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peter parker likes wade wilson

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you could tell that peter was distressed due to the fact that he was actually lying on his bed for once instead of hanging from the ceiling. his hands were pressed over his eyes and one of his legs was bent while the other kept contact with his navy blue duvet. his mind was racing, and not in a good way like when he thought of a way to upgrade his suit. more of a bad way, an “oh fuck!”, an “i don’t know what’s happening!” kind of way. before peter moved over to the avengers facility with tony, may would often sit at the end of his bed at times like this and talk it out with him. he didn’t have may anymore. shit, it was five years since she first found out that he was spiderman. five years since he met tony, five years since germany and the ferry and washington and…

liz.

he sort of remembered her. almost forgot her, in fact. liz was a smart, funny girl who he could only describe as awesome . he was fifteen when he started to like her. he was almost twenty now. he’d finished high school and graciously took the opportunity to become an avenger. the iron spider suit was one of the most wonderful things he’d seen in his life, and it was all his. all his to use as an avenger, a hero, a role model. that was kind of scary. he’s a role model.

on the topic of wonderful things peter’s seen in his life, his mind is currently fixated on a man who goes by the name of wade wilson. wade. fucking. wilson. deadpool. the person making his brain turn to goo and his internal monologue go “oh fuck! i don’t know what’s happening!” peter had never gone out with a guy before, but he knew for a fact that he wasn’t straight. (after all, he’d be lying if he said he had never had a tiiiny little crush on ned. but he would never dare speak about that.) and the not-straightness, whatever it was in him, bi-ness, pan-ness, was brought out by… him. oh god, was he gay? what if he was actually gay? he couldn’t remember the last time he had a crush on a girl apart from liz! what the ass!

peter groaned aloud. did i seriously just think what the ass? fucking wade.

“knock knock!” came a sudden voice from outside. there wasn’t even time to respond before tony came barging into the room, immediately looking up expecting to be met with mr spiderman dangling from the ceiling. confused, he looked down to the bed where he could actually see his protege. “alright, kid, what’s up?” 

“nothing, mr stark-”

“we’ve known each other for five years and you’re really gonna whip out mr stark on me now? drop the formalities, pete. you’re not hanging from your ceiling, you haven’t left your room since you came back from rescuing that dog downtown-- you haven’t even eaten anything!” tony said, throwing his hands up in the air.

“first of all, you still call me kid.” peter mumbled into his elbow crease. tony shrugged at that. “and actually, i got a burger while i was out.”

“oh right, i can see the headline now: friendly neighborhood spiderman grabs a big mac with dog in hand.” the older man’s tone grew less welcoming as the sentence ended. “listen to me kid, something’s wrong with you and i’m here to find out what it is. you weren’t even happy to see the fucking dog. talk.”

peter frowned and placed his arms down by his sides, turning his head to the door to look at tony. “i-” he couldn’t find the words inside him, so he just closed his mouth after a few moments. he closed his eyes and breathed heavily out of his nose, and then he felt a dip at the end of his bed. he opened one eye, but didn’t look at the other man.

“tony, i don’t know what’s happening.”

they both paused. “you’re, what, nineteen now? isn’t it a little late-”

“no! god, no, no. please, don’t.”

“okay, sorry.” tony looked at the teenager, reading his face to see what he could pick up, if anything at all. “is it a girl?”

peter could’ve sworn he felt his brain short-circuit right then. “uhh… no…” he trailed off.

“ooh! what’s her name? is she smart? does she like science? does she know?” tony jumped up, grinning at the possibility of his favourite teenager having a cute little crush.

“no... it’s a... boy.”

tony widened his eyes, but the grin was still plastered on his face. peter’s one open eye followed him as he walked around the room.

“that’s fine! are you gay? are you bisexual? some other thing that the kids keep talking about that i’m too old to know about?”

the teen shrugged in return. “i don’t know. all i know is that i really like him.” peter opened his other eye and pushed himself up into a sitting position.

“ooh, i was talking to wade recently. he told me he’s pansexual!” tony turned around and beamed at him. “you know what that is?”

the air in peter’s lungs felt like they had been knocked right out of him with the mention of his name. a blush crept over his cheeks.

“okay wait, do you even know who wade is ? deadpool guy, red suit, bad mouth.”

“yeah, i do. we… we’re friends.” peter mumbled. wade was pansexual? his brain had gone from oh fuck! to OH FUCK! in a matter of seconds. he liked guys too? oh god, this actually gave him a chance, an actual chance with him! okay, all i need to do is impress him and do stuff to make him fall in love with me! i could make him a suit- wait no, he wouldn’t want it… i could take him to dinner? jeez, no, peter, WAY too obvious… fuck, there has to be something i can do to make him like me! peter was lost in his own thoughts, staring up at a mark directly above his head from where he always webbed the ceiling. ...oh god, is this too creepy? am i being creepy?

“pete? hey, pete! you listenin’?” apparently he had zoned out for a moment, completely ignoring what tony was saying to him.

“oh, yeah, sorry. wade. pansexual. likes guys.” his voice trembled slightly and he prayed that it wasn’t that obvious. “gotcha.” he coughed awkwardly and fumbled with his hands, making sure to avoid direct eye contact with tony.

“yeah! if you want, you can go talk to him about it. i’m sure he wouldn’t mind giving you some advice about swinging for the other team. okay, sorry, bad analogy. i just wanna be supportive. i... could... call him in for you right now-”

“NO! i mean, uh, no, thanks, dude, but i… i’m good.” peter visibly cringed at himself. “you really don’t need to do that tony. i’m sure wade won’t help much.” he added a nervous laugh to the end of the sentence to make it seem more genuine, only to immediately regret it. tony paused in place and stopped fumbling with one of peter’s old knick-knacks in his hand. he was silent, then he burst into laughter.

“oh, oh my god! you’re in love with him!” he keeled over, grabbing his knees. “peter, you like wade?! wade wilson?! god, you have such- such poor taste!” he wheezed, eyes screwed shut in a loud laugh.

“shut up!” he threw his head back against his headboard and whined, covering his face. tony continued to laugh, pretending to wipe tears from his eyes. “if you don’t stop laughing i’m gonna web you until you get out of my room!” his laughter died down and he rested his gaze on the small frame lying curled up against the bed.

“oh, you really like him?” tony asked, his voice softening.

“yeah, i do.” peter sighed, stretching out his legs. “i really do.”

“that, that’s cute. i’ll go call him and set the two of you up now. bye!” tony got up and rushed out of the room and peter bolted upright.

“no you will NOT! oh my god!” peter screamed, leaping across the room to web tony’s hand to the nearest wall. “i hate you!”

“love you too, kid!”