The first time Jungkook met Yoongi was at a local coffee shop around two in the afternoon. The strong aroma caught him by surprise as he had made his way down the street, his sleep deprived mind walking into the building without a second thought for anxiety to seep in. It took him some slow cautious steps to get to the counter, but when he found it he let out a soft sigh of relief. Mentally, he patted himself on the back. There wasn’t any scene of him tripping or crashing into any thing like he had often imagined would happen.
You’re gonna be embarrassed a lot but over time it won’t matter any more. It’s just something you’ll get used to.
Jungkook’s Doctor’s words echoed in his mind. It definitely meant a whole hell of a lot coming from someone who still had his vision. “A small coffee please?” He mumbled to whoever was at the counter--god he hoped there was someone there, he could’ve sworn he heard some foot movement coming from in front of him--and dug in his pocket for his card.
If you fold your money is specific ways, you can get out the right amount without a problem.
Sure, Jin but what if the wrong amount was folded into the wrong shape and he got stuck in an embarrassing situation where the person asking for the money had to tell a blind man that they hadn’t given them the correct amount?
Sometimes Jungkook’s anxiety really got the best of him. And he knew this too, that was why he was going to stick to using his card until he actually felt confident in his skill to hand over the correct amount of change.
“Room for cream?” A woman’s voice questioned from in front of him. He brought his head up, mouth open slightly as he tried to figure out what the hell she was asking him. “…For your coffee? Did you want me to leave some room for some creamer?”
“Oh, yes please.” Jungkook rushed. He imagined she probably offered him some kind of smile. Or maybe she was wearing an annoyed face, who knew? Well, everyone else in the fucking cafe that was looking at this interaction probably.
He pushed the thoughts aside mumbling thanks to the woman as she handed over his cup. Jungkook slowly stepped to the side, his free hand brushing along the counter as he made his way further into the cafe. He could hear the sounds of conversation from the other customers in the place, while Jungkook took his time to find a booth, praying that he wasn’t about to sit down next to a stranger on accident. He had no fucking idea what was going on in his mother’s mind that made her think letting her newly blinded son walk around a city by himself was a good learning experience for his fresh disability but even when he had the right to, he still couldn’t find it in himself to argue with her.
Jungkook walked past a booth that had the soft sounds of typing and took a chance with the one just after it. If getting coffee was this hard to do by himself, he didn’t want to think about the other challenges he was going to come across. He sighed to himself, popping the lid off of his cup and allowing a bit of peace wash over him at the familiar smell of the brew. Jungkook softly patted around the table towards where he hoped the cream to be, knowing they usually left a powered dispenser out at each booth. He felt along all the complimentary condiments but didn’t come across the familiar tall dispenser that he knew should be there.
Cool. This was fine, he would just drink it as it was. They put some sweetener in this before hand, don’t they? Taking a sip, Jungkook’s lips instinctively went up in disgust. God it was so bitter on its own, and he had an entire cup of it. He swallowed the liquid and pursed his lips together. Maybe he just brushed over the container completely on accident. It wouldn’t hurt to double check, would it?
Second time through and there was no such luck. He would add sugar but the last time he tried to do that back at the hospital he’d poured a disgusting amount of salt into his drink and that was a taste he didn’t ever want to experience again.
Jungkook let out a heavy sigh. There was only one thing he could really do and that was to throw his coffee away and leave. But if he threw this much coffee away there was a chance it would get all over the contents of the garbage bag and oh what if it ripped and the poor person that had to change it had to deal with an entire cup of old coffee garbage juice sitting in the bottom of the trash can? He didn’t have the heart to do that. So there was one other option and that was coming from the soft but rapid typing from the booth behind him. There was definitely someone there but they were very clearly deep in their work if the speed of their typing was anything to go off of.
Jungkook swallowed a lump in his throat, trying to ignore his anxious inner voice that was ready to display to him how all the ways this interaction could go wrong to him. What if the person typing had headphones in? What if they didn’t hear him? What if they intentionally ignored him and Jungkook was left just sitting there repeating himself like an idiot? What if-- “Um, excuse me?” He cut his own thoughts off.
The typing slowed, but it didn’t stop. There was a deep grunt of acknowledgement towards him that threw Jungkook for surprise but he tried not to stumble.
“D-do you uh, sorry--” He cut off to clear his throat. “There’s no creamer here, is it okay to borrow yours?”
“Go ahead.” Was the quick reply and dear fucking lord Jungkook’s heart dropped into his stomach. He licked his lips not moving an inch.
“Okay.” He replied but it sounded like a tense whine. Great. Wonderful. He didn’t need cream, but dear lord the poor person that would change the coffee garbage juice can-- “Sorry, where?”
“Right there.” Another quick reply.
He could die now and he was sure that would be better than this hellish experience he was going through. Jungkook didn’t even think the anxiety-fueled inner voice of his would’ve come up with a situation as uncomfortable as this one. Maybe if he just asked one more time, he could get this person to just.. pass it to him. Maybe he could just ask to have it passed to him. “…I-I’m sorry but wh--”
“--What are you, fucking blind---?” The voice snapped but it cut off sharply.
Jungkook swallowed a lump in his throat and effectively wanted to choke on his own spit then. There was a very tense silence between him and this coffee stranger, the typing they had been doing completely frozen.
Finally the stranger spoke. “I am so fucking sorry oh my god.” He stumbled. Jungkook suddenly remembered how his doctor had explained to him about a previous blinded patient that told him it’d be easier to pick up on people’s emotions based on the inflections in their voice. He could tell this poor guy who he rudely interrupted over fucking coffee creamer was thoroughly embarrassed.
Jungkook coughed to clear his throat for the second time in this horrible interaction. “It’s okay, I’m new to this too.” The joke sounded way sadder out loud than it had in his head.
“Uh,” The guy exhaled. There was some shuffling from his end, making Jungkook effectively flush. Did he just scare him away? “Here.”
Jungkook reached a free hand out, patting around the air blindly before feeling a hand gently find his wrist and push his own in the right direction. Jungkook felt relief flood him when the familiar glass container touched his skin, not even caring about the sticky syrup on the side of it. He felt himself beam when he grasped it, turning back to his booth with it and carefully finding his coffee again.
Then he froze up.
How the hell was he going to know when to stop pouring cream? What if he sat there and poured more than he thought he did and he got coffee all over the table? And then what if when he went to go get napkins, he knocked over his entire cup and it ended up all over the floor and the booth and the table and the staff would have to come out with a mop bucket and clean it up for him and he would just sit there apologizing repeatedly and unable to help?
“Uh, sorry--” Jungkook started, turning back to the man typing behind him. “This is embarrassing but I-I don’t-- could you just tell me when the creamer gets to the top?”
The typing stopped and there was silence between them. Jungkook really wanted to die. There was no reason getting coffee should ever be this hard. You’ll get a feel for things, I promise Jungkook Yeah, well as far as he was concerned Jin could go eat a bag of nails and come back to him with better advice.
That was too much, Jin didn’t deserve that.
“Do you.. Just want to sit over here?” The voice offered, Jungkook’s emotions going through an entire rollercoaster at the thought before it settled on relief.
“Are you sure?” Jungkook asked just to give the guy an option to back out if he was only trying to be hospitable. Silence.
Jungkook figured the guy must’ve given him a visual answer because he quickly cleared his throat and seemed to correct himself. “Yeah, yeah it’s fine. You’ll just ask me to help when you get a refill anyway.”
Jungkook beamed, carefully putting the lid back on his coffee--he wasn’t risking spilling it even if he was only moving a few inches--and taking the creamer with him. He slowly settled into the seat, coffee and creamer placed down in front of him. He heard the sound of the seat moving across from him and soon after he listened as the lid was popped off his coffee and the rushing of the creamer spilling into following. “How much creamer do you take?”
“Until it’s full.”
The flow of creamer continued and then the glass rim of the bottom of the dispenser hitting the table sounded. Jungkook listened to the sound of a piece of silverware hit the edges of the cardboard cup, a slight scrape to it each time it circled in the liquid together. His cup skid across the table as it was returned to him. The stranger reached for his hand again, pulling it to the edge of his cup and letting go only when both of Jungkook’s hands clasped around it. Jungkook felt along the rim for the opening and twisted the cup accordingly. He brought it to his mouth and took a cautious sip, but smiled at the much preferred taste.
“Good?” The stranger asked.
Jungkook nodded. “Yeah, thank you.”
“Yup.” He popped his lips on the p, silence settling in between them. Jungkook was distracted by the relief of being able to enjoy his coffee to feel any awkwardness between them. The stranger must have sensed his comfort because the sound of his typing started again and for a while Jungkook thought that maybe his day wasn’t going to be that bad.
The stranger typed fast and he typed a lot. Jungkook also picked up on what the sound of massive backspacing was, a repetitive button mashing noise reaching him quite frequently. He wondered what it was the guy was working on, but he was perfectly content with not knowing if it meant enjoying the nice atmosphere between them.
There was a heavy sigh after what must have been a good ten minutes of silence between them. Jungkook heard the sound of a laptop closing and he felt his heart sink at the thought of his sort of not so horrible coffee mate possibly leaving him for the day. Or well.. for his life since he wasn’t ever going to see the man again----or at all technically. “I’m going for a refill, you need one?”
“Oh, sure.” Jungkook replied, removing his hands from the sides of his cup. He really didn’t but the answer sort of fell out of his mouth before he could actually think about it. He didn’t bother correcting himself.
Jungkook listened as this stranger took his cup and then slipped out of the booth, the sound of his footsteps light as he moved out of earshot. He let out a heavy breath and slumped in his seat, instinctively reaching in his pocket for his phone. Jungkook turned his head down and mentally smacked himself. Can’t fucking distract himself with his phone because he couldn’t fucking see. Forget about the Blind Assistance app on his phone, he didn’t have headphones and he wasn’t about to let his phone yell to the entire cafe what updates his online friends might have had for him. If they had any, they probably wouldn’t be good to be said out loud anyway.
