter didn't really question Deadpool's knowledge of nighttime taco stands when the merc didn't even live here.

He knew Deadpool was going on about some job he took in Budapest that was full of crazy explosions and crazy ninja assassins, but Peter was only really half listening, commenting on random pieces he found interesting.

It was kind of nice, not being expected to talk or try and carry the conversation. Peter didn't have to say a single thing, but he still could, and he liked that.

There was still the awkward topic of not killing anyone that remained unspoken of for the time being, but Peter was already fairly sure that he wasn't going to get his way with that discussion. Maybe he could hint about it to Mr. Stark or something, or ask Ned for advice later. But for now: tacos.

Peter finished one and reached for another from the bag that Deadpool had gotten, insisting that they would be able to finish all of them, which Peter was starting to doubt.

Peter vaguely noticed that Deadpool had stopped talking, and was also eating, seeming to be waiting for Peter to say something- probably to talk about the unmentioned topic- but Peter was much happier just ignoring it, and after another moment, Deadpool seemed to notice this and just went into another long story about a job.

It was like that for quite some time, with Deadpool never running out of stories to tell Peter, even when Peter ran out of tacos. They still sat on the roof together, Peter starting to contribute more to the conversation.

"-And he just flew out of the sky like 'Oh hey guys, have you been here the whole time?' and then just blew us all up like it was nothing!" Deadpool exclaimed, Peter laughing at how animated the other man could be even with a mask.

"Spidey this is no laughing matter, I had back pain for weeks, weeks I tell you!" Deadpool groaned, making Peter start to laugh all over again.

And then the sun started to rise.

"H-how long have we been..?" Peter asked hesitantly, worried that Aunt May might've gone to check on him last night like she occasionally does and found him missing.

Not to mention Aunt May had arranged a 'surprise' birthday breakfast with MJ and Ned and they were supposed to all be at iHop by 10. Which meant Aunt May would most likely be up earlier than usual. She would most likely be up in an hour or so to wake him up like she usually does.

"Huh, well, there's always breakfast? I know this really good crepe place." Deadpool said happily, baffling Peter with the fact anyone could spend this much time with him and not want to leave at the first opportunity. Not even Peter and Ned could talk this long without finding something to at least 'lightly debate' over.

"I can't- I've got-" He couldn't say school, it was summer break and Deadpool may be insane, but he wasn't stupid, he'd start to get suspicious if Peter said he had school when his civilian self also had school.

"Got-... I-I've got non-super... work." Peter said awkwardly, wondering if Deadpool would even believe that.

"Oh, yeah, of course. I forget you do normal people things too." Deadpool said with wide eyes, making Peter feel weird about the fact he was a civilian in his off time. Did Deadpool have an off time? Was he ever not Deadpool?

Peter decided to not ponder on that too much, taking the no questions asked exit that Deadpool was giving him.

But yet...

Peter was getting ready to swing back in the direction of his apartment building when he paused, glancing over his shoulder at the sort of defeated looking merc.

What if Deadpool thinks nobody wants to hang out with him willingly either, like me?

The voice in the back of Peter's head was just slightly unnerving, and the fact he was having weird and random voice thoughts about the king of crazy was making him just that much more unnerved. But still...

"Deadpool, thanks... For everything last night- and today- and the breakfast offer." Peter said, uncertain if he should leave now or wait for Deadpool's response, however the fact that he was probably going to have to face Aunt May's wrath when he got home if he didn't pretend he'd been sleeping all night won out over the curiosity for what Deadpool would say to him.

Instead, he jumped, shooting a web and swinging back towards home, trying his best to focus on where he was swinging rather than his messy and jumbled thoughts.


"Dude, what is wrong with you today." Ned asked bluntly, watching as Peter once again tried to take a drink from his fork and not his straw.

"I accidentally pulled an all-nighter, I already told you this." Peter mumbled, trying his best to stay quiet as Aunt May and Mrs. Leeds talked. They were at other ends of the table, but MJ was also still in front of them, and as much as he hated to exclude MJ, he also didn't want to catch her attention to this. She was probably eavesdropping and pretending not to anyway, that was just what MJ does.

"I've never known you to 'accidentally' pull an all-nighter. Peter, you can hardly stay awake past 2 on nights where we're actually trying to pull an all-nighter." Ned said sceptically, MJ snorting at the comment. Definitely eavesdropping.

"Well, it was a really long night at the Stark Internship." Peter said, not wanting to exactly broadcast his superhero activity to the people sitting behind their table, even if they didn't know what the 'Stark Internship' really was.

"Long night how? Did something bad happen?" Ned asked quickly, making Peter groan again.

"No, it wasn't a bad long night, it was actually kind of nice. A coworker bought me food." Peter said quietly, hoping that would be clue enough for Ned to know who he was talking about.

It wasn't.

"A coworker? Like... Another intern like yourself coworker or...?" Peter was pretty sure that the secret language they were speaking was escaping both of them now, and it was pretty obvious that MJ was starting to get suspicious of their mess of word vomit.

"No, or yes. Ugh- You remember Wade?" Peter said, sitting up straight in his chair again, giving Ned the 'if-you-don't-get-this-I'm-going-to-be-very-disappointed' look.


MJ was definitely curious and suspicious now.

"Shhhhh! And yeah, he bought me food and we just kind of ended up talking- and then it was morning and I didn't notice-"

"How do you even talk for that long without noticing! And what if the food had been poisoned! Peter that guy is dangerous, like kill your family dangerous!" Ned whisper yelled, the two 'adults' at the table still completely oblivious, while MJ was staring at them with narrowed eyes.

"He was actually really nice, and he didn't force me to eat with him, he asked." Peter mumbled, feeling like he was getting scolded by Aunt May, even if it was only Ned. He really had to stop them from hanging out so much.

"What on earth are you guys talking about?"

Ned and Peter turned to stare at MJ, both boys now realising they were in big trouble.

Usually when they were talking about Peter's 'Stark internship' or 'weird nerd things' then the most she would do was watch them, or maybe sometimes add a snarky comment about things, but if she outright asked a question about something then it was all red flags and alarm bells.

MJ was probably the most observant and perceptive of all three of them, especially when it came to Peter, so if anyone was going to figure out who Peter really was, then it would be MJ. Peter had learned to be less obvious about himself from the whole Toomes incident, but he had no doubt that MJ was at least suspecting something was up.

Ned had tried to convince him to just tell her, but he already felt like enough people knew who he was, and those people who already knew were already in the danger zone, not to mention liabilities to each other. If someone tried to torture Ned for information about Peter or Mr. Stark then Peter had no doubt Ned would break. Peter knew Ned was a loyal friend, but Peter didn't expect him to suffer through torture for him, he'd rather just Ned tell whoever wanted to know what they wanted. But if Ned were to be captured and for some reason revealed Aunt May...

Peter didn't want or need anybody else knowing about Spider-Man, not if it was a danger to them and Peter's family and friends. He didn't need that.


"Hm?" Peter hummed in reply, snapping out of his thoughts to see MJ looking at him expectantly.

"Sorry, I wasn't listening. Can you repeat that?" Peter asked sheepishly, MJ rolling her eyes at him, but he could see that she was trying to hide a smile.

"Is it true that some creepy older guy is hitting on you?" MJ asked, an eyebrow raised.

"What? No. He isn't that creepy, just kind of maybe insane. And he isn't that old either, actually, I don't think he ages?" Peter said, furrowing his eyebrows as he wondered just how old Deadpool really was.

Oh wait.

"-I-I mean he looks so young that it looks like he doesn't age." Peter said quickly, trying to recover from that awkward superhuman friends slip-up. Most people didn't just know people that didn't age. Bad Peter.

"Do you need me and Ned to get rid of him?" She asked calmly, Ned making a sound of surprise about being included in the abrupt going-away party MJ was planning.

"Um no, definitely not. Like, extreme no. " Peter said weakly, wondering if MJ would actually stand a chance against a fully trained and experienced mercenary. It would be an interesting fight, that's for sure, but he doubted she'd win.

"So you like him back then?" MJ asked innocently, Ned laughing as Peter's face turned an odd shade of red.

"Yeaah nooo, that would just be- I don't even know. That would be really weird." Peter said, thinking of Spider-Man and Deadpool being a... thing.

Peter surprisingly liked hanging out with the merc, but he didn't feel anything romantic for the merc. Peter had only ever really crushed on Liz, and everyone already knew how horrible that had turned out. Peter couldn't even think of a universe where he ever felt what he felt for Liz for someone like Deadpool.

Nope, not at all.

Chapter Text

"I'm telling you Ned, they have the best fried ice cream EVER." Peter insisted as they walked, just having left the arcade they both liked.

He'd been meaning take Ned to try ice cream stand for a while now, but he'd just been so busy lately. But now, Electro was gone, the whole Deadpool ordeal was mostly sorted out, and crime had been unusually quiet lately, so Peter finally had the time.

"What about Bon's? I thought you loved Bon's fried ice cream?" Ned asked as Peter just shrugged.

"You'll understand when you try it. It's THE best." Peter said, still slightly giddy from beating Ned's high score at the arcade.

Today was a good day.


When Wade had decided to go get fried ice cream he hadn't had any ulterior motives in mind other than 'hey, food!'

But now, as he watched from the top of the building across from the stand, happily eating the before-mentioned food, he noticed something almost more interesting than his ice cream.

It was the snarky kid who knew Spider-Man somehow (although Wade had suspicions), and he still hadn't gotten around to the casual google search yet, if casual google search meant intense stalking. Although, he still didn't have the kid's name.

(OOooooo we should go talk to him and ask!!)

[Are you stupid? You want to ambush interrogate the kid now of all times?]

(What's wrong with right now?)

[He's with another person.]

Wade glanced at the other kid, noticing him for the first time. More on the heavier side, wearing a weird bug shirt and some dorky hat. They were both definitely nerds.

Even looking at the spunky lean kid from that night, he could easily see that the kid was a total dork. Anyone who wore whatever dorky flannel and sweater thing that kid had going on was a total nerd.

(Baby boy fit af tho)

Wade squinted, surprised to see that Yellow was right. Even with the weird fashion thing the kid had going on, it wasn't hard to see he was a leanly muscled kid, wiry.

[Can we stop calling him a kid. It makes me feel like we're a paedophile.]

(Well it's not like we have the kid's name- WHICH IS WHY WE SHOULD GO TALK TO HIM!!)

"Argh shut up! I'm trying to think!" Wade hissed, wondering if he wanted to really go seek out someone who hadn't exactly seemed that happy to be talking with him last time.

[When do you ever think?]

(Yeah, are you feeling okay?)

[Too much strenuous activity hehe.]

Wade gave up, effectively distracting himself from the voices with a quick jump, catching a fire escape on the way down just because breaking his legs and crawling over to talk to the kid would probably scare him away.

(He's spotted us!)

Wade tried to seem as casual as possible, noting that the kid looked about ready to run for it.

[Did we scare him that bad last time? We didn't even do anything to him!]

(He did look kind of pale when he left last time.)

"Oh my god."

Wade glanced over at the other nerdy kid, completely missing his opportunity for a cheesy pick-up line.

"Wade actually, although I can see why you'd be confused." Wade said happily, unable to get any words other than that before he was suddenly flooded with questions.

"What are you doing here? Why are you following me? Are you stalking me? Spider-Man wouldn't want you to stalk me. And Iron Man is my boss and I can totally call him right now if you ar-"

"WOAH, chill baby boy, I haven't been sent to kill you or anything." Wade joked, unsure as to why the kid would be this paranoid over something as simple as seeing him.

[Well to be fair we are pretty much a beacon of death. I'd be paranoid about seeing us twice too.]

"Shut up."


"Oh sorry, not you." Wade said quickly, glancing at the other nerd and wondering if he'd broken the kid's friend. Was he breathing?

"Peter, I told you that talking to this guy was a bad idea." Dork #2 whined, seeming to clutch his backpack a little tighter. And seriously? It was summer break, did these guys really carry their backpacks around in the summer?

"Peter, huh? You look like a Peter, I should've guessed." Wade said while pretending to frame the mousy haired boy's face with his fingers.

"You still haven't answered my questions." Peter snapped, reminding Wade of an angry puffed up kitten.

[Don't fall for this kid. He might not be jailbait, but he's one of those goody two shoes types. We are NOT messing with this kid.]

(But look how cute he is!!)


"You're so bossy." Wade whined, avoiding the questions just a little while longer.

It wasn't like he knew answers anyways. He came to talk to the kid because... because why? Was 'wanted to' not a good enough reason?

"So a mercenary following me isn't a justifiable reason to be asking questions?" Peter said stubbornly, crossing his arms and levelling Wade with a look that spoke volumes.

"Well, you don't gotta be so butthurt about it. I wasn't even following you, I just like the fried ice cream here." Wade said, pointing to the stand a couple feet away.

"Peter says they have the best in all New York." Dork #2 stated almost to himself, Wade immediately liking the guy.

"Well it's cause it's true, no fried ice cream anywhere better, not in all my travels have I found anywhere better." Wade boasted, thrilled that Peter knew of the stand as well.


[argh no! Shut up!]

"So what's the second place then?" dorky hat boy asked, seeming to have lost any fear he previously had of Wade. Which was odd, seeing as most people who knew of him would immediately run, or plead, or whatever it is they do to try and get out of dying. But these two kids noooooo.

"MMmmmm it probably would have to be this one little local place in Venice." Wade said after a moment of thought, noting the way that Peter looked slightly uncomfortable about the fact Wade was talking to his friend.

"You've been to Venice? Dude that's so cool, Where else have you been? Have you been to Paris? Are the crepes in Paris good? Or the croissants? I've always wondered if the places that originally invent food are better at making it, or if it's just a location thing, y'know? Although I had Chicago deep dish pizza once in Chicago and it was soooo good."

(Is this dork trying to out-talk us?)

[We need to step up our game.]

"I've had their deep dish pizza there before, but I gotta say that I'm not really a pizza person- don't get me wrong! I love pizza! But if it comes to pizza vs. tacos, or pizza vs. thai, then I gotta go with that. Tacos and chimichangas are the ultimate takeout foods. Can't beat 'em." Wade said thoughtfully, already starting to crave some chimichangas.

"Really? I'm more of a Chinese food guy myself-"

"Okay guys this is great and all, but um, I have- I gotta-" Wade glanced over at Peter who was looking antsy, glancing at his friend worriedly.

"It's cool Peter, go be you." Dork #2 said with a roll of his eyes, Wade watching in slight surprise as Peter took off at a jog back the way they came.

"I'm Ned by the way." Ned said, giving Wade a small wave.

That was... odd...


"I can't believe you left me alone with a trained killer just to go help with a car chase." Ned said in disbelief, eating another Dorito as they walked into Peter's room and shut the door behind them.

"Yeah but there was a lot of sirens, and besides, those people needed Spider-Man." Peter weakly argued, knowing very well that he shouldn't have just abandoned Ned like that.

"But I'm sorry I left you alone with him. Nothing bad happened right? He didn't do anything?" Peter added quickly, not knowing what he could even do if Deadpool became an actual issue. Should he tell Mr. Stark? Part of him felt like a total wimp for even thinking of that fix.

"No he was pretty cool, even paid for my ice cream and we had an elaborate debate on the new Star Wars films." Ned said with a shrug, throwing Peter completely off.

"Wait... Really?" Peter asked, trying to figure out if Ned was kidding or not.

"Yeah, I mean he was kind of curious as to why you randomly left at first, but I just told him you had to go do the Stark Internship thing and then he dropped it. He honestly didn't seem like such a bad guy." Ned joked, leaving Peter speechless.

When it came down to it, how much did Peter really know about Deadpool?

But that isn't the problem, it's whether or not I go all out and try to get to know Deadpool. If I try and do that then no doubt I'll be in trouble with Mr. Stark. But maybe he'd see me as more responsible? If I can befriend Deadpool and get him to stop killing people while he's in New York City then maybe he'll finally respect me and treat me like an actual adult for once...

Of course, it could always blow up in Peter's face and Mr. Stark would take the suit again.

Having the suit taken again was a big no-no, but there wasn't a whole lot he could do about that with Mr. Stark being the one who owned it. It wasn't even about the advanced tech the suit offered or how much more fun it was to have then a ratty hoodie. The suit offered a layer of security to being Spider-man that Peter needed.

"Hey Ned, would you possibly be interested in helping me with a project?"

"...What kind of project?" Ned asked cautiously, his hand slowly lowering to rest protectively on his laptop.

"No, not reprogramming stuff. I mean like building our own suit and making it better." Peter said, glancing over to where the suit was currently resting in his backpack.

"You want to make Tony Stark's suit better?" Ned stated in disbelief, blinking at Peter with wide eyes.

"Well, it sounds crazy when you put it like that- but I mean, who can design Spider-Man's suit to fit his needs better than actual Spider-Man, right? And if we build our own suit then Mr. Stark can't take it. It'll be perfect." Peter insisted, already going through his desk for some spare paper.

"I don't know, don't you feel like you might offend him or something, not using the suit he probably spent like, billions of dollars on?" Ned asked curiously, but Peter could already see Ned getting excited at the prospect of building something like this.

They had done science projects together before and had designed some pretty sweet stuff between the two of them. Peter had all the physical stuff down when it came to physics, chemistry and engineering, and Ned came through with his vast knowledge of programming and computers. Although Ned wasn't just all about computers either, he could rival Peter in a few different places when it came to building things.

"Even if I do offend Mr. Stark it will still be worth it. Besides, he had it coming when he took my suit in the first place." Peter said, still not really over that incident. He often wondered what would have happened if he'd had his suit for the fight with Toomes.

Just how much pain and trauma would he have avoided if he'd had some better equipment. As much as he respected Tony and his decisions, he didn't think he'd ever be able to fully accept that one.

"So what exactly are you planning? What could you possibly add to the suit that you don't already have? And where will we be getting money for this? Or materials. Do you think we should put Karen in the new suit?" Ned inquired, making Peter smile at how quickly Ned was with him on this.

"I don't really know about the money yet, but baby steps you know? get a rough outline first." Peter said, finally finding the big sketchbook he kept for projects hiding behind his bed.

"So features? what are we keeping and what are we leaving out?" Ned asked, taking a sheet of paper that Peter handed him.

"I think we should keep Karen apart of the design since she's super, super helpful, although, I don't know what kind of technology that would require to keep her in the design..." Peter trailed off, looking to Ned as the other boy bit his lip in thought.

"It would probably be pretty expensive, with the way she's pretty much embedded in Stark's tech. Especially all the scanners that are in your suit, I mean the scanners alone for a lot of that stuff would be a lot of freakin money we don't have." Ned said in disappointment.

"Well, we don't really need the scanners. I mean, I might fight the occasional crazy villain every now and again, but most the time I'm just helping with minor stuff. The only scanner I wouldn't be able to live without is probably the police scanner, and that's an easy one to incorporate." Peter pointed out, silently mourning the heat-seeking scanner and that cool one that let him hear through walls.

"True, but all of those could be the thing saving you from life or death. Do you really need to make a new suit?" Ned asked, writing down ideas for the new suit on the piece of paper Peter gave him anyways.

"Yeah, even if it is dwarfed by Mr. Stark's suit when it comes to the fancy stuff. I just need something for if Mr. Stark takes the suit again, something better than a hoodie and some goggles." Peter sighed, knowing that even the most minor effort at making this thing a reality was enough for now.

"Why now?"

Peter tilted his head slightly in question, not really knowing what Ned meant by that. Typically, if Peter said 'hey Ned let's build stuff' the why question never popped up.

"You've had a lot of time to think about this, I mean it wasn't exactly yesterday that Tony Stark took your suit, so why do you want to build one now? Why not have proposed this idea earlier?" Ned asked with eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Because I think I want to be friends with Deadpool, and I highly doubt Mr. Stark is going to approve." Peter said with a slight frown.

It was a crazy thing to do, and a dangerous one at that. But Peter didn't do the whole making friends thing that easily, and if he could be completely comfortable with someone after one night of tacos then it was practically destiny for them to be friends. He'd had the same sort of 'we need to be friends' thing happen with Ned and Johnny Storm, it was just like a flashing neon sign, like someone had already scripted their friendship and was just waiting to colour in the panels and add the text.

Kind of like a comic book now that Peter thought about it.


"You want to be friends... with Deadpool..." Ned stated slowly, like he was still trying to process the insanity that had just come out of Peter's mouth.

"Yeah, I mean, he's not that bad of a guy, like you said. And 'sides, if I go and become friends with Deadpool then I could convince him to stop killing people." Peter enthused, a small seed of doubt yelling at him for being so naive.

"Peter there's 'He's a pretty good guy', and then there's 'He's a pretty good guy, for a serial killer.' They are NOT the same thing." Ned said adamantly, Peter realising this was going to be one of those touchy subjects between the two of them.

"Ned, I can handle it. I mean, It's not like I'm being his friend just to get him to stop killing people, I'm doing this because I want to, he's fun to hang out with." Peter said, just as adamant on the subject.

"Peter this isn't one of those things I'll compromise on. This guy is bad, end of story."

"No, not end of story- Ned this guy doesn't have anybody. He has no good influences in his life, he's a lone wolf in the superhero world. He needs somebody to set a good example, and if I've been put in the position to be that influence that I'm not just going to back down."

They both glared at each other for a moment, Peter eventually breaking eye contact guiltily.

"Ned I know you don't want me to go through with this because you're worried for me, and I get that. I know he's dangerous, and I know I would probably die if he even kind of wanted to kill me, but this is just one of those things that I have to do." Peter pleaded, giving Ned his best puppy-dog stare.

"You have such a saviour complex that it isn't even funny anymore." Ned said with a sigh, making Peter internally celebrate his victory.

"Peter you know you don't have to save everyone, right? There is such a thing as letting the police do their job." Ned stated, turning back to his idea paper.

"I know, but the police can't save Deadpool, and if I can be a good influence to him then I'm going to." Peter claimed, flopping down next to Ned and looking over what he'd written down so far.

"I'm more worried about this guy being a bad influence on you. You may be a good person, but you can't just magically change insane serial killers." Ned commented dryly, handing Peter his pen and paper so Peter could go through and add his own ideas to the paper.

"We'll see."

Chapter Text

Peter didn't really see much of Deadpool for a few days, but with the new prototype suit he and Ned were working on it didn't give Peter a lot of time to worry.

Yet, he still worried.

He was worried about whether or not bodies would start popping up, and he was worried about Tony Stark finding out Deadpool was in the city, and he was worried about Deadpool.

Which was currently why Peter was walking down the shady alley that led to Hell House.

This time he was more prepared, with a homemade taser in his hoodie pocket just in case. He wasn't quite sure if bar fights were common there, but if they were then there was only going to be one victor this go 'round.

He wasn't even sure if Wade would be here, considering he hadn't seen the merc the past three days, at all. He wasn't in the news, Ned hadn't stumbled across anything on his nerdy superhero stalker sites, and it was all just deadly quiet. Which if Peter had learned anything in the short time he'd known Deadpool, it was that the merc didn't do quiet.

"Petey! I know I'm hard to resist, but a pretty face like your's really shouldn't be out alone in dark alleys at this hour." Deadpool's chiding voice called out, making Peter look back towards the way he'd come, the man walking towards Peter before finally coming to a stop in front of him.

"I can handle myself thanks." Peter said dryly, wondering why the merc wasn't in the bar and was instead outside. Had he just come back from a job?

"Oh? You shouldn't have to handle yourself, if you catch my drift, eh eh?" Deadpool said suggestively, making Peter's eyebrows furrow in distaste.

"Yeah yeah, why are you here anyway? You don't look like the sort to be hanging out with my sort." Deadpool asked curiously, Peter nervously realising that he didn't exactly have a speech planned out.

"Well uh, Spider-Man was worried about you- because, he thought you maybe started killing people, and so I said I knew where to find you and that I could possibly find you and ask, so now I'm here." Peter said, knowing he'd have to pay for this later as Spider-Man.

"Well that's sweet and all but for Spidey's sake I haven't unalived anybody yet." Deadpool said with a defeated overdramatic sigh.

"Yet?" Peter asked weakly, not sure how to go about arguing if Wade said anything about killing people in the future.

He knew that they hadn't agreed on the killing thing and they hadn't actually talked about it, but so far nobody appeared to be brutally murdered so Peter had just assumed that maybe he'd gotten through to the merc somehow.

"Well you see, the guy I was sent to unalive mysteriously died 'naturally' but I've seen plenty of natural deaths in my days and plenty of murders, and this my friend, was murder." Wade said with a solemn head nod.

"So..?" Peter asked, trying to figure out what this meant. Did this mean Deadpool was planning on leaving? Was he going to find somebody else to kill?

"Well obviously, I had dibs, so now I gotta find this other guy, but I just can't seem to pinpoint him." Wade complained, Peter hearing the pout in Wade's voice.

"How are you so sure it's murder? How did your, er, target die?" Peter asked, eyeing the shady individuals that were walking past them and giving Peter looks that Peter was far from comfortable with.

"Petey his insides were completely liquefied, no organs, nada. Although, the police are trying to keep this quiet for now. The only reason I know is because I broke into the morgue just to see that he was dead myself." Wade said casually, like breaking into the morgue was a completely ordinary thing to do.

But liquefied insides? That had to be a mutant of some sort, right? A new and confused mutant? A possible villain? Or was it more like a gun thing, like with Toomes and the alien tech. He hadn't heard of anyone being liquefied in New York yet, but if the police were covering it up to not cause panic?

"And um, the people guarding the morgue? They're okay?" Peter asked awkwardly, not knowing if it was rude to assume that Deadpool had killed them or not.

"I don't kill people just for fun Petey, or well, I do, but not the good ones. The forensics dudes are fine, one even offered me a doughnut. Really nice guy." Wade said happily, leaving them both in an awkward silence for a few seconds.

Peter knew he had gotten the information he'd been seeking, and logically he should probably go home and sleep now, but he didn't really want to.

"So his organs were liquefied. As in blood?" Peter asked instead, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets, holding his head a little higher.

If there was another possible villain in his city than he should know and be prepared. It was his job to take care of the other mutants in this city, and if the police couldn't take on this threat then it defaulted to Peter.

"Nah, not blood, water. He drowned to death. Not just normal water either, but saltwater." Wade said, examining a spot on his sleeve where the stitching was starting to frazzle.


"And you think this was a murder?" Peter questioned, not entirely sure what to think of the situation at this point. It had to be a mutant, but a mutant with the ability to drown people with their own insides? Could you drown without lungs?

"Yeah, definitely murder. Although, exactly how they were murdered I'm still somewhat unsure on. As well as why, because while my target was a bad guy, he was a heavily guarded bad guy, and from the sounds of it the guards just found him dead in his hotel room. And I already checked the cameras and there's nobody on those that look suspicious, so whoever this guy is they're skilled." Wade replied, giving Peter a curious look.

"Look, as much as I respect you going freestyle Nancy Drew here, I can't have you messing with this, m'kay?" The tone was playful, but the way they were stated so evenly had Peter on guard again.

"Why? You care about my wellbeing all of a sudden?" Peter snorted, challenging the merc with his eyes.

If Deadpool was going to treat him like a kid just like everybody else than it was just going to make him more eager to solve this weird drowning case quicker than Deadpool and prove him wrong.

"Touchy touchy. But as cute as you are, no, I need you to not meddle with this so that I can meddle with this. I don't want the water guy to get suspicious and jump town, because that would just be an extra hassle that I really don't need." Wade said in a way that calmed Peter slightly and yet also had him on the defensive.

"I bet I could find him faster than you could." Peter challenged, knowing that Ned would probably be able to get into the drowned man's cellphone, possibly recover audio files and give Peter a lead.

Although crap, who was Deadpool's target?

"Nice try baby boy, but I'm a real classy mercenary with years of experience, pretty sure I could take ya." Wade shrugged, Peter idly noticing that the mercenary was starting to fidget.

"What was your target's name?" Peter questioned, crossing his fingers in his pockets.

"Ah ah ah, I already gave you all the information you need to go gossip with Spidey." Wade chided, waving a finger in front of Peter's face, Peter managing to suppress the urge to bite it, he wasn't a dog and it would only encourage the sexual innuendos.

Now what.

"So are you good now? Did you get all your investigative urges out yet?" Wade commented dryly, starting to slip towards the entrance of the bar slowly.

"Yeah." Peter said in disappointment, watching as the merc happily skipped towards Hell House, leaving Peter in the alleyway.

Part of Peter was sort of depressed that Wade didn't really care about leaving him in an alleyway, but the other half of him was at least appreciative of being trusted to handle himself.

But he still didn't want to go home.

He felt so far from sleep, and he'd already gone on patrol tonight, so now what? Go on patrol again? Go look for the water dude? Call Ned? Although, Ned was probably already asleep, and it wasn't like he could call Tony considering he'd probably just say the 'police were handling it'. Because obviously, the police could handle something that even Deadpool was having trouble finding.

Peter stared at where Deadpool had disappeared into the building, debating the pros and cons of following.

They had pool tables last time Peter was there.

Peter was good at pool.

After suppressing the feeling of absolute panic over the possibly dangerous situation, Peter jogged towards the door, slipping into the noisy building.


"You've created a monster."

"Hey! I'm not a fan of this either!" Wade protested, watching Peter like a hawk from where he sat at the bar.

Without warning the kid had just stumbled into the building, not even sparing Wade a word as he walked towards the pool tables and asked for the next game.

It had not only rendered Weasel speechless for the first ten minutes, but it also had Wade on edge.

If anything happened to Peter then it would be his fault, and Wade wasn't about to let anything happen to Spidey's pet.

Although, Wade was starting to wonder if the kid even needed supervision. He'd already managed to score himself $250 despite insisting that he wasn't playing for cash, 'just for the challenge.'

At first, Wade had simply scoffed and made sure to keep a careful eye on the kid in case anyone decided to make moves on him or try and get into a fight with him, but he carried himself perfectly fine once he'd sort of grown used to the atmosphere.

Which was terrifying.

He didn't need Peter becoming a regular here, especially if the kid started dropping by while Wade wasn't here. There was only so much control that Weasel had, and if something happened to Peter...

[You are so whipped.]

(Seriously, I'm surprised you haven't proposed to him yet.)

We love Spidey, not Petey, shut the #$%! up.

[Hehe you can't curse.]

Why can't I curse?

(The author is one of those wholesome people that doesn't curse, which limits our vocabulary. Sucks major dragon balls.)

How can you have a Deadpool fic without cursing?

[You forget this is a Spideypool fic. Lots of Spider-man souls out there.]


(Red alert, red alert, Petey sighted!)

Wade refocused on the pool tables, blinking when he realised Peter was no longer there.

"Do you have non-alcoholic beverages?"

"I've got coke and sprite."

Wade turned to see Peter sitting next to him at the bar, a smile on his face like he was actually happy to be here. Nobody was ever happy to be here.

"I'll have a sprite please."

[Ohhhhh and he's got manners.]

(I thought we wanted Spidey? Or are we switching sides again?)

[Nooo, yesss? I don't know...]

"You guys are making me feel like I'm the only child caught in a custody war, just forking pick one already." Wade muttered; Peter giving him a quizzical look.

"Who are you talking to?" Peter asked as Weasel went to grab him a can of soda.

"Not you." Wade supplied cheerfully as Peter gave him a flat and annoyed look.

"I got that much, I meant more as to exactly who you were talking to. You have voices?" Peter asked, doing that adorable head tilt that puppies did.

(Why is he so cute?!)

[I call foul, he's cheating.]

Wade hummed in agreement, staring as Weael came back and tossed Peter his Sprite, the younger boy easily catching it before turning to look at Wade.

"So you're schizophrenic then? But wouldn't that be something your ability would heal? Or is it like how your memories are still intact even if your medial temporal lobe is destroyed? Is it like a preset kind of deal? I suppose that would make sense all things considered."


"I already knew you were a total nerd, but come on Petey, speak English to me here." Wade whined, not exactly sure what Peter was getting at. He knew the schizophrenia bit, he knew he probably had some form of whatever schizophrenia implied, he just never really cared enough to look into it.

[Bullet to the head is much more effective than drugs.]

(Silence is so boring.)

"Well, let's say you explode, and then you come back, but you have all your memories from before, right? So your ability must act like a game's autosave, restoring the last point you were conscious. So it must not be able to completely reset or heal your brain? Although, if that were the case you should be more messed up." Peter murmured, his eyes not really focused on anything.

"You are such a nerd." Wade stated, bringing Peter's attention back to him.

"Hey, it isn't every day you meet someone who can explode and die and then come back without a scratch." Peter retorted, Weasel making a well-he-isn't-wrong face at the comment.

"Hey! don't you start siding with him!" Wade accused, Weasel rolling his eyes and muttering under his breath.

"I can't believe you Petey, turning my own friends against me. So cruel." Wade pouted, revelling in the sound of Peter's genuine laughter.

Wade couldn't remember the last time he'd been able to sit at this bar and just enjoy himself. There was always Weasel to trade banter back and forth with, but this seemed different, more carefree.

"Hey, it's not my fault I'm curious." Peter easily replied, smile still on his face.

"Curiosity killed the cat." Wade replied just as easily, hoping that the kid didn't get too fixated on his abilities. That was one story he wasn't too keen on sharing.

"And satisfaction brought it back." Peter challenged, eyes lit up and just so... happy.

(He's so precious. MUST PROTECT!!!)

[Chill with the exclamation marks.]

(But he's so cuuuuuute.)

[Don't corrupt his soul.]

"For fudge sake, don't ruin this for me." Wade mumbled, watching Peter eye the pool tables. Wade vaguely wondered if Peter would be able to beat him, he seemed pretty good.

"What are the voices saying?" Peter asked, turning to look back at Wade with those totally naive and innocent doe eyes. Total Bambi eyes.

"They think you're too good to be in a place like this."

[No we didn't!]

(Don't put words in our mouth!)

[And I'm not a voice. I prefer the term BOX, thank you very much.]

(Yeah, what he said!)

"You're not a very good mercenary if you only judge someone by their looks. You don't know me or my history."

(We should get to know his history if you know what I mean, wink wink.)

[Isn't a double wink just a blink.]

(No, it's a discrete wink, they'll never know it was a wink.)

[That's actually... Hm.]

Wade ignored the boxes in favour of wondering what on earth the kid had done to think that he deserved to be in Hell House with a bunch of criminals. Wade didn't think he could picture Peter ever fitting in with the hard-edged criminals.

"I suppose that's fair. Well Petey, care for a game?" Wade asked, gesturing towards the tables, eyes never leaving Peter.

"Mmm, bet you a hundred dollars that I'll win." Peter said cheekily, holding up one of his more recently acquired bills.

"You are speaking my language baby boy." Wade said happily, making his way towards one of the tables with Peter following behind him, his soda still in hand.

"So is that a deal?" Peter challenged with an underlying playful tone in his voice, effortlessly catching the pool cue that Wade threw him.

"Make it 500 and we have a deal." Wade said, already planning to go easy on the kid.

"Deal." Peter chirped, offering the cue ball to Wade with an overconfident smile on his face.

It only took five minutes for Wade to realise that he had made a grave mistake in assuming that Peter wouldn't be a challenge for him, his original plan of going easy on the kid going out the window completely when Peter nailed a shot he himself was jealous of, and then another one, and another one...

"You're cheating." Wade said, narrowing his eyes as Peter pulled off another miraculous shot.

"Not cheating, just using basic geometry." Peter insisted, leaning down again to line up his shot. If there was one good thing to come out of this whole ordeal it was dat ass. Wade supposed he could afford to lose $500 for the view.

"Nobody uses math to play pool, that's just lame." Wade said with a pout, watching helplessly as Peter sunk another shot and moved on to make another.

"I'm not even gonna get to play!" Wade whined, leaning against his pool cue and watching as Peter cracked a small smile at Wade's misery.

"Shouldn't have bet so much money on this." Peter taunted, making Wade roll his eyes at the younger boy.

"Shoulda asked me to bet a million Petey, now your chance is gone." Wade tutted, shaking his head in faux sympathy.

"I'm pretty sure that if I ask you to bet a million next time then you'd probably still do it and think you could win." Peter said, shooting Wade a knowing look.

(He knows us so well.)

[We wouldn't actually do that though, right? We aren't that dumb...]

(You kidding me? He's legit bending over a table. I say we up the stakes to 2 mil.)

[Does anyone here think with their head?]


[Don't finish that sentence.]


He said next time.

Chapter Text

"According to this, there's been at least 5 water-related deaths in the past week alone." Ned said, angling his laptop screen so that Peter could see it from where he was casually hanging upside down from the ceiling. It was comfy, okay?

"Water-related, so not just drowning?" Peter said, skim-reading through the files Ned had pulled up from the morgue's database.

"Two people boarded a ferry and weren't seen again afterwards, APB was put out but neither was found, and the other three drowned in places like their bathroom, kitchen, places they should definitely not be drowning." Ned replied, adjusting his laptop again.

"Would any of them justify Deadpool being hired to kill them?" Peter asked, pulling his phone out as Ned texted him the morgue files.

"Actually, I'd say almost all of them would be the kind of people Deadpool goes after. Angela Romans, convicted of child abuse. Evyn Egerton, convicted of multiple homicides. Seth Ruger, a shady political guy. Yvette Cross, a nurse who was fired for stealing drugs. Noah Barker ran a dog fighting ring and sold drugs on the side- Peter any of these people could be 'it'." Ned sighed, tapping his fingers restlessly against his laptop.

"Evyn Egerton, he's the only one in the group who's ever killed somebody?" Peter asked, quickly running through the list in his head again.

"Yeah, looks like he killed three people in 'self-defence' according to the reports in 2001, and then in 2018 four bodies showed up with fairly strong evidence leading back to him, but by then he was gone."

"And he was one of the victims who disappeared on the ferry?" Peter confirmed, twisting to drop back down to his bedroom floor.

"Yeah, along with Yvette Cross." Ned supplied, looking up to meet Peter's gaze.

"You think Evyn and Yvette are working together somehow?" Ned asked curiously, Peter biting his bottom lip in concentration.

"I can't know anything for sure, but from the current 'dead', two don't have bodies, just reports. Can you pull up the files on the people Evyn killed before?" Peter said, grabbing the notebook he usually kept math class notes in.

"You think there could be a pattern?" Ned questioned, fingers strumming over the keyboard, eyes focused on the screen.

"So far everyone who has died has been 'bad' to some extent, all criminals. So if Evyn's past victims are also criminals or share a hidden connection that we aren't seeing yet..." Peter trailed off, letting his words speak for themselves.

"But how does Yvette fit into this? Why her?"

"You said she was stealing drugs?"

"Yeah, she was fired after the hospital found out though. She'd been fired for months before she disappeared."

People mysteriously drowning, a nurse stealing drugs, and the gut feeling Peter was getting from all this was going to give him a headache.

"Which drugs exactly did she take?"

"They were unnamed experimental drugs that were in the process of being human tested at the hospital. The drugs main purpose, from what I'm gathering, was to help cystic fibrosis patients by reducing certain fluids in the body."

"So wait- what? That doesn't have mutant-like possibilities or even normal narcotic possibilities. Why did she want that?"

"I honestly don't know. Maybe to make it better and steal the idea? She has the degrees for it, she was top of her classes at NYU. Definitely overqualified for her previous job. If there was an element of the drug that could possibly lead to mutation she could abuse that? I really don't know dude." Ned sighed, looking at Peter in a silent 'what now?'

"Well, we could go to her place? There's bound to be something there that could tell us something of use." Peter groaned, his previous hunch of Yvette and Evyn working together slowly spiralling down the drain.

For all he knew she could have some niece or nephew that needed the treatment but couldn't afford it.

"At this point, breaking into her place isn't that bad of an idea. We need more evidence then what we've got." Ned admitted, Peter just grumbling incoherent curses under his breathe as he got his suit.


Spider-man had broken into peoples apartments and living spaces before for reasons in the past, but this had to be the weirdest place he'd ever broken into.

It was like walking into a ghetto Batcave owned by Rick Sanchez, who also happened to be a nurse, or more specifically, psycho nurse.

Instead of a dining room table, there was an actual operating table, complete with the blood soaked into the carpet around it.

Ned had said the place wasn't actually owned by a Yvette Cross, but rather a Marissa Summers, an alias of Yvette's, which was definitely suspicious.

"What are you hiding." Peter mumbled to himself, looking over the different array of advanced books all on different forms of genetics and genetic mutation.

"You mean besides the fact she was into some reallll kinky nurse roleplay? Gotta say, freaky does not always equal sexy, trust me on that one."

Peter whirled around to see Deadpool standing in the doorway of the room, looking at Peter like he'd just been there the entire time. Had he been there the whole time? Peter didn't bother asking, instead panic-webbing Deadpool's hand to the wall.

"Hello to you too Spidey, my day was wonderful, thanks for asking." Deadpool chirped, tone as cheerful as ever as the merc used his free hand to unsheath one of the katanas on his back, using it to cut the webbing.

"Err, what are you doing here Deadpool?" Peter asked, heart still racing from the initial shock.

"I'm investigating a target who I was supposed to kill. Did Petey not tell you everything? I thought for sure he'd pass it on." Deadpool said with a small frown.

"No, um, he did. But, what are you doing here..? Unless this was your target?" Peter asked uncertainly, not sure how he should act towards Deadpool. Peter was the one close to Deadpool now, not Spider-man.

"Nah, this chick just caught my interest. My target was the leader of a deeply rooted cartel." Deadpool said, walking into the kitchen to root through the fridge. "Oh gross, she was a vegan. Why does nobody ever have pizza rolls in their fridge?"

"What do you mean she caught your interest?" Peter asked, ignoring the vegan comment for now.

"Six people supposedly drowned and two are missing, each with a notable criminal background. Evyn Egerton was a buddy of mine, like not a good buddy, but I knew him at a point in life- anyway, he went silent two months ago, and the only other person missing is this nurse lady. Who apparently was stealing experimental drugs, and...Using them? She had to do something with them. Which is why I'm here. So she caught my interest, yes."


Peter stared at him for a moment, having to once again remind himself that this was Deadpool, a highly skilled mercenary who did this for a living, a very well paid living.

Peter cleared his throat, refocusing on what they were both here for.

"You came up with eight people in total? I only had five." Peter asked, wondering if they had somehow missed someone. Wouldn't the morgue files account for all of them?

"All the victims tie back to my target. Each had something to do with the cartel that my target owned, which means there's two left, the nurse here, and the son of the cartel leader, Aiden Burke." Deadpool said, walking back into the living room with a not-so-fresh looking banana in hand.

"You think Evyn would target Aiden Burke? Why are you here if Aiden has a big target on his back?" Peter asked, already growing antsy over the fact there was now a civilian in danger.

"Relax. Aiden Burke will be fine for now, I've got a buddy of mine watching his place. If anything happens he'll call me." Deadpool said, throwing the banana at the wall when it failed to remain completely solid after he'd peeled it.

"A good buddy?" Peter asked dryly, already planning on having Ned track every Aiden Burke in New York.

"Hardy har har. If it makes you feel any better I was headed there afterwards."

Which was how Spider-man ended up following Deadpool to Aiden Burke's house after they'd concluded that Yvette Cross was absolutely bonkers and most definitely did something to somebody. After, of course, they'd gotten some subs to go; Peter couldn't constantly eat tacos like Wade could.

"So you've been staking out this guy's house for how long?" Peter asked as they walked towards the rather fancy looking house made of what felt like a bajillion windows. It kind of reminded Peter of one of Tony Stark's houses.

"I've had Bob camped here since yesterday- We're going up by the way." Deadpool said, stopping at the house beside Aiden Burke's.

"Up?" Peter repeated, watching as Deadpool jumped the fence of the house.

Should he follow?

Two break in's in one night? Deadpool was a horrible influence on him.

Peter sighed and followed the mercenary, seeing as the house they were trespassing on was eerily vacant. Or at least he hoped it was vacant. But where did he go from here was the real question.

"Spidey-babe, up here!"

Peter looked up with a resigned sigh to see Deadpool waving from a balcony that some-what overlooked Aiden Burke's backyard.

"Do not call me that ever again." Peter replied in annoyance, swinging up onto the small balcony and stumbling slightly when he realised there was somebody else there besides Deadpool.

"This is Bob, he's a pretty cool dude, helps me out sometimes." Deadpool said, gesturing to the green-clad man who was on the floor of the balcony with a sniper.

"Um, if you don't mind me asking, what's the sniper for?" Peter asked weakly, looking at the house to see where Bob could possibly be aiming. In all honesty, he thought Bob was going to be some imaginary friend or something, not an actual guy who apparently knew how to use a sniper rifle.

"Don't worry darlin', that's only in case we can't get down there in time and we gotta slow him down." Deadpool reassured, once again irritating Peter with pet names. He knew he wasn't going to get his way here, but he still wished Wade would just not with the pet names.

"It is?" Bob asked in confusion, earning a swift kick.

"Can we just focus on not killing him, please?" Peter asked, pinching the bridge of his nose. How did he get in this position? Why did he think it was ever a good idea to seek out Deadpool? He should have just told Tony and ditched on this one.

"Sure thing sweetcheeks~"

"Enough with the horrible pet names already!" Peter exploded, unable to take all the pet names and comments about his butt. In general, the flirting had to stop. Like now.

Now he hadn't forgotten his promise of befriending the mercenary he'd made to Ned, but he could also only handing so much teasing before he honestly just felt uncomfortable. The age gap alone was enough to spook him, but all these pet names and such were putting him on edge. Besides, he hadn't promised to befriend Deadpool as Spider-man, he could befriend Deadpool much easier from the safety of being Peter Parker.

"Aww, is Spidey insecure?" Deadpool cooed, Peter practically bristling at the tone.

"I could literally flick you off this balcony and kill you. Do not tempt me." Peter threatened, crossing his arms and hoping his glare was getting across through his mask.

"Ooo kinky."

"Guys, something weird is happening?"

Both men turned towards the house, Peter squinting to try and locate Aiden Burke among the many-windowed rooms.

Deadpool was quicker at spotting him, practically flying off the balcony and into the other house, breaking in through one of the windows, Peter quickly following in a haste to both save Aiden and make sure Deadpool didn't end up killing anyone. However, he nearly tripped over his own feet at the sight before him.

Aiden Burke currently had a couch between himself and a... puddle?

Peter watched with fascination as the toxic looking puddle slowly shifted into something that vaguely resembled a person, gaining colour and shape till there was a dark haired man maybe in his early 30's standing there, eyes now focused on Deadpool.

"Evyn, good to see you're still kicking." Deadpool said jokingly, Evyn not looking as keen to see Deadpool as the mercenary was to see him.

"Go away." Evyn growled, voice weirdly garbled like he was underwater.

"Free country, I can stay if I want. I mean, you could get a restraining order, but from experience, those don't work very well with me." Deadpool replied with ease, keeping Evyn's attention on himself as Aiden Burke slowly moved towards the door.

"Why you killing these guys Evyn, what did they ever do to you?" Deadpool asked, faux cheeriness in his voice as he walked towards the dark-haired man.

"They took my wife."

Aiden Burke was almost to the door when Evyn saw him from the corner of his eye, charging towards the younger man, Deadpool trying to shoot the water mutant just as Peter webbed Aiden and quickly pulled him away from Evyn. Although, he wasn't exactly sure what to do now that he had put himself in between the two.

"Let me kill him or I will kill you." Evyn demanded, the mirage of a person now gone and replaced with an outline of a body. The water seemed to be breathing, looking slightly terrifying with the way it was fully alive.

"If you want to kill him then you'll have to get through me first." Peter challenged, shoving Aiden further behind him as he faced the toxic sludge. He couldn't web this one, he couldn't touch him, he couldn't do anything. So what was he supposed to do? How did you defeat an untouchable enemy?

Peter blanched as he saw Evyn charge him, sludge-like arms outstretched and rapidly expanding like a sort of water net.

If he moved Aiden would die, and if he didn't move they would both die. What to do, what to do, what to do?!

Peter quickly twisted and shoved Aiden out the window they'd come through, knowing he wouldn't have time to jump out of the way himself.

Time seemed to slow down to a near stop as he watched Aiden's panicked expression as he flew backwards and out of the window, most likely landing in the bushes Peter had spotted on his way in. This was it, this was going to be how Spider-man went out. He could see the headlines now: Spider-man drowns after robbing a frightened civilian.

However, instead of feeling the sensation of all his guts turning to slush, he was instead rammed into and dragged towards the stairs of the building.

Evyn yelled in frustration, sounding like he was following close behind them with new murder plans in mind, Peter quickly regaining his balance to run beside Deadpool.

"Thanks for that." Peter said breathlessly, trying not to trip on the stairs as they both rushed to scale them.

"Don't thank me yet." Deadpool muttered, suddenly knocking the air from Peter's lungs yet again as he was quickly grabbed by the waist and pulled into a room to their right.

"What are you doing?" Peter whisper yelled, letting Deadpool drag him into a closet anyways.

"We are pulling a Houdini. There's no way we can keep outrunning him in a suburban neighbourhood. It's better to lose him now while we've still got stamina." Deadpool whispered back, Peter feeling just slightly claustrophobic about being in such close proximity to a trained killer.

"You just wanted an excuse to drag me into a closet." Peter accused, not missing the fact that Deadpool still had his arm wrapped around Peter's waist.

"Dragging you into a closet was just an added bonus." Deadpool informed him cheekily, Peter shoving Deadpool's arm back to his own side and not Peter's.

"Deadpool can you ease up on the flirting, please." Peter asked in mild annoyance, not wanting this to be a common occurrence he'd have to put up with.

"The name's Wade, you don't have to say Deadpool all the time."

"Wade can you please ease up on the flirting." Peter sighed, not sure if he was managing to get anything through the mercenary's head.

"Mmmm, I'll try, but no promises."

"So basically what you're saying is no."

"So perceptive."

Peter let out a heavy sigh, placing a hand over his eyes as though that would make this all go away.

"When exactly can we leave?" Peter asked, dropping his hand to direct a pointed glare at the merc.

"How long can I convince you to stay? I did save your life and all." Wade said with a teasing tone, leaning a little closer into Peter's personal bubble.

He was right about one thing though.

Wade had saved his life back there.

If Wade hadn't shoved him out of the way when he did then he would have been a salted spider slushie. He was in debt to the mercenary. Something he definitely didn't want to be.

How was he supposed to repay a debt like that? He certainly wasn't going to repay in sexual favours, because just, no. No. But what was he supposed to do? He'd only ever been in debt to Iron Man before, and he figured he'd kind of made up for it by saving Stark's super important plane and all.

"I didn't break him, he's just having a Nam flashback or something."

Peter snapped back to reality, mind still racing with ways to make it up to the merc.

"I'm not broken, and I'm not having a 'Nam flashback' or whatever." Peter retorted, wondering if he could just buy Wade a taco and call it good. Although that felt so dirty. That was like saying his own life was worth a taco.

But what on earth was his life worth?

"Then what are you doing, because wherever you are, it isn't here." Wade commented dryly, opening the closet door and peeking outside.

"How can I repay you." Peter didn't even hesitate or think about the consequences of asking such a thing, and that was probably the scariest part of this whole ordeal. Other than what Wade's response might be.

"Repay m- You mean for saving your life?" Wade asked in confusion, opening the closet door all the way once he'd deemed it safe.

"Yeah, I mean, I would have been dead back there." Peter said awkwardly, unsure of what to do in this situation.

"Well, a simple thank you?" Wade questioned, sounding just as confused and lost as Peter was.

"I'm serious Wade." Peter said, unsure of just how serious he was.

"Yeah, and I am too. You don't owe me anything, but if you really are that dead-set on making it up to me then let's just make this a normal thing." Wade stated, managing to confuse Peter even further.

"Make what a normal thing? Almost dying?" Peter asked in bewilderment, stepping out of the closet to stand in front of the mercenary with a perplexed look.

"No, let's make that specifically not a normal thing. I meant Wednesdays, we always manage to meet up on Wednesdays, so if you want to make it up to me then let me buy you food on Wednesdays and we can hang out and stuff." Wade said, seeming to grow more enthused by this idea as he went on.

Was he honestly so lonely that all he wanted was for Spider-man to hang out with him? Or was this an elaborate scheme to try and get in Spider-man's pants. Peter really didn't want to know at this point.

"Shouldn't I be buying you food?" Peter asked sceptically, not exactly keen on the idea of buying Deadpool amounts of food when he didn't even have a job, but still not wanting to come across as cheap. He couldn't afford to buy one taco, let alone thirty, but he still had his pride.

"Nope, I buy you food and you hang out with me. Deal or no deal?" Wade replied, holding out his hand with his pinky raised.

"You want me to pinky promise on it?" Peter asked in amusement, Wade just staring at him and waiting.

Peter was starting to think this was more loneliness than anything. After all, did Wade have friends besides Weasel and Bob? Peter had to admit that he probably wouldn't be able to stand those two for long periods of time either, and he was a nice guy, okay?

Am I really that much better company?

Although, Wade wasn't asking to spend time with boring Peter. He was asking to spend time with 'swinging through the city' Spider-man. The Amazing Spider-man that was the role model for all the little kids of New York. Maybe Wade was like those kids, just wanting to spend time with their hero.

Or maybe Wade just wanted a friend.

Could it never just be a simple answer for once? He didn't have to make this complicated for himself, right?


Chapter Text

"I cannot believe my genius best friend has been lying to me this whole time."

"When have I ever lied to you?" Peter asked in surprise, looking at Ned in complete bewilderment.

"You are the stupidest person I know. How do you fool everyone into thinking you of all people are a genius." Ned said flatly, shaking his head as they continued walking towards MJ's.

They'd all decided that Thursdays were now officially movie nights for the three of them, and because MJ's parents were usually away on business trips, they could pretty much watch, eat, and destroy whatever they wanted.

If they decided to just make a giant pillow and blanket pile in the middle of the floor then nobody was there to tell them to stop being children. This was one of the reasons that movie nights were always at MJ's.

She also made some pretty awesome homemade popcorn with unhealthy amounts of butter.

"Just because I agreed to hang out with the guy doesn't make me stupid." Peter retorted, screwing up his features in confusion.

"Peter you agreed to hang out with a murdering psychopath. As much as I trust you dude, I do not trust that guy." Ned sighed, knocking on MJ's door as they walked up.

"We're discussing this later." Ned replied quickly, right before the door opened to reveal MJ, looking just as bored and uninterested to see them as always.

"Yo, just finished making the popcorn." MJ said as a way of greeting, walking back inside and leaving the door open for them.

"Nice to see you too!" Peter called after her, smiling anyways when she flipped him off as she was walking away.

MJ was a lot different than friends Peter had had in the past, but it was a refreshing kind of different, and even if he wasn't sure how to address the apparent feelings she had for him, he was glad they were friends anyway. She was a good friend to have in threatening situations, the kind of friend who had your back no matter what.

"What'd you bring for us this time around Ned?" MJ asked, flopping onto the couch with her designated popcorn bowl, Peter walking into the kitchen to grab his own.

"The Breakfast Club." Ned said, grabbing his own popcorn bowl as they all settled into their spots, with MJ taking up her own couch, Peter on the floor ("it's easier to see the screen from here!"), and Ned in the giant beanbag chair that had previously belonged to MJ's brother before he moved out.

"This is why you pick the movies." MJ said with a satisfied chuckle.

As far as friends went, Peter was fairly certain he'd done a pretty good job picking his. Although, they both had sort of picked him rather than the other way around.

He could hardly even remember the first time he'd met Ned. They'd been friends ever since they were little thanks to Aunt May and Mrs. Leeds. However MJ was the new friend, and she turned the duo into a perfect trio with ease. Neither of them could have asked for a better third member, MJ fit the requirements in every way.

Peter startled as his phone buzzed. It couldn't be Ned or MJ, so that only left painfully few options. Aunt May?

Received 13:27: is this Petey?

Sent 13:27: Who is this.

Received 13:28: its your friendly neighbourhood pool guy!!!!![Eggplant Emoji x3]

Sent 13:29: How did you get this number.

Received 13:29: i have my ways...

Received 13:29: anyways this is actually petey right. cuz if it isnt i will find you. and i will kill you.[Various weapon emojis]

Sent 13:30: You're a freakin idiot, but yeah, it's me.

Received 13:30: so watcha up to?

Sent 13:31: Watching a movie with friends.

Received 13:31: ohh? which movie?

Sent 13:32: Breakfast club.

Received 13:32: perfect choice, 10/10. ally sheedys character was hot AF actually ally sheedy in general is hot AF, but especially in breakfast club.

Sent 13:33: Yeah, Ned likes the older iconic movies. what are you up to?

Received 13:34: oh you know, just mourning my youth. breakfast club isnt that old.

Sent 13:35: It came out in 1985 dude. and I thought you didn't actually age... How old are you anyways?

Received 13:35: i age, just super super slowly, at least i think. not like 100 % sure, but like 89.87% sure. like logan, you know. and as for physically im 25-ish give or take, although i was born/created in 1964.

Sent 13:36: Oh. um that's cool I guess. what are you actually doing?

Received 13:36: not unaliving anybody if thats what your asking.[expressionless face emoji]

Sent 13:38: You're*

Received 13:39: dont you dare be one of those people.

Sent 13:40: One of what people?

Received 13:40: one of those fudgin grammar nazis.[Grimacing face emoji]

Sent 13:43: I'm not a grammar nazi, I just really dislike it when people misuse the word your. It's such a simple word to remember, it is literally just "you're", you are. What is so freakin difficult to remember.

Received 13:44: okaaay then, ill remember my yours and you'res from now on, chill XD.

Received 13:45: any other trigger words i should know about?

Sent 13:46: Nah, that's it.

Received 13:46: good to know. so you got anything else planned for the day?

Received 13:48: petey.


Received 13:50: I HAVE TYHE POWER.


Sent 13:52: Agh no stop, I just got distracted, geez.

Received 13:52: i feel abandoned. [Crying face emoji]

Sent 13:53: I'd prefer if you didn't bring up your daddy issues rn.

Received 13:53: you know for a tiny nerd like yourself you have a lot of sass.

Sent 13:53: I am not tiny.

Received 13:54: mmm havent seen it myself so i guess i cant comment.

Sent 13:54: You take everything I say out of context. I meant that I'm not that short.

Received 13:55: you arent tall.

Sent 13:56: I will damage you.

Received 13:56: emotionally or physically?

Sent 13:58: Yes.

Received 13:59: i would love to see you try.

Sent 14:01: I work out you know, not tiny. I could probably take you.

Sent 14:01: Everything I say sounds dirty.

Received 14:02: somebodys got their mind in the gutterrrr~

Sent 14:03: I don't, it's just that whenever I talk to you I have to be on guard for that kind of thing.

Received 14:04: aww u get embawassed? so precious and cute. [Smiling face with heart eyes emoji x3]

Sent 14:05: I do not. I just don't appreciate all the sex jokes.

Received 14:05: they make you uncomfortable? [Face blowing a kiss emoji]

Sent 14:07: I just don't appreciate it.

Received 14:07: dont tell me youre a virgin petey!? [Face screaming in fear emoji (Yes that's its name XD)]

Sent 14:09: Can you not? I'm trying to watch a movie with my friends rn.

Received 14:09: aww, dont be that way. im sowwy if i pissed u off, i promise ill be good.

Sent 14:10: Thank you.

Received 14:11: but i mean hey, you ever wanna have the first time of your life you know who to call. [Face blowing kiss emoji, Backhand index pointing right emoji, OK hand emoji (this is turning into one of those emoji app guessing games)]

Sent 14:11 I s2g Wade I will find a way to permanently cut your dick off.

Received 14:12: you would probably be really good in bed too, with all the kinky stuff that you say sometimes [Winking face emoji]

Received 14:15: okay i promise im done.

Received 14:17: petey im sorrrryyy.

Received 14:19: pleaaaaaase talk to me??

Sent 14:20: Say anything even slightly sexual and I block you.

Received 14:20: okay okay deal. what do you want to talk about?

Sent 14:21: Idk, did you find the guy that killed your target yet?

Received 14:22: yup, me and spiderman met him after saving this one dudes life.

Sent 14:22: Spider-Man was there?

Received 14:23: yup, did he not tell you?

Sent 14:23: Spider-Man and I are kind of friends, we aren't exactly besties, he doesn't tell me everything he does, cause that would be dangerous and stuff.

Received 14:24: how would that be dangerous...

Sent 14:25: The less I know then the less people could be hurt.

Received 14:25: thats lame, you already know stuff, why not know more stuff.

Sent 14:25: Knowing about who Spider-Man is can be dangerous.

Received 14:26: i dont see how its any different then generally knowing spiderman. i mean lets be real, he pretty much treats civilians like family, nobody would think to go to the extra effort to wound spiderman by killing his family when killing a civilian in front of him could pretty much do the same thing.

Received 14:27: tho i guess killing his family might be more scarring. but nobody really wants to mess with iron dad, hes scary.

Sent 14:28: What??

Received 14:29: Iron man/dad. pretty much is the father of spiderman, everybody knows if you mess with spiderman you mess with iron dad.

Sent 14:30: You're actually serious?

Received 14:31: deadly.

Sent 14:33: Spider-Man and Iron-Man aren't really friends though? I thought it was more a boss and employee relationship?

Received 14:34: i dont really know. all i know is that a lot of people wont go anywhere near spidey because tony stank might destroy them.

Sent 14:35: Tony stank?

Received 14:35: its an inside joke. you didnt get it, but they did.

Sent 14:36: Are you talking to voices again?

Received 14:36: no mom. [Squinting face with tongue emoji]

Sent 14:37: I don't understand you sometimes.

Received 14:38: sometimes? baby boy if you understand what i mean even some of the times then i worry for you.

Sent 14:39: I worry for myself enough as it is, no more worrying is required.

Received 14:40: hows your movie?

Sent 14:42: I've been talking with you for pretty much all of it.

Received 14:43: i can stop texting you if you want?

Sent 14:43: No it's fine, I've seen it enough times to know what happens.

Received 14:45: what about your friends?

Sent 14:46: What about them?

Received 14:46: arent they confused as to why youre texting me and not watching the movie?

Sent 14:47: I don't think so? They're both pretty chill. I mean, you've met Ned before.

Received 14:48: the hat guy who tried to outtalk me?

Sent 14:49: Yeah lol.

Received 14:49: he was fun. although im pretty sure he thinks i stalk you.

Sent 14:50: Do you?

Received 14:50: why does everyone think i stalk people? i dont stalk people, especially not you. youre like barely past jailbait.

Sent 14:51: I've been told I act older than my age.

Received 14:52: you dont.

Sent 14:53: I've been wounded.

Received 14:53: why do you text like that?

Sent 14:54: Like what?

Received 14:54: Like you're writing an English paper. With all this grammar and proper didn't's and I've's.

Sent 14:55: It's just how I text??

Received 14:56: nobody texts like that.

Sent 14:56: Well, I do.

Received 14:57: you are such a nerd.

Sent 14:58: I prefer the term geek, thx.

Received 14:59: neeeeeeeerrrrrrrrd.

Sent 15:00: Psychooooooooo.

Received 15:00: all you ever do is hurt my fragile feelings.

Sent 15:01: Right back at'cha.

Received 15:01 soooo, i kind of got off topic, but are you doing anything today? besides the movie?

Sent 15:02: Hanging out at MJ's I guess? Why?

Received 15:03: i just wanted to make sure you werent planning any trips to hell house, since its dangerous and stuff.

Sent 15:04: Is this your way of asking for a rematch? Because I could stop by there later tonight if you want to lose more money.

Received 15:05: i made the mistake of going easy on you last time. i assure you i will not go easy on you this time.

Sent 15:05: You going to bet that million?

Received 15:06: do you want to lose a million?

Sent: 15:07: Wait seriously? Wade don't bet a million lol.

Received 15:08: half a million?

Sent 15:08: You are aware that I'm going to win, right? This will not end well for you.

Received 15:08: youre just scared ill win.


Peter glanced up, realising that the movie was over and both Ned and MJ were looking at him with curiosity, but not the good curiosity, evil curiosity.

"Who ya textin Peter?" MJ asked innocently, Ned levelling him with a suspicious look as his phone buzzed again.

"No one." Peter squeaked, abusing his spider powers to keep his fingers stuck to the phone just in case someone tried to snatch it.

"You're texting Wade, aren't you?" Ned accused, making Peter feel like he was a kid again and had just been caught stealing from the cookie jar by Aunt May.

"I'm not!"

Ned and MJ both gave him equally incredulous and unbelieving looks.

