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Golden Wings (broken by you)

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SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 16 JULY // 00.43AM


I awake to the obnoxious ringing of my phone, a low groan parts from my lips as I screw my face up at the blaring ringing throughout my previously peaceful room. I try to ignore it, too comfy to move from my cocoon of cushions but the noise becomes more blatant with every strike.


Groggily, I sit up, turning to see my phone vibrating on the messy bedside table, I turn to the clock, 12.43am, what idiot calls this early? A loud sigh escapes at them not giving up; I shuffle across my bed which is now ruined from my inability to get comfy until I found my exact position which has now been rudely taken away, I doubt I'll be able to find it again. I turn my phone over; the bright white light makes my eyes twitch as they scorch the nerves at the sudden brightness illuminating my tired and puffy face. I answer:

'What?'


'Gguk we need you now.'


'Why?'


'No time to ask questions, why did it take you so long to answer? I told you not to go to sleep!'


'I thought you said no questions hyung?'


'Shut up you child, stop trying to sound smart it doesn't sound good.'


'What do you want?'


'Yah, do you not listen or are you completely fucking stupid? Boss needs you now, get your arse here we have something important to show you. If you are not here in fifteen minutes, I am going to come to your house and put two bullets in your skull you hear me?'


'Yeah yeah, hyung I'll be there in fifteen.'


'Make it ten and on your way grab us a coffee it's going to be a long night.'


'Fine coffee, can I go now?'


'Yes, fucking hell Jeongguk get your arse over here!'

 

I move the phone away from my ear as he begins yelling down the line, I hang up before he can finish and I will probably get a scolding for being rude, but I don't care, hyung loves me really. I rub my eyes roughly, as I stand stars begins swimming in the room, I stumble slightly as my vision goes black and I feel lightheaded instantly. It soon passes, and I grab my trusty leather jacket with our symbol on it before heading out on my skateboard. 

The street is dark, the faint sound of middle-aged men pissed beyond recognition at the taverns a couple streets down can be heard, luckily I am heading in the opposite direction. The orange-tinted lights buzz from their great height, moths dancing frantically to grab the light source with little achievement.


It's summer, so it isn't cold, but my jacket shields me from the brisk breeze that bats against my skin as I shoot down the pathways on my skateboard. The city is dead and not surprising considering it's a Thursday, many of the flats are pitch black as I roll past with ease, it's peaceful, almost too quiet for my mind and it begins to wonder. Something must be important if hyung calls me at this time, maybe they found him, probably not but my heart can't help but hope.


"You boy, what are you doing awake at this time? Don't your parents worry where you are?" An old man asks waving his walking stick in my face as I stroll along the pavement on my way to the coffee shop that's open all hours. I smile at him; he reminds me of my Grandfather, his skin sagging on his neck and arms, his eyes drawn into a thin line as he watches me closely, I walk over chuckling slightly as he notices my jacket. "Oh son, you shouldn't be tied up with those at such a tender age, don't your parents worry?" Parents, that's funny, they left years ago, I just shake my head.

"My parents don't care, sir, shouldn't you be in bed? This time of night isn't safe for old men to walk around you might get injured, don't want another hip replacement on your hands now do we?" He scoffs at my cheeky remark; a bright smile replaces his scowl making him look much younger than he is, nineties I would say. I hope I never get to that age, your body starts to hate you and I don't want to be shitting myself every five hours, with my life I'll be lucky if I live past forty. "Don't worry about me sir, I might look young, but I am actually fifty-six this September." He pierces his eyes trying to work out if I am lying, he settles with it being bullshit and pushes me slightly.


"You young man have a mouth, having a mouth will get you into trouble someday! Count yourself lucky that an old man like me has seen much worse than your gobby attitude." I laugh at him flaying his hands around, I look down at my watch 12.58, and with that comment, I say farewell and head into the store to grab five coffees.

 

01.20AM

"What took you so fucking long?" Hyung yells as I walk into the den, all four turn to look eyes wide as my skateboard clatters to the floor before rolling slightly over to one of the desks knocking an unstable pile of money onto the floor. "Nice one twat, go pick that up." He orders grabbing the coffees out of my hands and clipping me behind the ear, I mutter under my breath at how aggy he is tonight, and he loudly slurps up some caffeine sitting back in his original seat legs crossed on top of the desk.


"Some old man stopped me and decided to give me advice on reevaluating my life decisions." Hyung scoffs muttering about how pensioners these days ought to be shot for not being able to cope with the change in society. Tad extremist but that's Yoongi hyung for you. "So what's so important that you decided I need to be here?" I ask placing the stack of money back on the desk and waltzing over to where the four older men are sat.


The four of them are a picture to be seen, each portraying a very contrasting image and to this day I still find it hilarious how they even managed to find one another. Yoongi hyung is that small guy with anger issues, he's not one to underestimate, he's killed and injured more people than I can count up to and with his shadowy appearance, it is easy to understand how. He has a short fuse that only I can tip over the edge and not receive a gunshot or a quick slice of the throat from, a privileged of being the youngest I take great advantage of. He only wears black clothing with the occasional dark grey, only once have I seen him in colour on the spectrum, a bright orange jumper and oh boy it was a sight to be seen, almost had an aneurysm when he walked in.


His clothing reflects off of his platinum blonde hair, his piercing black eyes can be unnerving at times but that very rare gummy smile sticks in my head even when his expression is sour. Yoongi hyung cannot get mad at me, and I like to push him just to see, it's a fun game I recommend it, but only if you don't mind having your guts spill out of you a second later.

Next, we have Hoseok hyung, a red-haired man that's smile can affect even the blind, his patience and good nature have made him soft, well, softer compared to Yoongi. But then again Yoongi is pretty much a rock, so anything is softer than him. Hoseok although he appears to be nothing but innocence he is the most sadistic man I have ever met. He deals with those stupid men who do not pay up and will regularly come back to the den covered in blood with little to no bruises or marks on himself; he will walk down here holding his revolver or knife with the brightest smile. Sometimes I question if he is a psychopath, but he cares for me, so I don't ponder too hard. His attitude can switch from sunshine and daisies to gunfights and slaughter in a matter of seconds, that's why Boss treasures him, he is a weapon.


Namjoon hyung is next, a man just out of University and the mind behind this crew. He prides himself on his intelligence, being in the top percentage of students in Korea and the IQ of 148 has earned him a quick partnership inside, quieter than most but never the less deadly. Boss likes him; he doesn't just take on any sort of student, he saw potential and didn't miss a second to grab it. Sometimes I wonder why he let me into the inner circle, the 'gang' as outsiders say is the of the largest in Seoul and possibly even Korea as a whole all because of one man.


Kim Seokjin, a man no older than 27, by the time he was 22 he was the CEO of one of the largest companies in Korea and has worldwide recognition as one of the most influential businessmen. His Father died when he was 20 and left all his estates and money to him, no siblings and only a Mother, left Seokjin with so much power but he didn't want to keep it all to himself, how humble. His oldest friend Yoongi, his second-hand man became his business partner as soon as he rose to his CEO position. Since then the business has only increased, and on the side, he does this gang, undercover of course, just us four know who he is, and the rest of the gang know him as 'The Boss', it is vital his identity is kept a mystery otherwise the whole plan will crumble.


The man sits there calmly juxtaposing against the other three, his suit is pristine and sharp, a silk tie and his plump lips stern. Those brown orbs are carrying an emotion that separates himself from the others. Sat next to Yoongi he looks enormous, the blonde haired man slouching in his usual black attire occasionally slurping up some coffee. Namjoon sits there hands clasped together on the table, his short hair and wide-rimmed glasses, light shining on the glass and obstructing his eyes from being seen. Hoseok has his back turned away from me, but I know he is listening, not needing to see to understand what's happening.


"We called you here Jeongguk because we need your help, you're the only one who can sort this," Seokjin starts rolling the polystyrene cup between his hands as he gazes at me, his face hard but soon turns into a softer expression. He and Yoongi took me in when my family decided to run away after getting into some trouble with this gang and instead of killing me on the spot they turned me into one of theirs. They are my family now, I am one of them, and they are apart of me, they are my roots.

"What do you want me to do hyung?" I ask grabbing my own coffee, Yoongi looks at me over the rim of his own cup eyebrows raised, he only does this expression when it's something I am not going to agree with.


"You see we have run into a little bit of a situation; this boy unknowingly has taken something from us and you know we can't have that. I need you to track him down and get it back." That's obviously not the full story, but it's the most I am going to get.


"Okay, so what did he steal?" I ask hesitating slightly as I look at the other three men's faces looking somewhat on edge, Seokjin sits back in his chair clearly irritated by whatever this boy has taken.


"We believe he knows Kim." Namjoon interrupts, and my eyes shoot to him, the glimmer inside my eyes brightening and Yoongi quickly notices and burns it out.


"It's not for certain of course; we saw him talking to one of the snakes, one we believe cares for Kim or at least could know where he is." I nod silently looking down at my cup; the room falls silent for a moment.


"I want you to retrieve his phone, he lives in Mapo-gu, Hongdae, student, 21 and possibly dangerous, might have bodyguards we are not sure." Seokjin continues looking at his fingernails being very bored of the conversation.


"Only the phone Boss? Anything else?" I ask lifting an eyebrow a small smirk planting itself on my face, and he turns to look at me, his dark glossy hair reflecting in the light of the room as he takes another sip of his coffee.


"Jung give him what he needs." He lifts his index finger over to Hoseok who immediately gets up and wanders over to the secret cabinet, opening it to show an abundance of guns and other weapons, many illegal and smuggled from Russia. I eye up the Kalashnikov shining in the corner in its matte black form, but Hoseok completely skips past it and grabs a rather disappointing knife. "Cut his throat and throw him in the Han, we don't want snakes coming after us, nor do we want the media tying this to Kim." With that, he stands up and walks into the back room closely followed by Namjoon and Hoseok.


I sit there staring at the knife; I pull it out of its leather pouch to reveal it's deadly length and smile. Yoongi sighs, "remember what I told you kid, only use the knife if he fights back, if he's a coward wait until he's told you everything he knows, quick slice to the neck no need to play around."


"Hyung you pride yourself on torture why are you telling me to be quick?" He frowns standing up.


"I might pride myself on it, but that doesn't mean I want you killing random boys because they stepped a foot out of line."


I snigger, "anyone would think hyung that you don't want this snake to die." I am met with silence, and I know instantly that this boy I am going after isn't a snake. "Innocent?" I ask quietly and hyung nods, darting his eyes over to the door to see if this conversation is safe.


"Just slice his throat quickly, don't play around, he might be useful so interrogate and see if he knows Kim." Before I can reply hyung vanishes with his coffee into the room where the other three went, and I sigh leaning back on my chair, another innocent Boss wants me to take down. I have no problem with it, if they've got to die they gotta go, I won't hesitate, but I just wish they could at least have something on them, more than only being seen with a snake.

 


 

 

SEOUL - MAPO-GU // 17 JULY// 08.21AM


"Remember kid find as much information out from him as you can before killing, find where Kim is that's the main goal here and if that means killing a few snakes don't hesitate to use their venom against them." Hoseok reminds me as he drops me off outside this fancy apartment block, it's nothing compared to Boss's home, but it is far better than where I live that's for sure. I have been told to watch this man for a while, see if he is working for the Snakes or if he is purely collateral damage. Find Kim, Kim is the main goal, kill this man and find him that's all you have to do Gguk, find Kim.

"Hyung, how am I supposed to know what he looks like? You haven't given me anything to identify him with." Hoseok smirks at this as I lean over the passenger window to look at him, he told me to get out the car because I stink apparently, not true I showered this morning.


"Named Park, 21, University goer, possibly dangerous." Hoseok repeats getting bored of saying it to me, except that doesn't help. He sighs realising that it's not doing anything for me, "seriously Gguk we trained you for this, you'll know him when you see him if it helps he has blonde hair."


"Wow, yeah hyung really helps, blonde hair!" I scoff, but before I can object a little more, he speeds off almost flattening my foot in the process. "Fucker," I mutter under my breath as I stand in the middle of the road with my skateboard tucked tightly under my arm, I grab the pack of cigarettes in my jacket pocket alongside my lighter and light it. I look around, it's still early, and many of the flats curtains are still closed, I guess I'll have to use my brain to work out what this snake looks like.


On past experiences where the hyungs' have given me next to no information on the people I am tracking I can clock them within seconds of coming into my eyesight, they stick out like sore thumbs. Usually, they have this cocky walk which just makes them look like they have shit in their pants, many have tattoos, snakes are renowned for their tattoos most of them look like the shit you would get in Magaluf on a drunken night out.


I spot a bench and stroll towards it making sure I can still see the apartments, it's already warm today, and I am glad I decided to wear my ripped jeans just to give some air into my poor legs, Seoul's weather is ridiculous sometimes. This is going to be a long one I can feel it but it's a Friday, and this Park definitely will have lessons some point in the day.

Sometimes I wish I went to University, I didn't even get to graduate High School, I was in my third year when my parents vanished, Yoongi hyung tried to make me go back to school after they took me in, but I refused. I would much rather have learnt a hundred ways to torture a man than Pythagoras theorem. I might seem dumb but I know things, I am trained, I can kill without hesitation, I can hack without difficulty, I can interrogate without slipping up, and I most certainly can spot a snake when I see one.


I suppose I should explain precisely what we are, the gang is the most significant underground business spread across Korea, Seokjin knows how to keep hidden, his business above ground works in Business and Estate as such, he owns a third of all public buildings across Seoul, from small things like libraries to shopping malls to banks and even the National Police Agency. The truth is, Seokjin is a con man, a brilliant one at that. Kim Seokjin the CEO of Seoul, that's his title, his Father was the Sheriff of Seoul's Police Force and fought in the Navy for twenty years alongside the US military - a powerful man with a godly son. He's in the public eye continuously, and you can ask anyone across Korea, they will know this mans name and they will praise him for his generous heart and loving nature.

He basically plays one massive game of monopoly and trust me; he isn't going to go bankrupt.


Fools play really, Seokjin or The Boss controls the largest underground gang, in fact, 1 in 3 boys in Seoul will have some link to our gang. We rule 16 of the 25 districts of Seoul, Gangnam being the epicentre of our power, being the countries financial and banking hub, Seokjin lets say has made deals with the devil to get where we are. Our name is feared, and our symbol is engraved into the minds of every single person in Korea, a seemingly innocent creature now riddled with violence and superiority. An Eagle, she soars above the clouds roaming above all others, towering over us humans and ultimately killing all snakes that slither into her land, a merciless killer of the sky. Each member of the gang has a small symbol (small in the means of a circle within the gang- the larger the symbol, the higher the rank) of the Eagle swooping and clawing at the serpent in her grasp, a clear message that any and all snakes will be terminated.

Hwang-geumbich nalgae (Golden Wings) is our official gang name, but we are mainly just called Sasin (Reaper) for our prominence in the killings of many 'important' figures, of course, none can be criminally linked back to us, but everyone knows it's us.


The outer circle of Hwang-geumbich nalgae deals with petty crimes, drugs, robbery and arson you know the stuff a twelve-year-old could do. The middle ring is the weaponry and fraud but also run the pornography sector and escorts, they work alongside men doing inside jobs allowing access to every single business we need, stealing from accounts and bringing down the big boys in power whilst Seokjin stays at the top. You know how gangs work, I don't need to explain it, everyone and their Grandma's know what gangs do.


Now the inner circle, five of us. We control the whole thing, Namjoon hacks and bookkeeping, the brains behind every heist and attack. Yoongi does field work, an advocate of death and bribery alongside Hoseok who as well as kills people for a living is the messenger, nothing goes on in this city without Hoseok knowing about it, having mice everywhere sniffing out the scent of snakes. Then there's me, the assassin, I killed my first man when I was fifteen, now eighteen turning nineteen this September, this Park man will be my 87th killing. Yoongi hyung claims to have killed over two hundred men or at least damaged them beyond repair.

"Have you clocked him yet?"


"No hyung, no one has stepped outside the apartments yet."


"Be careful if he is a snake he will be hiding from you."


"Can't hide from me if I don't know what he looks like to even stalk him."


"Hoseok hyung didn't give you a detailed description huh?"


"No all he told me was this fucker has blonde hair."


"I'll be kind; his first name is Jimin, 21-"


"If someone tells me this twat is 21 one more time I'm going to flip!"


"Alright chill, I will send you a photo of him now, Hoseok already has a folder on the snake."


"Hoseok hyung is such a fucking pervert I swear."


"Might want to refrain from saying that kid, he'll come after you for that."

 

"Namjoon, I could get away with sleeping with a snake they love me that much."


"Wouldn't joke about that either kid, if Boss hears you saying that shit-"


"Yeah, yeah I know, get me kicked out."


"Worse than that Gguk, you'd be fucking dead within seconds."


"Anyway, just send me a photo of this prick so I can get it over with and go home, fucking an hour away and I have no clue what the fuck this place is."


"I don't know you're acting like you've never been to Mapo-gu before, we rule it Gguk even if the snakes like to think they do. Anyway, I'll send the folder over now, don't tell Hoseok I helped you he specifically said to let you suffer."


"Starting to think hyung hates me."

 

"Worse, he loves you."


"Yeah, that's not something I want."


"Alright kid, get back to stalking."


"It's what I do best hyung, go back to hacking a bank or the FBI or whatever the fuck you do."

 

13.15PM

I don't know what this Park does other than University, but surely lessons start before this current time? I've been sat on this bench for hours, so long my arse has gone numb more times than I care to count and I frequently have to shuffle uncomfortably just to alleviate some of the rock hardness against my sore backside. Many people have walked, driven and stared at me, I must say I probably look weird, a teenager sat here instead of being in school probably rings alarm bells in many of the residents here, but one thing for certain no bloody blonde haired snake has appeared.

Namjoon hyung sent me a photo of him; he looks serious, a strong jawline and these piercing brown eyes as he was talking to a masked snake just up there on the fourth floor outside Apartment 58. Maybe I should go investigate? Perhaps the fucker isn't in, and Hoseok has set me up on a wild goose chase? I roll my skateboard side to side tediously under my feet to get rid of my crippling boredom, I've almost run out of fags, and if I don't eat something soon, I might die.

What a fucking waste of time, if we got Kim I wouldn't be sat here shitting my life away. I am about to curse my Boss into hell for making me sit here all fucking day when I notice some movement, I shift to sit up correctly on the bench my spine clicking painfully against the hardwood, but I am too busy watching the snake to care.

There he is, blonde haired fucking 21-year-old Park Jimin, in all his glory. I slowly take my last cigarette as I watch the man stroll mindlessly down the steps of each floor until he reaches the ground level and pauses. He's texting, a broad smile plastered on his face and he embarrassingly moves his hand to cover his mouth to stop himself laughing out loud, not that there is anyone around apart from me.


He isn't exactly dressed like a snake; a large khaki coloured bomber jacket with different embroidered patches on them and a large black hoodie underneath. A bad choice considering how hot it is today, I watch him stroll down the street on the opposite side eyes still glued to his phone, if he isn't careful he's going to knock into something.

I wait until he's further down the street before I move to follow, I quickly text Hoseok to tell him I have him in my line of vision:


'Eyes on Snake, talons preparing to strike.'


The boy doesn't seem to be in any rush, and I think he has only looked up from his phone twice to make sure he is going the right way. He stops at the crossing and shoves the phone into his back pocket carelessly; I can easily skate past and snatch it. I shake the idea out of my head, it's too busy, and someone will notice. Thankfully, he isn't going far and stops off at the nearest convenience store, a great place to grab some food and a new pack of fags because I have run out.


I wait until he is inside before I walk over casually, skateboard locked under my arm once again and as I open the door the bell rings but of course no one pays attention. I spot him over at the drinks, but he is texting still. This kid is never off that god damn phone it's a shame I'll have to take it from his loving hands, won't be needing it much though not with him being dead and all that with his feet concreted to the bottom of the river. I keep my head low spotting the CCTV camera, and it's annoying green flashing light as it scours over every inch of the tiny shop.

I grab a bag of seaweed chips and an apple, a strange combination if I say so myself, but I am trying to keep my distance from the boy, if he notices me then my plan might be ruined. I slowly walk towards the counter, the young girl behind the desk smacking a wad of gum in her mouth obnoxiously as she runs her eyes over me. I place the food on the checkout and ask for a pack of Camels her eyes perk up at me smoking for some strange reason.


"Why you not in school?" She asks taking far too long, I look at her irritated just by her eagerness to talk to me, she evidently has a thing for me, not to be cocky but she's practically swooning. Not my type anyway. I quickly turn to notice the man moving towards us and my eyes shoot back to the girl.


"Can you just hurry up, I have places to be," I snap and she instantly gets back to her job mumbling under her breath that she was just being polite. I sigh, "sorry didn't mean to snap, girlfriend just broke up with me. I'm just a little cautious around girls now." The biggest lie of my life but she instantly cracks a smile as the cogs start ticking.


"Here have my number, if you ever need some help getting over that girlfriend hit me up." She attempts to do a seductive hand through the hair as she puffs her chest out slightly, I watch blankly before grinning flatly as she hands me my bag and her number. Then my phone vibrates in my pocket:


'Change of plan, befriend the snake he's important, grab him and bring him to the nest Boss wants him.'

 I curse under my breath before turning to the man stood patiently on his phone for me to move along so he can buy his drink. "I'll come back tomorrow, what time does your shift end?" I ask, and he lifts his head slightly at me making a move on this girl much to her delight. "Unless you can't wait and I'll just come on your break." A breathy laugh comes from the man as he watches the girl swoon in my fingertips, I lean over the desk to whisper in her ear; "always wanted to see what's in a store cupboard" and she blushes crimson in seconds with a small giggle.


"Anytime, urr..."


"Justin."


She nods, "Justin, that's cute, foreign." The boy behind coughs slightly and I return my attention to him.


"Oh, sorry mate," I move out the way for him to pay which takes seconds and before I know it he's exiting the shop, the sharp ring of the bell as the door closes. I quickly wink at the girl before jolting out of the shop not expecting to see him standing there with a grin on his face gazing straight at me. He's shorter than I pictured, less harsh looking as well, he reminds me of a kitten, he just isn't intimidating in the slightest, and I have no idea how Boss seems to think he's essential.


"Do you always hit on girls like that?" His voice is lower than I imagined too, he crosses his arms with a giant smile on his face that crescents his eyes, normally the men I kill are not so, cute. I shake my head walking away from him a little, and I do not expect him to follow but he does, he's making this too easy.


"No, usually they hit on me." He scoffs as he walks alongside and I laugh with him. I shuffle my bag into the hand of my other and reach out to shake his, he looks at it unsure but shakes none the less. His hands are firm, and as I gaze into his eyes, I feel a pang of guilt for what I am about to do. "Jeongguk" I introduce myself, and he furrows his eyebrows in confusion.


"I thought your name was Justin?" He asks puzzled as I let go of his hand and snigger walking alongside him again.


"I'm not about to give random girls my name; they might track me down."


"Why did you tell me your name then? How do I know you're not lying about that being your name too?"


I whip out my id card, and he inspects it, with a loud hmm he hands it back, "I told you my name because we are going to be friends."


He smiles at this and gives a breathy laugh once again. "Jimin," he tells me brightly, and I nod pretending I didn't already know that. "So how come you're not in school? You must be that age? High School?" I shake my head, and he frowns.


"I don't go to school, I work." He nods with a little 'oh' which is kind of cute, but we are going to skip past that. I quickly text Hoseok.

'Snake in talons, swoop and grab.'

It won't be long until we are picked up, or at least I'll be picked up, and he'll be tied up, better than a bullet in the skull.


"How old are you? You can't be older than me."


"I'm fifty-six this September," I tell him with a serious face, and he turns to look at me with an 'o' expression, he scans my face and body trying to find out if I am lying but I just end up laughing and his eyes scowl at me.


"See you lied, that ID is fake!" He playfully hits my arm, and I pant for air from my laughing fit. "You are a child; only children lie like that!"


"I'm eighteen Jimin," I say recovering from my giggles and wiping the corners of my eyes. "Nineteen this September."


"Exactly my point, a child." I stop at the entrance of a road feeling my phone vibrate, Jimin stops alongside me drinking his iced tea. "So if you don't go to school, where do you work?" He asks as I pull my phone out to have a look.

'Target in sight stay there.'

I look up at him with a smile, "I work in business" I say, and he lifts his eyebrows pondering most definitely if that's a lie. "I'm one of the best businessmen in Seoul, maybe even Korea- cut that the world!" I laugh enthusiastically, and he rolls his eyes.


"Now that is a lie, you probably work behind a bar or something, no maybe construction or something considering your body." I lift an eyebrow with a playful grin, and he scoffs again.


"My body Jimin?" I tease, and he turns slightly, so he doesn't have to look at my smug face.


"I meant you obviously work out, don't get your hopes up that I am like all the girls you so desperately want to sleep with." I laugh at his defensiveness.


"I know what you meant I was just playing. No, I am a businessman." I hear the van coming, and he turns to look at me again asking what kind of business and I move towards him more just to make sure he can't slip through and get away. He looks up at me intrigued, and I smile, "Sasin." His eyes instantly widen and glaze over, and before he can even compute to run away he is pulled into the back of a van and gagged, he puts up a fight, but one knock to the head from one of the men puts the rest of the ride to ease.


"Good job Gguk, I thought he would've been harder to crack than that," Hoseok says as I sit in the passenger seat next to him, a cruel smile on his face as he drives away. I just sit there staring out the window eating my chips, Jimin seems kind enough, I don't think he is a snake, but if he's been seen with one then he is now in the Snake's pit except the Eagle grabbed him, and now he is never being let go. I just brought him to his death. 

 


 

 

SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 15.01PM

"So what changed? Why is he suddenly important?" I ask Yoongi as Hoseok ties the limp body of Jimin to a metal chair in the middle of one of the nests back rooms. His mouth from being knocked unconscious is slack, and his plump lips create a sort of pout, he looks peaceful except for the extensive bruise forming on his left temple. Although if it's anything to do with Yoongi and Hoseok that swelling won't be the only one left on him.


"Boss seems to believe he knows more than we first thought, a background check showed he's cousins with Adder." My eyes shoot open as I turn to Yoongi, Adder, the known boss of the other rival gang, baem gumeong (Snake Pit) but we just call them snakes because that's what they are.


The gang is less known in the business world but are highly recognized in the underground game for drugs, pornography and gang-related crimes; they have a sex ring which is just uncivilised. Adder is known to the Police, due to Jin's friendship with the Police we are never on their radar as such but Adder and his thugs are, continuously killing and leaving sloppy marks everywhere. Their motto literally is “No use hiding in bushes when there are snakes around.” It's safe to say every Sasin hates snakes, we are better at everything they do, and they just run amuck killing for fun and raping for profit, Adder needs a bullet in his head, and Seokjin is now one step closer to finding the bastard.


"Do you think he knows anything about Kim?" I ask quietly staring at the boy in the chair, Hoseok stands over him trying to suss out any weak spots they can snare onto and get answers. "I mean if he's cousins with Adder then surely he would know about Kim?"


Yoongi looks at me uncertain, "like I said he's just a cousin, we don't even know if he knows that Adder is Adder. Boss wants us to make sure before we chuck him in the Han." I nod, wouldn't surprise me if Jimin didn't know what his cousin is, their group is highly secretive, and no family members know anything about what their sons and even daughters get up to during the day.

Just take Boss, for example, his Mother has no idea that he owns an Empire underground, he truly is in my eyes the superior, he looks after these cities, cleans them up, cares for the children and provides jobs for the adults. Sure, we kill, rob and sell drugs but without us, without us Sasins' the city would fall into the hands of snakes, and that would be the doom of all men.


"Should we wake him up and find out?" Hoseok asks grinning at us both, he naturally found a weak spot and is eager to get to work. I step forward making sure Jimin's gaze as soon as he wakes up lands on mine, a familiar face will somewhat comfort him more than having Yoongi's ugly trap staring into his, I know that would give me a heart attack after being knocked out for two hours. Hoseok chucks water over him, and Jimin instantly jolts upright yelping and panting for air like he had been deprived the whole time he was out. 

His eyes latch onto mine as he tries to work out what the fuck is happening. "Hello Jimin," I say kindly, and he doesn't reply, I move forward a little, "it's alright, we just want to ask you some questions okay?" Again, no reply. He probably needs a moment to take in everything, discover where he is, acknowledge he's tied up and most certainly realise he's going to die.


"You lied to me," he says trying to pull his hands out of the bondages Hoseok made sure were so tight it's probably pinching his tanned skin. "You said you were a businessman, not a crow!" He snaps angrily, and I just stand there, Hoseok and Yoongi stand up and walk towards him slightly, Jimin watches them. "What do you want from me? I don't have anything to tell you, so your questions are wasted." I nod, I knew he would say that they all say that before the torture begins.


"But we think you do," I start, I move forward, and he looks up at me his breathing hard. "Your cousin Jimin, what's his name?" His face sinks instantly as he begins to understand what's brought him here, a sense of disappointment hits me, I didn't want him to have anything to do with the snakes, I wanted him to be innocent for the sake of my conscience and for the fact that he's the first one I have met where I haven't instantly wanted to slice their throat. He doesn't seem like the type to be a deceitful serpent.


"My cousin?" He questions dumbly, and Yoongi steps up, this isn't going to be pleasant.


"Adder," he snaps, and Jimin turns to look at him, brows furrowed as he pretends he doesn't know who that is. "Your cousin is Adder, isn't it? Where is he?" Jimin shrugs pouting slightly, I am kind of glad he isn't as weak as I first thought, but that's bad when Yoongi and Hoseok are finished, Jimin won't even be able to lift a finger in the air either through not having any fingers left or because he is dead, maybe both.


"I don't have a cousin called Adder? What sort of name is Adder?" Jimin questions shaking his head, Yoongi frowns clenching his fists tight, the colour of his skin beginning to become red with anger and Hoseok silently walks over to the cabinet to grab a knife. Jimin watches his breath hitching slightly at the sight of a blade dancing off the few beams of sunlight blazing through the windows.


"Now Jimin, we can do this the easy way or the hard way, I know I would prefer the easy way. I guess you know what Sasins do to people who don't cooperate?" I ask as Hoseok runs his index over the blunt side of the blade a grin so sadistic it even makes my stomach tighten. "My friend Hoseok here will only cut you if you lie to us, so don't lie Jimin, I don't want you to get hurt." My voice is genuine; I don't want him to get hurt if the situation was different I feel like we could have been friends if he wasn't a snake and I wasn't an Eagle.


"I told you I don't know an Adder." Hoseok steps forward and grabs Jimin's head violently; a loud cry falls from Jimin's lips as Hoseok begins cutting the skin behind the back of his right ear, blood pouring steadily down his neck.


"We will make this easier; you tell us where Adder is, and I promise my friend won't skin you alive okay?" Jimin spits, the saliva landing on Yoongi's shoe and the man turns crimson, lunging forward and punching him straight in the jaw so hard the chair topples onto the concrete floor with a hefty thump.


"Tell us where Adder is!" Yoongi spits pulling Jimin back up by yanking at his hoodie's collar. "You're going to die either way so best not do it in vain, snake." Jimin chuckles, the outline of hyung's fist sits prominently on his jaw, but he seems unaffected.


"Snake, that's funny," Hoseok steps forward again and grabs Jimin's hand, he begins twisting the point of the blade into the tip Jimin's middle finger, and Jimin lets out an almighty cry of pain, tears falling down his cheeks as he squirms to get loose. "Ow! Please! I swear I don't know anything, Kwan doesn't tell me anything please!" Hoseok stops at the name.


"Kwan?" Jimin realises he slipped up, we now know Adder's real name, oh this is good. I jump up from the desk I perched myself on and walk over to the man wriggling in pain as blood drips onto the floor, his fingers twitching at the deep gaping hole.


"Jimin where is Kwan?" I ask softly, and he looks up at me tears falling, he shakes his head whimpering.


"I can't tell you, please; I don't know anything!" He begs but Hoseok grabs his hand again and this time digs into his thumb, he kicks out yelling painfully, and I lift a hand to stop hyung for a second.


"Let me talk to him," I say, and both hyungs fall back ready to strike again if need be. I stand there for a moment watching the rich red blood trickle out of his now limp hand; he's shaking slightly. I walk over to the desk and grab a bottle of water, I walk back over to him, and he watches unsure. I indicate for him to lift his head so I can give him some water, "I'm not going to hurt you," I softly speak, and he tilts his head back slightly so I can hydrate him. Hoseok and Yoongi turn and look at each other, giving the same look.
"Gguk," Yoongi starts, but I hold a hand up to let me do this, torture isn't going to get it out of him.


"I'm going to ask you something Jimin. I promise they won't hurt you if you tell me the truth okay?" He gives a small nod, an innocent nod, one that complies because he is beyond terrified and I feel sorry. This isn't good, I shouldn't have sympathy for a snake, but there's something about this boy that sits uneasily in my stomach, I don't want to see him hurt. "Your cousin, he has someone we need," Jimin shakes his head telling me instantly that he doesn't know anything, "just let me finish? That someone is important to us, someone very special and he took him. I have reason to believe you do know something Jimin; you know where he is don't you?" He shakes his head hard, whimpering once more.

"Please, I don't know anything I swear!"

 

"Kim." His eyes go full, and he gulps loudly a painful gulp, he begins shaking his head again.

 

"I don't know anything I swear."


I sigh lifting his head up and looking directly at him, "if you know where Kim is Jimin, please tell me, that man-"


"Jeongguk that's enough" Hoseok snaps and walks forward dragging me away, but I jolt back away from his grip.


"No! He knows where Kim is! I can't fucking sleep at night knowing he is out there and should be with me!" Jimin freezes mouth open in shock, Hoseok and Yoongi both stare dazedly. A silence falls over the room only the tap of blood falling and his heavy breathing hindering complete and utter muteness.


"Gguk go!" Yoongi directs sternly pointing at the door, "if he knows where Kim is we will find out." I turn to look back at the boy.


"I don't want you to kill him," I say and all eyes land on me in disbelief.


"It's not up to you if we kill him or not, it's Boss's decision."


"What just like it was his decision to take Kim away from me?"


Silence once again, this time it's uncomfortable, and I watch Yoongi's face twists into anger.


"Kim was not our fault; it was Adder, this snake Gguk knows where he is, we will find Kim."


"Beijing," a small voice croaks and we all turn, I blink heavily trying to work out if he really did speak or if my mind is playing tricks on me. "He's in Beijing." My heart begins to pound in my chest, my lungs become tight, and I collapse to the ground on my knees in front of Jimin, the man stares back at me gulping hard. "Adder is in Beijing, a business trip to get more women." All three of us listen, Hoseok quickly grabs a notepad to write this all down. "He's left Boa in charge, they moved lairs, settling away from Seoul when your gang overtook their district, they plan to bomb the City Fate, kill that CEO and take power, they want control over idols entirely." Hoseok's eyes attach onto Jimin, I can see his face turning sour unsure if to believe the boy.


"Seokjin?" he asks and Jimin nods biting his bottom lip, "when?"


"I don't know, he said they have insiders within his business keeping tabs on him, please I don't know anything else." I turn to look at Yoongi who nods, I get up and grab the first aid kit. "They did say something about Kim," he says sheepishly, and I turn back to look at him, "Taehyung right?" My lungs fail after hearing him say his name; I took to calling him Kim to make it less personal, to not let him vanishing effect me as much.


"Yeah, Taehyung," I say just above a whisper, pools of memories come crashing over my mind, and I feel faint. He's alive.


"Where is Taehyung?" Hoseok asks bitterly, and Jimin doesn't even look at him as he replies, just keeps his eyes fixed on me.


"With Cobra." My heart sinks, Cobra alongside Adder is the most dangerous, he has a reputation to be disgustingly angry and possessive, if Kim is with him, there is little to no chance we are getting anywhere near him. "I don't know where! Adder doesn't tell me much, please, that's all I know."


Yoongi nods believing him, "if that's all he knows then Hoseok." I stand up as Hoseok grabs the gun.


"No!" I yell yanking hyung's hand away with the gun directed at Jimin; the man quivers knowing he doesn't have much time left. "Hyung, don't! We can use him; he's close to Adder, let's use him as a spy!" They think this over.


"How do we know he won't snitch?" I turn to look at Jimin, his eyes brimming with abhorrence, I turn back to face Yoongi.


"Because I'll be with him, I'll take him under my wing; I'll show him why we are the best. We can get Kim if we use him, please hyung. I'll make him a Sasin." Yoongi nods at Hoseok to disarm the gun, and I feel a weight lift off of my shoulders at the click of the safety being put back on.


"Fine, but if he steps a single foot out of line, I will shoot you in the head and make him watch." I know that is a promise he will abide by, he's killed men in our gang before, those who become too drunk on the idea of power. "You're explaining to Boss though why this fucker isn't dead." I nod understanding.


"Thank you hyung, Jimin will become one of us." I turn to look back at the boy, his face cold and eyes stick to mine like shards of glass in the flesh, I give a small smile, and he instantly turns away.


"Keep him here, train him, fucking beat him until he understands that snakes can't escape an eagles claw." Yoongi gets up and leaves, closely followed by the footsteps of Hoseok and the door heavily clangs shut, and I am left with the silence of this terrified man in front of me. This could be a mistake, but if it gets me Taehyung, it's worth every inch of misery I have suffered not knowing where he is.

 


 

SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 20.45PM 

I am called to the Boss's head office, and I already know what's going to be said. Yoongi hyung has remained wary that we did not fulfil the Boss's plan, but I think it's going to create a better outcome than just killing him straight away. The building is silent, clean and looks like a general office (that's what it is), bodyguards riddle the hallways and as I step in the receptionist nods her head for me to go through. My footsteps echo on the stairs, and I hum gently to myself to avoid my thoughts overtaking. Kim is alive.


I reach the top floor, I've been here many times in the past, Seokjin allows the four of us to be shown in his normal life because none of our names or faces is known to the Public. We have code names, like the snakes but less, fucking stupid. I am just known as Sniper, Namjoon is Brain, Yoongi is Shadow and Hoseok is Slasher. Those names bring fear, not fucking Adder or Cobra.


I knock on the door and wait for the mumble of 'enter', I open to see Seokjin standing and looking out at Seoul through his magnificent skyline window. "You called me hyung?" I ask, and he turns to face me his face stern, but I continue to smile. His clothes are the usual beyond expensive pristine suit, but his tie has been flung over the chair and has the first two buttons undone, his broad shoulders tensing.


"Sit down Gguk," he instructs, and I quickly comply by taking a seat at his desk, watching him hold a glass of whiskey, he looks troubled.


"Something the matter Boss?" I ask rubbing the back of my neck as his eyes connect with mine; he isn't happy I can tell. From years of knowing how far to push him I've learnt every single emotion, this emotion he is expressing is repressed annoyance, and if I am not careful he will chuck that whiskey glass at me, and he will not miss.


"Gguk why isn't the man I asked you to kill dead? Did I stutter? Did I not make my intentions clear to you?" Straight in there, that's another thing I've learnt and taken to doing myself, no bullshit or messing around, dive straight into the problem and don't pitter-patter around it. Seokjin does that very well; he is a busy man who doesn't need to be kept waiting for stupid games or unimportant chat.


"No Boss you didn't stutter. Park is going to help us bring down baem gumeong."


"How exactly?" This voice is wavering, and I can tell he's mad.


"I am going to train him hyung, teach him the ways of a Sasin and use him as a spy against his own cousin. Kill Adder, get Kim and get rid of him after. Use the snake's venom against them hyung, that's what you always tell me, this is some pretty fucking strong venom!" His gaze is stern, a little unnerving but I know his bark is worse than his bite.

 

"Fine train him, he's your responsibility now, if he snitches you'll be punished, he could destroy this whole plan you do know that right?" I nod, I understand it very much, and that's why I am going to protect and befriend Jimin to make sure he is loyal. "See if he will tell you anything else, I want to know as much as I can about this Kwan. Train him and then bring him to me, if he doesn't meet my standards or I think he will in any way ruin the plan I will shoot him on site and then you, I want nothing but loyalty do you understand that?"


"Yes hyung, I understand."


"Good, now go train him." I nod standing up and walking towards the door.


"We are going to get him back hyung, I know it." With that I leave, not knowing where Kim is has riddled our minds every waking moment and even in our dreams, he was, is, the most special person in my life. We have a bond. I don't want to say what he was to me because it's something I hold close to my chest, but we were more than friends. I guess I love him; I don't really know, what I do know is that I feel fucking empty without him and I need him back, it's been too long, six fucking months of not a single hint at where he is. It's driven me insane, and now Jimin is going to help me get him back, if I have to battle fucking 5000 warriors and trek across the world I will do it in a heartbeat to see Taehyung again, I'd do anything for him.

 

21.32PM

"Good evening," I say opening the nest's door to find Jimin sat on the floor in a hunched position as Hoseok sits in the corner twisting the knife with its leather covering on his knee. Jimin looks at me slightly before placing his head back on his own knees. "I brought food, I don't know what you like, but hyung had some leftover kimchi jjigae and pork." At those words, his eyes connect with mine but still no sign of wanting anything to do with it.


"Hyung would you like some?" I ask Hoseok who in a slick movement twirls the knife into his pocket and comes over, I spoon some into a bowl for him, and he heads into the back room humming to himself. I make a dish for him and for myself, I stand there for a second thinking about what I am going to say, he must be terrified.


I decide sitting next to him isn't the best option so I slide the bowl over to him in case he changes his mind to eat. "How is your hand?" I ask, and his look is cold searing through my soul, and I nod, I deserve that. "Hyung cleaned them up well I hope, I don't want your wounds to get infected."


"Why are you doing this? I am not even a snake; I am just a normal boy, I have a degree to get!" He snaps releasing his compressed anger alongside his legs that were tightly drawn against his chest. I let him get it out, "I understand you hate snakes, they hate you just as much, but I am innocent, I told you everything why can't you let me go?" I shake my head munching on the kimchi before answering.


"You know we can't let you go, you know our faces, and you are related to the gang leader, we are not stupid Jimin." He lifts his gaze from mine and onto the food, "eat, I'm not going to kill you." His glare stares right back at me again, and I feel like it's going to take longer than I thought to befriend him.


"I wish you would kill me; I am no use to you."


"You are, you're going to be very important Jimin. Boss wants me to train you, make you a Sasin, treat you like one of our own. I am responsible for you, if you slip up so do I in their eyes, they hurt you they hurt me, we are now a pair. You are going to help me get Kim back." Jimin ponders on this finally taking the bowl and nibbling at its contents slightly.


"How did you know I was related to Kwan?"


"Brain did a background check on you."


"Brain?" I nod, "is that his real name?"


"No, Namjoon is his real name, the men that hurt you are my hyungs, Shadow and Slasher." Jimin snorts.


"Those names are stupid."


I laugh with him, "yeah I know, that's why I call them by their names usually, those are just the names the gang know them by, Sasins are secretive Jimin we don't flaunt around like snakes."


"What's your name?" He asks seemingly more comfortable now which I am pleased about; I don't do well with awkward situations like that, not when I don't have a motive to kill them.


"Sniper." His eyes widen, "heard of me?"


"But Kwan always told me Sniper was old, not a nineteen-year-old idiot!" I would snigger at that, "boy if he knew."


"He isn't going to find out." Jimin nods understanding the severity of the situation.


"What about Kim? What was his name?" I stop for a moment, the rush of memories flooding back in and I can hear his laugh. "What happened to him? Why do you want him back so bad?"


I lift my head to look at him, a flurry of emotions taking over my body and I feel my breath becoming shorter and my eyes welling up, but I laugh it off. Jimin just sits there with a sympathetic look in his eyes waiting for my reply. "His name was Ghost; he taught me everything I know just like I am going to teach you. He's a good man, if I am honest I don't know what happened, Boss sent him out on a mission with twenty other men to take down one of the snake's sex pits, and he never came back. Up until you came along we didn't know if he was dead or alive. We had inklings that he was still alive but because on the recovery mission we found all twenty men dead we just assumed Kim was gone too. But like his name, he vanished, we never found his body."


"Why do you want him back so bad? It sounds like he betrayed you." Those words don't sit comfortably with me, and I shake my head violently trying to bat the words away but they are there now, seeping into my brain and there goes my chance of sleep for the next two nights.


"Kim wouldn't betray us; we are his family, he wouldn't betray me, he-" I stop myself from talking feeling like I have let too much out already and Jimin doesn't question more which I am thankful for.


"Did you get in trouble for keeping me alive?" He asks thankfully changing the subject, and I laugh.


"Not really, the hyung's can't get mad at me; I'm the youngest in the gang, so they all have a soft spot for me." Jimin nods, "They are not always that violent, they are good people. Hoseok hyung might come across as a psychopath, but he's a ball of sunshine really, same for Yoongi hyung he just has a hard time expressing emotions. You'll get on well with Namjoon I can tell. You'll be part of the family in no time as long as you follow my rules."


"What are those rules?" he asks tucking into the kimchi once more.


"You have to follow everything I say, to be a Sasin you need to be able to listen, you need endurance and strength mentally and physically, you cannot show the enemy you have weaknesses, cry on the inside if needed. It will be tough; I will have to strip you of everything you have, you will no longer be the Jimin you are now, you will become a ruthless killer that can strike at any moment." Jimin sniggers just finding it hilarious, "it's not funny!" I say trying to hold back my own giggles, but his face just looks so funny and cute when he smiles. I didn't just say that.


"We will begin training in the morning, you'll be living here from now on, I'll go to your apartment if you want and get you anything you need, but I can't let you leave not until I know I have your loyalty." Jimin nods continuing to eat, "I think we are going to be good partners Jimin, I don't want to see you hurt and that might make me fucking soft or idiotic, but I like you, you remind me of Kim."


"I'll try and not disappoint you Jeongguk, I understand my fate, to be honest, I don't really like my cousin that much he's an asshole who always picked on me when I was younger because he's older and bigger. I want to help you get your friend back." Those words bring comfort to my soul, and I smile knowing that for now Jimin is being compliant and it's my chance to turn him into a Sasin, when I am done this cute and friendly man will be a brutal killing machine. A true Eagle.

 

Chapter Text

 

SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 17 JULY// 05.15AM 

The morning air was warm, warmer than the night before so waking up this early didn't seem as bad as I thought. Hyung has trusted me in training Park to become a deadly killer, and although I have never taught anyone, he seems to be the cooperative type. I jump onto my skateboard and head to the nest where Park is being kept. I am eager to get started and waking up early is vital in training, Kim continuously woke me up before the sun had even thought of raising its head above the horizon and some days Taehyung's presence was enough to replace the burning star, his smile was always enough.


I shake the thoughts of the man out of my head, being weak and sappy isn't something I want to reveal to the world. I cruise along peacefully without the worry of snakes coming into my path, Gangnam-gu is Sasin territory, and you would have to be absolutely fucking mental to even step a foot inside this part of Seoul if you were a snake. It has happened, happens about twice every two months and yet each time we plough them down effortlessly, I don't know what they are trying to achieve other than to get killed. I don't deal with that though, that's Hoseok's job, his mice tell him quickly enough when a snake comes into the nest to steal eggs, and us Eagles do not hesitate to attack. They will never beat us, we are too powerful, we have the whole city on our sides, the big men back us, and that's all thanks to Seokjin.


"Get up," I direct pulling the duvet away from a sleeping Jimin; he moans curling into himself at the sudden brisk air falling onto his skin. I stand there waiting for him to move, his blonde hair is a mess, and he has the faintest line of dried drool on his cheek, and I can't help but smile at it. "Up, come on we don't have time," I yank his leg slightly, and he jolts letting out a loud extended groan at my touch before giggling.


"Stop, I'm ticklish!" he squirms as I keep my grasp on his toned leg shaking it to wake him up, he opens his eyes and stares directly at me, the light of the dawn seeps down into the nests from the back window, and his dark eyes shine slightly. I smile at him letting go of his leg as he sits up yawning. "Why so early?" He asks sleepily as he looks at the clock before stretching his back muscles with a sharp crack of his neck. I stand there tapping my foot as his unwillingness to actually get up from the bed as he preoccupies himself with sorting his mop of a hair out.


"I told you, Sasins' have no time to mess around, your training starts now." He moans falling back onto the bed, and I sigh lunging forward and grabbing his hand to yank him off the bed. The plan backfires, and he jolts into my stomach, winding me in the process, he lets out a gasp of concern as I wince at the lack of air before pathetically giving him a thumbs up to say I am okay. That hurt like a bitch and now I am going to make his training five times harder.


"Training does not include winding your teacher Jimin," I state composing myself once more as he awkwardly chuckles rubbing the back of his head muttering apologies under his breath. "Get dressed; training begins in ten." I walk out subtly holding my stomach to go find what is needed for training.

 

05.30AM

"So what are we actually doing?" Jimin asks finally awake; he's watching me as I set out weapons in front of him ranging from simple pocket knives to assault rifles. "Do I need to kill people?" I turn and look at him to see if he is serious, considering his face seems in no way shape or form joking I would say he is and I am questioning if he understands what a Sasin is. I nod and his face sinks, "I'll have to kill people?" Again, I nod turning back to load a handgun. He doesn't say anything else and just follows me as I tell him what each weapon is for.


"You most likely won't need anything other than a handgun and a knife, but I'll teach you how to use them anyway. Killing is just one part of being a Sasin; I'll have to bulk you up on defence in case you come into a situation with no weapon. You work out correct?" He blinks at me slightly; I don't see what he isn't understanding.


"I'm sorry I wasn't listening what did you say?" I sigh rubbing the bridge of my nose, and he chuckles. "Kidding, I was listening. Yeah, I work out, I do dance, so endurance is in my DNA." I only stare at him, and he giggles once more before pointing at the machine gun. "How come you can get away with having all these guns? Don't the police come after you?" I smirk at that picking it up, he moves back slightly unsure on my actions, and I look at him and then at the beautiful piece of weaponry in my grasp.


"No, Boss has the Police on our side, we own them." Jimin's eyes widen in confusion at how a gang could own the Police force. "We pay them a hefty check to keep them in line each month, plus Boss has his... connections." I am not ready to release Seokjin's identity to a boy I have only just got on our side; I may never tell him or at least I won't until I have absolute loyalty.


"Did Kim teach you all of this?"


"Yeah, I was fifteen."


"That's young."


"Didn't have a choice it was either become a killer or be killed."


"Why?"


"Parents owed money to the gang when they didn't pay up they fled, didn't even have the audacity to tell their son. I came home from school to find the house in a complete tip, and Yoongi hyung was sat there on the torn up couch pointing a gun at me. Asked him what the fuck he thinks he was doing making a mess and that Mother would flip when she returns, he just smirked and grabbed me by the collar and lead me here." I open my arms wide as Jimin looks around the nest, "this place is my home now, hated it to begin with, but Kim taught me to love it, just like I will for you."


Jimin snorts chuckling, "you talk some utter shit you know that?" I shrug, "come on then teach me to be one of you we don't have all day!" I roll my eyes before starting on the training. He listens intently to everything I say, asking questions that are pretty fucking stupid but I answer them none the less, he's better with a gun than I thought he would be, I was expecting a quivering mess that couldn't even look down the barrel of a gun, but again I was pleasantly surprised. Jimin I am learning is continuously breaking my prejudgements, and I like that, reminds me of Kim, a man full of surprises, mysterious.


"Who is the better Sasin, you or Kim?" Jimin asks wiping his sweat after the intense workout I put him through; I'll bulk up those muscles in no time. I snort at the question grabbing a bottle of water and taking a sip, he watches the action, and I hand it to him to take some as well.


"Probably Kim, I have more kills, but he's fucking lethal!"


"How so?"


"Killed three men with one bullet once, half the time the victim doesn't even know what's coming, he's like a ninja." Jimin finds that comment funny muttering ninja under his breath. "No seriously, that's why he is called Ghost; I like to make my presence known, I want the man to know I am the reason he is dead, Kim he prefers silent and deadly."


"Isn't that what people call farts?"


I roll my eyes, "and you called me the child!" Jimin chuckles again, but the laughter is broken by the sound of the metal door rattling shut and in walks Min Yoongi.


"Ah, training started then?" I nod watching Jimin curl into himself slightly at the presence of the older man; I am not surprised considering the large bruise on the side of his jaw is a result of the fist of the other. "Apologise for the jaw, just doing my job snake." Jimin glares at him slightly at the nickname but doesn't dare retort. "Boss wants to see you later Gguk, don't ask why because I don't know. Slasher and I are off to find that fucker who decided to chop Chen's ear off and mail it to us; Brain tracked him down again don't ask me how because I don't know. I probably won't be back till late so don't wait up."


"I wasn't planning to hyung." I snigger, and his face turns sour.


"Fuck you! You know what, I am not taking you out for lamb skewers this month because of that remark." I frown at the privilege being taken away from me, that's hyung's treat every month for me, it's a great bonding experience. "Is the snake doing good?" I sigh this time at his constant jabs at Jimin.

 

"Yes hyung, Jimin is doing well." He only hums in agreement watching the younger boy sternly as he looks anywhere but the eyes of the other. "I suspect at this rate it may take less than two months until he is ready." Jimin lifts his head to that, and I smile, "he's doing well." Yoongi scoffs walking away slightly.


"Careful Gguk you sound like you're in love, Kim wouldn't like that too much." Jimin's eyes shoot back to the ground as I flip the elder off for his unnecessary comment. "Relax I am sure Kim wouldn't mind sharing you, I mean your new friend probably won't last long after he returns." With that comment, he leaves. Silence follows as Jimin sits there uncomfortably and I try to work out what the hell to say.


"Ignore him, Kim will love you." No reply. "He wouldn't kill you, you're my partner killing you means killing me too, and he wouldn't do that." Jimin nods slightly lifting his head to meet my eyes; he gulps before opening his mouth to say something, something I have never had to explain before.


"You are in love with him?" How do I even begin to explain my relationship with him? I don't really know what we are; I don't know what my feelings are because I have never felt them before. The question buzzes around in my brain with no reply coming quick, so Jimin changes it slightly. "Were you two together?" I nod without thinking but quickly change to a violent shake which rattles my brain giving me a headache.


"No, we weren't together. We were partners, like you and I." Jimin furrows his eyebrows pouting slightly in confusion.


"But you were more than partners?" 


"I mean we fucked yeah but we never were official if that's what you are saying, Boss wouldn't allow that."


"Why?"


"Love gets you killed."


"Metaphorically or actually?"


"Both, love makes you weak, a Sasin can't have weaknesses. Love makes you do stupid things; you can't be stupid. We can't risk being tied down, in case we drown. So no, we weren't more than partners, and no I don't love him." Jimin nods not seeming to believe me, but it's the truth, or at least the truth I want to believe.


If Boss found out about myself and Taehyung we would be forced apart, just like we are now but it would be a hundred times more excruciating because I would know he is there, I would see him but not be able to hold him. A Sasin has to be strong, but he is my weakness, my only weakness.


"I don't think love makes you weak Jeongguk," Jimin says after a moment of silence, and I turn to look at him cocking my eyebrow, he blinks reassuringly at me with a small smile. "Love is a strength, yes it can make you do stupid things, but love isn't a curse if anything it's the opposite. I have known you less than a day, and I can already tell how much Kim means to you even if you refuse to see it yourself." I shake my head standing up; I don't want to hear this.


"Let's not mention Kim anymore okay? I don't love him, and love is dangerous Jimin, Sasins are not made for that they are made to kill. Violence will be your only lover got it?" He nods slowly as I walk away irritated by how weak I must seem to him, I am never like this, why is he able to open me up like this? I don't like it; it's dangerous if Boss catches me telling him this much I'll be punished if he finds out about Kim I am dead. "Let's not mention this to anyone okay? I'll get shot." Jimin frowns at that information but doesn't disagree. This is the last time Taehyung will flood my thoughts without some sort of protest.

 

07.12AM

"Anything in particular that you want?" I ask Jimin as I get ready to go to his apartment and pick anything up that he needs. He sits on his bed pondering, probably envisioning his whole living space in search of anything he needs. An innocent hum comes from his plump lips as he rests his index finger on the side of his bottom lip. He really must be thinking it over because I stand there for a good five minutes before he speaks.


"Toiletries in the top drawer in the bathroom, my watch on my bedside table, the photo of my Mother is there too and some of my clothes, I don't care which ones because I like all of them." I nod taking note in my head of everything he says, "oh and my teddy," I screw my nose up at him, "it was a gift okay?" He whines, and I shake it off, he calls me the child.


I grab a backpack to fit all these items in, "keys?" I ask holding my hand out, and he reluctantly gives them over.


"Am I really never allowed to leave?" I nod, and he pouts. "Why? I'm not going to run away, I pay good money for that apartment, what if people ask? I mean my University is going to work out pretty quick that I am not going to my lessons, which might I add I never miss!"


I sigh, not having the time to explain every little detail to this man who is so adamant on getting away. "They won't ask, we called the University, or Brain did at least and said you have gone on holiday that's bought us time. I am going to leave a message in your flat about you not returning, and if any snake arrives to find you, they will be met with a note saying you're away for a while. Just until we sort something permanent out, also just to see if you will last this long we never know you might cock up and have a bullet in your head in a couple weeks." His eyes widen at that, and I smile at his sudden worry. "If you have a bullet in your head so will I."


"You were serious about us being partners? Would they really kill you?" I nod, "what sort of gang kills their most trusted members?"


"A gang that doesn't do anything but the best, even us top dogs can slip up and be slaughtered, all it takes is one foot out of line and Boss will not hesitate."


"Is that why you want Kim back? So Boss can kill him?"


"I already told you, Kim didn't betray us."


"Fine if you say so."

"But yes, Boss wants Kim back so he can find out what the fuck happened."


"Who is your Boss?"


"You'll find out soon enough, he'll be the one making sure you're loyal, he's the one you need to impress."


"What if I am not as loyal as he thinks?"


"Then we both are dead."


"How do I prove I am loyal?"


I shrug, I know the answer, but I am not about to plant that seed of worry in Jimin's head right now, I have only just got him willing to become a Sasin.


"It depends Boss will come up with something."


"What did you have to do?"


"What do you mean?"


"How did you prove you were loyal?"


I laugh at the question reminiscing.


"Are you sure you want to know?" He nods probably not thinking of the consequences. "I had to track down my parents and kill them." His eyes widen to the point where I think any wider and his eyelids would tear at the sides all the way to his temples. I snigger at his reaction, "they were my first kills," He shakes his head unable to fathom what I just said, "it wasn't hard, they were cunts, and Kim helped me, it wasn't a pleasant death you know watching your only son slice your throat, but it had to be done."


"You killed your parents?" He squeaks.


"Yes, they ran away from the gang, they owed a shit ton of money, and they were cowards who left their son to die by the gang. Would have been a pretty nasty shock to see their kid with an Eagle on his jacket and a knife in his hand."


"Do you not regret that?"


"Not at all, these guys are my family, you will be part of this family. To be a Sasin Jimin you can't care about who you are killing, no connection and no emotion."
"But you didn't want them to kill me, you cared?"


"Yeah, I did, and that's the first fucking time as well and hopefully the last."


"So if your Boss told you to kill Kim would you?" Here we go back onto the subject of Taehyung. Honestly, I have never thought this much about him in the past six months, most of the time I pathetically try to push him out my mind, but Jimin makes sure he is now an unwilling resident inside my thoughts.


"Yes Jimin, if Boss told me to kill Kim, I would. I would kill you; I would kill Yoongi hyung, Hoseok hyung. If Boss needs them gone, then they are gone."


"You really would kill everyone you hold dear because of your Boss?"


"Obedience is what keeps me alive Jimin, refusing would put me in the Han before I could even plea."


"How can you live like that?"


"It's not living Jimin; it's surviving."


"Don't you want to live? You know have a normal life without being controlled?"


"What I do isn't about being controlled, these people are my family, they cared for me when I was alone. Yes, they kill people and are part of the largest gang in Korea, but they don't control me."


"So if you were to just leave tomorrow they wouldn't hunt you down?"


I know where he is going with this, and I don't want to think about it, I am not controlled. I do my duty willingly.


"Let's drop this subject; I need to go get your shit. Stay here; I think Hoseok hyung will be here soon."


"Oh joy!" Jimin sarcastically squeals clasping his hands together; I smile at his distaste towards Hoseok.


"He isn't that bad; he won't be here long probably just pick up some weapons to track down that snake and then be off. Brain will be next door soon too; work starts late for him today because he has meetings in the morning with Boss."


"I like Brain," Jimin says looking at his stitches on his hand; I hum before grabbing the empty backpack and shutting the door. I remind the bodyguard at the metal entrance to not let that man out just in case he decides to flee whilst I am away, can't risk anything and with that, I grab my skateboard and cruise on down the street towards Jimin's apartment. I touch the gun inside my jacket pocket just in case a snake has decided to take a look at where Adder's cousin has suddenly disappeared to.

 

 


 

 

SEOUL - MAPO-GU // 08.35AM

When I arrive at Jimin's apartment block people are getting ready to go to work, I put my hood up and have a mask over my mouth just in case Snakes decide to come out of their pit. I hold the gun in my pocket securely, locked and loaded to take a life if needed. I hastily two steps up the stairs to the third floor and along to Jimin's apartment, number 58. I check the surroundings before entering, no one in close proximity who might question who I am and why I am entering this student’s home.


The apartment smells exactly like Jimin; it's a sweet scent, one you could easily picture when he smiles. It's a small place, compact but nice, tidy and screams 'student living on a budget'. I walk down the narrow hallway to the open living area; he has books strewn all over the place, I feel bad, he's never going to get to go back to University. I don't ponder around the subject too long; I have to be quick, stealthy, I don't really want to kill anyone today. I go over the list in my head, toiletries top draw, a picture of Mum, watch on the table, clothes, teddy. I head into the bathroom; it's compact like the rest of the place, it's surprisingly tidy, Jimin doesn't seem like an overly neat person. I hum rummaging through the top draw; it's just the usual, cologne, shampoo and conditioner, toothbrush, toothpaste, moisturiser, toner, some charcoal face mask. Now this screams Jimin, of course he would have a lengthy skin care routine, I continue picking through it finding seaweed infused scrubs and cocoa butter full body toner, I sigh, Jimin isn't going to be able to keep up like this, he isn't an idol in training, he's a Sasin now. He can't look dainty and cute.

I stuff all the shit into a bag before heading to his bedroom, it's simple, minimalist and white, but it isn't plain, it screams Jimin in the sense of having a charming, homey vibe that Jimin could probably create in any sort of living space. I hurry up grabbing the simple Rolex watch and the photo of his Mother; he looks like her, a cute wide smile that lights up the whole picture effortlessly. I smile at it quickly before chucking it into the bag, my eyes fall on the plush toy perched lovingly on his bed, the pride of place in the middle of his cushions, a kitten. I snort, of course, Jimin would have a fucking cat toy, I just pick it up gently, it's worn slightly like he's loved it a lot and it's undeniably cute, I never had any stuffed toys, didn't really have anything growing up.


I'm about to leave the bedroom when I hear the door open, "Jimin?" a gruff voice yells out, and I sharply tuck myself behind the door out of sight, gun loaded and ready to fire. "Jimin? Where the fuck are you, why haven't you replied to my messages?" The voice calls out again, he sounds angry, I can hear his footsteps walking through the main living space, I curse at not really wanting to kill someone inside Jimin's apartment, it will be hard to clean, and Jimin has a lovely cream fur rug splayed on his floor.


The footsteps seem to falter a second and I wonder if they realise someone is here, I mean I don't know how considering I cover my tracks, a loud sigh can be heard, and I pull the gun up high at his footsteps being closer. The bathroom door is snapped open and I know he's searching for something, it's evident Jimin isn't here. Just when I think the footsteps are leaving my phone chimes, I close my eyes scowling deeply at whatever fucker decided now was the right time to message me.

"Oh no, you should really put your phone on silent if you're going to fucking rob," the voice calls out getting louder, I move from my place behind the door at the exact same time the man appears in the doorway.


"Who the fuck are you? Where's Jimin?" He asks holding his hands up after seeing the gun; I don't reply, just hold it up to his face as his gaze flickers between the barrel and my eyes which are trained on his every move. "You're an Eagle aren't you?" He hisses, and I grin beneath the mask, my silence is all he needs to know before he's chuckling. "You're brave coming here; I'm guessing you know who's flat you're in?" His gaze flickers down the bag in my other hand; he perks an eyebrow, "what are you doing with that?" I just shove the gun in his face, "Woah, steady there crow; I'll ask you again who the fuck are you?"


"Sniper," I reply blunt, and his eyes widen slightly, "heard of me?" I ask scoffing as he shuffles slightly on his feet, his face says it all. I take this moment to look him over, unmistakably a snake, a gaudy tattoo on his neck which looks like some half-arsed job of a Python, that must be his name. Python, don't recognise it, must be a lower rank.

"Where's Jimin? Adder's going to fucking kill me if I lose him," I laugh at that humorlessly.


"That's the least of your worries mate," I say pushing the gun at him again, he falters back pressing into the wall, I've got him cornered, there's no way of him getting out of this now.


"Mate? I'd never be your fucking mate, crow." I hum, tilting my head and looking into his eyes; anger rises within me from the degrading nickname.


"Shame a fucking crow is the last thing you're going to see." With that I fire the gun at his head, his skull shatters all over the fucking wall, brain matter and a fucking eyeball flying across the wooden flooring, I curse at the blood splattered on my face and clothing. His body limps and pathetically flops onto the floor, blood oozing out in a rhythmic flow pooling and unfortunately seeping into Jimin's rug. I wipe my face with a cloth I carry before stepping over the body, I'll have to come to clear this up later, but for now, I should get back to Jimin, probably best to not mention the murder scene in his bedroom.


I quickly lock the room before heading down the flights of stairs, no ones around which I thank the gods for, hopefully, people didn't hear the gunshot, if I had known I would have brought a silent one, but I was hopeful. I reach the car and take the opportunity to look at which annoying fucker decided to text me in the middle of a mission.

UNKNOWN: Heyy!! This is so cool, Namjoon hyung gave me a new phone because I was bored, don't forget my teddy!!

I roll my eyes, of course, it was fucking Park Jimin, I'll have to tell him off later, but he'll probably just come back with a smart remark about me being irresponsible and not turning my phone on silent whilst on the job. Kim would have clipped me around the ear if he was here, probably would have mumbled something like, fucking idiot, before smiling widely at me, he was never able to stay angry at me for long, said I was too adorable for that. I always found it hilarious how he could go from cooing at me to blowing a mans head off in less than two seconds, the duality of Kim Taehyung.

HYUNG: Get your arse over to Boss's office, important meeting, we have something on Kim.

I stare at the text message from Yoongi, I furrow my brows, it's strange how we've spent six months not having any clue if he was dead or alive and suddenly he just appears, well not appears, but at least we now know he's still breathing. I still can't stop the hitch in my heart whenever Taehyung's name is mentioned somewhere amongst the gang, I've heard lower men talk shit about him, how he's a traitor and deserves to be shot, I've killed a few but Yoongi told me to grow some balls and not kill the fucking wrong side. I've learnt to bite my tongue but there's no stopping the pit of anger when I hear someone say something about him, I just wish he was here. 

 


 

 

SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 09.53AM

I arrive at hyung's office quickly as possible, I dropped off the items for Jimin much to his delight to see all his skincare products, insisting that I need a charcoal mask desperately on my nose, he's not coming anywhere near me with that stuff. The office is packed with workers, some gaze at me as I walk through, must be strange for them to see a boy in a leather jacket and ripped jeans waltzing through the place as they begin their shifts for the day. Some give me knowing looks, knowing that I have some relation to Seokjin, most assume I'm a younger brother for something along those lines. None, of course, realize I'm Seokjin's most trusted assassin; I mind my own business as I walk through, I decided to take the stairs instead of the lift, knowing that people will be crammed into it, would rather not have that on a hot morning.


The door opens almost instantly as I go to knock, Yoongi hyung stands the other side his face stern, and I know that look, something happened, and that something isn't right. He leads me inside the office, Seokjin hyung is sat at his desk, poised and firm looking, he has his glasses on, his attempt at looking somewhat intelligent, not that he isn't, he just always wears them when at work as if he's trying to prove something. To be honest, it does make him look more professional, more intense too. Hoseok is stood to the side of him, his arms crossed in front of him. Namjoon is sat at the side table where meetings are held; he's tapping away at his computer without even looking up as I walk in.


"Gguk, sit down please," Seokjin commands, his voice is monotoned, this isn't good, I turn back to look at Yoongi who has a wry smile on his face, he nudges for me to sit across from Namjoon and I do. Seokjin and Hoseok move across to stand each side of Namjoon, Yoongi stood beside me with a supportive hand resting on my shoulder. The rooms eerily quiet and it isn't helping that I am getting more and more agitated the longer they string this out.


"What is it?" I ask leaning back on the chair; my eyes dart from each of them, Namjoon's looking at me now over the rim of his spectacles having stopped typing, he looks up at Seokjin before turning the laptop towards me.


"Kim, we have reason to believe that he's somehow had his memories hijacked, we know where he is now Jeongguk, Adder wants him seen, he knows we want him," I stare at the page on the screen, this doesn't make any sense, then I remember what Jimin said, Adder wants to take over the idol industry. "Taehyung's being used as an idol now Gguk, he debuts in a months time, we have reason to believe he's somehow had his memories wiped, either that or he's switched gangs."


"He wouldn't do that," I snap quickly, my eyes read over the page, Taehyung always loved singing, when he wasn't on the job he was always doing little performances for me, sometimes I'd sing with him, but I never had the confidence like he did, the picture looks new, he's smiling. His hairs longer, a silver dye, he's wearing a single dangly earring in his right ear, blue contacts and a red silk shirt, unbuttoned to show his clavicle. He looks beautiful; I have to swallow hard at his tense gaze in some of the other images, none of this makes sense.


"Gguk, you do understand what this means correct?" Hoseok asks breaking me away from staring at the man I haven't seen in months, someone I've only seen in my dreams and even then it's distant. I know what this means, Taehyung will have to be abandoned, it's too dangerous for us to go after him now, not when he's in the public eye, they've done this on purpose, flaunt him right in front of our noses knowing we can't get him, not now, not ever.


"There must be a way; we can't just give up!" All of their eyes downcast, they don't know what to tell me, and I get that, I mean it's a pretty fucking awful situation. I don't know what's worse, me thinking he's dead or knowing he's alive, but I can't get to him. "How do you know he's been brainwashed?" I ask after a moment of silence to recollect my thoughts, Namjoon's eyes snatch onto mine as he clears his throat, uncomfortably shifting on his seat.


"I don't Gguk, I just thought it might be a possibility, retrograde amnesia or something, it can be done, they have the medical knowledge. It's either that or Taehyung is willingly-"


"No! Stop saying he chose to do this! He wouldn't, I know him! He wouldn't fucking betray us like this!" I snap pushing away from my chair with brute force, it flying backwards and crashing on the floor with a deafening crack, all four of them watch as I storm out the office, this can't be fucking happening.


"Kid!" Yoongi calls after me, I don't turn round, I need to be alone, I need to think this all through, Taehyung wouldn't, he couldn't, not to me, he would never, I know him. "Stop fucking running away! Gguk!"


"No hyung! Leave me alone! I need to be fucking alone!"


"Kid don't torture yourself, Kim is alive, that's good!"


"He might as well be dead right? He's dead to all of you, no longer care about him, he's useless now!"


Yoongi doesn't reply, that's the brutal truth, Taehyung isn't ours anymore, he's a public figure under a well-known company, there's no way we can even get near him now. I can feel my heart beating fast in my chest, my throat is sore, stuffed with my inability to let other emotions other than anger show. He's fucking gone, I'm never going to see him again, he looked so beautiful, so ethereal, he looked like an entirely different person but yet his eyes were the same, apart from the contacts, but the look was similar, the look he gave me every night as he held me close, his mellow voice humming gently. I haven't slept well ever since, not since he vanished, don't think I ever will, not really.

 

12.32PM

"Where have you been? I've been so bored!" Jimin sighs lying on his bed with his toes splayed and hair ruffled on the cushion, he looks cute, lips pouty and big baggy jumper swallowing him whole. "Gee, what's slapped you round the face?" He chuckles sitting up and tilting his head at me in question; I keep my eyes away from his, I don't want to talk about it right now. "Hey, what happened?" Jimin jolts to his feet and wanders over, I watch him falter if to comfort me or just stand there, his arms lift hesitantly before rubbing my arm, I watch, "sorry," he nervously laughs pulling his hand away quickly.


"Is it Taehyung?" His voice is timid; I don't reply just turn away trying to stop tears from flooding, I need to pull myself together, I'm a Sasin, I can't crumble, I'm bred to kill not cry over a silly boy who got himself captured. "Jeongguk?" His tone is too soft, too caring; he shouldn't be this worried about me, I've brought him into this horrendous world, I'm the one forcing him to comply or be killed. I'm no better than Adder with Taehyung, I'm just as cruel, maybe that's why he never came back home.


"It's nothing Jimin, just tired," I sigh pretending to clear my eyes of tiredness when in fact it's tears, I don't do well in emotional situations like this, I'm not really a people's person, I don't show my emotions but there's something about Jimin's company that makes it feel okay. Jimin gives me a disbelieving look, his eyebrows raised, I give him the fakest smile I can pull, but it doesn't seem to help my case. "Honestly, it's nothing, stop worrying."


"Jeongguk!" Yoongi yells, the metal door banging shut with a loud clatter, I curse under my breath, of course, hyung followed me. "I swear to fucking god if you're moping around still!" Jimin instantly shuffles away from me at the tone of Yoongi's voice, he's pissed off, after all, I did run away from him. He comes storming into the room, his eyes glancing at Jimin who's sat back on the bed trying to hide and then to me, stood in the corner five seconds away from an emotional breakdown if I don't smash something soon.

"What the fuck?" He hisses crossing his arms tight, his dark eyes hardening and zooming in on my face like a target if he didn't like me so much I'd probably be dead right about now.


"What hyung?" I snap back; I'm really fucking pissed off, can everyone stop hassling me? Yoongi sighs loudly, clearly irritated by my tone, Jimin sits there cowering, unsure if to leave the room or sit there and try and blend in with the shadows. "Why are you here? To yell at me some more because I walked away from you? Then go ahead, I don't fucking care right now!"


"Jeongguk," Yoongi deadpans, his gaze softening as his arms fall back to his sides, he quickly glances at Jimin before walking into the room more. "You didn't even let us finish," he barks but it isn't as sharp as it should have been, I always tease that Yoongi is going soft in his old age, he just slaps the back of my head to remind me he's only four years older and that I should respect him, especially because he raised me.


"What's more to say?" To be honest, I'm not interested in the answer, I know it will be on the lines of if Taehyung is cooperating with them that means they know our secrets, they know our identities, and that means he's dangerous and now the enemy, ultimately he'll need to be terminated. Guess who's job that will be? "I'm not fucking killing him hyung."


"I'm not asking you to kill him you fucking moron, will you let me finish?" I just stand there unsure if to bite back at his authoritative tone, he looks annoyed, I shouldn't push it too much, it's still early, hyung probably hasn't even had his second coffee yet, not whilst he's been running around after me.


"Taehyung is fucking useless to us-"


"Why are you reminding me hyung? I already fucking know!"


"Kid shut the fuck up and listen!" I shut up, that voice even made Jimin curl up and want to hide even more than he's currently trying to do. "Taehyung is useless; Adder has him wrapped around his tail, Namjoon reckons he's probably being used within the first circle, idols always are, right now he's their main prize. If what Namjoon is implying about brain hijacking to be true then Taehyung most likely doesn't remember us, probably thinks he's been training to be an idol this whole time, maybe even believe he's a snake." I listen carefully, Yoongi's voice is hushed, but Jimin hears every word, his brows creasing in confusion at this new influx of information, I glance at him, he's holding his teddy close, it's cute, but I'm still two seconds away from punching a wall.


"Boss wants him dead, thinks he's a threat, I don't think so. Hoseok is going to watch him, get his mice to scout around the industry, see if they can watch his behaviour, he's in the public eye now they can't hide all of him, we will find something Gguk. For now, we lay low; we still need to focus on the snakes trying to take down Seokjin, that's our main priority, you for now continue training the snake, maybe he'll become useful when Taehyung debuts next month."


"Taehyung's an idol?" Jimin questions shyly, Yoongi pouts, not impressed he was listening in to their conversation but nods anyway, "that explains it, I'm so sorry I didn't think it was important at the time!" Jimin gasps, his hands covering his mouth in shame, I furrow my brows, "Kwan told me something about him debuting someone, using his contacts with the big three, I'm so sorry if I had known it was Taehyung I would have said!"


"Kid calm down, you're giving me a fucking headache with all that rambling." Yoongi mutters rubbing his temples in aggravation, "Jeongguk continue training the snake, I don't want any fucking slip-ups not now. Boss is on edge we can't afford to crumble now. I know this isn't the news you were hoping for, but we will work something out, I won't let Boss have him killed."


"Why would he be killed?" Jimin asks suddenly, Yoongi glares at him again, he really doesn't like it when people listen in, and I snort at the staring contest they are having with Jimin oblivious to what he's done wrong.

"Boss wants him dead snake because he's one of you now, no longer a fucking eagle poisoned him."


"How do you know that? What if he's pretending? You know, being an Eagle in snakes skin?"


"He'd be a fucking lunatic to try and pull something like that off kid, he knows we would abandon him if he ever was seen with a snake, that's a death sentence right there, he wouldn't risk it by pretending this isn't one of those fairy tales you like, there is no fucking happy ending in gangs." That shuts Jimin up, it's true, Kim isn't going to miraculously pop out of anywhere and say 'surprise, totally pranking you all with me vanishing and becoming a fucking idol under snakes, haha totally funny right?' Just isn't going to happen.

With that Yoongi storms back out the room and it isn't until I hear the clanging of metal again do I somewhat relax. Jimin's just staring at me; I can practically hear his thoughts ticking over what to say to me, "don't even fucking try and think of something to say I don't want to hear it. Kim isn't one of us anymore Jimin; we move on." His pout at that would be adorable in any other situation, it does warm my heart slightly, just slightly, but I really need to let this aggression out before I explode. "Come, we have something to do." I snap marching out of the room; I hear Jimin's feet pattering out of the room like a small puppy trying to keep up with its owner, it just serves to remind me of how Taehyung wanted us to get a dog when we were older and no longer critical to the gang. All fucking lies and false hopes.


I lead him to the gym area, he hasn't seen the part of the den before, and he gawps eyeing up all the machinery and different weights. I head straight for the punching bag; I take one last glance at Jimin standing there with wide eyes at my face turning deadly sharp before they snap onto the punching bag and I let it all out. Punch after punch until I feel my knuckles crack at the pressure, the skin on my hands red and raw, shaking slightly from all the added adrenaline, sweat streaming across my body as I pant wildly, I want this fucking annoying pain in my heart to vanish. For his fucking face in that stupid red shirt to go from my mind but it's imprinted in there his smile, how his eyes are the same, he's fucking betraying me, and I can't do anything about it.


"Jeongguk you're bleeding," Jimin states quickly walking over and grabbing at my hands to see my knuckles torn and swollen. He tuts but doesn't say any more, he knows, for someone I only met yesterday I feel myself warming up to him at an alarming rate, it's dangerous to like people so quickly as a Sasin - even if he is my partner. "How are you supposed to train me looking like this?" He asks shaking his head as he tries to straighten my fingers but I wince, and he quickly stops, "that hurts?" His light brown eyes stare widely at me, he's nibbling at his bottom lip slightly in worry, he really shouldn't be this concerned about the person keeping him hostage.


"No, it doesn't fucking hurt Jimin," I spit pulling my hands out of his before getting ready to go back to the punching bag, his staring is starting to annoy me, and I'm tempted just to deck him to make him stop. I shoot a glare, "what? Why are you fucking staring at me Jimin?" He recoils slightly at my tone but doesn't stand down, just lifts his hand and grabs my wrist to pull it away from the bag.


"Jeongguk, stop hurting yourself, they will find a plan just give it time."


"Yeah, that fucking plan Jimin will be to kill him, I know I said if Boss commanded me to kill him I would but I couldn't, not now I know he's out there, not now that I've seen his fucking stupid face." I slam my head into the bag, Jimin leaps to grab me and pull me away, his mouth agape at the instant lump growing on my forehead and he caresses my cheek as he inspects it. I jump away from his touch, "stop worrying about me Jimin; you shouldn't even fucking like me."


"But I do, Gguk it's been two days, but you're not as bad as what Adder made crows, sorry, Eagles to be like. You're just a kid, a kid tortured by your companion being taken away-"


"He's not my companion."


"Really? Gguk you're a terrible liar, we both know here that to you both it was more than just sex. I get it, he raised you, you feel connected to him on a level many probably will never understand, and now he's been taken away. No, listen, don't run away at those words Jeongguk, listen okay? This doesn't have to be the end; you said you can have me trained within two months right? In that time Taehyung will have debuted, Adder will be back in Korea, let me go to him, or I can talk to him on the phone right? I can be useful here; I said I would help you get Kim back, and that's what I'm going to do."


"Jimin you know we can't let you go to Adder."


"Okay fine, come with me, they don't know your face! I can just say you're a friend from University, Kwan never meets me when he's inside the gang, he would never suspect that you're an Eagle." I think this through if I train Jimin enough then it should be a safe mission; he is our only chance at getting to Taehyung and Adder in reality, he's our chance to bring them down for good, infiltrate the snakes pit and burn them from the inside out.


"You haven't even passed the loyalty test yet Jimin; I'll think about it, if you can prove to me you're willing to become a Sasin then fine, we can try your plan if it doesn't work you do know the consequences?"


"Both be shot." He replies quickly with a head nod, I look at him, he looks determined, and I feel myself smiling at how kind he is towards me, "there we go, smile!" He giggles and I instantly stop just to watch his own smile turn into a pout. "Now, where is your first aid kit? We need to sort your knuckles out, that looks fucking gory."

 

 


 

 

 

SEOUL - MAPO-GU // 14.00PM

"Why are you bringing me to my apartment, you brought everything I needed?" Jimin asks fidgeting in the passenger's seat as he looks out at the familiar roads leading to his now ex-living accommodation. I try to ignore how excited he is to be out of the nest, Yoongi will most definitely kill me if he knew I had taken Jimin out already, but we need to get him in a mindset where it's only Sasin and not 'maybe I'll get to see my cousin if I behave'.


"You're probably not going to like what we are going to do, but it should be over soon if you cooperate Jimin," I smirk at how his face falls dramatically as he goes over thousands of scenarios that could happen when he reaches his apartment, hopefully somewhere in his mind he's thinking about how he's going to have to clear up brain matter in less than ten minutes. "Real life training starts now," I exclaim and his face squirms into something of dread.


"Am I going to kill someone already? Gguk I don't think I'm quite ready for that?" I don't reply; I'm enjoying watching his mind run in circles. Hopefully, it'll be a pleasant surprise when we arrive. I am trying my very hardest to forget about Kim; I can't dwell on it, it isn't good. Yoongi scolded me for blatantly ignoring protocol when around Seokjin, Jin knows I can be hot-headed, heck he practically raised me to be that way but now his suspicions are up again about the relationship between myself and Kim. I spent months after he vanished trying to prove that I wasn't as affected as I was, lying through my teeth that I'm just concerned for my partner and not the fact that I miss seeing his fucking smile.

Although I don't think Seokjin would be livid if he ever learned the full extent of my relationship with Taehyung, I do believe there would be severe consequences. Yoongi has spent many occasions slapping sense into me that I must control my feelings and hide it off to everyone in the gang, including those in the inner circle. I am pretty sure three of them know, Taehyung wasn't exactly careful with his marking and Namjoon has on numerous occasion teased me for looking like a strange leopard. But, Seokjin cannot find out, Taehyung is already in his eyes on the hit list, if it now came to light that I was romantically tied to him that puts me at risk of being suspected as a traitor too. It's pretty fucking obvious I'm not, but it's better to stay of the safe side of Boss.


"Put this on," I tell Jimin as I hand him a face mask; he takes it cautiously before slipping it onto his face. I jump out the car, no one seems to be around, most people are probably at work or at school so we shouldn't need to worry that much about crowds. I go round to the boot and grab what's needed, body bag, bleach, gloves, spare clothes, bags to put over our feet, lots and lots of cloths.

Jimin, now stood by me at the boot looks quizzically at the array of items in my hands, his mouth in a tiny 'o' formation and I smirk beneath the mask. "Put the mask on properly; we don't want people recognising you and blowing this whole thing open if they mention it to a snake." I direct, and he instantly pulls it over his mouth, he follows after me quickly as we head up the stairs, I turn to look over my shoulder regularly just to make sure, I already know Jimin's going to flip.


"I hope you don't have a weak stomach," I grimace, and I watch Jimin's eyes widen, but I move quickly into the apartment before he can start protesting. "Put these on," I chuck a pair of latex gloves at him and bags to put over his shoes, his face has gone pale but he's going to have to get used to this, he's a Sasin now, blood and death can't affect him, that's his job. "Come, we need to finish this before people start coming back from work," with that I walk over to his bedroom and he groans, I'm guessing he's worked out what we are doing here, I mean it's hard to not when there's a small trail of blood seeping from under the door frame and into the living area.


I screw my nose up at the sight; it's gorier than I remember it being but it's also pretty fucking cool how heads can literally explode. I look up at the ceiling, that's going to be a fucking nightmare to get off. Jimin has hesitantly come and stood beside me, he's gagging, and I just pat his back teasingly. "Is that fucking Python?" He gasps eyes widening onto the neck of the snake, before gagging once more, I'm guessing he saw the eyeball that's nicely placed itself on Jimin's bed, almost exactly where the cat toy was. I just bellow with laughter, he's such a fucking baby. "When the fuck did you do this?"


"He came in when I was here, locked the fucking door too, why does he have a key?" I ask starting with lifting the shards of skull and brain up off the floor and into a bag that will be burned later. Jimin still seems stunned, mouth opening and closing in shock, I ignore it, I really need to get this fucking job done quick. This is the worst part about killing, having to clear it up, Yoongi and Hoseok don't have this trouble, they have men who sweep up after them, me, I'm out on my own. If I get caught or my DNA is found somewhere in a crime scene, then that's me finished.


"Jimin stop fucking gawping and help me pick this shit up!" I snap as Jimin tiptoes over the body and gags once more at a piece of mushed brain, I roll my eyes as he pathetically plops it into the bag with a splat. I have a feeling bringing him here wasn't the most brilliant idea in the universe, but at least he's seen a dead body.


"Python was meant to be watching me whilst Adder's away, you really should let me reply to their messages, or they'll become suspicious, I might not be in the gang but Kwan is protective over me, he's really the only family I have, even if I do dislike him." I decide now isn't the best time to ask about his family issues, that can be saved for a rainy day, right now we need to dispose of his body and clean this blood up before a tenant comes searching.


"Are shootings always this bloody?" Jimin asks after a while, I glance at him quickly, he's started scrubbing the walls, we decided immediately that him getting rid of the remnants of body wasn't a good idea, much to my entertainment when I made him pick the eye up off his bed, I've never heard anyone squeal like he did, but then he chucked it at me, and it burst, that wasn't pleasant. I always thought eyeballs would be bouncy, but that proved me wrong, the horrific pop it made as liquid flooded out of it before Jimin's gagging filled the quiet apartment again. Oh man, I don't want to think about that ever again. 


"Not always, it's only messy because it was close contact, usually we aim for the chest or neck, heads although it makes sure they are dead do have a lot of clearing up after, we don't always have time for that so main arteries or organs are always good." Jimin just nods scrubbing viciously at the white walls, he's doing a pretty good job clearing that blood off, but then again the bleach we have is fucking magic, gets anything out with a bit of elbow grease.


"What about the smell?" Jimin asks scrunching his nose and making the face mask rise up his face before he attempts to slide it back down with his forearm as his hands are kind of preoccupied and covered in blood. I hum, I'm pretty desensitised to the smell of dead bodies and blood, I mean I have been doing this for years now, and you just can't really get yourself caught up in it, it's a job, not always pleasant but it needs to be done.


"Not always," I say standing back up and looking around to see if there are any more broken off pieces I haven't found, I hum trying to find something my eyes could have missed. I lean back over, crouching to look under the bed much to Jimin's distaste which only intrigues me more, Gguk, being moaned as Jimin pitters on his feet like a small child not getting what he wants.


I smirk looking up at him before yanking a box out from under the bed; I'm guessing this is what he doesn't want me to see from how he's reacting. "Jimin, what's in the box?" I ask my tone too teasing for my own good.


"Nothing," Jimin whines, I chuckle slightly as I shake it, "careful!" He snaps before embarrassingly cowering at giving it away, a breathy laugh leaves me as he turns away, he is most definitely embarrassed, and flushing a beautiful shade of pink.


"Gguk please don't open that," he whines again, but now my interest levels have peaked as high as Everest. I take one of my gloves off with my teeth, the coppery taste filling my mouth to the disgust of Jimin who is distracted for one moment before realising I'm opening it. "Before you say anything it was a gift!" He squeals hiding again behind his arms.


I lift the lid of the box off, and my eyes dart from the contents to Jimin with a lifted eyebrow, I can't hide my smirk at how much Jimin looks like he's dying inside. "Well, I can safely say I wasn't expecting that," I snort lifting the lace cloth off the items and then bursting into fits. There inside the box are an array of sex toys, Jimin looks mortified which just makes me want to laugh even louder.


"Fucking hell Jimin, what do you get up to in here?" I tease in between bursts of laughter, I feel my eyes watering up, and my stomach hurt from the pressure, but I can't help myself this is too damn hilarious.


"I told you it was a present, I haven't used any of them," he mumbles under his hands. I calm myself down placing them on the bed and inspecting the different items; all this stuff must cost a fortune, they look expensive, not your typical cheap vibrator, nope, these are costly. I recognise the brand of one, and I pick it up to look it over.


"Jeongguk what the fuck?" Jimin gasps looking at me as I look over the glass dildo, it's pretty in a weird sense, how the light refracts off it, it must look so good all lubed up plus it's fucking enormous. I just look at him and shrug before plopping it back down on the bed.


"Why don't you use them? These are expensive?" I ask looking over the five different vibrators; I hum at one again recognising the brand and knowing it's not cheap, Jimin curls in on himself slightly. "You do use them, don't you? Why didn't you ask me to collect them?"


"I am not having this conversation with you; you're a kid." Jimin snaps awkwardly before turning back to scrubbing the walls to preoccupy him from the growing tension and my light chuckles.


"Which is your favourite?" I ask turning back to them, I see Jimin look over at the bed in my peripheral vision as I pick up another dildo, this ones rubber though, it's fucking realistic too, all veiny and shit like a dick on steroids. "I like that one, it's pretty," I say pointing at the glass one and I can practically feel Jimin screaming on the inside, I'm enjoying teasing him this is fun, might be my new favourite hobby alongside annoying the fuck out of Yoongi, maybe that should be my new game: How long does it take before Yoongi hyung or Jimin hyung hits me? 


"Jeongguk we are not having this conversation, put them back we have a job to do or did you forget that?" Jimin snaps demanding, and I just snigger. I carefully place all of them back in the box and put the cloth over, but I don't move it from the bed. "Put it back," he snaps again, and I shake my head, he scowls at my refusal to do what he says and instead walks over to do it himself but I just get in the way, I'm kind of glad he can't see how wide my smile is under this mask.


"No, we are taking these back to the nest," I say coolly, and he looks at me unsure, "you might need them, don't want to deprive you." I snigger, and he pushes my chest huffing with annoyance, but he doesn't fight back, with that out the way I get back to business. "Anything else hidden under this bed you don't want me to see?" He just lightly tells me to fuck off, and I snort, this Jimin is fun to rile up, he's never living this down.

But something is different, I have this image in my head of Jimin bent pretty on the bed, ass tight and oozing in lube as he pants lowly as the glass thrusts deeper into him, it's almost magnetic in my brain sending shocks to all my nerve endings, but I quickly snap out of it, that's fucking inappropriate, best I stay away from those types of images right now. I try to avoid looking over at Jimin, he's on all fours scrubbing the floor, he has a nice ass I'll give him that but I shouldn't be thinking about him in such derogatory ways, I've only known him two days. In the end, I put it down to my brain feeling fucked up and tired from the emotional roller coaster and lack of sleep I've had for the past couple days; it's nothing more than that.

"Jimin be a babe and cut his ear off for me," I simply say scrubbing some blood off the floor, thank god Jimin has hardwood and not carpet otherwise we would be in trouble. Jimin instantly starts stammering at my request asking why over and over. "We need to send it to the snakes, so they know we took him, so be a good boy and slice the ear off, here," I hand him the knife I keep in my jacket, Jimin just stares at it. "You'll need to get over this Jimin; you can't be affected by it, he's dead he doesn't need it."


Jimin sighs hesitantly taking the knife and standing over the Python's limp decapitated- well half exploded head. With a loud whine, he leans down close before he begins hacking at the ear, "careful, we need it in one piece!" I snap watching him closely as the knife beautifully slices through the cartilage. Soon he's holding an ear with a face of pure repulsion, before handing it over (shoving it in my face) and returning to cleaning that last bit of blood.

Overall we've done an impeccable job, not a single trace of blood anywhere, now all we need to do is put him in the body bag and chuck him in the Han. I wrap the ear up carefully in a cloth, pinning it shut with our badge, so they know who did it, they'll know it was Sniper, I also add the ring on his index finger into the cloth just in case they don't pay attention to who's ear it could be.


"Help me with this," I ask standing up and grabbing the shoulders of Python, Jimin's eyes blow wide again. "We can't just leave him here, quick grab his feet and put him in the bag." I feel very bossy today, maybe it's my shitty mood, but Jimin complies easily, sighing once more and grabbing his feet mumbling how heavy he is, "yeah when you die you become heavier, Namjoon did tell me why, but I didn't really give a fuck, we'll have to bulk your muscles up if I am to make you do this by yourself."


"M-myself?" Jimin stammers and I sigh heaving the man into the bag and zipping it up with skilled ease; I lower my mask now that there isn't any need and watch Jimin as he does the same.


"Jimin I don't think you really know what you're doing here, I'm training you to become a Sasin. Boss will give you missions to do, assassinations, killing snakes or anyone who steps a foot out of line, I won't always be there to help. I did it by myself; you can too." He doesn't reply, only nodding slightly. "Look, I know this isn't what you want to do with your life, and I'm sorry we are forcing it on you, but you gotta understand it's either this or being dead and this isn't that bad. Maybe when we've taken down the snakes you can live a normal life away from us if that's what you really want, but for now, we are in this together, I kill you have to kill too. Partners."


It's silent for a moment, I can hear Jimin going over everything I said, he looks around the room and then at the body bag and shrugs his shoulder, "partners," he agrees holding his hand out for me to shake, I just snort taking his hand.

Just as I am about to get him to lift the bag to help me get it out of the apartment and into the boot, there's a loud bang on the door. "Shit," Jimin hisses starting to freak out as men start yelling his name, I grab my gun really fucking hoping I don't have to use it after us cleaning up for fucking hours, well more like an hour and a half max but still, my muscles ache from being hunched over so long. "Should I answer?" He whispers I shake my head, mouthing to stay silent. We know you're in there Jimin, a voice calls and I curse under my breath, only one thing to do, Jimin has to answer the door.


I quickly yank the body bag under the bed hoping they won't feel the need to come in this room. The knocking continues frantically, and I know we are running out of time before they make a scene, if they haven't already and knowing snakes they aren't exactly subtle with their actions. I get Jimin to take the gloves and bags off his feet, chucking them under the bed as well, I take mine off just in case, and I prepare Jimin to go to the door.

"Wait," I hiss just as Jimin's about to leave, "open your shirt," I command, and he looks at me weirdly before I'm moving forward and ruffling his hair much to his distaste and then I'm taking my shirt off and unzipping my pants, then he gets it. "If they ask it's a hookup," he nods quickly, clearing his throat and giving himself a little pep talk as he makes his way to the door.

I sit on the bed, eyes glancing to the items on the bed. Hopefully, they won't come in here, but if they do, then we have the perfect motive. I hear Jimin answer and gruff voices lowly speaking to him, I hide the gun behind my back trying to listen carefully. What were you doing? Why did you take so fucking long? Have you seen Python he came round here earlier? "No, I just got back from Uni, why are you here?" Jimin asks I can tell he's probably fidgeting, he doesn't seem like an excellent liar, his voice is too shrill, and I just know they have seen right through him, I'll have to try and change that. Is someone else here? The voice snaps and I jump into action, tucking my gun into my pants hissing at its coldness as I hear Jimin stammer over if to say yes or not before feet are storming past.

Here it goes, I jump up from the bed, ruffling my hair a little more, so it looks like someone has been tugging on it and calmly stroll into the living area. "Jimin hurry up babe so I can finger you otherwise I'll just use this butt-plug, oh, I'm so sorry I didn't know we had visitors!" I gasp pretending to try and cover myself up, the two men stand there shocked, glaring over me and then looking back at Jimin who is equally just as shocked.


"Who is this?" One of the men asks hissing lowly at Jimin; his eyes widen with evident concern on what to say, I smile eyeing him to go along with anything I say.


"I'm sorry how rude of me, I'm Justin a friend from University," I smile coyly and reaching a hand out to shake his, he doesn't, and that just pisses me off, but I don't show it.


"You're a fucking faggot?" The other man spits at Jimin.


"You shouldn't use words like that anymore, gosh it's 2018 not exactly illegal," I state trying to bite down the growing aggravation at these brutes with two brain cells, both just stare snarling slightly.

"I don't care what fucking year it is; you're a fucking fag, does Kwan know you take it up the ass Jimin?"

"What? No." Jimin stammers panicking. 

"Are you honestly trying to threaten my baby right now? Right here? I'm sorry, I don't know who you men are, but I would be so appreciative if you could fuck off and let me as you kindly put it, take him up the ass." The room falls silent, the men glaring at me but I don't stand down, Jimin shifts slightly nudging himself closer to me than to them and I grab his hand and interlace our fingers. Both men watch with repulsion before I start rubbing Jimin's abdomen, I feel him stiffen slightly under my soft touch, but I care more about getting these fucking snakes out of here. 

"Your baby?" The first man spits, and I smile widely, yanking Jimin into me eliciting a strange yelp from him, the man's eyes shit from me to Jimin.
 

"You're his fucking baby?" The other sniffs finding some humour in the comment, "if Kwan knew his cousin was a fucking queer he'd sew your arse shut." Jimin physically gulps at that, and I've had enough. 

 

"That's fine by me, he sucks my cock just great, baby, you're the best at sucking dick," I mumble getting close to his ear and whispering, "sorry in advance," I hear him gulp again before I'm pressing him against my crotch and he moans slightly feeling my semi-hard dick, this adrenaline is really not good for me. The men once again scowl in abhorrence, "you really should probably leave, unless you want to join us?" I ask winking at one of them who just snarls. 

"I've never seen anything so fucking revolting; you're going to hell."

 

"I'll guess I'll see you there!" I chime back with the fakest smile I've ever put on my face, then the mans moving towards us and Jimin shoves his hand out startling me and him both at his unexpected touch.