He felt like an entire hour had passed by before the stranger came back with their drinks. There was a sudden fear that maybe someone other than his original coffee stranger had sat down at their table, but that quickly left him when said stranger sighed as he sank into his seat. He didn’t ask Jungkook about the creamer again, just poured it for him and did the same gentle hand guidance he had with him previously.
This man had nice hands, Jungkook mused.
“So, you’re new to uh.. Being blind?”
Jungkook cupped his hands around his coffee, nodding his head. “Yeah, I had an accident at my work. UV bulb exploded on me.”
“Oh. Oh that’s good.” Before Jungkook could react to his words, the man was quickly correcting himself. “Fuck, no I didn’t mean--Like it’s good it’s not fuckin’ cancer or some shit, right?”
Jungkook took a moment to process his words but when he did he found himself giggling. It felt nice not being the only one stressed out about the right thing to say. “No, it’s not cancer or some shit.”
The stranger clicked his tongue and Jungkook would’ve like to imagine the expression he was wearing was one showing how much of a little shit he had been for repeating that. He took in a deep breath.
“Sorry for bothering you.” Jungkook apologized, tapping the side of his coffee cup. “I didn’t think getting coffee was going to be difficult.”
“Wow, so you’re like brand new to this blind stuff?”
“Yup,” Jungkook popped the p much like this guy had done earlier. “I’ve been in and out of the hospital the past few months but today’s the first day I’ve actually gone anywhere.”
“Ah,” His voice was very soothing and deep. Jungkook was easily becoming comfortable with his presence. He was definitely going to tell his mom about this because it was a huge victory in his book. “It’s not rude to ask about it, is it?”
“Uh, I don’t think so?” Jungkook responded. “I don’t know I’m not really familiar on blind culture yet.”
Jungkook’s shoulders tensed for a moment when he heard the man laugh in response to his words. “Blind culture?” He repeated like it was a ridiculous thing to say. “I’d say fuck whatever that is and just answer shit based on how you feel.”
“Oh. Right. Cause I’m blind now.” Jungkook mulled over the words and then shrugged. “Well, you saved me the horror of having to throw away my coffee or risk overflowing it with creamer so if it was, I would say we’re even.”
“...Horror of throwing away your coffee?” The man repeated. “Man you’re easy to please aren’t you?” Jungkook’s ears burned in embarrassment, and it had to have been noticeable because the man laughed at him again. He let out a sigh and took a sip of his own coffee. His cup tapped against the table again and then he spoke. “Sorry for snapping earlier, I was irritated with what I was writing when you asked.”
“Oh no, it’s fine.” Jungkook assured. “What were you writing?”
“Shit for work.” The stranger responded nonchalantly. “Which I need to be getting to actually.”
“Oh.” Jungkook’s voice died out a bit at the end, and he kicked himself for it. He didn’t need to sound that desperate for a conversation partner. Actually a coffee-creamer-pourer probably fit better.
“Don’t sound so disappointed, the staff’ll get you a refill if you need it.”
“Right.” Jungkook tried to put something other than disappointment into his voice. He felt the man’s fingers tap against his own on his cup and pulled them away slowly in confusion. A slip of paper--A napkin actually--was pressed into his hold and the stranger was packing his things away. “Name’s Yoongi by the way.”
“Jungkook.” He listened closely to the shuffling of the man as he readied himself to leave, Jungkook’s gut trying to push him to ask something out of him to get a form of contact from him. Instead he tightened his grip on the napkin Yoongi had given him and then sat there as he listened to his creamer supplier leave. “See ya later.”
“Okay.” He mumbled long after the man’s footsteps left his hearing range.
“--Then he just gave me a napkin and left. I’m so fucking mortified.” Jungkook flopped backwards onto his bed, taking his phone with him. There wasn’t really a point to him to waste time video calling anyone now but Jimin and Hoseok had been persistent about needing to see his face and make sure he was okay.
“A napkin?” Hoseok repeated. “Did you throw it away?”
“Kookie where is that napkin?” Jimin reiterated, sounding much more concerned about that stupid napkin than Jungkook’s own mortification.
“Why are you two so fucking concerned about the napkin?” Jungkook questioned, but still rolled himself off the bed to dig it out of his jacket pocket. He knew he still had it because a dumb part of him clutched the stupid thing up until his mom showed up and dropped him off at his apartment. (He decided on not telling her about Yoongi. The victory of having a conversation with a stranger slowly died out the longer it took for his mom to come and get him.)
“Because you idiot--” Hoseok started, a smack noise following his insult. “--I bet you any money he probably left you his number or something on it.”
“Why would he do that when he knows I can’t see?”
“Because he sounds equally as stupid as you.” Jungkook didn’t need to see to know that Hoseok was nodding his head in agreement with Jimin’s statement.
“I’m gonna go ahead and say this fella is a panicked gay.”
“Ugh.” Jungkook groaned, retrieving the napkin from his jacket and then dropping himself back on to his bed. He set his phone down, lying flat on his stomach with his elbows propped up as he unraveled the napkin. Then he held it up in the direction he thought the camera was angled at. “See? Stupid crumpled napkin. He probably gave it to me because I mentioned spilling my coffee.”
“OR-” Jimin started. “--He gave it to you because there’s clearly something written on it!”
Jungkook immediately jumped up to that. “What?” He questioned, sitting up straight and grabbing his phone. “What’s it say?”
“Uh, it’s kind of--” Hoseok made a whiney kind of noise. “Turn it around.”
“No the other way,” Jimin chimed in. “Now it’s upside down--Yeah, now just flip it---There!”
Hoseok cooed. “Hold it a liiiittle bit closer to the camera.” Jungkook followed as instructed, wishing the two would hurry up and tell him already.
“Oooh!” Jimin giggled. “Kookie I think he liked you!”
“What’s it say!?” Jungkook croaked.
“He wrote ‘If you ever want more coffee’ and then his number.” Hoseok read out.
“I’m gonna text him,” Jimin immediately decided, shuffling cackling through Jungkook’s speaker.
“What?! No you can’t do that!” Jungkook protested.
Jimin sighed. “Oh come on, I just want to find out if this guy is cute or not. I mean, the most we got out of you was that he had nice hands.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t mean anything.” Hoseok agreed.
“Guys, please.” Jungkook pleaded. “He could be way out of my league and you’re cutting my chances if he is.”
“Yeah but the chances of that are slim.” Jimin scoffed. “I mean Kook, I don’t know if you’ve seen yourself lately but you’ve upgraded from a snack to a full course meal.”
“Handsome Kookie!” Hoseok agreed.
Jungkook rolled his eyes. “Can’t say I have.” He huffed, deciding on sparring them the details that his neighbor had been coming over and helping him pick out his outfits so he didn’t accidentally walk around with his shirt buttoned up wrong or god forbid two totally different fucking shoes. Namjoon supposedly didn’t seem to mind at all.
“Awh, don’t be like that.” Jimin cooed. “Can we at least twitter stalk him?”
“---Too late.” Hoseok cut in. “Oh, Kook you’re way out of his league.”
Jimin busted out into a laugh, one that Jungkook could visualize from the ways he always laughed before. “He’s not that bad, don’t listen to him.”
“What’s he look like?”
Hoseok and Jimin both went quiet aside from the deep hums the elder of the two gave. “Well…Uh.. Hm.”
“He’s cute.” Jimin admitted and Hoseok sounded in agreement. “He... Kind of looks like a cat…?” He offered.
Jungkook’s face scrunched in confusion. He couldn’t picture it, especially not with the voice he heard earlier. “Well.. Whatever, tell me his number.”
“I’m texting you his contact.” Jimin mumbled, going the extra step to help Jungkook out.
Sure enough, his phone pinged off with a new message. “Thanks… Don’t actually text him though, please?”
Jimin let out an over dramatic sigh, his bed sheets shuffling as he flopped onto them. Hoseok giggled, but reassured Jungkook they wouldn’t. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t. We’ll store it for safekeeping though.” Jungkook would bet money that Hoseok had just winked after saying that.
“I don’t even know if I trust you with that.” Jungkook groaned. “Isn’t it super late for you guys out there? Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”
“You expected us to sleep after hearing about what happened?” Hoseok chuckled.
“There’s no way we would miss out on any drama in your life.” Jimin added.
Jungkook just let out a sigh, but smiled fondly. He wished these two weren’t on the other side of the fucking world sometimes. Jimin’s loud yawn gave away that they were definitely passed their normal bed time and as much as he didn’t want to do it, he still had to part with them. “Well, go to bed. I need to spend the next 8 hours of my life trying to work up the nerve to text this guy.”
“You can do it!” Hoseok cheered to which one of them clapped as well.
“Just be forward with him! No beating around the bush!”
“Alright, alright, I got it.” Jungkook smiled. “Goodnight!”
“Night!” The two sang in unison until the sound cut off and a loud deadline beat echoed signaling the end of the call.
Jungkook kept his phone extended in front of him, knowing Jimin’s message was sitting right there and urging him to not chicken out on this. He was able to ask this guy for creamer, there should be no issue with dropping him a message, right? Jungkook had already gotten through the hardest part of communication with a stranger.
He sucked in a breath, storing Yoongi’s contact from Jimin’s message (with no struggle this time with his phone’s assistance program) and then proceeding to drop his phone on his chest. He heaved out a breath, smacking his lips together just for something to do. How was he supposed to respond? Should he just say hey? Should he go off of what Yoongi left him with? Why was this so hard?
Jungkook grabbed his phone again and decided that he needed to summon his inner Hoseok and just say the first thing that came to mind.
Except…Nothing came to mind.
“UGH!” Jungkook groaned to himself, everything he came up with not sounding right at all. Maybe if he pretended it was Hoseok or Jimin that had left him that message it would be easier. He mulled to himself for a while before finally settling on a sentence that took way too long to come up with. He brought his phone closer to his face. “Text Yoongi…” He paused, hesitating on his sentence. “So when is the next time I can get some coffee?”
His phone dinged, accepting his command and notifying the message had been sent. Jungkook dropped his phone onto his chest and took in a deep breath, holding it in as it started to sink in that the guy from the coffee shop who had originally snapped at him really left him a napkin with his phone number on it.
