Chapter Text
There were so many smells in the air. They were all familiar, but they were still unpleasant. Smoke, fire… blood. Screams of rage filled the air along with the clash of metal, breaking bones, slicing flesh and the much quieter, but far worse drip, drip, drip of blood. It was getting farther and farther away, as a women I recognized but didn’t truly know carried me further away. She was as familiar as all the others, hair the palest shade of blonde, smooth face, alabaster skin, strong, toned muscles, thin lips set in a grim line, eyes that were cold and unfeeling, eyes that were only like mine in color. The color silver.
It was only after hours of travel that she finally spoke, her voice was strong and unrelenting. “You can’t begin to understand what’s going on child. You’ve only just passed our clans initiation. Know that we are not like other people, because we are not human beings. We are little more than the beasts that we have hunted for countless years. The only difference is our minds are still intact. But there will be no more beasts to hunt, and so there will be no more reason for us to exist. There are others who believe different, that we can force our purpose onto this world indefinitely. They have lost sight of why we were created in the first place. This is the desired end result, a world that does not know the threat of Yoma, where the humans do not live in fear of being devoured in the night.”
She tilted her head down, eyes meeting mine as trees and mountains continued to race by. She spoke again, softly this time, her words weighed heavy by years of pain, “A world where our sisters are no longer slaughtered one after another. Our suffering can finally end. But they don’t see that, they have forgotten what it was to feel human. Their memories of such a time... are blurred and buried by inhuman bodies. When the fighting is done, there will be no one left.”
I had never heard words like that come from any of the warriors. They had only spoken of our clans great and vital purpose, of their feats in battle, their greatest triumphs against the Yoma.
Her lips shifted just the smallest bit, lifting into what could almost be called a grin. “But you have fresh human memories, you can be more than a simple hunter, you can build a true life for yourself with comrades to share in your joys and sorrows. Our clan is dying from the inside. But I will not allow our fate to be yours as well, you shouldn’t have to pay for our hubris. Remember the rules laid out by your handler, if you wish for even a sliver of our clan to survive, know that it must be through you, as a human being.”
I didn’t like the boat. It was damp and cold below the deck, and it smelled like old, rotting fish. It reminded me of my first days amongst my clan, they kept us locked up underground in dark cells of metal and stone. The only comfort the twisted bodies of the other children. We huddled together for warmth, we cried our silent tears into each other’s shirts. Our bones growing and shifting under skin pulled too tight against our small bodies. The hot malicious aura of our yoki writhing and bubbling, threatening to spill over, to split our bodies open.
I released my hold on my arms, blood running from where my nails had dug into my flesh. My breathing loud and labored. It was done, I had passed, I was good enough and... it didn’t matter anymore. I fought to control my breathing, to keep from being heard by those on top. I can’t get caught now, I won’t survive if they throw me off. I need to make it to land. As the boat continued it’s nauseating rhythm, I tried not to think about how the smell was like the failures rotting back in the cells.
There won’t be anyone to clean out the old ones anymore.
I shut my eyes tight, keeping my breathing quiet, waiting until it was over and I could see the sun.
I never saw such a pretty blue before and the giant light was too much for my eyes. It cast it’s light across everything, touching everything underneath the sky. Warmth seeped into my skin. I shed more tears, knowing the others wouldn’t get to see it, wouldn’t get to feel it.
They don’t matter, they aren’t anything. We have no use for them, they can not even survive under the weight of their own power.
"You will fight and bleed and even die if our clan demands it, as long as you remain useful, as long as you can stand under the weight of your strength, of our clans strength, you will be known as a warrior. But if you falter, if you succumb to the beast within, you will be another failure just as they were, and I will not hesitate to strike you down."
I felt the sting of tears escaping for the first time since that day.
I f our clan is dead, then what will I become, I'm not a warrior, I had never even killed a Yoma. I only just learned how to use my yoki. How do I be a human being? Is it just by crying, or is it from the feeling of crying? Is it something else, something more than just doing or feeling?
Will the sky look the same in the land of fire? What do the people there do, where do they live, what do they eat?
A million thoughts swirled through my head on the fourth day on the boat. I was desperate to distract myself from the swaying of the boat and the aggravating noise of creaking wood.
Do they like fish? How many of them have been on a boat? How many of them share a room? Or do they sleep in their own rooms, like the higher ups used to?
I’d only ever known the members of my clan, I’d only ever seen a few normal humans before.