"To answer your question Chan, no I haven't seen Python but if I do I'll make sure to tell you, now if you'll excuse me I have some unfinished business to attend to," he calmly motions his arm towards the door and they kick their heels and leave, muttering homophobic words under the breaths like a mantra. We stand there in silence for a second before Jimin bursts into laughter, "holy shit we totally fooled them!" I just stand there holding the butt-plug in my hand and smirking, "don't look at me like that, it was a fucking gift!"


"Yeah damn right it is, I totally got us out of that one." Jimin just continues to giggle, straightening his hair out and doing his shirt back up, I eye his body up briefly before heading back into the bedroom to get everything ready again. "Sorry for doing that to you by the way." Jimin's smile just grows as he shrugs again. 

"It's alright Jeonggukkie; I'll forgive your boner, I know this ass is hard to resist." I try with all my might not to look down to that region and instead turn away.

"We'll have to be careful now; they might still be out there. I'll get hyung to come to get the body later but for now, let's take these bad boys back to the nest." I say plopping the plug back in the box and picking it up happily. Jimin just looks at me concerned, "Jimin I'm a kind friend, you can use these till your hearts content back at the nest, do you have lube? I can get you some, what flavour?" Jimin just groans retreating to the door as quickly as possible to get away from the conversation, and I snigger at how flushed he gets whenever I mention them.

'Hyung I need you to dispose of a body later, too risky to get to the car I'll send you location'.

 

I quickly text Hoseok telling him where to find the body, he'll probably dispose of it in the Han at night, he's stealthy like that. I turn back to Jimin who's sheepishly staring out the window, "don't be so embarrassed, it isn't a bad thing, everyone has sex Jimin." I do kind of feel bad for torturing Jimin about the sex toys but his eyes widening to unhealthy proportions is just too funny to miss, "it isn't like I haven't seen it before."


"Oh yeah? You seem like the type," Jimin chuckles looking over at me with a broad smile that I return simultaneously, he really does have a radiating personality, not that I would ever tell him that.


"Yeah well you look like you're into some proper kinky shit, I bet you love being handcuffed don't you, gagged? Yeah, look at that face, you kinky bastard!" I poke him in the ribs teasingly, and he tries to bat my hand away whilst covering his face with his forearms, he's cute.


"We are not having this conversation Jeongguk!" Jimin whines turning back to the window to ignore me; I snort watching the blush go to his ears in embarrassment before I start driving back to the nest. "They really were presents though, this guy I was kind of seeing bought them for me for my birthday, he's like super rich, and he wanted me to use them and film it and send to him as repayment." My eyes blow wide, choking out a holy shit. "I never did it, I was too shy, and I wasn't lying when I said I don't use them, some still have labels on."


"You're such a prude you know that? Sex doesn't have to be an awkward conversation you know?" Jimin just hums fiddling with his fingers nervously, "when I first came to the gang I was so pumped up on adrenaline and anger all the time that I never stopped fucking, I'd go round to clubs and just fuck anything that gave interest. You don't know how many times Yoongi hyung has yelled because of me being a, and I quote, 'irresponsible horny bastard', that was before Kim started training me. Before him, I just hung around the gang scoping the place out, doing drugs, fucking, watching porn being filmed, killing. Kim set me straight though, gave me a job to do."

"When did your relationship turn into something else?" Jimin asks too quietly, probably because it's a personal question, but more likely it's because he knows Kim's name is fucking cocaine to my ears. "Like, you've told me it wasn't allowed so how?"


I smirk, looking over at him being so awkward and stiff in his seat obviously not knowing where to look. "He found me, I'd been watching a porn set of two men for the first time, came home so fucking stiff like you wouldn't believe, and I just needed to get off, didn't lock my door, and he walked in. Look pretty fucking mortified until I begged him to help me out, just started fucking after that." I say shrugging; I miss out all the intimate details of our relationship like the soft promises that one day we will escape and the endless sweet nothings, they sound like poison to my brain now, lies all fucking lies. "That's all it really was, fucking," my mind trails off thinking about the last conversation we had, we argued, fucking petty as well but I hurt him.


"What's he like?" Jimin asks breaking me out of my thoughts, I clear my throat trying to redeem myself, and he gently looks at me with sympathy, I wish he wouldn't. I hate people feeling sorry for me; I'm meant to be tough, a Sasin can't fucking have heartbreak, I'm not supposed to be weak. I guess you could say he's my kryptonite, but even then I'm not a superhero, just a teenage boy with a death wish. "Like when you first spoke about him to me, you made him out to be this scary tough guy, but now I'm not so sure."


"Kim was our pretty guy before he was a Sasin he was an escort, worked the pole and everything like that when Ji- I mean Boss found him. He would always deal with the kills of men that were higher up in society; they'd hire his services for the night and be dead by the morning, you wouldn't be able to trace it through him at all or back to the gang. That's how I first met him actually, he was at a filming for a porno, wasn't participating, but he was there, told me he was in charge of me now and began training me the day after, been a Sasin ever since. Kim is something else, he's tough, fucking lethal but also so fucking pretty, he can sing, hence the idol bullshit but he isn't like the rest of us, he's charming and kind, if you saw him you wouldn't think he kills people for a living, probably would think he's a model with his looks." I can't stop the smile gracing my face as I talk about him, he's fucking dangerous to me, and I'm lucky it's only Jimin in the car and not some other gang member, Jin would have a bullet in my head so quick I wouldn't even be able to finish a blink.


"So why is it so bad to have a relationship? I don't get it, why would you be killed if your Boss found out."


"I don't know Jimin; it just isn't allowed. I guess it goes against what we are in a way? We are bred to be nothing but killing machines; love isn't really something we should do. Not that I love him, just you know? We aren't really even supposed to have relationships outside the gang either unless it's for jobs, I've never spoken to Boss about it, it's just a known thing that sleeping with your partner can get your head chopped off if you're not careful."


"He would really have you killed just because you fall in love with someone within the gang? What sort of Boss is this?"


"It's the Boss Jimin, of a multi-million gang, he controls almost every part of Seoul, and even other cities in Korea like Busan is pretty much ours, he protects us, we protect the people of this city, without us children would be sent to sex rings and Seoul would be Hell."


"Do you love him?" I look at him confused, "not your Boss. Taehyung." I shake my head instantly, "it sure sounds like you do, maybe love is a strong word, and I get you're scared of it but mayb-"


"Jimin, I don't love Kim."


"Why are you hiding it? Jeongguk it's only me here, I'm not exactly going to go run to your Boss am I?"


"One, he's your Boss too now Jimin. Two, I don't love him, I honestly don't, sure I enjoy his company, and I fucking miss him, but that doesn't calculate to love. Three, I've only known you fucking two days, I've already told you too much shit, so please drop the subject of Kim and focus on becoming a Sasin, that will actually get us somewhere."


"I'll help you Jeongguk, you've been kind to me, the situation isn't great, but I can see us being friends, I mean you've seen my dildo collection," I burst into laughter again alongside him, I like the sound that comes out his mouth when he laughs, he squeaks sometimes, it might be the most adorable noise. "But honestly though you should let me reply to Kwan, you or Namjoon hyung can look over me whilst I do it, I won't snitch or anything, but I know how angry he gets when I ignore his calls. He's protective of me." I nod in agreement, keeping Kwan from getting suspicious is vital, and if Jimin just has to text him back to keep that then fine, I'll watch over him. "Maybe I can get him to tell me more about Kim?"


My smile falls at that as my gaze shoots back to the road, he sighs placing a hand on my bicep squeezing it in a supporting manner. "Gguk we'll get him back I promise, you might not admit it but it doesn't change anything between you," he's too kind to me, my stomach starts twisting with guilt, Park Jimin is too good to me, too good to be a Sasin and far too good for this world.


"Jimin he's most certainly forgotten me, ah fuck it, he's been fucking tortured Jimin! Medically induced amnesia or something like that, your cousin is fucking Satan." Jimin's face falls at my outburst, "but it's whatever I guess, you hungry? I'm starving, let's go eat." I quickly change the conversation before I work myself up again, I haven't thought about him this much since he vanished and it's driving me insane. I feel a need to pay a visit to Peaches soon. "Want to relieve some stress?" I ask my mood instantly changing as a smile spreads just thinking about the place, Jimin seems unsure, " let's grab something to eat and then I have a place to show you," with that I step on the gas.

 


 

SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 20.57PM 

My mind got sidetracked with giving Jimin some extra training whilst we wait for the nightlife to begin, I've been trying to get his lying and acting skills up, telling him different motives and storylines he can use. If people ask for his name he is to refer to himself as Jiwon; if both of us are caught together we are to pretend to be having a sexual escapade, shouldn't be too challenging for him to follow. "I won't have to kiss you right?" Jimin asks timidly, and I snort looking over my phone at him, we've been sat in my car for the past twenty minutes going over everything before Peaches opens, I perk an eyebrow at the sudden question.


"Why? You want to kiss me?" I tease, pouting my lips and leaning forward, he instantly shoves me sending my phone flying straight into my nose, "okay fuck you, that hurt," I hiss with no venom as I rub the tip of my nose, Jimin as expected flurries into a pool of apologies. "Stop apologising all the time when you hurt someone when you are killing someone you can't turn around and go 'oh my gosh I am so sorry! Let me kiss it better!'" I mimic his voice cruelly, and his mouth falls open in offence at my high pitched squeal.


"I do not sound like that!" He pouts shoving me again, "and no I don't want to kiss you, you're a dick, besides you've already harassed me today with your boner." I don't really know where this conversation is going to go. "I was just asking, if we are to play gay lovers then won't we at least have to make it realistic?" Now I see where this is heading; I lick my lips sensually watching Jimin falter slightly as his eyes shift from my lips to my eyes and then quickly dart away. "Stop acting like that, I'm not kissing you Jeongguk," he mumbles lowly, and I burst into a wide smile again.


"I know, I'm just playing," he seems to lighten slightly, "although I wouldn't mind it, as long as you know I'm in control." Jimin snorts looking over at me and my body making a short 'mhmm' noise before picking at his cuticles uninterested. "I don't think we will but it's not out the question, many snakes are fucking homophobic anyway so just the mere thought of my dick going up your ass should be enough confirmation for them, plus you look like a homo, how does your cousin honestly not know that?." Jimin slaps me again this time it stings slightly, but my chest has felt worse.


"I do not look like a homo! Kwan has never been interested in my sexuality to notice; he just thinks I 'fuck bitches' and I don't have the heart to tell him I prefer it up the ass." I quirk an eyebrow at him trying my very best not to snigger and rile him up any more than I have already, "there's nothing wrong with that anyway like you said it's 2018, I could walk around in skirts and no one would flinch." That's an image to behold, this time it's my turn to make a noise, but I decide a moan would be best fitted, his eyes shoot up to my face in horror, "oh my god! Don't fucking get turned on by that you pervert! Just for that, you're never seeing that, ever!"

"You're so easy to rile up, I mean I think people would flinch, I definitely would, but back to my first statement you do look gay Jimin, I can practically smell it off you like strawberry flavoured lube. I bet you are the gay fucker that's even had pink hair," his eyes shoot away from mine, and I cackle, "no way! You actually had fucking pink hair? Damn, I can read you so well Park Jimin."


"For your information, Jeon Jeongguk, I don't smell like strawberry lube because I use cherry flavoured and yes I had pink hair so deal with it, I look fucking adorable!" His sassy attitude is screaming in my face; I can only smile as he tilts his head and snaps his fingers before smiling back at me, his cheeks squishing up into his eyes.


"You're so fucking gay I feel myself choking," I state pretending to gag, he shoves me once more, but I grab his wrist. "I swear to fucking god Jimin if you shove me one more time I'll break your arm." He instantly retracts his arm away from my grip mumbling about how aggressive I am. "Anyway, enough about your fucking homosexuality that is insufferably obvious I have a place to take you, be prepared to get drunk as fuck!" I holler, and he snorts giggling to himself about how funny I am. I know he doesn't have to tell me, I'm a comedic genius.

I jump out of the car and walk around to the passenger door. "After you my homosexual pink haired princess!" I chime, Jimin goes to hit me again but refrains remembering my words and I smirk, he's honestly so easy he just mumbles about how I fuck boys too but doesn't say anything else.


I walk him only a few blocks away from the car, I can't park outside the club just in case snakes somehow catch on and decide to take advantage, they'd be fucking insane to try though, Gangnam is our land, our castle and no intruders are getting in without being gunned down.


When we reach Peaches it's dark, and the music can be heard bleeding through the doors, my adrenaline kicks in at the memories of this place, this is where I used to come all the time when I first joined Hwang-geumbich nalgae but in recent years my attendance to this club has been limited to maybe a handful of visits a year, mainly Kim's fault for never wanting me going to these joints but guess he isn't here to stop me now.

"Wait, this place is owned by you guys?" Jimin creases his brows when the fluorescent light pink street sign comes into view in big cursive letters, 'peaches'. I just hum in reply, Jimin starts gawping as we get closer, "but this is a-"


"Yeah it's a strip club," I say looking down at him with a smirk, the darkness of the night clashes with the phosphorescent beams of the sign against his skin, he looks attractive, not that I would ever admit it. "Now I want you to have a good time alright? Get loose, get fucking drunk, fuck someone if you need to but I have some business to do here." The bouncer just nods letting us in straight away, I feel Jimin curl at this gruff man's steady gaze as we walk past before he's grabbing onto my sleeve like a small child being scared to be left alone, I turn to look at him, it's noisy and dark but his eyes are speaking multitudes.


"You're leaving me, here?" He yells over the suggestive slow r&b song playing, it's pretty busy for just having turned quarter past nine at night, but then again Peaches is always brimming. "Gguk why did you bring me here if you're just going to leave?" He looks panicked; I sigh putting my arm over his shoulders to bring him in close so I can actually hold a conversation without having to break my voice box.


"I won't be more than ten minutes, just head to the bar, tell them you know me and ask for my usual, I'll be back soon, promise." With that I pat his back and make my way through the crowd, I don't turn back but I know he's standing there clueless, for a student in Mapo-gu he doesn't seem to have much excitement towards partying but then again this is a strip club filled with thugs and gang members. I harden my face, pushing my way through, my eyes catch on a couple dancers in tight fitted clothing, and they give me the eye, but I keep going, I need to find her.

I stand by the stage area, a female is dancing around the pole, men groaning in arousal as they chuck money at her, she smiles at me seductively with a wink and I return with a smirk, I see a couple men turn with disapproving looks at no doubt to them is a horny teenager trying to fuck as many women as a way of rebelling against his parents. Although I would like to give myself some hope that I don't look that young, I mean I'm eighteen turning nineteen in two months, I should hope I don't look like a sixteen-year-old virgin who's swapped porn for the real thing. 

One thing I've always liked about peaches is how both men and women are rented out here, men strip on the poles too but tonight is the female night. The male escorts usually go sit on the couches and wait to be approached on nights like these; it alternates during the week. Might sound chaotic but it means double the profit and regulars are very common here, in fact, I see the same old man watching this girl that I have seen coming here since I actually was sixteen. I mean I get it, the women here the epitome of sex objects, although I'm all for women's rights and empowerment, they are prostitutes at the end of the day, they are sex objects, the same for the men here, sex is their way of income, I think that's pretty cool. 


"Jeongguk?" A familiar voice calls from behind, I feel a hand rest on my shoulder, ghosting over the collar of my shirt, briefly touching my neck. I turn to see just who I was looking for, I give her a pleasant smile as I look her over, erotic is the word I would use to describe the clothing -or lack of, I feel her eyes trace over me as well before she smiles. She's pretty much just wearing lingerie, a lace bodice and matching thigh highs, it cute in the most sexual way. "How long has it been since you blessed me with your presence?" I just smirk as she moves closer, she smells divine, like honey and those eyes, a dark brown encapsulating the bright lights in constellations.

"It's been too long Eunha, how have you been? I hope they are treating you well." The conversation is a little too polite for the eyes she is giving me currently. How her hands brush against my own, a playful smirk present on her face, she just hums telling me she knows what I want. The rule is to not touch them until you're in a private room goes out the window when he yanks my hand to grope her perky bottom, biting down on her lip when I squeeze it tight. Her hand's ghost against my chest. "Private room," I command more than asking and her hand falls from my chest but not without briefly touching my length, she giggles slightly as I hiss at the teasing. Her eyelashes flutter from my crotch to my eyes, and soon she's signalling for me to follow her.

 

I continue walking alongside her until we reach the back rooms where the private sessions take place, a few more dancers walk past with wide eyes and tight lips but do not say anything, most know who I am, but these ones seem to be new, or at least I haven't seen them, they probably think I'm some random kid who stole his Dad's bank card and id. Sometimes I hate having such an innocent looking face, I mean it's not as bad as it once was when I first joined I just did not look threatening at all, but then I bulked up, I'd like to think I at least look my age.

 

I observe her carefully as she walks in front, her hips swaying suggestively and I know I told Jimin I wouldn't be away for more than ten minutes, but she is making that extremely unrealistic. I bite my lip as we reach her room, a rose gold font pasted onto the door with the name 'Rose', although I've never taken to calling her by her stage name. Her eyes quickly glance over me again before opening the door, and the sweet scent of honey fills my lungs once more. It's her dressing room as such, a bed placed in the corner for one purpose and that isn't for her to sleep, let's be clear this is a strip club with prostitutes.


"It must be important if you've decided to come without your little friend," Eunha purrs waltzing over to her dressing table to fix her makeup slightly, her eyes latching onto mine as I stroll over to the leather couch. By little friend I'm guessing she means Jimin, "I saw you come in with him, poor soul looked terrified, do you do that often? Bring young boys to strip clubs and then leave?" Her tone is hinting on teasing, and I just hum looking over the room, it's pretty basic, nothing that really stands out as such except the silk sheets on the bed.


"In my defence, I wasn't really planning on leaving him until we arrived, he should be at the bar, he's fine." Eunha hums turning back to face me leaning against the table; I can tell she's trying to work out why I am here, so I get straight to the point. "I suppose you've heard the news," I bluntly state mindlessly looking at my hands, a steady I have is heard and I nod, of course, she has, I don't think there will be anyone left in South Korea who doesn't know.

"He's a traitor," I start and Eunha is instantly walking over, or more prowling over. I watch her stand between my open legs, my hands going up to her tiny waist as he looks down on me with a sigh, her soft fingers tracing over my neck and jaw. "I've been angry, I stopped fucking around for him and now look." I spit, and she yanks my head up to look her in the eyes, the air turning thick simultaneously.

"So you've come to relieve that stress, he's betrayed you, so you want someone to take your mind off of it," she answers before pushing me back against the couch and slowly straddling my lap, her hands going to my neck, fingers carding through my air, her lips are glossy and fuck I want her. "I'm sure I can be of service for that, for a price of course." My hands tighten around her waist, Eunha is the most expensive escort you can buy at Peaches, I'm not short on money at all, and her services do live up to the price, I don't know why I'm hesitating.


Then she's getting off my lap and slowly walking over to a drawer, "perhaps this will help," she lightly speaks taking out a small box and revealing the beautiful white powder, I feel my mouth start to water at just the sight of the cocaine, I haven't had a hit in months and only now am I realising how my skin is itching for some. I would never say I'm addicted, I can't be, I don't do it often enough, but cocaine and sex are fucking groundbreaking together.


I quickly jump off the couch and walk over eagerly eyeing the white lines she's creating; I scoop a hand around her waist as I watch before she's bending and sniffing two lines, letting out pleased moans at the sensation. I grin before she's nudging for me to take some as well, I notice my lines are longer, but I'm not complaining, this buzz is going to be fucking historical.

As soon as the burn hits the back of my nose and I feel it oozing into every inch of my sou,l I bend my head back with pleasure, "that's fucking amazing," I basically moan as I turn to Eunha who's lying prettily on the bed, eyes dark and body curved in the most attractive way, her hands circling the soft material beneath her body, she looks like a dream and I cannot be more ready to join her in a place away from reality.


"It's imported from Brazil; I can get you some if you'd like, it isn't hard to get, those men are always buying me." I just shake my head, and she pouts, "still listening to him I see, a traitor with such influence on you," as she talks her eyes lock onto mine, her body shifting to face mine and slowly parting her legs with a devious grin. I don't hesitate to lunge towards the bed and push my body in between hers, a light moan eliciting from her lips as I pull her into a heated kiss. Eunha for years has been my outlet as such of getting my sexual frustrations out; she's around my age, Seokjin found her when they took down a child sex wing from the snakes, Eunha's been doing this since she was eleven. Boss offered to let her go like the others but she refused, she likes it, begun to love the feeling of men dominating her as she grew older and it no longer became something from her nightmares.


"Take off your shirt Jeonggukkie," she breathlessly whispers against my now swollen lips, I smile slightly at the nickname she started using after a couple times of hooking up, she was new to Peaches when I joined, only a couple months of working here, she wasn't for sale because she was only a child, but I saw her. At the time I was looking for an older woman to please me but Eunha was something else, the way her dark brown eyes pull you in is a force not to be reckoned with, and those lips, fuck. I'm quick to yank my shirt over my head, and her hands are quickly trailing over my torso, placing small kisses and nips across the toned skin of my chest. "You've grown," she says with a smirk that makes me growl, "so much stronger, would almost think you're a man," I know that's a challenge, it's what Eunha does, teases you in the hope to get the response she wants, domination and who am I to take that away from her?


"I'm nineteen this September, but I turned a man a long time ago," I growl in between kisses, the heat growing between our bodies is unmistakable, mixed with the euphoric hum of cocaine rushing through our systems everything is heightened, blood rushing to my length as her thigh brushes against it with a small giggle. I bite hard on her lip making her back arch in pleasure. "Let's make this quick, I have to get back to my friend," no other words need to be spoken as she instantly starts unbuckling my belt, the feeling of my now suffocatingly tight trousers being stripped off me is heaven, her eyes glimmer at the bulge inside my underwear before I'm on top of her again with poised expertise, so I am not flattening her but with enough friction for the heat to rise tenfold.

"I'm already prepped, I have a show in ten with some businessmen," Eunha speaks between moans as my tongue licks against her supple abdomen and hips, "no marks," she hisses as she feels me begin to suck a mark and I just bite it in return making her chuckle softly to herself. "You're so naughty, if Boss finds out," with that my eyes darken, it's always Boss, with one swift move I tug her legs over my shoulders, kissing softly at the insides of her thighs making her squirm.

 

I push up, my lips mixing with hers once more, my heart race beating unsteadily from all the adrenaline coursing through my bloodstream, my eyes must be wide and dilated by now, but it only adds to how Eunha is begging for me. "Show me how much of a man you are Jeonggukkie," she whispers seductively against my ear, her hot breath so erotic and she's soon sucking on my lobe, biting at the many piercings, the sensation goes straight between my legs, and I growl again.


The need becomes too much, and soon I am pushing myself inside her, a groan coming from her as she adjusts hissing at how large I am, "I told you, baby, I'm a man now," she just giggles lowly, running her hands through my hair saying, of course, you are. Then she's demanding me to move, I thrust slowly into her, our lips tangling in sloppy toothy messes. "I've fucking missed this," I hiss at how tight she is, how fucking amazing her body feels against mine, the harsh moans escaping those small plump lips and her head throwing back as I begin to pound into her hard.

Her hand grabbing onto my neck as my hands support her hips, "you're so fucking good," I groan against her neck as I thrust again, her body mixed with the cocaine is heaven, I am in heaven, I don't know why I haven't allowed myself to feel this more often. I do know, but right now that traitor is in the back of my mind, only her and her moans matter right now, not his.

Our bodies become slick with sweat, the room isn't even that hot, but the pace and unprecedented urge to prove something to her overthrows everything, hot moans echo throughout the room. Some other stripper came in just now to get changed, watching me pound into Eunha with such force she joked about her needing a new spine, I didn't listen, I'm angry, and I am proving a point to myself, he doesn't control me.


When a series of high pitched moans comes from within Eunha I know I've done it, I've shown her I am a man, she told me once that very often she pretends to be pleased by the men or women in her company, 'I've only ever truly had an orgasm maybe four times,' make that five now. Her body goes lax from her post-high but I keep going, steadying the pace as not to hurt her too much, and soon I find my stomach tightening as I reach my release. The cocaine makes my orgasm explosive, as come fills the condom and I stay inside her for a moment allowing us to relax with just heavy pants filling the room.

"Fuck Jeongguk," she breathes, face flushed and lips swollen and wet. I just breathily laugh, pulling out of her and throwing the condom in the bin. I don't get back on the bed, I just start picking my clothes up and Eunha sits up, we never or never have stayed for pillow talk and I don't plan to tonight either. I chuck her skimpy clothes at her, but she stays naked.


"So who's the boy?" She asks, voice cracking sexily from all the screaming, I turn back to look at her quickly, the high coming down to just a low buzz, I turn to the clock on the wall, 9.48pm, well I lied to Jimin. Eunha sits up properly, crossing her legs and placing the silk sheet over her body to give her at least some dignity. She watches me get dressed, my body slowly becoming fatigued and it takes longer than usual to pull my pants up.


"He's new, Boss wants me to train him to be a Sasin," I say bluntly, I am never really one for the small talk after sex, not with random strippers anyway, not that Eunha is random, but I do kind of want to leave now. I tug my shirt over my head, I will need a shower as soon as I get home, god home sounds so fucking good right now.

"I thought maybe he was your new toy," she smirks, and I just glare at her annoyed she would even say anything like that if it wasn't for the buzz of cocaine right now I probably would have shouted at her for saying such a thing. "He's pretty enough, shorter than Kim though, looks more compliant too." I press my tongue into the side of my mouth trying my very hardest to not fall into her trap of getting angry; this is Eunha, she's always had a thing for seeing me riled up. 

"I should probably head back to him; I'm already twenty minutes later than I said I would be." With that she nods, I hand her the money, standing there and waiting for her to count it all in confirmation before bidding me goodbye, "tonight was fun Eunha, you never know you might see me more from now on." She doesn't reply, and I shut the door as I leave, the same girl who barged in is stood just down the hall, she gives me a knowing look, and I smirk before heading back into the club.

The cocaine makes the music so much more intense; I can smell the perfume on the strippers like it's being wafted under my nose, the giggles echoing in my empty head as I make my way through the crowd and over towards the direction of the bar.

What I didn't expect to find was Jimin grinding on someone on the couches, I curse under my breath and head to the bar. "Jeongguk, I was wondering when I would see your face, your friend over there mentioned you were here," I snort, turning back to look at Jimin who is having a wonderful time, he's so fucking drunk.

"Gave him your usual, said you were paying so he's had four," that would explain it my usual was back in the days when getting drunk was the best thing, and drunk I mean black out, can't remember anything drunk. If Jimin's had four of the fuckers with absinthe in them then holy shit his heads going to be in fucking Hell tomorrow morning.

"Surprising alcohol tolerance, better than yours," Minho snorts and I turn to look back at him with sour eyes, he hands me a drink myself, but I pass. "Ah you went to Eunha," he hums in acknowledgement and probably taking in the redness of my eyes.


"Any idea who he's grinding on?" I ask not feeling like I should intervene just yet, he's only really giving him a lap dance there isn't any harm, besides I did tell him to fuck someone if need be, just didn't think he would take the initiative. Minho shakes his head before asking who he is exactly, "Boss wants me to train him," he lets out an 'ah' before quickly working on someone else's drink at the bar.

 

I turn back to look at Jimin; his hips are moving with such poised persistence that I find myself subconsciously nodding in approval. The way his body delicately grinds down on the other is compelling, it must be from his dancing, how he can sit so poised but yet have such an effect, the man’s head tilting back to rest on the couch as Jimin presses his body down once more. I watch his lips bite at the skin of the man's nape, the man returning the marks just as quickly, Jimin's head this time throwing back and I have to look away at how fucking sexy he looks, lips slack and small moans releasing. Pull yourself together Jeongguk, what the fuck? I blame it on the cocaine, yes Jimin is attractive but he's my partner now, I can't make the same mistake twice. It isn't until I see his hands wander down into the man's trousers that I jump up from my stool and walk over.


"Jimin," I say sternly as I stand there watching Jimin continue to jerk the man off, he seems oblivious and I feel kind of mean to give the man a severe case of blue balls, but I know Jimin is fucked out his mind, a part of me wants to pull him away and be mean but I decide to awkwardly stand there before the mans groaning at his release, he lasted a hefty fifty seconds, what a champ. Before Jimin can start kissing him I quickly tug him off the man's lap, the squeal he makes would make anyone think I just detached one of his limbs and the man is scowling shouting at me.

"Jimin you're going to be dead in the morning," Jimin can hardly even stand let alone make a coherent sentence, so I chuck him over my shoulder and carry him out the club to the protests of the man. I nod at Minho who gives me a humoured smirk and as soon as the cold air of the night hits me the wave of cocaine seems to be flushed from my body.


Jimin is a mumbling mess, he keeps making guttural noises that probably signify a headache is coming along, to be honest, I am not precisely helping with me carrying him over my shoulder like this, but it's the quickest way back to the car. I feel Jimin's hand pat my arse a couple times before giggling and I decide to ignore it, he's drunk, and I can't wait to tease him about this in the morning.

 

By the time we reach my car Jimin is the pinnacle of a drunken mess, I'm pretty sure five minutes into the walk he started crying, and now he's just mumbling to himself about how good my thighs look from this angle, I mean I'll take the compliment because I work hard on them but it's not really the thing you want to hear when people are staring at you like you've reprimanded a child and are taking him home to scald him.

 

"Jimin, help me out here, just get in the car," Jimin is refusing to stand, he's just sat on the floor looking up at me with a wide grin, I take a side note to never leave him alone at a club again unsupervised, this is fucking torture. He pouts when he sees my stern face, "come on, let's go home," I lift him up from under his pits which makes him giggle furiously, thrashing to get away, aha, a weak spot always handy to know.


I get him to stand, for a moment I begin to think he's coming to his senses as his mouth opens and closes like he's trying to say something. I ask him what he said when a low slur falls from this pink tinted lips, his eyes falling slightly before he's stumbling closer, I grab hold of his waist to steady him a little. His face is so flushed from all the alcohol, but I'm surprised with how much he's drunk and hasn't vomited yet.

 

"Sick," Jimin slurs again and before I can even grasp what he said he's throwing up all down my shirt, my mouth falls open in horror, it just keeps coming, and for some weird reason I don't push him away, I just let it keep coming. "Shit, Jeongg-" he throws up again but thankfully turned to the side, the sick splatting wetly onto the street in a horrific fashion. I stand there unable to fathom what the fuck just happened, I know there's sick all down me, and Jimin has curled in on himself violently throwing all the alcohol up.


I snap myself out of it when I hear a sob from Jimin, I quickly strip my shirt off and chuck it away, I am never wearing that again my god. I promptly pick Jimin up who has thankfully stopped throwing up, for now, I hurl him into the car, his head slouched over and his lips are ever so pouty, his eyes have closed, and I think he's passed out. There's still remnants of sick on my trousers, but for now, I am more concerned about Jimin's health.

I decide taking him back to the nest probably isn't the best place for him right now, so he's coming to mine, I'll probably be shouted at in the morning for going against everyone, but Jimin isn't in the right state to be left alone. What if he chokes on his own vomit? Where would we be then? Literally nowhere, we need Jimin, and I plan on sticking to that.

 

00.17AM 

It's not even that late, but the events that have happened today have finally taken their toll, probably that and the fact that my buzz has completely gone. I'm tired, but I can't leave Jimin looking like this. I dampen a towel and run it across his hot, flushed skin, he writhes slightly at the contact, but I have to at least try and help somewhat. He's got drool and sick on his own clothes, so I kindly bundle him into some of mine, he looks strangely adorable in my big baggy t-shirts and joggers, it's oddly domestic looking.

 
He fell asleep pretty quickly; I think he got most of the alcohol out of his system (and all over me instead). I tuck him into my own bed, his head burrowing into the pillows as he hums comfortably. I grab a basin and place it next to him just in case he needs to throw up during the night, along with a handy glass of water and two aspirins for a headache he is undoubtedly going to have. I chuck my trousers into the wash with his before I head for that long-awaited shower that I've been dreaming about since the club. The fresh cooling of my boiling hot flesh is riveting; I feel strangely renewed by it, in other words, it's fucking bliss.

My shower finishes quickly, feeling like I can't leave Jimin alone for too long and when I return he's snuggled up against my pillows, I smile looking at him looking like a little child, strange that he's older than me. I grab some spare clothes, I close the floor just to a jar, hoping he doesn't choke during the night, kind of need him alive. My mind finally catches up with my body as soon as I sink into the hard couch that I rarely use and I pass out almost instantly, the small snores of Jimin filling the darkness of my home before I let myself succumb to the exhaustion. 

Except there's no relief in my dreams, only his face and soft touches, hell in the shape of paradise. 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

 

SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 18 JULY // 08.24AM

"Jeongguk?" I awake to the familiar calling, my whole body aches, every muscle seems to be on fire and yet I haven't even had a chance to work out properly for two days, in my book that's me slacking.

I sit up letting my body wake up before groaning, my bones clicking from the awkward position I was laid in on the couch, note to self to not make that a daily occurrence.


I stroll into my room to see Jimin sat there looking just as dazed and out of it as me, "why do I feel so funny?" It's an innocent question, a wide smile plants itself on my face and his instantly drops. "I didn't sleep with you did I? Oh fuck me, please say that isn't why butt hurts!" I look at him inquisitively, when did he hurt his arse last night? I decide to have a bit of fun with it.


"Yeah babe, we had such a good time last night? Why are you looking at me like that? You were so good to me." Jimin shoots off the bed, ripping his, well my shirt off and gasping in the mirror when he sees hickeys, his eyes widen looking at me with such horror I begin to feel a little offended that he's so repulsed by the idea of me marking him.

"What? Do you not like my artwork babe? Didn't seem like that last night when you were moaning my na-"


"Jeongguk what the fuck happened last night and stop calling me babe, I already feel sick to my stomach!" I snort, that will be the hangover. I gently push his shoulders for him to sit down, his eyes are honestly going to pop out if he keeps staring at me like that, that surely is unhealthy, you know like needing to blink? His eyes are going to become crusty, oh god I just remembered the eyeball that splatted, this day isn't going too well now my stomach feels sick too.


"I'm messing with you, I didn't sleep with you Jimin," I start by saying, however much I love winding him up I don't really want to cause trouble for myself. He doesn't seem to believe me and just points at the hickeys on his neck. "What do you actually remember last night Jimin?"


"I remember you being a dick and calling me a homo, and then we went to that club, and you left me," is that it? Oh boy, I was kind of hoping he would remember what he did last night, but I can't wait to see his reaction. Grab the popcorn everyone this is going to be riveting!

"Well," I start by clearing my throat, I sit down in the chair at my desk that I never use, to be honest I'm never really at my house, it's too lonely here, usually I stay at Yoongi hyungs but that's only when he isn't pissed off with me. "Jimin you had such a jam-packed night," I chuckle, and he huffs impatiently telling me to get on with it. "So after I left you to go do my own little business, you went to the bar and ordered four of my usuals', yeah turns out you shouldn't really make a habit of that Jimin they contain absinthe." His eyes widen mouthing holy shit, with a little awkward chuckle. "When I came back, you were fucking pissed, out of your head drunk but I decided to let you have your fun for a little bit."

His face instantly turns red, "Jeon Jeongguk, what did you let me do?" He snaps fiercely, and he almost sounds scary if it wasn't for how adorable he looks swamped in my clothes like that. I giggle at his anger, "it's not funny! What did you let me do? How did I get these hickeys? Why am I in your clothes and why does my arse hurt?"


"The last question I honestly don't know. Anyway back to your extremely eventful evening, when I came back you were giving some random businessman a lap dance, you were really into it so, like the kind man I am I let you continue." His hands shoot up to his face with a loud groan, I can tell he's embarrassed, I mean I think I would be too. "I let you have your fun, but apparently you weren't finished yet," he groans again his head burying deeper into his palms, it's cute.


"You may or may not have given him a hand job," he groans so loudly I reckon my nonexistent neighbours would hear, he flops back on the bed, head bouncing on the mattress slightly, I chuckle at how dead he looks inside. "He lasted super long too, fifty seconds!" He chuckles at that, "after those magical fifty seconds I pulled you away before it got too intimate and brought you here," he points at the clothes. "Oh yeah how could I forget? You kind of vomited all over me, there was so much sick, you passed out in the car, and I helped clean you up a little, your clothes are in the wash."


"Fuck, I'm so sorry," he whines hands going back over his eyes, "I'm so fucking embarrassing!"


"I mean I wasn't embarrassed, it was rather entertaining until you threw up, that might have been my fault partly, I did chuck you over my shoulder to bring you back to the car, you couldn't even fucking stand!"


"I don't know what came over me, I usually only have a couple of drinks."


"Yeah well, I'm guessing those drinks don't usually contain absinthe."


"I've never had it before, what were you doing anyway? Why did you leave me to embarrass myself like that in the first place?"

"I was dicking someone," his face turns up at that, "what? I was frustrated, and I needed to let off some steam, and I knew just the place and the person to help. You should be thanking me for not taking advantage of you."


"Okay, Thank you? I mean it's pretty normal to not take advantage of people when they are drunk Gguk, but thank you for bringing me here and looking after me it's really sweet." His smile is genuine and my stomach twists slightly, I just shrug before getting up.


"You can use the shower if you want, I'm going to go make us breakfast to help with your hangover, but then we do have to go to training, I'll go lightly on you though considering my body fucking kills too, not my arse though that's just you." Jimin rolls his eyes pushing past me and waltzing into my bathroom like he owns the place, to be honest, I wouldn't mind him living here with me if Boss says he's loyal enough, not like Kim is coming back here, and I could use the company it's been pretty fucking lonely here without him.


With that final thought, I scoff mentally to my mind always somehow finding its way back to him; it's fucking annoying if you ask me. My mind snaps out of it when I hear the water to my shower turning on, and I go into the kitchen to start making the most cliche breakfast, but I really don't have anything else to feed him other than ramen, just happen to have pancake mix and a punnet of raspberries from Seokjin.

 

Ten minutes later, Jimin comes out just as I begin plating, his smile widens extensively at the sight of the sweet-smelling pancakes, "you made these?" He gasps sitting eagerly at the counter, his hair still wet slightly, and he's wearing another set of my clothes which don't actually swamp him this time, he looks good.


He licks his lips as I hand over the plate before I go and sit next to him eating away at my own. "These are so good!" He exclaims over a mouthful, "I never would have thought you could cook," I hum, that is something everyone always expects me to be bad at. I like cooking before the gang I used to cook a lot with my Mum, it was our little thing until she jumped up and left me, just the thought of her makes me stab my fork violently into the pancake, Jimin stares for a moment chewing away in silent contemplation about what's got me so worked up all of a sudden.


"So this hook up you had yesterday, it was a female?" I look at him weirdly, he just innocently sits there plopping raspberries into his own with a small smile. I clear my throat and nod.


"Yes Jimin, it was a female, her name is Eunha, and she's nineteen, want me to set up a meeting for you?" Jimin instantly shakes his head almost repulsed looking, "you really are a homo," I snigger, and he once again goes to shove me, I side eye him, and he instantly stops, glad to see he's getting the message. "I used to fuck her a lot, she was new to Peaches when I joined, she was never on sale because she was too young, but they never stopped me from paying for her."


"You used to pay her when you were fifteen?" He asks shocked, don't really get the issue but I'm seriously beginning to think Jimin lives in this little bubble where nothing bad ever happens.


"Yes I pay her, I wasn't about to sleep with her without doing it even if I was fifteen. Haven't been going as often in the past couple years, but sometimes I'll go there to relieve stress and get buzzed."


"Buzzed?"


"Drugs Jimin, sheesh do you live in bubble wrap?"


"No? I just wasn't expecting you to say that."


"Jimin, I work for a gang; literally ninety per cent of the gang I can assure you does drugs unless you're my three hyungs."


"Is that another thing you're not allowed to do?"


"I mean it isn't going to get you killed, but only Yoongi hyung knows I sometimes do cocaine."


"Cocaine? Jeongguk!" He chokes, eyes widening in shock and I smile, that was Yoongi's exact reaction too, actually no it wasn't his was more monotoned and resulted in a slap.


"What? You've never tried?" He shakes his head violently, "shame you should its a fucking magic powder I swear."


"But that's like super addictive, how are you not dead?"


"I'm not an idiot, I don't do it often enough to get addicted, and I only do it when I'm having sex."


"So you used to do it with Kim?" I shake my head, "he didn't know either?" Again I shake my head, I honestly do hope Jimin runs out of questions to ask about Taehyung, it's really starting to wear me down, but I won't show it. I can't show it; I'm meant to be the tough one, the perfect Sasin and here I am thinking about some prick that left me to become an idol.


"No, I only ever do it when I have sex with girls."


"Why?"

"I don't know, guess it helps me more, sex with girls is great and all but it's nothing like men, dominating girls is basic you know? Like they just kind of lie there and moan for you to fuck them, but men, or at least the ones I have been with are a lot less compliant. I like the fight for dominance when they do submit it's fucking sexy." Jimin just snorts finishing off his pancakes. We stay in comfortable silence for a while, Jimin's really the first person I've had some sort of friendship with that hasn't been through work, sure I'm training him, but it isn't work based.


"It's funny how close I feel to you just after three days," Jimin states like he read my mind, I take his plate to go clean it with mine. "I feel like I know a lot about you, I'm great at doing that, getting people to open up and you are honestly not that hard, I think you tell yourself not to let your emotions show because of this idea of having to be a tough man, but it's okay to talk about your feelings you know? You can talk to me, and I won't judge it."


"You just want me to talk about Kim more," I snort looking over my shoulder at him, he looks at me, and I know I read straight through him. "Seriously I've told you everything there is; let's leave it there, please I honestly don't want to think about him." Jimin nods understanding, his face looks sympathetic, "and stop trying to be sorry for me, I couldn't care less, I'm a big boy, I don't need him to define me Jimin."


"I know, I can just see a sadness in you, and I want to help."


"Well unless you can get him to explain why he betrayed us then you're not going to see that go away."


"You're angry at him."


"Of course I am! He's a snake now, he left us for that, lied to us." I spit angrily, and Jimin hesitates with his next question, him coming round to help dry up.


"If your Boss told you to kill him now if him betraying you is true would you?"


"Yes." I say without a doubt in my mind, "I don't care about him anymore, he died to me the minute he betrayed us, betrayed me."


"And what if he didn't? If he was forced? Or hijacked like Brain said he could have been?"


"Then I'll get him out of there and then kill him."


"But why?"


"There is no why Jimin, I'd do it to all of them, if Yoongi hyung started working for the snakes I'd shoot him, Hoseok too, any of them. Once you're a snake, you can't turn back into an Eagle and learn to fly."


The silence between us after that is tense, Jimin doesn't try and argue and ends up just sitting on my couch watching television whilst I talk on the phone to Namjoon hyung in the other room.

'It's serious, Hoseok got some mice into the idol company, so far Taehyung is showing no signs of refusal.'


'So what does that imply hyung?'


'That maybe he wasn't coerced.'


'So he's a traitor?'


'Too early to tell Gguk, we were able to get one mouse to talk to him on a shoot, tried using code words, and there was nothing, maybe my inkling was correct.'


'Amnesia?'


'It's a possibility Gguk.'


'Right, what about the snake's eyes on Boss at the office?'


'Found five snakes so far, pretty sure there's more but Boss isn't bothered, they can't hurt him at the Fate, not with that many men around. How's training Jimin coming along?'


'Good I guess, he's willing to learn, took him to clean the body up yesterday, was a little squeamish but not everyone can have an iron stomach.'


'Yeah not everyone is sadistic like you and the two hyungs.'


'It's going well though. Obviously, it's early days, but I reckon within a month he'll be ready to be put into action.'


'Oh on the subject of him before I forget, Kwan keeps messaging him, I've sent a couple of texts saying he's busy, but I don't think he's buying it. Bring him over to the nest later, and Jimin can reply, possibly call him just to relieve that mans stress levels.'


'Alright I'll bring him over in a minute, he's just watching tv.'


'Is everything alright Gguk, you sound down.'


'I'm good hyung, don't worry about me.'


'We'll get Kim back Gguk.'


'Yeah, hyung I don't know if I want that anymore.'


'What? Why?'


'He betrayed us.'


'We don't know that for sure Gguk, don't give up on him yet.'


'I haven't; I just don't feel as eager to get him back as I did.'


'Well as you said it's early days, I'm sure we will be able to get somewhere soon, you know us Eagles, nothing stays hidden for long.'


'Yeah hyung I know, I should go, I'll bring Jimin over in an hour or so, he's still kind of hung over.'


'Alright kid, look after yourself yeah?'


'Yeah, see you later hyung.'

I stand there in my office room blinking absent mindlessly at nothing; I don't know what's happening to me, I've never felt this down before. So dejected, that's probably the correct way to describe it. I think I got so used to the idea of him not being here, that I subconsciously hoped he was dead just to make it easier for myself but of course, with my great string of luck he's alive and possibly fraternising with the enemy. A gang he's spent years trying to destroy, I think that's what hurts, there's this horrendous pain in my chest like it's empty and I just know it has something to do with him.


I tell myself constantly to be strong, to be the good Sasin I have been taught to be but whenever I do I just think of Kim, he made me like this, he's the reason I am deadly, but he will always have that over me. I'm lethal, but he will always be the top predator, the only creature that can both make my wings bloom and also break. Kim Taehyung is venom to my veins, a drug I am so addicted to that everything seems so transparent without him.

But I don't get it, I don't know what I miss, what I told Jimin was true, it was just sex, and we established early that that was all it was going to be, something to do when we were bored or frustrated. Its just sometimes Taehyung would say things, in his post-high haze he would pull me close, his warm breath sending shivers across my body like gusts of wind and he'd whisper to me about how he wants us to be together in the end, to have a life away with the gang, that he would never leave me.


He's a fucking liar, and I am just a fool holding onto that little glimmer of hope that maybe he still wants that, that perhaps he isn't the cunt I'm trying to make him out to be in my head to stop me from falling. But my descent is already upon me, I can feel it, my wings not strong enough to stabilise the fall, it's a death that will inevitably end in pain. All because I am a stupid boy with the false hope that maybe my life isn't as black and white as it seems.


"Jeongguk come look!" Jimin yells distantly, I snap out of my daze, I'm such a fucking weak bitch, and it angers me because I'm not like this, I'm never like this, but here I am, Park Jimin opened the floodgates, and now I can't seem to get control. I slowly ponder out of the office and into the living room where Jimin is sat on the floor crossed legged watching the television like a brainwashed child watching Sponge-Bob for five hours until their parents have to drag them away. "Look," Jimin says not bothering to turn as I stand behind the couch, I'm still in a daze, and it hasn't entirely processed in my head what he's asking me to look at.

'Kim Taehyung set to debut on August 24th under Big Hit Entertainment; the twenty-two-year-old star is already estimated to become the new hottest voice.' I stare at the pictures on the screen of him flashing by, a mixture of paparazzi photos and official pre-debut images, he looks so different, he was always well groomed and expensive looking but this is a whole other level, Jimin's watching some gossip channel and the presenters are yapping away about this new mysterious Kim Taehyung. 'He's already been linked to multiple different celebrities, he's been seen with actor Park Seojoon is the most common, they always look very cosy together.' An image of Taehyung with some man comes up on the screen, they are just eating, but the smile on Taehyung's face is like the largest knife cutting the aorta to my heart, hopefully, in a couple of minutes, I'll have bled to death so my brain can't torture me any more than it has done. The screen suddenly goes black, and Jimin instantly turns to see me just staring, I wish he didn't have such an effect on me.

"I'm sorry Gguk, I didn't know they would do that," Jimin murmurs shyly, and I just shrug telling him it's not his fault. The room is deadly silent after that, only Jimin's subtle breaths filling in the heavy room like smoke, it's choking me but yet there's no fight, there's no willingness to fight against it. "Gossip channels always do that Gguk; it's probably nothing."


"I don't care Jimin." I snap instantly, my voice raised just slightly, but it is enough to make him flinch, "come on we need to go to the nest." I bluntly command turning around and heading back into my room to get dressed.

I slam the door, I can feel the anger bubbling inside me, I pace around trying to calm myself, but his photos keep flashing in my head, it's driving me insane. Before I can even stop myself I punch the wall, I punch it so hard that the shock splinters up my arm in agonising jabs, I dented the wall. Jimin comes barging in to see me holding my hand, he puts two and two together and sighs pulling me into an embrace. I just stand there allowing him to hug me, in a way it does help. it squeezes the broken shards together just enough to stop it from shattering but one more stone thrown and I will crumble.

 


 

 

SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 10.09AM 

The nest is eerily quiet; usually, Yoongi hyung and Hoseok hyung are here debating away about something I couldn't care less about, but today it's just Namjoon hyung. Jimin has been in a strange mood ever since we left the apartment, he stopped talking after a while which in a way I am grateful for, I don't really want to speak, but the silence in this room isn't exactly comfortable.


Namjoon is typing away at his computer, Jimin sat in front of his desk with his knees tucked up to his chest as he spins back and forth on the chair, it's seriously annoying, but I don't have the heart to snap at him. I've lost all energy, and I just want to wallow in my self-pity for a little longer.

I sit there in on the leather suite placed in the corner of Namjoon's office next to his extensive book collection, when he isn't working he sits here and reads philosophical shit that I will never understand. My head is down, picking away at the loose seams on my ripped jeans, I can feel Jimin and Namjoon every so often sharing looks after glancing over at me but neither mention anything out loud. My hand fucking kills, I haven't broken anything like Jimin worried I had when it swelled up like when you put water inside a rubber glove as a kid, he bandaged it anyway 'just in case'. Those were his last words to me before we silently made our way over here.

The typing stops and Jimin looks back up at Namjoon, his chair squeaking against the hard floor as he pushes up from his seat and wanders over to the safe, the beeps signifying he's opening it before he's pulling out different items. He walks back over to his desk, clearing his throat, I glance up at them for a brief moment, they are not doing anything that interesting, just reading something on Namjoon's screen before they burst into giggles. I don't know exactly when Jimin and Namjoon became close, to be honest, I don't even know when myself and Jimin became considered friends, but I oddly feel like I'm third wheeling, of course, it's all on my own accord, I am choosing to stay silent, but it doesn't stop me feeling neglected in a strange way.


"Gguk are you going to sulk in the corner all day or are you going to put your big boy pants on and help train Jimin?" Namjoon asks with a hint of playfulness but it's completely lost on me, I'm not in the mood, and I just give him a sharp glare, his smile with those deep dimples falls into a frown, and Jimin pouts looking over at me with the same expression as the older. I scoff, shifting my body so I am facing away from them slightly and resting my hand on my temple to block my view of them both.

"Jeongguk either tell us what's wrong or just leave; I'll sort Jimin out if you're just going to act childish." I sigh loudly turning back to both of them, Namjoon has his arms crossed against his chest tight, his eyebrows stern and I know he isn't playing around anymore, at times hyung can be scarier than Yoongi.


"What's wrong?" Namjoon asks again, my gaze falls from his face onto Jimin who's giving me a soft smile, I know he's trying to tell me that it's okay and that I can talk to them, but I don't want to, I don't want to share my thoughts with them. If I do then they will see how weak and pathetic I am for being caught up on a guy who was merely just some fun, they'll see how I don't really want to be here anymore and that I just want to go kill some fuckers that piss me off.


"I have some news on Kim if you want to hear," he continues after not getting an answer, he leans back on his chair, it creaking slightly from the shift in weight, the light reflecting on his glasses blocks my ability to see his eyes but I know he's staring at me, he's trying to work me out and I am not letting that happen. "I already told you that the mice have been able to infiltrate the company, snakes haven't caught on, far as I am aware they aren't in total control of it yet. Taehyung is owned by Big Hit, not Baem Gumeong; Adder doesn't fully control him."


"Why are you telling me this?" I ask bluntly; I honestly couldn't care less who owns him, I don't care about him anymore, I don't want to hear his name, see his face, I don't want to think about him anymore.

I don't love him; I don't love him, I don't love him, I don't love him, I don't love him, I don't fucking love him. 

"Jeongguk I am trying to be helpful, stop being a brat." Namjoon sighs getting fed up with my attitude, Jimin sits there turning the chair side to side slightly as he cuddles his legs, his chin resting on his knees with a pout, his eyes batting between myself and hyung. "You might like to pretend you don't care, but I know you do, Kim's situation is still unknown, I doubt we will truly know unless we are able to either get it from a snake ourselves or through Taehyung. Neither is possible unless you are willing to cooperate and train Jimin like you said you would, I think you've forgotten that both yours and Jimin's lives are at stake here, if Boss isn't happy with his training-"


"I know, I'll fucking die, got that loud and clear the first time he said it." I spit chucking my legs over the side of the couch, Namjoon rests his hand on his forehead, he's getting really agitated, and I've only ever seen him in this mood a couple times; usually, it's because of a snake but never me. Then again I'm usually not this irritating; even my mood is starting to grate on me. "Hyung I get you're trying to be helpful, but I don't care about Kim anymore, I'll train Jimin but please no more about Taehyung I can't deal with it."


The silence is harrowing, I regret even opening my mouth, the unspoken thoughts coming from both of the older's chokes me, and I hate it. I get up, unable to cope in that room any longer with the air growing thick, I hear them mumbling to one another, and I don't even care anymore if it's about me.

As if right on cue, Yoongi comes barging into the nest with a coffee in hand, he's wearing his usual black attire and has a lovely purple bruise on his eye to match. I scoff at him, "you look like shit," I mutter sitting on one of the chairs we have meetings at, Yoongi glances over at me unfazed.


"Could say the same thing about you, kid," he retorts going over to the cabinet to grab a gun and begins polishing it like it wasn't cleaned just yesterday by Hoseok. They fight about that a lot, one of them not cleaning the weaponry properly and the other gets angry if it isn't sparkling. The only thing is that they are always clean they just have different definitions of what 'sparkling' actually means. "What's up with you, kid? Where's your new accessory?" Yoongi snidely remarks and I point to hyung's office where a small giggle can be heard coming from the man in question. "Replaced you already? Must be a new record." I just shove a middle finger in his face before I go back to wallowing in my self-pity.


Yoongi sits across from me, fag in mouth not yet lighted as he buffs the gun, "if you rub it anymore it's either going to report you for sexual assault or a genie will pop out," I say not trying to be funny but Yoongi's classic gummy smile appears, and my mood lifts slightly, "that wasn't meant to be funny, I'm being serious, that gun is clean hyung."


"It's never clean if Hoseok gets his grubby hands on it," he scowls going back to rubbing the gun a little harder just to prove a point, "are you going to tell me what's biting your balls or are you just going to sit there like a wet sock?" Wet sock, that's a new one, last week it was diseased toenail, for someone who's literal job is to interrogate people and beat them up he isn't very good with his insults.


"Nothing hyung," I reply, my tone does nothing to help cover the lie, and he stares at me sternly, unlike Namjoon I actually have to look away from his gaze because oh boy, Yoongi hyung's gaze is like Medusa or something, it's lethal. Liar, he says lifting his coffee to his lips and taking a hard gulp, he places the gun down on the table and sits there never losing his observation of my blatant lie. "I swear to god if you're caught up on Taehyung I'm going to come round there and slap you!"


"No," I say this time sounding less like I'm lying but he still gets up and storms over, I kick my leg out to stop him coming any further, but he just grabs hold of my ankle and yanks me off the chair. I fall hard on my ass onto the concrete floor, and then he's stood over me playfully shaking my shoulders, "hyung!" I yell trying to stifle my laughter as he pretends to kick me in the ribs.


"Hyung?" Namjoon questions standing in the doorway to his office looking at the sight which is me holding Yoongi down on by his leg whilst he headlocks me, we both turn to look at him, and he sniggers at the shambles of tangled limbs. I groan at the stretch in the muscles of my back as Yoongi tackles me out of my hold. Jimin is stood next to him now, a smile fighting its way onto his lips, "I swear to God, hyung are you drunk?"


"No Namjoon I am not drunk, does anyone care to explain to me why the kid is sulking? What did you do to him?" Yoongi asks releasing me from his death grip and standing up like nothing happened; I follow standing beside him and looking down. I find it so funny how I am taller than him, when I joined he was a lot taller, now he's just an angry old man with a soft spot for me.


"Don't blame either of us for his bad mood; he brought it upon himself," Namjoon remarks, the blank expression back on his face as he crosses his arms again, Yoongi turns to look at me his gaze stern, I just look around, anywhere but at them.


"Jeongguk shouldn't have to explain himself if he doesn't feel comfortable, I'm sure he will tell us when he's ready," Jimin speaks gingerly as all eyes shift onto him. "I mean, he's allowed to feel upset and not have to justify it, I think we all know the reason behind his sulk as you put it, do we really need to force it out of him?" For the first time, I am grateful Jimin is as kind as he is, he's the first person to actually take into account of my feelings in a way that doesn't force me open like a clam that isn't quite ready to share its pearl.


"As much as I appreciate you words snake, Jeongguk isn't a child, he doesn't need to be babied and if there is a problem we should know." Yoongi retaliates, and Jimin sinks again.


"No hyung, Jimin hyung is right, I shouldn't be forced. He's right we all know why and I'm not ready to talk about it so if we could all just try and move past this, we have bigger issues to deal with than my bad mood."


"Fine, as long as you are willing to actually do something productive today and not just sit there making the holes in your jeans bigger." Namjoon counteracts, and I nod, my moods been raised slightly by Yoongi hyung, so I don't feel as dejected as I did. "Now, we have a snake to talk to," he continues before walking back into his office leading Jimin.


"Snake?" Yoongi asks with his brows furrowed so hard there's a deep dent in his forehead as he follows the two into the room after grabbing his trusty coffee.


"Yeah, Jimin is going to talk to Kwan, we need to keep him thinking everything is normal, we've already threatened that by having him not at his apartment and Gguk killing the serpent in charge of caring for him."

Yoongi's eyes snap onto me as I walk into the room, I give him an innocent grin which just makes him roll his eyes and sit down at the desk next to Jimin. I watch the younger look on edge about being seated next to the man that gave him a lovely bruise on his jaw, but now Yoongi is just as worn down as he is, if not more.


"We've already sent him a couple messages, he's in a meeting right now but he said he would call Jimin as soon as he's out, I've wired the phone, so we can record the conversation for later purposes if needed."


"Snake how dumb is your cousin would you say? One being Jeongguk and ten being any usual person with a normal IQ."


"What the fuck hyung?" I gasp beyond offended at his remark, Jimin just nervously giggles as Yoongi sniggers happily at his joke, he's the fucking worst I swear.


"Kwan isn't dumb if that's what you're trying to say but he trusts me, I'm his only family left, so I don't think he'll suspect anything."


"How good are you at lying?" Yoongi asks glaring over the rim of his coffee, Jimin's eyes look down, I've never seen him so anxious around anyone, Yoongi hyung isn't that scary, is he?


"He's not bad hyung, he can pull off a lie, but he isn't our level yet."


"Don't know what you mean by our level, you can't lie for jack shit!"


"Excuse me? I'm a fucking Oscar winner with my performances."


"You are only good at lying if it has something to do with your dick, don't even try to deny it. Snake has he done the 'gay lovers' routine with you yet? That's his favourite." Jimin giggles loudly and Yoongi actually cracks a smile, "fucking knew it; honestly Gguk you need to learn to not use your dick in every situation."


"Well, it's worked all this time hyung, besides it's fun to watch them squirm."

"Fine, continue being a fucking horny perv but snake you'll need to be able to pull off any lie if we want to keep Adder in the dark, we can't afford a slip-up." Jimin just nods hastily; he's biting his bottom lip and fiddling with his hands, traits I have picked up from him over the past few days as nervous habits. I hope he doesn't stay this on edge around hyung for long, Yoongi might have a nasty bark, but he would never bite Jimin now that he's in the gang, not unless he really fucks up and if I have anything to do with it that won't happen.


Right on time, a loud ringing chimes around the room, Jimin jumping slightly at the sudden blaring of his phone as the id of 'Kwan' comes onto the screen. He gulps as Namjoon pushes the phone towards him, Jimin looks back at me with a worried expression, and I get up to come stand next to him, I put a hand on his back to hopefully alleviate some of the stress he is feeling.

"Relax kid, if you're nervous he'll notice." Yoongi calmly speaks downing the last of his coffee before chucking the polystyrene cup into Namjoon's bin, silently cheering himself that it went in, Namjoon goes to high five him, but Yoongi blatantly ignores his gesture.


Jimin coughs clearing his throat, and I squeeze his shoulder, perching myself on the arm of his chair. Jimin picks the phone up trying to calm the blatant shake of his hands as he lifts it to his ear, Namjoon mouths to put it on speaker and he does, placing it back onto the table as the static of the lines connecting appears.

 

‘Hi, hyung.'


'Jimin, why haven't you been answering my messages? Care to explain to me why Python is fucking dead?'


'Python? I haven't seen him in days hyung; he's dead?'


'Yeah, fucking crow killed him, all I want to know is why he wasn't with you. I specifically told him to stay with you at all times.'


'The last time I saw him hyung was on my way to University, he dropped by in the morning to check on me, and I haven't seen him since, are you sure he's dead?'


'Yeah, I'm sure Jimin. Want to know who killed him?'


'I'm sure I don't know who it is hyung.'


'Sniper, he got another one of my fucking men, stupid prick thinking he can come onto our land and shoot my men, men I've sent to protect you.'


'I don't need protecting hyung; I'm twenty-two.'


'And you're still my cousin Jimin, my responsibility, your Mother made sure I look after you, and I leave you alone for one week, and one of my men ends up dead.'


'Why are you telling me all this hyung?'


'I don't know, I'm pissed off, Seokjin has caught on that we have men working in his office, he's got those fucking crows working for him I know it they've killed five so far, sent us their ears just to make their fucking point clear. Shame they haven't found the other twelve yet, in no time at all that cunt will be dead, and we'll be strong enough to kill every fucking crow that comes into our paths starting with that fucking Sniper.'


'Wait why do you have people in his office? How do you know Seokjin has crows working for him?'


'I don't, it's a guess but considering they are the ones catching and killing my men that I planted in there I would say that's reason enough to believe he isn't as precious as he's making out to be.'


'But Seokjin isn't a crow? Why would he use them to kill your men?'


'Jimin if I knew I would tell you, anyway, I'm sending Viper to look after you from now on, why haven't you been staying at your apartment I bought you?'


'Oh, I urm...'


'Please don't tell me what Black Mamba said was true, you're not a homo are you Chimmy?'


'What did he say?'


'That he went over to your apartment and found you with some dude called, what did he say he was called? Justin.'


'Justin is just a friend hyung; he lives close to Uni so I've been crashing at his whilst I've been rehearsing for that dance recital, remember the one I told you about?'


'Well I don't like him, drop him. You're going back to your apartment where Viper can watch you okay?'


'But it's just so much easier to-'


'Jimin do as I fucking tell you to do! Seriously don't wind me up because I'm already fucking agitated about this fucking crow we have!'


'Crow?'


'Yeah, that Kim, remember? The one we are using.'


'Oh yeah, where is he now?'


'Still, with Boa, we've made him an idol now Jimin, it's fucking hilarious, I bet the crows are fuming! He's right there, but they can't fucking get him.'


'Why isn't he putting up a fight? Surely he wouldn't just comply would he?'


'Nah, he put up such a fucking fight at the beginning, I was so close to just shooting him and sending his pretty little head to them in a box, but we found a way to silence him.'


'What's that hyung?'


'Why are you so interested all of a sudden?'


'I-I'm not, I mean I am but I've missed talking to you, and I want to know more about your gang.'


'Hmm, alright, I don't want to tell you how we got him to shut up, but let's just say it took a lot of fucking and a little surgery on the brain, nothing too serious.'


'Brain? Hyung what did you do to him?'


'Don't worry your little head over it Chimmy, he's mine now, he's a nice little toy to play with, I understand now why he's always talking about a Gukkie, whatever the fuck that is, I had to gag him to stop him yelling out to him all the fucking time.'


'Gukkie?'


'Yeah must be a lover or something, Boa reckons it's one of the inner circle, but those pricks have nothing on them that leads to a fucking Gukkie.'


'Maybe it's a family member?'


'Maybe, doesn't matter now, he's forgotten all of them.'


'Because of the brain?'


'Yeah, because of the brain.'


'I see.'


'I've got to go now cousin; you're going back to your fucking apartment, drop that Justin and stay close to Viper until I get back I have a nasty feeling Sniper might be onto you.'


'Don't worry about me hyung, and there's no way Sniper can find me.'


'I hope so, if he got you, Chimmy, I'd be fucked, you know being family and all that.'


'Yeah, don't worry hyung, have a nice trip okay? Get home safely, and we can catch up soon.'

 

The phone cuts out, and we all sit in silence, the information Kwan just gave us floating around our heads in circles as we try to figure out everything. "You were wrong, kid," Yoongi states suddenly and Jimin turns to look at him, his face still riddled with worry at his stern blank stare. I put an arm around Jimin's shoulder trying to hold back my smile, Namjoon too. Jimin starts stammering, saying how he did everything he could. "Kid relax honestly, if I wanted to kill you I would have done it already, you're one of us now." Jimin eyes blow up as his mouth drops open, I cheer slightly squeezing his shoulders again, "you were wrong though."

"How?"

"Kwan is fucking stupid." Yoongi snorts and both myself and Namjoon hyung burst into laughter, Jimin sits there unsure about our sudden enjoyment, "he just fucking gave us so much information, I didn't know he would be such a talker." 

"He, he usually isn't, I don't know what came over him." Jimin shifts his gaze to his lap solemnly; I can tell that this is hard for the older, you can see that there's a relationship between them even if it is frayed slightly at the edges. "What are you going to do now?" 

"Carry on as we were, we were correct with all our assumptions, Kwan just gave us a number of heads to put bullets into to save Seokjin."

"Wait, what? Seokjin?"

"Yeah kid, Seokjin."

"You work for him?"

"Not as such, we own this city Jimin, Seokjin is a part of that."

"But, he's meant to be a good guy."

"There are no good guys in this world Park, no bad guys either, just people trying to survive the best way they know how," Namjoon says, and I groan at how he had to turn our moment into a chance for one of his philosophical insights into the human condition. 

"What about Kim?"

"Now we know he didn't betray us we can start our plan," Yoongi adds leaning on his chair, a smile on his face, he's so fucking pleased I bet he can't wait to go and tell Boss about how much of an idiot the leader of the snakes is. 

"We are going to get him out of there, all we need now is you trained, and then we can begin."

"Better get cracking then shouldn't we?" I say pushing him into me a little, and he looks up with a wry smile, I just beam back down at him, it feels like we've changed places a little, but I'm buzzing off what Kwan has given us to work with. It means I'm going to be sent out to do some killing and I am just itching to shoot some fuckers. 

Everything is coming together and Seoul in no time at all will be a bloodbath paved in the red of snakes.  

 

 


 

 

 

SEOUL - SEOCHO-GU // 31 JULY // 13.32PM

I would be lying if I said we hadn't gone on a bloodbath, we managed to find all twelve other snakes hidden within Seokjin's office, it wasn't hard all you have to do is use your eyes, and you can smell the poison of a snake from miles away. Yoongi hyung made sure the snakes got the message that we are not to be crossed, that infiltrating our city isn't smart, of course, they responded by killing our men, overran a casino and gunned it down. Luckily many of the people inside weren't actually Eagles, it was treated as a terrorist attack, and the NPA are onto them. They make some really fucking stupid decisions, that's why we will always be better, we don't act on impulse.


Training Park has taken up most of my time away from teaching snakes what the fuck not to do, Jimin over the three weeks of being here has made significant progress. He's almost entirely prepared, his shooting ability is on the same level as mine and thankfully he is no longer squeamish when we go on missions to kill some snakes. He still isn't ready but he's getting there and he's getting there quick. I've noticed a big change in Jimin's attitude as well, he's still that kind, insanely sweet young man but now there's an element of hardness, of knowing sixty different ways to stop you breathing. He's no longer afraid and I am proud of how far he has come in shut a short amount of time, he's been so determined to help that we have spent most days training 14 hours more or less.


He's yet to have his loyalty test, it's pretty fucking clear that he isn't going to go running off to Adder when he's gaining us information on them almost weekly, of course, we are smart with what we act on, we can't just hop onto it and expect Adder not to realise someone is telling us this information, Jimin would be high on that list of suspects and we cannot afford to let that happen. We had to work around the Viper situation, Kwan wouldn't let off about Jimin staying in that apartment, so we did the only thing we knew how Yoongi set it on fire.

 

To say Kwan was pissed off would be the biggest fucking understatement of the century, he yelled down the phone at Jimin for a good thirty minutes about being careless and that when he goes back, he's going to teach Jimin 'how to behave'. Obviously, he's getting nowhere near Jimin at all, but he returns in a week, and we really need Jimin tested before then just so if he does have to meet Kwan we know for certain, well the others in the gang know for sure that he isn't a snake.

I have full trust in him. Jimin and I have become close, he moved into my apartment with me a week and a half ago, and his presence has made a big difference. It's no longer stone cold feeling when I walk into the place; we had to find places for some of Jimin's furniture that he didn't want to be burned in the fire. So, my house is no longer just grey and white, there are random pops of colour like Jimin's 'baby pink' as he called it throw that lives permanently on the end of the couch, or his love for flowers and plants that fill every flat surface, or the constant smell of sweetness that can only be described as Jimin. The bathroom looks so fucking domestic, he has an en suite but demands on using my bathroom because it has a bath and I quote 'I can't exactly use my bath bombs in a shower can I Jeongguk?' In fact there's a fucking hamper full of bath bombs, I didn't even know that was a thing, but apparently, it is. Jimin's skincare products take up most of the cabinet in there too, if anyone were to come round and see our toothbrushes placed next to one another they would think we are together, we are not let's make that clear from the get-go.


Anyway, we are in Seocho-gu today because today is the city Fate, Seokjin is making an appearance to open some building that I don't really know anything about, I'm only here to keep snakes out. Jimin is with Namjoon hyung, we couldn't afford for a snake to recognise him and blow our cover, so it's just myself, Yoongi hyung and Hoseok hyung, along with forty other Eagles, all loaded with weapons, there is no way they can get to Boss without finding us first.


The streets are packed, the weather is immensely overheating, and the huddle of people is overbearing, but I have to stay in position, the Fate has yet to begin and the stalls of food waft in the hot air, my stomach growling loudly at the thought. Yoongi looks over from his position, "go eat kid," he mumbles under his mask and black hood, he must be boiling, I'm in disguise, I don't look like I could be a member of a gang, so it just looks like I'm a kid here to see the most famous businessman in Korea. Obviously, that isn't true and I, in fact, have a knife attached to my ankle and a gun on my hip but what they don't know won't hurt them. Even in a baggy white t-shirt and jeans, I am boiling, it's one of these days where you just want to be naked and having an ice cold beverage, fuck now I want that. "Kid, seriously go eat your stomach is going to start opera singing in a moment, here get me something too," with that hyung hands me over some money, and I grin, of course, he will pay for my food.


Happily, I stroll through the crowds and over to the stalls selling the most amazing smelling food, my stomach does backflips at the thought of any of it, that's when my eyes catch on it. Fucking lamb skewers. A chorus of singing women goes off in my head hallelujah! I lick my lips before zooming over to the stall being run by an old woman, and I smile at her brightly before eyeing up the delicious meat sticks. "What would you like son?" She asks, her voice withered from age but kind none the less, she sees me staring holes into the skewers and chuckles lightly. "How many love?" I try to think about this logically, how many will sustain my stomach for the rest of this stupid Fate? Five? I can always get something else too, oh and hyung.

"I'll take ten please," her eyes widen before chuckling, "it's not only for me, my hyung is over there," I say trying to justify it by pointing in the general direction of where Yoongi hyung was, she doesn't seem bothered though.


"You're a growing boy, enjoy them," she smiles packing them into a box and giving me some noodles too, I'm itching to eat these, my stomach decides to growl again. "Oh my! Here have some more for free, a young man like you can't be starving on a day like this!" I just smile, she's kind. "Are you here to see that businessman?"


"Urr, yeah I guess, I don't really know why I am here, hyung made me come," she nods stuffing more skewers into the box before handing it to me, the smell is divine, I give her the money before turning away. "Thank you, have a good day!" I chime before skipping away and back towards where hyung was. "Hyung! Look what I got!" Yoongi looks up from staring at the ground to see my waving a lamb skewer in his face, his eyes following it into my mouth where I moan from the sticky flavour. "Fuck! Hyung have some!" I shove the box over to him as I place myself on the curb.


"How did you even find lamb skewers? Do they call to you or something?" Yoongi asks looking down at me from my seat on the floor before he groans sitting down beside me so we can share the box. I just snort licking my fingers to get every little bit; this is almost as good as the ones we go get every month. "We need to finish this before two; Boss is coming then, that's when the snakes will appear if they have the balls."


"Do snakes have balls?" Yoongi shoots a glare at me; I just stare wide-eyed innocently at him, smacking my lips as I chew the delicate meat. He doesn't reply for a while just stares at me in disbelief; it was a serious question, you don't precisely see snakes slithering around with a ball-sack do you?


"Yes Jeongguk, what the fuck?"


"Where?"


"What do you mean where? By their dick, Jesus Christ what the fuck is this conversation?"


"They have dicks?"


"Fuck off kid, you're so fucking dumb!" Yoongi shakes his head profusely, I can feel him losing brain cells just by replying, of course, I know snakes have dicks, I am not that stupid. "I should have fucking forced you back to school."


"Ah yeah hyung because that's a subject I'll learn at University, 'snake genitalia class' it's my favourite." He clips my ear and stands up grabbing three skewers and walks off; he isn't pissed off he just needs time to calm down from his regret of letting me into his life. I just sit there sniggering as I watch him walk as far away as possible but not stepping out of the section we are guarding.


'Snakes 4 O'clock'


I look up from my phone message from hyung; I look at him as he nudges his head to look over to my right, I fucking knew they would have the balls to come here. They don't even try and hide themselves, fucking idiots. Three men stand there with ugly tattoos spreading over their skin that can be seen, ugly fuckers with obvious Glocks' attached to their sides. I pull my hoodie over my head, instantly hating the feeling of the thick material against my sweaty skin, I tug my face mask over my face. I turn back to look at hyung, and he isn't there, I look around trying to hide a black hoodie throughout the crowd, I don't see him. 

'Watch them I'm getting back up.'


I shove my phone back into my pocket, I sigh having to leave my skewers, I suppose I can bring them along for the ride but if they notice me it's a bit of a hindrance and fucking depressing if I have to chuck them on the floor just to grab my gun in time to shoot one of the fuckers. I'll come back for them later, grabbing one quickly and shoving the tender meat into my mouth and slowly begin following the men. 

I shove through the crowds, none of them have noticed my presence yet, just a shadow in the background as they march with a purpose to where I am guessing is the place Seokjin is going to do his speech and the opening of the building. Lucky for me they are heading in the direction of the other men, I can't keep them hoodie on any longer another wise I'm going to die of heat stroke, I whip it off, tying it around my waist and continue following them through the crowds getting heavier by the minute. It's ten minutes before Boss appears, plenty of time to dispose of these fuckers and make sure he's safe. 

My phone starts ringing and I notice the men start walking in a different direction to where the city centre is, I squint my eyes at it suddenly, I ignore the call thinking it will just be Jimin or someone wanting to know when I'll be back home, he does that a lot, call me up to see, I joke around saying he's like a koala or something with attachment issues. The men turn off into a street with fewer people, and I realise they are probably trying to find a building to get a view of Seokjin to make it look like an assassination, well I guess it is an assassination, but that won't be happening today, not whilst I'm around. 

I watch from the end of the street subtly as they one by one file into an abandoned building, I snort, they are making this so fucking easy. My phone rings again and I continue to ignore it, I can't take my attention of these men, I'll just call Jimin when they are all dead. I wish I brought my lamb skewers, it's more shaded over here so I chuck my hoodie back on and tug the hood over my head. I eye my surroundings before grabbing my gun from my halter, lets get this over and done with quickly and then I can go home and have a nice bottle of cold beer, oh fuck that sounds so good right now. 

I don't know where Yoongi is; he must be busy probably informing Boss that snakes actually had the nerve to come and try and kill him, they honestly underestimate us too much. I snigger to myself about how easy all of this is, fucking snakes have brains the size of raisins I swear. The chatter of people on the streets drowns out the sound of me taking the safety off my gun and I start walking towards the door they went through. This street is really ratty; they probably hide out here, looks like a place they would stay. I suddenly remember to turn my phone on silent just to not get me into a similar situation as last time, Jimin isn't going to be my death. But this is nothing, I've gone against more men by myself, without even looking at my phone. I flick the button onto silent, I look at my watch, six minutes. 

I hesitantly push the door open, thankfully it doesn't creak otherwise I'll be in some fucking trouble. The house is completely abandoned, it's dingy and incredibly dusty, thank fuck I have a mask on otherwise I'd be breathing in so much shit. I hear low mutters coming from upstairs accompanied by footsteps moving into different rooms; I have to do this quick if I want to ambush them. 'Fucking crows everywhere mate' a gruff voice speaks as I cautiously step onto the stairs keeping my eyes trained on the rooms hoping they are not in the corridor and are in a room, I can't afford to be seen yet. 'Well, they haven't caught us, stupid fucks thinking they are smart.'  I smirk at that remark, oh honey if you only knew. I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket, seriously stop fucking calling me Jimin I'll beat your ass when I get home. 

 

Thankfully all three men are in one room which I am guessing would be a bedroom if it wasn't abandoned, they are all stood facing away from me looking out the window probably trying to find the perfect spot to shoot Boss. Too bad they aren't going to be alive much longer. I don't hesitate to make my presence known by shooting one man straight into the head; it's a PSS silent pistol, so they don't even see it coming before I'm shooting another man in the chest. The last man whips around as his two accomplices flop to the floor dead. "What the fuck?" He hisses, I hide behind the wall as he storms forward and out into the corridor, which of course is accompanied by a gunshot straight to the throat before he can even turn to shoot me. 

"Too fucking easy," I mutter looking at the three men as they bleed out, "what a fucking waste of time," I snort poking the man on the floor with my shoe just to check he's actually dead. I stroll into the room they were situated in, I poke my head out to see what the view is like, yep, perfect view of where Seokjin is going to do his speech in less than a minute. I feel my phone vibrate again and I sigh, Jimin seriously what the fuck is wrong with you? Can you not go five minutes without me? I know I'm perfect and great company but I do have a job to do.
 

'What do you want Jimin?' 

'Jeongguk where are you!"

'You know where I am, I'm doing the thing I'm always doing, why are you yelling?'

'Jeongguk the snakes!'

'What about them Jimin? Just get to the point, I've already killed three.' 

'No, no you need to listen Gguk, the snakes are coming!'

'I honestly don't get what you are saying slow down.'

'Jeongguk get your fucking ass out of there! Jesus get out!'

'Why?'

'Seriously fucking listen to me, Kwan is back! He's sent Cobra; he's fucking going to shoot Seokjin! They know where you all are!'

'How do you know this?'

'He called me to say that he's going to get power finally, get to Seokjin Gguk!'

'Where's Yoongi hyung?'

'I don't know, Jesus please Gguk get yourself out of wherever the fuck you are and stop Cobra!'

'Alright fucking hell, calm down Jimin, they aren't going to hurt us.' 

'No you don't understand Gguk, Kwan never puts himself in the action unless he has at least a hundred men!'

'Jimin you're forgetting who we are, we've killed more than a hundred of them before.' 

'Stop being cocky and get your arse to Seokjin!' 

'Fine.' 

'Fine okay, please come home.' 

'Of course, I will Jimin.' 

 

Abruptly as soon as my phone cuts out the door slams open, I shoot round to face the sudden intrusion cursing under my breath, there's little option in the way of hiding, so I'm just going to have to shoot my way out. "We know you're here Sniper!" A deathly familiar voice calls, the amount of footsteps walking throughout the house isn't a good sign, fuck, my phone starts vibrating again, and I see Yoongi hyung calling, I can't afford to answer. 

'Kid where are you? Cobra is here.' 

Before I can even text a reply feet are quickly storming up the stairs and I duck behind the Chester-drawers left abandoned in the middle of the room, I'm fucked. "Oh Sniper, I see you've had your fun!" The voice bellows laughing menacingly, I say ducked behind the drawers, they haven't come into this room yet. I mumble to myself trying to prepare myself for a bloodbath that could very well result in my death; I'd rather not die though, kind of want my cold beer and my abandoned lamb skewers. "Do you think we are stupid Sniper? Why are you here by yourself?" Adder beckons from a neighbouring room, I shift on my feet and of course the floorboard creaks. Fuck my fucking life, what the actual fuck? 

The laughing grows close and I know he's in the doorway or at least someone is, it's now or never. I jump up and instantly fire my gun, the bullet piercing straight through his chest and another body flops to the floor. He's replaced by three more which I gun down with ease; they don't even have a chance to lift their guns before I am shooting them, fucking amateurs thinking they know what to do in a gunfight. "Oh come on Sniper, play fair!" A voice calls, but he isn't appearing, "you're not getting out of this one, you're a dead crow." 

I don't reply; I can't afford to show my identity in any way to him, just in case I need it later. The mass of bodies begins to pile up as men come flying at the door and are dead within two seconds of getting there, it's starting to remind me of that game you play at the fun fair, knock down the cans and win a prize, that's what I am doing right now with these men. They aren't even trying, this is fucking boring. Like all my luck I speak too fucking soon, I run out of ammo. 

The men clock this just as I make maybe the worse decision of my life, I take one look at the window knowing I only have a couple seconds to get out before I'm shot. I stand once more, I glance over to the door, one man stands there with his gun raise towards me, "fucking over Sniper," he grins widely but I don't give him that satisfaction. I sprint to the window, glass shattering around my body as the gun fires. 

You know in action movies when everything goes in slow motion when a dramatic scene happens, well right now I am experiencing that, I can see I'm falling, I can feel the glass that's cut into my skin in various places over my body and yet I feel so fucking badass. I land to the floor in a massive pile of shards, people gasping before a gunshot can be heard again, everyone begins screaming, and I feel numb.

I feel a pair of arms yank me to my feet, an agonising pain shoots out chest, I can hear people talking, or yelling but it's faint, my vision zoning in and out of focus. I realise the hands are pulling me are Yoongi, he's saying something, eyes wide and face solicitous. "Gguk keep your eyes open kid," the voice echoes around the empty cavern of my mind, he's stopped pulling me now, he keeps tapping my cheeks I'm guessing in an attempt to keep me conscious. "Don't close them buddy okay? Stay still, helps coming, alright?" 

"What's happening?" I ask, but there's no reply, it must have just come out as an incoherent blabber, my body is heating up profusely, I need to get out of these clothes. I start wriggling, but Yoongi holds me down, I moan as the sheering agony stutters my breathing. That's when I feel something wet; I lift my hand feebly to see what possibly could be wet on my hand, I just see red. "Oh fuck me," I groan, my head beginning to spin at tormenting rate. I've been fucking shot, Yoongi's fearful expression is the last thing I see before everything just fades, everything becomes dark, and I can no longer feel my body, my heart beat pulverising in my eardrums tremulously. 

 

 

 


 

 

 

"Hyung?" I call turning turning around on the couch to look over at the man sat typing away at his laptop on the kitchen table, his dark hair flopping around in post-bed wisps, he has a soft pout placed on his face as he concentrates hard, I can't stop the smile coming onto my face as I look at the older man. "Hyung!" I sing song but still no reaction, this time it's my turn to pout, he's so absorbed in whatever he is doing he isn't even going to bother replying to me, how rude. 

I turn back to the tv that's playing softly in the background; it's showing a movie they have put on repeat for the past three weeks leading up to Valentines. Honestly, there is more than one romantic movie out there other than The Notebook. I watch, not really getting what's going on because she's yelling at him in the rain about not writing her and now he's saying he wrote her 365 letters, that's a tad obsessive. Oh, now they are making out. I turn back to the man; his eyes concentrated on the laptop, I throw my head back on the couch trying to wriggle myself out of boredom. Oh, now they are having sex, how delightful. 

"Hyung!" I moan, leaning my head over the back of the couch to look at him, he's upside down, and he looks funny, I giggle at it before flipping over to rest my head against my hands. "Hyung, Hyung. Hyung. Hyung!"

"What?" He snaps, his hands smacking onto the table in annoyance and I can only chuckle at his face, his lips pursed and eyes narrow slits. "Have you got nothing better to do than to annoy me?"

"I'm bored hyung," I say getting up and turning the television off, I potter over to him at the table with an innocent grin, he rolls his eyes, I can tell he's getting annoyed by the way his nose flares slightly and his eyelashes flutter as he tries to compose himself. 

"What are you doing?" I inquire, leaning against the back of one of the four kitchen chairs, he looks up at me and those dark eyes latch onto mine, he blinks a couple times before leaning back on his own chair and crossing his arms. 

"I'm currently trying to stop myself from killing you, have you got nothing better to do than annoy me?"

"I'm bored."

"How are you bored? You woke up ten minutes ago?"

"Your point?"

He sighs resting his forehead against his hand, his brown locks falling over his face, "go do something useful, clean the bathroom or something, you made such a mess in there yesterday!" I gasp standing back up properly, "don't even try to deny it, kid, you know you're the only one that could possibly make that much mess by themselves."

"I don't know what you're talking about hyung." 

"Seriously Gguk, go do something else, I'm busy."

"But I want to stay with you, you're just pushing me away." I pout trying to look cute; he stares at me with a look of indifference, I sigh giving up and strolling back over to the couch and plopping down on it. "Hyung I thought you liked me," I tease and he groans loudly in irritation, I stick my tongue out at him. 

"You're such a child, go tidy your room like a normal teenager."

"Urr, no teenager tidies their room hyung, that isn't normal."

"Well, why don't you be the first? Seeing as you like setting records so much." He crosses his arms and raises his eyebrows, "I'm just going to ignore you now, go tidy that room Jeongguk, I didn't allow you to live here just to turn this house into a pig sty." He goes back to typing on his computer, exasperated I dramatically storm away and into my bedroom, it honestly is a mess. 

I wallow through the mess to get to my bed, collapsing on it and looking around in contemplation. There's almost every single item of clothing I own on the floor and on the chair at my desk, some dirty socks and underwear strewn around from me not being bothered to put them in the wash after going to the gym, I have hoarded six different mugs that hyung is continuously asking about, four different ramen pots at various stages of growing mould and I can still kind of smell the burger I had five days ago. I pick a shirt up off the floor; it's hyung's and I grin at it before chucking it on the chair making a couple other dirty items fall to the floor. There is no way I am cleaning any of this up, so instead, I decide sleeping is the best way to cure my boredom, if hyung is going to ignore me then I'll just ignore him back. 

 //

"Jeongguk why is your room still a tip?" Hyung whines, my eyes flutter open to see him stood there, arms crossed and leaning against my door frame with a look of being entirely done with my teenage ass. "There's the cups!" He yells, I wince at the tone, why has he always got to be so loud? My poor half asleep brain can't handle that much noise. I watch as he saunters through the ocean of clothes and picks up the six different mugs and scowls at me before charging back out into the kitchen. I decide to be somewhat helpful and bring out the four different instant ramen pots. 

I chuckle lowly, gazing into one of them, "hey hyung look," I say shoving a completely furry pot under his nose. I snigger as he pushes me away with the most repulsed expression I've ever seen him wear. I don't throw them out, just to add to his current irritation of my presence I put them on the kitchen counter, he lets out a large 'aish' before grabbing them and chucks them into the bin. 

"Why are you so incapable? You better pray you never have to live alone!" 

"Why would I live alone when I could live with you hyung?"

He doesn't reply. Instead, he silently shuffles back to the kitchen table and returns to whatever he's up to on that bloody laptop. I stand there blinking at him for a moment; it's so easy for him to just go back to ignoring my presence. I grab a clean mug and put it onto the coffee machine, "hyung do you want a coffee?" No reply, I roll my eyes, he's fucking deaf I swear, "you know ignoring me is just going to make me annoy you more." I chime grabbing him a mug too, again no reply. 

The beeping of the machine signifies my coffee is done and I place it on the side whilst I make myself busy with his, he hears the beeping of me pressing buttons, "Gguk I don't want one, I don't like coffee," I turn to look at him, his brown eyes wide as he watches the machine gurgle as it begins it's duty. 

"I know, I'm making you a hot chocolate," I say with a smile, he returns it quickly before turning back. I just watch the back of his head, he had a haircut the other day, and it's taking me longer than I thought to get used to it, I liked the long ends, even if I did constantly yeehaw at him whenever he came in. Repeating 'country boy, I love you' every time he walked into the room. Kind of regret it now, he's lost his character a little, but he still looks good. My thoughts are broken by it beeping, and I grab it quickly and hand it over to him, I sit down opposite, and he stares blankly at me. 

"Gguk please go sit somewhere else, I'm not in the mood to talk to you," I frown, why is he so off with me today? I haven't done anything wrong that I am aware of, I mean I went out last night, but he didn't stop me. "Stop thinking so loudly, no I am not mad at you, I just don't feel like dealing with your teenage ass." 

"But you love my ass hyung," I tease, and he flips me off as he takes a large sip from his hot cocoa. I snigger blowing on my coffee before taking a sip too. I sit there quietly as the tapping of keys filtrates through the apartment, hyung's tidied, it almost looks like a show house from a catalogue, except my room obviously lets the image down. "Do you think I will be a good Sasin hyung?" I ask after a while, the silence felt heavy, and I hate heaviness being between us, he looks up at me briefly before continuing to type. 

"Why wouldn't you be?" He quirks after a moment, I shrug, I don't know why I asked it, I guess I doubt myself a little. "I know I've only been training you for a couple months Gguk but you're doing well, for your age you're exceptional." 

"For my age?" I smirk, and again he flips me off, "exceptional in what exactly hyung?" He doesn't reply, now he definitely is ignoring me on purpose, "can I ask you a question hyung?" 

"No."

"Why not? You don't even know what I'm going to ask!"

"Yeah, I don't want to know, please go tidy your room or something, it smells like foot fungus and cheeseburgers."

"It's a new fragrance hyung; it's called cheesy foot and fungus burgers, the new fragrance by Paco Rabanne, I thought you would know that!"

"I'm seriously not in the mood, go be a teenager somewhere else kid, I have important business to do."

"If I go tidy my room will you be nicer to me when I come back?"

"Probably not, depends on if you're planning on going out again." 

Ah hah! Got it, he's angry about me going to that club again. I can't help it if Peaches is the life and soul of the party, plus that Eunha is fucking fit. 

"So you are mad at me!" I say pointing at him, he shakes his head in denial, but I see right through it, "awh you missed me didn't you? It's okay to miss me hyung, I know I'm a lovely treat. Is that why you want me to tidy my room so bad? Because you want to cuddle me, you can just ask hyung I don't mind!"

"Jeongguk." He replies sternly, and I hear the glimmer of anger behind the name, but I ignore it, I just smile brightly at him. 

"Taehyung." I retort in the same voice, I mimic how he's sat, and he breathes in and out heavily. 

"You're such a child; I thought we were over your childish copying what I do phase?" 

"Nope, I'll always copy what you do hyung, you're my inspiration in life!" I sing song, his stare softens slightly, he hums turning back to his work, "I wasn't even lying just then hyung, that's true." I say softly, I make circles around the rim of my cup, he doesn't look up and just continues typing like he always does. I can see through it all though, he's just emotionally constipated. 

"I know Gukkie, now please fuck off." I snort getting up from the table and go over to him, "Jeongguk honestly, I'll chop your balls off if you come any closer."

"Aw hyung, you love my balls!"

"Fuck off, kid."

"Fuck off or fuck you?"

"Jeongguk!"

"Taehyung!" I mimic once more, and he groans rolling his head back and clenching his fists, "okay, okay, I'm going sheesh, I hope whatever pissed in your muesli doesn't do it again."

"You, you pissed in it!"

"I did no such thing! How dare you accuse me of that, I'm filing a lawsuit against you now hyung. That accusation was preposterous!"

"Ooh, small kid using big words!"

"Yeah been hanging out with Namjoon hyung, you proud?"

"Very, now actually fuck off and tidy that room."

"Aye aye captain!" I salute him before skipping away and back into my bedroom; he must think I'm crazy if I am actually going to tidy this room, if I leave it a little longer he'll get fed up and do it for me, and that's so much easier than me slaving away for hours. Rather him get back pain than me so I can give him a massage. I just jump onto my bed again, the mattress bouncing under my weight, now what to do? If hyung's going to ignore me, I'm just going to annoy him as much as possible until he gives me his undying attention. 

I leap off my bed and push all the clothes off of my chair, I sit myself down in front of my computer, he's going to fucking kill me but I just love seeing his face all red and blotchy from anger, it's fucking hilarious. I close the door just enough that it's shut but not enough for the sound to be cancelled out. I can faintly hear him zooming away with the keyboard clicking constantly, and I smirk when I open the tab. This will get him to pay attention to me, if only for a little while. 

The sound of moans blares through my speakers, I sit there with my hands resting behind my head and wait for the angry man to storm into my room. "Jeon-fucking-gguk!" A loud bellow is heard before hard footsteps come storming into my room. I just sit there waiting, my door bursts open and he stands there with a look of pure frustration. "What the fuck are you doing?" He asks loudly over the noise of skin slapping against one another, the moans deep and very, very erotic. "Turn that off what the fuck?" He's storming towards me, and before he can close the tab, I grab his waist and pull him onto my lap. 

"Jeongguk!" He yells angrily, but I just smirk, "why are you so fucking irritating? I swear to God you're the most infuriating human being!" 

"Thanks hyung, such a compliment," I coo, our faces just barely centimetres apart, our noses grazing one another as I look down at his lips. I lean in to close the gap but before I get the chance he's off me and the moans stop. The room goes silent and he's standing there breathing heavily, either he's got a boner or he's really trying to stop himself from yelling at me, I hope it's the first one. 

"No Jeongguk, you don't get to do that." His voice is icily low, so much so that I actually falter slightly, he isn't playing around anymore. "You don't get to kiss me like that." 

"Hyung-"

"No, listen. I told you what we are; you can't do that, it's not allowed, I won't allow it."

"Fine, whatever you say hyung," I try to stop the bluntness, but it's kind of hard to ignore when all you want to do is kiss him. 

"I like you Gguk, but you're just a kid, I'm your mentor, not your boyfriend, you can't kiss me."

"Got it loud and clear hyung. No kissing."

"Gguk don't be like that, you know the dangers, maybe when you're older it can be different, but you're fifteen."

"I'm sixteen this year hyung."

"And I'm eighteen; you're still a child."

"A child that you have no problem fucking when you want to?"

"Jeongguk." 

"No it's fine hyung, I get it, it's just sex, no feeling attached or we will be killed."

"Exactly, I don't want you dead because of me, maybe when you're my age we can try being more than what we are now, but it needs to stay a secret, Boss won't take too kindly of me fooling around with the new kid."

"So you're saying when I'm eighteen we can try for real?"

"Yeah, I guess I am, if you'll stick with me that long."

"Hyung I'm not going anywhere, I meant what I said earlier, you're my inspiration, I want to be like you."

"You're special Gguk, just stop annoying me all the time and we should be okay. Oh and stop going to that club so much, you're going to get bored of it if you go so often."

"But the girls there are so fucking hot! I'm trying to fuck all of them at least once."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear you say that. Women are more than just scores on a leader board Gguk, respect people."

"I do hyung, but as you said, I'm fifteen, I have a boner twenty-three hours a day."

"Do you know what will stop you from getting hard all the time?"

"No, if it doesn't involve your mouth I'm not interested."

"Urgh, why are you so fucking perverted? I was going to say you tidying your room would stop that happening, my lips aren't going anywhere near that thing."

"That ‘thing’ has been up your ass more times than I can count."

"Can't you use your fingers? Did you never learn to count to ten?"

"Oh you know I can use my fingers hyung," I say with a wink, and I can tell he instantly regrets opening his mouth to speak. 

"Just shut the fuck up and tidy this room, don't you even for  a second think I am tidying it for you. Maybe if you clean it well, I'll ride you tonight." Now that's got my attention, "only if it's spotless though," he winks giving me a seductive lip bite before strutting out my room and leaving me in contemplation, fuck he knows how to make my head spin. 

 

 


 

 

My senses are fuzzed, everything is dark, and there's this really fucking annoying beeping that keeps disrupting my sleep. I groan, "turn that off," I don't even know if I said it out loud, I don't think my tongue moved. I suddenly become hyper-aware that I don't know where the hell I am, why is it dark? Blackness, am I dead? Holy shit I better not be dead, I can't be dead, I don't feel like I'm dead. Then I hear it, the distant echo of a voice, I train my mind to follow it, to lead me away from this empty void and my eyes begin to burn with the luminescent beams of white. I squint, feeling my eyelids begin to flutter, the voice calls again, and suddenly I'm able to feel everything, the beeping heavy against my ears. 

"Gguk," I know that voice, "hey kid, come on, open your eyes."

"Hyung?" I croak, my peeping my eyes open to see Yoongi hyung with a wry expression, "where am I?" I turn my head to the side trying to the source of the gaudy beeping that's already driving me insane, whatever it needs to be fucking stopped and quick. I find it pretty quickly, heart monitor. I crease my brow, heart monitor? What the fuck? My eyes latch back onto hyung when I realise he said something, it passed through me without going in, and I blink trying to process everything, what the hell happened? 

"Hospital kid," a foreign voice chimes in, hyung's mouth didn't move, who said that? I see a figure shifting closer, and I see Seokjin hyung, a soft smile present, he isn't wearing his usual attire of a suit, he looks funny without a tie, I mean he's still dressed formally, just a dress shirt and trousers compared to hyung in his hoodie and skinny jeans. "You were shot," shot? What the fuck? Those seem to be the only words my brain knows how to say at the moment, it's strange, I'm actually having to think about what I'm going to say, usually I don't have a head to mouth filter but now I do, there's a blockage and I'd prefer it if it kindly fucked off, that's part of my charm. 

"Lamb skewers?" I mumble, Yoongi starts chuckling clasping hold of my hand, I look down at the gesture, he's shaking slightly. Fuck was it bad? I can't remember a thing, all I remember is Taehyung. Wait, was Taehyung there? Is he here? I instantly shoot up right to the protests of both hyungs as I dart my eyes expectantly to see the man stood somewhere in the bland over the overbearingly white room. Nothing. He isn't here. I scoff, why would I even think he would bother? He doesn't even remember me, but of course, he's the only thing I remember. That's how it always was, I gave everything, and he gave nothing. Maybe that's why he isn't here now. 

"Kid, lie back, you're going to hurt your stitches," Yoongi snaps pressing my chest back down onto the pillows, it only just gathers to be that I'm attached to wires, a great big needle jammed into my vein eliciting probably some sort of pain relief. "Gguk what do you remember?" Hyung asks gently, he's still holding my hand rubbing soft circles into the skin, it's relaxing, a small reminder of how much he cares for me because at the end of the day he is the one person I can trust to always be there, he might be cold and uneasy to look at when angry but he has a heart of gold hidden under that hard exterior, this gesture proves that and I smile. 