Yoongi: oh holy shit u actually got my number
Yoongi: i thought for sure u wouldve thrown the napkin away I wasn’t thinking
Yoongi: is it cool to text? Would it be easier to call???
Jungkook: haha text is fine :) I’m not completely hopeless
Yoongi: lmao okay
When Jimin made the joke about Yoongi being a panicked gay, Jungkook thought it might have been more appropriate to put him into the disaster gay category. Yoongi didn’t hesitate in asking Jungkook out on a first date, even if he might have stumbled over his words and all but blurted it out. It was adorable even with the slur of curses he dropped. Yoongi seemed to do that a lot when he was nervous. That wasn't what made Jungkook think of him as a disaster though, it was the date itself that labeled Yoongi as a disaster to Jungkook.
It wasn’t until the two had been standing outside the movie theater that Yoongi realized just how flawed his idea for a first date had been. “Fuck.” He cursed. “Shit fuck dammit god fucking fuck.”
Jungkook could only laugh at his panic. He took a hand and cautiously reached for Yoongi’s sleeve. “Let’s go in anyway.”
“You can’t fucking see.” Yoongi felt the need to point out. “And I took you to watch a movie.”
“Yoongi, it’s fine.” Jungkook tried to reassure. “Let’s go sit down.”
Yoongi sighed in defeat, but led them into the theater anyway. He needed to think his dates out more thoroughly. (After the movie Jungkook, couldn’t stop himself from making a smart ass comment. “Well it sounded good.” Yoongi shoved him. )
He needed to but he still didn’t. For a while they continued to have what Yoongi considered disaster dates while Jungkook considered them hilarious and in all misuses of the word--perfect. Between the baking disaster of their second date (“Yoongi, we’ve been over this. I can’t read.” Jungkook pointed out. “Oh shit fuck right. Okay, you gather up the ingredients then?” Yoongi suggested.) the reading disaster of their third (“I thought maybe you could read some of my works?” Jungkook was really starting to wonder if Yoongi forgot that often about his sight. “Or--yeah actually never mind. I didn’t think this through.”) and the camera incident on their fourth date, Yoongi really managed to make an ass of himself every time.
It took until the fifth one for Yoongi to finally come up with something that didn’t require sight. He took Jungkook to listen to a pianist play and while the melodies had been absolutely beautiful and entrancing in their own way, Jungkook couldn’t stop himself from leaning over his seat to Yoongi and whispering in his ear. “You know.. As much as I’m enjoying this, I kind of miss the part where you would make an ass out of yourself for me.”
Yoongi dug his tongue into his cheek as he slowly turned to stare at the shit eating grin sprawled over Jungkook’s face. He couldn’t stop the playful scoff that passed his lips. “Well fuck you wanna go do some sight seeing then?”
Jungkook’s grin turned into a full on beam, a giggle bubbling out from his chest. “Okay.”
Yoongi and Jungkook started dating six months after meeting. While Jungkook was relatively the more indecisive one between the two, he was still the one that worked up the nerve first to actually officially ask the other out. It was pretty anti-climatic given how riled up Jungkook had been before he did so.
The pair had been curled up together on the couch at Yoongi’s place, the sound of the ceiling fan whirring above them the only noise between them. Occasionally Yoongi’s fingers would drift over the pages of the book he was reading, the soft flip of a new page lulling Jungkook into a comfort. All night he had been worked up about trying to ask Yoongi the one thing that had been on his mind for the better part of a few months now, but in that moment it felt like all of that stress had left his body.
He listened to the noises around him, the soft squeaking of metal as the ceiling fan spun above them, the ticking of a clock that Jungkook remembered Yoongi explaining was the head of the black sailor moon cat and even though he couldn’t tell the time on it, he had to have it anyways. He listened to the occasional rumble of a car driving by just outside the window. He listened to the way the wind would sometimes catch the curtain with a whisper. He listened to the way Yoongi’s free hand brushed through his hair, his bracelets occasionally clinking against one another as he did so.
If he listened closer he could hear the light thrum of Yoongi’s heart beat, a steady repetitive noise that Jungkook could fall asleep to. Sometimes Yoongi would smack his lips without realizing it. Sometimes he would softly clear his throat. Sometimes he would take in a deeper breath than normal, or he would let out a heavy sigh. All of it Jungkook was sure he could fall asleep to.
“I want this.” He mumbled on a sigh, turning his head just a bit more into Yoongi’s chest. “Us.” He added on for clarification. There was no fear in his voice, no anxiety lacing his tone, just his open heart confession. If his feelings weren’t returned, Jungkook was fine with that. His feelings could stay in this moment--this peaceful and surprisingly perfect moment.
The hand running through his hair stilled making Jungkook feel like time had frozen just for him. The wind whispered to the curtain, the fan squeaked above him, the clock ticked.
“Okay.” Yoongi replied. His fingers moved through Jungkook’s hair again, the loving touch laced in it as it had been before. Jungkook felt himself smile.
Jin had been right when he told Jungkook he would get used to things over time. Jungkook still got anxiety over doing certain things, but he had made a ton of progress since his time running into Yoongi at the coffee shop. He could manage to order and make a coffee on his own, he learned how to handle his cash without any anxiety-induced thoughts telling him he was wrong, he could go to and from in the city without much trouble--he was getting used to things.
Jungkook still had trouble with some things but most of those things he had Yoongi to help him with. Despite his first impression of the man, Yoongi really was patient and kind with him. When Jin suggested learning braille, Yoongi went out of his way to learn as well. He bought books for the both of them to read, spending all the free time he had with Jungkook and teaching him everything he could. Jin suggested a seeing-eye dog for Jungkook but he didn’t feel he needed one with Yoongi at his side. Yoongi helped him with things that he sometimes didn’t need help with. Jungkook probably should’ve found it irritating but there was something so endearing and genuine about the help Yoongi gave him. He didn’t feel belittled by it. He didn’t feel like Yoongi didn’t believe he could do things on his own, he felt like Yoongi just wanted to take care of him and for Jungkook that was a really nice feeling to have. Not to mention, he did rather enjoy being taken care of the way Yoongi did for him.
Jungkook didn’t know if Yoongi stressed about how he acted towards him or if it really was as natural as it felt. Yoongi cared for him when he wanted and he let Jungkook lead when he felt like he needed to. When they first slept together, their night had been filled with subtle kisses and light trailing touches. Jungkook felt every part of Yoongi that he could, trying to paint a picture of the man he’d never seen before but had fallen so hard for.
Yoongi didn’t just let it happen, he encouraged it. He often reached for Jungkook’s hand and pulled it towards him, letting him see as well as he could. Yoongi kissed his fingers often, he kissed his hands, his neck, his face, he drowned Jungkook in all the feelings he could and Jungkook’s heart swelled in admiration for the man.
Jungkook loved him.
He desperately loved him and he might have sworn Yoongi felt the same way but it was too soon for them to tell. He just hoped his movements and actions could express it for him. Jungkook tried to pour all the love into his touches that Yoongi did, but he never quite knew how much it affected the man when he couldn’t see his reactions.
He covered him in love bites and drowned in the moans he drew out of him when he had Yoongi on his back in the man’s bed. “Kook, Kook, Kook--!” He could’ve spent eternity in the peace of Yoongi’s living room but he could die happy to the sound of the man in his bedroom. “Ah---fuck that’s it--keep doin’ that fuck” Jungkook loved Yoongi but he was too scared to say the words. He tried so hard to say it with his actions, he tried so hard to leave Yoongi as satisfied as Yoongi often left him. Jungkook grabbed hold of Yoongi’s hips and rocked himself into him, feeling the way his body clenched up and hoping that Yoongi was experiencing the same pleasure that he was.
Jungkook came with a low moan, Yoongi already limp and worn out underneath him. He stilled, hanging his head over his lover as he tried to catch his breath. His eyes were closed, thoughts trying to soak up the moment of the after glow. He listened to Yoongi’s heavy breath, his legs dropping from their place around his waist.
Yoongi’s skin felt hot. Jungkook wanted to imagine the flush that would be covering his skin, but it was so hard to visualize. Jimin had once described Yoongi as surprisingly pale in comparison to himself, but Jungkook couldn’t see it. He couldn’t see it because he didn’t think he could do justice to Yoongi’s visuals with just a description alone.
His thoughts were interrupted when he felt Yoongi’s hand slip around his neck, pulling Jungkook’s head close to his. Yoongi bumped their foreheads together, pressing a soft peck to Jungkook’s lips. “Move in with me.” He huffed, still trying to steady his breathing.
Jungkook smiled. He kissed Yoongi back and kissed him again and continued to kiss him until the smile spread on Yoongi’s lips was too difficult to kiss. Jungkook pulled away, taking a hand and running it along Yoongi’s cheek. “Okay.”
“You two are so fucking cute. I want to find my soulmate.” Jungkook shook his head but he knew his expression was betraying him. Jimin sighed heavily into the speaker.Yoongi had stepped away to make the both of them coffee and Jimin didn’t waste any time fawning over their relationship like he started to do so frequently nowadays.
“Shut up, you’re gonna jinx us.”
Jimin giggled in response, but decided to drop his teasing. “How’s the move going?” He questioned.
“Pretty good. Namjoon has been helping us a lot.”
“I wouldn’t call it help.” Yoongi called out from the kitchen.
Jimin busted out into a laugh while Jungkook sighed. He agreed with that to an extent. “He’s broken a few things. Nothing too important yet.”
“Yet.” Jimin repeated. “Still, that’s super nice that he’s helping out though. Not many neighbors do that nowadays.”
“You know the only reason we ever talked is because of my mom, right?” Jungkook mentioned. “The week after my accident, she was making such a mess out of my room trying to get it ready for me that he had to ask her to be quiet so he could sleep.”
“Oh your poor mom,” Jimin sighed. “She’s so sweet but she was such a mess when that happened.”