"I can do what I want." Peter mumbled, checking the message Wade had sent him before MJ and Ned decided to have an intervention.

Received 15:09: so tonight?

"Peter it isn't about that, I'm just worried that this guy could be dangerous." Ned protested, making Peter feel guilty again.

"Just trust me on this one." Peter said awkwardly, unsure how they were supposed to seriously talk about this with MJ here.

"I trust Peter."

Both Peter and Ned turned to look at MJ in surprise.

"You do?" Peter asked the same time as Ned asked: "Why?".

"If Peter trusts this guy then I trust this guy, but I do want to meet him eventually. And I better get an invite to the wedding." MJ stated seriously, making Peter short circuit completely. Peter.exe has stopped working.

"Michelle the guy is actually insane." Ned cried out in indignation, MJ shrugging in response.

"Peter's smart, I trust that he can figure out which people he can handle and which he can't." MJ said calmly, Peter still just staring in shock.

Didn't MJ have a crush on him? Had Ned been wrong? Why was she suddenly giving her blessing for Peter to marry Wade of all people? What was going on?

"Um, I'll be right back, I've gotta- bathroom." Ned said suddenly, Peter catching Ned's eye and the look that said they were both wondering the same thing as the other boy left the room abruptly.

"MJ, this might be really rude and please don't hate me, but don't you... like me..?" Peter asked awkwardly, feeling like he was throwing himself to the wolves with just that one sentence.

"I do like you." MJ replied easily, eating a piece of popcorn that was lingering at the bottom of her popcorn bowl, completely nonchalant with the situation.

Peter stared at her blankly, totally unsure where to go from there.

"Peter I've liked you for a long-ass time. You think I don't know you aren't interested?" MJ asked, raising a single eyebrow as she ate another piece of popcorn.

"I- You don't-" Peter started, unsure of what he was going to say to that.

"Hey, you don't have to say anything. It's not like I'm mad that you're showing feelings for somebody else."

"Just disappointed?" Peter asked jokingly, letting his brain go on autopilot. Haha quips, fun times.

"Nah, not really. I was there when you were still crushing on Liz, remember? I'm pretty used to it." And now Peter felt terrible.

"I don't have feelings for Wade." Peter blurted, not really sure what he was doing at this point. He didn't like-like MJ, he didn't want to ruin any friendship they had, but he also hated just rejecting her.

"Peter, I've never seen you blush that hard just because of a few texts." MJ said flatly, giving him the I-know-when-you-lie-so-don't-say-something-stupid look.

Curse Wade and his overly sexual for no reason texts.

"I really don't have any feelings for Wade, he just- he- I-." Peter insisted, going red again at the thought of some of the texts now in his phone.

"Well, feelings or not, you don't have any for me. So we still cool? Friends?" MJ asked, not easing the guilt Peter felt about this at all.

"Yeah, friends." Peter gulped, his throat feeling dry.

He felt horrible. She'd been crushing on him for years and he had never once stopped to consider it in the past because he was too focused on other people. He felt like a total jerk.

"Cheer up Peter, we're still friends. You just better be a good wingman for me from now on." MJ joked, throwing a piece of popcorn at him.

"MJ I'm sorry that-" What was he sorry for? He couldn't just say 'yeah sorry for not liking you, it isn't personal or anything.'

"Peter it's fine, I get it. I'll be fine, just don't try and pity date me, 'cause I really don't want to be the one to reject you. Capiche?" MJ said sternly, giving Peter a pointed look that let him know he had no say in this.

"Yeah, okay." Peter sighed, glancing up as Ned re-entered the room.

"Peter, you brought your copy of Smash bros, right?" MJ asked, reaching for his backpack that was innocently resting by the couch.

"MJ wait!" Both Peter and Ned watched in horror as she unzipped the bag and started digging through it, eventually grabbing Peter's copy of Smash Bros from the bottom of the bag and tossing the game towards Peter.

Had he not packed his suit? He could have sworn he had, but she just hadn't seen it? Had she just not recognised what it was? But it was so bright and vivid.

"What?" MJ asked, raising her eyebrows at them.

"You-y- Peter and- The suit?" Ned eventually stammered out, making Peter freeze up again. If she didn't know before then she had to know now.

"What about the suit. Was that a big secret?" MJ asked innocently, a small smile on her face as she looked from Ned to Peter.

"Was I not supposed to know about this?" MJ questioned, holding up the Spider-man mask resting in the backpack with a slightly annoyed look on her face.

"Seriously guys, if we're friends then at least tell me if one of you swings around the city in spandex. Like seriously. I've been waiting for years to join the Spider-man club." MJ said flatly, Ned bursting into laughter soon after.

"Y-you've known? H-howww long have you known?" Peter asked weakly, realising that this was MJ's revenge, she was totally enjoying this. She always was a bit too much of a sadist.

"I've known since Ned almost died in that one elevator. I had my suspicions before, but the elevator was the last piece of the puzzle for me." MJ admitted, managing to look sheepish and smug at the same time.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Ned asked in surprise, Peter just as surprised.

"Why didn't you say anything? How long have we been friends now again?" MJ inquired, shooting them both annoyed looks.

"Sorry for not telling you." Peter said with a sigh, wondering just how much his poor nerves could handle today.

"I get the secrets thing, but really guys? Anyway, now that we're all so much better friends and all the secrets have been spilt, can we actually play Smash Bros?" MJ asked, waving around a controller and motioning for Peter to put the game in.

"Actually... MJ you still draw right?" Ned asked slowly, both Peter and MJ looking at him curiously.

"Me and Peter have been working on this new suit..."

Chapter Text

Wade didn't know what exactly to think.

Peter hadn't replied in 30 minutes and Wade didn't want to be pushy or clingy, but he really was starting to get worried for the kid.

He was a snarky kid, and if he had a connection with both Spider-man and Deadpool then who knew what other people might know of him, especially the more well-known villains.

He glanced down at his phone again, reading the last few texts he'd sent.

Sent 15:09: so tonight?

Sent 15:11: Peter?

Sent 15:13: i dont sound like im pressuring you or anything right?

Sent 15:13: its cool if you dont want to hang out tonight or anything.

Sent 15:21: youre probably busy. text me when you see this?

[You look sooooo clingy.]

(The clingiest.)

Wade groaned in annoyance, throwing the closest thing available at the wall with as much strength as he could manage from where he was laying on the couch, which happened to be the tv remote.

(Well, it was the tv remote. Good luck watching anything now.)

"Shut up." Wade mumbled, wondering if he should send another text, or call, or trace the number, or do something to make sure the kid was okay.

[You're acting like a teenage girl.]

(A needy teenage girl.)

[Those are the worst kinds.]

(Like a psycho needy teenage girl who also happens to have a high body count.)

[Oh, I take that back, that's the worst kind.]

"Shut up!" Wade yelled, probably scaring the neighbours again.

He sighed, rolling off the couch to stare up at the boring white ceiling of his still-pristine apartment. He hadn't had the time to completely wreck it yet, with how much he'd been out lately.

But with Spider-man keeping him from taking any contracts he was bored out of his mind, circling around the same information on the Evyn Egerton issue.

He grabbed his phone again, looking through his contacts till he found Bob.

Sent 15:23: How is Aiden?

Received 15:23: He is in perfect health, sir!

Sent 15:23: he hasnt tried to escape or anything?

Received 15:24: Nope! He is quite content for the time being. Is he allowed to leave?

Sent 15:24: no, i was just checking to make sure he was still alive.

Received 15:24: Okay!

After almost being murdered, Wade had sent Aiden home with Bob, as Bob seemed friendly enough and would keep an eye on him. The kid wasn't much older than Peter and was completely scared out of his wits, so Bob had just been the right choice, naturally.

[Still can't believe you're crushing on an 18-year-old KID.]

(Hey, Peter acts older than his age.)


"We aren't crushing on Peter. We just want to beat him at pool."

[So you offered to basically give him $500,000 because you want to beat him at pool? I don't think so mister.]

(He's got a nice ass too.)

[Nobody cares!]

(Well I mean obviously we care, otherwise, we wouldn't be having this conversation.)

[You are so annoying.]

(Your mom's annoying.)

[Your mom jokes? Seriously? I thought you were stupid before, but you're a special kind of stupid.]

(Aww, I'm special, thanks.)

[Special kind of special.]

(And you aren't special at all.)

Both voices paused as Wade's phone dinged.

Received 15:26: Sorry!!! The movie ended and my friends were talking to me. Yeah, tonight would be great, and you don't sound like you're pressuring, don't worry.

(He actually texted us back.)

[Well duh, he's a nice kid. Which is why we shouldn't be taking advantage of him like this.]

(How are we taking advantage of him?)

[Because he obviously doesn't actually want to hang out, he's just being nice.]

Sent 15:27: you know you dont have to, its cool if you want to hang out with your friends.

Received 15:27: Are we not friends?

[Oh fu-]

(Catch me, I'm falling.)

Wade blinked at his phone, unsure of what to say to that. Peter wanted to be friends with him? He considered them friends?

Received 15:28: Was that too fast? I just thought since we hang out on purpose, that made us friends. Sorry for assuming things.

Sent 15:28: no no, id love being friends with you, i just wasnt sure thats what you really wanted??

Wade felt like an awkward teenager again. How did one do the friend making thing? He was fairly certain it wasn't the weird way he and Peter were doing it.

(heh, doing it.)

[shut it.]

Received 15:29: Dude, so long as you keep allowing me to win money off you so I can spend it on Taco Bell, I see no problem with being friends. :P

Sent 15:29: if thats all it takes then how about instead of pool i take you out for dinner?

Received 15:31: Like a date..? Because no offence, but we just established being friends.

Sent 15:31: no not a date, i meant more just take you to an olive garden and pig out on their breadsticks together. whatcha say?

Received 15:32: That sounds a lot like a date.

Sent 15:32: its only a date if you want it to be one. im offering you free olive garden, is the choice that difficult?

Received 15:33: Okay fine, but if you pick me up then it has to be after 7 because my Aunt's got a date at 6:30 and she cannot know I'm having dinner with Deadpool, she'd kill me.

Sent 15:34: dinner with deadpool sounds like a bad comedy movie.

Received 15:35: Or a weird porno.

Received 15:35: Forget I said that.

Sent 15:36: oh no way im ever forgetting that.

Sent 15:36: screenshotted

Received 15:37: ffs.

Sent 15:37: so ill pick you up at 7 then?

Received 15:38: I can always take the subway or the bus, you don't have to pick me up, I was joking about that before.

Sent 15:38: noooo, i wanna pick you up at sevennnnn

Received 15:39: Why?

Sent 15:39: cause then i get to woo you with my fancy car.

Received 15:40: I thought we established that this isn't a date.

Sent 15:40: so? i cant woo you with my car? come on baby boy, you dont want to ride in a big bucks sports car? you cant tell me you dont.

Received 15:41: How do you have so much money? Actually wait nvm, I don't want to know.

Sent 15:41: one big fish is all it takes. i could probably live off of one well-paying contract if i wanted to.

Received 15:42: Then why don't you?! You probably have enough money to live comfortably your entire life.

Sent 15:43: eh, its what im good at. i get bored otherwise. and all of the people i take out are all real bad dudes, so win-win. i get paid cash to take out the trash.

Received 15:43: Whatever. So you're picking me up at 7? You have my address?

Sent 15:44: would it make you feel better if i say i dont have your address?

Received 15:44: Tbh I don't really care rn. I gtg, talk to you tonight.

[That didn't go well.]

(Hey, at least he agreed to go to dinner with us!)

[It's going to be hella awkward now though.]

"We shouldn't have brought up the money. He doesn't like us talking about the money." Wade muttered, placing his phone on the coffee table before grabbing the comforter from the couch to wander into the kitchen with.

[Yeah, he just likes the perks of the cash, he doesn't like talking about where it came from.]

(Petey isn't like that. He just doesn't like us killing people.)

[What else are we supposed to do. It isn't like we're bursting with talent.]

"Talent for killing." Wade grumbled, trying to find something edible in the fridge to tie him over until dinner.

[I don't understand why he's so against it. They were bad people.]

(I think it's got to do with him being the embodiment of all things good.)

"I don't see him arguing about Hitler deserving a second chance." Wade said, eventually settling on a carton of ice cream that hadn't gone past the expiration date.

(He probably had someone he lost before. People who lost people are usually sensitive to that kind of thing.)

[Stop being the voice of reason. It's weird.]

(Well maybe someone isn't doing their job.)

[I am doing my job just fine thanks, and last I checked, my job title wasn't 'the voice of reason'.]

(So back to what I was saying. Peter probably just doesn't like murder because someone close to him was murdered.)

[Hey, don't ignore me!]

"Can we really just stop killing though? No matter what Peter thinks, we were helping people." Wade sighed, flopping onto the couch again, reaching for the remote before remembering it was somewhere by the wall in pieces.

(It's not like we need the cash. We've still got millions stashed from all the pricey targets.)

[Are we still only on millions? I thought we'd hit billions by now.]

"But what about the people we saved? All the little people?" Wade said before shovelling a large spoon of ice cream into his mouth.

(We could always just do the whole 'throw em to the cops' routine.)

[That never works, don't be stupid.]

(So what, we make our own super prison to keep them captive forever?)

[No, we just kill them, like we've been doing.]

(Peter doesn't like it.)

[So? We just stop because 'Peter doesn't like it'?]

(If Peter says killing is wrong then shouldn't we at least try to compromise somehow?)

"Maiming." Wade agreed through a mouthful of ice cream, ignoring the brain freeze he got for it.

(No- well, maybe- depends. But I say we just go with the Spider-man way. Tie em up and give em to the cops.)

[What part of 'that doesn't work' don't you get?]

(It works for Spider-man.)

[Doesn't actually work though.]

"Does it really matter? If it works for Peter then that's all that matters. If they seem like the guys that won't be easily taken down with a threat then we just make them quadriplegic or something." Wade said flatly, chucking the empty ice cream container towards the trash can.

(Maybe not that extreme.)

[At that point it would probably be consideredm cruel and unusual punishment and we should probably just kill them.]

(But if they're really bad then it wouldn't hurt to "accidentally" make them quadriplegic.)

"Mmm accidents happen, how do you think the kids got here." Wade recited, Yellow and White letting out duel groans of annoyance at the vine reference.

"Now we should see what else we can dig up on the Evyn case." Wade said, clapping his hands together as he looked around for the cheap 25 cent notebook he'd gotten for the occasion.

[I cant believe you're calling it the Evyn case.]

(It's not even an investigation. It's just a guy who happens to be mutant and killing people.)

[Shouldn't we be focusing on finding a way to stop him.]

"Exactly, which is why It's time we call up some people about a certain drug."


Peter was freaking the hell out.

He had maybe thirty minutes to get ready now and he didn't know the first thing about what to wear to not really dates to olive garden.

He knew Deadpool would probably wear his suit like he usually did, so it wasn't like he had to worry about being the one everyone would most likely stare at, but what was he supposed to wear? Not just normal clothes right?

Aunt May not being here only made the whole situation so much worse.

Peter eventually settled on a red flannel with a pair of his nicer jeans, happy he'd taken a shower before the whole 'what to wear' fiasco.

Now he had the rest of the time available for freaking out.

What the hell had he been thinking?! Just agreeing to go out to Olive Garden with Deadpool of all people?!

Well, he knew what he'd been thinking: free Olive Garden.

But at what point did the temptation of free food outweigh his own life?

Or maybe the free food is just an excuse to hang out with him. And not just because you want to be friends.

Peter shoved that train of thought that sounded freakishly like MJ's voice quickly from his mind, not wanting to think about the consequences of that possible reason. He had bigger problems.

Like as much as he'd love to have a totally carefree friendship with Wade as Peter, there were just too many variables keeping that from happening. He had to be properly prepared and think out every possible wrong outcome of a situation and how to escape if something goes down and he needs to become Spider-man. He needed the freakin blueprints to the building and a Mission Impossible style plan to make sure everything was foolproof. What had he even been thinking in the first place to be befriending Deadpool as Peter?

Sure Spider-man could handle Deadpool, but Peter Parker? He should have stuck to only befriending Deadpool as Spider-man because now he was putting not only his secret identity but everyone he cared about in danger. This was just a huge mess.

Spider-man and Deadpool could be friends, and Spider-man could be a good role model for Wade, but Peter just as Peter? He wasn't special or role model material. Peter was weak and an easy target for bad guys, Spider-man could take care of himself and his friends.

If Peter stopped seeing the line now, then what boundaries would he unknowingly cross in the future?

Peter jumped when he heard a knock at the door, steeling himself before going to open it.

There was still ten minutes till he was supposed to be here, surely it wouldn't be- "Wade."

Peter felt himself starting to clam up, despite repeating the fact that this wasn't a date over and over again in his head.

"Yooou're wearing a dress." Peter stated, more in mild surprise rather than confusion. At this point, Peter was just coming to accept the fact that Wade did Wade things sometimes.

To be fair, it was a rather nice dress. A simple solid black sundress that was adorned with shiny sequins towards the bottom. It matched the usual Deadpool suit he wore underneath rather nicely.

"Indeed I am. You ready to go?"

Peter checked his pockets to make sure he had his phone and house key before nodding, locking the apartment before they left.

"It's a nice dress by the way." Peter said as they walked towards the stairs, smiling to himself. Peter wasn't sure if it was the oddity of the merc in a dress or the merc himself that managed to abruptly soothe his nerves, but either way, he was grateful.

"Aww, you really know how to make a girl feel special, Petey." Wade cooed, Peter simply sticking his tongue out in retaliation at the weird nickname.

"Holllly- That's your car?" Peter asked in disbelief, taking in the black and red Ferrari.

"Mhmmmm, and it's got all the fancy upgrades. I'll have to take you to the track sometime, maybe let you drive if you're a good boy." Wade replied happily.

"I don't really have the best history with driving." Peter admitted, thinking about the time he'd crashed Flash's dad's car. Flash totally deserved it, but 1: it had been a rather terrifying first real driving experience, and 2: he still felt guilty about taking advantage of a civilian just because of his Spider-man authority.

"Well then maybe I'll have to start you on tamer cars. Plenty of time to make you a speed demon. For now, though, you get to enjoy the ride." Wade said ominously, unlocking the car before they both got in.

"You are aware we're in New York City, right? It's more like we'll be stuck in traffic." Peter reminded helpfully, noting that for the car being owned by Deadpool, it was actually quite clean inside.

He could only count three taco wrappers and one McDonald's bag. That was practically the Queen's palace clean for the merc.

"Even if we are stuck in traffic, we'll at least look pretty~" Wade chimed, letting the engine come to life with a humble roar that made Peter grin ear to ear.

"I can't believe I actually get to ride in a Ferrari." Peter commented quietly, knowing that Ned would kill to be in this position right now, although, maybe not next to Deadpool, however, Peter was quite happy where he was.

And it wasn't like he had never been in a fancy car like this before; Tony Stark had a pretty fancy arsenal of sports cars himself, but there was something different about riding with Deadpool. Maybe it was the fact that you knew you might die because Wade most likely didn't have a license, or might just crash the car for fun, but it was different one way or another. Which was weird, because Peter couldn't help but think it was more relaxing to be in the passenger seat with Wade driving than it was with Tony driving.

That probably said something about what kind of person he was and not about the kind of people Wade and Tony were, but he wasn't going to be looking into that anytime soon.

The drive to the nearby Olive Garden didn't take too terribly long. Or maybe it just didn't seem long with the light back and forth banter, trying to pronounce weird licence plates and both of them messing with the radio.

Waiting for a table at the restaurant itself was a little more awkward.

Peter as Peter, wasn't really used to all the attention that came with sitting next to a mercenary in a dress.

That being said, he wasn't really sure how to cope with all the people staring at them as they waited for their own tables, whispering with Peter and Wade most likely at the centre of their conversations.

Logically, he knew they weren't really looking at him, (and if they were they probably thought he was being held hostage or something), but he still felt like the eyes were all on him when they were on Wade, and he couldn't place why, but it bothered him.

"We could get our food to go and head to a park if you want?" Wade offered quietly, drawing Peter's attention away from the family of six that had just walked in, a screaming baby included.

"No I'm fine, are they bothering you? Because I'm fine with wherever." Peter said honestly, not exactly caring what these people thought of him, so long as Wade was comfortable about being here. After all, he knew Wade had at least some insecurities about the way he looked, he knew that much from the time they'd eaten tacos as Deadpool and Spider-man and the other man had been rather self-conscious of his face.

So as far as Peter was concerned, he was an easily forgettable individual, they'd forget about him quick. It was Wade that had the rather gruesome reputation to keep up, not to mention the insecurities that could end badly if other people stared too long.

"I'm fine." Wade clarified.

"I'm fine." Peter mirrored, not sure if he should be feeling awkward right now or some other form of emotion.

Before he had time to decipher the situation, the waitress lady called Wade's name and they were walking towards a table.

It was odd being at the centre of attention as Peter Parker rather than Spider-man. There was definitely a difference between the two spotlights.

As Spider-man he'd always had to set an example, to be a perfect superhero while still suffering the constant ridicule of The Buegel. If he was anything less than perfect than he'd be berated and chastised for every single mistake, he'd learned that the hard way over the years.

However, as Peter, nobody was expecting anything from him. He just had their attention without even trying. Ironically, it wasn't even on the same malicious meter that Spider-man had when it came to attention. This was just attention. He wasn't really sure he liked either forms.

"I say we get zeppole first, just to make sure we don't overeat and miss out on dessert." Wade stated, breaking Peter's train of thought and bringing him back to the present.

"The hell are zappoles?" Peter asked in confusion, looking over the menu, trying to find a picture or description.

"Oh yeah, we are definitely getting zeppole now. Have you never been to Olive Garden before? What's wrong with you?" Wade said in a tone that made it obvious he was raising his eyebrows.

"I don't usually get dessert, I'm usually too full." Peter retorted, which was false, ever since the spider bite he never really got full after his previously normal Olive Garden eating habits, but if he ate too much and revealed the metabolism he now had to Aunt May then she'd get suspicious. Eating three or four Olive Garden dishes was not usual.

"Zeppole are like doughnut dough that's fried and then showered with sugar. They give you raspberry sauce and chocolate too, and if you've got an overachiever waiter then they'll give you caramel too." Wade informed him, pointing to it on Peter's menu for him.

"It says on here that you only get one sauce." Peter said uncertainly.

"Pshhhh, you just ask for both and they don't say anything." Wade said easily, unwrapping the very end of his straw and rolling up his mask so he could hit Peter with the wrapper carried by the power of the air, which of course didn't hit Peter, more hit the back of Peter's hand.

"Such reflexes. I'm envious." Wade said, making quick work on the breadsticks basket.

They chatted comfortably like that for a while, giving their own personal reviews of Olive Garden dishes as though they were food critics, with Wade having tried almost everything and Peter always being the one to stick more to one or two specific dishes.

Once again, Peter was reminded just how easy it was to talk with Deadpool and just say whatever. Somebody on his humour level, who understood his quips and references. Somebody who knew how to keep Peter interested in one-sided conversation but still let him talk.


"Ned mentioned you do a Stark Internship thing when you off and disappeared that one time." Wade said, purposefully taking a break to take a long sip of water as he gave Peter time to respond.

"Yeah um, that thing. It's pretty cool." Peter said, using the most convincing smile he could muster up.

"What does somebody do in a Stark internship? That's gotta be pretty interesting right? I mean, I haven't really heard about it all that much." Wade continued, Peter realising that Wade had probably done some research on this topic.

Does he suspect I'm Spider-Man? Was this whole thing just a ruse to get me to admit it?

"W-well," Don't stutter Parker, it's suspicioussss "I do a lot of science stuff, a lot of top secret stuff I can't tell you about. It's how I met Spider-Man actually!" Peter said, trying to use the Spider-man trigger word to divert Wade's attention off of him, by using himself, to get attention away from himself- nevermind.

"If you're an intern then how on earth did you manage to meet Spider-man? He doesn't seem like somebody to wander around talking to interns. Not saying you're lying or anything, but you gotta see how odd this is Petey." Wade chirped happily.

The sadist was enjoying backing Peter into a corner. Figures.

"Alright, fine, I'll tell you how I actually know Spider-man, but you gotta be quiet about this, okay?" Peter said quietly, leaning forwards slightly so no nearby tables heard.

"I'm listening." Wade whispered back, leaning forward as well so that they were closer then Peter prefered.

"I invented Spider-man's web shooters and the web formula." Peter whispered, hoping this would be a justifiable reason for him to know Spider-man.

"Really? And you didn't keep them for yourself? You didn't want to go flying around the city with your own invention?" Wade asked, the eyes of his mask comically wide.

"Yeah, no, I'm scared of heights, and he could do a lot more good with them then I could." Peter lied. Cue nervous laughter.

Peter startled as his phone buzzed in his pocket, wondering if it was awkward to check your phone when you were on a not-date with somebody.

Received 19:51: We are going to be having a long talk tonight about what you were doing at Olive Garden tonight and who you were with. :)

"You alright baby boy? You went pale as a ghost all of a sudden." Wade asked cautiously, Peter hardly even recognising the voice in the thick cloud of dread currently invading his brain.

Had Aunt May mentioned going to Olive Garden with her date tonight? How could he possibly have forgotten something like that?

"I'm so dead."

Chapter Text


"Why can't I walk you to your door?"

"Because if my Aunt sees you then she'll invite you in and interrogate you."

"I wouldn't go in, just walk you to the door."

"She will see you, and then she will forcefully drag you inside and interrogate you."

Peter held Wade's glare, neither moving.

"You can't carry all the food yourself." Wade argued, looking smug. Obviously, Wade didn't know how stubborn Peter could be.

"Then you shouldn't have ordered us so much food. I'll take half and you can have the rest." Peter huffed, crossing his arms as they both stayed seated in Wade's car, which was currently located in the parking lot outside of Peter's apartment.

"Either way I'll just follow you." Wade stated, also crossing his arms.

"Then I'll stand in the parking lot until you leave."

"Well then maybe I'd just go deliver the food to your doorstep and accidentally meet your Aunt May while you freeze to death in the parking lot."

"It's summer."

"Temperature doesn't change the outcome of me meeting your Aunt."

"Then I'd steal your car and try my rusty driving skills."

"You don't have the keys."

"I could figure out how to hotwire your car in three minutes flat."

"Gah, I love when you talk nerdy to me."

Peter let out a groan of frustration before stepping out of the car with his hands full of leftover bags of Olive Garden food. Wade really had gone overboard with the food.

"You can walk me to the hall, but not the door." Peter said with a stern look.

Aunt May could not meet Deadpool, it just couldn't happen. The world would explode, time would go backwards and pigs would fly-- you get the gist.

Having two very different parts of his life in one single place? That was a trainwreck just waiting to happen, and if Aunt May started asking questions then he wouldn't be able to just lie to her. He could hardly lie to other people, let alone her.

"So you live with your Aunt huh?" Wade asked as they walked inside and towards the stairs. Nobody ever used the elevator here unless you were feeling lucky, and with his Parker luck, he'd rather not, thanks.

"Yuuuup." Peter said, climbing the stairs two at a time, with Wade, unfortunately, keeping up with him.

"So, just you and your Aunt?" Wade asked, sounding unsure of himself.

"Everyone else is dead." Peter said coldly, really not wanting to have this conversation.

Yeah, it had been a couple years since Uncle Ben's death, murder, but he still didn't think he'd ever get over that. His parents he could dismiss, he'd been young when they left, he hardly remembered them. It was his Aunt and Uncle who were the ones who had raised him right and taught him everything, helped him to grow in his personal interests.

"Ooookayyy." Wade said with a nervous exhale, slowly coming to a stop as they reached Peter's door.

"I said you should wait at the hall." Peter said with a slight frown, not used to having the walk up seeming so fast.

"Did you say that? I don't remember you stopping me at any point." Wade said cheerfully, tilting his head almost expectantly.

"This wasn't a date." Peter stated, feeling the need to confirm it not only for Wade, but for his own sanity.

"Of course it wasn't." Wade agreed, placing the two large brown bags of Olive Garden by the doorway.

"We'll have to do it again sometime." Wade said cheekily, giving Peter one last wave before-

"Peter Benjamin Parker!"

Peter turned with wide eyes as the door to the apartment swung open abruptly to reveal Aunt May, Peter quickly stepping into her line of sight to shield Wade from view.

"And you!!"

Wade looked like a deer caught in the headlights, which was probably what Peter looked like if he could see himself right now.

This was not in the plan, this wasn't supposed to happen.

"Both of you inside right now, especially you." May demanded, walking into the hallway to gesture towards the door of the apartment, much to Peter's dismay.

Wade nervously followed Peter into the apartment, both Peter and Wade unsure of what to expect this time around. Peter would have been much happier facing off against Evyn Egerton again rather than be stuck here, answering to Aunt May.

Aunt May wasn't usually controlling or easily angered by simple things, but if there was one thing she hated, it was not knowing why Peter did some of the things he did. He was going to take a wild guess and say she googled Wade beforehand, and the fact it looked like Peter and Wade had been on a date was probably not resting well with her.

Especially with Wade in a dress.

"It isn't what it looks like." Peter said the second the door closed, wondering what on earth he could say to get himself out of this one, with Wade directly behind him as well.

"Care to explain what it looks like?" Aunt May asked, crossing her arms and giving him her best disapproving-mother look that she'd come to perfect over the years.

"It probably looks like I'm dating Deadpool?" Peter said, his voice climbing a little higher as he said it.

"And what is actually happening?" She asked calmly, ignoring the weird nervous shuffling that Wade was doing in the background.

"Wade and I were just hanging out and getting food. He wanted me to try the zapolis." Peter said, giving May his best 'I'm not dating a mercenary' look.

"They're called zappole. Like Italian doughnuts." Wade said helpfully, receiving an 'I'm not stupid.' look from Peter's Aunt. He probably should have mentioned to Wade that May was Italian.

"Shush." Peter said, smacking the merc in the shoulder before offering a bag he knew contained some of the leftover zappole to Aunt May. He really didn't want these two getting off to a bad start. He needed Wade to not want to murder his Aunt and he needed his Aunt to not murder Wade.

"So you're not dating Deadpool, you're just whatever this buddy-buddy thing is with him?" May asked with raised eyebrows.

"I wouldn't say we're buddy-buddy. We're more like 'occasionally we hang out over food' friends. I actually met Peter over at the Stark Internship when I was over there with Spider-man." Wade lied easily, surprising Peter slightly at how he had legitimately been helpful for once.

"From what I've gathered, you're a mercenary. You kill people for money. Why would you be at Peter's internship." Aunt May replied hesitantly, looking like she wasn't sure where it was safe to step.

"With all due respect ma'am, people like to paint me as a villain. And where I'm not really a hero, I do still try to help. I've been trying to fix my ways this time around. No more un-aliving people." Wade said sincerely, albeit rather dramatically, but still sincere, leaving Peter wondering if this was a lie too.

"You always wear your suit and a mask everywhere?" May asked, seeming to grow slightly more comfortable with Wade's response.

"Aunt May-" Peter went to interject, but Wade just waved off Peter's concern.

"Trust me when I say you rather I keep the mask on. I look like the inside of a cat's stomach that's been run over by several semi-trucks, not a pretty sight." Wade clarified, a light chuckle following his words.

"I like to pride myself on saying us Parkers don't judge by appearance." Aunt May challenged, lifting her head a little in defiance.

"Oh trust me, I don't mean to offend you by assuming you would find me disgusting, I just generally wear my suit when I go out. Don't scare any kids." Wade explained, fidgeting again when nobody immediately said anything.

"Alright, so you're a mercenary who's had some sort of revelation to be better, and you've taken an interest in my kid. Should I be worried about this?" She asked, looking at Peter who quickly straightened, still preening a little bit at being called her kid.

"I wouldn't dare harm Petey. Think of me as his personal bodyguard." Wade said with a salute, Peter smiling a little despite himself. After all, he was the one with the super strength, not Wade.

"Wade couldn't ever hurt me." Peter agreed, giving his Aunt a reassuring look.

"So help me Wade, if you're a bad influence on my kid I'll skin you alive." May threatened, Peter letting out a squeak of protest.

"Will do Mrs. Parker! I will be the role model Jesus that young padawan Peter needs." Wade practically sang, Peter hiding a grin at how happy Wade was with the approval of his Aunt.

"Yeah, you better. Alright Wade, now get out of my house, I've got soap operas to watch." May said, nodding towards the door.

"Oooo, you'll have to invite me over sometime so we can watch em together." Wade said happily, ignoring Peter who was slowly pushing Wade towards the door while trying to keep most of his strength at bay.

"Goodnight Wade." Aunt May said with a small smile, waving at the mercenary before he was shoved out the door by a not-so-apologetic Peter.

It was better to get the mercenary out of there while he was still in the good graces of Aunt May then to have the merc stay and accidentally mess it all up.

He still couldn't help the smile that split across his face when he heard Wade's car drive off from his bedroom.

Aunt May hadn't even mentioned the dress.


Received 01:12: ayooo you awake rn?

Sent 01:15: yea

Received 01:15: wow that took fifteen less texts then i thought it would take.

Sent 01:16: m, did u want something?

Received 01:17: ...

Sent 01:17: ..?

Received 01:18: you dont text like petey. Who are you.

Sent 01:19: why would it not be me rn. You are legit texting me and i saw you like, time ago.

Received 01:20: time ago?

Sent 01:20: im tored leave me alone i just want to go back to sleep please.

Sent 01:20: Tired*

Received 01:21: awww youre so cute when youre tired.

Sent 01:21: bugger off.

Received 01:22: your British side is showing [Face blowing kiss emoji]

Sent 01:22: i'm not British? Dude most my heritage is like everything but Britain.

Received 01:23: someone as pale as you? i dont think so.

Received 01:27: did you fall asleep on me?

Received 01:27: hellllllooooooo.

Sent 01:28: stop.

Received 01:28: itsa aliveeee.

Sent 01:29: Wade i love you, but if i have to put up with this much longer im chucking my phone out the winfow.

Received 01:31: dropping the L word so soon petey-pie?

Sent 01:32: i didnt mean it like sexually, i meant it playonically, get over yourself.

Received 01:32: playonically? tell me more [Winking face emoji]

Sent 01:33: platonically*** ffs.

Sent 01:33: remind me why youre texting me right now?

Received 01:34: because apparently you love me and that inclines you love talking to me.

Sent 01:35: says everyone, right before the divorce.

Received 01:35: harsh

Sent 01:36: what do you want.

Received 01:37: so about tonight, or last night, or that time i picked you up for olive garden and then was weirdly questioned by your aunt,

Sent 01:38: ?

Received 01:40: she didnt say anything bad about me afterwards right? like there wasnt anymore 'oh thank god that freakshows gone, never talk to him again' things going on?

Sent 01:41: My Aunt isn't that kind of person. Even if she was repulsed by you she'd probably keep it to herself, however, I don't think she physically can feel repulsed. So no, there were no rude things said about you.

Received 01:44: oh, well, are you sure? i mean, she didnt even say anything about the dress.

Sent 01:45: She lives with me, she's seen me walk into this apartment in some pretty weird outfits.

Received 01:46: you have my attention.

Sent 01:49: well I mean one time Ned and MJ dared me to wear MJ's homecoming dress for the whole day, so she's seen me in a dress before. And there was another time I ruined my clothes and walked in with hello kitty pyjama pants, I think i still have them somewhere. And then there's all the times she walked in on me just randomly in my boxers when Ned is over and she doesnt really question that. So shes pretty chill.

Received 01:50: randomly in your boxers? when ned is over? Dont tell me youre dating ned?

Sent 01:51: no no no no, Ned is great but I don't like him like that. And i just, i dont like clothes? Theyre uncomfortable and stuff. Just easier, to not wear shirts and pants and, yeah.

Received 01:52: so you just wear boxers all the time at your place??

Sent 01:52: Well not all the time, i still wear clothes and stuff. Just not really... idk, im tired, stop asking me questions.

Received 01:53: remind me to come over to your place more often.

Sent 01:54: Stop being a pervert. Were you just texting me about what my Aunt thought about you?

Received 01:54: pretty much. your aunt is flippin hot by the way. i can see where you get it from.

Sent 01:55: thanks I think, but I'm not actually related to May DNA-wise.

Received 01:55: maybe its like owners and dogs. Like how pets start looking like their owners. her hotness just rubbed off on you.

Sent 01:56: Don't hit on my Aunt.

Received 01:56: baby boy im too busy watching your ass to watch hers too.

Sent 01:57: That is probably the weirdest message I've ever been sent.

Received 01:57: youre welcome.

Sent 01:59: so can i go to sleep now.

Received 02:00: awww and leave me?

Sent 02:01: im tired.

Received 02:01: can i ask you one last thing?

Sent 02:02: maybe, depends what it is.

Received 02:05: do you want to come to my place on sunday and just crash? movie marathon, video games, all that jazz?

Sent 02:06: Yeah I've got nothing better to do, but I get to bring Ned and MJ too.

Received 02:06: yeah sure, ive been wanting to meet this mj chick anyways.

Sent 02:07: now that thats been sorted, what do you actually want to ask me.

Received 02:07: what?

Sent 02:08: You took too long. You wanted to ask something else.

Received 02:08: if i bring it up youre just going to dodge the question and go to sleep.

Sent 02:09: promise I won't.

Received 02:10: what happened to your family?

Sent 02:12: If I tell you what happened to them then you have to tell me what happened to you. Still want to know?

Received 02:13: yeah, i do.

Sent 02:15: My parents died when I was really little, unexplainable plane crash. My uncle died more recently when some guy broke into the apartment. My uncle tried to talk to him and was shot for it.

Received 02:16: oh.

Sent 02:17: yeah.

Sent 02:18: you next.

Received 02:19: not a whole lot to tell, you know? I had some pretty bad cancer and some shady dude said he could fix it for me. Now im here.

Sent 02:20: what did the shady dude do to give you a mutation that powerful?

Received 02:21: well if youre thinking of signing up, i certainly dont recommend it. they give you a serum, and then they torture the mutation out of you. lot of the patients died.

Sent 02:22: and they just let you go?

Received 02:22: no. i was one of the only survivors. i didnt start asking questions about you.

Sent 02:23: sorry, I know im bad at that. I won't be nosey anymore, promise.

Received 02:23: you arent that nosey, im just an emotional and sensitive nutcase.

Sent 02:24: yeah, you and me both. Guess we get to be emotionally sensitive lunatics together.

Received 02:24: i love it when you make my words sound fancier.

Sent 02:25: ...

Received 02:26: youre so shy, so smol, so cute.

Sent 02:26: we've been over this.

Received 02:27: you being smol and precious? i dont know if weve been over it enough.

Sent 02:28: im going to bed.

Received 02:28: youre so adorable when youre mad.

Received 02:28: like a kitten who cant catch a laser pointer.

Received 02:29: or a kid whos been denied a cookie.

Received 02:29: or an old woman who's been denied crocs.

Sent 02:30: well as fun as that is, i want to sleep, as should you.

Received 02:30: is that an invitation?

Sent 02:31: gfys

Received 02:31: the fact you only swear in abbreviation format is just too precious.

Sent 02:32: go to hell.

Received 02:32: such an angry child.

Received 02:32: we should get you some anger management therapy for all that pent up aggression.

Received 02:33: maybe a colouring book.

Sent 02:33: i dont need a colouring book. I need sleep.

Received 02:34: come onnnn, its a saturday night. live a little.

Sent 02:34: it is the early morning of friday and ive had a very long day.

Received 02:35: were you that stressed tonight? last night..?

Sent 02:37: no, hanging out with you was great, even if aunt may kind of freaked me out. Im more worried because one of my best friends confessed feelings for me, then told me to forget about it because she already knew i didnt like her, i tried to apologise, and she told me to not.

Received 02:38: ah, teenage angst.

Sent 02:39: i dont know what to do. I dont want to lose her as a friend, and she seems like shes just ignoring it, but do i apologise again? Should i do anything? Ignore it too?

Received 02:40: she probably just needs time to process it and get over it. just treat her like you normally would.

Received 02:40: maybe give her a little more space then what you typically would.

Sent 02:41: you really think so?

Received 02:41: trust me on this one petey, if the girl says shes handling it, dont mess with her plans. just play along with whatever she wants you to do. but dont get roped into pity dating her or anything, that never works out.

Sent 02:42: she said if i tried to pity date her she'd reject me.

Received 02:42: dont try to then. In the meantime maybe ill invite over a guy i know for sunday. we are talking about MJ, correct?"

Sent 02:43: yeah but dont tell her i said anything or she'll hunt me down and cut out my tongue.

Received 02:44: lol, that was very specific, but okay.

Sent 02:44: im going to bed noe.

Sent 02:44: now*

Received 02:45: goodnight petey [Kissing face with closed eyes emoji]

Sent 02:45: goodnight Wade.

Chapter Text


Peter yawned, already starting to feel the effects of Wade interrupting his normal summer break sleep routine. He was going to absolutely dread going back to school and having to put up with always being tired again.

Thankfully, it was a pretty lazy night, with no break-ins or robberies having happened yet, which was surprising since Peter hadn't patrolled the city as Spider-man in a good few days. 

He had his suit's police scanner on just in case he missed anything big, but so far it was smooth sailing tonight.

Peter sighed and looked down at the road below him, watching all the cars as they continued on towards their different destinations. 

He didn't usually come all the way out to Manhatten, but occasionally he'd make the trip when he knew Aunt May was working overtime or he actually had the time. It took some time to make the trek, but the view he could get from the really tall buildings was just beautiful.

He probably should at least attempt to walk back soon, but now that he was here he really wanted to see the sunrise from this height. The problem being, that the sun wasn't going to rise for a longgggg freakin time. Like 5 hours long. 

Peter jumped as Tony Stark appeared in his field of view, the little phone icon underneath ringing, "Tony Stark is calling, would you like to answer?" Karen asked calmly, Peter wishing that he'd turned the Bluetooth setting off on his phone before he'd gone out to patrol.

Peter didn't even get a chance to respond to Karen before Tony was popping up on his screen. 

"Hey champ, you aren't doing anything important right now are you?" Tony said sarcastically, Peter rolling his eyes at the tone. 

"Why? Were you going to tell me something important?" Peter asked, not sarcastically. 

What would Tony Stark be calling him about? Unless he had found out Peter was hanging out with Deadpool? He wouldn't have heard about that, right? Had Wade said something?

"Yeah actually. A little birdy told me that Deadpool has been lurking around the city, so I want you to keep an eye out. I don't want you associating with that guy, I don't want you within a 10-mile radius of him." Stark said tiredly, making Peter wonder what Tony Stark had been doing lately. 

"Yeah, sure, I can do that." Peter lied, focusing on keeping his voice as normal as possible, which he wasn't sure he was succeeding at. 

"...That was a rather odd thing for you to say." Stark said slowly, using that specific tone that said he was figuring something out. Peter knew he was going to be in a whole lot of trouble if he didn't do something very quickly. 

"Well, I kind of already met him once and he bought me a taco. Other than that I haven't seen him around." Peter clarified, crossing his fingers and praying that Stark accepted that as reasonable. 

"That's it? You didn't try and chase him down or anything? Didn't do anything stupid?"

"Believe it or not I'm not actually a dumbass." Peter retorted scathingly, realising afterwards that he'd pretty much just insulted himself.

"Yeah yeah I know. Anyways, I was just calling to inform you on him. I'm working on tracking him down currently, so it shouldn't take too long for me to get him to leave, but just thought I'd give you the heads up." 

"O-Oh? You can track him down just like that? Can Friday track people like that?" Peter asked, trying not to let any of his surprise sound in his voice. He really had to text Wade after this.

"Yeeaaah? Why?"

"Oh, you know, just wondering. I mean, has the guy done anything yet? Can you kick him out of the city for doing nothing? Free country and all." Peter stated awkwardly, already sure that he'd made himself 100x more suspicious now. 

"Peter, this guy has such a high body count that it makes Bucky look as dangerous as a Teletubby. He isn't somebody you want in a heavily populated area." Stark replied easily, the silent question of 'why do you even care.' left unsaid. 

"I don't know, he just seemed like he was turning over a new leaf when I met him that one time. He said he wasn't going to kill people anymore." Peter said, planning on immediately calling Wade after this.

"And you believe him?" Tony snorted, leaving Peter with a sense of anger. Who was Tony Stark to say that somebody couldn't change? How many people died from Stark Industries' weapons? How many murderers did Stark hang out with on an everyday basis? Was Thor totally innocent? Natasha? Clint? If they could change for the better than why couldn't Wade?

"Maybe you should give him a chance." Peter said, closing his eyes and breathing out through his nose to avoid from snapping at somebody he could not afford to snap at. 

"Kid, this guy is actually crazy. As in not sane in the slightest. You aren't going to magically make him a good guy, and even if you managed to get him to 'turn over a new leaf' or whatever, he isn't going to stay that way."

"Is that what people said about you before you changed?" Peter said curtly, realising just as suddenly that arguing with Tony Stark never ended well for him. 

"Sorry Mr. Stark, that was uncalled for. I apologise." Peter said quickly, leaning against the wall beside him and sighing. 

"What is up with you? Did you and Deadpool bond over a single taco and become BFF's while I was gone? Why are you being so defensive about this?" Stark asked, thankfully ignoring Peter's comment, although he could still hear the slightest bit of annoyance in Stark's voice. 

"I just really hate it when people judge others on their past mistakes." Peter insisted, knowing it was a weak defence, but it might be goody two shoes sounding enough for Stark to believe it was what Peter thought. And in a way, it was what Peter thought. Everybody deserved second chances, or third chances, as many chances as it took to change. Maybe it was naive to think so, but Peter wasn't going to give up on somebody for making human mistakes. Making mistakes is what humans did, and it would be stupid to dispose of someone for making those human mistakes. ...Even if it was murder.

"Will you at least think about giving Deadpool another chance?" Peter asked, trying his best not to seem too desperate. Because when it came down to it, Peter didn't really want Wade to leave. He knew it was going to happen someday, most likely when Evyn Egerton was caught, but he didn't really want to fall out of contact with the merc. 

He considered them friends at this point, and Peter hated to admit it, but he'd come to actually enjoy being around the mercenary, even with the knowledge Wade could probably kill him 1000+ different ways without even trying. 

"Fine. I'll talk to him about it when I find him. But if anything fishy starts happening, like people randomly turning up murdered, then he's going to be the first thing to go." Stark said with a heavy sigh. "And don't think you're let off the hook either. I don't want Spider-man near him, no matter how Mr. nice guy he seems. I'm giving him a chance, but if I figure out you're making taco Tuesdays a normal thing then he's getting kicked out of New York by Iron Man pronto. Got it?" Stark reaffirmed, making Peter purse his lips for a second to avoid saying anything brash.

"Sure thing Mr. Stark!" Peter said cheerfully, inwardly cursing and trying to figure out what he was going to tell Wade after this. 

Because there was no way in hell he was going to stop hanging out with Wade just because 'Iron-dad' felt he was dangerous. Peter might appreciate the help and advice every now and again, but he'd had enough father figures in his life, he didn't need a super-dad telling him which superheroes he could and couldn't be superfriends with. He was 18 now, he wasn't that inexperienced 15-year-old anymore who constantly required Stark's help. He could handle himself just fine and make his own decisions. 

Yeah, because I only ever need Stark when I screw up.

Peter let out another conflicted sigh, hating the fact that the random voice in his head was right in a way. He only ever seemed to take Stark's advice when he screwed everything up. Who was to say this time was any different?

But it's Wade.

"Hey Tony, thanks for looking out for me." Peter murmured, knowing he had to say something to keep this from being an awkward phone call. And deep down he knew Stark just did all of this because he cared about Peter in a weird way, but it still felt weird having a sort-of-dad he didn't sign up for.

"Yeah, no problem kid." Stark said, his voice softer than before, reminding Peter once again that Stark just cared.

Stark needs to stop caring  incorrectly .

Peter was starting to feel like maybe he'd hung out with Wade too long. Voices were not a Peter thing, they were a Wade thing.

"Okay, well I'm kind of 'out' right now, so..." Peter trailed off, not sure if Stark had anything else to say.

"Yeah yeah, of course, keep it up kid."

And then the call ended.

"I'm going to be in so so so much trouble later." Peter hissed, digging his phone out of his pocket to disconnect the Bluetooth, starting to dial Wade's number before he abruptly stopped.

Did Stark have access to his phone? He had access to Peter's suit, didn't he? That was what the baby monitor protocol was for.

Could he call Wade right now and be completely sure it was just him and Wade on the line? Did Stark have that power?

Up until now, Peter's leading motto had been 'if Ned can't do it then Stark can't do it.' And out of the few things Ned couldn't do, recovering phone calls was one of them, although he could listen in on live phone calls, and Peter had just called Stark; would the other man would be purposefully waiting for him to call Wade? and if Peter's phone had been connected to the suit then it could have easily picked something up from the suit.

Stark wouldn't purposefully infect Peter's phone with spyware, would he?

Peter sighed for what felt like the millionth time tonight, kicking the wall he was leaning against in frustration only to immediately regret it when the pain came back to bite him. He was starting to wish that there were more bad guys out tonight to fight. However, now he had bigger problems.


He could call Ned and have him check for any spyware or the exact reaches of spyware.

He could say 'screw it Stark probably already knows' and call Wade anyway.

Or he could go with plan C.


Peter found himself at a payphone, waiting for Wade to pick up as he tried to read the graffiti messages decorating the area to no avail. Why does no one ever vandalize with eligible writing?

"Buddy the elf, what's your favourite colour?" Wade said the second he picked up, making Peter smile despite the annoying situation he was currently in.

"Hey Wade, it's Peter. Um, I think there's a bug on my phone so I'm calling from a pay phone, but Spider-man told me to tell you that Tony Stark is currently aware of your presence in New York, trying to track you, and would like to talk to you because Spider-man stood up for you because of my sake and now thinks you don't kill people, so I really need you to not kill people please. Just how much were you lying when you told my Aunt you were going to change?"

"Okay, woah, slow down. I got that Tony Stark is hunting me down, but what about Spider-man?"

"Spider-man stood up for you when Stark wanted to kick you out of New York, but to do that he said you weren't going to kill anybody ever again. Also, if Stark finds you then don't mention me, whatever you do."

"Where are you right now? I'm not exactly sure this is something we can totally work out over a single payphone call."

"I'm in Manhattan- um, you probably don't know street names- Do you know where Rosa Mexicano is? Like the east side of Manhattan? By Roosevelt Island?" Peter asked, not exactly sure where he was himself.

"Manhattan- baby boy it's midnigh-" There was an audible sigh. "Yeah, I know the place. Wait there and I'll come get you, okay?"

"I'll be here." Peter promised, thanking his past self for thinking to bring his backpack with him this time.

And then the call ended.


"I still don't see why you needed to use a payphone. Why would Stark try and put a bug on your phone, isn't he more focused on Spider-man..?" Wade asked in confusion, making Peter regret ever talking about the possible bug in the first place.

"I'm kind of like Spider-man's assistant. I create the web fluid, mod his web shooters, and if he's busy, I do the small things he doesn't have time for. So it wouldn't be weird for Stark to put a bug on my phone too."

"But how would you even get the bug."

"Wade, focus. Tony Stark is trying to track you down and interrogate you about murder, remember?" Peter snapped, earning a weird look from the cashier at the register.

Peter slumped, holding his hot chocolate close to him like someone might try to take it.

They were currently sitting in a 24/7 diner, Peter with his hot chocolate, and Wade with a 'peanut butter and jelly' milkshake that did not look appetising in the least.

"I highly doubt he can beat Aunt May's interrogation. I don't think I'd ever felt so nervous in my entire life, no topping that."

"Wade. This is Iron Man we're talking about. And he doesn't like you. My Aunt is a very understanding person, Tony Stark is not." Peter said, running a hand through his hair in mild distress.

He knew Wade probably wasn't going to get kicked out of the city, even if Tony tried, Peter doubted that he'd actually manage to keep Wade away. However, if Tony Stark ended up hating Deadpool so much that he wanted to get rid of Deadpool, then that would make life very difficult for Peter.

Peter definitely didn't want to come to a point where he had to choose between Wade and Tony, because to be honest, he'd known Wade less, but he was already starting to feel like he knew who he'd choose if the problem arose.

"Stop messing up your hair." Wade muttered, throwing Peter off for a second.

"What? Why?"

"Because it's driving me absolutely insane." Wade whined, taking a drink of his milkshake.

"You already were insane." Peter replied, raising an eyebrow at the merc.

"Sexually insane, Petey."

"Stop flirting with me, it's weird." Peter muttered, awkwardly trying to make his hair somewhat normal before taking another sip of his hot chocolate.

They both just stared at each other for a moment, Peter not actually sure if Wade was staring at him when he was wearing the mask.

"I think I'll do fine with tin can's interrogation, If he can even find me." Wade said matter of factly, making Peter question Wade's intelligence, not for the first time.

"He has the power of robots and high-tech AI's on his side." Peter pointed out, not exactly sure if Wade knew how easy he was to find in his red and black suit.

"Dr. Doom has robots too and nothing ever works out for him." Wade reminded him, Peter having to admit he had a point.

"But Mr. Stark can track your suit. You'll need something to blend in better." Peter said with a yawn, his body reminding him it was late and he'd had limited sleep last night.

"I don't wear my suit all the time, just a lot of the time. Trust me when I say the suit draws less attention than my actual face." Wade muttered, taking another drink of his milkshake.

"People are jerks." Peter stated, not liking the fact that just because someone's face was scarred it meant that they were suddenly a social outcast. That was stupid.

"Little random, don't you think?" Wade asked, tilting his head to the side slightly in silent question.

"People shouldn't judge by appearances. It's just stupid." Peter said, before taking another sip of hot chocolate.

"Human nature I guess. I'd probably judge me too if I was just walking down the street. I'm not exactly a pretty sight." Wade joked, but Peter could still hear the hint of insecurity there.

"Shouldn't matter what anybody looks like. If they want to be scared of you then they should be scared because you have katanas and guns, not because of your face." Peter argued, not exactly sure who he was arguing against.

"We should probably get you home, I think you're starting to show signs of sleep deprivation insanity." Wade chuckled, finishing his milkshake and chucking the container into the trash can from where they sat.

"Yeah, cause somebody woke me up at freakin 2 AM."

"Hey now, it was 12 or 1, you just kept on talking till 2."

"Screw you."

"Please do."

Peter gave a small sigh of frustration, shooting Wade a glare as he sipped his hot chocolate. 

"I should probably head out soon anyway. I'm planning to meet up with Evyn and 'talk' about some things. See if I can figure out if I can work something out for Aiden." Wade said, slumping a little in his seat. 

"Oh? Are you just going by yourself? And why didn't you mention this to me before?" Peter asked, trying not to feel too left out that Deadpool hadn't tried to contact Spider-man for back-up.

"Yeah, and you were a little preoccupied with the whole 'Tony Stark wants to kill you for killing' thing. But yeah, Weasel managed to get me Yvette's number. Apparently, Evyn and Yvette have been working together because Yvette had a grudge against the same guys. Big mess. So hopefully we can work something out where Aiden is able to live freely." Wade huffed.

"Why are you meeting up? And how do you know it isn't a trap?" Peter questioned, already starting to make plans to 'casually drop by' as Spider-man on his way home.

"We're meeting up because people like us don't like giving out our number. And the reason I'm going is because it might be a trap. I need to know what kind of people these guys are and this one of the better ways to do it."

"I bet they're having you meet up in a shady warehouse or something." Peter grumbled, trying to phrase his question in a way that said he wasn't trying to get the location out of Wade.

"Nope, the top of the 432 Park Ave. Skycraper. I think the way they figure it, neither of us can really just poof out of that one. No real exit other than the door or down, and nobody wants to go the down way." Wade said, seeming to cheer up at the complete shock on Peter's face.

"Aren't you worried they'll push you off or something?!" Peter exclaimed, nearly knocking over his hot chocolate if it wasn't for his reflexes.

"Well, if I fall off, it'll just take me a while to regenerate, it won't kill me or anything-"

"It'll still bloody hurt!" Peter protested, feeling nauseous just from thinking about hitting the ground from that height.

"You're British side is showing again."

"I'm not British!!"

"Sure you aren't. But anyways, we're meeting at the top of the skyscraper thingy to talk about the terms of Aiden. So we'll see how that goes and all. See if I can figure out if he's insane or just stupid." Wade said, wisely changing the subject.

"When this goes horribly wrong I reserve the right to say 'I told you so.'" Peter accused, not so sure he wanted to join the party anymore.

Peter was no stranger to heights, but he didn't exactly go seeking them out every second. He'd scaled some of the skyscrapers in Manhattan for the view, but he hadn't ever really wanted to climb something like that or the World Trade centre building.

He was much happier when he was closer to the ground. After all, what crime fighting was there to do in the skies?

"Just be careful tonight." Peter sighed, wishing the same for himself.

1400 ' building. No biggie. No biggie at all.


Chapter Text



Peter couldn't believe himself sometimes.

He'd had Wade drop him off at his "friend's" who just happened to live in an apartment building a couple of miles away from Park Avenue's Skyscraper.

So now here he was, backpack webbed to an alleyway he was probably going to not remember the location of, staring up at one of the tallest buildings he'd ever seen in his life, let alone the world, and was planning on climbing it.

"It's just 3 Washington Monuments stacked on top of each other. No problem." Peter muttered to himself, shooting a web up as far up as he could.

"No problem." He muttered again, using the web he'd shot to catapult himself up the first couple of feet before shooting another web to get him a little further.

He felt tired already and he had hardly even done anything yet. Why did this building have to be so tall? He already appreciated elevators, it wasn't like he needed a friendly reminder that he couldn't use the heavily secured one inside.

He wondered what Mr. Stark would say about him climbing some ridiculously high building like this. He hadn't exactly been too happy about the whole Washington Monument thing a couple years back, and Peter couldn't really blame him. The Washington Monument was definitely not one of Peter's most favourite memories. Between the police helicopter that had live weapons trained on him, and then that terrifying freefall sort of swing to go slamming into the bulletproof glass, not even sure that the glass would break- It was definitely down near the bottom of the list of 'Fun School Trips Peter's Taken'.

He supposed the boost in Spider-man rep had been pretty cool, and his school was still pretty big Spider-man fans, but he still didn't like to remember the way Liz had looked absolutely terrified when she thought she was going to fall to her death. If Peter hadn't caught her then she would have...

He still had nightmares about the what if's that all could have gone wrong that day.

Peter risked a glance down when he figured he was about halfway up, regretting it immediately when he saw just how high up he was. This was definitely not how he had wanted to spend his night. 

However, the view from here was absolutely stunning. There was no denying how beautiful the city looked from this height. Truly beautiful. Terrifying, but also beautiful. He could only imagine what the view from the top would be if he already felt like he was on the top of the world. He'd actually be setting his own personal record for height. If he didn't count that one time he'd been dropped like a billion feet by Vulture, or the plane thing. It would be his own personal record for willingly going so high up a building. 

Eventually, he did manage to make it to the top, and the view was absolutely stunningly horrifying. The light breeze from the ground now felt life-threatening from up here. If he fell there would be nothing to really web but the building he was currently residing on for at least a couple hundred feet down. Nothing else in the area could compare. 

"Don't fall." Peter muttered to himself, looking to see if Wade had beat him with the aid of the elevator or not. How did Wade get through the security anyway? If Peter found out there were dead people in this building then Wade was in major trouble.

He stayed still as he saw Evyn and Yvette a ways away, their backs to him as they faced Wade.

Were they talking?

"Karen, activate the eavesdropper thing." Peter whispered, keeping himself glued to the edge of the building as much as possible so as not to be seen. 

"-Just a kid. I'm not giving you an innocent kid just so you can get your kicks." Wade snapped sarcastically.

"Aiden in return for our departure." a weird garbled voice demanded, Peter knowing that voice as belonging to Evyn.

"Look, buddy, I don't need you gone. I've already got people working on figuring out what steroids you took to get all macho-mutant, so you can demand all you want, but I'm offering you a headstart. I'm not going to offer you anything else." Wade stated, straightening up a little bit.

"If you think you can take on me then you are sorely mistaken." Evyn growled, the hostility in the air making Peter's spidey sense prickle uncomfortably. 

"Hey, guys! Didn't think about inviting me to the party? Some great friends you are." Peter said quickly, jumping up over the edge and on top of the building, walking over slowly to stand beside Wade, slowly enough so that they could see he was no threat. 

"Spider-man." Evyn said lowly, with obvious distaste in his voice. Who Peter presumed to be Yvette,  was shooting glares at him, Peter noticing that she had a handgun on her hip. 

"I could have sworn I sent you an invitation. Maybe it got lost in the mail?" Wade asked, seeing Peter's attempt to lighten the atmosphere. 

"We were just talking about our mutual friend Aiden." Wade informed him, Peter nodding in recognition. 

"Give us Aiden." Evyn said again, sounding even more hostile than before much to Peter's chagrin. 

"Honestly Wade, I don't see how we're any different than you. We're just doing you the favour of taking some scum out of this city. You can keep Aiden from us, but we'll just start on the next drug cartel we come across." Yvette hissed, making Peter feel defensive. 

Did Wade know her? She obviously knew him, or at least his name and his agenda.

"Look here rip-off Harley Quinn, I don't do that kinda thing anymore. And for the record, I know Evyn well enough to know that the second you start holding him back or you start lagging behind, he'll kill you. So if I was you I'd get out of the abusive relationship." Wade retorted, her face seeming to become even angrier. 

"Evyn darling, I've just about had enough of the wannabe Avengers." Yvette said darkly, Peter quickly realising this conversation was starting to go south, not that it hadn't been already.

"Wait, why is Aiden so important? If you're like Deadpool than you would only go after criminals, not innocent kids." Peter interjected, holding up his hands in the universal sign for 'wait let's be chill.'

"Aiden is the son of the man who killed my family." Evyn said gruffly, his human form shimmering (rippling?) just slightly.

"I thought you said he killed your wife?" Peter asked cautiously, not wanting to set the man off any more than he already was. 

This was not a situation that Peter wanted to be in whatsoever. Why did conversations between dangerous people never end well? And if they did start fighting then what was the plan here? Yvette might be an easy target, but Evyn himself was immune to both Peter's webs and Wade's katanas. 

"My wife was pregnant with my daughter. It's only fair I take that man's son from him as well." Evyn said, his arms starting to elongate into a whip-like tentacle. 

That could not be good.

This was not going to plan at all. His whole plan had consisted of just making sure Wade didn't fall off a building. Should he just take Wade and run? But if there was a chance that they could capture Yvette at least, than surely they should try to do so, right?

"What if we make you a deal." Wade offered, not seeming too phased by the way Evyn seemed to be ready to attack at any second.

"If you're going to offer us your stupid cat and mouse routine again then don't bother." Yvette stated crossly, her arms crossed over her chest as she stared them down, Evyn not looking to be much in the mood for talking either.

Peter vaguely wondered if Yvette had an ability as well that they just couldn't see on the surface like Evyn. If she did, then they were royally screwed.

Jumping off the building from this height with just himself would be fairly easy due to the wings of his suit, should he need them, but if he wanted to get Wade out of here as well?

"Let's say we gave you Aiden. What would you do after that." Wade asked, Peter snapping his head around to look at Wade. 

He wasn't actually serious, right? He had to know that Spider-man would be opposed to that. He wouldn't just give up an innocent like that, right? Wade could be violent sure, but he wouldn't just hand over an innocent person.

"Probably go to Hawaii, maybe check out Rio this time of year." Yvette drawled sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"I'd go back to taking contracts." Evyn said unsurely, making Peter even warier. If he thought he hadn't had a plan, then these guys really had no plan. 

"So, in reality, you have no clue." Wade joked, Peter tensing slightly and waiting for someone to throw the first punch.

"You went on a killing spree for what reason again?" Peter asked in confusion. These guys weren't really criminals, were they? They seemed more like two kids who had simply had enough power to get away with something, so they did. 

"My brother overdosed on drugs that he got from those guys." Yvette muttered, Peter feeling like he was seeing her for the first time. She couldn't be much older than 20, with the punk rocker style she was sporting and the heavy eyeliner that screamed 'I'm still mentally 15'. 

"We wanted revenge, to destroy them all, and our mission won't be complete until we kill Aiden." Evyn growled, taking a step forward and making Peter instinctively take one back, Wade remaining unmoving.

"So your whole plan was to just get revenge? Why now? Do me a favour here and monologue or something, I want answers before you chuck me off this building." Wade whined, Peter glaring at him and wishing his mask showed just how annoyed that sentence made him. Nobody was getting thrown off buildings on his watch.