"I urm, I killed some people," I say rubbing my eyes roughly with my wrist, I have a protruding headache forming and fuck my life it's bad. Hyung must notice my sudden change in demeanour and Seokjin is quick to run out the door, and I'm guessing to find a doctor. "Jimin called, where is Jimin?" I squeak suddenly feeling incredibly panicked; I can't have lost Jimin, why isn't he here? Did he get hurt? Did Kwan get him? Fuck, not Jimin. 

"Relax kid; he's in the waiting room, only two visitors at a time, he's been worried, hasn't had anyone to train him for the past couple days." He snorts, "been a fucking leech to Brain, everywhere I turn he's there, couldn't fucking wait for you to wake up, so he isn't everywhere I go anymore." Everything Yoongi says is a blur except one thing, couple days, that's how long I've been out? Before I can ask the door is opening again, and Seokjin is returning with a man, he gives a small smile before shifting himself to the end of my bed. 

"Jeongguk, it's great to see you awake," he states, and I can only stare at the man, I hate doctors, I hate hospitals too, nothing against anyone personally, I just dislike being around death, guess that's kind of ironic considering what I do for a living. "I don't know how much you remember Jeongguk, but you were shot in the abdomen, luckily for you, the bullet didn't break inside your body, but you were shot in the liver. We performed a laparoscopic surgery using sutures to close the wound, we did have to transact blood as when you arrived you were bleeding heavily, we put you into an induced coma to let your body heal. Are you following?" I just stare, stare straight past him and off into the unknown, everything is just so confusing. "Mr Jeon, are you following?" He nudges me back into the present, and I just nod. "You're on an IV line currently, you will need to stay in the hospital until we are certain that your wounds are healing well, I'm afraid you will be bedridden for a while and exercise will have to postponed."

"No, absolutely fucking not! I am not staying here!" I protest shaking my head so violently I begin to feel nauseous, I start retching and before I know it there's a basin pushed against my chest as hyung lifts me to throw the contents of my apparently empty stomach. Bile floods my throat burning it uncomfortably, hyung rubs my back for encouragement, and I am so grateful he is here. 

"I'm sorry Jeongguk, but no isn't an answer, your body isn't well enough to leave, with a little time and care you should be able to leave within the next week and a half, as long as you follow our advice." I just glare, I'd rather pull my intestines out of my own arse than stay here for a week and a half, not even being over dramatic about it at all. The doctor begins talking to Seokjin quietly as Yoongi continues to pat my back, my luck is severely lacking. 

He leaves shortly after and we return to the silence as I gulp down a glass of water, it tastes foul from the sick, but my mouth has never felt so dry, it's like I shoved a whole pack of crackers down my throat and then went trekking through the Sahara desert, again not being over dramatic in the slightest. "Gguk it isn't that bad, a week and a half and then you're out."

"I don't get what happened hyung, I was fine, I was winning?"

"Boa came Gguk, Kwan sent him after you, those men you killed her distractions, their plan was to never kill Seokjin hyung, it was to kill you, you're the real threat to them right now." That makes absolutely no fucking sense; they don't even know what I look like, I'm slick, no one knows I'm Sniper. 

"He shot you when you escaped; you jumped out a three-story building Gguk onto the street, he managed to plant a bullet inside you before you landed, you were bleeding out in the middle of the street. Our men managed to capture Boa, we have him, but we thought we'd lost you." 

"But how did he know it was me?"

"Guess most probably, they knew we would be there, Kwan knew you of all people would be there to protect Boss, I think they took a bargain that you would be the one to go after the men finding cover to shoot him. They must have had eyes on you the whole time, Boa won't talk right now, but we are getting there slowly, he thinks he has the upper hand with you being dead when he sees you I reckon he'll crumble."

"Exactly why I can't stay here, you need me."

"No, what we need right now is for you to get better, rest kid and you'll be out before you know it." Boss states calmly, he's smiling at me, he pushes my hair out of my face, "I couldn't forgive myself if you had died kid, I've never been so worried."

A thought suddenly comes into my head, "does Jimin know you're here?" I ask, and he instantly shakes his head, "no, I arrived before he did, I'll leave before he comes in with, he's out there with Namjoon right now. I wish I could stay longer but I have a gang to run, and with my most trusted assassin out of service right now I need to go make sure everything is running perfectly."

"Okay, thank you hyung, for everything." Seokjin nods at me with a tight-lipped smile; he nods to Yoongi before disappearing out of the room. "I'm sorry," I whisper to Yoongi, almost scared that if anyone else hears they'll think I'm weak. His hand tightens around mine again, "sorry you had to see me like that," I feel awfully small, guilty that I made my hyung worried, usually it's the other way round, and I'm shitting myself that hyung isn't going to return one night after going after snakes. I can only imagine what it's like, he had to hold me whilst I bled out, he must have seen the life leave my face, "I hope you can forgive me hyung."

"Kid shut the fuck up; there's nothing to apologise for, yeah you scared the shit out of me, but I knew you'd survive, you're a fighter. I trained you to survive Gguk; I wasn't about to start believing you'd give all that you've worked for up because of a poxy bullet wound." I smile back at him, he ruffles my hair, our eyes gently connecting and at that moment I see everything hyung has ever wanted to express to me, that he loves me and I know he can see I love him back. "You're like a son to me Gguk, I know I can be a little aggressive, and you can be a fucking pain in my ass, but I'm glad you're alive." 

I go to tell him how much he means to me when the door flings open and a wide-eyed blonde haired boy stands there, his eyes are welling up and before I can really process everything he's by my bedside and pulling me into a bone-crushing embrace. I hear Yoongi hiss at him for being too rough, but I don't mind, I hug him back, and I feel warm tears soak into my neck. "Don't ever do that again!" Jimin yelps, pulling away to reveal a red puffy face and hard pout, I feel myself welling up at seeing him so distraught. "I was so scared Gguk, when Yoongi hyung told me you'd been shot I thought the worst, god I haven't slept in days, I hope it's okay that I slept in your bed, the apartment was too quiet without your constant irritating jabbering! Don't ever leave me like that again!" 

I just smile, he's working himself up and I can feel Yoongi gaining a headache just from being in close proximity to the younger boy. "I'm not going anywhere Jimin, I'm a Sasin after all, a bullet to the liver isn't going to stop me." 

"I've been training without you, Hoseok hyung took me with him on a mission, I shot someone, shot them dead. It was a clean cut straight through their chest, I've never seen Hoseok hyung so ecstatic to see a man die." Yoongi snorts, mumbling how he hasn't even seen Hoseok after killing if ecstatic is the only word he can use, maniacal would be the word I would use. "I wanted to do you proud, have something to tell you when you woke up." I smile at that, I grab hold of his hand, and he looks stunned by the show of affection but soon wraps his small fingers around mine, smile contently. 

"I am proud Jimin, if I didn't make it you'd be a great Sasin to take my place." 

"I don't think so; I'm not even a proper Sasin yet Gguk, Boss still hasn't given me the loyalty test."

"It will be soon Jimin," Namjoon chimes in, "Gguk I'm glad to see you're awake buddy, are you in any pain?" His attentive voice brings me out of my daze and I begin searching my body subconsciously for areas of pain, I find one in my abdomen that I didn't feel before and then it really sinks in, I was fucking shot in the liver! Holy shit! 

"Only my abdomen hyung, actually I do have a headache but nothing I can't handle, tell me more about Boa, how did you catch him?" 

"He practically fell to our knees, before you were shot we heard gunshots and ran towards the building, it just happened to be as I about to go in I heard glass smashing and people screaming, and a gunshot again, I knew it had to be you. I stayed with you whilst nearly all our men went into the hideout; Boa was outnumbered and used his last bit of ammo on you the stupid fuck. He's in the nest, fucker won't speak, I've pummelled him so many times, the ugly fucker is swollen everywhere, but still, he won't budge, I'm hoping once you have recovered he'll lose the arrogance and then we'll get what we want."

"What do you want?" 

"Boa is in charge of Kim, well was, Cobra is too but having one of the top snakes is good. Kwan will try and get him back; we'll use Jimin to help lure him in and then BAM! The snake wrapped in the Eagle's claw." Yoongi smirks beyond pleased with his plan, I nod eyes flicking between all three of them as they smile back. I'm glad I didn't die. 

"Hyung can I ask you something?" I ask, Yoongi leans forward, eyes wide, I've purposely put a voice on that makes me sound weak and like I'm seconds after from popping my clogs, he nods as I pull him closer, "when I get out can you get me lamb skewers I never got to finish them." Yoongi shoves me, and I snigger. 

"You evil fucker! I thought you were hurt! Turns out all you want is fucking lamb on a stick!" He squawks waving his hand around in the air, Jimin's trying hard not to giggle along with me knowing that he'll be the next one on the hit list to be yelled at. "I hope you rot in hell one day kid; you are fucking going to be the death of me!" He sulks leaning back on his chair with a small frown, and I just squeeze his hand, that seems to mellow him, but of course, he isn't going to let me see that it actually worked. I smile smugly; I have that power on people.

"Hyung you never did tell me where snakes balls are," I mention and Yoongi instantly groans, he looks around the room probably trying to find something to bang his head on, Namjoon just smiles saying how he's glad to see I haven't lost my ability to drive everyone up the walls, I'm glad of that too, I bring colour into their lives, without me their lives would be boring sacks of shit, even if I do have a hole in my liver I'm still eighteen year old Jeon Jeongguk, Sniper and professional psychological torturer of Min Yoongi. 

Now all I need to do is work on recovering; I want to be out of here as soon as possible because I wasn't lying when I said I'd rather pull my intestines out my arse. Besides what use I am if I'm not out there killing? But hey, at least I'm still getting paid and big bonus I get to sit around whilst everyone does everything for me, you just watch me milk this for the next three months, oh boy it's going to be so much fun getting Jimin to do everything, might even get him to wipe my arse just to see him squirm.  I can't tell if I've become more sadistic or if I've always been like this, well anyway, I'm going to make Park suffer, I'll try and bring Yoongi down with me too, but he's going to be smarter than Mr colourful rainbow chicken, what the fuck did I just call him? I'm never repeating that ever again. I need to sleep. This isn't ending well. 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

 

SEOUL - SEONGNAM-GU // 18 AUGUST // 05.12AM 

I’ve spent longer in this hell hole of a hospital than I ever planned on staying, I assure you I am just days away from jumping out that bloody window if they don’t let me out soon. I understand the severity of my injuries, the liver is nearly all blood vessels, and the tissue just isn’t suturable, the death rate is pretty fucking high and to be honest I should most likely be dead, but here I am, eighteen days later lying in this uncomfortable bed wanting to do anything other than sitting here wallowing in how shit everything is. 

The wound apparently has healed well, I’ll always have a scar where the bullet tore through my skin, but I think scars are pretty fucking cool, Hyung has so many, and I think it just makes him look badass, it shows I survived the almost impossible. 

The only good thing that’s come out of all of this for me far is that I’ve been able to spend so much time with Hyung. He’s pretty much lived here with me these past two weeks; he only leaves if he has a mission but always returns with food. I know he worries about me, I had to have a second blood transfusion the day after I woke up because I tried to escape and tore some of my stitches from the liver wound. Yeah, they put me under close watch after that. 

When I joked about getting Jimin to wipe my arse I didn’t realise someone actually would have to do that; it’s humiliating like I’m not immobile I can wipe my own ass thanks. I have had the most sleep in a long time though, the IV makes me sleepy, but they stopped giving that to me about four nights ago when they said I am stable enough. I’m just hoping they’ll let me out soon because I just want to get back to work, I feel so out the loop, and I hate it. I also want to fucking kill Boa, that dickhead is going to be dead within ten minutes of my return I swear it. 

I’m just lying here, the stitches are itchy, I’ve been yelled at on multiple occasions about scratching them, but no one is here to stop me now if I’m careful enough not to irritate the skin I should be okay and won’t get an infection. ‘Jeongguk stop scratching them do you want to die?’ That’s what Jimin has yelled at me more times than I can count, he’s been so stressed that I almost feel bad, he told me he’s used so many of his bath bombs and face masks trying to calm himself down at night, but it hasn’t worked apparently. I don’t know why he’s fretting so much, I’m perfectly healthy, but I guess that’s just Jimin. He over thinks. 

It has been kind of nice I’ll admit being here; it’s nice in the sense that I don’t have to worry about Kim being mentioned because everyone is more concerned with me and if I am comfortable enough. That’s bliss. Not hearing his name has been perfect, I barely think about him anymore, and I know in a way that’s sad, and if fifteen-year-old Gguk could see me like this, he'd probably throw a tantrum. But the thing is I’ve had time to think, think away from the gang, from having to kill men, in these two weeks I’ve been just Jeon Jeongguk, the eighteen-year-old boy from Busan. Kim isn’t a part of that boy's life anymore if anything he doesn’t know Kim exists, only when he is Sniper is he remembered. I’ve been able to separate myself from my persona or the mask I put on for the gang, I thought Kim was attached to my entire being, but no, he doesn’t have an effect on me anymore. In my eyes he’s forgotten, just a memory and that’s bittersweet, he’s just a face with no control over me. To that I’m so fucking grateful, he’s been my torture for months, and now he’s nothing. 

I lie here in the dark; the sun is starting to lift its head above the horizon, hues of gold and rose will dance in the darkness soon. The air is fresh; this has always been my favourite time of day when it’s darkest before the sun rises. Hyung taught me that, “Gguk don't worry, there’s always tomorrow and the dawn right before the sun rises is the darkest.” He taught me that when I first came to the gang, when I was terrified of doing wrong, Hyung will always stay in my memories for teaching me that, if anything that’s the only part of him I want to stay, his way of words that made me not so scared in a time of hardships. I wonder what he would say if he saw me right now, probably tell me I look like shit. 

My phone vibrates violently on the table beside me; I reach my arm out to grab it. I think the one thing I’ve hated the most is how much of my muscle mass has decreased from not moving that much. Jimin still insists I look ripped as fuck but no I can tell, my biceps aren’t as big, neither are my thighs and don’t even get me started on my six pack that shit is weak as fuck! As soon as I get out of here, I’m living the rest of my life inside that gym. The light of my phone burns my eyes a little; I can’t help but smile when I see the message and my retinas being scorched don’t seem as big of a problem anymore. 

 

JIMIN 
you owe me a new face mask when you get out
i’ve officially run out.
</3 </3 </3 

 

i don’t owe you anything you did that by yourself 

JIMIN 
excuse me?!
this is entirely ur fault!!!!
i’ve
 had stress spots for the past TWO weeks because of you!!
that’s YOUR fault. 

 

yeah sure
it’s my fault you’re obsessed with me

 

JIMIN
alright Regina George calm your ego down 

 

what the fuck is Regina George?

JIMIN
YOU DON'T KNOW WHO REGINA GEORGE IS??????


no..??.

 

JIMIN   
OH MY GOD!!!
where have you been hiding???
do u live under a rock??
Rachel McAdams??
MEAN GIRLS???!!!!!!!!

ARGUABLY THE BEST CHICK FLICK??
EVERYONE KNOWS MEAN GIRLS!!

 

i feel like you should stop talking

 

JIMIN 
the first thing we are doing when you get out of there is to watch Mean Girls
Gguk HOW?!
I feel so ashamed to be your friend 

 friend? 

JIMIN 
don't even start
you've broken my heart once already today. 

you are so fucking gay 

JIMIN
not gay enough to fall for your ass 

 

ouch
that almost hurt my pinky 

JIMIN 

fuck you 

 

hah
thought you said you weren't gay enough for that ;) 

JIMIN 
OH MY GOD JUST FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY
I TAKE IT BACK YOU CAN STAY IN THAT HOSPITAL
I DONT WANT YOU ANYMORE
YOU'RE
 SO ANNOYING
OH MY GOD
I WANT TO GAUGE MY EYES OUT  
AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR ASS

 

awh honey
I love it when you talk dirty to me
keep talking like that n I don’t know what im gonna do to you
wanna see my dick??

JIMIN
this conversation is over 

 

I've never loved annoying someone as much as I do with Jimin, I think it's entertaining because he never ignores it. Hyung continuously just glares whenever I am in a funny mood whereas Jimin will feed it more, his faces are the funniest too. I can just imagine him right now sat in bed with his legs crossed typing away furiously, his hair scruffy and falling over his face, cheeks puffy and voice low, he most definitely screamed at his phone at least once in that conversation. I like Jimin, probably won't ever tell him that I do but he's funny, I'm glad we didn't kill him back then, it would be a waste of a life, a kind life that looks out for me even though I'm the biggest prick to him. 

I chuck my phone on my bed, resting my head against the mountain of pillows, hyung brought me five because I complained about being too low with one, it also means I don't have to keep stretching my stitches when I sit up because I am pretty much sat up already. I gaze out of the blinds, the pinks bursting into the white room, serenity falling over Seoul for only just a moment, I wish I could go out there, I mean I can walk, and I probably will be released within the next couple days, but I want to be out there now. I'd be skateboarding right now, on my way to the nest, listening to the birds chirping and the magnetic lights in the dark blue haze. I need to get out of this hospital quick. 

 

 


 

 

 

SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 20 AUGUST // 13.36PM 

"Easy kid," Yoongi hums hovering his hand around my waist in case I fall, I just glare at him and mumble that I'm not incapable of walking. This is going to be my life, isn't it? The hyungs wavering around me in the small chance that I collapse or something ridiculous that won't happen. "You're not incapable, no, but you are still meant to be on best rest, they only let you loud because you promised you wouldn't overwork yourself, in my books, this is overworking!" I furrow my brow at the smaller man, I've been out of the hospital for thirty minutes, and Yoongi is already irritated by me, ah what a sweet life. 

"I beg to differ hyung, I'm just working out," I say lifting a weight again, he watches warily, he's making me work out topless just so he can see the stitches, I guess he thinks they'll just tear apart and then I'll be bleeding on the floor. I understand his concern, I mean if I saw him bleeding to death on the pavement after jumping out a window and being shot I'd probably be all over him, but they have healed. It's pretty much just a scar at this point but yet he's still here eyeing it carefully as I do my weights. I'm glad to see that I don't have to start from the smallest weights and work myself up, I might look smaller, but my muscles are still able to withhold the same strength I had before. 

"Just no sit-ups alright?" His voice is stern, I roll my eyes, "I'm serious kid, only your arms and legs until it's fully healed!" 

"Hyung it has healed!"

"Not fully kid, stop trying to make it out like you're okay, you had a bullet in one of your organs, you nearly bled to death you don't need to pretend to be okay."

"Hyung I swear I'm not pretending, I feel great, if you don't want me overworking, then I won't but just know that I'm not as fragile as you're making it seem like I am."

 "I know, kid, I'm just worried," Yoongi mumbles his hand is shooting up to his hair, giving his head a small scratch in the awkwardness, I smile softly as he looks anywhere but at me. I often wonder if I picked up hyung's inability to express his feelings properly, we both seem to be unable to say anything slightly opening and vulnerable without wanting to die. He shifts on his feet, his hand rubbing the back of his neck still refusing to look anywhere near me. I put the weights down by my feet, shifting my body to face his, I smile up at him widely as I grab his hand making his gaze flicker onto mine, "what kid?" He mumbles again, and my smile widens tenfold, his smiles back shortly.

"Nothing hyung, I'm just happy to be back," I squeeze his hand tighter just to strain some of his emotional constipation out in the air, he pats my shoulder lightly, muttering ‘a me too kid’, "anyway, when am I going to see Boa?" His hand instantly shoots from mine, his face dark and stern and I just blink back innocently.

"You're not," his tone just as low as his expression, I furrow my brows slightly, opening my mouth to protest, "not yet, not until-"

"Let me guess, until I'm fully healed?" I scoff rolling my eyes hard as I scowl, his whole demeanour changes as he shifts into irritation, "hyung I don't need to use my body, just to talk to him, you know I'm good at interrogation, I didn't spend half a year going with you to not pick any tricks up."

"I know, kid, but we have tried everything, every trick that you can think of I've already attempted, he isn't talking. I don't want you near him until you can look threatening, he thinks you're dead, so he has the high ground as I said-"

"Have you tried waterboarding him?" Yoongi's eyes widen, his mouth dropping open slightly at my suggestion, I take that as a no. "Hyung do it, torture him, he's a snake trained to be silent, punching him isn't going to get jack shit out."

"Jeongguk we can't waterboard him don't be insane."

"I'm not insane, you know we can do it, make him so close to death that he begs us. Hyung if you don't do it I'll get Jimin to help me. Let's show that piece of shit who's boss, take him as close to death as he made me." Yoongi's lips tighten together, eyes narrow and fists clenched, he's thinking about it I can tell, trying to work out if it really could be the only viable solution to the cocky prick. "He almost killed me hyung, let me almost kill him."

Yoongi shifts away from me, taking a few steps back as he bites the inside of his gums, his eyes darting around the room as if trying to find something to help him come to a decision. I just sit there watching as the older starts pacing, hands tight behind his back, black hoodie hanging loosely off his smaller frame. I smirk when his eyes dart to my face for a moment, he turns around to face the door and walks out. To anyone who doesn't know Yoongi, they would think he is annoyed and has run away to calm down, I know different, he left to gather his thoughts.

I continue with my weights, feeling my muscles tense and strengthen, I love that feeling, the sensation of me getting stronger, more powerful than before, more deadly. I move onto legs quickly, sweat trickling off my body as I work myself up into my usual routine, of course missing out anything abdominal just for the sake of Yoongi hyung not having a mental breakdown.

I take my break, looking at myself in the long mirror in front of the treadmill, the scar is large, they said it was a keyhole surgery at first, but when I tore the stitching they had to open up my side, it's about six centimetres long I would estimate just under my right peck. I don't despise it, to me it shows survival but it's still red and ugly looking as it heals over, Jimin offered to put some scar cream on it to make it fade when it's fully healed, but I refused. To be honest, I refuse anything slightly cosmetic that comes from that man; he's obsessed with putting things on his skin I swear.

But I want it there; I want it as a reminder that I didn't die, that I in many ways outsmarted a death that was sure to come, my luck was too high within reality very little damage for what it was, only a few scratches and a couple broken ribs from the shot. I feel stronger too, the weakness that overthrew my body the past two weeks has only made me determined to do everything I want, everything that assures I survive. I will become the best version of Jeon Jeongguk. 

The door clangs opens, and there Yoongi stands in the doorway, he's wearing that familiar grimace of when he's about to beat the shit out of someone, I stare wide-eyed. "Come on, get changed we have a snake to torture," I lick my bottom lip with a smile, Yoongi chuckles pushing me out the door quickly as I stroll past. "Hoseok is with him right now," Yoongi states as we walk through the nest, Boa is being kept in the back rooms, they are heavily guarded 24/7, and literally no one can get through so there's no chance a snake could get in or out to escape.

"Jeongguk? When did you get back?" Jimin asks turning on the chair sat in front of Namjoon's desk, his eyes trace down my chest and to the scar, he pouts slightly, "that looks sore, is it sore?" I just shake my head, helping myself to hyung's coffee machine, I'll need to pump myself up for this. Yoongi stands there whispering lowly to Namjoon, probably informing him about we are going to do, his eyes widening as his head snaps to look at Yoongi.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Namjoon hesitantly asks, Jimin's head turns to look at the two older men, "I get the want to have revenge Gguk but waterboarding? We haven't done that in years, the last time was that drug cartel who went after Kim." His voice is shrill, worry coating his words, Jimin just looks utterly confused which I am quite grateful for, I don't really want him knowing what we are about to do to someone.

"What's waterboarding?" He asks childishly, and no one answers, so he pouts, Namjoon and Yoongi continue talking amongst themselves so he turns back to me. "Gguk what's waterboarding?" He tilts his head resting on his hands, he looks too innocent, and I just continue to slurp my coffee, god I've missed this stuff. I wasn't allowed it in hospital, something about it not mixing well with something they were giving me but now I'm free and can have as much caffeine as I want swimming in my system. "Hello? Don't ignore me, what's waterboarding?" Jimin huffs loudly, both the hyungs stop their conversation to look at the small blonde boy.

"Don't worry your pretty little head over it Jimin," Yoongi bluntly replies, patronising him ever so slightly, so Jimin shuts up and sits back on the chair properly. He's going to sulk now for the next four hours, and I'll have to be the one to deal with it when we go home. I don't really know why I am so cautious to tell Jimin about waterboarding, it isn't like I haven't shown him hundreds of ways to torture a man, but waterboarding is different, it's more a psychological torture just like water dripping, it isn't pleasant at all and I just don't know if Jimin is ready to know that we don't just chop people's ears off as a form of torture.

"Gguk, let's go," Hyung calls walking out of the office, I take my coffee, Jimin glares at me slightly as I leave but I pay no attention to it, he's just sulking because he didn't get what he wanted. I'll make it up to him, buy him a shitty face mask or something.

The walk to the back rooms is silent, just the sound of our shoes marching down the halls, my thoughts echoing in the darkness of my mind, Boa is a dead man walking. I'm going to make sure he never sees another day; I'll be the last face he ever sees, the boy he tried to kill to only have the roles reversed, right now I am a Sasin, Sniper through and through.

Yoongi hyung turns to look at me briefly, giving me a nod before opening the door, I pull my face mask on, I'll only take it off when I know he's close to death, I want him to see me smile as the life is drawn from his eyes, my body is itching to get my hands on his pathetic existence. I feel so powerful when I know a man is going to die, how I am the player of his fate, the one to end a life, to kill a man who chose the wrong life; the sinful life that means he will be terminated by a boy half his age. What a glorious feeling of control.


I stroll through that door, head held high, my eyes instantly latch onto his, the smile he was wearing immediately falls, and I know he's already crumbling. Hoseok stands beside him, he's tied to a slab of metal, tilted acutely, oh if only he knew his fate would end like this. "Times up," I bluntly remark taking a few steps closer to the man. He's fowl, a large, gruff brute in the shape of a man, bald with tattoos decorating his pale skin like a notice board, a giant snake is tattooed to his chest, a Boa Constrictor, oh the irony, he tried to suffocate me to death to only be the one about to choke.


His face furrows as he looks between the three of us in confusion, he's trying to stay calm, trying to play it like his heart hasn't picked up. "How? I killed you," his voice is deep, husked over with years of crime and murder, he tugs at the bondage's' on his arms and feet but that's no use, Hoseok likes to make sure they are extra tight, to the point of circulation being impossible, his fingers already turning a deep shade of purple. His eyes are what anger me the most, if it wasn't for them, his worn out skin, wrinkles and thin lips frowning you would think he could be a pleasant father, but those eyes, they show no remorse, nothing but satisfaction for taking lives away. It angers me because I see myself in him, I see a man I am set to be like in the future, except I won't allow that. I will never be as disgusting as him. Boa is the most repulsive man I've ever heard of being a snake. He and Cobra are both gut-wrenchingly evil, the number of times he's brought children into a life of sex for perverted older men to use, killed families for games, raped and assaulted minors, this man is the epitome of someone who needs to have a bullet in their skull.


"Didn't shoot me hard enough," I retort, going over to Hoseok who's watching me with careful eyes, he knows how angry I can get when dealing with snakes high up the ranks, how infuriating I find their actions, taking childhoods away without even thinking twice. He smiles, a humourless laugh echoing through the darkroom, I freeze at the noise, there's nothing but lust for power in his tone, a force I will never let him feel again.


"You are younger than I thought Sniper, mustn't be older than that pretty boy of yours, Kim? Oh yes, you know him well don't you?" That smiles needs to be wiped from his face quickly, Hoseok slaps it off just as I clench my fists ready to do my own damage. Yoongi steps in front of me in a gesture to fall back, that's probably for the best right now, we agreed he would do the interrogation, but I'll be the one to end him. I turn to the clock, 3.10pm, this is going to be a long afternoon.


I stand watching as Yoongi, and Hoseok hyung get to work with setting the board correctly, they restrict his head from being able to move whilst tilting the slab, so his feet are higher than his head. Waterboarding isn't pleasant, within seconds the victim will begin agreeing to anything you say, suffocation is torturous, I know I would never want to be on the receiving end of an interrogation method like this.


Even the strongest of men will collapse under this method; it's considered one of the most dangerous, it has to be regulated correctly to stop the victim from actually drowning and dying, usually 30-second intervals between drowning him in water and starting up again once we've gained the information needed. He can no longer look me in the eyes; I stand to try to hinder the rush of anger coursing through my veins just at the presence of such a man, hands shaking from the mixture of adrenaline and caffeine in my body, Boa isn't going to last long. 


"Pass the cloth," Yoongi commands, I walk over to the cabinet and grab a thick black cloth, handing it back to hyung instantly. I smirk down at the man struggling against the clasps; there's no escape. I know he knows what he is about to go through, the snakes are not exactly ethical with their torturing, and we have had men lost to them through their excruciating treatment, they like flaying them a lot, sending us bodies that are skinned, fucking sick in the head all of them. "Your time is up Boa, just tell us what we want to hear and we won't kill you."


"Fuck you," he spits and with that Hoseok is coming back over with a bucket of water, it splashes over the side and onto his shoes but he doesn't seem to care, he's far too caught up with the idea of drowning this man until he's crying and begging for us to forgive him. "I'm not telling you shit crow!" He snarls, and Yoongi just smiles down on him, he caresses his face with a gruff chuckle, it's a noise I rarely hear, but when I do it sends shivers down my spine, that's Hyung's laugh of death, he might not be showing it but he's livid and ready to kill a man. 


"Now the thing is Boa, I think you know exactly what we are going to ask and you are going to do the right thing and tell us everything you know, we have details on you, insiders littered throughout your lair, we know all your plans, except one," Yoongi explains standing over Boa as to keep eye contact; I wouldn't want to be looking in those eyes for too long. Hyung's voice is coated in something extremely deadly, his anger is probably on the same level, if not more than mine. He's lost many members of the gang he called friends to this man; he has more reason to hate him than I do. Boa stays silent; he's stopped struggling and is infuriatingly poised and composed. "You know what I am about to ask you, don't you?" His question is met with silence, Yoongi's fingers twitch and I know he's fighting the urge to just slash his throat just to get that smug grin off his face. 


"Why is the kid not doing anything? Too weak?" He jabs, I know he's just trying to get to me. "You know it all makes sense now, Sniper being so young, you crows having us believe he was some old man with years of experience, you sure did pull the wool over our eyes with this." Yoongi and Hoseok stand there, they are beyond used to their victims trying to worm their way out of situations by talking about shit that isn't needed, "makes sense why Kim is so attached." 


I let those words simmer in my mind, attached, bullshit, absolute bullshit. He was never attached to me; I was just a play toy, a kid that was easy to get into bed, a naive child who thought he was in love and they would be together forever. This man took that from me, he ruined what we had and then tried to kill me, I want nothing more than to see him suffer. 


"Kim is such a pretty thing, isn't he? So feisty, full of fire that one," he chuckles and my stomach twists, I don't want to think about how he treated Taehyung. "Attempted to kill me a couple times, but I showed him who was in control." With that Hoseok hits him again, straight in the nose with a brutal crunch, he just laughs even louder, and I want to drown that noise out of my head, the mentality on this man is pure evil, there isn't a single morally correct bone in his body.

 

"Didn't like me saying that did you, Sniper," he can't see me, I'm glad of that, I'm too far away for him to even be able to catch a glimpse of me. "Is that what you want to hear? Kim? Well here you go, he's in love with me, I fuck him raw, and till he cries and begs me to stop, used him whenever I pleased, he's my pet now. My personal whore." 


Something inside me snaps, I go lunging forward holding a knife but Hoseok steps in the way, "no," he speaks lowly, Boa cackles in the background, "he's trying to get to you, he doesn't have Kim anymore, we'll get him." I fall back, the knife clanging to the floor by my feet, my body is physically twitching from anger, he fucking touched Taehyung. He used him like that; he cried for me. 


"Gukkie! Gukkie, please! Stop it! Gukkie!" Boa cackles in the voice are clearly imitating Taehyung, I shut my eyes tight trying to fight of the stinging of tears that threaten to surface, "that's your name isn't it Sniper? Does your Boss know of your little relationship?" I don't reply; I can't respond, my mouth is too dry, my throat clenched up and stopping my breathing. I'm questioning everything I ever thought, Taehyung begs for me to save him and here I am an ignorant coward by turning my back to him, what sort of man does that? 


"Don't listen to him, he's just trying to get under your skin," Yoongi states chillingly before turning back to Boa, his mouth curled into a snarl, he looks rampant, like a wild dog ready to attack. "Let's begin, shut this fucker up." He places the cloth over Boa's mouth, the man's eyes widening in the actualisation of what is about to happen to him, he starts thrashing again but it's no use, there is no way of getting away from it. That brings a smile to my face, seeing him squirm like that, I'll make him pay for what he has done. 


Hoseok begins to pour some water from the bucket onto the man's face, saturating the black cloth covering his nose and mouth and stopping oxygen from getting to his lungs. I watch him heave, trying to get air but nothing happens, he yells out, but the sound of gagging on water gargles in the back of his throat, Yoongi stands over him, hands tight against the cloth with a smile, the man won't last long at all. 


"I'll ask you once more, where the fuck is Kim!" Yoongi yells, Hoseok stops pouring after forty seconds, hyung lifts the cloth, Boa splutters on the water, his lungs already panting to get the unwanted water out of his airways, to no avail. He chokes, but no reply. "Where is Kim?" Yoongi shouts in his face, but the man only laughs. Hyung signals to Hoseok to start again once the cloth is placed back over his airways. 


They continue that process for another six minutes, the man getting closer and closer to death each time, but yet still no sign of cooperating. "Let's bring it up to fifty seconds shall we?" Yoongi grimaces and Hoseok breathily snorts as Boa's eyes widen, "kid I'd get ready to hear some answers soon," Yoongi says glancing at me before Hoseok begins to pour the water over the man again. 


It's not the most pleasant looking interrogation, a man thrashing and spluttering, the sound of his lungs heaving as they try hard to breathe but he is drowning. I'm surprised and somewhat impressed at how long he's withstood the torture; it's rather admirable. Hyung lifts the cloth off, "where is Kim!" He yells in the mans face; Boa chokes, he's red and heavy from being asphyxiated, the irony in that. I walk towards the man, eyes boring into his very being, he truly does repulse me, "who has him?" He just stares at me, his gaze blank, Hoseok pours a little water onto his head, and that seems to crack him much to our pleasure.


"Hannam!" He yells, his voice broken from water, droplets flinging out his mouth disgustingly, he splutters once more, "he's in fucking Hannam!"


"With who?" Hoseok asks tipping a little more, he starts whining and begging, oh it's music to my ears.


"Cobra, fucking stop! He's with Cobra!"


"Does Cobra do the same as you? You fucking perverted piece of shit!" Yoongi snaps and Boa splutters, tears streaming down his face, he's a mess just like he should be.  


"No, Adder stopped us from using him! I swear it; he's only seen as an idol now!" 


"Where about in Hannam is he?"


"You won't be able to get him, he's under surveillance at all times, he's our prize." With that Yoongi places the cloth back over his airways, he yells out begging not to do it, but they don't listen and begin pouring again. "Please!" He gags, the sounds he is making are out of horror movies, the guttural straining of water flooding in and out of his throat; it reminds me of when you slash a mans throat, and they choke on their own blood. "He lives with Adder!" He gasps heaving for breath, "please he lives with Adder!" Yoongi turns to look at Hoseok, his eyes narrow and unsure, he asks why, "he knows you will come after him, he's kept with Adder at all costs, or Cobra, please!"


"Why can't have remember us?" I ask Boa's eyes latch onto mine. Still, I see nothing of remorse behind them, after everything he still has the nerve to smirk and chuckle, he seems to find my question hysterical. His lungs are giving out of him halfway through his laughing fit, and he begins coughing, blood being spit from his mouth as for how broken his throat must be from all the pressure. Serves him right, "what did you do to him?" Hoseok drips a little bit more water onto his face and he yelps in fear at being suffocated again. His eyes fall back to me, the smile gone and replaced with a look of sheer terror, he knows he's going to die soon.


"Amnesia, he doesn't remember a thing before the gang took him. He believes he's just an idol we look after, he's Adders now kid." The smirk reappears when he sees my own face fall into dejection, so he really doesn't remember me? All those years wiped away into nothing, all those times he's told me how excited he is for a future, promised me we would try when I was eighteen, gone, now they only live with me in my thoughts. I push them away; I can't let this get to me again, I am better than that. If Taehyung doesn't remember that isn't his fault, I still want to save him, have him back here in the safety of the people who genuinely care for him, not out there to be used.


"Tell me about Kwan," Hoseok commands, Boa's eyes widen at the name, "yeah, never thought we would know your names did you? Choi." Hoseok's smile could in any other situation light the room up, but not in this one, in this it brings a harrowing darkness to Boa's world. "You see we have someone very special to your Boss's heart; he's one of us now, your precious little boss tells him a lot.  But not everything, I promise that if you tell us about Kwan's plan to overthrow us, we will let you go, we'll let you leave the country, your gang will never have to know you betrayed them, either that or die. What would you prefer?" His smile turns into a tight-lipped grin, and Boa stares up at the red-headed man, he drips some more water onto his face, and I watch him freeze up and whimper at the soft droplets on his forehead. 


"I'll tell you anything! Please just no more!" Hoseok stops, he grins at the both of us. Like I said, even the strongest of men cannot withstand the torture of waterboarding. Even Boa, he's a fool if he thinks we are letting him out this room after today, he'll be sent as a nice little gift to Adder. 


"You have a family don't you Choi?" Yoongi asks standing in the place Hoseok just was, I watch as the younger hyung walks silently over to the cabinet to grab a knife, he winks at me before placing it behind his back. "Tell us everything, and we promise we will leave your family alone, my friend here will know if you're lying. Don't lie, Choi, think of your little girls." Boa desperately tries to loosen the shackles on his arms and feet but only yells out when he can't; it's my turn to step in. 


"Don't you dare touch my fucking daughters!" He spits, the waterboarding is over, for now, both hyungs tilt the board back upwards so we can have a nice look at the dishevelled wreck of a snake. He's panting, extra water falling from his mouth as it comes out from his lungs. His nose is broken, I can see that now. Blood mixes with his saliva as he spits down himself like an incapable child. "Don't go anywhere near them!" He yells again, and I smirk, tilting my head, it's time to take my mask off, he won't be alive much longer. 

Hoseok hands me over the knife, and he watches as I take my mask off, his eyes narrowing in shock at probably how young I actually am. How 'baby faced' I am as Hoseok always says.   "Why should we leave them alone? You've spent your whole life destroying lives of young children, selling them and using them for your own pleasures, you've used one of ours as a toy for yourself. Why shouldn't I do that same?" I smirk as his eyes widen and his face turns grey, thrashing once more and I laugh at how easy it is to get under his skin now. "Jisoo correct? Pretty isn't she?" I walk backwards and forwards never taking my eyes off the man, "around my age as well; perhaps I'll use her as my whore." The yell that emits from his throat would be absolutely terrifying if it wasn't for the weakness of his lungs that send him into a fit of splutters as blood comes out of his mouth. 

"Tell us about Kwan, and I'll leave your daughters alone, you know I could do it, I could go get her right now and fuck her in front of you. Would you like that? As she begs me to stop and she calls out for you to help me, would you like that Choi? Would you fucking like that!" I yell getting right into his face; my fists clenched so tight my fingernails are digging into my palms. 

"Don't you fucking dare touch my daughter." Is all he can manage, Hoseok tips him back, so his feet are in the air, they don't bother with the cloth and just begin drowning him in water for what seems like over a minute as he tries his hardest to stop it from going up his nose and into his mouth. He's drowning now. 

"How does it feel Choi? To be so close to death, to want it to all just be over? Do you regret any of it? Are you thinking of the hundreds of girls you've destroyed? Broken too young? Have you had a nice life of raping innocents? Getting off their cries? You fucking deserve to rot in hell; you're a waste of space, your gang will never be us, you're going to die Choi. You're going to die knowing you have ruined so many lives, but we will destroy more than you ever could, starting with your daughters. As soon as your heart stops beating I am going after them; I will do what you did, just know you did that to them. You are the reason they will die Choi." They tip him back upright again; he's limp, far too gone to even respond. I lean forward, my body only inches apart from his, his eyes drag upwards towards mine, I know he's trying to say something, but I don't let him instead I shove a knife into his chest and twist. 

I feel the warmth of thick blood flow over my hand as I shove the knife in deeper, his eyes never leaving mine as blood begins to flow peacefully down his mouth. I make sure I am smiling, "your daughters are next Choi," I snigger close to his ear, and he makes this pathetic, wheezing noise, I pull the knife back out and step away from the disgusting man. Hoseok hands me a cloth to wipe the blade and my hand, his eyes still looking directly at me, I watch as the life fades, his head falling limp and heavy against his chest. 

 
With a loud thud the hyungs detached him from the bondages, he falls to the floor, blood still steadily flowing out of his newly lifeless body. Yoongi kicks him just to make sure, although it's pretty fucking clear that he is dead. I'm more concerned about how bloody my white t-shirt has gotten, good job I didn't slice his jugular otherwise I'd have a pretty big mess to clean up on myself. "Fucking prick," Hoseok hisses taking the knife from me and begins wiping it clean, I see Yoongi eyeing it, another fights going to occur soon, so I just turn around and leave the two hyungs to it. 


I stroll back down the corridor and into the central area of the nest where I see Jimin sat by himself. At my presence he jumps slightly, looking me over and at my stained top and hands. He quickly goes back to ignoring me though, and I sigh, he's such a big baby. I plod towards him on the couch and strip my shirt off; there's no use trying to get that amount of blood out of it, I'll just burn it later, Jimin doesn't look up and just continues to blatantly ignore my existence whilst picking at his nails. I stand directly in front of him, waiting for him to look up but he doesn't budge, so as any person would do I wipe my index finger along his cheek leaving a red stain behind. He gasps, his own hand going to his cheek and sees the blood, "what the fuck?" He scowls, trying desperately to rub the blood away, "Jeongguk what the actual fuck, go away!" He whines pushing me away with his other hand, he's pouting and looks so adorable that I can't help but coo and squish his cheeks with my palms, he squirms as I get more blood on his face. 

"Argh! Stop! I don't want his blood on my face you psycho!" He squeals trying desperately to remove my hands, but I am just so much stronger, I giggle at him, and he instantly stops moving. Jimin shoots me this look that I haven't seen him wear before and it confuses me, he removes his hands from my wrists, and we just stay there staring at one another, my hands slip off his face leaving red hand prints on each cheek. Somehow it makes his eyes brighter, his lips softer looking and his hair lighter, I look down at him unsure of what this new tension is, I watch as he slowly licks his bottom lip and I squint. What is happening? 

"Gguk- why does Jimin have blood on his face?" Namjoon is the one to snap us out of our daze; I cough shuffling away from him slightly, I didn't realise how close our bodies were. Namjoon just stares at us quizzically, an eyebrow raised, "why are you topless? Was it that messy? I thought you were only waterboarding him." 

"Urr, no hyung, I killed him. We got as much as we were going to get out of him." 

"Really? What did he say?" Jimin asks, eyes wide and mouth ajar, I try not to look at him too long, I have a sudden pang of awkwardness, and I scratch my head as his eyes bore into my body, pull yourself together Jeongguk what the fuck? 

"He told us where Kim is, Hannam-dong," Yoongi interrupts, barging into the room also covered in blood, the deep red contrasting against his pale complexion, Jimin's eyes thankfully shift away from me and onto the older and I feel myself relax releasing a breath I didn't know I was holding. "He said some other things that make me question the safety of Kim, but now we know where he is we can start planning." The blonde boy just nods, eyes flicking back to me as I walk away and into the other office, signalling Namjoon to follow. 

I wait until hyung has closed the door before I speak, "Adder has Taehyung," I whisper, his eyes widen blinking hard as he processes, "Boa and Cobra had been using Taehyung as a whore before Adder came back, he lives with him now." Namjoon places himself in his chair, I stand with my arms crossed hard against my bare chest accidentally pressing down on my stitches and wince internally at the sudden sharp stabbing pain. "He was used hyung, like before," I didn't mean for my voice to sound so pained, but I guess that is an accurate representation to what I feel about the situation, my mind keeps replaying Boa's mimics of Taehyung pleading, I can almost hear his deep voice begging, his tanned skin flushed and stained with tears, fuck. 

"Used? As in-"

"Sex." 

"Shit, is he still?" I shrug, for all I know Adder and Taehyung could be sexually involved, I mean I do understand the attraction towards the older, "why didn't he mention this to Jimin?" Namjoon asks after a moment of silence, again I just shrug, maybe he didn't think it was important, maybe he's trying to keep that hidden from his cousin, or maybe he has told Jimin, and we don't know. Jimin has been allowed to message Kwan away from our supervision, Namjoon regulates the chats every so often, but it isn't a case of complete control over their conversations. "You think he told Jimin?" I look at hyung, he knows that face, "alright, what are you planning to do?"

"I don't know hyung, Taehyung debuts in four days; I think for now we let them do their plan, let them think we have abandoned the thought of him. We concentrate on usual gang activities; I don't really want another big fight with snakes just yet. I'll continue training Jimin, his test will be soon, Boss will want to see him, and I can't afford for him to have doubts about his loyalty." 

"Do you trust Jimin?" I don't know why the question seems so impossible to answer, of course, I do, but I just have this small inkling that maybe, just maybe, Jimin isn't giving us the whole picture. "I trust him Gguk, I've spent so much time with him over the past two weeks of you being away, I've seen how much he's grown to care for you, I don't think that's fake, he's proven time and time again that he isn't on Kwan's side, yes, they are cousins, but I don't think they are truly blood." 

"I think I trust him too hyung, it's probably me just being paranoid but can you regulate his phone more from now on? Just to make sure." Namjoon nods, he obviously understands where my doubt is coming from, I go to turn out the door, "oh and hyung," Namjoon lifts his head as he started busying himself with his computer, his eyes wide as he waits for me to continue, "Tae's memory was wiped, he doesn't remember us, you were right." 

"It doesn't change anything Gguk."

"But it does hyung; everything has changed, I'm no longer anything to him, we are just strangers." 

"I doubt you'll ever be strangers Gguk; we'll get him back." 

"I hope so hyung; I want him back." 

 

 


 

 

"Fuck!" I yell, the patter of feet rushing into my bedroom doorway are quick, he stands there wide-eyed, I just stare back blankly. 

"Why did you curse?" He asks clearly confused by the seemingly unneeded use of profanity, he potters into the room and sits on my bed, his head tilted that same way he does when trying to work out a confusing situation. It's one of the qualities I always find in him that makes me smile, my heart warms and that now familiar flutter of my stomach. "Seriously, you are going to give me a heart attack one day; you can't go around swearing and expect me not to get worried! I thought you'd hurt yourself!" He pouts pointing the finger at me accusingly as I swing back and forth on my chair with a small, simple smile. 

"Awh hyung, you care about me?" I coo teasing him, and he rolls his eyes, he stares at me for a moment like I just asked the most idiotic question and I just stare back. We do that a lot, just stare at one another. Sometimes I feel like we do that more than talking, our eyes seem to do most of it for us like right now I know he's trying to tell me that of course, he cares for me but he's too stubborn to say that out loud, knowing how loaded a statement like that is. "I didn't hurt myself, I just failed my mission," I say pointing to the computer screen, he stares at me unamused before turning to look at the 'MISSION FAILED' in white lettering, he hums blatantly pissed that I gave him a mini cardiac arrest. 

"You need to stop playing that game so much," he states bluntly, I screw my nose up at him, "don't look at me like that, you hardly ever leave this room anymore, I barely see you." He almost sounds hurt, I just to stifle my smirk as he pouts again looking at my incredibly messy bedroom. "You'd think with the amount of time you spend in this room you'd at least clean it once and a while." I snort, what does he think I am? I'm a sixteen-year-old boy; I don't clean. 

"Hyung you can always join me in here if you miss me," I tease once more, unlike the usual 'you wish' or 'fuck off kid' I get a small hum, he shuffles onto my bed and lies back against the pillows, I can't help but gawp at the sudden change in gesture, he never does this. "Are you actually staying?" I ask trying to wrap my head around it; he just furrows his brow looking offended that I would ask such a thing. 

"Yeah... why wouldn't I?" Another heavy loaded question, I want to say 'maybe because you only spend time with me if you're feeling needy or at work', but I refrain and just give a simple shrug. I don't want to talk about it, so I just turn back to my game, pressing replay and starting again. I can feel his gaze on the back of my head, and I am trying my absolute hardest not to falter, I want to beat my high score, and I cannot do that when I know he's watching my every move like it's real life. "You know, you're  pretty shit, kid." I scoff pausing the game to tell him how wrong he is, but I'm just greeted by the widest boxy smile that any acid on my tongue immediately melts away, alongside my heart. That smile truly is the death of me, I try so hard to not let it affect me but it just always has a way of getting through. 

"I'm shit am I? I'd like to see you try," he takes that as a challenge, reaching his hand out to take my controller, I just stare at his hand for a moment, those long honey-kissed fingers that are so perfect, hands I adore when they ghost my skin making me shudder or lovingly card through my hair. It's the small things like that, the truly intimate moments, moments when just for a second I feel like we could be more. A dwindling hope that maybe he likes me as much as I do to him. I know how delusional that is, how naive of a young teenage boy I am, he would never classify me as anything more than something to relieve stress and have some fun with when he's bored. Usually, I am fine with that, I enjoy it really, but when his eyes soften from the dark hoods of lust, I feel powerless. He owns me or at least owns a small piece of my heart, not that I would ever admit that to him, that would be the end of everything. 

"Give it here," he smiles, shaking his hand to signal me to pass it over, so I do. But apparently that isn't good enough for him, he inspects the controller, turning it over and looking at every button with a concentrated pout, I have to avert my eyes because it's too much, he's always too much. "Come here," he says again after a moment, when I don't move he shuffles on the bed and pats it to make room for me, "come on, teach me how to play," there's a playful glint to his low voice, his dark eyes gleaming against the warm afternoon sun, his newly dyed red hair reflecting against the melanin of his complexion. I don't budge, he raises his eyebrows at me, a small smirk and he pats the bed again, "come on, stop being a flustered mess and come over here and teach me otherwise I'll just come to sit on your lap and play." 

"I'm not flustered," I mumble trying to hide my face inside my hoodie, he just giggles slightly calling me cute, "stop calling me that," I whine getting up from the chair and standing beside the bed, he just stares up at me his eyes forming into crescents, that low laugh coming out again and okay, maybe I am a little flustered but I am a sixteen-year-old boy, that is allowed. 

"Why can't I call you what you are? Should I call you baby boy instead?" At that I grab the pillow he was resting his head on and begin whacking him with it, he curls up trying to hide his face as he laughs. "Baby boy!" He coos lifting his head with the widest, most happiest smile and I can't bring myself to smack him again, the pillow just stays held above my head as I look at that beautiful face. "Jeonggukkie, did I break you?" He asks sitting up slightly to poke me in the stomach, I squeal somewhat at the touch and before I can jump away, he's grabbed my arm and pulled me onto the bed. 

I catch myself before I become too embarrassed from land directly on top of him, our faces just inches apart and I have to mentally tell myself to breathe. God I am a mess, I'll admit it, I am weak for this man and I probably always will be even if he leaves, or decides I am not good enough, I know however much I deny it I will always care for him. It isn't love; I wouldn't even be able to tell you what that is, I'm just a kid, I can't be in love, but I see a future with him if that counts for something. I want a future with him. I feel his hands tighten around my waist, his eyes trained on my lips and I nervously wet them out of panic, his breath is hot on my neck and oh crap, this wasn't how it was supposed to go. 

"Hyung," I barely get out, he hums once more, eyes smoothly flickering back to mine, my eyes must be wide because he nuzzles me and he only does that when he says I look like a terrified baby animal. We stay like that for too long; I am so aware of where his body is touching mine that it makes it impossible to concentrate on anything but the warmth filtrating through him and onto me. How his hand tightens around my small waist, how I am propped up on an unsteady elbow looking down at him, his leg between my thighs, fuck. 

His eyes keep darting skillfully between mine and my lips, but he never edges closer, just stares, like he's trying to imagine it without actually making contact. I run my tongue over my teeth beginning to feel a little pissed off by his constant wavering, but I know we shouldn't even be like we are now, if anyone were to see us right at this very moment, a sixteen-year-old boy basically grinding on his eighteen-year-old mentor there would be hands thrown and most definitely shots fired (and not the figurative kind). I become so caught in my thoughts that I don't realise him gradually removing the distance between us, how I only notice the lack of space when his soft lips graze against mine, his long eyelashes fluttering against my cheek, fuck. 

I'm about to press my lips against his when a sturdy and robust hand presses against my chest pushing me up a little. Confused, I break my eye contact with the rose-tinted lips to heaven, I cough realising what I almost did. "Teach me how to play," is all he says as he shifts his body again, removing his leg from between my own, the loss of contact almost has me weeping. I just flip myself over onto my back, directing all my attention to the screen as to not have to look at the older, it's too reticent, unbearably reserved, it's times like these I wish I knew what went through his head. Does he do this on purpose? String me along with the faint desire of more, a fool's paradise. 

"It's easy hyung," I manage to squeak out, I hate how my voice always fails me after moments like that. "That button is shoot, that one you have to hold down to be able to run, and that one is duck," I explain clearing my throat as my index finger ghosts the control buttons to teach him, he just nods going 'uh huh' each time, it's rather endearing, he's the first teenager I've met that seems to have no experience in being just that, a teenager. He told me about how he was taken in at a very young age to be an escort, his body becoming a product to sell, still is sometimes, but never to me, he is more than a beautiful face and a gorgeous body, he'll always be more. 

"If it's so easy why are you so terrible?" He jeers, the smile is back, and I just poke my tongue in the side of my mouth before nodding slowly, "oh Gukkie, you're so easy to torment," he chortles, his hand placing itself on mine for just a moment, it's enough to send fire over my body in waves, pull yourself together Jeongguk, Jesus Christ, you're pathetic. "Anyway, I'm glad this is a game, and you're not actually hurt. I don't know what I'd do if you were injured badly," his voice is small, I glance at him, he looks sad as he picks at the buttons dumbly. 

"I'm not hurt hyung, don't worry about me. As long as you're around I won't be injured; we are too good for that."

"But you'll be sent out on missions by yourself soon Gukkie if you're harmed when I am not there then I won't know what to do."

"Hyung why are you saying this? I'm fine, have some faith, you've trained me well, I'll be difficult to kill, especially with you in my thoughts cheering me on."

"Have you thought of a name for yourself yet?" I just shake my head, I don't mention the sudden change in subject, I know how hard it can be for him to think about me being brought into this dangerous environment at such a tender age, but I truly don't want to do anything else. This is me now; I wouldn't change that. "I've thought of a couple overtraining, but none sound good." 

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"Well my personal favourite is Sniper, but I think I'll stick to calling you baby boy." I slap his thigh, hard and he winces before giggling and throwing his head back at my reaction, I just whine, I hate him calling me that. I'm not the baby here, I've proven that on many occasions. 

"Sniper is good," I say trying to ignore how he's wiping tears away from his eyes at the intensity of his laughing fit; he's such a child I swear it. Sometimes I question if he really is two years older than myself, it seems impossible to decipher a difference in age sometimes between us both. Especially when he's in a mood like this, hyung says it's because he was never really given a chance to be a child, so me being here brings that side out of him. To be honest, I am glad I can make him feel free to express his younger side, but it's rare nowadays, he rarely laughs like this anymore. 

"Yeah, Sniper is good I guess, still prefer ba-" I shove my hand over his mouth to stop him from repeating it, I feel his tongue poke out onto my palm in an attempt for me to remove it, but I just keep it there, until he bites me. "Serves you right, you don't gag me unless I tell you to," my eyes shoot away from him at the thought, and he sniggers, pinching my cheeks playfully as he coos, I try to bat him off, but he's surprisingly strong when he wants to be. "My little Gukkie, my baby boy!" I just shove him away with one mighty push, and he giggles again, I just shake my head exasperated by his refusal to let it go. "Now come on, show me how this game works!" 

 

 


 

 

 

SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 20 AUGUST // 18.59PM

Jimin and I are on our way home; he's casually walking alongside me as I skate, I've missed this feeling. Having the light breeze tousle through my growing dark brown locks, the sensation of flying every time I close my eyes and let my wings soar. He still isn't talking; I don't really know what to do with the situation, we've never had to deal with anything like this yet. Usually, it's me sulking and in a grump. I don't know if he wants me to talk to him or if he wants to continue ignoring me, but I guess him walking with me counts for something? I reach my arms out as to feel like I am truly flying, I close my eyes tight, I see Jimin glare at me and my sudden actions but he, of course, doesn't say anything. I really don't like the silence, I never really have, it makes me over question everything, and I despise that, Jimin right now isn't helping. 

"Tell me about mean girls," I say snapping the tension-filled silence between us, he just continues looking forward, but I see the small lift at the corners of his plump lips. "Who is this Regina person I remind you of?" It's probably obvious that I don't care, but the small smile Jimin gives me seems to show that maybe he's somewhat happy that I am at least attempting to make him feel better, "you're not actually going to make me watch it are you?" 

"I wouldn't want to make you gay," Jimin bluntly replies, his voice low and okay maybe I misread him because he seems pretty pissed. I make a loud groan; he shoots me a look with his jaw sharp and eyes narrowed, Jesus he can look pretty angry when he wants to. Maybe on the same level as Yoongi hyung scary, well you know what they say, it's the soft ones you have to watch, does anyone actually say that? Probably not but they should. Jimin is like a rose, it's pretty, and you want to gaze at it in awe but when you go to touch, the thorns attack, that's him right now. I don't really want to get injured more than I am. 

"Jimin what is wrong? I'm trying to make you feel better, help me out here!" I step off my board; he stops beside me with his arms crossed, there's nothing adorable about how he's looking at me, the usual cute Park Jimin has been replaced with this blonde haired boy I don't know at all, it makes me feel unsure. "Why are you mad at me?" That question makes Jimin scoff, he breathes out heavily with a humourless laugh, what is wrong with him all of a sudden? 

"Why am I mad at you? Are you seriously asking me that right now?" Yes, yes I do believe I am asking that. His light brown eyes have turned heavy in the evening breeze; it's cool for a summer night, people are casually walking past us, some giving small glances probably trying to figure if there's going to be a fight in the middle of Gangnam. When I don't reply and continue just staring at him blankly he shakes his head and starts marching away; I have to jog to catch up, he's fast for those small little legs. 

"Jimin?" I whine after him, I grab his arm to stop him walking, and he yells snapping my hand away, his eyes are blown wide and glassed over with tears, I frown. "Hey, no why are you crying?" I don't move forward knowing that he doesn't want me near him right now, I don't understand what's going on, I'm not used to having people express their emotions so openly like this. I've only ever seen Kim cry, and that was only once after a huge argument, so this is pretty new. 

"I'm crying Jeongguk because you're a dick! You all are!" His face is streaming with tears, I can feel myself wanting to run away and not deal with this, he's trying so hard to not cry, but it's failing. He keeps violently wiping his eyes with his jumper, plump lips quivering. I go to move forward, but he instantly knocks me away. "Don't! I'm hurt right now; I don't want to be around you."

"Why? Please just tell me what I've done wrong so I can change it," I'm pretty much begging, I just want him to smile again, it's heartbreaking to see him cry, especially because I am the reason for these tears. "Please Jimin, just talk to me, I'm sorry." He looks up at me with cheerless eyes, just red and puffy. 

"You all treat me as a child, you forced me into this life and yet you still shut me out. I don't want to be here, Jeongguk, and you all patronise me! I'm not a child, I'm an adult, I was in University doing something I loved and wanted to do for the rest of my life, you pull me away from my friends and turn me against my own cousin, and you still neglect me! This isn't what I want in my life Gguk, and I feel so alone!" 

"Hey come here," I open my arms, and he instantly pushes his body into mine, a loud sob shakes his small but strong frame, and I just hold him tight. My hand is clutching his head against my chest; my heart sinks for him. I've been so caught up in my own selfish life I didn't even comprehend how he could be feeling. "I'm so sorry Jimin; I would never deliberately go out of my way to make you feel like that, I'm just so used to being surrounded by individuals who are so headstrong and independent, I never thought you could be different. I'm sorry." He doesn't reply, just burrows his head further into me, I feel oddly protective over him, I just want him to be happy all the time. 

I stay holding him securely until his sobs turn into small sniffles, he pushes himself away just, and I smile comfortingly down at him. "From now on I'll make sure you never feel lonely okay? I was selfish, and I should have known because I felt exactly like you, just tell me when you're upset okay? Don't ignore me; I want you happy all the time." He sniffles looking away from my soft expression, he's fiddling with the cuffs of his jumper nervously, and I find it cuter than I should, I smile reaching out for his hand, his eyes shoot up to mine as I entwine our hands, he looks shocked. Too shocked and before he can say anything I flick the back of my board up into my grasp and I start walking again, tugging him slightly to move forward. "Your life won't always be like this Jimin, but for now I'll make it as pleasant for you as I possibly can, okay?" I've never heard this tone in my voice before; it's too soft, reminds me of caramel, I'm never like this with anyone, anyone apparently except Jimin. 

At my words a smile graces his face, it's like the sun breaking through the storm and lighting the darkness, banishing the gloom that was placed inside my heart, I smile back squeezing my hand around his as we continue to walk towards home in comfortable silence. "It's about high school, this girl comes from Africa never having been to school before and is thrown into the world of boys, bitches and categorising people into boxes," he beams up at me, and I look down at him with a confused expression, "that's it in it's simplest form, it's very good." I'll take his word for it. 

"It sounds... riveting?" He nudges into me mumbling a shut up at my sarcastic tone, and I smile continuing to walk down the streets with his hand in mine. I see people shoot us disapproving glares, seriously when are people not going to be offended by a human loving another human of the same sex? Every time someone even stares at our hands for more than a couple seconds I just pull Jimin in closer protectively and shoot them the dirtiest look, I'm just holding his fucking hand, I would understand the offence if he was down on his knees sucking me off in public, but he isn't. Ignorant pigs thinking they are better just because they love someone who isn't the same sex, bravo have a medal for being an excellent hetero! Wait, shit; I don't love Jimin, it was just a general expression, I swear. 

"You are still watching it with me, you don't really remind me of Regina by the way, it's just what you said, surely you know who Rachel McAdams is," the name rings a bell but I don't really have all the time in the world to sit down and remember every actor that crosses my path, the only one I need to remember is Robert Downey Jr, Iron Man is my shit. "Notebook? Please tell me you've watched that?" Ah crap, that movie. I just nod, and he sighs in relief, he's far too happy that I've watched it, watched is a loose term, I couldn't tell you the plot other than him yelling at her to tell him what she wants, and he creepily wrote 365 letters to only fuck and probably get hypothermia from all that rain. "It's one of my favourites, so romantic; I want a love like that, wouldn't you?" 

"I don't really believe in love, Jimin," he instantly stops in the street, I try to tug him to keep going, but he seems to be cemented to the ground gawping at me like I just twisted my head completely around and have turned blue. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask feeling suddenly very self-conscious, Jimin's mouth opens and closes in disbelief, and I just blink back, our hands are still entwined, but it's more me just holding it now. 

"How can you not believe in love? Gguk, love is everywhere?" His voice is small, his eyebrows down and head tilted just slightly to the right, he shuffles closer to me. "I know you haven't had the best luck ever, but you must realise love does exist, I see how the hyungs love you, you should have seen them when they rushed to the hospital to be with you, I know I love you in some way that I don't quite understand yet and I know at some point you loved him." I instantly let go of his hand and turn away to continue walking, I wish he would stop bringing him up all the god damn time, I'm trying to forget him, but now there he is, face and body swarming my mind in a hurricane. "Gguk I'm sorry, I didn't mean to I was just trying to make a point!" Jimin pleads waddling after me; I just shake my head, one to stop him fussing and also a subconscious way of trying to bat him away and out of my mind, again. 

"Jimin lets not mention him anymore okay? I don't want to think about him; he's gone, that's it, final." His face grows into one of concern and confusion, mumbling gone? I remember I haven't told him yet, to be honest, I don't think I was ever going to inform him, but I suppose I have to now. I sigh stopping again and turning to face him fully. "Well you know he's in Hannam, turns out he's living with your cousin. Before Adder came back and I'm guessing in those six months prior Kim was being used as Boa and Cobra's whore, he's apparently out of bounds now that he's an idol but his mind was totally wiped of anything before the snakes took him, he believes he's one of them." 

"One of them? Wait, so he doesn't remember you at all?" 

"Apparently so," I sigh turning back to walk, I don't want him to see the sombre expression on my face. "You see Jimin if love was real why would they take him away like that? Not that I love him, but I could see me falling for him, heck I'd never felt like that before, and now he's gone, unrequited love Jimin, it always was even when he was here."

"Maybe you just haven't found the right person, loves everywhere Gguk; it doesn't have to be true love like that, more on a general scale."

"Whatever, I'm over it." I bluntly remark before I start heading back to our home, Jimin sighs clearly not believing it, but thankfully the conversation is left there, I think it over in my head though. I know love does exist, I love people, but I'm not in love with them. It's more conditional love than unconditional, the only person I felt that for was never mine in the first place, and now, like the cherry on top of the shit cake, he's had his memories taken so I'm nothing to him. All those years wasted, my hope shattered, so no, love to me doesn't exist, if it did that would never have happened to me, he would have never happened. 

 

20.26PM

My mood is annoyingly melancholic, I wish he didn't have this effect on my mood, but he does. As soon as we reach home I lock myself in the bathroom to shower; I leave Jimin to it; he's probably just gone straight to his room. I just stand there allowing the boiling water to spit like daggers onto my tanned skin, it's pummelling me uncomfortably from the pressure, but I want it to hurt. Physical hurt is better than mental, I wish I was stronger, I feel like a stupid teenage girl who can't get over the first boy to make her feel special, 'but he loves me', something I repeated to myself every time he left, every time he ignored me, every time he pushed me away. My hard exterior is nothing compared to the broken mess within, one more crack and I am sure I'll crumble. I can't let that happen; I can't let those thoughts win because the gang depends on me, I am their Sniper, a tool to stay in power, Kim Taehyung cannot take that away from me too. 

A faint knock on the door startles me; I don't know how long I've been standing here just allowing the water to submerge my senses. "Jeongguk? Are you okay? You've been in there almost an hour," his voice seems concerned, I want to reply, but my voice doesn't seem to come, "can I come in? I'm worried." Before I can refuse the door is slowly opening, and I see Jimin stood there with his usual expression of apprehension, in that moment where my eyes meet his I feel so vulnerable. "Gguk," he whispers stepping closer, and I feel my knees give in under me, and I fall to the floor, he rushes over, turning the shower off and the silence kills me. I didn't realise I was crying, but I also didn't realise how raw my skin was either until Jimin wraps a towel around my frame. 

He helps me up, a gentle hand steadying my feet, my body dripping with water and I feel myself begin to convulse. "Jeongguk? Hey, calm down, what's wrong?" Oh, how the roles have reversed. Jimin's hands clasp onto my shoulders, he's on his tiptoes trying his hardest to get me to look at him, but my eyes are shut tight, if I open them he'll see I am crying, I don't cry, crying is for the weak, and I am not weak. I am a Sasin. "Jeongguk look at me, we need to get you dry okay?" I just pathetically nod, I feel him wrap me tighter into the towel, gently drying off my skin and I try to stop the sobs threatening to break through my barrier. 

Jimin leads me unhurriedly through the apartment and to my bedroom, delicately pressing me down onto the edge of the bed whilst he toddles over to my closet to find some clothes. He just grabs my usual joggers and a plain t-shirt combination that he's pretty much only seen me wear for the entirety of us knowing one another. He just casually dresses me like it's nothing, before towel drying my hair carefully. I dare not look at him, too embarrassed by him seeing me in such a pathetic state of exposure, mentally and physically. "Stop trying to hide behind these walls Gguk, it's not healthy," Jimin confides, gently combing the wet strands of hair away from my eyes and forehead, I don't look at him, I can't, I honestly can't look at him, not whilst I'm like this. 

"You told me to talk to you when I am upset; you have to do the same Gguk. You can't live a life like this, pretending you're okay when you clearly are not. I don't care if you have this mentality that you're strong and are a Sasin, to me you're just Jeongguk. When we are here, in this house it's nothing to do with the gang, let your walls down Gguk, you'll kill yourself by doing this." Something in his voice just makes me crumble; I subconsciously feel myself melt, everything I have ever built up to protect myself instantly falls with his words. I just burst into tears, my body pulsating with force, I hate this. 

Jimin immediately jumps into my arms, I burrow my face into his neck holding him so tight, my hands bunching his jumper as if I let go my stability will leave. Jimin does the same to me as I did to him not even two hours ago, he just holds me. Hushing my sobs and caressing my head like I am the most precious thing in this world. "What's hurt you so bad Gguk?" The question seems so impossible to answer, how am I supposed to word what's hurt me when I don't really know myself. Only one word springs to mind. 

"Myself," my voice is too weak, even with only two syllables my voice still manages to falter and break, his soft brown eyes hold so much empathy for me. I try to compose myself, I want to justify that answer, "I've spent my entire teenage years and even before thinking nothing bad can happen, I was naive and cocky, I guess not much has changed," I humorlessly laugh, I hate how unstable I sound but Jimin just continues to caress the back of my head. "I don't know; I try hard to put on my mask, I'm a Sasin Jimin, this isn't allowed-"

"Jeongguk you're allowed to have feelings, I don't understand why you're so set on becoming this robot, you're a human and you're allowed to feel. Sasin or not, crying isn't cowardly, and you're not pathetic. That mask you put on is just that, a mask, don't hide behind it Jeongguk, show your true self."

"I can't Jimin, you know I can't. I'm a killer, I murder to a living, fuck I killed someone today! I've killed over a hundred people now, almost thirty since I met you, if not more. Someone like me can't cry, I can't break, I have to have that mask Jimin otherwise I'd be killed."

"Fine, keep your mask. Just at home, here when it's just you and I, you can cry, you can fucking ball your eyes out for all I care, I will never condemn you for hurting."

"I'm not hurt-"

"Stop lying to yourself; you are hurt Jeongguk. You're running around in circles, just accept it and then you can move on, you're just reopening wounds." I hate that he's correct, I hate how transparent I seem to be to him, how he knows everything I am thinking. "I don't know Kim, I only know what you've told me briefly, and I know there is so much more to that story, but you can't keep expecting him to come back, I know we are going to get him but like you said Gguk, his memories are gone. Maybe that's the chance for you to move on, to find the real you and not this young boy trapped by someone who doesn't love you." Those words hurt more out loud than they ever have in my brain, he doesn't love you, he doesn't know you exist.

 "I don't think I can Jimin; he's been everything I've known since I was fifteen, I can't just leave that behind."

"But you need to Gguk, you clinging onto him is only going to make you drown, he isn't good for you anymore." 

"He's going to be everywhere Jimin; not just in my fucking head but all over Seoul, I can't fucking deal with it!" He just holds my shoulders tight, looking directly into my eyes like his life depends on it, "what if Boa was lying, what if he does remember me, he begged for me Jimin, I can't let that go!" 

"Jeongguk listen to me okay? Here's what we are going to do. You're going to continue training me; we will spend hours training alright? Get you back to your manly self, and I will become the Sasin you desire me to be. Taehyung will debut, Kwan will think you no longer care for him, that you've abandoned him as an Eagle. Then, when the time is right, and you're in a healthier state, we can get Kim, I don't know how but we will, I'll help you get him. You have to promise me though, if he doesn't show any signs of knowing who you are you leave it, you move on and forget it, not forget him but learn to let go. What you had is in the past, without him remembering you there is no future for it Gguk. Promise me that because I don't want you hurting yourself over it, you want to see me happy well so do I for you. I count you as family now, Gguk, not as a brother because that would be weird considering you've ground your dick against my ass, but you're special to me." 

The laconic air isn't as deadly as I would have thought if anything I am grateful that Jimin's words are the last he says for now. They swim around the pool in my mind, floating and suffocating all pain that was there before. I can do that; I can learn to let go. "Okay," is all I can stifle through my throat, I want to say more, but the heaviness in my chest is preventing it. Jimin leans back in to embrace me once more; he just nuzzles his head into my neck, I can feel his smile. 

"You do know I respect you more now. I think you're stronger than the Jeongguk that pretends to be this strong and all mighty assassin. I know it's more than crying over a boy for you Gguk and I don't think that's what it truly is, you're just projecting your inner turmoil onto him because you know that's the easiest escape route, blame Kim, and it'll all go away. We can work on that." Fuck, why does he know more about me than I know about myself? It's eerily scary how accurate he is when I come to think of it. Maybe he's like Namjoon and easily able to understand human emotions, or perhaps I am just translucent, I hope it's the first one.

Even after all these tears and after everything he has said I still find myself subconsciously building that wall back up, I can't really let it down, not permanently. I'd be a fool to allow my emotions to control my life, I need to control them, and my way of doing that is by suppressing them. It may not be the most healthy, but it's the only way I know how. Jimin has a point, and I will take what he's said on board, but I can't just go oh yeah, he's completely correct, let me forget about me being an assassin just so I can cry without hating myself for being a pathetic loser. And for the nth amount of times, I push him to the back of my mind; I have to stay strong.

"I do hope in some ways Gguk that he does remember, that they have somehow left him with your memory, it'll be a shame if he doesn't remember someone like you." I don't answer him, I just allow myself to fall back onto my pillows as Jimin plays with my hair, it's oddly nostalgic, a distant memory of a time before and he starts to hum. I shut my eyes tight, trying to hold back the whimpers of his soft voice rippling through my body, I turn my head to suffocate it into my pillows, and he stops. "Gguk? What's wrong?" I hate how worried he is for me all the time; he shouldn't even care for me, I've done nothing but ruin his life and dreams but yet here he is, looking after the weak boy with an unhealthy infatuation. 

"Don't sing," I manage to mumble through the pillows, he chuckles obviously thinking I didn't like it as he shifts on the bed probably a little offended. "You can sing, that isn't why I asked you to stop, it's just it reminds me of..." I trail off, but he seems to understand, nodding quickly to assure me that he isn't hurt by it. I rest my head back down, and I reach out for his hand, he almost immediately reacts practically giving me his palm, I just wrap my own around his smaller one, and I smile into the cushions. "I'm not normally like this."

"I know, you're a big softie really," he teases with the widest smile I've ever seen him make, it sends my heart into overdrive, no man can look at adorable and strangely attractive at the same time. "I wouldn't want you being the major douche bag you act like at work, I'd have slapped you already if you were truly like that." I snort, he has a way of turning my emotions into a complete 180. "Let's make a deal okay?" He shuffles to rest his back against my pillows next to me; he looks down with a soft smile as I narrow my eyes with a hesitant look. 

"What kind of deal?" I ask, scepticism coating my tone and he giggles lightly, I've noticed when he laughs that he bends over slightly, if someone is around he'll cling into them, I think that's my favourite thing Jimin does. Don't tell him I said that. 

"The deal is I'll stop mentioning him if you tell me finally what waterboarding is, oh and you have to watch mean girls. Deal?" 

"What kind of deal is that?" I ask face screwed up, his mentality is strange. "I'll tell you what waterboarding is, but I am not watching mean girls." He pouts instantly, he's trying to look sad but to be honest, he just looks like a slightly unhappy kitten. Again, don't tell him I said that. 

"Fine, tell me what waterboarding is, and I won't mention Kim at all!" It's a tempting deal, a shit deal ultimately but Jimin is about as innocent as it comes so I doubt he would really know what types of deals I have had to make in the past. I just nod, "Namjoon hyung told me it's dangerous, is that how you got all bloody?"

"No, I stabbed him in the chest, prick wasn't giving us any more information, so I just killed him. Waterboarding if done correctly Jimin, won't kill you." He just stares down at me, blinking aimlessly for me to continue, I look at our hands that are still attached, and I rub my thumb against his, I don't fail to miss the subtle smile he makes at the contact.


"It's often called dry drowning, we attached him to a metal slab, his head and limbs unable to move and tipped him, so his head is lower than his feet." Jimin already looks a little uneasy by it, but I continue, this was the deal, "we put a cloth over his mouth and nose and poured water over it for around forty seconds, it gives the sensation of asphyxia and drowning, even the strongest men succumb to this interrogation method. We don't use it often, but I am glad we did."

"That sounds awful!" He blurts out, he shakes his head with the strangest expression, and I can't help but chuckle at him. He's too adorable. "I wish I was there when you killed him; I hate that man." That statement surprises me, "what? I'm a Sasin now Gguk; I'm not fazed by death anymore, especially not his." I smile at him stern expression, he really has come a long way in just a month, I am proud of him, I wonder if this is how Yoongi hyung felt about me when I first joined, if it is then I am glad I was able to make him feel that way, even if for only a while before I became the annoying prick I am today. 

I don't remember falling asleep, but I do remember Jimin's hand combing through my hair before the world went dark, "go to sleep now Gguk," were the last words I heard, the tentativeness in his tone makes me feel so safe. The previous six months alone have been so isolating, but having Jimin here, not even just here by my side but in the house, somehow muffling the silence has saved me. It's made me realise how detached I was becoming and though I may never tell him aloud, I am indebted to him just for allowing me to return to myself, even if only a little. 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 22 AUGUST // 12.01PM

Jimin and I have been inseparable, mainly because he's clung to my side like some insecurely attached koala, but I haven't minded. We woke up at quarter to four this morning to start training, in fact, Jimin was the one to wake me up. He's been over the top eager to just become a Sasin, and I think he's almost ready. He hasn't killed anyone as of yet, but I know it's soon, Boss will want his loyalty soon, especially now with the threat of the snakes biting back after having the lovely present of a dismembered Boa. We were kind enough to send the head to his wife and daughters, sending our regards to all the money he's gained from all those he's raped over the years. The rest of him was just sent to the gang, Kwan told Jimin he was and probably still is furious. Good, I like them angry, it means they don't see clearly enough, and they are just so much easier to take down. 

"Jimin-ssi!" I tease skipping into the kitchen area, Jimin's just sat there eating a punnet of strawberries, "is that all you're having for lunch?" I ask snatching the one from his hand and stuffing it into my mouth; he just nods, unfazed by my swiping and just picks up a plumper one and pops it into his mouth. "That's not very good, let's go out for lunch!" I loudly chime leaning against the counter, he just blankly stares back, I'm in a strange mood, I feel childish, and I need to let some steam off. 

"We can't, Hoseok hyung needs us at the nest remember?" I frown, oh yeah, that. I wanted to go out to eat, "I suppose we can always go after, it probably won't take that long will it?" I shrug, I'm a tad bummed out, but I'll just put it down to my strange mood. "You should probably go put some clothes on; I don't think Yoongi hyung will appreciate you in your boxers." I look down at myself as his eyes trail down my body unfazed, in my defence I just finished working out, Jimin just sniggers as I suddenly become very aware that he can probably see quite a lot, "Gguk I've seen it before, it's nothing special." Ouch, there goes every ounce of my pride, ever.

 

He just bursts into fits of giggles; I can't control the offence spreading over my face, what does he mean nothing special? Now don't get me wrong I am not one of those egotistical pricks that thinks they are the hottest specimen to ever walk the planet, and I definitely pride myself more on just my body, I know I am intelligent and a good human (sometimes), but something about Jimin blatantly not finding me special really irritates me. 

"Nothing special," I repeat through gritted teeth, Jimin topples over with laughter, he's hyperventilating on the kitchen tiles, and I really want to kick his face. Not hard, I don't think I could ever damage something that pretty but enough to shut him up. I'm trying to be offended but he's making it increasingly difficult with his little squeaks and bright smile, he's holding his stomach. Every time he goes to calm himself down, he just looks at me and starts all over again. I roll my eyes at the older boy before storming off to my room to get changed. I slam the door to try and muffle the still very present chuckles; his stomach is going to hurt from all that laughter, I hope it does. I hope he's in pain (I don't really, I like him too much for that). 

 

'Jeongguk can you bring Jimin to my office at four on the dot please.'

'Urr hyung, are you sure?'

'Yes, bring him.'

'Is this what I think it is hyung?'

'I just want to meet him Jeongguk, can you bring him for four.' 

'Do I need to bring anything? Prepare him in any way?'

'That's very kind of you, but no, Jimin won't be needing anything I haven't got already.' 

'Should I tell him?'

'No, just bring him. He can work it out when he arrives.'

'Okay so to the office?'

'Yes Jeongguk, that is where I said.' 

'Okay Boss, I'll see you at four with Park.' 

 

 


 

 

 

"Shit," is about all I can mumble, I knew Boss would want it done soon but today? I was hoping to get a few more days to practice in with Jimin beforehand. Not much I can do about it now, we still have a couple more hours to spare that I could possibly use to weave in some more training. I know Jimin is ready; he's loyal but my definition of loyal maybe different to Bosses. I can only go off on how I passed the test and then I had Kim and Yoongi to help. I don't know if Boss is going to make Jimin do this alone just because he is a potential snake. If he does, then this will be the first time Jimin does anything gang related by himself. I quickly hurry to get dressed, shoving a hoodie on and some jeans, no need to dress up. "Jimin we gotta go," I shout as I stroll out of my room to find Jimin still flayed out on the floor eating strawberries. 

He just looks up at me with a smile, I blink a couple times before going to grab my shoes, "we gotta go," I repeat turning back to look at the blonde boy who's now sat up with his legs crossed and hair ruffled. He looks tiny down there, my shirt swamping his frame, eyes wide and lips tinted red from the juice. "Come on, you can bring your strawberries I guess," he just picks the punnet up and skips over happily, his cheeks are still a little flushed from all the laughing. I just shove him out of the house; he doesn't question it, at this point, he's pretty accustomed to me rounding him up like a lost sheep and herding him into the car and down to the nest. 

When I say Jimin just sat there munching on this apparently never-ending punnet, I mean it, not a peep was heard. He just sat there daintily, staring out at Seoul through the window nibbling on strawberries. I'm usually not a fan of hearing people eat, you know, that obnoxious smacking of saliva as they chew is revolting, but Jimin reminds me of some sort of tiny rodent, the way his small hand holds the stork and his plush lips surround the red fruit, I mean for Christs sakes Jeongguk, he's eating a fucking strawberry! That isn't cute, but somehow Jimin just makes it absolutely one hundred per cent fucking adorable. I try my hardest to ignore it; I open the window to allow the busy streets to engulf my hearing instead of the innocent chews from my right. 

 

13.13PM 

"Finally, I didn't think you were coming!" Hoseok exclaims waltzing out of the back room holding a machete, casual. I see Jimin eye the weapon and shuffle closer to my side; I try not to burst into a cooing mess at that. The red-haired man places the knife on the table, he rests himself on the chair with his feet up and stares at the both of us with testing eyes. "How are the wounds kid?" He asks after a moment; I take my hoodie off, it's far too bloody hot to be walking around in such attire, Jimin has settled himself on a chair four away from the older, his eyes still attached to the glistening knife, Hoseok has probably been obsessively cleaning it again. 

"Good hyung, it's healing well. Hyung has finally started to accept that maybe I am not going to tear in half every time I do a press up." Hoseok snorts at that; his eyes dart to the silent blonde boy before turning back to me with inquisitive eyes.

"How's the living situation? I know Boss wasn't too pleased to hear you took the snake away from the nest." Jimin's eyes latch onto the older, his face unreadable as he watches the man, Hoseok just smiles brightly, I know he's trying to get something out of me, and he just isn't going to get it. "What room is he staying in?" Hoseok asks leaning forward and playing with the blade, the metallic glimmer refracting off the white lights of the nest, the way he handles the weapon is like it's his child and he's soothing it when I don't reply he lifts an eyebrow. "Your room or Kim's?" From my peripheral I see Jimin freeze, I never told him Kim lived with me in that house; I think he just thought it was mine because there was only one bedroom. 

"He's in my old room hyung, I stay in Taehyung's," Jimin's eyes widen as they gawp at me, I just give him a brief look, I don't want to talk about it. Hoseok hums standing up with the blade in hand, he pulls out the cloth and begins wiping it down again, seriously he has some sort of compulsion I swear it. "Doesn't matter now anyway, why did you want us here hyung?"

"I have a task for you, follow," he commands waving the knife for us to follow, I nudge for Jimin to come with me and he jumps up. I put a hand on the smalls of his back to lead him through the nest that he is still getting acquainted with; it isn't just some underground bunker with a couple rooms, it's like a maze really, a labyrinth with different sectors. This is the true nest, we have multiple all over Seoul, but this is the main one, the one where the Boss goes if ever. Hoseok watches with a smirk at where my hand is, waiting until Jimin has passed him to wink at me, I just flip him off and remove my hand from his back. "Just down here," he replies with a snigger, his bright smile fading into a darker grimace when we reach the door in question. "I hope you're not squeamish," he tells Jimin before pulling the door open.

Squeamish is a fucking understatement, I have seen everything you could think of when it comes to murder and death but holy fuck! That's a lot of dead bodies. I stare at the multiple corpses laying lifeless in a bundle on the floor, some still have their eyes open, staring directing into my soul and I feel it being taken. Jimin instantly hides behind me, but Hoseok pulls him out, grabbing his arm and leading him into the room. I cautiously follow, there must be about eight bodies, all snakes, not a single drop of blood or sign of murder, Hoseok is good like that, you die without realising it with him.  

"Hyung?" I ask warily, my eyes looking over at the red-haired man who's smiling down on the bodies like they are prizes, sometimes I question Hoseok's sanity, he must have some issue, like psychopathy or something but I don't feel like labelling someone into a category just because his behaviour is abnormal to the eyes of society. I mean, yeah he kills people but they deserve it, he isn't just going out and killing Tom, Dick or Harry. Although he has killed someone called Harry, some businessman from London if I recall Hoseok tore his jaw off, lovely way to go. 

"Take this," Hoseok shoves the machete into Jimin's hands, it's clear Jimin doesn't want to hold it, he'll have to get over that before the loyalty test, shit I just remembered that's today. "Don't get it too dirty; I spent two hours cleaning that today, Yoongi hyung can't clean for shit!" Here we go again, Hoseok starts rambling on incoherently about how hyung is appalling and never listens to him, I just blank it out. I'm still confused about why we are here precisely. 

"Who are these men hyung?" I ask interrupting his rant; he breathes out heavily comedically trying to catch his breath from the rap like talking he was just spitting. It's impressive really how quick he and hyung can talk sometimes, I get lost, and usually, I question if they are actually speaking words or just some gibberish they have learnt between one another and their daily squabbles. 

"Snakes, sex ring." They are the only words he needs to say for me to understand, these men are rapists, I think that is the one thing I hate the most about snakes. Their lack of respect for the younger generation, they find little girls at school, boys too they don't discriminate, they watch them, track them and then when the time is right they kidnap them and take them in as sex workers. It's vile; we have rescued so many damaged children ranging from four years old to seventeen, these men are not humans. They are monsters, and they deserve everything Hoseok puts them through. 

"What do you want us to do?" Jimin asks, his jaw is tensed, he obviously is having the same feelings towards these men as I am. Kwan never told Jimin about their activities within the gang, nothing more than drugs and light porn, lies. Utter bullshit. Hoseok begins cackling, it even surprises me with this sudden outburst of laughter, Jimin turns to look at me with this face I can only describe as him being utterly concerned for his mental health, in any other situation I might have laughed but Hoseok is starting to worry me a little, just a little because I know he's always been like this. 

"I want you to cut them up and box them to go on a little adventure around Seoul to say hello to the snakes," of course that's what he wants us to do, hence the machete. Jimin looks confused. Actually, it's more a face of unfathomable concern, his mouth opens and closes a couple times at the red-haired man who's now poking one of the dead bodies before shooting a look at me, I just shrug. 

"Wait, let me get this straight, you want us to cut these men up?" A loud 'yuhuh', is his only reply. "Put those parts in boxes and send them to snakes?" 'Uhuh', Hoseok obviously doesn't catch Jimin's inability to understand his thought processes, I just walk forward and grab the knife from Jimin startling him slightly. "W-why? Would you want us to do that? Why cut them up?"

"Well, it's hard to box up whole bodies and sent them, that costs money, money I can't be bothered to spend when I could just cut them up. Besides, it's funner this way." 

"Funner?" Jimin mumbles, he's really having a hard time, I just snigger before lifting the hand of the man Hoseok was poking earlier and slicing it off in one grand move.

"How small do you want them?" I ask and a loud oh my fucking God! Is exclaimed behind me, I decide to ignore Jimin and his mental breakdown about cutting up bodies. Hoseok seems that have the same idea and hums loudly trying to think. 

"Big enough to know what it is, small enough to carry around easily," that's all I need to know. Hoseok wanders away and grabs another machete before carefully handing it to Jimin who is now on the verge of either passing out or actually having a mental breakdown. "Here, best get it done quickly; I don't want to be driving around Seoul at arse-crack O'clock!" With that he strolls out with the broadest smile, Jimin stands there gawping with little mutters rolling out his mouth. I just dice up this man like it's nothing, I mean it is nothing, I've done this plenty of times, it's one of Hoseok's favourite ways of getting the message across to the snakes that they are nothing more than livestock that hasn't been sent to the slaughterhouse yet.

"How are you so calm chopping off limbs?" Jimin exclaims choking on air, I turn to see him stood there looking at the growing pile of body parts from this man, it's a little messy with all the congealed blood and organs, but it isn't hard to clean up. I'm just glad I didn't wear clothes that I actually really like wearing. "Like what the fuck is this?" He asks pointing at the man's calf, I pick it up, and he instantly gags.

"A calf?" I reply waving it around with a smile, I must look fucking psychotic right now, straight out of a horror movie type of shit.

"Don't wave it around! Oh my God! I am surrounded by insane people!" Jimin wails, and I just chuck the limb back into the pile, "you're not about to do what I think you are, Jeongguk!" Jimin squeals as I chop the man’s dick off, he gags again. "Jeongguk what the actual fuck! No don't look so fucking pleased with yourself, that's someone's dick!"

"A dead man's dick Jimin, he doesn't need it." Jimin stares at me with such disgust; he looks like he's trying to work out what he did wrong in his past life to get here. "Hey, it's pretty hard, you could add it to your dildo collection."

"I'm not even going to respond to that, you're fucking weird, and that's so fucking wrong, never say anything like that to me ever again!" I just chuckle before chucking the dick at him, he dodges it just and watches it roll away a little, that's fucking hilarious.

"Stop looking at me like that and come over here and help, this is what a Sasin does Jimin." I move onto the next body; I separated the body parts we will actually send off from the ones we will burn in acid, I like doing that, watching the flesh sizzle away, it's fucking gory but so fucking cool. It's like chemistry class but without the Bunsen burner and a massive basin of acid. "Do those men, if we do four each them we will be done in no time." 

"Why are you so calm? I don't get it, these were people not that long ago, and now you're here acting like they are onions being chopped or something!"

"Jimin, stop over thinking it, you can't think about them being people. Actually just think about how shit human-beings they are. They sell children Jimin, children! For sex! All of them deserve their dicks chopped off and shoved down their oesophagus. Children Jimin, fucking children!" With that I slice the mans head off like it's a fucking melon, I don't care about them at all, I don't care if they were humans with a family, what they did was disgusting, and they deserve what we are doing to them, in fact, I wish they were still alive as I chopped them up. 

"Fine, they hurt children but don't you feel a little weird just cutting them up?" 

"No."

"Urgh, you're so... whatever, what parts should I cut off?"

"Just cut at the joints, hyung will be pissed if you ruin his machete, they are his babies."

"I'm concerned about him, is he okay? Like mentally?" I snort, it's that obvious, is it?

"I don't know, he's a nice guy though, the smile of an angel."

"If you say so."

"I do say so, Hoseok hyung has been good to me, to you. If he didn't like you, you'd probably be like these shits right here." 

"I'll make sure to thank him." 

 

"What the fuck are you two doing?" Yoongi asks coming into the room holding a bag of chips and a coffee, we both look up, we somehow got into a fight, and now there's blood all over our faces. "Actually, I don't want to know. Hoseok is obviously behind this, and everything Hoseok does is fucking insane, so I don't want to know!" We both just stare up at him, his eyes dart across the room before they hand on the penis I threw at Jimin earlier. "Jeongguk why the fuck is there a dick over in the corner."

"It's on time out hyung; it was staring at me," Jimin bursts into laughter as Yoongi dagger eyes me, he can't take a joke? "No, this mans a pervert hyung, so I cut his dick off."

"Naturally," Yoongi sarcastically replies taking a long sip of his coffee as he watches Jimin cut the last mans arm off. "Snake you're not as bad as I thought you'd be, good job." We both catch the patronising tone, my ears ring back to Jimin being upset about us treating him like a kid, and I frown up at hyung. "What now kid?" He huffs sipping his drink again; I look at Jimin who's not looking up and continues to hack away. 

"Hyung don't patronise Jimin; he's going to be one of us soon, don't treat him like a kid. I'm the kid here, not him, he is older than me." He doesn't reply and grumbles under his breath before walking out. 

"Thanks," Jimin whispers with a small smile, I just shrug, but inside I am proud of myself, Jimin deserves better. 

We finish cutting limbs up in no time, in fact, I think it could be a record for least amount of time taken to cut eight bodies up, Guinness world records here we come! Anyway, I leave Jimin to go clean himself up whilst I start boxing different limbs up; it doesn't take that long to just chuck a foot inside a box and seal it, it's pretty easy work that a five-year-old could do. By the time Jimin is out of the shower I've finished, we don't need that many parts; I think there's like 40 odd boxes maybe, some with heads, some have hands and feet, others are little gory with hearts and cocks. Anything really, the rest will either be burned in acid or be thrown into the Han for safe keeping. 

"You did that quick," Jimin says walking back in to find me still covered in now dried blood sat on the floor cleaning the machetes. I know Hoseok is going to clean it, but I have at least attempted to clean it to the state I would leave them in. "We can go out and eat now?" He asks coming in, his hair is a little damp still as he sits down next to me with his legs crossed, I just shake my head, and of course, he does his classic pout. "Why not?" He asks sulking slightly; I just look up from the knife, the blood is starting to make my skin itch, I'll need to go and wash it off asap. 

"Can't, have somewhere to take you soon." I stand up handing him the machete, "go see Namjoon hyung whilst I shower if you see Hoseok hyung say we finished, and they are ready to distribute. I won't be long," he just nods silently before I walk down the hall smiling at men as I walk past, they all give me not amused looks at how dirty I am. Honestly, I must look like an actual character from a horror movie, you know when they have blood covering their whole body, yep that's me. Yoongi hyung always used to tell me off for being so messy when it came to death when I first started training every kill I did was super hard to clean up, much like the brain splat at Jimin's apartment. Kim used to get annoyed with always having to wash blood out of my clothes; he started making me wear only dark clothing so it couldn't be seen as clearly if the stains didn't come out, I think that's why Yoongi hyung only ever seems to wear black. Kim never seemed to get dirty at a killing, after all his name was Ghost. 

 

15.57PM 

"Fuck, hurry up Jimin!" I yell as I clamour out of the car and yank the older's hand, so he begins running, I don't even give him time to take in where we are, and he doesn't seem that bothered, I think he's more preoccupied trying to stop me from popping his shoulder with all the strength I am emitting. We have three minutes, probably two at this point to get to the eighth floor. People watch as I give up trying to pull Jimin along and fireman lift him over my shoulder, people are used to seeing me here, the workers are always pretty unbothered by my random showings up but now as I am full on pelting through the office area with a blonde haired boy over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes, everyone seems to have their interests high. Some people yell telling me to not run and that I'll hurt myself but if I am late Boss will hurt me, not bad, but I'll get a scolding, he prides himself on punctuality. 

"J-jeongguk!" Jimin squeals as I dart around the corner and up the stairs two at a time, I hope Jimin doesn't get motion sick because, boy, is he jumping around. I don't think I have ever run this fast in my life and that's saying something because in high school I was actually on the track team, had the fastest time and everything. Golden maknae they called me, yeah I was a pretty fucking cool teenager. Now I am just called kid, or dickhead, a bit of a downgrade, but hey I am not here to complain. "P-put m-mee down!" He bounces out, I reach the seventh floor and drop him, he tries to catch his breath whilst I wipe my sweat. "Why are you in such a hurr-" he doesn't get to finish the sentence before I am yanking him up the stairs and onto the eighth floor. 

"Afternoon Hani," I smile at the receptionist, she just rolls her eyes, and I look at the clock behind her, holy shit I just ran up eight flights of stairs in a minute and a half, fucking Usain Bolt better watch his ass. I drag Jimin to Seokjin's office, and I quickly make Jimin look more presentable before knocking. 

"Jeongguk," Jimin whispers as we wait for the door to open, "why are we at Seo-," the door opens to reveal a very unimpressed looking Seokjin, I hear Jimin physically gulp as he looks up at the broad-shouldered, designer suit-wearing man, his expression is less than happy but I smile widely. I haven't seen him in a while, he couldn't risk coming to see me at the hospital, and I've only spoken to him on the phone a couple of times. 

"Hyung! How are you on this fine summers day?" A little over the top? I don't think so, well Boss does. His eyes shift from Jimin's to mine, those glasses really do make him look professional, maybe I should get some glasses, Nah, I'd look like a twat. 

"Jeongguk, you're late," he states in a bland tone, before moving out the way to allow us both in, I push Jimin in otherwise he would just stand there like a lost puppy in an unknown neighbourhood. 

"Oh hyung, I'm only a couple seconds late, take it out on Hoseok hyung he had us chopping up bodies!" Seokjin shuffles silently back over to his desk, looking out of the floor to ceiling windows, Jimin snaps at look at me, he's confused as per usual. "I brought him didn't I?" Jimin instantly straightens up as Seokjin's eyes dart back around and take in the small blonde haired boy with narrowed eyes and a hard to read pout on his plump lips. I never noticed that both of them have similarly shaped lips, to be honest, I don't ever look at Boss's lips, not that I look at Jimin's a lot, that isn't what I am saying at all... 

"Yes, you have," his voice is really throwing me off, he doesn't sound angry or annoyed, he just sounds, bored? Like Jimin is very underwhelming for him. "Why are you sweating so much?" He asks pouring himself a glass of whiskey; the room is horribly quiet, I can hear Jimin trying to work out everything as he stands beside me with his arm touching mine as support. Seokjin stands there swirling his beverage with a very blasé expression; it's even making me feel a little wary. 

"I just ran up eight flights of stairs Boss, of course, I am sweating," Jimin's eyes snap onto me at the use of the word Boss. Seokjin smirks at his innocent wide eyes, I look down at Jimin with a smile. "This is our Boss Jimin," his eyes fall back on Seokjin, he's baffled. I think the one emotion to describe Jimin as today would be confusion; poor boy is going to have a headache soon if he continues like this. 

"B-Boss?" He shutters falling behind me slightly, Seokjin again just grins, he loves when people find out who he is, not that it ever happens. Last time someone found out who he was ended up dead within the next five seconds, but I always remember my reaction to finding out, it was just be repeating 'fuck off' hundreds of times before Yoongi slapped me on the back of the head and yelled that Seokjin is, in fact, our Boss and no he will not fuck off. 