Jungkook laughed. “Yeah, Namjoon said that when he asked her to be quiet she just broke down crying and he didn’t know what to do. It’s hilarious imagining it.” Jungkook was currently digging through one of the boxes that had safely made its way into Yoongi’s apartment. He couldn’t tell what the hell the contents were supposed to be. “Just some dude standing in his pjs in the middle of the hallway with a woman sobbing on him at almost 3 in the morning.”
“It seems like the only way to meet anyone in your family is to make an ass of yourself when you do it.” Yoongi returned to the couch with two mugs in hand. He gently placed Jungkook’s on the coffee table and sat down with his own. Yoongi took a slow sip and then leaned over Jungkook’s shoulder to look at the box he was currently trying to go through.
“I still think you hold the crown for that one, Yoongi.” Jimin laughed.
Yoongi closed his eyes like he was trying to block the memory out. It only caused Jimin to laugh harder, Jungkook smiling himself to the sound. “So no Hoseok this time?” Yoongi questioned, effectively changing the subject.
Jimin turned his phone towards the empty and messy bed next to him for Yoongi to see. He brought it back to his face and pouted. “Nope. He had to wake up early to watch over one of the kids. The kid’s dad works two jobs and I guess he didn’t have anyone that could watch his daughter that morning.”
Jungkook lifted something out of the box, fingers gliding along the texture and expression confused. Yoongi watched him, staring at the item in his hands. It was a trophy of some sort. He didn’t remember seeing it on display in Jungkook’s apartment so he wondered if it was an item that got shoved into a closet. “Hoseok really just goes in early for one kid?” Jungkook questioned, cocking his head in confusion as he struggled to figure out what he was holding. Yoongi reached forward and righted the item in his hands, pushing his fingers to feel along the engraving on the base of the trophy.
“You think that’s bad? He’s agreed to personally take care of her for the weekend since her dad has some super important work thing to do.” Jimin rolled his eyes as he combed his fingers through his hair. “She’s supposed to be really well behaved but she’s like, three.”
“What the fuck am I holding?” Jungkook blurted as he repeatedly ran his fingers over the engraving on the base. It must have rubbed away in some places.
Yoongi set his mug down on the coffee table next to Jungkook’s and then plucked the item from his hands. He turned it over and read the plaque to him. “Outstanding Athletic Achievement Award.”
Jungkook’s shoulders dropped. “How did that make it here?” He sighed, hand moving towards the coffee table and patting his way towards the cup of coffee waiting for him. Yoongi watched him, smiling fondly as Jungkook grabbed Yoongi’s mug and drank it without hesitating. He didn’t bother correcting him, the two sharing the same preference for coffee anyway.
“Ugh, you two are so cute,” Jimin dropped his chin on his hand, pouting. “Kook you should see the way he stares at you, it would make the meanest people in the world smile.”
“Don’t you have work to be getting ready for?” Yoongi quickly snapped, embarrassed at being called out like that.
Jimin giggled while Jungkook’s fingers wrapped tightly around the mug in his hands. He bit his lip to keep from smiling but it felt impossible after Jimin had gone and said something like that. What he wouldn’t give to just be able to see a single expression on Yoongi’s face. “Oh he’s blushing so hard,” Jimin cooed. Jungkook heard the fabric of the couch squeak as Yoongi leaned forward from his spot, reaching over towards his laptop. “Hey, hey, hey! Wait don’t hang up on--” Yoongi hit the end call button and flopped back in his seat.
“Oh no, the call dropped.” He commented, causing Jungkook to laugh.
“If he didn’t have to get ready for work, you know he would be calling right back.” Jungkook brought the coffee to his lips and took a slow sip, humming as the warmth from the drink traveled through him.
A minute later and there were hands ghosting over his, snaking the cup of coffee out of his grasp. Jungkook let go of it with a smile, listening to the sound of the mug knocking softly against the table. He chewed his lip as Yoongi moved close to him, his hands finding their way in his own. Jungkook couldn’t stop the giggle from trickling past his lips, Yoongi pulling Jungkook’s hand towards his face. He pressed a soft and loving kiss to the back of his hand, Jungkook instinctively rotating it so he could brush his fingers over Yoongi’s lips.
Jungkook’s mouth fell open as he tried desperately to paint a picture with the details his fingers gave him. His lips were smooth and plump. His skin was soft, his face was round, his nose was smaller than his own but Jungkook just couldn’t visualize it. He struggled, clinging on to every detail his brain gave him and trying so hard to see what everyone else could see. The pads of his fingers ran along the edge of Yoongi’s lips the lingering feeling of almost being able to picture it teasing him. Yoongi brought his hand over Jungkook’s searching fingers and held it gently as he pressed a kiss to them.
Jungkook’s hand went limp in his hold as he heaved out a dejected sigh. His lower lip twitched in a frustrated and cute way. Yoongi wasn’t going to point out how glazed over Jungkook’s eyes were at the moment, the light quiver of his lip alarming him. He saw the frustration come to Jungkook way more than the man knew. He wondered if Jungkook was aware how telling his faces were. Yoongi gently squeezed Jungkook’s hand, hoping to express how much he wanted to be there for him through his struggles. He may not have to understand what he was going through but he could understand his frustration.
“I wish I could see you.” Jungkook’s voice was tight, Yoongi’s heart clenching at the sight of him sounding so desperate.
“I don’t,” Yoongi chuckled, hoping to lighten his emotions. “You would probably run the other way if you saw me.”
Jungkook let out a breathy laugh that died quickly. A smile lingered on his lips, his fingers brushing along Yoongi’s chin. He slowly brought his mouth closed, feeling Yoongi’s warm breath against his finger tips. The ticking of the sailor moon clock broke into his attention, as well as that squeaking ceiling fan. The window wasn’t open this time around but he was sure if it were, he’d be able to hear the sounds of the wind slipping in. If all these sounds were what made Yoongi’s place as comfortable and beautiful to him than he couldn’t imagine the man outside of that description. “I bet you’re beautiful.”
Yoongi chuckled, dropping his head down. He licked his lips, feeling shy knowing that Jungkook wholeheartedly meant that. He took in a breath, bringing his eyes up to stare at the man in front of him. His heart swelled as his eyes flickered over all of Jungkook’s finer details. He may not have known the man before he lost his vision but he was sure it shouldn’t have been possible for someone to be as beautiful as Jungkook was. He had a charm to him that Yoongi devoured and he loved everything about him. He was beautiful both inside and out.
Yoongi leaned forward, hands finding their place on either side of Jungkook’s neck and lips pressing into his. He pulled away barely even an inch and smiled. “Okay.”
“Jeon Jungkook!” Jungkook startled to the loud greeting, not having heard his doctor even step into the room. The door shut with a heavy click, the flap of cloth accompanying it. “It’s been awhile. How have you been?”
“Hello,” Jungkook greeted. He bowed his head, having long gotten over the anxiety of whether or not he was facing the correct direction. No one was going to correct a blind person on that, and according to Yoongi he usually got it right when he focused enough on the sounds anyway. “Things are good.”
“Mm,” Jin hummed in acknowledgment, the sound of papers reaching Jungkook’s ears. He must have been flipping through his folder. There was some shuffling around and then the squeak of a chair as Jin took a seat and rolled towards Jungkook. “Arm please.” Jungkook held his arm out in front of him, listening as Jin pulled the velcro pieces of the pressure meter apart. Jin pulled up the sleeve of Jungkook’s shirt to his shoulder, wrapping the material around his bicep. “How’s the girlfriend?”
“What?” Jungkook scrunched his face in confusion.
Jin was quiet aside from the pumping of the pressure meter. He huffed after a beat passed. “Sorry, your mother said you were dating someone.”
“Oh,” Jungkook cleared his throat, not sure how to respond to his question. He hadn’t really mentioned to anyone outside Jimin, Hoseok and Namjoon who specifically he was dating. “Uh…it’s…”
“Boyfriend?” Jin corrected with a cock of his head.
Jungkook visibly relaxed at the nonchalant tone to Jin’s voice, feeling much more comfortable about the topic. “Yeah.” He grinned. “And it’s good. I moved into his place a month or so ago.”
He might not have been able to see it but he could hear in Jin’s soft laugh how he was smiling. “That’s good to hear.” He deflated the pressure meter and pulled it off Jungkook’s arm. “Blood Pressure is same as always. Nice and healthy.” He stood from his spot and went back to Jungkook’s file, scribbling his information down where it needed to be. They were quiet for a bit as Jungkook patiently waited on him to catch up on what he needed to.
“Okay!” Jin beamed as he clicked his pen. “You ready to get your eyes scanned?”
“If you really think there’s a point to it.” Jungkook commented. “I mean, you said before you didn’t think they could be healed.”
“Well that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t check,” Jin cooed, metal clanging together as he either ran into something or retrieved a heavy object. “If the tissue shows signs of healing then we could have something to work with you know.” Jungkook groaned when he recognized the sound of a squeaky wheel, knowing Jin had a wheelchair at the ready for him. Jin slapped a hand against the blue plastic like fabric of the backing. “C’mon. In the chair you go.”
“I can walk, you know.” Jungkook complained, still hoisting himself into the seat regardless.
“Hospital rules. I’m not about to get fired because you don’t want to swallow your pride. Now let’s go.”
Jungkook shook his head but he didn’t say anything back to him. Jin wasn’t the one that ever did the eye scan on him, normally it was some new person Jungkook had never heard of before. Occasionally he would recognize the voice of a woman but they didn’t talk enough for him to properly remember her name. It’d strike him as familiar after hearing it but if you asked him to repeat it, he couldn’t.
This time it was someone completely new. There was that bubbling anxiety Jungkook had where he liked to make himself as invisible as possible around new people. He would do anything he could to not inconvenience the people around him, but that was kind of hard to do with being a patient at a hospital.
The wait took a while but the scan itself was fast. The doctor that ran the scan on him was quiet and brief, her voice monotonous. She filed away some paperwork and then released Jungkook. “Your doctor will be in touch with you once the results of your ultrasound are in.”
