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King Dedede Makes a Groupchat

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THE KING has added Marx, Magolor, Daroach, Susie and 5 others

THE KING: alright

THE KING has changed the group's name to 'Villains Anonymous'

THE KING: all RIGHT.

THE KING: LISTEN UP @everyone

Marx: you have GOT to be kidding me

Magolor has left the group chat!

THE KING has added Magolor to the group chat!

THE KING: and where do you think YOU'RE going? come on guys at least hear me out.

Magolor: Not to be dramatic but I would literally rather die.

Marx: THIS one gets it

THE KING: come on, seriously? look all i need is five minutes to make my pitch then you can all block me or whatever.

THE KING: i'm surprised you haven't got me blocked already, if i'm honest.

Marx: ugh fine

Magolor: You'd better believe I'm counting.

Daroach changed their nickname to 'The Rat That Makes The Rules'

The Rat That Makes The Rules: I declare this chat hella gay

Susie: This chat isn't good enough for that.

THE KING: alright are you done? are you done laughing at the silly penguin now?

Susie: Sure.

The Rat That Makes The Rules: Mostly

Magolor: Four and a half minutes.

THE KING: fuck off.

THE KING: anyway.

THE KING: i have a proposition for you all.

THE KING: we've all done some pretty deplorable things, right?

THE KING: theft on various scales, galactic capitalism, some shit with clay? whatever marx was planning to do with infinite power, betraying a group of people's trust and making them do your dirty work for them, that kinda thing.

Magolor: You can just @ me.

THE KING: yeah you're right.

THE KING@Magolor bitch.

THE KING: ANYWAYS the POINT is that i would rather we all put that shit behind us.

THE KING: i'm not saying we need to kiss and be best friends just kind of 

THE KING: man i don't know

THE KING: there's a level of understanding between us right? we all know what it's like to get our asses beat by kirby?

Marx: you especially

The Rat That Makes The Rules: Can it jester he's actually talking sense

THE KING: just figured i'd extend an olive branch you know

THE KING: try and be nice.

THE KING: whatever use it or don't i'm gonna go take a nap, you can all get to know eachother in the meantime.

THE KING: daroach was nice to me he gets admin

The Rat That Makes The Rules has been promoted to Admin!

The Rat That Makes The Rules: YES 

The Rat That Makes The Rules: PRAISE DEDEDADDY

THE KING: you are on thin fucking ice.

THE KING is now away!

The Rat That Makes The Rules: Alright you meme loving fucks

Magolor: Dear lord...

The Rat That Makes The Rules: In this hella gay chat i decree that you all change your names

The Rat That Makes The Rules: Live life to the fullest like yours truly and if you don't do it i'll do it for you

Marx: is that a threat

The Rat That Makes The Rules: It might be

Marx: ugh

Marx has changed their nickname to 'xXGalactic_AmbitionsXx'

Magolor has changed their nickname to 'enterprisingIntellect'

Susie has changed their nickname to 'Magolor is a Homestuck'

Taranza has changed their nickname to 'vriska'

Zan Partizanne: Pardon my french but what the FUCK is this.

The Rat That Makes The Rules: Change thy nickname or face the consequences 

The Rat That Makes The Rules: Who are you anyway

xXGalactic_AmbitionsXx: bitch who shot lightning at me

Zan Partizanne: Oh, great. Someone invited the gremlin.

The Rat That Makes The Rules has changed Zan Partizanne's nickname to 'Thunder Thot'

xXGalactic_AmbitionsXx: see now this i can respect

Thunder Thot: How do I change it!??

enterprisingIntellect@Magolor Is A Homestuck @vriska None of you are free from sin.

Magolor Is A Homestuck: Bold words coming from a Homestuck.

The Rat That Makes The Rules: As The Rat That Makes The Rules i declare none of you fuckers are allowed to talk about homestuck because i have no clue what that is

Francisca: Bonjam.