"I've tried before." Evyn said in annoyance, like he was actually offended that Wade just assumed that he hadn't tried. 

"What do you mean you tried? I've known you for- what? ten years now? And you couldn't take out this one single drug cartel before you got some fancy drugs in your system?" Wade asked incredulously, Wade not sounding too impressed with Evyn's performance. 

Honestly, Peter was used to the whole monologuing villains and talking to criminals during the fight gig, but he was starting to wonder why on earth they weren't fighting yet. He just wanted to get off of this death tower and go to bed already.

"This cartel was not some measly small-time circus show. We're talking about big leagues, Wade. This was the best of the best, could you not see it before? I've been working on their numbers for years. I just couldn't ever manage to get to the puppet masters inside. But now, with this power, I can kill anyone with just one touch." Evyn sneered, lunging forward, towards Wade.

Peter quickly jumped to the side, webbing Wade easily and pulling him closer and away from the offending tentacle. 

"I think I saw a hentai like this once." Wade quipped, quickly pulling Peter away from another tentacle, both of them splitting up from there.

Peter quickly shot a web at Yvette's feet as she ran for the stairwell, quickly avoiding a sweeping tentacle directly after and only knowing he'd managed to hit Yvette from the frustrated shout she let out a few seconds later.

Now all they had to do was avoid the huge tentacle monster that wanted them dead. 

If Peter was correct, then Evyn couldn't actually kill them with just one touch, but if he was concentrating hard enough then he could probably use the water that made up himself to not only drown them but completely obliterate/crush their insides in the process. Which in a way, was a much more sure-fire way of killing them, no matter how gruesome it seemed.

However, Peter didn't exactly want to put his theory to the test and go throw himself in front of one of those tentacles.

"Get the girl!" Wade called, from the opposite side of the building, making Peter pause just slightly, enough for Evyn to slam a way-too-dense water tentacle into Peter's side, flinging him into the tiny little wall that blocked people from going over the edge of the building.

That was painful. And terrifying.

Peter quickly got to his feet, jumping high when the tentacle came back to swipe at him again. At least now he knew that if you did, in fact, touch the tentacles, you didn't drown. So good for him?

Peter went to walk towards the girl again, quickly avoiding a bullet thanks to his spidey senses. Spidey sense bests bullets. 

Evyn seemed to be enjoying himself from where he was at the exact centre of the square, his two arms switching between antagonizing Wade and Peter, reminding Peter of an angry looking jellyfish. 

He yelped as one of the arms managed to hit him again, this time nearly sending him over the edge of the building, Peter only just barely catching the edge of the building with his fingertips. He managed to pull himself back up onto the side, feeling like he might've just thrown his arm out of its socket from the abrupt stop.

His senses suddenly screamed at him, his eyes instinctively looking towards the tentacles that were currently both focused on Wade, no sign of threat to him personally only to realise there was a searing pain a little above his ear.

Whether it was from having the air thoroughly knocked out of his lungs, being nearly thrown off a building, putting his arm out of its socket, or just the sheer exhaustion from already doing so much that night, he didn't manage to connect the dots till his eyes landed on Yvette, her gun aimed at him, another bullet embedding itself in his shoulder this time before he was slammed into again by Evyn, his mind having a hard time processing that he was actually off the building this time.

Everything was happening too fast, or maybe he was just too slow.

He could hear his own heartbeat pounding in his ears.

He could feel the air at his back.

He could see the edge of it getting further and further away, his whole right shoulder feeling like it was burning, clouding his judgement. 

In that moment he knew he needed to do something before he ended up as a Spider-mancake on the pavement, but he wasn't sure where he should shoot to keep himself from hitting the ground.

The one building that was supposed to be his main target for if he did, in fact, go flying off the building, was too far now to web safely to, and the buildings around him were still far below him.

Between the horrible burning feeling happening between his head and shoulder, he was starting to see double, blinking away tears that he hadn't been aware he was crying.

How does Wade handle being shot? This sucks

Karen thankfully seemed to know what was happening, activating the wings of his suit for him, letting him start gliding, although the way he was falling he couldn't figure out where the nearest building was and where he should be trying to glide towar-

He slammed into something painfully hard, suddenly spinning blindly, the world going by too fast for him to tell what was up and what was down. He was going to be completely sick. 

There was a building behind him, he just had to grab it.

He stuck out his arms to try and stop spinning, painfully scraping it along the edge of a building that was flying by him way too fast. If his arm hadn't been out of the socket before then it definitely was now.

Now he was really starting to panic, with the warm sticky feeling on the side of his head starting to spread down his cheek as it seeped into the mask's material, the taste of something metallic on his lips. This was so much worse than that time Vulture had almost drowned him. 

If I hit the ground this time I'm not going to make it.

Despite Mr. Stark constantly telling him that he should reinstall his parachute, Peter never did because the extra weight of carrying around a parachute was 'annoying' (It wasn't really, Peter was just lazy and didn't want to reinstall it.) and made his back look weird from certain angles. (that part was true.) Not to mention the fact he never actually was one for climbing up to the point he would need a parachute. 

He was the Spider-man of Queens, crimes that were close to the ground and where the tallest skyscraper didn't even go past 700 feet, not the Spider-man of 1000+ feet Manhattan buildings. He never thought he'd need the parachute.

Why on earth didn't he reinstall his parachute?

The sheer terror that that thought brought him was overbearing, his arm immediately going out to try and grab the wall again, screaming when he felt like his arm was going to be ripped from his body. He hit the side of the building hard, his whole body felt numb with the impact, and he could feel himself slipping, not only slowly down the building, but in and out of consciousness. 

Peter shut his eyes tightly, knowing there was still a long way down to go.

Another stabbing feeling of pain overwhelmed him, making him slip, trying to grab the wall again when he started to fall.

His vision clouded again and then he was resurfacing to falling again, staring up at the night sky in what felt like an endless nightmare. 

The ground couldn't be too far now. If he was lucky he might even hit the roof of another building before he could hit the ground.

Watching the other buildings fly past him as he fell hardly even scared him at this point. With his entire body falling into shock he couldn't fully register the fact that those buildings meant he would be hitting the ground any second now. All he could bring himself to think about was how much his body hurt. He almost didn't want to open his eyes, just in case trying to cling to that building really had torn his arm from his body.

Just let it be over.

There was a second of searing white hot pain and then everything went black. 

Chapter Text

When Peter woke up it was in a state of complete and utter panic, the feeling of falling still so fresh in his mind that it felt like he still was.

He had to just lay there for a few minutes with his eyes tightly shut, doing his best to keep his breathing even and stable while he tried to figure out how injured he was. It took him a moment to remember what exactly had happened before, the memory of right before he fell, or more flew off the building, still hazy and unclear in his mind. He had been shot, twice. He knew that much. And his arm

He sighed in relief as he flexed his fingers and they responded, although not without such a sharp jab of pain he thought he might black out again just from the feeling. 

He wasn't dead and he had all his limbs, which was a good sign. 

Slowly he opened his eyes, noting the fact that he was laying down on something that wasn't pavement, asphalt, or a rooftop, staring up at a pristine and white ceiling. Which left the question as to where exactly he was and how he'd gotten there. Especially seeing as it didn't look like it had been Stark who'd saved him from rotting on a rooftop somewhere.

He winced when he tried to move his head, feeling like he'd woken up his body finally and could now feel just how horribly sore and stiff his entire body was. He wasn't going to be able to move at all without his shoulder screaming in agony to any movement whatsoever.

He glanced to his right, panicking when he saw someone sitting in an armchair, yet they weren't moving, and their general body shape was- Wade?

The man was obviously sleeping, legs dropped over one arm of the chair and his head resting on the other, eyes closed. 

So he was at Wade's place?

Peter looked around at his surroundings to the best of his ability, managing to see that he was currently resting on a couch, a coffee table beyond that with various first aid kits on it and- was that a bullet?

Had that bullet come from him?

He turned to look at his shoulder again, clenching his teeth at the pain that seared up just from moving the blanket draped over himself. 


His shoulder was bandaged, dried blood in a vague enough shape that Peter figured that was probably where the bullet resting in a bowl on the coffee table came from. 

Was he going to scar now? He had a few scars on his shoulder from when Vulture had grabbed him, but they weren't glaringly obvious. Would his healing factor heal a bullet wound scar? And why on earth did it always have to be the shoulders? Couldn't bad guys target something else for once? At this rate, he was going to become resistant to shoulder pain altogether.

Peter went to grip the back of the couch to pull himself up but instead cried out at the pain that shot through his entire arm, reminding him of just how badly he'd damaged it during the fall. This wasn't one he'd be able to persevere through apparently.

Peter startled as Wade suddenly woke up, looking around the room before his eyes landed on Peter. A Peter who had just realised he'd fallen as Spider-man and woken up as Peter.

"Hey." Peter said weakly, not totally sure what he should expect right now. 

Would Wade be angry? Sad that Peter hadn't told him? Disappointed? Peter was already starting to feel sick to his stomach with a weird guilt. Wade didn't look mad or anything, but it could only be so long before Wade fully woke up and realised he could say whatever he wanted to say to him. After all, Wade had to have something to say, seeing as he'd had however long Peter was out to think about it.

He had never really intended to tell Wade he was Spider-man, but at the same time he felt horrible for not telling him. Should he have told him? Was he going to be disappointed that Spider-man was just Peter? He felt his heart fall at that thought. 

Will he be disappointed I'm just me?

"How are you feeling?" Wade asked tiredly, crawling out of the chair to sit on the floor next to the couch Peter was on instead.

"I- what? Y-you aren't mad?" Peter stammered, completely lost already, not protesting as Wade helped him sit up, pressing a cup of water and some painkillers into his hand. Would these painkillers even work with his healing factor?

"What would I be mad about..?" Wade asked slowly, letting Peter down the much-needed painkillers, "About me being Spider-man!" Peter blurted, wincing as he jostled his shoulder. 

"Oh, yeah I forgot about that-"

"How do you forget about that?!" Peter exclaimed again, feeling confused and just slightly disoriented after waking up only a few seconds ago. 

"Baby boy I've known for a long while that you were spidey. Now I'm sorry for not telling you I knew and all that, but I didn't want to bust your identity fetish bubble so I just left it. Let's skip all that craziness." Wade said with a yawn, reaching for his mask.

Wade had just known? And Wade had kept quiet about it? Peter was stunned into silence for a moment, trying to figure out just how long Wade must've known. Unless he was lying? But why would Wade lie about something like that? Besides, his reaction was just too calm to be a lie.

So if Wade really had known, then how long had he known? Since the beginning? When was the beginning? Peter felt like he was going in circles, deciding to just block the topic from his mind till he was feeling at least well enough to move on his own. If he kept on this train of thought then he'd just drive himself mad.

"What are you doing." Peter asked in confusion, watching as Wade put on the mask that he'd been wearing around Peter for almost the entirety of their friendship. 

"Putting on my mask..?" Wade asked, sounding just as confused as Peter gave him a weird look. 

"You wear your mask in your own house? Unless we're in somebody else's house- we better not be in somebody else's hou-"

"Chill, this is my apartment. As for the mask, I just figured now that you're awake you wouldn't exactly want to see.. you know." Wade said awkwardly, gesturing to himself in a weird manner. 

"Why? Are you insinuating that I'm a total prick and would force you to wear a mask because you have a few scars?" Peter asked coldly, offended Wade thought so poorly of him. "Unless you're insecure? I don't want to make you go out of your comfort zone or anything." Peter quickly amended, feeling like no matter what he said he'd be in the wrong. 

"No, I just- A lot of people get freaked out by the way I look." Wade admitted, taking off his mask again before slowly setting it on the coffee table. 

"A lot of people are dicks." Peter muttered, trying to sit up a little straighter only to give himself the worst migraine ever. 

"Why am I so damaged." Peter groaned, instinctively going to put a hand on his head, only to be stopped by the pain that brought him.

"You fell a long fluffin way down that skyscraper. It's a miracle you're even still alive." Wade murmured, helping Peter sit up straighter.

Peter wasn't sure he'd ever be able to go back to talking to a masked Wade ever again. There was the expressiveness of Wade's mask, and then there was how expressive Wade actually was. The prettiest shade of brown that Peter had ever seen resting in Wade's eyes.

"How long have I been out?" Peter asked, closing his eyes to help dull the headache. 

"I'd say it's been around a full 24 hours since you fell. I got in touch with Ned from your phone and told him to cover for you, so your Aunt shouldn't be too worried. I imagine Ned will come by soon though, I gave him the address about an hour or two ago I think." Wade said, checking his phone as he spoke.

"What all is wrong with me?" Peter asked worriedly, praying that he hadn't broken his spine or something, or somehow lost a leg. He hadn't exactly fully tested his regenerative abilities, but he was pretty sure he couldn't grow back a leg like Wade could. 

"From what I can tell, you've shattered a few bones, got shot in the shoulder and the head, scraped up your arm pretty bad, dislocated your shoulder, probably tore it too. Everything should probably be fixable with your healing ability, but I've patched you up the best I can anyway, just in case." Wade said, Peter really only focusing on one part of that.

"I was shot in the head?!" 

"Well, not really. You were shot by the head. Like the bullet grazed the side of your head, but didn't cause any brain damage or anything, at least I don't think." Wade said with a cheeky smile.

The bugger knew he was scaring the living daylights out of Peter. "I hate you so much sometimes." He groaned, closing his eyes for a moment to collect himself.

He wasn't going to die, he knew that much. He might be injured for a couple days, a week even, but he wasn't going to die from his injuries.

Despite Wade having the ability to live through any injury and have it magically fix itself, at one point Peter knew that Wade had been an ordinary mercenary who got shot at all the time, probably. Logically Wade should know what he was doing with a first aid kit. It was only logical.

"Are you done meditating or whatever it is you're doing?" Wade asked flatly, making Peter open his eyes just to glare at the merc.

"Where's my phone, I need to figure out what Ned told my Aunt before she calls me asking about whatever it is Ned decided to tell her." Peter muttered, taking his phone as Wade handed it to him.

He quickly opened the messages with Ned and stopped as he saw text messages that weren't his own.

Sent 01:47: you're Peter's best friend?

Received  01:48: who is this if its not peter.

Sent 01:48: do you know about that thing that peter does? that stark internship thing..? is that the code word you kids used for it?

Received  01:48: what have you done with my bestfriend. I will call tony stark, i swear i will.

Sent 01:48: woaaah, ned chill dude. this is wade, so pls dont call stark or im going to get in a whole lot of trouble with papa tin can. i need help.

Received  01:49: why do you need help? Where is peter? Is he hurt?

Sent 01:52: we were fighting some pretty nasty dudes and peter got thrown off a building and hit the ground pretty hard. im patching him up right now but he doesnt look so good and i know hes kinda protective of the aunt so im assuming she doesnt know about the SM thing so he might need a cover story. maybe drop by in a day or two. i think hes going to be asleep for a while.

Received  01:53: omgomgomg, is he going to be okay? And i dont know your address dude?

Sent 01:53: MJ knows it, ask her, i dont have time rn gtg.

Received  01:54: what?! Why does mj know your address?!?!?! I swear if you hurt peter than youre dead deadpool.

Received 02:20 me and mj are sorting everything out rn. The three of us went on a 'spontaneous road trip.' and should be home in about a week. Hopefully thats enough time for peter?

Sent  22:11: Hey, this is Peter, I just woke up.

Peter hit send and looked up to see Wade had apparently fallen asleep, leaning against the arm rest of Peter's couch.

"Wade..?" Peter asked cautiously, startling when Wade was suddenly awake, straightening up and giving Peter a curious look.

Peter really wanted to ask how Wade knew MJ, but looking at the mercenary right now...

"How much sleep have you gotten?" Peter asked worriedly, not gaining any comfort with the way Wade just shrugged.

"You should get some sleep somewhere that isn't the floor." Peter said quietly, watching as Wade rolled his eyes and went back to his armchair.

"You tell me if you need something, don't even dare try doing it yourself in that state." Wade demanded, Peter just nodding innocently and not at all planning to test just how broken his body currently was once Wade was asleep.

Received 22:16: oml peter are you okay?! Ive had to hang out at mj's place for the entire day because we're supposedly on a car trip.

Sent 22:17: im fine, and eh MJ's cant be that bad lol. Mj is pretty legit, although have you asked her how tf she knows wade yet???

Received 22:17 APPARENTLY, she had him threaten Flash when he was on the whole 'mj quest' thing.

Peter remembered the MJ phase Flash went through. It seemed like he was constantly trying to talk to her and bully her into liking him somehow. He'd tried to talk to Flash about it but the problem was that when Peter was the bullied nerd he wasn't exactly somebody who could just tell Flash to quit messing with MJ and have it mean anything, despite confronting Flash about it on multiple occasions.

However, one day it was just like the flip had been switched and Flash didn't even look at MJ and he was back to chasing other various girls.

Sent 22:18: that would actually explain a lot.

Received 22:18: ikr? So i guess they just stayed in contact or something.

Sent 22:19: idk whats weirder. MJ staying in contact with Wade, or MJ actively seeking out a mercenary for Flash.

Received 22:20: remind me never to piss off MJ.

Sent 22:20: agreed.

Received 22:21: now seriously dude, are you alright? Wade said you fell off a building but you are spiderman, how did u fall.

Sent 22:21: long story short, i went to manhattan, i tried to eavesdrop on deadpool, and then i was flung off the 432 park ave building by a water monster.

Received 22:21: 432 park ave. like the tall one?

Sent 22:22: yeah it wasnt good. I also got shot, like twice.

Received 22:23: me and MJ are on our way. Be there soon.

Sent 22:23: thanks.


Wade tried to sleep, he really did, but he ended up just thinking about everything that had happened instead.

The same scene of Peter getting shot and flung off that rooftop replaying over and over again in his head, the intense panic of watching him get thrown way too far, way too fast still sending echoes of panic-induced adrenaline through him.

[At least we got the skank that shot him.]

(she deeeead.)

Peter isn't going to like that.

[Doesn't matter, she deserved it for shooting Peter.]

(She was really bad.)

[She probably didn't have any information anyway.]

(They already told us their life story.)

[The real question is whether or not Evyn has enough brains to track Aiden down.]

(Aiden is at a safe house with Bob though and this is New York.)

Wade sighed, opening his eyes to instead stare at Peter who was trying to text someone, probably Ned, with his messed up arm. His head was angled in a way that gave him a double chin as he tried to look at his phone without raising his arms, eyes searching the screen tiredly.

Wade couldn't help the small smile that managed to make its way onto his face as Peter struggled to hit one of the keys on his phone, double-chin getting dangerously close to a triple-chin with the way he was trying to text. 

"I thought you said you were going to try and sleep." Peter asked, finally noticing him as he let his phone fall to rest on his chest, eyes half-lidded. 

Wade imagined that the painkillers were starting to kick in, and the urge to sleep and heal now that the painkillers were numbing the pain was probably overpowering his will to stay awake. Wade had purposefully got the strongest painkillers the store had to offer, courtesy of a terrified pharmacist. So Wade knew they should work for someone with Peter's abilities.

"I tried." Wade defended himself, Peter rolling his eyes before wincing, the action most likely physically hurting him. 

"Ned and MJ are coming over soon." Peter said, his eyes slowly starting to close. 

The pain had probably been one of the only things keeping the poor kid awake, that and most likely the panic of realising he was taking an unexpected 'vacation' from his daily life routine. 

"You take a break, I'll wait up for them." Wade assured, Peter just nodding minutely before slipping back into sleep. 

[He's so cute.]


[We probably should get some sleep soon though, we can't stay awake forever and we're already pushing the limits.]

(Eh, we still got a few hours left.)

[No, we really don't.]

(When MJ gets here then she can take a turn watching Peter. She's trustworthy.)

[MJ is awesome.]

Wade still remembered the day she walked straight into Hell House at the age of 15 and offered Wade 2K for Flash Thompson, which Wade politely declined. He didn't kill kids, he wasn't cruel like that. However, he did threaten the kid for her, free of charge.

They weren't necessarily friends, but Wade sometimes saw her around town every now and again, and her number was still in his phone for when he needed somebody to veg out on pizza and play video games with. She was the only one so far to beat him in Mario Kart.

Who was he kidding, they were friends, despite him constantly trying to convince her they weren't. He was somewhat okay with it now considering she was older, but when she was 16 and constantly trying to crash at his place for free food and video games he'd been a little hesitant. No kid needed to have a friend like Wade. That led to bad life choices in the future, and he'd definitely not wanted MJ turning into a school shooter or something with his bad influence. However, she'd turned out to be a pretty great kid. And an amazing friend.

He glanced over at Peter again, the kid looking small and at peace as he slept, completely unaware of the absolute turmoil and anxiety he'd put Wade through yesterday. He didn't think he'd ever be able to forget that feeling of terror when he couldn't find Peter's body, not knowing if the kid was even alive, or if he was just slowly bleeding out and Wade would be a second too late. 

Wade got up from his comfortable chair and walked into the kitchen to grab himself an energy drink. He was going to need it if he was going to have three teenagers staying over tonight. 


He immediately walked back into the living room, looking towards Peter who'd called him, his eyes hardly open now. 

"What?" Wade asked in confusion, not knowing what could wake the kid enough for him to even know what was going on right now. 

"What happened to Yvette?" He mumbled, making Wade's heartbeat speed up. 

Of course Peter would remember Yvette right now. He was Spider-man, the goody two shoes hero that every one of New York City adored. He was someone who wouldn't be able to live with stepping on an ant, let alone killing somebody.

And now Wade had put that on the kid's conscience because he knew for a fact that Peter was going to blame himself for Wade killing her. That was just how Peter operated, with all the guilt on himself.

"What do you mean?" Wade asked, feigning ignorance in hopes that in the few seconds of stalling Peter might fall asleep again.

"She's dead, isn't she." Peter asked, blinking up at Wade with those sad doe eyes that were absolutely killing him. 

[We shouldn't have to feel guilty about killing her, she was stupid for shooting Peter.]

(Yeah but Peter doesn't like murderers...)

[She was bad.]

(Not to Peter.)

[So? She was bad and she hurt Peter, it was our choice and we made it, not him. Why does he get to dictate who we do and don't kill.]

(Because we want in his pants.)

[That's just stupid.]

(You're stupid. Besides, you want in his pants too.)

[Yeah but I'm not letting that cloud my judgement on who should and shouldn't die!]

(Don't you usually want everyone dead?)

[Shut it.]

"She's dead."

"figures." Came the mumbled response followed up by one of the most horrific silences of Wade's life, where he didn't know if Peter had dropped off into sleep, or if he was purposefully giving  Wade the cold shoulder. 

We shouldn't have killed her, for Petey's sake.

Chapter Text



"I swear if you throw that re- YOU DICK!"

"Shhh, you'll wake Peter up."

"Peter is sleeping like the dead. He's fine, however, I AM NOT FINE."

"Ned, the cpu's are beating you."

"Shut up, MJ is creaming you."

"Well, you're doing worse than me, so, heh you suck."


Peter, opened his eyes tiredly, letting his brain reboot and try to figure out where he was and who was in the same room as him, shutting them again to let the painful feeling of moving go away.

MJ and Ned were here, and he was pretty sure he heard Wade, but there was one voice he wasn't totally recognising. 

He slowly opened his eyes again, trying to take in the bright surroundings while dealing with the extreme soreness that was his entire body.

He could move a little better, unlike the last time he'd been awake, and his shoulder and head didn't sting as bad, but he definitely still wasn't better.

Peter used his good arm to help himself sit up, looking around the room to try and spot where his friends actually were.

"Woaah, slow down there cowgirl. Don't want to re-damage anything." Wade said, at Peter's side the second that Peter had even seen the other human beings in the room.

He could see Ned and MJ there, with MJ in the armchair and Ned on the other couch sitting next to...?

He had light brownish hair that was kind of swooped upwards in the front. He was kind of tanned, although Peter couldn't tell if that was just his natural skin colour or if he really was just tanned.

But who on earth was he and why was he there sitting next to Ned? And if he was here he must know that Peter was Spider-man right? Was he trustworthy? Did he know? Was he a friend of Wade's? Ned's? MJ's? 

Wade saw his obvious confusion and quickly jumped in.

"That's Phillip. He's kind of like my roommate, but not really since he's hardly ever here." Wade clarified, the lack of Wade's mask enough of a sign for Peter to know that the Phillip guy was trustworthy enough to Wade, and with the look Wade was giving him, and the lack of a look he was getting from the Phillip, it seemed like the guy was fairly used to this kind of thing from living with Wade.

"I fall off a skyscraper and you're already throwing house parties." Peter joked quietly, his voice sounding rough and tired even to his own ears. 

"How long was I out?" He muttered, noting that the room was in fact covered in sunlight.

"Well, you went flying Friday night, or maybe early early Saturday morning, and now it's Sunday. Make sense?" Wade asked, Peter just staring at Wade.

"I'm going to take that as a no. You were asleep pretty much all of Saturday, last time you were awake was maybe late Saturday night. So if we go by that, then you've been asleep probably 11 or 10 hours." Wade said happily, Peter blinking in response.

"He doesn't have brain damage or anything right? Because I honestly can't tell if he got hit in the head, or if he's just being his normal self." MJ said, smiling when Peter shot her an unimpressed glare.

"Stay put, I'mma go get some new bandages for all the issues you've got going on." Wade said, handing his Wii controller to Peter.

"Dude, you look like you just got back from a war or something." Ned commented in awe, Peter furrowing his eyebrows in mild confusion.

"I only fell off a freakishly tall building, Ned, there were no wars invovled." Peter amended, not exactly sure how to take that or how to talk around the Phillip guy. Ned and MJ seemed to trust him, and Wade obviously trusted him enough to sleep in the same building as the guy, so he must be a pretty alright dude. 

"All things considered, I'd say you look pretty good." Phillip added, Peter turning to look at the guy again, wondering just how this guy had happened to become Wade's roommate. Did rooming with Wade make him crazy by default?

He dressed kind of classy, or at least more classy than everyone else here, who were mostly sporting sweatpants and hoodies, and then Peter, who was just in boxers. So, classy by those standards.

He looked kind of like a fancy Zac Efron. And knowing Wade, he honestly wouldn't be surprised if the guy actually was Efron.

Huh, at what point had Peter started just 'knowing Wade?' Was that a new thing? Was that a new 'I fell off a building' thing? Or was it just an 'I fell off a building' realisation.

Had he mentioned he fell off a building?

"So the wingsuit and the parachute function should remain a thing for the new suit then." Ned stated, Peter nodding before the words were even fully out of Ned's mouth. 

"I am never forgetting to reinstall the parachute ever again." Peter said seriously, thinking of just how much trouble it could have saved him. 

"Stay still." Wade said, startling Peter as he carefully started unwrapping the bandage around Peter's head that he hadn't even been aware of. 

He gave a small hiss of pain when Wade finally got it off, wondering just how badly the bullet had grazed him. Obviously, enough for a bandage, but just how bad was it? Was he going to have a scar? Was it noticeable enough that Aunt May was going to ask about it when he got home?

"Is there going to be a scar?" Peter asked quietly, thankful that everyone had gone back to their round of Mario Kart. 

"Mmm, I suppose it might, but at this point, I'd doubt it. If it does scar I don't think it'll stick around." Wade said, carefully wrapping a fresh bandage around Peter's head, carefully avoiding getting Peter's hair too caught up in it. 

"My Aunt is going to kill me if I come home with a scar. She already thinks I'm involved in some sort of fight club." Peter muttered, earning a surprised laugh out of Wade. 

"You are just so..." Wade trailed off, pausing what he was doing to think, Peter blinking up at him in bewilderment. 

"Innocent? Childish? Young?" Peter offered bitterly, thinking if he was Wade that's certainly where his mind would go. He was a total kid compared to some of the other heroes of New York. You always heard things about Daredevil, The Punisher, Luke Cage, so many big names that were fighting real threats, taking bullets all the time, nearly dying, and then there was just Peter.

"No, more like, good, or righteous, or worthy. Like if you tried to pick up Thor's hammer I bet you could." Wade finished, seeming satisfied with the bandage around Peter's head and moving on to unwrap the bandage that Peter's shoulder was wrapped with. 

"Didn't Thor break his hammer?" Peter questioned, thinking he'd heard Stark say something along those lines before. 

"That doesn't matter, Doctor Strangerbatch could probably fix that thing. Or they go reforge it in Agardia or wherever." Wade waved off, Peter keeping his gaze focused on the Mario Kart game and not his own shoulder, not too keen on seeing where there had been a bullet embedded in his skin.

"Didn't Asgard explode?"

"Shhhh, you don't have to be a know-it-all when it comes to everything I say, just take the duckin' compliment." Wade chided, gently moving Peter's arm so that he could properly wrap it, making Peter clench his teeth at the pain.

"Stop being such a baby, you're going to be fiiiine." Wade said, Peter shooting him a disgruntled look.

"Alright love birds, you planning on playing with us or nah?" MJ asked, Making Peter turned to look at her despite the pain, trying to convey that she really shouldn't encourage the merc's unhealthy obsession with Peter and his ass. 

"We're just friends." Peter stated, Wade rolling his eyes, which Peter saw thank you very much.

"Just friends." Peter muttered again, sitting up a little straighter to prop himself on the armrest of the couch. 

His leg and shoulder seriously still hurt, and he couldn't move it without feeling immense pain, but it felt like the rest of his body was starting to recover. The sleep he'd gotten before really had helped, and despite the soreness, it felt like his arm was a little better as well. 

"Whatever you say dude." Ned chirped, happily joining in with MJ. Peter missed the days when Ned was his most loyal friend. Now, Ned was easily swayed by the ever evil influencing MJ and her snarky and sarcastic ways.

"Shhh, Petey doesn't want to tell you about our secret relationship." Wade said with a grin, taking his controller back from Peter and rejoining the match, now in very last place.

"We have no secret relationship. We are friends, that's it." Peter sighed, shifting a little to accommodate the merc when Wade sat in front of Peter's couch on the floor, his back to Peter as he stared at the tv.

"Special friends." MJ suggested cheekily, Phillip snorting and shaking his head in amusement at her.

"Petey-pie, play for me while I go get you something to eat." Wade said suddenly, handing Peter his controller again before jumping up to go to what Peter presumed was the kitchen.

He couldn't exactly figure out what was what from his spot on the couch. But with the kitchen behind the couch and out of his line of sight,  sound still carried easily enough. He was presuming the apartment had a fairly open layout.

"Why do you play with Waluigi?!" Peter called, hating how the heavier character took corners so horribly.

"You're just mad because you probably play with Toad!" Wade called back, Peter not at all resenting that. He played with Yoshi thank you very much.

"Forget dating, you guys skipped straight to marriage." Ned giggled, MJ following not soon after.

"We're just friends." Peter insisted again, hearing the defeat in his own voice from fighting a battle he wasn't going to win, at least not with these two.

Peter turned to look at his phone as it started ringing, alerting him that it was either one of two things: Aunt May calling to check in with him, or Tony Stark noticing the tracker in his suit was at a location that wasn't, in fact, his own house and had been for the past two days.

Peter let out a shaky sigh as he checked the caller ID and realised it was definitely the latter.

"Hey! Mr. Stark" Peter answered cheerfully, shooting a just slightly panicked look at MJ and Ned as he tried to come up with a believable lie as to why his suit would be somewhere else, while still keeping up the lie of them being on vacation. 

"Yeah hey. Mind explaining to me what's going on with the tracker in the suit? Because last I checked you hadn't moved out of Queens." Stark said sarcastically, which didn't seem quite right to Peter. 

Stark didn't know anything yet, but he was acting like he already knew that Peter had done something he deemed distrustful. 

"Me, MJ and Ned are on a road trip, I left the suit with my friend Phillip just in case Aunt May saw it." Peter said, giving Phillip a 'that cool with you?' look and receiving a thumbs up.

"Hi Mr. Stark!" Ned called, Peter smiling at him appreciatively.

"Ned says hi." Peter said, fairly confident his lie didn't have any holes in it. After all, he could consider Phillip a friend probably, he seemed cool, and it was a fairly logical reason for the suit to be at 'Phillip's place'. Not to mention Stark didn't know MJ knew, so he could always say he left it behind so she wouldn't find out either. It was a perfect lie. 

"Is that so?" Stark asked, Peter getting that prickly sensation that let him know something was off. Something wasn't right here.

"Yeah? I mean, I don't exactly know how to prove it to you, do you want a picture? I can text you one?" Peter asked, desperately hoping that Stark didn't call his bluff. 

 Wade quietly handed him a bowl of oatmeal, Peter nodding in thanks and taking it from him with his good hand, carefully balancing his smartphone on his bad shoulder and the couch before Wade just rolled his eyes and held the phone for him. 

"So the fact that your tracker is telling me that you're currently at Wade f*&%ing Wilson's apartment doesn't mean anything to you?" Stark asked, making Peter pale considerably. 

"Weeellll, yeah, I mean, Phillip is roommates with Wade? Real nice guy, Wade. Although how do you- how you know him?" Peter stammered, knowing he was flailing now, dead in the water, he had dug his own grave.

"So if I open this door I'm not going to see you getting cosy with the serial killer I told you not to get cosy with?" Stark asked with faux civility, his voice gaining that almost freaky tone that let Peter know he was in deep deep trouble. 

"What door?" Peter asked weakly, hearing a door down the hall sounding like it was opened rather forcefully.

Peter quickly placed the bowl of oatmeal on his lap, grabbing the phone and ending the call. 

"Best behaviour." Peter managed to tell Wade seriously, right before Iron Man-- not Tony Stark-- walked into the room.

"Roadtrip huh?" Stark asked, stepping out of the suit with a scowl on his face.

Wade pulled katanas from out of seemingly nowhere, stepping in front of Peter protectively, glaring at Stark in a way that stated he wasn't messing around. 

Phillip, Ned and MJ all huddled on the small couch, looking like they were very much out of place in the current situation. 

"Wade, put the swords down." Peter said forcefully, trying to get off the couch and keep the two men from killing each other, only somewhat succeeding before his leg prevented him from moving any further.

Wade hesitated for a couple of seconds before throwing them towards a corner of the room with a small pile of weapons in it that Peter hadn't noticed before.

"Lay down, we need that to heal." Wade muttered, gently pressing Peter back onto the couch, Stark looking rather shocked behind him. 

"You're hurt? Why didn't you get actual medical attention, or call me? Peter you're supposed to call me if something like this happens." Tony said in agitation, stepping forward before he was blocked by Wade. 

"We need to talk." Wade said firmly, crossing his arms over his chest while Peter went to protest that he should be apart of this conversation as well. 

"Shut up and eat your oatmeal." Wade admonished, giving him a look that spoke volumes before grabbing Stark and practically dragging him towards the hallway he had come from, out of the apartment and away from the four people left inside. 

"You guys have very interesting lives." Phillip acknowledged, Peter groaning in response.  

The four of them went back to playing Mario Kart for a while, the room a lot quieter without MJ and Wade trash talking each other. 

The whole time they were playing Peter had his mind elsewhere, taking up last place nearly every game they played. He just didn't know what Wade would want to talk about. It would be one thing for Stark to say that they needed to talk, but it had been Wade who had pulled Stark aside. 

So what exactly was Wade wanting to talk about? Was it the Evyn Egerton issue? Was it about Yvette? The mercenary business? Was he going to set Stark off and get kicked out of New York, despite Peter's request? 

The number of times Peter debated just saying 'screw it' and trying to get up and walk out the door was genuinely worrying, and it was getting to the point where he was thinking he might just do it if nobody was there to stop him. 

Could Stark really kick Wade out of the city? Surely not? You couldn't just kick someone out of the city. Unless he got the government involved, or S.H.I.E.L.D, or killed Wade and then dropped his body in Canada or something.

Eventually, he had to tell himself to just focus on the game and stop worrying (he didn't actually, but an effort was made.)

When Wade and Stark came back into the room Peter felt like someone had just died, and to be honest Peter wouldn't have been surprised if Wade had died during that talk, Stark just had to get mad enough. 

"So...?" Peter asked, not sure exactly what was going on. He hated not knowing. He didn't like the way Stark seemed to think he owned Peter's life either, and if Stark thought he was going to get Wade to leave Peter alone then he had another thing coming because Peter could be just as persistent and annoying as Wade could.

Nobody would dictate who Peter could and couldn't be friends with. 

"Stop glaring at me like that, we came to an agreement." Stark said, not looking to be exactly happy about coming to the said agreement.

"I don't kill people and I get to hang out with you." Wade said simply, taking the now empty bowl of oatmeal and walking towards the kitchen with it.

"But you did that anyway." Peter stated in confusion, suppressing the thought of what happened to Yvette. He didn't want to think about that quite yet, not when the memory of her was paired with the pain from fresh wounds. 

"Shhhh, let him think he's winning." Wade stage-whispered, Stark scowling again. 

"Next time you get injured you call me, not the psychopath." Stark sighed, Peter able to see through the heavy defensiveness for just a split-second, but enough of a split-second to see just how worried Tony was. 

"I'll try my best to not get injured like this on a daily basis." Peter reassured sarcastically, grinning when Tony ruffled his hair in retaliation, careful not to touch anywhere near his head injury.

"Just be more careful. Especially now, please." Stark said, giving Peter a look that let him know that Stark was at least trying to let Peter live his life on his own. He knew the older man was probably just having a hard time letting his rookie hero go and Peter could respect that, but if there was one thing he'd fight to have, it was his friends.

"I will." Peter assured, meaning it as well. In a roundabout way, Peter had taken Wade on as his own responsibility. He was now the example and guide to Wade, and he'd have to show that he was worthy of doing that without being swayed. 

Uncle Ben had told him once that it was far easier to be swayed by evil than it was to be swayed by good, and Peter was going to have to demonstrate that he could handle a responsibility like this; responsibility to be the good for someone else when they themselves couldn't see it sometimes.

"Then I'll leave you to it." Stark said with obvious hesitation in his voice, Peter recognising this as a silent way of him saying he trusted him and that, more than anything, meant the world to Peter. This was the acceptance that Peter had been looking for all this time, and it had only taken falling 1400' to get it.

Maybe this was what Peter needed. Maybe this was Wade needed. 

Maybe all they really needed was some trust.

Chapter Text



It had been decided that since Wade was the one who knew how medical stuff worked, and since it would be a general hassle to actually move Peter, he would be staying with Wade for the next few days while Ned crashed at MJ's place while her parents were out of town.

This was fine with Peter, considering he still felt just a tiny bit awkward around MJ. However, being stuck on the same exact couch in Wade's apartment was absolute torture.

Because as much as Peter enjoyed binge-watching Netflix shows with Wade and playing numerous console games with MJ and Ned (and sometimes Phillip) there was definitely a downside to being immobile and completely couch-bound. 

For one, getting to and from the bathroom was just about the most embarrassing thing ever the very first day because he couldn't actually handle the crutches Wade had gotten him, at least not with his arm still wrecked. Not to mention all the annoyances that came with not being able to get anything by himself. 

He wanted the remote? Wade. He wanted food? Water? A blanket? Wade. Eventually, he managed to convince Wade to let him have his web shooters for grabbing small things, like if he accidentally dropped his phone on the ground and couldn't reach it. But food and water? He couldn't do anything and Peter felt completely helpless most days.

The second day of being couch-bound was a bit better, with his arm finally healed enough for the crutches, and Wade making him celebratory pancakes that they ate while finishing the second season of Stranger Things.

Of course, there was still some restlessness, and Peter had to apologise a couple times when his temper got the best of him, making him feel like a complete jerk on multiple occasions. But at the end of the day, Peter felt like he and Wade were starting to read on the same page. Not the same words, or even paragraph, but they were on the same page. 

Day three and four had Peter ready to jump off another building just to end it. 

He'd been arguing with Wade about trying to walk without the crutches all day with no avail, the wifi was being slow for seemingly no reason and being cooped up in the apartment had left both of them feeling antsy and agitated. Wade had left about halfway through the day to go check on Aiden and see what he could find on Evyn's location, although Peter was pretty sure Wade just wanted a break from the arguing, so Peter was now guilty, lonely and bored. 

Overall, it was just a crappy day.

Now, it was 5 in the afternoon on a Wednesday and all he'd accomplished was another season of The Walking Dead. 

Peter sighed, glancing at the time on his phone, wondering when Wade was going to get back. He'd said he'd pick up some take out on the way back, and he'd already been gone 5 hours. How long did it take to get info on one guy? 

Peter used the Xbox controller to scroll through the different shows, not really planning on watching anything else, just browsing. After watching so much pointless tv already he wasn't really in the mood for any more of it. 

Wade had said he could play any of the games in the pile in front of the tv, but Peter didn't exactly want to end up messing up Wade's progress or something so he'd stayed away so far. Not to mention he wasn't the best with video games after the spider bite. All it took was one annoying AI or frustrating level and he was accidentally breaking controllers left and right (Explaining to Aunt May how he'd managed to rip his Xbox controller in half had not been fun.)

However, if Wade didn't get back soon then he was going to go all neglected cat and purposefully sabotage Wade's stuff. 

Belatedly he acknowledged he'd probably feel too guilty afterwards to actually go through with it, but the intent to do it was still there.

Peter sighed and checked his phone again, bored out of his mind.

Should he just take a nap? At this point, it would be kind of pointless since it was already so late in the afternoon, but what else was he going to do?

He tugged at his web shooters, wishing he'd thought to ask Ned to bring him his toolkit when he'd brought him clothes. Maybe then at least he could work on modding his web shooters. Or even making entirely new ones. Anything to keep him busy.

He supposed he could get a notebook and a pencil and just start brainstorming improvement plans, but to be honest he didn't really feel like thinking for once.

What was up with him lately?

With him trusting killers with his life, fighting guys way above what he was used to, lying to Aunt May and Stark, working on suits behind Stark's back, the list could go on. And he was just okay with this? Okay with all the double-life lies he was having to create because of one guy?

He had to acknowledge the fact that he actually was. He was completely okay with it so long as it kept working. If he could have all his friends and all his family and role models be happy with him, then why stop? The Stark problem was fixed, Aunt May had mostly accepted Wade, and last but not least, he had Wade as one of his best friends. Which was sort of weird, but not an uncomfortable kind of weird.

He wondered when it would all catch up with him and turn into some sort of snowball. Because that was always how these things ended, with Peter wishing he'd never lied to anyone in the first place. 

Peter smiled a little when he realised that so far it had been Wade to keep him mostly balanced. It had been Wade who insisted on walking him to the door and 'accidentally' meeting Aunt May, and Wade had been the one to take Stark aside and talk to him with whatever he'd said to calm the man. In the end, it was Wade who untangled all of Peter's lies. 

Peter stared up at the strange white ceiling that seemed far too pristine and clean to be the infamous Deadpool's. Surely there should be some kind of mysterious stain or mark there, maybe a shuriken embedded in the plaster.

He bit his lip, an odd sort of plan starting to form in his mind.

He was Spider-man, the hero who climbed walls and was known for his great strength and flexibility, someone who was constantly sneaking into his own room via the ceiling. Why not here too?

Peter shot a web that easily stuck to the ceiling, allowing Peter to hoist himself up purely from upper body strength. Thankfully his arm had healed fully now, otherwise, this most likely would've gone south very quickly.

Slowly he moved his hold from the strand of web to the actual ceiling, letting his legs dangle below him so as to not put any weight on the leg still healing and in a brace. It was kind of awkward just hanging by his fingertips, like a sheet pinned up to dry, or a swinging monkey.

He didn't usually travel this way, as keeping his legs drawn up and actually planted on the ceiling was not only faster but stealthier, however, he did find this way a little more enjoyable.

It took him back to when he was a wimpy little kid who could only get to the first or second bar on the monkey bars, still too small to get anywhere so he'd just let himself hang there and occasionally try and swing himself. 

But now, Peter easily manoeuvred himself into the kitchen, opening the fridge to look for the bag of string cheese Wade had bought the other day. when he'd gone out for groceries.  

"So, do you want Chinese or no..?"

Peter startled so bad he nearly fell off the ceiling, instead trying to quickly bring up his legs before painfully realising that wasn't possible with his injured leg, the pain making him lose his grip till he was hanging upside down with his good foot still attached to the ceiling and his bad foot just remaining stiffly next to it so it looked as though he was standing upside down on the ceiling.

"I wasn't sure when you'd be getting back." Peter clarified, silently wondering why his spidey senses never picked up on the freakin murdering psychopath who always managed to get the jump on him.

"Mhmm, so you went all mission impossible to get to the fridge?" Wade asked, sounding like he wasn't fully immersed in this conversation.

"I was just seeing if it was easier than the crutches." Peter mumbled in defence, crossing his arms awkwardly over his chest in order to keep his shirt down (up?) as he stared at Wade, trying to figure out why the man suddenly seemed so far off.

"Y'know, if my sources are correct, you haven't done the Spider-man kiss in this universe yet." Wade informed him, throwing Peter off for a second.

This universe? Spider-man kiss? Wade had sources about Peter's kissing history?

No matter how long Peter hung around Wade, the merc always managed to surprise him with some weird sentence or other that Peter was never actually sure if he wanted to know about. Most the time if Peter asked then it would just end up being some super gory and action-packed story, or something Wade clearly made up but insisted was real. 

He was never actually sure if Wade believed the craziness that came out of his own mouth or not. The details he could come up with were quite impressive, but Peter wasn't gullible enough to believe stuff like ' I once wielded Thor's hammer' and 'I have a car that can drive up walls.'

Peter forgot how to breathe as Wade stepped closer, way too far into Peter's personal bubble. Although, he didn't make a move to preserve that space bubble either, and Wade didn't seem like he was moving out of it anytime soon.

Peter wondered if Wade was actually going to kiss him. He'd never had Wade this close to him before, and he had just mentioned something called a Spider-man kiss, whatever that meant. Idly Peter wondered what would happen if Wade did kiss him.

"What are you doing." Peter asked curiously, unsure as to what exactly was going to happen next in this odd predicament. 

He knew Wade had a crush on Spider-man, and maybe a little crush on Peter as a side effect, but he hadn't really flirted with Peter like this before, although, to be fair he hadn't flirted like this with Spider-man either. Peter hadn't really taken the flirting seriously before because it was just a silly thing Wade did for jokes, it wasn't actual attraction.

Because naturally Wade just crushed on everybody, right? He was Deadpool, he had Cable, Wolverine and, of course, all the chicks that probably dug mercenaries with boatloads of cash. Peter knew for a fact they existed. Spider-man wasn't any different than Cable or Wolverine. He'd heard Wade talk about Logan before with the same Spider-man crush tone of voice.

So why was this happening right now? Was it because Wade thought Peter was easy? Easier than Cable or Wolverine? He'd heard Ned call him easy before because he didn't know how to say no. But Wade wouldn't do that, right? Wade wouldn't try to make this something it wasn't and then just throw Peter away. He didn't want to be somebody's throw away.

"What's a Spider-man kiss and why are you talking like there are multiple universes." Peter said, tilting his head up-- or err, down--, trying to act like this was just an everyday occurrence for Wade to be so close.

I'm not intimidated.

"Well you see, baby boy, there was this famous kiss that you did upside down in another universe and it got really super famous. Upside down kisses were renamed spider-man kisses and everything because of it." Wade said happily, leaning a little closer and making Peter lean a little further away.

"And the universes? How do you know there are other universes?" Peter demanded, pretty sure Wade was just making stuff up now.

"I've been to several, saved the day a couple of times, all very important stuff. But I'm sure you'll find out about all that stuff in the future." Wade assured, Peter not exactly liking that Wade had these annoyingly tall ceilings that put them at just the right height for them to be face to face like this.

Knowing Wade he probably had future vision and seen this exact day long ago and specifically had the people build the building to make the ceilings exactly this height just for this occasion.

"That makes no sense. And kissing upside down just seems too complicated. Why would my other-universe-self try something like that." Peter told him honestly, furrowing his eyebrows at the thought of how that would even work.

"Maybe you should kiss me and find out?" Wade suggested, waggling his eyebrows in a way that Peter couldn't help but smile at, the whole action seeming 10x more funny from his position on the ceiling.

What if I did kiss him right now?

The thought was so abrupt and sudden that he wasn't even sure it was his. It was like somebody else entirely had thought it, but the only one he could blame for it was himself.

Why would he ever kiss Wade? They were friends, not whatever it was that kissing would imply. Kissing Wade would be like kissing... He couldn't say brother, because they weren't really brother-like in Peter's head. Peter and Ned were like brothers,  Peter liked to consider MJ as a cool older sister, so the fictional family tree was already pretty full here, and despite the fact he considered Wade a good friend, they weren't at the brothers level like he and Ned were.

So what was Wade?

Just a good friend? They felt like more than that though, after all, Wade had saved his life on two occasions now if Peter was to count the whole falling off a building incident.

Was that not brotherly enough? What made him and Ned bros? Was there some sort of criteria or system to this that Peter wasn't noticing? Did it have to be a mutual brother agreement? But he'd heard of guys getting brother-zoned by chicks all the time. Theoretically, would Peter be the chick in this scenario? Did it matter? Had he brother-zoned Ned?

Peter completely short-circuited when Wade gently pressed his lips to Peter's, pulling away not even a second later with an exaggerated 'mwa' sound that reminded Peter of Ned's grandma in a weird way.

"Don't ever make that sound again." Was the first thing to come out of Peter's mouth, his brain still trying to process what had just happened.

He'd just been kissed by Wade frickin Wilson.

Tony Stark was going to have an aneurysm.

"So I have permission to kiss you again?" Wade asked incredulously, Peter surprised at how surprised Wade was, which yeah, he'd probably be really confused if he was Wade too.

"No- I just meant-- shit."

"Woah hoh hoh, this is a no-cursing fic mister, watch yo profanity." Wade chirped, sounding way too happy about all of this and leaving Peter more confused and vividly red than ever.

No cursing? Fic? Deadpool not cursing?

Peter couldn't help but feel like he wasn't panicking like he was supposed to be. Wade had just kissed him, just a little kiss, more a peck, but it was still a kiss, and Peter should most definitely be freaking out.

He felt like he was freaking out more about not freaking out than he was about actually being kissed by Deadpool.

Which, wow, he'd just been kissed by Deadpool, by Wade. And he hadn't really hated it? He couldn't think straight, and being upside down right now with all the blood rushing to his head definitely wasn't helping. 

"Watching you think is making me physically exhausted, for the love of Chinese cuisine, please stop." Wade demanded sarcastically, holding out a Chinese food container to Peter before taking it out of his reach again when he went to grab it.

"Off the ceiling first, bug boy." Wade stated, Peter rolling his eyes, trying to get his fingers back on the ceiling again without falling. "Spiders are arachnids." He mumbled, earning an amused snort from Wade.

"But in all seriousness, no kissing me unless I give you permission." Peter decided, painfully plopping himself back down onto his couch with a slight flinch at the pain it brought his leg.

If Peter was being honest, he didn't really know why he'd added the last part, but if he really seriously thought about Wade kissing him, he wasn't repulsed by it. Which was probably- no, definitely weird. Way too weird. Beyond weird. Maybe he was actually ill? Should he go to a hospital? Walk-in care centre at least, surely.

"It was hardly a real kis- Wait unless you give m-" Before Wade could finish what he was saying he started choking on his fried rice, Peter wondering if Wade had died from inhaling food before. It honestly wouldn't surprise him. 

"What do you mean permission?" Wade asked incredulously, now that he wasn't choking on rice.

"Well, obviously I don't want you just kissing me without my con-"

"No I got that part, I meant why on earth are you- You'd be okay with me kissing you again? Like seriously?" Wade asked, both eyebrows raised in surprise.

To be honest, Peter was just about as confused as Wade was in this whole situation. He didn't know why he was okay with this or why he wasn't trying to storm out of this apartment building right now.

The only logical explanation he was coming up with was that he liked Wade back, but that seemed too farfetched for a logical explanation. Yet, it was the only one he could think of, and if he thought back to all the moments he had and Wade had shared, he was starting to see that maybe the idea wasn't as farfetched as it seemed. 

He liked Wade, as a friend anyway. Wade was funny, generally a good person, kind, and no matter what Wade said, Peter didn't think he was all that bad looking, scars or not. The fact Peter couldn't accidentally kill him was a bonus too. 

But did he like Wade?

He was starting to come to the conclusion that he wouldn't mind liking Wade. In fact, the more he thought about it the more points came to mind as to why Wade was everything Peter had been looking for.

He'd always wanted a funny and smart girl, someone who could easily match him and understand him humour-wise, and someone who could hold his interest and wasn't just your everyday average high school beauty queen who probably cared less about Peter and more about her eyebrows being on fleek. They had to be kind and considerate but also knew how to take a joke. Liz had been smart, kind and beautiful, she had been the gold standard of what he wanted from his future significant other. 

But did Wade Wilson meet that standard?

Wade was funny and definitely had a sense of humour, more so than Peter even. And he was observant, skilled, and smart. Maybe not exactly the same kind of smarts Peter had, but that's what made Wade interesting and new. He held Peter's attention like nobody's business and cared enough about him to search rooftop after rooftop after Peter fell off that stupid building and broke himself. And if Peter was being honest, Wade's moral compass wasn't that far gone, even with the killing people and stuff. He was a mercenary who actually cared, a mercenary who cared enough to threaten MJ's high school bully for free and a mercenary who was willing to give up his entire skillset and business just to hang out with Peter.

Well shit. 

"I don't know, I really don't know." Peter said weakly, feeling more confused and flustered as each realisation hit him. He needed more time to think about this before he said something that might hurt himself in the future. He needed time to properly think all of this through, and possibly an MJ to tell him if he was being stupid or not.

The real question here was should he really be preparing himself for the whole what if scenario of actually wanting to be more than friends with an ex-ish-mercenary? Could he handle being in a relationship like that?

This couldn't possibly work out in any universe. There was just no way, right? Deadpool and Spider-Man were two very different people with two very different ways of doing things. There was just no possible way.

But 'Wade' and 'Peter' could binge watch shows and talk for hours like they'd been doing it their entire lives.

The random voice thoughts had to go. There needed to be a designated person to drag them outside and shoot them, otherwise, Peter's life was going to go into a total tailspin. He was already starting to feel like he was inside an angry tornado that had no intentions of letting him escape, getting hit with debris-like thoughts over and over, further confusing him and his sense of direction. 

"...Peter I'm not pressuring you, am I? With the whole flirting thing, and I mean- I just kissed you. You're not feeling bullied into-"

"No! God no! Wade, I'm just not really saying no because maybe I do like you, maybe I don't- I just don't kn- It's confusing and complicated and I can't just- I can't give you a straight answer because I- I honestly don't know." Peter stammered, hating himself for being such a jerk. He was leading Wade on, he knew he was, and it was cruel because he really just wasn't sure right now with all these thoughts, but what else was he supposed to say? No? And friend-zone himself before he was even sure what he wanted?

He needed more time to think about this, more time to process everything that was surging through his brain like a natural disaster. He was a natural disaster.

"Can you give me a gay answer? Straight answers weren't really my thing anyways." Wade replied easily, lightening the tension in the room and making Peter groan in annoyance, his brain jump starting at the thought of sexuality and the crisis that was going to be to think about. Oh, how supposedly straight he thought he'd been, although he'd always been a strong supporter of being yourself, and he'd never really cared about which gender he liked in the past, he hadn't ever really been all that straight in the first place. I mean, have you seen Dylan O'Brie- FOCUS PETER.

"Let's just please not talk about this anymore." Peter decided with a sigh, happily taking the sweet and sour chicken and the pair of chopsticks that Wade passed him, diverting all of his attention to it and wielding the chopsticks like it was some temperamental science experiment and not just chicken.

"Mmm, but there are so many jokes to be made about your crazy hormonal teenager feelings." Wade snickered, earning a glare from Peter.

"'M nah a teen, 'm ah legahl adult." Peter struggled to protest, mouth already full of several pieces of chicken.

"Legal adult who can't drink and is just barely not jailbait." Wade returned, pointing his chopsticks accusingly at Peter as he said it.

"I could drink in England and Mexico, and stop referring to me as jailbait, it's weird, especially since you just kissed me." Peter retorted, emphasizing his words with his chopsticks as well.

"You English folk and your drinking. Us Americans are far more responsible and have a much more mature and lawful drinking age." Wade said sarcastically, starting to over-empathise with his chopsticks, a piece of rice flying across the room in a brave escape.

"Okay, first of all, you aren't American, you're CANADIAN. And second of all, I AM NOT BRITISH." Peter pointed out, beyond the point of confused about the British jokes. And 18 wasn't that bad of a drinking age, it wasn't 12 or something.

"I know right? And he doesn't even know. So cute." Wade said suddenly, Peter wishing he knew what the voices were saying about him this time.

"I'm not cute and I'm not British." Peter huffed, stuffing more chicken in his mouth to have an excuse as to not talk.

"England and Britain are different, but I'll cut you some slack on your home country. Now, what are we binge watching tonight spidey-babe?" Wade said, grabbing the Xbox controller off the arm of Peter's couch before flopping onto the other couch.

"Something less traumatising than The Walking Dead." Peter replied, happily accepting the subject change.

The kiss stayed at the back of Peter's mind, along with the issue of Yvette and Evyn, and whatever Tony Stark and Wade talked about, all of it lost among the things that Peter wasn't ready to think about just quite yet.

But it was getting more difficult to avoid it the longer he sat next to Wade while back and forth bantering about Mythbusters episodes.

I can't just procrastinate this one forever.

Chapter Text



Despite his leg pretty much being fully healed by the fifth day, nobody actually said anything about him staying at Wade's instead of switching his residence to being with MJ and Ned. He felt like a bad friend for staying with Wade instead of staying with them, but nobody was denying the fact that Wade had about 10x as many consoles as MJ did and several different tv and movie streaming services that went to infinity and beyond Netflix.

So when it really came down to it, Peter just ended up inviting MJ and Ned over more often than not, which Wade was completely fine with, so long as he got to join in as player 4 whenever Phillip wasn't taking the position.

"See, if this piece is even just slightly loose then the cartridge could explode," Peter said, his web shooters under the large handsfree magnifying glass that he and Ned had pooled their money together to buy last year.

Ned had brought it, along with his toolbox which wasn't as impressive as Peter's, but still had most the tools capable of tinkering with the web shooters.

"Okay, but then if we can't touch that piece then where are we supposed to add this?" Ned asked, holding up the tiny USB-like drive with the tweezers.

They'd been trying to figure out how to add in some new web shooter combos that Ned had thought of that would be extremely helpful with the suit's capabilities, but actually finding a way to add something to the actual web shooters themselves was a little more difficult than just programming the suit.

When Peter had originally built the web shooters his sole intention had been for them to shoot webs, not be able to generate grenades and have tasers built into them and all that. So saying that it was difficult to upgrade them was a large understatement.

"I still think we should just make new ones." Ned grumbled, examining the metal lining around the actual cartridge holder.

"Making web shooters like the ones you want would probably cost more than the entire apartment building that I live in." Peter reminded him with a sigh, having heard this conversation a thousand times already.

Ned wanted to equip the web shooters with more than just webs, kind of like things like the little tracker bugs Peter could shoot, but more than that. He wanted to be able to add more technical stuff to them, more than there already was, and he had even been obsessed with one day making them out of vibranium. Honestly, why would Peter need vibranium web shooters? He wasn't Wonder Woman.

"Why not just ask Wade for the cash? He'd probably help us since he's like like a billionaire or something, he could easily help us" Ned muttered, triggering the small latch that kept the two halves of the web shooters together so that he could see more of the inside.

"Ned I'm not just going to take complete advantage of Wade. I'm not a freakin gold digger." Peter grumbled, hating the thought of just asking Wade to just buy him whatever he wanted. Free food was one thing, but materials that cost millions of dollars? No way. Not in a million years. He was already too uneasy with how much Wade was willing to share with him. And after that kiss, Peter felt like he was taking complete advantage of Wade even if it was something simple like asking Wade to order him take-out.

"Yeah, I know. Still would be nice though." Ned admitted in defeat, delicately inserting the USB into the wiring, connecting the small wires to the USB port before inserting the actual USB.

Peter bit his lip, pulling his knee up to his chest as he watched Ned work, waiting for all the stats to load up on the laptop next to them.

"Alright, what did I say. You're all quiet now." Ned said, placing the metal framing back in place, screwing the pieces tightly back in place before looking at Peter with a look that said he knew what Peter was thinking.

"You don't think I'm taking advantage of Wade, right? I mean, I'm basically just using him for his house and food." Peter said with a frown.

It wasn't like he could pay rent or split the cost for food either, he didn't have an actual job to pay for anything, and of his limited skills, there wasn't much he could offer that Wade himself couldn't do himself.

And after that kiss, he felt like he was starting to give off the wrong impression about himself, with all his vaguely flirtatious slip-ups recently as well. He didn't think Wade would ask for sexual favours, at least not seriously, but it was still enough for him to not want to offer free cash-in whenever favours. He was no masochist, he didn't want to bring more possibly embarrassing conversations on himself, especially since Wade seemed to enjoy embarrassing him so much.

No way was he going to turn this whole thing into some sugar daddy situation. No way in hell. No matter how much his head was in the gutter with this one.

"Peter, I'm pretty sure Wade is just happy to have somebody else here. I haven't known him very long, but my guess is he's lonely." Ned said, putting the web shooters down to give Peter his full attention.

"What about Phillip? He does have a roommate, I'm not the first person to live here." Peter pointed out, Ned giving him an unimpressed look.

"And where is Phillip now." Ned asked dryly, Peter not really having an answer to that.

The guy was always just... there, or somewhere, and at the weirdest of times too. Peter wondered if he was some sort of teleporting alien from one of the many universes Wade believed in.

"Phillip is with MJ right now, hence why she didn't come with me." Ned explained with a shrug, Peter just blinking in response.




"She wasn't going to wait and see if you'd change your mind. Sorry dude."

"No, no, it's cool, it's just... weird.. cause she's like my sister." Peter said, scrunching his features up in disgust at imagining MJ with Phil. That was like imagining your parents doing it. Gross.

"Trust me, I know. I already gave Phillip the older brother talk." Ned said proudly, Peter raising his eyebrows at Ned, knowing for a fact his friend was not someone to just stand up to someone like Phil.

"Okay so, not really, I just mildly threatened him and said if he hurt MJ you would hunt him down." Ned admitted, Peter snorting before bursting out laughing.

"Well I mean you weren't wrong." Peter offered, Ned simply rolling his eyes with his face completely red.

It was good to know that MJ wasn't hung up about Peter at least, but also extremely weird to think about. He'd only talked to her like, what? A week ago?

"Did MJ know Phillip before?" Peter asked awkwardly, not really wanting to seem like he was interested in MJ, because he wasn't. He was more curious about Phillip, and all the connections MJ seemed to have with Wade's kind of people, not to mention Wade himself.

"I don't really know, all I know is that when we got here and you were asleep, MJ just walked in like she owned the place, and she knew who Phillip was. She wasn't even phased by.. you know.." Ned trailed off, gesturing to his face.

"So she must know them, and if she knew the address, she must've come here before, possibly multiple occasions." Peter said, ignoring the unintentional jab about Wade's scars.

"Why wouldn't she tell us though?" Ned questioned with an undertone of melancholy in his voice.

"Well, if I was her I probably wouldn't want to say I was friends with a mercenary either. Especially when we didn't tell her about me being Spider-man." Peter pointed out.

"Yeah but she's practically been leading a double life that we didn't even know about." Ned argued, Peter just raising his eyebrows higher and levelling Ned with a look.

"It's different." Ned huffed, Peter shaking his head in amusement. Maybe if they had been more open with MJ she would've been more open with them.

But why would MJ hide all of this knowing Phillip and Wade business? How long had Wade been in New York if she knew him and came here so often? Unless... Did she come to see Phillip? Who was Phillip actually? Why did Wade say he was out of town so much? Was he a mercenary too?

Received 13:02: How are you doing?

Peter sighed as he read the text from Tony Stark. He'd been getting maybe one or two texts a day ever since Stark found out about him staying here, like he was just checking in to make sure Peter was still alive. 

Sent 13:03: I'm fine, Stark.

Received 13:05: U can't blame me 4 being cautious.

Sent 13:06: Mhm.

Received 13:07: Don't take that tone with me mister.

Sent 13:07: I'm texting you. Not talking.

Received 13:08: Still has a tone to it.

Sent 13:09: I'm going to go now, Ned's over and we're working on stuff. Ttyl.