Jungkook bowed his head in thanks before being escorted back towards the lobby. It didn’t take long before familiar fingers were tugging at his sleeve and grabbing his attention.
“You were in there for a while.”
“I told you you didn’t have to wait.” Jungkook smiled.
“How’d it go?” Yoongi questioned, not even entertaining the idea of leaving Jungkook at the hospital by himself. Yoongi’s fingers slipped in between Jungkook’s and he gently led them towards the exit of the building.
“Fine, I guess. It was just a check up. Won’t know anything until they get the results back.”
“What uh.. What would the results be about?” Yoongi questioned clearly unfamiliar with the process.
Jungkook shrugged. “To see how the damaged tissue is doing. It hasn’t done any healing since my accident so I’m not getting my hopes up.”
Yoongi was quiet, his hand instinctively squeezing onto Jungkook’s. Jungkook thought nothing of it, squeezing it back in return. If Jungkook could see, he might have been alarmed at the expression on Yoongi’s face, but the man made sure to not let his expression transfer into anything else. He led the two of them outside and took his time with leading them both home. Jungkook didn’t seem to mind, the fresh air and new sounds were a nice change.
Jungkook’s eyes were gorgeous to Yoongi. Even though they had both taken on a cloudy appearance and even though it used to freak him out sometimes when Jungkook would accidentally be staring directly at Yoongi, he absolutely loved them. Jimin and Hoseok got to sending Yoongi plenty of pictures of Jungkook before his accident where his eyes had life and shined so bright. He wasn’t saying that Jungkook’s still didn’t shine, but there was an obvious difference of course. That didn’t stop Yoongi from loving them.
Jungkook used to try desperately to keep his eyelids closed whenever the two got intimate, but Yoongi did well to kick that habit of his. He’d pepper kisses to his face, whisper how much he loved them in his ear, brush finger tips over his soft skin--anything to build up Jungkook’s confidence.
“Yoongi…” Jungkook said on a sigh after completely sinking down on his cock. He threw his head back, lips parted on a silent moan. Yoongi’s hands were over his bare chest, eyes eating up the sight in front of him. The two of them were barely even awake, streams of light cascading into the room through the thin gaps in the blinds. Dust particles drifted about, highlighted by the warm radiant beams. Yoongi watched the shadows shift along Jungkook’s body every time he moved, the morning light giving Jungkook an ethereal glow.
Yoongi’s lips parted as Jungkook rolled his hips in a lazy motion, his heart skipping as his pleasure spiked. His fingers drifted along Jungkook’s body, watching the way the sunlight crawled over his skin and how it changed as his hands got in the way. He rested them on Jungkook’s hips, a sigh escaping him as Jungkook continued to ride him.
He wanted Jungkook to understand just how beautiful he really found the man but Yoongi didn’t know how to put it into words. He was so fond of him but a part of him was scared that he wasn’t doing enough to show it. Yoongi let his head fall back against the pillows, his eyes staring up at the ceiling. He brought his hands into a loose grip on Jungkook’s hips, encouraging his movement and rocking his hips up into him a bit as well. Jungkook always did so well to make him feel so good and Yoongi was terrified he wasn’t doing enough in return.
“Mm,” Jungkook hummed, hands dropping to Yoongi’s chest for support. Yoongi brought his head back up, watching how Jungkook fell forward, blush deep on his cheeks. His lips were parted, but his eyes weren’t closed for once. Yoongi stared into them, the cloudy details making his heart twist. He wondered if Jungkook ever would’ve gone this far with Yoongi had he never lost his vision. He wondered if the two ever would have met if he hadn’t lost his vision. He wondered just where he would be without Jungkook. “--Ah…Deeper?” Jungkook breathed out, his voice quiet and tight.
Yoongi sat up, Jungkook’s hands sliding from his chest and to his shoulders to keep situated. He readjusted the two of them so that his back was against the headboard and Jungkook was upright in his lap. Yoongi brought a hand to Jungkook’s chin, holding him still so he could lean forward and press a soft kiss to his lips. He barely pulled away, the sunlight crossing over the upper half of Jungkook’s face and shining into his cloudy eyes. Yoongi took a moment to simply stare at the finer details of his expression. His skin was so soft, his eyes were still so big and his lips were small but plump. Everything about him was so perfect to Yoongi.
“...Yoongi…?” Jungkook sighed, his hand cupping the side of Yoongi’s neck and brushing his thumb along the skin.
“I love you.”
Jungkook went still, the silent gasp barely passing his lips at the confession. Neither of them had said the words aloud yet, and even though Jungkook felt the same way he hadn’t quite been prepared to hear it first from Yoongi.
Yoongi’s expression didn’t change, his eyes admiring the glow to Jungkook’s skin. His heart thumped heavy in his chest, the sudden fear of unrequited feelings almost strong enough to make him panic.
Jungkook’s lip twitched, a smile taking over his features. His thumb started to brush against Yoongi’s neck again.
“I love you, Jungkook.” Yoongi repeated, watching the way his lips parted further into a bright smile that even the morning sunlight couldn’t compete with. Yoongi’s hand dropped from Jungkook’s chin, resting the both of them on his hips again.
“I love you too, Yoongi.” Jungkook replied, knocking his forehead against the other’s. He kissed Yoongi again, their lips flickering off of each other’s like the flame of a candle. Jungkook wrapped his arms around Yoongi’s neck, reminding him of what they were doing with a roll of his hips.
Yoongi sighed a light moan against Jungkook’s mouth, parting with relief bubbling through him. He couldn’t express to Jungkook how much that meant to him, he just hoped the other understood. His heart swelled and stomach tightened--although that could’ve been for other reasons. “I love you.” Yoongi repeated, his eyes drifting closed as he started to move himself into Jungkook. “I love you so much.”
“Okay.” Jungkook sighed out on a moan, dropping his head into Yoongi’s shoulders. The smile in his voice made Yoongi’s heart swell. He wanted Jungkook to understand his feelings and when his voice sounded like that he thought maybe he did.
“Hi, is this Jungkook?”
Jungkook passed the book he’d been trying to read off to Yoongi, standing from his spot on the couch. “Uh, yeah it is.” He already knew it was Jin on the other line but he didn’t feel like they were close enough to skip over greetings.
“Hello!” Jin cheered, his professional tone dropping for a moment as he greeted Jungkook. “I got your lab results in the other day and wanted to let you know about them.”
“Okay.” Jungkook commented, giving him the cue to continue. He could hear Yoongi shuffling around on the couch, probably putting the braille book away.
“So you remember how I discussed with you before about the chances of the tissue around your eye healing?”
“From the ultrasound we received on your eyes it looks like it’s going to be possible to get you in for a transplant. There’s plenty of donated corneal tissue, so you wouldn’t have to be put on a wait list. If you want to talk further about this option, I can make you an appointment where we can go over the full process in person.”
Jungkook felt like his brain stopped working as Jin spouted all kinds of terms out. His breath caught in his throat as the entire point of Jin’s explanation started to sink in. “A-are you saying I’ll be able to see again?”
The movement from the couch halted completely after the words passed his lips.
Jungkook heard Jin chuckle on the other end. “Yes, that is exactly what I’m saying.”
“This isn’t a joke? This is for real?” Jungkook spouted.
“Kook?” Yoongi called out softly from where he was seated.
“Did you want me to set up an appointment?”
“Wh- Yes! Yes, when’s the soonest I can be there?”
“Kook, shouldn’t we maybe talk about this--”
“--I don’t care what time either, if Yoongi’s busy I’ll get Mom to drive me.”
Jin let out a full laugh at Jungkook’s eagerness to get in and then listed off a date and time for him. It was two weeks from today. “That’s just going to be the consultation process. We’ll figure out a date for the surgery as soon as we go over everything with you, okay?”
“Okay!” Jungkook was smiling like a child, giddy and and beaming at the idea of being able to see again. Jin passed off a goodbye and Jungkook pulled his phone away with excitement coursing through his body. “Yoongi!” He jumped, making his way back towards the couch. Jungkook reached a hand out instinctively expecting to find Yoongi’s there to guide him but all he was met with was air. Jungkook patted around for a second before his thighs bumped into the arm rest of the couch and he maneuvered around to sit. “Yoongi?”
Jungkook’s heart twisted. There was something wrong, his tone sounded forced. Jungkook decided to shake it off. “Jin said I can get my vision back, I’ll be able to see again.”
“...” Jungkook found himself in silence, the excitement previously found in his bones morphing into worry. “That’s great, Kook.” Yoongi’s voice was strained. It was soft, and low but it didn’t sound true.
“...What’s wrong?” Jungkook asked, reaching a hand out towards where Yoongi’s voice was. He found him, sitting on the other side of the couch right where he had been when he stood up. Jungkook’s hand lay flat against Yoongi’s thigh but Yoongi felt so stiff. “Yoongi, I’m going to be able to see you.” He cooed, hoping to coax whatever worry out of his boyfriend.
“What if I’m not what you want to see?” Yoongi’s voice cracked on the last word, the sound so broken and pained that Jungkook felt a piece of himself shatter just hearing it. His throat tightened as the thought pierced him, sudden anxiety sinking into him at the greeting of something he never imagined to be a problem.
Yoongi pushed Jungkook’s hand away, the piercing in his heart hurting further like he had been rejected. He stood from his spot, Jungkook hearing him shift his weight on either foot for a moment. He had never heard Yoongi like this before and he didn’t know how to act. He couldn’t find himself to say anything, his throat tight.
“I’m going to bed for the night.” Yoongi commented and god was he trying his best to sound indifferent but Jungkook could hear it in his voice. He could hear the insecurities that Jungkook never had to witness before, he could hear the self loathing that he only ever had to kiss away before, he could hear a disgusting emotion seeping out of Yoongi through his struggling voice and it absolutely broke him not knowing how to fix it.