Thunder Thot: Fran! How do I change my nickname!?

Francisca changed their nickname to 'I can't read'

I can't read: Sorry dearest sister but you know it to be true.

Thunder Thot: D:

Flamberge changed their nickname to 'i also can't read'

Thunder Thot: I hate this fucking family.


 

4:34PM 

-Villains Anonymous-

xXGalactic_AmbitionsXx: do literally any of you care about this at all

xXGalactic_AmbitionsXx: like for real

The Rat That Makes The Rules: I mean memes aside

The Rat That Makes The Rules: I actually wouldn't mind hanging out with you guys

The Rat That Makes The Rules: But not if you're just gonna be as big of a drip as this guy

xXGalactic_AmbitionsXx: hey fuck you

The Rat That Makes The Rules changed xXGalactic_AmbitionsXx's nickname to 'edge'

edge: I WILL EAT YOUR CHILDREN

Magolor Is A Homestuck: My my, Marx- didn't know you were so passionate about vore.

edge: what the fuck is vore

enterprisingIntellect: Susie please dear god no.

edge: TELL ME

Magolor Is A Homestuck: It's when you...

enterprisingIntellect:  SUSIE.

Magolor Is A Homestuck: Eat a really good meal!

edge: oh huh

edge: well then yeah who doesn't like vore

enterprisingIntellect: I want to die.

vriska: hh

The Rat That Makes The Rules: When's Dededaddy waking up anyway it's been like multiple hours

enterprisingIntellect:  Why are you all like this?


 

4:55PM

-Villains Anonymous-

edge: hey wait

e dge:  @I can't read @i also can't read @Thunder Thot

edge: how are literally any of you alive

edge: and who the fuck is @Claycia

The Rat That Makes The Rules: IS THAT AN UNCHANGED NAME I SEE

Claycia: i thought i could hide...

vriska: we can be cryptids together.

Claycia: !!

edge: touching

edge: anyways back onto things that i care about

edge: i know you thots are lurking back there

Thunder Thot: I bet you don't even know what that word MEANS!

edge: literally neither do you

I can't read: He's got you there.

I can't read: But asides from that, after Hyness so kindly reduced us to statues and threw us around like ragdolls leaving us only with our senses of pain...

I can't read: Void Termina vored us.

Magolor Is A Homestuck: Nice.

I can't read: Kirby beat him up and we awoke in space...

I can't read: And we are currently still out here.

I can't read: Just kind of floating.

edge: hah losers

edge: serves you right

I also can't read: LEAVE HER ALONE

I also can't read: I'LL GRILL YOUR BONES LITTLE JESTER MAN

edge: i mean i already kicked your ass once i don't see the problem in banishing your ass to the shadow realm

Magolor is a Homestuck: Drifting alone in space can't be fun.

Thunder Thot: Excuse my language but yeah no shit.

The Rat That Makes The Rules: I love how she can't curse without being polite about it

Magolor is a Homestuck: No, right? It's adorable. The only exception seems to be when complaining about her sisters.

Thunder Thot: I WAS RAISED BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU

Magolor is a Homestuck: I was going to ask if you wanted a lift, but I don't know...

edge: woah someone actually using this chat for something with any semblance of worth unbelievable 

Claycia: if you really don't like it in here... why don't you just?? leave??

edge: shut up b rate hoe what did you even do

Claycia: stole all of dreamland's colours and forced kirby to fight me in another dimension...

The Rat That Makes The Rules: Marx out here gettin bodied by a cryptid

vriska: i'm so proud.

edge: NOBODY HERE EXCEPT ALL OF YOU BUT ME ARE GETTING BODIED

edge: I WILL BANISH YOU ALL TO THE FUCKING SHADOW REALM

The Rat That Makes The Rules: @Claycia You really got him look

Claycia: >v<

The Rat That Makes The Rules: As much as you're everyone's hero rn i'm gonna have to deal with that name

The Rat That Makes The Rules has changed Claycia's nickname to 'Fuckhands McMike'

The Rat That Makes The Rules: I asked bandanna dee for a picture and you have some very large hands might i say

Fuckhands McMike: that was!! only when i was possessed!!!