Peter watched as Stark started to type something, but apparently thought better of it, no more messages coming through.

"Stark again?" Ned asked curiously, his laptop now in his lap as he went through the systems in place for the web shooters. 

"Yeah. I know he's just checking in on me, but I still feel paranoid that he's hacked into the tv and is listening to our conversation even right now." Peter said flatly, not really liking the fact that it felt like he had some sort of chaperone for whatever he did. 

"That is pretty much impossible, seeing as the TV doesn't have a mic, but why does it bother you so much anyway? It's not like he can really reprimand you for anything. He's your superhero mentor, not your dad." Ned asked in confusion, his voice a little softer during the last part, most likely unsure of how Peter saw the whole Stark situation.

"Yeah, but he can tell Aunt May that I'm Spider-man, and then she'll freak out and then I'll freak out and it will just be- it would be a huge mess. And as for why it bothers me, I just feel like he's trying to control me, and the further I get out of his control, the more he's struggling to catch me and bring me back. And I don't want to be brought back. I want to be my own person for once, not just that guy that's usually associated with Iron Man." Peter ranted, falling back to lay on his back, stretching his legs out some.


"Yeah, 'oh'." Peter grumbled, feeling like a fool for thinking Stark would just let him go so easily. Although, he had to admit that Stark at least had limited himself to just texts and not constant phone calls or actual visits. 

Both Peter and Ned looked up as they heard the door open and close, Wade walking into the room, seeming shocked for a moment to see Ned and Peter on the floor with various mechanical pieces scattered about the floor. 

"Sometimes I forget you guys are total nerds." Wade joked, walking over to peek down at what they were doing. Most of the smaller pieces of the web shooters were put away, but there were still a few spare pieces out in case they lost something while they were messing with it. Classic Lego building strategy, but with science(!).

Peter felt somewhat self-conscious of what he was wearing now that it wasn't just him and Ned. Because while Ned had seen him in just boxers plenty of times, or just pants, or just shorts, hell, Ned had seen him with absolutely nothing on during several occasions, Wade had not. It was a whole different thing, and wearing nothing but the pair of loose Hello Kitty pyjama pants Stark had gotten him a few years back was just a little bit humiliating. The fact Wade had kissed him last night wasn't exactly helping this situation either.

"Don't touch or mess with anything." Ned commented dryly, pulling his laptop a little closer to himself as he worked.

"What are you guys even doing?" Wade asked, turning the light on the hands-free magnifying glass on and off again, Peter noticing the merc was looking at the web shooters with a rather predator look in his eyes.

"Touch my web shooters and I will kill you." Peter said with a scowl, scooping them up to clip them back onto his wrists before Wade could run off with them and cause havoc. 

"Can't I at least try? Pretty please?" Wade asked, looking at Peter with wide puppy dog eyes, and Peter hated to admit that the look was actually weakening his resolve.

"The web shooters are my precious. No touching." Peter restated, webbing them to his wrists just for extra precautions. 

"I know. If only our ability worked like that." Wade mumbled, Peter immediately wary of what the voices were saying about him. The voices were always the leading cause of all the perverted comments that he couldn't hear. 

"What?" Ned asked in confusion, not accustomed to Wade's kind of crazy yet.

"I mean how? How do you maintain this?" Wade asked, poking Peter in the side enough to make him yelp and twist away from the merc. 

"Maintain what?" Peter asked in annoyance, looking down at his torso like it had betrayed him. Was Wade talking about his figure? Because he already knew he was skinny and wiry and whatever people called being lean these days. It wasn't his fault he apparently got his mom's natural slim figure. 

"Maintain wha- Those abs! You're fracking ripped!" Wade exclaimed, Peter going bright red, grabbing the blanket from the couch to become a nun with. 

"What's worse is that he doesn't even work out, he's just shredded without even trying." Ned said, shaking his head in disapproval, Wade answering him with an overexaggerated gasp.

"Swinging around everywhere is kind of like working out!" Peter argued, knowing he had no real ground in this argument, but he still physically exhausted himself on multiple occasions just from fighting bad guys thank you very much. Parkour took skill and physical effort. Especially when tall buildings were involved.

"Even if I did 'work out' what would I do? Just casually go to the gym and bench press 20x my bodyweight? Yeah, that will go over well." Peter added sarcastically, wondering how fast the media would guess it was him if he went through with something like that.

"I would pay to see the looks on their faces when a small shrimp lookin kid like you bench presses more then they can and then some." Wade snickered, Peter taking mild offence to the shrimp comment.

"I don't look like a shrimp, I've got a six-pack and everything." Peter defended himself, knowing he wouldn't look so weird going to the gym. Despite not exactly working out religiously, Peter was still well-muscled and definitely fit. He'd be right at home at the gym if they had more challenging machines and weights.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but you hide in these weird sweater shirt things basically all the time. It usually takes a second glance to actually realise you're ripped." Wade informed him, nodding to himself solemnly and making Peter suspect the voices were talking again.

"Yeah yeah yeah, I'm a 'nerd' I get it. Ned, how are the web shooters looking?" Peter said, changing the topic to something that wasn't about his currently half-naked body.

"Well, if we want to try and make the web fluid stronger than what it's at currently then we're going to need to do some serious upgrades on the mechanics of them, but overall I think we should be able to work with them programming-wise." Ned said, eyes trained on the laptop screen.

"Total nerds." Wade said, Peter shooting him a look.

"How are we nerds for upgrading my web shooters? Last I checked, your typical nerds don't go around messing with world-changing equipment that could be sold for billions." Peter stated sceptically, wondering how this was any different than what Stark did with his suits, or what any superhero did with their gear. All it was really was modifying gear. Wasn't really anything special, just making stuff better.

"You just are. Nerd is written all over you. I mean, Ned's name is just missing an R." Wade insisted, a small teasing smile on his face.

"We're way cooler than just your everyday ordinary nerds." Peter declared, wearing the blanket from the couch as a cape now instead of some sort of turban+shawl.

"Is that so?" Wade asked with raised eyebrows, eyes glinting with mischief.

"No ordinary nerd could stop a bus with his bare hands." Peter reminded cheerfully, hoping he was getting the 'call me a nerd again and you might go flying through the wall.' across in his voice.

"You're so cute when you're irritated." Wade cooed, reaching out and pulling Peter into a forced hug, Peter hissing in annoyance when Wade made sure to ruffle his hair. Everyone always went for the hair.

But while Wade may have a size advantage on him, when it came to strength, Peter was winning by a long shot. There was no contest.

Peter easily escaped and shoved Wade down onto his back with one hand, pinning him there with little to no effort, looking down at Wade with a smug look as the merc tried to sit up and throw Peter off, but with Peter's other hand spider-stuck to the ground there was no way Wade was going to throw him off. He had the upper hand now.

"Why do I even try hanging out when you two are in the same room. I'm just destined to constantly feel like a third wheel." Ned complained, Peter turning to look back at Ned in confusion, realising that he was in fact, sitting on Wade's stomach, and how this might look 'couple-like' to Ned. 

He quickly got off Wade, hiding under his blanket again, using it to cover how red his face probably was, not wanting to address what had just happened. Was it too much to ask for everyone to forget it ever happened? Wade still hadn't said anything about it and he could only imagine what the voices were saying. Peter had only had him pinned for like thirty seconds, and it wasn't like he'd meant for it to seem so sexual.

"Hnnng, you just had to say something about it didn't you Ned." Wade whined, Ned, shrugging in an insincere apology.  

"Now he's broken." Wade groaned, trying to tug at the blanket he'd wrapped himself in. Good luck with that loser, Peter had sticky fingers.

"Peter I need you to locate the code you wrote in for the suit's web shooter upgrades, I want to add something to them to make them more stable." Ned said, completely ignoring Wade now. Peter was starting to wonder if Ned was jealous of the attention he gave Wade, which could definitely be possible, considering he'd decided to stay at Wade's place and hang out with Wade more than he'd been hanging out with Ned. 

Now Peter felt guilty.

"Mm, which part?" Peter asked, peeking out of the blanket to look at the laptop Ned angled towards him, allowing him to type in the passwords for the firewalls and security precautions he'd put in place to protect the programming. Couldn't have something like that Ultron incident getting into his web shooters, or any other tech-savvy criminal for that matter.

"Yeeeah okay, I'mma let you nerds do your thing and go make some lasagna for binge-watching Golden Girls with. Ned you staying over tonight?" Wade asked, Peter immediately grateful to Wade for offering. Maybe he wasn't the only one to notice Ned being somewhat off. 

"Yeah, that'd be awesome." Ned said, letting Peter's nerves settle just a little bit. He hated it when his friends fought, and he was beyond grateful that Wade wasn't one to pick unnecessary fights with Peter's friends.

Peter had to give Wade credit for his ability to observe people, even if he didn't always take the observations into consideration in the long run. But it seemed like he deemed Ned someone worthy of politeness. 

Peter vaguely wondered if this was how MJ picked up her observational skills. If she hung out with experienced mercenaries and Wade's friends then she had to have picked up at least some sort of behaviour from them. But it felt weird to think about MJ getting some of her skills from here. 

It seemed like everything seemed to tie back to here, to Wade. Both of his friends seemed to just fit in here, with Wade and Phillip, Weasel even. He'd heard MJ talk about Weasel on one occasion like she actually knew him, and Peter had no doubts that she most likely did know him. 

They all just seemed to fit together like they'd all known each other forever. Wade felt like one of their trio- or quartet Peter supposed. Quintet even, with Phillip in the mix.

Maybe this weird friend crossover could work out after all.

They didn't have to be a trio with all their double-lives anymore, they could be a real group of friends like the ones you'd see hogging an entire table in the cafeteria. 

They didn't have to be the losers anymore.

Yeah, now we all just hang out with mercenaries and possible aliens. Aunt May and Mrs. Leeds would be so proud.

Peter shook his head to clear his thoughts, helping Ned pick out the strings of code for the web shooters. Focus on one thing at a time Peter, one thing at a time. 

He didn't bother holding back the smile that ambushed him when he heard Wade humming the Pokemon theme song from the kitchen. Pretty soon Ned was joining in from the living room, all three of them eventually shrieking the song lyrics at the top of their lungs.

Peter liked being apart of a friend group like this. And the fact that Ned and MJ were getting along so well with Wade was a benefit he hadn't really been acknowledging till now, but was grateful for all the same.

It was nice to have friends like this.


Chapter Text



Tomorrow he would have to go back to his own apartment and face Aunt May with some sort of story about what a great road trip he'd been on, and then after that, it wouldn't be long till all his time was full with school work and trying to pick a college, trying to get into that college, trying to juggle Academic Decathlon team stuff and his job as Spider-man, and just- stress. 

Which was exactly why Peter was currently avoiding all of that, him and Wade pigging out on ice cream on the couch as they watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off instead of worrying about everything. 

"This has to be one of my favourite movies of all time." Wade said, shovelling another large spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. Seriously, how did Wade not get a brain freeze by doing that? Or have his teeth get cold? Peter would die.

"I once practically recreated this scene when I was chasing down some weapons dealers in a van." Peter said absentmindedly, watching as Ferris Bueller ran through different backyards.

"Wait seriously? Petey, why are you so perfect?" Wade groaned, Peter turning to look at him curiously, having been fairly absorbed in the movie and ice cream up until this point. 

"Vandalizing people's backyards makes me perfect?" Peter asked jokingly, not exactly fond of the entire memory. The golf course had not been fun, and being nearly drowned in a lake wasn't exactly a highlight either. He still had nightmares about being stuck in a parachute underwater. 

"Forget about the vandalizing, you recreated one of the best scenes ever from Ferris Bueller's day off. I would've paid to see that." Wade whined, Peter debating in his head whether or not it was 'one of the best scenes.' After all, there were a lot of great scenes.

"I think my suit recorded it. It kind of records everything." Peter commented, not exactly keen on watching that footage. Yay for rewatching almost-deaths. Great clip to send to America's Funniest Home Videos!

"Does your suit record everything you do?" Wade asked curiously, sounding intrigued for most likely all the wrong reasons. 

"Yeah. It's pretty helpful for finding people, or licence plates, or getting second opinions, etc." Peter allowed, dubious as to what exactly Wade thought he did in his suit, but not willing enough to ask.

"I should ask Ned to compile a video of all the epic fails." Wade snickered, running out of ice cream from his carton, leaning over to take some of Peter's.

"Nuh uh, this is mine, go get another one from the fridge. And I'm pretty sure he already made a video like a year ago." Peter muttered, holding his carton away from Wade.

"How long was the epic fail compilation? And we've eaten them all, that's the last one." Wade said, leaning closer to Peter to try and grab it. 

"It was long enough." Peter grunted, eventually just pushing Wade back to his spot on the couch, still unable to eat his ice cream with one hand.

"Come onnn, the last night of this long sleepover and you're not even gonna share ice cream with me? After all I've done for you?" Wade huffed indignantly, obviously playing up to be more hurt than he was, considering there was a smile threatening to break his composure.

However, he was right about one thing: this was the last night he'd probably ever stay the night at Wade's, or be able to hang out with the merc without having to drag along the burden of school work- not to mention college was a thing. When was he going to be able to sit on this couch with Wade and be so carefree?

Were they going to grow distant after this? Would they go back to just being casual buddies that sometimes got food together and texted once in a while?

He didn't want that. He might call Wade annoying sometimes, or act like the other man got on his nerves, but deep down Peter knew he was going to seriously miss this apartment and the people living in it. He was going to miss Wade, even if the merc was just a call or text away. His heart almost physically hurt at the thought of forgetting about all of this and carrying on with his life.

He didn't want to forget Wade.

Peter wasn't sure if it was the sudden feeling of loneliness that overtook him, or the genuine desire to be close to Wade that finally pushed him over the edge. Either way, it ended with him straddling Wade freakin Wilson, hands framing the man's face as their lips met, ice cream carton left forgotten on the coffee table.

Peter hadn't had much practice at kissing, but the limited times he'd done it he felt fairly confident in his ability to kiss somebody. And with Wade, he'd thought he could probably be the worst kisser in all of history and the mercenary would still kiss him back. 

But now he was having doubts.

Peter stopped, pulling back and searching Wade's eyes for answers as to why Wade wasn't responding. Wade had kissed him before, why not now? Had he changed his mind about Peter?

"Am I that bad of a kisser?" Peter joked, his voice sounding unusually shy to his own ears. Peter knew he was shy, but he felt like he was going to die of all the anxious and insecure thoughts running through his head at that exact moment.

"No, Peter you're amazing, I just-" Wade paused, making Peter feel like his heart was going to give out any second now.

"It was okay when we were just kind of, I don't know, middle school style flirting, with that one quick kiss, and the comments about each other, but you're... young." Wade said dumbly, Peter marvelling at the fact he was seeing Wade blush this time.

"You're worried because I'm young?" Peter repeated, making sure he'd just heard that right.

"Well, yeah, you're barely 18, and you're super hot, don't get me wrong, but morally-"

Peter silenced him by placing his hand over the merc's mouth, giving Wade a look that let him know if he licked Peter's hand he was dead.

"1. If that's really the case then you've been leading me on this whole time and I do not approve.
2. I am a legal adult who is completely, err, mostly capable of making my own decisions.
3. You're a respectable person despite everything you've done and I trust you not to be after me  for my age, you like me for me, otherwise we wouldn't be here.
4. You're like mentally 7 and I should probably be the one worried about the whole 'young' thing. And as for 5. I seriously want this, and I know you do too." Peter stated, genuinely nervous of what Wade would reply with.

Peter didn't even know what he was doing right now, he just knew that this was something he wanted and he wasn't going to lose it now. 


"Do you like me?" Peter interjected, starting to grow nervous that everything before had really been just Wade joking with him. For all Peter knew, Wade could have a girlfriend somewhere, a wife even. The thought was unnerving, but Peter was finding it difficult to move himself from where he was currently sat.

"I do like you, but you're too good for me, you're Spider-man and I'm a mercenary who kills people." Wade argued quietly, sounding unusually resigned to this. "You're the good guy, you weren't supposed to like the bad guy." Wade insisted, Peter blinking down at him in wonder. 

Had Wade not been expecting him to reciprocate? That's why he was flirting? Because he thought Peter would never even look twice? It would explain all the surprise when Peter hadn't rejected him completely when Wade had kissed him. So did Wade actually like him? Or was this all just Wade practising his flirting techniques on someone he thought wouldn't ever think about him?

Peter found that hard to believe. This was Wade, he typically voiced what he wanted, right?

"You aren't the bad guy. You killed people, you don't kill. But I don't like you just for the fact you've changed. I like you because you're you, not because of what you've done or what you could do." Peter said slowly, still unsure where he stood with Wade in this situation.

Did Wade like him? Not like him? Was Peter the one trying to pressure Wade into something this time around? He didn't want to pressure Wade into whatever 'this' was, but he needed to know that the feelings he'd been feeling lately weren't just one-sided. 

"But you're-"

"I'm not a good guy Wade, I'm just Peter. I've done things too, I've hurt people, I've been lost before, and I've done things I'm not proud of and will probably regret for the rest of my life, but at the end of the day, I'm just me." Peter sighed, not knowing where all that even came from.

Yet, there was no unseen force making him a good person. He could go mental the next day and go on a killing spree, but that was the choice everyone made each day. Wade had a choice. Peter had a choice. Everyone had a choice to do the right thing, or continue with their life.

Uncle Ben had done the right thing, and for the longest time, Peter didn't know why anyone would do the right thing if you never got rewarded for it, why you only got hurt for it. But he thought he understood now. It was in moments like this where doing the right thing mattered. Setting the example, helping people, showing people like Wade that there was more than one way to live life.

Because it was never about the good guys and the bad guys. It was about the choices that people made. They were all just people with a choice to do the right thing or the wrong thing. 

This time when Peter kissed him, he kissed back, albeit reluctantly at first, letting Peter keep most of the control still, but kissing back all the same. Almost like he thought Peter didn't actually want this and would pull away at any second. However, even Wade had limitations, and Peter was going to find them. 

There was something about Wade that just felt like it complimented Peter, and Peter knew Wade had to feel the same. 

Ultimately, a light could not be truly relevant without a darkness to contrast it. A world of nothing but the darkness didn't know the power of the light, and a world of light didn't know the comfort of darkness. Light needed the shadows and the shadows needed light.

They were opposites in many ways, but if you took away the reputation and the hero/anti-hero status, then they were both just two dudes who enjoyed binge-eating ice cream as they binge-watched tv shows on Netflix. 

They had different interests, and different ideas and opinions, but they were still both similar enough for it to count. Their similarities overruled any differences between them.

"Do you still want that carton of ice cream?" Peter joked, breaking the kiss to press his forehead against Wade's, unsure of what was next after this. Wade was a lot more knowledgeable about everything that Peter wasn't, and he wasn't exactly sure what he was getting himself into. 

"Mmm we can go to the store for more later." Wade mumbled, kissing Peter again and making him glad that he wasn't standing because he was pretty sure he would have fallen from how weak his knees went.

They both stopped at the sound of the front door unlocking slowly. 

Peter quickly moved to his side of the couch, Wade doing much of the same as the door opened and then closed, nobody coming around the corner for a torturous second. It wouldn't be Stark, right? Tony could be quick at times, but he wasn't that quick. Unless he was monitoring Peter's phone, watching and hearing everything that was going on. In that case, Peter would be in big trouble.

"Heyyyy!" Peter said awkwardly as MJ and Ned walked in with Phillip not far behind them, MJ giving him a suspicious look as she kicked her shoes off by the door.

"What were you guys watching?" Ned asked, the credits of the movie having started rolling without their notice, Ned's face lighting up as he saw the end credits scene.

Well, this was one awkward way to kill a boner.

"Did you guys order pizza yet?" MJ asked, confusing Peter even further. It was one thing for Ned and MJ to just drop in randomly, but for them to just assume that he and Wade had ordered pizza?

"I totally forgot that it was Tournament Night." Wade exclaimed in realisation, Peter beyond confused at this point. He was past the cosmos into complete and utter disorientation. 

"Last Friday of each month we get together and have a Mario Kart tournament to kick-start the weekend." Wade explained, Peter trying to process what that actually meant. Because that 'we' included people that weren't just Wade. 

"Did you guys order pizza yet? Because I swear if you ate it all already you're buying me another." 

Peter turned to see Weasel come around the hallway, the front door shutting behind him, obviously confused when he saw Peter sitting on the couch. 

"Hey, you're that one weird kid from the bar. The messenger for spider-boy." Weasel said, MJ snorting at that as she tossed Phillip her phone and started listing pizza orders as she dug through the games strewed on the floor in front of the TV.

"Who exactly participates in this tournament?" Peter asked weakly, his head still fuzzy from kissing Wade and the complete confusion of having so many people in the room directly after. It was as if a bomb had gone off in his mind and his ears were still ringing.

"Me, Weasel, Phillip and MJ usually. Although occasionally Bob will come over and hang out too." Wade supplied, all of this news to Peter. Just how long had MJ known Wade?

Apparently long enough for them to set up Mario Kart tournaments.

((What I imagine Mario Kart sessions between these 4 to be like:

"Err, how many tournaments have there been??" Peter asked awkwardly, not sure if he should be seeing MJ in a different light or not. According to this tournament thing, she'd been hanging out with these guys for a while now. How long had it been since Flash left her alone? Before that? If that was the case then that was nearly three years. 

"A lot." Wade decided, catching a controller that was tossed to him.

"Oh." Was all Peter could say, really not feeling up for this at the moment. He loved his friends dearly, but right now he'd much rather be doing other things, like maybe figuring out what on earth had just happened between him and Wade. 

He didn't even have time to discuss what he and Wade were even doing after this. Were they friends? More than friends? Boyfriends?? Peter was completely new to this and had absolutely no clue what was going on in this situation. He didn't like not knowing stuff. And he'd prefer to know what Wade even wanted, Peter still didn't have a clear answer. Was he still against it? Or was he accepting of it? Or maybe Peter had just screwed everything up?


"Peter..?" Peter looked up, MJ looking down at him with a slightly concerned look, offering him a controller. If MJ was concerned for him then he knew there must be something wrong looking with him.

"Thanks, although can't only four people play?" Peter asked, taking the controller cautiously, knowing he was decent at the game, but most likely not on their level.

"I own multiple Switches."

"Of course you do."


After a while of racing and pizza, Peter felt slightly better about completely forgetting his problems, even if he still zoned out occasionally, thinking about how he could have messed up his friendship with Wade and how he wasn't going to get to fix it.

But that was mostly all tucked in the back of his mind, instead, letting himself be occupied with the fury that being blue shelled and then triple red shelled brought a person.

It was weird to be playing Mario Kart with so many people that were just treating him like a friend. Peter had only really had Ned in the past, and he still considered MJ a new friend, despite the fact she'd been by his side almost all through high school.

He had the academic decathlon team, of course, and he considered them friends too, but they weren't the kind of friends he could call up at 2 AM if he was stranded somewhere. Ned and MJ were the only people he felt he could really trust something like that with, however, he was starting to consider Phillip on that list, with Wade there now as a given. 

And to be fair, Peter was starting to think he better make fast friends with Phillip, considering he seemingly was very much head over heels for MJ. Anyone could see it with the way he'd look at her, and the fact he didn't go easy on her in Mario Kart let Peter know that he was perfect for her. MJ liked a challenge and Phil wasn't just going to let her win things because he admired her, they were both a good blend of competitiveness.

"What the f#$% Wade!" Weasel yelled, quickly falling back into last place, even Ned able to overtake him.

Weasel was an interesting mix to the group, adding an interesting twist to the conversations and banter, leaving lots of things hanging that Wade and Peter had an absolute field day making smart comments at.

Peter felt like he was completely surrounded by friends for once, with everyone knowing about his spider-secret, well, everyone except Weasel, but Peter knew Weasel probably knew something or at least suspected. He hadn't really asked about Peter being here, so naturally, he assumed Weasel knew something if he wasn't commenting on it.

"Alright, I say we call it a night. Are you packed up Peter? Me and MJ were thinking we'd get back from 'our trip' tonight." Ned said with a yawn, making Peter's heart drop in his chest.

"O-oh? Tonight?" Peter stammered, internally screaming when Wade gave him a slightly nervous and uneasy look.

He doesn't want me to leave either.

"Yeah. MJ made us this great alibi story and everything. She said it would be best to stop by your apartment first, tell the story of how great our trip was. That way if one of us slips up then MJ can catch it before we get caught." Ned said with a small smile, seemingly totally okay with lying to everyone's face.

But hey, Peter had gotten pretty good at it as of late, so really, what was one more lie to Aunt May? Just some intense guilt, constant paranoia that she'd find out, having to distance himself to avoid slipping up around the first week, yeah it was fineeee.

"We can give you another day if you think you need it, we just thought it might be more believable to get back tonight when we can say we'd been driving all afternoon or something." Ned said quickly, obviously seeing Peter's hesitance.

He had already forced them to cover for him long enough. After all, Ned had been sleeping on MJ's couch the whole week, and MJ's parents wouldn't be out of town forever. Keeping them from relaxing in their own homes for another day was cruel, "No, it's fine, we can go tonight, just let me get all my stuff first before we go. Is MJ driving?" Peter asked, not missing the disappointed look on Wade's face.

Peter promised himself he'd text Wade as soon as he got home, call him even.

He shot Wade an apologetic look, quickly getting up and gathering all his stuff that was scattered around the house as Ned and MJ started saying their goodbyes to Phillip and Weasel.

Well, this was great. A surprise Mario Kart party and now he was completely at a loss on where he stood with Wade. He wasn't going to get any sleep at all tonight at this rate, not with all the worrying he was already going through now.

What was he going to say if he'd ruined his and Wade's friendship? Would he just have to tell him to forget it ever happened and ask to go back to being friends? Would he even be able to now? He hadn't been lying when he'd said he liked Wade, he felt that he really had grown closer with him and he was fairly certain that what he felt for Wade wasn't just a friends thing anymore.

What had he even been thinking? Just kissing Wade like that? He had been acting like a completely different person lately, with all the lying and spontaneous decisions. He needed to get his act together before he hurt somebody. 

"Peter you coming or not?" MJ joked, Peter quickly snapping back to reality, grabbing his backpack and glancing at Wade one last time before he made his way towards the door with Ned and MJ. 

Please, don't let me have screwed this up.



Chapter Text



"You better not do that again without telling me, mister. You're lucky I'm not grounding you right now, you know that?" May ranted, Peter just awkwardly standing there as she got everything off her chest. He could see that she'd been worried, and the lack of calls he'd got the past week let him know she was trying to give him more of a free range. 

She'd said that she was going to let Peter do more stuff now that he was technically an adult, but part of him missed having Aunt May worrying about him so much that she'd nonstop call him on school trips and such. He didn't know he could ever miss having an overprotective Aunt, but here he was. 

"I won't do it again. I promise." Peter assured, hoping that he wouldn't get thrown off any more buildings, or just generally not get injured like that again.  

"You better not." Aunt May sighed, leaning on the kitchen counter, shutting her eyes in what Peter knew to be a sign of stress. 

"I really am sorry." Peter said quietly, not really wanting to bring up fake excuses. He didn't like lying to Aunt May, he actually hated it. Strong hatred for the lying. He felt just about as low as you could get whenever he did it, and he really didn't want to lie about this, but he couldn't just say he'd fallen off the second tallest building in New York and then stayed over at a friend's for the week recovering. Especially considering that person was Wade and she already was suspicious of Wade.

"I know you are, come here." 

Peter accepted the hug, glad that she couldn't see how guilty his face probably looked right now. Not to mention the fact that he was still laser-focused on texting Wade as soon as possible and felt guilty for wanting to sneak away to his room to do it and leave her here. 

It felt like he was forcing himself to suffer through spending time with Aunt May, and he loathed that feeling with a passion. He didn't want this to be a chore.

"How about I make us some popcorn and we can stay up watching Arrow?" May offered, Peter feeling like he'd just been stabbed. In the heart. Because Aunt May didn't even like that show, she'd much rather watch Downton Abbey or some soap opera-y show rather than Arrow. She was offering to watch a show she didn't even like to spend time with him, and here he was already with a dozen different excuses to get out of it. 

Wade could wait just a little while longer, right? Could Peter wait a little while longer? 

If he didn't text Wade soon the other man would probably go to sleep, especially with how late it already was. But if he avoided spending time with Aunt May just to text Wade then could he really forgive himself? He didn't want to be one of those people who scored themselves a significant other and then completely ditched family and friends.

He liked Wade, and he wanted to know what they were beside complicated, but he also had to remember that he had people that cared; people like Ned, MJ, and Aunt May, all people who he didn't want to fall out of touch with or forget about just because he suddenly had this new and interesting person taking up all his thoughts.

Wow, that was cheesy. Wade taking up all of his thoughts? Psssh, not really... He had other things to think about... stuff that.. wasn't Wade?

Crap, he had been mostly Wade obsessed tonight. 

It wasn't his fault though, because it wasn't like he and Wade just kissed every day. It felt like weeks ago that it happened, but it was still within the same 24 hours, he had the right to be completely confused and baffled by everything. 

He had kissed a mercenary of his own free will and knew if he was given the option, he'd do it again in a heartbeat. Which was seriously worrying and he was still freaking out about it in the back of his mind, like constant screaming just in the back of his mind. The crazy psychotic 'butterflies' felt more like nuclear explosions happening inside his body rather than butterflies. 

He felt like he was going insane. 


"Huh? Sorry- Yes- Arrow, let's do that. I'll even make the popcorn--" Peter said, quickly coming back to the real world, going to grab a bowl and the kernels that they kept in the pantry.

"No, you go sit down. You look ill, and why do you have a weird streak in your hair?" May interjected, taking the bowl he'd retrieved away from him, using it to point in the direction of the living room. 

"Weird strea--?" Oh, bullet. He'd completely forgotten that bullet that had grazed him, and even if it was mostly healed now there was still a bit of a scar visible and a line in his hair from where the bullet had skimmed him. "--I'm going to go sit down now and get the show ready, thank you so much Aunt May." Peter finished speedily, practically flying out of the kitchen before Aunt May could step closer to look at his hair.

Maybe he could text Wade before Aunt May was done with the popcorn, so long as Wade hadn't gone to bed after they'd left.

Peter didn't like this weird complicated label that was hanging over them like a storm cloud. He needed to know what Wade thought, he had to know what they were. He could hardly stand the anxiety that came with all this not knowing. 

Yet, as he turned on the tv and navigated to Netflix, he wasn't so sure he wanted to know the answers Wade might give him. 

What if those answers turned out to be rejections?

Peter had never been completely rejected before, not even with Liz, and he'd totally expected Liz to reject him the one time he'd asked her to homecoming. The closest thing to rejection he'd come to was MJ confessing to him, which had been weird, and he still wasn't really sure what had happened there. 

But up until now, it had been high school shenanigans. This was Wade, a mercenary who had probably been with a dozen chicks, at least, that were all hotter and more experienced than Peter was. The probability of rejection was extremely high, even with considering how many comments Wade made about his ass. 

Maybe he shouldn't text Wade. He should at least give Wade some time to think about everything, and maybe wait till they could actually talk face to face and Wade couldn't just leave him on read, not that Wade would do that, but at this point, Peter didn't know what to expect. 

After all, he was just Peter Parker. He wasn't experienced or even good looking. He was just a nerd who went to a nerd school and liked science. Why would Wade want someone like that?

Wade wouldn't even think twice about saying no to someone like me.


[I swear, if you don't text him I am goING TO GO BALISTIC.]

(TEXT HIM!!!!)

"No, he's probably sleeping, he'll text us when he's ready." Wade insisted, getting tired of this constant nagging now that Peter was gone. 

It was eerily quiet in the apartment, with Phillip having headed back to Hell House with Weasel to hang out for a bit, leaving Wade to himself at the apartment. The completely silent and lifeless apartment. It couldn't be more dead than it felt right now, not even if Wade had tried to kill it could it be more dead.

[Are you kidding me?! The kid woke up at one in the afternoon, we literally had to wake him up this morning so that he'd be able to sleep tonight.]

(He won't be sleeping.)

"Well what am I supposed to say, huh?! 'Oh hey Peter, just thought maybe you'd want to talk about the fact that you kissed me.'" Wade exclaimed, flopping onto the couch to stare up at the ceiling, angrily kicking the armrest when he was too tall to properly put his feet down, the couch giving a creaky sound of protest. 

(True, we can't just be blunt like that.)

[Why not?]

"Because he's a kid and we're not pursuing this."


"Think about it. I'm just about as attractive as some shrivelled old man's balls and Peter is like the god of adorable twinks. Not to mention all the moral dilemmas that I could bring up. He is a good kid, and I'm not a good guy. I am not a hero and the blow it would do to his reputation just to be seen with me is enough to convince me to not curse him with that. But if that wasn't good enough we could always talk about the fact that he is probably the most innocent and naive person we know, and as patient as I can be, I don't think I'm going to be able to just take it slow like most relationships, like how Peter probably wants it to be. He's just a good person who is expecting me to be the same, and I'm not. I can't be trusted with someone like that. He deserves someone who won't hurt him like we could, he's too much of an emotional person for us." 


There was an awkward pause from both boxes, Wade rolling from the couch onto the floor, moping in the comfort of the darkness of the room, the only light from the city lights outside, sounds of an ambulance siren in the distance, drawing his mind once again back to Peter and his Spider-man justice code of no killing to add to the 'Reasons We Can't Date Peter' pile.

"We're not good enough for him. He needs somebody without all this blood on their hands. Some nice nerdy person who gets all his science puns." Wade grumbled, dragging himself along the floor till he got to the large window along the side, looking down at the city several stories below. 

[Why can't we just be selfish.]

(Because being selfish would just hurt Peter, and that would hurt us. It's probably more selfish to not go after him.)

[But why not at least try?]

"Because trying means that we'd probably break his heart, and then we'd go into one of those suicidal-streak flunks." Wade said, pressing his forehead against the glass and enjoying the soothing feeling it brought him before his body heat brought the glass to the same temperature.

[So basically we're screwed either way.]

"But rejecting Peter will save Peter from wallowing in the same mess of depression that I'm in, so I'm all for it." Wade said glumly, knowing he'd have to reject Peter sooner or later. But it was better than trying and then failing so bad that he couldn't come back from it, or worse, mess it up so bad for Peter that Peter did something he'd regret. 

(Wow, Peter isn't going to commit suicide over you. Stop being so conceited.)

[Yeah, you're the suicidal one. Don't be arrogant.]

"Thanks for the support." Wade snarked, sitting up when he heard his phone buzz on the kitchen counter. 

Received 01:12: Can you meet me on the roof of the Taco Bell by your apartment?

Wade blinked, not expecting Peter to respond that fast. He thought he'd have to wait until morning at least, but did he even have a choice at this point? Peter had apparently already made the 10-minute trip.

Sent 01:12: why exactly..?

Received 01:13: Because I want to talk to you??

Sent 01:13: Peter its 1 in the morning. why are you even still up?? we couldnt just text???

Received 01:14: Wade. Please.


(No #$%! Sherlock.)

"Well, we'll just have to reject him tonight then. No problem, just a little shift up on the schedule." Wade muttered, exhaling loudly as he wondered if he should grab his suit. 

No, it's better for him to know what he'd have to be with if he tries to pursue us anyway. 

(This sucks.)

[Major balls.]

Wade didn't bother to reply, finding one of his warmer hoodies and a baseball cap, wondering if he should go armed or not. He didn't usually leave the apartment unless he at least had something to defend himself with, but tonight he wasn't so sure he cared, not to mention bringing a weapon might seem suspicious to Peter.

He exhaled again, unsure if he really wanted to do this. 

If he rejected Peter he'd probably lose his friendship, but if he didn't reject Peter he'd end up hurting the kid even more till he probably ended up on Peter's hate-list. There was no winning in this situation. He'd rather just have it be kind of awkward between them when they hung out via mutual friends. 

He grabbed his phone, keys and wallet before heading out the door, trying to remember the best way to Taco Bell if he wanted to get on the roof of the building. Which side was their roof access again?

(West side.)

[Nuh uh, it's the east side of the building, no doubts.]

Wade did his best to tune out the fighting, focusing more on just getting to the building rather than worry which way to get up it.

Thankfully the night was a little more forgiving than the day, with not as many people turning to stare, and those that did not really the jaw-dropping tourist-y sort he usually had to put up with. New York city was forgiving that way.

People here turned to stare still, but it wasn't as intense as other places, as though New Yorkers had already seen it all before, or they simply didn't have the time to stare. Especially the more downtown areas, or the shady downtown areas that were the down-down-downtown of New York, as in the underground sort of down. It was harder to intimidate people there.

Even Peter hadn't really shown much hesitancy at his scars, and he'd originally thought Peter to be one of those smart sheltered kids who'd squeal at the sight of blood, but he was starting to see Peter was a whole lot more. Which wasn't good news for Wade.

Here he was, going to reject the web-head and all he could do was think about all of Peter's pros. He had cons as well, but they weren't exactly cons in the ordinary sense. Peter was practically perfect, which in Wade's book, was a con. He was sweet, kind, the poster boy of good, cute, funny, flexible, pretty much total perfection, and was totally off limits.

(I still don't see why though.)

[And I can think of way better cons. What about the fact he's easily breakable, totally adhd, and he's too stubborn. Hm?]

(No way. He isn't "easily breakable", he has superhuman strength and healing, he's way more durable than any other human. And his adhd compliments our crazy, and the stubbornness is still a perk because he's stubborn enough to put up with us.)

"Not helping." Wade mumbled, crossing the empty street towards the fast food place with a sort of resignation to his own fate.

(Told you it was the west side.)

[Shut up.]

Wade hauled himself up the various fire escapes and ladders, reaching the top easily enough, looking around for Peter somewhere among the weird roof things that he had no clue of their function.

Peter was just as stunning as always, with his mask off so that he had that stupid bedhead kind of look with his hair starting to curl, all sticking up in every direction. Let's not even talk about the way he was crouched on a somewhat high roof thingy, that perfect Spider-man pose showcasing way too much of that figure in all the right places.

(Hot ♡.♡)

[Sexy AF.]

"We need to talk."

Oh god, wasn't that what Wade was supposed to be saying? He didn't like the start of this.

"Before you say anything, let me get something out first." Wade sighed, not missing the way Peter's eyes widened for a split second.

"Yeah okay, uh, hash it out." Peter said, sliding down to the ground in front of Wade, the Bambi eyes seriously not helping him say the words he'd already started stringing together in his mind on the way here.

"I know you like me, but I don't like you. Not in the way you want anyway. The flirting beforehand, that wasn't me actually flirting with you, it was more just me teasing you, and I apologise if I got the wrong message across." Wade said as seriously as he could, trying to show Peter that he wasn't kidding.

Wade winced when Peter took a small step back, eyes filled with a look of hurt and betrayal before hardening into something undecipherable.

"...You're lying."

"Why would I lie to you about this. There's no point. I simply don't like you, I'm sorry, but that's the way it is."

"No, it's easy to tell. You're lying about this, but why are you lying?" Peter asked in confusion, Wade wondering if Peter really could see through him, or if this was just Peter going into denial.

"Peter I only see you like a little brother." Wade insisted, pulling the brother card out. Sibling-zoning, one of the worst rejections you could give a person.

"Wade, even you wouldn't hit on someone you thought of as a brother. I think you think it's better for us to not date. You're scared of commitment."

"I am not scared of commitment!"

"Then why won't you date me, hm? Because it's obvious you want me. And if it isn't a commitment issue than what is it? Are we back on the 'you're too good for me' bullshit?"

[He always gets to curse. Not fair.]

(It's Tom Holland, were you expecting Captain Swear Jar?)

[Shhh, that's too many wall breaks.]

(Oh, sorry. Pretend you guys didn't read that.)

"Guys focus." Wade hissed, trying to come up with answers that weren't stupid sounding.

"Wade you like me, admit it." Peter said with a roll of his eyes, stepping closer so that he was right up there in Wade's personal space. Talk about temptation.

"Peter I'm just going to hurt you in the end. You're out of my league." Wade protested weakly, Peter looking like he didn't care about what Wade said at all.

"You know, earlier I was worried you were going to reject me because I was a boring person, and now you're telling me I'm out of your league." Peter murmured, Wade having an awfully difficult time trying to stick to the reason he'd come here in the first place. Peter thought he was boring?  

(He is literally Spider-man, how could Peter ever think he is boring? Unless he's got some sort of dual personality problem going on, and that Spider-man is the only interesting thing about him?)

"Peter this won't work." Wade tried again, feeling like he was preaching on deaf ears.

"Wade let me tell you why this will work. Everything about you is exactly what I want, and what I need. You've not only managed to have my back in multiple Spider-man situations, but you've also had my back in situations I was Peter too, whether you knew it or not. You're observant too, and smart, and you know all of the obscure references I make and can actually keep up with me on a vocal level.--"

(Hehe, keep up with him on a vocal level.)

"--Wade everything about you just clicks into place with what I already am, and I know you have to feel at least a little bit the same." Peter said, slightly breathless by the end of it, leaving Wade feeling like he couldn't really compete with that.

"I know this feels like I'm just saying 'ditto', but I do feel the same way about you." Wade offered timidly, completely at a loss now.

Did he go for this? Did he continue on with his hopeless mission? It was obvious Peter was going to be stubborn about this one, and Wade really wasn't going to be able to be stubborn about this one.

"Now, will you shut up and kiss me already?" Peter asked with raised eyebrows, already giving Wade the feeling that he'd already started casting a bad influence on spidey if he was demanding something like that.

Wade didn't really bother to think about it, simply pressed his lips to Peter's, not sure how to feel when Peter was the one to deepen the kiss, turning the more innocent occasion into a French one.

"Are we married now?" Wade managed to say, Peter pausing, letting his forehead rest on Wade's as he seemed to genuinely think about this. Oh god what had Wade got himself into.

"I think, you should buy me a ring first, then we can talk-- or no, just buy me fancy web shooters. A ring is lame anyways." Peter said way too seriously.

"Wait, are you being serious right now??" Wade asked in confusion, Peter breaking out into fits of laughter.

"No, give me like a year at the very least before proposing to me, I'm a classy girl. Although I was serious about proposing to me with fancy web shooters, or vibranium to make web shooters with." Peter said slyly, a teasing smile on his lips as a million thoughts raced through Wade's head.

(We should buy that vibranium and those web shooters.)

[Did you not just hear him? A year at least. And why are we doing a whole 180 on this scenario? One second we want to reject him and now we want marriage?!]

(Or we just want that ass.)

[Fine, that's not a bad excuse.]

"We may not be married, but I wouldn't mind being boyfriends..?" Peter said, the statement sounding more like a question.

(Oh my gosh he just asked us. Omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg)

[O-m-g shut up. But holy shiznits he's asking us out.]

"Y-yeah, boyfriends sounds great." Wade agreed, unable to properly comprehend words at this current moment. The boy of his dreams had just asked him out. He felt like he was in high school again, good lord Jesus on an aircraft carrier he was freaking out.

"Boyfriends then." Peter said breathlessly, his face totally red, and his hair still messed up, and eyes all wide and dilated like that-- Wade kissed him again, wondering why on earth he ever thought this was a bad idea.

(Because we're going to break him eventually.)

[Such depressing thoughts.]

(We live a depressing life. This won't last.)

"Shut up." Wade mumbled, leaving a trail of kisses along the side of Peter's jaw.

"The boxes should learn how to shut the $%!# up." Peter muttered while pulling away and startling Wade by carefully leaving trails of kisses along his jawline and neck.

"You don't mind the scars..?" Wade asked in confusion, knowing most the people he'd been with in the past were rather hesitant about kissing him at all in the first place, but kissing his skin? The same scarred skin that had the texture of a depressed and suicidal avocado?

Peter's response was more kisses.

Chapter Text


School was going to start soon.

That was one of the leading causes of stress that was weighing on Peter, at least more than anything else currently. 

He felt like so much had happened over summer break, between the work with the prototype suit, and meeting Wade, falling off a building, not to mention Evyn and Electro and his birthday- it had been an overly eventful summer, no doubts there. 

He wasn't really sure if he'd be able to go back to school the same as he'd always done. He felt different somehow, as though the summer had changed something with him, or maybe he was still just feeling the shock from the drop to the ground, still processing that he hadn't died.

He felt like he'd almost died plenty of times, or felt like maybe he'd not be able to escape something. He'd been on plane crashes, nearly drowned, crushed, bled out, pushed to his breaking point, beaten, broken and burned, but he had always recovered from those alone. He had sat in his room with DIY style medical equipment plenty of times, with Aunt May finding out always a possibility. He had known the pain of walking to a bus stop with broken arms that were still healing and bruises he couldn't explain so many times that he'd lost count.

Yet, the only person he could ever tell what really happened had been Ned, and it wasn't like Ned was exactly a trained professional. Both of their mentors had been YouTube and Google from day one. Ned couldn't even stand the sight of blood without passing out. But now, he had people who would force him to lay down if they felt his leg was still too broken, or his arm was still sore. 

He had people who would go out to find him when he was hurt and take him back to safety. The only person who had ever done that had been Stark, and Stark could hardly be there for every single injury or life-threatening moment.

He'd had to help himself so much that he had honestly forgotten what it was like to have somebody else there making sure he was really okay. 

"I still can't believe you." Ned muttered beside him, still apparently reeling from Peter admitting that he and Wade were dating. MJ had been the first to know after he'd texted her yesterday, ("Sent 05:06: Hey, me and Wade are dating." "Received 05:08: cool.") and he'd told Ned in person not even a couple hours ago this morning. 

So far he and Wade had decided to keep their relationship, if you could seriously call it that, quiet for now since nobody wanted anymore surprise Stark visits anytime soon, Peter already knew Wade was going to be the one who would be taking the hits when it came to Stark finding out. No need to have it happen any sooner than it had to. 

Although, Peter still wasn't exactly clear on what they were. They had both agreed to be boyfriends, but Peter had thought it would be different after that, as though it was some sort of upgrade and they'd act differently somehow. However, all that had changed was that if Peter made a smartass comment then Wade was completely allowed to kiss him for it, which Peter was still trying to process.

It was a two way street of course, but overall their friendship was still exactly the same. Peter wasn't exactly sure what he had been expecting to change, and he felt stupid for thinking something would change, but he was still learning okay? 

"A mercenary, Peter? Really?" Ned asked again, Peter honestly surprised that there hadn't been more questions up until now. He was starting to worry it was going to be like the Spider-man thing again, and he'd have to suffer through all the questions once Ned came out of this stunned state. 

"Ex-mercenary." Peter corrected absentmindedly, checking his phone for the time as they waited. 

Wade was picking them up and they were all going over to Wade's for kind of a 'you survived!' party for Aiden, the guy that Evyn Egerton had been trying to kill. 

Evyn Egerton had been completely off the radar for more than a week now, and Wade hadn't been able to find anything on where the guy could've gone. Not even Weasel with all his sources could find anything, so the only logical explanation they could all come up with was that the man had either died or escaped the country. Or there was Wade's theory of 'he and the ocean fell in love and he will forever live under the sea.'

But either way, they all felt that Aiden Burke was officially allowed to come out of hiding, although not because he wanted to. Apparently, he'd grown rather attached to Bob and his family after staying with them for so long. 

Of course, Wade had made sure to advise Aiden about maybe keeping his security up to date and watching his back a little more closely from now on, but as of currently there wasn't really any reason to keep him in hiding, hence why they were having a pizza party at Wade's place. 

"Isn't he like 40 or something?"

"No, physically I'm pretty sure he's 25." Peter replied, scrolling through his Instagram, leaning against the wall of Ned's apartment building. 

"Woah, really? The scars make him look super old." 

Ned quickly apologised when Peter shot him a look, not exactly happy about how many people judged Wade by scars alone. He didn't think Ned was actually judging Wade by his scars, but he wasn't just going to let his best friend insult his boyfriend, unintentional or not. 

"So just how rich is he?"

"I don't know, Ned. Millionaire probably."

"Do you think his apartment is super expensive?"


"How many superheroes do you think he knows?"

"A few."

"Do you think he knows supervillains?"


"How many cars do you think he has?"

"I don't know."

"Where do you think he keeps all his cars?"

"A garage probably." Peter shrugged.

"Do you think he has all his weapons custom made?"

Peter shrugged again.

"I wonder if he's older than Wolverine."

"Doubt it. Logan is freaking old."

"Is he older than Captain America?"

"Pretty sure he's not." Peter said tiredly, looking up to see a sleek red and black Bugatti pull up to the sidewalk, the window rolling down to reveal Wade, without the red and black mask. Peter didn't know why, but that fact made him happier than it should. 

"Get in losers, we're going shopping." Wade called, making Peter grin. Eat your heart out Flash Thompson, who was in the fancy car now?

"Hey." Peter grinned, letting himself debate his next move for a split second before walking up to the rolled down driver side window to quickly lean down and kiss Wade. He didn't linger long, going around the car to the passenger side, careful not to touch the car anymore then he had to. He didn't want his Parker luck somehow destroying the car by touching it, not with such a pretty and expensive car. 

Ned quickly followed suit, sitting in the back seat of the car as he ogled it. Ned knew sports cars a lot better than Peter did.

He'd always wanted to kiss someone like that. The couples in Aunt May's cheesy romance shows always did that. It still felt weird to think that he and Wade were a couple, and they could do that kind of thing now. Peter wondered if the panicked butterflies he got whenever he got close to Wade would ever go away.

"This is nice." Peter said, taking his mind off his thoughts and sinking into the chair with his backpack resting on his lap, looking around at the nice interior.

"If you think this is nice then you should see the Chiron I own." Wade replied cheekily, smoothly pulling away from the curb and back onto the road. 

"To be honest I don't really know anything about cars, so I have no clue what that means." Peter admitted. The only reason he knew that this was even a Bugatti was because Ned always bragged about the cars he was going to buy when he was rich and famous one day. 

"How do you not know what a Chiron is though? It's like one of the most beautiful cars in the world." Ned gushed, Peter already starting to tune out their words as Wade and Ned both got into a heartfelt discussion about sports cars. 

With Queens starting to fall away into the even denser part of the city, Peter let himself wonder if what they were doing was really the right thing. 

If Evyn was still out there in New York somewhere would it really be safe to let Aiden go out without at least some sort of escort? Would an escort even matter if they ran into Evyn? Wade and Peter still had no way to beat the mutant, seeing as both of them were fairly useless when it came to fighting liquid.

If Evyn really was out there somewhere and decided to come back they'd definitely need better strats than 'slice and dice till we lose.'

It isn't my problem now, it's some other superhero's villain-problem now. So long as Evyn isn't in New York then I don't have to do anything but give Stark a heads up.

He had better things to worry about now, like a new boyfriend and a new school year. He couldn't let past problems trip him up now.


"It's so weird being at a party where people actually know you and want you to be here." Ned commented, his eyes on the game of Smash Bros that was currently happening.

Weasel, Wade, Phillip and Bob's wife were apparently the ultimate Smash Bros masters, and watching them play free for all was a great honour.

"It's more like a weird barbeque or potluck." Peter joked, taking another large bite of pizza, picked up from a heavenly good local place that Bob knew.

If Peter had learned anything, it was that Bob not only was the best cook of the group, but also knew some of the best places in town. A true foodie to set all the others to shame.

"Well, whatever it is, I'm glad we're not back to spending our weekends like losers." Ned said cheerfully, Peter halfheartedly humming in agreement.

"Hey Peter, can I talk to you?"

Peter and Ned both looked up in surprise to see Aiden Burke, Peter once again reminded just how close in age they must be, with Peter being the younger one too.

"Um yeah, sure- uh, what'd you want to talk to me about?" Peter asked awkwardly, getting up from where he'd been sitting next to Ned to follow Aiden towards the kitchen where nobody was currently in.

He was wary at first, but he didn't think Aiden was one to go after Peter like a criminal would, and even if it was some elaborate assassination, there was no way the current circumstances could possibly work out for an assassin. He had no reason to kill Peter anyways. But that did beg the question of what did the kid want?

"Well, I wanted to thank you. For saving me I mean. And you don't have to say anything, I know it was you and I won't tell a soul, but I wanted to thank you personally for willingly putting yourself at such a risk to protect someone you didn't even know. I can never repay you for what you've done, but I will be eternally grateful to you." Aiden stated, his eyes filled with just as much thanks as his words.

Peter was shocked speechless for a second, completely caught off guard by being confronted as Peter for something he'd done as Spider-man.

"I don't know what to say, I'm honoured." Peter stammered, going red with all these compliments.

"It's the people like you that the world needs more of. You are by far one of the greatest heroes." Aiden continued, smiling at him and making Peter feel completely detached from his usual 'just doing my job' Spidey routine. He hadn't been thanked like this as Peter before.

"Thank you for being so grateful I guess. It's not often I get to talk to the people I've saved." Peter tried, nervously laughing and hoping someone would interrupt this awkward conversation.

"Don't worry about it, I won't hold you against your will for much longer." Aiden reassured, instead, reaching in his pocket, making Peter wary again before he had to remind himself that Aiden couldn't be a threat.

"This ring used to belong to my mother and she gave it to me before she passed away. It's kind of been my lucky charm over the years, but after what's happened, I think you could probably use it more than I do." Aiden said, offering the pretty silver ring over to Peter, the simple yet beautiful sapphires catching the light just right.

"No no no, I couldn't possibly take something so important from you--"

"Nonsense. It is no secret that the money my father gave me was very little, and I cannot afford to pay you back for what you have done for me yet, but take this ring as a promise. That one day when I can rebuild my family's name that I will share a portion of that wealth with you. Think of the ring as safekeeping until I can fully repay you." Aiden insisted, gently taking Peter's hand and placing the ring in his palm.

"Aiden I swear to you I'm the worst klutz, I'm probably going to misplace it if you give it to me, it really is safer with you." Peter tried again, wondering if the ring was secretly bugged or something.

"What happens to the ring is of small importance to me. It is knowing that I've done at least something for you, even if it is only a promise for now, that is why I am giving you the ring." Aiden said honestly, Peter carefully placing the ring in his pocket, trying to discretely make sure there were no holes in said pocket just to be on the safe side.

"I will not forget the second chance you have given me Parker, my only request is that you allow me to give you this one thing in return." Aiden murmured, Peter simply nodding in his way of agreement.

"Until the future then." Peter said with a somewhat awkward brightness to the words, unsure of how he should be taking all of this.

He wasn't completely trusting of Aiden, but he could believe the fact that Aiden was grateful to Peter for saving his life. He'd had lots of people thank him before as Spider-man, but it was a different experience without the mask. It felt more genuine, or maybe that was just the genuine-ity of Aiden's thanks. He wasn't sure to be honest.

But as he watched Aiden walk out of the room he knew one thing for certain.

He never wanted to stop doing what he could to help people. Knowing that at least a couple, or even one person, felt the same way Aiden did then he never ever wanted to stop giving people second chances at living.

Because even if he was just Peter, he still had people looking up to him and doing their best to save people too. Getting to be Spider-man and knowing that what he did was making such an impact on people was all he needed to keep doing it.

Even without the promise of better things to come in the future, he would do it all again for as many people as possible.

Because that had to be one of the greatest gifts he'd been given when he got the spider bite: the ability to believe he could make a difference.

Strip away the suit and the powers and he'd still do his best to protect this city and bring some positivity back to the streets. Because saving someone's day could be as simple as a compliment, he didn't need to save anybody from a burning building or stop a mugger just to help people.

What he'd done for Aiden could've been just as easily done as his normal self. He didn't have to have superpowers to have the desire to protect people, it had been his will to help people that had kept him from moving that night, not his desire to be a hero.

"Are you done having whatever epiphany you're having?"

Peter snapped back to reality, turning his gaze from the microwave he'd been staring at, to Wade instead. Who of course was sitting right there next to him on the counter, startling him in only a way that Wade could manage.

"Yeah, thought up the cure to cancer. Why? Did you need something?" Peter retorted, pouring himself a cup of cherry Pepsi since he was already here, trying to resist the urge to smile when Wade started poking him with his foot.

"Yeah actually. What was the Aiden kid talking to you about?" Wade asked, Peter easily recognising what was happening here.

"You're jealous." Peter stated in amusement, watching with glee when Wade just rolled his eyes and tried to play it off.

"I'm not jealous, I'm just curious what he was talking to you about. He doesn't know you, remember?" Wade said, Peter still not missing the way Wade's face tinted red ever so slightly, but he'd let it go this one time.

"He figured out I'm Spider-man somehow and wanted to thank me for saving his life." Peter said a little more quietly, not wanting anyone else to overhear his secret.

He still wasn't sure about Weasel knowing, and Bob and his wife definitely didn't know, so the fact that Aiden knew was really puzzling.

"Smart kid." Wade commented, obviously impressed by it, whereas Peter was still just kind of panicking about his cover being blown. Thankfully he felt like he could trust Aiden with that much. He seemed like a good kid.

"So you weren't jealous? Not even a little bit?" Peter asked, raising his eyebrows at Wade who just raised his non-existent eyebrows back, waggling them when Peter didn't say anything else.

"Little jealous." Wade admitted after a second, earning a swift kiss from Peter.

"So I get rewarded for being a possessive dick? I'll have to remember that." Wade quipped, Peter playfully punching him in the arm for the comment.

"And now you're abusing me. Someone call the police!" Wade cried, Peter trying to cover Wade's mouth with his hands when a couple of people started glancing over at them.

"You're going to make us suspicious." Peter complained jokingly, purposefully pulling them to a part of the kitchen that was a little more difficult to see.

"Careful, I might take that as a challenge." Wade said seriously, Peter shaking his head in amusement.

"I hate you sometimes."

"You know you love me.

"Stockholm syndrome."

"I can work with that."

"Shut up."

"It doesn't work if you smile when you say it."


Chapter Text



Aunt May stared at him with one hand on her hip, eyebrows raised.

Peter stared back in slight panic, he wasn't used to coming home to this, and the way she was looking at him was as if she already knew he was going to get in major trouble, she just wanted him to explain whatever he had done to her. 

"What's going on..?" Peter ventured, earning an exasperated sound from May, having to follow her when she walked further into the house ranting about rebellious teenagers. Peter wasn't a teenager anymore, thanks. Although he definitely wasn't telling her that. 

"Ned's mom called me about two hours ago saying that she saw you kissing your supposed uber driver." May stated, dropping on to the couch in distress.

"O-h." Peter said weakly, not really having any excuse for that one. 

"So do you have something to tell me then?" Aunt May asked, looking at him expectantly.

He wanted to tell her everything and just be done with it, but he knew that he couldn't do that. It would be selfish to just throw the 'I'm Spider-man' card out and then have her worry about him all the time. He didn't want to cause her any more stress when he knew for a fact that she was already concerned about college funds and scholarships. 

"I have a boyfriend." Peter said faintly, hoping that saying this much would be enough to ease his guilty conscience for just a little while longer.

"You have a boyfriend." Aunt May repeated in disbelief, Peter knowing that in any other circumstance this would probably be funny.

"Surprise, I'm bi?" Peter offered, doing his best to smile but pretty sure it just looked like he was constipated. 

"Peter that's not the part that bothers me, it's the part where you got a boyfriend and you never told me. Didn't you think I'd at least want to meet him before you guys go elope or something?" May moaned, Peter completely scandalised at the idea of him and Wade eloping. They'd just gotten together, no need for marriage just yet. There was still a year left till that.

"Yeah I know, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It only happened like two days ago though." Peter said, not really knowing how to tell her that she'd already met Wade. She hadn't exactly been disapproving of Wade per say, but Peter could imagine that she probably wasn't going to like it very much.  

"You used to tell me everything." She sighed overdramatically, making a face at him. This was more what Peter could handle, serious atmospheres were never his thing. 

"I wasn't really sure what you would think." Peter admitted, still a little unsure of what she would think. 

Should he wait to tell her it was Wade? Or should he just get this over with and suffer through the stressful conversation that it was bound to be. He didn't think she would ground him or try and force them apart or anything, Aunt May had never been someone to do that kind of thing, but he was rather worried that she might start freaking out about it. Once again, he didn't want to bring her any more stress. But if it was something that she was going to know about eventually anyway?

Usually, when Peter hid things from her it was only because they were associated with Spider-man. But Wade was the exception in the fact that he was involved in both of Peter's lives, the one as Peter and the one as Spider-man. Which left him at an awkwardly angled crossroads. 

If he told Aunt May that he was dating Deadpool then she'd naturally be worried about him and she'd in one way or another think he was involved in the superhero world anyway, even if it was just as being Wade's boyfriend. Would it bring her less stress to know he was Spider-man?

At least as Spider-man she would know he could properly defend himself. 

But was he really going to out himself over something like this? After all of this time? His original plan was to tell her sometime around his graduation of high school, that way the whole threatening college problem could be replaced with the 'my nephew goes around fighting supervillains and criminals in spandex' problem. 

"May?" Peter started, gaining her attention but clamming up before he could say anything. 

He wanted to tell her, he wanted to tell her so much, but he knew the time wasn't right, not yet. He couldn't drop the bombshell that he was dating Wade and he was Spider-man all in one night. That was too much. 

"I'm dating Wade, the guy who I went to Olive Garden with." Peter confessed, the confession sounding lacklustre compared to 'I'm Spider-man.' But he couldn't tell her. Not tonight. Not tonight.

Haven't I lied to her enough already? Why can't I just let this off my chest for once? All these years of lying, to be finally able to tell her. 

It wasn't that Peter had had these thoughts before. He had thought about it a lot when he'd first gotten the powers. He really had used to tell her everything, and the spider-skillset had been one of the first big things to go unsaid. 

But the lying was becoming so much to bear recently, too much. 

"You're dating Wade, as in Deadpool?"

Peter nodded, going to sit down on the floor by the couch, leaning back against the coffee table uncomfortably. Wade's coffee table was more comfortable to lean against, they should see about getting a new one. 

"Well, to say that I didn't see it coming would be a lie, but you know I've got to ask, why him? You've always seemed interested in the smart and sweet girls, and now a mercenary?" Aunt May asked him, Peter smiling a little at the fact she was trying her best not to be disapproving. 

"Ex-mercenary. And he is smart and sweet, he's- he's- I don't know, he just kind of has every characteristic I need in somebody else. Intelligent, funny, invincible, kind, and we're just-" Peter paused for a moment, trying to think of a word that fit them. "-compatible." He decided. And they were compatible. They fit like two pieces of a puzzle, two halves of a puzzle even. 

"And you need him to be invincible why exactly?" Aunt May asked in confusion, Peter panicking for a hot second. 

"Just because- I mean, why would invincible be a bad thing? It's just a good characteristic to have in another person." Peter said quickly.

Besides, it wasn't like it was illogical for a normal person to like someone who was invincible. Who wouldn't like having their significant other actually able to conquer death repeatedly? It just happened to be more important to Peter seeing as he was Spider-man. 

"So you're really over the moon for this guy then." Aunt May more stated than asked, Peter feeling shy all of a sudden. He didn't usually talk crushes with Aunt May all that much, and he'd never had a crush like Wade before, not at least a crush that pursued him first and managed to catch Peter off guard like he had, not to mention the fact he wasn't female.

"But Peter you have to know that I'm worried. I mean, he may be an 'ex-mercenary' but he still is going to have a lot of enemies, and while he might be invincible, you are not." Aunt May said gently, Peter feeling guilty again.

He may not be invincible, but he was a lot more invincible than the average human being. 

"I'm not totally fragile either." Peter countered, knowing he was going to be treading a very thin line here. He knew for a fact that his will to keep secrets from Aunt May was running very low tonight, and just a little bit of a push might push him over the edge and have him spilling secrets he wasn't ready to share just yet. 

"I know you aren't, but you're still my kid, okay? If something happened to you that I could've helped prevent then you know I'm going to at least try. Now I'm not saying I disapprove of Wade, because in all honesty, he seems like a good person, but the people he probably knows are not going to be good people. Peter, you have to know that before you go into this relationship blind." Aunt May sighed, the guilt gnawing away at him like an angry starved hamster stuck in his stomach. 

"Maybe I know some bad people too, and that's why I need Wade to be as invincible as much as I do." Peter said quietly, knowing with his Parker luck the first cute and innocent girl he went out with would most likely get captured and killed in the blink of an eye.

"What do you mean by that? Did you get in trouble with someone? Multiple someones?" May asked quickly, making Peter shake his head just as fast, hating the fact that all he ever did was lie and lie and lie. 

Why can't I just tell her?