"Pleasure to finally meet you Jimin, I trust you understand the severity of your loyalty towards Hwang-geumbich nalgae? Your loyalty towards me and as a Sasin is the only string in which you stand, breaking that string will lead to your death as well as your partner here, do you understand?" Jimin just violently nods, mumbling a 'yes sir', in the most fragile voice, like a little mouse. "I also trust you know what today is?" 

"My loyalty test sir?" Seokjin nods, placing the whiskey glass back onto his desk and straightening his tie, he's so fucking cool. I love Boss, he's such a badass, and he doesn't even try, he just exudes badassery, is that a word? Probably not, but hey that's what he is. 

"As a relation to the leader of Baem Gumeong, I hope you understand why we have to take such precautions if you fail this test you are dead. I have heard of your deceit towards your cousin Jimin, you have shown in training to be a trusted Sasin, but the test will be the only judge." God this is so intense, I feel like I need a bag of popcorn or something, Boss never talks like this, he's speaking like some high up prick that tells the main protagonist in a movie their fate if they fail the mission, I don't know why everything to me today has been about movies, maybe it's because Jimin actually forced me to watch mean girls, by force I mean he sat on me for half of it until I promised I wouldn't leg it as soon as he got off. I will never tell him that I secretly enjoyed it, Kim would be pissing himself if he found out I had watched that. 

"I understand sir," Jimin squeaks, why is he acting so shy for? It's only Seokjin; it isn't like he will chop his head off or something, oh wait. Maybe I don't understand his anxiousness towards the older because I never felt threatened by him, I knew the outcome if I were to not pass and that he would have me dead but I never was afraid of him, he looks like too much of a sweet guy to have such a powerful title. I know Jimin is going to be so full of questions if he makes it out alive today, oh shit, Jimin could actually die today, oh shit wait, so can I! How has it only really just dawned on me that I could literally be killed within the next hour if Jimin cocks this up? Oh boy, this isn't good. 

"What's Jimin's task Boss?" I ask trying to stop myself thinking of the likelihood of me being dead today is, I'd say it's a definite 40/60, I am basing that purely off of Boss  looking a little bored and probably wants something fun to do like killing his men. You know, the usual shit you do when bored. Seokjin turns and starts rustling through one of his drawers looking for a folder, a small 'ah hah' when he finds what he is looking for. I shuffle closer to the table leaving Jimin behind who whines at the lack of me being there to comfort him if needed, seriously he has attachment issues I swear. 

Seokjin opens the folder onto a page; I search through the writing to quickly find what's needed, my eyes zone in on the phrase, 'TOP SECRET: Snakes inside idol industry, get Kim, kill Park.' My eyes shoot back to Boss's, he's giving me that same look of secrecy before he's turning the page. Kill Jimin? Or is Kwan's surname Park? I sure hope it isn't Jimin; it can't be, if Jimin passes today then he is no longer a threat, he is one of us, we can't just dispose of him when we have finished. My mind jumps back to me explaining to Boss why we kept Jimin alive in the first place, 'Kill Adder, get Kim and get rid of him after. Use the snake's venom against them hyung.' I was the one to suggest killing Jimin once we had Taehyung back, I don't want that anymore. If anything it should be kill Kim, save Park. 

"Park, here," Seokjin beckons Jimin over to the desk and slots the folder in front of him. I look down at the page; there's a face just like the one we used to find Jimin, it's a hit list. "I believe you are familiar with this man," Jimin's eyes begin to gloss over as he looks back up from the photo, I don't fail to notice how his hand is almost caressing the image, uh oh. 

"I am sir," he chokes out looking back down, the boy must be his friend or something, why does Boss want him dead? My heart begins to break for Jimin, I know what it is like to have to kill someone close to you, except mine was driven by hatred, Jimin clearly doesn't despise this boy at all. 

"Did you know he was a snake Park?" Jimin shakes his head, "you also didn't know he was an accomplice to the attempted assassination of myself and Jeongguk?" Seokjin's voice is harsh, a single tear falls down Jimin's face, and I want nothing more than to wrap him in my arms and comfort him. "A friend of yours correct?" He just nods, "went to University with you; we found messages between the two of you on your phone, he was messaging you the day Jeongguk took you, correct?" Again, another small nod. 

"But sir, Taemin wouldn't harm me," that doesn't sit well with Boss, I watch as his ears begin to turn red and I know he is going to blow. 

"I never said he would; you are a Sasin now Park. You protect your own, not snakes," he spits, and Jimin visually recoils pressing his fingertips harder into the photo of the boy. He looks kind; he's smiling, I can see why Jimin would be friends with such a boy. "That is your test, kill this snake, and I will let you live. You have 48 hours; he's in Mapo-gu." With that Boss turns away and back out to look at Seoul, a place he owns, I observe Jimin, he's trying so hard not to cry and before I know it I've buried his face into my chest. I rest my chin on his head, comforting him as he silently tries to withhold his tears. 

I watch as Boss turns back to see us, his eyes narrowing once more, I know he isn't pleased, but right now I couldn't care less. "If you want to survive Park you cannot hold such loyalties to those against you if this boy knew you were an Eagle he wouldn't hesitate to have you killed. You must do the same, no tears, just destroy. You can leave now." His voice is too harsh, I try not to scowl at him, I admire Boss, he's everything I would love to be but at time likes this I just see a man driven by the need for power, no sympathy. "Jeongguk stay a moment," he stops me in my tracks before I can leave with Jimin, I nod at the boy with a small smile to tell him I will be out in a moment and he shuts the door quietly. 

We stand there in silence for a while, just taking each other in. I dare not look away from him as he places himself on the edge of his desk with a suspicious glint in his eyes. "Would you like to explain to me the relationship between yourself and Park?" I knew this was coming, the funny thing is I don't even know what to say, so far it hasn't had anything romantic or sexually driven, but there is something there, I know it. Obviously, I can't exactly say that to Seokjin, not when he's already up my arse about Kim. 

"Boss there is nothing, we are just friends." He doesn't seem convinced, "I for some reason feel protective over him, he didn't want this life hyung, neither did I, he's vulnerable."

"If he is vulnerable then why did you not let Yoongi kill him as I asked? Something must have driven you do not want him dead." 

"I didn't want him dead hyung because he hadn't done anything wrong, if we go around killing random people with little connections to the snakes then we are no better than them. Jimin is innocent and was sadly just born into the wrong family line; he has proven time and time again hyung, that he isn't a snake. The relationship between us is purely friendship; I care for him hyung I won't lie to you. Just like I cared for Kim, we promised each other that we would be there for one another. So don't go chopping his head off just because I hugged him." The silence that follows is uncomfortable, Seokjin searing his eyes into my own, his jaw tightening before it softens. 

"If I find out that there is anything more than work partners between the two of you Jeon, you know the consequences."

"I understand hyung; Park will remain just a friend." 

"Wish the same could be said for Kim." My heart stops, I physically feel it stop beating as I watch Seokjin shift in position with a blank expression, how long has he known? I try to play it off like I didn't just die nearly from that statement, I try to make my face look confused, and he chuckles. "I am not a fool Jeongguk; you don't think I noticed the way you two looked at one another? Teenagers are not the best at hiding their feelings, or love bites." I gulp, he isn't happy. "You are just lucky I like you kid, and that Kim is no longer present or remembering who you are." That's a low blow, I can't bring myself to look at him any longer, and I start moving towards the door. 

"Make sure he kills that boy, I want absolute loyalty from him Jeon anything less, and it will have both of you killed." 

 

 

Chapter Text

 

SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 22 AUGUST // 16.31PM

 

"Jimin?" My voice comes out smaller than I would have liked, Jimin seems to be a little dazed, he's just standing there looking out at the skyline. In any other situation I think the skyline would look quite pretty, the sun beginning to dim beneath the wispy clouds, breaking through with its iridescent canopy of rays, but it's gloomy. Jimin is solemn, that's his friend, maybe even more than a friend, I just don't know. I don't want this for Jimin, that's something I know for certain, I don't want him being here, as a Sasin I mean, I want him here but not here. It's painful to watch him stifle back chokes of tears, his bottom lip wavering and he bites down on it, his eyes trained on the skyline, the busy world zooming past without a care, but he's still. I stand a couple paces away from him, unsure on if he wants to be disturbed from whatever battle he is having within his mind, his hands are entwined, he's pressing them together with such force I fear he'll crack his fingers. It isn't hard to see that he's in pain, I brought this onto him, it's my fault he's here.

 

I go to step away when his eyes snap onto me, red and puffy and so very heartbroken. I feel a crack inside me like I can feel his pain and I begin to tear up myself. His face, that gorgeous face is in so much suffering, and I hate it. I want it to stop, for him to not have to do such a thing, for him to always be that happy Park Jimin with the most beautiful smile. Not this. Never this.

 

I can tell he wants to say something but the words don't seem to break past his throat, just a choked sob and before he can burst into tears, he's wrapped inside my embrace. I hold him like the world is about to collapse, that every ounce of pain he is feelings should secrete into my body instead. I'd like that, for me to feel his pain instead. I know this man must be important to him, he wouldn't be hurting this much if he wasn't. Why him of all snakes? Why did Boss choose him? I just don't understand it; it's a loyalty test, not a 'make my Sasins hate me' test. That's what he has done, I admire Boss with everything I hold, but this, this is cruel. I know Jimin is going to be treated poorly, he's related to a Snake, a gang leader, but even for us, this is too far. Right now, I hate him, I hate Seokjin, but mostly I hate myself for being the reason Jimin is here, in pain.

 

Jimin's hands clench around my shirt making it rise, I can feel his warm tears sinking into the fabric, but I don't mind, I'd rather him cry than bottle it up as I do. Jimin is so very strong, possibly the most robust human I know after Yoongi hyung. I admire his ability to express himself. His ability to cry and tell people how he is feeling without perceiving himself as pathetic or weak and without shame is something I wish I could do. To not have walls built around his heart, I wish I could cry like him. To not have a front, a mask, an image to be withheld as a defence mechanism. Jimin to me is all I want to have, but yet here he is, suffering.

 

The air isn't thick between us like it used to be, he's made a cosy little home inside my heart, and I can't bring myself to push him away. Sometimes I think about what we are to one another, friends? No, I find my gaze falters on him a little too long, my attention turning to his lips too often, my heart skipping whenever he giggles, those things mean too much to me to just be friends. But nothing has ever happened, we have never crossed that line, and I don't expect we will. Jimin knows I'm still, even if I don't want to be, caught up with Kim. I don't think that will ever go, but if anyone were to ever stop me from falling for Kim, I think it would be Jimin.

 

"I can't kill him, Gguk," Jimin just barely breathes, if it wasn't for the hollow silence encasing us I wouldn't have heard it over his little sniffles. His hands loosen from the bunches of my shirt and my arms release from his waist as he pushes himself away to look me in the eyes. What I see breaks my heart, it's completely shattered. No one should have to witness what Jimin looks like, the innocence of his soul shining through just like the sun, but the chorus of sorrow diminishes all light from his body, he's grey. "I can't," he repeats, his gaze looking down at the floor and I watch as a tear cascades down his flushed cheek and onto the floor, I swear I can almost hear it drip and splatter onto the hard flooring with how quiet it is. Only the light rumble of the busy city and the faint chatter of workers on the other floors just barely breaking through.

 

"I know," I whisper, I know he can't kill him. I won't let him; I want to do something right by him for once, killing his friend isn't the way forward. Jimin's eyes snap back onto me, his gaze a little intense but it's understandable considering the turmoil in his brain. "I won't let you," I watch as his brow furrows quickly before I pull him into an embrace again, this time my lips against his ear.

 

"We'll find a way out of this, I promise," that's all Jimin needs, he wails, the noise muffled by my chest but he's wrapping himself in my warmth once more. I'm not letting him go; I can't, Jimin is everything to me now, he's truly the only thing I want in this world. Well, one of the things but the other is impossible.

 

The truth is, I don't know what we are going to do, I know this boy will most probably have to die, I mean he attempted to assassinate my Boss and myself in the process but he's Jimin's friend. Right now, I'd do anything to see Jimin smile. I'd protect him with my life; I am only just really coming to terms with all these emotions I am feeling towards the older. I've never been so certain about how I feel; he brings new lights to me that I didn't know were switched off.

 

"H-how?" He's pushing away from me again, except this time there's hope in his eyes if anything it breaks my heart more because how he wishes there's a way out other than death and we both know that isn't really possible. "Can we save him?" I want to shake him and call him naive, tell him that that question is insane and he wishes for death there but his eyes, god those eyes. They look up at me, wide and bloodshot but he's looking like such a hopeful young child, wishing for his dreams to come true and who am I do break that? I don't think I could even if I wanted to.

 

My silence seems to bring Jimin down from his delusion and the way his shoulders sink makes me want to hold him again and cradle his very soul. Pain is so very cruel. His eyes droop, and he's pushing away completely, his back turning, and he's looking out the window once more. I stand there, wishing he was in my arms, but there he is, on the verge of tears once more. Why am I so cruel? Why did I have to bring him into this mess? It was selfish of me really, to keep him alive like this, in a world that's doing nothing but corrupting such a pure heart and turning it slowly into a shattered, longing for something more, heartbroken mess. I am turning him into me, and I don't want that for him.

 

"He's everything to me Gguk, my best friend. The only person who has ever loved me," fuck, I want to tell him that that isn't true, that I-. "I can't kill someone Gguk, not Taemin. Please don't make me kill him!" He sobs loudly; it echoes down the halls and shrills in my ears. He just collapses to the floor, his head sinking into his knees as he holds himself, I just stare, unable to move. I only listen to his shallow cries, and I can't let this happen.

 

I know this is stupid, I'm probably going to have my head blown off, but I don't care. Park Jimin isn't becoming a Sasin; I am not going to be the selfish prick I always am right now, this is for him. This is all for Jimin. My legs carry me further away from him, his sobs becoming distant before I am storming back into his office. He's sat there on the phone, his eyebrow perks at my sudden entrance but I don't feel like knocking. "I'll call you back," is all he says as he maintains eye contact and he's lowering the phone from his ear. Then he hears a sob coming from the hallway and his eyes fall onto the tear stains on my shirt, the small smirk that presents itself on his lips angers me.

 

"Please, do make yourself comfortable as you seem to think you can barge in here like it's your office, would you like some whiskey?" His tone is dangerous, I just close the door, and the cries of Jimin are no longer heard. Seokjin watches me as I stand in the middle of his room, the air-conditioning humming lowly and I gaze out of the window and up at a bird soaring effortlessly, I always wish I was a bird, free. Just free.

 

"Take me instead," I snap, he seems confused, to be honest so am I. I don't really know what I am asking, or stating. But it seems like the right thing, "kill me and let Park go, let him return to his life hyung, he won't tell anyone I know it. Please, just don't let him suffer like this." Seokjin just stares blankly, he's bored, and that infuriates me, how it's so easy for him to dismiss everything I say like he's heard it a thousand times. What really gets me is the small hiccup of laughter that erupts from the man. He leans back on his chair, clearly amused by my outburst.

 

"Oh Jeongguk, when did you become such a hero?" He snorts, his dark hair  elegantly falls onto his brows, and those pristine silver frames to his glasses reflect against the rays emitting into the room in bursts of heat. He straightens his suit, still chuckling lightly to himself and I just stand there, why is he laughing? "I always knew you'd be a firecracker but this, this is a new level of idiocy. You know I cannot do that, you either both die, or neither of you, that's the deal."

 

"A deal Jimin never agreed to."

 

"I believe he did kid; the answer is no. I am not killing you and letting Park go, both of you or neither, your choice." He places his palms on his desk, I want nothing more than to yell at him, but I know that will cause more trouble than it's worth. "Tell him to stop crying; Sasins do not cry-"

 

"He isn't a Sasin."

 

"Oh? So he's a dead man?"

 

"No, he's Park Jimin, 21-year-old, student, and not dangerous." Seokjin smirks, he knows I am using his own words against him but he deals with this all the time, this isn't the first time I've come barging into his office to have an argument, I think he rather enjoys them. "Hyung, Jimin isn't becoming a Sasin, or at least he won't, not unless you let his friend go. I am not letting him do that; the boy is only a snake-"

 

"Only a snake," his tone is far too low, I feel the hairs on my neck stick up from the iciness, I shouldn't have said that. "Who's side are you on Jeongguk? Only a snake? A snake, which plotted to have me killed, a snake that almost killed you and yet he is worth more to you than mine or your own life?"

 

"No, he didn't kill me, or you though did he? That was Boa, who is dead. Please, all I am asking is let Jimin kill someone else, I am not saying we don't kill the man, if he's a snake then we can get rid of him without Jimin knowing but please don't make him do it. He's already had everything he loves taken away."

 

"I am seriously concerned about how attached you are to this snake Jeongguk; I am starting to think you lied to me earlier." Seokjin's eyes narrow, his expression is questioning, and I feel myself subconsciously shift under the hard gaze. I don't want him to see through me; he'll end up actually killing both of us then.

 

"No hyung, I would never lie to you."

 

"Hmm, so if I were to tell you I'd spare Park's life if you kill the snake, would you?" My head begins screaming different answers at me, I stare off into nothing as I try to think of an answer. If I agree Jimin will never forgive me if I don't agree Jimin will die. I honestly don't know which one if worse. "I'll find him someone else to kill to show his loyalty, but I want that snake disposed of Jeongguk, kill him, and I spare your friend."

 

"Spare him as in let him go or as in keep him alive but as a Sasin?"

 

"As a Sasin Jeongguk, you know we cannot let him leave."

 

"Wait, so I kill Taemin you let Jimin live?"

 

"For now, until we get Kim back or he shows his undying loyalty, I doubt that will happen." He leans back on his chair again looking at his fingernails disinterestedly but perks an eyebrow when he sees me look away and turn slightly. "Hard for you isn't it, choosing between Kim and Park. My, my, I never thought you'd be such a problem when it came to men." The grin on his face tells me he is trying to lighten the mood; it didn't work. I just narrow my eyes and stare back at him and his smug expression. "Oh don't get so defensive Jeongguk, I could care less who you have feelings for."

 

"I don't have feelings for them, hyung."

 

"I thought you said you would never lie to me?" He's got me there. "Tell me, kid, what was your relationship with Kim? I promise to not string you alive if I believe my assumptions to be true."

 

"I don't know what to tell you; there was nothing between myself and Kim."

 

"Liar."

 

"I'm not."

 

"I'm not angry about it kid if anything I find it adorable, Kim always did have a soft spot for you even when we first brought you in. Now tell me, is my assumption correct?"

 

"Depends on the assumption."

 

"Intimate?" I don't know why my stomach just flipped, a rush of sensations coarse over my body and the horrific noise of his breathy moans flood my senses. Fuck. I can feel his soft lips against my neck, the burning touch of his fingers against my back, him calling my name. Fuck. I jam my eyes shut in hopes that I can find some escape, but I just see his face, that angelic smile and loud giggle of when he's truly happy. His dark hair is falling over his eyes and soft honey skin bare against my own. Fuck.

 

"A long time ago," I try to say without sounding too distraught by my sudden urges, he shouldn't have this effect on me. I try not to look Seokjin hyung in the eyes; I see him scowling at me, trying to see if I am truthful. I mean it isn't a lie, we were once, a long time ago, seven months is long. "Why are you not angry? I was sleeping with a gang member, that's against the rules."

 

Seokjin snorts at that, his glare turning light and a wide happy smile gracing his face that is usually so very stern. It's a pleasant change, and I welcome it, the tension between us seemingly breaking. "Why would I be mad? It isn't happening anymore, and we cannot change the past, boys will be boys at your age. We'd only have an issue if Kim were to come back and somehow remember you, or if you decide what you have with Park is more than a friendship. That is already too dangerous kid; you know the fate of that boy. Probably best you distance yourself; he'll be gone before Christmas."

 

"Why kill him hyung? If he passes the loyalty test then he's a Sasin, he's valuable." Seokjin doesn't seem to care about what I am saying, that's one thing about Boss, when his mind is made up you can't change it. "He's my friend hyung, he's finally someone I can talk to without it being about work, and he's made me feel like my age like I am more than just Sniper." I don't know why I am telling him this, by the look on his face he doesn't understand it either. I think this is my only way of possibly changing his mind, Boss knows how I have struggled with my identity as a kid, I lost my old self when I joined this gang, he was replaced with who I am now but Jimin is making me realise that the boy I was never really left me.

 

"He dies when Kwan does Jeongguk; you're not changing my mind. You'll have Kim, Park will be no longer be needed," he's trying to end the conversation, he turns to the side and goes back to the drawers to what I am guessing find someone else for Jimin to kill. For some reason his words don't sit well, I've wanted nothing more than for Taehyung to return to us and to me but to replace Jimin with him isn't right. Taehyung isn't Kim anymore, he isn't Ghost, he's an idol with no recollection of us as far as we know, he's been used as a whore, and now I don't know what he is to me anymore. Nothing really, a fond memory, a love lost I guess.

 

"But why? Hyung he isn't dangerous to us, he did nothing but be faithful, and yet you still want him dead? For what reason?" The smile on hyung's face diminishes just as the sun goes behind the clouds and the air conditioning makes the room freezing; I shiver slightly before shifting in my place to try and get away from his gaze.

 

"Don't test me, kid, you're walking on thin ice."

 

"Hyung, Jimin doesn't deserve to die! It doesn't matter if you don't need him, I do!" That came out far too loud, hyung just stares up at me his eyes wide, and jaw clenched before I can even react he's stood up again and storming towards me. I hold my place; he doesn't scare me. He stops directly in front of me, when I first arrived, he towered over me, and now he's only a couple inches taller, he stares directly at me, his breathing light and eyes jagged.

 

"Remember your place Jeongguk; you do as I say, I am your Boss. If I want Park disposed of, then he will but don't push me to make you do it yourself." I scoff, he's threatening me, but I couldn't give two shits right now, his eyes narrow at my laughter, it obviously threw him off slightly. "You work for me Jeongguk; I saved you, don't make me regret my decision."

 

"You call yourself my Boss hyung, but yet you never listen to what I have to say, I really am just a means to an end for you. Do you really even care about any of us? Are we just here to give you power? You see, Jimin has taught me something, he's taught me that I am more than what you have boxed me into, I am more than your slave hyung. If you dispose of Park, you dispose of me because I don't want to be here without him." It's Seokjin's turn to scoff, our faces are just inches apart, and we snarl and try to gain the dominance, both with our postures hard and fists clenched.

 

"What a hero you are, save your damsel in distress hey? I already said I would keep your precious snake alive if you kill that man for me Jeongguk. I've given him a second chance, and here you are accusing me of not caring for you! What do you think I have been doing for the past four years? I gave you a home, a second chance and just because I don't jump for joy at your little friendship you accuse me of treating you as a slave! You agreed to be who you are Jeongguk, don't you dare use that against me!" I have no words to reply to that, hyung is right, and I was just talking in the heat of the moment, I don't really believe I am a slave, hyung treats me well, he's my family.

 

His face seems to soften from the red anger from before when he sees my head tilt towards the floor in shame for speaking to him like that. He places his hand on my shoulder, sighing heavily, "I understand your frustration kid, I do. Park is someone you've grown to care for, but this is a gang, not high school when the time comes he will be terminated." I nod slowly, I know that's the only possible outcome. "We both know Park won't be reliable as a Sasin, he has shown ability, but he isn't you. He's not bred like you, for now, train him. Get him to complete my loyalty test, get him to kill this man and you kill his friend. The main priority is still Kim, get him and then we can decide the future."

 

My mind is a mess; I don't think I could live without Jimin. It's only been a month, but he's changed me so much, I am not the Jeongguk I once was when Kim left. I find myself smiling without reason, seeing the sky in a new light and feeling as if not everyone in this world is out for money or revenge. I don't even think Kim could replace him anymore; I don't think anyone could. But I know I cannot go against Boss, if he insists Jimin has to be killed, then that's what will happen, even if it kills me in the process.

 

"He still only has 48 hours to complete the test, make sure he doesn't cry, I can't stand that noise," with that he's escorting me out of his office with a friendly pat on the back as he hands over the folder with the man Jimin has to kill. It's quiet, Jimin must have calmed himself down. Hopefully, he didn't mind me running off like that; I think he wanted to be alone anyway. Or least I hope he didn't; I don't want to come across like a dick that left him in his time of need. 

 

 //

 

"Jimin-ssi?" 

 

I stroll further down the corridor; he isn't sat where he was when I left. I look around; he isn't anywhere to be seen. Dread starts to fill my gut, please don't say he's done anything stupid, I feel my feet heavily carry me further until I reach the staircase, not there. "Fuck," I mumble under my breath, I shouldn't have left him alone, not in a time like this. I'm so fucking stupid, of course when he's upset he's going to run away, I just hope he hasn't run to the enemy. 

 

"Boy!" A voice snaps me out of my panic, and I turn to see a worker approaching, I gaze at him unsure to why he's calling me. I don't know what level he works on; there isn't any indicator to show that he's anything more than an office worker, with a simplistic suit and gaudy tie. His face looks displeased, a tight frown on his thin pursed lips and I feel like I'm back in high school about to be told off for punctuality or talking back, two things I got scolded for often. When he just stands there not taking the initiative to continue the conversation and instead just starts looking me over like I am something below him I scowl. 

 

"Have you seen a boy come down here?" I ask after a few moments of just glaring, he looks around before coming closer as if he is going to tell me a secret but instead pulls me closer by my shirt with a grin. "What the fuck?" I hiss as he presses his body against mine, his hand firmly pressed against my hips holding me against his sweaty body, no one is around, we are just on the stairwell. I try to push him away, but he's stronger than he looks and in my shock I've gone weak. 

 

"What are you doing here boy?" He breathes against my neck, and I feel my body begin to seize up at the unwanted attention, his breath against my skin is burning but it isn't the good sensation, it's telling me to get the fuck away but I can't because he's pushed me up against the wall. His thigh moving between my legs and pressing against my crotch, I try not to whine at the unwanted pressure on my groin, but he's smirking like he is enjoying every second of me screaming internally.

 

I try to reply, but he's placing wet kisses under my jaw, his hands holding mine above my head, who the fuck does this in an office? "Huh? Answer me, boy," his voice is venomous, more repulsive to me than Boa, my stomach feels nauseous, why am I allowing this? Why is my body failing me and allowing myself to be assaulted like this? Maybe I am just as pathetic as I tell myself, perhaps this is why Kim never said it back because I am just a kid, I am a kid with no understanding of the world I like to think I know. 

 

"Get the fuck off me!" I whine, shifting my body to squirm out of his hold but he's got me in a position where there is no ability to move, his body restrictively close, and I feel hot tears prick the sides of my eyes. He hisses, telling me to watch my profanity before licking the side of my face, I shake my head trying to get the sensation of his tongue away, I don't want that imprinted in my mind, why am I allowing this?

 

That's when one of his hands releases from its hold on my wrists but his other hand seems to have an iron grip as even with all my strength I seem so feeble and small. I hear him beginning to undo his belt, and I close my eyes tight as I feel his hand worm it's way beneath my waistband and into my boxers. "Fuck off!" I choke trying to yell, tears flowing down my cheeks in waves as he begins to touch me, vandalize my skin like it's his property, his grip too tight, I want to scream. I want to scream so loudly, but my voice has been taken, all I can do is whine, like a pathetic little boy. Why am I allowing this to happen? 

 

He flips me, my hands still against the wall as he pushes my chest just as hard into the concrete, his hand violently tugging down my trousers, and I can only sob. Where is my strength? Where is my ability to run? To tell him that he isn't allowed to do this? To tell him he can't abuse me like this? That I am just a boy, that I don't want this? I am a Sasin; I am a killer, and yet I am allowing him to assault me, to think he is stronger and more powerful. What sort of gang member am I? It's all happening too quickly; I'm being used like the whores in Peaches, I'm property. Just a quick fuck. My mind runs into circles as I feel him penetrate me, I hiss yelping out as his hands dig into my hips, slamming his body against mine, my head jolting with every thrust into the wall. Only his heavy breaths filtrate through my ears, my minds blank.

 

This is happening. I am letting this happen. I can't stop him. I can't move. I can't breathe. I can't do anything. I am pathetic.

 

Pound after pound until it no longer feels unbearable, it no longer feels of anything. My mind trapped inside a cacophony of insensibility. His hands are tracing over my skin, caressing my hips and his lips wetly leaving marks against my neck. My vision is blurred. My body feels heavy like as soon as he lets go, I will just fall. Fall to the ground. Fall into hell. No, I'm already there. He's whispering things to me, but I can't hear, I couldn't even begin to comprehend what he's saying. Everything is crumbling. I'm allowing this. I'm fucking allowing this. I could stop this. Why isn't my body listening to me? I need to get away! Get the fuck out of there Jeongguk! Get the fuck out!

 

I can't get out.

 

I can't move. 

 

I can't. 

 

"You know you like it, boy."

 

I don't.

 

I really fucking don't. 

 

Pathetic. 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

"Jeongguk, please concentrate!" He whines exasperated; I just grin continuing to mess around, he watches with his arms crossed as he tries to stifle his own laughter. "Seriously kid, come on!" I just run around in circles again, winking at him and he bursts into the widest smile, that makes me stop. We just stare at one another, I've been feeling it for a while now, something I have never felt before.

 

After a few more moments of just looking at one another deeply, he coughs, clearing his throat and snapping the eye contact away awkwardly. I just smile, I know he felt it too. "What was that, hyung?" I ask teasingly as I follow the older through the outside training courts, he doesn't look back as he grabs his water bottle and takes some before handing it to me silently. Maybe I am being delusional? Maybe he didn't feel anything, and it's just me, after all, he is my training partner, he's making me a Sasin.

 

"That isn’t important Gguk, now are you going to concentrate or be annoying?” Of course, it wasn’t anything, how can it even be something when to him it is nothing? I sigh, that’s stopped me from my funny mood, and now I stand there no longer walking with him, a small frown present on my face. At my sudden stillness, he turns back, his silky hair illuminated by the sun, he looks beautiful. I hate myself for feeling this way about someone I am not supposed to look at as anything more than a brother, he’s in charge of me, my superior but yet, I can only see him as an equal, as someone I want something more with, but as he so graciously said, it’s nothing.

 

“Please don’t start sulking, I can’t deal with a sulking Jeongguk on a Monday night!” He moans loudly, his head tilting back and he stomps his feet slightly, having his own little sulk. I just perk an eyebrow at the older, he does intrigue me. “You’re not going to be a very good Sasin if whenever someone says something you don’t like you have a little paddy!” He points the finger at me, and I can only blankly look at it, trying to convey disinterest in whatever he has to say to me, when in reality, everything he says gets imprinted in my brain, it’s like my very own world that I want nothing more than to soak in and never let go.

 

“Are you even listening to me?” He snaps, waving a hand in front of my face, I just snatch his wrist quickly startling him slightly before wincing at the grip. “Jeongguk!” He whines again, his bottom lip pouting and even now when’s his whole face is scrunched up at my strength he still looks effortlessly ethereal, I just want to kiss him. “Why are you acting like such a brat? What did I say wrong this time? Or is it just your teenage hormones? Have you even finished puberty yet? Have you even started puberty?” He rambles gasping as he takes into account of my age, it’s a stupid question really, but of course, it’s something that would cross his mind.

 

“Do you want me to prove to you that I’ve started puberty, hyung?” I ask with a smirk and his eyes narrow trying to work out what motive I have behind that question. My grip tightens, and he breathes in through his teeth as I drag him closer to my own body, he tries to remove my hold with his free hand but gives up when I go to grab the other.

 

“How are you going to do that? Pop a boner in front of me?” I tilt my head with a smirk, and he grimaces, “ew, no please don’t! I don’t want to see that!” He covers his eyes with his free hand, and I chuckle lightly at the melodramatic tone in his voice. Usually, I would be offended by someone’s repulsion, but I have a feeling he isn’t as against the idea as he’s making out.

 

“Aw hyung come on, you know I have started puberty,” the older looks me over, taking in my whole body and I see his eyes focus on my chest for longer than he should. He subconsciously licks his bottom lip, and I smirk, “and no I won’t pop a boner in front of you, I have more restraint than that, especially when the view isn’t that…” I look him over just like he did to me with a teasing smirk, “dick blowing.”

 

“Dick blowing?” He asks with a hint of confusion and also a sense of offence taken, I just nod acting like I didn’t just make that up on the spot because I couldn’t think of another word that wouldn’t be an absolute lie.

 

“Yeah, you know there’s like mind-blowing, dick blowing, come on hyung you’re only two years older, get down with the kids!”

 

“You are an actual child, me seeing you and your blown dick would be wrong on so many levels.”

 

“But age is just a number.”

 

“And so is the number of years in prison!”

 

“You’re overdramatic, you’re literally not even eighteen yet hyung, that’s not enough to go to prison, you’re a minor too!”

 

“Why are we having this conversation? Concentrate on work and not getting a boner, okay?”

 

“Aye, aye captain!” I salute him, finally letting my grip release his hand, I don’t fail to notice the hand imprint on his honey coloured skin, and I do feel a little bad, but he shouldn’t have said that. “Although are you really that against it hyung?” He looks at me with unblinking eyes flicking between my eyes and lips and I subconsciously lick then as his eyes them.

 

I sense him moving forward, his eyes drawn to my lips and I gulp. Is this really happening? Is he actually about to kiss me? I part my lips in preparation, the latter only centimetres’ away, his warm breath scattering against my skin exhilarating my body forwards to close the gap.

 

My eyes attach to his lips, so plump and silky, fuck. I feel his hand ghost over my bicep, our breath heavy, is this actually happening? Why is it taking so long? In a blink his lips are just narrowly away from mine, all I need to do is close the gap, his eyes are back onto me. I can count every dainty eyelash, those coffee-stained eyes sparkle with something I’ve never seen, he wants it too?

 

My eyes scatter from his to his lips once more, the sweet scent of his breath intoxicates me, everything around us has seemingly slowed down, only him, it’s just him. Fuck. I smile slightly; he’s right there, I can kiss him. He’s still watching me; he wants me to kiss him I know it. I lean my head forward to close the gap, and our lips partially touch before I feel a strong hand pushing my chest. What the fuck? Before I know it he’s pushing himself away with the widest smirk, and I can only scowl in shock, what the actual fuck?

 

“Let's get back to work,” he says without a single ounce of recognition for what he just did, he just smiles biting his lip and swivels to start walking again. I can only stand there in astonishment; he’s fucking cruel. I should be pissed, but I can’t bring myself to be mad at him, I almost kissed him. He wants me too, I know it.

 

 

“Kid, where the fuck have you been?” Yoongi hyung huffs sat at the table counting money with Hoseok hyung sat beside him with his feet up. I smile at him as I stroll into the nest, he narrows his eyes at my smile. “Why are you looking so happy with yourself?” His voice is questioning, mumbling under his fringe with dark eyes, Hoseok quirks an eyebrow before beaming a bright smile and pointing at me.

 

“He’s in love!” He coos and I just stand there, Yoongi turns from him to me with eyes wide, his mouth agape at me not denying it instantly like I usually do when they accuse me of things I didn't do. “Who is it Jeonggukkie? Look at that face hyung!” He bellows with laughter as Yoongi turns pale as a sheet at his announcement. Before I get a chance to answer, he’s walking through the doors, and both the elder's eyes attach onto him instead. He looks at me briefly before sitting down next to Yoongi and tracing his hands over the piles of money.

 

“Jeonggukkie is in love,” my stomach churns as his eyes look back at me with this face I cannot place, anger? Smugness? Confusion? Happiness?  Disgust? He leans back, the chair creaking slightly at the change of weight, he lifts his eyebrows as he looks back at Hoseok with a small ‘oh yeah’, Yoongi is back to counting under his breath as Hoseok smiles widely with a sharp nod. “Just look at that face, he’s in love! Tell me kid, who is it?” All three of their eyes are back on me, I gulp, what the fuck do I say now?

 

I try not to look at him, his eyes boring into my skull as if he’s trying to tell me to fucking man up and say it, I won’t. I can’t. I’m not in ‘love’, I don’t think so, I mean I might be but nothing ever happened, only us nearly kissing today, he feels the same right? “No one, hyung,” Hoseok rolls his eyes, I quickly glance at him, there’s no indication of what he wants me to say, he kind of looks pissed but that might just be his face? I haven’t known him that long, in the vast scale of things I’ve known him not long at all. Why is he affecting me in such a way? I watch him shift in his seat again.

 

“Yeah kid, it can’t be no one, who are you in love with?” Now he’s just trying to make fun of me, Yoongi huffs again, he probably lost count as he angrily picks the pile of money back up again and starts counting again. “Come on, just tell us.”

 

“It’s no one, they don’t like me back, so why does it matter?”

 

“Aw! No! Jeonggukkie! Who wouldn’t love you back?” Hoseok squeals and Yoongi slams his hand down on the table in aggravation, Hoseok mumbles an apology before sniggering slightly when the older looks away again.

 

“Yeah, who wouldn’t love you back?” He says looking up at me with inquisitive eyes; I just stare back, what is he trying to achieve here? I want to reply with ‘you, you fucking don’t’, but then I don’t know if I really believe that. I just shrug before turning and walking through the nest over to Namjoon hyung’s office; I don’t really feel like seeing him anymore today, my mind is a mess, I wish he would just be clear with me and not lie all the god damn time!

   

 

"What's up kid?" Namjoon asks pushing himself away from his pile of work as I slump down on his couch gripping my forehead from a major headache I have been given. I hear him push over a cup of coffee and I gratefully take it, the bittersweet liquid buzzing my insides like heaven in a cup. "Good isn't it? Boss got me a coffee machine," he points behind me to the very out of place shiny black machine with a bold gold logo of a coffee cup, it has about 50 thousand different buttons, and hyung starts going on a tangent about how each button produces a slightly different coffee, some dark and thick, others light and milky. Just give me regular coffee. Although, this cup is delightful. Before he can finish, he's in the doorway with a wide, welcoming smile. "Oh, hello Taehyung-ah," hyung says smiling back as he carelessly strolls over to me. 

 

He stands there a second before taking the coffee from my hand and taking a sip, his face is instantly repulsed, and I giggle, watching his nose curl and pink tongue sticking out. He shoves it back into my hands before surprisingly squeezing himself onto the couch next to me. Our bodies on top of one another' and his sweet cologne euphorically overtaking all my senses, I could smell that all day long and never get tired. "Jeonggukie's in love hyung," he teases scooping his arm over my shoulders and fondly begins fiddling with my earlobe and earrings, it's something he does often, but whenever he does, it sends my heart into a frenzy. He doesn't do it to anyone else, only me and to me, that's enough confirmation that there is something. I can't be delusional right? My mind is too busy thinking that over to hear Namjoon hyung smirk and ask who. 

 

"Kid, are you listening? Ah look he's off in a dream world. I bet he's thinking of whoever it is," Namjoon teases, and I feel his grip on my ear lighten before his long fingers are entangled in my hair. He's humming lightly; he's clearly pleased with all this unknown attention the others are giving him, I'm not going to give him anything though, don't want to feed his ego too much. "Please tell me it isn't some escort from Peaches," my eyes widen and look back over to hyung, I feel his hold on my hair stiffen at the mention of another. 

 

"Eunha?" He didn't like that, and I wince at him yanking my hair slightly, I try not to smirk. Oooh, Kim Taehyung is jealous, now I know I'll get a reaction lets see how far I can take this. "Ah hyung, Eunha is so good to me." Namjoon smirks and I glance at him for a brief moment and catch him sticking his tongue into the side of his mouth, his eyes wandering upwards and posture stiffening. He really is jealous, I am not delusional then? He really does feel the same? "

 

She's so kind hyung; we hang out a lot when I go there, sometimes she sucks my dick, some days she doesn't, depends on the mood." Hyung's face scrunches up at the unneeded commentary on our sexual activities, but I only said it to see how he would react and as expected he just stares at me as I pretend not to notice his eyes drilling holes into my skull. His hand has stopped playing with my hair and is instead back to playing with my earlobe, I recently had a third piercing put in, and he's fiddling with it intently. 

 

"So you're in love with her?" Namjoon asks after a hot minute, both myself and him freeze, I don't know why it shocked me so much for hyung to say that. I don't think I could ever love Eunha; our relationship is purely just for sexual pleasure. I find my head turning to look at him, his eyes trained on me as if he really is terrified of my answer, his plump lips slightly pouted as thoughts most probably scatter through his mind on what we are. In the big scheme of things we are nothing, there isn't anything other than a little sexual tension that neither of us has pounced on, but I can tell he wants the truth, for me to indirectly say to him if I am in fact not in love with her. 

 

"No," I start, my eyes attaching to his softly, I want to tell him everything, I know I can't but maybe I can at least hint at there being something. "I'm not in love with her; I'm not in love with anyone hyung. Am I falling? Yes. Have I landed? No. Do I want to land? Fuck yes. Do they want to land? I don't know."  His eyes widen, I don't think he expected that at all and I definitely do not miss the small smile he makes before looking down at his lap trying to suppress his want to beam that beautiful toothy grin, his hand once again caressing my ear and it oddly feels like home. 

 

"You love too easily kid, that's dangerous. Whoever it is you better hope Boss doesn't find out." Of fucking course, he completely removes his hand off my shoulder and back by his side at the mention of Boss, what a cock block Seokjin hyung is. Namjoon's words do ring in my ears though, do I love too quickly? I guess I do, I mean I don't know if it is love, I mean I'm only fifteen. But I do know it's more than infatuation; he makes me feel, I don't know, content? Simplistically happy? That even though I haven't known him that long that I feel so at peace around him like he's a second skin and we have known one another since we were children. I just know that my breath hitches whenever he is here, my heart pounds at the sound of his voice and his laugh intoxicates me. To me, it's more than sexual desire; I want all of him. His body yes, but his mind and soul too. To have him bare all his secrets and fears to me without being afraid, I want all of Kim Taehyung. Selfishly. 

 

"Don't worry hyung, I'm sure Jeonggukkie will get over it quickly, it's just a crush," his voice is monotonic, my eyes snap onto him, he's just looking out the door. What the fuck? Just a crush? Is that what he thinks it is? I mean maybe it is, I don't fucking know, my mind is fucked, and I don't even know anymore. Something about his voice makes me believe that he is trying to persuade himself more than me or Namjoon hyung. Before either of us reply, Seokjin comes sauntering into the room, and we all fall silent, he looks myself and Taehyung over before nodding and before I can process what is happening Taehyung is back into the main area and Boss  shuts the door to talk to myself and Namjoon. My eyes catch onto his one last time before the door is shut and I give a small smile which he returns, god those brown spheres of nebulae, I just want to count every star, every glimmer of dust but I just want him to want me back, for real. Fully and truly. 

 

Maybe that's me being a naive teenager or me being drawn to someone special too soon in life; I just hope that our lives are plentiful and filled with everything we wish. I want him by my side, no, I need him by my side. I couldn't imagine him being taken away, what would I do? Would I break down? Would I move on? Ignore it? Become angry? Blame someone else? Blame me? Blame him? No, I could never blame him, how can this just be a crush? I'm not in love, not yet, I hope not, I am too young. But I hope I still feel the same way further down the line when I am eighteen, maybe then we can be something. I'll wait for him. I just hope he will wait for me.  

 

 

 


 

 

 

SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 18.49PM

 

I don't know where my body is taking me, still immobilized from thinking and even feeling; I am just a body. There is nothing inside, not that I can feel anymore anyway. I must look funny; people seem to be having more attentive looks towards my direction, with my breathing laboured and eyes shutting hard to try and withhold the sensation of him on me. My feet are dragging also, I keep tripping and stumbling but never falling to the ground, I don't think I can when I have already fallen, fallen so fucking hard. 

 

I think that's why it is a surprise when I find myself outside Peaches, the gregarious music humming through the chilled streets of Gangnam. I don't know if it's actually cold or if that is my body reacting and trying to rid myself of the warmth of his sweaty body against mine, I just know I don't want to think about it, I don't ever want to talk about it. I am a gang member; if my comrades were to find out what happened then they would think less of me, I wouldn't be Sniper, I would be the boy who couldn't even defend himself and got fucked because of it. I hate myself, how my body reacted, what sort of assassin am I? I train to be powerful, to never get in a situation like that but it happened. He happened, and now I'm left with the torture of his touches. I just pray Kim didn't have that, that he was willing when Boa took him. I am just like one of them, one of the weak little children our gang saves from the snakes; everything seems so cold and distant now. 

 

"Gguk?" I hear a gentle voice break through the barrier of meaningless thoughts; my body stumbles when turning and I feel a hand settle on my arm, but I shift away instantly. Before I can react, I've tumbled backwards and straight onto the pavement with a loud thud. "Jeongguk? What's wrong?" Why is her voice echoing? I try to focus on her face, see what she looks like but I can't seem to get a good grip on working out where she is, my vision is fading. I know I am conscious, my senses are just dulled, my mind hollow, all I want is for what happened to go away. I refuse to think about it; I can't tell anyone. They can never know how pathetic I am. 

 

When I next find myself consciously aware I am sat inside Eunha's room; she's perched there intently watching me with wide eyes. My head kills, an excruciating throbbing in my forehead which must be from the pressure my head hit the wall. Eunha tilts her head; she's obviously unsure on why I am suddenly mute and acting weirdly. "Why are you here Gguk? Has something happened?" I just blankly stare back, I can't tell her. I can't tell anyone. "You're lucky I was working today, who knows where you would be right now if I hadn't just arrived." Her sweet tone rings through my body, and I feel myself begin to well up, I'm not supposed to be this weak of a Sasin, I am strong. 

 

"I can't offer you my services today Gguk, I'm reserved," her voice trails off as she looks away and over to her closet where she keeps her outfits for the evenings. A wave of guilt falls over me; she's been through this too. I did this to her in a way, used her for my own pleasure and just assumed she would want it to because I pay. I just stare at her face, she's so pretty, she could easily leave and become something so much more. Maybe I deserved what happened to me today; maybe this is my payback for all the times I've been selfish and only think about myself. Perhaps this is payback for all the people I've killed. I deserved it. 

 

"Reserved?" I croak, her eyes trail back to me, she's obviously surprised I actually answered, she smiles slightly before standing and coming over to sit next to me. I shuffle along, not wanting to be too close to others, I see her frown subtly, but she doesn't question it. 

 

"Yeah, you know. It's some business man from America. Apparently, he saw a video of me and requested I go to a hotel tonight." 

 

"Do you want to?" She looks at me sullenly, eyebrows twitching in confusion, "like, do you want to be used by men all the time? For their pleasure?"

 

"Where is this coming from? I don't care; it's just my body, it's just sex. It doesn't affect my heart or my soul Gguk; it's my job."

 

"Why would you want this life? You could do so much more."

 

"So could you! Listen Gguk, I don't know what's happened today, and I have known you long enough to know that you're not going to tell me, I suspect it has something to do with those marks on your neck huh? Who is it this time? The new boy you were training?" She nudges me teasingly, but I feel like throwing up, I shakily reach my hand up to touch my neck and wince at the purple bruises scattered along the side, he marked me. He fucking marked me like I am his property. I feel so dirty, and I just want it to go away. 

 

"Yeah, that's what it is," I deadpan and she clicks her tongue telling me I shouldn't get involved with other Sasins. "Whatever, can I get fucked up?" Her smile widens at that and before I can even blink she's skipping over to her dresser and bringing out the familiar tin with the majestic white powder from heaven. 

 

"Do you want a bag? I have a spare?" I just nod, maybe a little too eagerly but I need something, anything to numb me from feeling his scorching hands on my flesh, the whispers he spoke pouring like venom into my mind, the feeling of him inside me, burning and tearing, I've never been belittled like that, never not been in control. I can't do anything about it, can't talk, can't expose him; it's not something I want to face ever again, I could kill him. But I don't even want to be in the same premises as that man, what if he does it again? What if my body freezes and I am unable to move? I'd be hurt again. That's when I come to the conclusion that I will never speak of this after today, block it out and try to move on. To forget everything, I am a man; I can't cry wolf. 

 

"Have a quick hit, I have to leave soon," Eunha snaps me back into reality, she's forming straight lines of bliss, and I can feel my body itching to have it inside me. I need this, something to both dull me and to also be fucking euphoric. This will be my only escape, to feel like the bird I have always wanted to be, to be free, to have these shackles taken off my feet and to spread my wings and just get out. Run away, find a new life away from the numbness of Gangnam and the torture of today. To forget. To not feel so pathetic. To know that I am in control. Not him. Never him. Only me. 

 

"Is training going well? Is he a Sasin yet?" Eunha shuffles the tray over towards me with steady hands before placing it on the bed next to me as she sits down. I can feel myself salivating at the mere thought of having that running through my body soon, elation in a Utopian daze. "What's his name?" She asks softly before tucking her hair behind her head and bending to snort up a line, I watch, wanting nothing more than to do the same. The look on her face is enough for me to impatiently follow her actions and snort up a line myself. The hard knock of burning against my nasal passage kicks in but the smoothness of it going down my throat and the taste, I'm in heaven.

 

"Jimin, why? You want to fuck him?" I ask rubbing my nose before bending back over to take another hit; I feel my eyes roll back at the feeling of hedonism. Fuck, I never want to feel anything else. 

 

"No, he's out of bounds anyway isn't he?" She smirks at me tilting her head before swiping the excess powder onto the tip of her finger and into my mouth. It sizzles, liquefying against my tongue, the sweetest syrup. Fuck, I never want this to go away. 

 

"Why would he be out of bounds?" I ask wiping my forehead from the sweat, it's going to take a while to kick in properly, but I can feel myself beginning to feel like I am floating, just hovering over the bed with my head strewn back allowing it to soak into my bloodstream. It's a snowy haven of self-indulgence, an escape from everything shit and wrong with this wretched world. 

 

"I thought you wouldn't want others near him; you seemed pretty touchy when you were last here, throwing him over your shoulder like that." So she had seen, I smile thinking back to last time, that high was fucking astounding. "Seemed like he was the next after Kim, not true?" 

 

"He isn't Kim-"

 

"Is anyone Kim? That man has you wrapped around his finger, tight." 

 

"How so?" I ask leaning back against her cushions, this bed feels like a cloud, I am floating. I watch her as she stands, her long flowing black hair rippling down her spine as she moves. Those feline looking eyes elegantly flutter, those lips rosy and addictive. Everything about her is captivating; I never know if it's the cocaine or me actually being attracted to her that makes me want her body. But I won't, not now. Maybe never, she isn't mine to have. Just like I wasn't his. 

 

She shrugs before femininely prowling over to  her closet, stripping on the way to reveal her streamlined naturally curved assets, I can only watch in beguiled attentiveness. I start to feel the low hum of it beginning to take over my body, the pleasure flooding my being. "He just always seemed to be your number one priority, you weren't even together Gguk, and he toyed with you. Still is. Who gave you those marks if it wasn't the new boy?" She turns to face me, eyes intrigued as she looks at my neck, I feel myself shrivel, even in my new high that question pulls me back. 

 

"It wasn't anyone." 

 

"Hmm, if you say so," she chirps cheerfully before slipping into another skin-tight dress, except this one is more appropriate for a hotel room rather than a strip club, she does look beautiful. "I hope whoever it is they are treating you alright Gguk; I'd hate for you to be stuck in something that isn't going anywhere." I just look away; I don't want to be thinking right now, I eye up the bag and pour myself another line and instantly take it, I need it. "I'll give you that extra bag; I'm trusting you don't be careless with it though."

 

"I'm not a child Eunha; I can take some coke without being stupid about it."

 

"I know, just don't become reliant, once in a while, okay?"

 

"Sure, whatever."

 

"I mean it though Gguk, look after yourself." 

 

"Can you stop lecturing me? I'm not a kid anymore!" I ask aggravated, and she just turns back to getting ready, the third line of cocaine seems to have pushed me over the edge, and I soon find my body fully stimulated in the sense of euphoria I was looking for. Just for a moment, only at this moment, I don't feel so pathetic, I don't feel as weak or incompetent as I am, I am worth more right now, worth more than his touches and those foul words he hummed into my mind, he doesn't own me. I am more. 

 

I know this won't last forever, this feeling is only a temporary bliss, and within the next hour, I will have returned to the sad life of a boy who failed himself, who allowed himself to be abused and harmed, a worthless Sasin without a voice. But I will be strong; I will fight it, to not let him win. I will get my revenge on my own; someday, I'll allow myself to be free. Free like the Eagle I claim to be, free like the young boy that was ensnared into a world of guns and violence. Into a world where I no longer want anything to do with. Not now, not in this haze, when I fall this all will be forgotten, I'll return to the gang with my loyalty and dedication to what I am now, kill that man alongside Jimin and pretend like I wasn't taken advantage of. Like I wasn't raped. 

 

Like I am not pathetic. 

 

 

Chapter Text

 

SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 22 AUGUST // 00.15AM

 

I've been stumbling around the streets since I left Peaches at quarter past seven tonight, I haven't built up the courage to go home. I don't even know if Jimin will be there, I haven't had it in me to check, I know it's selfish because he was suffering today but I just can't. I physically cannot move myself towards the apartment; I feel so weak and meagre, a Sasin who can't even fucking defend himself. I literally have trained since I was fifteen to be able to get out of situations exactly like that and I have on multiple occasions in the past, but apparently, my body had other objectives. It wasn't even like he was the most muscular brute of a man if anything he was rather unsubstantial in muscle mass, I could have, I should have been able to fight him off. I don't know what happened and I am so ashamed and disgusted with myself.

 

I've been walking around trying to get the insufferable droning of his breath against my ear out of my thoughts; I don't quite think it's settled in yet. What happened to me today was the biggest mistake of my life, a mistake that I know will eat me away, I feel as if I am dying. I don't really know where I am; cars go crashing past, the magnetic lights in an array of colours dimly hum against the darkness of the growing night. A group of girls giggling, on their way back from partying startle me, my eyes turning wide as all five of them look at me with disgust, whispering under their breaths as they walk past. But I just keep staggering forward, further into the darkness of Gangnam, further away from my apartment. 

 

I never thought anything like that would happen to me; I'm a man, that doesn't happen. You hear about it happening to females all the time, sexual assault and harassment, unfortunately, seem to follow women around in this world. But what about men? What about me? I know I am not going to tell anyone, humiliate myself, what would I even say? 'Oh yeah, I was pushed up against a wall and fucked and didn't even try to get away.' Does that mean I wanted it? If my body was so uncooperative, does that mean I secretly wanted it? I don't think so, but maybe me telling myself that will make this gaping hole inside me diminish. 

 

I can still feel him inside me, it hurts. I've never been the receiver; I prefer dominance. Maybe that's why I am so upset? I wasn't in control? I don't know honestly; everything seems so distant and confusing, I don't understand myself. I am ashamed, so fucking ashamed. I just keep thinking about how I am stronger than him, how if I hadn't frozen up like a little bitch I wouldn't be here right now, I wouldn't be suffering silently on my own accord. I can't cry wolf, as I said to myself earlier if the gang found out that me, of all people, me, was dominated like that they would laugh, they'd probably lose all respect and then where would I be? I wouldn't have anything, no title, no power, no mask. 

 

I have to put this cloak on for myself, shield myself from the world and just become Sniper. That's my primary goal, kill, do your job, never lose power again. This will pass, right? I'll get over it? The shame, the discomfort, the fact that I got a fucking mistake, I know it's natural but why would my body do that to me? Why would it want that, to be aroused by being pounded dryly, that fucking searing pain, none of it was pleasant? So why? Why did my body react that way? Like I enjoyed it. Like I wanted him. Like I asked for it. Maybe I did? Perhaps he read me wrong when I asked him about Jimin? Did I ask? I can't remember. To be honest, I don't want to remember. 

 

My mind flows back to Jimin, is he okay? I have no idea where he is; I should probably text him. I'll be slaughtered if I've lost him now, after everything. That would just be my luck, wouldn't it? Me letting Park escape, would he do that? Would he leave me? Probably. I mean everyone else has in a way, I'm alone. 

 

As if right on cue, my phone harshly buzzes in my back right pocket, it sends my heart into a frenzy at the sudden vibrations against my tender flesh, and I stumble to pick it up without my hands trembling too much. I notice the id first, and I breathe out a heavy sigh, Yoongi. 

 

'Kid?'

 

'Yeah?'

 

'Where are you? Park said you hadn't returned home yet.'

 

'He's at home?'

 

'Yeah, why wouldn't he be? Are you alright? You sound unwell.'

 

'I'm fine hyung; I'm on my way home now.'

 

'Okay... Kid?'

 

'Yeah?'

 

'I heard about today.'

 

'Today?' 

 

'Don't sound so afraid! Boss told me that you offered to end your life to let Park go, real heroic kid...'

 

'Oh that. Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking hyung.'

 

'I expected you to do something like that when Boss told me Park had to kill his mate. Are you in Gangnam? Where did you go? Park came back to the nest by himself.'

 

'Peaches.'

 

'Ah.'

 

'…Yeah.'

 

'Just get home kid, we have a busy day tomorrow.'

 

'Don't you mean today hyung?'

 

'Don't get cheeky you little shit, just get home. Park needs to have that man killed by the end of the day.'

 

'Yeah, whatever hyung, I'm going.'

 

 

00.38AM

The apartment is excruciatingly silent when I finally step foot into the familiar setting that once brought me so much comfort; now I am not so sure. My vision still feels a little flimsy; my knees keep locking as well, I can just feel my body crumbling. I know Jimin is here, the faintest breathing from his room can be heard. I dare not wake him and instead chuck my shoes onto the rack and make my way to the bathroom. I need to wash, scrub myself until it's raw and the pain overtakes the feeling of his dirty hands over my skin. It's like an annoying tick, my head snapping in and out of thinking about what he did. I don't want to fucking think about it, but how do you begin to even forget that? The cocaine has completely worn off, and now I am left with this dull buzz of nothingness, what a fucking sad life I have hey? Look at me, pathetic. 

 

My bare feet tread across the icy coated tiles of the floor as I stagger into the bathroom, my hand shakily reaching out for the sink to steady my walking. Everything hurts. My whole body, it aches, I am just so tired of feeling his hands ghosting my flesh, I want it to stop. I dare not look at myself in the mirror as I strip, I don't want to see the marks. I can see them in the corner of my eye, the marks that scatter across my chest as he clawed, tearing through my skin with a perverted grip. But the clawing was nothing compared to the disgusting wet kisses he left, just thinking of it is enough to make my stomach churn, how could he do that? I don't even know him. I wonder what he's doing right now, probably sleeping happily, maybe even harming someone else. I don't know when tears started to fall, but they have, so hot and painful that it stings my already sore eyes. I want to collapse, like last time. For Jimin to come in and protect me, but I can't, he will never know what happened. No one will. Just myself, alone. 

 

The shower didn't help, if anything it made me even more acutely aware of my situation, the marks trailing over my body, vandalized and abused, that's what I am. The bruises on my hips are enough of a reminder to show what happened; you would have to be stupid to not understand. Why did I allow this? I want it gone, what I would do to go back and kill that man before he even laid one finger on me. 

 

I don't bother going to my bedroom, I just slouch down on the couch, staring aimlessly out the blinds up to the moon that's hidden dimly behind a cloud of pollution. Kim always said he wanted to go to Europe just to see the night sky, how it's so clear and bright when away from cities, it's rare to see the stars in Seoul. He always spoke about going to Sweden just to see the Northern lights, how the aurora sky dances in the darkness, we spoke about moving there when we are older. I doubt that will ever happen now. 

 

Strangely, the thought of Kim no longer feels like a burden. It still hurts but now, after today, he seems to bring more comfort than sadness. I just want him home. It no longer kills me inside to think that he doesn't remember who I was because I am not that boy anymore. No longer Jeongguk, not after today. I am just Sniper. Jeongguk was abused, Sniper is the abuser, Sniper will protect him. Maybe Kim not remembering who I am is for the best, he'd probably be disappointed to see where I am now, who I am. He never was too keen on the front I would put up around others, he liked me as Jeongguk, the cheeky, irritating teenager who never left him alone, where has he gone now? Look what he's been replaced with. A pathetic loser. 

 

Stupidly, I forgot to put clothes on, apart from boxers I am still bare. So when the faint padding of feet enters the living room and looks down at me with my half numb, half-asleep state, I don't look up. "Jeongguk?" My mind snaps awake, and my head follows to look up at the blonde haired older stood in just a baggy t-shirt, his hair is an absolute mess, and his cheeks are puffy from exhaustion. I try to reply, but my throat is failing me from the pressure of tears and the aching from the cocaine earlier. "Why are you not in bed?" His voice croaks as he shuffles forwards and places himself on the arm of the couch, I notice his eyes trail over my bruised skin for longer than necessary. Hopefully, Jimin is stupid. 

 

"I urr," I try to speak but once again my body is failing me, anxiety swarms my stomach as I think about Jimin understanding what these marks are, his eyes are trained on the dark purple bruises that cover the side of my neck and jaw. "I umm," I try again but it doesn't work, I breathe out a sharp, heavy breath and give up. There's no point trying to speak; my throat isn't allowing it. 

 

"Where did you go?" There's something in his voice that I don't like, it almost sounds hurt, but I can't put my finger on why he would sound like that, his soft brown eyes are still glaring hard into my skin. I subconsciously move my hand up to cover the bruises and his eyes snap away and onto my face, "Yoongi hyung told me I have a man to kill and you vanished." I look away, is that what he's hurt about? Me leaving him? Understandable I guess.  

 

"I urm, I urr," he furrows his brow at my inability to formulate a sentence, I must sound like a fucking idiot. I cough, hoping to clear my throat might help, but I just wince at the crack that shakes through my oesophagus at the pressure. Bad idea. "I urr," it's even more unstable than before, what a fucking stupid shit I am. 

 

"Don't pressurize yourself to answer Gguk, you're here now. Get some sleep okay? You obviously have been busy with other activities, who was it? Eunha?" I just nod slightly, he hums before standing up, I dare not look at him, I lied. "You should probably cover those bruises; I don't think Yoongi hyung will be too pleased to see them." I can only nod my head again in reply; I feel so small.

 

"Get some rest Gguk, I'll see you in the morning." His voice is too soft as his feet patter back down the hallway and the faint closing of his door some reason sends me over the edge, and I just begin quietly sobbing to myself for no reason at all. Why am I so weak? I just want to be strong, be a proper Eagle, but right now I feel more like a sparrow. Eagles eat sparrows; I'm a dead man walking. 

 

 

 


 

 

SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 23 AUGUST // 10.12AM

I couldn't sleep, every time I closed my eyes, I could feel his hands. It's torture, and I keep trying to work out what I did that made me deserve such a fate, maybe this is my payback for killing Boa. How ironic huh? I haven't spoken ten words since Jimin woke up, we just silently got ready for the day, and now I am sat in the nest waiting for hyung to be ready.

 

I am just sat here on the leather couch staring at the slightly torn fabric of the chair that's propped against the wall, that's hyung's chair, he sits there when he wants to nap. It's been there longer than I have been in the gang and if anyone else sits in it you're instantly thrown out, that's where the tear is from. Some gang member sat in it and refused to move, Yoongi hyung went for him with a knife, and in the process of trying to stab his arm, he tore the fabric. I remember watching, it was on my sixteenth birthday, and I was sat where I am now just watching the ridiculous fight over a grubby old chair. 

 

"Jeongguk! Your hyung is a bitch!" Hoseok appears, storming into the sitting area with a gun in hand. For most people, the sight of an angry looking red-headed man holding a gun would be enough for them to shit themselves and run away, to me I just blink casually, I know it isn't loaded. By the fact that Hoseok hyung has a cloth in his other hand I just know they have, yet again, been fighting over how to clean the weapons, seriously it's not that fucking deep! His footing is stout against the concrete flooring before he slouches down across from me on the other leather couch, his expression forming into a neutral one as soon as his ass hits the material. He doesn't say anything else before another set of angry footsteps can be heard and I don't have to turn to know who it is. 

 

"Yah! Don't call me a bitch unless you want a bullet in your fucking skull!" He's angry, but there isn't any sense of aggression behind it, these are just words, no bad intentions will actually come from their arguments, they never do. I just lean back, closing my eyes and soaking in the debates that are going to unfold, I don't need to see it to know what's happening, it's the same every time. 

 

"Oh, threatening hyung! Why don't you come over here and show me!"

 

"Don't test it! You know I could snap your neck in a heartbeat!"

 

"But you won't!" Hyung singsongs, I can feel the radiant smile beaming off of his face, "come on then, show me you're not a bitch!" 

 

"You little fucking shit!" By the sound of rushed feet and a little yelp, I know they are now fighting. I look back up to find Hoseok hyung sprawled across the couch with Yoongi hyung standing over him, the loud clash of his hand onto Hoseok's ass is enough to set my own skin into meltdown at just the sound of the impact. A strange 'oooh!' the noise comes out of Hoseok, and I can't help but start giggling, that seems to throw them both off, and their heads shoot to look at me, their fight is forgotten as soon as Yoongi sits down next to Hoseok to inspect me. 

 

We just sit there for a while, both of their gazes never faltering off of me, it isn't intense, or anything but the small content smiles shows me that they are happy to see me laugh, even if it is at their expense. Once I've calmed myself, my attention turns to my phone, just scrolling through nothing until I come across something that makes my heart stop. Taehyung. I cannot resist clicking on the article, what I read doesn't hurt me as much as it should. 

 

KOREA'S NEW SHINING STAR OF THE IDOL WORLD SET TO SELL MILLIONS IN UPCOMING DEBUT TOMORROW! 

Here's all the information you need to know on the new most sought after singer in the whole of Korea:

 

Idol Kim Taehyung, a 20-year-old singer under the label Big Hit, with the unique stage name of V, has made quite the impression already. With teaser trailers, an amazing visual and vocal ability, the young star is set to be the hottest thing this year in his debut tomorrow (24.08). The singer is already known for his expensive taste in clothing and world-renowned appearance. We sat down with the singer in a recent interview to find out everything you need to know about Big Hit's golden weapon:

For the interview, Taehyung came in wearing this beautiful Gucci corduroy jacket with buttoned embroidery, a pair of jeans and a white partially unbuttoned shirt, his newly dyed grey hair parted to show his forehead. The young idol was very happy to be here, the first thing I noticed was his broad smile. He arrived with his bodyguard who goes by the name Cobra (very intense), the man seemed very protective over the young boy, but Taehyung seemed to thrive in the attention. As soon as he was settled we started questioning:

'What is it like to be the newest addition to Big Hit?' 
'It feels like home, I've been apparently training ever since I was fourteen, everything seems a little like a blur to be honest (laughs) it's all happened so fast, but I am so grateful for the opportunity to do what I have always dreamed of, and that is to perform.' 

'Is there anything you can tell us about the upcoming debut and the single?' 
'(looks to bodyguard for approval) I can tell you that the songs on the album are very much expressions of my own feelings, I was lucky enough to be able to have almost full control over my album, and I poured my heart into every one of the songs, especially my title track, that has a very special meaning to me. Considering the debut, you'll just have to wait and see!' 

'You already have a wide fan base worldwide, what do you think has drawn so many people towards you and your music which they haven't even really heard yet?' 
'I don't really know; I guess I am seen as something new and refreshing from the same idol type of music. An old friend of mine used to tell me about how my soul is a beacon of light and hope to him and to everyone who crosses my path, I'd like to think that's the reason.' 

'You have been seen on multiple occasions hanging out with celebrity friends, Seojoon being one of the many, are any of them romantic?' 
'(laughs) I'm not sure if I am allowed to answer that! No, they are my friends, and I am so glad to have them because I have at times during the past couple months felt incredibly lost and out of place, if I didn't have Seojoon or Kwan I don't know where I would be.' 

'What does your family think of your upcoming fame?'
'I wouldn't know, I haven't spoken to them in years but I know they would be proud of their son, they always knew how much I wanted to sing.' 

'What about friends? You've been with Big Hit a long time, has that been hard on making friends outside of the agency?'
'(seems confused) Apart from my old friend I don't think I've ever had anyone outside of the agency, I don't keep in contact with him anymore (at this moment his bodyguard steps in to stop the conversation)' But I have a lot of friends now which I am so happy to have, they have made all my anxieties about debuting go away.' 

 

I put my phone down; I don't think I can read anymore, not when the shock of Taehyung talking about his 'old friend' comes into the questioning. I know that is me, I used to tell him that all the time when he was feeling down or worthless and even when he wasn't, I just liked to show him how much I adored his presence as a human. Still do. The images of him at the interview make my heart ache, he's still as beautiful as ever, he practically radiates through the photos. My eyes go back to the two older men sat across from me, "Cobra is pretending to be Kim's bodyguard," I state and both of their eyes narrow, I can tell they are going to ask how I know so I just hand over my phone. 

 

They begin mumbling to each other lowly; I don't particularly want to hear what they are saying anyway so I just stay quiet, so he does partially remember me? I know they are hiding things from him, the way he hints at not remembering anything before a couple months ago shows that he's only recently been forced to forget his past life as an Eagle. "Kim considers Kwan a friend?" Yoongi hisses, his jaw clenching at the mere thought of one of us being friends with a snake, a gang leader.

 

Hoseok hands me back my phone, and I just shove it into my trousers, I don't want to look at it anymore, it still aches to know that he isn't a part of my life, he's an idol now, a worldwide idol by the sounds of it. I would be lying if I said I wasn't proud of him, Kim has always had a beautiful, soulful voice, and I always wanted him to pursue it.

 

What gets me the most in that interview is the mention of his parents. He clearly doesn't remember them; if he did he would know that they sold him to a prostitution ring as a child, he would know that they are dead and that they certainly wouldn't be proud. I'm pleased though, he's free from our gang but trapped in a vicious circle of snakes. I want to free him. 

 

"So are you going to tell us who's had a feast on your neck?" Hoseok suddenly speaks, my eyes lock onto him, and I gulp, fuck he always knows when I am lying. I can see Yoongi watching me too, but the small smirks on their faces tell me they think it's Eunha. "You are going to Peaches a lot more often now kid, anything you want to tell us?" He crosses his arms with a smug little pout, his eyes crinkling before bursting into a wide smile. Yoongi sat beside him with the familiar eyebrow raise and intrigued little glint in his dark eyes; let's hope my acting skills have improved. 

 

"If I tell you it was who you think it is will you shut up about it?" I ask mumbling slightly as I look down, they both snort, yep, they think it's Eunha. "I'm a growing boy hyung; it's practically in my DNA." Yoongi snorts even louder at that; he leans back against the chair with his wide gummy smile, he's obviously finding what I said hilarious. 

 

"Yah! Fucking prostitutes is not in your DNA! That's just you being a horny bastard!" 

 

"Let him have his fun hyung; he's been deprived for seven months."

 

"I wasn't deprived hyung," I speak, both men just blink knowing that what I just said was a lie, okay, I didn't want to sleep around because I thought Kim was coming home! That isn't a crime! I was loyal. 

 

"So what changed? Eunha is suddenly allowed to eat your neck? Park told us you have marks all over your chest, what the fuck did you get up to yesterday?" Yoongi sniggers and my stomach flips, I try to act coy. "Ah look at him, trying to act like we don't know what he gets up to, we can see right through you kid." I hope not; if they see through me, then I am absolutely positively fucked. 

 

When I don't reply they just continue talking about me as if I am not there, I turn to see Jimin joining us by sitting next to me, I don't mean to shuffle away but he's too close and I feel like if I stayed with our bodies slightly touching I might have a mental breakdown. Keep the cloak on Jeongguk, don't let them see it. "Look at him being all respectful for Eunha and moving away from Park!" Hoseok bellows with laughter as he and Yoongi point at me and chuckles among themselves. I turn to look at Jimin; he seems hurt by it as his head falls to look at the floor. "Kid, what the fuck? I never took you for one to not do human contact. Usually, you're all over Park!" 

 

I don't reply; I don't think I could. "What's up your ass, kid?" Yoongi asks obviously not meaning any harm, but that sends a fit of anger to rush through my body. 

 

"Jimin lets go, fuck off hyung, you don't know shit!" I hiss before storming away and out of the nest, I don't even know if Jimin is going to follow, I haven't spoken to him apart from just then, and I can feel my throat closing in. I ignore the yells from the two hyungs about me storming away. I just wait out in the street for Park to arrive. I don't really feel like killing anyone today, but if we don't kill this man Jimin won't live to see tomorrow and neither will I, although that idea does sound tempting. 

 

"What's wrong?" Jimin asks as soon as he joins me out in the street, I just grab the materials we need, shove the face mask over my mouth and put my hood up. I don't look at him; I just continue to busy myself whilst he stands there taking me in. 

 

"Nothing now let's go, we don't have long." I shove him into moving, he sighs heavily, obviously annoyed at my lack of conversation. To be honest, it feels like we have taken ten steps backwards in our relationship in less than twenty-four hours, I know it's my fault. I've distanced myself, but I can't get close to him, not now. "This man isn't a snake by the way, not formally. He's a businessman, hyung linked him to the pornography side of the gang, we think he's one that buys them." Jimin just nods, I keep my stare forwards as we walk through the busy streets to where I parked the car. No one pays us any attention, it's usual to see people with masks on in Gangnam, plus people are too wrapped up in their own shitty lives to more than briefly glance in our direction. 

 

"How do I kill him?" Jimin asks as soon as we are in the safety of the vehicle, I shove the stuff into the back seat, taking my mask and hood off and Jimin does the same. I can tell he's nervous; I don't have to look at him directly to feel the anxiety pulsating off his body, the way he's playing with his hands and shifting on his seat every couple seconds. "Will it be close contact?" I shake my head. 

 

"No, we'll have to kill him from further away, hyung found his house, luckily for us, the apartment block opposite his home is out for rent. You won't have to see the aftermath, just shoot him, and we can go," I deadpan, I don't mean to come off as harsh as I am towards him. It's just I know out of everyone I am most likely to crack if Jimin notices something is wrong, so by me putting up the front that I am just moody and tired it should hopefully throw him off the scent that something terrible happened. "I had to really pull a lot of strings with Boss for you to not kill your friend Jimin, you can't fall through with this."

 

"Thank you for that by the way; I know Taemin isn't as good as I once thought, but he is my dearest friend. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he died." I won't mention me having to kill him then; I don't think Jimin would take too kindly to that information, he will never know I was the one to kill him. A snake is a snake at the end of the day, and all snakes no matter how kind or special they may be must be terminated. If Sniper has to gun down every single one then so be it. 

 

"So what is he exactly? A friend from school?" 

 

"Yeah, he was in my dance class, I've been friends with him for years, and we just clicked. I miss him a lot, and he's good to me." I can see Jimin smiling from my peripheral vision; I do somewhat feel bad, I just have to keep telling myself that he is a snake. "He's probably worried about where I have gone, Namjoon hyung did let me text him and say that I had to leave University and for him to not tell Kwan, he said he wouldn't, and I believe him and considering Kwan hasn't said anything I know he's kept his word. Not every snake is bad Jeongguk, Taemin just got into a bad situation." 

 

I just hum, I don't want to have an argument right now, I don't have the energy. We spend the whole drive in silence, Jimin just put the radio on, looking out the window at the streets flashing by as I speed down the heavy roads. I try to let my mind only concentrate on the world around me and not to fall victim to my own thoughts, the cloak is on, and it isn't coming off anytime soon. Jimin is humming along to the melody of this song I've never heard before, it's sweet, and I allow myself to listen to his voice, the high but soft tone of his voice is angelic, mesmerizing.

 

He notices me watching him as we sit in traffic and instantly stops, turning back to look out the window with this solemn expression, I bite the inside of my gums, looking back at the traffic and the abundance of people along the street lines. I've thought about telling Jimin, what would he do? Would he judge me? Think less of me? Think I am pathetic? No longer see me as someone he can turn to for strength? I shake the thoughts; you can't tell him Jeongguk, you can't tell anyone. 

 

 

 


 

 

 

SEOUL - YANGCHEON-GU // 12.10PM 

"Let's move quickly," are the first words I speak to Jimin as soon as we arrive close to the apartment buildings. I've parked by a back alley, Namjoon hyung had the place scoped out yesterday to make sure it isn't a death wish. Jimin doesn't move from his seat; I go to the passenger's seats to retrieve the materials needed, i.e., my trusty M24 Sniper rifle, this beauty has been with me for years and has never failed me. "Hood on Park," I speak again as I slam the door shut, this time Jimin does move and is soon stood by me as I look around to see if there is possibly any witnesses that could cause trouble. I also have just the usual handgun in case we get into any trouble, but if done correctly we should be in and out in no time at all. 

 

"Follow," I direct Jimin to come down the back alley with me, the apartment block is just beyond this road so we can escape quickly and easily as long as Jimin listens. "This is serious okay, both of our lives could be on borrowed time right now Park, you have to listen and obey, okay? I'll help you, but you're the one who has to elicit the killing shot. We could be here a while; I don't know if he is home." Jimin doesn't say anything; he just continues to follow my lead as we quickly speed down the alley and into the rented apartment block. 

 

"What level?" Jimin asks as I quickly assemble another gun for him to use if needed, hyung said there wouldn't be anyone other than cleaners in the apartments as known of, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to be prepared, if anything like last time happens then I doubt we would both survive. I don't reply, too caught up in quickly putting it together, I shove my hood back on and make sure the gun is secured before quickly two stepping up the stairs. I want to get away from them as soon as possible, not wanting to be reminded of what happened. I agilely zoom up the stairs leaving Jimin trying to catch up, surprisingly he doesn't fall too far behind. 

 

We reach the fourth floor in no time, and I start quickly bee-lining in and out of the different apartments to try and find the best view of his home. I indicate for Jimin to come into the seventh, he's humming to himself, I am guessing it's a nervous tick. I just stay focused on setting everything up for him, explaining how to use the gun and the scope to get a good aim. "You can't really use more than two shots. Otherwise, you'll blow our cover, and he'll find somewhere to hide, we can't afford to go over there and endanger ourselves." Jimin just nods, I look through the scope and into his apartment, it's precisely what you would expect from a businessman. Stupidly he doesn't have blinds giving us a perfect view into every one of his rooms; he's even got the living room windows open meaning he is at home. Perfect, I was worried we would have to stay here tonight. 

 

"Why do we have to shoot him? Couldn't we have just poisoned him?" I snort at that, taking my mask off to show him just how funny I found that, "what? That was a serious question!" 

 

"Okay then, you go over there and poison him, I'll stay here and shoot him for you when he refuses to eat the girl scout cookies you baked. This isn't a fucking fairy tale Snow White!" Jimin rolls his eyes, sitting cross-legged on the floor by the gun, he's taken his mask and hoodie off completely, don't blame him it's boiling. I'm keeping mine on just so the conversation can't turn back to the marks, I know what Jimin is like if it's anything like the Kim situation, he has a thousand fucking questions. 

 

"Fine so no poisoning, but do we have to shoot him?" 

 

"How else do you want to kill someone?" I ask smiling as I turn to look at the older, he's pouting trying to think of something. I know he's just trying to find ways out of this, not going to happen. "Shooting him is the easiest and probably quickest Jimin, come here and start scoping his house out so we can go home, I'm exhausted." Jimin instantly shuffles on the floor and we swap places so he can look through the scope to peer into the house. 

 

"Did you not sleep last night?" He asks softly as he turns his head slightly to look at me, I just shake my head, and he frowns. "I'm worried about you Gguk, what's wrong all of a sudden?" Something in the back of my head tells me to tell him, to share it and maybe the issue will be halved, but I shake it away, no one can ever know. 

 

"I'm fine I swear, just worried about Kim," it isn't a lie, I am worried for him it just isn't the main reason. Jimin nods, seemingly taking the bait and I relax slightly knowing that he most likely won't bring it up again now that I have fed him a lie. "Can you see any movement?" I ask changing the subject, and he looks back into the magnifier, he hums gently as he manoeuvres the gun to look through every window, I'm pretty impressed it's clear he's taken on every tip and trick I've taught him over the past two months. Hopefully, he can complete this efficiently and then Boss can think about him actually being a loyal Sasin. 

 

"He's there," Jimin whispers, I quickly jolt up to look out the window; I smirk, too fucking easy. The man has obliviously just gone straight into our view, he's outside taking the bins out, but he's on the phone not paying any attention to the world. "Do I shoot him? He's on the phone," Jimin turns to look at me for guidance, the man doesn't show any signs of ending that call, and I don't know how long we have left before he goes back inside, I just want to go home and rest. I quickly shuffle to look down the scope and get it into position for Jimin to shoot him easily. The man is just stood there, on the phone yapping away, probably on some important business call, it would be a shame to end it so abruptly. "Do I?" He whispers again. 

 

"Hold off for a moment," I whisper back, watching the man like a hawk. He just looks like your stereotypical businessman, black suit freshly ironed, his tie undone but still around his neck, pristine looking shoes that have probably only been worn a couple times. He has an expensive looking ring on his finger; he's married. I watch as he moves towards the house, I push Jimin's arm to keep it tracked onto him, and he looks back into the scope, "aim," I direct and his breath hitches, he's really about to do this. 

 

"Fire," I command and the next thing there's a sharp click of the barrel and a bullet flying through the air and straight into the man’s back and through his chest. Jimin's breathing stops when we watch the scene play out in front of us. "Shit," I whisper, as we hear the squeals of a young child stood in the doorway by his Father. The yelps of the boy calling for his mother as he cries at the amount of blood flowing from his father's chest. Jimin is panting heavily; I just pull his arm away to turn him to face the other direction.

 

"We don't have much time; we need to go," I harshly snap as Jimin refuses to move. I grab everything as quickly as I can as he continues training his eyes on the young boy and now women stood in the doorway with tears and panic. She's on the phone most likely calling the police. "Jimin, fucking move it now!" I snap at him, and that brings him out of his trance, his mouth trembling as he stumbles clumsily to his feet and I just grab his arm harshly and make my way to the door. 

 

"Jeongguk," he gasps as we race down the stairways, I don't turn to look at him, but I know he's crying. "I-I, I killed him," he sobs lowly, and I sigh heavily, we don't have time to stop before they realise where the shot came from. "In, in front of his kid Gguk!" He sobs louder, and I quickly turn to shove my palm over his mouth, my eyes wide and boring into him to tell him to shut up. I can feel his mouth quivering under the pressure of my hand, his eyes large and filled with sorrow, he is no Sasin. 

 

"I know it's hard, but we need to move Jimin, the kid will get over it." Jimin just violently shakes his head; I can hear yells outside the apartment building, his death has obviously caused a stir among the neighbours. "Jimin come on, cry about it once we are in the car!" I yank his arm into moving again, his legs stumbling to catch up with me as I rapidly dart down the stairs and out into the alley.

 

The yells get louder, and my heart stops when I see three men, their eyes attaching to mine and I know instantly we are fucked. "Jimin get to the car, start it and wait," I whisper, his eyes red and confused before he turns to look at the men, I hand him the materials, and he runs. The men at Jimin running yell again and start running down the alley after us. I just stay put, pulling my handgun from my pocket and they yell once more as I elicit a killing shot to one man in the throat. 

 

The noise of a gunshot ripples through the streets, I stay calm, we will be away from this situation shortly. I am masked into my cloak as Sniper; these men are nothing. One of the men turned and ran in the other direction whilst the other freezes by the man I shot. I just shoot him in the chest, I can't let him get away when he knows my face. The other man that got away I am pretty sure didn't see us properly to get anywhere.

 

With them both shot easily, I turn on my heels and briskly run down the alley and to where the car is parked. Jimin is sat in the driver's seat, his eyes wide as he watches me slide over the bonnet of the car and into the passenger's seat. "Drive," I yell, and he quickly steps on the gas, not without slamming into a vehicle parked on the road, I hiss at the sound of broken glass from my car, but we can sort that after we escape. 

 

The blaring of sirens signals that we only have minutes to vanish, Jimin is fumbling over everything, his hands although firmly placed on the wheel still seem to be shaking. I curse under my breath; he's in no state to drive. I quickly snap my belt off and order him to swap places; he clumsily climbs over as I get out and into the driver's seat. The sound of shouting from the alley signifies to me that we are going to get fucking caught if we don't move now.

 

The sirens intensify, and I just step on the gas, the engine revving before we dart down the street, Jimin holding onto the door handle like his life depends on it. I am more focused on getting away to care too much about speed and safety right now. Kim and I have cut finer than this on many occasions. We should get away, it's fine. 

 

Once the sound of sirens diminishes I slow down, we blend into the traffic easily, and only the sound of sniffles and panting can be heard. My heart is beating loudly in my ears from the adrenaline; I look over to Jimin who stares back with the widest eyes, I just burst into laughter. "Fuck, that was intense!" Jimin doesn't seem to share the same amusement as me, he just stares with hard eyes, "what? We got out alive you're a Sasin now Park!" 

 

"I'm a murderer Jeongguk," his voice breaks, "you made me kill a Father! In front of his son! Fuck, I'm a horrible human!" Oh, Jesus, he's crying. How do I begin to comfort him right now? Oh, this is tragic. Jimin buries his head into his hands sobbing violently; this is really fucking awkward. Like I can pretty much feel the awkwardness pulsating through the car. I try to keep my focus on the road, Jimin I think is about to have an emotional breakdown, he's either going to attack me or just continue sobbing like there's no tomorrow. I just hope we get back to the nest before the first one happens. 

 

"There, there," fuck that was patronising, try again Jeongguk. "You're not a murderer Jimin; you're an assassin."

 

"It's the same fucking thing Jeongguk; I killed someone! It doesn't matter what fancy title you put on it! I killed someone in front of their child!" He bursts into floods of tears again; I am actually cringing, why am I finding this so awkward? Is it because Jimin is showing he actually has a conscience? That I am so immune to killing that I just cannot sympathize? I didn't really feel anything when that man dropped dead directly in front of his child that cannot be older than eight. 

 

His bursts of tears are interrupted by the sound of a car engine; my eyes shoot up to the rearview mirror. "Fuck," I hiss as I see a black car streaming down down the road after us, I put my foot on the accelerator to gather speed. Jimin's eyes widen, red and puffy but now filled with worry as he clocks onto what's happening. "Quick, get the gun, get it. Text Hoseok, tell him to meet us at the usual spot, I have a plan." I quickly rush, my eyes darting between the roads and the car that's gaining on us. Thankfully it looks like my car is blessed in speed, but that doesn't stop them from decreasing the distance between our cars. 

 

"What are we going to do? How did they find us?" Jimin panics, I don't reply, just continue to carefully streamline down the roads, dodging cars and pedestrians. He fumbles over the phone, his hands too shaky, I will be surprised if Hoseok can coherently understand what he is meant to have typed. 

 

"When they catch up you'll have to aim for the driver if you can't do that then aim for the front tire. I'll lead them into a trap hopefully." This time Jimin doesn't reply, his hands tremble over the gun, and I can practically feel his heart palpitating with anxiety. God this isn't how I wanted today to pan out, I just want to rest. I continue to skillfully manoeuvre between cars, and I head straight towards the trap. Hopefully, Jimin has sent the text in time for Hoseok to already be at the scene when I lead them there. I try to outrun them so that I am too far away to be shot at; I don't particularly want civilians killed or injured when they try to break bulletproof glass. 

 

Jimin is holding on for dear life and to be honest; it's quite comedic. My attention still was drawn to the black rover that's gaining on us; it doesn't seem like there is more than one of them. Easy. I smirk looking at Jimin who looks like a petrified little child clinging to the handle on the door; I suddenly turn the radio on, the speakers blasting out some badass sounding song.

 

"Fuck yeah!" I yell with a wide grin, Jimin looks like he's going to pass out either from the motion sickness or the fact that I look like I am going for a leisurely drive with a gang car on our tail. The bass of the song only spurs me along more to pretend I am in some action movie in the middle of a car chase, I mean I am but if I pretend I am in like Mission Impossible or something fucking overdramatic like that. Maybe even James Bond, fuck yeah, Korean James Bond. Shit, all of this is going to my head, this is fucking exhilarating. 

 

"Jeongguk!" Jimin yells, shit I got distracted, I quickly swerve out of the way from a large truck, who the fuck parks a truck there anyway? That little slip up though has caused an issue, they've caught up. "Jeongguk! What do we do?" Jimin squeals panic is coating his tone, I stay calm, turning the music up higher as I smile at the older. 

 

"We make them regret ever coming after us," Jimin's face doesn't seem too excited about it if anything I think he will be sick. The music pounds through the sound system, I am so fucking amped up right now. "Hold on," I say as I harshly turn down a back street, car horns honking loudly at my abrupt turn making them stop. The car is quick onto our heels again, and I press the gas in sending us flying down the thankfully empty street. I actually feel like James Bond, this is fucking sick, Kim was always the one to drive whilst I shoot, now I understand why. 

 

This car is fucking beautiful too, Bugatti Veyron, ability to go from 0 to 60mph in 2.26 seconds, it's fucking majestic. Boss got it for me when I turned eighteen; it's been my baby ever since. I was never a boy that was into cars but this one, this has the power to change anyone into a car fiend. Just the sound, fuck it does things to me. It's slim lined matte black bodice; it's the ability to flow so elegantly down the roads, just everything about my car is beautiful. Kim was so  fucking jealous when he saw this car, but it soon became both of ours, it would always be the car we take for long drive assassinations, and if possible we would take a trip somewhere discrete to just spend some time together before we would head back to the bustle of Gangnam and the gang. I'd like to think it connects us in a way. 

 

The sound of gunfire snaps me back into reality, "shit!" I hiss, turning to look out the mirror to see them close on our tail, Jimin's ducked his head down which I laugh at. "Jimin the windows are bulletproof; you don't have to hide." He seems to ease at that but is soon flinching again when another bullet is ricocheting off the bodice of the car. They can fucking pay for a new paint job, fucking dicks thinking they can harm her like this. I make another sharp turn, only a couple more turns before I've led them straight into a trap, Hoseok should be there by now, if he isn't well... I'll have to improvise. 

 

 

 


 

 

 

"Jeongguk, remember what I taught you," his voice is stern and deep, his eyes flicker towards me as the wind blows in volumes onto our faces, drying the blood with a tightening grip onto our skin. I just smile, I get too much enjoyment out of this. His eyes turn back to the road, his own smile plastered permanently as I stick my head out of the window, firing at the bastard who got us into this mess. 

 

"Don't worry hyung, you taught me well," I lightly chuckle, reloading the gun and twisting my body to get a better angle out of the window. Fire. Got him. The car behind us is swerving off of the road; we ventured further away from the city for this. Unfortunately, the men in that car won't survive the tumble off of that cliff. I snort, watching for the heavy clunk of metal tumbling out of view, it's silent now. Except the bellowing laughter coming from the man driving next to me, I turn to look at him and his boxy grin as he reaches a hand out to pat my thigh. I did good. 

 

Our smiles are broken away by the loud scraping of a car bombarding into our side, "fuck!" He hisses quickly turning the wheel to gain control again, "where the fuck did he come from?" He hisses speeding up to put some distance between us both. "Gguk, end that fucker," is all he needs to say before I am opening the window again and shoving my head out. These gang members are fucking idiots, who points a machine gun at a bulletproof car? These idiots apparently. One bullet narrowly misses my arm, and I jump back into the safety, "hit you?" He asks worriedly, and I shake my head much to his relief. 

 

"Kim you gotta outrun them, they'll run out of ammo soon, that's my chance!" He listens carefully, a sharp nod before the car is speeding up once more. The car on our tail and firing bullets at a stupid pace, none of which have caused any damage. "They are not even going for the tires, stupid pricks!" He scoffs, laughing along with me as bullets ricochet off the car, becoming a sweet tune whilst we outrun them. Being in a gang is fucking awesome, look at all the adventures we go on. 

 

Even that noise is soon drowned out by music, he turns the volume up loud, the bass pounding and vibrating the floor but it just adds to the adrenaline. The chase will soon be over, "when we get back to the nest I'll treat you!" He yells loudly, I turn to look at him with wide eyes, treat me? His smirk says it all, "that is if you manage to kill all those fuckers!"

 

"Oh trust me hyung, those fuckers are dead already they just don't know it yet!" His wide smile is back, his eyes gleam with triumph in turning me into the Sasin he always wanted me to be. He's made me who I am, and I am eternally grateful that he is here with me if he wasn't then I don't think I would want to be a Sasin. He completes this. Without him the cup is half empty, with him it's a never-ending waterfall of possibilities. Except for the glass just smashed, I lunge forward against the dashboard as the car instantly comes to a halt, they got the tires. "Fuck!" I curse, my chest heaving slightly from the impact but my concentration is quickly onto hyung. "H-hyung?" I pant trying to get my breath back, he just stares back at me with his jaw clenched, what the fuck happened? I don't have time to find out before the other car has stopped. 

 

I take one last look at hyung before jumping out the car and facing the men; it's an instant gun fight. Bullets flying left and right but none hit me, who the fuck trains them? A fucking blind man? Seriously not a single shot is appropriately aimed, unlike me, someone who is properly fucking trained. I shoot two men instantly before ducking back behind the car, hyung doesn't have a gun. I curse at myself for not leaving him with one; I guess I'll just have to fend them off before they can get too close to him. Men upon men seem to pile out from this one truck; it's me, a seventeen-year-old kid nearly against maybe fifteen men. As I said, glass half full. 

 

"Brought a whole party?" I ask loudly before jumping and shooting another man before rolling behind another vehicle, bullets try to follow my moves, but they are just too slow. This is fucking child's play. I peer out behind the foot of the car, my head nearly being blown off if I didn't have good reflexes. "Hey, didn't your Mother ever teach you to welcome your guests?" No reply but I know I am annoying them, that's what I do, talk and distract. "I thought snakes welcomed their prey into their lairs?" I jump up again and shoot another in the chest, a loud yelp tumbling from his lips before his heavy body hits the floor. Too easy. 

 

I hear one of the guns that are pointed at me is empty; this is a piss take, how easy are they making this? It's actually a little boring when the competition is this shit. So, naturally, I decided to make this more entertaining. I stand, pushing down my hood and mask and allowing the men to take in my features. I smirk as they narrow their eyes, with the hood and mask I don't look as young as I am. "They sent a fucking child after us!" I hear one shout, and I turn to shoot him in the chest, but I quickly find myself in a headlock, a gun pointed onto my temple as the men huddle around, each with their own firearms directed at some part of my body. I smirk, fucking dumbasses. 

 

"What's your name kid?" One asks, the grip around my neck tightening and I chuckle lowly, I allow him to hold me there as they snatch the gun from my hand. "Crows resorted to children now aye?" That's fucking rich coming from them; I stay silent. "Ah, all gobby but now we caught you, you've decided to go quiet, I see how it is. Maybe this will help change your mind," I blink steadily as the safety is taken off, the familiar click before the muzzle is being tightly pressed into the tender skin of my temple, the sheer coldness makes my breath hitch just subtly. I dare not move, not when I am obviously outnumbered one to nine. 

 

"I'll repeat it again, what's your name," one man gets all up in my face, I try to move my face, his breath fucking reeks. 

 

"Do you even brush your teeth? Do you want some gum? I have some in the car," he laughs lowly, clicking his tongue at my attitude. He turns to look at the car, "you killed my mate, by the way, shame really, we were quite close." I ramble on about nothing in particular just letting the men be absorbed in my bullshit. "You should probably check the car though, get the gum whilst you're at it." I chirp after the man as he casually strolls towards the car, I try to suppress my smile as more follow him over, leaving only three with me.

 

I haven't failed to notice the relaxation of the hold around my neck and pressure of the gun faltering as I continue to bark on about nothing. "It's a shame that I am so young, but you're just going to blow my brains out, I don't think it's even fully developed yet, I haven't even had the chance to fuck anyone! God, you're going to kill me whilst I'm still a virgin!" Blatant lie but there's no harm in it. The men walking towards the car are mumbling lowly, their attention turning back to my dramatic monologue. 

 

"You know, I was planning on taking my mate on a date, you've ruined that plan now!" Their attention fully turns towards me, they look slightly amused and mostly irritated by my constant jabbering. "Will you at least burn us together? You know, all cutesy and everything? Like Romeo and Juliet or something."

 

"Does this kid ever fucking shut up?" One barks, the muzzle of the gun pricking back into my skin and that's my cue to shut up. The man still staring at me goes to open the driver's door, it's tough not to smile. "What the fuck? He isn't in here!" The car door is slammed shut and before anything else can happen there's the blood curdling tearing on flesh, a ghastly groan eliciting from the man's mouth as blood pours from his abdomen. He stands behind him, agilely darting with his Katana in hand. In the surprise attack, the pressure of the gun is lifted, and I instantly take the opportunity to kick the man in the shins, twisting my body towards him and snapping his arm, a brutal crack, and he's down.

 

I snatch my gun instantly, shooting one man in the shoulder and another in the chest. He darts around me slashing at flesh with such skill that it still mesmerizes me. Just watching the way his body flows, a fucking ninja that Kim. 

 

Within seconds all nine men are down and dead. Bloodbath. He slices the head off the one that was head locking me just for good measure, the amount of additional blood covering his face and clothes is a little alarming but his eyes still glimmer. His face stern as he looks at the massacre, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand to only smear more blood onto himself. I quickly start walking towards him, grabbing his arm gently, startling him before tucking my hand into the sleeve of my hoodie and bunching it. I carefully begin wiping the blood off of his face with my sleeve, his eyes never straying from my face, blinking softly, for the amount of adrenaline coursing through me I am pretty calm. 

 

"You took your time," I say with a smirk, our chests practically merging into one, our breathing heavy from all the energy. His eyes attach onto mine, his head tilting and he runs his tongue over his top teeth, I just continue to grin. "Did you like my acting? I think they found it riveting."

 

"Even I was beginning to find it fucking annoying; I had to take longer because you weren't fucking distracting them."

 

"Excuse me? I did an amazing job of distracting them! They even believed me when I said you were dead."

 

"Not exactly groundbreaking to believe that kid, anyway good job I guess." He pats my chest before swivelling around and heading towards the car; I swear he's always walking away. "Come on; let's get home before it's dark." I don't hesitate another second; I'd be a fool to want to stay with multiple dead bodies anyway. We will probably see this on the news tomorrow, but it won't ever lead back to us, not directly anyway. 

 

"So what about that treat hyung?" I ask with a wide grin; he looks up from changing the tire, a sheen of sweat on his forehead and cheeks. He jumps up from changing the back tire and walks around to the driver's seat, I follow and get into passengers. My eyes blink cheekily waiting for his reply, he just clears his throat and starts driving. "Hyung, my treat!" I singsong, he's ignoring me the dick. "Hyung. Hyung. Hyung. Hyung. Hyuuuungg!" The car stops, I jolt forward again, but I have my belt on so better luck next time pal. I smirk at his irritated expression; this should be good. 

 

"Jeongguk shut the fuck up," he tells me that about five times a day, I reckon he probably tells me that in his sleep as well. "There is no treat; you didn't kill them all, I had to step in." Is this bitch for real?

 

"Hyung! I risked my life for you!" He giggles at my dramatic expression, my mouth agape and eyebrows furrowed in a playful way. "I can't believe you! I had a gun pressed against my head today; I could have PTSD from that hyung and here you are, depriving a young boy of a treat! This is child abuse!" He scoffs, driving once more with a small head shake at my antics. I just start giggling, wide smile as I look at him, he's trying hard to keep his attention onto the road. "What was the treat anyway?" 