“...” Jungkook listened as his feet pattered across the living room, he listened as Yoongi tried to cover in the gasp of a breath with his hand, he listened to the creak of the bedroom door as he closed it but didn’t quite close it all the way. He listened to the whine of the bed as Yoongi laid down in it. He listened to the ticking of the Sailor Moon clock in the corner. He listened to the rattling of the ceiling fan above him. He listened to the wind tangling in the curtain by the open window. He listened and suddenly Jungkook found himself listening to darkness. “Okay…” He mumbled into the silence, hoping that it could comfort the loneliness that suddenly took presence in their home.
Things changed suddenly and Jungkook found it the most difficult thing in the world to deal with. He would rather relive his first experience ordering coffee blind than to try and live through another day unable to understand what pain was really plaguing Yoongi. He wouldn’t talk to him and it made Jungkook suddenly feel so unbearably lonely even though Yoongi was always right there. He felt like he existed, and that was all he could be bothered to do.
“Yoongi…” Jungkook chewed his lip, the clacking of the keyboard slowing down but not completely stopping. Yoongi hummed in acknowledgment to his words, but Jungkook somehow took that as rejection of the conversation before it had even started. “Can we talk?”
The keys continued to clack, Yoongi’s fingers dancing across his laptop like what ever he was working on was his biggest priority at the moment. “I’m trying to work, Kook.”
“Trouble in paradise?”
Jungkook wished he could say that was an understatement. He was seated on the floor in his and Yoongi’s bedroom, his back lined up with the bed. Jungkook dropped his head against the mattress and sighed. “He won’t talk to me.”
Hoseok sighed heavily on the other line. Jungkook vaguely registered the sound of a giggling little girl in the background but chose not to question it. If he thought long enough he would’ve been able to remember Jimin mentioning dating the dad Hoseok went in early for, but it was the farthest from his mind. “Have you tried cornering him? He sounds like he’s not one to open up about his feelings very easily.”
“I thought with me he could.” Jungkook mumbled. “I just--” Jungkook’s voice shot up an octave just thinking about the pain that seemed to lace Yoongi’s words every time he spoke. “--I hate seeing him like this.”
“Awwh, Kook don’t cry…” Hoseok cooed, his voice soft. He was sure if they weren’t separated by a phone and a hell of a long distance, Hoseok would’ve scooped him into a tight embrace at that moment. “It’s okay, this is just a steep hill you gotta get over.”
“I know,” Jungkook’s lip was quivering, his words coming out as a high whine that he couldn’t control. He dropped his head down in a poor attempt to hide his face. Jungkook sucked in a stuttering breath, pressing his lips together to keep from sobbing. He thought he had more to say but his thoughts were empty.
“Talk to him.” Hoseok’s voice was firm, but reassuring. “Don’t let him brush you off this time, okay? If he still ignores you then Yoongi’s gonna have to deal with a very pissed off Hobi and you can ask Jimin just how bad that is.” Jungkook tried to smile at his comment but he didn’t think he succeeded based on the sigh Hoseok gave him. “I have to go now, but let me know how it goes!”
“Okay…” Jungkook mumbled, listening as the call ended and silence filled the too big apartment. He tried to be comforted by Hoseok’s words but knowing that Yoongi was going to come home from work and continue to keep his walls up around Jungkook hurt him. He wanted things to be okay and he wanted to coax Yoongi into talking to him but Jungkook was so bad with words and he was so scared of what words Yoongi would have for him. His emotions didn’t make sense and his heart was heavy and all Jungkook wanted to do was to return to that peaceful night where he laid against Yoongi and listened to how much life his apartment had for the two of them.
Jungkook brought his knees up to his chest and buried his face in them. He cried in the silence of the apartment and hoped he could figure out why Yoongi was so adamantly avoiding him.
“Did you stop loving me?” The words fell from Jungkook’s lips before he had time to think them over but he had been hurting so much over the past week and nothing made sense to him anymore so his brain just came up with all kinds of scenarios that could fit into the gaping hole of an explanation towards Yoongi’s attitude.
Jungkook got all too used to the silence, his fingers twisting together loose strands on the hole in his jeans. He sat in his seat on the couch, Yoongi next to him previously typing away. The clacking of the keyboard stopped immediately after the words left his mouth, and anxiety swam through Jungkook’s body. He was scared of what Yoongi had to say, he was scared if it wasn’t true because if it wasn’t true then why wasn’t he talking to him and what was happening that was making Yoongi hurt so much and why couldn’t Jungkook fix it? And if it was true, Jungkook didn’t even want to imagine Yoongi uttering that he stopped loving him. The thought alone was enough to make his eyes water.
“What?” Yoongi gasped, a very clear shock in his voice.
“D-did you stop loving me?” Jungkook repeated, voice quivering as he spoke around a sob.
“No, Kook--God no, no, no,” The laptop was dropped onto the coffee table and the creaking of the couch gave hardly enough warning of Yoongi’s presence on him. Yoongi’s hands found their place on either side of his face, turning him to where Jungkook assumed Yoongi was. “Why on earth would you think that?”
Jungkook’s hands found their place on top of Yoongi’s, his lower lip trembling. His heart swelled at the love in Yoongi’s touch, not realizing how starved from it he had been. “What did I do wrong?”
“What?” Yoongi’s touch faltered a moment. His thumb brushed lovingly against his cheek. “Nothing, you haven’t done anything wrong.”
“You’re a horrible liar, Yoongi.” Jungkook sighed, his hands ghosting down Yoongi’s arms. “I can hear it in your voice. Why aren’t you talking to me?”
“...” Yoongi was quiet, his hands dropping from either side of Jungkook’s face. They fell to his lap, Yoongi completely unaware as to how attuned Jungkook was to his emotions. He opened his mouth to speak but found it incredibly hard to put words to the feelings that had been dwelling inside him ever since he overheard Jungkook’s phone call. Yoongi let out a heavy sigh. “I haven’t said anything because you won’t like what I have to say.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes I do.” Yoongi retorted. “You won’t.”
“...that isn’t a good enough reason to keep it from me.” Jungkook commented.
Yoongi’s shoulders dropped, his heart heavy with the feelings he had been harboring. “You’re right.” He maneuvered his hand to lace with Jungkook’s, taking a moment to stare at the man next to him. His nose was red and his lips were parted, a pained expression on his face that Yoongi really wanted to kiss away. He didn’t feel like he deserved to do that when he knew the words that were going to leave his mouth would only make his expression worse. “Kook…” He didn’t want to be the cause of any pain for Jungkook but simmering in his own dark feelings made him completely unaware of the growing pain in the man he loved. Yoongi took in a deep breath, never expecting to have this conversation in the first place. “I don’t want you to get the surgery.”
Jungkook’s expression remained the same for all of a few moments. Then his eyebrows scrunched together and his head cocked to the side. The hurt in his features lingered but confusion took the most residence there. “You---What?”
“I’m scared that when you come home from that surgery, you’re going to see me and I’m not going to be what you want me to be.”
“...” Jungkook didn’t say anything as the words sunk in. He was quiet, processing them slowly, taking each word from Yoongi’s mouth and turning it over in his head until he concluded that the man really said what he had. “You…” Jungkook pursed his lips together before continuing. “You really think I’m that shallow?”
“No, fuck--” Yoongi sucked in a deep breath, looking away from Jungkook as he tried to think of a proper way to answer. “--I don’t think you’re shallow at all, I just…” Yoongi huffed, pondering on his choice of words. “I never thought I was good enough for you in the first place and I just feel like when you see me… You’re gonna be disappointed with what you got.”
It took Yoongi a long moment for him to bring his eyes up to look at Jungkook, but when he did his heart twisted painfully. Jungkook’s jaw was clenched tight, his whole posture tense. Yoongi could tell his words hurt him and it made him ache. He was desperate to find something to ease the tension in him, his mouth moving faster than his brain. “I’m not stopping you from getting your surgery Kook--”
“--Kinda feels like you are.” Jungkook cut him off, turning his face away from Yoongi. He started bouncing his knee, anxiety taking over his features. Jungkook pulled his hand away from Yoongi’s, shaking him off and scrubbing at his face.
Yoongi’s heart spiked, quickly retreating his hand like he had just been burned by a flame. His eyes were glued to Jungkook, watching as his emotions tore at him from different angles and knowing he was the root cause of it. “…I’m sorry.”
“I-I need to think about this.” Jungkook mumbled, standing from his spot and leaving Yoongi on the couch.
Yoongi turned his head up to him, still ready to help him even though he knew Jungkook knew his way around the house at that point. “Okay.” He choked, voice tense.
Jungkook turned the handle of the shower off, the water halting its downpour on him. He wiped the water from his face and shook off his hands, reaching out to the towel hanging on the rack outside the tub. He dried himself off, rubbing the towel through his hair and letting out a heavy sigh. His consultation was in about an hour and he managed to get Namjoon to drive out to pick him up for it. He knew it had been a slap in the face to Yoongi by doing that but Jungkook couldn’t help but think it was for the best.
He wouldn’t say that him and Yoongi were okay. They were barely on speaking terms and Jungkook was partially to blame. He couldn’t wrap his head around what Yoongi had said to him and how he thought that his words weren’t going to weigh on Jungkook at all. He felt like Yoongi was going to hold him responsible for his own lack of confidence and that Yoongi had been taking advantage of his lack of sight the entire time they had been together. It made Jungkook feel as though all the emotions he poured into their relationship really hadn’t been received like he thought they had.
Jungkook stepped out of the shower, making his way to the counter to brush his teeth and get ready. Now that the water stopped running, he could make out the sound of murmuring from where he guessed was the living room. Namjoon must’ve gotten here early.
Jungkook wiped the towel over his face again, the steam from the shower too hot for him now that he was standing in it. He twisted the doorknob and pulled it open a crack to let it air out. Jungkook discarded the towel on the ground, reaching for the place his toothbrush had always been and going about brushing his teeth.
“--fucking selfish, I know I am but I don’t know how to change that.”
“Yoongs, you’re just letting all your bad thoughts get to you. You know Jungkook would never run away from you over how you look.”
Jungkook slowed to a stop as he was brushing his teeth, his attention snapping on to the voices just outside the bathroom.
“It’s not just me I’m worried about. I’m scared this whole place isn’t going to be what he wanted. He’s always talked about how much he loves this apartment but wait until he actually sees how big of a fuckin’ dump we’re living in.”