"Y'know, I think I'm going to head out and go get something to eat, maybe go to McDonald's or something." Peter said with a fake smile, knowing that if he stayed any longer then he was definitely going to say something he shouldn't.

"Peter it's eight at night, what are you talking about?" Aunt May asked incredulously, Peter already having a destination in mind that wasn't McDonald's. 

"Yeah, and I'm hungry. I'll text Ned and see if he wants anything too, maybe go over there for a little bit. Last few days of freedom, you know?" Peter said, throwing up his hands a little bit to emphasise. 

"Well, I guess, but you just got back..?"

"Bye Aunt May! I'll be back late, don't wait up for me!"

And with that, Peter shut the door behind him, practically running to the stairs and taking them as fast as possible. 

He needed to get out of there. 

It felt like all the lying was starting to suffocate him, and having her worry about him being too fragile to even be with Wade was making this whole crisis so much worse. 

If he told her he was Spider-man then she would go completely ballistic. If she was worried about the bad people Wade knew then she was going to get a real kick out of the people that wanted Peter dead. She hated him even walking too close the edge of the sidewalk, but if he told her that he swings through the city all the time? Or that he could avoid bullets with just his senses? 

Peter could already imagine the conversation about how often he got hurt. She knew he got beat up sometimes, she just didn't know who did it. He remembered one night Aunt May had been insisting that his leg didn't look right and he'd just had to keep telling her that it felt fine when in actuality he had broken it that night.

If she knew then she'd probably never sleep again, or let Peter out of the house again. She'd most likely ground him for life for not saying anything over all these years. 

Legal adult and he was freaking out over his Aunt grounding him. Pathetic. 

Peter buried his hands in his pockets and kept walking, wondering if he could get away with using his web shooters out of costume. He doubted it, but it was fun to think about. 

Why did everything have to be so complicated? Couldn't everything just be simple black and white like how he'd thought it was as a kid? But now it was as though all the world was just grey, full of people who robbed the cash for their family, or were killing because someone killed those they loved, or selling drugs because they'd never been able to get any other job that paid them well enough. 

When you were Spider-man you had to handle the situation with a certain understanding that not everything was as it seems. Sometimes you had to make tough decisions, and he'd grown accustomed to making those tough decisions, but he was starting to doubt he'd ever be able to tell his Aunt about being Spider-man. He didn't know if he really wanted to make that particular decision. How was he meant to tell her something like this? Something she most likely wouldn't understand? Something that might emotionally hurt her?

Was he really ready to face a truth that he'd been hiding and hiding from for what felt like his whole life?

There was no real point in thinking about it now, not when he'd already covered so much ground away from the apartment, but knowing her, she'd probably wait up for him to get back home, and then maybe he could finally get all this off his chest. 

But for now, he wanted to forget he was Peter Parker for a little while. 

"Weasel." Peter greeted, walking into the bar happily like he'd been going there just as long as everybody else there. Weasel offering him a wave without even glancing over as Peter sat down at the bar. 

He could see why Wade liked it here, even if the place usually was kind of dirty and grimy. It had a certain urban charm-- if that was the right word-- to it that Peter didn't think you'd find anywhere else. 

Not to mention the fact everyone here had bucketloads of cash, and for someone who could play pool like Peter could, this was a very good place to be. 

After a few minutes, Weasel brought him a Sprite, saying he'd add it to Peter's tab, even though Peter offered him cash for it. It was sometimes funny how considerate Weasel could be while still being a sarcastic bastard at the same time. 

A lot of the same people were here every night it would seem. Peter had only been here three times in total now, but he still saw the dark haired girl with the shot glasses scattered about by her side of the bar, and still saw the guy who was somewhere between 'big guy' and 'hulk' levels of body weight and muscle, then of course there was the blonde hooker who always hung closer to the exit. 

The place seemed timeless in a weird way.

And Peter was finding he really enjoyed coming here to be just another over-exaggerated character among the many. 

"Well if it isn't the sharpshooter." 

Peter glanced up to see Paul and Richie, the two guys Peter had played pool with before. They hadn't exactly been happy to lose last time, but Peter didn't think they'd be the kind of people to start a fight with somebody like him. And if they were, well, they'd learn that was a mistake. 

"You guys want a rematch?" Peter asked happily, slightly on edge and ready for punches to be thrown any second now. 

"$500 says you can't beat me this time." Paul challenged, Peter just grinning, already planning what he was going to do with that cash when he got it. 

"You're on." Peter said, taking the pool cue he was given.

There were several skills he'd gained due to the spider bite, but his ungodly talent of pool wasn't one of them. This particular skill came from way too much free time and way too much math. Oh, how he was cursed with such unbearable intelligence.

It hardly took Peter very long to win, offering Paul a redo before he practically stole the cash. And when Paul took it he won that too.

"You have to be cheating." Paul accused, handing Peter the money anyways, even as he complained.

"Nope, just stayed in school." Peter said cheekily, adding the nice crisp new hundreds to his wallet.

Pretty soon he'd played three more people and had enough cash to get Ned one of the fancy computer chips he wanted for the prototype suit. Peter could practically live comfortably off the cash he won whenever he came here.

The only problem with this money-grab strategy was that not everyone was happy when you remained victorious.

"No, I'm not giving you anything. You're cheating."

Peter blinked up at the guy who at least had 6" on him, not exactly sure to say as the man crossed his arms, glaring down at Peter.

"Well, uh, sorry you feel that way, but I can assure you it's all just simple geometry." Peter stated, unsure if he should just let this go or not. He couldn't exactly demand the guy give Peter his money, but then again he'd look like a pushover if he didn't and people would most likely continue to treat him as one.

However, he didn't want to cause any fights either.

"Give the kid his money, loser." 

Peter glanced over to see the dark-haired alcoholic girl he thought had passed out, was now standing and glaring at the tall angry guy.

Oh no.

"You wanna come a little closer and say that to my face, princess?" Angry guy growled, the drunk girl just steadily walking forward till Peter quickly stepped between them. She walked ridiculously fast and straight for a drunk girl.

"Look guys, we can talk this one out! No need for a fight." Peter said cautiously, his hands outstretched a little to keep both of them at bay.

The girl didn't look like she'd be able to exactly fight off Weasel, let alone the angry tall guy. This was going to be an absolute bloodbath if he didn't resolve it somehow.

I knew easy cash would come back to bite me in the  ass .

"Give the kid his money or I'll knock you to the floor before you can even throw the first punch." Drunk girl said lowly, Peter feeling oddly threatened by her even though she was just barely taller than him.

"Make me, whore."

Drunk girl had her arm drawn back in an instant, and the absolute screaming sensation it brought Peter's senses let him know that he had to stop her. He quickly threw up his hand, catching her fist before it could land, the sound it made like a gunshot when their hands made contact.

Peter was going to take a wild guess and say that she wasn't just your typical everyday human, and he may have well just blown his cover.

"You've got a strong arm, kid." Drunk girl said, seeming to be impressed. Although Peter didn't really know why, seeing as he was currently cradling his poor hand. He vaguely wondered if she'd broken it. At least he now knew that she could very much take care of herself.

Usually, when he fought people and caught punches it was like catching a tennis ball thrown by a toddler. There was no effort involved when it came to his strength versus another person's, but it was fairly obvious that this girl would be a challenge even for him. 

Peter quickly ducked as someone threw a bottle, that one action causing an all-out brawl to start up in the small bar. With angry shouts, the sound of stools breaking and Weasel's protests, it was hard to know where exactly he should even go before he spotted Weasel mainly standing behind a pillar by the bar.

"This happen often?" Peter asked, hopping over the bar to where it was much safer, Weasel just giving him an unimpressed look. 

"You're buying me new bar stools when this is over." Weasel muttered, Peter quickly catching a throwing knife before it embedded itself in Weasel's arm. 

"You might wanna stay low." Peter advised, finding that even though this was probably one of the most dangerous places he could be as of right now, he was actually enjoying himself. 

"Yeah, yeah, just get out of here before they realise you're not in that mess." Weasel sighed, standing more behind the pillar that seemed to be his usual place of positioning for when this sort of thing happened. 

"Will do. Just put the stools on Wade's tab." Peter said teasingly, jumping the counter again to make a run for the door.

"It won't ever get paid if I put it on there!" Weasel yelled after him, Peter giving one last wave before he left the noisy bar. 




Chapter Text



[Can we go home yet?]

"No, we have to make sure nobody tries to kill him tonight." Wade replied impatiently, having already answered this question multiple times before. 

(But he obviously isn't dying, so can we go home and sleep already??)

"Nope." Wade yawned, watching the house that had far too many windows for Wade to feel comfortable. You think the kid would at least move once he'd been almost killed in this exact house. 

Received 21:49: I need help.

[(SAVE HIM!!!)] 

Wade was up in a second, staying discrete and unseen be damned. 

Sent 21:49: where are you. who do I need to kill.

Received 21:50: I'm standing outside my apartment building..? 

Received 21:50: Oh, sorry that was way too vague. I'm not in danger or anything, I just need advice. I want to tell my Aunt I'm Spider-man but I don't know if I should or not. 

[He's going to actually kill us.]

(Of all things, he's going to be the one to actually kill us. My god, he better not send something like that again.)

Sent 21:51: oh. uh, what part do you need advice on??

Received 21:51: Idk, like should I even tell her? I don't want her to stress out if she knows, but at the same time I feel guilty for not telling her. And I know she worries about the bruises she sees me with sometimes, but I feel like if I tell her then that worry is just going to become 100x worse.

(Well then.)

Sent 21:52: what made you want to tell her tonight??

Received 21:52: she found out im dating you, and shes worried about bad people who know you will come after me, and i want to reassure her that i can handle something like that, but i cant just tell her im a black belt in several martial art forms and can lift freakin buses. that wouldnt go over well.

(Oooo you know he's stressed when he starts losing hold of his inner English Professor.)

[Or maybe he's just tired. It is almost 10 and he did say he's standing outside his apartment.]

Sent 21:53: so if shes going to be stressed no matter what you do then why not tell her? i dont have a lot of experience with this kind of thing, but if i was in your position id tell her. being spiderman is such a big part of your life and sooner or later youll slip up and shell find out anyway. it might as well be on your watch.

Received 22:53: i guess that makes sense. I still dont knlw though. Ive already hidden this for so long.

Received 22:53: know*

Sent 22:54: i say you tell her, thats my final take on all of this. but if you really think you should continue hiding this from her then be my guest. but whatever you do, at least go inside.

Received 22:54: If I go inside then she'll ambush me with questions about why I left in the first place.

Sent 22:54: and why did you leave in the first place??

Received 22:55: well when I got home she started asking about you since Ned's mom saw me kiss you before we left for your place, so I had to explain to Aunt May that we were dating, and like I said, she got stressed and so I tried to not seem like an easily breakable glass ornament and then she got concerned about the fact i basically said you werent the only one who knew bad people and then i kind of pabicked and left to go get food but instead went to Hellhouse and started a small brawl and now im here outside my apartment.

Sent 22:55: wow, okay. Lets back that crazy train up some. You 'pabicked' and went to hellhouse?! i seriously dont like you going there. theres some bad people there petey, ffs. and secondly, YOU STARTED A BRAWL?! ARE YOU TRYING TO DIE?!

Received 22:56: I meant panicked. And yeah, about that. There was this alcoholic girl there, dark hair, leather jacket, was like maybe an inch taller than me at most, has super strength and ive seen her at Hellhouse three times now. Do you know her?

Sent 22:56: uuuuuUuuUugHhhhhhHhHHHH. Peter you just described to me the spitting image of Jessica Jones. WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?!?!

Received 22:57: It wasn't my fault!!! She was defending me against this one dude because he wasn't going to pay me after a game of pool, so she went to punch him and I caught her punch before she could.

Sent 22:57: are you okay????

Received 22:57: Yeah I'm fine, but I mean it still hurt like hell. Pretty sure she broke several bones in my hand, but I was more concerned over the fact I might've just outed myself to everyone.

Sent 21:58: even if you did 'out' yourself it wouldnt make them think youre spiderman just because of that. theyd probably just think youre another mutant with super strength or something. mutants come in every now and again, take me and jessica jones for example.

Received 21:58: Yeah, I guess. Where are you right now? I was kind of hoping to see you there tonight. I didn't wake you up by texting you did I?

Sent 21:59: no you didnt wake me up, and usually if you want someone to be somewhere, you do this thing where you text or call them, and then they respond and will tell you the details of where theyll be.

Received 21:59: Yeahyeahyeah, so whatre you doing right now then?

Sent 21:59: im currently watching over Aiden Burke's house like a guardian angel stalker.

Received 22:00: Oh, thanks for doing that. Do you want me to come join you?

Sent 22:00: no offence Petey, but if you were here im pretty sure i wouldnt be able to properly watch Aiden.

Received 22:00: oh. 

[He's so cute when he forgets he's hot]

(To be fair we know how to stays serious and get work done.)


"Going to have to agree with White on this one." Wade joked, making sure Aiden was still undisturbed. Would it be too weird to just hang out in his house? This balcony was uncomfortable. 

[I mean, I like to think we're professionals too, but we're talking about Peter Parker here, Aiden would probably die because we were too busy snogging spidey.]

(Yeah but Peter would stay professional.)

[Don't know if you've noticed, but Peter has a pretty tough time keeping his hands to himself as well.]

For Wade, that was one of the weirdest things about this whole ordeal. 

Peter actually liked him for him, and didn't judge him by his skin or by his past. Even with the possibility of Wade going back to old ways, it didn't seem to bother Peter. It felt like he had Peter's complete faith, and that, that was the most terrifying feeling in the world. 

(Don't screw it up, loser.)

[He still doesn't accept the fact that we're a mercenary.]

(We were a mercenary. And is refraining from murder really that bad of an exchange for Peter?)

[But we love murder...]

(We love Peter more.)

[Oh my god you're so dramatic I want to kill myself.]

(Too bad. It's true. We aren't going to blow off Peter just to make some extra spending cash.)

"Yeah, just blow him." Wade added helpfully. 

([Shut up.])

(The adults are talking.)

Received 22:03: That's a good thing.. right?

Sent 22:03: for Aiden? no. For me? hell yes. 

Received 22:04: lol, just checking. Am I really that distracting to you?

Sent 22:04: do you want the full details to that answer?? because i could write you an entire pornographic novel if you want.

Received 22:04: oml Wade no XD

Received 22:05: I guess I just don't think about us being like that first since I have this friends first, lovers second kind of mentality.


Received 22:05: no way

Received 22:05: but idk

Received 22:05: I like spending time with you as friends. Us spending time together won't change...right???

(Wowza, he texts fast.)

[Nobody says 'wowza']

(I say wowza, stfu.)

Sent 22:06: im not going to lie to you and say that i dont think about 'non-friend' things. but i dont want that to change our friendship either. so if youre asking about whether or not you can come over on saturday to watch Steven Universe and order Denny's with me, then yes, you are invited. 

Received 22:06: Yes, everything I've said thus far was just to score that invitation lol.

Sent 22:07: i am serious though, i want to keep this friendship dynamic thing we have around too.

Received 22:07: Okay, I know this is going to sound stupid, and you're going to laugh at me, but what do couples even do?

Sent 22:07: you act like i know. i say we just wing it and do whatever the hell we want.

Received 22:08: Lol I'm serious though. Are we supposed to plan dates? Do we go parading around parks making out on benches? Come up with weird pet names? Do you think they would let me take you to the prom?

Sent 22:08: we can plan dates if you want, although most my awesome ideas involve you and my bed. AND PLEASE TAKE ME TO YOUR PROM.

Received 22:08: I don't know if I'm exactly ready for 'me and your bed' yet, and if you try anything I will kill you, just an fyi. But basically what I've gotten out of this is that we're completely winging it.

Sent 22:09: ay ay cap'n. should i have some sort of rule sheet here about what i can and cant do? lol.

Received 22:09: Great idea. First rule is no doing new things without my permission.

Sent 22:09: i was kidding, and whats considered a new thing? is making out on the couch a new thing??

Received 22:09: No, making out on the couch is fine. But no weird touching until I say so.

Sent 22:09: define weird [Eyes emoji]

Received 22:10: ffs. No sexual advancements unless I say so.

Sent 22:10: oooo dominatrix.

Received 22:10: Dominatrix would imply I was female.

Sent 22:10: then whats the male version of a dominatrix?

Received 22:11: You're asking me? Like I frickin know. Probably just a Dominant or Dom.

Sent 22:11: i knew you were into bdsm. youre secretly super kinky, i just know it.

Received 22:11: omw no. MJ just went through a really weird phase one time and Ned and I made the mistake of asking.

Sent 22:11: i remember that. im pretty sure the whole thing was weasels fault to begin with.

Received 22:12: Just how well do you know my best friend?!?!

Sent 22:12: well i mean not super well. But we are friends, and i do think shes awesome so i tend to hang out with her more. And phillip has been crushing for who even knows how long, so i kinda have to know her you know?

Received 22:13: If you've known her for so long then did you know about me before you even met me??

Sent 22:13: ill admit i had heard things about you from her, although not that you were spidey or anything, i figured that out on my own. and she only ever called you Peter, so it wasnt like i knew you were THE Peter until you'd brought MJ up, although Ned was a major puzzle piece there.

Received 22:13: I still can't believe MJ knew you this whole time and never said anything.

Sent 22:14: i asked her not to tell people about it for her own safety. although i wouldve figured shed at least tell you guys. she can be very mysterious and secretive sometimes.

Received 22:14: I honestly wouldn't be surprised if she was some super hero that neither of us had ever heard of.

Sent 22:14: oh god no, dont make me paranoid. i worry about that kid enough as it is.

Received 22:14: awww you worry about MJ??

Sent 22:15: that kid is like a little sister to me, if something happened to her then idk what id do but it wouldnt be good.

Received 22:15: thats kind of weird since I see her as a sister too. Thats like we're related.

Sent 22:15: not incest unless its genetic.

Received 22:15: ew gross, I beg to differ.

Sent 22:16: think about it. do you even know how many half siblings out there probably screw in secret to get back at their super dopey and lovey previously divorced parents?

Received 22:16: um, that was oddly specific. And I would really rather not know, but thanks for the offer. And it doesn't matter if it's genetic or not, if you were raised like siblings it's just weird.

Sent 22:16: what about Iris West and Barry Allen? hm?

Received 22:16: I don't ship them.

Sent 22:17: you probably ship julian and barry dont you.

Received 22:17: I never said that.

Sent 22:17: you didnt have to.

Received 22:17: They would be a good team...

Sent 22:17: when they arent constantly arguing and when julian isnt being a jerk?

Received 22:17: We bicker a lot and I don't see you complaining.

Sent 22:18: are you implying that one of us is the jerk? because im pretty sure it isnt me lolol [Backhand Index Pointing Left emoji] [Grinning squinting face emoji] [Backhand Index Pointing Left emoji]

Received 22:18: Yeah yeah whatever. Anything weird happen with Aiden? Any reason to be worried?

Sent 22:18: no and there probably wont be tbh. i think we've seen the last of Evyn egerton in New York. theres still been no sign of him.

Received 22:19: So... why are you there then?

Sent 22:19: i wouldnt put it past evyn to put out a hit on Aiden from halfway across the world, so im just making sure nothing happens. although its not like i can really stop a sniper, so yknow. 

Received 22:19: No? I don't know? How do we protect someone from snipers?!

Sent 22:19: lol chill, i dont really think evyn would hire a sniper. he prob would wanna do it himself. and evyn has always been an up close and personal guy, he likes the knives and stuff, close range killing.

Received 22:20: Okay you know what I really don't want to know. I'm just going to continue letting you do what you do. 

Sent 22:20: for a superhero you don't handle violence very well. although you still seem to not be phased at the sight of blood, youre just weird.

Received 22:20: I don't exactly mind violence, it's more that I'd rather not like thinking about all the ways that poor guy could be killed. And as for blood, you forget I'm Spider-Man, I have a secret identity to keep and a healing ability that does eventually kick in, which means no hospitals and occasionally homemade stitches. You lose your fear of blood fairly quickly to keep yourself from dying. 

Sent 22:21: doesnt stark ever help you? 

Received 22:21: I don't like being a burden to people. Especially him. 

Sent 22:21: im pretty sure he wouldnt find keeping you alive a burden.

Received 22:21: Well it feels like it. And as much as I appreciate Stark's help, I'd really rather not endure a lecture while I'm slowly bleeding out in some Stark reserved hospital room.

Sent 22:21: yeah okay that doesnt sound fun. 

Received 22:22: Bleeding out on my bathroom floor is more preferable.

Sent 22:22: bet that sucks to clean up.

Received 22:22: You're giving me war flashbacks.

Wade paused as he saw that he'd gotten another message, this time not from Peter, but from his Aunt. 

Received 22:22: Is Peter with you?

Wade had to shake his head a little at the text message. Peter was one lucky kid to have an Aunt that worried about him. Wade would have given the world to have that when he was younger, hell, he would've given the world to have that now. 

Sent 22:22: hey we've been talking for a while, you gone inside yet?

Received 22:23: No...why..?

Sent 22:23: lol go inside petey, go confront your poor worried sick aunt. 

Received 22:23: What do you mean?

Sent 22:23: she just texted me asking if you were with me, and im pretty sure if i tell her youre not then she's going to completely flip out. 

Received 22:23: How tf do you have my aunt's phone number?

Sent 22:23: how tf did I get your number? 

Received 22:23: ... 

Received 22:24: I'm going to tell her, about me being Spider-Man.

Sent 22:24: goodluck [Kissing face with closed eyes emoji, red heart emoji, yellow heart emoji, green heart emoji, blue heart emoji, purple heart emoji]

Received 22:24: Good luck watching Aiden [Kissing face with smiling eyes emoji]

Sent 22:24: awwwww i got you to use an emoji X3

Received 22:24: lol it's not like I have a personal vendetta against emojis, I can use them.

Sent 22:24: yeah but it was so cutttte.

Received 22:25: Okay lol, I'm going to go now...

Sent 22:25: byee cutieee

Received 22:25: Bye dork [Squinting face with tongue emoji 5x]

Sent 22:25: see you sometime later X3

Received 22:26: Yup.

Sent 22:26: text me later?

Received 22:26: mhm, byeeee, i am climbing the stairs to my apartmentttt.

(Do it!)

[Just do it!]

(Don't let your dreams be dreams!!)

Sent 22:26: love you.

Received 22:27: Love you too, goodnight [Red heart emoji]

Sent 22:27: goodnight!! [Kissing face with closed eyes emoji 3x]

Chapter Text



Peter had to take a few moments to calm down after texting Wade, all the while feeling like some lame school girl with a crush.

He wasn't a child or anything, he knew he probably shouldn't be this excited, and it wasn't like Wade had asked to marry him or something, but he did say the L word. And Peter got to say it back(!).

So taking a small break before walking into the apartment to face Aunt May was completely understandable, thank you very much.

Peter let out a long excitement-stressed exhale before working up the guts to walk into the apartment, making sure to be super quiet about everything just in case she'd decided to go to slee-


"Aunt May!" Peter exclaimed way too cheerfully, turning to see her standing in the doorway to the kitchen, holding a mug of hot chocolate in one hand.

"We're not going to be done talking until you tell me exactly what is going on with you. First you drop the bombshell that you're dating a mercenary-"


"-and now you're abruptly leaving the apartment late at night just because you feel like a trip to McDonald's. Peter it's dangerous out there and McDonalds is hardly nearby, so do you mind telling me exactly what was going through your head tonight?" Aunt May asked, using that tone of voice that let Peter know he had stepped into some serious crap that he wasn't going to be able to just brush this off or change the topic, but he could try.

"Well, I've actually been wanting to tell you something. But- well- just please don't freak out?" Peter stammered, not exactly sure where to go from that point.

"Okaaay, you aren't doing drugs or anything, riggght?" Aunt May asked cautiously, Peter giving her an offended look as if he would ever do that.

"Well, the reason I've been kind of antsy lately, is I've been wanting to tell you that I'm Spider-man." Peter said, feeling like he'd just admitted to murder with the way his heart rate picked up.

Way to just spit it out Parker.

He couldn't help himself though. He needed to get this secret off his chest. He needed her to finally know about something that was such a big part of him, and maybe even realise that her innocent and naive nephew could stand up for himself. 

"You're Spider-man..?" Aunt May asked dubiously, obviously not buying it. Well, there were ways to fix that.

Peter jumped, easily catching the ceiling by his fingertips to simply hang there, watching with worry as Aunt May's face went to slightly worried, to complete panic.

"Oh my god."

Peter let go of the ceiling, lightly landing on his feet to take a cautious step towards her, unsure of how exactly she'd react. Lots of people did crazy things when they were in shock, and he didn't want to somehow ruin Aunt May's entire perception of him somehow.

"You okay?" Peter asked quietly, taking the mug of hot chocolate away from her before she dropped it in shock. She certainly looked like she was about to.

"You're Spider-man." She stated in disbelief, looking like she was about to burst into tears any second, which Peter really hoped was not the case because human emotions were so far beyond his comprehension.

"Yeah, I'm Spider-man." He reaffirmed, guiding her to the couch and sitting next to her as she simply stared at him like she was seeing a completely different person.

"The man who took down Tony Stark's plane, you were the one that stopped him?" She asked helplessly, Peter seeing the heartbreak there for what it was.

She was probably blaming herself for never noticing, or beating herself up over all the dangerous villains that could have killed him.

This was such a bad idea.

"Yeah, that was the first real bad guy I ever fought." Peter said lightly, trying to play it off like it wasn't such a big deal. He knew she had probably heard of all sorts of things he'd done, and some of the things he'd done the public definitely knew he'd been injured by.

The time he fought Electro and got electrocuted for one, and the other time he'd broken his arm fighting a living statue. That one had been caught on camera, and Peter had to say that watching his own arm shatter on the news was not exactly pleasant. Especially not with the media bashing and mocking you for it.

"Peter you were only 15 back then! You could have died!" Aunt May exclaimed, the tears now present and making the whole situation more uncomfortable for Peter.

"But I didn't die and I saved a lot of people by stopping that guy." Peter reminded her, carefully hugging her and feeling like even the slightest pressure might break her right now.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Aunt May asked quietly, the hurt in her voice breaking Peter's heart into tiny pieces.

"I didn't want you to worry," Peter said lamely, feeling like a selfish prick for actually voicing the opinion. "You already have too much to worry about, I didn't want to just add more to the pile." Peter murmured, hating how guilty this made him feel.

Why had he decided to do this? It was obvious that she was hurt, and it was obvious she was going to worry about him a whole lot more now.

"Sooner or later you'll slip up and she'll find out anyway. It might as well be on your watch."

Peter didn't like it, but Wade was right. He couldn't just hide this secret from her forever and not have her eventually find out through other sources, and at least this way he could tell her on his own terms.

"So the Stark Internship, hm?" She asked dryly, pulling away from Peter to give him an unimpressed look, the light and joking manner of it lost by the fact she still had tears in her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm so so so sorry that I lied to you this whole time, and I'll take whatever punishment you give me. I know you didn't deserve that." Peter sighed, wanting nothing more than to just crawl into a hole and die with how horrible he felt.

"Peter, I'm not going to punish you for not wanting me to worry. Although, for future reference, don't you dare lie to me for that long ever again or I will destroy you. Understand?" Aunt May said sternly, Peter once again reminded that Aunt May wasn't just some weak helpless widow. She'd been through things and this was hardly the worst thing that could have happened to her. She'd tough this one out too.

"Besides, you're 18 now. There isn't a whole lot I can do." She complained in exasperation, Peter raising his eyebrows at that.

"You could kick me out." Peter commented, hoping that they never disagreed so much that it ever got to that point.

"So you could go and live with your 'ex-mercenary' boyfriend? I don't think so mister, but nice try." She said playfully, seeming like maybe she'd recovered from the overall shock of Peter's confession.

"So are we okay now? No grudges or hostilities?" Peter asked worriedly, not liking the thought of Aunt May resenting him for this.

"Well I'm surprised, beyond surprised really, but I'm not mad or disappointed or any of that. I'm more just shocked than anything." Aunt May sighed, obviously not liking being brought back to the main topic.

"Part of me still can't believe it's really you. I mean you've been swinging through Queens and saving the people of New York for years, and now I find out that that person, that hero is you. It just blows my mind." May ran a hand through her hair, a sign that she was thinking, although, about what, Peter wasn't sure.

"I doubt I'm going to be able to convince you to stop being Spider-man." May sighed, Peter unsure what to think about that sentence.

There was no way he could stop being Spider-man now. Not after he'd become such a piece of the city, and with how many people he helped to save? There was no way he'd ever be able to live his life knowing that him being out there could be the only reason a mother didn't lose her son or the reason somebody's dad got to come home safe and alive.

"I can see it on your face that I won't be able to, but maybe that's a good thing. You're saving people." She said fondly, letting out a small sigh as she leaned back into the couch. 

"Couldn't stop if I tried." Peter added quietly, unsure if he should really be talking or if he should just let her process all of this.

He had known she wasn't just going to react like MJ or Wade, and he knew that she had at least suspected something was different with him, but he also knew that she wouldn't have been able to see this one coming. Out of all the things she'd most likely been expecting he knew that it wouldn't have been this. 

"Just promise me you'll be careful, Peter." She said, giving him a stern look that he returned jokingly. 

"I'm always careful for you." Peter stated honestly. Ever since Mr. Stark had taken Peter under his wing Peter had made sure that if anything were ever to happen to him as Spider-man that his Aunt would be well taken care of and protected. He would never abandon her on purpose.

I've been coming awfully close to falling off the face of the earth lately...

"Besides, I've got Tony Stark and Wade Wilson looking out for me. The bad guys can try all they want, but I'm pretty sure Tony Stark has this whole complex under surveillance." Peter joked, not really sure if she'd feel better knowing that or not. 

 "Just be careful."

"I promise I will."


Received 02:01: so how did it go???

Sent 02:02: omF i HATE you. IT IS 2 AM.

Received 02:02: once again im impressed by your ability to wake up from just one text. 

Sent 02:02: I've got high sense.s not to mention my phone si like right next to my head. 

Received 02:03: lol your tired/drunk style texting is the reason i continue living. 

Sent 02:03: well tgats lovely and all, but if this becomes a CONTINUEOUS THING THEN THERE WILL BE ISSUES WITH YOU LIVING.

Received 02:03: yeayeayeayea, now tell me what happened with your aunt.

Sent 02:03: i told her and then she was like yeah and we watfched her weird netflix show that you and me ade fun of that one time. the end.

Received 02:03: you are so cute.

Sent 02:04: stfu i am beyonnnd tied, an you keep waking me up at unreasonab DO YOU EVEN SLEEP? like serioustl, you keep waking me up at these times of night and are you stil watchin Adrien?

Received 02:04: yes, i am still watchin' "Adrien".

Sent 02:04: shut up i meant to say adrien.

Sent 02:04: i mean adren.

Sent 02:05: shit.

Received 02:05: oi this is a no cursing zone! think of the children!!!

Sent 02:05: screw the children. why are you like a this.

Received 02:05: lol, you mean why do i keep waking you up at 2am? because its incredibly fun watching you struggle to comprehend the english language and answer questions i ask you.

Sent 02:06: youre a rude person. 

Received 02:06: so i've been told. describe me in three words.

Sent 02:06: dick prick polla.

Received 02:06: did you just call me a dick in spanish? baby boy i didnt know you were bilingual!!!

Sent 02:07: its highschool spansih. not like its going to be super spanish.

Sent 02:07: how many languages do you know?

Received 02:07: well im pretty rusty in some of them, but the full list includes: spanish, french, german, swahili, xhosa, italian, russian and portuguese. 

Received 02:07: and english obviously.

Sent 02:07: why tf you know xhosa??

Received 02:08: very helpful whenever you go to Wakanda. 

Sent 02:08: you went to wakanda???

Received 02:08: kind of. they didnt really want me there.

Sent 02:08: woaaaaaaaaaaaah whats it like? 

Sent 02:08: are the buildings really styled to the environment? 

Sent 02:08: Have you met King T'Challa? 

Sent 02:08: Do they really train rhinos? 

Sent 02:09: Telll meeeee.

Received 02:09: well then.

Received 02:09: the buildings were all styled like the style of the landscape, i have met t'challa but it was in combat and he took some serious skin off my arm with those claws, i havent seen any rhinos personally, but im fairly sure they train them, and how do you type so fast.

Sent 02:09: idk. That mustve been so awesome to see. One day im going to go there, take a ton of pictures. 

Received 02:09: maybe i could take you some time?

Sent 02:10: they would let you back in?

Received 02:10: i could work something out.

Sent 02:10: as soon as you're legal to go then we can talk about honeymooning in wakanda.

Received 02:10: honeymooning huh?

Sent 02:10: i meant that like a joke kinda thing.

Received 02:11: mhmmmmm.

Sent 02:11: no marraige yet. weve been dating for like

Sent 02:11: not very long.

Received 02:11: so you wouldn't want to be married in Wakanda?

Sent 02:12: financially that would probably be a bad idea. and we'd have to fly the people we want out there. 

Received 02:12: private jet?

Sent 02:12: we arent getting married yet, chill. i dont like talking about important stuff when im tired. 

Received 02:12: what do you want to talk about then?

Peter bit his lip a minute, wondering if he should bring up more issues when his plate was already so full. 

Calling: Crazy Psycho...


Peter hummed in response, keeping his voice low as he carefully made his way out of his warm bed to go to the window, carefully sliding it open so that he could climb the couple of feet up to the roof, making sure that Aunt May wouldn't hear him and wake up. 

"We need to talk." Peter stated, crossing his fingers and praying that Wade wouldn't hear that and immediately hang up.

"Ohhhkaaay, what do we have to talk about? Is it the wedding thing? Because I'm not going to propose to you or anything, I know that's like super in the distance."

"No, it's not that. It's about Yvette." Peter sighed, not even sure what it was he was wanting from bringing up this topic. 

He knew that he wanted some sort of clarification that, should something like that happen again, Wade wouldn't end up killing more people, good or bad. Peter didn't want these deaths over his head like this, because when Wade killed someone, that was on Wade, but if Wade killed someone for Peter? That felt like it was on Peter. 

"Baby boy I would give anything to take back that bullet-"

"The problem isn't that simple Wade. I need to know that if another Yvette situation happens, you won't kill them." Peter interrupted, knowing this was going to be a painful conversation for them both at this rate.

A pause.

"I can't promise anything like that, but I can promise I'll try." 

But was that enough? Peter wasn't a fool, he knew that no matter how many times Wade promised he would try not to kill anyone it would still weigh on Peter's conscience as Yvette died and it's your fault, but Peter still felt like there was more to this whole situation than just an apology. 

Yvette had just been some confused 20 something who just happened to have some twisted views on how justice should be distributed. Peter knew guys like that and he was friends with them, or, well, as friendly as one could be with someone like Frank Castle. 

"This isn't just a phase, right? This isn't just something you say so that you can get with me...right?" Peter asked weakly, feeling like he definitely should have planned to have this conversation in person. Curse his 2 AM thoughts. 

"I'm not saying you'd do that to me- I just- I really don't want you to start killing again if you do decide to leave." Peter said earnestly, knowing that if Wade ended up leaving him to start killing again, it would still feel like Peter held the guilt for every new count to the confirmed kill list. 

 "Peter I swear to you, I might be a bad guy, but I would never ever abuse your trust like that. And I might regret this later, but I promise you I won't kill anyone unless it is absolutely necessary." 

Peter could hear the honesty in Wade's voice, easily settling the worry and stress weighing on him.

"Thank you." Peter said, feeling like the words didn't really express the full gratitude he felt.

Yvette Cross would probably always be someone that would burden his conscience, just like all the other people he couldn't quite save, or the days he'd decided to call it a break only to find out there had been a fire that killed several people later in the day.

It was one of the things he'd just had to learn to accept long ago. You couldn't save everyone, but you could try your best and learn from your mistakes.

"Are you okay now? Is your mind at rest? Because if you're just going to hang up after this conversation and worry about it some more then I might as well just drop by and pick you up for second dinner or something." Wade asked, sounding cautious.

"No, no, it's okay, I trust you. As for the second dinner, I'll have to take a rain check. I really do need the sleep, restless or not." Peter said tiredly, not having had a full nights sleep in a while now.

"Would you kick me out if I dropped by just to cuddle?" Wade questioned hopefully, Peter rolling his eyes.

"If my Aunt walked in my room and saw you sleeping with me she'd probably freak out."

"You should move in with me then." Wade offered out of nowhere, catching Peter off guard for a moment with how serious Wade sounded.

"Well, I can't just leave her on her own. I'm all she has." Peter said slowly, working out how the details of something like that might go over. He wouldn't abandon Aunt May, he didn't plan on moving out until she was completely sick of him. But living with Wade was tempting.

Of course, he'd have to put up with Wade being Wade, and the constant attempts to get in his pants, but it was still tempting, seeing as he'd already gotten a taste of what it was like to live there and he'd already started to consider it like a second home.

"Maybe one day." Peter allowed carefully, not wanting to commit to anything just yet. It may have been said as a joke, but Peter knew it was a genuine offer as well, and he wasn't going to pass up an offer like this. He had no illusions about the position he was currently in, as a broke soon to be college student still living with his Aunt, a promised spot at Wade's apartment in just about the near centre of big city New York was a good offer.

"So that's a no then." Wade said, Peter practically hearing the pout through the phone.

"No, that's a 'maybe after I finish high school and need to live closer to the city.'" Peter amended, lying down on top of his apartment building, staring up at the dark and cloudy sky as he talked.

"Still means no cuddles tonight." Wade decided, Peter wondering if Wade honestly thought he'd just casually move in tonight just for the cuddles, when Wade himself wasn't even at home.

"You do know I have to sleep at some point, right? Because I know you don't but I actually am going to have to maintain a sleep schedule soon." Peter reminded him dubiously, hoping that saying that out loud wouldn't make Wade more prone to doing this.

"Yeah yeah- So no dropping by your apartment to cuddle?"

"I need sleep." Peter said tiredly, already dreading how he was going to handle the high school wake up times.

"Yeah okay, goodnight Petey, I love you."

Peter's heart skyrocketed in speed, his face going red. Wade had texted it before, but hearing him say it- Peter was going to have a mini heart attack.

"Yeah, y-you too, I love you too." Peter managed, wondering how on earth he was going to get to sleep now with his mind suddenly wide awake.

"See you soon then, night Petey."


Chapter Text



Peter groggily walked to his locker, ignoring the annoying cheerleaders a few lockers down and simply focusing on getting the books he needed.

Every fibre of his being hated this building.

It wasn't that the building itself had done anything to him, or the people inside were somehow offending him, but the fact that it felt the only real reason he came here every day was to keep his friends company and occasionally do some cute worksheets.

Peter was so far beyond high school level, even for his nerdy science school. Tony Stark himself let Peter know that after they'd had a very high science relayed argument about the way Peter's webs worked, with Peter being right at the end.

So to say he attended school for the classes would be stupid. Because Peter would gladly skip if he didn't have people he cared about here.

However, he couldn't say he never learned anything here. He learned about life lessons he supposed, and every now and again he could find a teacher that offered him some reading material a little more at his level. 

But the real reason he was here was for his friends.

He had Ned and MJ, and he wasn't just going to abandon his best friends because he was Spider-man, and he wasn't going to be a high school drop out because he thought he should be saving the world. He'd mellowed a bit in his age thank you very much.

"I got the new Lego Star Wars set."

"You did what now?" Peter asked, turning to glance at Ned, the dark-haired boy practically humming with excitement.

"I got the new Lego Star Wars set."

"Like the new new one?"


"That's so cool! How many pieces?!" Peter exclaimed, rolling his eyes when he heard the cheerleader girl mutter "lame" beneath her breath when it was obviously meant for them to hear.

Well, he'd at least changed a little bit since freshmen year, somehow. Maybe.

Most of the school day passed much like all the other ones before it. With the hours seeming like centuries, and the classes themselves feeling like they were actually making Peter lose brain cells.

Not even the fact that MJ somehow had all of his classes with him again this year could make them any more interesting. Especially when she actually wanted to learn stuff. Boring.

It felt like the same exact lines of P.E, Spanish, English, Chem, blah blah blah.

The one good thing about all of this was that at least he could start making web fluid again for a much cheaper price, courtesy of the school of course. Not that they needed to know that Peter was the cause of their odd shortages of certain materials in the chemistry class cupboard.

Same times, same school, same classes, just slightly closer to his intelligence level. 

By the time he walked into the Academic Decathlon club room, he was in desperate need of a nap and about ready to fall asleep at the table. Most of everybody else seemed to be in the same sort of condition. 

"So I know we're all glad to be back together again, but this year we're going to focus and try harder than ever before." Mr. Harrington started in the same monotone voice. His voice always reminded Peter of the teacher from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. They'd tried to get him to say 'Bueller' a year back but he hadn't been having it.

"As you know, some of our greatest minds will be leaving us this year and we owe it to them to all do our very best and bring home the win this year." Mr. Harrington continued, nobody really looking like they were listening. 

"-Yeah, he's been sitting out there since the last class I had."

"Really? That's so creepy."

"I know right? What kind of pedo sits outside a school like that?"

"You think he's waiting for a student?"

"Why else would he be there? Nobody has seen him around before and I doubt he's one of the freshmen's parents."

Peter listened to the odd conversation, cheating a little with his enhanced senses to hear the full conversation. He couldn't really be sure, but it was starting to sound like-

"You guys talking about the scarred psycho sitting outside the school? I heard some teachers say they were going to call police soon if he didn't leave." Flash cut in, his voice low so as to not catch Mr. Harrison's attention. 

Scarred psycho.

"Someone's outside the school?" Peter questioned, drawing all the attention to himself while Mr. Harrington gave him a mildly irritated look over his new school year speech being interrupted.

"Yeah, there's this seriously scarred guy outside, why? What's it to you?" Flash said, looking slightly curious as to why Peter wanted to know, Ned and MJ looking with newfound interest, not having heard the conversation. 

"I'll be right back." Peter said quickly, leaving his backpack by his chair next to MJ, not listening when Mr. Harrington started to protest. 

If Wade was going to get the police called on him then Peter should probably at least work something out with the ex-merc so that if he was, in fact, waiting for Peter, he could wait at a coffee shop or something and not the school grounds considering the school probably wouldn't take kindly to resistance. 

He felt anxious as he walked down the hall towards the parking lot, not running, just speedily walking. 

Wade hadn't said anything about picking him up from school, and he still had the Academic Decathlon thing to do, it wasn't like he could just skip school with Wade. 

Although I've skipped school before...

No, there would be no skipping of the school today. He'd already lost a good chunk of integrity from casually skipping in Freshmen year on numerous occasions, and if something big popped up he didn't want to waste a day. There was only so many 'sick days' he'd be able to get away with until his random disappearances became suspicious. He skipped out enough on Spider-man related activities enough as it was.

Wade wasn't hard to spot when he reached the parking lot. He was the only person to have his motorcycle parked in the 'No parking' zone of the parking lot right out front, perfectly positioned just to make it difficult for parents to pull up to the curb to pick up their kids. Classic 'I'm being difficult because I can be' manoeuvre performed by Wilson. With a motorcycle no less. Was he trying to go for the cliche boyfriend picks me up from school vibe?

"As much as I'm glad to see you, I've got to ask why exactly you're here." Peter called out, Wade's face lighting up when he saw him. Which was rather odd.

Of course, Peter wasn't concerned with the fact Wade was happy to see him, but the fact that the there was no Deadpool mask covering him, no security blanket suit this time around. Which was strange, considering he was parked outside rumour-ville central, the heart of the finest evil. If there was any time Wade would want a security blanket, surely it would be now?

"Thought I'd wait for you. You do spidey-patrol after school, yeah? Figured I'd just wait and tag along if that's okay with you." Wade said as Peter came to a stop in front of him.

"I wouldn't mind the company, but I've still got like 40 minutes left, I don't want you waiting out here for me the whole time." Peter said softly, wary of the students still meandering around waiting for parents or walking to their cars.

"Is it the face? Because that was Yellow's idea since we figured you wouldn't want your civilian self to be seen with Deadpool since that's kind of like an attention spotlight, but maybe it doesn't matter anyway because of the scars? I didn't think it was a good ide-"

"No Wade, I'm actually happy you're not wearing the mask, I like you better without it, but I don't want to know that you're just boredly sitting out here waiting to entertain yourself with the next irritated person to tell you to park your bike elsewhere. There's a Starbucks down the street I could meet you at after this, does that sound okay?" Peter suggested, knowing that if he just left Wade out here then he'd be nonstop worrying about it when he went inside.

It was sweet that Wade had really thought about what was best for Peter before coming here though, and he had been right. It would be an attention spotlight to have Peter Parker seen with Deadpool, especially if Spider-man was going to be seen with Deadpool more often.

"You're happy I'm not wearing the mask..? Like me better-? What does that even mean?" Wade asked in confusion, Peter blushing a little at the call out.

"W-well- you know- I like being able to see you." Peter replied, not knowing how to express what exactly it was that made talking to Wade so much better than talking to a mask.

With a mask, no matter how expressive said mask was, it always felt like Peter was in work mode, he was in Spider-man mode. All work, no play. Deadpool was a work associate.

But when he looked at Wade without the mask, he felt more like he could just be Peter and watch whatever show popped up in the Netflix recommended with Wade. Crossing the two, it was like trying to meld together the double lives he'd been living all this time.

"It also allows me to do this." Peter admitted, stepping forward to close the small gap between them and press his lips to Wade's, pulling back just as quickly afterwards, not giving Wade a chance to respond.

Had Peter given him the chance he knew that the innocent kiss would turn less PG and more PG-13, and PG-13 was not for school.

"You're the best." Wade stated in a slight daze, making Peter blush again and glance around at anything that wasn't Wade, which was a bad idea, considering he saw the entire Academic Decathlon team pressed against the window a couple yards away.

Well shit.

"So the Starbucks, huh?" Wade questioned, Peter quickly turning back to look at him with slightly wide eyes, having forgotten all about that plan in the short span of time they'd been out here.

"Yes, right, bingo." Peter confirmed awkwardly, unsure of what on earth he was going to do when Flash inevitably brought this up.

"Friends of yours?" Wade gestured to the window, waving back at Ned who didn't really seem to be aware that the people around him were either ducking or jumping out of sight.

"Yes, that's my Academic Decathlon team." Peter relented, pursing his lips as MJ flipped them both off, Wade happily returning the favour.

"Welp, I'mma go to Starbucks then. See you there after?" Wade asked, a small smile on his face that Peter was going to take a wild guess and say was from watching Peter himself be flustered over his stalkerish Decathlon team.

"Yeah, see you there." Peter repeated, still standing there, with neither of them making any move to actually leave.

"Would you hate me if I kiss you again?" Wade asked, Peter staring back at Wade with an uncomprehending gaze, the lack of sleep seriously starting to mess with his head now. 

Messing with his head so much, in fact, that he didn't even protest when Wade leaned forward and kissed him, even with the knowledge that his Academic Decathlon team (or probably just MJ) was most likely taking pictures for blackmail later. 

Peter flipped them all off for good measure, not about to let them get in the way of this. Peter wasn't ashamed to be seen kissing Wade, in fact, it was quite the opposite, so if they wanted to make fun of him for it later then they could, but it still wasn't going to change the way Peter felt about Wade. 

"Mmm I need to get back in that building." Peter said in between kisses, noting the way his own voice betrayed him and just how much he didn't want to go back to talking about the Academic Decathlon team plan.

"Yeah, I know." Wade sighed dramatically, kissing Peter one last time before taking a step back.

"Go have fun doing smart people stuff." Wade teased, Peter reluctantly starting to walk back towards the building, nearly tripping over the stairs before his spidey sense kicked in.

"Don't kill anyone." Peter said jokingly, Wade sticking his tongue out at him in response.

Peter didn't know how this relationship thing was going to work, and he didn't really know how to date an ex-mercenary who couldn't die-- pretty sure there weren't any dating books written on that one, maybe he should write one-- but what he did know was that he really did love Wade, and when it came to all the people in the world, he couldn't think of a single person that complimented his own personality like the way Wade did. 

The fact that it didn't have to be said for them both to know it was what let Peter know it was meant to be. There was nobody who was going to get him like Wade did and be able to withstand the conditions that came with being associated with him. They were the only ones for each other. A perfect set.

Peter smiled to himself as he walked back into the school building, hearing Wade's motorcycle rev to life behind him. 


"That was your boyfriend?" Flash asked incredulously, finally able to speak now that they were all getting ready to leave.

"Yes." Peter confirmed again, already having had enough of the gossip that had been going on in this room since he'd gotten back. The one downside to super-hearing: hearing everything people said about you under their breath.

"So what? You're just dating some old war vet or something? Where'd you two meet? A veteran support group?" Flash joked, Peter struggling to keep his temper as he made his way towards the door. 

"Flash I don't think you should make fun of Wade." Ned cautioned, sounding unsure of himself as Flash turned his attention on him instead. 

"Why? Is he going to come pick me up in his pedo van? Bore me with his war stories?" Flash snarked, Peter having to remind himself over and over again that it wouldn't be a good idea to punch Flash. 

"Actually," MJ started as they left the room, all of them walking down the empty hallway towards the exit.

"Peter's boyfriend isn't a war vet at all." She said, Ned and Peter warily watching her, concerned about the happy and smug smile on her face that she always wore right before verbally ripping someone to shreds. They'd only witnessed it twice, both times when someone tried to talk down to her, but they were both memorable enough experiences for them to remember. 

MJ abruptly stopped right in front of Flash, glaring down at him with her height advantage. 

"Do you remember the little chat you had a couple of years back, Thompson? I'm sure you remember that." MJ said icily, Peter watching as Flash visibly lost all his confidence.

"Now if you continue to make fun of Peter and his boyfriend, then his boyfriend is going to kill you and no amount of security is going to stop him. No one will find your body. Do you understand?" MJ threatened quietly, adding a charming smile at the end that Flash only curtly nodded at before quickly walking back the way he came and into the Academic Decathlon room. 

"Well then." Peter said in slight awe, MJ looking completely normal, as though she hadn't just scared the actual crap out of Flash Thompson, the smart rich kid that nobody dared mess with. And yet, there was MJ, still at the top as the apex predator. 

"Wade didn't hold back when he talked to him. Flash should definitely be giving you some elbow room now that you're dating the guy." MJ informed him, already starting to walk again as Ned and Peter quickly moved to follow. 

"What did Wade do to him?" Ned asked with wide eyes, Peter wondering much of the same.

"Not much to be honest. Pretty much just showed up and talked to the kid and held a gun to his head to keep him quiet, said some things and then left, least that's what I heard." MJ shrugged, holding the door open for them as they walked in the direction of Starbucks.

"Yeah, I probably would avoid Wade after that too." Ned said in consideration, both the boys stopping as MJ split from their trio to start walking towards a dark blue Ferrari waiting by the curb.

"Sorry boys, but I've got myself a date." MJ said happily, that completely complacent and content look on her face as she waved at them.

Peter and Ned watched in slight shock as the fancy car pulled up to the curb, the driver rolling down the window to reveal Phillip, looking as completely over the moon as he always looked when MJ was in his line of sight. He didn't look at Wade like that, right? He wanted people to know he liked Wade, but he wasn't sure he wanted it displayed on his face so obviously like that.

"So basically you're both leaving me for your rich as hell sugar daddy boyfriends." Ned said flatly, Peter snorting at the wording as he playfully punched Ned's shoulder.

"You should get on that Ned, can't be the only one without a rich boyfriend." Peter teased, Ned rolling his eyes at him.

"Yeah, let me just go hit up Tony Stark, maybe ask him out and see how well that goes." Ned drawled sarcastically, waving in MJ's direction as she drove off, Phillip revving the engine more than necessary as they left the parking lot. 

"Seriously, I'm the only one with dreams here and you two are just off frolicking in free food. Nobody appreciates my vibranium dreams." Ned pouted, Peter just shaking his head at the other boy.

"The difference is some sweet and sour chicken costs seven dollars, whereas some vibranium costs like 7 million." Peter pointed out, continuing to walk with Ned towards the Starbucks.

Ned lived super close to the school and would oftentimes just follow Peter to whichever alleyway he went to suit up in before walking home. It was a good system just in case someone tried to walk through the alleyway while Peter was there, considering Ned could keep people busy long enough for Peter to get out of there. Not to mention Peter could hand over his backpack to Ned for safekeeping instead of having it constantly stolen all the time.

"7 million is not much for someone who owns 7 billion." Ned complained, obviously planning on holding the 'your boyfriend is rich af' card over Peter for all eternity. He supposed this was better than the constant nagging for him to ask Stark for cash.

"One day Ned, you and I will run the most innovative and science fuelled company around, but until then, we have to suffer through being broke high school students." Peter said solemnly, placing an arm around Ned in fake comfort.

"Get off of me you jerk." Ned laughed, shoving Peter away as the Starbucks came into sight, the rather oddly shaped shop that was wedged between a sub shop and a frozen yoghurt place. Although Peter swore the frozen yoghurt place was always something different every time he walked by. Last time it had been a sushi place, and before that it sold bikes.

"Well, I suppose this is where I bid you adieu." Ned said, stopping before they crossed the street to the Starbucks.

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow though bro. Since we've got some 'big dream' this year with the Academic Decathlon team." Peter joked, all of them having heard the same speech every year they'd been on it.

"Yup, later dude, don't die." Ned said happily, Peter rolling his eyes before giving a small wave of farewell.

Idly Peter wondered if patrolling with Wade was going to be a new thing. Could Wade even keep up with him? There was some serious advantage to being able to just swing over and around things in the city sometimes, and last he checked, Deadpool was still ground-based.

Well, guess he'd just have to find out if Spider-man and Deadpool were as good a team as Peter and Wade.

Watch out New York, because things were either about to go really well, or really bad. There would be no middle ground.

Chapter Text



"Yeah, but I didn't know you were a ninja." Wade said, bringing up Peter's fighting style for what felt like the millionth time in the last hour.

"I'm not a ninja, I'm just well trained in certain martial arts." Peter argued, knowing that he was nowhere near as skilled as a legitimate ninja. He'd only been training for a couple years, not like a lifetime or anything.

Honestly, did Wade seriously think that once Tony Stark found out he was fighting people with no previous fighting skill he'd just let Peter keep doing it? Nooooo, the training Stark put him through with Happy had been killer.

It wasn't even the fact that it was exhausting or physically tolling on his body, it was more that mentally it felt like a mental-train hit a mental him after every session from constantly trying to keep his strength in check while he learned. One accidental slip up and he could put someone in a hospital permanently, and he seriously did not want that.

The only times he ever actually got to fight at full capacity was when either Thor or Steve was around, and even with Steve, it was a little iffy sometimes, since nobody was really ever actually sure just how far Peter's strength went and how much Steve could handle. He was a super-soldier, but Peter was kind of on a different level. So Peter's sparring opportunities were very limited.

However, he did have to admit that for all the headaches he'd had to suffer through from the training, it had definitely paid off in the end. He could effortlessly take someone down without revealing he was Spider-man, and as Spider-man it was more than efficient for taking down the baddies. He wasn't just blind punching now, he was hitting with a set goal in mind.

"You're totally a ninja. I'm dating a ninja." Wade insisted, placing a fresh change of clothes for Peter to change into on the bathroom counter, Peter drying his hair off in the meantime, having just finished showering.

While Peter had been recovering at Wade's, showering with the door open a crack had become a common occurrence, not just in case he fell when his leg was injured, but also because they both talked nearly non-stop, and it was annoying when you were talking to yourself and someone else thought you were talking to them, so they'd just solved the issue by talking to each other. 

They'd just gotten done patrolling and Wade had insisted on having Peter over for pancakes and Fortnite so Peter had given in with not much prodding, texting Aunt May about it only to receive a message stating he was 18 now and could make his own decisions, 'just use protection.'

Not exactly what he wanted to hear if he was being honest. Could one no longer simply go over to another's house for pancakes and video games without someone else assuming that immediately meant sex? What was the world coming to?

Aunt May had been doing that a lot lately though. The freedom she was giving him recently was kind of overwhelming. Being 18 was kind of overwhelming. 

Peter walked into the kitchen after changing into the clothes Wade had brought him, slightly dubious to how the sweatpants hung lower on him. He wondered if Wade had purposefully chosen that specific set of clothes before realising these were probably the closest clothes to Peter's size that Wade owned.

"Pancakes, good sir?" Wade asked, holding out a plate of them to Peter who gladly took them with thanks, following Wade to the couch where they planned to watch all the crappy horror movies Netflix had to offer while they ate.

Wade's pancakes really were the best pancakes ever. They pretty much ruined all other pancakes for Peter, he'd never be able to have Original Pancake House or IHOP pancakes ever again without thinking about how much better these ones were. Wade had pretty much Flowers for Algernon'ed pancakes for the rest of Peter's life.

It was a good thing Peter planned to keep him around for the rest of his said life.

It made Peter seriously think about the future though. It was weird how pancakes could make you start thinking about life choices and what you planned to do with your life.

Peter wanted to keep Wade around for a long time, and he wanted to keep Wade out of the mercenary business. If Peter was going to seriously date Wade then he needed to make sure Wade stayed out of the mercenary business. He knew Wade well enough at this point to know he'd most likely go insane if he had nothing to do, and if Peter wanted to keep him from bad habits then he'd have to offer an alternative. 

So what exactly was he supposed to offer Wade as an alternative? Did he just let Deadpool tag along with Spider-man? Could he trust Wade to not fatally hurt anyone? The ex-mercenary was more than capable of stopping people without killing them, he'd seen it himself, and with Peter helping to turn the criminals in then surely the reputation would carry over to be shared by them both, probably. That way they could maybe even rebrand Deadpool as a hero like how Spider-man was.

Although he couldn't just ignore the infamous reputation Wade could carry over to Peter as well. But that could be a good thing since it could make the criminals less likely to pop up if they thought they might be cut down like peasants at the blade of a katana. 

Peter ate a bite of pancake while watching the movie Wade had started, still lost deep in thought over the pros and cons of everything.

There was always the possibility that he and Wade could decide to split up too. It wasn't a great possibility to think about, but it was still on the table. Just because he wasn't fond of the idea didn't take it out of the pool of possibilities.

If they ended up splitting then the likelihood that Wade would jump the city and go back to killing for cash was extremely high, no matter what Wade said, and Peter didn't know if the promises made to 'my boyfriend Peter' would break once they became to 'my exboyfriend Peter.'

However, hopefully, he'd never honestly have to consult that thought. He was rather fond of the idea of them working together as a team and staying like that. And they had done a fantastic job today with mostly no hiccups.

There had been a couple of occasions where Peter accidentally travelled faster than Wade and lost him, and there had been a couple times when they were fighting baddies that their separate fights had come close to hitting each other, but other than the miscellaneous bump-ins every now and again, they were a pretty seamless team.

It was actually kind of scary how well they could read each other's mind sometimes, without saying a single word and without unveiled eye contact. It was like they just knew.

Their fighting styles and minds just meshed together to make this perfect sort of team, one that Peter had never dreamed would work so well with their current set of skills and not to mention their different personalities. Wade was reckless and Peter was more cautious, Wade had a darker sense of humour and Peter's was more light-hearted, Wade had swords and guns and Peter had webs, but they still both made it work. 

"Are you having another war flashback? Are you coming up with the meaning of life? What's happening with you right now?" Wade asked, waving a hand in front of Peter's face as he snapped back into reality.

"I was coming up with the most advanced math equation in history and you just ruined it by breaking my concentration." Peter groaned playfully, Wade rolling his eyes as Peter had another bite of his pancakes before they got too soggy in the puddle of syrup he had on his plate.

"What were you really thinking about though?" Wade asked curiously, sounding like he wasn't sure if he was allowed to ask that or not.

"I was thinking of how much of a good team we are." Peter said sincerely, glad he could be at least somewhat genuine with his thoughts. That's what couples did, right? Didn't they always say that relationships always failed from lack of communication? Could your relationship fail from too much communication? He'd have to ask Wade later.

"We were a pretty good team, although half the time I had no clue where you were." Wade reminded sarcastically, Peter mentally noting that he needed to work on his transportation teamwork better.

"You were walking slow." Peter protested, knowing it was his own fault, but arguing anyway just to see what Wade would say about it.

"I was walking slow? It isn't my fault I can't just swing through the streets like Tarzan all the time. Some of use this technology called legs, and occasionally they can't jump over small buildings."

"Mmm oh yeah? Sounds like my swinging technology is better than your leg technology." Peter replied with raised eyebrows, casually sipping his tea.

"Indeed, maybe you could ease up on that monopoly on webs you got there and share the wealth a little." Wade said, knowing very well that Peter had no intention of giving him any sort of tool that he could harass the civilians with.

"I have the feeling that if you had the technology you would make some irresponsible decisions with it." Peter commented dryly, Wade making a face of someone only truly guilty. 

"Psssssh, you mean like helping you save the world? That's a responsible decision."

"So you wouldn't go around webbing dick sculptures on different landmarks?" Peter asked sarcastically. To be honest, you only really needed to know Wade for 5 minutes to know this was one of the many things he'd most likely do if he had access to web-shooters.

"Whaaaaat? Who told you about that?" 

"Exactly." Peter said, having another bite of his pancakes as he turned his attention back to the lame movie on the screen. One of the main characters was hiding under the bed as the serial killer took his sweet time walking around, searching the room and all the places to hide except the one place the character would most likely hide. She should've just jumped out the window instead of hiding under the bed. Why were the main characters of these things always lacking in intelligence? 

He startled as Wade dropped his head onto his shoulder, a whole lot closer than what Peter was used to. There was the closeness that came with kissing, and then there was this kind of closeness, the completely innocent kind, that made the nuclear butterflies in his stomach return and threaten his very life with how fast his heart was beating.

Peter felt frozen for a second, scared that if he moved then Wade might move away. Could he eat pancakes like this? He didn't want to be rude and just eat food with Wade's head right there. Why was he so goddamn nervous?

"Your heart is beating like crazy." Wade chuckled, sitting up again to both Peter's disappointment and relief. As much as he loved Wade, the pancakes were the top priority here. 

"Obviously this movie is much scarier than we anticipated." Peter said easily, noting that the serial killer had found the girl under the bed but she had somehow managed to escape and was now running through the house as the very slow serial killer followed behind. 

"Oh I'm sure. Giggles the clown there is reeeeal scary, what with the dull easy to tell prop knife, and the lame costume." Wade teased, letting Peter finish his pancakes and put the plate down on the coffee table before near tackling him and curling up to his side, throwing Peter off for a second. Was tackling apart of cuddling?

This was sort of nice though, with Wade right next to him as the movie played on. It felt like they really were dating in moments like this, which was weird, because they were dating, but it still just felt like they were good friends who just happened to do couple-like things. Peter wasn't fully sure yet, but he was kind of happy they were like this.

When they were like this Peter felt like they could be like this forever without a single issue, whether it be Tony Stark or the world ending, nothing would break them. Maybe this was what people meant when they said dating a best friend was better than dating just anybody. But were Peter and Wade best friends? He was pretty sure Ned still had top spot as the best friend. 

He and Wade were something though, something different it felt like. Peter didn't really have much experience with relationships, but he knew that their relationship felt different than other relationships. They weren't like the ones he saw on TV or walking down the street. 

They just seemed...

Effortless, as if they didn't need to strive to make the other person happy because simply existing was all it took. Peter didn't really want or need anything from Wade except Wade, and it felt like it was the same with Wade.

Peter cautiously put an arm around Wade's shoulders, unsure if that was proper cuddling etiquette. Honestly, Peter was getting to the stage of confusion where he was about to say 'screw it' and just go with whatever happened.

"Hey, this is a pretty good horror movie as far as crappy horror movies go. The acting hasn't been so bad." Peter argued, not about to actually address what was going on right now between them, with Wade pretty much just using him as a pillow. He was the smaller of the two of them, why did he have to be the considerate boyfriend all of a sudden? Peter wanted to be comfortable too dang it.

They both started when Peter's phone made a loud 'blaster' sound, signifying that he'd gotten a text from Stark. He'd forgotten to put the stupid thing on vibrate after he'd texted Aunt May about going to Wade's.

Received 19:02: Are you still coming to the little get-together tomorrow? I figured you might have forgotten with all the new stuff going on, so just checking.

Sent 19:02 Crap you're right. I totally forgot. It's tomorrow???

Received 19:02: Peter it's on the 1st of every single month. I don't understand how it can be so impossible for you to remember that. Just add it as an event in your calendar or something, have your phone alert you.