 

"I don't know; I hadn't thought that far ahead." Typical. 

 

"Can I choose?" 

 

"Who said you were getting a treat?" 

 

"Me."

 

"You're annoying."

 

"You love me," the smile on his face falters and so does mine after I realise the technicalities behind those three words, I expect the silence. It is always there after that slips out. It's like another brick slabbed between us every time I accidentally say it; I don't mean to, it just slips out. 

 

"Maybe I do," he mumbles, and my eyes grow wide, what the fuck? Did I hear that correctly? He loves me? What the actual living fuck! Holy shit! Did you hear that? Kim Taehyung loves me! He fucking- "what do you want anyway?  Nothing too crazy please, I'm not in the fucking mood." Why is he acting so casual? He just said he loves me? Did he? Am I hearing things again? No, I must have heard him wrong. I notice then that he's waiting for a reply, what the fuck do I say now? So many questions bloody hell. "Jeongguk, times running out. What do you want?" 

 

"Can we get Burger King?" He snorts, he turns to look at me like I just asked the most idiotic question, I don't get why he's looking at me that way. That's what he meant by treat right? 

 

"Burger King?" He repeats slowly as if trying to wrap his head around the foreign words; I just nod enthusiastically. "You want Burger King?" Yes, fucking hell! What's so difficult about it? "Are you sure that's what you want as a treat?" 

 

"Yeah, their chicken burgers are class." 

 

"If you say so."

 

"I do say so! So can we get it? Get it to go and then we can watch a movie or something?" He smiles at that idea, nodding quickly before the silence overtakes us once more, but it's comfortable. It's always comfortable; I just glance at him. He's everything to me, brother or more. My heart feels full in his presence, he makes me who I am, and I honestly wouldn't know what I would do if I lost him. Just the thought of not having him here, like in this moment breaks me inside. Imagine me being a Sasin without him. Sniper isn't anything without Ghost. Just like Jeon Jeongguk isn't really anyone without Kim Taehyung. I do honestly believe that he completes me, in more ways than one. That's why I want to spend every moment of every day by his side. The happiness he feels me with is limitless, an eternity of being so at peace within yourself because he's there. That was so fucking soppy oh my god, someone stops me before I cringe my life away! 

 

 

 


 

 

 

My mind crashes back into reality when I feel a light grip around my bicep, my eyes darting to the source of the touch. Jimin. His eyes are blown wide, the car still speeding at the pace of light, how have I been able to drive when my mind was wandering so carelessly? I flinch at his touch, he instantly retracts his hand, he's subtly concerned at these sudden constant reactions to touch, but I know he won't question it, at least not right now anyway. "Hoseok sent a text; he's there." I nod sharply, thank fuck, I had no idea how to improvise, I'm not Kim. 

 

My mind flickers back and forth between the comparative differences between car chases when Kim was here and now when he isn't. A lot of my traits are copied from him, the loud music, the laughing at the adrenaline, the speed. But the main difference is the company, Jimin isn't enjoying this, at least he is incredibly good at hiding it if he is. There's no treat, or back up plan sorted between us if we were to get caught. I don't even know if Jimin would shoot someone for me if I was captured. I should hold more faith in him really; he's a good Sasin. A little consciously aware but that's just him. 

 

I don't waste any more time, I dart around the corner and straight into the trap. It's empty, just a large warehouse, "Jimin get out as soon as I stop the car we only have around twenty seconds to get out before they are here." Jimin's eyes are masked in horror, but he doesn't have time to think about it before I am jumping out the car and darting inside the building. Jimin hot on my heels as we hear the car tires screech to a halt and men marching out after us. Right into it. 

 

I duck behind some crates; this will all be over within the next two minutes or so. Jimin sits trying to catch his breath next to me; I just shove my hand over his mouth to stop it from being too loud and giving our hiding place away. "He's in here, find him!" A voice echoes around the large expanse of the building, we use this place for deals sometimes, although we will have to find somewhere else soon. The familiar clanging of metal makes all their eyes advert up onto the second floor. "He's up there!" Stupidly they file upstairs, leaving the bottom floor unguarded. 

 

I quickly take my hand away from Jimin's plump lips and nudge my head towards the door; we don't have long before that clicking metal noise kills us too. I am halfway out of the building when a small noise stops me in my tracks. Fucking bless you. I turn to see Jimin stood wide-eyed, he fucking sneezed. What the fuck. Suddenly, bullets are flying at us with loud yells that we are down here, fuck. I lunge forwards and drag Jimin in front of me and out into the driveway where the cars are. Where the fuck is Hoseok? I realise how shit this situation is, now that they know where we are and have fully loaded guns we are kind of stuck. I push Jimin behind the car, telling him to stay put whilst I shoot as many men as possible, which is zero. 

 

Fuck, what would Kim do? Probably whip out his Katana and reek havoc on these shits, but I don't have that. All I have is a handgun and a trembling twenty-year-old man. Just to add to my luck, I've run out of bullets, fuck. "Jimin, the gun," I hiss, and he chucks the gun towards me, I instantly start shooting again, getting one in the shoulder with a loud howl he falls. Where is Hoseok? 

 

Just like that the rippling of fire bursts through the doors, the men yelling at the scorching heat. I knew he was here; the fucker was just waiting it out. Hoseok got this flamethrower for his birthday; he likes trapping men inside this warehouse and burning them alive. I don't question it. Looking at the place you can tell, the metal interior has melted in some areas and the burnt smell of human flesh oddly smells like bacon. Tarred bacon, but bacon all the same.

 

Jimin's eyes are wide, his mouth agape as his brown orbs reflect the magnetic hues of orange dancing off the bodies in a ferocious attack. It isn't the most pleasant thing to watch; their cries echo around the building as Hoseok continues to burn them. Each falling in a scorched heap. You might think it a little over dramatic, but that's just Hoseok. He is always thinking of new ways to kill people. He said just shooting them is boring, I would have to agree. 

 

"What the fuck?" Jimin whispers as the last man falls and Hoseok begins laughing at his new toy. "What the actual fuck?" Jimin repeats louder, and I collapse next to him from exhaustion. This day has been too long, "why does he have that?" Jimin asks quietly nudging me as the older skips around with the weapon and extinguishing the cindered bodies that were once men. That smile is a little concerning, but I don't think too hard. Hoseok. 

 

"Birthday present," I breath back before resting my head against the exterior of the car, I'm about to pass out if I don't get home soon. "We don't usually burn people alive," I say as a last minute hope to justify the over excessive murder we just committed in no time at all. It's too easy really, but as I said, we gun down snakes that come into our territory. Jimin doesn't reply; he just continues to silently judge the red-haired man as he extinguishes each body, he kicks one for good measure and bursts into fits of giggles making Jimin turn away. He probably thinks we are all psychopaths. 

 

"Good job you two, we got them good and proper!" His voice is far too happy; I groan wanting nothing more than to pass out on my bed and sleep for hours. I feel a sharp nudge, and my eyes flicker open to see Jimin pouting. "He's fine, let's go!" Hoseok chirps joyfully, and I want nothing more than to roll my eyes at the older, but I'm far too sleep deprived to even think about doing such an action. "Jeongguk let's go!" He repeats, but I can't get to my feet. Both men stare down at me puzzled, why can't I move suddenly?

 

"I-I can't hyung," I shakily reply, trying to ground myself but my head is spinning. Jimin comes forward and tries to lift me, but I yelp in agony. "Don't touch me!" I snap a little harshly, and he instantly backs away like a kicked puppy. I sigh, breathing in and out trying to compose myself, but I can feel his hands. I yell out loudly, squeezing my fists into balls, "get the fuck away from me!" I bellow, frustration coating the words as I can feel his breath, "please, fuck off!" I wail, my voice breaking and I don't mean to, but I start to cry. 

 

"Jeongguk, what's wrong?" Jimin asks timidly; I can't look up. I just sit there panting and trying to relax my mind as he touches me, he's all over. Everywhere. In my skin, inside me. In my fucking head. I can't escape, and I want to. I want to flee and leave my own body. Leave it to rot. I no longer want it. Please, just let me get away from him. My heart is pounding at an alarming rate, a sharp ringing in my ears and I scream loudly with aggravation, I'm fucking pathetic.

 

"Jeongguk!" Jimin tries again, but his voice is faint against the I know you like it, you filthy little boy. My body begins to shake, my eyes look up among the tears into the eyes of the older's, their faces coated in concern and I sob. Jimin crouches down, daring not to touch me but close enough, so my eyes are trained only on his. "Listen to me, listen closely. Breathe. In and out, okay? Just concentrate on my voice Gguk, breathe, slowly, in and out." I train my thoughts onto the sweet tone of the blonde haired boy. 

 

Everything blurs, only his voice. The dimming of his touches, no longer burning my flesh like those men we just killed. His panting diminishes from my hearing, only Jimin. I gulp, breathing along with him as he inhales and exhales. "In and out, Gguk. You're doing good." Jimin smiles, it isn't a happy smile more one of being thankful that I am listening, that I am not letting what overtook me control me for too long. Then he is quiet, everything is quiet, just blank noise of wind and distant cars. I look down, ashamed of what they just witnessed. I know they will question it and I know I am not strong enough to tell them. So, as per usual, the cloak goes back on, and the mask is up. Sniper. No Jeongguk. Just Sniper. 

 

I manage to stagger to my feet, Jimin's hand hovering over my frame in case it's needed, but I don't fall. I just sloppily make my way to the car, and Hoseok demands he is driving. I sit in the back, head quickly looking out the window instead of at the older next to me. I pray they do not work it out, that they think I just had a strange little episode that isn't attached to anything, but I know they are smarter than that. I've let myself down. I am pathetic. 

 

Look at me, just look. This isn't who I want to be; this isn't even who I was three days ago! I'm a weak child, he's taken control of everything, and I don't even know his name or even his face that's now a blur too. A feeble attempt to block him out but those words, those hot lips and the excruciating grip are still there. The dull pounding and hot tears, my body was taken, and I don't think I can continue. Not like this. Not when all I want to do is scream for help, for people to tell me I am safe, but I won't ever be. I am a gang member, an assassin; I deserve it.

 

I deserve the abuse and torture, but I can't help but think I didn't deserve this. Maybe to die, yes. But to have him take me like that, call me his and tell me that I want to and that my erection proves it, I don't think anyone really deserves that. I just want to be free. Free like Kim said I once would be, able to live with him in a pathetic dream away from crime and murder. This is the reality. There's no starry sky and luminescent moon that the wolf howls to here in Seoul, just snakes and eagles. A life I wish I didn't have to be a part of. I wish to be free. 

 

Once more my thoughts are broken by the unfamiliar ring tone, Jimin is quick to react and by the way his breath hitches I know it's bad. Hoseok mumbles something to him quickly, but my mind is too fuzzy to think about what he could have said, to be honest, I don't care. 

 

'Kwan?'

 

'Jimin where are you right now?'

 

'Why?'

 

'Dammit, Jimin! Answer the fucking question!'

 

'At home, why?' 

 

'We have an issue, and I want you to help me out.'

 

'Kwan I've already told you I'm not getting involved with the gang.'

 

'No, I wouldn't want you anyway. You're far too weak to even be in a gang don't be stupid. No this is about Kim.'

 

'Kim?'

 

'Yeah, you know Kim.'

 

'What about him?'

 

'I have a job for you, Kim's getting restless. There's only so much I can do to push him away from thinking about where he's been the past couple of years. He's getting suspicious, and I think you'd be a perfect distraction.'

 

'What do you mean?'

 

'You're his new best friend.'

 

'What?'

 

'Fucking hell! Don't make me repeat myself! You are the new distraction; you can dance, come over to Hannam this afternoon, you can meet him, and we'll say you're new to his dance team. Oh and bring that friend of yours from University.'

 

'Taemin?'

 

'No, that gay boy.'

 

'Justin?'

 

'Yeah, he dances too right?'

 

'Urrr-'

 

'Great, bring him to Hannam as well. Don't mention the gang to him though Jimin I swear, I think Kim will want to see some faces around his age.'

 

'Wait, I'm so confused.'

 

'Fuck sake Jimin! You're so fucking dumb! I need someone to distract Kim, he's starting to piece things together, and I can't let him somehow remember those crows. You being here would stop him from thinking, you can plant little things in his head, sway him away from them. Y’know? Bring that friend; I'll put you both as back up dancers, I know that's what you want to do right? Dance?'

 

'I mean yeah but why do you want me to bring my friend?'

 

'Fine, don't bring him.'

 

'No! No, I do want him with me its just-'

 

'Just what?'

 

'Nothing, so what time do you want us there?'

 

'Let's say seven. Kim has training until half six, so you can treat him to dinner or something gay like that.'

 

'I fail to see how dinner is gay Kwan.'

 

'Shut the fuck up, I'm giving you an opportunity here Jimin to be a dancer, I know you haven't been going to your classes don't make me regret ever paying for you to be a fucking girl in a tutu.' 

 

'Okay, thank you.' 

 

'Alright, I'll see you later cousin.'

 

'Bye.'

 

"What the fuck?" Hoseok snorts with laughter, my mind is blank, did that just happen? Jimin stares back at me with wide eyes, that did just happen. "What a fucking idiot! Sorry Jimin, I know he's your cousin and all but fuck me! He's got monkey poo for brains!" 

 

"He wants us to meet Kim?" Jimin states more as a question if anything, he seems just as dazed as I am. I'm about to see Taehyung. "He's letting me be a backup dancer!" He bursts into the widest smile as he cradles his phone close to his chest. "He wants us to dance Gguk! You get Kim, and I get to dance!" 

 

"This is a really fucking bad idea." 

 

"No, this is fucking hilarious!" Hoseok gurgles with laughter and I want to slap him, but I don't have the energy. Instead, I turn back to look out at Seoul. I'm going to see Kim? Kwan is actually allowing us to see Kim? I have no idea what to expect, but one thing I know for certain is that I can't get ahead of myself and throw who I am onto him. He's confused, trying to find himself again after his memories were taken, he doesn't know me. I'm just Justin to him for now. 

 

"You two are going to be undercover, like secret agents or some shit! This is fucking cool!" Hoseok bellows again, and I look at Jimin. We both don't seem that excited about what's going to happen in less than five hours. 

 

"This is really fucked up." 

 

 

Chapter Text

 

SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 23 AUGUST // 14.58PM

"I honestly think this is a bad idea," Namjoon states, as soon as we arrived back at the nest a meeting was called to discuss the incredibly unexpected events on behalf of Kwan. I'm just lying down on the couch trying to get at least some sleep whilst everyone else talks it through, I couldn't really care any less right now, all I want is to sleep. "What if it's a trap?" There's mumbling trying to come to an agreement that Kwan is a thick piece of shit who doesn't know how to run a gang properly. 

 

"How would he know? There is no way to trace Park to our gang, Jeongguk isn't known to them." Yoongi speaks, he's sat in his chair with his typical black coffee in hand and even more usual black attire. Hoseok is sat next to him on the opposite couch, smiling and listening carefully to what the others have to say. Jimin is then sat next to him, every time I open my eyes he gives me a soft smile which I don't really want to find out why maybe he's just polite? Maybe he feels sorry for me after what happened earlier? Or maybe he knows. Fuck, I don't want him to know. "We'll just have to wait until Boss gets here to have a final verdict, no point discussing it without him here." There's a unison of guttural noises of agreement, and then they are silent. Finally, I can sleep. 

 

I drift off to the soft whispers of Namjoon talking to the two oldest hyungs; I curl up into myself to keep my body warm. I've noticed that since yesterday, my body is freezing. I don't think it means anything, just shock perhaps? I don't know, I don't have any medical knowledge other than how to treat a headache and a cold or how to stitch up a wound, but you know the usual stuff. I think the sound of the hyungs voices stops the repeat of last nights events when I couldn't sleep because the silence allowed his voice to come through. Now, with Namjoon and Hoseok chortling away about something gang related it creates a considerable amount of background noise to allow my mind to be at ease. For the first time what seems like a lifetime since it last happened, I manage to fall asleep. Peacefully unaware that Jimin is observing me, unaware that he has realized something is definitely wrong, and it isn't to do with Kim. 

 

"Why is Jeongguk asleep?" A familiar voice breaks through my slumber, it's authoritative and holds superfluous amounts of grandness. I don't open my eyes, hoping that I can get just a couple more minutes before I am pulled back into reality and it's many painful difficulties. One of which is the infiltration of the opposing gang, something probably more dangerous than I have ever done before. I've never had to act for more than a couple hours max. Usually, I just deal with killings; infiltration is what Hoseok and his mice do. Not me. This is new, and I don't really even want to think about doing it, I mean I can definitely do it and do it well. But when Kim is involved? That puts both myself and Jimin at risk. What if he recognizes me and speaks to someone like Kwan? What if I scare him because he can remember inklings of me but can't pinpoint it? What if he doesn't recognize me at all and breaks my heart?

 

"He didn't sleep last night," a soft voice replies, Jimin gained courage? Of course, he did, I don't know why I've suddenly got it into my head that Jimin is this cutesy marshmallow that is incapable of doing anything for himself. That isn't true, Jimin is more than a pretty face, and he is absolutely more than his anxiety around murder. It's understandable, and I don't like how I keep only referring to him as this innocent little boy that reminds me of a kitten because that's only part of Jimin. Jimin has proven countless amounts of time that he is fully capable of pulling a trigger or beating someone to the ground, he is intelligent and a great friend. So, of course, he can reply, maybe it's just me projecting my own insecurities onto him? Maybe my inability to speak up is something I want to see in someone else as well. I don't think I'll find that amongst gang members. 

 

"He shouldn't spend so much time fucking whores then," that wasn't a reply I was expecting and my eyes snap open and straight onto the older man with a stern pout. "Ah, good morning Jeongguk, pleasant of you to join us." He quickly strolls over and stands to look out of the window by Yoongi hyung's chair. I watch him with sleepy eyes before directing my gaze over to Jimin who yet again, gives me a small smile. I furrow my brows in question at him, he picks it up and shakes his head, what does that mean? Why did he shake his head? Maybe it was him trying to tell me we would talk about it later? Fuck, I hope we don't. 

 

"How reliable is Park's information on Adder?" Seokjin speaks again after I've sat up, my head in my hands as I roughly rub my eyes, how long was I asleep for? My body still aches, but I am starting to get used to it, I wonder how long bruises this deep and dark will take to vanish, hopefully, a couple days, I don't want to be waltzing around with them for long. What if Kim sees? Fuck, what if Kim remembers me completely and sees me with bruises on my neck and nail marks over my chest? Would he care? Too many questions that won't be solved. 

 

"Reliable Boss, Park has never held back any information from us. We know everything needed on Adder, it is unsure though if Adder knows of his involvement with our gang. This might be a trap."

 

"Trap?" His voice is hushed as he perks his head towards Namjoon who nods, fixing his glasses onto the bridge of his nose before quickly glancing at both myself and Jimin. 

 

"Yes Boss, Kwan isn't the smartest, but he knows Park is no longer attending University but has never questioned where he is or what he is doing. What if somehow he's been informed of Park now working along with us and instead of doing what we thought he would do, which is to kill Jimin straight away he has decided to trick him. That would explain his want for Jeongguk, he doesn't know the boy and has never even met him. He may be suspicious of their relationship and want Jeongguk to come along under the coy of seeing an ex-gang mate. Hence we fall straight into his plan." Of course, Namjoon hyung would think that deeply into the situation, it is smart, Kwan using Kim to get at us but I just don't think he's that intelligent. 

 

"What if he really is just a dumb shit and has given us an unknown invitation into not only getting Kim back but destroying the gang from the inside potentially?" Yoongi adds and Seokjin listens carefully to both before turning to myself and then Jimin. 

 

"You are a Sasin now Park, congratulations by the way," Jimin just nods slightly, "what do you think? Is Kwan that stupid?" 

 

"He isn't stupid, but I doubt he would have thought I would ever betray him. He told me that I'm too weak to be a part of a gang, I don't think he would ever expect me to be a part of the Eagles. I do think he is suspicious of Jeongguk though, usually in the past I tell him of my friends I have at school, he's protective like that, but I never mentioned Jeongguk, he found out through us being spotted together. But I doubt his thoughts are onto him being a part of a gang; it's probably more of just a ‘see who he is’ situation and if he's good enough for my cousin. Kwan sounded desperate, and as you know, they are not the best at keeping level heads when they are under pressure. I think his mind is purely set on keeping Kim in the dark, so no, I don't think he knows." 

 

"Very well, Hoseok train these two for basic infiltration," Hoseok instantly jumps up and so does Jimin, me on the other hand, I stay put. I am far too tired to get up. "Jeongguk, get up," nope, not going to shift me. Seokjin quickly eyes everyone in an unspoken conversation to get out and let him talk to me. In unison, everyone moves and ends up in Namjoon hyung's office. I watch them all leave, Yoongi turning to shake his head at me, I shouldn't disobey the Boss. 

 

"Is something the matter?" That surprised me, I thought he would yell but instead, his voice is tender and calm, he perches himself next to me on the couch. For a moment he just looks like an older friend and not a Boss of a multi-million gang. I shake my head, but I am unable to look him in the eyes, I can lie when needed but when it's something like this, something I so desperately want to talk about I just can't.

 

"Who was it this time? The same?" I turn to look at him; I don't get what he's saying. "The whore, was it the same? I can see those marks, take your hood off when you're indoors." He pushes my hood off my head and quickly pulls the material away to get an eye full of the purple bruises, I watch his face carefully. He doesn't seem too displeased with it, maybe slight disapproval but nothing extreme. "Which one is it?" 

 

"Which what?"

 

"Which whore do you visit?" 

 

"Oh, urm," I don't want to give him Eunha's name for one reason, she isn't responsible for this. It is one thing to tell your gang mates that you're sleeping with an escort but to tell your Boss is another thing altogether. "It wasn't-" I can't finish that sentence, I just gulp loudly, and his hand pushes my jaw so he can get an even better look at the marks, I close my eyes tight trying to suppress my want to push him away and yell. Instead, I just bare it, I don't want him to question it more than he already is. 

 

"Man?" My eyes snap onto his, and my jaw goes slack, he huffs out humorlessly and clicks his tongue turning away from me a little. "Park?" His eyes come back to me, and they are not happy, I can't work it out if it's because he knows I sleep with men or because it's Jimin. He's never vocalized his distaste for same-sex relationships, so I guess it's the thought of Jimin being responsible for the marks. 

 

"W-what? No!" I stutter, really believable Jeongguk, for fuck sake. He hums trying to work out if I am lying, "hyung it wasn't Jimin." Better, more believable. 

 

"Who was it then?" 

 

"I can't tell you."

 

"Why not?"

 

"I don't know his name," fuck, I am walking on thin ice here, but I know lying to Seokjin isn't going to get me anywhere. He can sniff a lie a mile off, especially if the person is as anxious as I am right now. "Honestly, I was out of my head yesterday; I don't know who it was." A lie but also not wholly inaccurate. 

 

"Very well, just don't make a habit of it. I need you in your best condition; I can't have this exhausted nonsense every day."

 

"Trust me, Boss, this isn't going to happen again," I voice just above a whisper, and he nods, obviously not picking up the hurt and torment behind my words. Instead, he calls Hoseok and Jimin back into the room, a wide smile on the red-haired man's face as he cheerily strolls over followed by a somewhat sluggish Jimin. It's quite comedic really, but I still don't have the energy to even chuckle. 

 

"Has the naughty boy been put in his place?" Hoseok sniggers and I tremble suddenly at those words, all three turns to look at me in confusion and I slump in on myself to make me appear smaller, stop giving yourself away Jeongguk. For fuck sake really. 

 

"Please don't call me that hyung," I mumble, I'm met with silence, but I can hear the cogs clicking in each of their brains, they probably all have different ideas to why I acted like that, but hopefully none of them is the real reason. They can't know. I try to compose myself, stop being pathetic. I mentally put my cloak back on and straighten my body into a strong stance, take a few breaths and when you breathe out you're not going to be affected by him any longer. You're Sniper, not Jeongguk. Don't let him fucking win.  

 

"We don't have long; we better get started, kids follow me!" Hoseok breaks the awkward tension between us all, bowing his head to Seokjin before turning and heading towards his section of the nest. Jimin is quick to follow, repeating what Hoseok did and running along after him like a baby gosling. "Come on, kid!" Hoseok calls out to me and Seokjin is quickly yanking me off the comfy couch, I almost stumble, but he catches me with a loud tut. 

 

"Seriously kid, look after yourself, you're a mess," Gee, thanks. What a confidence boost that was, I just halfheartedly nod before slouching over to where Hoseok and Jimin went. 

 

15.32PM

"Right!" Hoseok claps his hands together, turning back to look at us both with a wide smile, "you two ready to get undercover cop training?" I don't think I ever said but Hoseok was found by Seokjin as a police officer, he'd only spent about a year as an officer working undercover in a smaller gang, he got bored quickly and realised he preferred what the gangs were doing to the police. Boss took him on board after he managed to destroy that small gang, he did good, and he's been with them ever since. "This is the training they gave me. Obviously it isn't as in depth because you're both already known and it isn't like you're infiltrating the gang as such, you're getting Kim, that's the goal." It won't ever be either of our jobs to take down Kwan, that'll be the hyung's job, we can just get information and possibly make it easier by killing the unwanted on the way. 

 

"Now, Jeongguk you listen carefully to this, you're the one most in danger here," Hoseok tone reminds me of teachers and I just place myself in one of the chairs in his little weapon room. I'd say we have around three hours to get completely acquainted with what we are about to be doing, we'll continue after the meeting tomorrow, for now, we just need to get by without completely cocking up. Tonight is about Taehyung; it's dangerous but unlikely to kill us. "You're used to going by your persona as Justin that isn't the problem; the issue might be you look like you're in a gang." I look down at my clothes, Jimin and Hoseok's eyes do the same, I fail to see how a black hoodie makes me look like a gang member. "You're a student; hoodies are the usual, however, I think you look a little too much like a Sasin."

 

"I think you're biased, hyung," I mumble, I'm not changing my clothes what the fuck? 

 

"No, Hoseok is right, you do look like a gang member," oh great, now Jimin is ganging up on me too! What's a boy to do around here?

 

"Fine, I look like a gang member. What do you want me to do about it?" Hoseok smirks at Jimin, I know that face, it's the same face he pulled when he told Yoongi hyung that the platinum hair dye wasn't permanent. "Oh fuck no! You're not giving me a makeover!" I shake my head violently as both older's smirk at me squirming. 

 

"Not a makeover as such, more of just spruce up of your current look."

 

"Giving me a makeover." I deadpan, there's no point arguing with hyung it doesn't get you anywhere. "Fine, what did you have in mind?" Hoseok does this funny dance at me being compliant, Jimin giggles at my beyond regretful expression for even opening my mouth. Hoseok bounds over and starts putting his fingers through my hair, "not the hair!" I bat his hands away but he just yanks it again, he has his lips puckered trying to think of what he possibly could do. Why is he acting like he knows what he is doing? When he did Yoongi's hair is turned out green, I've never seen someone run that fast away from hyung, it was fucking hilarious. But I don't want to be the next victim. 

 

"Park, what do you think?" Hoseok asks turning to Jimin who is still giggling. He wipes his eyes and tries to compose himself, don't know what's so funny but hey I'm glad he's getting enjoyment out of it because I certainly am not! 

 

"I think he should go light." Oh, fuck no, that is not happening! Jimin bursts into fits of laughter again and is soon joined by Hoseok. I thought he was meant to be training us? This definitely isn't in the job description of a secret agent. "Not light, light. Just a lighter brown, you'll look good." 

 

"No!"

 

"Yes!"

 

"No!"

 

"Yes, Jeongguk!"

 

16.00PM

"This is fucking stupid," I hiss as hair-dye is smothered onto my scalp, "why is it burning?" I ask Jimin who's taken up the job of hairdresser considering I wasn't letting Hoseok anywhere near my hair. Jimin giggles lightly to himself, I made sure we sat in front of a mirror in case it starts falling out, and I can quickly throttle Jimin before it goes too far. "Honestly, I've never wanted to kill you so much in my life." Another stupid little giggle comes out; I watch him in the mirror, his gloved hands covered in dye as he wraps pieces in tin foil, I look fucking stupid. 

 

"It's meant to burn," no it fucking isn't! This boy is a terrible liar, how the fuck are we supposed to fool Kwan and Taehyung if he can't even lie about hair fucking dye? Jesus, we are so fucked. "You're going to look so pretty!" He coos, I just death stare him in the mirror, and he bursts into laughter when he looks. 

 

"I'm not supposed to look pretty; I'm an assassin!" 

 

"A pretty assassin!" I give up; I'm too tired to argue. So, instead, I decide it's time to have a nice little nap whilst the dye develops, and I meet my doom of looking like an absolute mess. Hoseok went out to get me some different clothes as well, apparently, boys who dance don't wear all black, I think that's fucking stupid. I don't know what Hoseok has in his head as to what a dancer wears because I'm pretty sure my attire fits the bill, but if he comes back with a tutu and leg warmers I will be throwing a fit. I don't know why they are so caught up with me looking good; it's not like anything out of the ordinary is going to happen, oh shit, I know what they are doing. 

 

"You're trying to make me look good for Kim aren't you?" I ask, my eyes snapping open and watching Jimin look like he was caught in the act, he shakes his head with a childish nu huh, "Urr, yuh huh!" I reply, he shuffles slightly obviously unsure what to do now that I know what their intentions are. "Seriously changing my hair isn't going to do anything, Kim doesn't remember me."

 

"Exactly! This is his first impression; you can't turn up in an unwashed hoodie and sweaty, boring black hair!" 

 

"I think you forget that's what I looked like when he knew me."

 

"Again, exactly! Kim is confused, rocking up looking like someone he knows but doesn't is going to cause more harm than good. You turning up as Justin the dancer with different hair and different clothes isn't going to raise any eyebrows, except Kim's when he finds you looking all so handsome!" I roll my eyes as he starts cooing again if he isn't careful. I'll smash his pretty little face into the edge of the sink. 

 

05.27PM

"Jeongg- what the fuck?" Yoongi speaks pausing in the doorway with wide eyes; he's looking me over with a Jimin and Hoseok bouncing around me like I'm trying on prom dresses. "What the fuck?" He repeats before snorting and strolling over to take a better look at my hair. "Oh shit kid, that's fucking hilarious!" He bellows with laughter, and I lightly push him, and he falls back into the table but steadies himself quickly, breathy laughs coming from him as he goes over to Hoseok so they can laugh together. Honestly, this is bullying. 

 

"It's not Jeongguk anymore; it's Justin," Jimin beams, he's smiling so proudly anyone would think he just won a Nobel prize or some shit. Yoongi just snorts even louder, and I sigh even louder, turning away from the two of them and taking in my appearance. I have to say it went better than I thought it would, Hoseok is apparently not that bad at picking out clothes and somehow managed to find something half decent. It's just an acid washed jean jacket and graphic red t-shirt and ripped jeans. Something I would never fucking wear, but here I am, my beloved black hoodie strewed on the floor. 

 

Jimin starts brushing through my hair; it isn't as light as I thought it would be, it's more of a light brown. I don't know how to fucking describe it; it's brown! Jimin decided my bruises need to be covered up as well and considering my hoodie isn't in the picture anymore to cover it, he resorted to concealer. To be honest, he did a good job, but I feel so fucking weird right now. He parts my hair slightly to reveal some of my forehead, something I haven't done in a long time; I do have to admit, I look pretty good. 

 

"Damn kid, you scrub up nicely!" Hoseok half teases whilst patting himself on the back; I quickly flip him off which receives a solid slap on the back of the head from Yoongi. "Now, let's get to training, Jeongguk you'll need to be taught how to dance, but I reckon that's not going to be fixed in less than two hours!"

 

"I think he could possibly be good at dancing? I mean he's quick on his feet," Jimin scratches the back of his head trying to make it not look like I am a lost cause. "He can sing!"

 

"Unfortunately Kwan doesn't want a singer," Yoongi replies having calmed down and instead comes over to take some photos of me just to show the other gang members when they arrive so they can all laugh at me behind my back, the dickheads. 

 

"We have time, Jeongguk pretty much taught me everything now, it's my time to return the favour."

 

"How very kind of you Park but you will have to think about possibly doing this by yourself," Yoongi mumbles looking over the photos he took of me with a small snigger. "What are you trying to get out of dolling Jeongguk up anyway? Is this some teen romance movie where the girl is fucking tragic but gets a makeover, and suddenly everyone wants to dick her? Is that it?" 

 

"You love those movies don't you hyung?" I tease, and he slaps my chest, hard. 

 

"We are not trying to get someone to dick Jeongguk; we are just trying to make him look less like a gang member!" Hoseok speaks, and Yoongi looks at me with crinkled eyes as he tries to find what exactly makes me look like a gang member. 

 

"Which is?" 

 

"The hoodies!" Yoongi snorts, waving his hands to insinuate his outfit and Hoseok laughs, "you're biased because that's your style too. You both look like gang members, start wearing something out the box!"

 

"What like your fucking Balenciaga's and hideous fluffy pouch? I'd rather peel my foreskin off." What a lovely image, I shoot a look at Jimin who looks just as disturbed as me and we both burst into laughter. Hoseok rolls his eyes mumbling about how his style is so much better than Yoongi's; he taps my back and heads towards the door. I follow alongside Jimin as we chuckle among ourselves, the hyungs are so fucking weird. 

 

18.48PM 

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't shitting myself. Absolutely, positively, one hundred and fucking ten per cent shitting bricks. I've woken up a little and all the enjoyment of the past two hours of getting made over and learning how to not fuck shit up when undercover has left me with one thought. I'm seeing Kim. Like in the flesh. I've dreamed about this moment for seven fucking months, and now, now it's happening. I always thought he would just show up one day and run into my arms whispering apologies for leaving. The sad reality is that he won't do that, I'll meet him as Justin and Jeongguk will be a distant and blurred memory he will never have back.  It's fucking depressing, but it's the truth. 

 

We are in the car right now; it only takes roughly ten minutes from Gangnam to Hannam-dong, I've never been there. It isn't a place I've ever felt like I needed to visit, it's just a neighbourhood for the wealthy, and I'm surprised Boss has allowed Kwan to live there considering it's in our territory, it's probably because Kim's with him. Anything to protect Kim. But then again, Yongsan-gu is a strange territory for us Eagles; we have really no use for it, all of our bases except Mapo are below the Han, maybe that's why Boss lets Kwan have it. After all, keep your friends close but your enemies closer. 

 

"I feel fucking sick," I state, Jimin turns to look at me, he's wearing a big blue fluffy jumper, and he looks increasingly soft with every second I look at him. But that doesn't help stop the growing anxiety in my stomach, my hands are disgustingly clammy, and I can feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead. In any other situation I would have been absolutely chilled, but now, I'm hotter than the fucking sun. We had to take a taxi, couldn't afford to have one of our cars marked and followed to the base.

 

Besides, I'm not Jeongguk or Sniper right now; I am just eighteen-year-old student Justin. Hoseok made me create a background story in case I am asked, so here it is, and I will repeat it like this every time: 'My name is Justin, my Father was transferred over to America before I was born, he works in engineering and my Mother found out she was pregnant with me two months after they moved out. I lived in Missouri until I was five when we moved back to Busan when my Father was fired and my Grandfather became terminally sick. They still live in Busan but I came to Seoul to follow my dreams of being a performer, I met Jimin just over a year ago when I started University, and we have been friends ever since.' It's classic, but I doubt anyone will look into it. Anyway half of it is true apart from the America bit and Jimin. That is my life story.  

 

In twenty minutes I could be staring into the eyes of the only boy that's made me feel something, and he will just look back blankly. Like I am a stranger, no, I am a stranger. Jeongguk doesn't really exist anymore, he's just a casing of an empty chasm of suffering, it's fucking depressing, but that man did that to me. He took me and stole my identity with him. Sniper. I am Sniper. 

 

"It's going to be fine Gguk, just try not to give anything away. You've never met him, you don't know him," Jimin speaks softly, not that the taxi driver is listening anyway. I can only nod as I watch the buildings flicker by, fuck, why am I so nervous? My leg starts bouncing up and down, is it really hot in here? It's really hot. We should open a window. "Gguk, calm down," Jimin gently presses his palm into my knee to stop it from moving, I instantly flinch away and then it's awkward again. Way to go Jeongguk, make him feel like a piece of shit, that's really going to help. 

 

"Sorry, I just-" what am I even going to say? Jimin lightly blinks at me; his soft blonde hair dusts against his eyelashes, those light brown orbs luminescent in the heavy fall of the sun into dusk. "I just, I can't have you touch me right now, I urm-" what the fuck am I saying? Jimin just continues to listen intently, a small nod of understanding but what is he getting from this? I don't even know what I am saying. "I just need space." 

 

"I understand, Don't worry, I know it isn't because of Eunha like the hyungs said, you don't have to explain, I get it." What does he get? I blink at him hard, trying to see if he will elaborate on that point but he doesn't instead he shuffles to face the front again, and I am left with a new pit of anxiety swarming my insides, does he know? No, he can't. He doesn't know anything. Fuck, Jeongguk calm down he doesn't know. 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

SEOUL - YONGSAN-GU // HANNAM-DONG // 19.00PM 

As soon as the taxi comes to a halt outside a large white apartment complex, I feel my heart seize up. Kim is in there. Just a seven-minute drive from where I live, he's so close, but yet, I've never felt so far away from him. This is it. This is really it. I am seeing him, in the flesh and not just memories for the first time in seven months. That's a long time to be without someone, someone you lo-. "You ready?" Jimin snaps me out of my anxious state, I've bitten my lip, and I can taste copper under my tongue, I gulp and suck in a heavy breath. This is really it. 

 

Why do I feel so dizzy? It must be the nerves, maybe the exhaustion or perhaps the fact that Taehyung is here. Or maybe it's a fucking cocktail of all of them combined. Jimin comes to a halt outside a separate apartment block from the rest, it isn't as big as the others, but I am guessing it only has a couple residents, one of which is Kim. "Let's sort you out first," Jimin chuckles before beginning to straighten my jacket and jumps onto his tiptoes to quickly fix my hair into the parting he created earlier. I just watch him in silence as a small smile curls his lips, his eyelashes fluttering as he takes me in with pride at his creation. With a small content hum and a little nod, he's grabbing my hand, which surprisingly doesn't make me want to flinch away and he's dragging me towards the entrance. 

 

I don't know what I was expecting, a couple hundred bodyguards or something, but I definitely was not expecting just someone at a desk clicking away at a computer like their life depends on it. Jimin stands in front of the desk; his hands placed daintily onto the wood top, I stand a little off taking in the place, it's like a hotel. Is this a hotel? My apartment doesn't have a front desk.

 

We stand there for what seems like forever before the person sitting behind even chooses to acknowledge our presence, giving a tired smile as she waits for Jimin to get to why he's stood there disrupting her busy typing schedule. "Kim Taehyung?" Jimin asks politely, and she quirks her head strangely, doesn't she know that name? Jimin glances at me in confusion; maybe we got the wrong apartment building?

 

"I'll take it from here!" A familiar voice rings, my head darts around to see the man that I have only ever imagined, the voice sounding so much more alive now that it isn't droaned out by the phone speaker. Kwan. He reminds me of Jimin in a sense, that charming smile, and light brown eyes but they are not the same. Kwan is taller, broader as well which I didn't expect. He's got short, thick black hair which I am guessing is Jimin's natural colour too, but he isn't caked in tattoos like the rest of his gang mates, no. He only has one tattoo of the typical tear under his left eye. That smile is really throwing me off. Kwan opens his arms in a blatant attempt for Jimin to hug him, but the younger doesn't.  

 

"Kwan," he says dimly, and the cousin's eyes twist into something darker, Jimin holds his ground though. He's going to fuck this up for us before we have even made it to Taehyung's room. But suddenly there is a broad smile painted on the younger's face, and he's instantly in the arms of his cousin, it's sickening to watch, knowing that this man is responsible for the torture and abuse of thousands of children over Asia, the murder of civilians and comrades, he's a perverted arsehole and he doesn't deserve that embrace from almost the epitome of an angel on earth. 

 

"How are you?" Kwan is asking with a wide smile, Jimin only nods, his head turning to me and then so is Kwan. "You must be Justin; it's lovely to meet you, Jimin has told me so much!" Now, this is an act, he's pretending, Jimin has only mentioned me twice, and both were to cover up his tracks. Now it makes sense, Kwan wouldn't usually be like this if they didn't have company, he'd probably be degrading his younger cousin as he has on multiple occasions on the phone.

 

We follow Kwan up four flights; thankfully we took the elevator, so I didn't have to worry about having a mental breakdown on the stairs in front of a gang leader. That still puzzles me, this man is the only threat to Seokjin and his Empire but yet he looks so very blah, like your stereotypical gang member, there isn't anything that makes you say, 'oh that's the man who  wants to rules over Seoul.' I think that's one of the main differences between Seokjin and this Adder, that and the blatant fact that Seokjin isn't a perverted mass murderer. It's silent apart from the odd comment from Jimin to lighten the air, this walk to his room is excruciatingly long, it isn't helping my nerves whatsoever. 

 

There it is, apartment 3012. Kwan doesn't bother knocking he just barges in like he owns the place, he does actually, he lives with Taehyung apparently. That isn't a pleasant thought; I just pray he isn't intimate with him. "Taehyung! They are here!" Kwan bellows through the spacious living area; I look around, it's far too big for just two people. It doesn't look lived in at all, and I know for a fact that's down to Taehyung, he cleans like he never wants to take another step inside the place in case he sheds a skin particle and has to redo the whole room. Namjoon hyung used to jokingly call him Monica whenever he got into a state about the cleanliness of the nest or his weekly rant to Seokjin about how untidy we all are, especially me. 

 

Jimin quickly gives my hand a reassuring squeeze, and I suddenly feel scarily relaxed, I know why though. I can sense him; I can feel his warmth and smell that familiar scent of vanilla mixed with strawberries. Taehyung. I can hear my heart palpitating in my ears, my breath slightly on the heavier side as I quickly search for any signs of Taehyung other than the smell of him. When I say the apartment looks like no one lives here I mean it, there isn't a single decoration or anything. I guess that's some peoples style? Minimalist? But it just looks spookily empty like they haven't lived here, like at all. 

 

Kwan wanders off somewhere leaving myself and Jimin, the older turns to look at me with this concerned expression. "Trap?" I whisper under my breath and Jimin looks around, that would explain a lot, like the woman not knowing Taehyung, the fact that the apartment is fucking empty, all we need now is some tarpaulin and we have ourselves a murder scene! But then that doesn't explain the scent of Taehyung; he is here. 

 

"I don't think so," Jimin whispers back before he's stood on his tiptoes again and trying to sort my hair out. "Why is it sticking up?" He asks exasperatedly as he starts patting my hair down and I chuckle at how seriously he's taking all of this. I teasingly tickle his armpits which subsequently leads to him losing his footing and crashing straight into my chest. I quickly steady him by putting my hands on his waist, and he laughs awkwardly along with me. "Sorry," he mumbles placing a hand on my chest, what is happening? The tension has grown thick between us; I find my eyes trained on those lips, why do I suddenly feel the urge to kiss him? 

 

The sound of a cough breaks us away, in fact, I practically throw Jimin aside as my eyes widen to extensive lengths. Has everything stopped moving? No, that's too fucking cliche. But why do I feel everything moving so slowly? My eyes are trained onto the soft smile and delicate fluttering eyelashes that I was once so accustomed to gazing at, the number of times I've been able to count them, have his silk lips close to mine.

 

He just stands there, maybe it's because everything is frozen and in reality, it's probably only been a couple seconds or so, but I watch him. His slightly waved long hair is grey, it makes the melanin of his skin so much more honey-like, he has these animated light blue contacts in as well, just like in the debut photos. Except those images didn't do him justice, he's honestly the most beautiful human I have ever laid eyes on, and that isn't me being biased...

 

I can feel my heart hurtling up through my chest to the point where I am pretty sure it'll explode. Just taking him in, my mind had twisted him somewhat, a feeble attempt to make me not feel as fiercely as I did, as vehemently as I do now. Time seems to speed back up again when his eyes meet with mine, I only just realised he was looking at Jimin, and now we are sharing eye contact for the first time in seven months, Fuck, who created such an angelic human? It isn't possible; he has no flaws, he's just, perfect.

 

Am I breathing? I don't think so. Do I even have a fucking pulse? Don't think so either. Shit, I've built this up, and still, it doesn't come anywhere close to how he's making me feel right now. 

 

"Hi! I'm Taehyung!" His voice is still as deep and heavenly as ever, Jimin is suddenly nudging me, and I register that Taehyung has his hand out for me to take. His boxy grin is broad, and I'm gone. I am fucking dead right now! I am not even over dramatic! You don't understand; you just don't! This is the guy I've fucking loved since I was fifteen, just stood there with his hand out like nothing. Fucking deceased mate, Jesus, if fifteen-year-old Jeongguk saw this Taehyung, I assure you he would have popped a boner in the first two seconds. This is fucking torture. "You must be Justin; it's so lovely to meet you!" That brought me to reality, Justin. Of course, he doesn't remember me. 

 

"Oh urr, yeah. It's nice to meet you too," I say too fucking awkwardly but he just giggles inwardly, lightly shaking my hand, his skin is still as warm and smooth as ever. Then it's over and he is moving over to Jimin, except he gives him a hug. What the fuck? I want a hug! Jimin smiles widely at the taller boy who's in his arms, and I give him a sharp look to which he rolls his eyes at. 

 

"Sorry, it's just Kwan said you'll be my new best friend and I wanted our first interaction to not be something I wouldn't do with a best friend." Bitch, what you do with your best friend isn't fucking hugging I can assure you that, now that I think of it this is fucking tragic. I was his best friend for years, and now I am just Justin. Fucking Justin. As long as he doesn't do what he did with me with Jimin, I should be okay. Besides I'm pretty sure both are bottoms so it wouldn't go anywhere, although Taehyung did say he was a switch once, but there was no fucking way I was ever going to take it up the ass. I mean that's kind of been taken away from me now but hey let's not dwell on that too long, not whilst Taehyung is actually here. 

 

"You're going to be my dancers right? How exciting! Should we go get something to eat? I'm starving!" Typical Taehyung with his over excessive amounts of energy when he's exhilarated. This boy could always go from being one of those little dogs that chase their tails for hours on end to being that typical old dog that gets annoyed if you breathe too loudly. Speaking of dogs, a strange black bundle of fluff comes bounding into the room startling me slightly.

 

"Tannie!" Taehyung squeals bending down to pick the weird entity up, I stare at it, a Pomeranian, that's what Taehyung always wanted. It has these very prominent ginger eyebrows, and okay, it's pretty fucking cute. "This is Yeontan, Kwan got him for me to keep me company when he's away, but now I have you!" Why is he acting like it's only Jimin here? What the fuck? I am fucking offended right now. 

 

"Tan will always be here of course, but now we can all hang out together, would you like that?" He asks Yeontan who just wriggles to get out of his hold. He places him back down on the floor, and the black fluffy bundle comes leaping over towards me. Taehyung giggles as the dog jumps up at my leg obviously wanting to be held. "He won't bite," Taehyung voices softly and I bend down to pick him up, he instantly relaxes in my hold which makes the older's cry softly.

 

"That's really cute, let me take a photo!" That's another trait he hasn't lost then, continuously taking photos. I still have his camera at the apartment, all his photo albums too which were organised into three folders, nature, self-portraits and me. He was always adding to my folder, in fact, he had to get a second album, and third and even started a fourth. I haven't looked in them since he left. It always felt like I was invading his privacy, looking through his eyes into how he sees the world just felt wrong when he wasn't there. 

 

"Ah so cute!" He coos before scooping his puppy back into his arms, it's then I notice Kwan stood in the doorway with his eyes narrowed onto my head. Taehyung notices him as well, and I don't miss the way his smile fades instantly. "Am I allowed to go out to eat with them hyung?" Taehyung queries, his voice completely altered from the excited tone he just had, it were just flat and filled with little to no emotion. Kwan steps forward still eyeing me before grabbing Taehyung by the waist. 

 

"Of course baby," what I see next makes my heart jolt, Taehyung wraps his arms around the older man's neck as he pulls him in by the waist. Kwan starts kissing the supple skin over the younger's throat as Taehyung looks away into the apartment somewhere, he doesn't look overjoyed about the touching, but he doesn't deny it either. I try not to watch, but my eyes are tortuously trained on their movements, how Kwan's hand sneaks lower until he's grabbing the younger's ass which in return makes Taehyung burrow his face in the older's neck.

 

I really want to snarl and get him away, Taehyung doesn't really seem to be reciprocating. I don't know if that makes me happy or feel absolutely fucking dreadful that he's in that situation at all. Maybe he's shy? No, Taehyung is never shy, wary yes, but shy isn't a thing Kim knows. "I'm sure my baby cousin here will look after you well," Kwan sneers with a smirk as he kisses Taehyung on the cheek. The younger just allows it with a hum, his eyes snap back onto mine, and I immediately turn away and over to Jimin who is to put it nicely, gobsmacked. 

 

"Jimin, should we go to that place we went the other day?" I question, and the older's eyes attach onto mine, his mouth agape and obviously completely flabbergasted at what we just witnessed. Kwan is still holding Taehyung close like a possession, I don't know if he's trying to be territorial or just be a straight up dickhead, either only the latter is working. Taehyung isn't his; he isn't even mine. He is his own human, and that should be respected. No one can own him except himself. 

 

"Where did you go?" Taehyung asks wriggling out of Kwan's hold and marching over to some cupboard which turns out to be a wardrobe; this can be a test. If he responds I know he still at least has some indication to his past life. 

 

"Burger King," I state confidently and I watch him seize up and turn slowly towards me, his eyes latching onto mine and this time I don't falter, does he remember? 

 

"I don't think I've ever had Burger King, what's it like?" He asks putting a long coat on, his hair swaying with his movements. Try again Jeongguk. 

 

"Good, the chicken burgers are class," he just hums, nope maybe he doesn't remember at all. Jimin stands there observing the two of us, and so does Kwan, his eyes still searing into my skull. I smile at him briefly before deciding to throw him off slightly, I take a few steps towards Jimin and quickly brush a few loose strands of blonde hair away from his eyes. He obviously gets what I am doing and places a hand on my chest, smiling softly as he looks down bashfully. "We go there all the time," I state, everyone obviously thinks I'm talking about myself and Jimin but nope, that was directed at Taehyung, not that he realises. 

 

"Let's go there then; I want to try this chicken burger!" He smiles widely, walking straight past Kwan who instantly latches his hand around the younger's wrist and yanks him into a kiss. It makes me uncomfortable to watch them make out, Kwan shoving his close to his chest in a suffocating hold. Taehyung mumbles something incoherent against the other's lips, pulling his head away. He just quickly pecks his lips once more before breaking into another smile, except it doesn't reach his eyes. To Kwan and Jimin that probably looks like a real smile, except I've spent more time with Kim than I have anyone else, I know every little trait, every fake smile, what every soft giggle means, the only thing I never got to know was his true feelings towards me. Now I will never know. 

 

"Jimin, a quick word," Kwan suddenly snaps as we head towards the door, I inspect them as the blonde haired boy shuffles towards his cousin before being dragged into another room. I stand there trying my absolute hardest not to be awkward around the other, but it's fucking hard when you have to pretend you don't know him. Even harder when for some sick reason his moans keep replaying in your mind like a fucking perverted record. 

 

"How old are you?" Taehyung suddenly blurts out, his head is tilted, and those grey eyes are blinking fast as he tries to suss me out. I shift uneasily under the gaze, is he going to start interrogating me? I hope not; I don't think I was entirely prepared for this. 

 

"Nineteen soon," I reply softly as I watch my feet, ghosting my foot back and forth across the flooring. A little chuckle startles me, and I look up to find the older smiling widely. I give him a puzzled expression, he leans back against the wall, his smile never fading and I feel myself getting lost in it. He's like a human milky way, it's dazzling and filled with these entirely random bursts of nebulae and lustrous stars, but yet it's dark and inhumane. I am lost inside the galaxy which is Kim Taehyung, have been since I first saw him and I definitely am now. 

 

"You're so shy, it's adorable," those words were not expected at all. "I get it; you've been forced to come along and hang out with some loner just because we are around the same age, I get it. You don't want to be here." I furrow my brows, his words are light but if this is the same Taehyung I knew I know there is so much more behind it than what he's making it out to be. 

 

"No that's not it at all! I want to be here. I wasn't forced, I chose to come," Taehyung's smile grows spirited, and that makes me smile tenderly as well. "Don't doubt your worth like that Taehyung."

 

"Call me Tae, we are going to be good friends Justin," he pushes himself off of the wall and steps closer to my body, so close I can smell his familiar fragrance that I grew to crave. He's intoxicating me rapidly, and soon I'll be drunk with no control. "So tell me, what's a chicken burger like?" That smile is playful, a glint behind those eyes as his long eyelashes dust against his skin. I voluntarily take a step back, more for my sake than anything else, I don't want to do something stupid because holy fuck, those lips looks so fucking enticing. Taehyung seems to pick up on this, "you and Jimin seem cosy," is it just me or did that sound a little passive aggressive? I must be delusional, Taehyung surely couldn't be jealous. 

 

"We are good friends, you seem cosy with Kwan," Taehyung scoffs at that, running his tongue over his teeth and I know I shouldn't have said that. "I mean, he seems to like you, not that that is hard to do, you're very attr-, not attractive like I think you're -, ah fuck, I'm digging a hole," I mumble, scratching the back of my neck at my stupidity at trying to backpedal. Taehyung smiles again, giggling as he looks down, it's genuine but nothing extraordinary. 

 

"Mine and Kwan's relationship is... complicated? I can't talk about it really with my contract and all, besides how do I know I can trust you with that sort of information?"

 

"How do I know I can trust you?"

 

"I asked first!"

 

"And?"

 

"And I am older, so you have to answer first!"

 

"Seriously? You're going to pull that one out on me? Fine, you can trust me because I say so. Who am I going to tell anyway? Jimin? No, you'll probably tell him before me, considering you're now besties."

 

"You almost sound jealous."

 

"And what if I am?" I quirk with a sly smile and Taehyung just stares back with narrowed eyes, he's really trying hard to work me out, and it just isn't going to happen. I'm not the easy young teenager I once was and reading or even getting to the first page is incredibly laborious to do. I put a front on, I have an excellent cover and maybe a blurb if you get close enough, but the contents are never truly shown. Jimin has only seen little snippets; parts are didn't want to show but its there. The old Taehyung has read the most, maybe almost the whole book out of my willingness alone, not that it matters anymore, he isn't getting any more than that. I might be under the persona of Justin but I still am very much Sniper, and my mask isn't coming off. 

 

"Hmm, we'll see about that Mr almost nineteen, you can be my second best friend, how does that sound?" Taehyung grins with a little giggle as he scrunches his nose up at me. It's strange because you would think he wouldn't be this talkative with people he's only just met, he was always a little standoffish around newbies, I just hope he isn't like this because he's lonely. I just smile back, looking away slightly to see Jimin heading towards us with a small frown. I decide now isn't the right time to question what Kwan wanted to speak to him about, he's a Sasin now, he has to report it back to Boss anyway. 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

SEOUL - JUNG-GU // 19.30PM

It's startling how similar Taehyung and Jimin are in a way; they have been acting like best friends since we left the house and I would be dishonest if I said I wasn't a little envious. They strolled off ahead when we reached the city centre where the closest Burger King is, I've been ditched. I take this as an opportunity to call Yoongi and give him the update he drilled into my head that I had to do as soon as we were alone. I quickly glance to where the two older boys are, their arms looped together whilst laughing. Seriously they have only known each other half an hour? Taehyung is already calling him his soulmate which did actually piss me off. Why is this Taehyung so open to feelings and emotions but yet the one I was with had fucking ten foot barricades and the fucking Marianas trench between us that I had to swim and climb over before I could even get a hint into how he felt? 

 

'How's it going?'

 

'About as good as expected met Kwan, he's a dick.'

 

'We already knew that kid, what about Kim? How is he?'

 

'Doesn't show any signs of recognizing me, he's weird hyung; he's changed.'

 

'How so?'

 

'He's, I don't know, it's just different. He must be lonely; he's clung onto Park the whole time.'

 

'You do that too kid, doesn't make you lonely.'

 

'I guess. He has a dog now. Yeontan, strange looking fluff ball.' 

 

'Oh right, any inkling into how Kwan treats him?'

 

'Oh yeah, they are definitely fucking.'

 

'Fuck, how'd you know?'

 

'Maybe because he made sure to show us that he owns Kim. Put on a little parade, Kim didn't seem that into it though, going off past experiences.'

 

'Okay, too much information there, kid, where are you anyway?'

 

'Heading into Burger King, he doesn't even remember coming here all the time.'

 

'I'd want to forget their food too if I could, disgusting.'

 

'It's not! Maybe not as good as lamb skewers but it's good!'

 

'How's Park handling it?'

 

'Alright, I guess? Kwan took him away to talk earlier; I'll find out what that was about later.'

 

'Alright, good job kid. I know this must be hard.'

 

'It's fucking painful hyung; it's all gone.'

 

'We don't know that Kim might be playing along.'

 

'I doubt it; he seems pretty set on having been an idol since he was fourteen.' 

 

'Namjoon said try hinting at things that could be memorable to Kim. Obviously Burger King didn't work but maybe mention subjects you used to talk about a lot? Anything, I don't know, kid.'

 

'Fine, I'll ask him some stuff tonight, but I don't want to overpower it, to him we are just strangers.' 

 

'I don't think you two would ever be classed as strangers Jeongguk.' 

 

 "Justin!" Taehyung suddenly calls, and I instantly hang the phone up mumbling a quick gotta go, as the boy strolls over, the lights of the street placed with that beautiful smile throws me off slightly, and I have to double take trying to remember how to breathe. "Who were you talking to?" He asks as soon as he is close enough, I quirk an eyebrow in a playful manner. "Not that I care, it's just some of us want to eat, and you're taking too long," wow, that was so smooth. 

 

"Just talking to my hyung, you could have gone in without me, you know what I am ordering." Taehyung just hums looking over my shoulder before his eyes snap onto mine intently. 

 

"What's his name?" He asks quietly, whenever he asks me questions like these I don't know if to answer truthfully or to make something up. 

 

"D Boy," I say trying not to burst into laughter as his eyes widen, he repeats the name, and I can't help but laugh at it. "I'm joking; no his name is Min."

 

"Min?" He tilts his head, I just nod. "Is that a surname?" I nod again, "what's his first name?" This can go two ways, one, I tell him Yoongi's name and see if he remembers or not. Or two, I make some bullshit name up and continue getting nowhere with him. "Wait why do you call him D Boy? Is he your special friend? Does Jimin know of this mystery D Boy?" I snort at that, his eyes have a cheeky glint, and it reminds me of all the times he used to tease me along with Yoongi. 

 

"I don't think you do want to know what he is to me Tae; you'll be shocked." Probably shouldn't have said that I've perked his interest in an answer now. 

 

"Yeah, you're right. I don't want to know. I was just joking by the way," with that he turns on his heels and cheerfully walks back over to where Jimin was standing and engulfs him in an embrace. This is such a weird fucking night; I have no idea what's happening anymore. 

 

 Reluctantly, I make my way towards the two younger boys who seem immersed in some conversation; they always stand so close; barely talking over a whisper. Jimin is the first to notice I am back and pulls away from Taehyung rapidly with a fixed little curve of his plump lips. I'm going to beat his ass later for being best friends with Kim already. Okay, I'll admit it, I am fucking jealous! Is that what you wanted to hear? I'm jealous. But can you blame me really? I've craved this moment for almost a year, and now Jimin is getting the best parts. 

 

He reaches out his hand to take mine, and I just blatantly stare at it with a blank expression, "oh my god! He's so dramatic!" Taehyung squeals with a cackle, I flicker the same glance at him as I gave Jimin's hand and his eyes widen. "Just make out already!" Taehyung cheerfully speaks and pushes me into Jimin forcefully. To stop myself falling I grab onto Jimin's waist again. Fuck, why is this happening again? I can faintly hear Taehyung chanting in the background, did I hear correctly? He wants me to kiss Jimin? I was so caught up in my little-confused thoughts that I didn't notice Jimin writhing about in my probably tight hold; he seems anxious about the proximity, so I quickly shove him away. 

 

"What? Why didn't you kiss him?" Taehyung pouts in the anticlimax of his cheers, both myself and Jimin don't answer, it's too complicated for a simple answer to tell Kim. It's at this moment I realise Taehyung thinks we are together, he probably thinks I am jealous because he is getting close to Jimin and it not being Jimin getting close to him. Fuck, what a mess. "I think you should kiss your boyfriend Justin, he looks sad." My eyes were trained on the floor, and I look up to see a blonde haired boy with a specific glum expression, this is the second time I've pushed him away like that. 

 

My gaze flows over to Taehyung who is now side hugging Jimin in comfort, why is everything processing so slow? I just realised he said boyfriend. "Jimin isn't my boyfriend," I snap, okay maybe that came out a little harsh. "We are friends," I mumble, I want to leave now, this is fucking torture.

 

My eyes focus on Jimin, he really does look hurt, and I try to find what could have possibly lead to him looking so depleted, did I lead him on? Fuck, I did. Don't get me wrong, what I have with Jimin is for sure more than friends but do I really want it to progress? Not really. I mean we've never done anything other than being pulled into sexual tension, but neither of us has ever acted on it. I thought that was because Jimin didn't want it either, now I am not so sure. Taehyung is talking, I can see his mouth racing, and I think he's ranting at me. I can't hear anything because my sight is fixed onto those rose-coloured lips that are sins in disguise. 

 

For the first time I act on impulse, I feel my feet moving forward and the distance between myself and him inching smaller until I have him in my clasp. His eyes are circular staring back at me as I reach my hands up to cup his face, one of his smaller ones placed on top of mine. It all happens so fast, my eyes closing as my lips mould into his, holy shit, I am actually kissing him.

 

The moment he reciprocates my mind goes into a frenzy, our lips sweetly moving in a slow rhythm, nothing rushed, but my head is spinning. It's heaven, I get lost in it, in his taste, in how close our bodies are, and I can feel his heart pounding in his small frame. It's adorable.  

 

Something instantaneously switches in my mind, and I begin to tremble, his hand gripping tighter onto mine, and I need to get away. He's got me. He's on me again. He's going to take me. I shove Jimin away, and the latter doesn't even have time to smile before I've bolted down the street. I can hear Taehyung calling out but I can't. I feel tears threatening to fall but I hold them back with all the strength I have left.

 

I turn down an empty street and crumble against the wall, collapsing to the floor as my body shakes profusely. Why am I letting this get me? Not only am I hurting myself now but also Jimin. Why the fuck did I kiss him? I'm such a fucking idiot! I've just made all of this so much harder. The most terrible part of it was, for a moment I wanted to believe I was kissing Taehyung and not Jimin, but Taehyung is too out of reach, Jimin is right there. I am a fucking dick! 

 

"Justin?" A small voice calls out, and I snap my head up to see a shadowed figure of a man. I try to sneakily wipe my eyes, "why are you crying?" He asks softly as he bends down and touches my arm, I push it away agonizingly, I don't think I'll ever be able to have people touching me again. "I-I'm sorry, I won't touch you okay?" I can only feebly nod, I just want to cower and hide from the world, I am so embarrassed. This isn't me. I don't think I've ever felt this repulsed with myself, it's sad really when you think about it. One man, a man I don't even know, has had the ability through an act of selfishness, turned my world upside down and destroyed everything I ever built for myself. It's destroying my entire being. 

 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Taehyung asks plopping himself on the floor opposite me, I can't look him in the face, and instead, my eyes are trained on my hands. Hands that are shaking horrendously, anxiety is swarming my soul, I really just want to throw up. "Jimin told me you're not together, I didn't think you'd actually kiss him, I'm sorry I was just messing around." His voice sounds oddly panicked like he thinks he's the reason I ran off, he would never be the reason for me to run away. 

 

"I know," I croak out, come on Jeongguk, just get a fucking sentence out. "I meant it when I said we are just friends; there has always been something there though, I've just never taken it further." My eyes are still fixated on my hands; I don't want to see the face of disgust which must be on the other's face. 

 

"Why did you run?" Such a simple question with an impossible answer, I can't tell him. Out of everyone I would probably tell Taehyung, I mean if say it had happened, and he had never been taken away from me I would have told him straight away, I wouldn't have been able to keep a disgusting secret like that from him but now, now I have so many secrets that it would be impossible to tell him all of them, especially this one.

 

My cloak keeps slipping off, and the mask seems to keep coming undone, but I will hold my ground, I will keep what little strength I have. I don't want to tell him. I won't tell him. Not because he would judge me like I think the other gang members would but because I am scared of what he would do. He wouldn't be able to help me now. We live two very different lives; I'll deal with it on my own. 

 

"I can't tell you," I mutter eliciting a loud sigh from the older, "is Jimin okay?" 

 

"He's fine, he went to order us food," I just nod slightly, "can you look at me?" Nope, not going to happen. "I know we don't know each other well yet Justin, but I can see something is hurting you and I want to help. Can you let me help you?" Why has his voice got to be so genuine? Why can't he be fake and have intentions that aren't making this so fucking hard for me?

 

"This whole situation is a bit of a mess I think," he laughs slightly, "if you don't want to tell me maybe you should tell Jimin? I mean he mentioned just now that he's noticed you're acting different, or maybe talk to your other hyung?" 

 

"I can't talk to anyone Taehyung; you don't understand."

 

"Then make me understand Justin, I'm here to help, friend or not."

 

"Help me by dropping the fucking subject; I don't want to talk about it!" I snap loudly, my eyes hitching onto his and I can mentally see him distancing himself, way to go Jeongguk. Fucking idiot. 

 

"Justin-"

 

"No! Please, just fucking stop! Enjoy your night Taehyung, I'm going home," with that I stand, my legs faltering suddenly under my weight but I claw my way against the wall and out into the busy street of Seoul. I need to leave; I just need to get out of here. My eyes meet with Jimin's as he walks over to where I just was, he looks confused at my sudden storming away. "Enjoy your night Jimin, I'll see you later." 

 

"Jeo- Justin!" Jimin calls out, and I just put my hand up to stop him continuing, I can't be here. This isn't the right place for me; I don't know what I thought was going to happen tonight, not this that's for sure. I feel annoyed at myself, no more than annoyed, I am fucking aggravated with myself for pushing people away just because of one act. It shouldn't even bother me that much, I mean it was just sex. Sex I didn't want but sex none the less. I keep trying to tell myself I enjoyed it to make the burn inside me go away, but it doesn't ever reach my heart. I know I was sexually abused, but there is no point in defining what happened when all I have to do is move on from it. 

 

Just move on and live your life. Stay silent, and nothing will ever hurt you. 

 

 

 


 

 

SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 21.12PM

 How did my life come to this? It's quite comedic really, a fatalistic jest from the gods or something. If this was a tragedy, I guess this would be my dramatic flaw that would end with my demise. Like Lear and his hubris, I have my mask; both will end with our inescapable madness.

 

My bedroom, a place that once brought me all the comfort in the world is now an icy cave of melancholy. I didn't bother turning on any lights when I arrived back at the apartment; the only noise was that of a clock ticking away mindlessly as the seconds turn to minutes. I just want the pain to go, is that really too much to ask for? I'd take anything over this. Anything. 

 

I'm trying to remember what the old Jeongguk would do, he seems to be a distant memory now, but I want him to return. I don't want to be this sad loser who can't even be touched on the hand without freaking out. I don't want that at all. I've been lying down on my bed, allowing the darkness to swarm my frame, my eyes zoning in and out, creating shapes within the blackness. I know I am just feeding it, making it grow and nurturing every breath it takes but what else can I do? Talk to someone? No, I don't want to humiliate myself. 

 

My thoughts flicker to what Eunha gave me the other day, I put it aside in my bedroom and forgot about it. There isn't any way I am getting any sleep, so I might as well get fucked up. I stagger to my feet, stumbling into the kitchen and grabbing two bottles of Soju I had left over. I tumble back into my room after reaching around in the darkness for my bedroom door. I take a long sip from the first bottle, allowing the familiar taste to drown my taste-buds, there's no point beating around the bush, I am here to get drunk. 

 

Within no time at all I have finished the first bottle, I just want to lose myself just for a little while. I don't feel it kicking in, and it's exacerbating me, I can still feel everything I want to forget. I sit there, rocking back and forth trying to feel my body loosening and becoming freer but it just isn't working. With a loud, irritated sigh, I launch myself off the bed and over to my jacket. If there is one thing that will make me feel better, it's this. I do feel my eyes starting to lose focus, and I know I'll have to do this quickly before the Soju does finally hit me. 

 

I ruffle around in my jacket pockets until I find the little baggy, a curved smile slanted on my face as I look down at the white contents. I quickly twist and head to my desk, shoving the objects aside with a loud clunk, pretty sure something broke, but I don't really give a fuck. Carelessly, I pour out a good amount of the cocaine, I lick my lips already crazing the buzz this will provide me alongside the alcohol, I'm going to be flying soon. 

 

I clumsily push it into a line and ardently snorting it up into my nose and flinging my head back in fervent pleasure. Fuck, this stuff is magical.  I snap my head back so far that my body gives way and I collapse blindly onto the hard floor. My body too numb to feel a thing I just lie there allowing the alcohol and the anticipation of the stardust to take effect. I can hear myself laughing, it's humourless but a chuckle none the less. I groan sitting up and reaching for the second bottle; I'm not drunk enough. I need to black out, that's what I want. 

 

22.07PM 

I can't tell if my phone is ringing or if that's my imagination, all I know is that I am floating in an ocean, the waves cascading over my weightless body. I'm humming; I know that too. Without the sexual desire, I usually integrate with taking cocaine, I feel a lot more relaxed, there isn't any adrenaline just a slow fizz of tranquillity. I feel at peace, truly and I know this has become something more than I ever wished. I finished both bottles and took one more line before I collapsed onto my bedroom floor. I don't know what I am singing, or even if I really am and it's just in my mind. 

 

I lazily reach out to the darkness that encompasses my frame, a silky like texture to the air, my hand movement creating ripples within the black surroundings. Is this what freedom feels like? To be wholly thought free, to have just your body and the obscurity of nothing intertwined into one being? Maybe not for some, but for me, at this moment, I am unconfined into the boxes I have been shoved into. I am no one; I have no name, I have no face. I am just me with no limitations or judgment. I am an individual floating in the sea of intoxication, and I am in love.

 

My eyelids begin to feel heavy, I want to sleep, in my new found freedom it's all I want. To not have him dragging me under, to suffocate on the inability to breathe, to have him clawing at my skin. No, I won't have that, not now. I want to sleep and to sleep lucidly, to control my own fate. He can't control me here, not when I am no one in particular but everyone at the same time. I am just an entity in this world, a faceless being. I like that thought. I want to keep that, hold it tight and never let that go. If I let this go then what do I have left?

 

"Jeongguk?" an obscure voice beckons, I'm too deep into my intoxicated state to reply. I can feel someone shaking my body rapidly, the voice yelling but yet it still sounds so suppressed. Maybe I drowned? Water is entrapping me in a state of inability to communicate or even open my eyes. I know it's Jimin,  I would know that voice anywhere. Why is he shaking me? I'm just sleeping.

 

"Jeongguk! Jeongguk, no! No, please Jeongguk! Wake up!" I am sleeping, right? Why can't I feel my chest going up and down? Or my heart? Where is my heartbeat? I must have one right? I mean I am still consciously aware. 

 

"Jeongguk?" Another voice calls, I no longer want to sleep. Wake me up. I try my push myself out of the darkness, but my body and mind are both scattered around the blackness, it's a starry night in my head. My own turbulent quest to find myself, I found it, and now I want to return. Taehyung is here; I don't want him to see me like this. Fuck, why is Taehyung here? He can't be here.

 

My eyes snap open, full and I jolt upright and search the now lit room for signs of the older. But I am only faced with Jimin. 

 

"You fucking idiot!" Jimin screams, tears running down his cheeks as he slaps my chest hard. "How could you? Jeongguk! Don't fucking do that again!" I can't reply, I am far too drunk for that. Instead I dimly gaze back at the older blonde haired boy trying to express my apology. He wipes his eyes, sniffling slightly before soaring into my chest, squeezing me tight in a restraining embrace. "Don't do that, please Jeongguk, don't." I don't know what he thinks I tried to do, whatever it is I can't do much about it now. 

 

That's how we fall asleep. Jimin carefully placed me on my bed and refused to leave me alone for another second and instead clambered into bed beside me. His head burrowed into the crevice of my neck, his hands tightly wrapped around my shirt and I allow myself to fall into a different type of serenity. One of companionship, he's there for me. I have a friend, and I think I took that for granted. 

 

 


 

 

 

SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 24 AUGUST // 17.59PM

 "I don't really know what to say," a gruff voice awakens me, the thick headache that has grown is agonizing, but I am more concerned with the conversation happening in the other room. "Why didn't you call me last night when it happened?" That's Yoongi hyung, why is he here? Has something happened? The door is only slightly ajar, and I can see two figures stood there, one in black and the other in a baby blue jumper, that is obviously Jimin. 

 

"I was scared; you should have seen him hyung. I thought he was dead, I honestly thought he had left me, and I just couldn't cope, he's not okay hyung. I don't know what it is, but he's not." Oh, they are talking about me. Dead? I didn't almost die; it was just a light buzz. I do feel bad but not to the extent where I wouldn't do it again, that was the happiest I have been in months. "Did you know he does drugs?"

 

"No. He told me he stopped," ah shit; this isn't going to end well. Hyung has always been so strict with me when it comes to my health, and now Jimin is snitching on me. "What drugs?"

 

"Cocaine, he told me he only does it occasionally, but he has a whole bag full, he took a lot last night I think." 

 

"Fucking idiot. Any idea why he's acting up?"

 

"No, I think I have an idea, but I don't want to say it in case I am wrong. All I know is that he hates being touched now, I'm worried about him hyung. He isn't the same Jeongguk I knew a month ago." 

 

"Do you reckon it has anything to do with Kim?"

 

"He told me he was nervous for Kim, but I don't believe that anymore, it's deeper than that."

 

"Do you think you could get him to talk?"

 

"No."

 

"We need someone to talk to him; Boss won't be happy to find out what he's doing."

 

"I know who can talk to him."

 

 


 

 

"Taehyung!" I call out with a massive smile, the older turns towards my direction before bursting into a smile himself. He runs over, instantly embracing me and I giggle at the affection. "I've missed you," I mumble against his hair, the warmth of his light breaths tickle my skin but having him close brings too much comfort to push him away. 

 

"Jeongguk, I was gone for two days," the older chuckles, pulling away from the embrace and instead placing his hands on my shoulders. I allow him to just delicately take in my features as I do the same. He went back to Daegu for a quick trip to see his Grandmother, the only person left in his family that wasn't abusive or neglectful. "She said she wishes to meet you one day, she wants to know all about the boy that his grandson never stops talking about," he presses his thumb against my bottom lip, a genuine smile playing on his own. I place my own hands on his waist, bringing him back in. 

 

"I'm never letting you go again," I murmur pulling him even closer so that our chests are pressed together. He giggles once more moving his hands to cup my face, I love when he goes all tender like this, it mostly happens when he's been away awhile. 

 

"I went away for two days, you big baby!" He coos pinching my cheeks slightly, and I burst into a large toothy smile, crinkling my nose up at him and his constant teasing. "But I missed you too, more than you'll probably ever know."  With that I don't waste any more time, I close the distance and intertwine one of my hands with his own, the other lacing itself into his brown silky hair. Everything about him is nirvana, pure and sweet. Everything else evaporates and just becomes the two of us whenever he allows me to love him openly, to show the extent of my adoration. 

 

Our lips move like a well-rehearsed dance, so accustomed to being locked together. The natural velvet texture of his lips only brings me to crave him more, the taste of milk and honey, so divine and oh so pleasurable. The kiss soon becomes heated, a supple bite of his bottom lip and a sharp grin as he moans against the feeling of my hand yanking carefully at his long locks. I've missed this, it's only been two days, but that is torture when you're not with the one you believe to be the one. He is my one, the only one I'll ever want. He has all of me. 

 

I'd give him anything and everything if he asked me to. 

 

 

 


 

 

08.01AM

'Justin?' 

 

'Hi?'

 

'Sorry, it's Tae.'

 

'I know.'

 

'Oh, okay.'

 

'I don't mean to sound rude but why have you called me?'

 

'I urr, I wanted to talk to you.'

 

'Why? Did Jimin set you up to do this?'

 

'No? I just wanted to talk to you. I'm really nervous, and I don't know, I thought you could comfort me. I'm sorry, I won't call again.'

 

'No, it's okay. Don't apologise Tae; I've just got a bad headache, what's up?'

 

' A headache? Are you okay?'

 

'Yeah fine. Stop ignoring my question.'

 

'It's just I've worked so hard for this debut, and I am just scared people won't accept me. What if they only like me for my looks? My music has become everything to me Justin and I'm scared people will judge it.'

 

'There will always people who judge you, Tae.'

 

'Oh.'

 

'It's the people who love you that will make those people's views seem so small. Have faith in yourself; I know your voice is beautiful, just have courage.'

 

'How do you know my voice is beautiful?'

 

'I don't? I mean, I've never heard you sing, but if it's anything like your normal voice, then I know it's something beautiful.'

 

'Thanks, no ones ever said something like that to me before.'

 

'Well they should, you're a beautiful human Tae, you have to have strength.'

 

'Will you come to see me today? After my debut, I mean, I want to see you.'

 

'I'll have to check with Jimi-'

 

'No, not with Jimin, just you. I want to see you.'

 

'Oh.'

 

'Sorry was that too much?'

 

'No, no. I just wasn't expecting that.'

 

'Listen, Kwan is out tonight, some business deal thing so come round? He'll be gone all night.'

 

'You want me to come to your apartment?'

 

'Yeah, unless you want to go get Burger King again?'

 

'Did you like it?'

 

'Let's just say the chicken burger was class. So will you come?'

 

'I mean I guess, hyung is pretty annoyed at me so I'll have to ask.'

 

'Justin, you're eighteen you can do things without your hyung's permission.'

 

'Yeah, I think if you knew what I did then you wouldn't be saying that.'

 

'What did you do?'

 

'I can't say.'

 

'Urgh, you're such a tease. Tell me tonight yeah?'

 

'Maybe, depends on how well your debut goes.'

 

'Don't say that! Now I'm nervous again!'

 

'I'm joking; you're going to so amazing, Tae, your voice is soulful, believe in yourself.' 

 

'Justin?'

 

'Yeah?'

 

'Why does it feel like I know you?' 

 

'What do you mean?'

 

'I don't know... don't worry. Haha, I'm just being silly.'

 

'...Okay.'

 

'I'll see you tonight, okay?'

 

'Yeah, good luck, Tae, you'll be amazing.'

 

'Goodbye Gguk.'

 

'...Gguk?'

 

'Aish, sorry. Justin. Your name is Justin.'

 

'Where did you get Gguk from?'

 

'Sorry, I don't know really, I guess it's some slang word I made up, and it's just always been there. I don't know what it means though.'

 

'Oh okay. Goodbye Gguk.'

 

'…Goodbye, Justin.'

 

 

 

Chapter Text

 

08.24AM

"Hey, Jeonggukkie. How are you feeling?" Jimin comes padding into my bedroom, Hyung and him for some reason have quarantined me, not that I am sick. To be honest, I think it's so they can control me easier, again it not like I'm raging with energy to even move. My head fucking pounds, I threw up the contents of my stomach about an hour ago and oh boy, if Taehyung saw what a mess his beloved rug in the living room looks like.

 

Yoongi hyung the entire time he cleaned it up kept gagging, him and Jimin make an excellent fucking pairing, it isn't that bad, and he has dealt with so much worse. The small smile present on Jimin's lips is pissing me off, I know he's trying to be nice and is currently acting like he's walking on eggshells around me, but I'm not a fucking child. I just have a hangover, and a slight come down from the cocaine but nothing I cannot handle. 

 

"Jimin, I have a hangover, not the flu," I bluntly mumble, picking at the sheets the older placed over me, he literally fucking tucked me into bed. Jimin purses his lips, his eyes narrowing in on my face, did I say something wrong? The silence spawns the tension until it is so thick that I squirm within the blankness.

 

"What's wrong?" I ask harmlessly, the blonde boy's eyes dart onto mine, oh fuck. I have never seen a face like it, not on Park anyway. His eyes are hard and filled with this unknown anger, his lips snarling, his top lip twitching in a fury, those eyebrows furrowed and he shoots to his feet. 

 

"SOMETHING WRONG? IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF? SOMETHING FUCKING WRONG?" His words echo over my body and through the silence like a shrill scream, he's never raised his voice like that to me ever. In fact, I don't think he's ever honestly been this livid with someone. What did I do? His tone really doesn't help my head, and I wince trying to stop the consistent ringing out of my ears.

 

"JEONGGUK WHAT THE FUCK?" There are hot tears running down his face now, and I really don't know what to do. Do I comfort him? Tell him its okay? It isn't okay, not really. 

 

"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S WRONG, OKAY? YOU'VE BEEN ACTING COLD TOWARDS ME FOR DAYS, MAKING ME FEEL LIKE SHIT WHENEVER I TRY BEING CLOSE TO YOU. I'VE BEEN TRYING, I'VE TRIED TO HELP YOU BUT STILL I FEEL YOU CLOSING OFF TO ME! YOU'RE PUSHING US ALL AWAY JEONGGUK AND FOR WHAT? FOR A WHORE AND COCAINE! DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU DID LAST NIGHT? DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE EFFECTS OF TAKING COCAINE AND ALCOHOL TOGETHER? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT DOES TO YOUR BODY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT JEONGGUK? W-why would you want to leave us, leave me like that?" His face turns from one of fury into one of desperation and sadness; he does care about me, doesn't he? The tears pour down his cheeks as he tries to suppress them, wiping violently at his eyes. Little sharp sniffles elicited and small whimpers from those plush lips. I don't know what to do.

 

"I thought you had died Jeongguk; I thought you had killed yourself." He bursts into tears again, and I don't think before I am pulling him down onto me, his body straddling my hips as he burrows his face deep into my neck. Suicide? He thought I attempted suicide? No, no. I would never do that. His hot tears trickle down my neck before being absorbed by the fabric of my tee. My hands rub comforting circles into his soft skin under his jumper.

 

The tears soon lessen and become sniffles. Jimin lifts his head, eyes attaching onto mine, those light brown eyes speaking so many words to me that I feel myself tearing up just looking at him. There is so much anguish in those brown pools, a betrayal mixed with a strange sense of mourning. "Please tell me Jeongguk, I want to help you," his voice breaks and a set of tears fall again, I quickly thumb under his eyes to wipe them away, he leans into the touch, closing those eyes to reveal the dainty curled eyelashes are ghosting his soft pale skin. He is beautiful, even when riddled with sadness, he is beautiful. 

 

I don't think when I press my lips against his; the even stranger part is that Jimin is reciprocating instantly. It's different to last time, I want to show Jimin, tell  him everything, and I am praying that through this kiss I might just. If he listens, he should know. Know that I would never leave him like that. To know that although I no longer want anything to do with this world, I wouldn't stop my heart because of the pain. Jimin through this soft caress of our lips is showing me that within the blackness there is a light, a light that makes even the broken seeds bloom into a flower if given a chance, that proves life doesn't come without a little bit of darkness. 

 

I allow myself to fall into his touch, the sweet flavour of his mouth entrapping mine, he's different but yet I feel so at home. I cup his face, deepening the kiss, sliding my tongue into the cavern of his mouth, it shouldn't feel this good. Why am I doing this? Why do I feel so drawn to this boy? I don't understand it at all, but right now, at this moment, all I know is that I want him.

 

Before I know it, Jimin is pulling away, his tears now just dried stains on his red cheeks, his lips swollen and flushed. He smiles bashfully, looking away before burrowing his head back into my neck. I can't help but chuckle inwardly at the cuteness of the flushed older boy, my hands wrapping around his waist as I hold him close to my chest. 

 

"Who really gave you those love bites, Jeongguk?" Jimin asks carefully tracing over the purple bruises on my neck; I don't flinch. I no longer want to cower under the thought of him. I don't reply and instead start kissing along Jimin's jaw, his head lifting slightly as a breathless moan parting from his lips. His hands wrapped around my neck, fingers entwined with my hair as he yanks it slightly when I start tonguing at the supple skin of his throat. "Jeongguk," he whispers, but I don't stop. I continue to leave my own marks on the sweet skin of Park Jimin, not to mark my property like some but to prove that I do care for him. That I wouldn't leave.

 

My growing arousal is unexpected; maybe it's the breathless moans? Or the way his body is compliant with my own? Maybe it's his soft whimpers of pleasure? Or perhaps it's the fact that it's Park Jimin. The boy I brought into this cruel and dark world, a forbidden relationship that for some reason always seemed inevitable. It seems right like this is where we belong. In each other's arms, my lips scattering kisses all over his neck and face and the way his hands gently caress my chest from under the tee. This is natural. This is everything I need right now. 

 

"Jeongguk, I know you don't want me," Jimin breathes out, his lips parted and panting at the growing sexual tension. I eye him hard; he's so beautiful. 

 

"I do Jimin, I really do," I trap him back into a kiss, it's rougher than the ones before, with darker intentions. 

 

"No, you don't want me truly," he replies as my hands make their slow endeavour down to the sumptuous skin of his ass. He jolts forward faintly, adding unneeded friction to my crotch making me groan. Fuck. "You want Taehyung," I stop what I am doing, I peer into his eyes, and they show a softness, an understanding that my heart belongs to someone else, but right now I do really want him. It's more than a lustful longing; I need him.

 

I need him for my selfish reasoning that I am more than what happened; I still am the only one to own my body and my actions. Jimin will be the catalyst to prove I can and will still allow myself to be with others. Apart from that, Jimin really is becoming irresistible, an irritating itch that I can't reach of telling me that there is something there you need to explore. This is proof enough. 

 

"I do want him," I start and Jimin nods, shifting his weight on my lap innocently but in return causes so much sin on my part. I suck in a breath, trying to focus on his eyes and not the growing heat between my thighs that he has unknowingly awoken. Damn you, Park Jimin. "But I also want you; we need to do this Jimin. We both feel it, I always have. You're so fucking compelling; I really fucking want you." 

 

"Really?" Jimin asks sheepishly, I smile adoringly at the older boy, cupping his chubby cheeks in my palms, squishing them slightly, so his plump lips pout. His own hands are reaching up to endearingly touching mine. I nod, "I want you too," he shyly speaks, and the only way I can think to answer is by indulging myself once more on the sweet taste of his mouth. It should be weird; this is so strange but yet I feel like this contact isn't new. I feel like the sensation of Jimin on me isn't at all obscure or abnormal, he's meant to be there. 

 

A flash of the man's touch comes to my mind, I freeze slightly in the kiss, Jimin instantly picking up on my sudden inability to reciprocate. "It's okay, you're okay," the love in his voice is so contrasting to the words of the other, I'm okay. I mentally barricade those thoughts into the back of my mind, I want Jimin right now, and nothing is going to stop me. I won't let him hurt me, not when Jimin is here to serve as solace. 

 

Usually, I am commanding and so self-assured when being intimate, I never allow myself to be controlled by others, even with Kim I just couldn't get past the idea of not being dominant. Only a couple times did I accept him to in some ways control what was happening to me. But there is just something about Jimin being so pliant that makes me not want to completely rule over him, to allow it to be a mutual bond of both being on the same tier.

 

The kissing is heated, sloppy but not unpleasant as we both become too drawn into each other's bodies to think too much about what is truly happening. Jimin is still firmly placed in my lap, he's been good and hasn't tortured my member too much through unnecessary moving. The swelling is becoming unbearable, and soon I will need to get some release, but I am just not sure we are ready for that, I mean this hasn't ever progressed this far. What if I hurt him? 

 

Those are my thoughts until Jimin sinfully rolls his hips into my crotch, my eyes snap wide and he giggles, he knows what he is fucking doing. "Can you hurry up?" He asks, the innocence seems to have vanished entirely and has been replaced with a sultry presence, exuding confidence and this undeniable eroticism, I have never seen someone like this.

 

Jimin rolls into me again, and I groan out, clasping my hands on his hips to stop him, he just leans forward and bites my lip, hard but not enough to break the skin. "I won't stop until you do," he breathes out hotly, his words seeping into my sweat coated skin, fuck, he is really fucking attractive like this. 

 

He does it once more, and something cracks inside me, with one massive swoop I push Jimin down onto the bed, he giggles seductively as I look down at him. Fuck. He wraps his legs around my hips and pulls my body onto his, the growing friction of our hardening members against one another is fucking torture.

 

"Please?" I use my strength to hover just above him, bringing him into a kiss once more, slow and meaningful, this is me telling him that I won't hurt him, that I care for him and whatever happens after this I promise I'll be there, I won't run. This is me saying I will fight it. 

 

Jimin arches his back, the sight of him lying under me, writhing and needy for so much more pulls me over the edge. "Strip," I direct as I climb off the bed, he watches me as I walk out of the bedroom. "They better be off when I come back," I speak loudly, fucking hell he's made me so hard. I refuse to touch it; I want this to be about Jimin, I come second here.

 

I waltz across the hall and into Jimin's room, smirking to myself for what I am about to do. Knowingly, I crouch down, peering under his bed to grab the familiar box. I open it to see exactly what I wanted before hastily going back into my room. 

 

What I find will forever be imprinted in my mind, fuck. My mouth goes agape, and I try to swallow, but it seems to have gone dry. Jimin is lying there, head sunk into the feathered pillows, his body arched, head thrown back and his hand is delicately fingering himself. I almost drop the box at the sight.

 

I quickly place the box on the desk chair, before going back to the bed, surprising the blonde haired boy by pulling his hand away. "No," I state, his eyes blinking and I am just so fucking aroused right now. I try to ignore the growing pain in my crotch area, bending back over the stark boy to kiss him tenderly.

 

"That's my job," I mumble against his lips, his hand accidentally grazes against my clothed dick and my breath hitches, "fuck you, Park Jimin.

 

"Go on then," he prods, spreading his legs wide with a knowing smile, he thinks he's so clever as he palms my member. I just lick my lips and back away, his eyes following my footsteps before they land on the box. His face going considerably paler, "Jeongguk," he breathes out and I smirk, this is going to be so much fucking fun.

 

I hum tracing my fingertips over the silk fabrics covering the bounty of toys, I already know which ones I am using, but let's see what Jimin thinks. "Which one?" I ask trying to suppress my laughter at his face, "which of these I mean do you want to try first?" He gulps, not so confident now, are you? He isn't in the right state of mind to come up with an answer, so I turn back to the box, chuckling lowly to myself.

 

"Jeongguk that is not going anywhere near me!" He squeals as I pick up the beauty of the glass dildo, I snicker lightly before picking up another toy and slowly tracing my footsteps back to the bed.

 

I'm trying so fucking hard to ignore the burn in my member to feel friction, but the thought of this inside the blonde boy has been toying on my mind since I first laid eyes on it.

 

"Jeongguk!" He whines shifting away from me and further onto the bed but I just swiftly grab his ankle and pull him over effortlessly, my thighs in between his. "Jeongguk," he repeats again as he eyes the large toy in my other hand, this will fill him up nicely. 

 

Jimin seems a little tense; I drop the dildo and the butt-plug onto the mattress. My hands trace down the backs of his thighs towards his ass, his head snapping back in pleasure with a breathless moan filling the heated air.

 

I bend back over, trapping the older under me, he's so fucking attractive. "Relax," I whisper against his ear before kissing the supple skin under his lobe and making my descent across his jaw and neck, gloating at the canvas of purples and blues I left earlier, trailing down to his chest and abdomen before hotly tonguing at the sensitive skin of his thighs. 

 

I reach back over to my bedside table, opening the drawer to retrieve the bottle of lube and a condom, admittedly having not been used in what seems like a very long time. I glimpse back at Jimin, his brown ones locking onto mine in a silent exchange of this being okay. More than okay.

 

"Please," he whimpers, and I don't need any more before I am grabbing the plug from the bed and generously smothering it in lube. Jimin watches in anticipation, his bottom lips curled under his teeth as he opens his legs wider allowing me to view the pretty pink bud. 

 

I lube up a finger, tracing it over the entrance making him wail out in anticipation. The moment I slide it in the most heavenly noise parts from his lips, his eyes closing tightly as I allow him to get used to its shape.

 

"Jeongguk!"

 

His hands grab at my shirt, tugging me down onto his body clumsily and he squeals out the moment I press the button turning it onto a low setting. "Fuck you!" He gasps out, guess I forgot to mention it vibrates.

 

I take this moment to undress, my stare never leaving the blonde haired boy’s as he croons at the pleasure filling him up, it's enough to make me want to take it out and push myself inside him instead, but Yoongi always taught me that patience is a virtue. 

 

His body goes lax; his eyes tightly shut as I amp up the settings, "Fuck! Jeongguk!" He chokes out; I try not to show my enjoyment out of watching him wriggle around on the sheets continuously letting out pants at the vibrations.

 

I slide down in between his legs, sloppily allowing our members to touch, fuck I didn't mean to do that. I decide I've had enough teasing and scoop the smaller male up and onto my own thighs, straddling me once more.

 

We begin kissing again, my tongue eagerly exploring his own, this is scarily okay. Jimin moans into the kiss as I suck on his bottom lip and I push the button, he instantly throws his head back with a heavenly whimper at the pulsations, his fingers clawing into my skin. Ah fuck, this is too much. 

 

He starts grinding on me, and I don't think I'll last as long as I hoped, Jimin's silky smooth hands caress my chest, his fingers ghosting over every indent making me shiver in satisfaction.

 

Falling deeper and deeper until he reaches for my throbbing member, now he seen my naked body before, ideally not the way I wanted it to happen but the way he is eyeing my form now it gives me this beaming confidence that I am still who I was. That those marks don't define me, Jimin taking pleasure in me has for now banished my lack of self-worth. 

 

He gently thumbs over the head, pressing into the slit and the fire pit growls at the touches. I go to stop him, but before I can, he's grabbing the base and slowly pumping. I let out a strangled groan, my hand tightly squeezing his waist as he rhythmically pumps, this is too fucking much. What is he doing to me? "You're so long and thick," he breathes against my lips before ensnaring my mouth with his once more. I should hate this. 

 

The moment I think I am about to reach my release he stops, the cloudy haze evaporating and I am back with the knowledge that a naked Jimin is straddled on my lap with a butt-plug inserted into him on full pelt. "Ah ah, Jeongguk! Please! It’s not enough; I need you! I need that inside me!" He whines in a high pitched voice as he falls against my chest panting, his hand brutally gripping my member, fuck this is too much.

 

I kiss his temple, it’s far too soft for the situation, but he smiles at it, so I don't care. 

 

I quickly switch the controls off and Jimin whimpers at the lack of fulfilment, his hand tracing over the head again, thumbing at the precum, and I snarl at how intoxicating his touches are. He starts murmuring incoherently, and I pout, he won't last long.

 

The smoothness of his ass against my thighs and the way his breath tangles with mine makes me believe I probably won't last long either, that and the fact that I'm about to fucking blow a ball if I don't do something soon. 

 

We take it slow, his hands placed carefully on my neck, cupping my jaw as we kiss passionately. I have never felt so utterly lost within his movements, everything from the small whimpers to the gentle rise of his bare chest, the way his skin glows elegantly and lips swollen but so fucking mouth-watering. Jimin really is a human I have taken for granted; now I see his full worth, we are baring ourselves in the most imitate and fragile way to one another, I'm glad I am here with him. By that, I mean him here in my arms, as a friend and as a lover. 

 

"Please, Jeongguk get inside me!" He pleads one last time; I am so lost in his face that I don't recognise him ripping open the condom and placing it harshly onto my length. Even then I still can't look away; he really is beautiful, isn't he? There isn't a single thing I could point out to change, even here as a pliant sweaty mess I wouldn't have him any other way. Is this what infatuation looks like? An angel in the form of a sin? It must be. I need him. 

 

I am so lost in him that I don't even contemplate Jimin lifting himself up and placing himself straight onto my member, it isn't until I feel the tight warmth that my mind tumbles back. We did it. This is it, holy shit.

 

"Aaah, Jeongguk! You're so thick!"

 

Once again Jimin's head rolls to the side, eyes never leaving mine, there isn't anything left to say. This is probably more than we both had ever imagined, the boundary shattered, but I'm not scared.

 

"Shit Jimin, you're so tight, baby."

 

The hotness of him around my cock is fucking bliss, I allow him to grow accustomed, and we take a moment to just silently tell each other that we are okay. That there is nothing to fear, he has me, and I have him, friends or more. 

 

"Move," he snaps, his eyes rolling back as I instantly thrust, the groan, unlike the others before only drives me more, that was fucking hot.

 

I quickly flip him, so his back is against the edge of the mattress, I stand to get a better angle, entwining our fingers above his head and I start to sensually move my hips creating a slow burn that Jimin seems to enjoy. This is all about him; I want him to feel safe, to feel loved, to know that he isn't property and he isn't pathetic. He isn't me. 

 

"Is this okay? Are you okay?" I ask anxiously, Jimin's hooded eyes softly gaze back into my wide round ones, I don't want him to feel like I did. He untangles one of our hands, my movements coming to a halt in fear that he isn't comfortable, I go to pull out when his hand cups my cheek. The action startles me, I wasn't expecting that, and the loving smile is gracing his face confuses me even more so. 

 

"JEONGGUK I AM FINE! JUST FUCK ME!" His voice is different to his actions, he moves his head to kiss my other hand that's still tangled with his, and I can feel myself choking up at the sensation of love in those few movements. I shake the feeling away not wanting to destroy the moment we had and instead snap my hips roughly, skin smacking into the skin with a loud groan on both our parts.

 

The tickling burn is growing to a humongous rate with every push, Jimin and his breathy gasps spurring me on. I can feel my back muscles constricting at I sensually grind into the older, his nails clawing feebly at my skin. His lips against my ear, breathing heavenly low with little squeaks every now and then when I hit him right. My lips dusting against his chest, scattering hot kisses along his plush skin, tongue flicking over both nipples making him squirm, his mouth agape with silent moans. His enjoyment is the only thing I crave; his safety is everything to me. 

 

“You’re so fucking hot.” 

 

"Turn me," he gasps, and I carefully pull out gaining a grumble from Jimin before I am picking him up and twisting his tanned body onto all fours, allowing me to take in the full beauty which is the perfectly rounded asset.

 

"Jeongguk!" He whines when I forget to push back in, too immersed in the beauty of Jimin from behind. I mumble a sorry before grabbing his hips tenderly, not with force or to gain an absurd amount of dominance; I am careful not to bruise the beautiful canvas of his tanned complexion, that's the last thing I want. I line myself back up before thrusting deeply into his hole, the suffocating tightness almost unbearable as he tenses. 

 

"Fucking relax, Jesus Christ Jimin, you're going to squeeze my cock off!" He giggles lightheartedly at that comment and obviously tries to relax himself, failing clearly.

