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peter parker likes wade wilson

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you could tell that peter was distressed due to the fact that he was actually lying on his bed for once instead of hanging from the ceiling. his hands were pressed over his eyes and one of his legs was bent while the other kept contact with his navy blue duvet. his mind was racing, and not in a good way like when he thought of a way to upgrade his suit. more of a bad way, an “oh fuck!”, an “i don’t know what’s happening!” kind of way. before peter moved over to the avengers facility with tony, may would often sit at the end of his bed at times like this and talk it out with him. he didn’t have may anymore. shit, it was years since she first found out that he was spiderman. years since he first met tony and he decided to take peter under his wing. 

he was fifteen when everything had happened. he was approaching his mid twenties now. he’d finished high school and graciously took the opportunity to become an avenger. tony was always around to offer help wherever he needed it. he even helped peter upgrade his suit in the early stages of his spider-life. the iron spider suit was one of the most wonderful things he’d seen in his life, and it was all his. all his to use as an avenger, a hero, a role model. that was kind of scary. he was a role model. even after all this time, even though peter was an adult who could handle his own living situation, tony took it upon himself to let peter stay with him. there was something about the young man that made his heart swell, he was the son he never had.

on the topic of wonderful things peter’s seen in his life, his mind is currently fixated on a man who goes by the name of wade wilson. wade. fucking. wilson. deadpool. the person making his brain turn to goo and his internal monologue go “oh fuck! i don’t know what’s happening!” peter had never gone out with a guy before, but he knew for a fact that he wasn’t straight. (after all, he’d be lying if he said he had never had a tiiiny little obsession with brendon urie. but he would never dare speak about that.) and the not-straightness, whatever it was in him, bi-ness, pan-ness, was brought out by… him. oh god, was he gay? what if he was actually gay? he couldn’t remember the last time he had a crush on a girl! what the ass!

peter groaned aloud. did i seriously just think what the ass? fucking wade.

“knock knock!” came a sudden voice from outside. there wasn’t even time to respond before tony came barging into the room, immediately looking up expecting to be met with mr spiderman dangling from the ceiling. confused, he looked down to the bed where he could actually see his protege. “alright, kid, what’s up?” 

“nothing, mr stark-”

“we’ve known each other for the better half of a decade and you’re really gonna whip out mr stark on me now? drop the formalities, pete. you’re not hanging from your ceiling, you haven’t left your room since you came back from rescuing that dog downtown-- you haven’t even eaten anything!” tony said, throwing his hands up in the air.

“first of all, you still call me kid.” peter mumbled into his elbow crease. tony shrugged at that. “and actually, i got a burger while i was out.”

“oh right, i can see the headline now: friendly neighborhood spiderman grabs a big mac with dog in hand.” the older man’s tone grew less welcoming as the sentence ended. upon realizing this, he sighed. “listen to me kid, something’s wrong with you and i’m here to find out what it is. you weren’t even happy to see the fucking dog. talk.”

peter frowned and placed his arms down by his sides, turning his head to the door to look at tony. “i-” he couldn’t find the words inside him, so he just closed his mouth after a few moments. he closed his eyes and breathed heavily out of his nose, and then he felt a dip at the end of his bed. he opened one eye, but didn’t look at the other man.

“tony, i don’t know what’s happening.”

they both paused. “you’re, what, twenty one now? older? isn’t it a little late-”

“no! god, no, no. please, don’t. i don't need to go through that again.”

“okay, sorry.” tony looked at him, reading his face to see what he could pick up, if anything at all. “is it a girl?”

peter could’ve sworn he felt his brain short-circuit right then. “uhh… no…” he trailed off.

“ooh! what’s her name? is she smart? does she like science? does she know?” tony jumped up, grinning at the possibility of him having a cute little crush.

“no..." peter furrowed his brow, debating whether he should tell the truth. his inner monologue told him, fuck it. "it’s a... it's a guy.”

tony widened his eyes, but the grin was still plastered on his face. peter’s one open eye followed him as he walked around the room.

“that’s fine! are you gay? are you bisexual? some other thing that the kids keep talking about that i’m too old to know about?”

peter shrugged in return. “i don’t know. all i know is that i really like him.” he opened his other eye and pushed himself up into a sitting position.

“ooh, i was having a little discussion with a friend recently. a little birdie told me that wade’s pansexual!” tony turned around and beamed at him. “you know what that is?”

the air in peter’s lungs felt like they had been knocked right out of him with the mention of his name. a blush crept over his cheeks.

“okay wait, do you even know who wade is ? deadpool guy, red suit, bad mouth.” he paused. "had it out for him a while ago maybe you remember that." he stifled a laugh.

“yeah, i do. we… we’re friends.” peter mumbled. wade was pansexual? his brain had gone from oh fuck! to OH FUCK! in a matter of seconds. he liked guys too? oh god, this actually gave him a chance, an actual chance with him! okay, all i need to do is impress him and do stuff to make him fall in love with me! i could make him a suit- wait no, he wouldn’t want it… i could take him to dinner? jeez, no, peter, WAY too obvious… fuck, there has to be something i can do to make him like me! peter was lost in his own thoughts, staring up at a mark directly above his head from where he always webbed the ceiling. ...oh god, is this too creepy? am i being creepy?

“pete? hey, pete! you listenin’?” apparently he had zoned out for a moment, completely ignoring what tony was saying to him.

“oh, yeah, sorry. wade. pansexual. likes guys. and girls too. yeah.” his voice trembled slightly and he prayed that it wasn’t that obvious. “gotcha.” he coughed awkwardly and fumbled with his hands, making sure to avoid direct eye contact with tony.

“yeah! if you want, you can go talk to him about it. i’m sure he wouldn’t mind giving you some advice about swinging for the other team. okay, sorry, bad analogy. i just wanna be supportive." tony stood in front of peter's desk, eyes skimming over mementos of the past and photos of him in high school. he smiled to himself, remembering what peter was like back then. he never showed it too much, but one of the most special places in his heart was reserved for that intelligent young man, who tony could proudly say he watched grow up. "you know, i could... call him in for you right now-”

“NO!" peter yelled, grimacing. "i mean, uh, no, thanks, dude, but i… i’m good.” peter visibly cringed at himself. “you really don’t need to do that tony. i’m sure wade won’t help much.” he added a nervous laugh to the end of the sentence to make it seem more genuine, only to immediately regret it. tony paused in place and stopped fumbling with one of peter’s old knick-knacks in his hand. he was silent, then he burst into laughter.

“oh, oh my god! peter, no way!” he keeled over, grabbing his knees. “peter, you like wade?! wade wilson?! god, you have such- such poor taste!” he wheezed, eyes screwed shut in a loud laugh.

“shut up!” he threw his head back against his headboard and whined, covering his face. tony continued to laugh, pretending to wipe tears from his eyes. “if you don’t stop laughing i’m gonna web you until you get out of my room!” peter's grumbling caused his laughter to die down and he rested his gaze on the small frame lying curled up against the bed.

“oh, you really like him?” tony asked, his voice softening.

“yeah, i do.” peter sighed, stretching out his legs. “i really do.”

“now that, that’s cute. i’ll go call him and set the two of you up now. bye!” tony got up and rushed out of the room and peter bolted upright.

“no you will NOT! oh my god!” peter screamed, leaping across the room to web tony’s hand to the nearest wall. “i hate you!”

“love you too, kid!”