Sent 19:03: I know, I'm sorry I keep forgetting. I'll come this time though, I promise.

Received 19:03: Is this like the last time you promised and then proceeded to sleep through the entire day?

Sent 19:03: It wasn't my fault Aunt May turned my alarm off so I could sleep in! It was an accident last time.

Received 19:04: July 1st. MIA.

Sent 19:04:  okay well that time I just didn't want to go because Natasha seriously humiliated me in poker last time I was there.

Received 19:04: I knew you were skipping them on purpose!!!

Received 19:05: But seriously, come this time. Everybody has been asking where on earth you went.

Sent 19:05: Yeah, I promise I'll be there tomorrow. 5 like always, right?

Received 19:06: Yup, and before you even ask, yes you can bring Wade. Just don't destroy or blow up or burn anything and we're fine.

Sent 19:06: Yes sir!

"How would you feel about going to Tony Stark's monthly get-together thing?" Peter asked excitedly, more than excited to introduce Wade to his current super-friends.

He wasn't an Avenger, but he was still a designated part of the team, and being apart of the team meant he got to go eat food at the little buffet Stark put together for all the people who helped save the world, or well, the people Stark just generally enjoyed being around. Peter was pretty sure certain people were still banned from attending, like Bucky and Scott. Peter still wasn't exactly sure what Scott had done to get banned, but Peter still saw him occasionally show up to steal food, so whatever it was couldn't have been that bad.

"Are you saying there's a version of Downey Town in this universe?!" Wade exclaimed, Peter furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. Downey town? That sounded like a rather rude insult.

"Y'know? You get like the golden invitation and you get to go to like this village of trailers- you know what never mind, you won't get it. What matters is that it actually exists." Wade said happily, Peter feeling like Wade somehow knew more about this then he was letting on. What village??

"So you are coming, right?" Peter clarified, Wade humming in agreement, seeming to have spaced out, most likely talking with the boxes.

It was kind of odd to be excluded from a piece of Wade that seemed so prominent. The boxes were pretty much a constant inner monologue from what Peter had gathered. And if Wade had a constant inner monologue of different variations of himself than Peter honestly wasn't surprised Wade was insane as he was. Although, it did beg the question of which came first, the voices or the crazy.

It would be interesting to see if his super-family of sorts would be able to handle Wade's kind of crazy, seeing as they kind of had their own brand of crazy going on. He figured Natasha and Clint would probably be the most welcoming, considering they had sort of previously been assassins or whatever. Peter still wasn't really sure what their story was, but they were like cool older cousins to him, so they'd probably be the most accepting of Wade. 

If Thor was there this time then he'd probably accept Wade too, considering he also had a history of crazy people in his family. Maybe he should ask Thor for advice on how to deal with slightly deranged people, he had to put up with Loki after all. 

Steve would probably also be able to sympathize with him, seeing as he had Bucky and all. Truth be told, there were several people that would most likely be there tomorrow that would be able to understand and accept Wade, considering none of them really had completely clean pasts. 

It would be interesting to see what would happen tomorrow, although, Peter had to admit he was slightly worried that Wade might joke about something morbid or dark and spook the more goody two shoe types. He'd have to probably keep Wade hanging out with Natasha and Clint more often than the others. Technically they had all kind of excelled in the same thing, maybe they could offer Wade some insight for not killing people.

Was there a Killers Anonymous? If there wasn't then Peter was on the verge of starting one. 

Peter yawned, feeling exhausted not just from going out on patrol, but also the warm shower and filling up on pancakes. It was like a perfect tri-attack on his consciousness.

"Are you even going to be able to make it through the movie?" Wade joked, the fact that he was warm not doing much to help Peter stay awake.

He vaguely knew that if he fell asleep at Wade's instead of going home then it would probably be bad, and Aunt May might kill him for making her worry, and there was always the fact he couldn't really go home to pick up some new clothes to wear either, but, naps wouldn't hurt?

"Mmm, you'll have to tell me how it ends." Peter said, already able to guess exactly what the movie would end with. You watch enough bad horror movies and they all start to blur together.

Peter smiled when he felt Wade curl up a little closer to him.




Chapter Text



Wade was once again waiting outside of Midtown High like a crazy person, this time parked in an actual parking area as he waited.

Peter had said they'd probably head over to whatever this get together thing was around 5, so it was probably better for them to stick together until then, considering Peter needed a ride and they were both going together anyway.

(Yeah right. You love birds just want more time to hang out.)

[Yeah because they've been so productive with the time they've spent together recently.]

(What's that supposed to mean?)


(Not everything is about sex.)

[Mmmmm but we haven't gotten any yet.]

(Once again, not everything is about sex. Peter will decide when he's ready.)

[Which is never.]

(No, it basically means whenever he gets fed up with the make out sessions and jumps us.)

[Jumps us?]

(Yes, because I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm pretty sure the only reason we haven't done it yet is because we haven't even tried to push him in that direction.)

[Are you saying he's been waiting for us??]


"What? No way is that true." Wade argued, knowing Peter could get handsy every now and again, but nowhere to the point of sexy times handsy.

(It's true! He's been holding back and you know it.)


(I speak nothing but the truth.)

"Lies." Wade muttered, wondering if there was any truth to that or if it was just Yellow being an attention whore.

Wade wasn't with Peter for sex, he was with Peter because Peter was Peter and the most perfect person on the planet. However, the sex would be a nice added bonus once they got there. The real question was did Peter feel that way too.

Because Wade, believe it or not, was actually fine with no sex at all, if that's what Peter wanted. In fact, it was almost embarrassing how much he would actually give up for Peter.

Why was he even thinking about this right now? On the premises of a high school while he waited for his high schooler boyfriend? Yeah, that probably wasn't going to stop being weird anytime soon.

(We sound like a paedophile.)

[Kind of difficult to avoid when you're dating a high schooler.]

(Do you think the people at the 'get together' will think we're a paedophile?)

"I certainly hope not." Wade muttered, thoughts of a disappointed Captain America coming to mind as he slumped slightly next to his car.

According to Peter, they were supposed to go in-costume since people didn't know his secret identity, so whether or not that meant they would go 'together-together' was still left to be determined. The chances of anyone thinking they were an item was probably extremely slim, and if they didn't actually know Peter than the likelihood of being called a paedophile was low, but still enough to set Wade slightly on edge.

What did Peter's Aunt think of him? He'd only really met her the one time, and she'd seemed like a nice lady. Protective, but nice, and she didn't seem like someone who would judge, yet what would other people think?

There was always the question of what they'd do in the future too, with Wade ageing so slowly. Did Peter age slowly with his healing factor? Was he even old enough for him to know it? Wade himself hadn't really noticed till he was around 30 and looking far younger than he probably should.

If you were mentally older than a person by a lot then did that make you a paedophile? But Peter was 18 so surely it wasn't pervish if he was legal, right? Peter was old enough to make his own choices. And it wasn't like Wade was exactly leading him on, he'd made sure to keep his hands to himself until Peter made the first move, so he wasn't influencing in that regard.

(Oh my #$&!, just stop.)

[Seriously, you're giving me a headache.]

Wade glared at a kid who stared too long, watching as the kid practically ran back into the building, several other people already starting to leave.

(Classes must be finally over! Hallelujah!)

[We've been out here for like ten minutes.]

(Ten minutes too long.)

"It has been a painful ten minutes." Wade agreed, never liking it when he was left with nothing to do but think about his life choices.


"You walking or working, babe?" Wade greeted cheerfully, revelling in the mildly annoyed and amused look Peter gave him. 

"Are you going to be ready to finally meet my 'family?'" Peter asked, air-quoting family in a way that wasn't really helping Wade's current nerves over messing everything up and having them all hate him. 

If they were really like Peter's actual family then this was basically Peter taking him to show off to the parents, or in this case, Father Stark and Mother Rogers. Which was just kind of like, slightly terrifying.

"Ready as I'll ever be." Wade replied dubiously, getting in the car with Peter. Wade had brought a car this time around simply for the sake of being more discrete, since he wasn't actually sure if they would be heading straight to the get-together or not. This car specifically had some pretty strong tinted windows, strong enough that it would take some effort to spot Spider-man and Deadpool on their way to Iron Man's weird superhero party.

"It won't be that bad, probably." Peter said, leaning forward to mess with the radio, settling on an old school hip hop station.

"Probably? Should I be watching out for anyone specific?" Wade joked, pulling out onto the street and heading back to his apartment before they headed out to the Avenger's building that the little 'get together' was being held at. No pressure or anything.

"I think your biggest problem is Stark, and you seem to somehow not die whenever you talk to him, so I think you're going to be fine if I'm honest." Peter replied, leaning back in his seat to fiddle with the backpack at his feet.

"Trust me when I say Stark doesn't like me. He just likes you enough to not completely dislike me in the 'I want to slaughter you' way." Wade reminded, idly wondering what exactly would happen if he accidentally hurt Peter. Not physically of course, but if he did somehow accidentally hurt Peter then what exactly would Stark do to him? He had confidence he could escape Iron Man, but escaping him forever? 

"Well, hopefully, he should play nice for at least today. Otherwise, I'll talk to him and sort some things out." Peter muttered darkly, displaying a side Wade didn't think the younger man had. 

(Dark Spidey is bae.)

[As long as he doesn't do the emo dance I'm good.]

(That was Maguire, I don't think we have to worry about it.)

[Stop breaking the wall, the fans might get disturbed.]

(Pshhh, doubt it. If they've been Deadpool fans for long then they should be chill by now.)

[You'll scare the new fans away.]

(It's chapter 23 dude, if they've stuck around this long then they should be fine. They know the drill by now.)

[Still, too much fourth wall breaking will just make us seem like we're making stuff up to keep up the word count and then the author dude has to add more words to make up for it.]

(Why would he do that? We just like talking, it's part of the story.)

[Yeah but still.]

(But still what. I talk about whatever I want, whenever I want. No word count will silence m-)

Wade blocked out the voices, focusing on driving and Peter's voice instead. He didn't want to be the reason that Peter and Stark's weird father-son bond thing got messed up. He didn't want to be a homewrecker or anything, he just wanted to date Peter, and maybe more one day. 

"Don't break any of his bones yet, he hasn't done anything so far." Wade joked, noting that Peter's silence was answer enough. If the Stark-Parker relationship had been rocky before Wade came along, then it was headed for a trainwreck at this rate.

"You at least can see where he's coming from though, right? About not liking a mercenary?" Wade checked, trying to get a feel for the real issue here. Because it was pretty obvious the issue had been happening before he came along, but just how long exactly? And over what?

"You're an ex-mercenary who has now saved my life on more than one occasion and continues to stay by my side even though I lied to you about my identity, forced you to give up a part of your life, and I'm practically forcing you to meet my crazy family and friends. He could at least make an effort to not be incredibly sarcastic whenever you're the topic of conversation and let me make my own choices." Peter scowled, letting out a small huff of frustration.

"Well, to be fair I don't really mind it, and him being sarcastic is just kind of his character. Besides, has he actually tried to force you to change your mind about me?" Wade questioned curiously, wondering if there was really an actual issue here, or if it was just Peter being angsty. Although, it was probably Stark being angsty too. 

"He's been texting me all the time, and he's been more adamant about stuff like today. I just feel like he still sees me as that clueless 15-year-old kid with a crappy costume. I'm still just a kid to him." Peter sighed, turning to stare out the window as they slowed in the after-school traffic.

"I don't think Stark will ever fully see you as an adult, simply because you're his kid. I don't mean to be a downer here, but he's probably not going to ever stop treating you like a kid." Wade said cautiously, unsure if that would set Peter off or not.

(Why isn't he saying anything?)

[He's probably thinking about that.]

(For how long?)

[How should I know?]

"Shut up." Wade muttered, sick of all the commentary he was getting today. The boxes always seemed to flare up whenever he was getting anxious, and they never helped. 

"You really think that?" Peter asked suddenly, Wade quickly going over everything he'd just said.

"About Stark treating you like a kid? Yeah." Wade replied, glancing at Peter who had a pensive look on his face like he was trying to process something rather complex.

"I guess I never thought about it like that. Which is stupid, because when you say it like that it just seems obvious." Peter stated, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

(He's so cute when he's confused.)

[We need to focus on driving.]

(Why can't we just put it in park and make out in the back seat.)

[Um, because that would be bad on so many levels. Don't even get me started on all the reasons.]

(But he's so cuteeee~)

"The guy doesn't have kids or a dog, so he's using you as his adopted son." Wade supplied helpfully, slowly creeping along with the traffic.

"Yeah, guess so." Peter mumbled, leaning forward to turn up the radio in a silent way of saying he was done with the conversation.

(You ever notice he listens to loud music when he wants to think?)


(He did it when he was recovering at our apartment too, with his headphones in the mornings.)

[You're a stalker.]

(He was in our apartment! It isn't stalking.)

Wade held back a small smile, keeping his eyes on the cars ahead of them as they listened to the angelic lyrics of Shoop on the way back to the apartment.


(See, that was 2k words right there, and we haven't even gotten to the picnic thingy part yet. Word count my ass.)

[Shut the f#$% up.]

(Just sayin', I can babble as much as I want and the word count will be fiiiiiiiine.)



"Why is there so much security?" Wade asked in amazement as they went through the second gated area only to be met with a heavy-ass door that required someone from the inside to open it for you.

"Being a superhero means occasionally dangerous people try to hunt you down. Stark does his best to keep these get-togethers safe from that." Peter said, walking into the building as the door opened, Wade quickly following the red and blue-clad hero.

"Yeah but, do superheroes really need this protection? Especially when they're all together? I mean wouldn't that kind of be like trying to kill one bee by kicking the bee-hive?" Wade questioned, not exactly fond of the no-windows hallway they were currently walking down, trying to keep up with the younger man.

"I suppose. Although some people want to kill all the bees in one blow." Peter replied, fixing Wade with a genuinely curious look that he could read easily with or without the mask.

"Touché. Now where exactly are we going?" Wade inquired, looking around the spacious area for some sort of sign or something, maybe a map saying 'You are here.'

"There's this really big room that Stark had built for events like this. Kind of like a convention room or something. Ever been to comic-con?" Peter asked playfully, rounding a corner and walking a little ways till he got to the entryway of a large room.


"Yup, it's pretty much just like a giant party with buffet style dinner all night and intense poker games. You should fit in fine." Peter commented, Wade more just taking in the scene before him.

It was definitely like a convention room, a small one, maybe the size of three basketball gyms if they were side by side, with all the food on one side of the room while tables and chairs filled another portion of the room, many people sitting down and talking.

There were quite a few different people Wade recognised from different places, like Thor, Hawkeye, Black Widow, all those obvious ones, but also people like Jessica Jones, and he was pretty sure he saw Daredevil in the corner.

Which reminded him of something.

"You are by no means allowed to go near Jessica Jones. I don't need a private investigator recognising you." Wade muttered, the eyes of Peter's mask widening slightly.

"She's here?!" Peter whisper yelled, Wade glancing around to make sure nobody was watching them too closely.

"Yes she's here, she's a Defender or whatever they call themselves. Shouldn't you know this? Hasn't she come to these things before?" Wade questioned, wondering why on earth she was even here now. Wasn't she the introvert sort? They must have some pretty good alcohol here if she was here on her own free will.

"I haven't been to the superhero potluck in like 3 months! It's not my fault she hasn't come before and I never recognised her!" Peter whisper yelled again, both heroes quickly trying to regain normalcy as the Black Widow started walking towards them. Wade wasn't fanboying. Not at all.

"Good to see you Spides, where you been?" Natasha asked, giving Peter a quick hug, her eyes trained on Wade more than they were on peter.

"I-I've been busy.. with, uh, stuff." Peter stammered, nodding at his own shaky statement as though Natasha wasn't going to see through that like crystal.

"Alright then, well, I know Clint has been dying to have a rematch against you in pool, you down?" Natasha asked, Wade unsure of what to do in this situation.

Did he follow Peter around like a lost puppy? Go try and find somebody he knew that didn't want to kill him repeatedly? Cry in the corner? Hug the wall and pretend to be invisible?

The real question bothering him was whether or not Jessica Jones would make the Spider-man = Peter Parker connection now that Wade was involved. Because Peter Parker and Wade Wilson hanging out was weird, but Spider-man and Deadpool hanging out? Jessica wasn't blind, hell, even Daredevil would be able to see that one coming.

"Um yeah, let me just grab something to eat first, since y'know, just got here." Peter said awkwardly, Natasha just giving him an odd look before walking back towards the group she'd previously been talking with.

"Dude you totally just froze up, what happened?" Wade asked, wondering why on earth Peter was suddenly so nervous. Wade was supposed to be the one freaking out, not Peter. Peter was the lifeline in this situation. If Peter had a breakdown then Wade was going to have a breakdown, especially with all these superheroes here staring at them.

"I forgot just how nerve-wracking these things are." Peter groaned, folding his hands above his head in a 'I wish I could run my hands through my hair right now but there's a mask' gesture that Wade had come to recognise when Peter was stressed.

"Okay, basically, the only two people I hang out with are Natasha and Clint, but they're both always so normal and carefree and totally trained spies,  and it just freaks me out knowing that they probably already know who I am." Peter sighed, resting his head against Wade's arm in a defeated manner.

"Well if they're friends then why does it matter..?" Wade asked in confusion, not understanding Peter's big issue with secret identity.

"Because if I think they already know then I start getting sloppy and giving away pieces of information I don't mean to when other people are around, other people who I don't know." Peter said glancing towards the small crowd of superheroes.

"I guess, but I'm pretty sure if Tony Stark is letting them into his super secret superhero military base then they're probably pretty alright people." Wade pointed out, wondering why the secret identity thing was that big of a deal. Of course, he understood why Peter felt the need for it, but somewhere like a superhero exclusive zone?

"You and Jessica Jones are here. Chances are there are other shady people that I haven't even met." Peter replied, Wade taking mild offence to that. Jessica Jones was a lovely person and hardly shady.

"I can't see why that's a dealbreaker. I can get why it's something you'd take into consideration and be cautious with, but I don't see why that would stop you from coming to these." Wade said, following Peter to the buffet line and grabbing two plates for good measure.

"Well, there's always the fact that it's a social outing and I'm not a social person?" Peter offered, Wade admitting that this was a decent argument. Peter was pretty social for an introvert, but he was still definitely an introvert. A lazy introvert that always ate Wade's food and took up the whole couch.

"But other than that?" Wade persisted, wondering if he was going to hit the question limit sometime soon. Not to mention there were other people in the food line that he didn't know if he could trust or not. As an untrusting mercenary, being in a room full of possibly threatening people was not exactly the most comforting thing in the world.

"Well, other than that I've got pretty much nothing. I don't like social events because I'm awkward and I constantly am almost giving away my identity." Peter stated, dishing something fancy looking onto his plate.

(Oh my sweet Jesus it really is Downey town.)

[Fancy food!]

"So you know anyone else besides Clint and Natasha?" Wade asked, changing the subject when he saw that Peter was starting to get more nervous the closer they got to other people.

"I know Wanda pretty well, and a couple of the X-Men, but mostly I just stick with who I know." Peter said, both of them done grabbing food as Wade started to walk towards the tables area before realising Peter wasn't following.

"No no no, we eat in the game room." Peter stated, pointing in the direction of a doorway that Wade could see had several pool and air hockey tables beyond it.

It was a decent sized room, and there were a couple different people hanging out there, Natasha and Clint already playing a game of pool in the far back corner as they walked towards it. With the Foosball and air hockey tables, the slightly crooked dart board, and the arcade games along one wall the place looked like a typical teenager hangout. It even had a couple of teenager-ish looking heroes by the front half of the room, a blonde girl watching her friend play one of the arcade machines in boredom to complete the teenage-hangout vibe.

"Starting without me?" Peter teased, sitting down in one of the foldable chairs along the back half of the room, Wade following his lead and doing the same, cautiously lifting up his mask to eat as Peter chatted with Clint and Natasha.

Usually, he'd be the first person to greet new people, but with the unfamiliar atmosphere and the two plates of food he was trying to balance on his lap, he decided he'd let Peter take this one. Wade was rather wary of saying anything anyways, simply for the fact that he didn't want to say the wrong thing and somehow hurt Peter. Hurting Peter was definitely a no-no. 

[So what? We're just going to go all silent? They're going to think we're weird now.]

(I don't think it matters really.)

[Ehhhhh but it's boringggg.]

(We have to think of Peter.)

"Exactly." Wade muttered before remembering he was around people he was supposed to make a good impression on, quickly taking a bite of the food on his plate, hoping that nobody had heard him. 

"So Deadpool, you've gotta tell us how you met Spider-man." Clint said, plopping in the seat next to Wade that wasn't Peter's, nearly causing his food-plate-balance to be completely thrown off and cause the precious dessert plate to go tumbling to the floor before Wade managed to save it.

[What do we say?]

(Just go with the first time we met 'Spider-man.' It wasn't like we "knew-knew" it was him until the skyscraper thing.)

[Stop using quotes, that's annoying.]

(You're annoying.)

[Your mom's annoying.]

"Uh, I met Spidey on a fire escape, and then we went and got food." Wade stated, taking another bite of whatever fancy named chicken was on his plate to avoid having to say more.

To be honest Wade couldn't even really remember what food they had gotten that night, or really anything they talked about. Peter had mostly been silent the whole night other than a couple of sarcastic comments or quips, but even then it had probably been one of the most amazing nights of Wade's life, considering it had been one of the final puzzle pieces of figuring out Peter was Spider-man, and at that point he was over the moon for the kid already. Of course, it wasn't anything like what Wade felt now, but more of an amazement/admiration thing. Just the fact Spider-man would even think about willingly being in Wade's presence at the time had been thrilling.  

[How many times do we have to remind you to stop saying kid.]

(It sounds so wrongggg.)


Deadpool nearly took Johnny Storm's head off with Bea and Arthur before he realised it was, in fact, Johnny Storm who had practically flown in here and hugged Peter.

"Wha- Torch what are you doing here?" Peter asked happily, Wade getting an uncomfortable feeling in his chest as Natasha and Clint welcomed Johnny Storm as well. 

It felt like he was intruding in on somebody else's family dinner and he hadn't been given an invitation but was still hanging around anyways. 

"It's been so long? Where have you been? It was getting to the point I was thinking of going to track you down and find you myself." Storm joked, Wade glancing towards the door and wondering if he'd be able to just leave the building. Would Stark get mad if he did? Would Peter?

He didn't want to just abandon Peter here, but he also didn't really feel like sticking around and just kind of... existing. He wasn't doing anything, he was just following Peter around and awkwardly eavesdropping on all his friend reunions.

[We're like the weird kid at the birthday party that was only given an invitation because the birthday kid's mom forced them to.]

(This sucks.)

[Major suckage.]

"-and this is Wade, my boyfriend."




"Wait, boyfriend? You didn't say anything about that." Natasha cut in, Clint looking equally curious, several eyes now on him. 

"Did I not mention that before? Huh, well this is my boyfriend. Tada~" Peter said, Wade able to hear the cheeky smile in Peter's voice even if he couldn't see it with the mask. 

"Hi." Wade waved uncomfortably, not exactly sure he should be focused on them or the cheesecake he had on his plate.

He wasn't really sure what Peter was playing at today. First, he was acting all shy and stuff and now he's just gone out and outed himself. Wasn't Wade accidentally outing Peter been the main concern? It had been an unspoken concern, and they hadn't really talked about it, but still. Or maybe Wade had just been worrying about nothing for no reason again. He seemed to be doing that a lot these days.

"So wait you disappear for 3 months and now you're back with a mercenary boyfriend?" Johnny asked in confusion, Wade thankful that it was confusion rather than anger they all seemed to have on their face (and hey, they at least knew him!). The last thing Wade wanted was for Peter to be in trouble with his super friends just because of him.

"Ex-mercenary. And I met him about a month ago." Peter informed them cheerfully, seeming to enjoy their complete lack of understanding of the situation.

"So you're dating a guy you met a month ago?" Clint questioned with raised eyebrows, Wade feeling like he had no say in which way this conversation was going. Should he say something? Why were no words coming to mind? What was he supposed to say?

"Guess so, yeah." Peter said, tossing his already empty plate in a nearby trashcan. When had Peter had the time to eat all that? Wade still had one and a half plates left. He shovelled a large bite of his cheesecake into his mouth for good measure, watching everyone's reactions carefully, noting that overall they'd seemed to recover from the news fairly quickly. Were they used to Peter having mercenary boyfriends or something?

Although if there was one thing to take from all of this, it was that Peter wasn't embarrassed of him. He'd willingly admitted to dating Wade, and he had seemed happy to say it too. Peter wanted people to know he was dating Wade, he was proud of it. Wade felt a ridiculous smile start to sneak its way onto his face, doing his best to stop it by eating another large piece of cheesecake. He could seriously not afford to be weirdly smiling like an insane person in front of people he needed to make a good impression on.

As much as Peter liked these people and trusted them, Wade wasn't really sure if he trusted them yet. He wanted to trust them, but it still didn't change the fact he was starting to get antsy with how many people were looking at him with his mask pulled up to his nose to eat.

"Johnny you up for a game?" Peter asked, easily catching the pool cue Natasha tossed him at the words and redirecting the topic off of Wade like it was nothing. And just like that, the eyes were off him and on Peter.

It was kind of nice to have someone who could read you like that, without even saying anything. It was like Peter just knew he was starting to feel nervous and then did something about it. Nobody just did stuff for Wade, at least not without some sort of reward being involved, but Peter was different. Peter actually cared. Peter cared for Wade like he cared for himself, more so even, putting Wade's comfort and well-being above his own. 

Wade wanted to do the same and everything more for the younger man, his chest almost physically aching for how grateful he was. He was completely enthralled with Peter and in moments like this his emotions almost flooded his sense to the point he didn't even know how to function anymore, simply just staring at the brown haired boy who was talking to Johnny Storm. 

If Peter wanted Wade to get along with these people then Wade was more then willing. Even if Peter's friends weren't as willing to be friends with him. Although they were surprisingly accepting of him so far. 

Of course, it was still kind of awkward being in a group of people he didn't really know and that Peter very much so did, but it wasn't like Wade wasn't adaptable. It was sort of just a weirdly new situation to be stuck in with someone else. Wade wasn't really used to having somebody else there when he was thrown into new situations and groups he was supposed to get along with.

"Yeah, I mean sure, but what happened while you were away dude?" Johnny asked, Wade immediately seeing that both Natasha and Clint were listening in as they played their own game of pool on the adjacent table. 

"Eh, y'know, fell off some buildings, took out some bad guys, nothing abnormal." Peter joked, tossing Wade a pool cue from the rack of them.

"Me and Wade against you and Clint." Peter said, Natasha looking annoyed about being left out of the teams, but not looking surprised. Apparently, spider-mom wasn't very pool-savvy.

(Don't call her spider-mom. That's weird.)

[We're probably older than her. Ugh.]

"Oh sure, put me with the hot head. Can I not finish the game I'm currently playing?" Clint asked sarcastically, Wade quickly devouring the rest of the creampuffs on his plate he'd been eating like popcorn chicken before standing up to take the pool cue Peter was handing him.

"What, you can't play two games at a time? Learn to multi-task Clint, geez." Peter teased, the only response being an exaggerated eye-roll from Clint. 

The pool game was surprisingly close between the two teams, seeing as Clint Barton was on one of them, but in the end, it was Peter and Wade who won, and when they played rematches it was Wade and Peter that won again, and again, and again. And not because Wade was good (He was starting to think he wasn't as good as he'd thought), but because Peter somehow used the power of science or mathematics or whatever it was again. Why did science somehow trump actual skill? In what universe did science beat Hawkeye?

[This some batty logic happenin']

(Mhmmm, maybe pool is another secret superpower of his.)

[Or Hawkeye is only good with arrows.]

(Nah, doesn't he use snipers sometimes?)

[I don't know, I'm not a Hawkeye specialist.]

"Okay, well it's been fun, but I've got people to introduce my darling too." Peter said in an overexaggerated lovey-couple voice, Wade enjoying the confused and slightly concerned looks on Peter's friend's faces when the younger hero leaned against him, looping their arms and literally dragging Wade out of the room as they said their goodbyes.

"You must really like confusing your friends." Wade murmured once he was sure they were out of earshot. 

"Well, if they're going to be awkward about it anyways then I might as well give them something to be awkward about, y'know?" Peter said, not unlooping their arms once they were out of sight of Peter's superfriends.

"Where exactly are we going now?" Wade questioned as they passed table after table. The crowd of heroes had thinned out from when they'd first arrived, several new heroes, in costume and out, filling the now empty spaces where previous heroes had been. Most the food had either been eaten or put away and now it was mostly just people talking around the various circular tables, the remaining few tables of conversation being the ones that Wade wasn't as keen as Peter on walking towards. Which is probably the main reason Peter had looped their arms, the cheeky bastard. 

"Pete!" Wanda Maximoff greeted happily, setting Wade immediately on an edge. She was called the Scarlet Witch because she had psychic powers right? So was she going to read Wade's mind? Could someone even read his mind? Last he checked it didn't go well for people.

[Fight us you witch!]

(Come at us!)

[We will ATTAC.]


[So she cannot come bac.]


"Hey, been a while." Peter greeted warmly, calming Wade ever so slightly. It still didn't help that Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, Vision, Dr. Strange, Tony Stark and Pepper Potts were all sitting at the table with Wanda. Not too much pressure, right?

So apparently everyone at the Intense Table™ knew Peter?

"So I was just going to say bye before we left." Peter said, speaking to Stark who looked more surprised to see him than anybody else here, which was saying something since he'd been the one to give the invitation in the first place. 

"You must've just got here though? Leaving already?" Wanda asked sadly, not helping to clear Wade's suspicion of her.

(She's trying to steal our man!)

[Kill her!]

(No we aren't supposed to do that anymore.)

[Maim her!]

(Maim her!)

"No maiming." Wade muttered, freezing when Captain America gave him a suspicious look. 

"No mining. Like Minecraft. You know that game? Great game. You probably haven't heard of it, since you're not really the technology type..."  Wade trailed on, feeling like he was only really digging himself a deeper hole.

"You're not leaving because he's going to freak out or anything, right?" Stark asked sceptically, Wade feeling like he'd just suddenly lost all the trust he'd built up with one accidental word slip. 

His life was over. Captain America and Iron Man both hated him now, they probably wanted to lock him away, or lock Peter away in some helicopter-parent tower with fancy security where Wade would never ever be able to reach him. It was the end of the world. His life was ruined.

"What? No, I'm leaving because this place is awkward and I'm bored." Peter said flatly, being uncharacteristically blunt and throwing Wade off for a moment. Had that really been Peter just now? Was the Stark diva-ness rubbing off on him?

"Boring? If that's the only reason we need then can I leave too?" Pepper joked, Tony giving her an annoyed and unimpressed look that was scarily similar to Peter's, or was Peter's annoyed face like Tony's? Was Wade just dating a younger and more angelic version of Tony Stark? ...That was too weird to think about.

"Nice seeing you again then." Bruce piped in, giving a small wave which Peter returned, already starting to turn towards the exit now.

"Wait, Peter-" Tony started, halting Peter as both him and Wade waited for what the man had to say.

"Just- Stay safe, kid." Stark sighed, Wade almost jealous of Peter's protective superfamily, even though he knew that having Tony Stark as an overprotective wannabe-parent must seriously suck. Still, must be nice to know you weren't alone, even if you had to put up with constant texts and calls from the paranoid genius.

"You too." Peter replied genuinely, some of the stress coming off Wade's shoulders as he heard it. Maybe Peter and Stark could be a little rough around the edges sometimes, but in the end, they seemed to come through. They were both beyond stubborn. There was no way they would give up on each other.

That was one thing that Wade was completely in love with when it came to Peter. The fact he was more resilient than anything Wade had ever come across was seriously something he envied. It could be something as simple as getting out of a car or something bigger like fighting a giant lizard, but no matter how hard you hit him, if you could manage to hit him, he always seemed to come right back.

Wade quickly came back to reality as Peter tugged him towards the exit, not needing to tug much to get Wade moving along with him. 

"Now we are going home." Peter murmured, pressing slightly closer as Wade's mind jumped to infinitely dirty possibilities for what that statement could mean. 

"As in..?" Wade pressed, waggling his eyebrows at the younger man jokingly. 

"Y'know, Minecraft? We should play it at your place." Peter teased, his tone implying like it was totally obvious, yet the cheeky undertone in his voice letting Wade know that Peter fully intended for it to sound the way it did. 

"And maybe if you're lucky we can do other stuff." Peter added, Wade nearly tripping over air at that implication. 

[Holy blind cheerleaders, Batman.]

(Who knew all we had to do was suffer through awkward social events.)

"And by other stuff you mean..?" Wade inquired, feeling like this was the whole kissing incident all over again. Was Peter serious or was he not serious? He looked sort of serious with the way he was looking at Wade, but what did that mean? 

"Just take me home, Wade." Peter said in a low voice that undoubtedly showcased a smile behind his mask, Wade not having to be told twice after that.






Chapter Text



Received 04:58: ive got some bad news.

Peter woke up with a start, glancing at his alarm clock and wondering if it was 2 AM again and he'd have to carry another groggy conversation about something random with Wade. It seemed like Wade was determined about ruining his sleep schedule. And on a Saturday no less.

Although it wasn't 2 AM, it was 5 AM. Was it not Wade then?

Peter quickly took his phone out from under his pillow, seeing Wade's name with the text message before actually seeing the text message. Did his favourite taco stand go out of business? Was there some villain in town? What kind of bad news? If it was so bad then why not just call?

Unless it's so bad he couldn't bring himself to call?

But what would be so bad that you'd have to text it to somebody instead of calling them? Was it a prank? A way to get Peter to respond? The latter seemed likely.

Sent 04:59: worse news than waking me up at 5 am on a saturday? what? are you pregnant?

Received 04:59: evyn came back.

That woke Peter up.

Evyn Egerton back? After 3 weeks of no murders and zero leads as to where he had gone? Had he simply been laying low and waiting for the perfect time to attack? 


Sent 05:00: Is Aiden okay?

Received 05:01: no.

Peter's heart sank in his chest, his mind immediately racing to the worst possibility while he tried to convince himself that didn't mean what he thought it meant. Because Evyn wouldn't just capture Aiden or tie him up to monologue to him, he would just kill him where he stood. 

Sent 05:02: dead?

Received 05:02: yeah, drowned like the other victims. 

Sent 05:03: oh.

Aiden Burke was dead. 

After everything they had done to try and keep the man safe, it still hadn't been enough. 

Why had they underestimated Evyn? If they had kept him with Bob a little while longer and tried harder to track Evyn down then Aiden Burke could still be living his life, planning on rebuilding his family's name like he'd wanted.

Peter's eyes strayed to the ring resting on his nightstand that Aiden had given him that night as his thanks, the ring now put on a chain in a necklace sort of way, Peter often times wearing it around his neck under his clothes when he went out as his civilian-self. A private reminder of why he did what he did when he was Spider-man and why it was so important to him. 

"Think of the ring as safekeeping until I can fully repay you."  

Peter gently reached out and touched the cold metal, his fingers gliding over the pretty gems that seemed so dull in the darkness. 

Peter glanced at his phone as the screen lit up with Wade's face, the incoming call one that Peter debated rejecting. 

He hadn't really known Aiden at all, but it felt like Aiden had been more than just someone he'd saved. Aiden had been a potential friend, a kid with a good future, someone whose circumstance had ended up destroying him. Aiden didn't deserve to die just because his father was a bad person. Why had Evyn even thought along those lines? Couldn't Evyn see that he was killing innocent people for the sake of some vendetta?

"Hello?" Peter answered weakly, unsure if he'd be able to get through this phone call without having some sort of mental breakdown. 

"How're you doing..? I know you and Aiden were kind of close in a way." Wade said cautiously, not doing much to help Peter. He'd kind of been hoping Wade was just playing a prank on him and would shout 'just kidding!' when he picked up the phone, but Wade definitely didn't sound like he was kidding. He kind of sounded like he was on the verge of a breakdown too. 

"We need to capture Evyn. No matter what it takes." Peter sighed, doing his best to avoid any personal feelings and quickly move on to what had to be done to make sure something like this didn't happen again. It was a gift and a curse that came from being a superhero for so long. You couldn't save everyone, but you could learn from those mistakes to make sure it didn't happen again and save the tears for later. The soldier mentality hadn't failed him yet. 

"Yeah, I've got Weasel and Bob working on finding the guy right now, although Bob was pretty broken up about it. It might take a while to find him if he disappears like last time."

"Where are you right now? I'll come to you and we can start looking." Peter said, holding his head in his hands as he talked, still waking up.

"I've already got Weasel keeping tabs on the security cameras of every which direction out of New York, including every pier or waterfront security camera out there. At this point, it's pretty much just a waiting game to see where he shows up first."

"You can't just tell me something like this and then expect me to do nothing about it." Peter growled, moving closer to the window so as to not wake Aunt May in the other room with the conversation.

"Peter even if we go out now, the likelihood of finding Evyn is pretty much 0%. We can't actually do anything." Wade said quietly, Peter calming slightly at that. He didn't want to lash out at Wade for all of this, he just wanted to catch Evyn. It was personal now and he wanted to hunt Evyn down to personally show him just how much he should regret his decision.

"What if we asked Stark to track him? He has the technology and the resources to do it." Peter sighed again, placing his forehead against the cold glass of the window, looking down at the still dark street.

"...We could, I guess? If that's really what you want to do."

"I just don't want to lose him again, not this time." Peter murmured quietly, watching as the sky turned the darkest shade of purple as the sun started to rise. The sun itself wouldn't be up for a while, but the colour was still bleeding into the dark clouds above.

Peter jumped as Wade hopped down from the fire escape to land on Peter's fire escape, giving a small wave almost as a way of showing he was no threat. "What are you doing?" Peter asked, ending the call and opening the window, still keeping his voice low in case Aunt May woke up. 

"I'm making sure you don't run off and do something stupid like try to find Evyn and take him on by yourself. Because if you remember correctly, we still have no idea on how to actually catch him." Wade pointed out, stepping into the room as Peter stepped back some to let him in. 

"So what, you're babysitting me now?" Peter scowled, partially hurt that Wade would think he was that stupid. He'd think of some sort of plan first at least.

"No, not really, I'm just depressed and lonely." Wade stated flatly, pulling Peter close to him before falling back onto his bed in one swift movement, Peter on top of him as Wade landed on the bed on his back. The movement surprised Pete at first, but he didn't fight it.

"You know that if I wanted to go find Evyn right now I could get up and leave and you wouldn't be able to stop me." Peter stated, not buying any pity excuses like loneliness. After all, they both had failed today, and Peter knew that Wade liked action better than waiting too. So why were they waiting? Who liked waiting better than doing something?

He's right about waiting though. Logically there's nothing I can do now. Not without a well thought out plan at least.

"I was kind of hoping you'd take my feelings into account here." Wade said, hugging Peter a little closer as the younger hero just sighed and pulled Wade's mask off, feeling slightly better when he could see Wade's face. 

"I really am sorry about Aiden." Wade murmured, voice sounding as loud as a gunshot in the quiet room, even with the traffic outside and the echoes of car horns and trains in the distance. 

"It wasn't your fault. If anything it's my fault for falling off that building and keeping us from capturing Yvette for questioning." Peter muttered, resting his chin on Wade's chest, resisting the urge to yawn and drift back to sleep. Someone was dead because of him and here he was nearly falling asleep. How messed up was that.

"Let's not forget I was the one who shot Yvette, you falling off that building had nothing to do with it." Wade reminded sternly, Peter still not about to blame that completely on Wade.

Instead of arguing he decided to just not say anything in response, turning his head so that he could hear Wade's heart instead of the car alarm going off a couple miles away. Super senses weren't always fun, especially when you were anxious and easily overwhelmed by them in stressful situations.

He didn't even register Wade's fingers gently combing through his hair until he was almost completely asleep again, his chest still aching from the loss of another innocent person on his watch.

Not that he had been keeping watch. No, instead he'd been running around like an idiot, completely oblivious to what might happen if he let his guard down.

Why was it always the innocent ones who died? Why was life this cruel?


The ringing of an incoming call scared Peter half to death, his still sleep delirious mind hardly even realising he was now on the ceiling, heart racing. 

"Hello?" Wade answered huskily, looking as tired as Peter was as Peter slowly dropped down from the ceiling, sitting on the bed and listening in on the call in confusion. 

"You said that Evyn Egerton had left the city, right?" 

That was Stark. What was Stark calling Wade for? And about Evyn? What was going on? 

Peter glanced at the clock to see it was currently 8 in the morning. Usually, on the weekends Aunt May would wake him up for breakfast at 9. He'd have to get Wade out of here by then or risk getting more awkward talks with Aunt May. 

"Yeeeaaah? Did you happen to catch sight of him?" Wade asked, rubbing his eyes and yawning as he also glanced at the clock.

"You could say that." There was a loud crashing sound in the background of the call along with someone yelling. That didn't sound like a peaceful crashing either, that wasn't a 'whoops I dropped a coffee mug' that was a 'whoops I dropped a 5 story building.'

"Stark what's going on? Where are you?" Wade asked quickly, making eye-contact with Peter and pointing at where he kept his Spider-man suit, Peter getting the memo quickly and moving to grab it.

"Brooklyn. Trust me, it will be hard to miss. Pretty sure your serial killer just went supernova." Stark yelped, the call abruptly ending as both Peter and Wade quickly suited up.

"Did you drive here?" Peter demanded, Wade shaking his head, "Teleported."

"I- what? You teleported?" Peter asked incredulously forgetting his haste for a short moment. Teleportation was actually possible? He thought that was limited to only specific mutants? Did Wade have another ability he had neglected to share with the class?

"I got this belt thingy that Weasel made a while back. It's kind of like a 50/50 chance that it will severely maim you, so hold on tight." Wade advised, Peter very much not okay with 'severely maiming.'

"I don't k-" Before Peter could finish that sentence Wade had grabbed his arm and one second they were in Peter's room, and the next they were on top of a freakishly tall apartment building, staring down at the busy-busy part of Brooklyn.

"Holy-" Wade began, "Shit." Peter finished for him, Wade just sighing as Peter gave him a sheepish look. Sometimes he forgot Wade was weirdly sensitive to colourful language for some reason. Which was weird, because he'd pretty much been cursing like a sailor for the past week.

"Is that Evyn?" Peter asked in disbelief, watching as a giant vaguely human-shaped water blob made its way through Brooklyn streets, cars hydroplaning with every step.

"If we couldn't stop him before then we're real screwed now." Wade stated, Peter silently agreeing with him as he watched with the knowledge that he couldn't do anything about it. None of his abilities would be able to be on par with Evyn's, Wade being just as useless against something like this.

So what were they supposed to do? 

Electrifying him would most likely do nothing, you couldn't freeze something that big, there was no way to evaporate him. So what could they do?

Peter watched in horror as Evyn hit a large residential tower, the building leaning for a moment before completely giving out in pieces, crushing businesses and shops beneath the large blocks of the building. 

"We need to evacuate buildings and everything underneath." Peter realised quickly, shooting a web at a nearby building and throwing the end at Wade before jumping from the building himself, shooting a web and swinging towards the thick of the destruction.

If there was one thing Peter could do it was get people out of the rubble. He'd been stuck underneath crushing weight of buildings before and it was a terrifying feeling, one he didn't want any kids suffering through. He had to get to the rubble and save them.

It no longer mattered if he'd woken up ten minutes ago, or if Aunt May would wake up wondering where he'd gone, or that he and Ned had planned to hang out and work on the prototype suit today-- all that mattered was saving these people from Evyn and reducing his kill-count as much as possible.

Peter had to push down the echoes of fear that came back from when he was 15 as he swung down to the ground, his mask not doing much to fend off the suffocating dust cloud that rose with the building that had fallen.

Almost immediately he heard screams and cries for help, his ears picking it up from in the rubble, outside of it, around it, paired with the sirens from everywhere and the Iron Man blaster sounds now coming from maybe a mile away. It was all just a tad overwhelming.

Focus Peter, you got this, listen for the closest voice and get to work.

Piece by piece he started moving large chunks of building, putting all his strength into lifting rock and moving it off the people trapped inside along with any furniture that got in the way, or cars, or other pieces of building from that of which the much larger building had crushed.

The first few minutes of being on the ground were terrifying and beyond overwhelming, with all the sounds that he had to filter through to get to the ones he needed to hear, and the crushing suffocating feeling that pressed in on him from all sides with the dust. 

He'd saved two people before he'd started to get to the bodies that were stuck further underneath the rubble, occasionally dead bodies having to be moved from the rocks. After losing Aiden only a couple of hours ago, it felt like each new body was another to add to the people he'd indirectly killed pile. It felt like his heart was physically about to burst with the guilt it brought him, not even noticing when he'd started crying as he worked to free people.

Eventually, Peter simply went into hero-mode, not allowing himself to be disturbed by the dead or the strain it brought him to lift things much too heavy for him, not to mention the dirt he breathed in every second.

He no longer kept track of time. Unable to do so with the dirt still so thick everywhere.

There was disaster relief coming in to help him, firefighters to help fight the rising fires starting from broken gas pipes and fallen power lines.

It was all so unreal and cold.

New York had seen many disasters, many brought on by superheroes and supervillains, but every single time it happened it felt like they were always unprepared.

And how could they prepare for this? For homes to be brought crashing down from the skies to be dragged down into the streets by giant Godzilla-like monsters.

How could anyone protect the city from this?

New York's disaster relief system had become more advanced in the past few years, and the alien tech gun dealing he'd stopped before had actually started to come in handy for the police and firefighters, especially tech like the anti-gravity gun that could lift stuff like the concrete Peter was lifting, but was it all enough?

Would his city be able to take more hits like this one?

Focus Peter, focus on saving these people. They need me.





Finding the dead bodies of kids were the worst.

Not even the numbed state he'd been in could help soften that blow.

Bodies of people who'd been mangled in the descent of the building to the point where they were unrecognizable.

Peter vomited with the first mangled body, but slowly started to mentally shut down at the third. 

Time felt like it had frozen completely, and yet it still felt like he was on a timer, trying to find the people trapped underneath all the rubble and keep them from suffocating or being crushed to death.

One slip up and someone died.

It wasn't just this building either, it was the one down the road, and the one past that. Giant fallen towers with thousands of people inside, now all trapped underneath the rubble. 

I have to save them.

I have to save all of them.

Peter didn't let himself stop, just kept going and going, trying to find them all and keep them from dying, even though he could hear the faint sounds of heartbeats pounding and dying as he dug. 

Each dying heartbeat weighed on his shoulders more than any of the heavy chunks of concrete could.

His arms were starting to shake as he moved another large rock to the large growing piles he had a little ways away, his chest feeling heavy from all the dust.

Karen had a built-in filter, but it was nowhere near as upgraded as it needed to be for the extent to which it was currently being used.


Peter carefully placed another large rock on the pile before turning to see a firefighter, one of the high tier ones going by the uniform. "Take a break son, we'll work on it from here. We don't want you passing out. There are some spare masks and air tanks by the trucks, any one of those guys would be glad to loan you one." The firefighter said kindly, Peter nodding and murmuring words of thanks before he shakily moved towards the truck he presumed the firefighter had come from.

But he didn't come out of the haze he was in, even with the fresh air that wasn't heavy with dirt.

He couldn't.

I have to save them.

After resting some and getting air into his lungs he went right back to moving concrete, helping dig people out of the rubble.

The number of bodies he couldn't save felt like knives to his chest.

Why didn't I try to find  Evyn ?

Why did I just assume he was gone? 


I could've saved all these people.

Peter moved a large piece of concrete to see a little boy not more than 6 or 7 with his legs trapped under a rather large piece of steel, wide eyes turning to stare at him in panic.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. What's your name?" Peter asked gently as he very carefully made his way towards the boy, not wanting to spook him and have him hurt his legs even more than they probably were.

"Miles." The boy whimpered, making an effort to move the massive piece of steel off his legs himself.

"It's going to be okay Miles, I'm going to get you out of here." Peter promised, sliding down to where the steel was, knowing he wasn't going to be able to just pick this one up like the rest. He couldn't move skyscrapers, and this piece of steel had most likely been one of the core building blocks for the ex-building.

"Alright Miles, I'm going to lift this steel and I'm going to need you to pull yourself out from under it, okay? Can you do that for me?" Peter asked worriedly, hoping the kid's legs were still functional.

It seemed like they should be with the way the steel was angled but if his legs were broken then the kid might not be able to move himself.

"I think so." Miles said determinedly, Peter having the utmost respect for the tiny kid.

"Okay, 3, 2... 1." Peter counted down, using all the strength he had left to lift the steel, the kid quickly pulling himself out from under it right before Peter's arms gave out and he collapsed. 

He was safe.

"Are your legs alright? Can you stand?" Peter questioned tiredly, not sure if he'd be able to stand himself if he tried to get up from where he was currently sat, legs not having outlasted his weak arms.

"I think so, but I'm not leaving without you." Miles said sternly, crawling over to sit next to Peter, a stubborn look on his face, a slowly drying cut below one of his eyes. 

The kid needed medical attention.

"Miles it's okay, I'll be alright, I need you to go towards the firetrucks, okay?" Peter tried, not exactly sure he wanted the kid making his way through all the rubble towards the trucks by himself anyways.

"No. I'm staying with you." The kid reaffirmed, giving him a look that said he wasn't messing around.

"It's alright kiddo, I've got it from here."

Both Peter and Miles turned to see Iron Man come down from the sky, faceplate popping up to reveal Tony Stark in the flesh, attracting the attention of several firefighters who began to walk towards them.

"Stark." Peter greeted tiredly, that being the only word he could really manage as he felt his whole body resisting any form of movement.

It felt like now that he'd allowed himself a break, his body just wanted to completely give in and quit working.

"You, my friend, are done. You've been working non-stop, I know that for a fact by the way because I had Natasha keep an eye on you, and I know you have definitely hit your limit. Now no arguments, you're done." Stark said, waving at one of the firefighters to come over and take care of the kid who was still sitting loyally next to Peter.

Peter had to acknowledge the fact that even if he wanted to argue he probably wouldn't be able to. His brain felt completely fried, like he'd just sent it through a microwave for just enough time for it to be on the verge of exploding. 

"Miles, the firefighters will help you with your cut, you should go with them." Peter sighed, slightly surprised when the kid gave him a quick hug before running off towards the firefighters.

"Good grief kid, you look like you got sent through a meat grinder." Stark muttered, walking towards him as Peter just made a face of begrudging agreement, seeing as he probably looked about as bad as he felt, and he knew for a fact he had some holes in his fancy Stark suit thanks to some annoying wires and steel bars.

"What happened to Evyn." Peter asked, not even arguing when Stark bent down to pick him up like he weighed nothing. He'd rather suffer the embarrassment of seeing this in the media tomorrow rather than swing home himself on noodle arms. He didn't want a repeat of the Park Avenue building incident.

"Wanda managed to secure him in a watertight canister and we're already working on where he should be held and what he'll be charged with. Bruce is working on a way to reverse the self-made mutation." Stark listed, Peter feeling slightly better now that he knew Evyn was contained and wasn't causing any more harm to the city.

"What about Wade?" Peter asked, wondering what the ex-merc had decided to do after Peter had sort of abandoned him on top of that skyscraper.

"I'm not really sure, personally I haven't seen him, but I'm sure somebody has. I'll ask around." Stark commented, flying them out of the still lingering dust cloud and back into fresh air. Fresh late noon air.

"How long was I down there?" Peter asked in amazement, head spinning.

"It's 7 PM, you tell me." Stark sighed tiredly, sounding just as exhausted as Peter was.

No wonder he'd been so exhausted, seeing as he'd been moving concrete for the whole day, but that did provide him with a scary realisation.

Wade hadn't called him in all that time with everything that was happening. And while Peter might be able to go into shutdown mode and forget about existing, Wade was someone who would at least call Peter once to make sure he was okay.

"Tony, what really happened to Wade." Peter muttered, a thousand possibilities racing through his head.

Could he be dead? 

He'd just come back though so it wasn't like he'd stay dead, although how long did Wade stay dead? 

If he wasn't dead then where was he? What was he doing? 

Wade didn't have any serious super strength or sort of ability like Peter that could be used in situations like moving buildings. He'd said he was going to evacuate buildings, right? 

Had he been in one when it had fallen? 

Was he in a constant loop of dying, unable to escape the rubble?

"It's fine, I saw him a while ago." Stark reassured, the nonspecific time not reassuring Peter in the slightest.

"You don't know where he is, do you?" Peter asked quietly, feeling like all his darkest assumptions were going to come true and they wouldn't find Wade until he'd died so many times in succession that he'd just stay dead. Was that something that could happen? What were the limits to Wade's ability?

"No, we know the general area he disappeared in, we've been looking for him. But you need to rest." Stark demanded, Peter feeling the jolt that signified they'd landed, although where he wasn't sure.

Peter squirmed, Stark eventually allowing him to stand on his own two feet, his legs recovered enough already that he could at least stand, albeit he wavered. He must've seriously overestimated the weight of some of that rubble. It wouldn't surprise him, considering there had been pretty heavy steel beams in most of it. 

Either way, he needed a serious nap considering his regenerative abilities weren't working as fast as they should be, which could only mean that he had not only exhausted himself with heavy lifting, but with lack of food too. When was the last time he ate something? He hadn't had dinner last night because he'd been patrolling, and he hadn't had any time for food this morning for obvious reasons. 

"Just get some rest kid, we'll find him." Stark murmured as Peter saw the couch, Wade's couch, falling onto it with his face pressed against the side, begging his thoughts to be quiet for just a couple minutes.

He knew Wade would probably be okay; Wade was always okay, no matter what you threw him through. Peter had known there would be times like this where he'd lose Wade, and he'd told himself he wouldn't do this blind worrying thing when it happened, yet here he was, doing the stupid uncalled for worrying. 

Wade would come back. 

He always came back.

But it still felt terrifying to know that Wade was probably trapped under some building somewhere, just like the bodies he'd pulled from the rubble today, most likely dead.

He'll come back.


please come back.





Chapter Text



(We just haaad to save the brown-eyed Bambi girl didn't we.)

[She had Peter's doe eyes. There was nothing that could be done.]

(Yeah but did we really have to go and get ourselves crushed by some giant building to save her? We're probably under tons and tons worth of rocks and you're okay with that?)

[We saved the little girl, I don't see the problem. It isn't like she can regenerate.]

(The PROBLEM is now we're TRAPPED UNDER A BUILDING. And you want to know another thing? PETER DOESN'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE.)

[So? You don't have to yell.]

(SO, Peter is probably out looking for us or something, completely wearing himself out.)

[Stark wouldn't let that happen.]

(You really think Stark could stop him? The second he is able he'll be out looking for us till he drops.)

[...we don't know that though.]

(Yes, we do. It's Peter.)

[But when it came to Evyn he was able to admit nothing could be done but wait, so why is now any different.]

(Because. He can help look.)

Wade shifted in and out of consciousness, wondering just how bad his wounds were.

He could feel himself regenerating, and the blood that was slowly dripping down his head was fairly warm, so he either hadn't died yet or he'd died earlier and hadn't woken up until now. If that was the case then time was completely lost to him at this rate, seeing as he couldn't even see an inch in front of him. Pitch black, no matter where he tried to look.

Not that he really could, seeing as there was a head-splitting sort of pain whenever he tried to look around. Most likely a piece of the building had either lodged itself in his head, healed inside, and was now trying to push itself back out or there was the alternative, of something being stabbed through his head and couldn't make its way out of his skull.

(That evil Bambi eyed little girl. Making us save her like that.)

[Nobody made us save her, we just did. She was like a younger genderbent Peter. How could we not save her.]

(Okay, well could we at least saved our self along with her?)

No, we would have both died. The only way to save her was to throw her towards her dad. We would never have made it just by running.


[Don't 'eh' common sense. It was the only way.]


We need to find a way to get out and get this thing out of our skull.

(Good luck with that, we're probably a whole lot more than 6 feet under.)

[He's got a point.]

We can teleport out.

(If you can find a way to reach anything in the position we're in then I'll applaud you.)

[So what do we do?]


Wade tried to open his mouth to speak, only to find that his face was firmly against asphalt, shoulders flexing to reveal crushing weight against them, fingers opening and closing to show they were broken.

(We're royally fu#$%!.)

Wade tried to squirm against the pressing weight, finding that he had little to no wiggle room, and whatever he was currently impaled on wasn't going to let him get very far with the wiggle room he had. 

There was no space whatsoever to move. With the intense crushing weight of broken concrete pressing him firmly into the broken street below, and the smaller pieces of rubble falling into the empty spaces around him. It felt like being buried alive, and for someone who couldn't die, the thought of being buried alive under all that debris wasn't one of comfort. Especially not when Peter could be out there worrying himself sick over Wade's unimportant wellbeing. 

(So we just wait then..?)

[I guess.]

Then just like that, all the weight was suddenly gone, replaced with muffled sounds and voices that Wade either couldn't hear and decipher or simply couldn't decipher due to whatever was in his brain. 

(What are they saying?)

[Dude I don't even know what's going on, chill.]


[Permitted is a big word for you, congrats.]

(Shut up, you didn't even bother to say congratulations all the way.)

Wade grunted in pain as something was pulled out of the side of his head, eyes adjusting to the light as he was brought to his feet, doing his best not to lean too much on the hand steadying him.

"-waiting for you."

"Wait wait, repeat please." Wade rasped, finally starting to make sense of his surroundings again.

It was much darker out then when he'd been crushed, and there were a lot more toppled buildings, but all things considered, it didn't look so bad for a city that had just been ravaged by a bloodthirsty Godzilla sized tsunami monster.

There was a large metal pipe not too far away that had possibly come from the concrete structure of a building, the reddish tint of the metal now much darker from what Wade assumed was his own blood. That explained why he didn't understand English at first. 

"I said, that Peter is waiting for you."

"Oh, thanks." Wade muttered, turning to his saviour, the one and only, Tony Stark, with a look of complete trademarked Stark discontentment on his face. Wade had never been so happy to see that face before. If he wasn't still mentally recovering he probably would've hugged him, or kissed him, although he was saving the kisses for Peter.

"I dropped Peter off at your place. I'd head there before he decides we're taking too long with finding you." Stark said with an overdramatic and diva-like sigh, Wade feeling grateful regardless. After all, Stark had just admitted to looking for him specifically, even if it was for Peter's sake.

"I mean it Stark, you won't catch me saying this again, even if you paid me, but thanks for everything." Wade stated honestly, feeling weirdly fuzzy at the fact people cared, even if it was just because it would affect Peter if they didn't.

"Like I've said before, as long as you're treating my kid right and protecting him then I have no issue with you. Just don't mess up." Stark reminded, Wade remembering the first time he'd met Stark over Peter related circumstances. It had been a heavy talk, primarily because Peter had fallen off a building the day before, but it had been well worth it in the end.

"Don't worry Mr. Starker I've been treating him just right." Wade replied slyly, unable to help himself from saying it. Stark had practically been asking for that. What had he honestly been expecting Wade to say?

(Hehe, Starker. Like Parker but Stark. I like it.)

[That was dumb, even for us.]

"It's not too late to put the pole back in your head, Wilson." Stark glared, Wade quickly holding his hands up in surrender before Stark put a hole through his chest with those fancy Iron Man gloves. He wasn't looking to waste any more time if Peter was as worried as Stark seemed to think he was.

"But for real. Thanks." Wade said, giving Stark one last thankful look and no time to respond before he teleported into his own living room to escape the possibly awkward dad-in-law talk he might get.

He stumbled slightly when he tripped over something, or rather, someone. 



Wade quickly bent down and started checking for a pulse, the action pointless as Peter opened his eyes in confusion, looking to have just woken up.



"Everybody shut up! Peter, are you okay? Are you hurt?" Wade asked quickly, looking over the younger hero who was still clad in his suit for any open wounds or bullet holes.

"Wha- Wade I'm fine, the floor was just comfier." Peter muttered, slowly sitting up and giving Wade a look of total confusion before realisation seemed to dawn on him.

"Where were you?! Stark said they couldn't find you and I thought you might've had a building fall with you in it or something- I tried to go out and help look with Mr. Stark but then my body wasn't healing properly and I kind of just fell down the stairs and decided it was better to stay in your apartment- but then you still weren't back and I didn't know what to do- and I knew you'd come back but I-"

Wade pulled Peter into an abrupt hug, unable to hear him grow increasingly more agitated at his own words.

It was as if Peter wanted to take everyone else's faults as his own and carry all that weight by himself. Wade did something wrong? Peter's fault. Someone died? Peter's fault. Some psychopath wrecks the city? Somehow it's Peter's fault because he fell off a building.

Why did Peter do this all the time? Why couldn't he see that not everything rested on his shoulders? Wade wanted to at least carry some of the blame if this was the path Peter always chose to walk.

"So you are hurt then if you fell down the stairs." Wade said quietly, holding Peter a little closer to him as he tried to think of things that could be wrong with Peter's healing ability under the given circumstances. Afterall, he didn't look physically hurt, unless the fact he looked totally exhausted counted.

But exhausted? Peter had been sleeping just now right? And he'd fallen down the stairs? From exhaustion? Muscle strain? From what? Peter was a clumsy person, but with his reflexes, he hardly ever tripped over his feet, and if he did then he caught himself in the second.


"When was the last time you ate something?" Wade asked, pulling away and pulling his mask off so that he could properly look at Peter, noting the redness around his eyes and the beginnings of dark circles underneath them.

"I don't know, a while ago. It's been a rough day." Peter sighed, Wade raising his non-existent eyebrows at that. If the way Peter was avoiding eye-contact was anything to go by then it must have been a while. Although to be fair, Wade himself hadn't exactly had the time to grab a happy meal while he was dying and suffocating under impressive amounts of concrete.

"I think I've got some dinosaur chicken nuggets in the freezer." Wade offered softly, Peter looking up at that, expression hesitant at first before he seemed to readjust to the atmosphere of Wade's apartment, nodding only a moment afterwards.

Had something happened when they'd been separated? What had Peter been doing in the time they'd been apart? He imagined the younger had been helping on the ground, with the civilians in danger of being crushed. Or maybe he'd been helping dig civilians out of the rubble? With the way Peter seemed so tense and on edge, there had to be something that had happened that made him this way. Some sort of new trauma that could get him into that numbed state he occasionally slipped into. 

It wasn't usually as noticeable as this, although he'd only ever really been on patrols with Peter,  but Wade had seen it happen before whenever the younger hero got to certain emotionally and mentally stressing situations. It was like he felt the need to completely distance himself from himself. Like a self-inflicted state of shock. 

Wade knew Peter most likely did this naturally as a side effect of past traumatising events and PTSD, as it wasn't hard to tell that he'd been through way too much for someone who was only 18. And Wade had been there before at 18. 

Even before being a human experiment and tortured to the point of nearly dying every few minutes, he'd had PTSD from living with his father and being in the military. He knew firsthand how difficult it was. Particularly at that age when everything is still new and terrifying and all you want to do is figure out how you're going to make it in the world. 

PTSD wasn't something that went away either. It stayed with you, especially in this line of work when you constantly threw yourself at those things that had given you PTSD in the first place. 

Sometimes it felt like every day was another thing to add to the pile of reasons it would never get better, but Wade knew the importance of having people there in those times. And if Wade couldn't empathise with the younger man and help than who could? Peter needed him. 

"I left the extra Szechuan sauce from last time in the cupboard." Peter added, shakily moving from the floor to the couch and effectively making Wade feel horrible for no logical reason other than the fact Peter was hurting.

(We aren't even at fault for this and we feel guilty. What is this bull$#!&.)

[It's his own fault he forgot about eating.]

(Exactly. So why the hell are we feeling like this?)

"Probably because we care, genius." Wade muttered in annoyance, searching through the freezer and praying Phillip hadn't eaten all the food in the fridge this time around. Phillip always seemed to eat like a bear whenever Wade brought back groceries. 

(Yeah, but we don't care. Not really.)

[We care about Peter.]

(But in general, we don't care about stuff like that. I mean yeah if it's our fault, but this isn't our fault.)

[Well, it's Peter. And we still care! Just not about stupid people.]

(In this situation wouldn't Peter be the stupid person though? Since he was the one who forgot to eat?)

[I guess that's a fair point. But mine still stands. He. Is. Peter. Parker.]