 

I rub my hands up the insides of his thighs, making him shiver at the sensitivity of that area until he is completely idle.

 

“Jeongguk you’re so- ah!” I start to rock back and forth again, rhythmically pushing his hips into every thrust. I shuffle slightly on my feet and thrust once more, the older boy's arms instantly give in on themselves, a deep guttural moan parting through his lips and I know I hit the bundle of nerves, so I do it again as soon as Jimin tries to regain his balance on his elbows.

 

"There?" I ask innocently, and I get a gargled noise in return making me beam in pride. 

 

"Fucking hurry up!" He practically cries out obviously turning hysterical; I don't know what's gotten into me. Usually, I would have been completely adamant on chasing my own release but something about Jimin keeps distracting me, and I lose my track through his body and sounds.

 

I do realise I am taking too fucking long, I keep zoning out and it must really be getting on Jimin's nerves, I mean I am shoved inside him. So naturally, I begin pounding at a steady pace once more, Jimin eliciting pleasurable noises each time, I know it's going to end soon for me. But I don't want to before Jimin. 

 

I cruelly wrap my spare hand around his member and begin pumping within time to my thrusts making Jimin scream out at the over stimulation. I can only smirk, he won't last long like this.

 

”You’re doing so good, baby! So tight.” 

 

“Jeongguk, c-can I come? I don't think I can-” 

 

“Come for me, baby.” 

 

"I'm gonna-" he doesn't finish that sentence before I skillfully twist the length as I hit the nerves and Jimin actually screams "Ah Jeongguk!". Head is flopping forward as he comes all over my hand, that only stimulates me more and I focus on hitting that spot.

 

Jimin is rambling incoherently again, he's completely lost, and I just want to chase that to the very end. 

 

It isn't long until I feel the familiar knot in my abdomen before I spill into the condom just as I hit the nerves one last time. Jimin is collapsing in a heap of euphoria and in my new found haze I carefully slide myself out and collapse onto the bed beside him. Fuck. 

 

We just lie there for a while, heavy breathing as the only noise breaking the silence, it isn't tense though. A blissful silence, one where we both are buzzing.

 

I'm the first to come back to my senses, I pull the condom off and chuck it into the rubbish can, I blink at Jimin who is still lying with his ass on full show, his head buried into the sheets that he's completely destroyed through gripping them so hard.

 

I'm not one for cuddling after sex, but something about seeing him in this state makes me want to never let him go. I softly touch his back causing him lift his head, his hair is a complete mess with sweat matted into some locks, his face flushed and eyes are drooping.

 

I smile, cradling him into my body, his lips grazing against my neck as he once again burrows his face there. His arms tucked around my neck and legs either side of my hips. He reminds me of a koala right now, it's too domestic, but I oddly don't seem to mind. 

 

"Jeongguk?" He cautiously mumbles against my neck and I hum for him to continue, his naked form against my own really does feel homely. "You didn't use your dildo," I snort at that, my hands groping the thickness of his ass, he whimpers at the tenderness of his hole from my rough treatment. 

 

"Next time baby," I state without thinking, and Jimin is instantly staring at me, "I-I mean, i-if you wa-want to?" Why do I suddenly feel so shy? I just had my dick inside him, and now I want to hide under the sheets. He doesn't reply for what seems like minutes; he just gazes directly at me like he's trying to suss me out. 

 

"Jeongguk, what is this?" He whispers as I pull his chest closer to mine, our bodies fully submerged into one another, limbs tangled. "You love Taehyung, what am I? We can't be anything more than friends." He traces small circles into my skin with his index onto my chest, his eyes no longer wanting to meet mine. I stop groping his ass and instead lift his chin to bring him into a deep and meaningful kiss. It really does feel too natural. 

 

"The truth is Jimin; I don't know. You drive me insane, we have something, but you will always be my friend first before anything else. I don't want to do anything that would harm you in any way. Tell me what you want, and you will have it, if you want to just be friends then I respect that." 

 

"I want us to be friends." 

 

"Okay, friends it is."

 

"But I also like having your cock inside me," I choke, I didn't fucking expect those words to come out of his mouth. He does that adorable thing where he throws his body forward when laughing, his head tucked into my chest, and I burst into laughter with him. 

 

"That good huh?"

 

"Don't flatter yourself; you zoned out like four times!" I do feel a little guilty about doing that to him, but I can't help it if his moans are distracting. "Do you do that to everyone?" I shake my head a little embarrassed, "awh Jeonggukie! Don't get all shy! It's flattering really," he coos pinching my cheeks, and I try to put him away with his teasing smile. "Such a cute little baby!" Okay, what the fuck? Baby? Nope, I am a full grown man! 

 

"I am not a baby!" I groan, and he just smiles up at me like butter would fucking melt. "I just had my dick shoved inside you, and you're calling me a baby?" 

 

"I have a question Gguk, can you answer it for me?" I hesitantly nod, questions are never good. 

 

"Why do you care so much about my safety?" Fuck, what do I say now? "I initiated it Gguk, why wouldn't I want it?" I just shrug childishly, he reaches forward and lifts my chin, so I have to look at him. "Will you tell me where you got those bruises now?" The mood is gone, replaced with one of authority, Jimin's eyes boring into mine harshly, he isn't going to let this go is he? What do I tell him? Tell him that I am a pathetic loser who somehow initiated sex I didn't want? To say to him that I kind of used him to see if I was still okay with being intimate even if I did want it with him? I can't say any of that. 

 

I go to open my mouth to spew him a lie when the door clashes open. We both turn startled to see Yoongi hyung stood there with a stiff upper lip and arms folded over his chest, hard. Oh fuck. "Have you two finally finished fucking?" He asks coldly, Jimin's mouth goes wide, he obviously forgot hyung was still here. "Had fun I see," Yoongi declares whilst pointing at the two toys sprawled on the bed. "Tell me, how long has this been going on?"

 

I look at the clock, 9.33AM, "I'd say about an hour hyung," Yoongi rolls his eyes clearly irritated that I am joking around with him. 

 

"No you fucking dipshit, how long have you two been fucking without telling us?" 

 

"We haven't hyung; I don't know what you're talking about?" I tease once more, Jimin lifts himself off the bed and quickly gathers his clothes. I don't fail to notice Yoongi hyung watching him with dark eyes, I smirk, Jimin is irresistible, so I'll let him gawp. "Hyung, is something distracting you?" I tease, Jimin's eyes snap onto Yoongi's and the older instantly looks away and back over to me and my full naked glory.

 

"No, shut the fuck up. Don't play fucking dumb with me kid, I heard everything, plus you've got your fucking cock out, what do you possibly think I could mistake that for?" 

 

"Hyung I seriously have no idea what you're saying. I am a man of the church, Jesus is my only lover. Jimin was just checking if I have warts." Hyung's face screws up at the unpleasant image, Jimin smacks me with his jumper before putting it back on.

 

"And checking for warts consists of you shoving your dick inside him?"

 

"Of course! Maybe we should get him to check you over too?" Jimin slaps me once again, and Yoongi shoves his middle finger up at me, I love winding hyung up. 

 

"Hyung this is new, Jeongguk kissed me last night, and it just progressed from there. It won't happen again," Jimin quickly replies sensibly, and Yoongi watches the both of us with hard eyes, he's obviously contemplating if that's a lie. It isn't for once, Jimin told the truth like a normal human being. 

 

"Get cleaned up and dressed; we still have work to do and don't think I've forgotten the stunt you pulled last night Jeongguk, I will have to mention that to Boss. But for now I'll keep this whatever you are," he waves his hand indicating the two of us, "a secret, as long as I don't have to sit through that ever again, I don't want to know what you sound like when you nut in his ass." I snigger loudly, and Jimin slaps my arm again, hyung leaves after that, and the conversation before he arrived is forgotten. Thankfully. 

 

 


 

 

SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 11.30AM

Well, this meeting is fucking awkward as shit, everyone is here, and Yoongi hyung is sat opposite myself and Jimin eyeing us silently. I can tell Jimin is uncomfortable by the glares he's giving us, my hand thumbs his thigh in comfort every now and then when the hyungs aren't looking. I never thought Yoongi would know what I sound like when I have sex; it's something I could comfortably live without but hey, what can I do now? I think he's more caught up on Jimin though than me, I mean I wouldn't blame him if he got hard just hearing those moans, fuck don't think about it now Jeongguk. 

 

Jimin looks down at my hand subtly, he looks back up and quickly glances at me, I give him a small loving smile which he returns. I notice his body movements have been a little more leaning towards myself like right now his shoulder is just brushing against mine. Hoseok hyung is yapping away about something gang related, but I'm in my own little bubble, a safety where it's just myself and Jimin. I don't move when I feel Jimin slot his hand delicately into mine, his fingers curling around my thumb in the most childlike manner. It's endearing really, and it feels me with this undeniable warmth. 

 

"Jeongguk mentioned that Kwan spoke to you yesterday, what did he say?" Yoongi mutters against his coffee cup, the bubble being pooped instantaneously, my eyes going to Namjoon hyung who is sat on his laptop next to him typing away. Hoseok is perched on the end next to Jimin polishing his knife and Boss sits at the head of the table listening intently to the conversations brought up by the three others. Jimin's eyes rise to look at Yoongi before turning to face the direction of Seokjin. Boss's attention is fixating onto the blonde boy in anticipation for something confidential. 

 

"He said a lot, most of it was just questioning the relationship between myself and Justin," Yoongi snorts and I death glare him in response, he sits there smugly with his eyebrow raised as he takes another sip of his black coffee that strongly radiates through the room pungently. "He wanted to know if I was a faggot or not I denied it to avoid technicalities. He then went on this boasting spree about how Taehyung is his and something to do with the contract they have him on means he's literally tied to him. He didn't really go into it. He just told me that I need to distract him and he hopes that myself and Jeongguk would be good coy whilst he waits for their plan to progress."

 

"Plan?" Seokjin's ears perk up, and Jimin sighs, all three hyung's attention onto the young blonde boy and even I am a little intrigued. 

 

"He didn't specify, just said there's a plan at the end of this year, I couldn't ask anything else without sounding like I was getting information. I got some stuff out of Taehyung too after Jeongguk left."

 

"Jeongguk left?" Seokjin pans, his eyes falling onto me beneath his spectacles. 

 

"We'll speak to you about that after Boss," Yoongi hums placing his now empty cup onto the table with a huff. Seokjin nods and indicates for Jimin to continue with what he was saying. 

 

"Taehyung told me that he had a brain tumour which is why he has difficulty remembering things from before the operation, he showed me the scar on the side of his head, he said it caused his retrograde amnesia which is why he can't remember meeting Kwan or Cobra or joining the idol industry. He said Kwan has been helping him remember, but he told me he still gets confused a lot. He said he gets flashes of what he thinks are memories, but they never make sense with the life he's apparently lived with. He didn't specify, but I'm guessing those are memories within the gang, he called them nightmares, so I guess it consists of a lot of murder."

 

"What sick fucks, pretending he had cancer," Hoseok hisses gaining a disgusted unison of hums in reply from the others. But what I care more about if Kwan is feeding him a false life, from what I know of retrograde amnesia it's more recent events that are forgotten, that would mean everything we went through together being demolished from his mind.  

 

"Try and see if you can find out more of these so-called night terrors Park, Jeongguk why weren't you there?" Seokjin pans once more and I shift on my seat, this isn't going to end well. 

 

"I needed to leave hyung, it was too much seeing him and having to pretend," not the full truth but it will do. I know Yoongi hyung isn't going to leave out what happened, but I want them to at least know it wasn't me indulging for no purpose, I needed to escape. "My mind was a mess, I honestly just wanted to get as far away from him, I got drunk when I got home to try and dull everything, I was hurting hyung please understand that." I'm met with silence, Namjoon and Hoseok are watching me with looks of empathy, Yoongi and Jimin are looking at each other probably trying to mentally tell one another if they should say or not. Seokjin doesn't react at all; he just looks at his watch with a heavy sigh. 

 

"Very well, I dismiss you from the case Jeongguk." 

 

"What?" I choke out in shock, Jimin's eyes locking onto Boss's. 

 

"If you're not in a healthy place to be able to actively work without drawing attention to yourself then I am afraid you won't continue following Kim. Park will do it alone; you're not only endangering yourself and Park through your irresponsible actions but the gang as a whole. What if Kim were to follow you? Or you drunkenly messaged him confidential information? I'm sorry Jeongguk but from now on you will go back to your original place within the unit." 

 

"Boss I don't think that's a good idea," Namjoon hesitantly responds, closing his laptop and giving his full attention to the conversation. "Jeongguk is really the only one who could possibly get Kim to remember, Park has already said Taehyung is having a hard time comprehending the information he is being fed. Having Jeongguk there as Justin would benefit the cause, Jeongguk within time will learn to be okay around Kim, if he stays away from alcohol we shouldn't have a problem. If he feels like he needs to leave, then he should tell Jimin, and we can send him to the flats if Taehyung decided to follow." The flats are what we use as a gang if we think people are onto us, they are just fake apartments, I've used them a couple times to lure opposition in. 

 

"Boss I really would feel more comfortable with Jeongguk there, I can handle Kwan, but Taehyung is different. Jeongguk knows him well; I don't. Besides, Taehyung wouldn't just forget about Justin's existence if he never showed up again. He wouldn't stop asking about him yesterday." I try not to smile at that, he asks about me? 

 

"Jung, what is your input?" Seokjin asks turning to the two older men, "what are the possibilities of Jeongguk causing more damage with this reckless behaviour?"

 

"Not much Boss, if we feed Taehyung some lie about Justin then he should leave it alone. I do think the kid would benefit more from being around Kim sir; I can begin training them again, so they are more adequately prepared. It was my fault; we didn't have enough time to fully delve into controlling emotions when around those we are trying to fool." 

 

"Min?"

 

There's a long pause; everyone knows that Yoongi always has the final verdict before Boss makes a decision. Yoongi leans back on his chair, lips pursed as he watches me, I can tell he's taking this seriously. I lock eyes with him, I mentally plea with him to allow me to have a second chance to redeem myself, I don't want to lose Taehyung again not when I just got him back, sort of.

 

"I think we should give him one final chance, if he fucks that one up, then we abandon him, and he becomes Sniper again. Kim I reckon will open up to him the best, Jeongguk is vital for us to be able to infiltrate and destroy Kwan, Boss, he and Park need to be there together to work well." 

 

"Very well, Jeongguk you have one chance, ruin this, and the consequences will follow." With that Boss is standing and ardently walking toward the back door, I let out a sigh of relief, hyung didn't mention the drugs. Yoongi doesn't stay long after Boss leaves, I can tell he's a little irritated with me, but it's best to leave him to simmer down before I try to make amends. Hoseok stays seated, polishing that blade for the umpteenth time since we sat down. Namjoon also stays where he is, he's got his laptop back open and is typing away obliviously again. 

 

"Jimin where did you get those from?" Hoseok suddenly blurts down, leaning forward from his laid back position to touch Jimin's neck and pull down the jumper he was using to hide them. Hyung rushed us out the house before he could even attempt to cover them with makeup. I stay quiet, Yoongi hyung stares over at the both of us from his chair, "did you get some action last night Jiminie? Oh my god, was it Taehyung?" Hoseok melodramatically gasps, Yoongi rolls his eyes before snuggling down into the comfy material to nap. 

 

"No they look more recent than that, this morning I reckon," Namjoon adds, fuck Namjoon and his IQ of 148. I try to act just as surprised and intrigued as them, but it's fucking hard when you want to gloat and say that's your handy work. 

 

"This morning? You brought someone back to the apartment? Jeongguk did you see who it was?" Hoseok nags and I just act coy, shaking my head and the older redhead pouts. "Come on Park, spill the beans, was he good?"

 

"Very," fireworks and a full on Mexican wave just went off in my head at the praise, I feel my chest physically puff out more and Jimin obviously notices too and pinches my thigh making me jolt and whack my knee on the table. 

 

"Ah, fuck!" I hiss, all three turn to look at me a mixture of confused and smug expressions. 

 

"What happened there?" Namjoon chortles going back to his typing. 

 

"Dunno, a flea must have bitten me or something," I speak through my teeth, Jimin is fucking getting it when we get home and it won't be like this morning that's for sure. 

 

 

 


 

 

16 .18PM

"So you're absolutely fine with sleeping with your partner?" Yoongi grumbles from his chair, I'm sat on the opposite couch trying to cool myself down. Jimin and Hoseok have put me through it today trying to teach me to dance. Apparently, Hoseok used to be in a dance team called Neuron when he was younger, I mean you learn something new every day. I also have discovered that I am not the most appalling dancer either, I mean I'm a little emotionless and stiff but Jimin said that's nothing practice cannot fix. 

 

His comment startles me, it's just us two. Hoseok and Jimin are off doing their own thing, and Namjoon is in his office with Boss. I shrug gaining another low grumble from him. "Since when did it become romantic between you two?" I wouldn't say it's romantic; I'd say more lust and sexual attraction. I mean I couldn't see him being my boyfriend if that's what he is trying to get at. 

 

"I've always been attracted to him hyung, we just never took it further," I speak honestly and he shuffles on his chair to listen carefully. Hyung loves a bit of inside goss I swear. 

 

"Until you decided this morning that you want to stick your dick up his ass."

 

"Yes hyung, that is usually how sex works."

 

"And you're totally fine with stringing him along? What about Taehyung?"

 

"I don't know hyung, its hard. I have a past with Kim, he's made me who I am, and I love him for that, but he isn't who I fell in love with anymore. To him, we don't know one another, but with Jimin, I can be myself, there isn't anything to hide, and I like that. It's mutual, and I enjoy it. So yes, I am fine with stringing him along because he understands what we are." 

 

"And what is that exactly?"

 

"Friends."

 

"Friends who fuck each other?"

 

"Friends who fuck one another, yes."

 

 

 NEW RISING STAR OF BIGHIT V DEBUTS AS ONE OF THE BEST NEWCOMERS, CHANGING THE K-POP MUSIC INDUSTRY WITH ALBUM 'SINGULARITY'. 

Today was the day that Kim Taehyung, also known by the stage name V made his debut into the Korean music industry. His debut performance of his title track, 'Stigma' caused quite the reception from audiences worldwide. The album is set to be one of the biggest in the new K-Pop era, his album racking in the views and already charting not only on Korean charts but global. It is fair to say that V is an artist you need to keep on your radar. 

The meaning behind his songs has yet to be published, but considering the young singer mentioning that they are personal, it is clear to see the star has some secrets. Subscribe to our newsletter to get updates whenever a new article is released. 

 

18.39PM

'Justin?'

 

"Hey Tae, how was it?' 

 

'Okay, I guess? Are you coming over now?'

 

'Are you home?'

 

'Yeah.'

 

'Are you okay? You sound upset?'

 

'I had an argument with Kwan, please can you come over now?'

 

 

'I urm...'

 

'Are you busy?'

 

'Kinda.'

 

'Oh... Don't worry then, I'm fine. I'll talk to you soon, bye.'

 

'Tae! Don't be silly; I'm coming over 'kay? I'll see you in a bit.'

 

'But you're busy?'

 

'I'd drop anything for you Taehyung.'

 

'Oh.'

 

'I mean I would for anyone, you sound sad. I don't want you upset on your special day.'

 

'I guess...'

 

'I'll text you when I'm outside.'

 

'The doors open, just let yourself in, I'm in bed.'

 

'Okay, I'll see you in a minute.'

 

'Bye Gu- Justin.'

 

'...bye.'

 

"Jimin I'm going out," I mumble as I walk into his bedroom, he's sat reading something surrounded by his mountain of cushions. I lean against the door frame; he looks up from his book with a questioning gaze. "Taehyung wants me to go round; he's a bit upset."

 

"Oh, I'll get my coat."

 

Jimin goes to stand up, "no! He only wants to see me", he looks back at me with wide eyes, a soft 'oh' parting from those rose tinted lips and I nod awkwardly. "Yeah, he had an argument with Kwan or something, try messaging him and see if he'll tell you. I'll be back soon, don't wait up." With that, I turn on my heels and exit his bedroom ignoring Jimin’s quiet call to say a little longer. I just grab my phone and a large hoodie, tugging it over my body and shoving my shoes on.

 

I mentally prepare myself as I step outside of the apartment, my hood thrown over my face and hands tucked cosily into the pockets. For August it isn't half chilly tonight. My phone vibrates, and I instantly whip it out, a wide smile forming on my face as I look at it:

 

TAEHYUNG

 Bring Burger King

 i want to eat it with u 

 

Chicken burger?

 

TAEHYUNG 

Of course!!!

Now get ur cute ass over here

i need a cuddle.

 

Cuddle? I shake the thought out of my head; he doesn't make it like that Jeongguk, he's upset and needs a friend. You are his friend. Nothing more. Get your mind out of the gutter. I compose myself again as I get into the taxi to take me just the short distance, today has been physically draining, and I don't really want to become mentally incapable as well, so I distract myself by putting my earphones in, might as well give Taehyung's album a listen. 

 

'Deeper, deeper, the wound just gets deeper
Like pieces of broken glass that I can’t reverse
Deeper, it’s just the heart that hurts every day.'

 

His voice alone is breathtaking; he sounds just as soulful as I remember, it aches my heart. Maybe this wasn't the best thing to listen to; now my mind is running in circles trying to think how in any possible shape or form these lyrics could link to his forgotten life. Can he remember me? Please, I just want a tiny, the smallest bit of indication that I am not chasing something that can't be found. 

 

I just want him to remember me. 

 

The drive is over quickly, my head still down as I make my way into the gated parkway and up to his apartment building. The women isn't sat there this time; I don't think anything of it as I hastily go over to the elevator with the delicious smelling takeaway in hand. Calm yourself down Jeongguk, you know him, you know him better than you know yourself. Just breathe. The loud ding of the elevator doors opening startles me; I jolt back taking a deep breath. Why am I so fucking nervous? 

 

I do as Taehyung says and let myself in, the apartment smells instantly of that familiar sweet aroma, and I immediately feel so much more at ease, like I've come home. "Tae?" I call out taking my shoes off, the sharp yip of Yeontan startles me once more, and I turn to see the small bundle of black fluff bounding over. I smile down at him, "hey buddy, have you had a good day?" I softly speak before realising I'm talking to a fucking dog.

 

Taehyung calls back out to me, and I follow Yeontan further into the apartment, I sneakily look beyond each door to see what's here, nothing too impressive. The end door is on ajar, and Yeontan easily squeezes in, this must be his room. 

 

I cautiously open the door wider, peering my head through to find a smiling grey haired boy wrapped up cosily into blankets, I instantly smile back as he reaches his arms out childishly for me to embrace him. "Hey you," he beams as I pad across the hardwood and over to the older boy, him grabbing my wrist as soon as I am close enough and forcing me into a tight hug. I try to reciprocate, but it's a little hard when you are a little shell shocked at what is happening. 

 

"I brought food," I declare evidently, holding up the bag of food that smells so fucking good. Taehyung's smile grows wider if that is even possible. Yeontan seems just as intrigued and steps onto my foot as if trying to gain my attention. I look down at the ball of fluff; those eyebrows are so strong, it's kinda sad that he always looks angry when he seems like such a happy little pup. I mean if I had Taehyung waiting on you hand and foot and giving you constant affection I would be happy regularly too. 

 

"You want some?" I ask him in this strange high pitched voice, the black Pomeranian tilting his head to the side clueless and Taehyung giggles, either at the dog's reaction to the sudden change in tone or because I'm fucking embarrassing myself in front of him. 

 

"Don't; I've already fed him half the steak I had earlier when Kwan wasn't looking," the mention of his name seems to drag the older's smile into the ground. That annoys me; this man is deliberately destroying such a beautiful human for what benefit? To get one back at our gang? It's childish really. "Anyway, come get in, we can watch something." 

 

I hesitantly make my way to the opposite side of the bed, I try to act coy, like this isn't the biggest fucking deal and that my heart isn't racing at a very unhealthy pace. Taehyung doesn't seem to take any notice; he's too busy mushing the cheeks of his tiny dog to even look in my direction. I climb onto the bed and sit there awkwardly, a fair amount of distance between us both, I don't know what to do with my hands, I awkwardly hover them around trying to find somewhere to place than before painfully just sitting them on my lap. 

 

"Justin," Taehyung giggles lightly as his attention turns from his dog to me, his eyes small crescents as he takes in my position, "stop being so awkward! Come here; it feels like you're all the way over in China!" He chuckles grabbing my wrist again and pulling me closer to him, so close our legs pretty much entwine, and I forgot how cuddly Taehyung was. My mind flies back to the amounts of times he used me as a pillow, his excuse being that he can't sleep without someone being there. My thoughts quickly wander over to who else has been lying in this bed with him, Kwan? Has that dick become his new refuge when he can't sleep? I hope not; it makes my stomach churn. 

 

Taehyung must've noticed the fowl expression on my face, he pokes my cheek playfully, my eyes darting to his, fuck he's so close. "What's with the face?" He asks snatching the bag beside me, his chest leaning against mine, granted for only a second but I feel the whole of my insides flip, what a fucking roller coaster ride is this huh? 

 

"Nothing, sorry was just thinking about something," I mumble trying to redeem my chilled exterior, the older just watches me slightly before handing me over a burger. 

 

"Care to share?"

 

"I don't think you'd want to know," I say slightly panicking that he's going to suss me out. 

 

"Does it have anything to do with those marks on your neck?" Fuck, his index lightly dusts over them and I look away at the touch, I know I said I wouldn't cower at it anymore, but it's Taehyung that's noticed them now. He's going to think so little of me. "Did you have them last time we met?" He's just carelessly munching on his burger; I still can't look at him, I don't know what to say. 

 

"Yeah, urr, Jimin made me cover them." 

 

"Jimin?" Taehyung asks in a higher tone; he seems shocked. "I thought you said you two were only friends?"

 

"We are, I mean sort of. Yeah, we are friends. Jimin didn't give me these." I lift a trembling hand up to my neck. 

 

"I reckon you're lying; anyone could see you two like one another. So come on Justin, you don't need to pretend with me I'm not Kwan." 

 

"Seriously, Jimin didn't give me these; I don't even know who did." 

 

"What?"

 

"I mean I was drunk, probably hooked up with someone, can we move on I don't really want to talk about it?"

 

"Oh yeah sure, sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

 

"It's fine Tae; it's just not something I want you to know about me."

 

"Why not?"

 

"Because I don't want you to think badly about me, you're like this perfect, amazing human and I'm just, we shouldn't even be friends."

 

"Justin," Taehyung sighs, he places his burger back into the paper and swivels to look at me directly, his hand reaching out to touch my arm and instantly rubbing circles into the skin. "You told me to have faith in myself, that there will always be people who judge you but it's the people who love you that will make their opinions seem small, do you remember saying that this morning?" I nod, "good, now take your own advice. Some hickeys and who you sleep with isn't going to change anything for me; I like you a lot, I guess we will just have to agree to disagree on who is the perfect, amazing human here. In fact, no, I'm not going to let you disagree, Justin, you're like a butterfly!"

 

"A butterfly?" I ask quietly picking at the bun of my burger, Taehyung just nods violently. 

 

"Yeah, a butterfly. Do you know why?" I shake my head, "because butterflies can't see their wings, they don't know how beautiful they are." My heart freezes, he remembers? I try to suppress my smile, does he honestly remember?

 

"How did you come up with that hyung?" I ask looking away for a moment to smile widely, Taehyung just nonchalantly takes a bite of his burger thinking about an answer. 

 

"I don't know, I think someone said it to me once but I can't remember." My smile instantly fades, he doesn't remember. 

 

"Hey hyung?" I ask once more, my voice mellow and small, he hums shuffling to look towards me again, eyes wide as he waits for me to continue, "thank you." 

 

"Justin, don't thank me. You deserve to see your worth just as much as you help me see mine. Can we watch a movie now?" I nod enthusiastically, "oh wait!" He suddenly squeals jumping off the bed and rushing cutely over to another door, which opens to be a closet. He reaches up on his tiptoes to retrieve something, and I watch with a small smile at the older male, my heart is still so fond. "Have you ever watched this?" He asks turning around to show a movie, Love,Rosie. My eyes go wide, and I feel tears start to surface but I swallow them back down with a shaky breath, I nod silently. 

 

"It was the only thing I could remember when I came out of surgery, I used to watch this a lot with," he trails off as he places the DVD into the laptop, I eye him with a new found hope. This could be it; he could remember me, or at least a part of me. Please, just let me have something to hold onto. 

 

"With?" I push, he hums looking at me confused, "you didn't finish your sentence, who did you watch this with?" Taehyung furrows his brows like he's really trying to remember. He closes his eyes tight; he's obviously searching through the haze of lies and reality trying to make sense of what is the truth. 

 

"Kwan," he blurts out, and my shoulders drop, oh. Of course. "Yeah, he said we used to watch this all the time, I remember the movie well but not the person, I guess it's Kwan in the memories."

 

"What happened to you Tae?" I ask a little abruptly but the older smiles. 

 

"I had a tumour Justin, they had to remove a part of my temporal lobe, and it gave me retrograde amnesia, I can't really remember anything from the last ten or so years maybe? I don't know my strongest memory is me on a swing set with my Grandma. I like that memory; I wish I knew where she lived." I don't think this would be the best time to tell him that his Grandma died two years ago, it still hurts when I think of the number of painful tears he cried into my chest, myself crying along with him. "Kwan's been good though, he's helped me remember somethings, but they all seem a little hazed. I'm just thankful I am still alive." 

 

"Wait so you honestly can't remember anything from the past ten years? Tae that must be awful." 

 

"I have these nightmares, they happen regularly, and I don't really understand them because they seem so real." He shivers at the thought, his hands rubbing together anxiously as he bites his lip, what could he possibly be dreaming about to make him so scared?

 

"What happens in them?" I ask softly, I don't want to push him too much, but I'm curious, I need to understand. 

 

"I kill people." 

 

I don't reply, his eyes welling up but he smiles painfully, trying to hide the fear. "It's always the same; I murder someone, there's always so much blood Justin. There's always this figure beside me, they don't have a face, but I get this weird comforting feeling but then I remember what's happening and I wake up terrified." 

 

"Figure? As in a person?"

 

"I guess, I don't know Gguk it's new to me." I freeze, he called me Gguk again. "Sorry, Justin. You're making me nervous, let's watch this, yeah? We need to lighten this mood, how have you watched this movie? You don't seem like someone who would be into romantic comedy." I chuckle lightly, my head flickers over the memories of Taehyung finding this movie one day and demanding we watch it, we watched it for Lily Collins and stayed for the story of two friends who are madly in love with one another but their lives just never allowed them to be with one another. It in a strange way reminds me of our relationship. After we watched it once it became a regular whenever Taehyung couldn't sleep or just wanted to cuddle. I'm happy he remembers at least something, even if I am not in the picture. 

 

"My friend made me watch it a while ago, let me guess you think Sam Claflin is more attractive than that Greg guy," I smirk already knowing the answer. Taehyung who is quickly trying to clear his mouth to animatedly respond chokes slightly on his food making me laugh out loud. 

 

"That isn't even up for debate! That Greg guy has the muscles but who wants a cheating airhead?" That makes me smile; he still has it. "Why are you smiling?" He asks flicking my nose before turning back to play the movie, his shoulder resting casually against me, I can smell his shampoo, it's the same coconut scent. 

 

"No reason, you just make me smile," Taehyung beams at that comment, he shoves me slightly, "Yeontan is eating your burger by the way," I slowly point out, whilst Taehyung has been busy setting up subtitles, Yeontan sneakily dragged the older's burger off the bed and is now chomping away at it in the corner of the room. Taehyung gasps, throwing the laptop off his lap and jolting out of bed to run after the dog that smartly knew he was in trouble and fled the bedroom. 

 

I hear Taehyung wailing after the puppy down the corridor and into another room, I just smile, this is nice. I feel happy. He hasn't really changed that much, still the same smile and glowing golden eyes, he's more open than he ever was with his feelings, he's grown. But he isn't Ghost anymore, he is just Taehyung or at least a part of Taehyung that I didn't really ever get to see but at the same time knew better than myself.

 

I look around the room; it's different to the others, it has character and is obviously lived in. I climb off the bed and head over to this desk; he has pictures hanging on a circled wire wall gird, decorated with different Polaroids. I look closely, most of them are of Taehyung with who I am guessing are his new celebrity friends, I recognise Bogum and Seojoon and a few other famous faces. He looks so happy in them, wide smiles and that's comforting to know that he isn't alone.

 

My eyes dart to the photo of him and Kwan, then my stomach churns when I notice one of him and Boa and another with Cobra. I take the image of him and Kwan off the wall to look at it more carefully. They are sat on a couch, Taehyung has his long legs flung over the man's lap, a hand placed on his the other's chest, and he's smiling, but it doesn't reach the eyes like the other photos. He almost looks anxious, the smile is dry, and when I notice Kwan's hand slotted down the back of his trousers I nearly gag, there isn't any other way to deny that they are more than what I wanted to believe. 

 

"Found something interesting?" Taehyung startles me; I jump round to look at the boy with a pleasant smile, holding his dog. He looks at the photo in my hand and hums, "I wondered when you would see that, I should have taken it down before you came over," he mumbles putting Yeontan down on the bed, the small dog sticking his tongue out jovially. 

 

"Sorry, I'll put it back," I awkwardly go to put it back when Taehyung grabs my arm and yanks it from my hand. I watch as he tears it in half and chucks it in the small bin by the desk. "W-why did you do that?" I ask confused, his whole demeanour has changed as he flops back onto the bed and lines the laptop up for a better view, playing the movie with a sour expression.

 

I just stand there, he doesn't look up and continues listening to the opening scene, "Taehyung?" I ask, and then the older's eyes snap onto mine fiercely, I falter slightly, that gaze isn't good. 

 

"Justin, please don't ask." His voice is bland like all the emotions have been drained out, I shift uncomfortably unsure on how to approach this situation. "Just come sit down and watch this with me? I don't want to think about him; I just want to spend time with someone I actually like and want to for a change." He pats the bed next to him; his eyes hold something deep within that I can't quite work out, sadness? Anger? Hurt? Maybe fear? I hope it's not fear. 

 

I know I'm not going to get it out of him what happened with Kwan, to be honest, I'm not sure I want to know, everything is already a little too much right now without the added extra of Kwan treating Taehyung like shit. 

 

We sit there in silence for a while, Taehyung seemingly engrossed into the movie, Rosie just found out she got into Boston, and Taehyung smiles at her excitement as she runs across to Alex's house. "I think I always wanted to go to University, what's it like?" Taehyung asks turning to look at me with interested eyes. 

 

"I wouldn't know- I mean, I just do dance and singing, so it's not really academic, most of the time I just hang out with my mates and only show up to the classes. I don't get the whole University experience; you should ask Jimin, he goes more than me." Taehyung nods, turning back to the movie, shit, I hope he isn't onto me now. Yeontan has snuggled up into his bed on the floor; I always wanted a dog when I was a kid, just something that is loyal and wouldn't leave me, I think that's my biggest fear you know, being abandoned. 

 

19.36PM 

I don't recall exactly when but Taehyung somehow ended up leaning on my chest, he probably can hear my heartbeat crashing through my rib cage at the contact, but he hasn't mentioned it. His hand is resting on my stomach; he randomly thumbs at the material of my hoodie now and again. It's a comfortable silence; I don't feel that nervous around him anymore, it's just me and him, him and I, Jeongguk and Taehyung. 

 

"I always wondered what it would be like to love someone so much that no matter where they are you always know they are the one who holds your heart. You know, like it doesn't matter if they are with someone else you just know that within the time they will be yours. I want that with someone, I just want to find my one and never let go." How do you even begin to reply to that? Taehyung lifts his head to look me in the eyes, fuck; he's so close. Our eyes entwine, and I feel my heart skipping too many beats, what is happening right now? "Wouldn't you like to find that Justin?" 

 

"I already have Tae," I mumble, my eyes diverting to the supple skin of his lips, I've missed them. I notice Taehyung nervously sticking his tongue out to wet them and I gulp, just an inch away, and I could kiss him. I could go home, home to him. "I've been in love with him for years," I continue, and I feel my head nudging towards his, his breath dusting my top lip like the familiar wind of Busan watching the sunset as the tide comes in with a magnetic pull. 

 

Time seems to be slowing down again, the distance between us feeling like a marathon, I suddenly feel a strong palm pushing my chest away and Taehyung's lips are gone from my sight. "Justin, no!" He squeals pushing me away more; I furrow my brows, of fucking course that would happen. Those fucking fate Gods hate me, I swear. "Don't be trying to kiss me when you're in love with someone! Oh my god! What is wrong with you?" 

 

"I-" 

 

"Justin don't kiss me, Kwan would kill you, Jimin would kill you. He is the boy you're in love with right?" His hand is still agonisingly placed hard against my heart, like a barricade to stop it from going near him. He doesn't want my heart. I've fucked up. "Don't answer that actually it isn't any of my business who you have relationships with. Justin, please promise me you won't try to kiss me again, you're a lovely boy, but I just can't do that to Kwan." 

 

"Y-yeah, sorry. I don't know what came over me." I awkwardly rub the back of my neck with a sad smile, Taehyung watches me with large eyes and a small frown. "Should I go? You probably don't want to see me right now." I go to get up, and a hand wraps itself around my wrist once more, I look back at Taehyung, his expression one of desperation and I stay seated. 

 

"Please don't leave, I can't sleep here without someone and Kwan won't be back until tomorrow morning probably." I nod, getting back into bed with him and he instantly snuggles into my side again like nothing happened. "I do like you, Justin, I just can't risk it, not when Kwan wants me to be his." That whole sentence is fucking wrong in so many ways, I honestly don't want my assumptions on their relationship to be true, but the way Taehyung is skimming around the edges makes it almost impossible for me to think of any other reasonable explanation. 

 

"Taehyung," I whisper, the movie finished and neither of us has bothered to stop the credits from rolling, he hums half asleep onto my side. He has his arms wrapped around my middle, and I have one hand resting on his waist trying to savour every moment of him being here with me for the first time in seven months. "Your songs, what are they about?" I feel him freeze up a little; I gnaw at the inside of my cheek, I shouldn't have asked that. 

 

"Why?" He asks coldly, and I gulp, that really wasn't the right thing to ask Jeongguk. 

 

"I was listening to them on the way here; your voice is filled with so much raw emotion that it's clear they are directed at someone or something." He sighs heavily; he wriggles around in my hold for a second before his feet tangle with mine. 

 

"I didn't tell you it earlier but that person in my dreams, you know the one without a face?" I nod listening carefully; I'm not sure I'll want to hear this. Taehyung sighs again, he's clearly anxious to tell me, and I eye him hard. "Well, I think I'm in love with them. I don't know who it is or if they are even real, but I feel it you know? It hurts my core to know that I can't remember them and if my dreams are real then who is it? I tried to tell myself it was Kwan but the presence isn't the same, it's softer and more genuine, like yours but this one is stronger? I don't know he feels powerful. I had a dream the other day where we were just sat in this car looking out at Seoul, he talks, but I never remember the voice or what he says. But I just know that I want to find him. I think he's my person Justin."

 

My heart honestly cannot take this; it's impossible for me not to think that person is me, I mean who else could it possibly be? But I am not ready for what he says. Next, I don't think I could ever prepare myself for it. "I think the person is Gguk, Justin. I know it sounds crazy but Gguk is the only thing I remember, and the word fills my heart with something. But I don't know a Gguk, I never have, and I've asked Kwan, and he said it was a nickname I gave him, but I don't understand it." I want to scream at him, yell from the rooftops that I am Gguk, that I am that person and that we can live together, to be one another's person. But I can't. That can't happen even if I want it to. Taehyung isn't mine to have any more. 

 

"That's who the songs are about, I wrote some of the lyrics before I had my operation, I remember I used to write a lot, but I don't know where it all went. I had a journal, I remember that, and when I came out of hospital there was a page from it ripped out and laying on my desk just there," he points over to his desk, "it was just a few words but it was the inspiration behind spring day," I nod remembering the song, "it was just waiting for the flowers to grow and he will be there to guide you, I don't know what it means but I have this emptiness inside me you know? Like I'm missing something, and I just want to find it. I just-" he sighs, his eyes glancing over my face again with a look of melancholy, "I want to find my reality again, I feel lost Justin."

 

"I think everyone is lost Tae, life is a maze, but with the right people you won't ever feel alone." 

 

"Are you lost?" He asks innocently, his fingers entwining with mine and I smile down at the small action, I like this new Taehyung, he's open. 

 

"Yes, I lose myself all the time." 

 

"Have you found the right people?" These questions are so pure and shy like he's scared that he is alone. He isn't. Not now. Not now that I found him again. 

 

"I think so."

 

"How will I know when I've found the right people?"

 

"When you can look up at the moon and not feel scared of the darkness but only see the light that it holds." His eyes shoot to mine, his mouth agape and I stare back with soft eyes, I know he knows that quote. 

 

"Ju-Justin?" He gulps, and I hum, I lift my hand to thumb away a bit of ketchup on the corner of his mouth, the action seems to shock him as his breath hitches under my touch. "Have I met you before?" I smile, he's so virtuous in his questioning. 

 

"No," I shake my head, lead filling my heart until it's drowned, but I continue to smile at him. "You've never met Justin before Tae," he nods looking away with a small frowning pout, he's adorable. "Hey come on, let's not have emo hours yet it isn't even ten. Should we watch some anime?" His face lights up at the proposition, that familiar boxy grin reappearing as the conversation is lost in the debate of which anime is the best, I'll let Taehyung win this one. 

 

I fall asleep with the familiar aroma of Taehyung's body, his silky hair dusting against my cheek as his warm body rests against my rhythmic rise and fall of my chest. This is home. I am home. Even if I can't live here, even if I can only peer in through the window, I know that I have found my refuge. My love for this boy hasn't even for a moment faltered, even if I refused to see, refused to feel, I know Taehyung has me. I just wish I could have him back. Not as Justin but as Jeongguk, but like Yoongi always taught me, patience is a virtue, and I am willing to wait the entirety of my pathetic life for a chance to hold Taehyung as my own. He is all I want, all I need. Just him and I. 

 

 


 

 

 

SEOUL - YONGSAN-GU // HANNAM-DONG // 03.12AM

I don't know what time it is, it's too dark to even see, but I guess it's early morning. I open my eyes groggily, sleep still trying to pull me back in, but the low hum of growling draws me to stay awake. Taehyung is still lying next to me, his arms wrapped around his pillow, he still looks exactly the same when he sleeps. I want nothing more than to lean forward and give him a chaste kiss but I can't, I am just his friend, I already made that mistake once today.

 

I sit up and rub my eyes aggressively. I turn my phone on to see the time, quarter past three; the bright white light magnetically pulls me to the real world, I look over to the bed Yeontan was sleeping in to see him sat there with his ears back growling at the door. "Yeontan?" I murkily voice, and the dog instantly turns towards me with his ears still down and starts yapping desperately. 

 

I climb out of bed and over to the small puppy, he starts wagging his tail as I crouch on the floor next to him. "What's wrong buddy? You're going to wake Tae up," I whisper at him, I pick him up, and he wriggles to get free, why is he distressed? Maybe he just wants to go exploring?

 

I open the door, turning back to check if Taehyung is still asleep, he hasn't moved at all. I decide now is probably a good time to explore, check the place out and see if there is anything being hidden that could potentially be good for destroying this gang. 

 

I cautiously make my way down the corridor, my feet softly padding as Yeontan merrily makes his way to the kitchen area, he probably just wanted food. I watch the small bundle of fluff; I wish I had bought him for Taehyung and not Kwan. That man honestly makes me feel fucking sick every time his name comes into my head. Yeontan makes a detour and ends up barking at a door that was closed when I came in; I furrow my brows, maybe that's where his food is kept considering this house seems to have strange looking compartments? 

 

I make my way to the door, Yeontan excitedly waiting for me to open it as I turn the handle, it isn't locked. I open the door, and the small bundle of joy rushes into the room, he must be really fucking hungry, he literally ate a steak and a chicken burger earlier, and he's the same size as my fucking hand, I don't get it. I laugh at the small dog softly, opening the door more to see what he is up to, my eyes go wide as I see some strange workroom? Is that what you would call this?Whatever it is I feel my stomach physically churn.

 

I step into the room; there's a bed in here, a pair of handcuffs attached to the head of the frame, Yeontan is just stood there with his tongue out. Did he fucking deliberately show me this? "What is this?" I mumble to myself as I turn the light on, the shock of seeing a fucking camera set at the end of the bed startles me. This is where he films the pornos? Or is this one of his little sexual fantasies? My eyes skim over the room, mirrors placed on the ceiling above the bed, a fur rug on the floor, it's very chic for what it is. 

 

Then my eyes go to the shelf, my heart hitching, fuck I need to call hyung. 

 

'Hyung?'  I whisper, moving towards the shelf and my stomach twisting nauseously, my eyes then darting to the computer, please don't be filled with what I think it is. 

 

'Jeongguk? Why are you calling me at fucking three in the morning?'

 

'Hyung I'm at Kwan's, Taehyung is asleep in the other room, and I've found something, how quickly do you reckon you could get here?' 

 

'What is it?'

 

'I don't want to say over the phone hyung, it's apartment 3020 it's the white building on the end, I'll send you the location.' 

 

'Kid is it bad?'

 

'So fucking bad, hyung.'

 

'Shit okay, I'm coming over. Should I bring anything?'

 

'No. Wait, maybe bring a gun in case Kwan comes back, Taehyung said he shouldn't be back until the morning.' 

 

'Okay, I'm coming now kid.' 

 

 

 


 

 

 

Class was boring, the most interesting part of the annoying droning of maths, then science and then fucking literature was the idea of going home and finally getting to play that video game Dad bought for us to play. "Text me when you are all set up, we can do a mission together," Yugyeom grins at me as we walk down the hallway. "

 

You'll love it Gguk, it's fucking badass, heads blown off and shit, I reckon you'd make a good sniper." I snort at that, as if. I just allow my mate to go off on one about how amazing this new video game is that my parents made me stay away from until I bumped up my grades. Two and a half months later here we are...

 

"Jeongguk!" A dainty voice calls, I turn to see Jennie running towards me with a wide smile, I quickly nudge Yugyeom to leave me giving him a quick bro pat on the back. "Hey babe, leaving without me I see," she beams kissing me on the lips, I just smile down, I guess I won't be getting home until a little later than I wanted. "Do you want to come to the mall with me? I need to find a dress for prom; you're still coming right?" She asks grabbing my hand and leading me in the opposite direction to the door and towards her locker. 

 

"Yeah, I mean you haven't given me much choice," she hits my chest playfully before opening her locker and grabbing everything she needs. "But I can't today babe; I have to go home, important business," I lie, and she rolls her eyes with a click of her tongue as we begin walking again. 

 

"This important business doesn't have anything to do with that video game you've been banging on about since it came out?" 

 

"No! Babe, I am offended you would think I would choose a game over you." She rolls her eyes again, reaching up on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around my neck with a wide smile. 

 

"That's exactly what you're doing. I know you too well babe, you go have fun killing people, I'll just live in the real world with a terrible boyfriend that doesn't want to spend time with me." She's trying to guilt trip me, but honestly, she's just helping me out. I quickly kiss her lips, grabbing her ass and she squeals giggling as she jumps up, wrapping her legs around my waist. I hold her thighs as we begin making out in the corridor against a random locker, hardly anyone is here anymore, can you blame them? I mean it's the end of the fucking school day. 

 

"Jeon, put Miss Kim down!" A voice drones through the hallway, and I instantly drop Jennie, fucking cock block. I turn to see Mr Lee, my athletics coach, he's smiling, but it's more a smile of smugness that he just ruined my fun. "Thank you," he replies with a smirk, I flip him off playfully. "That's a detention Jeon," fucking prick. 

 

"Babe come round tomorrow, my parents are out on a business trip, so I have the place to myself," Jennie sing songs, she sensually rubs her hands over my chest with a grin, her big black eyes beaming into mine, and I smirk. 

 

"Oh yeah? Are we going to have our own little trip?" I ask playing along, and she nods turning around to pick her bag up that she dropped, I eye her perky ass, fuck maybe I should go with her today? 

 

"Yeah, take me to Hong Kong baby," she winks playfully, and I snort.

 

"You're fucking psycho; I'll just come over after school yeah?" She nods, quickly kissing me a few more times before we bid our farewells. I can't wait to fucking get home and play this game finally.

 

I grab my skateboard and race out of school, it will soon be summer, and my parents said they had planned a trip back to Busan, I want to go back. Seoul is nice and all, but it isn't really my home, I miss the ocean. 

 

The skate home is relaxing, the city air dances on my skin, blowing my hair back as I fly down the streets. I always walk to school, well skate, it's almost a forty-minute trek but I like being out, I love watching others go about their day with little thought, besides Mum always makes sure I get outside. 'Sunlight is good for you Jeongguk,'  shes's a therapist, so she thinks she knows everything, if I want to spend my weekend locked in my room just in my underwear with the curtains closed I will, it isn't because I am 'depressed' or 'going through a phase because of hormones', no, it's because I can't be arsed to get up when I could just play video games. Besides, I do athletics four days of the week, isn't that enough for her?

 

She gave me the 'talk' the other day, told me about using protection and that it is okay if I can get a boner or ejaculate, it might have been the most uncomfortable hour of my life. She did, however, give me condoms, she basically gave me the heads up to have sex. She even gave me porn, I mean it was an old fashioned magazine shit that I probably won't ever look at but I mean she tried. She also told me all about it being okay to be attracted to the same sex as me; I don't think I'd ever be gay, that just doesn't really do anything for me, I'll stick with Jennie. 

 

I arrive home quickly, I proper sped down the streets, getting yelled at my old farts that probably should be dead by now considering they exhale dust particles. I have the widest grin on my face as I get in looking distance at our very quaint cliche looking home, I'm so fucking hyped. The first thing I notice is the car has gone, not surprising considering both parents work until seven each night but something strange settles in my stomach. 

 

I jump off my board, casually putting it by the front door as I open it. I shake the uneasy feeling away, it's probably my emotions, but I just want to play this game. I text Yugyeom and tell him I've reached home, and I'll be on in an hour max. I chuck my bag down at the door as well, flicking my shoes off, it's too fucking hot.

 

First thing I do is leg it upstairs to change, just putting my usual grey joggers and a dirty shirt on from my floor. I head back downstairs and into the kitchen, got to have some snacks, I sneakily grab one of my Dad's beers that he won't know I've had. 

 

That's when I notice it, on the counter hidden well behind plastic containers of different kinds of rice and shit was where my parents kept their finances, it's gone. My eyes dart around the room, nothing else seems to have changed?

 

I hesitantly head back upstairs to their bedroom, I'm not really allowed in here, but even I know when it's different. I dart to their closet, it' s fucking empty minus a few old shirts and clothes hangers. What the fuck? The bedside tables have been cleared too except for a photo of us three; I blankly stare at it. There must be a good reason right? 

 

I suddenly hear a clanging noise and my eyes shoot back down the hallway, someone is here. I grab my Father's baseball bat he keeps propped against the closet and make my slow descent down the stairs. What the fuck is happening? Where are my parents? Maybe Mum was doing some spring cleaning? Yeah, that's probably it. They definitely wouldn't leave their fourteen-year-old son, no, they wouldn't do that. 

 

I gather all my courage and barge into the living room, what I see isn't what I expected. I kind of want to run, but my feet seem planted to the floor. Fight or flight, right? I guess I'll just have to fight. The room is trashed, television smashed and toppled over, photos and miscellaneous objects strewn from their usual spots to the floor, broken and bruised. The couches have been torn up, white feathers from the cushions scatter the ground as well. It's a fucking tip. 

 

My eyes fixate on the dark-haired man sat with a smug grin on the couch like he owns the fucking place. His eyes lock with mine, he's got this dark presence about him if he's robbing us then why is he sat here? I mean, isn't the whole point of doing a robbery to not be seen? The fucking idiot can't even do his job right. "I'd put that down kid," his voice is deep, it fits his presence well, you know, the usual dark and mysterious. He stands up, and I shift back a few steps when I see the gun in his hand. 

 

"What the fuck do you think you're doing? Mum is going to kill me when she sees all this mess! You better clear it up!" I mouthily reply trying to ignore the gun he's lifted like he's ready to shoot my eyeballs out. That grin isn't very pleasant either, his dark hair covers his eyes slightly, but I can see the dark brown orbs, they hold a glimmer in them, and I don't know what the fuck to do. 

 

"That's the issue kid; your 'parents' aren't coming home." I falter, what? The man turns on his heels and backs away; he bends down to pick up a photo that Mum had us take last year when we went to Busan to visit relatives. "They've fled kid, left you by the looks of it, what nice parents you have hey?" I can't seem to wrap my head around this, left me? Why?

 

"Why?" I ask too hurt for my own good and his eyes snap onto mine; they are different, they seem sympathetic as he places the gun back in his halter. I look down; my parents left me? No, he's lying.

 

"You're lying; they wouldn't leave me. They just haven't returned home from work yet." 

 

"Sorry to break it to you kid but they have fled, put the bat down, and I'll tell you, I won't hurt you," what is this? I honestly don't understand. Why is there a strange man in my house? Where are my parents? And why the fuck, if they did leave, didn't they take me? Their only son? Their fucking child. 

 

"Who are you?" I ask shakily, this is all too much to take in, this strange man could easily kill me, and there wouldn't be anyone to find my body for weeks, imagine the headlines 'fourteen year old killed in his own house after his parents leave him behind.' Would my parents even give me a funeral? Probably not, they obviously don't care enough about me. 

 

"Put the bat down, and I'll tell you," his voice is sincere enough that I do as he says, the bat dropping to the floor with a steady clunk. His eyes watch me for a moment before he hums and sits back in the same position as before, he gestures for me to sit in the chair opposite him and I do. I don't really want to die, so I better do what he says. 

 

There's a heavy silence; I watch him carefully, he doesn't seem that old, maybe early twenties, late teens? He's watching me just as firmly, "what's your name kid?" He asks leaning back against the couch; his hands entwined as he tilts his head looking me over, probably trying to work out how old I am. 

 

"Jeongguk," I reply bluntly, "what's your name?" 

 

"Yoongi," I nod looking away if he's robbing us then why is he telling me his name? That's not very smart. "I know what you're thinking; I'm not a robber." 

 

"Then why are you here? Why have you trashed my home?" He laughs at that, it's breathy, and I'm unsure of what emotion underlines it but his smile kind of eases me? It's gummy, and he doesn't look as dangerous. "Where are my parents?" The smile fades, and I gulp, his eyes dark once more, I really do feel like a little child right now, there isn't really an ounce of courage in me. 

 

"I told you, they've fled."

 

"How do you know that?"

 

"Because they owe me money."

 

"Money?" I choke out; he nods in a bored manner, "no, you're lying. My parents are good; they wouldn't owe anyone like you money?" It comes out more as a question than a statement, I really don't understand. My phone chimes in my back pocket, his eyes focus in on my hands waiting to see if I will run away and call the police or something. I won't; I'm far too scared he'll point the gun into the back of my head if I do that.

 

"Money kid, do you Hwang-geumbich nalgae?" My heart freezes, gang money? What? Why do my parents owe money to the most feared gang in the whole of Korea? And why is this man sitting in my house? "Your parents owe us thousands kid, they have obviously fled and have left their precious little boy behind for us to kill." My stomach drops, fuck. I'm dead, aren't I? I look away instantly; I'd rather he got on with it if he's going to kill me. I mean I would rather a quick death. "But," he starts, standing up and towering over my small frame, I can't hold back the little whimper that parts from my lips as he grabs the gun. 

 

"How old are you Jeongguk?" He asks stood right in front of me, I peer up at him through my hair, why are his words so different to his actions? I don't understand. 

 

"F-fourteen," I curse myself for stumbling, but I can feel the anxiety rising as I eye the gun held tightly in his hand, I'm fucking dead. He doesn't reply. Instead he hums and swiftly grabs my collar and yanks me to my feet. He's just taller than me, I haven't fully grown yet, so he's pretty short for someone in a gang I guess, I mean I don't know what the average height for a gang member is, but I guess he's below average. Shit if he heard me say that he'd probably blow my guts out. 

 

"Come," he demands blandly, his grip still tight against my collar as he drags me out of my home and out onto the street. How did I not notice that car? What the fuck? That's when I realise that wasn't there before, were they waiting for me?

 

He shoves me into the back seat, my eyes darting over the other man in the driver's seat, he has dark hair too, but he's a lot friendlier looking. "Let's go Slasher," Yoongi grumbles, Slasher? Holy fuck. Wait, the man driving is Slasher? That isn't what I pictured at all; this man is literally the opposite of what I could have imagined, like ever!  

 

The man laughs as he peers through the mirror to see my face agape with shock and wonder, I'm really sat in a car with Slasher. "Know me, kid?" He asks, holy shit his voice isn't what I thought either, he sounds kind? Sunshine like? "I'm Hoseok kid; I guess Shadow introduced himself too?" My eyes snap onto the other man, Shadow? Fuck! I'm sat in a car with the two most feared gang members? This reminds me of a comic book when a child meets his two favourite superheroes; I'd be lying if I said I wasn't totally freaking out. 

 

"Where are you taking me?" I ask watching the streets get more and more sparse and empty, that feeling of anxiety is back, why did I ever think I was out of the woods? They are obviously taking me somewhere to put a bullet in my skull, oh no, they'll chuck me in the Han like in those gang movies. Yoongi looks over at me from his seat, the look of worry must be apparent on my face, and he smirks slightly, nudging his friend to look as well. I don't see how my fear is funny but then again they have killed so many people it's probably become entertaining to watch their prey squirm in their clasp. 

 

"You can call me hyung, okay kid?" Yoongi mutters, I furrow my brows, why would I need to call him hyung if I'll be dead within the hour? "Hoseok here too, and the reply to your question earlier is that we are taking you to the nest." Nest? Fuck! I furrow my brows again; I'm really fucking confused. 

 

"How old are you Jeongguk?" Hoseok asks me, his smile is really throwing me off, why is he so happy about killing a kid? 

 

"Fourteen, it's my birthday in two months." 

 

"What day?" 

 

"First of September." 

 

"Ah! That's close to Brain's!" Hoseok beams, Yoongi just grunts obviously not sharing the same enthusiasm over a birthday. My attention turns back to the world around me, the buildings are dark, and I recognise we are in Gangnam now. 

 

"Why are you taking me to the nest if you're just going to kill me?" I ask gathering all my courage, both of them burst into laughter. Was that funny?  "I-I wasn't trying to be fu-funny."

 

"Kid, we are not going to kill you!" Hoseok manages to get out between giggles, wait what? 

 

"I don't understand."

 

"We are taking you to Boss; we are going to make you one of us, would you like that?"  

 

"Become... one of you? Like a gang member? You want me to kill people?" 

 

"Yeah, it's fun!" Hoseok chimes, he has a weird sense of the word fun. Yoongi eyes me again, he reaches inside his pocket and I for a brief moment think he's just going to shoot me like in Pulp Fiction, I don't really want my brains scattered all over a car. 

 

"I like you kid; I think you have potential. We need someone like you, and you're probably the only candidate we've got. I'll train you up, and we'll see yeah?" I can only nod, a new sense of confidence is found, they want me to be part of the most feared gang? What the fuck. "We also need your help to find your parents... we just want to chat." I nod absentmindedly, not taking into account the blatant hidden meaning behind those words. I'm going to be a gang member.  

 

 

 


 

 

 

03.38AM

My attention is diverted to the sound of a door silently opening and closing before there is a muffled whisper of my name, hyung. Yeontan darts out of the room and starts barking repeatedly at the supposed intruder. I quickly rush after the small dog to stop him barking before he wakes up Taehyung, "Yeontan," I whisper loudly, and he instantly stops and turns towards me instead.

 

Yoongi stands there displeased with the small creature that I've picked up to hopefully help hinder the amount of noise that comes out of such a tiny dog. I smile at the puppy; he really is adorable. 

 

"What is it?" Yoongi asks looking around the dark apartment; I scratch Yeontan behind the ears to his satisfaction. 

 

"Pomeranian," I reply before getting kicked in the shin, what the fuck?

 

"Not the dog you fucking idiot, the thing you called me about!" He whispers loudly, and I make a noise of realisation at what he meant, "seriously I question your mental capacity sometimes." I would come up with a dig to say to him but right now but I am more concerned with him helping me with the issue with Kwan that I found in the other room. 

 

"Just follow me, did you bring a gun?" I ask leading hyung down the hallway and towards the room, Yoongi just hums in reply, he's probably strapped up entirely in gear. "Did anyone see you come in?" I ask before I turn the handle, Yoongi just shakes his head, he's obviously not in the mood for small talk, so I push the door open and point towards the shelving that's pretty hard to miss. 

 

"What the fuck?" Yoongi hisses marching over to where I was stood just a few minutes prior, taking in the horror that's displayed there. Yoongi eyes me; he's obviously finding it hard to place the right emotions, he's a little cocktail of everything just like I am. "This is bad," he whispers sharply, and I nod, "this is really fucking bad." 

 

"What do we do about it hyung? This fucks everything up." I ask, I am seriously concerned, we don't have much time before either Taehyung wakes up or Kwan returns, and there is no way we could go through all of this before then. 

 

"Have you checked the computer?"

 

"No, I haven't! I don't want to watch any of that hyung!" I hiss back, Yoongi moves over to the computer and starts typing in random passwords. "You won't guess it," I state looking away and back over to the shelves that honestly make me sick, I turn to look at the bed, I wish I could have stopped this.

 

There's a ding noise and a bright smirk on hyung's face, "you got in?" I ask in awe. 

 

"His password is literally Jimin's birthday," he snorts before clicking away again and trying to find the correct files, how does hyung know Park's birthday? I turn to look at the door, nope, I don't think Taehyung has woken up. I should probably go check. "Go check on him, kid," Yoongi mumbles as if he read my mind, "I'll text you if I find it," I nod before turning back out the room and down the corridor to Taehyung's room.

 

"Justin?" he groggily calls out as soon as I shut the door, his eyes are barely open, and I smile down at him and how adorable he is. "Why are you up?" he asks turning back and snuggling down, I feed him a lie about going to the toilet before climbing in and allowing him to snuggle up into my chest once more, his scent once again intoxicating my ability to think clearly. I want to tell him how fucking sorry I am that I couldn't prevent it, that I wish it was different, but that's too dangerous. I can't let my opinion of him change; I love him. 

 

He seems to fall asleep fast again, I play with his hair gently, pushing it away from his eyes and just allowing my love for him to shine through with such exuberance into the darkness around us. 

 

My phone chimes ten minutes later and I swiftly remove Taehyung from my chest and onto my pillow, he unconsciously snuggles into it with a content hum. I want nothing more than to bend down and kiss his temple, but that wouldn't do anything good for my heart, especially not when my assumptions are correct. I just climb out of bed sneakily, checking the message I guess is from hyung. 

 

'Get here now; this is fucked up.' 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

 

03.41AM

By the look on hyung's face when I enter the room again, I know it isn't good. I'm not surprised, I mean I suspected something like that would happen in a gang like this, I mean we've dealt with this issue with them for years, this just is too fucking far. I cautiously make my way to the computer, I know I don't want to see what's on it but I need to, this is what the life of a gang member infiltrating is like, you have to uncover secrets you don't want to be found. I suck in a large breath, my eyes slowly cascading from hyung's worried filled dark orbs to the shelving, it sends shivers down my spine, regretfully, finally they meet the screen. 

 

There it is, the one thing I didn't want to see, just there, put into a nice neat little folder, 'PERSONAL'. I scour at the many videos, there must be hundreds here, my eyes go back to the bed, and I feel like I am choking. Why am I the one suffocating when it isn't me? I wasn't there; I wasn't the one doing it. Taehyung was. Do they use him? That must be it, right? He wouldn't want that? I don't know what's worse, the idea of Taehyung willingly taking part or them forcing him, probably forced, I mean I know what that's like. God, please don't make him like me. Please, I beg you, he deserves so much more. 

 

That's when hyung clicks on a video; my heart hitches as I see Taehyung sprawled on the bed so prettily, lace lingerie covering his honey coated body, he looks beautiful. The small smile on his face tells me maybe he does want it? After all, I guess he believes he and Kwan have been in a relationship? He's been fed a lie and used. What does Kwan get out of it? Or is Taehyung literally just a toy to satisfy his unruly needs and desires. 

 

He giggles and my eyes snap onto the man making his way across to him, he's fully naked and instantly handcuffs the younger to the bed. This video must be new; he doesn't have the same hair colour though, it's a bleached blonde, shorter too. But I can tell it's recent, possibly the past two months sometimes, he seems content? Taehyung's face stabs a knife into my heart, the way he's looking beyond the camera with his lip between his teeth and eyelashes fluttering with anticipation, he's in love. He fucking loves Kwan.

 

I try not to watch as Kwan climbs onto the bed with him, their movements like a well-rehearsed show, the smile doesn't help things. Hyung just skips it along, my eyes trying not to focus on how beautiful he looks in such little clothing with only the tiniest bit of lace covering himself. That's when he looks at the camera, his lips ajar and eyes glossed over with pleasure, it almost feels like I am there with him. But I'm not, Kwan is. Kwan is the one in charge of making sure Taehyung feels good now; I no longer have a place inside that box. 

 

"That's not it," Yoongi whispers closing the video as soon as a moan escapes our ex-gang members lips, I know this is just as uncomfortable for hyung as it is for me. Probably more so actually, I mean I've heard them before, hyung not so much. Yoongi starts scrolling through the masses of videos, each having a different name and title, what catches me off guard is the subfolder, 'GANG', I tell hyung to click on it out of curiosity, he just looks me unsure.

 

"Jeongguk I am warning you now this isn't good," I know now this is what his message is referring to. Whatever is in this folder is something I don't ever want to see, but I have to, I know that. It's my duty to protect Taehyung, to get him away from here as quickly as I can. 

 

Hyung just clicks on the first video; it's different, it isn't filmed on that bed, the background is entirely white, the camera quality is a little grained, but I can see clearly. Taehyung is sat there, bruised and battered face, lip cut and his dark hair dishevelled. The date in the corner tells me precisely what I need to know, 26.01, that's two weeks after he went missing. This is what he looked like whilst I was sat on my ass thinking he was dead. His eyes look lifeless, he's silent with a blank expression, but his posture exudes strength, he's fighting. This is the Kim Taehyung I knew. He gazes straight into the camera; he's challenging whoever is behind it, Kwan probably. 

 

"What's your name Ghost?" The familiar voice drones behind the lens, Taehyung's eyes never falter, he's strong, so fucking intense and my heart swells with pride.  That is until he's hit, straight on the cheek but Taehyung instantly returns to the position he was in like it didn't affect him at all, he almost seems to be holding back a smile, Kim always was good at sustaining good composure in threatening situations. 

 

"I'll ask you again, what's your name crow?" No reply hit again. 

 

That repeats until the man seems to be getting tired of going around in circles, Taehyung looks considerably more dishevelled but he's acting like he can't feel a thing. Ghost always was and will be one of our greatest assets within the gang. You can hear the man walking away and by the way Taehyung's eyes for the first time flicker from the lens to where the man is heading I know this isn't going to be good. He breathes in heavily, and I feel my heart stop. 

 

"Taehyung," he suddenly calls out, his eyes going wide, the fear in his face breaks my heart. I only know one person who could do that to a person, I pray to every entity in the galaxy that might care to listen that my gut feeling about the rest of this video is incorrect. Please. Taehyung fights against the restraints, panic evident in his eyes, whimpering at the lack of ability to run. 

 

That's when I hear it, Boa. Oh, fuck no, please, no. God, no. This can't be happening. I watch as the body of the man I love tied to the chair is slammed onto the floor, the camera following the action like a fucking reality show, he can't move. He's stuck there. Stuck with a rapist on top of him, fucking Boa. I close my eyes; he shoves himself inside him with such force causing an agonizing cry, god the thought of Taehyung going through that. I shake my head; I can't watch. 

 

"Please! My name is Taehyung! Ah, please no!" He screams trying with all his might to get away but there's no use, he's bound to that chair before being manhandled, Boa's large hand placed violently over his mouth. His eyes squeezed shut, and I want to scream, to climb through the screen and slice that man's throat again, he did this to the person I care about more than myself. I wasn't there; I should have been there. 

 

Yoongi quickly pauses the video; it's silent for a moment, a low buzz of unspoken pain, my body trembling, Taehyung went through the same as me. For how long? Since they took him? Seven fucking months? I feel sick, why do I feel so dizzy? I turn away, panting hard, Taehyung. Why? Why did they have to do that? Does he even remember that? "That goes on for almost an hour," Yoongi whispers and I can't stop the tears from falling, "Jeongguk, there's so many of him being used like this, ones where he's awake all the way, some he's knocked out, so many gang members, kid. He's their toy." 

 

"Hyung please don't say that, please I can't cope with that!" I plea, my tears running like streams as I try to calm myself, hyung clicks to play the video at a different point. "Don't show me more; I can't." 

 

'Gukkie! Gukkie please! Jeongguk! Ow, please stop! Jeongguk!' 

 

I crumble to the floor; Boa wasn't lying. He did call for me, the tears stop falling, and I feel every inch of my body freeze, I should have tried to look for him. I lived in a fairy world thinking he would just show up one day under a sunset but there he was, being used as a gang toy. He called for me. Now he can't even remember the one person he wanted to help. I'm a fucking monster. 

 

"The later ones aren't rape, Jeongguk; he seems willing. They erased his memory as well as the knowledge that he was abused for information." This can't be happening, all I want to do is run into that other room and scoop Taehyung up and run away. Run away from the gang, away from Seoul, away from anyone who can hurt us. But I can't, it's impossible. So, just like I can't tell anyone what happened to me, I also can't tell Taehyung what happened to him, to be naively unaware of the severity of his situation is better than to be where I am, in a closed off box slowly dying from lack of self-worth. 

 

"Kid, I am so fucking sorry," hyung states after a long pause, I try to control my breathing, why is he apologising to me for? I wasn't abused for information. "I'll have to go through each of these to see if Taehyung gave them any important information. You should probably get back to him." I can't move. I can't even fucking breathe. This has to be some sick dream? No, I want to wake up and for every moment of the past seven months to be gone. I want to wake up next to him back at the apartment, for him to kiss my forehead tenderly and to tell me that I don't need to fear anything when he is beside me. I want Taehyung back. More than anything in the world, I want the man I adore to want me too. 

 

Yoongi turns back to the shelves, his eyes trained on the objects displayed so proudly. He sighs, shaking his head in sorrow, I look over at the shelving, when I look at it I almost feel like someone has stuck cotton wool in my ears in an attempt to deafen me from the reality of what it is. A static ringing of paedophilia, a pride in taking young children and destroying everything pure and innocent in their lives for what? For money? For self-gratification? For fucking control?  

 

"What about the shelves? What do we do about that?" The stacks of photo albums filled with images of children, children ranging from fucking four years old to teenagers. Many naked and in provocative situations, it's fucking vulgar, and I want nothing more than to burn every single one of those albums. Kwan is a pervert, he's a rapist, and he deserves everything we do to him when the time is right. Who in their right mind would parade those photos like works of art in a gallery? To take pride in seeing a little girl with tear stained cheeks naked and being manhandled by someone old enough to be her father? Who would actually want that? Fucking snakes that's who. 

 

Does Taehyung know about that? I mean he's been in this fucking room clearly, how does Kwan explain that? It makes me feel a little ill thinking about Taehyung turning the cheek to that, how can he even enjoy having sex in here with that to the left side of the bed? How? But then again Taehyung's mind seems to be a little fucked up, maybe Kwan just fed him another lie about those kids just looking fucking young, or maybe when they sliced his brain open they took out his ability to fucking see morally wrong situations. 

 

"I'll take photos of some; we will have to deal with that later kid, right now our main goal is to help Kim."

 

Yoongi steps forward, his hands tracing over the shelves, he hums lowly as if trying to work something out and I just watch, he's found something. Suddenly he's pulling the shelving out to reveal something that honestly makes me gag as if this couldn't get any worse. "Oh fuck," he spits under his breath, my eyes widen as I take in everything that is hidden behind the shelves, this is too far. 

 

I jolt to my feet, stumbling over my want to get there as soon as possible to see, to comprehend what the fuck that is. "Hyung," I whisper as I stand next to him gawping in disgust, Yoongi just looks back at me with cold eyes, his mouth a thin line, he's livid. "What the fuck is that?" I ask breathing in hard, I know what it is, I just don't want to believe it. This is psychotic; this is actually what you expect from a psychopath, some mass murderer, not a gang leader. 

 

"Those are children Gguk; he collects fucking bits of children!" He sneers, leaning forward and bringing out a glassed finger, he's fucking hoarding body parts. I look around at the mass of mutilated tiny fingers, toes, teeth, fucking hair, bits of dried skin, vials of blood, there's even a fucking heart. My eyes trace over the little cardboard notes pinned to each one, names and dates with their ages. 

 

A finger - 'Sojun, age 5, 19.04.'  

 

A couple teeth - 'Hana, age 9, 03.11.'

 

Blood - 'Eun jung, age 14, 17.08.'  'Taejin, age 4, 06.12.'  'Haewon, age 7, 28.07.' 

 

Heart - 'Haneul, age 10, 09.05.' 

 

There are little pictures of the kids by some, photos obviously not taken by the gang members but instead them with their families, some are tattered and worn out, others are candid shots from evident family memories. "Why?" I whisper, my throat feels like it's closing in on itself, "why?" I repeat, I really don't understand. Why children? Why do this? Why would you need to do this? Yoongi doesn't reply, his eyes trained on a photo of a young boy, his smile wide and so pure, where is he now? Where are his parents? Do they even know that all that's left of their child is a matted clump of black hair? Or a finger that they used to hold? Maybe they are hopeful wishers praying their child will return. They won't. Not when the snakes capture them, this proves that. What fucking gang does this? 

 

"We need to get him away from here hyung," I whisper, my eyes trailing to Yeontan who's eyes are blown wide as he looks at me, his head resting on his tiny paws. It's like he knows I am sad, I just reach forward and ruffle the hair on his head which in return makes him waddle over to my lap and snuggles down instantly. He's adorable, just like his owner. 

 

"Jeongguk, you do realise the relationship between Kim and Adder correct?" 

 

"Yes hyung, he's written into his contract."

 

"Kwan owns him Jeongguk; we can't get him away from here without killing him." 

 

"Hyung, I want to be the one to put the bullet in his skull, I don't care anymore, that cunt deserves it for what he's done." 

 

"I'm not going to stop you kid; I'd happily do it if it wasn't Boss's job."

 

15.58PM

"Justin?" A voice calls and I instantly shoot to my feet, Yoongi nods for me to go and with that, I carry Yeontan out of the room. I pad down the corridor to find a very dazed and sleepy Taehyung stood in the doorway rubbing his eyes profusely. "Where did you go again?" He asks that deep sleep coated voice has always been a huge weakness of mine. I squeeze past him and plop Yeontan back into his bed before jumping onto Taehyung's, the older watches or at least tries to as his eyes keep closing if he isn't careful he's going to fall over. 

 

"Yeontan wanted food, sorry I didn't mean to wake you up," I calmly reply, I try to push what I just saw out of my head, I don't want that to become the only thing I see when I look at him. The older hums, slowly falling onto his plush mattress and lying on his side centimetres away from my own body. He gazes into my eyes, sleep trying with all its might to drag him back into a deep slumber, it's so soft and genuine, a look of something I haven't seen in months. 

 

"I want you to stay with me forever, can you do that?" He asks childishly, his eyes closing and I try to hide my smile. He reaches his hand out and curls his long fingers into my hair, yawning widely. "I didn't have my nightmare; I think you protect me. Can you protect me, Justin?" 

 

"I'll protect you Taehyung, with my life."

 

"Thank you; I want you to protect me."

 

"I'd do anything for you Taehyung." 

 

"I wish things were different Justin, I really like y-" he slurs off towards the end, his mouth going lax and I know he's fallen asleep again. I sigh, pushing his hair away from his eyes and curling up into him like we used to do. I'll protect him but he doesn't realise how he's protecting me as well, I don't feel so alone when I am with him, he helps me believe that maybe I can live past what happened, that the mask is not only a ten feet tall wall barricading everyone out but also a beautiful castle where Taehyung has made a quick and easy home in, like he never left. I guess he never did. 

 

"I really like you too Tae," I whisper against his chest, floods of silent tears flood my eyes as I try to not think about how terrible everything is, I just want him to be free, to have the choice to be his own person and not someone bound like a slave to a manipulative rapist with a heavy title. I wish it was simple. I wish all of this was just a sadistic story and not my life; maybe then the narrator would take pity on us, perhaps they would give us a happy ending? Wishful thinking isn't good for gang members like myself; I know my fate. 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

09.37AM

I get abruptly woken up by Taehyung literally shoving me onto the floor, my ass hitting the ground hard as Taehyung looks down at me sympathetically. What the fuck? "Taehyung?" Kwan calls, and I instantly understand, Taehyung is quick to stumble to his feet obviously in a flurry of anxiety about me being seen and runs out the room. "Hey baby, did you sleep well?" Kwan asks almost too sweetly and when he doesn't get a reply I know that they are definitely eating each other's faces. 

 

"I missed you! I'm sorry!" Taehyung mumbles what I am guessing is either into his chest or neck; I can feel myself getting jealous as I lie on the floor with my ass pounding from the impact. "Let me make it up to you later; I hate fighting with you!" I forgot they fell out, I wonder what it was about, but I'm not sure I want the answer. Yeontan has snuck around the side of the bed and is currently licking my toes, I try to shove him away, but he just bites my toes instead. 

 

"Oh yeah? How will you make it up to me baby?" That voice, urgh, he makes me want to chainsaw myself in half, why is he acting so fucking sweet? He fucking uses him. Taehyung is obviously wary of his reply because he knows I am here, I can tell by the way his voice wavers as he tries to come up with an answer, I already know what the 'make up' will be, I mean I've seen the fucking videos. "Maybe we can do what we were supposed to do last night before you had your tantrum?" Don't think about it Jeongguk, don't fucking think about what they were going to do. 

 

"Will anyone else be joining us? Or do I have you all to myself?" Taehyung asks I don't have to see him to know he's probably swooning with a large smile, too fucking sickly sweet. Kwan hums, and the little squeal that comes from the younger tells me Kwan has put his hands somewhere. "Baby not now," he giggles breathlessly, I want to be fucking sick. 

 

"If you're a good little whore I'll treat you to just me, would you like that?" Honestly, can I fucking jump off a cliff? I want to fucking scream and run away this is literal torture. I don't want to think about this. 

 

"I'd like that, I need to make it up to you," I feel myself literally gag, why is Taehyung even enjoying being near that bunion in a fancy suit? 

 

"Hmm yeah you do baby, I'll show you how to behave," the loud smack is something I don't want to imagine but the way Taehyung is giggling like a little school girl crushes my heart to a pulp, he's actually in love with him, isn't he? He's devoted to a man that's done nothing but lie, scheme and abuse. "Let's go to your room; we can start early," my heart picks up, oh fuck no. 

 

"No, save it for later baby. We have a meeting in an hour; I invited Jimin and Justin around, by the way, they'll be here soon. I'll go get dressed, you go have a shower baby, got to look presentable for them," there's the sound of their lips touching a couple times before a low giggle is heard. I try hard to compose myself from my sudden green state, don't get fucking jealous Jeongguk. 

 

Taehyung walks back into the room, quickly shutting the door and walking around the edge of the bed to look at me. His smile falters when he sees my face, I'm trying so fucking hard to look like I didn't just hear all of that, but obviously it didn't work. Taehyung sighs, picking the small dog up that's enjoyed licking every inch of my foot and sits down on the edge of the bed looking down at me, he bites his bottom lip, why does he look so anxious? "How much of that did you hear?" He whispers playing with Yeontan's long black fur, the duality of this man confuses me. 

 

"To make you feel better I didn't hear anything," I reply sitting up, Taehyung looks away almost ashamed. "Hey, Tae don't do that. Your relationship doesn't bother me; sex is sex." His eyes flicker back to my face, his dark brows furrowed as he tries to work out what I just said. "I mean, you're in a relationship, I can't judge that. Don't be ashamed of it." 

 

"I'm not ashamed; I just don't want you hearing that," that reminds me of exactly what happened between us last night, I chuckle lightly at the deja vu feeling of the situation. "Kwan isn't my boyfriend Justin; he's just in my contract, it's hard to explain."

 

"You don't have to explain it Tae; I don't care." Liar. 

 

"Jimin will be here soon. Can you get off the floor, I'm sorry if I hurt you I panicked."

 

"Why did you panic? We were only sleeping in the same bed."

 

"Kwan doesn't take others being close to me well, he's... possessive." There goes my stomach again, doing a complete one fucking eighty. Possessive, that's the kind way of fucking describing what he is. I jump up off the floor and instantly open my arms for Taehyung to have a hug, I don't know why I am suddenly in the mood to embrace him but I am, and my smile doesn't dwindle when he jumps up and smashes his body into mine with a tight grip. He giggles, breathy smiles into my neck as he hold tightens. 

 

"Taehy-"  oh shit, I can feel Taehyung's body freeze as he clings to me like life support, my eyes opening to see the red mirrored in the man I despise. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" He spits lunging forward and grabbing Taehyung by the arm to drag him away forcefully. I don't fight it; there's no point. I don't own Taehyung. I'll fight my battle for him silently. "Taehyung fucking explain!" 

 

The younger seems paralyzed with fear; I can feel my own body tensing under his harsh gaze, he's probably killed me six different times in his mind. "K-kwan i-it isn't wha-what it looks like I-I swear!" Taehyung stands there, tears trickling down his face as the older pierces into his soul, everything about this rings alarm bells for me, this relationship is built on fear and manipulation.

 

"I-I didn't want to be a-alone, and Justin came over earlier in the night t-to keep me com-pany, we ju-just fell asleep, I swear nothing happened!" He's begging him, Kwan keep his eyes fixated on me, I'm not threatened at all, but I don't look back at him, I don't want to fight him, yet. 

 

"Go away Taehyung we have a meeting, I'll deal with you later," he sneers through grated teeth before grabbing the younger by the wrist and throwing him out of the room. Yeontan lowly growls at the older man, Kwan absentmindedly kicks the small puppy making him wail out, and I instantly jump up to grab the dog before any more damage can be done. "What the fuck do you think you're doing boy?" He hisses getting directly into my face, I keep my cool, licking my lips and smiling innocently. 

 

"The dog doesn't deserve to be kicked for my actions, Taehyung was telling the truth," I don't entertain his anger any longer, I put Yeontan down on the bed checking him over carefully, he doesn't seem injured thankfully. "Does Taehyung know you abuse his puppy?" I ask, okay, maybe I kind of do want to fire him up a little, but only so I can see how far I can push him for later purposes. Kwan just scoffs, he's instantly back in my face again, and I laugh lowly, is this all he has? Get in people's faces and hope that they back down? He's all chat. 

 

"Why do you care? Taehyung isn't any of your business, you've known him two fucking days faggot," god his breath stinks, he smells of alcohol too, brandy or scotch most likely. His eyes are trained on me; he's watching my every movement as if he's trying to find a weak spot, he won't find one. 

 

"Hey man, I don't want to fight. Taehyung had a nightmare and wanted me to stay over; I respect that he's yours. I won't step the line." Lies, lies, lies. He seems to buy it, and his forced stance of dominance seems to slightly fade, only just. "How long have you two been together? He's always talking about you," I'll just feed his ego a little, I don't want to argue, I need him to at least not despise my presence, hyung would shoot me himself if I ruined the plan before it even really started. 

 

"Since we found him," the small sneering smile of smugness makes me really want to fucking headbutt him, fucking prick. I just hum, trying my absolute fucking hardest to cover my growing anger. "He's in fucking love with me boy, he'd bend over any second of the day for this cock," he grabs his crotch vulgarly with a cackle, I try to smile, but it comes out more like a frown of repulsion.

 

"Hmm, I bet." Kwan's smile fades and turns to one of anger, his eyes narrowing as he steps into my personal space once more, is he really that insecure that he needs to try and be threatening at even the smallest comment? I thought he was meant to be a gang leader, not a fourteen-year-old pubescent teenager that bullies kids that have their heads stuck inside a book. I smile, I try my hardest to make it look like I am oblivious to his wavering need for dominance over me, I willingly back down from the silent fight, I'm being the bigger person. 

 

"When does the training start for us being Taehyung's back up dancers?" I ask kindly, it seems to throw him off slightly, he was probably too caught up in his need to be something bigger than me, sorry to pop your arrogant bubble Kwan but I am taller and better built, younger too. All in all, I'm a first class package, and he's one of those chucked in the back of a FedEx lorry like it's nothing. His reply is cut short by the sound of the door opening; I turn my eyes to the door to see Jimin stood there with a bland expression as he looks at us both. 

 

"Kwan, why is Taehyung crying?" He asks shuffling into the room and shutting the door; his eyes don't connect with mine, why do I feel like he's annoyed at me? Shit, I told him I was coming home, oh well, he'll get over it. Kwan quickly launches away from me and embraces his younger cousin in the fakest display of affection I've ever laid eyes on. Jimin's face doesn't change at all; he clearly isn't in a good mood today. 

 

"How is my little cousin doing?" Kwan asks trying to ignore Jimin's questioning. I stand there watching the two of them; there's this evident unresolved tension that's probably been brewing for years, Jimin never did tell me why Kwan seems to be his only family member he speaks to. I see the photo of his mother whenever I go into his room, but I've never built up the courage to ask him. I've never felt like it was my place. I notice Jimin has covered up the love bites; the older runs his tongue across his teeth in annoyance as he crosses his arms hard. 

 

"Kwan answer my question, why is Taehyung crying?" That voice is icy, like a sharp gust of wind chilling your veins as his eyes narrow hard with this strong sense of disapproval. Jimin isn't in a good mood that's for fucking sure. Kwan just chuckles awkwardly, his eyes tracing back to me as I stand there, he nudges his head towards me and confidently raises his eyebrows in a smirk. 

 

"Why don't you ask Mr lover boy here, my dear little cousin," Jimin's eyes falter, he clearly doesn't want to look at me, and his jaw clenches a couple times before he finally snaps eyes onto my face. I just blankly stare back, Kwan sniggering. "Oops, wasn't he meant to spend the night with you? Wasn't that what you told me, little cousin?" He's enjoying himself, "what was it you said again? Oh, that's it, you said that you finally felt happy with someone, isn't that cute! My little cousin is a faggot!" The voice is littered with anger and hostility, I don't fucking understand him, he was literally bragging about having Taehyung bend over whenever he wants, but myself and Jimin are the faggots here? Okay, mate, pipe down with your fucking double standards of homophobia. 

 

"That isn't what I said Kwan, and you know it." Jimin spits through gritted teeth, Kwan just chuckles inwardly obviously enjoying the show of excruciating growing tension around the two of us. 

 

"Has he fucked you yet? Has my little cousin been a bad boy and disobeyed Mummy?" He pouts patronizingly, and the way Jimin's eyes falter to the floor makes me really want to fucking hit that cunt. Is this all he does? Degrade and torture people so he can feel better about himself? Fucking spineless prick. 

 

"No. There isn't anything between us Kwan, you know I am not gay." Jimin barely speaks, his whole posture changing to one of guilt and sorrow, Kwan seems to be wallowing joyfully through his younger relatives current state. 

 

"Good you better fucking not be, Mummy wouldn't be pleased that her precious baby is the son of the Devil now would she little baby Chimmy!" He pinches his cheeks and Jimin tries to bat him away unsuccessfully. "Think how Mummy would feel to know her son likes dick, her precious little angel taking someone's cock so well, maybe we should send you back to the healers?"

 

"No." Jimin quickly snaps, his eyes trying their hardest to maintain eye contact with his older cousin but he's struggling. Healers? It isn't my place to question it; it isn't any of my business unless Jimin decides to share it with me. Kwan is really fucking enjoying this, he squishes Jimin's cheeks again before leaning in close and whispering something I cannot even begin to hear, but Jimin's eyes snap onto me as he continues whispering. I watch the older gulp and nod his head shortly. 

 

"Now, where's my disobedient slut?" Kwan removes his hand from Jimin and turns towards the door, "Taehyung you better be fucking ready, baby!" Kwan bellows as he quickly removes himself from the room, Yeontan growling once more at him. I hear him talking to Taehyung in the hallway, scolding him for something before there's a little giggle, I don't need to see it to know that Kwan's probably showing Taehyung what happens when he's bad. 

 

Jimin and I don't talk; we don't even look at each other for a good few minutes, both of us just listening to the sounds of lips smooching and low moans of pleasure. How can Taehyung even enjoy being near that man? He's fucking repulsive. 

 

"Sorry I didn't come home, Taehyung wanted me to stay," I mumble trying to look over at the older who's stood there with his head down and hands tucked slightly inside his jean pockets. 

 

"I understand, Taehyung comes first." 

 

"Jimin."

 

"I don't want to talk about this now Jeongguk; we have something so much more fucking important than how we feel about one another right now. Leave it for later." His tone is so fucking icy, his eyes never looking at me, his whole posture exudes an unprecedented sense of anger, why is he angry at me? I didn't do anything wrong, did I?

 

"Did hyung tell you what we found earlier?" I whisper lowly, Jimin just nods with a slight hum, his eyes flicking over to Taehyung's bed. I watch his jaw clench at the state of his bed, his eyes fixing on me for a second as if trying to work something I don't understand out before he giggles to himself humorlessly and walks out the room. I just stand there in a confused daze, what is his problem all of a sudden? I thought we agreed that if one of us was upset, we would tell the other? I knew I shouldn't have fucking slept with him. God Jeongguk you're such a fucking pathetic loser. 

 

"Justin!" Taehyung calls and I quickly leave the room to find Taehyung stood there with a new set of clothes on, it's just a pale blue buttoned shirt with flowered embroidery on the collar, he's wearing a pair of dark grey slacks that adorn his figure perfectly, he's got just small studs in his ears, he's left his blue contacts out, and those coffee stained eyes look so beautiful under the sun. His eyes smile brightly at me, you can tell he's been crying from the redness of his under eyes, but he's skillfully placed makeup on his face to hide it. His lips are swollen, something I don't want to notice, but it's hard not to. 

 

I reach where he's stood in the living room, his hair waved and messy but so fucking pretty and I just find myself gawping. I become so lost in his beauty that I don't even have any thoughts; it's just him. That's when I see his lips move and I furrow my brows to try and make my brain work, "I have a meeting this morning, some interviews this afternoon and some promotion stuff, I asked Jimin and you to be here so you can go over to BigHit and start learning the choreography for some of the songs we will be performing soon, I know it's short notice but I think you can do it." His voice is so sweetly deep, a cave of the bluest water that ripples against your ears in waves of tranquillity. That is until I hear a sharp scoff from my right, Kwan stands there with Jimin, both staring at the two of us with the same hard expression. 

 

"Taehyung stop fucking talking to him like you're in love with him. Let's go; Cobra is waiting," Taehyung's eyes fall to the floor at those words, he waits for Kwan to start walking towards the door away from us before he brings me into a hard hug that for any account is far too long to get be just a friendly goodbye. 

 

"Thank you for staying last night, I'm sorry he had to ruin it this morning," he whispers against my ear, it's far too much, a soothing remedy for anything wrong in your life, his voice heals me and I know that's fucking cliche as shit but I haven't worried at all, I haven't fallen into the rabbit hole of self-hatred since the moment it was just him and I last night. I do want to protect him. Taehyung is quickly pulling away, his hand squeezing my bicep sneakily before strutting over to Jimin and engulfing him in a quick hug. "Jiminie we will have to have a sleepover soon, you can tell me all about whoever that is," he giggles happily as he points at the hidden marks, Jimin just stares at me before giggling in return to the younger. 

 

"I'll see you both later for practice! I love you!" He cheerfully sings before skipping out the apartment after Kwan and Cobra. As soon as the door shuts, it's silent between us. It's too fucking awkward. I just head back to Taehyung's room to grab my things, Jimin doesn't follow. I wish he would; I want to sort whatever this is between us that's happened so abruptly. I just hear him mumble about us needing to leave so we can get as much practice in as possible and I just know he's going to ignore every chance I make to ask what's wrong. I think I know, but I honestly don't want it to be true, I don't want to regret what happened between us but those feelings are rooting quickly, and soon they'll have woven their vines all over my mind until there's not even a spec of pleasure from what we did. Jimin said it himself, he wants to be friends, so why is he acting like this? In the big scale of things what happened between us was nothing. For me anyway. 

 

"Yoongi set up cameras in some of the rooms before he left," Jimin mumbles as I walk back into the living room area, he points to the tiniest camera in the kitchen, "he said there's one in this room, two in the bad room and he installed one in Taehyung's room as well," I already know this because I was still awake when Yoongi came in trying to find a good spot to hide it, I just pointed to his desk and he wired it sneakily into the books, they won't find them. I just nod, I don't really have anything to say to Jimin whilst he's in this attitude, I don't want to add fuel to the fire, so my silence is probably the best resolution to the issue at the moment. 

 

"Let's go, Kwan is trusting me in his house so we better not stay too long, he definitely has men outside watching how long we take," I nod again, Yeontan comes bounding into the room like he sensed we were leaving. I look down at him with my lip jutted out as he whines, he doesn't want us to go. Jimin is already making his way to the door when I grab the small puppy and hold him in my arms as he belongs there. He sniffs my face a couple times before vehemently licking it, I just let out a breathy laugh trying to push the small dog away, but it's no use. "We can't bring him with us," Jimin snaps making the Pomeranian stop instantly and stare helplessly at the blonde boy. This dog is fucking smart. 

 

"He'll be here by himself all day, that's cruel. He clearly doesn't to be left alone, it's fine," I bat Jimin's annoyance away as I zoom past him and out the door clutching the black puppy to my chest, so he doesn't try and snatch him away. Jimin mumbles curses under his breath about how irritating I am, and usually I would bite back with a sarcastic comment but I can tell Jimin is being hostile and not playful. I'll have to have a word with him later; this can't continue. 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

The first time I stepped foot into the building owned by one of the most famous CEOs of not only Korea but the world I was shocked. Words couldn't even begin to comprehend my thoughts when I discovered that that man, the man plastered over the news as the 'saviour of Korea' was, in fact, a multi-millionaire in gang crime. Kim Seokjin, a name everyone knows, a face everyone loves is also the leader of the most feared gang to ever be in Seoul, that is... remarkable. 

 

I never thought at the age of fourteen I would be picked up and shoved into the back of a black convertible to only be taken to Gangnam to meet the unknown, the mysterious, instantly feared 'Boss'. Honestly, I've had to pinch myself a couple times just to make sure I'm not dreaming, this feels like a dream. Mum would probably tell me I've been watching too many action movies before bed, an unhealthy 'addiction' I have apparently. 'You watch too many superhero movies Jeongguk! It isn't good for you to be indulging in false ideals of what makes someone a hero.' Then she would go off on a tangent about me being my own superhero and not needing the likes of Captain America or Tony Stark to tell me what makes someone capable of saving the world. Seriously, I don't want to be some higher being with a gift, I just like the idea of having enough power to have people fear and adore you. Not in a Mussolini type of way where power only comes from fear but just enough that I can control what happens to me, I don't like the idea of fate. 

 

"Boss we have someone here we want you to meet," Hoseok declares after knocking on the door to the eighth floor, I can't take my eyes off the view that's adorning the hallway towards his office. I've never seen Seoul like this before, only in pictures, I've never wanted to see it but now, looking out at the mass of skyscrapers and lights I feel something towards the city I've never felt. I'm going to be a part of a gang, the gang, that owns all of this. They own Seoul; this landscape isn't just a view, it’s my view, all of that is within my grasp. I feel like that scene in the Lion King; you know the one where he's like 'everything the light touches is ours', yeah, that's me right now. I'm not just some boy from Busan anymore, I'm a gang member, they chose me. 

 

I feel Yoongi pushing my back into the office and away from the view that I was carelessly engulfed in, I turn to look at the black haired man I've grown to like in the past however long I've been in a car with him. He seems like he has layers, and no I am not going to say something cliche like I want to peel those layers and see what's there because that's fucking stupid, but I do want to get to know him, I hope we become friends, I want to be friends with him. I want him to be my hyung that I can turn to. He'll be like the brother I never had. 

 

"This is Jeongguk," Yoongi hums in his usual deep voice, my eyes snap onto the man that sticks out like a sore thumb compared to the two men coated in black attire. I feel my eyes widen to extensive proportions as I take in his features. I've only ever seen him on the television or in the newspapers; they do him no justice. Kim Seokjin, just the name exudes supremacy, I can tell you now this isn't who I thought 'Boss' would be. The man stood before me is something else, I am in awe. Starstruck if you want to call it anything. This is so fucking surreal.

 

He's wearing this two-piece burgundy suit, he has a black turtleneck on, and silver-rimmed glasses, his hair is a light brown, it's simplistic but effective. I feel myself shift under his gaze, the way he is scaving over my body as if trying to work out why the two brought me here is questionable. I feel myself holding my breath as he stands from his seat at his desk, the soft leather squeaking under the weight change, his face isn't giving any hints as if he is cautious of my sudden arrival. 

 

"How old are you, Jeongguk?" Is that his first question? Really? I know I have to reply quickly, I can't come across as something weak, I'm in danger right now, not out of the woods entirely, I know I have to impress him, he's the only thing standing in the way of me having a bullet in my skull and my body floating at the bottom of the Han. 

 

"Fourteen, sir," I reply quickly, my posture straightening just like his,  I try to copy his demeanour, I feel myself trying to be just like him, I want to be like him. His eyes wander from mine to Yoongi and Hoseok's; they seem to be having a silent conversation. Stay confident Jeongguk, don't crumble. This is a gang, a gang that will show you no mercy if you fuck up, so don't fuck up. 

 

"Sir isn't necessary, Boss or Hyung will suffice," does that mean what I think it means? Really? That quick? Boy, I thought I'd need an initiation or something stereotypical like that. "I trust you know who I am Jeongguk, tell me, can we trust you with that information?" 

 

"Yes, Boss."

 

"Good, Min take him to the Nest, show him around, teach him the basics. Jung, find Kim, I want him to prepare training." Both nod without a blink of an eye, this man holds so much authority its almost scary, to be honest, I probably would be scared if I wasn't completely in awe at the man. He isn't even that old; he's literally only just taken over the business from his Dad, how does he already own the most feared gang? 

 

 

"Fuck off! That isn't actually Boss!" I exclaim as soon as we are back in the car, Yoongi and Hoseok seem surprised by my sudden outburst and a little chuckle releases from both their mouths. Hoseok reaches behind and pats the back of my head with a nod; I don't believe it. "Fuck off!" I exclaim again, I can't wipe the smile off of my face, this is fucking insane, today has been mental. 

 

"Fuck off," I repeat for the hundredth millionth time, and Yoongi seems to have has enough, Hoseok continues driving as the other twists his body to get a better look at me, his eyes wide and clearly annoyed, I just smirk, have I found my new favourite person to torment?

 

"Yes, that is our Boss, and no, I will not fuck off! Now shut up."