The Rat That Makes The Rules: No need to be self-conscious about your massive hands girl there's someone who's into that

The Rat That Makes The Rules: Probably susie

Magolor is a Homestuck: It's probably me.

Fuckhands McMike: hhh...


 

5:25PM

-Villain's Anonymous-  

THE KING: ALRIGHT

THE KING: i see y'all are havin fun.

The Rat That Makes The Rules: The exhalted dededaddy returns

THE KING: why do you feel the need to test me.

edge: reap what you have fucking sown

THE KING: the door is right there marx it's you who won't move those ridiculous clown ass shoes.

edge: WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE BEING INSULTED ON A CONSISTENT BASIS

Thunder Thot: Does he seriously not know?

The Rat That Makes The Rules: Come on man you aren't stupid

Magolor is a Homestuck: No Daroach, you're just too kind.

edge: i just don't get the fucking point

edge: just WHAT is this going to achieve

The Rat That Makes The Rules: Have you ever heard of positive relationships

edge: hah hah 

THE KING: i can't tell if that's mocking daroach or being self-depreciating.

edge: why not both

THE KING: don't cover this up with memes you edgy brat let us talk to you here.

THE KING: i did this so maybe we'd have some friends who understand what we've been through.

THE KING: you know cause that shit FEELS NICE.

THE KING: and maybe, just maybe, getting friends we have things in common with might help us deal with the issues that came from those specific things we have in common.

THE KING: thinking we were in the right and reeling from a reality check, getting possessed, losing to kirby again and again and again, that kind of thing.

THE KING: like, do you know how much i needed someone to talk to after i got possessed those first couple of times? i had constant nightmares for SO LONG.

THE KING: so can we just try to get along? i don't mind some casual roasting but let's stay off eachother's throats alright?

The Rat That Makes The Rules: Look at this man giving us inspirational speeches for fucking free what a god 

The Rat That Makes The Rules: Marx if you ever misbehave again i will kick your teeth in i'm tearing up rn

The Rat That Makes The Rules: Like yeah being possessed? Fucking sucks man

The Rat That Makes The Rules: And like admittedly i feel kinda bad about @Fuckhands McMike's name

Fuckhands McMike: it's no problem...

vriska: king dedede is a better parental figure than my real parents.

vriska: if any of you disrespect my dad i will fight.

The Rat That Makes The Rules: DEDEDAD

vriska: DEDEDAD

Fuckhands McMike: dededad..!

Magolor is a Homestuck: Dededad!

Magolor is a Homestuck: @enterprisingIntellect Join us.

enterprisingIntellect: *sigh*

enterprisingIntellect: Dededad.

edge: you're all so dumb

edge: but

edge: thanks i guess

edge: for dealing with me

edge: i guess i could use a few less issues

vriska: marx you can join us and be adopted by dededad!

edge: i'll think about it

Magolor is a Homestuck: Character development... 

THE KING: i'm not too sure about being a father...

THE KING: but if that's what it takes, then FINE! call me dad if it makes you feel better, got it?

THE KING: just please do not call me daddy

The Rat That Makes The Rules: Damn called out

vriska: i fucking love this family.

 

5:40

-enterprisingIntellect-

edge: hey

edge: magolor right

enterprisingIntellect: Yes.

edge: kirby told me about you

edge: what you did was pretty fucked up

edge: but like kirby's all chill with me now

enterprisingIntellect: Did you come here just to mock me away from everyone?

edge: no assface listen

edge: let me finish

edge: we're both blue and we both hurt kirby emotionally

edge: i was gonna ask if you wanted to like

edge: be friends or something

edge: cause like he forgave me so maybe i could like help you out

enterprisingIntellect: That speech really did get to you, hm? 

edge: look do you wanna be fucking buddies or what i have memes if that helps

enterprisingIntellect: Very well, I tentatively accept on the promise of memes.

enterprisingIntellect: Friend.

edge: are you really trying to be dramatic while saying that

enterprisingIntellect: Yes.

edge: respectable

edge: wanna see my favourite meme

enterprisingIntellect: Go on.

edge:

enterprisingIntellectExquisite.