Would they look the same as me? Us? But I didn’t look like them. I didn't look like them. My hair is the wrong color. My hair is the wrong color. Brown. Black. Not blonde or the occasional gray.
On the eighth day the boat stopped in the land of hot water, and I was finally able to breath fresh air. The sky still looked the same blue as when I left. I quickly ran off before anyone could see me, I don’t need to get in trouble when I’ve just arrived, I’m not even in the land of fire yet.
It was a little hard trying to hide from everyone, as there were a lot of people. More than I had ever seen before. But I found out pretty quickly that they didn't seem to care about me. In fact, less people seemed to take note of me when I wasn't trying to hide. So I ended up just walking along the road as people in white outfits with wet hair and moist skin passed me by. Why are so many people dressed the same? Are they part of the same family? But then they would look alike wouldn't they? Sure there were people who kind of looked alike, but there were plenty of people who looked really different from each other. I didn't know people could look that different! Even the few people I had seen outside of my clan looked kind of like us. Eyes, hair, face, height, muscles, skin, both color and texture, it was all so much to take in.
After a few hours of walking I came to a stop. Night had fallen and I had no intention of getting lost in the dark. I need to keep heading west if I want to get out of the land of hot water, but I can’t do that if I don’t know which way I’m going. I had decided to stay in a nearby cave that night, but when I entered I found that it wasn’t as empty as I had thought. Inside was a short, elderly woman with discolored wrinkly skin, wearing faded violet clothing that could only be described as old rags. Though I suppose I don’t look much better after more than a week without bathing, not to mention the stench of dead fish.
“It’s been quite some time since I’ve had any visitors, what brings you here young one?” Her voice was surprisingly kind, though a bit nasally.
“I’m going to the land of fire, I-I… need a new home. And I promised my sister I’d get there.”
The old woman appeared to consider my words, almost as if she were trying to decide something. “The land of fire certainly has its benefits, but it has also been part of many wars in the not too distant past. Surely your sister would prefer you stay in a more comfortable place. Yugakure is to the north west. They call it the village which has forgotten wars. They happen to be quite wealthy as well, I’d imagine you would have a much safer, more comfortable and luxurious life if you went there.”
“Umm. I guess... I don't really know, I’m not from anywhere near here. But… something seemed a little... wrong about the people I saw on the way here. I don’t know what it was, but they don’t look the same as you, not just your body and clothes, but...”
She let out a harsh bark of laughter at my comment. “I would think so, but I’m surprised you're so perceptive." Something in the way she looked at me changed, something in her eyes. "You're right when you say that, the people of this land may have forgotten war, but not without a price.”
“What kind of price?” Is it like the price we pay for yoki?
Her face took on a more serious light as she spoke. “It was by staying silent in the face of evil. The stood by at critical times, when there were those who desperately needed help, and they did nothing. Even when those in need were from their own village.”
“Is that why you live out here alone? Because they didn’t help you when you asked?”
She shook her head. “No, it was not me who they failed, but there are days where I wish it was. I lost someone very precious to me, and it left a hole in my heart that hasn’t filled since.” Her eyes were filled with sorrow, glistening in the pale light filtering in from the cave’s maw. “Whether your sister knows it or not, she made the right decision sending you to the land of fire. It may not be the most ideal place to live, but such a place doesn’t exist without some sacrifice. It is true that you will be accepted there as a refugee, but they’ll want something in return. Are you prepared to pay for that?”
“I... don't have another choice. What kind of price is it?”
“Those who are accepted are required either to submit themselves as laborers or shinobi of Konohagakure.”
“Shi-no-bi? I don't know that word, and I don’t know where… Leaf Town is.”
Her expression was one of confusion, surprise, and laughter. “Well you’re just full of surprises aren’t you?” My face flushed in embarrassment as she continued to speak. “Konohagakure, or the village hidden in the leaves, is the heart of the land of fire’s military. It is a village where young men and women are trained to become highly skilled warriors called shinobi.”
Warriors! Is that why she wanted me to go there, to finish my training? No... wait... that doesn’t make sense, she said it herself that there aren’t any Yoma left. I frowned in confusion, unsure of what my sister had wanted of me.
“What’s the matter, getting cold feet?”
My head snapped up in attention. “No, no that’s not it at all. Just… what do shinobi do? What does it mean to be one?”