Namjoon sighed heavily, the sound of the couch sinking in as he most likely took a seat. “Do you really think he cares about that?” Yoongi didn’t say anything but Jungkook didn’t miss the sniffle he knew came from him. “I’ve known Jungkook about as long as you have and he straight up adores you, Yoongi. And you need to give yourself more credit, you’re pretty cute.”
“Thanks.” Yoongi’s tone was thick with sarcasm, but it still made Jungkook’s heart twist. “I’m so scared I’m going to ruin this…”
“You will if you keep acting the way you do. He needs support right now, not more worry. And if you’re gonna make him worry at least be willing to talk to him. His fuckin’ internet friends blew up my phone the other night saying they wanted to pay me to fight you.”
Yoongi chuckled. “Sounds like them.”
Namjoon scoffed. “I honestly don’t want to know how they got my number…” He trailed off, letting out a sigh. “Either way. This is a big step for both of you. You might be the one putting out more trust in this situation but he’s had his life revolve around you for the past year. He’s been willing to trust you all that time, you’ve gotta be able to do the same for him.”
Jungkook finished brushing his teeth, dropping his toothbrush back into its spot and intentionally making more noise than needed to alert the two in the living room of his presence. After slipping his clothes on, he stepped outside the bathroom, their conversation long done. He knew he shouldn’t have eavesdropped but it was their fault for being so loud.
“Hey Kook.” Namjoon greeted like they weren’t just talking deeply about his and Yoongi’s relationship. “You ready to head out?”
Jungkook scratched at the back of his neck. “Yup. You’ll have to help me get in the car--”
“--I can help.” Yoongi cut in, lifting his head up. “If you want that.” He mumbled afterwards.
Jungkook’s heart twisted, appreciating that Yoongi was at least willing to try. “Okay.”
Jungkook scheduled his surgery for a month from then. His conversation with Jin lasted about twenty minutes, Jin going over all the finer details of the surgery and the recovery process. He realized half way through it he probably should’ve had Yoongi there with him so he would know how to help him while he was recovering. He realized he probably shouldn’t have acted petty over Yoongi’s feelings towards the whole ordeal but he wanted Yoongi to understand that what he said hurt.
Namjoon helped him back in his car, and they made very little conversation on the way home. He mentioned being happy for him for getting the chance to see again and Jungkook promised to take him out for a meal in thanks for all of the help he gave him once he had his sight back. Jungkook didn’t let Namjoon help him back to his apartment, assuring him that he could make it up the stairs just fine. He could tell from the tone of Namjoon’s voice that he didn’t feel comfortable just dropping him off but he didn’t argue.
Jungkook opened the door to their apartment slowly, shutting it softly behind him. He could hear the sound of Yoongi typing again, a part of him wondering what he was working on this time around. His typing stopped as Jungkook kicked off his shoes. There was a tension in the air that he didn’t feel ready to deal with. Maybe if he just went to sleep he could push it off for a little while longer.
“Hey.” Yoongi greeted, his voice low. He sounded like he was testing the waters and Jungkook found it too hard to ignore.
“Hi.” Jungkook greeted, mimicking the same inflection in his tone. They both felt this tension and they both didn’t know how to deal with it.
“How did it go?” Yoongi questioned. He was good at easing into the conversation. Jungkook recalled him doing this previously, back when they meet at the coffee shop and he had painfully embarrassed himself in front of him.
“Fine,” Jungkook mumbled, shrugging off his jacket and dropping it over the top of the couch as he made his way towards it. Yoongi shifted from his seat, making room for Jungkook as he plopped down. He slouched into the seat, head forward as Yoongi slumped next to him. He wasn’t completely on him, their shoulders touching just barely. He was testing things again. Silence filled the room aside from the sounds Jungkook had grown so familiar with. Cars drove by outside, the curtain flapped in the breeze, the clock ticked, the fan squeaked lazily above them--even with the tension in the air the sounds still tried to wrap Jungkook up in comfort. “The surgery is in a month.”
Yoongi was silent next to him. He sat with his legs bent up on the couch, his laptop in his lap and a steaming cup of coffee in front of him on the coffee table. It had barely been touched, his eyes watching the light steam curl up into the air and disperse when it reached its peak height. The setting sun spilled in from the window, casting an orange glow over everything in the room. The TV reflected their slumped bodies in its black screen, Yoongi’s eyes flickering over to it. He stared at the two of them, his heart twisting as he wondered if they really made the best pair.
Yoongi recalled the time before the two of them starting dating--back when they would attempt to just hang out and Yoongi had made an ass of himself more times than he could count. He remembered being so enamored by everything that Jungkook did and seeing how happy he was even when something so important had been ripped away from him. He remembered the first time they kissed and how Yoongi had actually been the one to completely miss. He remembered the first time Jungkook introduced him to Hoseok and Jimin and how none of them could remember how they became such good friends in the first place. (“It was definitely from a game” Jungkook claimed. “No it was from a live stream, I don’t play games.” Jimin argued. “No, no, you’re both wrong. We all argued with each other on Youtube.” Hoseok added.) Yoongi remembers the first time he ever talked to Hoseok and Jimin without Jungkook there and they begged him for the key to a relationship like theirs. He remembers not being able to come up with anything to tell them. He remembers suddenly the conversation he had with Namjoon hours ago and he realizes the key Hoseok and Jimin wanted to know so badly had been obvious this whole time.
Yoongi blinks, staring at the distorted reflection of him and Jungkook in the tv. He realizes that Jungkook and him worked together so well because they never once doubted their trust in the other. Yoongi remembers all the times Jungkook trusted him to assist with things that he couldn’t do or hadn’t quite gotten used to doing. Yoongi remembers all the times where he had to trust Jungkook to love him without a doubt and Yoongi suddenly wonders where this monster of an emotion in his chest had come from.
He sucks in a breath, not realizing there was already a tear traveling down his cheek. He wonders why the idea of Jungkook seeing him scares him to the point that he can’t remember how to blindly trust the man he had fallen so hard for. He wonders what he has to do to make this monster inside of him subside.
His thoughts all come to a crashing halt when Jungkook drops his head onto Yoongi’s shoulder. He shifts himself to nuzzle into him and Yoongi’s chest swells at how much he’s missed this simple affection. He moves his arm to wrap around Jungkook’s shoulders and pull him closer. The steam from the coffee doesn’t reach as high as it had before and Yoongi realizes that the less he trusts in Jungkook, the shorter their relationship is going to last.
He doesn’t want it to reach a peak. He doesn’t want it to crash down. He doesn’t want it to end, and it scares him so much that something like his appearance has a chance at affecting that.
“Please don’t cry.” Jungkook mumbles into his shoulder, his hand falling lightly against Yoongi’s chest.
Yoongi sucks in a sob as he comes away from his thoughts. He snaps his mouth shut, completely unaware of the emotions that had surfaced. His hand squeezes Jungkook’s shoulder tightly. “I’m sorry, Kook.” He croaks back to him. “I’m so scared.”
Jungkook doesn’t say anything. He snuggles closer to Yoongi, brushing his nose against his neck.
“It’s not just you seeing me, Kook.” Yoongi confesses as his eyes stare forward at their reflection. “It’s everything that comes along with it. It’s you not needing my help anymore.” He sighed, his breath stuttering still even though the tears had stopped. “I’m scared I won’t be able to take care of you anymore and you’ll realize I’m not as great as you once thought I was.” His voice died out on the last word, the spinning of the fan above them giving him something new to look at. Yoongi’s eyes followed it as it slowly spun around, the cords attached to it swaying with each complete spin it made. He still needed to change the light on it.
Jungkook laughed against Yoongi’s neck, his breath warm on his skin. “Is that it?” He questioned, but his tone sounded sincere despite his words. “Yoongi, I’ll be sure to let you pamper me all you want when I get my sight back.” He lifted his head and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. “In fact I think I might like the sight of that.”
Yoongi found himself laughing at his words even with his emotions eating at him the way they had been. He rested his head against Jungkook’s, bringing the two of them closer. Yoongi let his eyes drift closed, tilting his head just enough to press his lips to Jungkook’s head. When he thought about things from this perspective, they had to be the best pair for each other. “Okay.”
The days leading up to Jungkook’s operation were simultaneously the longest days of Jungkook’s life but also the shortest. It felt like the time dragged on forever but before he knew it, Yoongi was sitting next to him with their hands laced together as the nurse that would be assisting with the surgery explained to the two of them what the process would be.
“Holy fuck, you’re gonna be awake the whole damn time?” Yoongi not so subtly cursed.
Jungkook squeezed his hand, his nerves making his stomach tight. “Don’t remind me.”
“We’ll get you some sedative for you to help with the nerves. Once that starts taking effect, the doctor is gonna inject both your eyes with some anesthetic, okay?” The nurse explained to the two of them, Yoongi making a pained expression at the details.
“He’s not going to feel anything, right?” Yoongi questioned.
“Not a thing.” The nurse reassured. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go get that sedative for you. The doctor should be in shortly after.” She passed a pleased smile, but Yoongi’s nerves didn’t settle any from it. He could only imagine how Jungkook felt.
After she stepped out of the room, Yoongi turned his attention to Jungkook. He had his free hand clenched tight against his thigh, his jaw tense as well. Yoongi let out a groan, brushing his thumb against Jungkook’s hand. “God they’re just gonna stab a needle right in your fuckin’ eye, huh?”
“You are not helping.” Jungkook snapped, finally realizing how strained his grip was and flexing out his hand. Yoongi chuckled to his reaction, but lolled his head to the side in defeat. Jungkook took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself. “Everything is gonna be fine… I mean what’s the worst that can happen? I’ll lose my sight?”
Yoongi opened his mouth to spew off a list of his own but one look at Jungkook’s current state made him snap it back shut. “You’ll be okay.” Yoongi commented, bringing their locked hands to his face and pressing a kiss to Jungkook’s. “I’ll be here the whole time, alright?”