 

 

 


 

 

 

17.41PM

Dancing is fucking exhausting, I've never felt so out of breath but something about moving my body in such a rhythmic way dilutes any feeling of fatigue, it's just myself and the music. I should have known I would like dance, I've always been athletic, always preferring my body to be moving, to feel like I am floating or flying. I gave up running when I left school, it wasn't needed when I became a Sasin, it was more about weights and agility, but now, I've found a new home in dance. 

 

Jimin still isn't talking to me, he's been by my side the whole time with the six other dancers, and he's kept quite close proximity, but nothing has been spoken between us. The other dancers quickly took to Yeontan being here, he's been good and sat in the corner of the practice room watching us with his tongue stuck out and ears perked upwards in enjoyment at hearing Taehyung sing. I took some photos of him to show Taehyung later; I know he'll want to see that after a day of doing promotions. 

 

We've been practising routines since we got here at quarter past ten, with only fifteen-minute intervals, I know I need to speak to Jimin. I have to somehow clear this unknown fog surrounding our relationship; we cannot continue going on like this; so that's why I am happy to hear that we have a break longer than a quarter of an hour. "Jimin," I speak softly, the blonde boy is sat on the floor stretching, he's doing the splits and I know it isn't the correct time to gawp but shit, his ass looks amazing. He doesn't react to me calling out to him; he's evidently ignoring me. "Jimin," I repeat again as I look down at him through my sweaty hair, I am absolutely drenched in sweat, and I really need to go shower.

 

The other dancers have huddled in the corner talking about all going out to grab some food together. "Jimin, Justin, are you coming to grab something to eat?" One man, I think his name was Soonyoung asks, I look down at Jimin who is showing no interest in replying, why is he being so rude? I just politely decline the offer for both of us, and soon the other dancers are leaving, and it's just myself, and Jimin left, oh and Yeontan who is now asleep in the corner. 

 

"Why are you so rude?" I ask wiping my forehead with the back of my hand before grabbing a bottle of water and downing it, god I am so dehydrated. Jimin again doesn't reply; he doesn't even lift his head. Okay, this is like super fucking childish. "Jimin, stop being so rude," I snap and the blonde boy jolts to his feet and storms out the door, I sigh, my eyes rolling back into my head before I follow him out of the room. 

 

He's marching down the corridor and I just silently follow him, I don't think he really knows where he is going, to be honest. I try not to look at his backside in those tight leggings he's wearing, but it's pretty fucking impossible. Jimin barges into the changing rooms, and I am quick to follow, he turns to see my behind him and stops, standing in the middle of the locker room with his eyes trained on me, this is the longest he's looked at me all day. It's different, his eyes dark and I am not sure what he's trying to express, I just feel my brows twitching in confusion as he steps towards me, pressing me against the door before his hand locks it. I stare down at him, what's happening? 

 

Before I can ask him why he's locked us in a sweaty locker room his lips are attached to mine, it takes a second for me to process what's happening considering he hasn't spoken more than twenty words to me today, but I am soon reciprocating and getting lost in his body. In that touch.  So many emotions coming into play as his arms wrap around my neck, my eyes shut tight as I indulge myself on the feeling of Jimin, I shouldn't be doing this. 

 

It's all happening so fast, one moment I'm against the door and the next his legs are curled around my waist as I carry him further into the empty space of the locker room, only the sound of our breathing and low moans encapsulating the echoes of silence. I don't think, I don't allow myself to think about what I am doing, I know it's wrong of me, but I can't seem to say no, Jimin has put me under a spell. I can tell he's trying to tell me something; he's eliciting his anger into the kisses, the way his hands tighten on my back, his grip around my waist just as strong, those eyes heavy as we take a moment to breathe. Should I really be doing this again? Probably not. Am I going to? Absolutely. 

 

I can hate myself for it later, right now I'm more preoccupied with the feeling of Jimin's hands roaming over my sweat coated skin, his nails clawing at my clothing in an attempt to pull my top off, I laugh lowly as he lets out a sharp grumble at it not budging. I put him down, his dark eyes never leaving my eyes as I pull my shirt off and his lips are instantly smashing back onto mine with such vemehent that you would think he's trying to knock me out. It's almost like he's acting like this will be the last time, I hope not, I'm addicted to the feeling of his plump lips against mine. 

 

Jimin seems to be growing impatient, the kissing not being enough as he drags me into the showers, he quickly undresses, before tugging at my joggers in a querulous manner. Again, I take over, stripping from my trousers but leaving my underwear on, his eyes dagger into mine in irritation, I'm not going to just give it to him like that. He stands there, he's clearly still pissed off at me, but the sexual tension is thicker than anything else, I just want him now. 

 

I quickly step into the shower, the water battering at my skin as I wait for the blonde boy to join me, I reach out my hand in anticipation for him to take it. He doesn't. Instead, he bats my hand away and quickly snarls me into a hot kiss, water dripping into my eyes painfully but his tongue playing with mine seems to be like morphine to a wound. He's soon moaning, obviously wanting more and I smirk, even when angry he's still a whiny mess. I unhesitatingly grab his ass, pulling him into another sloppy kiss, his hands roaming across my water slicked body before his fingers curl under the hem of my underwear that's thoroughly soaked. Thinking about it now that wasn't the best idea; now I'll have to go commando for the rest of dance practice with tight joggers on, oh fuck, let's hope it isn't noticeable. 

 

We still haven't said a word to one another, I don't think he'll start a conversation, and I'm not sure I want him to, not at this moment anyway. I am about to say something when Jimin is suddenly kneeling on the floor, my eyes widening as he yanks down my pants with no mercy to my member that's tenderly hot. I jam my eyes shut quickly at the feeling of Jimin's hand wrapping around the base; I let out a gasp as he pumps a couple times, this is okay, it's just a hand job Jeongguk. 

 

That's until unfamiliar hot wetness engulfs my length, I look down to see Jimin's lips so prettily wrapped around my member, my mouth gaping as his eyes snap onto mine, this is too fucking much. I've dreamt of this, secretly wanting Jimin's sinful lips cascading across every inch of my body like silk, it's too much. I let out a shaky breath as Jimin willingly throats my whole member, I feel it hitting the back of his pharynx, he doesn't even gag, and my eyes widen in amazement at how well he's bobbing back and forth so diligently. 

 

The feeling is something else, my head tilting back as I prop myself against the shower trying to stay on my two feet as he swallows me thickly, his hands trailing up and down my thighs, his touch burning as I hiss between my teeth at the sensations he is making me feel. I've never felt anything like it; it's too much. He hums in contempt, "ah fuck!" I groan my mouth wide as Jimin bobs up and down, his tongue swivelling around the tip before eating me whole once more.

 

I grab onto his water soaked hair; this is too fucking much. "Ah Jimin! Fuck you feel so good!" I croon, finding it hard to keep my eyes open but I want to watch the masterpiece which is his thick lips skillfully encircling my length. 

 

I accidentally thrust into him trying to find some release, and he gags slightly but doesn't pull away, tears smudging at the corners of his pretty eyes and I thumb them away with a soft apology. His hands grab at my thighs for support, humming at the thickness, fuck, he really does things to me.

 

"Feels so goo- ah fuck!" I hiss as his teeth graze along the vein on the underside, my hand snatching his hair but he only makes a sound of pleasure. His eyes teasingly latching onto mine with a knowing grin as he sadistically nibbles at the tip, making me let out a disgruntled choke of pleasure, he giggles before tonguing at the slit, what am I doing? This is too much. 

 

I don't use my brain when I'm suddenly pulling him away, he stands knowingly, practically presenting me his beautifully sculpted ass as I tenderly pull him into me. His head falling back against my shoulder with a breathy sigh as my length rubs against his entrance, this is too much, we shouldn't be doing this. I kiss the side of his face, along his cheekbone and down his neck, his hand reaching back to curl into my sodden hair, he's whining again, his lips slick and raw, he looks so beautiful under the waterfall, the droplets glimmering off his silken skin like an Angel, Jimin is my Angel. Heaven on Earth, a being too good for a sinner like myself. 

 

"Ready," he whispers, those are the only words he's spoken to me in hours, and I couldn't wish for anything better to be said. I waste no time in lining myself up and eagerly pushing inside, I missed those moans, I missed the tightness of him around me, the way his body seems to fit just perfectly, he's my Angel, a sin on Earth. 

 

I wait for him to nod, to assure me that this is okay, that he wants it. I hold onto him gently, my hands soothing the sides of his body like delicate china, I don't want him to break, he's my Angel. 

 

With each thrust I feel myself falling deeper and deeper into the obscurity of what is a reality, Jimin is here, with me, inside him, I'm enjoying it. Maybe a little too much. Is it just sex? Is this what it is for him? I think that's what it should be but the way Jimin's head is leaning against my chest, it doesn't feel as lustfully driven, it feels as if two souls are coming together, binding into one act. I've never felt this, with anyone. I'm scared of it. So fucking terrified of what that means. This is too much. 

 

It isn't until Jimin reaches his peak that I see blindly through the fog, a dimmed light trying to lead the way, this is more than sex. The thought pulls me over the edge, over the cliff and I go tumbling down the hillside to the rocky ravine at the bottom, Jimin isn't there to guide me. Before I can even begin to pick myself up, the feeling of his body against mine has vanished, so has his body, I don't even recognise him grabbing his clothes and instantaneously leaving without even looking back. The water suddenly excruciatingly loud as it pummels my skin. I don't know what I expected. That wasn't it though.  

 

He left me. 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

18.43PM

I don't leave the safety of the locker room for what seems like hours but in reality was probably only a couple of minutes, the drone of silence subsumes my entire entity, he just left. I wanted to tell him what's been playing on my mind; the mask slipped from my grasp as I held him close and now I'm unsure if I could even find the courage to explain how I felt in that moment. Jimin is more to me than what I would be willing to express, a thousand words muted by fear, torn to shreds by seeds of doubt; I can't. 

 

"Justin?" A voice calls and I instantly snap my head up, Taehyung hesitantly strolls into the locker room, I've been sat on a bench for however long just allowing my hair to dampen my clothes, I can't bring myself to dry it off, my energy seems to have been drained the moment Jimin walked away. "Hey, I've been looking for you," I keep my eyes closed, my head falling back to the floor with the weight of my thoughts feeling like lead, I can hear his footsteps approaching, soft and so fucking gentle. I wish it wasn't like this. I wish it wasn't so complicated. 

 

He just stands there for a while, probably inspecting my mood, I know him too well, he's probably nibbling at his bottom lip, his strong brows furrowed as he takes in my body language and lack of speech. It isn't until I feel the warmth of a towel smoothly caressing my locks that I look up, I didn't notice him walking towards me, his genuine smile beaming down as he cares for me. "You shouldn't leave your hair wet like that, you'll catch a cold," that voice, I just nod slightly, gulping before returning to look at my feet. He hums, tussling the towel through my hair diligently trying to catch every drop of water, "there," he says with pride as he steps back to look at my probable fluffy looking hair and he giggles. "Cute," he breathes out, putting his bottom lip between his teeth as he smiles widely. I try to smile back, but my heart feels so heavy. I don't know why, there's too much to comprehend. 

 

"What's happened between you and Jimin? Is everything okay?" I just shake my head, I feel like I'm getting choked up and I don't really know why. Everything is just too much. "Have you tried talking to him? Is he upset about you staying over?" I shrug, Taehyung sighs rubbing his head with his bottom lip jutted on as he tries to think of something, probably anything to get me to have a conversation with him. I know I'm not easy, but my heart feels like it's blocking my ability to breathe. 

 

"We had sex," I blurt out, Taehyung's attention fully adsorbed into my words, I don't recognise his breathing hitching as he nods with a pained smile. "I don't know what's happened Tae, he won't talk to me, I don't know what to do, he's my best friend and he won't even look me in the eyes," Taehyung crouches on the floor in front of me, his hands reaching out to grab mine as he makes me look at him, his features so gentle as he's filled with empathy. 

 

"Give him time, that's a huge step in any relationship Justin, you clearly adore one another, just let him breathe for a while okay?" I nod, why is he so understanding? I kind of wanted him to be jealous; I think that's the main reason I told him, I wanted to see if he would react as he used to when I spoke about Eunha, who am I kidding? Of course, he wouldn't care like that. "When did this happen?" He asks carding his fingers through my messy hair in an attempt to move it away from my eyes, I just stare at his lips, so glossy and beautiful. Fuck sake Jeongguk, pull yourself together. You can't have him. Stop. 

 

"Yesterday," his eyes flicker onto me in confusion, "yesterday morning," I elaborate and his eyes latch onto mine as they narrow, did I say something wrong? "It just kind of happened, at the moment I wanted it you know? But looking at it now I'm not too sure, I've ruined our friendship, we agreed it would only be two friends messing around, but I think-" I don't finish that sentence, I'm far too scared to admit that, Taehyung doesn't push it at all. He just pulls me into a hug, the fragrance he's wearing adorning my senses as I burrow my face into his neck, I allow myself to go pliant against his hold, I still want him. 

 

I suddenly feel a warm pressure pressed against my head, it's so familiar, I lift my head from his neck to look into those eyes, so brown and filled with this exuberance for life, a jovial willingness to explore, I can't look away, I just go deeper and deeper into his true being, he's still the same boy I fell in love with. I wish when he looks into my eyes he would feel the same nostalgia, my eyes are probably so foreign and unexplored, but his, it's a map I've travelled a thousand times over. A home I'd lost, and now I've been given the key again. God, I miss him. Taehyung smiles, his eyes forming crescents before he's literally booping my nose, he giggles before chastely kissing my forehead, my heart stops at the warmth of his lips, but it's soon gone. The feeling radiates, my once fogged mind becomes a beacon of enlightenment, I found my way out. 

 

He's leaning forward again and softly kissing my nose, it's a sensation I forgot long ago, but I never want it to leave not now. I know these kisses to him are platonic, a sense of him trying to get to me to smile, which I might add he's done with flying colours, but it's also like he's trying to remember something. "Feeling better now?" He asks squishing my cheeks as he scrunches his nose, I just nod, my eyes wide as I stare back at him, that smile never fades.

 

"Awh Justin! You're so cute!" He squeals, cooing at me and I really want to bat him away, he should know I hate being babied, most of the time anyway. This is one of those rare occasions where I'll take any contact I can get, even if it resulted in my pride being diminished to my cheeks being pinched and cooed at like I'm a four year old. "Come on; we have to go finish practising, do you like the routines?" I nod, those kisses have taken my ability to speak. Actually I am refraining from using my voice because I know it will probably come out as a very embarrassing high pitched squeak, I am not up for humiliation today. 

 

"Oh! Thank you for bringing Tannie!" Taehyung squeals suddenly remembering and turning to face me as we walk out of the locker room, his smile so candid and truthful, Kim never used to smile like that, it throws me off slightly, is he happier now? Is that what this is? A genuine emotion of being happy? Is he happier without knowing who I am? I don't want to think about that. The possibility that Taehyung's life is more buoyant and favourable without my presence as someone he knows hurts me, it sends a heaviness to my heart, the lead returning to pull me down into the depths of self-doubt, I guess this just adds to how pathetic I am. I shouldn't let myself think like this; I am a Sasin, I am strong, and this is nothing. 

 

"I took some photos to show you," I say quietly, his face lighting up like the moon and I feel so at home, he's luminescent in the greyness that is my world, his strength pulling my tide in at night, the magnetic drumming of something I lost, why do I allow him to make me feel so empty but yet so full? He has the ability to make me see stars, to show me the galaxies and their abundance of colours exploding in the black emptiness of space but still, still there is that lost hope, a heartbroken cry that I am in this on my own, alone with my thoughts and the feelings of the unknown, my head has never felt so conflicted. Maybe I should tell Taehyung about what happened to me? I mean, it's not like he can judge me off my status in the gang, he can't diminish my title from me and see me as something less than Sniper, he doesn't know me. He just sees Justin and maybe if Justin is the one that was harmed, Jeongguk can't be? Does that make sense? I don't know anymore. I just want to go back and be myself again. I hate feeling lost within my own flesh. 

 

"Can I see them?" His voice truly is like the light through the storm, just four words somehow are able to bring me back, pull me out of the hurricane violently harassing my mind, the eye of the storm, the beacon that I am okay, that these shackles can be broken and my mind freed from the torment of myself. It's a constant battle, but he seems to wave the white flag, just his smile, that fucking smile, I shouldn't let him have this much control over me but can you blame me? He's been my everything since I was fifteen, I don't want him to go. 

 

"Maybe later, we should get back otherwise Kwan is going to wonder where you got to," I mumble, Taehyung's face drops and his eyes flicker to the floor, I hate that man, he destroys the orchid that is Taehyung, the violent sunlight that scorches the delicate petals of his heart, but still he grows. "How were your meetings? Did everything go okay?" I ask, and Taehyung's face seems to perk up slightly, a soft smile caressing his lips as we walk alongside one another down the corridor, his arm barely brushing against mine but it's there, I can feel it. 

 

"Stressful, but I'm excited. this is what I want to do with my life Justin, and I've finally been given the opportunity, I don't want to mess it up," I hum, I can sense the anxiety like treacle on his tongue, his words sickly sweet as he giggles nervously. I turn my head to look at the older, a wry smile placed on his face and I stop. His eyes are furrowing as he stops as well, turning his body towards mine, just waiting to see what I have to say. 

 

"Tell me what's on your mind Tae," his mouth opens just slightly, he's probably wondering how I knew something was toying inside that pretty head of his. I giggle, tapping his head gently with my index finger, "I can tell somethings upsetting you, come on, a problem shared is a problem solved," Taehyung's eyes latch onto him with this undeniable sense of gratitude, Taehyung never did like to keep his thoughts to himself, even the smallest issue he would always come running and vent it to me, he used to think I didn't listen, now I am all ears. 

 

"Isn't it a problem halved?" He questions, I just bat it away. 

 

"Potato, potato," he giggles at that before looking down at his feet, he scuffs his heel along the flooring anxiously. "What is it?" I ask softly; I hesitantly go to caress his arm, I just want him to know I am there, for him to be able to tell me things without worrying. Maybe I should take my own advice one day. One day maybe. 

 

"It's just," he starts, sighing loudly, he's obviously conflicted about what to say, "my whole career is kind of..." he's really struggling, I keep my expression placid, just nodding slowly, so he knows it's okay. "it's a lie, I'm not a real idol, it's a front," I try not to show my confusion, a front? "Kwan he, he needs me? I can't really say, but my contract binds me to him, Justin, I have to do everything he says, he doesn't know I know this. I know I haven't been training to be an idol since I was fourteen," he's sputtering, his eyes darting around the corridor in fear that someone will hear. "Just, I know it doesn't make sense, it's annoying me. I am an idol, but I'm not? I don't know what I am saying, just ignore me, I shouldn't have said anything." He goes to walk away; his voice agitated by his inability to understand himself. I just snap my hand around his arm, pulling him back and he stands there wide-eyed as I do something I probably shouldn't do, but I can't resist. 

 

"You're right," I whisper, his eyes trained on mine in shock, I lick my lips preparing myself for something I will regret, but I can't let him go without understanding at least something. "You shouldn't trust Kwan Taehyung, just, listen to your instincts more, don't let what they say to you sway you from what you think the truth is, okay?" Taehyung pushes himself away from me, oh shit. His eyes narrow and lips firm, he stands there with this colossal guard up, he's clearly trying to work out everything I just said. I shouldn't have said that. Oh fuck. 

 

"How do you know this Justin?" His voice eerily bland, he's trying to hide his emotions, and I feel my heart begin to pick up, fuck I shouldn't have said anything. "I've known Kwan longer than you, heck, I love him and you expect me to trust you over him?" I violently shake my head trying to move closer, but he instantly backs away. "How do you know this stuff, Justin? Why wouldn't I trust him?" 

 

"Taehyung that isn't what I meant, you told me that the stuff inside your head doesn't always match up to what you're being told, all I am trying to say is don't always believe their word against your own." I panic, my eyes wide and voice jittery; he doesn't move, he doesn't even blink as he chews over my words. 

 

"Please don't tell me not to trust Kwan, I love him, Justin. I have to love him. Don't plant seeds of doubt; I can't handle that!" He snaps before snapping his head away and quickly pacing down the corridor. I stand there watching the second person walk away from me today, why do I do this? A copious amount of anger rushes through my body, and I instantly punch the wall letting out a gargled yelp of annoyance. I'm a fucking idiot. Why did I even begin to think he would believe what I said over the words of a man who's been forced down his throat, he can't breathe without Kwan, I've ruined everything. 

 

 

23 .47PM

 'Kid sort your fucking issue out with Park.' 

 

'Hyung he isn't talking to me, I can't.'

 

'No, you can, you're just choosing not to because you're scared.'

 

'Hyung, I've fucked up, haven't I?'

 

'Can't do much about it now kid. Boss wants you to go by his office tomorrow.'

 

'Hyung I can't go there.'

 

'Why not?'

 

'I just, please don't make me go there.'

 

'Kid? Are you okay?'

 

'Not really hyung. Fuck, I don't know what's happening to me hyung.'

 

'Kid, relax. Talk to me.'

 

'I can't hyung. I really fucking can't.'

 

'Yes you can, just talk.'

 

'Taehyung told me he knows he hasn't been training since he was fourteen, he knows he's being lied to, and I told him not to trust Kwan.'

 

'You're a fucking moron.'

 

'I know hyung! Fuck, he loves him, and I told him not to trust the person he's in fucking love with!'

 

'Jeongguk... Taehyung doesn't love Kwan; you do know that right?'

 

'Hyung, you don't see them together.'

 

'Jeongguk I've watched the tapes, I can tell you now, Taehyung doesn't love Kwan.'

 

'That doesn't make me feel any better, hyung. He doesn't even know I exist anymore. Fuck I don't even think I do exist, my mind hyung. I'm fucked up.'

 

'Kid, calm down, stop thinking like that, alright? You're okay.'

 

'I'm not, I'm really fucking not okay.'

 

'Why?'

 

'I-, I can't say hyung. Please don't make me say it.'

 

'I'm worried kid, you've changed over the past couple days, what happened?'

 

'Nothing, hyung, I'm fine.'

 

'Okay, see you're okay.'

 

'Yeah.. I'm okay.'

 

'Right now go talk to Park, you're going to Boss tomorrow, no excuses.'

 

'Right, yeah, no excuses.'

 

'I'll see you tomorrow kid.'

 

'Yeah, bye hyung.'

 

The petulant silence reverberating throughout the apartment sets my teeth on edge, Jimin is too quiet. I hate it. I hate this. I want to talk to him, take hyung's advice and speak it out but the thoughts linger in the back of my head, I did this to us. I find myself stood outside his room just waiting; I don't know what for but I'm waiting. You should have seen his face when I returned to the practice room, his and Kim's. God, the two people I care for most in the world, are not happy with me; I guess I am alone now. 

 

I can't go in there; I don't want to disturb him at all, maybe leaving him to calm down would be best? That's probably the only solution, god, why do I do this to myself? I'm an assassin, I'm supposed to thrive in situations where I am under threat but I just feel myself slowly slipping away, slowly losing myself and I'm terrified. Not just because Jimin and Taehyung are not talking to me, I don't like it, but I can survive that, we can move past it eventually, but I'm so fucking terrified for myself. Those touches still scorch my flesh like a wildfire, those whispers in the back of my head laughing valiantly. I want to cry, to breakdown and run away but I can't. I continuously have to pick myself back up, force myself on my own two feet because no one is there to catch me, I'm a fledgeling with his wings tied to the ground, unable to spread my wings and soar like a Sasin is supposed to, I'm not the man I'm supposed to be. 

 

 

 


 

 

 

SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 26 AUGUST // 08.09AM

To say the air between us is tense would be the biggest understatement, I could swim in it, maybe even bathe, all I know is that I am choking as his eyes go anywhere but my face. He was awake when I woke up, sat in the kitchen on his phone smiling as he typed away, but the moment his eyes saw my body coming closer that grin faded. It hurt a little, hurt so much to know that I'm behind his upset, I just wish he would tell me what's wrong. 

 

"Hyung?" I call to him, I've distanced myself on purpose, deciding that eating breakfast at the counter with him would be a death sentence. Jimin doesn't even blink, I try again and still no sign of accepting my presence. It's starting to aggravate me; it's childish really, I used to do this when I was an insufferable prepubescent twelve-year-old with a grudge against the world, Jimin is fucking twenty-one and can't even look me in the eyes. "Fine, don't reply but just so you know, I have no fucking idea what I've done wrong, and I'll be the bigger person to admit that if I have done something wrong I'm sorry but you're acting like a child, it's rude, and I'm fucking fed up with it Jimin!" I don't know where all that pent up anger came from but it's here, it's present and fuck, it's lingering like a foul smell. Jimin doesn't look up from his phone; he seems to be chewing over my words, that is until a chilling low chuckle emits from the blonde boy. 

 

It throws me off, Jimin leaning back and staring directly at me as he giggles, there's no humour behind it, just hostility. "Wow, you really don't know what you've done wrong? I thought you were clueless, but this is a whole new fucking level Jeongguk," his words are like acid, it only riles me up more, I'm not letting him talk to me like that, not when he hasn't even given me a chance to make amends. "Why don't you go away and think about what I could possibly be upset about and come back when you finally see what a fucking dick you are." 

 

"What the fuck? Jimin stop playing these mind games and just tell me what's fucking wrong like an adult!" 

 

"I shouldn't have to fucking tell you Jeongguk! Use your fucking head and think why I could possibly be hurt!" His voice cracks at the end, those light eyes going glassy and I can see the pain in that frown, I honestly don't know what I've done wrong. I wish I knew, I wish I could solve this, but I don't know. I really don't. 

 

"Jimin please, I don't want to fight with you, just tell me, so I know what to do to help," I beg, the distance between us narrowing as I trek across the apartment, but Jimin shuffles away, his head down as he tries to hold back tears. "Please, we told each other we would be honest, just tell me," he shakes his head, the hostility is still there even if it's hidden under a blanket of trepidation. 

 

"Do you seriously have no idea what you've done?" I know I shouldn't shake my head, I know I should just lie and say I do know but that in the long run won't get us anywhere. So, like the stupid boy, I am I shake my head, he rolls his eyes, and the tension comes terribly close to breaking point. His eyes narrowing in hard and I shift, I know he's going to blow, I know this isn't going to end well but I need to try, for the sake of my heart I need to try and make amends. 

 

"No, I'm sorry, but I don't." 

 

"Fuck you." He spits, his eyes brimming with tears as he shoves past me and storms into his room, I am quick on his heels not allowing the door to slam in my face as I push it open. He stands there with his hands flung against his face, tears streaming down his cheeks as he angrily tries to work out what he's doing. I just stand in the doorway, too unsure to move closer, I did this to him. "Fuck you Jeongguk! You've fucking hurt me, and you don't even know what you've done!" 

 

"Jimin I'm sorry, please just tell me. Is it because I went to Kim?" Jimin's eyes latch onto my own wide brown ones, his jaw clenched, and he lets out another humourless chuckle, his eyes looking at the ceiling with this passive-aggressive smile. 

 

"Always Kim isn't it Jeongguk? Always fucking Kim!" Is that the answer? Is that why? Makes sense I guess, but is that any reason to be this livid with me? 

 

"You're angry because I went to Kim's?" I ask unsure; I really am walking on thin ice, I could at any moment plummet into a bitter lake engulfing me in shards of forbidding frost, freezing my ability to breathe. "I told you I was leaving? I'm sorry I didn't call or anything to say he wanted me to stay, I didn't think it was important." 

 

"Fuck you." He repeats again, the tears once again surging down his now rose-tinted cheeks, I feel so awful, and I am just making it worse. "Fuck you for thinking I'm not important!"

 

"No, Jimin. That isn't what I meant!"

 

"But that's what you said! Jeongguk do you have any idea how hurt I am right now? Or do you not care? Am I not important enough for you? Am I just a meaningless body for you? To fill you undying need to fuck someone because the person you love doesn't remember you're pathetic existence? Is that what I am!" He's bellowing, his words dagger to my ears, echoing throughout my body in waves of insufferable anguish. 

 

"Fuck you Jimin! No, I don't fucking think that of you! I'm not the one sucking my dick and then running away!" 

 

"But you are the one doing that Jeongguk! Tell me honestly, what am I to you?" 

 

"A friend Jimin, you're my fucking best friend!"

 

"Then why are you allowing it? Why lead me on?" 

 

"Jimin."

 

"No fuck you Jeongguk! Fuck you; you're so fucking selfish! I wanted to talk to you last night, I wanted to tell you how I felt, and you didn't even give me a chance. I'm just a toy until you get what you want, I'm a human too you know! I have fucking feelings, but I wish I didn't because I don't want to be crying over a shitty person like you! I'm done. Fuck you." 

 

"Yeah? I'm a shitty person? Okay, Jimin, I definitely haven't saved your ass more times than I can count, I stuck up for you, I believed in you, I fucking had feelings for you too! You were the one who ran away not me; I didn't lead you on, we agreed to be friends, I would never use you as a toy." 

 

"But you would still choose Kim over me, wouldn't you? It doesn't matter what you say because we know the truth, you're a little boy Jeongguk." 

 

"Jimin."

 

"What?" He snaps, his eyes reaching mine and I can tell he's hurt. "I don't care Gguk; it's not like I fucking let you fuck me and get my hopes up that maybe you wanted me more  in some way to only then at the first chance go running away. I wanted to talk about it to you that night; I changed my mind, I don't only want to be friends." 

 

Oh fuck.

 

"Jimin," I repeat softly, a tear rolls down the older's cheek as he laughs humorlessly at his tears. 

 

"Don't. Don't fucking talk to me right now, I know I have no right to be angry, but I thought maybe there was something there. Was I just another fuck to feel the void he left? Was that what it was?" His voice is acidic, his eyes burning into my body, I really fucked up. 

 

"Jimin you will never be just that to me, you know it was more." 

 

"Did you do it out of sympathy? Would you have done it if I wasn't crying because I thought I lost you? Answer me honestly Gguk, would you?" I know the answer he wants, he's hurting, he's so fucking hurt, and I did that to him. My own selfish desires once again creating a great big fucking rift, Jimin deserves better. A few tears sporadically fall, and he quickly wipes them away with another humourless chuckle as he shifts on his feet. "Answer it Jeongguk!" 

 

"I'm sorry Jimin," that came from the depths of my heart, I knew this would happen. I fucking knew it, but yet I still decided to do it. I should have stopped it after a kiss or two; I knew Jimin would feel differently to me, the moment he said he knows I want Taehyung I felt the urge to prove him wrong, he was right. I don't regret it, what Jimin and I have is special but it can never be anything more than it was. 

 

"Fuck you Jeongguk. Don't fucking talk to me. Do you know what you are? You're a little boy that is stuck on someone who doesn't even know you exist. Just give it a break, it's pathetic." With that I watch Jimin storm out of the room, I sigh, what a fucking idiot you are Jeongguk, a fucking idiot. I watch him gather some things in a hurry to get away from my presence, but I'm fuming, I am actually so fucking angry. 

 

"Fuck you! Who are you to say that to me? I opened up to you, and this is how you repay me? I fucking trusted you; this is over Jimin. I don't want to see you anymore, fuck off." I watch as he snarls at me, sticking his middle finger up pointedly before storming out of the apartment, fuck him. This is why I don't take my mask off. Of all the people I thought that wouldn't judge, of all of them that I chose to be vulnerable with and this is the outcome. Someone sees me as pathetic as I see myself, it hurts. It fucking hurts so bad. 

 

"Fuck sake!" I yell, slamming my fists into the marble counters, is this meant to hurt my heart so much? Why does it feel like I'm dying? I'm fucking over it. Jimin can fuck off. 

 

That's when I hear the ping of a phone, my eyes searching before they come across a familiar object, Jimin's phone. I don't think; I don't do anything other than snatch it up and unlock it. I don't see anything clearly, only red, everything is red, and I want Jimin to suffer as much as me. How dare he turn it around on me like that, just because he caught feelings, feelings I never asked him to get, we agreed. He's a coward. 

 

I slam the phone back on the table; it's done. Fuck him. 

 


To Taemin:  Meet me in an hour, I miss you <3 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

 

SEOUL - MAPO-GU // 26 AUGUST // 10.09AM

My mind is a dark haze of anger, how dare he, how fucking dare he say that to me? He's the selfish one; he's the one that's decided my friendship isn't enough for him, he knows my feelings, and yet he throws it in my face like they mean nothing. Like I mean nothing. How fucking dare he. The pain in my chest hasn't gone, if anything it's grown, taken root and the snarling vexation coursing through my veins is laughable. He's going to suffer for this. He can't use my pain like that; he can't just throw it to the side, he knows how I feel. He fucking knows! He's going to pay. 

 

I took Jimin's phone; his friend messaged back very quickly, how sweet. I don't give a fuck. Jimin is as much of a snake as this dick; both have tried to kill me, Jimin just happened to be more successful. Both will pay. I called Boss, told him I couldn't make it because I'm doing the job he gave me, Taemin won't be an issue for us after today, Jimin's next. Fuck him. We have nothing left, I can't even stand the thought of him, I thought he was my friend, someone I could turn to, turns out I'm nothing.

 

How he was so quick to put me into the box of using him, toying with him, who does he think I am? After everything, after me worrying so much when we were so intimate, I gave him just as much as he gave me, I allowed myself to feel something, to not be taken by that man, it was just him and I. Now there is neither. It's just myself. Myself and this impenetrable desire to lash out and hurt him. I don't care anymore. Jeongguk isn't a person anymore. I'm Sniper. The mask is fucking fixed on my face now, Jimin just tied the final knot. 

 

My hood is up, my hands tightly placed inside my pocket, handgun carefully fixed and easy to use. Taemin isn't surviving. I hope Jimin is happy. I hope he fucking learns to not cross me. I trusted him. He's hurt me. I won't allow him to hurt me again. This is over. It ends today. I'm over him, and I'm certainly over me trusting people to talk to. I was fucking vulnerable with him! I cried to him! I've never cried to anyone like that! I don't think he understands how hard that was, to allow my walls to crumble in the false safety of him, fuck it hurts. Why am I so stupid? Pathetic little boy. 

 

I keep my head down; I don't want to draw attention to myself, I want this over and done with quickly. Taemin doesn't have to suffer; I only want Jimin to, god, I can feel my hands shaking. I'm so fucking angry, I've never seen so much red, never felt so betrayed. I want to cry, to scream out, how dare he. How fucking dare he. 

 

TAEMIN

 I'm here

I'm waiting outside

 I've missed you so much Jiminie!! 

 

I'll be here soon

just wait out there,

I can't wait to see you!

 It's been so long :(( 

 

TAEMIN

 I know :(

I've missed you at Uni!!

will you tell me more about this mysterious Justin?

;)

 

 Maybe,

I'll let you meet him soon

 :P

 

TAEMIN

 Is he as attractive as you made him out to be?

I bet he is!! 

 

 You can meet him

 you can see for yourself

I'm nearly there now

<3

 

TAEMIN

Okay

why did you ask me to meet you near this alley?

There's literally no one around

do you have something to tell me Min??

 

You'll see. 

 

 

I see him. He's stood there looking down at his phone, smiling widely, he looks sweet. He reminds me of Jimin, a kind face but a cruel heart. That seems to only draw my anger out more, Jimin will pay for the hurt he's causing me, I don't care about anything, I just don't want to be vulnerable, I want to control, I want to have choices over my life. I need something, anything to cling onto so I know I'm not drifting away, so I know I'm not drowning. I just want to fly. That will only happen if I shut myself off, shut the emotions that are pulling me to the ground, I'll try my hardest to become Sniper. Just Sniper. He's my only reliable safety net now, not Jimin. Not Taehyung. Not Yoongi. Sniper. Myself.

 

So why have my feet stopped moving? Why can't I take a step forward? I'm just frozen there, staring blankly at the man Jimin calls his closest friend. He hasn't looked up from his phone; it reminds me of when I first met Jimin, how he was so busy paying attention to whatever he was doing to even notice me following him. It's too similar. Except Taemin won't be walking away from this alive, maybe we should have killed Jimin when we captured him? Maybe Jimin is the butterfly that changed everything in my world, for good and for worse. 

 

My eyes are trained on the light haired brown boy, that smile; it's too kind for a snake. I have to keep reminding myself that he was there when I was shot, he was going to kill me and Boss, he isn't as good as he seems. Kill him Jeongguk. Kill him.  

 

My mind rushes back to Jimin's words, "he's everything to me Gguk, my best friend. The only person who has ever loved me,"  not true that isn't true. Why am I faltering? Why am I letting him through? I need to control my life; this is controlling it. I won't let others hurt me. I don't want to be destroyed. I need to destroy. I need to have something, anything. Please. Just kill him. 

 

I'm faltering, my mind battling between my anger and my love for Jimin, he can't do that to me. He has to die. I'm sorry Jimin, you betrayed me. Now I'll do the same. I can feel my phone vibrating in my back pocket, I ignore it, my eyes zoning in on him like prey. I decide the gun isn't going to help me relieve my frustration, my hand switches from its grasp on the handgun to the knife. I keep my head low, my mask fitted over the lower half of my face, hood up, I know there aren't any cameras near here, it's just some strange abandoned trading estate.

 

I approach him, he doesn't look up as I instantly shove my arm around his neck, locking him into a headlock tightly, he falls, stumbling to be released but I've got him tight. He groans out, yelping and my ears are blocked with that familiar cotton wool, deafening me from what's right and wrong. He's a snake; he deserves to die. "W-what do you want? I do-don't have an-y mon-ey!" He splutters, my arm digging deep into his neck, he can't breathe, his hands pathetically try to pull my arm away, but I am just too strong. This is how I like it. I like the control. The dominance. I soon find myself no longer caring who it is I am choking. I want it to be that man. I need it to be him. I need him dead. Maybe then he won't have control over me.

 

"I don't want your money," I hiss lowly, my other hand tightening in his hair to stop him from moving, he stumbles once more before staggering to the floor. I go down with him, pushing him against the concrete in one grand swoop, he groans, I know I'm hurting him, but I can't stop. I'm drunk on the need for power. To be the one not being controlled, to dominate.

 

"Jimin!" He yells out, I just punch him in the gut, sending him to volt forward and curl in on himself, a pathetic snake doesn't even know defence. "J-Jimin!" He yells again, this is tragic. I can't help the small smirk; he's stupid. His eyes latch onto mine; they hold something in them that I don't like, it's too soft for the situation. He's just holding his stomach; he isn't fighting back, fuck. I can't do this. Fuck. Why does he suddenly look so much like Jimin? I can't kill Jimin. Fuck.

 

"Jimin isn't coming," I mumble, his eyes wrinkling in confusion, he trusts too easily, I guess he's like me. My hand quickly grabs the knife in my pocket, get it over and done with Jeongguk. You need to do this. You need to kill him. Just kill him. I let out a whine, my hand gripping the handle so tight it makes the whole weapon shake, his eyes switch between my face and the blade, fear is present in those orbs, fuck, stop looking so much like Jimin.

 

"Why haven't you stabbed me yet?" He asks softly; it throws me, that's an idiotic question. I shift, my strength going back to my arm as I try to bring myself to stab him, he's just there. Do it. Do it Jeongguk. Take the control you crave. Do it. "You're a crow?" He asks, my eyes latch to his, stop talking. Please stop talking. I shake my head violently, clenching my jaw, I never falter, stop being pathetic, kill him Jeongguk. Show Jimin you're not a pathetic little boy. Show him who you really are. Show him you're a killer. An assassin, kill him!

 

I let out an all mighty yell as I tumble to my knees, kill him Jeongguk. Fucking kill him! I whine, my emotions getting the better of me as the boy watches cautiously, I'm breaking. I don't want to fucking break. In one final plea for strength, I pathetically lift my arm to slash at the boy, but I'm too far away to even scratch him. I don't realise my eyes have gone glassy; I want my strength back. Kill him.

 

Much to my surprise Taemin doesn't run, he doesn't leave, he sits there watching me as I try to battle my tears. It's silent, just me feebly holding myself up as my diaphragm shakes, I am just as pathetic as Jimin said I am. Who am I trying to kid? I'm not the same anymore, he took that from me, he stole my ability to be strong, he's destroyed me, and now Jimin has just suffocated me into the box, I'm stuck.

 

"Why are you crying?" His voice is so smooth, not cocky or demanding but genuinely concerned; I hate it. Stop being nice. I need to kill you. "Are you new? Is this your first kill?" God, I wish it was, that would be far less embarrassing than to say you are actually my one hundred and something kill. I just whine again, I'm a child. This is humiliating. Sniper has vanished, I want him to come back, I need my fort, my ten-foot tall wall, my mask, my cloak, anything to hide who I am, please I'm desperate. I need to hide. I don't want to be vulnerable, please don't make me vulnerable.

 

"How old are you? You can't be that old, I'm Taemin, but I guess you already know that. Did your Boss put you up to this?" I don't reply; I only breathe out heavily, I'm trying so hard to compose myself. I just need time. He will be dead. I'll kill him. I've never failed a mission, and I'm not about to now. "How did you get Jimin's phone? Is he okay?" Stop sounding so fucking concerned! The mention of his name brings a surge of anger through my heart; it's heavy, so fucking painful.

 

"He did this to me," I mumble incoherently, and I hope he didn't hear, I hope he doesn't understand, but he seems to hear it crystal clear. He's shifting, he should be scared of me right now, terrified, that's how I like my victims, but he's acting like I'm a little brother that's injured. Shouldn't he want to kill me? I mean he knows I'm an Eagle, Boss said he would kill me if he had the chance, so why isn't he taking it?

 

"Jimin did this? How do you know Jimin?" Stop talking to me; you're making this worse. "How does Jimin know a crow?" That had the slightest glimmer of hostility, now I can't let him go, he'll tell Kwan, and then Jimin is in danger, I don't want that. Not really. Everything just seems to be a little too much; I'm angry, so fucking angry but I'm hurt, hurt to the point where I think if someone were to even gently blow on me I'd crumble. I think I'm heartbroken; I don't know why. I mean I probably do, but I'm too stubborn to even think about it. I just want to be okay. It's all too much. 

 

"I don't know Jimin," I state, my voice gaining the strength I need, that strength I desire, I can't let this man destroy me, I am Sniper. I don't fall. I fly. Taemin seems to be a foolish man, he's grown too content talking to me, he doesn't think I have it in me, and that's his downfall. "I'm Sniper, you tried to kill me," I deadpan, his eyes widening as his mouth opens in shock before he shakes his head slightly in denial. I don't give him the chance to run. Instead I lunge forward, tackling him to the ground. 

 

"No!" He yelps as I scurry to get a good hold on him, this doesn't have to take long, I'm powerful. I have strength. I can do this. I am Sniper. I can fly. I will fly. I hold his throat in the clasp of my left hand, his face instantly turning red from the lack of blood I am allowing to flow, his eyes trained on me in fear but I only see my hunger for what I deserve. Jimin will pay. Kwan will pay. I am Sniper. No one can control me. "Please!" He chokes out, I don't hear him, I can't hear his pleas, the cotton wool is in, and my tears have dried, this is Sniper. The mask fixed, the cloak on, I am powerful. 

 

With one final look, I plunge the knife into his abdomen, the instantaneous feeling of warm blood painting my hand is like the familiar welcome of home, he won't survive that. I don't give him the chance to survive before I am releasing my hold on his neck and quickly slashing my blade across his windpipe. The blood is spewing out as he chokes, red hot liquid dispersing over every inch of his skin, onto the concrete and over me. I jump off him; it's done. He's gone. His eyes stay fixated on me as his life slowly comes to an end, I'm breathing hard, the anger bringing me a newfound sense of pride, I overcame that on my own. I truly am Sniper, not some pathetic boy. 

 

I wait for him to become utterly lifeless before I am tossing him into the back of the car in a body bag, I made sure to cut off his hands, I'll send them to Kwan as a lovely little gift. The drive is silent, my mind focusing only on my pride, the gratification of achieving something I thought I lost lifting my spirits high, I did it. He's dead; Boss will be so proud. Jimin doesn't have to know. I erased my conversation with Taemin, leaving it on Jimin's last message to him saying he loves him. I don't care anymore; I still believe he deserves it for what he did. He hurt me; he should understand that he'll never know I'm the one who killed Taemin. I won't tell him. In fact, I don't think I'll ever speak to him again, I don't want him anymore. He broke my heart in more ways than one when he walked away and blamed me. He's lucky I didn't kill him instead. 

 

 

 


 

 

 

"Jeongguk, follow me," Yoongi hyung mumbles under his breath, it's early, too early really for anyone to be able to function properly, daylight only just becoming visible through the window panes, dew painting them in waterfalls as the static of the early morning begins waking from its slumber. I yawn, rubbing my eyes as I follow the black haired man I've grown to follow orders from for the past month, being in a gang is weird, they haven't asked me to do anything as such yet, they've pretty much just let me scope around the different sectors probably to see which one takes my fancy the most. I like what hyung does, it's violent, and a little intense but it just reminds me of video games, if I can beat someone up on that why couldn't I do it in real life? 

 

I also find the pornography sector interesting, I mean I would never want to be in the videos per se, but watching it is good fun, that's probably just my fourteen-year-old hormones talking, but it's entertaining to watch. That's why I am surprised to find hyung leading me to one of the rooms where the films are made, I can already hear the distant moans and whines of a female probably being pounded into, I smirk imagining that was me doing that but my grin immediately fades when hyung slaps the back of my head. "Don't even think about it kid, we are not here for that," I pout, he's no fun. 

 

Hyung has become the brother I have never had; he's shown me around, I live with him, not that he's there very often. I'm grateful for him because without his constant attention and somewhat cold but none the less love I wouldn't want to be here. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss being a 'normal' teen, I've been thrown into a world of guns and violence, and I'm just supposed to be okay with it. If I'm not then I'll be killed. Hyung said I'd grow into someone important here; he's put me on a pedestal that I'll be a valued member and not just some kid that watches from the sidelines. He said I'm too young to do what he does; no one would be threatened by me, lest alone because my muscle mass isn't exactly powerful yet, I mean I've only really just started puberty. It's tough, but hyung is here, so is Hoseok and Boss. 

 

"Stay here a second," hyung mutters once more before casually strolling off down the corridors. I stand there for a moment; this is boring. I probably stay still for around half a minute before deciding I would much rather go watch something interesting, so naturally, I head towards the noise of the moans. I find the door easily, the sound of skin slapping on skin makes me really fucking aroused, I've had sex a couple times with Jennie, I found this girl down at Peaches called Eunha, she's my new side piece when I'm bored but we haven't had sex yet, she's just sucked me off a couple times.

 

The sounds really do make me question why humans love sex so much, Mum used to say it's to fill our unsatisfied desires of not knowing our purpose other than to breed, Dad used to say it is a way to bond men and women together, even went as far to say it's because God told us to. They didn't exactly like it when I asked why men and men and the same for women are having sex if it's purely for breeding. Mum was a lot more open to the ideas of sexuality, but she always told me she wouldn't like it if I were gay, good job I'm not, but I just don't understand. Sex is sex, right?  So why does gender matter? If it is for breeding then wouldn't men just not be attracted to other men?  I always wonder about that; maybe I'll ask hyung when he returns. 

 

"Please don't get a boner kid," Yoongi grumbles, I just chuckle lowly having not turned around to see the other as I just listen to the now mewling women. "I told you to stay there, can you not do anything you're told?" I just shake my head, fuck he's pounding her hard that sounds brutal. "Are you even listening? Jesus Christ, okay let's go!" He's grabbing my arm, and I giggle once more before I realise there is another set of feet stood by him, my eyes trail up the figure until I reach the face of possibly the most attractive looking man, boy? I don't know. He's smiling slightly, his eyes fluttering onto me, obviously enjoying Yoongi getting all aggravated. 

 

"So this is the boy that has you constantly complaining hyung?" He speaks, woah, that voice is deep. His dark brown eyes dart from mine to hyung's, Yoongi doesn't seem that bothered at all by the presence of the other. I am. This is new. How come I've never seen him before? He looks around my age; he's different. He has red hair, tanned skin that somehow reminds me of the finest honey, I find myself watching him with wide eyes, gawping is probably the word people would use. It's just I've never seen anyone like this. 

 

"Yeah this is Jeongguk, kid this is Taehyung, he's your new mentor," wait, hold the fuck up! Mentor? As in he's going to teach me? Shut up. My face must show my shock as Taehyung bursts into giggles, Yoongi rolls his eyes, "kid it's not difficult to understand, this is Kim." Oh shit, he's Kim? The Kim. But he's so young? 

 

"Ah hyung, you've caught yourself a cute one!" Taehyung beams, I just blankly stare, what is happening right now? I'm so fucking confused. 

 

"B-but why is he mentoring me? I thought you were hyung?" Taehyung's smile fades slightly, and I decide at that moment that I never want to see that again. Yoongi huffs, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as if he's seriously done with my questioning, don't blame him it is like quarter to four in the morning. "Not that I have a problem with it, it's just-"

 

"That I'm young? Yeah, kid, I might only be sixteen but don't fret, I'll teach you all you need to know. You want to kill right?" I just nod, my mouth open in that familiar 'o' as I watch him talk away, the smile back and it's boxy, cute springs to mind. "Hyung told me you want to be like him?"  I nod again, "I think you'd be a better Sasin, hyung don't you agree?" My eyes snatch onto hyung, he looks bored, probably wanting to just go back to bed and he hums, he's not listening. 

 

"A Sasin? As in like assassin?" Taehyung nods quickly, I never thought about that, I knew Kim was the only Sasin, and he's good, really fucking good but me being one too? That doesn't seem likely. "Hyung's giving you to me, Boss wants another Reaper, so you'll have to do. We begin training now." Before I can even process what's happening, I'm being grabbed by the hand and dragged down the corridor quickly away from hyung. I don't complain; I like the feeling of my hand in his, wait what? I instantly snap my hand away from his, he doesn't seem to bat an eyelid at it, I don't like that. 

 

It's a little awkward, I don't know if that's just me because Taehyung seems to be enjoying himself, he's showing me all his different weapons and what they are best used for, hyung's already taught me all of them but I feel like I'd have kicked a puppy if I say I already know all this. "This one is best for long shots, fucking lethal, I've killed so many men with this," he says with a wide smile, I'm not really paying attention, I'm more focused on his eyes, they are stunning. That's not weird to say, is it? I mean having pretty eyes isn't a bizarre thing to mention right? I've noticed he only has one double lid; it's cute, he has these random freckles on his face that are just, fuck Jeongguk. Stop. 

 

I clear my throat, shifting on my feet and he stops, fuck I wasn't supposed to compose myself like that. Shit now he's staring. "Urr, what's t-this one most useful for?" I ask pointing at a knife; I mentally facepalm, fucking idiot. Taehyung just giggles, not sure if it's at me or with me, but it's cute, fucking hell stop calling him cute Jeongguk! Anyway, he can't be cute, he kills people for a living. 

 

"That, my dear Jeonggukkie, is a knife, you use it to stab people," not condescending at all, he giggles again before handing it over, "here it's yours,"  I gawp at him once more as he shoves the knife into my hand, a small gentle smile on his face as he blinks a couple times. "Yah, do you only ever stare? It's just a knife; you know you use them to cut things? Stab people when needed?" I must look so fucking stupid right now, but I can't help it, he's doing something strange to me, and I don't like it. Pull yourself together Jeongguk. I cough again, straightening my posture and attempt to elicit as much confidence I can muster. 

 

"Yeah I know, I want to slash someone's jugular, can I do that?" Taehyung's face lights up, nodding quickly and I smile back, see it isn't so hard to bond when you're not a fucking weirdo. "Hyung, oh wait can I call you hyung?" 

 

"Yes, Jeongguk."

 

"Hyung how long have you been here? I mean you're only two years older, how did you get into being a Sasin?" Taehyung places the gun he was holding back into his display, I twiddle with the knife anxiously feeling like I've stepped over a line I shouldn't have crossed. It's silent for a moment, the older just staring off like he's trying to figure out what to say to me, I shouldn't have said anything, goddammit Jeongguk, keep your mouth shut. 

 

"I suppose I should tell you; we'll be good friends Gguk, just stop being so nervous around me, I'm just a big brother okay?" I nod, I can see us getting along well, he seems like quite the socialite. "I urm, I was sold by my parents into a prostitution ring, escort service really, men would buy me for the night and have their way with me, and I was so young I didn't really understand? Like I did, but I didn't ever feel anything, it was numb you know?”

 

“Anyway so, I spent years doing that, and about a year and a half ago Yoongi hyung came into the ring and broke it down, stopped a load of men and I found a gun, so I started gunning people down too. Hyung found me and brought me here since then I've been Ghost, and I'm never going to be anything else. I don't want to be anything else, it's my home, and it will be yours too."  I would have never looked at Taehyung and thought that about him, he's so well put together, I mean I don't know what I expected when he said prostitute, I guess it's my wired in stereotypes coming out, but he doesn't seem overly sensual in that sense. He is pretty though, I could see the attraction, even if it were old perverts. "

 

We'll be a team Gguk; I still do a lot of escorting, I take old powerful men to hotels and kill them, you'll do the gang work, kill men that cross us, not just in the gang but those that harm the children and people of Seoul. We are the Reapers of the bad and disgusting; we are doing everyone a service, cleaning the streets of the vile snakes and corrupted officials that run this city." I like those words, that's fucking badass. 

 

I smile widely; he smiles back, it's a silent agreement that I'll be with him. I'll do that, not because I want to kill people but because it's my duty to this gang, to this city and to this country. I'm going to be a Sasin; I'll soar high and search for the weak prey that hides amongst the grime. "I'm in," I state, nodding my head and Taehyung lifts his hand out for me to shake, another silent agreement that we are in this together. He is now not only my brother but my partner, he is my mentor, and he will guide me. He will create who I am meant to be, who I belong as. Jeongguk will become an assassin the snakes will fear, a being that terrifies, an entity with power and superiority. 

 

 

 


 

 

 

SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 12.00PM

Carrying and dumping a body in the Han is easy if you know what to do, I have done this so many times it's almost a routine. It's a beautiful place to rest really if you think about it, a vast amount of water, a city encapsulating where you lie if anything it's a nice way to go. I'm doing him a favour. I go to the usual spot; no one is here as normal, I just drag him out of the car and onto the river bank with stones weighing him down, it would be easier if I had someone here with me, but I don't, and I can manage. 

 

I throw his limp body into the river and watch the splash as he plummets to the bottom easily, it's done. I stand there just staring at the spot where he landed, I killed Jimin's best friend, he's dead, and Jimin will never be able to talk to him again, never be able to look him in the eyes or say he misses him to his face. What have I done? I killed him. It's over now; there's no point dwelling on it, he had to be killed, I just wish I maybe had handled it differently, but I won't ever tell Jimin.

 

It's just blank, a whiteness to my thoughts as I think of nothing, just nothing. The haze of anger and betrayal being lifted as I stare at the city skyline, that's my home, this is my city. So why does it feel so distant? Why do I feel so empty still? I should be throwing a party, I killed a snake but the image of a crying Jimin keeps returning, a new burden I'll have to bury deep within my walls. His blood is getting irritable on my skin, drying and tightening, I need the smell of iron off my clothes, I need to destroy the evidence. 

 

To Boss -  It's done. He's gone. 

 

The drive back to the nest is far too quiet, I turned the music on just to drown out my inability to think, but somehow my mind kept wandering back to the blank cavern, I need to talk to someone. As soon as I step foot into the nest I head straight to the showers, I can't go home in case Jimin is there, I doubt it, actually I have no idea where he would even be, but I'm not going back there. Besides, I need to destroy my clothes. 

 

"Jeongguk?" I turn to see Namjoon stood there holding an apple and a book; he's got his glasses on so I know he's about to start work, I just smile briefly as I notice his eyes trailing over my bloodied body. "Who have you killed this time?" He asks taking a bite and leaning against the wall with his eyebrow perked up in interest. "Please tell me Boss told you to kill them and it wasn't just some random person off the street," he holds so much faith in me. 

 

"Boss told me to kill him hyung; I don't go around killing citizens you know that," I don't mean for it to sound so forced and hostile but it's hard, I'm getting irritable, and I need to just wash away everything that's happened this morning. I need to forget it and move on because what good is it going to do? "Taemin, you know the snake that tried to kill us," Namjoon nods slowly, his eyes fixed on me, and he chews on his apple, I know he knows. "You can't tell Jimin hyung; he already hates me."

 

"Why does he hate you? He's in my office right now," of course he is, should have known. "Is that why he looked like he had been crying? Jeongguk what did you do?"

 

"Why has it always got to be me that's done something wrong? Why can't it be him?" I snap, and I'm done with the conversation, with that I push open the door to the showers and harshly shut it in his face, fuck Jimin. I quickly strip myself from my clothes, I'll probably just burn them, I mean they were old ratted clothes anyway. I'm glad the marks on my neck have finally gone, I think that was hindering me from being able to move on, I mean I don't think I'll ever truly forget it, who can? But, I want to, not just for my sake but because I don't want others to realise what I went through. It's hard enough without having to explain why I suddenly don't want to be touched, how my body freezes up when I can feel his toxic breath on me, it's not fair. I thought Jimin might have been the way forward into forgetting but I guess I'm not good enough for him. Always my fault. 

 

The moment I step out the shower I feel like I've regained something I didn't know I had lost, a sense of my old self, my old ways and I like it. I am glad it has returned, whatever it is, it's found itself back to me. I'm still angry, it's simmering lowly in my gut, but the wrenching ache in my heart seems to have dissipated without a trace. Jimin isn't someone I want anymore, not until he chooses to talk to me, I'm done.

 

My mind is heavy with how I left things with Taehyung, I know I said somethings I probably should have refrained from speaking out loud, but I was trying to help, I miss him, god, he's only been back in my life for less than a week and I already feel myself becoming so devoted again. Maybe that's the feeling that's returned? Devotion to something that was harshly removed, I guess Jimin was correct, he was just a thing to fill the void Taehyung left. I won't admit that I won't speak of that, Jimin doesn't deserve to know. 

 

 

15.38PM

"Jeongguk," I don't lift my head, sat on the floor with my phone just waiting for Taehyung to text me, I know it's a little pathetic but I want him to call me, and maybe if I stare at my phone long enough I can just stare it into reality. Hyung's feet come into view, his shadow daunting over my figure that looks so small and I slowly lift my head to look up at him, he's frowning, blatantly concerned about something. "Stand up; I need to talk to you. Now," with that he's turning on his heels and walking out of view and into his office area, not really an office as such like Namjoon's but more of a 'lab', you know, kind of a place he hangs out when trying to avoid everyone and get lost in the gang. 

 

I sigh heavily, my knees cracking under the weight of me standing as I shove my phone into my back pocket, I slump forward as I walk down the hall. I don't mean to, but my eyes flicker upwards and meet with the same blonde boy I don't want to see anymore. His brown eyes just blankly connect with mine, I can tell there are no feelings there anymore, it's all gone. I clench my jaw and casually turn away from him, I honestly am done. "Oh, you can stay at the apartment, I'll move in with hyung." I blandly call out to him, I don't turn around to see his face, but the small hum tells me he heard, it's sad really but if he's going to be childish then so will I, at least I'm kind enough to give him a place to stay. 

 

I shut hyung's door carefully, I know he hates it when I slam things or make sudden loud noises. He's sat in his desk chair, turned away and looking on his computer; I just slide in the room and down onto the smaller couch. When I first came here I would always come to hyung's office when I felt scared or out of place, I'd lie on his couch and look up at the white ceiling and calm myself, not that it happened a lot but whenever I felt lost I'd find sanctuary in his room. I do that now, lie back against the arm, I'm a lot bigger for it now, I used to fit, but now my legs hang over the side aimlessly, I let out a heavy breath, sometimes I wish I could go back to that naive fourteen-year-old with so much ambition. 

 

"We have a lot to talk about kid, I want to get this bit out the way before I show you this," Yoongi swings around on his chair, his hands clasped together and I know instantly that whatever he wants to talk about isn't something I should take lightly, I'm in trouble. I rest my head against my arm, shuffling on the couch to face him on my side instead of looking up at the ceiling, I nod for him to continue. "You're a fucking idiot you know that?" There he is, the hyung I know and love. "Seriously Jeongguk, what did you expect to happen if you sleep with your partner? Did you not learn anything with how things ended with Kim? I want to believe you had good intentions, but you're both seriously immature," I stick my tongue in the side of my mouth, and he huffs, "Park came here crying earlier, he told me what happened, you both said some hurtful things, why did you sleep with him Jeongguk, twice!" 

 

"We agreed not to catch feelings hyung, Jimin did, that's not my fault-"

 

"Jeongguk, don't give me that bullshit, out of anyone you should know that relationships like that always end in someone catching feelings, you can't blame Jimin for that!" 

 

"He hurt me just as much hyung, but everyone only seems to care about him being hurt because he fucking cried! He said some really fucking horrible things and I'm just supposed to forgive it because he caught feelings? No! I'm not going to allow him to hurt me like that and expect me to be the one to apologise!"

 

"I'm not asking you to forgive him Jeongguk, all I want if for you two to sort whatever fucking mess you have made, so the fucking gang doesn't crumble!"

 

"It won't."

 

"You really are fucking stupid if you think that."

 

"Fine, whatever, I'll talk to him. Now tell me the other things," I huff under my breath as I roll my eyes, hyung's eyes boring into mine as he watches with known irritation, we always have little arguments like this, it's what bonds us really. "Is everything okay?" I ask hesitantly when I take into account of hyung's face, that isn't a good look, his eyes brimming with something that almost scares me like he's genuinely terrified of what he's going to say, it has to be something to do with Kwan. 

 

"Urm," he starts, turning the chair slightly, so he is no longer directly looking at me, he scratches the back of his head, and I hate seeing hyung like this, I nibble on my top lip with anxiety. Fuck. "Jeongguk, I found something on his computer, please just listen to it, please don't react, just listen okay?" That's probably the worst thing he could say to me, I just launch into a sitting position, my leg bouncing with nerves as hyung gets something up on his computer. I watch cautiously as he clicks on file after file, he's going into a wormhole of videos and images from within that one folder. 

 

PERSONAL, GANG, SEPARATE, CHILDREN, WORK, BACKGROUND, TAEHYUNG. 

 

Taehyung. He has a whole folder dedicated to Taehyung. As if the other folders don't contain him at all. How many videos does he make to be able to have that many branches? Yoongi dubiously turns to look over at me, his eyes thick with unease, please tell me what's in this folder isn't as bad as my mind is making out, please tell me it's just Taehyung having consented sex with him, please don't let it be as bad as I think it will be. 

 

I don't have time to overthink it before hyung is clicking on the first video, my breath hitching hard as the Taehyung I knew comes onto the screen, he's bruised, face swollen and head constantly crowning over in lack of strength. They abused him to the point where he broke, and now he cannot even remember it to defend himself, the lie that grew and became a part of him and now, now he's just a shell of the man I once knew. 

 

'M-my name is Kim Taehyung, I'm twenty- twenty years old, my position inside Hwang-geumbich nalgae was as their main assassin, I dealt in killing men who Boss believed crossed us.' The shuffling of feet behind the camera sets me on edge, what's going to happen? I can see Taehyung is trembling, his feet slowly shaking just like my leg is right now, god, please. 'Please, I don't have anything to tell you.' He lifts his head, and I physically feel my heart being squeezed, those eyes, those fucking eyes are filled with desperation, glassed over with just fear that I can't look, he's begging, they harmed the man I looked up to as the strongest I knew. He broke, still is broken. Just like me. I feel like I'm looking into my own reflection, Taehyung is tied to me in more ways than one, and now I want nothing more than to harm every single person who ever touched a hair on his beautiful head. Sniper will come for them. 

 

'Who is Sniper?' That's Kwan; I know that voice like a disgusting plague spreading across my ears, revolting, fucking vulgar cunt. 

 

'Please, I can't tell you,' he's gasping for air, he's choking himself on his anguish, I know he won't tell them who I am, he can't. This was months ago; they can't know who I am. It's impossible. 

 

'WHO IS SNIPER!' Kwan spits in his face, Taehyung lets out a small whimper, and I feel my grip tightening around the couch seats, this fucker will pay. 'Maybe this will help jog your memory,' I watch as Kwan pulls Taehyung's clothes off, leaving his tanned skin bare and open to show every mark and cut that is scattered like wildfire, I feel ill. They fucking touched him like that. Marked his skin in the most brutal and inhumane way, they will pay. 

 

It isn't until the small whimpers of a child is heard that I understand what's going to happen, no please, no god. "Watch Jeongguk," Yoongi mumbles, his eyes attached to the screen as a small child no older than seven is thrown into camera view, his eyes puffy and swollen, his hands tied restrictively tight behind his back and his body being thrown around like a rag doll by Kwan. He's wailing out is harrowing, begging to be let go, that it hurts, Taehyung eyes shut tight as the deadly scream of a child being touched in a way that shouldn't happen begins. Fuck, no, please. 

 

Pound after pound the child's screams don't diminish, Taehyung battling against the restraints as he tries to stop them, to stop Kwan harming such a young soul. The smile on that mans face can only be described as the work of the devil, my blood turning cold as he looks into the camera, a snide grimace as he pounds once more before releasing in the child. I turn away not wanting to hear the disgruntled noises of a child gasping for help, that poor fucking kid. "Jeongguk watch," Yoongi repeats, and I don't understand why he's making me watch this, why? Why make me watch a child being abused in front of Taehyung? Why? 

 

It isn't until the sharp crack of the child's neck being harshly snapped away from his spine that I realise. The wail that comes from Taehyung, the look so desolation on his face, those eyes brimming with torment, my heart stopping and my body convulses. Kwan so easily harmed that child, a boy no older than eight, his life ahead of him torn away by a disgusting act to get what? My name? To hurt Taehyung to the point where he breaks and spills every secret from our gang? 

 

I watch in borrowed silence, my breath caught in my throat, please Taehyung. Don't tell him. 'Y-you monster!' He screams, thick tears running down his face as Kwan begins touching him, his hands reminding me so much of the man that harmed me, their fingers icy shards of fire, the hands of a monster. Taehyung tries to squirm away, but Kwan has him, his head leans away, but Kwan only takes that as an indication to mark, to snarl and bite the skin of the man I love. Taehyung's whole body stiffening in fear, this isn't right. Why is hyung making me watch this? 

 

'Jung Jaehyun!' Taehyung screams, Kwan freezes and lifts himself from the younger boy, a smirk present on his face, 'Jaehyun is Sniper, please,' he lied. He fucking lied. Jaehyun was a real person, he was in our gang a couple years ago but got killed, Hoseok killed him if I remember correctly. Why did Taehyung say his name? Yoongi turns to look at me then, his eyes glimmering with something, why is he looking at me like that? 'Jaehyun is Sniper please, search the records I'm not lying.' I can't believe it, Taehyung sent them on a wild goose chase, he leads them away from me and onto the trail of a dead man. He didn't break. 

 

'Are you lying to me?' Kwan asks deadly low, Taehyung shakes his head, he doesn't falter, his eyes never falling from Kwan's. 'Good, do you know what this means Taehyung?' He shakes his head, his mouth trembling slightly as Kwan's hand touches over his cheek, brushing some of the tears away before leaning in too close until his lips are grazing his, I can tell Taehyung is trying his hardest not to back out, to allow it, to survive. 

 

'It means that you'll let me go?' Kwan laughs, his touch tightening and I feel my heart twisting, my stomach churning as he smiles sadistically at Taehyung, his brown eyes reflecting how I felt when I was told I enjoyed it, that I want this, Taehyung is trapped just as much as I am. I need to set him free. 

 

'No, I won't let you go, pretty boy, you're my whore now. All mine.' 

 

'I'll do anything you say please, just don't hurt the children.' 

 

'Children?' That tone is ice, a thickly frozen glade of heart-clenching ice, 'the children,' he repeats turning to look at the young child on the floor with a smirk, fucking disgusting human. 'What will you do if I leave the children alone Taehyung? What will it take for you to stop me hurting my precious toys?' Bile floods my mouth; he talks like those children are nothing but figurines to collect, there is no empathy in those words, he only sees objects to fuck, not lives of innocents. 

 

'Take me, take my memories, please anything, just I don't want to remember them if you're going to take me as your own. Please.' No fucking way, no, no? No. Taehyung wouldn't do that. No, he wouldn't. He wouldn't ask them for that? No. No, I don't accept that, he wouldn't. 'Please make me forget them; I can't live knowing I betrayed them, please Kwan.' He's sobbing again, Kwan is just staring, his eyes latched onto the younger's lips. 'Take my memory of who I was Kwan, make me someone you want me to be instead, own me I don't fucking care just leave the children alone. Use me, take me instead just please, no more kids.' 

 

Hyung stops it there, my hearts pounding, I don't believe it. No. This is insane. "Jeongguk," Yoongi whispers turning on his chair to face me again, no way is that the truth, it's a lie. "Taehyung did it for the children, it's true, after this video there are no more of the kids, the most recent album of children was from before this clip. Taehyung stopped Kwan from using children-"

 

"But he put himself as the toy instead hyung." 

 

"I know, kid, but that's Taehyung for you."

 

"He sacrificed himself for the children?" I whisper more to myself than to hyung; he destroyed his own memories, his own past to save them? To keep them from harm, or at least away from Kwan, Taehyung voluntarily chose for his life to be stripped from him for the safety of innocents? I don't know if to smile or cry; he did that. 

 

"The videos after this are obviously recent, Kwan actually listened to him kid, Taehyung stopped him using children."

 

"On camera hyung, he might still use them away from the camera lens." 

 

"Maybe, but I think he actually has stopped, he seems to be falling for Kim." 

 

"No."

 

"Kid, Kwan seems too fucking devoted to him for it to only be to repress his urge to fuck children, he's attached." 

 

"Taehyung loves him doesn't he hyung?"

 

"No."

 

"What do you mean? Of course, he loves him!"

 

"Kid trust me, Taehyung doesn't love Kwan, he never will." 

 

"How do you know that hyung? Don't lift my hopes just to have them shattered."

 

"Kid I never told you this, and I never thought I would tell you but," Yoongi sighs, resting his hands on his face in contemplation. I just stare, wide-eyed and unsure if I want to hear what he is going to say, I don't want my heart broken again. "Taehyung came to me a week before he got taken, it was after your fight and he cried to me," I look away, my eyes heavily shutting as I breathe in, I don't want to remember our petty argument that tore a rift in our relationship, if I could go back I'd take everything I said back, if I knew those would be the last words I said to him then I would have never have said it, I was angry and hurt, Taehyung hurt me.

 

"What did he say?" I ask silently, hyung hears it though, his body softening as he gazes at me, the small smile throws me off, I'm not used to hyung looking at me so mellowly. I bite my lips anxiously; I don't want to be given hope that will be shattered in seconds. 

 

"He told me about what you two had planned to do now that you were eighteen, he told me about how your relationship was more than just hookups and that you were in love with him," I snort, of course, of fucking course Taehyung would only mention me being the one in love.

 

"Wait for a second, I haven't finished," hyung groans, placing his hand in front of him to direct me to stop jumping to conclusions, "he told me about you both wanting to run away, escape the gang one day, he told me he loves you Jeongguk. He told me that he's a fool in love and that he has been since he saw you, he was scared, and you were so forward that he wasn't used to it. He told me he tried to deny it for so long, but you'd lodge yourself tightly into his heart, he came to me to get me to promise that if he ever died or you never wanted to talk to him again that I would look after you and make sure you're okay. He asked me to make sure you always feel loved and that he wouldn't ever forget you, he kept a journal, poems really dedicated to you. He wants you Jeongguk, kid he's in fucking love with you, and I know you are too, just give it time."

 

"Why are you telling me this hyung? It's not like we can be together."

 

"No, you might not be able to now but do you seriously think we don't have a plan set in place to get him out? You truly fucking believe that we don't have a plan to kill Kwan?" 

 

"You have a plan?"

 

"Yes Jeongguk and it starts now." 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

 


 

I never thought the day would come where I would have to kill my own parents, never thought I'd have to stand there and look them in the eyes as they bleed out. But that day has come, their fifteen year old son standing tall and proud knowing he isn't them, he isn't a coward and didn't run away. I stood there, chin raised high, I felt no mercy, no sorrow for them, they left me. I have a new family now, one that cares and cherishes me, I have a home, they are no longer anything to do with me. 

 

"How do you want to kill them Gguk, this is your first one so you better make it special!" Taehyung cheerfully speaks, wrapping his arm around my shoulders as we walk through the nest. Since hyung gave me to Taehyung we haven't spent a single day without the each other, I like him, maybe more than I should but I don't think anything of it. It's just hormones. I turn my face to look at his, he's so close and I can smell his now familiar sweet breath and it sends a tingle down my spine but I ignore it like always, it's nothing. He beams as he jumps off my shoulder and over to the cabinet with the different weapons, I eye them all, this is a special occasion. 

 

Taehyung is quick to grab his Katana, it's his favourite and I hardly see him without it, he's like Hoseok and his machete or Yoongi hyung and his array of guns. I want a certain weapon, hyung gave me that knife but it's a little basic and underwhelming, I want something cool, like in the video games. "No you can't take the Kalashnikov Jeongguk," I moan, crossing my arms and jutting my bottom lip out, he just stares at me for a moment, our eyes connecting before he's cooing and reaching over to pinch my cheeks.

 

I quickly bat him away and compose myself as I scour over the different weapons I can choose from, I know I won't be allowed the big guns for my first time, the machine guns are probably out of the picture too. My eyes flicker to the different knives, M-6 Bayonet, BW-ACK, Push daggers, F-S fighting knife and then I see it, the Gerber Mark II, I quickly pick it up and look it over, Taehyung seems pleased. 

 

The 12 inch knife with a 6 inch blade, saw-tooth serrations on either side by the hilt, the matte black diamond cross section blade is fucking deadly. Hyung told me it was used as a fighting knife and now it's going to be the weapon I use to kill my parents. "Are you sure you want to use a knife? That's intimate Gguk, you sure you'll be able to kill them with a blade?" He seems genuinely concerned as I lift the knife to check it all over, this is it, I'm using this. 

 

"I want it to be intimate hyung, I want them to know it their son that's killing them, want them to feel my hands on their necks when I slice their throats. They betrayed me so now it's their turn." Taehyung doesn't reply, he only looks away and back to the weapons, he does that a lot, looks away but I can sense he's just as excited as I am. This is the day I become a Sasin, the Reaper I've dreamt of becoming for months now, Taehyung has taught me well, made me become the boy I need to be and I will prove that today. 

 

"Jeongguk!" I turn to see Yoongi, he's looking a little bruised from a cross in he had with some snakes the other day, he came back limping with a large gash on his side, Namjoon fixed him up quick though but he's still limping slightly. I smile and his eyes land on the knife in my hands, "Gerber Mark? You sure you want to use that?" He lifts an eyebrow as he scratches the lobe of his ear, I let out a huff, why is everyone doubting me? 

 

"He wants it to be intimate hyung," Taehyung replies for me before I get the chance, Yoongi just sniggers finding it funnier than I ever intended it to be. His laugh is raspy and dry, I just stand there waiting for him to finish but Taehyung starts laughing too. What the fuck? Am I that much of a joke to all of them? I've had enough. I go to walk away from the two annoying elders but Taehyung grabs my arm and yanks me back into him before wrapping his arm over my shoulder again, he rests his chin on my other shoulder, "my Gukkie is all grown up," he coos before nuzzling his head into my neck and I don't mean to let my breath hitch but holy shit. It's just hormones. 

 

"Yeah, Gukkie, haven't you grown!" Yoongi teases, leaning forward and pretending to pinch my cheeks just like Taehyung, I fucking hate him sometimes. Taehyung completely misses the comment from the older and still has his face buried in my neck, I can feel his plush lips against my shoulder and I am really trying to concentrate on Yoongi hyung's face instead of that feeling. It's just hormones right? I need to get laid, fucking hell, he's just a boy Jeongguk, you're just missing intimacy. 

 

"Anyway, shouldn't you two be heading off now? It's a long fucking drive," Yoongi states and Taehyung's head lifts from my neck, I don't know if I am disappointed the sensations gone or not, I guess I am but I kind of want him to press his lips there again. Is that a weird thing to say? Probably considering I'm fucking straight. "Pretty sure Boss has a car waiting outside for you two, Taehyung you need to fucking learn how to drive soon." Taehyung just salutes him, Yoongi rolls his eyes before strolling off, mumbling under his breath about how immature we are and Taehyung turns back to me, his arm again flung over my shoulders, he's so fucking affectionate. 

 

"Are you nervous?" I asks thumbing over my ear lobe, he does that a lot, he cards his fingers through my hair constantly too, I never question it, I like it really. Don't tell him I said that. I just nod, he rests his head on my shoulder again, I try not to look down because our lips would be only centimeters away and I don't want that. Maybe I do. No, that's wrong. I'm straight. "It's okay to be nervous Gukkie, I was when I killed for the first time but I'll be right here with you okay?" 

 

"I know Tae, thank you," I whisper and he smiles, flicking my nose gently before softly giggling, what is this? I don't get it. 

 

"What are you thanking me for Gukkie? I haven't done anything!" I snort at that, how modest of him. He's only gone and fucking flipped my world on it's back and I have no idea what's happening to me right now. "Come on, it's a long drive to the airport, I might nap on you," he beams with a bright smile and I get lost in it, he's really beautiful, for a boy anyway. 

 

The thing is my parents decided it was smart to leave the country, too bad they did a shit job at hiding where they went and Namjoon hyung was instantly able to track them to Japan, Osaka to be precise. I'm excited, I've never been there and Taehyung said we can stay there for a couple days, scope the place out. Anyway, Boss wants us to go meet Hitoshi, he's the guy leading the assassins over in Japan for us, nice guy apparently or so hyung said. 

 

The plane ride was easy, Taehyung wasn't lying when he said he would nap on me the whole way to Incheon, not that I cared at all, if anything it made the ride there easier, he's so fucking calming. Not that I would ever vocalise my discomfort with aeroplanes, can't look like a pussy in front of Kim but he was able to soothe me. He kept taking photos of me, I found out pretty quickly that Kim is so much more than just an assassin, he's educated, loves art, photography, he has this strange obsession with Van Gogh and puppies, oh and he can fucking sing. Like shit, that voice is something else, like velvet or some shit. I sing with him sometimes, only when we are alone and in the apartment, overall for an assassin with a large fucking death count he's pretty mellow and cute. 

 

That's a new word I've learnt really, I've always been surrounded by boys that are these 'macho' jocks that play sports and don't care about anyone else but themselves and their egos. I thought the gang would be the same, just a load of men killing and being violent at all hours of the day, but I'm slowly learning that not every man has to fall into the stereotype of being manly to be a man. I look at my hyungs' and I see these individuals who have built something, have come from nothing and made it into anything they choose, I see them as role models and I want to be like them, not like the set mantra in my head of having to be this 'man'. Just take Yoongi hyung as an example, he is the epitome of, to me anyway, this character that exudes power but that doesn't come from physical strength, it's internal and I adore that. He's mentally strong, sure he has a face that sometimes looks daunting but he's a sweetheart really, don't tell him I said that he'll blow my brains out. 

 

Now Taehyung, Taehyung grew in a world where femininity was appealing, being an escort the men wanted him in lace and anything dainty. He's got a pretty face and a pretty body but he grew to be strong, he's a killer and his external persona to the world is different to what he really is. Sure, Taehyung is this cuddly teddy bear that loves attention and anything beautiful but he's so very closed off, it's hard to get him to open up. He can go from being all affectionate and wanting my undying attention to telling me to fuck off and to leave him alone. He's had a hard up bringing so I get it, he inspires me, he's beautiful and he doesn't allow others to look down on him as anything less than a human living his life how he wants. I want that too. I don't want to be shoved into a box, to be told I am only supposed to be a man that reeks of self assurance and want for sex. It's difficult because it's hardwired into me but having Taehyung around seems to alleviate the stress of being something my parents and friends told me to be. 

 

Basically I've learnt that masculinity isn't this fragile thing that is determined by your physical strength and appearance. I can be a man and not have to fall into the categories society set for us, I'm an assassin, I'm fucking deadly but that doesn't mean I don't have feelings, doesn't define my ability to be less than who I want to be. I'm muscular and strong, I'm athletic and a bit of a douche but I also just want to be able to explore my abilities in art, like Taehyung, to have a caring and positive energy like Hoseok, have the fucking intellect and empathy of Namjoon, the hard but soft interior of Yoongi and the ability to become something powerful like Seokjin. I'm trying to become all of my hyungs, a little piece of them inside my own self, it brings me comfort to know that they are there for me, that I am strong when we are all together. I'm young and careless but they are teaching me that individuality begins with me accepting myself. I no longer want to be confined to the ideals of society. I am myself and I won't let anyone take that from me. 

 

"Come," Taehyung softly hums as we get out of a taxi, Osaka is crazy, the humidity is extreme but the scenery, fuck, this place is beautiful. The architecture and skyscrapers, the abundance of people and the noisiness of the cars are like a steady humming of life, I stay close to Taehyung, his arm brushing against mine giving me all the comfort I need. It isn't until I feel one of his fingers, index to be precise, curling around  around my pinky to make me follow that I realise that maybe my affection towards him isn't just me wanting to be like him, maybe it's something I don't quite understand yet and won't probably work out until I am ready or older, but for now I'm just happy he's here, by my side, guiding me. 

 

"Namjoon hyung said they live close, we'll probably have to scope the place out, we don't want to draw attention to ourselves, it was hard enough getting through security without our weapons being found," he mumbles under his breath, not that many people would probably understand us or even care to take notice, I just nod, my eyes latching onto the enormous buildings toppling over us, they always make me feel small, times like this I realise how insignificant we are in the universe but somehow that brings a comfort, that maybe life isn't meant to be something with such high grandeur, that it's okay to be lost. 

 

Taehyung is quickly tugging me along, my luggage accidentally hitting into people as I snap apologies at eyes that scour, "Taehyung slow down, I keep hitting people!" I moan releasing my hand from his and he stops, looks down at his finger and then my hand like I just broke a bond of trust or some shit. "I need to slow down," I faintly vocalise and he frowns, I suddenly feel my confidence quickly pouring out, "I don't know if I can do this Tae," I squeak and before I know it I'm in his arms, his embrace so strong that I feel a tear release from my eye and he just holds me close. Why is he so good to me? He's everything. 

 

"Gguk it's okay, lets put everything in the hotel alright? I'll run you a bath, calm down it's going to be okay," he's too good, too good to be true. I can only fumble over a nod, he slowly lets go and is quick to give my arm a reassuring squeeze before taking my whole hand in his. I don't like the feeling between it, like ecstatic and I've never felt that before. It's just hormones. 

 

Taehyung wasn't lying when he said he was going to run me a bath, literally the moment we arrive at our hotel room he's straight into the en-suite and the sound of water gushing fills the room. I sit there nervously on the edge of my bed, I look around, I'm too anxious to look outside but I know from Taehyung's reaction that it's pretty. I'm trying not to think too hard about it all, I want to do it, I mean they have hurt me more than I can even describe, leaving their son with the intention that he would be killed instead is fucking revolting for parents who apparently 'love' their child. Just the thought brims me with anger but I'm scared to see them, I'm scared that the moment my eyes lay on the two people who raised me, I won't be able to do it. I want to, so fucking bad but I'm just unsure. 

 

"Gukkie!" Taehyung calls suddenly and I twist my head over towards where he is, he reaches his hands out and signals for me to come by clenching the air with a screwed up nose, he's cute and I let a small smile grace my expression. "Come here, bath time!" He's clearly trying to pretend I'm a toddler or something, usually I get all shitty with him whenever he acts like I'm younger than I am because I am turning into a man and I don't need any babying but he looks really soft and innocent in this light and I just can't bring myself to get annoyed. 

 

"Thank you hyung," Taehyung only nods, I awkwardly walk past him and into the bathroom to see the tub filled with bubbles and I can't help but giggle. 

 

"What are you laughing at?" He asks turning back around and watching me as I giggle cheerfully, he's trying to not smile but I can tell he's going to burst into his familiar boxy grin any second now, yep, there it is. "Jeongguk don't laugh at my bath!" He storms into the bathroom too and pushes me slightly, I just continue laughing, I don't even really know what I am giggling at but I feel this sudden elation and happiness. "Fine, be a dick," he huffs playfully before turning to walk out, I instantly stop laughing and grab his wrist. 

 

He looks down at my hand in confusion before trailing up to my face, his eyebrows furrowed gently with a small pout. "Stay," I whisper and his eyes go wide, I think he's malfunctioning. I burst into laughter again, "I'm joking hyung, thanks for the bath," he just blinks a couple times and doesn't move. 

 

"You're joking?" He asks with hesitation and I'm not sure how to reply, I wasn't really joking, I like his company but I guess it's a weird thing to do with someone. I just nod quickly and I don't miss the disappointment clear in his eyes, I bite my tongue, no Jeongguk, it's weird. It's just your hormones. "O-okay, urm, I'll see you when you're out I guess. Don't be too long," he clears his throat and I realise I still have my hand gripped around his wrist, I awkwardly let go and he smiles before walking out. I'm a fucking idiot. Good job Jeongguk, you've gone and fucked that right up.  

 

When I get out of the tub Taehyung is lying on his bed reading, my hair is dripping wet and his eyes flicker up into mine as soon as I am in the room. He huffs and drops his book, launching from the bed and into the bathroom, did I do something wrong? Great, he's trying to avoid me. I pout, why am I such a fucking idiot? Always say the wrong fucking thing.

 

 decide now is probably a good time to look out at the view, that way I can't see if Taehyung is actually trying to ignore me or not. I open the curtains that Taehyung had drawn and peer out at the unfamiliar view, it's just skyscrapers but in the darkness of the growing night it's buzzing with luminescent lights in a canopy of eye catching slogans. 

 

I don't expect the sudden warmth of a soft towel to en capture my head, I jolt slightly at the sudden weight before realising Taehyung is trying to dry my hair. "How many times have I told you, you'll catch a cold if you don't dry your hair Gguk!" He speaks with this soft determination that I can't help but smile at. He directs me to the bed, his hands rubbing purposefully against the wisps of my wet hair. 

 

"Do you like the view?" He asks plopping me down on the plush mattress and jumping up to get a better angle to shake every last drop from my raven coloured hair. I just hum, allowing myself to get lost in the closeness of his legs and stomach pressed against my back, his warmth seeping through in golden rays into my skin. "Was the bath good?" I just hum again, it would have been better if I hadn't been worrying the whole time about if I had made things awkward between us. 

 

"Sorry for what I said earlier, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," I mumble, Taehyung stops rubbing my hair for a moment, did I say something wrong again? For fuck sake Jeongguk. "

 

Hyung?" I ask cautiously after a longer period than I would have liked of him just being silent, "I don't know what I was saying, of course you wouldn't want to stay with me whilst I bathed, it was stupid and a joke and I don't want this to be awkward between us because we are both boys and-"

 

"Jeongguk," he interrupts, his voice dulcet and tender, he removes the towel from my head that was covering my eyes somewhat and turns me to the side so I am facing him. I gulp, the lights outside the window glow onto his honey skin and fuck, it's hormones Jeongguk, leave it. "What do you mean awkward because we are boys?"

 

"I- I just meant, that urm- urr, because we are boys you wouldn't want to see that? I don't know it was a joke hyung, I didn't mean it!" I panic slightly but his face doesn't change, he isn't looking at me in the eyes, he's more turned to the side in contemplation, probably trying to work out what the fuck I'm saying because even I don't really know. "It was a spur of the moment thing to say and I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable because you're a boy-"

 

"Jeongguk stop using my gender as an excuse," what? What? I didn't say that did I? "Being a boy doesn't mean I can't see you naked, don't be silly. You didn't make me uncomfortable, I was more shocked because you've never said anything like that to me before, I just thought you were, you know," he makes his gesture with his eyes, tilting his head forward a little but I'm confused, I furrow my brows, I'm what? He huffs awkwardly, "I thought you were straight," my eyes go wide and mouth gawps like a fish. He just stares back, now he looks like he said something wrong, "I didn't want to assume anything, it's just when I met you you were literally listening into straight porn being filmed so I just thought you were straight but your comment confused me."

 

"I am straight!" I almost snap and his mouth closes instantly in shock at my outburst, fucking hell this is awkward. "I mean, I like girls, yeah, I like girls!" He just nods, he's slowly shifted away from me and I don't like the distance, I want him back here pressed against me, wait, what? I didn't say that, that was my hormones talking. "Yeah, girls, I like girls. Not boys. That's weird." I'm too caught up in my attempt to prove my masculinity that I don't realise Taehyung has left the bed and is stood further away with an expression of pure hurt riddled on his face. Did I say something wrong? 

 

"It's weird?" He asks croakily, oh fuck, fucking gold medal for me today in fucking every conversation I have up. "So you find me weird?" Wait what? What's he saying right now. 

 

"I- I don't understand hyung, why would I find you weird? You like girls right?" His lack of response tells me I really fucked up, his eyes flicker to the ground, he lets out a chocked up giggle and I realise he's crying. Fucking way to go Jeongguk! "No, no hyung! I don't find you weird! It's just I don't, I'm not into... boys? It's weird for me but I don't care if you are, I mean good for you I guess?"

 

"Good for me?" 

 

"Urr... yeah? I mean if you like dick then good for you I guess?" 

 

"What do you mean you guess? I'm gay Jeongguk, is that weird for you? I thought you knew?" No I fucking did not! I guess that was me just assuming that everyone in this fucking universe is straight because I am, yeah, I'm straight, I only like girls, definitely don't like Taehyung like that. No sirree. 

 

"Wait, you're gay?" I didn't mean for that to sound like I'm repulsed, just honestly throw me a spade because I'm fucking digging myself a new fucking Grand Canyon over here. Taehyung's face brims with tears and I want to fucking smack myself. "Hyung! Hyung, no don't cry! Fuck, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to upset you, this is just new to me, I've never had a gay friend before. I don't think you're weird at all! I love hanging out with you, your sexuality doesn't change that for me, if anything I like you more now."

 

"You like me more because I'm gay?" Okay I can see how that sounds wrong, I just nod cautiously. "You've never had a gay friend before?" I shake my head, "how the fuck did you think I was straight Jeongguk?" He giggles, are we okay? I'm so fucking confused how this conversation even came into reality right now. 

 

"I guess I just thought everyone was straight, that's all I've ever known," Taehyung frowns at that, his head tilting to the side and I can see the dried tear stains on his cheeks. "I knew you had to hook up with men when you were an escort but I thought that was only because you had to and not because you like men?"

 

"I didn't like any of them Jeongguk but yes I'm gay and yes I like dick! Oh god, did I make you uncomfortable? Sorry, I'm not used to having something so set on proving he's straight before." Ouch, burn. 

 

"I am straight." 

 

"If you say so, nothing against it Gukkie. You're not going to be weirded out by me touching you anymore are you?" 

 

"No! No, never hyung! I love it when you touch me-" He snorts as my whole body curls in on itself in shame, someone sew my fucking mouth shut before I die from embarrassment. "I mean, I've never had a friend that's so touchy before, I like it, you make me feel safe hyung." Good save? I think that was a good save.  

 

"Okay. Now we have that out the way do you want some ramen? You must be hungry right?" I just nod, thank fuck he changed the fucking subject Jesus, I was about to jump out the window to escape. I can't help but see Taehyung differently now, it isn't a bad difference, I somewhat feel more content knowing it, a sense of relief and I'm not sure why. I'm straight though, I mean I had a fucking girlfriend, I couldn't ever like boys. Taehyung starts humming under his breath and my breathing hitches, I stare at the older boy in a fog of something unknown. Okay, I don't like boys. Yeah, not boys. He turns back to look at me with the widest grin, he's pointing at the strange bear cartoon on a food package and I feel my heart clench. So, fucking, beautiful. 

 

Okay I don't like boys. I might, slightly, a tiny little bit, a small ounce of, teeny weeny bit, might like one boy. But it's just hormones, right? 

 

 // 

 

The moment I step foot into the home my parents are staying in I know there is was no need for me to worry, a burst of anger scurries over my body and overtakes my longing to just see them again and for them to want me back. For all they know I was killed when they left all those months ago, I didn't and now I will be their final image before they sink into oblivion. I'm thinking of it as poetic justice, parents leave me to be killed by the wolves for only the pack to turn around and kill them instead. The drive here was a little awkward, I don't really know what to say to Taehyung so I just allowed us to sit in silence and contemplate how we are actually meant to kill them. 

 

"Don't get too carried away Gguk, just clean swoops to the neck, no need to make a show okay?" Taehyung whispers lowly as we enter the house, it's nothing special, as far as I can tell anyway considering it's dark outside. Taehyung decided it would be better to do it under the mask of night, Japan isn't exactly marked territory for either of us so daylight would probably be slaughter. I can smell them, is that a weird thing to say? I mean it smells like my old home, it's a nostalgic scent that no longer brings me comfort or joy, it only increases my anger until I want nothing more than to just kill them right now. How dare they leave me behind? How fucking dare they betray their own son like that. 

 

They must be in bed, I mean it's quarter past one in the morning, of course they are in bed. Mum used to make sure lights were out by half ten, I obviously didn't abide to that rule at all but the less she knew the less it hurt her. I allow Taehyung to lead the way, he has his Katana out just in case but I doubt it will be needed, besides I am the one who needs to do the blows, I need to kill my own parents and the funny thing is is that I don't actually give a flying fuck. I haven't seen them as my parents in a long time, possibly before even all of this played out because they never truly did care for me that much, I was just kind of there, a puppet to control and shape into the young boy they wanted me to be. Shame it didn't work at all. 

 

Taehyung earned his name as Ghost, that boys footsteps are silent, I don't even think a bat or some shit could hear him coming. It's probably because he took his shoes off, probably a good idea considering I'm wearing clunky as fuck Timberlands. Not a good choice I'll admit, they are going to get ruined, fuck, I didn't think of that. Oh well, I'll just have to be extra careful when slicing their throats. I decided that's probably the easiest way to kill them, quick cut over the neck and it's over. 

 

My breath hitches when the familiar noise of snoring from my Father comes into hearing, this is actually happening, I'm about to kill my parents. Taehyung grabs my hand before I open the door, his eyes are wide and I can tell he's worried for me. I just nod, a silent remark of telling him that I'm okay and I don't care about them. He's my family now, not these people, not these imposters in the form of my Mum and Dad. 

 

With that I slam the door open, my Mother who was always a light sleeper jolts upwards and screams, I turn the light on as my Father wakes up and they both stare back at me in absolute shock. It's comedic really, I'm probably a nightmare for them now, looking in the eyes of their son they abandoned like he was some useless cloth. I realise Taehyung hasn't come into the room the moment I shut the door, I just stand there with the knife securely attached to my jeans under the hoodie, they can't see it. "J-Jeongguk?" My mother stammers as she hesitates if to come over to me or not, she really is a horrible Mother, wouldn't anyone's first instinct after seeing their son for the first time would be to throw your arms around him in comfort? In relief that he isn't dead? Of course not, they just look at me like I've grown two heads. 

 

"Hello Mum," I speak lowly, my voice is deeper than when they last saw me, I've grown too, my shoulders are somewhat wider from all the training. "Pleased to see me?" I ask latching my eyes onto her, she just looks away, that was her cue, her cue to tell me that yes she did, but of course not. I really was a burden wasn't I? "It's nice to see you all settled in, lovely place you have here, tell me does it come with an extra bedroom or did you purposely only get a house with one bedroom?" I sneer and both parents sit there uncomfortably, they clearly are unsure of my presence, they obviously thought I was dead. 

 

"What are you doing here son?" My Father speaks and I laugh, it's humourless, wrong fucking question Dad. Wrong fucking question. 

 

"I could ask you the same question Pa, what are you doing here? Five hundred and fifteen miles away from your son? What exactly did you expect when you ran away?" Both their eyes lower to the floor, good, fucking feel horrible you pieces of shit. 

 

"Jeongguk let me explain honey-"

 

"No Mum, don't fucking call me honey like you haven't thought of me as dead for the past four months!" That's when I bring the knife out, both their eyes widening as they shift, "you see, whilst you two were playing happy fucking families here after you abandoned your son, I was out there earning a place in a real family."

 

"Jeongguk honey, put the knife down," Mum lowly speaks, her eyes trained on the knife, I just laugh, pathetic. 

 

"No. I've made a man out of myself Mum, I'm not your little boy anymore, you don't get that privledge to call me your son, not now you've abandoned me."

 

"Son we didn't abandon you, please understand that we needed to get away-"

 

"You abandoned me. You left me to die at the hands of the Eagles in return for your safety. You sacrificed me, your own fucking son! It's failed though hasn't it? You didn't expect to see me again did you? Didn't expect to see your son holding a knife up at you, I'm an assassin now. After this, I'm a fully fledged Eagle, a Sasin. How does that make you feel? Knowing you are my first kills? Your own son, I don't need you anymore, I'm not yours to have." 

 

"Jeongg-" I don't allow my Father to finish his sentence instead I step forward and slam him against the headboard, my Mother screaming as I slash the throat of my Father like he was a lambs carcass, nothing. He's nothing to me. I allow the blood to burst onto my skin, his jugular squirting dark red paint over the white walls and sheets. My eyes never straying from his as he gags, blood pouring from his mouth as he tenses, eyes strained and body shaking. He won't survive that. I thought he'd put up a bigger fight considering he's always on my fucking case about being manly and being able to defend myself and my girl, fucking hypocrite. 

 

I turn to see my Mother, she's crying, screaming at me as Taehyung holds her in a headlock, his own knife pressed against her neck. My eyes only see red, there's no Mother figure left in my life. I only have my brothers. "J-Jeongguk! Hon-honey, please dar-darling!" I just shake my head as Taehyung stretches her neck to bare her jugular to me, her eyes squeezing shut as she trembles, I have no remorse for her. 

 

"I loved you Mum, you were everything to me at one point, but I have my brothers now, I don't need you or Dad. Goodbye." The whimper isn't something I want to dwell on, the pressure I use to just slightly tear the skin of my Mother's neck isn't something I want to remind myself of, how her eyes go shallow and bland as they look at me. I don't look, I keep my eyes on Taehyung, I keep my eyes on the one person that's stopping me from feeling like a monster. 

 

She lifts a shaky hand to my face, cupping my cheek and I freeze, stop. I close my eyes tight, stop. "It's okay," Taehyung whispers, I open my eyes to his words and with one final push of strength I slash her throat entirely. The hand quickly falls from my face, her body crashing to the ground as she convulses and chokes on blood. I don't want to look, I keep my eyes on Taehyung. I'm soaked in blood, drenched and I know that'll be something I need to work on when doing killings but I did it. I killed them and now I'm a true Sasin. 

 

"You did good Gukkie, I'm proud of you!" Taehyung speaks yanking me into an embrace and I close my eyes once more, I think past the smell of copper, think past the thick taste of blood, past the heaviness of it on my skin and allow the scent of him to overwhelm my senses instead. "I'm so, so, so proud!" He almost yells and I giggle into his neck, "it was a little dramatic but I get it, they were your parents," I lift my head at that and look into the ash torn irises that glimmer like a thousand galaxies, his long elongated eyelashes fluttering like feathers and I'm so confused at this strange sensation in my stomach, tingling? It's hormones. 