 

5:55PM

-Villains Anonymous-

THE KING: hey @The Rat That Makes All The Rules

THE KING: do you and the squeak squad sing that one song

THE KING: rats, we're rats, we're the rats

The Rat That Makes The Rules: WE PREY AT NIGHT WE STALK AT NIGHT

The Rat That Makes The Rules: W E ' R E   T H E   R A T S

The Rat That Makes The Rules: The answer is a resounding YES

The Rat That Makes The Rules: That's like basically the Squeak Squad anthem

The Rat That Makes The Rules: Y'all should come on over to a Squeak Squad party sometime

THE KING: you guys have parties

The Rat That Makes The Rules: Only the hypest parties this side of pop star

THE KING: isn't that bad for a criminal organization

The Rat That Makes The Rules: We like to think of ourselves as vigilantes 

THE KING: sure.

Magolor Is A Homestuck: What about me, and all the others who live in space?

I can't read: 'Live' is a strong word.

The Rat That Makes The Rules: Hypest parties this side of the galaxy then you're invited too 

Magolor Is A Homestuck: I'm honoured.

Thunder Thot: Susie are you fucking here yet!?

Magolor Is A Homestuck: Patience, Zan.

Magolor Is A Homestuck: I only have so much fuel to burn, you know.

enterprisingIntellect: What's going on with you two, then?

Magolor Is A Homestuck: I'm picking up these three lovely ladies so they can stay on my ship for a bit. Just until we find a place to drop them down.

I also can't read: can it be pop star? i wanna PARTY

Magolor Is A Homestuck: If you're a good girl, it can be Pop Star.

The Rat That Makes The Rules: Susie why does everything you say give off such lowkey to highkey lesbian dominatrix vibes

The Rat That Makes The Rules: Like DAMN

Magolor Is A Homestuck: Silence.

I also can't read: i'll be a good girl!!!

Thunder Thot: Flam! That sounds highly inappropriate! 

I also can't read: I WANNA PARTY SO I'M GONNA BE A GOOD GIRL

Thunder Thot: PLE AS E  STO P

The Rat That Makes The Rules: When you're such a top people become bottoms just by talking to you

Magolor Is A HomestuckSilence.

The Rat That Makes The Rules has changed I also can't read's nickname to Good Widdle Girl

Magolor Is A Homestuck: DAROACH.

The Rat That Makes The Rules: NO WAIT

The Rat That Makes The Rules has changed Good Widdle Girl's nickname to Daddy's Little Monster

The Rat That Makes The Rules has changed Magolor Is A Homestuck's nickname to Daddy

The Rat That Makes The Rules: P e r f e c t

Daddy's Little Monster: HELL YEAH I'M A MONSTER

Daddy: I am going to tear you limb from limb.

Thunder Thot: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I can't read: You guy's can't see it but Zan is blushing in space.

I can't read: It's pretty impressive.

I can't read: I didn't even know we were being picked up, how long have you been privately messaging Susie dear sister?

The Rat That Makes The Rules: Ohoho

Thunder Thot: Hey! What are you implying!?

Thunder Thot: Do you take me for some kind of... Harlot!?

I can't read: Yes.

Daddy's Little Monster: yes

Daddy: Yes.

The Rat That Makes The Rules: Yes

vriska: yes.

THE KING: yes.

enterprisingIntellect: Yes.

edge: yes

Fuckhands McMike: yes...

Daddy: Your name does include the word 'Thot'.

Thunder Thot: WHAT DOES THAT WORD MEAN

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