“Such interesting questions, you really are a strange one. But don’t think bad of it, different perspectives can be quite useful. As for the answer, well I suppose it’s different for everyone. They do all sorts of jobs, depending on the client that pays them. It could be something as mundane as weeding a garden to as dangerous as killing a feudal lord. But I hear in Konoha, to be a shinobi is to fight to protect the people who cannot fight for themselves.”
"The reason we exist, is to protect those who cannot defend themselves. We are the thin line separating them from the overpowering force of the Yoma."
My eyes widened in amazement. This is it, this is why she wanted me to go, our purpose can still exist there, at least... kind of. “That’s what I want to do! I want to help people!”
Her eyes lit up just a fraction. “It’s nice to see such kindness in the young. Tell me your name young man.”
I was startled by her request. A name?
"You are one of many who passed induction, from here on out you will be known as number 78."
“I don’t really have a name.” I looked down, feeling somehow ashamed by the fact. It’s not like I can tell her what they called me, what we called each other. Only warriors had real names.
“Well that won’t do, a boy like you deserves to have a name.” I looked up surprised once more by the woman in front of me. “How about Kagami. It’s a lovely name that I think would suit you quite well. As for a surname, why not take some time to decide yourself, you’ll have plenty of time to consider on your journey west.” She wrote the name in the dirt for me to see as she spoke. 'Kagame.'
I tested the name in my mouth as I memorized the spelling, “Kagami… Kagame… It sounds nice. Thank you, umm… can I ask your name?”
She burst out laughing at that. “I’m nobody, just a hermit tired of living in villages. The name I once held is of little importance now. The person I was then isn’t who I am now. So the name just doesn’t fit anymore.”
“Oh… okay.” But that doesn't really answer my question.
Her eyes met mine for a minute, she seemed to decide something in that moment. “Before you leave, let me teach you something. You might find it useful later on.” She held out her left hand expectantly, I lifted my own hesitantly before taking it. I felt a sharp pain as spectral vines burst out of her hand and stabbed into my own. Despite the pain I held my grip. Then as soon as they appeared, the vines vanished, they didn’t retreat back into her hand, they just vanished into thin air. My eyes widened in surprise as I let out a gasp.
“I call it hermit purple. I use it for divination of my surroundings and to grab things out of my reach.” As she spoke she had pulled out a pouch and dumped a handful of salt on the ground. “Watch carefully now.” She stuck two fingers into the salt pile as the vines reappeared, I was awestruck as the salt dispersed and formed a map. “Here’s the land of hot water where we are, and over here is Konoha, where you’re going.”
“That was amazing! How did you do that?”
“It took years of training to develop this technique, but well, I’ve had a lot of time to make it. When you learn how to manipulate chakra, you’ll figure it out too.”
“Chakra?”
She started laughing again, I’m getting the feeling that there’s a lot I’m missing here. “You don’t have to worry about that now. They’ll teach you all about it in Konoha, it’s something that all children working to be shinobi learn.”
I ended up spending the night watching the strange woman use her vines to grab rocks and sticks from far away and throw them around just by moving her arms. It was so cool! If all I need is this chakra thing, then the kids in Konoha better watch out, I’ll be a shinobi in no time!
When I woke up in the morning, she was gone.
I don’t think I’ll see her again, but...
I looked down at my hand, knowing it was different than before, that I was different.
After two weeks of travel I finally reached the gates of Konoha. I was surprised by the number of trees in the land of fire.
It should be called the land of trees since I haven't seen any fire since I've got here. But at least the village is named right.
The walls surrounding the village were huge, the buildings inside were…
Well I guess I don’t have a lot to compare them to. They look well built, and they’re probably nicer than any of the caves or tree roots I’ve been sleeping in. And they can’t be worse than the underground cages. And the sky's still blue.
The men at the gate were nice enough, even if they made sour faces when they saw me. It probably didn’t help that the only cleaning up I’ve done was wading through a nearby river. I still can’t shake the smell of dead fish from the boat. One of them even walked with me to this really tall building under a mountain that had faces on it. He talked to a lady at the desk on the first floor and then told me to walk to the top floor, “But don’t go any further, we don’t want you getting locked out on the roof.”
When I got to the top floor -but not the roof- there was a man with a mask on waiting in front of a set of double doors. He stood in a way that only someone who has killed countless times before could. His voice was just like my sisters, cold and unfeeling, “Lord Hokage will see you now.”