 

"They are not my family anymore, you are." He smiles widely and cups my cheeks and scrunches his nose and I can only burst into a cheesy grin, he makes me so happy and I don't know why. "You're like the brother I never had hyung, thank you for being here," I see his smile falter slightly but he holds it well, instead he leans forward and kisses me softly on the forehead, I don't know why my heart just dead ass stopped and my stomach did about twenty thousand flips but I strangely liked it? I've never felt that before. I can't contemplate it for long before he's dragging me out the house and out onto the streets of Osaka. I almost forgot we were in Japan, to be honest I think I would forget even the prettiest places on Earth when stood next to Taehyung, he seems to be the only thing my mind remembers. 

 

 


 

 

 

SEOUL - DONGJAK-GU // 19 SEPTEMBER // 13.02PM

It's been just under a month, a month that's been pretty fucking shit. Jimin and myself are not talking, he's staying at the apartments like I told him to and the only time we will interact is if we are in a meeting, I try to act civil but he makes it really fucking hard. Taehyung is talking to me again, not that he ever really stopped, he just didn't like me mentioning Kwan like that but it isn't as comfortable or cozy as it was before. I've spent most of my time doing assassinations and building my strength back up, I'm the fittest I've ever been and it shows, in the past month I've gained forty kills under my belt, all snakes and to say Kwan is pissed off would be an understatement. 

 

"Right now that you're nineteen you're the one buying lamb skewers from now on," hyung speaks as we walk casually down the streets, I turn to smile at him, has he shrunk? He looks smaller. No he just has a really shitty posture, "yah! Don't give me that look, I'm being fucking deadly serious right now!"

 

"Sure hyung, anything you say," he knows full well that I am never buying lamb skewers, he spoils me too much to actually make me be the one to pay, it's funny really watching him be so set on me doing something to only end up him doing it instead. He whacks the back of my neck before tugging me through the busy streets, we've got a business meeting this morning with Hitoshi, he's come over from Japan to discuss the plan about the snakes, it's soon, I know it. 

 

We walk past a video game store and without hyung realising I slither into the store, it's nothing special, just some EDM playing lowly as sweaty teenagers and men who sit on their arses all day just snooping around. I just skim over the isles brimming with games, I hum walking down towards a section that I recognise, it's the same game I never got to play because hyung snatched me up but it's updated, fuck, now I want to play it. 

 

I pull it out and read over it, 'In a time of global crisis, an international task force of heroes banded together to restore peace to a war-torn world: OVERWATCH.' Seems pretty fucking cool, I mean I'll probably have no time to play it but now I really fucking want it. "Kid why the fuck did you walk off you dork!" Yoongi hyung huffs, interrupting my contemplation if to buy it or not, he looks down at the game, "you really are a fucking dork!"

 

"You know, dork is a whales penis," Yoongi doesn't reply, he just kind of stands there rigidly as if trying to work out if I am lying, I'm not. 

 

"Why are you so fucking obsessed with animal dicks?" I snort at that, I've mentioned animal dick twice and now he seems to think I'm some fanatic, "I literally didn't ask for an etymology of the word dork you fucking dick," hostility is Yoongi's middle name I swear it, it's never harsh though and I always just end up teasing him more. 

 

"What the fuck is etymology?" I ask turning towards him, I swear he's shrunk. 

 

"Fucking origin of a word you dumb piece of shit, fucking hell what did they teach you in school?" 

 

"Not whatever that fucking word was!"

 

"Yeah well maybe they should have educated you better and not only taught you that a whale's dick is called a fucking dork!" I burst into laughter, he's really passionate about me getting an education isn't he? Fucking hell. "Seriously kid, I hate that you didn't finish school." 

 

"I know hyung, but you've taught me everything I need to know, school wouldn't teach me shit that would help in the gang."

 

"Just shut up and buy your game you man child, I'll be outside." Hyung's been in a funny mood recently, it isn't exactly unusual for him to get sarky and a little aggravated at me but I've noticed it happening a lot more frequently, nothing bad ever comes from it but I've picked up on it. I've tired making more of an effort to keep him on his good side because I like when hyung can have a laugh with me and act like we are brothers and not colleagues. Hyung has always had a hard time switching his 'Shadow' mode off, so do I but I probably get that from him. Taehyung never seemed to have an issue with going from Taehyung to Ghost, he was able to find an equilibrium where he could focus on one or the other, I don't think myself or hyung have found that yet. I also think he's a little stressed out, I mean our plan to be around Kim constantly kind of failed because of me but Jimin apparently hangs out with him a lot, I was kind of forced to not be a back up dancer, it seemingly wasn't good for Taehyung or some shit, I don't even know. 

 

13.35PM

"Ah Jeongguk! My you've grown!" Those are the first words Hitoshi speaks to me, he's got his classic small frame black sunglasses on, I don't think I've ever seen him without them. He's a funny fella Hitoshi, a little on the heavier side but hey, it's all part of his charm. He dresses like he's stuck in the nineties and looks like he belongs in some two star comedic gang movie, like a knock off Goodfellas or something, it's funny really. He doesn't get up from his seat, probably can't, no I shouldn't say that, Hitoshi is very kind to me. "When was the last time I saw you ay? Must have been when you were what?"

 

"Fourteen," I reply quickly with a wide smile as I go over and shake his head, he just pulls me down into an embrace and laughs loudly in my ear, he smells like cigarettes and mold wine. He finally releases me from his hold after a little too long for my liking but that's just him, he's trying to tease me. "It was after my first kill, I was with Kim, we came to discuss the gang," Hitoshi just nods enthusiastically like it was yesterday, or a very fond memory, Yoongi hyung keeps him distance, probably doesn't want to fall victim to a bone crushing hug. 

 

"Ah yes! I remember! Two young boys, fresh blood! Where is Kim?" I turn to look at Yoongi hyung, Hitoshi raises an eyebrow in question as he shifts and crosses his legs. I look around the room trying to avoid his stare through the glasses, he's got about fifteen guards here with him, all heavy loaded and the table he's sat at has an abundance of different cases which are definitely filled with weapons to show us. 

 

"Snakes have him, had him for months now. I thought Boss debriefed you on the situation?" Yoongi hyung asks moving forward and sitting down beside Hitoshi. The air is a little thick between them, they never really got on like myself and Kim did with him, but I think it's more a case of just butting heads than anything serious, a clash of personalities per say. Hitoshi's eyes turn towards me again, I can only go off his sudden shocked facial expressions, god I wish he would take the glasses off, I wonder what his eyes look like. Considering he has a massive scar in his left eyebrow I reckon he looks like one of those dudes with a gammy eye, maybe that's why he wears them. Holy shit. I never thought of that before. 

 

"I feel like Boss might have mentioned it but you know me, I wasn't listening!" He cackles and Yoongi just huffs something under his breath, I smirk, he really doesn't want to be here. "So it's just Jeongguk now? Snipers out on his own?" Yoongi is quick to shake his head, I'm still just standing back, I don't really want to sit down, I prefer standing in situations like this, quicker to escape if something were to go wrong, unlikely it will but still, I have to be on my prime. "What? A new Sasin? Ay, Jeongguk! You got a new fella?" 

 

"Yeah, Park, he doesn't have a code name yet," Hitoshi frowns, I was supposed to go over code names with Jimin but then we fell out. It isn't like I haven't tried to fix things, I've gone over to the apartments multiple times to apologise but Jimin said he needs time to get over it all, I get it, but I just want him to say sorry to me and then I won't feel so fucking angry whenever someone mentions his name. 

 

"Why isn't he here?" 

 

"He's on a mission with Jung, Hitoshi. That's why I am here, now enough with all these formalities, lets just push on okay?" Yoongi gruffly replies, turning on his chair to face the table and Hitoshi just laughs again, a proper belly laugh as he watches the older, Yoongi is trying so hard not to roll his eyes at the older man. Hitoshi is actually the only other person in the whole of the gang to have seen Seokjin in person, he's devoted to the gang and vowed to secrecy, that's why he knows our real names. He's a good guy, valuable to our team, he keeps Kwan at bay over here, who is trying to expand his gang into Japan, failing obviously. 

 

Hitoshi gets up from his chair with a loud groan, he really has put a lot more weight on since we last saw him, he's quick to signal his men over and they begin opening each case. The abundance of weaponry that's laid out in front of us is astounding, rifles and different knives that I've never seen before. "Did Jung like his flamethrower?" I tell him about him using it to burn snakes all the time and he begins to bellow with laughter, even Yoongi cracks a smile as the older smacks the table, it wasn't that funny but Hitoshi is about on the same level of sadistic as Hoseok hyung. "Now," he says wiping his eyes with his chubby fingers under his glasses, he turns just like hyung and begins enthusiastically stating each weapon.

 

"Machine guns, lots of them, you'll need it. I've got ammunition times twelve and I was even able to worm my way into the good books of the Chinese, they kindly gave us some gunpowder, low explosive of course to only hinder but these are the real beauties," Hitoshi smirks, his hands patting on the cases, "I got Kim a new knife, The dark ops interceptor." He takes this knife out of it's casing to reveal something that would make Kim's eyes glimmer, stainless steel, partially serrated and holy fuck, it must span at least sixteen inches. Hitoshi flaunts it around a little, twirling the blade over his fingers in one mighty swoop before handing it over to me, "for the young assassin," he says with a bow and holy shit, this is fucking awesome. I just smirk at Yoongi who looks bored, his arms crossed and fingers drumming against his elbow just waiting for Hitoshi to get on with it. 

 

"Hitoshi," Yoongi deadpans and the older is quick to get back to business, he clears his throat before opening the cases, you know in cartoons when they open a treasure chest or something and their eyes light up at the gold shimmering out? just imagine that happening to both of us as soon as we notice what's in there. "Anzio Ironwroks 20mm rifles?" Yoongi asks with his eyebrows raised with intrigue, these guns are fucking weapons, I've heard of them but we were never able to get our hands on them. Hitoshi traces his fingers over the black weapon, my eyes adorning into it's beauty, fuck with this we would be unstoppable, we will be unstoppable. 

 

"Yeah, was able to pull some strings over in America, range of three miles, fires bullets at thirty-eight thousand foot-pounds of kinetic energy, it's fucking lethal." I can see Yoongi hyung smirking from my peripheral vision, he's impressed. "That isn't everything, I have something you'll enjoy, Jung the most," with that he opens another hefty looking case to reveal something that makes Yoongi hyung stand and gaze into the case at a different angle, the noise he makes tells me he's enjoying what he's seeing. "Metal storm, thirty-six barreled machine gun, highest fire rate in the world, one million rounds per minute for an one-hundred and eighty burst, they won't get away from this." I can't help the chuckle that elicits from my mouth, I bite down on my tongue, this is more than I ever expected from meeting with Hitoshi, he's pulled through with the big guns - quite literally. 

 

Yoongi hyung is quick to race over to him and shake his hand but Hitoshi just pulls him into an embrace, patting his back incredibly hard but hyung holds himself well. "Hitoshi you may have just won us this war," Yoongi pleasantly smiles, Hitoshi just chuckles lowly, acting like he isn't the best person in the fucking world, so very humble of him. "We still need to talk Kwan, Adder if you didn't know. Park, the new Sasin he's cousins with Adder, we caught him back in July and he's been on our side obviously. We've learnt things, disgusting things about Baem Gumeong, even more fucking repulsive things about Adder. He has Kim, our plan is to get Kim and kill Kwan. We have infiltrated, Park is working alongside Jeongguk here as 'friends' of Kim." Hitoshi looks confused and I realise hyung left an important detail out. 

 

"Kim doesn't remember us," my statement seems to freeze the older in place, it's hard to tell if he's looking at me through his glasses but I'm guessing he is. Hyung sighs heavily, it's still a tough subject since we found out that Kim purposefully removed his memories of us. "Kim was taken and tortured, we were able to find videos of him on Kwan's computer, I won't go into detail but he was used by the gang sexually, he was attacked and forced to give information, he wrongly identified me on purpose after watching a child being raped by Kwan. He asked for his memories to be taken if he was going to stay in the gang as theirs. When I met him last month, he's an idol now by the way, I know fucking confusing, but he doesn't have any recollection of us but he knows what Kwan is feeding him is false but he's tied to him. He believes they are in a relationship, Kwan has his hands around his throat and we need to get him out. If we get Kim we can kill Kwan. With your help we can do that." Hitoshi nods, it's a lot to digest I know, he seems to be coping well. He sits back down, leaning against the chair with a strange pout of contemplation. 

 

"Alright, I'm following. How do we kill this cunt?" I just turn to look at hyung, his eyes glimmering as he goes over the plan once more, my eyes never faltering from the new knife, I'll use this on him, I'll slice his throat and smirk whilst doing it. He won't get away with what he's done. No fucking way. 

 

 

 


 

 

 

SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 21 SEPTEMBER // 14.18AM

The nostalgic ringing of my phone draws me from my sleep, I groan twisting onto my side to bury my head into the crease of my elbow. "Fuck off," I mutter groggily but the impending buzzing only seems to be getting louder and more irritating. I scowl, lifting my head drowsily and reach a hand out to find the phone with half arsed effort. I curse under my breath when it falls to the floor and I smack my head on the bed frame, fucking shit.

 

I just turn the side lamp on and sit there contemplating my existence as I try to wake myself up. That's when I realise whoever is calling me must be in trouble, it can't be hyung because I'm in his fucking house and he isn't that lazy to call me up if he needs something. 

 

The ringing stops and the buzz of the night engulfs my ears and I don't like it. I bend over to finally pick the phone up and see a name I didn't expect to see, Taehyung. I furrow my brows, why is he calling me at twenty past two in the morning? I don't think about it before I am quickly unlocking my phone and seeing he's actually called me four times, "fuck," I hiss, he's obviously in trouble. I fumble over the keys before pressing his name to call him again, the ringing takes too long in my opinion. My leg bouncing up and down in anticipation for the static to come and for the sound of his voice to drown through but it doesn't, it goes to voicemail. 

 

I try again, and again. Again. What the fuck? I try one last time and this time he picks up. Or at least I think he does, I move the phone away from my ear, yeah the time is there, five seconds, nine seconds, no noise on the other end. I'm cautious to call out to him, just a blurred noise of air coming through the speaker. "Taehyung?" I whisper cautiously, I wait for a reply or some indication that he's there. I don't like this, I don't like this at all. 

 

I sit there listening to the droning of static down the line for a good five minutes before there's a death curdling screech. I am quick to move the phone away from my ear, what the fuck was that? Soon there's a noise, panting? Breathing? "Taehyung?" I ask again louder this time and the breathing stops, I stop breathing too, trying my hardest to listen to any indication that someone is there, that Taehyung is there. "Taehyung?" I ask again, the breathing starts again and I don't like it. I can't tell if it's him. It must be. "Taehyung, is that you?" No reply. "It's Justin, are you okay? Please tell me you're okay," nothing. 

 

I'm pretty sure I hear a choked up noise and I dart up from my bed, is he hurt? "Taehyung?" I ask again a little more panicked as I dart out of my room and straight into hyung's. I kick him awake quickly and he curses, "hyung, Taehyung," I whisper away from the phone and he looks at me with drowsy annoyance. I put the phone on speaker and suddenly the noise of breathing floods into the darkness of hyung's room. It sends shivers down my spine, why isn't he replying. "Taehyung?" I call once more,  a muffled noise sprouting through the speaker, broken by poor signal but my heart jumps, it's him? Yoongi looks at me, rubbing his eyes in confusion, I don't understand. 

 

There it is again, a crackled noise, that's Taehyung. That has to be Taehyung. "Call Jimin," I demand hyung and he's quick to grab his phone. "Taehyung!" I speak loudly, my voice is coated in anxiety, I don't like this at all. "Please just tell me you're okay!" Nothing, just another crackled splutter, please don't be hurt, please. 

 

"He isn't answering," Yoongi mumbles and that's when the screech comes through the phone again, startling both of us in the process, what the fuck is that? Poor signal probably, it doesn't sound like it's coming from him, it's mechanical, phone technicalities. "I'll try him again, keep trying to get him to talk," Yoongi speaks and I nod, biting my lip as Yoongi tries to call Jimin. Why isn't he picking up? I don't like this. "Fuck, straight to voicemail," Yoongi hisses. 

 

"Jeongguk?" Our eyes latch onto one anothers, Taehyung. Yoongi shakes his head, I can't get rid of my cover now. 

 

"Taehyung, it's Justin, can you say something?" Crackle. 

 

"Jeongguk." 

 

"No, Justin. Taehyung you're talking to Justin." 

 

"No, Jeongguk!"

 

"Taehyung! Are you okay? You're talking to Justin!"

 

"No! I want Jeongguk!" Jeongguk, my heart pounds, he isn't supposed to know that name. Only Gguk. Not Jeongguk. How does he know that? Does he remember? Yoongi shakes his head, I know I can't blow my cover even if I want to scream at him that I am Jeongguk, that he wants me and I want him safe. 

 

"Taehyung, where are you?"

 

"I-" the phone cuts off, static bursting through like clawing at my eardrums, what the fuck? "I-" Stammers again, "-m, Kw-, in a-, ca-'t esc-." 

 

"What? Taehyung say it again."

 

"I-'m, st-ck wi- Kwa-, in a- ca-, I can-'t es-!" I look to Yoongi to see if he caught any of that, stupid signal. 

 

"I can't hear you Tae, say it again!" 

 

"Jeon-uk, I kn- it's y----" 

 

"Hello? Taehyung? Tae! Taehyung? Can you hear me?" I panic, the noise of beeping flashes in the room and I realise we lost service. What the fuck? "Hyung," I whine, he looks just as confused and panicked as me. Before we can say anything else Yoongi's phone bursts to life, startling us once more, Jimin. He's quick to answer and I pray to fucking god we don't have another repeat of just now. 

 

"Jimin?" 

 

"Hyung? Why did you call?"

 

"Where are you?"

 

"...in the apartment, why?"

 

"Taehyung called Jeongguk, he sounds like he's in trouble."

 

"No? I was with him just now, he's fine?"

 

"What? Why were you with him?"

 

"...hyung are you feeling okay? Taehyung is fine, I was literally just with him."

 

"How long ago?"

 

"Like... I just got back, he wanted me to stay with him because Kwan's out."

 

"Why didn't you stay with him Jimin?"

 

"He was asleep, look I'm tired and I don't feel like being interrogated."

 

"Okay, I'm going to get Jeongguk to go over ther-"

 

"No! No you can't!"

 

"What? Why not?"

 

"...he's asleep, don't wake him up hyung."

 

"Jimin, Taehyung just called us and he sounds like he is in trouble, why are you acting like that's totally normal?"

 

"Hyung trust me, he's fine. I wouldn't lie to you."

 

"Okay, we'll leave it tonight but if we go over there in the morning and he isn't there I swear to fucking god Jimin."

 

"He'll be there."

 

"He called Jeongguk by his real name."

 

"What?"

 

"He called him Jeongguk."

 

"That's impossible."

 

"Apparently not."

 

"...Look I have to go. Bye."

 

"I don't fucking trust him," I spit out, turning on my heels and storming out of his room to grab my coat, "he sounds fucking fishy hyung, I don't trust that at all. I'm going over there." Yoongi follows, he seems unsure which confuses me. "Hyung? Jimin was lying wasn't he?" 

 

"I don't know Jeongguk, Jimin hasn't lied to us before, why would he now? I think we should trust him, he's reliable he's shown that multiple times in the past. You taught me to trust him, why are you so quick to go against him now?"

 

"Because he sounded fucking fishy hyung! Look me in the eyes and tell me he wasn't lying to us. He literally was so quick to tell us not to go over there, Taehyung is our main priority, I'm not fucking letting anyone touch him hyung." Yoongi follows silently as I gather my things into a backpack, I'm not taking any chances, Taehyung could be in serious fucking danger. I have noted that he hasn't tried to call since, that's a warning sign in itself and I'm not allowing Jimin's hesitance to sway me, Taehyung is all I care about. 

 

"Jeongguk I think you're being too rash, think about it. Why would Jimin lie?" 

 

"Because he's fucking Kwan's cousin and he hates me!"

 

"Now you're just being petty, you seriously think Jimin would betray us on him having a little fall out with you?"

 

"Yeah, I've seen people turn against us for less than that hyung, why are you being so quick to defend him huh?"

 

"Don't be fucking stupid Jeongguk, I trust my brothers and Jimin is one of them now. He wouldn't lie, just go back to bed."

 

"No! I'm not going to sit here whilst Taehyung is clearly in distress! I'm not going to allow him to be hurt again hyung, I fucking love him!" 

 

 

Chapter Text

 

SEOUL - GANGNAM-GU // 21 SEPTEMBER // 14.37AM

The adrenaline that's pounding in my ears making my heart boom is distracting, my feet carrying me as fast as I can as I race down the streets of Gangnam, Taehyung. Taehyung. That's my only thought, what if he's injured? In pain? Fuck, what if he isn't there? I can taste blood in my mouth from running too fast without any care for pace; I just need to get to him. I don't know why I was so quick to say Jimin was lying, I just felt like he was, it didn't settle well in my stomach, and I have a terrible feeling that he isn't as devoted to us as he makes out.

 

I wish he were. I want to sort out the issue between us, I still care about him a lot, I always look at him and feel my stomach tighten with this giddiness, but it's nothing compared to Taehyung, and I know that is unfair on him. I've given him time and I think now is when we sort this out once and for all. Either I gain my best friend back, or I lose an ally.

 

It probably would be easier to grab a taxi or something, but I can't bring myself to slow down for one second, I'm terrified. My mind courses over different scenarios, his broken words filling my head, what did he mean? Then it leads me to him calling my name, not even my nickname, my actual name. The thought clenches my heart; he was supposed to forget everything, forget about me but yet here he is calling out, Jeongguk. God, I'm shaking.

 

Everything over the past few months has been so much, just an overwhelming amount of pain and torture and yet here I am, running, sprinting to someone I thought I had lost almost a year ago, someone who was so fucking dear to me. Someone I love. I don't care to hide it anymore, to deny it, I can't. I love him. It scares me but I think that is the only thing in this life that I am sure of, I love Kim Taehyung.

 

The moment I crash into Hannam I feel like my lungs are about to be heaved into my throat; I gasp, sweat trickling off my skin as I stumble dizzily over to Taehyung's apartment building after much protesting to the guards. All the lights are off, please, please be there Taehyung. My mind is too pre-occupied on getting to Taehyung to realise what is happening around me, I just dart into the apartments and straight up the stairs, no time for lifts. 

 

3012, please. Please, be there. I want you to be okay, please, just be there. I try to mentally prepare myself for the worst, to think of any scenario which could lead to me being heartbroken, I just want him to be safe. The phone call has really fucked up my brain; it never crosses my mind that maybe-. I barge the door open, not paying attention to how it wasn't locked and begin frantically eyeing the apartment.

 

No Yeontan? 

 

"Taehyung!" I yell not caring to take my shoes off, I undo my backpack as I make my way into the darkness of the luxurious rooms, it's too quiet. I grab my new knife, a gun would be a bad idea, a knife is easier to use in situations like this. "Taehyung!" I yell again, I don't like it. Too quiet

 

I don't know why I falter outside his room, the door shut and my hand is hovering over the handle, open it. Fucking open it. I just stare at it, my fingertips touching the cold metal, why are you faltering? The darkness begins making shapes with how intensely I am staring, shapes masking the silence that is crumbling around me, cotton wool. 

 

With a massive inhale I push the handle, and the door silently opens, please. Please be there.

 

I stand in the doorway; the room looks so immaculate, untouched. Taehyung? I can feel my nerves getting the better of me, thoughts of me finding out that he vanished last time suffocating my heart, 'he's gone Jeongguk, we've lost him'. I couldn't stop the tears that fell then, and I am moments away from that happening again. The darkness makes it hard to see; I can't tell if he's there, please, I just want him safe.

 

With a trembling hand, I reach for the light switch, please.

 

Taehyung, please. 

 

I turn it on and the white light burns, I squint, afraid to look at the bed in case he isn't there. What if he isn't? What do I do then? What if he is there and he's-. "Justin?" I open my eyes wide, the groggy voice of Taehyung makes me breathe out heavily, my knees crumbling as I fall to the ground unable to look at him properly. I feel faint from the lack of oxygen I've restricted myself from, Taehyung allowed me to breathe again. I'm in too deep. "Justin? What are you doing here?" He asks, sitting up properly and twisting his body, so his soft legs dangle off the side. I don't look at him; I'm scared that it's all just a hallucination. He's not supposed to be here. The call? "Did you run here? Oh my god, Justin, are you okay?"

 

I can only give him a feeble thumbs up as I try to catch my breath, he seems utterly confused and so am I, what the fuck was that phone call. "Justin, you're scaring me; why are you here?" It's then that I lift my eyes towards him, his eyes are wide and puffy from sleep, mouth pouting and skin so smooth. His hairs a mess as per usual, I search his face for any sign of what I thought I'd find, was he really just asleep? What the fuck? "Why are you here? Jimin literally just left." Jimin wasn't lying? What the fuck? I'm so fucking confused. 

 

"You called me? Do you not remember?" Taehyung furrows his thick eyebrows hard, shaking his head slowly, I'm fucking confused. "You just called me; you sounded like you were in trouble." 

 

"I've been asleep Justin, I'm tired, I've had a long day," his eyes trace over me before widening, I watch him as he shifts slightly, his posture changing and now I'm even more fucking perplexed. "Justin," he whispers, I don't move, "wh-why have you got a knife?" My eyes shoot down to my hand, oh fuck. I'm quick to put it away, fucking idiot, how the fuck do you explain that? Taehyung looks terrified, "don't kill me!" He whimpers as I stand up and walk closer to him, he begins to cry, and I know I've fucked up.

 

"No! No, Taehyung! Hey listen to me, I'm not going to kill you! I was scared, I thought someone was here hurting you, so I brought something to defend us," I stand by his bedside, his eyes slammed shut as he pulls his covers to shelter him, my heart breaks. "Tae, please, I'm not going to hurt you, you're the last person in the world I'd want to hurt," I speak gently, cautiously lifting my hand to push his hair away from his eyes, he freezes at the touch for a moment before innocently peeping his eyes up at me. I just smile softly, trying my hardest to express my admiration for him, it's true, I could never hurt him. Ever.

 

"I'm so confused Justin."

 

"I don't understand it either; you just called me."

 

"No, not that." I furrow my brows, he quickly tugs my body down onto his sheets facing me with this stern looking face as he crosses his legs, he looks behind me a second before twisting my body to face him directly, I pay no notice. I try not to look at his open silk pyjamas showing off his tanned collarbones that I used to love marking. Not the time Jeongguk. "Justin, I remember something, and it scares me, you know the figure in my dreams?" I slowly nod, oh god. "He has a name, I was right he's Gguk. Jeongguk actually, he told me." What? Taehyung smiles widely, my heart is suffocating against my ribs; it hurts to breathe. "The dream wasn't scary, it was just us, lying here, I was tracing circles on his chest, and I felt so warm? I asked him what he was called and he replied with Jeongguk, I went to look at him and then I woke up, well Kwan woke me up. He's my person Justin, I need to find Jeongguk," I can't look at him, my eyes trained on the sheets, I feel sick. 

 

"Taehyung-"

 

"No, no listen to me. I know it sounds insane, but I just know it, Justin! I feel so lost, and he's the only thing that's keeping me from actually feeling mental, I know Kwan isn't who I really love, but I'm scared. So fucking scared Justin, I can't escape him, and Jimin said I should just let it be-"

 

"Wait, Jimin said that?" I interrupt, my face blatantly shows disgust, and Taehyung cautiously nods, "Jimin actually said that? That you should stay with Kwan?" Taehyung nods again, eyes flickering to the empty space behind me, I can feel my blood boiling, who the fuck does he think he is? "Taehyung don't listen to that, listen to your heart and if you don't think what you have with Kwan is something you want forever then don't stick around because someone told you to. I'll help you."

 

"I'm so scared Justin, I can't just leave. I'm tied to him, I have to do everything he says, or he hurts-" he quickly snaps his hands over his mouth when he realises he's said too much, his eyes going wide as he watches my face for some reaction, I don't give him one. Instead, I shuffle closer, opening my arms for him to lean into, he quickly complies, and soon my head is buried in his hair. His body moulds into mine like a jigsaw piece and I know that's fucking corny as shit, but I feel it, I hope he does too.

 

"It's strange; you remind me of Jeongguk in my dreams, I know that's me being delusional and probably my mind just trying to familiarise a face with something I don't understand, you know that right? About everyone in your dreams being someone you've met? I guess because I don't remember him it probably just uses you because I feel comfortable around you?"

 

Can you hear that? The sound of my fucking heart shattering, scattering like dust for him to easily blow away like nothing. "Probably," I mumble into his hair, I try to hold back the tears, my throat becoming excruciating tight as I try not to cry, it's so fucking painful. 

 

"I just don't get it, Justin," he huffs sitting up straight again, he looks solemn, his eyes looked pained, and I try my absolute fucking hardest to look coy, I don't want him to notice how painful this is. "Where is he? There's so much I don't know or understand, and I just want to find him, what if he isn't even real? What if it's just my head playing tricks on me? I don't know a Jeongguk! Never have or at least I don't think I have, I don't know because I don't fucking remember!" He chokes up, eyes going glassy and I'm quick to pull him back in, his face burrowing into my neck as I hold him impossibly close, feel that Taehyung? Do you feel that? My heart beating just for you? How my mind goes crazy over you? My world crumbling because I can't tell you? Do you feel that? Please, give me a sign. I need something.

 

Anything.

 

"I wish it were you," he whispers, and I freeze, my body going stiff as I feel his breath scatter across my skin like the finest syrup. Did he just say that? Did he honestly just say that? "Justin?" He asks nervously, his head lifting away from my neck to look at my face, my mouth must be open because he's looking at my lips with a small smile, fuck I'm nervous. "Did I break you?" He asks poking me in the stomach, and a flurry of nostalgia washes over me, he always used to say that. I sniffle slightly, my eyes looking away as I try with all the might in the world to not cry, please, don't fucking do this to me. "Justin? Are you okay? Oh my god, don't cry!" He softly speaks, his warm hands cupping my chin as he tries to get me to look at him but I can't, I physically can't look at him.

 

"I wish things were different Tae, I wish you could know the real me," Taehyung tilts his head, eyes boring into mine as he questions my statement, I don't say anything else, I can't. Before I know it I can feel the radiating heat of Taehyung's silk lips against my cheek, it's simple and short, but just that seems to glue my broken pieces back together if only temporary. "Life's tough, huh?" I laugh humorlessly, my eyes meeting his with an intensity that I've never seen before, desperation mixed with sorrow, his brown pools of heaven en capturing my heart in a fatal embrace. He's so beautiful. He's everything, and yet I am nothing. We can't exist together.

 

I watch as Taehyung's eyes flicker down to my lips, his long beautiful eyelashes slowly fluttering as he just stares, my mouth going painstakingly dry. "It is, but you seem to make it easier, does that scare you if I say that?" His eyes switch back to my eyes; I've only just realised my hands are placed on his tiny waist, his chest gently touching mine, we are dangerously close, too close. I just shake my head, "good, you do things to me, Justin, I've tried to deny it for the sake of Kwan, but it's... hard," what does he mean?

 

"Please don't bring my hopes up Taehyung," I breathe out and he licks his lips, his eyes glinting with this... guilt? At my words, he shakes his head; his grey waved hair shimmers in the yellow lights of the room, he's glowing. Sometimes I truly believe that he is the most ethereal person, impossibly perfect but yet still so human, filled with flaws but yet immaculate. I guess that's what love does to you?

 

"Justin," he whispers, I feel his nose brush against mine as he presses his forehead against my own, my breath hitching as I lick my lips, please, don't mess with my heart. "It feels like I've known you my whole life; why do I feel that?" I shrug, "you wouldn't lie to me, would you? If you knew something, you wouldn't lie?" His sweet breath intoxicates me, at this moment I would agree with anything he says, I need him, I want him, please just let him be mine.

 

"I'm trapped, Justin, it's either be with Kwan or I die, do you understand that? I know you know more than you're telling me. Tell me the truth, please, I deserve to know." His eyes are trained on my lips, kiss him. No, kiss me. Kiss me Taehyung, please, I'm begging you, give me something, anything, show me I'm not alone. Fix me. Please.

 

"Tae," I whisper back just as softly, I go to finish my sentence, but suddenly his lips are against mine, so sweet, it's everything. This is real, this is happening. He's here, with me. I squeeze my eyes shut tight, not realising a single tear as fallen down my cheek before I feel the pad of his thumb push it away. I want more, I want to tell him everything. He's here. He kissed me.

 

Taehyung breaks away, and I can't wipe away my smile, my heart feels full, so swollen that I'm afraid it will burst. Taehyung doesn't seem to share my emotions though, my smile faltering as he just blinks at me, his gaze hard and I suddenly don't understand. I thought he wanted it too? Why does he look like I betrayed him? "Taehyung?" I panic, his breathing turning harder as his eyebrows furrow in guilt, what the fuck? Suddenly he's pushing my chest away hard, I just blink, what the hell? "Ow, Taehyung?"

 

"I'm sorry Justin," he whispers, I don't have time to think about his words before something is being tugged over my head, I scramble to get free, but the bag hinders that. I become frantic as strong arms clamber around my body, pulling me away. I can hear Taehyung sniffling, what the fuck is happening. "I'm so sorry," he gasps, my heart pounding so fast as all my senses are heightened, this is it. I was trapped. Betrayed. Taehyung used me. 

 

I'm suddenly shoved onto the hard floor, someone's foot treading harshly on my back keeping me in place as I groan at the added pressure. The bondages are snared onto my limbs tightly, I don't say anything, I just allow the noises of Taehyung crying to flood my ears. I don't know what hurts more, he trapped me, used my emotions against me and for what? Was everything back there a lie? Does he not care about me? I guess not, I mean who honestly cares about me? I'm just a pathetic boy that's continuously taken advantage of by the people I thought I knew and loved. I guess everything is a lie.

 

"Please don't hurt him!" Taehyung sobs, I feel like rolling my eyes, why the fuck does he care all of a sudden? It isn't like he called me on purpose just so I could be captured like some animal. I hear shuffling, my body still pressed into the cold floor, why the fuck did I put my knife away? Fucking idiot. 

 

"Too late for that Taehyung," an unfamiliar voice speaks, that isn't Kwan. Who the fuck is that?

 

"Just please, don't hurt him, that wasn't part of the plan!" The sound of his sobs growing louder are the last thing to suffocate my ears before a sharp knock to the back of my head sends me tumbling into oblivion. My final thought being the betrayal of the one person I thought would always have my back, I guess I'm alone truly.

 

 

 


 

 

 

I'm bored. Bored as per usual when all my hyungs are out on missions, I'm just laying here on the couch waiting for something interesting to arise, but nothing is coming. I toss and turn trying to find anything in the room to pique my interest, nothing. I sigh heavily, I wish one of them were here, it's been like four hours, and I am so fucking bored. It's tedious. Boss said I could have the day off and I really fucking wish I had gone with hyung because anything would beat this.

 

Another fifteen minutes roll by horrendously slow, and I give up, with a heavy breath I get up from the couch and absent mindlessly begin wandering. I find my feet taking me down the halls just trying to find anything to entertain my poor soul. Taehyung said he wouldn't be back for another couple hours, and I'm not allowed to go back to the apartment until quarter past six. I don't know why, Yoongi hyung made a rule that when I'm out in the nest, I can't go home, probably to avert me from playing video games all day. That looks pretty fucking tempting right now, besides no one is here to stop me from going home.

 

That is until I find myself strolling down the corridor towards the rooms some of the pornos are filmed, the smirk crosses my face as I begin remembering the amounts of time I would spend here when I first joined until Taehyung took up all my attention. "Kid what are you doing down here?" I turn to see Junseo, I smile widely, but he just crosses his arm, it should be weird that I've seen him pound into girls but for some reason, it doesn't faze me, he's funny. "Does Yoongi hyung know you're here?" I just nod, lying but he doesn't seem to question it. "Do you want to come to sit in here? " He opens a room door, and I am quick to slide in the room, he laughs shoving the back of my head playfully as I make myself comfortable on the little love seat in the corner of the room.

 

I eye up the setting, it's just your classic bed with red silk sheets and enormous cameras, Junseo begins lotioning his hands, and I don't question it. I'm too focused on the different toys, he snorts when he notices where my gaze is looking. "Kid you're too fucking curious for your own good," I just raise my brow, leaning back with my own smirk. He's in a suit, guessing it isn't just a straight into it filming today, probably got some shitty story to tell. "Are you really that bored that you've come to watch me film? Seriously what will Taehyung think!" 

 

"He'll probably be impressed I've used my time so wisely," Junseo snorts, checking himself in the mirror before stepping out the room again. I'm quick to jump up and inspect the toys; I've never really seen them in person before, they look strange. My hand quickly traces over something circular and small; I don't know what that is. A weird feeling settling in the stomach as Junseo comes back into the room with his hair slicked back, a briefcase in hand and now a black blazer adorning his muscular build. I snort once more, he tells me to fuck off and sit back down, so I do, I'm not here to fight. "So what's it today then? A businessman coming home to a horny wife?" Junseo smiles, his eyes trained on the bed, he's one of our most sought after 'actors', his videos get so many fucking hits that it's almost impossible to find a video without him in it. 

 

"You'll have to wait and see kid, just try not to pop a boner okay?"

 

"Right you are Captain!" I joke, saluting him before a load of different people are coming in to begin filming. Junseo eyes me in a stern attempt to make sure I stay absolutely fucking silent; I just press my index against my lips, he won't hear a peep from me. I'm surprised the girl hasn't arrived yet; I wonder what she'll be wearing if anything at all. God, I haven't had some action in some time, and you know what hormonal boys are like, my hands become my best friend, but it just isn't the same. I haven't even really had time for that because I'm always with Taehyung or Yoongi, so I treasure my time alone in the bathroom or late at night, but it's a bit depressing really. 

 

I focus my attention on the low mumbling of the directors getting ready to film, I find it fucking hilarious how they act like this is some five stars, thirty million pound budget movie when in reality it's probably only going to be watched by horny old men that don't get enough action from their wives. But then again, Junseo is pretty fucking amazing, like George Clooney level shit, that's a weird comparison, but I'll digress. 

 

It isn't until another man is bounding into the room that I realise this isn't the usual shit I sit in on, this is a gay porno. I don't know how to feel about it and as I get up to leave Junseo places a firm hand on my chest and tuts. "Nope, you're staying kid," I whine, I don't want to see this, the gayest I've gone with porn is watching lesbians, but that's normal right? I'm not gay; I don't like men. "Come on, learn something new, you never know you might need it in the future," he presses me back down onto the couch with a teasing smile. I just stick the finger up at him and sulkily sit there hoping it isn't too fucking graphic, so I won't be scarred for life. 

 

Junseo and the other man, I think I hear his name being Kang or something begin talking lowly, laughing and just seeming so at peace. How the fuck are they totally okay with being in this situation? But my mind soon flickers to who will take it, I've always thought of sex being something masculine, a sense of dominating the women below you, I know how fucking misogynistic and sexist that is, but it's what I've been brought up to know. My Father, although a 'lovely' man, he was very set on male standards and values, what they should do in life and act like. I was raised to be a dominator, to rule over the lower and women, for them to only bare my children and cook while I earn the income. That's what I thought with my girlfriend Jennie; Father wanted me to find a girl soon, marry her when we come of age and have children before I serve my time in the military. He set my whole life out on the basis that I was a man and a man I should be. I remember one time when I no more than seven, we were in a toy store, and I asked if I could play with the dolls, I remember being smacked and told that those are for girls, that if I wanted to be loved by him I would play with the boy toys, guns and cars. I guess looking at it now I did grow into the man he wanted me to be, I'm in a gang, and I have power but yet I feel different? I can't put the finger on it. 

 

It isn't until they begin recording that my eyes are attached to the movements of the two men, it seems to natural, there's a hardness to it as Junseo pushes the other down onto the bed, his hands trailing the length of the other's torso. It's fascinating, not, in the same way, I thought it would be, I've never seen anything like this. I would be lying if I said when I was eleven I didn't test out a gay porno, but I stopped it before they even started because I felt like my masculinity was shattering, I didn't like it, and since then I've been certain I am straight. 

 

Junseo is instantly tearing his shirt off; they aren't acting like I thought they would, it almost seems private, like I shouldn't be watching, like this isn't just fucking, this is something more. It's so unlike the girls I've seen him with, those are fucking arousing as fuck, their moans and flesh everywhere but this, this is erotic? Something about muscle on muscle, strong physiques being so close, bulging crotches touching with the slightest friction sending them both into hysteria. Fuck. I tap my foot trying to ignore the growing warmth of my own crotch; it's just my hormones, anyone would get like this watching it, it doesn't mean anything. 

 

It isn't until they are both stark and sweat is dripping onto one another, the noises of their lips merging in a frenzy and nails clawing that I realise I'm imagining it as me, I'm there, in Junseo's body as he holds himself perfectly between the other's legs. Fuck. In an instant Junseo is flipping the other male, my eyes going wide but I can't seem to look away, I watch with intrigue, I never really thought about how men take it in the ass, I mean is that even pleasurable? Taehyung told me about the prostate, shocked me, to be honest, but apart from that, I've never taken into account how men would have sex. Not really, maybe that's me being ignorant and trying to forget about two men having intimacy like that, I'm straight, I wouldn't need to think about it. 

 

I watch as Junseo lubes his fingers up, my head tilting slightly in confusion before he's pushing one finger into the other. Holy shit. Fuck. The sound of pleasure rockets to my crotch, I quickly cross my legs trying to hide it, this is the quickest I've ever gotten hard, not even the women Junseo uses has affected me like this so quickly. That doesn't mean anything, it's been a long time. Yeah, that's what it is. One finger, two, three. The man is clawing at the sheets, spitting dirty words at Junseo who's egging him on, telling him everything he wants to hear. Fuck. 

 

My mind goes hazy the moment Junseo pushes himself inside, I'm no longer watching, I can't. I'm too focused on my own problem, fuck. The worst part is that I still imagine that's me, I'm the one pushing inside, thrusting, holding his hips as I snap my own brutally hard making him mewl. I flicker my eyes up to the man underneath, his eyes shut, head back, clenching at the silk sheets, lips parted with such grace, Taehyung. Wait, what? I blink, rubbing my eyes, did I just see Taehyung? No, no. It's still him. I begin to feel uncomfortable, I need to chase my own release, and I swear if I don't do it soon I might honestly explode. 

 

With that, I awkwardly stand, fuck I'm so fucking hard how am I meant to hide that all the way home? I quickly decide to just fucking embrace it; no one will fucking care if a fifteen-year-old has a boner, it's practically an eleventh finger to teenage boys. Or maybe that's just me. I don't know; I don't really fucking care, all I care about is fucking jacking off and trying to stop thinking about someone I don't want to cross my mind. I'm straight, and that's wrong.

 

I'm straight. 

 

The moment I bounce through the apartment door I bolt to my bedroom, slamming the door and quickly unbuckling my belt. I've never been so determined to keep a boner going. Usually, I would give up and deal with the consequences later, but my mind is running wild. I just need to feel that, I don't want to think about it too much, I'm just thinking of it as a new experience, it's natural, I'm a growing boy, it's okay to explore.

 

It aches to the point where I think touching it would actually hurt, but I'm determined, I've grown sweaty, my rush to get home and just get lost in the feeling too intense to even try to ignore. This doesn't make me less of a man; it's not like I'm imagining me being with a boy, I'm just thinking about me being touched, me touching someone else, anyone else, Taehyung. Wait, no. Not Taehyung. A girl. Girl. Definitely a girl. 

 

I try to focus on the images of females, Eunah or Jennie, laying there just waiting, their plump bottom lip bitten between their teeth as they remain, waiting pliantly like I usually get off to, but something is different. It doesn't get me riled up, it's not enjoyable, so I try a different image. I think of someone's lips around me, my hand in her long hair as she takes me diligently, but it doesn't help. I get frustrated, twisting on my bed and trying to find another angle, eyes squeezed shut, lips parted as I stroke myself at a fast pace, but nothing is working. It doesn't feel the same. 

 

I'm a mess, I just want to find my release, I need it, and nothing is working. I'm trying so hard to focus on girls; I will not allow my mind to travel there, especially not to him. That's wrong. I'm straight. I'm fucking straight and a man, I can't like boys. I can't get hard over boys, it's wrong. I'm not gay. I'm straight, and I love girls, I like being with girls.

 

So why does my mind keep flicking to images of me on top of muscle, a strong chest and rough hands? 

 

I moan out at the images of rough fingers against my length, twisting and fondling so confidently, none of this insecurity Jennie used to give me because she didn't know how to do it properly. I go quiet, allowing myself to get lost in my hand movements, it's so different, an entirely different sense of arousal but for some reason, I'm finding myself getting completely lost in it, I like it. I try not to think about it too hard, the fact that a boy seems to be the only thing right now that I want, I want to feel that, to have that under me, to have control over another male. 

 

I don't hear the apartment door opening. I don't hear the familiar humming of Taehyung as he treads around the kitchen. It isn't until I mewl, throwing my head back at the pleasure when I start mumbling incoherently that I realise Taehyung is now stood in my doorway, his eyes trained on me.

 

" Ah Taehyung," I moan, eyes shut tight, "so good," I'm too far gone. I need to reach my release. 

 

"Jeongguk," a small whisper comes from my doorway, and I open my eyes, it takes me a moment to process, sweat sticking my hair to my face, eyes drowsy and breath heavy that I see Taehyung. His eyes are tracing over my body, eating me and I just can't help myself. I just pant, gazing at him with such longing; I continue to move my fingers up and down my length, I'm not ashamed. I want him.

 

"Help me?" I ask softly; I'm too gone, I don't care anymore. He looks too good; his eyes watch my hand; he seems a little uncertain. "Taehyung help me; I need you." 

 

"Jeonggu-"

 

"No please, help me. I really fucking want you." Taehyung doesn't move, his brown eyes still staring, I'm getting impatient, but I won't push it, I'm not that type of person.

 

"Are you sure?" He asks quietly, almost shyly which isn't something I see in him a lot, it's endearing really, and I can't stop the smile, I nod enthusiastically, and soon he's softly padding over to where I am sat.

 

"What happened to get you so worked up?" He asks teasingly, his shyness vanishing with the glint of playfulness, his hand smoothly grazing over my jaw and onto my neck, I bend at the touch, magnetic. I don't reply; instead, I grab his tiny waist, his body complying as I push him down onto the sheets, our eyes never faltering. I really want him.

 

"Let me touch you?" I don't mean for it to sound so innocent, I was trying to act tough and know what I want, but this is so fucking new, and I'm scared. Taehyung seems to like that and is quickly cupping my face, his thumbs rubbing against my cheeks slightly, our mouths so close, closer than ever before and I just want him, it's not lust, it's something stronger that's pulling me towards him, but I don't want to think about it, it's too much to think of.

 

"Kiss me first," he whispers, his lips just ghosting mine and it's enough for me to want to smash mine against his in a frenzy, so fucking intoxicating. I allow myself to get lost in it, a maze of body parts that are yet to be discovered, his lips, a new found discovery of pure and utter bliss, silk and the most delicate gold, regal and the way he kisses me makes me want to never pull away. I want to stay like this forever, lost in the sweet taste of Taehyung, his tongue battling with mine in a passionate protest, I suddenly hold no care in the world if he is a man, he's a human and I want him.

 

I feel his hands trickle down my body, sensually scoping out every inch of skin, his hands so smooth that I feel like I'm being draped in satin. Everything about him screams velvet, the most exquisite fabrics creating a beautiful human filled with compassion and empathy,  a human that I want.

 

I've denied it for so long, from the moment I met him until now, and here in this moment, I find myself falling into a rabbit hole, falling, falling, falling. I'll keep falling until I reach his heart, a heart I know that is locked away, the key is thrown into a chest at the bottom of the ocean, but I'm willing. I'm eager to fight, to drown myself just to free him, to be able to hold him as my own because I know what I want. I want Taehyung.

 

"Is this okay?" I ask breaking away quickly; I feel like my breath has been taken away looking at him, still fully clothed as I look down at his now insanely swollen lips, so kissable, I want to have them forever. Is that selfish of me? I don't know. He's nodding his head, a smile plastered on his face and before I know it he's pulling his clothes off as well. My breath hitching once more as I look at the full body of immaculate golden skin, he could win in a battle against the Greek Gods, he in my eyes the epitome of wonder, euphoria in a bottle, floating in a canopy of stars, handpicked to torture my soul.

 

"You're so beautiful," I whisper, leaning in to kiss him so gently, he's bashful, turning his head away slightly as I smirk. I like this Taehyung; I like all the Taehyung's that make up this beautiful human, there isn't a single doubt in my mind right now, Taehyung is my one. 

 

I'm not straight. Or at least not entirely, but who is?

 

"You can touch me," he speaks carefully, I don't need to be told twice, my hands instantly tracing over his plush skin, honey. The finest syrup, drunk on the flavour of him, I don't want this moment to end. He wraps his arms around my neck, pulling himself onto my lap. I almost forgot about my throbbing member, too preoccupied on the beautiful boy, that is until Taehyung brushes his thigh against it as he sits down that I realise how fucking painful it has become. I really need to hurry; otherwise, my wood is going to be fucking torture. Taehyung giggles, my face must show my torment, "having trouble?" He teases, and I can only reply by attacking his face in kisses, his arms tightening around my neck as I begin marking at his own, so fucking beautiful.

 

It's all a bit of a blur, a heated mess of limbs and friction, me trying to find relief as Taehyung gets more and more riled up. I haven't thought about where this is going really; I choose not to dwell on my inexperience when it comes to this, deciding that maybe just him being here, on my lap will be enough? I soon realise that perhaps that assumption is incorrect, the moment I look down and see Taehyung's length, him shuffling closer to my chest and our members touching sinfully, my eyes go wide. Fuck. I need him.

 

"Gguk," he pants against my lips, I hum, opening my eyes to see him, so beautiful. "Do you want to do this?" I think about it, do I want to do this? Do I want him here with me? Yes. Do I want him here against me? Yes. Do I want his lips against mine? Yes. Do I want to have sex with him? Absolutely. I don't reply. Instead, I flip him, his fluffy hair shimmering against his forehead messily, his eyes hold a thousand galaxies, the sun and the moon, everything the world treasures, every secret and every sin. Taehyung to me right now is the embodiment of the universe, my universe and I want to get lost in it, sink into the black hole, find the glimmering nebulae, a shower of meteors, the meaning of life. Taehyung can show me everything. I want him to. I want him.

 

"Only if you do," is what I reply, we allow ourselves to slow down a moment, my eyes gracing over his skin. There's something about it, something more fixating about the muscle, about the toned but still so fucking softness of his tummy that drives me wild; I've never looked at a man and thought I'd want to stay by him forever, I've never thought of it. But here, my body merging with his, I feel it, I feel something I was holding back from, a possibility for more than sex. Taehyung flutters his eyelashes, blinking slowly and never turning away, his hands slowly caressing my sides and if he continues like that I might just end up in love.

 

"Do you want to, be you know?" I ask awkwardly, my mind suddenly switching to the pragmatics of the situation, however nice this is I don't think I'm prepared for having a penis inside me, I mean his is pretty - I can't believe I just said that about a dick - but the thought of that being in me makes me feel a little ill. Taehyung giggles lightheartedly, his hands making their way back up to my muscular chest as he shuffles slightly under me, a rose would be how I describe him. A beautiful summer rose, delicate but still threatening.

 

"Do I want to be what, Jeongguk?" He's teasing me now, trying to get me to say it, he can't hide the grin, and I just thrust myself against his groin a little, eliciting a moan and then it's my turn to smirk. That shut him up.

 

"Is it okay if I am the one, you know? Doing it?" I don't expect him to coo but to be honest, it makes perfect sense, that's Taehyung. I let out a puff of annoyance, he's ruining the moment with him pinching my cheeks, but he still looks so beautiful, and I decide to shut up him again by pulling him into a kiss filled with fervour and determination. I want to do this with him; I want to do it only with him. My person. 

 

"You want to top?" He asks pulling away, a strand of saliva holding us together before I wipe it away. I just softly nod, not wanting to say the wrong thing and mess this up when we've come so far, but I'm getting needy, I can't stop thinking about my member, it's so hard, and I just need relief, Taehyung can be that relief. "Okay," he pushes himself up slightly, so he's sitting, I watch as he untangles himself from me and leaves the room, did I do something wrong?

 

He's returning seconds later with lube and a condom, "you could have just used mine, I have some," I state pointing to my drawer, he just smiles, shaking his head. Now he's standing I can see everything, I didn't fail to notice how perky and well sculpted his ass is, even better out of clothes. His member is staring me in the face, but I don't feel daunted, if anything I kind of like it, something about him being hard for me fills me with a sense of pride, I got another male hard.

 

"Stop staring," Taehyung lightly giggles and I try to act like I wasn't just gawping, he's quick to jump back onto me, his member grazing against mine again and we both moan out, too much. "Here," Taehyung pants, handing me the condom but I don't move my hands to take it, he rolls his eyes. "I know this is new to you Gguk and that's okay, I'll help okay?" I just nod, feeling a little embarrassed, I always pride myself on my experience with women, but I'm out of my depths here.

 

I watch as Taehyung fills the condom with lube, it confuses me, "trust me, it'll feel good," he hums against my lips and who am I to deny anything he says? I quickly realise that we haven't stretched him, my mind going into a frenzy, it looked like it hurt when Junseo was doing it to the other guy, I don't want to hurt him. Taehyung seems to notice my panic, "hey, what's wrong? Is this too much? We can stop." 

 

"No, no. It's all good; it's just um, we haven't, you know?" I make a motion with my fingers to look like scissoring and Taehyung bursts into giggles, his head burrowing into my neck but all I can think about is how his member is rubbing against mine as he jolts with laughter. I honestly could release just with that, but I'm determined.

 

"Do you want to? You can just watch me, I know this is new," a sense of relief washes over me, I nod, and he's quick to lie back against the pillows, I pout slightly, I miss is strong thighs sat against mine so perfectly, but the view I am getting now is fucking glorious. Taehyung begins lubing up his fingers, I try not to stare too much, but this is magical, I thought I had seen everything a man has but nothing compares to this. 

 

The moment he parts his legs, telling me to sit in the middle of the bed to watch I feel myself losing it, my heart pounding frantically as Taehyung's head falls back as he pushes a finger in. It's a funny thing to watch, the ass, other than to look at and grope it hasn't been a place I've wondered about, but now, all I can think about is how just that, just one finger seems to be sending him into a Utopic bliss. I lean down, my eyes watching his movements as he pushes the second finger in, a breathy moan coming from his plump lips and fuck. I find myself trying to find some sort of friction on the bed sheets, shamelessly grinding myself against them as I wait.

 

Taehyung adds a third and god, those noises. His mouth gaping and fuck, he's so beautiful. I move forward, closer to the warmth of his golden skin, his aura protruding through in magnetic rays onto my skin. I kiss up his legs, him giggling slightly at the soft touch, I reach over him and kiss his lips, down to the jaw, to the sweet spot on his neck and he groans. I trail to his collarbones, so prominent and gorgeous, to his chest, feeling his heart pounding against my lips, to each nipple, down to his navel and I stop. I stop at his member, his eyes never leaving my face, I don't know what I am doing but I know I want to please him. I don't think I'm ready to blow him, so instead, I wrap my hand around his length. "Ah, Jeongguk!" He whines out, obviously not expecting it.

 

I grow confident, his moans egging me on, I copy what Junseo was saying, dirty words flying out my mouth which Taehyung takes unfazed. He's still stretching himself; I grow interested in what it feels like, "can I?" I ask grabbing the lube and working it onto my fingers, Taehyung just nods, his eyes strewn shut, and I let go of his length, shuffling down to get a good view of something I never thought I would find pretty. Everything about him is just beautiful, every inch and every corner of his body, pretty. 

 

"I won't hurt you right?" I ask anxiously gnawing at my bottom lip as I watch his fingers, I build up the courage to rim around the outside, he's quick to tell me I won't, that he enjoys it and with that, I push a finger in. It's strange, a feeling I've never felt, obviously he's less tense than he would have been when he began, but still, the feeling of muscles swarming around my finger is, satisfying? What is satisfying is Taehyung's mewling, his writhing around and cock leaking, so fucking beautiful.

 

I grow cocky, deciding to push another in and he moans out slowly, "Jeongguk!" He yelps, shit, I didn't think, I graze my fingers along his walls, he's taking five right now, and I think that should be more than plenty to take me, I'm not even fully developed yet and not to blow my own trumpet or anything, but I do get praised. Just saying. "Okay, okay, I'm done," he pants, and I slowly remove myself from him, he's breathing heavily, sweat glistening in the eve of the night and fuck, so pretty.

 

He sits up, his mind going over to my body. I couldn't tell you how long I've been hard for, not a single second has it faltered, sometimes I'm not even able to keep a boner for the entire time I'm having sex with Jennie, Dad told me that's normal but this, this isn't fucking normal. It must be coming up to an hour now, and the only relief I've gotten is dry humping my sheets, that's a pretty low moment. Taehyung slaps me out of my bubble the moment I feel something wet slide over my length, I let out a series of pants at the feeling, a lubed up condom, fuck that feels good, messy but so fucking good. I notice the condom is ribbed; I smirk slightly as I look at him, "what? It feels more natural!" I don't question it. 

 

My eyes float over his body; there hasn't been a single second since he's been in my presence where I haven't wanted to show him how much he is worth, it's weird, I've never felt that. To fulfil his need for pleasure more than mine, so that's why I take it slow. Even though I'm dying here I want Taehyung to know that this isn't just me trying to fuck something for the sake of fucking, I thought maybe it was, but I can't bring myself to think that's the real intentions.

 

" You really are beautiful," I mumble against his neck, the pads of his fingers ghosting against my back as I pull him into my chest, our breathing merging together and there's this unknown force, this strange sensation that makes me want to care for him. This isn't just sex. Not for me anyway. It's gone too far for that, it's new and fucking terrifying, but I don't feel so afraid when I look into his eyes.

 

"I'm ready," he whispers, I nod, "do you want me on my front or-" I don't let him finish, wildly shaking my head as if he said something I never want to hear.

 

"Front, I want to see your face," he smiles, cupping my face and pulling me into a long kiss, his lips are honestly too good to be true, everything about him makes my heart topple into the sky. "You have such a pretty face Tae, don't hide that from me," he's blushing, his neck increasing in pink, and I giggle as he hides his face behind his hands. "No! Don't hide!" I yank his hands away, he laughs softly along with me, his eyes watching my lips before I pull him back in again. It's too soft, too natural that I'm scared. I'll think of the consequences later.

 

"Are you okay? You don't have to go slowly for me Gguk, if you need to, do it, I'm ready," why is he so understanding? I nod, trying to build up the courage as we shuffle on the sheets trying to find a better angle. I blink a couple of times trying to work out exactly what to do; I don't want to hurt him. I know that is a possibility right now, especially because I am so amped up but I want to show him the amount of adoration I hold for him, he's making me a better person, and I want to thank him. I don't want this to ruin us.

 

"Gukkie, you won't hurt me; it's fine." 

 

"This won't change us will it hyung?" I ask, my voice coming out more terrified than I would have liked, Taehyung pouts slightly, his hands retracing my chest, I love this feeling. More than I should. I can feel myself falling too quickly; there's just something about him, I'd be a fool not to fall.

 

"No, I won't let it Gukkie, promise," I search his eyes, trying to find the security I need, I find it in his smile. "Now come on, before you explode!" He giggles shuffling again, and with a surge of confidence I yank his legs to link around my waist, his eyes never leave mine as I hold my breath, this is it. There's no turning back now, as soon as I do this we'll be connected in some way, a way that I never want to be broken. I hope he never breaks that promise.

 

"Okay, Imma do it!" I say trying to pump myself up, he just lays there watching me with a small pleased smile, his head sinking into the pillows and I have to tell myself to not look at him otherwise I won't ever push myself in and just continue to gawp at his beauty. I line myself up, sucking in a huge breath, do it, do it, just do it. 

 

His hands go into my hair, his breath hitching as the warmth of him surrounds my length, bliss. "Fuck," I whisper, this is new. The lube inside the condom makes this so fucking strange, but I like it, it doesn't feel as foreign as I thought it would, it isn't as tight as I was expecting either but that probably is because he had five fingers inside him just now. "Okay, is this okay? I'm not hurting you?" My eyes are blown wide as I look down at him, his eyes fluttering open as he plays with my hair tenderly, too relaxing for the scenario we are in right now.

 

"Perfect Gukkie," he hums, he moves his body creating friction, and I groan, this is so fucking good, and I haven't even started. "You can move," he whispers, his legs tightening around my waist and I nod, this isn't abnormal, quite the opposite, it feels more natural than when I'm with girls, that scares me. I'm supposed to be straight, I've been brought up to be straight so why does Taehyung have this effect on me? Whatever the reason I can't bring myself to care, I like him and his body, I want to shower him in love and affection, and that's what I am going to do.

 

I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a little awkward as soon as I start to thrust, I entwine my hands with his trying to focus more on his pleasure than the fact that I have my dick up his ass. I don't know why of all times in the past however fucking long we have been making out, now is when my brain decides to remind me that I'm a boy, and so is Taehyung. I am enjoying it, it's not bad if anything it's actually really fucking hot, but I can't stop the feelings that I'm doing something wrong.

 

That is until Taehyung starts panting, his pretty eyelashes dusting the skin under his eyes, lips parted and swollen, growing purple marks along his neck, breath hot and short, I'm lost. "Feels so good Gukkie," he mewls, fluttering his eyes open for just a second, the surge of confidence coming back instantaneously, I smile leaning down to kiss him again, too beautiful. 

 

"I adore you," those words slip out too easily, my movements slow and sensual, Taehyung's eyes focusing on mine as he blinks, I smile down at him, "can I say that?" I ask kissing his nose; those freckles are constellations, a milky way of wonder. 

 

"You just did," Taehyung replies, his voice smooth and low, his eyes closing again as I focus on my movements, "please just, keep going." I ignore his sudden want to only have my body; I should have known we weren't both in this the same way, I clear my throat, trying to suppress my emotions and think of only us being intimate sexually. It feels good, a new feeling of closeness to another human, another soul. A soul I can't have entirely.

 

I don't speak for a while, just allowing our bodies to merge, to become one and feel so uplifted and satisfied, everything about this is sending waves to my brain, I like this. I like Taehyung, more than I probably should. More than I should ever feel about another man, but I don't seem to mind it, just him being here has surpassed all expectations, all current thoughts that a woman will be my only partner, I don't want that anymore. I see myself in a world where loving another boy doesn't bring me shame, doesn't make me feel less masculine, Taehyung has done that. He's done that in a matter of minutes, switched my whole perspective on the world; I no longer feel repulsed at the idea of boys. Maybe I never was, perhaps I was just afraid to face those feelings?

 

We take it slow, there's nothing rough or demanding in our movements, just a gentle breeze on the ocean, rippling in waves of the softest colours, I'm never like this, I never take it slow, never allow myself to fully divulge myself in the feeling of another body, not this way anyway. Taehyung's body pressed against mine magnetically, his touch so smooth and tender, his fingers coursing through my black hair or down my spine, sending waves of technicolour over my heart, his so soft. 

 

With each thrust I feel myself losing it, I feel myself pushing into a cavern I don't want to tread, a place where I know I will not be welcomed, but I cannot help it, Taehyung is calling for me, a siren and I am the lost sailor trapped under his beauty. His breathing is raspy, finding his own release, sweat coated bodies, eyes meeting for moments of tenderness, kisses shared making promises, soft whispers of a loving found, he is beautiful.

 

It isn't until he begins writhing around, head is thrown back as I hit the bundle of nerves repeatedly do we start to lose a sense of sentimentality behind the movements of our bodies. Back to humming dirty words and teasing him, I tongue at his neck, pressing on his sweet spot while he moans out, hands desperately grabbing at my back, his muscles tightening and fuck. The rippling effect of him releasing between us is ecstatic, electrocuting me into action, I kiss him fervently again and again on his slicked lips. 

 

I hit, again and again, trying to find my own release, just the sight of his body, weakened and so content with how I am treating him brings me a sense of boldness to allow myself to entirely fall at the hands of another male. "Look at me," Taehyung gasps out, his hand cupping my chin as I look into those pearls of the most explicit emotions, he's showing me everything I need at this moment, a pride, a sense of security that this is us together now. We can't turn back from this, and I'm not sure I want to turn away, he's become so fucking quickly a haven. Not just his body, his heart and soul, I want them to beat with mine, I want us to be eachothers’. 

 

I let myself go, I free myself from the doubts, from the hatred and ignorance, it's just us, no one can change that. No one can change how I feel about him now; I wouldn't let them. I entwine our hands, palms clammy but I don't care, Taehyung smiles through the whines, him becoming over stimulated as I chase it, slowing down as to not damage him too much. He begins whispering in my ear, kissing my lobe, it's benevolent and warm, I close my eyes, lips parting as the familiar knot grows. "Do it," he hums with such sublime that I melt into his touch, I should be terrified with what I am feeling, but I can't bring myself to be scared, not while he's holding me like I am the most important human in the world to him.

 

I groan out, burrowing my face in his neck as my body tenses before I spill into the condom, paradise. Taehyung continues to hold me, trailing soft kisses across my shoulder blade, hand tucked into my hair twiddling with random strands. I can't bring myself to pull out; I don't think I want to, I've never felt this way after sex, never. I'm in trouble. 

 

"Gukkie," Taehyung whispers, I almost don't hear it over the chorus of harmonious bliss ringing in my ears, rhapsodies being sung the moment I feel his lips kiss my neck. I could fall asleep like this. "Gukkie," he whispers again this time with a little giggle as he tries to push my body off his chest slightly, I didn't think about me making squishing him. Reluctantly, I look up, his cheeks painted with a lovely hue of pink, lips glossed and eyes were adorning, beautiful. "Did you enjoy that Gukkie?" he asks dusting his finger across my face to remove some loose hair that's stuck to my cheek before his fingertip trails over my lips, I just blink softly, I don't think I'll ever get over this moment.

 

He just giggles, "Gukkie, you need to-," he motions his eyes to in between our bodies, I actually forgot I was still inside him and I awkwardly cough as I remove myself, I hate the feeling, I grew to love that. I don't look at him, deciding to sit on the edge of the bed, his head gently placed amidst my pillows as he watches me. I feel empty? I don't know; now I've come down from the high slightly I feel the riptide, the darkness of what we did, the feelings I can't seem to control. 

 

"Gukkie," he says, I feel a hand touch my arm, I don't turn, keeping my eyes fixated on the ground. He starts humming, his smooth tones vibrating against my ears like caramel, he's happy? 

 

"Have I ruined it?" I ask sheepishly, I still can't bring myself to look at him as I slouch into myself, I can see him giving me a questioning look, his humming discontinuing and I wish I hadn't ruined the moment because his voice was keeping my anxiety at bay. 

 

"Gukkie-"

 

"No, no. I've ruined it haven't I? I've fucked up our friendship Tae, I'm sorry, I never should hav-"

 

"Gukkie!" Taehyung snaps, lunging forward to place his palm over my mouth, his eyes soft compared to mine which are wide and filled with guilt, I gulp, our faces so close again, our noses dusting, his eyes connecting with mine with a determination. "Jeongguk you haven't ruined anything, I like you, you're a good friend to me, and I understand you're panicked because you believe you're straight-"

 

"I'm not straight," I butt in, his expression widening in shock at my words, his mouth opening and closing and I cough, taking my eyes away from his for just a second to process what I am about to say, I'm going to be honest with him. "I mean I do like girls, but I think I like boys too? I mean I like you, and you're a boy, so I guess I do, I don't know, and I'm scared of it-"

 

"You don't need to label your sexuality Gguk; it's all a made up concept anyway so people can be categorised into boxes, so you like boys? Who cares? Not me; I like you too!"

 

"So it's not going to be weird between us?"

 

"Why would it be? Here, come cuddle me before you go shower, you stink," he drags me down onto the bed, my head hitting the soft cushions before he's on top of me, his head burrowed in my neck, and we kiss. "I promise you Gguk, as long as I am around you don't need to be afraid, I'm here, and I'll always protect you, I'd never leave you."

 

"Promise?" I ask childishly, and he smiles, lifting his head and pecking my lips a couple of times until I'm grinning widely.

 

"Promise." 

 

With that I allow myself to embrace his warmth and comfort, I don't feel afraid, I know he would never betray me or our promise, he's here, as a friend or maybe more. I'm growing, and so is he, we are just two lost stars, but the moon is so bright when I have him by my side.

 

 

 


 

 

 

UNKNOWN - UNKNOWN // UNKNOWN // UNKNOWN

Something doesn't feel right, something hurts, something really fucking hurts. I think I'm awake, yeah, I'm blinking. What the fuck hurts that bad? I try to trace what part of my body is sending searing pains to my brain; I try to relax my shoulder, fuck. Fucking shit. I let out a sharp groan, that's broken? No. My fucking shoulder is dislocated. Fuck that right now. Fuck right off. The tears that prick my eyes come quickly, my brain becoming hyper-aware to the sensation in my left side from not being able to see. I try to move my legs; I'm tied to something. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

 

"Ah fuck," I groan, mouth terribly dry, racking a horrendous cough through my throat to only begin wincing at the sheer pain, it's indescribable, just burning, shooting pains and I can't breathe. Why the fuck has my shoulder popped out? 

 

I lie there? Sit? I don't know what's happening, I am frozen and unable to move, trying to calm myself, I can't focus on if I am crying or not. Soon the noise of laughter bursts through the silence and I freeze entirely, the footsteps growing nearer and nearer before the bag is pulled off my head. A hand putting pressure on my arm and I scream out, the laughter intensifying and the tears stinging my eyes. "Ah fuck! Please, stop!" I cry out, my eyes opening to see a man I've never seen before, his smile impossibly wide and I can't help the broken breath that elicits from my soul when I look at him terrified. 

 

He's disgusting, rough looking, buzz cut and rotten teeth. Eyes dark and deadly, thin lips continuously shaped like a grimace, something I would see in a horror movie, some fucking demon shit. He's skinny, probably takes heroin from the marks on his arms where the tattoos don't cover. His clothing is loose, a baggy white t-shirt that has stains on it, I don't want to know where those stains are from, but the way he's eyeing me makes it very clear that it's probably not tomato stains. He makes me uncomfortable, his smile never faltering and I don't know where to look. His hand pressed painfully close to my shoulder, pushing it, fucking kills, I feel dizzy.

 

"For a gang member you're not very brave are you?" His voice is deep, low with no emotion and my eyes widen, gang member? How? "Where did you get all those weapons from kid? Which gang you working for, huh?" Shit, my backpack. I don't reply, too focused on the agonising pain of my arm to even care about answering, I'm not telling him shit. My muscles spasm, the feeling of them tearing and stretching, tendons becoming impossibly strained, bone grinding and I can't stop the hot tears trickling down my face, this fucking kills.

 

"Does that hurt?" He asks grinning as he shoves my arm, the sound of grinding crackles through my ears before I'm screaming, full on bellowing to get away, trying with all my might to escape as he stands there with a joyful cackle, jumping like a small child at my pain.  

 

"Please! It fucking hurts!" I cry, the man cups my chin, his face uncomfortably close as he grimaces, I try to calm myself, zen, go into shock Jeongguk. Focus it out. Train your mind. Don't let them win. You cannot let them win. I block out the pain, focus on my breathing, and I relax instantly, I was trained for this, we all were. That is until I move my head slightly and see the bone in my shoulder protruding at a very unnatural angle, I instantly begin to feel nauseous. My stomach is churning, bile reaching my throat, scorching, and soon I've bolted forward retching on the floor and all over the man's shoes, spilling the contents of my empty stomach onto the hard concrete. A weak splutter parting from my lips as I choke on the feeling of vomit, a string of saliva dangling from my dry and cracked lips. Fuck. 

 

He lets out an angered snarl, tugging at my hair and taking in my features while he growls like a rabid animal, I feel faint, it hurts, and my brain is over-processing everything. My vision is going blurry as his hot breath stops me from wanting to breathe; I don't feel good. I'm struck, he slaps my cheek hard, sending my body to the side in a vicious jolt which goes straight to my shoulder, I don't cry out, I feel paralysed. The pain too intense that I've become desensitised, my brain blocking all feeling in a last attempt to salvage the little sanity I have before I go into shock entirely.

 

"Who the fuck do you work for!" He bellows in my face, I glance at him before shutting my eyes, fuck I really don't feel right.

 

"Leave it, Black Rat," a distant voice calls and my heart picks up, eyes flicking open at the familiar tone and footsteps. Fuck. Within seconds Black Rat is stepping away, his head bowed, and my breathing becomes most frantic, I don't want to be in this situation. Please. I close my eyes tight when I feel a hand slither across the back of my neck, a fire tracing my skin, curling and twisting the very hairs on my neck until they are seared away, the sensation tormenting as he makes his way to stand in front of me. Please. Stop. I don't want this.

 

'You know you want this.'

 

"Would you like to tell me why Seokjin's little friend is in a gang?" I don't open my eyes, please. Stop. "Should have known there was more than meets the eye with you pretty boy, so tell me, who are you?" Stop. I shake my head, no longer caring about the pain in my shoulder, my heart hurts too much, my panic rising, please, this has to be a nightmare, this isn't real. I freeze when I feel his rough hands trace over my cheeks, a sob racking through my chest ending with me wincing at the pain. Too much. "What's my little prize doing in a big scary world like this?" He pouts, and I feel like a child, my sense of identity shrivelling into a burned piece of paper, just an ember in a giant pit of flames, please, erase me. 

 

I open my eyes, sucking in a breath to meet the eyes of someone I never want to face again, I tried so fucking hard to block him from my mind. Everything is crumbling; this is all too much. Why? Why of all people, why him? Why couldn't I be left to die slowly by myself? Why bring him back into my already painful life? Why make me suffer more? Am I that destined to rot in hell? Do I not deserve happiness? A second chance? Why is everything good coming to an end and being replaced with torture? I don't think I can take much more of this. 

 

"Which gang?" 

 

No reply. 

 

"Which fucking gang?"

 

No reply. 

 

"Okay... I see how it is; loyalty is a big thing for you; I guess, so I suppose you won't mind us doing this?" He trails off, both men smirking widely as the door barges open behind me, the sound of scuffling feet along the concrete as I wait with suppressed breathing for whatever they are doing to be presented in front of me. Black Rat keeps his eyes aimed at my face, possessive almost as I stare back, I've got to stay strong. I hesitantly let my eyes fall onto the moving objects shuffling towards me, my heart shattering when I see, anything but that.

 

"No," I whisper, my eyes locking onto the figure, the new man throwing him onto the floor, a small yelp eliciting as he falls to his knees before being kicked over by Black Rat. "No, I won't tell you," I state, eyes leaving his for one moment to stare down the three disgusting men. I hold my ground, I'm close to passing out from the pain, but I will not let them win, I will not let them destroy me as they did to Kim and I will never surrender and definitely not now Jimin is here, not now that he is in danger as well.

 

"As you wish," the man in the middle smirks, his eyes trailing down onto Jimin, I watch with bated breath, Jimin yanked back to his feet and held in place. "Such a pretty face," he purrs lowly, Jimin squirms as the man leans in closer, his eyes trained deadly straight on his lips that Jimin has instinctively curled in, whimpering as the tight grip on his arms. He looks so small surrounded by these three ugly brutes, so pure and childlike, then it hits me, children. Children are their prey, and Jimin is looking terrifyingly pure.

 

I don't want Jimin to be marked; I don't want him in the same boat as me, I can't let that happen. I panic, the man's lips ghosting his pale skin and I am not having him be haunted by that touch. I won't allow him to be harmed, I might be mad at him, but right now I don't care, comrades will survive through this battle. "Justin! My name is Justin, and I'm just a runner for the Eagles, please! I am just a runner; I take drugs to people, don't hurt him!"  

 

"Bullshit!" Black Rat spits as he kicks Jimin hard in the ribs, he instantly wails out gasping for the breath that's been taken from his body, I try to struggle against the ties, but it's hard when your fucking shoulders popped. "Tell the fucking truth, or I beat him till he's dead!" I don't doubt that threat at all, Jimin's eyes glassy as he feebly lifts his head to look at me, lips a quivering mess, I know what he's thinking. Even after all this time, after a month of me trying to force myself to hate his guts, I just can't, one glance of those tear-filled eyes and I am a mushy pulp for him.

 

"Just tell them, please," Jimin cries out as he's kicked once more, "please! I promise it'll be okay Justin!" I can't; I'm sorry Jimin, I can't betray my gang like that, not that easy.

 

"Stop beating him and I'll tell you, please, leave him be," I gasp out panicked, they seem to take my proposition into account, Black Rat's gaze glancing over at the other two men who are so dissimilar to him, I am guessing he's lower rank or at least an entirely different position. Both the man I despise and the new one are dressed in suits, fine clothing that could easily be mistaken as business attire; both have ties on, gaudy looking things that send a harsh reminder to his clothing on the day he abused me. They look similar too; I think they might be related, same height, slightly different builds but not muscular in the same way myself and Jimin are built. In terms of power it should be myself and Jimin who are the top dogs, but here we are, Jimin beaten into the ground begging for air and me tied to a chair with my arm hanging at an unpleasant angle.

 

"Please, I'll tell you I swear, just leave Jimin," the men snort, the voice of Boss ringing through my head when he told me I'm trying to be the hero, I'm not, I'm just trying to at least ensure one of us survives this. One of us can live on, and I have accepted that I would rather die than to have Jimin killed in front of me, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he was dead. I should fucking hate him, he betrayed me and my trust, but it looks like Kwan did the same to him.

 

Jimin is kicked once more, harder than before and I am sure I almost heard a rib crack with the way Jimin is crying out. The sound of him in agony is torture, I yell out, frustrated that I can't move. I want to save him, fucking let me help him! Black Rat goes to kick him again when the door bursts open, and all three of their gazes turn in that direction. "Leave it!" The voice bellows, and for a moment I feel thankful, my anxiety lowering to a simmer before realisation picks up, Jimin is safe, I am not. "Who the fuck said it was okay to do this?" Kwan asks, storming over and roughly picking Jimin up off the floor. All three men have lost their power, cowering their heads in shame as he bores his eyes into each of their skulls.

 

"Who the fuck said you could touch my cousin?" Kwan spits in Black Rat's face; it's almost entertaining to watch him shrivel up in front of my face. Jimin stood clutching his stomach, and I try to make eye contact, for him for just a second to know that it's okay, he doesn't look my way, just straight ahead at Kwan. After Kwan slaps Black Rat, his attention turns to me, tutting and curling his lips into a snarl as we make eye contact, "should have fucking known you were a fucking rat," I keep my expression blank, I'm not giving him shit.

 

"Jimin go sit over there, you two fucking leave now," Kwan points to the door, both Black Rat and the other man leaving without as much as a breath, the other keeps his eyes peeled on me as I watch Jimin slowly stumble over to the chair in the corner. It's silent for a moment, just heavy breathing from Kwan and the slightest awkward movement from the other. "Is this the kid?" Kwan asks pointing at me like I haven't just been sat here for fucking however fucking long. The man nods, grin present and I feel my stomach churn. "Surprised he hasn't mentioned it to anyone, Jimin darling did your lovely friend here not mention anything?" Horror strikes my very cord, no, Jimin can't find out. No, no. Please, fucking don't tell him. 

 

Jimin doesn't answer, his eyes trained on the ground still, he looks like a young child that's been scolded by his teacher, please Jimin. "Fucking answer me!" Kwan roars, lunging towards the more youthful and smacking him straight across the cheek, Jimin falls to the ground with a heavy thud, I watch, my heart-shattering.

 

"No," Jimin barely talks above a whisper, if it wasn't for the silence Kwan wouldn't have heard it at all, and he chuckles, turning back to me with this demonic glint in his eyes. I watch as he strides towards me with such pride, my eyes facing the front as he stands by my side, my breathing caught in my throat the moment he grabs my arm. 

 

Crunch. 

 

He's popped my shoulder back into place, I yell out at the pain, Jimin's eyes finally reaching mine and I only see terror. "Kwan please, don't hurt him! That wasn't part of the plan!" Plan, he was in on the fucking plan too? Was everyone I care about in on this? Next Yoongi hyung will be walking through those doors, and then I honestly will have no one. My eyes latch onto his; he seems hurt, ashamed maybe? But the gut feeling of hatred for him begins to resurface; I can't suppress the urge to glare, to frown in disappointment, I know he sees the sadness in my eyes, it fucking kills.

 

"That's something I want to know Jimin; why are you friends with a fucking crow?" Jimin doesn't know how to answer, by the way, he's hunched I can tell he's afraid of his cousin, I know there's something more there, but I can't think past my own unprecedented fear to even begin to really care about his. The man has stepped closer to me, just his presence feels like my flesh is being torn outwards, suffocating and I want nothing more than to shrivel up and vanish, I tried to banish him from my thoughts, neglect the whispers and try, try my fucking hardest to forget his touches but here he is, unfazed and proud. Just breathing, just living while I want nothing more than to die. I don't see the point; I'm just going to be hurt even more than I already have been.

 

I'm trying to be strong, trying to keep the mask firmly fixed on my face, burrow my terrified body into the cloak but it's still there. It won't ever leave, will it? I'll never be able to escape the feeling, he's tied to me now, and I just want to give up. I don't have the strength to fight it. I'm alone.

 

"Juyong, tie my cousin up next to his friend," Jimin's eyes blow wide, his mouth agape as the man, who I now know the name of marches over to the younger, grabbing him before Jimin can even process what's happening. Jimin's yelling, resisting the pull of the older man but he's stronger, more extensive too, he towers over Jimin, and I just close my eyes. I don't mean for a tear to fall but I can feel my heart physically shattering, clenching, the ache in my chest growing and I don't see any hope. I don't see the light at the end of this tunnel, it's just darkness, and I doubt I'll see the light again.

 

"Kwan, please! Ah!" Jimin cries out as his arms are tied to the chair, pinching his skin, and he kicks out, winding Yuyong but it doesn't seem to affect him at all. I watch, that's all I can do, Jimin's face is puffy and red, hurt pouring from every inch of his persona, and I'm conflicted. I want to care, I do care, but I can't stop the anger, the betrayal, and I have no way of suppressing one and focusing on the other, it's all too much. I know Jimin isn't going to be killed, Kwan is using him as a ploy to get me to speak, thinking that harming Jimin will get me talking, it won't. It might hurt to watch Jimin being injured, but I stay loyal to the gang, loyal to those who do not betray, Kim and Park, are not loyal. Not to me anyway. 

 

"Justin! Please just tell them!" Jimin screams, his voice croaking under the pressure as Kwan begins injuring Jimin in some way I can't see because my neck has gone stiff, I can only look forward, my shoulder becoming too painful to even begin to think about moving it. I don't think he popped it back incorrectly, it feels broken, or at least not entirely secure inside the joint. "Justin!" He wails and I just close my eyes, the sound of tearing ripples through the echoes of the room and I don't want to know what he just did. I don't even want to begin to imagine but the way Jimin is panting, trying to calm his nerves I know he's been cut somewhere. "Kwan, p-please, don't do this t-to me!" He sobs, Kwan doesn't seem fazed but then when does he? He's an emotionless murderer who is willing to even harm his own flesh and blood. 

 

"Tell me why you know him Jimin, and I won't hurt you again," easy right? Simple answer and Jimin won't be hurt again. Kwan has him on an effortless slide into safety there, a sweet and friendly kiddies ball pit, it's a lie. He won't stop hurting him; he'll continue until he has ripped every inch of Jimin's mind from his body, won't rest until every secret is told, revealed to the world in the shape of the last magic trick, the rabbit in the hat, the key to Houdini's lock.

 

"Smoke," I blurt out, Jimin instantly stopping his weeps to turn towards me, Kwan and Juyong as well although I am more interested in Jimin, I know he knows what that means. He seems to be contemplating it from what I can make out from my peripheral, so does Kwan. He won't get it, only Jimin. 

 

"Smoke? What the fuck does that mean?" Kwan spits storming towards me, and I see Jimin relax visibly with the presence of him further away. I won't tell him shit. Smoke was our code word, I taught it to Jimin within the first week of training, it's used when there is a hidden agenda behind their words, a smoke hazing the truth, a lie coated in a black fog of deceit. I know Jimin won't speak now, he's an Eagle, or supposed to be one, protect the gang with his life, not the other way around.

 

"Smoke," Jimin repeats breathily, Kwan's attention snapping back to the blonde, he's feeling outnumbered mentally, and that's where we will always be top, he can beat me until I'm bleeding my organs out, but my mind will always have strength. Or at least I hope.

 

"Ah just fuck this, Juyong bring out the whore," Kwan scoffs rolling his eyes, as he halfheartedly flaps his hand in the general direction of the door. Whore. Taehyung. I can hear Jimin mumbling something to Kwan, but my mind is too focused on Taehyung to care, Jimin's probably just trying to worm himself out of this. His mumbling instantly stops when the door bangs open again, and the now familiar sound of scuffing shoes comes in, I wonder who's next on the list of being tied up.

 

That isn't Taehyung. 

 

Kwan chuckles when he sees my reaction; I can't stop my eyes going wide and my inability to gulp, "oops, your whores ours now," I instantly try to pull the ties off my hands and lunge at him, how fucking dare he. Kwan only sniggers as Juyong chucks her on the floor just like Jimin expect this time she's gagged and naked. Euhna. She looks me directly in the eyes, my face twisting into one of apology and sorrow, she just shakes her head slightly, a sign that she is okay, that she isn't afraid and that gives me strength. She's strong, she isn't allowing this to control her, and I want that too, I just stare back, each moment I look into her dark eyes I gain a little more ability to fight back.

 

Jimin is still sobbing beside me, there's a pool of red on the floor by his feet that I can just about get a glimmer of and I really hope Kwan hasn't harmed him to the point where he would bleed to death, it doesn't seem like it but I am a little cautious about it. The two men seem to be growing bored with our lack of talking, apparently realising that they'll need to do better if they want us screaming out secrets, I doubt they'll be able to get me to talk, my lips are fucking sealed with superglue.

 

"You're probably wondering how we gained this information on you Justin, turns out you are pretty shitty when it comes to pretending. Telling my whore not to trust me was a bad idea, did you also think my baby cousin over here wouldn't tell me? Considering your fag ass hurt him? How does it feel? To have your friends turn against you?"

 

"How does it feel to know that all your men are being wiped out by a boy you don't even know the name of?" That upsets him, Jimin instantly stops crying, and I can see the enjoyment in Eunha's eyes at my comment. Kwan seizes up, his hands clenching and jaw going impossibly tense, I just smirk, "how does that feel, you tell me."

 

"You think you're so fucking clever; I think you've forgotten your place faggot, look where you are. No Sniper is going to come to save you now." 

 

"I don't need Sniper to come and save me if I die, I die, but the thing is, you'll never beat us, you'll never be where we are. You're not strong enough."

 

Kwan laughs, it is, but I'm smiling widely, I can tell he's getting angry, I'm luring him in, make him angry, and he'll lose all sense of rashness. Treat him like Lear; he'll go mad in rage, a storm reflecting his inner anguish and bam, his ability to see clearly will be tarnished, that's when I'll pounce. I might be tied to a chair with a dodgy shoulder but that doesn't affect my ability to be the Sasin I was taught to be, I'll be strong and throw my own inner turmoil to the side, I want Eunha and Jimin to survive. I think that's the main difference; I am no longer afraid to die, Kwan is, he's fucking terrified, I have the upper ground, he just doesn't know it. 

 

"Jeo-Justin don't," Jimin stammers, I feel my ears prick up at the accidental slip of the tongue, no one else seems to pick up on it, or if they did they haven't mentioned it. Kwan seems too busy sucking breaths in between his teeth, fists clenched still and pacing, his whole posture changing into one of intense anger, that's it, Kwan, blow your lid. "I'm sorry," he whimpers, head falling limp against his shoulder, I try to turn to look at him, my own hands clenching as well as my heart. The hurt behind his voice kills, "I'm so sorry, I didn't think, I'm a coward and was hurt, I didn't mean for this to happen, I'm so sorry."

 

"Not the time Jimin," I reply rather bluntly, he sniffles, god he's crying. "I'm sorry too, but it's gone past that now, keep strong." That's when Kwan lunges at me, in his haze of anger he grabs my collar and somehow unties the rope around my arms with the force at which he pulls me, I lunge upwards able to free myself, and instantly I start swinging. I knock him straight in the jaw, a crunch coming from him before he's punching me back. The pain in my arm is still there, I don't know if I can lift it or if I should even try, but right now I have to defend myself.

 

I know I'm outnumbered and I am wounded as well, but in the anger and adrenaline, I think I could take on a whole Spartan army barehanded. I yell out, slashing about with my fists, never missing a punch, dodging agilely around each throw Kwan sends me, Juyong is quick to join in. This is my chance, payback for what he did to me. With one mighty swing I smash my fist into his smug face, the sound of a crack before he's yelling out on the floor, blood pouring out in spurts, I broke his nose. I stand there, breathing in and out as I watch him, serves him right. 

 

I don't stop there, kick after kick, I pummel the man into the ground. I can feel hot tears pricking my eyes, how fucking dare he. "I hate you!" I yell, my throat cracking under the pressure as I kick him hard in the head, he stops moving. Knocked him out most probably, he's still breathing. If I had my knife or a gun, it would be a different story.

 

That's when I feel something hard hit the back of my head, my knees buckling and I fall to the floor, fuck. That hurt. 

 

The last thing I hear is Jimin screaming, I feebly turn my head to look over at him, he's not attached to the chair anymore. I blink heavily, my eyes becoming harder to keep open as I feel a pair of small hands clutch my cheeks, sobbing loud in my ears, ringing, screeching, white noise. It's echoing, distant. "I'm sorry!" Jimin chokes out, and I smile, I forgive him. I'll always forgive him.

 

White. 

 

Black.

 

Nothing. 

 

 

 


 

 

 

"Hyung, what are you doing?" I ask unable to stop my smile growing, he turns around looking at me startled, he mumbles a 'you scared me' before I jump onto the couch. "What are you doing?" I ask again in a playful tone, my eyes watching him as he shyly looks away, a small smile painting his face too, his newly dyed ashy brown hair hiding his eyes from me. I jump forward, lying on my stomach and placing my hands under my chin to prop me up so I can watch him closely, he goes back to looking out the window.

 

I watch as he lifts the camera to his eye, focusing in on something, I twist my head to the side in intrigue, I've never seen him like this. I can't help the pounding in my heart, a clenching that makes me believe that this man really will be the death of me. "Hyung! You never answered me!" I whine playfully, he turns back around again, lowering the camera from his face staring at me, well blinking anyway. He signals for me to move so he can sit down and I quickly jump up into a sitting position as he pivots around the furniture to sit beside me. 

 

"What do you think I am doing?" He asks lowly, his eyes holding a playful glint, I like it when he's in a good mood like this. I shrug, I clearly know what he is doing, but I want him to tell me, "that dumb huh?" I shove his shoulder slightly making him grin widely, my heart doing the familiar flip, god I can't keep my eyes off of him. "Well Gukkie, this is called a camera, you take photos with it," I roll my eyes.

 

"I know that! Why do you have it?" I ask shifting on the couch to get more comfortable, he reaches his hand out and places it naturally onto my shoulder, his hand smoothly snaking into my hair, as usual, that's his thing. We can't be affectionate often, only sex at night and the odd kiss during the day but this, this is Taehyung's way of showing me that I am more than a body, he's here for me, all of me. I can't help but fall into the touches, the gesture becoming a second home, his eyes intimately connecting with my own, I can count every freckle on this face, six. The one on his nose is my favourite, I like kissing it and making him blush, but that doesn't happen often, he doesn't allow it. 

 

"I decided I want to start capturing moments. Life goes by so fast you know, and I just want something to stay permanent I guess? Like, I've been taking photos of Gangnam, at this moment I want it to stay like this forever, but I know it won't. A new building will be built, another will close down, signs will change, and that's just the human-made structures. Nature is even less permanent. The sky is continuously evolving, birds only staying in our view for a matter of moments, clouds passing before becoming just a white smudge in a sea of blue. Just look outside Gguk, it's always changing, and I want to be able to look back in a photo and see something I once saw. In ten years Gangnam won't be the same, I can reminisce and say 'hey I remember when that sunset was so bright that I was in awe and felt at peace', it can bring me comfort. That's why I'm taking photos Gguk." I listen to his words, Taehyung has this way of going off on tangents that don't really make sense, but to him, they are perfectly clear, I think I understand.

 

"So you're taking photos to remember emotions?" I ask, and he smiles enthusiastically, his hand rubbing the back of my neck gently, "can I see?" I ask, and he instantly cradles his camera against his chest pouting widely, I smile, cute. "Is that a no? Why can't I see?" I ask leaning forward to try and grab the camera from him.

 

"You can't! They haven't been developed yet," he says putting the camera on the table beside him, so I can't reach, I sigh, mumbling a 'fine'. "I'll show you when it's finished okay? It's personal." I hear the lilt of his emotions breaking through, and I suddenly realise there's probably more to his want to remember, but I won't question it now, I know it'll be thrown back at me, and we'll end up arguing.

 

"Will you take photos of me?" I ask trying to lighten the heaviness of the atmosphere; he turns his head to look directly at me, his eyes wandering over my face questioning but ends up blinking and turning to look back at his camera. "I've been here what? A year now, I've grown; do you not want to remember me in moments?" I chuckle lightly, but Taehyung only looks down, I pick up quickly on his silence and shuffle myself closer to him. His familiar strawberry fragrance is hitting my nose as I try to pull him onto me. "Tae," I whisper, his body fighting against mine but he eventually ends up straddling me even if he's looking everywhere but at me.

 

"Taehyung!" I sing song childishly, I catch the glimmer of a smile before he suppresses it back down again. I keep my grip firm on his hips, trying to move my head side to side to catch his eye. "Hyung, what's wrong?" I ask leaning forward and gently kissing his neck, I feel him relax against my thighs, melting into my touch and soon his hands are back in my hair, resting his wrists against my neck.

 

He looks at me, I pout, puppy eyes out and he quickly smiles, "I think your idea is very beautiful hyung, I know very little people who care about the world as you do, you wanting to treasure your moments is very pretty. If you want it to be personal I won't ask again," I kiss his cheek and his head instantly burrows into my neck, and he makes a strange whining noise. I just hold him, getting lost in the feeling of his body on mine is nothing more than a shared adoration for one another, he is so special to me.

 

"I've already taken photos of you," Taehyung mumbles sheepishly against my neck, his lips ghosting the skin, sending tingles down my spine at the contact but this isn't the correct moment for that type of intimacy. This is a raw, profound moment, us sharing each other's thoughts, baring our souls to the other in shared hope that we'll still see them the same way. Taehyung is an angel to me, he could show me his worst, and I'd even see the light, the purity that runs through his body in magnetic waves. 

 

I don't know how to respond, I just pull him away slightly to look at him, he's gone red in embarrassment, and I kiss his cheeks again, so cute. "I went quiet because it seemed like you were just joking, but I have already taken photos, all candid of course, you weren't paying attention, but of course I'll take photos of you Gguk!" He blurts out, his lips pouting and I smile, pulling him closer into my chest. "I've seen you grow up so much and it scares me at how quickly you're actually becoming a young man, I want you to stay cute forever!" Now it's my turn to pout, cute? I was never cute! 

 

"I want to treasure moments like this, moments of just you and I and I think the only way to preserve that would be through a film. I don't know where we'll be in the years to come, Gukkie but I hope my photos will always remind me of who we once were, or what we were. Memories in a frame I guess, just you, I want an album of just you." He's embarrassed again, his body trying to hide in me but I stop him, he whines trying to turn away, but I've got him. The smile on my face is actually aching my cheeks, he's so fucking adorable.

 

"Hyung, that's so fucking cute!" He pushes my chest. 

 

"You're just making fun of me!" He pouts. 

 

"No, seriously hyung that's really fucking adorable. I want you to take photos of me too, but you have to take photos of yourself as well, you can't just preserve me in frames when there's a whole beauty behind the camera too!" He snorts, I laugh along with him. 

 

"Cheesy," he sniggers, and I kiss him gently, we both melt into the touch, his hands wrapping around my neck instinctively. "Okay, I'll take photos of us both, it can be our little thing yeah? A secret." I smile into the kiss, we might be deadly assassins, but all we really want is to be happy, to love and to feel loved. Taehyung gives me that, even if it is a little harder to get at, I know it's real, this moment and his openness to preserve us in photos proves that to me. Our little secret. Our small world away from the gang, just us, together.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

 

Buzzing? No. Vibrating? No. Static? No. What is that noise? Humming? Possibly. But I can also hear dripping? Is that dripping? I think so. God, my head kills. I should be used to waking up to not being able to open my eyes, my other senses dulled apart from my hearing as per usual, god the suspense. I don't think I can even move. I try forcing my brain to twitch a finger, just slightly but it doesn't work, it only sends my head into agony, fuck, what the fuck? The buzzing? It's louder now, too loud, almost deafening and I'm confused, so confused as to why my eyes won't open. Open them Jeongguk, it isn't hard.

 

It doesn't work. 

 

I sigh, or at least I think I sighed, I'm not too sure right now. Anyway, in my mind I did. I try to remember how I got into this position, not being able to move or open my eyes easily, what the fuck happened to me? I search my memories, scroll through them like random pages in a book, not that one, not that one, maybe this one? No. What the fuck? Why can't I remember? Was I hit? Is that it? Shit, maybe I have a concussion? What does a concussion feel like? I don't know. Fuck, I don't know anything. 

 

I try to concentrate my hearing back onto that strange noise, what the fuck is that? It isn't human, mechanical I guess. Television? No. Radio? Similar. No, it sounds too high frequency to be a radio. It sounds electric like I'm stood by a telegraph line or something. Shit, actually where am I? I can't feel around, my body isn't doing what I would like it to do, I guess I'm paralyzed, for now, hope not for long, I have an itch on my nose. I try to scrunch my nose up to relieve the irritation but that doesn't seem to work either, why are my brain and body communication not working? What the fuck? 

 

I know I should probably feel really fucking terrified right now about my body not working, but I seem to be pretty chill like I'm high or something. Shit, am I high? I've only taken marijuana a couple times, didn't see the hype, it just made me hungry and drowsy. No, I'm not high, just kind of buzzed like when I was on an IV line. Fuck. Am I on an IV line? I quickly try to search my body with my mind for any feeling of something irritating my skin or heaviness in my arms, nope, don't feel anything except a heavy weight on my legs. Move your legs Jeongguk. Nothing. 

 

I just want to open my eyes, it would be so fucking easy if my eyes would just cooperate and all these questions would be out the window in seconds, but no, of course not, the drama only has to build up doesn't it? Fucking shit. This is absolute bullshit, my life is in danger, and here I am stressing about my fucking eyes not opening, fuck sake Jeongguk, can't even blink without there being a fucking dramatic complication.