It's not about Peter forgetting to eat, it's about Peter having to go through what he did while we were off suffocating to death. Wade thought in mild irritation, not wanting to get into another argument about Peter with the boxes. They weren't always the best at understanding how humans functioned. And they truly had no concept of emotions and caring.

Wade put the chicken nuggets on a pan before sticking them in the oven for the allotted time at the allotted temperature, making his way back to where Peter was draped over the couch, one leg over the back side of the couch with an arm hanging over the armrest.

The room was oddly silent for it being around 7 in the afternoon, although Wade was fairly certain that it was anything but quiet to Peter. Sometimes Peter would mention how he occasionally would have issues with the sensory overloads he got from his abilities, and if there was any time to be paranoid and hyperaware of everything, today would be the day.

"You doing okay?" Wade murmured, keeping his voice low so he didn't add any unnecessary stress to a potentially mentally stressful situation. Wade knew what it was like to have bad brain days.

[I take offence to that.]

(We're not that bad.)

[You once 'sang' the narwhal song for 24 hours straight and wouldn't stop.]

(It was a good song...)

[Yeah, until you ruined it for all of us. I don't even know why I thought it was a good song in the first place. I want to kill myself just thinking about it.]

"I wasn't ready for Aiden to die. I wasn't expecting it." Peter said flatly, drawing his knees up to his chest as he sat up, making room for Wade on the couch.

"I don't think any of us were really expecting it." Wade admitted, thinking of how devastated Peter must be. Because while Aiden had been someone Wade had found likeable, he had never really gotten attached like Peter had. When you were a mercenary it was sometimes difficult to place affection on people like that, but he had to admit he had been rather fond of Aiden and losing him had been a cold reality to realise. 

But for Peter? He'd tried so hard to make sure Aiden was okay, and Aiden had truly seen that and thanked Peter for it, and then to have that person brutally murdered and not even be able to have the time to process it before you had to rush out the door to save more people? That was difficult.

"It wasn't supposed to happen, Evyn wasn't supposed to still try and kill him." Peter choked out, ducking his head down and resting his forehead against his knees, making himself smaller than Wade thought was humanly possible.

"I know. It was unfair." Wade sighed, tentatively pulling Peter closer to his side, fingers gently going through the younger man's hair in the best soothing manner he could manage. 

(We should have tracked down Evyn. We should have killed that bastard before he could hurt any more people.)

[It was legitimately impossible. He had probably been hanging out in the sea the whole time, collecting all that water mojo to try and take down the city.]

(We still could have tracked him down and killed him.)

[Kill him with what?! And we're good but we aren't that good.]

"I just wanted to save one person for once, one person who I knew deserved every ounce of the second chance I gave them and have them able to use it to help others. I felt like we could've been friends." Peter said, curling up closer to him.

Wade didn't know what to say to that, because he really had no answers.

Life was difficult, and he'd learned that way before today. Hell, he'd learned life wasn't all fun and games before he'd even hit double digits. Everybody died, that's just life, unless you were Wade Wilson, but even then.

He had accepted the fact that everyone he knew would be dead one day, and he'd have to cope with that. It was one of the reasons Wade didn't bother keeping many friends. Sadly Aiden was just one of the people that happened to fall off the bus along the way, and Wade would miss him, but he hadn't been close to Aiden.

But if he mattered to Peter than Wade supposed that he could do his best to be considerate for Peter.

[To be fair, I thought Aiden was pretty alright.]

(Yeah, he was nice. Maybe a little too nice, but nice.)

[It sucks when nice people die.]

(Well, nice guys finish last.)

[Guess that means we better watch Peter's back.]

(One day Peter will die though. We can't always protect him.)

"For the love of corn flakes don't make me think about that." Wade stated in distress, momentarily forgetting Peter was still right next to him.

"What are they saying?" Peter asked, voice still sounding raw and depressed, but also grateful for the subject change.

"Hm? Nothing." Wade feigned ignorance, getting up, not too quickly, to get the chicken nuggets out of the oven and not mention the fact White and Yellow were idly wondering what would happen if Peter were to die.

Eventually, Wade got the boxes to settle down as he handed a plate of chicken nuggets and Szechuan sauce to Peter, turning on the tv to old Spongebob episodes for the sake of some sort of sound in the background.

The silence wasn't exactly awkward, but it was easy to see that neither of them exactly knew what to do next. Peter had emotional issues, Wade didn't really know how to talk about emotional issues, so instead, he just let Peter curl up next to him as they watched Spongebob and ate chicken nuggets.

Wade wanted to talk to Peter, he wanted to just ask him the most random questions and try and figure out how the kid worked. 

Because Wade genuinely wanted to know, and he knew that Peter was dying to know more about him too. However, this thing they had needed time to grow on its own, and seeing as neither of them were patient people, it wouldn't be easy.

Of course, that wasn't going to stop him from asking random questions and screwing Peter on every surface in this apartment, but it was an odd feeling to know that what he said to Peter actually mattered. This wasn't just somebody he could talk to today and they'd be gone tomorrow. This was someone who planned to stay.

And yeah there had been Phillip and Weasel, and of course MJ on occasion, but none of them were really one for heartfelt words. Everything was blunt and straightforward and if you looked terrible they'd tell you. Even Phillip had that ruthless straight to the point side.

Blunt and straight to the point was fine by Wade, but thinking about Peter curled up next to him he felt as though the younger hero was of a much more innocent state of mind, the kind that needed more gentle words.

(No way!)

[Some of the things he's said to us have been straight up cold.]

(Not to mention how much he curses.)

[He doesn't curse that often.]

(Only because he doesn't do it around us. He curses like a sailor around the apartment when he thinks we aren't listening.)

[He still doesn't understand this is a PG-ish book.]

(I don't think he understands this a book. Period.)

[Best not to give him an existential crisis.]

The point is, Peter isn't like MJ or Weasel and finding a way to not accidentally wreck Peter without meaning to would be tricky.

Murder and violent jokes were great, orphan jokes, plane crash jokes, dead parents jokes, Batman jokes, those were now off limit-

(You are making this way more difficult than it needs to be.)

[Yeah, in his words: he won't give a shit.]

(He's innocent looking Peter Parker, but don't let his looks deceive you into thinking he's not spider-man. The amount of bad media he has to put up with, as well as the in-general threats he gets from criminals, is probably enough to toughen anybody up.)

The point is-

(I think he's ignoring us.)


(He just wants to be angsty.)

-Peter is important, and messing this thing up between them was the last thing Wade wanted to do. So getting to know what made Peter tick was the top priority. Although to be fair, he'd already learned so much about Peter, yet still not enough. 

Would it ever be enough?

Wade glanced down when Peter's empty plate started slipping closer and closer to the edge of the couch, his mouth slightly open and his eyes pressed shut.

(He really must've exhausted himself.)

[He's been over-working himself lately.]

(I think he feels bad about not being able to be Spider-Man as much with school. And we have been causing him some stress by following him around.)

[Well what else are we supposed to do? It isn't like we can just go off and kill someone. We aren't taking contracts anymore.]

(We need hobbies.)

Wade silently agreed, not wanting to wake Peter up when he obviously needed the sleep.

He glanced up when he heard the quiet creak of the front door opening and closing, the artful way it was done with such little sound letting Wade know it was Phillip.

"Hey." Phillip said quietly, glancing at Peter who was completely out of it at this point.

"How's Bob?" Wade asked, knowing that Bob had definitely grown way too attached to the kid when he had Aiden living with him. It had only been a few weeks, but Aiden had still pretty much become Bob's son, and having to tell Bob that the kid was dead... As much as Wade liked to torture Bob, he would never wish something like this on him.

"He's still pretty broken up about it, but I think he'll be okay." Phillip decided with an uncertain look on his face like he wasn't really sure how okay Bob was going to be.

"Thanks Phillip for being there for him while I was out." Wade said genuinely, Phillip nodding like a bobblehead in a way that was easy to see he was completely exhausted. 

"Go get some sleep man." 

"You too, sure your day wasn't easy either."

[To be fair we were stuck under a giant skyscraper for most of it so it was more just like a giant nap.]

(A giant nap called death.)

[We still didn't get much helping done.]

(We evacuated like two buildings before one fell on us, and we saved that little girl.)

[We pulled the fire alarm, and at that point, most people had seen the giant water blob walking towards their building.]

Peter shifted a little next to Wade, his knees drawn up and his face now pressed against Wade's shoulder in a rather unattractive manner that Wade really probably shouldn't find as adorable as he did.

Mother of Goku, he was turning into one of those cheesy boyfriends that always followed their significant others around with heart eyes.

Although he felt he had the right to after everything they'd been through today.

He hadn't even gotten around to interrogating Peter about his day, albeit he wasn't exactly looking forward to it since he was already fairly sure that conversation would end in tears.

Peter didn't do well with dead bodies, and if he'd been working on digging people out of the rubble for most the day like Wade expected, then he was bound to have seen some. Especially with the apartment buildings in that area. The carnage must've been pretty bad.

(Don't tell me we're going to be Spider-Man's therapist.)

"Not therapist, just friend. Above all else, we're friends first and we'll help him as a friend." Wade murmured, gently brushing Peter's hair back away from his face. It had grown out quite a bit since Wade had first seen him.


[There are more pressing matters to discuss related to the current topic though.]

Wade waited for what came after that, feeling yellow's curiosity in his mind as well as his own.

[Evyn Egerton didn't just become some water monster overnight, and he didn't just magically go to some mountain to train for three weeks and come back a changed water-man. The only way I'm seeing he could get that strong is if he infused more drugs into his body.]

"More drugs? I doubt he could just inject more, not with his body in the state of constant liquid." Wade said uncertainty, working out all the ways Evyn could ingest the drug.

(We haven't even properly identified the drug he took. Or how he became the way he is in the first place. Our biggest clue was Yvette and we killed her.)

[Yeah but it doesn't change the fact there must be someone else involved this time.]


[Evyn may be smart, but he doesn't exactly have the medical brains it would take to mix up something completely different from the originally stolen drugs. Not to mention he was out of the game for who knows how long, 'recuperating.']

(So Yvette wasn't the only one apart of this?)

[Maybe, she could've been apart of a team like Weapon X's, looking for new recruits. Although she was most likely just an unemployed nurse who got recruited by the wrong people. My guess is someone else saw what we saw was going on with the drowning cases and realised it was a mutant.]

(The bad guys love mutants.)

[Exactly, and I wouldn't be surprised if somebody found Evyn while we were off frolicking with Peter. That's why we couldn't find him later.]

(Makes sense I guess.)

"So there's another big fish." Wade muttered with a roll of his eyes, sick of these multiplying problems. Could he not just have one single day off?

"Well, guess we should start asking around." Wade muttered, pulling out his phone to dial Weasel's number.

If someone had else had been the creator of this catastrophe besides Yvette then Wade planned to find out who.



Chapter Text



Peter glanced at the clock again for probably the twelfth time that hour, ready for his classes to just be over already.

He and Wade hadn't been hanging out as much lately, with Wade working on tracking down all people involved with the Evyn thing and sticking trackers (That Weasel and Ned provided) on them all 'for later.' Peter hadn't exactly been free either with all the homework projects and patrols he'd been doing lately, considering crime rates always spiked after something city-impacting happened.

The only times they'd been able to hang out was during patrols that Wade tagged along on, and those weren't really great couple-bonding times. Beating up people could only be so romantic before it wasn't.

So Wade had promised he'd pick Peter up and they'd get ice cream and chill (get it?) before Peter had to go home and work on the pile of homework he'd gotten today, and he wasn't even done with all his classes yet.

It wasn't even one of those days where he knew exactly what to do in each class and enjoyed them. It was a day full of annoying history and p.e (or acting class, as Ned called it.)

Pretty much there was nothing to do or think about, and it was definitely taking a toll on Peter's mental state.

Classes dragged by, the sun set a little lower in the sky until finally, he was free. He had to hold himself back from simply webbing off the campus, instead, doing his best to pace himself and make sure all his books and things were in their proper places before heading for the gate.

It wasn't like he hadn't seen Wade in weeks, but it felt longer than just last night too.

I'm turning into one of those clingy boyfriends...

Peter let out a defeated sigh before he glanced around, easily jumping the gate as he headed for the ice cream shop they'd both agreed on.

Two attempted muggings and one saved grandma later and he managed to get there only a couple of minutes later than he'd meant to, although, it didn't really matter since Wade was running late too it would seem.

But that was fine, Peter could wait. He could be patient and wait a little longer. After all, he had to remind himself that Wade was on a 24/7 work schedule too. Superheroes didn't really get time off, and Wade had probably just run into some trouble or something and that's why he was late.

Peter sat in one of the chairs apart of the shop's outdoor seating, his leg fidgetting up and down and most likely annoying the people a table away from him, his fingers tapping against the table in front of him. Maybe there was more trouble than he'd thought and he should go and find Wade?

Last they'd spoke Wade had been on about some sort of gang hideout, but he'd promised Peter he wouldn't poke any bee hives before Peter could go with him. Figuring out what had happened with Evyn had been as much Peter's problem as it had been Wade's, and he planned to see it through to the end. Although in the end, it was Wade that had the most free time, and both him and Stark were rather adamant about him focusing on his education first and Evyn second.

Peter waited some more.

He texted Wade, but none of his messages delivered.

He tried calling. Nothing.

And then some more waiting.

After an hour Peter had to admit that Wade was either bleeding out in a ditch somewhere or he'd totally forgotten and was busy. Either way, he wasn't going to be seeing the other man sitting in the chair across from him, so he might as well go camp out at Wade's apartment instead. 

There was no point trying to track Wade down, seeing as the only way Peter knew how to do that was to track his phone, and if no messages were going through Peter was guessing Wade had either broken it or taken the battery out on purpose. 

"So much for that then." Peter muttered, wondering what would be the best way to get to Wade's. He still had his backpack, he had his suit and he had his homework, so he could swing to Wade's place without too much trouble, but did he really want to risk swinging to Wade's place with all the trouble Wade had been getting himself into with NYC's organised crime lately?

For all he knew, the whole building could be under surveillance, hell, Peter himself could be a subject of surveillance.

Cabs and subways then.

Now, Peter wasn't someone who complained much, it was just the way he was raised, and his 'Parker luck' was something he'd gotten used to after a while, but sometimes he had days where it felt like the world hated him. That is, more than usual.

Three missed cabs, a pile of dog shit, an awkward run-in with a teacher and a subway ride surrounded by coughing sick people later he was very much ready to just crawl into bed and be done.

Peter yelped as he somehow managed to trip (how?) up the stairs to Wade's apartment (because naturally the elevator was broken) and groaned when he noticed he'd sprained his ankle. It wasn't that much of a problem with his healing factor, but he still had three flights of stairs to get through.

It really was the worst day ever.

Well, three flights of stairs later, he reached the right apartment door, going to open the door to find it locked. 

Of course.

Why wouldn't Wade lock of his door? Well, hopefully, Phillip was home.

Peter knocked on the door rather loudly, hoping to get Phillip's attention from the inside.

Phillip wasn't home. 

At this point, Peter had reached the point beyond done. It was just one thing after another today and the door being locked was the one misfortune too many that pushed Peter over the edge.

Screw the door.

Peter shoved the door open, using his strength to break the lock, slamming it behind him with maybe a little too much force, thankfully not breaking it from its hinges, the door creaking in protest as it didn't properly close due to Peter's excessive force.

Wade was rich. He could fix his own damn door.

Peter let out a loud groan, collapsing face first onto the couch. It was a testament to how horrible the day had been so far to say he didn't even care about all the horrible things Wade had probably done on this couch. 

Sent 17:19: I know your phone is off rn, but please call me if you see any of these. I'm at your apartment btw, didn't want to wait at the ice cream place anymore.

Peter watched the text load but not deliver, making him want to put a tracker on Wade whenever he saw him again. 


Sent 17:21: Hey, I know you're probably doing hw rn, buuuuut...

Received 17:22: is this about your homicidal bf? cuz youve been buzzing all morning about your weird date and you obviously arent texting me from there.

Sent 17:23: Ned can you check the GPS on his phone please?

Received 17:23: K, one sec.

Sent 17:24: thanks.

Received 17:26: His phone is off, i dont know what to tell you dude. he stood you up?

Sent 17:26: He didn't stand me up, he just wasnt there. He probably went after that gang i told him not to go after, or the gang went after him. either way he's probably bleeding out somewhere. I'm just hoping he'll wake up and come home. If not then I'm getting Stark to track him down.

Received 17:27: im so glad im single.

Sent 17:27: haha very funny. Is there any other way you could find him?

Received 17:28: Well, i could try and comb through social media and hospital admittances, but we do live in new york, thats not a walk in the park to do all that, it would take a while. 

Sent 17:28: Do you think I should ask Weasel? Do you know anyone with the technology to access cameras/records/social media/ everything?

Received 17:28: It wouldn't hurt to call Weasel, but why are you so worried? He is Deadpool, he can handle himself fine.

Sent 17:29: yeah, i know. I'm just worried I guess. I don't really want him bleeding out in some abandoned building.

Received 17:29: That might just be something you'll have to get used to Peter. The guy is kind of known for constantly damaging himself.

Sent 17:30: I still don't like it.

Received 17:30: pretty sure it's something you'll never like. unless you're a sadist. It's just something that happens, it's apart of Wade being Wade.

Sent 17:30: Yeah.

Received 17:31: Have you gotten into contact with him at all?

Sent 17:31: No, I tried texting and calling him and that's it.

Received 17:31: Ill see what i can do then. Hang in there dude.

Sent 17:32: Send me some of your hw and ill start on it.

Received 17:32: lol, you dont have to do that. The most I can do is make some calls to the guys I know and get my police scanners looking for keywords. It wont take me long to set up, just a little longer to get results.

Sent 17:33: So you're going to pass up this golden ticket of me doing your hw for you?

Received 17:33: you know what youre right, im going insane. ill send you the problems for my calculous stuff later, do your hw first though otherwise I feel like im taking up your time.

Sent 17:34: lol I'm taking your time tho.

Received 17:34 hnggg, no. you first, i insist. 

Sent 17:34: lol fine, I'll text you when I'm done with mine.

Received 17:35: I'll text you if I find anything on Wade.

Sent 17:35: Thx Ned.

Received 17:36: np.

Peter glanced at the backpack that contained his homework, hoping he'd be able to properly concentrate with the knowledge that Wade was most likely in trouble still weighing on his heart.

He webbed the bag from across the room, dragging it over to the couch to dig through it, finding the sheets that were due for one of his classes and his laptop for the more technical teachers that liked their online homework.

Now all he had to do was do it. 

Peter stared at the first math problem his calculus teacher had given him and felt his desire to do homework deplete impossibly lower than before.

All he wanted to do was curl up on the couch with Wade and watch stupid movies on Netflix, but until then, "Find the eigenvalues." Peter breathed, thinking of how much more fun calculus had been when Wade was there to rant about how it was impossible when Peter got the problems right.


One lonely homemade dinner, three episodes of Supernatural, an essay that wasn't due till next week and a brief hello to Phillip later Wade still wasn't there and Ned still hadn't found anything on Wade's whereabouts.

Sent 22:11: Wade please respond.


This whole situation was becoming less 'Oh I hope Wade comes back soon.' and more and more 'What if someone captured him? What if someone was torturing him?'

Peter ran a hand through his already dishevelled hair, mulling over the limited set of options he had. 

He couldn't just let this be anymore, seeing as he'd already checked with Weasel and Phillip and neither of them knew where Wade had gone. The fact he himself didn't know where Wade had gone was a big alarm bell on its own, and now that he'd been gone this long it was obvious something wasn't right. 

So that meant he was going to either have to involve someone else who had the skillset to track someone like Wade, or the technology to do so. Which would entail calling Stark. 

He could try getting into contact with Natasha Romanoff, seeing as she was definitely one of the few people who would be able to find Wade, but both of those options had to be more last resort. He didn't want to cause anybody any trouble after all, but he also wanted to make sure Wade was okay, and ideally, he needed someone else's help because he couldn't do this himself. 

If it was the gang that had 'created' Evyn, or whatever terminology Wade had used, then could they possibly take away powers as well as give them?

Could they kill Wade?

Peter was about to dial Tony's number, too worked up now to really care if it was ten something at night and Stark was most likely sleeping, but then, Peter could've sworn he heard something.

Whatever it was, it was quiet. 

Could there possibly be mice in Wade's apartment? Could you even get mice in an apartment building this nice and high up? Peter supposed Wade left enough food scattered about the apartment in a disorderly mess that mice could be a possibility, but he'd never seen or heard mice in here before.

Peter cautiously got off the couch, keeping his back pressed to the walls as he listened intently, unsure if there was someone here for Wade.

I broke the door, anyone could've walked in while I wasn't looking.

Peter felt his heart rate spike in his chest, all the possibilities piling up now as he tried to calm down and regain his senses. It was harder to hear when his own heartbeat was rushing in his ears. 

Peter froze against the wall he was pressed to as someone who looked an awful lot like a ninja walked in from the kitchen, two katanas strapped to their back like Wade's, but a body too lithe to be Wade.

Even with Peter's much stronger sense of hearing, he couldn't hear their footsteps. The ninja carefully walked through the living room, glancing at Peter's backpack and discarded dinner plate on the coffee table, Netflix still idle on the T.V.

Peter didn't dare move in case he was seen, not sure if he'd be able to leave the room without catching the ninja's attentio-

He moved on instinct as a dart flew towards him from the other side of the room, ducking away from it to turn and face the second ninja, his fists raised as he acknowledged the other ninja in his side vision, wondering how on earth he'd get himself out of this one. Especially if those darts were drugged. Even with his regenerative abilities, he'd fall unconscious for at least a little while, maybe not as long as an ordinary person, but he'd still be unconscious long enough for it to count against him.

The ninja in front of him charged forward with speed that countered his own impossibly well, Peter barely managing to keep up with the punches being thrown at him. His mind was giving off warning bells that he was stepping back dangerously close to the other ninja in the room.

He didn't know if these people were aware of his super-human abilities and here to capture Spider-man, or if they were just here to obtain Peter Parker, Wade's boyfriend. He could defend himself well enough without tapping into his super-strength, but with how quickly these two were catching onto his fighting style and how they worked together almost in perfect synchronisation, he wasn't going to be able to last long.

Peter could hardly get any hits in with how quickly the two moved. He was almost completely on defence now, his spidey-sense so overwhelmed that it was becoming less useful and more distracting. 

He grunted as he took a hit to the back of his leg, returning a swift and powerful punch to the stomach of the ninja in front of him, setting at least one of them off from attacking for a little while.

Peter turned to face the uninjured ninja just as they unsheathed their katanas, Peter gulping nervously as he raised his fists, ready to face anything this horrible Monday had to throw at him.

"I don't suppose I could ask why you seem so intent on killing me?" Peter tried, the only response from the man being a swift lunge in his direction, Peter barely able to avoid losing an arm. 

Peter quickly went low, sweeping his leg to throw the ninja off-balance, watching as the ninja simply backflipped back onto two feet, katanas still in hand.

"Well, this is just unfair. I call foul." Peter stated, holding eye contact with the dark figure in front of him, both of them waiting to anticipate the next move while simultaneously trying to come up with their own next course of action.

Peter dived towards the couch, throwing the ninja off-guard for a moment as he quickly grabbed one of Wade's hidden guns from beneath the coffee table, taking aim and firing the loaded weapon at the ninja's legs, unsure if he should be thankful there was a silencer on the gun or not. 

He didn't want to wake up the neighbours or anything and be a bother, but he could also really use the police's help at the moment. 

Peter jumped and rolled to the left as the ninja threw one of his katanas at Peter, the blade sticking in the hardwood floors where Peter had just been.

In return Peter shot at the ninja again, cursing the fact he had never trained much with guns when Tony was training him. He'd been adamant about not wanting to use guns on anyone back then, but he begrudgingly had to admit that he could've really used that training right about now.

The hair on the back of his neck went straight up as he narrowly avoided another blowdart, the other ninja he'd managed to land a hit on finally back and ready as ever. Two against one again. 

Peter quickly dove away from the area he was in, barely avoiding a couple of kunai that were aimed at his legs. Whoever these guys were, they must have strict orders not to kill him, however, maiming and mildly injuring seemed to be perfectly fine. 

Peter blindly fired towards the ninja again, running towards the hallway that connected to the kitchen at the end, carefully aiming the gun's sights with where he assumed the two ninjas would come from. 

He needed to get to his phone on the couch and call Stark. Maybe he'd know something about ninjas in New York and if that somehow related to the work Wade was doing with trying to track down the gang behind Evyn's mutation. 

Peter shot quickly as one ninja rounded the corner, Peter's eyes widening when he saw he managed to hit one in the chest, the ninja clutching at his heart as he tried to move back around the corner.

Oh god did I just kill someone?

Peter didn't have much time to react as the second ninja came around the corner, Peter pulling the trigger again only to find that he was out of bullets, the ninja unsheathing his katanas as he walked towards him, the one he'd shot lying on the ground now, blood starting to pool around the body. 

Peter went to run towards the kitchen, but instead hit something solid.

He looked up, expecting to see Wade come to save him, only to find a third and much taller and muscular ninja looking down at him, his body jolting away on instinct, trapped between the two ninjas in the hallway with an empty gun in his hand. 

Logically, he did the only smart thing and chucked the gun at the ninja in front of him, hitting his target with accuracy he really could have used earlier.

Just as he was about to round the corner, he felt a dart embed itself in his neck, his fingers immediately going to remove it, desperately trying to get it off of him before, before- 

He tripped over his own legs, painfully hitting the crappy wooden table Wade had gotten from IKEA on his way down. It was all he could do to try and hang onto consciousness as he attempted to pull himself underneath t table and away from the ninjas walking towards him.

He could still see the bloody body behind them, his heart beating out of his chest with blinding fear and adrenaline, his eyes starting to shut automatically with whatever drug they'd shot into his system.

He could feel hands dragging him out from under the table, Peter doing his best to kick at them and crawl away, but every muscle in his body felt like it had fallen asleep and become useless. 

And then those black dots swamped his vision and sent him under. 

Chapter Text



Peter could hear voices in the distance, sounding so far away in his groggy state of mind. 

He could vaguely recognise the dull ache in the back of his head and the constant pain his sprained ankle was in. Although he wasn't quite sure why until he tried to move it, realising it was tied securely to a chair and the small amount of space given was putting pressure on his ankle.

He went to open his eyes but was met with dark cloth brushing roughly against his eyelids. 

Blindfolded and tied.

This was a very bad situation to be in, especially with his mind just coming out of the drugged state they'd put him in. His brain wasn't forming the situation properly in his mind, panic slowly rising in his chest.

He could easily break whatever was binding him to the chair he was currently sat in, but the real question was just who all would he have to fight to get out of this situation, no less as Peter Parker. Getting out of a situation like this without killing anyone would be challenging, especially without using his web shooters if he did decide to go down the route of 'I'm just an innocent human.' He could do a lot with the skill set he had as Peter, but avoiding being killed while trying not to kill them as Peter?

Peter's stomach dropped when he remembered the body that was probably still bleeding out in Wade's hallway, shot by Peter himself. He hadn't been able to focus on it much in the heat of the moment, but now that he wasn't running for his life the dread and guilt were starting to eat at him from the inside. 

He was going to be sick. 

Someone said something, although it wasn't in a language that Peter recognised. The accent swooped up and down with an odd sort of bounce, different than the typical Asian or European sounding languages and accents, but his mind was still unable to fully process everything that was happening. Differentiating between the languages he'd heard before in his life seemed on the verge of impossible as he struggled with just regaining his balance and sense of direction.

It was sort of unnerving how he couldn't see any of his captors, however, the inability to see was also somewhat calming, even with that unnerving feeling. It was at least better than being completely overloaded sense-wise. He didn't think he'd be able to handle all of his senses being overloaded all at once. Peter would have to thank whoever had blindfolded him later; after they were behind bars. 

For now, he had a couple options, and none of them were very alluring.

He couldn't just reveal himself to what sounded like a good deal of people in the room, otherwise, his identity could be used as blackmail, and the last thing he wanted was for his Spider-secret to get into the wrong hands. 

Yet, that meant that he would have to endure whatever these people wanted. Which was most likely information, seeing as they'd gone through quite a bit of effort to get him here alive. Although information about what, he wasn't sure.

But maybe he could make this work. He'd heard stories of what Natasha endured to get information out of people who wanted information from her, so maybe he could do somewhat of the same. If he played his cards right then maybe he could get information about what they wanted and who they were instead of them getting whatever information they wanted from him. 

Of course, he didn't exactly know what these people planned to do with him yet, but they didn't want him dead, so as long as he kept whatever worth they seemed to think he had, then theoretically his Black Widow plan might work. And if it didn't and got to be too much, then he could escape well enough with his abilities. But that would have to be last resort. 

It wasn't like he had much of a choice anyway. He was pretty much stuck here if he wanted to protect his identity, so might as well try to get some sort of information out of this whole ordeal. 

Peter squirmed some, trying to alert them that he was awake without saying anything that might set them off. He tended to get moderately sassy when he was in scary places with a bunch of mafia members guarding his tied up self. 

There were more words said in that foreign language, words that were getting closer to him now. He was starting to recognise the accent, placing it as one of the languages generally found in Africa, possibly Swahili. 

He took the time to listen to things besides words, using his hearing to try and pinpoint where exactly he was and how many men were in the room with him. 

Going by the occasional footstep and echo of the voices, he'd say he was in a rather large room, something like his school's gymnasium, although with the subtle chill and rare breeze, he'd say the room was more like a warehouse. 


As for how many people were here, it was harder to tell, seeing as some of them seemed to simply be standing still and not breathing excessively enough for him to pick up on it, although going by the footsteps and the sounds of guns being loaded, Peter would say nobody was holding anything stronger than a simple handgun. There was no AK's or serious firearms in the building. Which must mean that there were either people with the big guns outside the building or they simply weren't expecting any big threats. 

"What is your name." Someone said forcefully, Peter once again reminded that he was in a dangerous situation as his spidey-sense forced the hair on the back of his neck to stick straight up. These were dangerous people.

"Peter, Peter Parker." He stated as clearly as he could, not wanting his voice to shake when someone grabbed his chin and turned his head to the left and right like they were examining him. 

"What is your relationship to Wade Wilson." The voice demanded, letting go of his chin to let Peter talk, the blindfold becoming less comforting now and more terrifying. It didn't help that the thing smelled strongly of cigarette smoke and gin, although that could always be the person in front of him as well, he wasn't quite sure.

At least he knew that this was somehow related to Wade. So was this a piece of the gang that Wade was hunting? With how low they seemed to be on firepower Peter was guessing they weren't exactly the top-list A-grade big bads, more like some low tier Team Rocket style goons, but then again, the stupid ones were usually the most dangerous.

"We're together." Peter said, unsure of how to word that. Should he really be sharing his love life with weird strangers who had drugged and kidnapped him?

There was more muttering that Peter couldn't understand before the voice in front of him gave what sounded like a command, footsteps moving immediately with the words. Well, that couldn't be good.

What was going on?

"What do you want with Wade?" Peter asked, not sure what all the footsteps meant, just knowing that whatever it was, probably wasn't going to end very well for him.

His question was met with a harsh slap that wasn't totally unexpected. He'd seen enough spy movies to know he 'doesn't get to ask the questions' but it still hurt like hell, and the guy could have at least given Peter the satisfaction of saying the cliche spy movie bad guy saying.

"Are you apart of Wade's search for Evyn Egerton's creators?" Peter asked, undeterred by the weak slap. This guy had nothing on Wanda's slaps. And he'd been on the receiving end of those at least twice. 

"What do you know about that." The voice growled, sounding closer now, a much more dangerous edge to it now.

"Only bits and pieces, Wade doesn't tell me much, but I know that they create mutants." Peter said, unsure what he'd get in return for that. The person in front of him didn't seem like someone who'd just reveal his whole evil plan out in front of you in a monologue. 

There was some muttering and Peter was able to catch the words 'Hurricane' in English, but besides that, it was all lost on him. 

"Did you take Wade?" Peter added quickly, real panic in his voice now as he wondered if they'd been able to capture Wade. Peter knew he still had a lot to learn, but he liked to think him and Wade were at least somewhat on par when it came to fighting. And if Peter was captured, did that mean they could get Wade too? Especially when Wade didn't have the same sense for flying projectiles that Peter did.

Peter started slightly when his chair was suddenly leaned back and a cloth was wrapped tightly around his mouth and nose, his brain recognising what was happening a second too late as freezing cold water was suddenly crashing down against him, his body spasming as he felt suddenly smothered, suffocating, drowning.

His whole body screamed in protest as water pressed in all around him, his only thought being to escape this while knowing that he had to stay put to protect himself and Aunt May, to protect Ned and MJ. He couldn't reveal himself as Spider-Man to them, even if they tortured him.

But even with that thought in mind, he felt his whole resolve start to crumble. The water was closing in all around him and bringing with it such an intense feeling of panic and suffocation that he went to break the ropes on instinct, with his lungs feeling like they couldn't take it anymore.

They didn't break.

The ropes didn't break.

He couldn't breathe

No, I can't do this. This is too much, I can't do it.

Peter went to sit up and break the ropes holding him again, wondering if he just hadn't put enough strength into it, only to find that he couldn't.

He started struggling more now, feeling blinded with terror as he began to wonder if they had somehow found a way to take his powers from him, a strong hand pushing him down again. A hand that was strong enough to push him back down. Whoever this was either had super strength as well, or they really had taken his powers.

There was a moment where he was allowed to breathe, the rag removed from his face and his mind allowed to clear somewhat, his heart still racing. 

What did they want? Nobody was saying anything, nobody was asking for anythin- Suddenly the rag was put over his face again, his airways cut off as he tried to move his head away, a hand gripping his neck to hold him in place.

Peter thrashed, crying out and trying to move his head away from the water slowly being poured down on him, pressing in on him, drowning him.

What did they want? 

He tried to break the ropes again, knowing that he could, he had to be able to, he was Spider-man, no weak rope could hold him like thi- more water flooded in on him, his fists clenching painfully as his nails dug into his palms, his lungs screaming for air.

"Those are vibranium laced ropes." The voice from before taunted, the flow of water pausing for a moment, allowing Peter to gasp in air as the cloth was removed from his face once more. 

"They're strong enough to hold a natural-born mutant like yourself. Your spat with Jessica Jones did not go unnoticed by us." The voice said, Peter crying out when the cloth was placed back over his face, water cascading back down in what felt like buckets of water, his lungs unable to take the desperate need to breathe as the voice rambled on in the foreign language from before, or maybe it was English and he was just too terrified to understand it, either way, Peter swore that after this he'd learn every language known to man if he could only get out of here.

Please stop, please just let me breathe, I haven't done anything.

The water just continued, the voice that was rambling before, now shouting in the foreign language from before, Peter not even sure if he was shouting at Peter himself or something or someone else, the loud sounds and the overwhelming feeling of being unable to breathe completely flooding his senses in every sense of the word, tears springing in his eyes that were unnoticeable with the constant stream of water pouring down on him in what felt like a waterfall that he was stuck under.

In the hazy background, he could hear someone sharpening a knife, most likely to use on Peter after this whole ordeal. He almost thought he could pick out the sound of an iPhone's camera, the recognisable shutter sound pushing him over the edge when he realised they must be trying to ransom him or something. Would they send that photo to Stark? Wade? 


I can't do this anymore.

Someone in the group of people was laughing at him. Someone was laughing at him being tortured in this endless hell. He'd had enough


If Peter couldn't break the rope then he'd break this damned chair instead.

He threw all his body weight to one side with as much force as he could muster, tipping the chair and snapping the legs off, breaking the rest of the back with the person closest to him on his right. He was now free of the chair, hands still tied, but if these people could afford vibranium rope, they could certainly afford to carry vibranium knives on their person. 

Peter wanted one. 

Using his advanced hearing to locate the people around him to the best of his ability, he went for the one who'd been talking the most to him. He immediately went to attach himself to the man with his legs wrapped around his neck, doing his best to manoeuvre his legs into a chokehold even with his roped hands holding him back and throwing him slightly off balance.

Peter subconsciously had to admit he sort of felt like a Black Widow/Daredevil hybrid at that moment, and it was freakin awesome. However survival instinct was the only thing currently keeping him going, so those thoughts had to wait. 


Peter made quick work of the ties holding him with the knife that was sheathed at the man's side, correctly assumed to be made of vibranium. 

Peter quickly undid the blindfold, immediately turning to choke someone charging him with the wet blindfold till they passed out, stealing the gun from the now unconscious man's belt to shoot at the three men to his left. Using the unconscious man as a shield, his aim was somewhat shaky, but he managed to drop two of the men to their now shot knees. 

Even so, there was still three to go, and they all had guns pointed at Peter, and he wasn't about to give up now that he'd already escaped their vibranium constraints and gotten this far. 

He abandoned his current meat shield, lunging forward to drag their leader up from the floor, holding his stolen vibranium knife to the man's throat.

"If anyone moves so does the knife." Peter growled, unsure of how far his moral limits would let him go. He'd already killed one man today, and he still had the thought of their stupid waterboarding fresh in his mind, his resentment still second place to his moral code. Although if there was anyone in this room that deserved whatever was coming, it was the man he was currently holding a knife to. 

It was a dangerous way of thinking, and even he could see he was starting to fall off the reserve here, but at this moment the only person who was going to save him was himself. He didn't exactly have the time to worry about the past 24 hours and the moral crisis he'd been going through. He didn't have time for a moral crisis now.

"Drop your weapons." Peter demanded, his senses still high wired and alert for possible enemy reinforcements. 

Now that the blindfold wasn't obscuring his view, he could see clearly that they were in a warehouse, and going by the occasional sounds he was able to pick up from outside, he'd say they were close to the water. Warehouse by a pier. Typical place to bring your kidnapped hostage.

Peter probably would have laughed if he wasn't currently so high strung.

He narrowed his eyes as none of the three men lowered their weapons, Peter beginning to wonder if he'd have to exert himself some more tonight. It wouldn't be too difficult to take them out, but with the guns then he'd have to be very on guard and limited in his fighting.

He quickly nabbed the gun from their leader's belt with his free hand, flipping the safety off to shoot the man he was holding in the foot, a very real warning that they most likely hadn't been expecting. Carelessly placing the knife in his pocket for later, Peter swapped to the gun in his hand, holding the gun to its owners head. He had no intention of firing it, but the men pointing guns at him didn't have to know that.

"Guns on the ground. Now."Peter stated, slower this time just in case they still seemed to be struggling to understand him clearly. 

He was getting out of this place one way or another, and if they really did have orders to not kill him then he'd just have to risk it and try and take all three out with the weapons still as a leading threat. It would be difficult, but possible. 

Thankfully they set their guns down, Peter waiting till they'd kicked them away from themselves, all of them looking uneasy about what Peter might do next. Peter himself wasn't quite sure what his plan was. So far his plans included escaping the building and stealing a phone to call Mr. Stark with and find Wade. 

They may not have guns now, but they still had vibranium knives, and those were still quite dangerous.

Now or never.

Peter quickly turned the gun on the three men in front of him, managing to catch one in the leg, the bullet going straight through as he threw the man he was currently holding captive at the fallen one, effectively knocking them both unconscious with the force. He swiftly launched himself at his nearest attacker, wrapping his legs around the man's neck and slamming his attacker's head against the concrete floor. 

He ignored the painful after-feeling of where the now unconscious man's knife had cut into his arm in favour of taking that bloodied vibranium knife from the unconscious man's limp hand, throwing it at the last attacker, the knife embedding itself in his knee.

The man fell to the ground, clutching his knee in pain as Peter shakily walked towards him, unused to all this violence. Even when he was Spider-man he'd never had to be this violent with attackers, albeit he wasn't usually so outnumbered. That still didn't stop him from delivering a swift kick to the man's head, knocking him unconscious so he could safely steal the man's phone.


Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up.

"Who is this?"

"It's Peter, I need you to come get me." He croaked, his throat still hoarse from trying to cough up water, but recognisable enough that Tony Stark should know it was him.

"Peter? Where are you? What happened?" Tony demanded, Peter hearing the hint of panic in the older man's voice as Peter glanced around the room, numerous unconscious bodies laying on the floor, like grenades waiting to go off. He needed to call the police, maybe an ambulance, for all these people. And then he had to get out of here.

"I can't talk right now. The location on the phone is on, track me that way." Peter muttered, hanging up so that he could dial 911 and get somebody over here before one of the men in that room bled out. He hadn't exactly been in a 'nobody needs to get hurt' sort of mood tonight, and the wounds of his captors were enough to prove that fact. They needed proper medical help.

He glanced down at his own arm, the long clean cut on his left arm not looking like it was going to stop bleeding anytime soon. Hopefully, Stark could fix that without any hospitals. Although, with the way this Monday had gone he wasn't really expecting anything.

One 911 call later he was waiting on the top of the warehouse, the phone left with the man he'd originally taken it from. He'd torn the hem of his shirt and managed to repurpose it as a tourniquet at the top of his arm, his feeble attempt to stop the blood flow. It wasn't really working, but it was the best he could do in the current situation.

He could hear the police sirens in the distance, and a little further out he heard the sound of the Iron Man suit. It took him a moment to recognise those sounds, his mind having decided to check-out, the shock now setting in and allowing him to reflect in a delirious state about everything he'd done in the past few hours.

I killed someone. 

And the worst part about it was his body was still so pumped full of adrenaline and shock that he could hardly bring himself to acknowledge it. He couldn't stay focused long enough to wonder if that guy had a family and if they would even know he'd died, or if he'd just be another disappearance. Would Wade have to hide the body? Had whoever sent the men already taken the body? How did any of them get their hands on vibranium? Who were they? What did they want with him? With Wade?

Peter laid back on the slightly angled warehouse roof, staring up at the cloudy sky and noticing suddenly that it was raining. It wasn't raining hard, but his clothes were still soaked through from however long he'd been out here without noticing it. 

Peter didn't really know if he'd be able to appreciate rain again. His senses weren't exactly helping by magnifying the feeling and sound of the water around him, his mind still feeling raw from the unwelcome waterboarding session, no matter how short it had been. 

Another great experience to add to his list of growing reasons why he was so messed u-

One passing out off of a warehouse roof later...



Chapter Text



Peter opened his eyes slowly, his head screaming in protest at the light in the room, no matter how dim it was. He must've hit his head pretty hard somehow.

He recognised the room he was in well enough. He'd been here enough times to recognise the medical wing of the Avenger's building, with Stark tech gaging his heart rate and various things such as allergies he'd had in the past, to his genetic makeup.

Peter didn't know so much of his family was apparently from Europe. 

He pushed himself up into a sitting position, noting the clock on the wall said it was 4 in the morning. At least it wasn't Monday still. Maybe his Parker luck had worn off enough he could remain conscious a little longer than two hours this go around.

He glanced to his side to see Wade sleeping in the chair next to the bed, his face smashed unattractively against the wall next to him. Peter couldn't help the small sigh of relief that escaped him upon seeing the man alive and well next to him.

Looks like his luck was turning after all.

He glanced down at his arm to assess the damage from that vibranium knife, seeing the bandage covering it was stained red and most likely had been stitched closed. Even he knew it had been a rather nasty cut, one that you couldn't just put a band-aid over.

Ned was probably going to be mad he hadn't stolen those vibranium knives, especially when they could've made some cool stuff for the prototype suit out of the melted down material.

All the tech he could've made from that metal...

"You're awake." 

Peter snapped out of his thoughts to turn and look at Wade, the older man sitting upright now and leaning forward on the bed some, looking at him like he'd thought Peter wouldn't ever wake up again. This better not be like one of those Walking Dead things where he'd been in a coma for, like, a year.

Well, when in doubt, act like it was yesterday.

"Where the hell were you? I texted you and called you but none of them went through- and don't you dare say your phone died, because you still should have figured out a way to get into contact with me instead of just leaving me in the dark for the whole night." Peter lectured, not about to give in to the 'I've been faithfully waiting by your bedside in depression' routine. Wade could try, but Peter was still pissed about not knowing where he'd been.

"Well, I kinda went to go stalk this one dude from that gang you told me not to stalk and it didn't turn out so well."

"For fu-" "Language!" "-sake, Wade."

"Explain." Peter demanded, catching himself before he crossed his arms and agitated the possible stitches in his arm. 

"Well for starters, I was on my way to the thing we planned, but the guy shot at me and I decided it would be a bad idea to bring a guy who was shooting to you, so instead I went to just lightly damage the guy and he managed to shoot me a couple times, and one just happened to hit my phone-"

"I'm calling bullshit." Peter said flatly, not even fazed when Wade shook an iPhone with a clean bullet hole through the centre of it in front of his face.

"You could have shot that yourself." Peter argued, Wade rolling his eyes at him.

"Why would I shoot my own phone? Anyways, that wasn't the point, basically, he got a headshot on me and the next thing I know I've got daddy issues dragging me back to his castle so that we can 'talk.'" Wade said with a small shake of his head, Peter noting that 'daddy issues' must mean Tony Stark.

"What did Tony want to talk about?" Peter asked, still unsure of why Wade wouldn't call him after all of that. Wade had to know that Peter had been worried, right?

"Well since Evyn went and broke Brooklyn, Stark's been on the whole Evyn case too, and he came to the same conclusion that I did and wanted to know what info I'd gathered on the whole thing. Which isn't a lot by the way." Wade muttered the last part in annoyance, Peter taking a wild guess to say neither Tony or Wade were very interested in sharing anything with each other. He was a prime example of that. 

 "You still could've called me." Peter said in exasperation, honestly not mad about being uninformed. He was more mad about the fact he'd been worrying about nothing, again.

"By the time I woke up it was already seven at night and Tony asked me to not tell you I was over here. I didn't want to make anything worse by giving you some lie so I just ended up... not." Wade said, looking uncertain of what Peter's reaction would be.

He knew he probably should be mad at Wade, and he should probably lecture him about standing him up, but to be honest, Peter was just tired and didn't want to deal with it.

"Why didn't Tony want me knowing you were over here." Peter sighed, hoping Wade would just let this one slip under the rug for a while, Wade's confidence in the subject seeming to deplete.

Peter knew that they were both kind of new to the whole dating thing, and they were bound to hit bumps along the way, especially when they both had rather time-consuming side-hobbies that were pretty much full-time jobs, but it didn't make the bumps in the road any less annoying to stumble upon.

"He doesn't want you tracking down gangs. To be fair, I don't really want you to either, especially after tonight. But I'm not just going to hide it from you either. It's your choice on what you want to do here." Wade said, still looking like a kicked puppy.

"Look, I'm not mad at you for being shot in the head and listening to Stark. I'm kind of mad you didn't at least let me know that you were alive, and I'm still slightly confused as to why the hell you were at the Avenger's HQ for so long, but I'm not mad at you." Peter stated, shifting on the bed so that he was sitting crosslegged to face Wade, wanting to convey the fact that he seriously wasn't mad.

He obviously didn't want to be stood up without some sort of explanation after a six-hour time period, but he understood the reason it had happened in the first place. There was no sense in being mad at something like Wade getting shot in the head (although as soon as he was feeling up to it, Peter was giving Wade a lecture on chasing after dangerous people without at least warning him).

Wade was a good person, and it was easy to see he hadn't meant to hurt Peter by not contacting him. If anything Wade had most likely been beating himself up about missing the thing and been moping too much to see that Peter wouldn't be mad. He would bet money that something of the sort had occurred. 

"Why are you so laidback about all of this?" Wade asked in confusion, Peter tilting his head slightly in question. 

"I stood you up, you were kidnapped, tortured, fell off a warehouse and gave yourself a concussion all in the span of 24 hours, and you seem fine with it." Wade said slowly, acting as though this wasn't normal behaviour for him. 

Peter recognised that he had a slightly higher threshold when it came to traumatising events, and even with that he still woke up screaming sometimes, Wade knew that much from when he'd been crashing at his place for a week. He wasn't immune to trauma, he was far from immune, but he'd adopted a rather unhealthy habit of pushing it to the very back of his mind where it could only haunt him in his dreams. 

And it wasn't like he totally bottled it up, he'd vented about it a bit to Ned, but as much as Ned was a great friend, he wasn't that great of a therapist. Yet, talking about it did tend to help in some occasions, like when he'd been rather new to everything and Vulture practically haunted his nightmares constantly. But he'd crossed that bridge, he'd done his best to get over it and level up to the next traumatising event on the roster. He had a messy way of coping, but he still managed.  

And he was Spider-man after all. He had to at least have a little bit of tolerance to what usually were mentally scarring events for most people. Being kidnapped and water-boarded wasn't exactly the worst thing to happen to him. 

I killed someone.

The sudden thought had Peter feeling suddenly queasy, his headache coming back full force, making his rolling stomach not feel any better.

"Woah there. Should I call somebody in here? You literally look like you're about to hulk out right now." Wade rattled off, the worry in his voice obvious as he quickly grabbed the trash bin by the chair and held it out for Peter.

He took the bin from Wade's hands cautiously, really hoping he didn't end up puking in front of Wade right now. They were close, but Peter wasn't really sure they were at the 'hold my hair while I vomit into a toilet' sort of close yet. 

Who was he kidding? Not himself. Or his stomach.

Peter gripped the trash bin as he vomited, the same image of someone bleeding out on Wade's hardwood floors flashing in his mind over and over again. He could feel Wade's hand on his back as he tried to regain his senses, trying to get that horrible image out of his head.

Maybe they'd saved the guy, maybe someone had called the cops and an ambulance had picked him up and taken him to the hospital.

I saw that bullet hit. There's no way he got up from it.

 Peter shut his eyes tightly, letting everything sink in for a moment as he tried to calm his breathing, his head still pounding fiercely. 

I killed someone.

I took the life of someone who had a family, friends, maybe even kids. I was the one to take that person from them. 

Was some kid going to attend his father's funeral wondering what sort of person would take his father from him? How was he any different than the man who'd killed Uncle Ben?

Deep down he knew that he'd been fighting to protect himself and everything he'd done was out of self-defence to try and escape the people who'd kidnapped him, but it didn't change the fact that someone out there was most likely suffering because he'd taken a loved one from them. He had to carry that weight on his shoulders for the rest of his life. 

He didn't even know he was crying until Wade pulled him into a hug, quietly reassuring him, even though Peter was too out of it to comprehend what Wade was saying, although, whether or not that was from painkillers or recent realisations he wasn't fully sure. 

He was too tired to thank Wade for the comfort, simply burying his face in the other hero's jacket, closing his eyes again as he tried to forget.




[We are a horrible person.]

(Remind me again why we can't kill ourselves?)

[Peter would feel bad, doofus.]

(Yeah but right now I feel horrible.)

Wade ran his fingers through the younger man's hair, sighing as he wondered what on earth had Peter acting like that. He'd seen fine with everything one second, then as soon as he'd brought it up it was like he'd hit that one nerve that sent the kid into overload.

(Maybe everything just hit him all at once?)

[Waterboarding is definitely not pleasant, he has the right to freak out. I mean did you see that video?]

(That was terrifying. Don't remind me of that.)

Wade held Peter a little closer, his blood chilling at the thought of it.

The kidnappers had been part of the lower ranks of the gang that Wade was hunting, known as the Blue Dragon, a gang of Wakandan rejects whose main dealings included that of the human variety, much like Weapon X.

They targetted people nobody would notice gone, such as the homeless or loners in the community, taking those people and using various untested drugs to turn people into man-made mutants to sell to the highest bidder. 

However, the men tonight had most likely kidnapped Peter in an attempt to get to Wade. 

After killing Yvette, who was one of their scientists, and with Tony Stark capturing Evyn, the members of the gang were on the defensive. They'd most likely seen Peter as a high bargaining chip for the fact he was associated with both Tony Stark and himself.

They'd sent the ransom video of Peter getting tortured to Stark first, demanding that he stay out of their business. And they had most likely intended to send it to Wade as well, although they probably had yet to find a way to come into contact with him, seeing as he'd trashed all his old burner phones. The only reason he'd seen the video was because he was in the Avengers building with Stark at the time. 

Thankfully, they'd underestimated Peter's ability to defend himself this time around. But if they'd managed to catch Peter the first time then Wade knew something had to be done in order to keep him safe. The real question was just what that something was. 

He doubted Peter would take kindly to being in a witness protection system of sorts, even if it was completely organised by himself and Stark. And Wade couldn't just kill all of the Blue Dragon members, at least not with the skills they'd shown so far. 

Which meant teamwork. 


(Do I detect sarcasm?)

[OooOOOOooo, do we get to team up with all the Avengers?!?!]



(Like with Ant-man and DD?)


(woah there.)

"I highly doubt Daredevil would want to team up with us. But Scott likes us enough, and Peter will probably want to help too, so not a shabby team." Wade considered, knowing that Tony Stark would probably come in and bring his super-friends too. In that case, Infinity War could take second place to this awesome team up.

{Can I tag along?}




[BE GONE SATAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

"Your head is an absolute minefield."

Wade turned to see Wanda Maximoff standing in the doorway, her eyes rather wary and her stance like that of someone ready to bolt.

"Most people can't get in my head." Wade said dubiously, narrowing his eyes at her. He still wasn't so sure how he felt about the Scarlet Witch. Especially considering the fact she seemed so close to Peter when Peter hadn't really said much about her. And maybe that was just the 'keep the Peter and the Spider separate' but it still didn't make Wade any less wary of her.



"Trust me when I say it isn't pleasant to be in your head. It's like trying to read a newspaper on a roller coaster." She deadpanned, obviously not thrilled about the fact she couldn't read his mind like everyone else's.

"Maybe you should stay out of it then." Wade said, not totally opposed to getting into a playground fight with the girl. 

(Peter is ours! She can't have him!)

 [She can't steal him away with her mind tricks.]

(How do you knowwww.)

"You get jealous rather easy, don't you." Wanda commented, seeming passive about the whole thing. Which wasn't really what Wade wanted. He'd kind of been hoping she'd give him a reason to hate her guts, but that wasn't going to work if she was just nice about everything.

"I don't plan to take Peter from you. And anyone who thinks they could take Peter away from you is obviously delusional. Kidnapping or romance-wise." Wanda said, walking closer after a moment to look at the sleeping Peter still in Wade's arms. 

"If you're putting together a team to take out those guys who tried to take him then I want on it." She muttered darkly, Wade getting a strong impression that Wanda was one of those 'mom friends' to Peter. Although, when it came to Peter, who wasn't?

[Protect the cinnamon roll.]

(Protect Peteyyyyy.)

"I'll add you to the list then." Wade conceded, looking at his new Stark-given phone that Stark had uploaded Wade's old phone on to, the thing vibrating as Phillip's name popped up on the screen.

What could Phillip possibly want? The guy was ridiculously independent and hardly ever texted Wade unless it was for either friend reasons or business reasons. They generally didn't do a whole lot of chatting back and forth.

Received 04:42: There's a dead body in the hallway of the aprt. Should I dispose of that or just leave it..?

Sent 04:42: what do you mean theres a dead body?

Received 04:43: I mean that there is a body in the hallway

:1 Attachment

[Oh $&!#]

(Well it isn't the first time there's been a dead body in there. Just warn Carlita that there might be blood stains next time we hire her to come over and clean.)

[You're missing the point. Peter probably went to our place when we didn't show up for the date thing, meaning they probably kidnapped him from our place, meaning that the only person who could have put a bullet in that dead guy is Peter.]


Wade glanced down at the boy in his arms, tear streaks still present on his face, but his expression otherwise peaceful from painkiller-induced sleep. 

If it really was Peter who'd shot someone, then that must've been what the earlier freak out had been. As far as Wade knew, Peter had never killed someone, at least not directly and on purpose. Of course, there were accidents in the past where he'd been too late to save people or hadn't managed to get everyone out of a dangerous situation in time, but all of those had been Peter trying to save them. This was somebody who would have had to been shot on purpose. 

Something like that would definitely warrant a freakout. Maybe it wasn't a biggie for Wade, especially considering the guy had most likely been trying to kidnap Peter or injure him, but for Peter, this would be something to add to his already guilt-ridden shoulders.

"What happened?" Wanda asked, Wade having completely forgotten she was even there. 

"I think Peter accidentally killed someone." Wade said flatly, knowing that Wanda was good enough friends with Peter that he could share this information with her. It wasn't proven fact that Peter had killed this supposed dead body anyway. It could have been somebody else who'd dropped a body in his hallway, but until more facts presented themselves otherwise, he'd have to expect the worst.

"Peter did?" Wanda questioned, eyebrows raised in disbelief. 

"I imagine it was in self-defence. He wouldn't even pick up a gun in the first place unless he was sure he couldn't beat them in hand to hand combat. I've gone on enough patrols with him to know that." Wade sighed, thinking over just how much of a mess the Evyn case had become. 

And with Tony Stark pissed off now it was safe to say that Wade was going to be riding in the passenger seat for the rest of the trip. He'd be lucky to get any of his input in. 

yay teamwork.

Sent 04:49: ill let tin-can know. he'll want to do an autopsy on the bastard and identify him. just drag it out onto the balcony and ill have him pick it up from there. thanks phil.

Received 04:49: Np.

"Guess we're the ones looking out for the little guy now, hm?" Wanda murmured, using the same phrase that Wade had heard Peter use a couple times prior. 'Looking out for the little guy' and protecting Queens. 

"Just don't let him hear you say that." Wade joked halfheartedly, knowing that Peter would most likely try and act like nothing was wrong after he got out of this room. He'd tough it out and shove his trauma to the back of his mind. Wade had seen much of the same happen when Peter had taken the dive off that skyscraper.

[We'll just have to be even more there for him than before.]

(What, you want to lock him in our apartment and watch him 24/7? He's pretty much Mr. 'I can do everything by myself' he isn't going to like being babied.)

[I don't mean that. I mean like we just be there for him, let him know he doesn't have to hide stuff from us. You forget that he's been in an environment of total and complete secrecy for roughly three years. He isn't used to opening up about the trauma that happens to him.]

(We aren't really therapist material.)

[We don't have to be. We just have to be there when he wants to talk and let him get it off his chest.]

Wade shifted on the bed some so that he had his back to the backboard and pillow, Peter still nuzzled against his chest, awkwardly resting in his lap from when he'd been super-human hugged. Thank Yoda he had regeneration abilities, otherwise, he was pretty sure he'd have at least some sort of bone damage/bending.

"Whatever happens, be there for him." Wanda stated, the unsaid 'or I'll permanently end you' very clear in her words despite her friendly enough tone.

"Cross my heart and hope to die." Wade replied jokingly, meaning every word of it.

Nobody had to worry about him leaving Peter. Now if Peter ever got tired of Wade then yeah maybe there might be a stalker problem to worry about, but abandoning Peter was something Wade didn't know how to do even if he wanted to. 

He just hoped that Peter wouldn't come to his senses and leave him.



Chapter Text



Miles Granite.

That was the name of the man that Peter had killed. 

He looked at the small file Tony Stark had sent home with him, detailing the man's background and prior criminal records, Peter noting the fact that there was no listed family members and several murder charges on his record, although the murder charges were all mysteriously dropped. Which meant he had most likely been apart of an organization at the time of the murders, most likely the organisation who trained him to be a ninja. 

That fact made Peter feel slightly better about what he'd done, although, the fact he felt better about killing someone made him feel even more guilty than before. It was a never-ending circle of guilt and depression.

Where most times he'd be able to accept something and move on with his life, the scars were still fresh here. 

Speaking of scars.

"It should be fine to heal on its own now, I don't understand why you're wrapping it again." Peter sighed, the long cut along the length of his arm closed at this point, especially with the prior help from the stitches. The only wound-like quality it had now was the angry redness around the stitches. Hardly need for a bandage now if it would most likely be healed within the hour.

"I'm just making sure that it doesn't get infected." Wade insisted, adjusting himself on the couch slightly as Peter threw his feet over the other man's lap, still holding his arm out for Wade to wrap the thing in bandages because apparently, he was incapable of doing it himself. Peter was pretty sure Wade just liked being a domestic dork with him, which if that was the case then Peter really couldn't complain. 

Wade had probably saved enough grateful princesses from towers for him to have had numerous flings in the past, and Peter felt comforted by the fact that Wade wanted to be close to him not just for the sex, but for simply being around him as well. 

Although Peter wasn't about to pass up the sex. Wade had proved himself in just how easy he could find all the right buttons to push when it came to Peter's body, and as soon as they were done with working out this Blue Dragon thing Peter was jumping on the first opportunity he got for a second round. But for now, 

"So just how exactly are we going to stop this mutant gang?" Peter asked again, looking at the folders on the table that held the criminal records and info on everyone Wade had tagged with a tracker so far, identified with Stark's help.

"Well I got the details from Shuri and she gave me the files on every Wakandan fugitive on the radar. And with the tracking I've done, I have a general idea on the locations they occupy, so rounding up all the low-tier members would be easy enough for the cops, especially since most of them aren't mutants. From what I've gathered, they've adopted a military-style-ish sort of ranking system, with squad leaders for teams of 5 or 9, roughly around 20 squads altogether and as a total that's around 180 low tier members, excluding the squad leaders, so that's an added 20. Then there are the top dogs, the big fish, the cherries on the top. From what I've seen there's 4 in total, with each being heavily guarded, all 4 being mutants, AND the #1 baddie that controls them also being mutant, and most likely a real sucker to beat. Which is where we come in, to take them out and arrest them, or whatever Stark does with villains." Wade said rather quickly, continuing to wrap Peter's arm while he talked.

"Okay, so I got most of that, with the gang ranking thing and, and stuff- but who the hell is Shuri? And when did you have all the time to figure all this out?" Peter questioned, pulling his arm back to his side as Wade finished bandaging it. 

"Shuri is the Black Panther's super techy smart princess sister. Apparently, MJ is friends with her, so she gave me her number. And it wasn't hard to figure out the ranking system. Just stalk a couple people and you generally figure it out, although, my current theory on their system is still just a theory, it's not like it's set in stone or anything. Like it's a good theory, but it could still be wrong for all I know." Wade clarified, turning back to the files and laptop in front of him as he chucked the spare bandages back towards the hall closet, not bothering to get up and put it away.

Screw Wade having time to completely analyse a gang, where the hell did MJ get the time to make friends with a Wakandan Princess? That wasn't just a casual 'We met at summer camp' sort of deal. 

"So I've got the whole super-hero guest list going on, and so far I've got the confirmed RSVP's for Scott Lang, Scott's super sexy Wasp girlfriend, Hawkeye, Wanda Maximoff, Phillip said he'd be cool with joining and then we also have Jessica Jones coming, but we'll see if she actually shows up. Then all the maybe's include Iron-man and co." Wade said, scrolling through a list on his phone.

"Wait- Phillip can fight? I thought Phillip was, I don't know- normal?" Peter said in disbelief, so many weird statements being put on the backburner in his mind. Like how Wade's contacts included Jessica Jones and Clint Barton, especially when Clint and Wade hadn't ever met before the weird super-hero get-together at the beginning of the month.

"Did you honestly think just a normal guy could manage to live with me for this long? No way. Phillip is probably the second most powerful sorcerer in New York, although he's annoyingly humble about it. Hates showing off." Wade said with a shake of his head.

"Okay hold up- just so we're clear, Doctor Strange is the most powerful sorcerer in New York, right? So if Phillip is the second most powerful sorcerer..?" Peter asked with raised eyebrows, finding all of this new information just slightly difficult to process all at once.

"Well I mean, there's only like a couple legit sorcerers in New York, and Phillip is hardly advertising himself as world-saving material, but yeah, he's pretty powerful as far as sorcerers go." Wade replied with a shrug, looking at Peter as though this was just a totally normal casual thing to be.

"Why does nobody tell me things?!" Peter exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air before running his fingers through his hair in frustration, standing up and pacing in front of the couch to give his restless body a way to expel the nervous energy. 

"Well I mean, it's just Phillip, there's a lot of things he doesn't tell me. I just happened to catch him reverse time magicking his coffee back together after he dropped it one time. Which I don't really understand, because I watched the movie and I'm pretty sure you need that giant eye necklace with the infinity stone for time magic and last I checked Phillip doesn't have the eye thi-"

"Wade I have no idea what you're talking about." Peter interjected as he came to a stop in front of a still seated Wade, not sure how films had anything to do with the current conversation.

"Well anyways, Phillip is a wizard dude." Wade waved off, picking up a new file that contained all the locations The Blue Dragon most frequented.