Jungkook took in another deep breath and nodded his head, trying to let Yoongi’s words comfort him. “Okay.”
Yoongi had to take time off work after Jungkook’s operation. His fear of not being able to take care of him got shoved to the side after all the attention Jungkook needed immediately following the surgery. The initial pain killers he was prescribed had been the most entertaining nightmare Yoongi had ever had to deal with. One second Jungkook would be slurring about how Yoongi had to go out right that second and buy a liter of kittens and bury himself in it and the next he would be trying to impress him by attempting to back flip off the coffee table and land on the other side of the couch. (When he heard Jungkook climbing onto the table, Yoongi had thrown his mug of fresh coffee into the sink so fast that it chipped the rim of it.)
Hoseok and Jimin had gotten some entertaining conversations recorded when they spoke with Jungkook while he was doped up on pain meds and Jimin had the bright idea to introduce Jungkook to his new boyfriend during that time as well. Taehyung had been warned before hand and he took Jungkook’s random babbling as the cutest thing ever--excluding his daughter of course. Yoongi had his own fun with it, teasing Jungkook with questions that just begged for ridiculous answers but once things started to take a turn down a more inappropriate route he had to quickly end that conversation. (Yoongi panicked the second he heard Jungkook mumble the word ‘dick’ and in his panic he decided that slamming the laptop shut was the best solution. Little did he know that the call didn’t actually end until the laptop went into sleep mode so Hoseok, Jimin, and Taehyung all got to hear Yoongi fumbling over his words as Jungkook suggested some ridiculously lewd things.)
Jungkook had eye drops he had to have dripped into his eyes to help with the pain during the first couple days of his healing process. Yoongi always cautiously undid his bandages when Jungkook was either at the peak of his pain-med high or fast asleep. While he might’ve been distracted by taking such in-depth care of Jungkook, Yoongi’s fear of being seen still made him cautious to all the help he offered.
He was effectively grossed out the first couple of times, having to call Namjoon for a long pep talk the very first time he dropped the liquid into Jungkook’s healing eyes. (“For fucks sake Yoongi just drip it into his tear duct if you’re that squirmy.” Namjoon’s pep talks were only peppy for so long.) They looked so red and very constantly glossy and runny and it grossed him out a bit he wasn’t going to lie.
Eventually the pain dulled and Jungkook didn’t need the assistance of the medications anymore. Yoongi returned back to work after two weeks and Jungkook slept most of his days away, trying to urge time to pass fast enough for him to finally be able to properly remove the bandages. Yoongi kept his fears hidden well, trying his best to take Namjoon’s previous advice and just trust Jungkook like Jungkook had so willingly done with him. The trust had to go both ways, he knew that but it still didn’t stop his own anxiety from taking hold of him as the day for Jungkook to remove his bandages came closer and closer.
Yoongi came home from work often to Jungkook passed out in their bed. He always had a quiet presence, but he took time to make sure he was as quiet as he could be when coming home now as to not wake him up. Jungkook complained that there was still a throb in his eyes occasionally and Yoongi had noticed after a while that Jungkook was reacting to the lights when he flickered them on. One night in particular Jungkook woke up because Yoongi had turned the night shade on with the plan to read before going to bed. He whined at him, grabbing a pillow and dropping it on his face to shield himself from the light. “Tu..ff…e…ght..” The words Jungkook groaned were completely unintelligible.
It may or may not have fully erupted Yoongi’s previous panic after witnessing Jungkook’s sight coming back to him. “….Okay.” He mumbled in response, even though he hadn’t even understood Jungkook’s request.
The day finally came for Jungkook’s bandages to come off. Yoongi had stalled as long as he could, but Jungkook’s patience could only be stretched so far. He was both figuratively and literally ready to rip Yoongi’s head off.
“--Yoongi I swear to God if you come up with one more---”
“--Okay, okay!” He interrupted Jungkook’s soon to be rather violent threat. Yoongi’s nerves were all over the place, his stomach tight and effectively killing his appetite for the entire day. He wouldn’t tell Jungkook that though, because one of the excuses Yoongi had given him was that they needed to eat first. Yoongi grabbed Jungkook’s hands gently and led them to the couch. They both sat down facing each other, Jungkook squeezing Yoongi’s hands lovingly when he noticed how hard they were shaking.
Jungkook chewed his lips, knowing that Yoongi was going to need a moment but it was so hard not to rip off his bandages right then and there. He had to understand just how hard he was testing him at this point. Jungkook listened to the sound of Yoongi sucking in a deep breath and finally felt the man slide his fingers out of his grasp.
“Okay.” Yoongi sighed. “Take them off.”
Now that the moment was here, Jungkook suddenly found himself hesitating. He never once doubted that his feelings would change upon seeing Yoongi but it was suddenly hitting him hard and all at once that he was actually going to be able to see Yoongi. It was the one thing he had wished for since they started dating and his wish was going to happen. He wasn’t just going to be able to see Yoongi, he was going to be able to watch him.
Jungkook took in a breath of his own, his hands reaching for the bandages wrapped around his head. Yoongi was making such a big fuss over his own looks but Jungkook knew he couldn’t have looked well at all since getting his surgery. His fingers searched along the cloth of the gauze for the knot keeping it in place. His ears twitched as the sounds around him all echoed heavily in his head.
Everything he loved about Yoongi’s place filled him in that moment. The ticking of the sailor moon cat as the seconds passed, the echoing of the cars as they drove passed his apartment, the ceiling fan rattling as it spun above them, the flapping of cloth as the wind danced with the curtain--the love Jungkook had for this place was all here for him but the most important one was the soft sound of Yoongi’s breathing directly across from him.
Jungkook pulled at the knot around his head, his heart kicking up in anticipation. He didn’t know what to expect. Jimin and Hoseok had never really been descriptive over Yoongi’s features, and Jungkook was suddenly so painfully aware of that. All he had to go off of was what his fingers had often tried to describe to him.
The bandage around his eyes finally fell and the light in the apartment spotted his closed eyes with warm hues. Jungkook gave himself a second to adjust to the light pelting him and then cautiously flickered his eyes open.
His heart jumped in his throat as the building he had become so familiar with suddenly flooded his sight. The brick walls, the creaky wooden flooring, the outdated and too heavy door--it all suddenly flushed with personality. Jungkook’s eyes immediately snapped to the body in front of him. He was already breathless even though Yoongi was covering his face with a giant stuffed rabbit. Jungkook couldn’t even bring himself to laugh at the cute reaction of Yoongi’s, his heart so eager to see who he had given itself to.
His hands slipped over the shaking ones clutching the sides of the bunny plush and gently urged them down. Yoongi tensed upon the touch but he just as quickly eased up. Jungkook’s heart pounded, his ears reminding him of the comforts he had before he could see. The clock, the window, the fan, the curtain.
Yoongi’s dark brown hair was visible first, his face perfectly skewed by the large ears of the stuffed bunny.
The clock ticked, the curtain drifted with the wind, the ceiling fan squeaked.
The pillow finally fell from Yoongi’s grasp, his eyes cast downward as he shyly bared himself for Jungkook to see. His shoulders were hunched up like he could manage to hide if he tried hard enough, but it wasn’t until his eyes fluttered up to meet Jungkook’s that everything suddenly….stopped.
He didn’t hear the clock anymore. He didn’t hear the fan any more. He didn’t hear the wind anymore. He didn’t hear his heart even though he knew it was screaming in his chest. All Jungkook could focus on was what he was seeing and what he was seeing was effectively taking his breath away.
No matter how well Jungkook might have been able to “see” with his finger tips, nothing would ever have done justice to the sight in front of him. He was--for lack of a better word--completely starstruck.
Yoongi’s lips parted as they locked eyes, his fear of being rejected evident in the slight shine reflected as the light hit it. With each passing second it seemed like that fear grew but Jungkook couldn’t find it in himself to break the spell he seemed to have fallen under. Yoongi’s tongue darted out and wet his lips, Jungkook’s eyes snapping to the motion.
Finally the world started turning for him again and he slumped with the dreamiest sigh Yoongi had ever heard from the man. “Holy fucking shit.” Jungkook smiled, bringing a hand gently to Yoongi’s face.
Yoongi’s eyes dropped to his lap, a blush decorating his cheeks as a smile took over his features.
“Wow,” Jungkook’s eyebrows rose at the action. “I can’t believe I’ve been getting plowed by a God this whole time.”
Yoongi shoved at Jungkook’s shoulder, the fear flooding out of his posture and laughter replacing it. “Hey, hey I think they did something wrong to your eyes!” Yoongi joked.
Jungkook giggled to his statement, but he couldn’t tear his eyes off of the man in front of him. Yoongi’s laughter died down a smile lingering on his lips. He found himself locking gazes with Jungkook again and all the humor between them died. Jungkook’s hands slipped over his own, his thumb brushing over his knuckles. “Yoongi, you’re way better looking than I ever could have imagined.”
Yoongi’s cheeks burned red, clearly not used to this kind of talk. He darted his eyes away from Jungkook’s, smile returning to his features. He chewed his lip as he brought both hands to either side of Jungkook’s face and held him still. Jungkook smiled, knowing that was going to be a habit he didn’t mind staying. He let Yoongi’s mouth meet his, their lips flickering off each others. Yoongi was the first one to pull away and taking Jungkook’s breath with him as his eyes landed on Yoongi’s features once again. “Okay, Kook.” Yoongi beamed, hoping that Jungkook understood that he was so willing to wholeheartedly trust him.
“No, not okay,” Jungkook breathed back, pecking Yoongi’s lips again just to see the way they fell back into place when he pulled away. He took a moment to soak in all of Yoongi’s features, admiring how beautiful the man really was. His sharp crescent shaped and dark eyes so small but so pretty. His round face, his gummy smile, his perfectly messy hair. His smooth, and soft skin that seemed to glow under the warm orange light they were soaked in. Jungkook couldn’t think of any other way he would have it. He couldn’t think of any other word to describe it and as his heart twisted in absolute adoration for the man in front of him, he didn’t think there was another word that sounded better. “Perfect.”