"Does MJ know Phillip's a wizard?" Peter questioned as an afterthought, slightly annoyed that Wade wasn't giving him his full attention, even though he knew at this point the files were more important and he should probably be scanning them for info instead of tripping balls over the fact Wade lived with a sorcerer.

"I'm like 80% sure she knows. I at least know that she reads weird books written in Sanskrit on the occasion. Although, that might just be a Doctor Strange fangirl thing..? I'm not really sure... not really sure how that fanbase works out." Wade said, glancing up at a slightly agitated Peter, throwing the file on the coffee table.

Peter wasn't exactly sure how to take that, seeing as that either meant MJ was a sorcerer (sorceress?) herself, or she most likely wanted to be. And if she became a superhero then Ned was going to start feeling left out- Oh for [(Family Friendly :D)]'s sake, what if MJ tried teaching Ned magic stuff? 

I wonder if she'd teach me how to make one of those portal thingys?

"Holy shit it makes so much more sense how Phillip magically appears places now." Peter realised, having at least some knowledge of Doctor Strange's weird abilities, and the orange glowy circle portals.

"Watch yo profanity, but yeah, now that you mention it, that does make a lot of sense." Wade commented thoughtfully, Peter shooting him a weird look.

"How long have you lived with Phillip?" Peter asked sceptically, slumping back onto the couch now that the idea of Phillip being a sorcerer was a little less weird than before. He totally knew the guy was at least some sort of magic, with how well he got around. He'd known since the beginning. Obviously.

"Hey, my observation skills are great, I just don't know about all the witch-y stuff." Wade said with a roll of his eyes, Peter wondering if he would ever be able to look at Phillip the same way again. Especially if he was up in the big leagues with Doctor Strange. The list of 'powerful people he somehow knew' was constantly growing.

"So if you're done having a muggle-meltdown, I think I figured out where their main base of operations is, and I'm thinking we should scope the place out tonight, just to make sure we've got the right place." Wade said, Peter slightly surprised at the Harry Potter reference, deciding not to make a comment and instead move back to the more job-based conversation.

"You want to scope it out tonight? Where even is this place?" Peter asked, picking up the folder with 'LOCATIONS' written on it in chicken scratch.

"East River Gentleman's Club in Long Island City. 'Supposed to have some reaaal classy chicks." Wade said, Peter blinking a couple times as he processed that.

"So we're going to go scope out a strip club at night, which just happens to be the same time everybody else goes to a strip club? Won't it be kind of hard to scope out anything?" Peter clarified, wondering just how much his Aunt would hate him for this if he ever told her. Not that he was planning to share this info with her.

"Exactly, we'll be blending in." Wade said, Peter finding it slightly hard to believe that Wade could just blend in. Between Wade's scars and how young Peter looked, there was absolutely no way they were going to be getting into a strip club undetected.

"I think if we go, we'll just blow our cover. You're covered in scars and I look twelve. We're rather difficult to miss." Peter stated flatly, not keen on casually dropping by a strip club. He wasn't a prude, but he generally wasn't a fan of being on unequal-ground with people, especially when they were trying to sexually appeal to him. 

Just generally he didn't like having people giving him attention. Maybe it was a side-effect of being bullied by Flash for most of his school-life, but generally, he wasn't a fan of unneeded attention. 

"You're forgetting the fact that nobody really knows what I look like. Most the files they probably have on me are from when I looked sexy AF. They aren't expecting my sunburnt avocado mug. And I doubt they really care enough about you to memorise your face. Besides, you look more 16 or 17 than 12. Just mess up your hair a little and add some sunglasses and you'll look like a totally different person." Wade argued, Peter still not totally sold on the idea.

"And you're sure we're going there to look for bad guys and not just going so that you can hit on hot girls?" Peter asked uncertainly, not wanting to sound insecure about what they had, but he also wanted to know if Wade was already getting bored of him and was looking for something else. Because if that was the case then Peter honestly didn't know how he'd take it. 

"Petey you are the bestest boyfriend in the whole wide multiverse, no stripper could ever steal me away from you." Wade assured in an over-exaggerated tone, pulling Peter into a bone-crushing hug to smother the younger hero in kisses.

"Alright! Alright! I get it!" Peter laughed, playfully trying to escape without using any of his actual strength. Call him soft all you want, but he felt after everything that had happened, he could afford to be cute and cheesy with his boyfriend. Especially seeing as they were two bisexual (pansexual?) men about to go to a strip club as a couple. Yay for date nights?

Peter paused for a moment when Wade did, glancing up at the other man with curious eyes, wondering if the boxes were talking again. He had to admit he was rather jealous of having to share Wade with them when he couldn't even hear them. 

Although, from what he'd gathered from small snippets he'd heard or from what Wade sometimes told him, the White box was sort of like the logical side of Wade, and the Yellow box was the more emotional side, with each one acting as another extension of Wade in his thoughts. Which was beyond frustrating when he felt he didn't fully know Wade without hearing what they could say. 

"To be clear, you're okay if we go to that club, right? Because if you don't want to go, or you don't want me to go, we can totally drop this and get Weasel to hack the security cameras or something." Wade offered, Peter surprised by the honesty of the suggestion. 

"No, it's fine, I'm just- Well, for one, I don't want them recognising us and blowing our covers. That's the main reason. And I'll admit I'm a little nervous, since I know I'm definitely not exactly the, I don't know- ideal..? I'm not the ideal person you'd go for. I mean I'm not like the girls at this club we're going to, or like any girl in general, but I do trust you- It's just more, it's more my own insecurity than me not trusting you- not that I'm that insecure. I don't want to be a stripper or anything, I'm not meaning, I don't-" Peter stopped, letting out a small sigh of annoyance, not really understanding where he was going with this.

"You're my ideal everything." Wade murmured, the unusual quietness of his voice sending shivers down Peter's spine. 

"Flattery and cheesy lines will get you nowhere, Wilson." Peter answered, his words sounding off with how he automatically adjusted to the whispered volume they'd suddenly gone to.

He wasn't sure how to react to this sudden mood shift at all

It felt like Wade was just pulling him along with this complete bipolar-istic mood swing thing he had going for him, and Wade hadn't even done much of anything. Maybe Peter was the one that was bipolar. That was probably something he should bring up with his next visit to the therapist he didn't have. 

"I don't know, it's gotten me pretty far." Wade teased, his arms still wrapped around Peter as they lounged on the couch, neither of them making a move to move anytime soon. 

"Mm, well we're still supposedly doing some supposed spy work tonight, so you better not be expecting anything from me." Peter said awkwardly, still not used to how the relationship thing worked. He honestly shouldn't be this embarrassed talking about... stuff, at least with Wade.

"So I can't cuddle you on the couch?" Wade asked innocently, the bastard knowing exactly where his hands were, even if they weren't doing anything by simply resting dangerously low around Peter's waist. 

"Like I said, don't expect anything. Now. The gang people. You said they were mutants?" Peter inquired, perfectly fine just ignoring the sexual tension in the air in exchange for more info on The Blue Dragon, Wade letting out a small sigh.

"I'm still not sure on two of the four, but so far I'm fairly certain that the one I was tracking a couple days ago can blend into anything, like that annoying purple gecko in Monsters Inc. As for the other person I know of, I've seen her completely obliterate a person with her laser hands." Wade said, handing Peter the tablet that showed two of the Wakandan fugitives. 

"You mean like... actual lasers..?" Peter asked uncertainly, wondering if Scott Summers had any distant cousins he hadn't heard of from Wakanda.

"Well, not really lasers. It's more like her hands glow this red colour and if she touches you then she melts through you like a hot knife through butter." Wade conceded, Peter not really enjoying that mental image.

"So she becomes a laser?" Peter clarified, not liking the idea of going head-on with these people anymore. Getting his arm melted off wasn't exactly on his bucket list, and they didn't even know what the other two of the four were capable of, let alone the leader.

"Yeah, something like that. I was thinking since you're so buddy-buddy with flame puff you could ask him to join in on our little game day escapade, seeing as he'd probably be invulnerable to her." Wade teased, Peter smiling despite himself at the rather cutesy sounding name for the Human Torch.

"We aren't buddy-buddy. We're co-workers sometimes." Peter corrected. Because while he and Johnny Storm were on good terms, it was mostly Storm who'd pushed the friendship thing. Peter would have been much more comfortable being Spider-man without the super-friends, especially when he still hid his identity from those super-friends, but as far as friends went, Johnny Storm wasn't a bad one. Just maybe a little over-enthusiastic to be spending time with him, not that Peter really minded.

"You're just saying that so you don't hurt Ned and MJ's feelings. I've seen you with your personality-swap trios. It's the whole Peter, Ned, MJ thing when you're in civilian mode, but I've seen you with Wanda and Johnny too. I know you're closer than you guys let on. You just let the job get in the way of what you call friends." Wade stated with a roll of his eyes.

Was he? When it came to the people he knew as Spider-man he couldn't help but feel slightly detached. With Wanda, it was somewhat different since she knew him as Peter, and he felt close to her, but nowhere near as close to him as MJ and Ned were to him. But Storm?

Peter tilted his head slightly in thought, trying to figure out what exactly he thought of Storm. They could be friends probably. Although, Storm came from a much more 'Mr. popular' sort of place, whereas Peter himself was a little more from the opposite side of the spectrum. But Storm was pretty alright, and he didn't mind being friends with him. 

"You take so long to think about things. I don't know how your reaction speed is as high as it is." Wade commented, Peter glancing up to glare at the other man in reply.

"Well, even with Storm's help, I don't see how it would do us any good. If she can't be contained by bulletproof glass or steel, or anything we try to put her in, then we're pretty much screwed." Peter said instead of replying to the previous statement. 

"Yeah, I've thought about that and I'm thinking we ask T'Challa if we can dump the criminals on him, cause I'm pretty sure Stark doesn't have some crazy underground prison, and the main leaders of this gang are Wakandan fugitives. So they'd probably want these guys so they can punish them themselves." Wade said thoughtfully, Peter not about to object to having someone else take these guys off their hands. 

"But first things first- no, shut up- we have to know who we're up against. Which means onwards to the strip club!" Wade snickered, Peter giving him an unenthused look at the enthusiasm.

Well, this would surely be an experience to add to the 'things I wish I'd never done' list.






Chapter Text



I cannot believe I'm doing this.

Peter was currently wearing sunglasses. At night.

Only douches did that.

Wade had convinced him to wear this cruddy outfit that he would never in a million years wear on his own, which was probably what Wade had been going for. But wearing black skinny jeans and a leather jacket just made him look like one of the emo reject kids at his school. And adding the sunglasses it felt even worse.

"Alright, keep your eyes open for anyone our two targets talk to or approach. They're probably one of the four. Oh, and try to maybe get lost trying to find the restroom or something, look for any suspicious building layout things." Wade reminded him as they stood outside the back door of the strip club, fake ID's safely in their pockets as Wade wedged open the door.

Peter had already gone over every tiny detail in his mind, down to memorising the building's blueprints that Wade had pulled off Google earlier.

"Have fun." Wade teased, holding the door open for him.

"Yeah, you know me and strip clubs. My favourite place to be." Peter muttered sarcastically, knowing Wade heard him as Peter slipped inside, Wade waiting outside for a couple minutes so neither of them seemed suspicious walking in. 

The first thing Peter noticed was how loud it was and how jarring it was on his senses. 

It was like everything was rushing at him all at once, with the loud music and drunks over by the bar laughing loudly, the smell of alcohol, the bright lights that were focused on a girl dancing on stage, it was all unbearably overwhelming to be thrust into the situation blind to as what he should expect. 

But as his senses calmed once more, and the tingly sense of danger had disappeared, he had to admit that the stereotypes in his head when it came to strip clubs were thoroughly shattered.

He'd been aware that this place was supposed to be classy, but he hadn't known it would be quite this classy.  

The bar area was actually quite large with some choice bottles on the shelves that looked to be rather expensive, not to mention the bar itself was a shiny pristine white colour decorated with gold swirls, Peter not doubting it was real gold for a second. The whole interior shared the same colour scheme that gave off a pure and pristine vibe. 

Definitely not what he'd been expecting. 

The whole building was roughly in a circular shape, with the private rooms off to the leftmost hallway of the circle, and the bar directly across, with the main stage at the very centre, space around and between having booths and tables to sit and watch from. 

The sound system of the club was also a rather expensive piece, with the DJ's area being in front of the circular staircase that led up to the second floor, a place that Peter could easily see was heavily guarded and only meant for the serious guests. And he was guessing those serious guests weren't here for the dancers. 

Peter hesitantly walked towards the bar, unsure of what exactly he was supposed to do. He knew he was looking for the two people from the file, and anyone they talked to, but without Wade right next to him, he felt somewhat alone and vulnerable. But they had already decided that sticking together would be too suspicious, so here he was. All alone in a strip club. Casually trying to hunt down a gang. Fun times.

This was a bad idea.

Peter sighed, glancing around the club again to see if he could catch a quick glimpse of one of the targets. Although when their photos had been taken for the files their hair had been cut short, prison-style, and Peter doubted they'd keep the same image if they were trying to keep a low profile.

Although he couldn't see anything in these damn sunglasses.

In a fit of frustration, he took the stupid things off and pocketed them, his eyes straying to the stage at the centre of the building, a beautiful fair skinned girl dancing there, Peter blushing when his eyes travelled farther down, once again reminded that he was at a strip club and not just a nice bar.

"Can I get anything for you tonight?"

Peter startled and quickly turned to look at the bartender, wondering if she would comment on how young he looked. He was still 18, it wasn't like he was 14 and had just snuck in. He totally could be here.

"Um, do you- do you have just Sprite?" Peter asked politely, tripping over himself slightly when he saw just how beautiful the bartender really was. 

Her eyes were the exact shade of melted chocolate and her hair cascaded around her face in dark golden waves, the colour complimenting her tanned skin perfectly. Peter swallowed nervously as she smiled at him and tilted her head to the side slightly, her long hair shifting more around her shoulders at the movement. 


"I think I can do that." She said playfully, turning on her heel to grab him his drink, Peter immediately face-palming when she wasn't facing him. 

He had honestly been worried about Wade being unfaithful and here he was tripping over himself for a pretty girl. 

Why was he like this. 

Well, it's not like she's interested in me. I can handle talking to an uninterested pretty girl. This isn't the end of the world. 

Yet, he still felt guilty about finding a girl so attractive when he was in a relationship. He felt like he was mentally cheating on Wade just by looking at her.

"Here you go, one alcohol-free Sprite." She chirped, setting it down in front of him, chocolate brown eyes staring at him like she could see right through to his soul, the soft smile she had not doing anything to help the small crush he was starting to have on her. 

"H-how much is it?" Peter asked, digging his wallet out of his pocket, forgetting that currency was a thing for a second.

"It's on the house for you." She said, leaning forward slightly on the counter, Peter's heart nearly stopping in his chest. This didn't seem like uninterested girl behaviour. 

"Um, that's not- I mean- You could get in trouble for that, I'd rather just pay..?" Peter tried, her chocolate brown eyes so much closer now, her long eyelashes catching the light to give them a golden glow, everything about her like that of a goddess. 

"You're so easily flustered, definitely not typical of the men who come in here." She commented, her eyes giving him a quick once over that had his skin crawling and his face going cherry red, the one thing he didn't want to have happen.

"My name's Kit." She offered, her head tilting a little in silent question for his name. 

"I-I'm Peter." He stuttered, wishing Wade would save him before he made a complete fool out of himself in front of the pretty girl and ruined his own relationship all in one go. 

"Hey! Do you mind? I've been waiting for my glass to get refilled." A scruffy looking man called a few stools over, already looking to have had his glass refilled one too many times already.

"Sorry, I'm distracting you. You should probably go back to your job thing." Peter said sheepishly, not wanting to bring any more attention to himself than need be. Having the extremely hot bartender talking to him probably wasn't the best for keeping a low profile.

"I'm on break, ask the other bartender." Kit said smoothly, her voice cold as dry ice, eyes narrowed like a cat looking at something distasteful.

"Maybe I want the sexy bartender instead." The scruffy man called, obviously thinking he was suaver than he was.

"Leave her alone dude." Peter said with a frown, not sure how he should be playing this. On one hand, he didn't want someone harassing a girl he'd just met, but he also didn't want to catch the attention of any of the people around him just in case they were part of The Blue Dragon and recognised him. 

"Mind your own business, kid." The man spat in agitation, giving Peter a glare that had him on edge. He didn't want to fight anybody tonight, especially someone who'd go down after one hit, even at Peter's previous wimpy strength. 

"Let's get out of here, follow me." Kit sighed, taking Peter's hand to lead him towards the booths, Peter slightly stunned by the touch. He needed an adult, preferably the one he'd come here with. 

"Wait here." She murmured in his ear, Peter simply nodding, too shocked to even say anything. 

He hadn't even been here that long and he had some beautiful girl leading him around the building like a lovesick puppy. How had he managed to get into this absolute mess?

What about Wade? Where is Wade?

He glanced around, trying to scan most of the seating but not finding anyone who resembled Wade. Although, the other man could've just been exploring the more hidden parts of the building, like the upstairs, but it seemed rather difficult to get up to the second floor. 

Peter watched the second floor warily, the VIP guests up there not doing much but watching the dancer on stage, whispering amongst themselves. However, even with Peter's enhanced hearing, he wouldn't be able to hear what they were saying.

From what he could see there was one man who seemed to have a higher authority over all of them, and Peter would bet money on him being the leader of The Blue Dragon. But then what did that make the people around him? He didn't recognise any of the three sitting with him, but was that just because they weren't apart of the gang? Could they be from a different gang? Possibly a business deal?

Peter didn't really know how gangs worked, and he probably should've asked Wade about it before deciding to go on a gang-scoping mission to a gang-run strip club. 

If whatever was happening up there was a business deal, then what were they buying or selling? Mutants? That was what Wade had said was their main trade. Although he supposed it wouldn't be uncommon for a gang like this to have their fingers in multiple pots. Just what exactly those pots might be was an issue they seriously needed to figure out, especially with such a well-rooted gang like this one. Why had nobody caught these guys yet? 

Peter glanced at the bar again as one of the bouncers up top turned to look down at everyone below. He met Wade's eyes in surprise, apparently both of them having almost been caught looking. 

Wade pointed discretely to the second floor before holding up one finger.

'He's the leader.'

Peter nodded in agreement, Wade pointing towards the bartender who'd taken Kit's place and holding up two fingers now. 

The bartender was part of the four? He hadn't been in the file they'd been given. How did Wade know it was him? 

Peter startled when a couple people started cheering, or more catcalling, which he felt was rather out of place for how chill it had been before. That was until he saw what all the cheering was actually about.

Kit had changed into a costume that resembled the female version of Apollo, with golden material just barely covering her with the way it seemed to glide over her skin like silk. If she'd been a goddess before, Peter didn't know what to think now. She was completely breathtaking.

She was completely in tune with the music, each move showcasing just how in control of her body she was, moving with each note. Every time she twirled it felt like Peter was watching her in slow motion, her long hair flowing behind her, somehow keeping out of her way as she danced. Everything about her was meant to enchant and encapture you.

A glance in Wade's direction let him know that Wade was just as shell-shocked by the girl who was now easily navigating her way around the pole on the stage, pulling herself up with a strength that Peter hadn't noticed before and slowly spinning her way down again. She could put even Peter's flexibility to shame.

Well then. No wonder people went to strip clubs.  

Unlike some of the other dancers who were sometimes choppy in their movements, Kit was nothing but smooth, each twist and step elegant and seamless into the next twirl, holding Peter's attention captive as he watched the girl once again swing herself around the pole, a couple people wolf whistling or giving shouts of encouragement as she slid down the pole, somehow making you feel like she was in complete control. Where the others were submissive, she was nothing but dominant.

Peter noted she wasn't wearing the typical heels the other girls wore either, her feet completely bare as she pulled herself up, fully upside down now as she made eye contact with Peter, his throat suddenly going dry. 

hE nEeDeD aN aDuLt.

Soon enough the song she'd been dancing to ended and she walked off the stage, much to everyone's dismay, her golden colours disappearing into the back of the building, leaving the next dancer with impossible shoes to fill. Peter almost felt bad for the next girl, although currently, he was too busy short-circuiting entirely to think about that.

He glanced up towards the second floor again, his eyes catching on something before they reached it, instead, watching as the man he'd seen in one of the files made his way to the bar to chat with the man Wade had pointed to earlier. 

But if the four biggest threats were literally staff in the club then who was sitting upstairs with the main baddie? Guards? Security? Or was there more mutants here then they'd originally thought?

"You look dazed." Kit teased, plopping into the seat across from him again with a smile on her face as bright as the sun. 

"Yeah, just- you know, thinking, and stuff." Peter said awkwardly, quickly diverting his eyes from anything that could be considered related to The Blue Dragon, keeping his eyes glued to hers instead.

"So what'd you think? Enjoy the show?" She said lowly, her voice soft but forceful in a way that had Peter starting to wonder if she was some sort of siren. Surely no human could be this beautiful, right?

"Yeah, you were amazing. You must've had to train a lot to get so good at that, especially with how easily you lift yourself off the ground." Peter said, feeling that lifting themselves off the ground was something they both had in common, oddly enough. Although with the way her eyes lit up at the praise, Peter really was starting to wish he'd kept the comment to himself. 

He didn't want to lead this girl on more than he already apparently had, and the impression he was already giving off about himself by being in a strip club in the first place wasn't exactly helping his situation any. 

"Look, Peter we could get out of here..." Kit murmured, leaning forward a little in her seat, her costume less revealing than before, but still enough for Peter to get flustered, not that he wasn't already.

"Um, I have a boyfriend..." Peter replied awkwardly, his eyes shifting to where Wade had been a moment before, no longer there.

"You think the other people in this club are single? I promise I won't tell." Kit whispered, her voice easily picked up from the surrounding music with Peter's sense of hearing. 

"No, I'd just rather stay true to my boyfriend." Peter protested weakly, wondering where on earth Wade could have gone. Had the guy from before gotten him? The bartender was still there, so he hadn't been caught, had he? Although the guy from before, his ability was invisibility, wasn't it? Did that include making other people invisible? Had someone kidnapped Wade?

Something felt off. Something felt wrong here, and it wasn't just the fact that the prettiest girl in here was somehow interested in him, although that was also odd. 

It felt like things somehow were on edge. Like something was about to happen. It was that feeling of charged tension in the air right before a storm hit.

Just as Peter was thinking about getting up to go and look for Wade, he felt that building tension drop.

"Listen very closely Mr. Parker." Kit spoke up suddenly, Peter immediately realising that he'd made the mistake of sitting with someone who worked for the club, therefore someone most likely in The Blue Dragon. 

Was Kit one of the 4 he and Wade were looking for? ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod-

"We have Wade, and should you try anything we will gladly keep Wade in our custody. And I'm sure you don't want your precious boyfriend going through any more torture than he has to, hm?" Kit purred, Peter's heart skipping a beat as he realised this was now a hostage situation. 

She had most likely been distracting Peter so that they could get Wade, and now they were both in trouble. Peter almost felt hurt, realising that the only reason Kit had even approached him in the first place was a means for a distraction.

"Now, I'm going to take you to meet Apiyo, and then we will discuss the terms of your boyfriend's release. Sound good?" Kit asked, her cheerful attitude no longer endearing.

They had captured Wade.

They got Wade.

Should he try fighting his way out of this? Running for help? He was in a club full of possible hostages with multiple Blue Dragon members who had abilities yet to be seen, and they were aware of his presence. 

Received 21:07: hey im just waiting out in the car, so whenever youre ready to go im just out here. dont feel like you need to rush or anything.

Several things went through Peter's head in that second.

1). Oh shit she's lying.

2). That is the most dejected and depressed text I've ever read in my life.


Peter flew out of there like a spooked cat, straight up vaulting over a good portion of the seating, sprinting for the backdoor and praying that Kit wasn't somehow carrying a gun with how little she was wearing and planned to shoot him with it. He honestly didn't know what to expect now other than don't trust anything or anyone because they're all secretly evil.

He nearly hit a drunk man coming out of the bathroom in his haste, several people shouting from the upper level of the building in the same language his previous kidnappers had spoken, fueling his panic-induced sprint for the exit even more than before. 

He wasn't sure if he'd even make it out the door in the end, but somehow he managed it, running as fast as he possibly could towards the car in the parking lot, nearly ripping the door handle off in his haste to get in. 

"Drive! Drive! Drive!" Peter gasped out as he collapsed into the passenger's seat, his senses screaming at him as he quickly ducked, a bullet hitting where his head had been.

"I leave you alone for TWO MINUTES-" Wade exclaimed, cutting himself off as he brought the car to life, took it out of park, and had it headed for the quickest route back to Manhattan all in one swift impressive movement.

"The girl I was with," Heavy breathing. "I think she's one of the four." Peter finished, wondering if he was out of breath from running or simply panic, maybe a combination of both.

"Never liked her." Wade agreed, Peter not really sure if he was agreeing with what Peter had said or one of the boxes.

"The other bartender, you acted like you thought he was one of them too." Peter reminded, wanting more details on everything now that they were together again and safe. Or at least as safe as one could be weaving in and out of traffic to try and lose possible tails.

Peter didn't think he'd ever leave Wade's side again if he was being honest, not if this was the result of them apart.

"Yeah, the Invisible Man was talking with him in Swahili about a deal they'd be making down at the docks two days from now, although they neglected to mention which docks specifically." Wade said, making a sharp right and cutting across traffic to safely drive behind a discrete minivan.

"A deal? So that means we have a set date with a general location. Okay, this is good. We can just have Stark track all the cameras or something, right? Find the dock that way and then show up when it happens?" Peter suggested, wondering just how many of The Blue Dragon would be there.

"No, I can do us one better. Before they both headed upstairs  I tagged them with a tracker slash mic. I've got a live feed on everything they say while they're up there. Give it some time and I'll know the exact time and location they'll be. All that's left to do is have teams in place to arrest as many of them all at once as we can." Wade stated with confidence, Peter knowing he must be glad to have this whole thing drawing to a close.

This whole mess would soon be over and Peter would be able to say nothing like what had happened to Aiden would be able to happen to anyone again. At least not from messes made by The Blue Dragon.

Peter let himself relax into the passenger seat, closing his eyes and appreciating the quie-

"So what did you do? I mean, that one chick looked like she was over the moon for you. What happened that pissed her off?" Wade asked, effectively bringing Peter back into the conversation and out of his own head.

"I don't know. It felt like we were only there for a few minutes, and I'm still just trying to go over everything in my head." Peter sighed, not knowing what to think of the recent activities.

"I think that the girl- the bartender girl- I think she has to be one of the four. And most likely for a good reason. It was almost like she knew when I was starting to panic, like she knew exactly what I was thinking." Peter said, leaning back in his chair as he watched the road ahead of them without really seeing it.

"Do you think she's a mind reader? Some sort of psychic mutant? Like Professor X?" Wade questioned, taking an exit that would definitely confuse someone on their tail if they had any.

"Maybe? I'm not a mutant expert, but it was like she read my thoughts and picked the exact things I was worried about to use against me. Like when I noticed you were gone and was starting to worry that they'd gotten you, she picked that and went with it- tried to use you as a hostage without even having you." Peter huffed, wondering what he would have done if Wade hadn't texted him. That was a headache for another day.

"Alright, well if that's the case then we know 3 out of 4 abilities of our all-star team. I'd say that's a pretty good start." Wade shrugged, Peter not saying anything in response.

Even just missing one detail could mean tragedy to an entire team of people.

All that was left to do now was pray the details they found were enough to save them.



Chapter Text



Peter awkwardly stood by the gate, checking his phone for what felt like the fiftieth time just to make sure nobody had texted him and his phone hadn't made the notification sound.

MJ and Ned were going to meet him after school and the three of them were going over to Wade's apartment to just hang out. Sadly Wade wouldn't be there since he was still digging up info about The Blue Dragon with all his various sources, but his apartment had just sort of become the main place to be with everything going on lately. 

Not to mention the time Peter had pretty much broken his whole body and been stuck there for like a week. That had pretty much been the 'make yourself at home' week, and then with all the chilling with Wade it had just cemented in his mind as his own in a weird sense. 

It wasn't that he partially owned Wade's apartment, seeing as the rent probably cost more than Peter's net worth, but it was more that Peter could 'accidentally' break a door and Wade wouldn't care at all. He just felt... at home.

Peter ran a fidgeting hand through his hair, effectively messing it up back to the bed-head-esque state it had been in this morning.

It hadn't even been 3 months and here he was with someone, a guy no less, he'd never in a million years have thought he'd end up with, pondering over how at home he felt in his apartment. Was he going completely out of his mind?

Ironically, he hadn't felt this at ease with his mental state in a long time.

For once he finally had someone he wasn't embarrassed to ask for help from. His weird father-like relationship with Tony Stark finally had some healthy qualities to it rather than just the constant state of miscommunication and hidden agendas. And Aunt May finally knew about what he did as Spider-man, and she was surprisingly okay with it. Although, he had a feeling that had more to do with the fact she was trying to let him be more of an adult, more responsible. Apparently, being a superhero fell under that category in her mind.

Peter glanced up when he caught sight of Ned and MJ in his peripheral vision, the two of them chatting as they made their way over to him, with the bits and pieces that Peter caught letting him know Ned was babbling on about the technological components of the prototype suit in public again. They were beyond lucky nobody ever took them seriously enough to eavesdrop on them.

"You guys ready to trek across New York?" Peter asked jokingly, knowing it wasn't that far to Wade's, but the other two always complained about it because there was a small walk to the subway station.

"We've got questions today, so anytime to have you cornered is a good time." MJ smirked, Peter wondering if he should be worried about his life or not.

"And I found out something new we could do for the suit subsystems." Ned piped up, Peter smiling nervously at how happy his best friends seemed to be over the current circumstances. 

"Me first, I want to know everything about The Blue Dragon case." MJ said happily, walking towards the gate as he and Ned quickly followed. 

"I'm only telling you about that if you tell me how you know the Princess of Wakanda." Peter fired back, still not sure how on earth MJ and Shuri knew each other. 

"A while back Shuri wanted to get in contact with Wade and Wade was off the radar, even with her tech stuff, so she found out I knew him and texted me instead. Quick friends from there. Now spill about the case. From what Wade has mentioned it sounds pretty big." MJ said with ease, the story a lot less crazy than what Peter had been expecting. Still odd, and he felt he was missing details, but from what he could tell that was pretty much the full story. 

He wasn't exactly sure if he should be telling MJ about the whole Blue Dragon thing, but he kept his voice a little lower and used somewhat vague language to tell her everything anyway. They were his friends, if anyone was going to want to know what dangerous feats he was up to then it would be them.

"Wait, dude, you went to a strip club last night?" Ned asked in disbelief, Peter debating whether or not to shush him or just hide his own red face in embarrassment. 

"Yeah, I almost got caught by Blue Dragon too. I would have been in big trouble if Wade hadn't texted me." Peter said sheepishly, Kit still somewhat haunting his memories. It hadn't been long since he'd last seen her, but he still felt like all his memories of her were crystal clear. Almost like she'd wanted them cemented in his memory. 

It was slightly terrifying, and he wasn't exactly sure if her abilities could control or influence people, but he still felt guilty about how captured he'd been by her in the first place.  

If he wasn't in a relationship with Wade would he have been more willing to do whatever she wanted? If someone even remotely pretty showed so much interest in him would he just immediately go for it? He didn't think he was the kind of person to go with appearance first and think about the actual person second, but yesterday had been somewhat jarring on his mental state. 

He seriously had to get into a mindset of being in a relationship. Which meant no oddly interested hot chicks who also happened to be evil on the side. He was in love with Wade anyways, he didn't need anybody else. Although, Peter had to admit that Wade would totally have been down for a threesome, knowing him. 

That was just too weird to think about right now. 

"Peterrrrrr, are you with us, dude?" MJ asked, waving two middle fingers in front of his face before poking him in the side.

"Yeah yeah yeah- I'm alive! No poking!" Peter protested, slightly annoyed that even with the abs that came with being Spider-man he still wasn't invincible to MJ poking him in the side.

"No fantasizing about strippers when you're dating my bro." MJ warned, giving him an 'I'm watching you' motion with her hand as she said it.

"I wasn't fantasizing about strippers, and since when does Wade outrank me on the friendship scale?" Peter questioned, pouting a little at the fact Wade had overpassed him at some point.

"I've been hanging with Wade longer than I've been hanging with you guys. And it's not like I'm picking sides anyways, Wade better take care of you and you better take care of Wade, anything less and I'm coming for both your asses." MJ said smugly, all three of them unspokenly dropping the Blue Dragon conversation as they got to the more populated area of the trek to Wade's.

From there it wasn't much further, at least walking-wise. Most of the trip there involved taking the subway, which was somewhat unpleasant at the current time, but it also wasn't walking all the way across New York.

It was weird to think that today could be so simple, while tomorrow he'd probably be in-costume fighting people that were out of his ability-ballpark.

Wade was working over the plans for tomorrow, but Peter couldn't help but worry just how well tomorrow would even go with such little prep time.

The whole objective of tomorrow was to capture and arrest the five main leaders and as many of the lower tier members as possible, but the planning it took to find out where most those people would be and get together teams of superheroes in all the right places... that was difficult, and Peter didn't envy Wade or Mr. Stark in the slightest.

Although, on the other hand, it was kind of scary not being apart of the planning. Not knowing where exactly you'd end up and who you'd be fighting for the big day tomorrow was definitely something he'd be awake worrying about tonight.

No matter how much he trusted Wade's strategy skills, he still felt unnerved about being apart of a team that would be taking a well-rooted gang down.

The fact he'd been waterboarded by some of those gang members didn't really help either. Or the fact they were partly behind Aiden Burke's murder; you could say Peter wasn't really a fan. He let out a small sigh, wishing tomorrow would just come already so that he could get it over with.

It wasn't long before they reached Wade's apartment after exhausting most of their leading topics of conversation. Though, when it came to the three of them there was never really awkward silences or words left hanging. Between Ned's constant chatter, MJ's snarky comments and his own constant spew of nonsense, there was hardly ever silence to begin with.

"Alright, so we've got options. We can play games, watch movies, or work on the suit." Peter said, clapping his hands together as they dumped their backpacks by the coffee table, Ned already going to grab his laptop from his bag.

"And we also have homework. Soooo" MJ stated, letting the line hang in the air as she gave them both expectant looks.

"Sometimes I forget you're the Academic Decathlon team leader." Ned groaned, Peter silently agreeing before looking through his bag for the recent homework.

The whole day just felt somewhat lazy. With the light drizzle of rain outside and the cloudy New York weather, it just all seemed to set Peter at ease. It reminded him of those days he and Wade shared when Peter was recovering from that fall, where Wade would make them both hot chocolate and they'd cosy up in their respective blankets to watch cartoons and Netflix shows.

When the rain started to fall harder than before, MJ decided to cut them some slack and let them have a break from writing the really boring essay for English to instead watch a movie, all of them deciding to put on Princess Mononoke. 

However, then the movie ended,

and MJ and Ned went home,

and the rain was still relentless,

and he was left alone.

Of course Phillip still occasionally left his room to pop up around the apartment and steal food when Peter cooked dinner, but besides that, he was alone to worry about tomorrow and how it would go, among other things. Like how he and Wade would make this being a couple thing work, or how his last year of high school was going by faster than he'd thought it would and college was on the horizon, if he even decided to go. 

Peter sighed and fell back onto the couch, looking out the large window to the side, raindrops clinging to the glass as the sky slipped closer and closer to darkness.

Wade still wasn't back yet. 

Peter looked down at the phone in his hands, nearly lost amongst the blankets he had surrounded himself in. 

Should he text him? Call him? Ask where he was? Would it be too needy to call him? He was probably on his way back now anyway. Or maybe the planning hadn't gone as smoothly as they'd hoped and he was working on it, and in that case, would Peter be a distraction?

He looked back towards the window, his eyes catching a flash of lightning as the rain started to come down harder, the raindrops catching the light of the surrounding buildings as they fell. 

He looked down at his phone again as the thunder sounded in the distance.

Sent 19:38: Is it okay if I stay at Wade's tonight?

Received 19:39: That's probably for the best since I obviously don't want you walking back in this weather. Just use protection if you guys do anything.

Sent 19:40: Oml Aunt May no! Other people live here besides Wade you know. And you don't have to say that every single time I stay over here. That's just.. no..

Other people was pretty much just Phillip, and occasionally a drunk Weasel, but that wasn't really the point.

Received 19:41: Yea yea ;), just make sure you remember to get up for school tomorrow. Do you need me to drop some clothes off for you on my way to work?

Sent 19:41: No, I have some extras here. Thanks for the offer though.

Received 19:42: Alright, get some sleep tonight. Love you xx

Sent 19:43: Love you too xx

Peter sighed and tossed his phone on the coffee table, not even going to contemplate texting Wade again, too tired from worrying about everything else today. 

Tonight he just wanted to forget about everything going on and enjoy the sound of the rain hitting the glass with the thunder serving as his lullaby.


Wade shut the door behind him tiredly, completely drenched despite taking a car to Stark's superhero playhouse. Even just a few seconds out there and it was like you'd been dunked in a river.

Wade kicked his combat boots off by the door, quickly peeling off his sopping wet socks to throw them at the wall, sick of walking in wet boots. Why Stark had to insist that everything be so planned out was beyond Wade. Wasn't Iron Man supposed to be the compulsive one? Geez.

Although Wade had to admit that the last minute plan they had scrounged up was a pretty good one, at least in Wade's opinion.

They had set up teams of heroes for each of the top 5 in The Blue Dragon and already alerted the NYPD of the locations of the known underlings in The Blue Dragon, which pretty much left the rest of the job to actually fighting the evil mutant guys.

[Getting all those locations sucked.]

(Yeah but we already tracked a lot of them down.)

[Still didn't make it suck any less.]

"Well, at least this whole thing will hopefully be over by tomorrow." Wade pointed out happily, not even going to worry about every single thing that could go wrong. Because if everything went wrong then it was all Stark's fault, that was the best part of strategizing with other people. 

Wade paused as the pile of blankets on the couch moved. 

(Should we stab it?)

[Shoot it?]

He crept forward some, unconvinced that anyone would try to surprise attack him from a mess of blankets like that, which could only mean-

"Peter." Wade sighed in relief, glad the younger man hadn't tried going home with the weather as bad as it was.

He'd texted Peter this morning and been informed of him planning to use the apartment for the miniature nerd-fest that was happening, but he hadn't been expecting to actually see Peter before he went home. So this was a welcome surprise.

Wade gently pushed aside some of the blankets covering Peter's face, noting the younger man was completely out of it, drooling slightly on one of the throw pillows. 

(I hated that pillow anyways.)

[Yeah, I don't know why Phillip likes throw pillows. They're pretty much completely pointless.]

Wade glanced up at the tv that had been left on, although on mute as it continuously played episodes of The Walking Dead. Peter must have been trying to wait up for him but fallen asleep while he was waiting. 

(We should've gotten home sooner. Screw Stark.)

[Stark needed us for the planning though.]

(Stark would've figured it out. He's trying to ruin our relationship with Peter because he hates our guts!)

[I highly doubt that seeing as we're talking about Stark, and if Stark doesn't like you then it is very, and I mean very, apparent. I think he more enjoys picking on us in retaliation of not wanting Peter to grow up.]

(Great deduction and all, but I don't care.)

[Screw you.]

(I wouldn't screw you in a million years.)

"Ladies, ladies, we can all get along here. Let's all calm down and see if there's anything to eat in the kitchen before ripping out each other's throats." Wade said sarcastically, noting the empty plate on the coffee table that meant Peter had made something earlier.

Hopefully, there was leftovers, although with Phillip, MJ, Ned AND Peter all sharing it would be incredibly lucky if Wade got even a crumb left of that. First come first served.

(Nahhh, this is Peter, actual smol bean and sunshine ball cinnamon roll. He'd definitely save us something.)

[He does kind of seem like the type to wrap food in saran wrap with sticky notes on top.]


[Everything is debatable with you, I could point to a piano and you'd try to argue it was a loaf of bread.]


Wade did his best to tune out their bickering and instead turned to look through the fridge. And what would you know, there was in fact a Tupperware container with a large piece of lasagna in it, sticky note on top reading 'For Wade, not Phillip.'

[Bam. Sticky note type.]

(Everybody loves sticky notes, there is no type, just the human race.)

[Maybe they have a paper allergy.]

(Nobody has a paper allergy!)

While they fought, Wade thought over everything that had happened between him and Peter in the fairly short amount of time they'd known each other. After all, it had only been a couple months at most, yet when they were together it felt like it had been years.

Of course, there were times where it felt painfully obvious to them both about how little they knew about each other, but they were both trying, and the more they hung out together the more it was harder to believe they hadn't known each other long.

Wade sat down at the foot of the couch Peter was sleeping on, leaning back against the fabric to watch some poor fellow get brutally murdered on the TV, reheated lasagna in-hand.

It was a little crazy how domestic he and Peter were, but then again he didn't really know what he was expecting when it came to things like this. He was used to the fast-paced relationships and the quick stuff, and occasionally the slow burn week or two of getting to know somebody before deciding it wouldn't work out, but Peter shattered the previous standards.

It wasn't that they were a slow burn, and it wasn't that they'd gone quick with the whole getting to know each other thing, no, what made Peter so different was that he had no ulterior motive. He'd had no other objective than "friends" but as it got obvious they both wanted each other then the objective was still just "friends." Yet, it was also the more than friends, the longing to be closer than that.

He wasn't really sure how to describe it clearly. What they had between them was difficult to put into words.

Wade turned to glance at the sleeping Peter behind him, still looking as knocked out as before. He knew from experience that Peter sleeping like that meant he'd be sleeping for a while.

(We should draw on his face.)

[We should not.]

"No drawing on angels." Wade agreed, turning back to the show to watch Rick kill more 'walkers'.

(Would it be weird if we moved him to the bed?)


(NOT IN THAT WAY YOU PERVERT. I meant like sleeping. Because that couch may be comfy, but it is still not a bed.)

"Mm we'll see after this lasagna and after this episode. I don't want to wake him by moving him or anything." Wade murmured quietly, unsure if that was a perv move or not.

(Omfg he's your boyfriend, not a five-year-old child.)

[I dislike that analogy.]

(That wasn't an analogy, stupid.)

[Your moms stupid.]

Wade sighed as they broke out into yelling again, doing his best to stay focused on the show in front of him.

"Hmmwade..?" Peter asked tiredly, Wade moving himself to look at the younger man curiously, brown eyes barely open as they looked at him.

"Though' you were plannin'" Peter questioned, obviously still half asleep. Was he sleeptalking or was he actually conscious?

"Why don't you go back to sleep for a while?" Wade murmured softly, feeling ready to melt into a puddle at the adorableness that was a tired Peter Parker, with the ruffled hair, half-lidded eyes and that completely bewildered expression that was both entirely laidback and entirely confused. 

"But did you get tomorro' figured out?" Peter insisted, not even reacting when Wade put down his half-eaten lasagna on the coffee table to scoop Peter and his blanket nest off the couch and begin to carry him to an actual bed.

"Yup, everything tomorrow is all sorted out, so you don't have to worry your pretty little head about it." Wade said, smiling at Peter's slightly annoyed expression over the words.

Peter mumbled something unintelligible before seeming to drift back to sleep, his eyes shut now and his head lolled to one side almost as if he were dead. If it wasn't for the steady rise and fall of his chest Wade would've been genuinely worried.

[How on earth did we manage to score with someone so cute?]

(It's just a matter of time before he breaks up with us for someone in his league.)

[Oh quit your wailing, Peter seems oddly fine with our ugly mug and he likes us for our personality.]

(Nobody likes us for our personality.)

Wade once again ignored the boxes and instead focused on gently placing Peter on the bed, not wanting to cause anymore weird half-awake conversations.

More than anything he wanted to climb in that bed with the younger man and just sleep for several months,  but the lasagna that was still on the coffee table was still calling his name and his clothes were still wet with rainwater.

Wade sighed and walked back out into the living room, shedding his wet shirt and jeans as he continued eating.

(This is dumb. We should be in a bed with Peter right now.)

"We don't really have his consent for tha-"


"No permission." Wade said, getting up to put the empty Tupperware in the sink.

[Even I agree that this is stupid. I doubt Peter cares.]


"He doesn't like people invading his personal space." Wade insisted, not deterred by the boxes pestering. He knew his own boyfriend well enough to know that Peter liked to be in the know at all times, even if it was something like sleeping in the same bed.

If Peter wasn't expecting something then that was an automatic 'No.' and Wade could respect that. He had his own 'No's' after all, and he wouldn't want somebody trespassing on those either.

"Wade..?" Peter called from the other room, a quiet thump letting Wade know that Peter had most likely fallen either out of the bed or off the ceiling, which wasn't actually an uncommon thing either.

"See, now we can try to invade his personal space." Wade joked, walking back towards the bedroom to make sure Peter hadn't somehow damaged himself.


Chapter Text



Peter worriedly tugged at his web shooters as he waited for Wade to signal what they should do.

Everyone was currently in place as for the pre-plan, with Daredevil, Frank Castle, Ant-Man and Wasp standing by for orders to detain the invisibility mutant. Jessica Jones, Clint Barton and Tony Stark after Kit from the club. Doctor Strange, Natasha Romanoff and Phillip were after the leader who Wade was pretty sure was telekinetic, leaving the unknown mutant left up to Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson.

Which of course left Peter himself, Wade, Wanda and Johnny Storm to try and capture the mutant who happened to have the laser hands.

Peter didn't even know how he was going to be able to fight someone like that, and it wasn't like they'd exactly prepared him for this supposed epic fight. He had very little short notice as to who he was fighting, all he'd been told was, "Try and let Wanda and Storm do most of the heavy lifting."

How was that helpful advice?

Was he just supposed to sit around and do nothing? His webs were pretty much useless with her mutation, and trying to use his strength or fighting skill up close wouldn't end well for him. So just what exactly was he supposed to do other than cheer on Wanda and Johnny? This was stupid.

Currently, the four of them were waiting at the side of the warehouse by the docks, where laser hands was guarding the side entrance. They couldn't try for an ambush until Wade got the text, and then they'd have to lure her away from the door just in case she went to go back up her allies.

Everything relied on capturing everyone at roughly the same time to avoid anyone slipping through their fingers. Just one escapee from this ordeal could be the one spark that starts the forest fire again, and they did not want that.

"It can't be much longer now, right?" Wanda asked quietly, Wade nodding in agreement. "The deal with the big boss inside should be happening pretty soon. Barnes texted me saying the second party for the deal showed up a couple minutes ago, which means Stark should be going any second now." Wade stated, looking through a pair of binoculars down at laser hands girl.

"I'm surprised she hasn't seen us by now." Peter admitted, knowing they weren't exactly very discrete at the top of a warehouse, stalking her.

"Go time." Wade exclaimed, suddenly jumping off the side of the roof, surprising the rest of them at the suddenness of the movement.

"Hey, hot stuff! Woohoo!" Wade called, walking towards her as the three of them were quick to follow, slightly more wary than Wade had been.

Peter still wasn't exactly sure what to do when his feet hit the ground and he went to stand beside Wade. They were supposed to somehow detain her with the handcuffs Stark had specifically tailored to apprehend her, but in order to do that, they had to actually get close to her.

"I was guessing you nutcases would show up." She growled, her hands turning an angry red colour like that of a hot knife. 

I can't believe I'm missing school for this.

"Hopefully you haven't been waiting long then." Peter chimed, carefully moving off to the left to try and get behind her and possibly distract her enough for Wade to cuff her.

"Four against one isn't really fair, now is it?" She said lowly, eyes darting from each of them in a somewhat cornered animal style.

"Oh these guys? They're just here to cheer me on, my fan club." Wade replied happily, taking another step forward, still not drawing any weapons yet.

Wanda and Johnny were looking to Wade rather uncertainly, as was Peter, despite knowing Wade was a bit of a spontaneous and creative fighter. He had no doubts that Wade would be able to beat her in some odd way, but it was more as the how they'd cuff her safely that was the main issue.

None of them had seen her fight nor knew much of her fighting style, which left them in the dark somewhat.

However, drawing this out to be longer than it had to wasn't going to solve much of anything.

Several things happened at that exact moment, one being that the warehouse that they were all standing by suddenly creaked and seemed to collapse in on itself. The second thing that happened was that laser hands was spooked into action. The third, unexpectedly, was Peter being stupid.

He quickly webbed laser hand's legs and pulled her quickly towards them and away from the falling rubble and out of danger. However, this left him in a very vulnerable position.

Peter quickly dodged a red-hot fist flying in his general direction as the girl tried to find her balance, but instead fell to the ground.

"A thank you would have been politer." Wade commented with a roll of his eyes as if he couldn't believe her manners.

"Wade, would you do the honours?" Peter teased, gesturing to the girl who was already trying to melt the webs off of her legs, which was making a rather nasty looking sticky goo that still wasn't quite un-sticking.

"See, that wasn't so hard. And you were worried about it." Wade said playfully, starting to walk towards them with the cuffs in hand.

Peter yelped as the girl let out a frustrated yell and pulled a gun on them instead, open firing mainly at Peter, who was by no means expecting it.

It was as if the loudest, resonating bell had gone off in his head when bullets started coming at him, with all the hair on his body feeling like they had stood straight up. A very clear DANGER! kind of feeling.

It was as if time had stopped in that moment, and he could see the bullets speeding towards him, his eyes shutting automatically as he waited for the impact, knowing he couldn't dodge it in time with the last few milliseconds left.

But the feeling of bullets piercing his skin never came, and soon the screaming his senses were doing abruptly ended.

Peter opened his eyes to see Wade in front of him, arm hanging limply at his side with three other bullets scattered on the ground around him as though they'd simply dropped from the air. Had Wade shot the bullets? Had the bullets just decided they liked Peter and dropped from the sky?

"Did you just... punch a bullet?" Peter asked in confusion as Wade shook his arm in pain, "Don't mention it. At least it was only the one and not all four." He wheezed, quickly unsheathing a knife to dig the singular bullet out of his arm.

"That was a nice try, but I'm not losing another brother." Wanda said darkly, her hands glowing with chaos magic, walking forward slowly as the girl managed to free her feet again and stood up.

Laser hands quickly turned the gun on Wanda, but it didn't do much good, seeing as any bullet fired stopped before it even got five feet of her.

Peter watched in slight awe as Wanda forcefully brought the girl to her knees, the aura surrounding her swirling in the light like embers.

Sometimes Peter forgot Wanda could be this powerful. It was slightly terrifying to watch really.

"Wade, cuffs please." Wanda said, forcing the girl's hands behind her back, completely unable to move in her current state.

"Yay, go team!" Johnny said awkwardly, having not really moved from the spot where they'd landed.

"You were a good distraction." Peter offered lamely, unsure what to tell him. Honestly, this hadn't been as difficult as they'd all been expecting. But then again, it had been a 4 vs. 1.

They all paused for a moment when there was a loud booming sound from towards the rubble pile.

"Should we be helping them now?" Peter asked worriedly as Wanda cuffed their target, a dark look still clouding her features.

Peter was starting to wonder if Wade had purposefully assigned them the easiest target, especially seeing that they had four members on their team when most the others only had three or two. And their target definitely wasn't the 'bring the house down' type per say like the others apparently were.

They would most likely have to have a talk about this later, seeing as Peter couldn't have Wade constantly sheltering him from these sort of things while he was Spider-Man, but for now, it was a topic for another day.

"They should be fine. Our biggest concern at the moment will probably be getting people out from under the rubble. The people attending that deal or whatever were in there and are now trapped, which means we have to unbury them until proper help arrives." Wade advised, Peter nodding in agreement and feeling proud that Wade was thinking of the criminals this time. He wasn't tearing up. What? No way.

Focus Peter. More rubble.

He really hated the whole rubble thing, but people's lives could be counting on this, so he just sighed and followed after Wade and Wanda anyways, Johnny staying behind to guard their current prisoner.

Time to dig.


The rest of the day went by in a sort of haze for Peter, with the emergency team coming in some time to help clear the wreckage of the warehouse, and the small regrouping party at the Avenger's building. It just all seemed so...


It was just too simple. And Peter already knew Wade would most likely tell him to not push his luck and go purposefully looking for more problems, but if there was more then what they were currently seeing... then shouldn't they try to find it?

Of course there had still been problems with today's plans, after all, there was no such thing as perfection in this line of work, despite the fact Captain America existed. The girl from the strip club, Kit, or otherwise known as Akida Chokala, had managed to escape their capture and was still on the loose somewhere.

As for the Blue Dragon's leader, he had refused to say anything and had been fairly sedated so as to keep his abilities dampened, seeing as he was actually telekinetic like Wade had thought, that had been what caused the warehouse to collapse, as well as the unknown mutant apparently being an "anti-gravity" mutant. Honestly, what did that even mean?

"I think you broke the record for the longest time I've seen you sit still." Wade cut into Peter's thoughts suddenly, talking with his mouth full and once again reminding Peter that this 'regrouping event' was technically a social event and he should probably not be zoning out. 

"What about sleeping? That counts as sitting still." Peter interjected, shoving the feeling of an incomplete mystery to the back of his mind, for now.

"Nuh-uh, you don't sit when you sleep, you lay down." Wade argued, offering Peter one of the four bowls of orange chicken he'd gotten from the buffet line that Stark had organised for everyone after this morning. Peter happily took the bowl and fork that Wade handed him.

"Um, no. I've fallen asleep on your shoulder before, remember? I was technically sitting then." Peter pointed out, rolling up his mask to eat.

"Mmm, you win for now." Wade decided, shoving another large bite of orange chicken into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. 

"What do I win?" Peter asked, raising his eyebrows even though Wade couldn't see them. Peter was pretty sure they could both tell which expression the other had with the masks on anyways. 

"Oh don't worry, I'll give it to you later." Wade said cheekily, almost making Peter choke on the food he was trying to swallow. To be fair he'd set himself up for that. Whether or not it was on purpose...

"My God you two are absolutely disgusting. Get a room." Falcon complained, Peter having totally forgotten that he was even there, which was rather difficult. He must have really been zoning out earlier. 

"They're one of those honeymoon couples that never get out of the honeymoon phase." Bucky said flatly, Peter not remembering when Bucky had even gotten here, although Falcon and Barnes usually tended to follow each other around when they weren't following the Captain, who was currently in line getting food.

"You're just jealous because neither of you has the balls to confess your undying love to Captain America." Wade taunted, Bucky turning to give Wade probably the most confused and offended glare in history. It was as if he wasn't even sure why he was glaring, which was very hard not to laugh at.

"First of all, if I had the hots for Steve I wouldn't be a pansy about it. And second of all, why on earth would I be remotely jealous of you two of all people?" Sam said, crossing his arms. 

"Obviously cause I'm the cooler Wilson." Wade claimed, Peter noting that Sam was very much not going to take that one lying down.

"Cooler Wilson? What do you even do? Cause last I checked, you're never around when we're saving the world, oh wait, you were probably killing somebody's ex for a quick check. Am I right, or am I right." Sam said, levelling Wade with an unimpressed look, Bucky glaring again, but then, he hadn't really stopped glaring at Wade, so he just sort of continued glaring.

"Whatever you say. I'm just glad I don't fly around in a giant chicken costume. I mean honestly, even my worst fursona is better than that." Wade teased, sticking his tongue out at an obviously confused Sam Wilson.

"A furso- wha- You know what, I don't even know why I  bother arguing with you. You're about twenty times crazier than Winter's child over here." Sam said in exasperation, rolling his eyes while Bucky gave him an unamused glare. Peter was pretty sure 87% of Bucky was glaring.

"OOOooo we should start a crazy club! I'll send you the first invite." Wade exclaimed, Bucky not looking thrilled about being offered an invite to anything Wade was offering.

"Did I miss anything?" Steve asked, sitting in the chair to Peter's right and properly giving Peter a slight fanboy attack. No matter how long he knew Captain America it would still be the coolest thing ever having the guy sitting next to him.

"Oh nothing much, just these two's horribly romantic and mushy relationship. I'll save you the details, seeing as you're eating." Sam drawled, Peter just rolling his eyes beneath his mask. He and Wade weren't that bad. They weren't even trying to gross people out yet.

"Oh my #$%! it's actually The Captain America, defeater of Hydra and ex-husband of Tony Stark. I'm actually going to pass out, Spidey catch me." Wade exaggerated, Peter smiling slightly when Wade swooned against him, Steve Rogers looking slightly concerned and weirded out by the whole thing.

"We met before I'm pretty sure, at the first of the month lunch, and I was never... married to Tony Stark." Steve replied uncertainly, Wade waving him off, "I couldn't go total fanboy over you while Tony Stankin' Stark was there! He might get jealous and kill me!" Wade squealed, obviously enjoying himself way more than he should be.

"But now Bucky might kill you." Peter pointed out, Wade's masked eyes going wide. "Mr. Barnes Sir I would never dream of stealing your boyfriend! I promise I would never dare!" Wade exclaimed, Bucky just pinching the bridge of his nose in either disappointment or embarrassment while Sam just cackled in the background.

"Me and Bucky aren't--" Steve started, Wade shushing him, "It's okay Captain Rogers, I won't tell Stark. Your secrets safe with me." Wade stage-whispered, Steve Rogers not looking to be enjoying the conversation as much as the Wilsons were.    

"Wade, go easy on him, he's old." Peter teased, Steve giving him a betrayed and slightly annoyed look at the comment.

"Awwww but Pe-Spppideyyy" Wade whined, Peter noticing the almost slip up. To be honest he wasn't really sure Wade even needed to keep it a secret at this table. Steve Rogers already knew his identity thanks to Stark, and he was guessing Steve probably shared it with Sam and Barnes seeing as the three were like some sort of weird boy-scout slumber party trio. 

"Like I said, total honeymooners." Sam sighed, shaking his head in mild annoyance, although the slightly fond smile on his face let Peter know Wade had won him over. 

Everyone turned as they heard the sound of someone clearing their throat rather loudly near the side of the room. "If I could have all your attention for a moment, it would be much appreciated." Stark called, silence not taking long with only the fifteen or so people in the room.

"You all did a fantastic job today, and I know I called you all on rather short notice, so I'd like to thank you all for actually showing up first of all. But secondly, I would also like to inform you of what is being done about the current situation you were all involved in, which of course isn't really necessary, but I know some of you are slightly more invested than others and would prefer knowing." Stark stated, pausing to take a sip of his martini as Frank Castle crossed his arms in his chair. Invested was probably a good word for it.

"As of currently, the NYPD has arrested most of the Blue Dragon members for numerous crimes and human trafficking. We've notified Professor Charles Xavier of the possibility of requiring his services for those experimented on. The police are charging the Blue Dragon with some severe sentences that should keep those at fault in prison for several lifetimes, and for good reason. However, for the Wakandan fugitives, there is currently an agreement being worked out with King T'challa as to where they'll go. Thank you all for your help today once again, and hopefully, we'll all stay in touch." Stark said finally, giving one last smile before going to sit down at his table again.

Peter noticed he didn't mention Akida getting away, or the casualties of that collapsed warehouse. 

Don't go looking for trouble.

Peter bit his lip as he wondered just how much damage Kit could do by herself. She'd most likely rebuild from the ground up or seek out somebody else more powerful. But was it better to wait for it to happen or to go after her now?

It's too easy to leave it.

Peter thought about it on the drive back to his apartment, Wade driving him to May's despite Peter being able to swing his way there just fine.

Nothing in my life is ever just that easy. There has to be more to this than just the Blue Dragon.

What about Kit? Akida? What could she do by herself? She was a powerful mutant, she could easily find a spot in another big organisation like the Blue Dragon, and it wouldn't take her long to do it either. Although, now she'd be more careful, probably go out of the country, and definitely out of New York where it was superhero central. Which meant that Peter really couldn't do much.

"What are you thinking about?" Wade asked somewhat cautiously, which sounded odd to Peter's ears.

"I'm thinking that all this was too easy. Nothing is ever just this easy and I feel like we should be watching out for Godzilla or something." Peter sighed, leaning back in the passenger seat.

"We kind of already had the Godzilla thing, his name was Evyn Egerton and Tony has him locked up somewher--" 

"Yeah, but more than Evyn. Like something else is about to happen." Peter protested, unable to shake the paranoid feeling.

"Peter, we got the bad guy. Now we just have to go back to waiting for the next one. That's what we do, remember?" Wade asked jokingly while still somehow bordering serious. 

"Still..." Peter trailed off as they pulled up to his apartment, Peter knowing he should probably just drop it and say goodbye. He still just felt... off.

"Babe, hun, my snookums, please just relax and take the well-deserved break." Wade teased, Peter rolling his eyes at the pet names before leaning in to kiss his boyfriend.

"If something bad happens to the city tonight then I told you so." Peter stated matter-of-factly, Wade leaning in for another kiss.

"You can tell me in person tonight then." Wade said with a smile that Peter could only describe as fond, and that made him way more happy than it probably should have.

"See you tonight then." Peter grinned, leaning in for one more kiss before grabbing his backpack and exiting the car, not sure if he was hoping for something terrible to happen tonight or not. Well, who was he kidding, it was Saturday tomorrow, one way or another he'd probably end up at Wade's apartment sometime around 3 in the morning.

Wade honked the horn repeatedly as he drove off, most likely angering all the people in a one-mile radius except Peter, who couldn't help but smile as he opened the door to his apartment building.



Chapter Text

Playlist of the SEQUEL NOTE:

And of course, the one song that I accidentally left out of that one stripper playlist, but i don't want to go back through and try and put it in the right spot on my To Drown Youtube playllist so im just going to put it here so i can add it at the bottom of the playlist: 

and ill throw in this song i was listening to while i was trying to finish my homework (i still haven't done it, i finished writing this book instead.) so enjoy this angsty sleeping with sirens song:

full book playlist (125 songs whoops):

^i thought that link said uncle ben for a second and i was like »TRIGGERED«


SO, if you thought I was "hinting" at another book after this one then you was right. 

I'm writing a sequel called Foreign Oceans which is basically going to be the Freaky Friday of a lifetime. Hope you guys are ready to meet my version of Tom Holland (Tom if you're reading this and my OC version of you turns out to be nothing like you then I'm sorry and you should definitely pm me and tell me how to make my character better.) And of course a very confused Ryan Reynolds will be there too. But just so we're clear, I don't ship Ryan Reynolds and Tom Holland or anything like that. If I'm shipping Ryan with anyone it's his wife or Andrew Garfield, or like a three way. BUT ANYWAYS, 

I'm writing a sequel, you should read it, im sure it will be good. idk seeing as at this moment i havent written it yet, but yeah. (AUthor from the future here, and yeah, I think its pretty good so far lol)

Basic intro/summary introduction/thing:

Peter Parker always knew he had the worst of luck, it just came with being a Parker. However, he was not aware that bad luck could imply getting body-swapped into an alternate version of himself called Tom Holland. As for Tom Holland, this is the coolest thing to ever happen to him other than being told he was getting to play Spider-man on the silver screen.

^ yeah i like literally just wrote that and it's a first draft, so go easy on me. the book will be better i swear.  tbh the book is probably already written for you guys who are reading this in like 2019 or 20, SO GO READ IT.  


And if you're from the past like myself, then this is how I'll be posting the sequel. Because as of 03/07/18 (July 3rd if you're American), I haven't finished writing Foreign Oceans (FO) yet. So I will most likely finish writing it, then go through the first draft of editing, and then after that I'll take a small week-long break to write other books and go back through to do the second editing of FO, THEN I will do the third editing and post each chapter as I'm done editing it. So I won't set an exact date for when FO will start being published, but you can probably expect at least a month long wait, maybe 2 if my schoolwork gets worse (yaaay c++ and sociology ((everyone told me sociology was supposed to be freakin easy, why tf do I gotta write a billion essays? Like i like writing and all but essays were a hatechild of Satan and Hitler.)) so schoolwork first then book.). Month-long wait at least until I start posting FO. If I start posting chapters before that then give me angry comments about not doing my hw or something. 


Aight guys, Past-future me here again. I just put this book through a word counter and I thought i'd just share it with you lol:

 I just put this book through a word counter and I thought i'd just share it with you lol:

Yeah, I think I need to work on my run on sentences a bit

Yeah, I think I need to work on my run on sentences a bit. Just a bit yeah? >.<

And my west coast 'likes' and 'justs.' rip. 

But hey, kudos to you if you got this far, that's a lot of freakin words to read my dudes X3 

Hey, future-future author here again. Just got done editing everything and put this thing through word counter again, and this was my results if you guys were interested: