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You Think Ghosts are Scary? You've Clearly Never Lived with One!

Chapter Text

Evan Hansen had been friends with Connor Murphy since freshman year. The two suffered through all of the pain of high school together. Senior year was a turning point for Connor. He just felt horrid, and eventually…he broke.

Connor took his own life two weeks before he started college. He went to the abandoned orchard, climbed the tree where Evan had broke his arm a year prior, and watched the sun set. After the sun was gone…Connor took the whole bottle of pills he had brought with him. Connor didn’t want Evan to suffer with him anymore. He deserved better. Connor climbed down to the ground before the pain started. Once it did, Connor cried until there was nothing left of him.

It’s better this way. Everything will be better this way. Bye Evan, see you in the afterlife!

-=-

Evan got the call that Connor was missing three hours later. He was finishing his packing when Cynthia called in tears. Evan rushed out to his car and went searching for his friend.

Evan happened to go to the orchard first and went to the tree that the pair usually sat under when they skipped school. Evan cried when he saw the body. His best friend was dead, his face blue, and sickly pale. Evan should have seen it coming.

Next to Connor was his hoodie, it was folded up nicely and on top of it was a folded sheet of paper. Connor had written a note.

Dear Evan Hansen,

Hey man, I don’t know how to word this. I’ve never gotten to this point. I just want to be free, ya know? I get that this will be hard for you, I do. Just, don’t think that it was your fault, don’t think that you should have seen it coming and that you should have tried to stop me in some way. You didn’t see it coming, because I never told you. You couldn’t have stopped me, I planned this while you were busy. I’m sorry Ev, but just know that I’m free now, and I’ll see you again someday. You tried your best, but I was broken in ways that no one could fix. Remember that I’m still your best friend, and I still love you Ev, even if I’m gone.

Sincerely, your best and most dearest friend(wink, wink),

Me

PS: Keep the hoodie, something to remember me by!

Evan wiped his eyes and called 911. When they came to take the body Evan had the note in his pocket and the hoodie around his waist. He had already called Cynthia and she was going to meet him at the hospital with Zoe. He rode with an officer to the hospital, but Evan knew it was too late for Connor. He finally was free.

-=-

Connor sat up with a jump. It didn’t work. Damn, he thought it would. Connor looked around and noticed that he was in a hospital. But…why wasn’t he in a hospital bed? He was sitting in a chair in the waiting room. He heard a stuttering voice and turned, Evan was here?

Connor stood up and walked over to his friend. No one seemed to notice that he was moving around. Connor saw Cynthia and Zoe as he came closer. Shit, they were probably pissed with him. When he walked over, they didn’t even look at him. Connor turned to Evan, but Evan didn’t give him any attention either.

“Evan, what the hell is going on” Connor called, reaching to put a hand on his friends shoulder.

Connor jumped back as his arm went right through Evan’s body. What the hell? Connor looked at his hands and gasped. He could see them, but he could also see through them. So it did work? Was Connor dead? Connor thought that everything would be white until someone else he knew was dead, not just…here. He was still here, on earth, but no one could see him.

When Evan turned to leave Connor followed. He finally noticed that he was floating, and not just standing there. Connor couldn’t watch his mom cry over him dying. Evan wasn’t crying, he looked like he had been, but wasn’t anymore. Connor just felt inclined to follow him. Why not haunt his best friend?

Connor followed Evan into his car. Connor sat on the passenger side as Evan drove home. Evan still hadn’t noticed him, he probably never would. Connor didn’t like not being able to talk to Evan, so he examined himself.

Connor was wearing a grey t-shirt like he had back at the orchard. He was wearing everything he had been at the orchard, but it looked cleaner. His hoodie wasn’t on him, obviously because Evan had it, and it made him feel naked without it. But, who would care? Connor was a ghost now. As Connor looked at his arms he frowned. All his scars were gone. This was not expected. Any scar on him was gone. It was weird.

Connor floated behind Evan as he parked his car and walked into his home. Heidi was working nights at the time so she wasn’t home. Evan looked pretty numb as he went back to his room to finish packing. Connor remembered being told that Evan was going to go to a few community college classes while he worked to earn enough money be at an actual college. Evan had found a nice apartment that he was going to move into a few days later. Would what Connor did stop him?

Connor watched Evan pack and went to floating around the house as his friend showered. Connor didn’t mind being dead. It was nice, he felt…light. Connor felt, not happy, but content. It was nice. He didn’t feel hungry, he didn’t feel sick, Connor felt fine.

Evan had fallen asleep by the time Connor phased through the door and into the room. He felt drawn towards his hoodie that was sitting on top of Evan’s pile of boxes. Connor floated above Evan as his friend slept. He didn’t want to leave Evan, but it was the only way to be free.

“I’m sorry Evan” Connor whispered. “I’m sorry I put you through this, but things will get better soon. I told you that I’d be there for you even after I was gone, and I am. I’m staying with you no matter what Evan”.

Chapter Text

Evan thought that the next month went by with not much joy. Evan didn’t like his job, he didn’t like how far his apartment was from home, and he didn’t like knowing that Connor was gone.

Evan was almost never home anymore. He had class or work constantly. He smiled when he remembered that his own mother was in the same situation. Weekends were the only time Evan relaxed. He usually walked around town for an hour on Saturday mornings before lounging around for the rest of the day.

One particular evening, Evan was watching The Office on Netflix after eating a healthy dinner of Ramen Noodles. Evan was stretched out on his couch and enjoying his time when he heard someone groan in annoyance.

“I hate this episode” the voice cried out. “Evan, watch something else please! Seriously, I can’t believe this is all you watch”!

“Who said that” Evan jumped.

“No fucking way” the voice gasped. “You can hear me”?

“Connor” Evan whispered. “Is that you”?

“Who else would it be” Connor asked. “Do you have any other friends”?

“Where are you” Evan called out. “I can’t see you”.

“I’m floating above your head” Connor stated. “I guess you can’t see me yet”.

“Yet” Evan repeated. “Did you go to some ghost class”?

“Nah” Connor muttered. “I woke up in that hospital and found you. I just ended up following you home and stuck with you. I noticed that I’m bound to the hoodie I gave you. I can’t leave the apartment unless you have it. And frankly, you never wear it. So…I’ve been sitting here, watching each day go by. It’s boring as hell, but at least no one is depending on me”.

“So you’ve been with me for the past month” Evan squeaked. “And have just been playing creeper”?

“No” Connor scoffed. “I go where the hoodie goes. I said I’d always be with you Evan, so I’m here. I’ve just kind of accepted the fact that I’m bound to stay here forever. You are super boring by the way”.

“Thanks” Evan muttered. “So, are you just haunting me”?

“Basically” Connor sighed. “I’ve started picking stuff up…kind of. I dusted your whole apartment yesterday by blowing all the dust out the window”.

“That’s really cool” Evan nodded. “Thanks”.

“Are you okay” Connor asked.

“No” Evan whispered. “My best friend is haunting me. I’m working crazy hours along with school, and I feel like I’m slowly going crazy”.

Evan buried his head in his hands and tried not to cry. Evan sensed something move closer. He felt a figure wrap him in a hug and Evan cracked. Evan returned the hug and felt the tears silently fall.

“At least you can feel me” Connor mumbled, his voice wobbly. “I’m hugging you”.

“Why did you do that Connor” Evan sobbed. “What happened”?

“There is nothing you could have done Ev” Connor stated. “I’m sorry”.

“Me too” Evan nodded.

“I didn’t want to die Ev” Connor mumbled. “It was the only way”.

“I know” Evan choked out. “I swear I would look crazy is someone walked in right now. I’m sobbing my eyes out to my dead best friend while hugging said dead friend. I look like I’m touching nothing. What the hell is this”?

“I think I’m pushing the air around me so hard that it feels like I’m there” Connor chuckled. “I don’t even like hugs. Evan, what did you do to me”?

Evan let go and smiled. He hadn’t laughed in a long time. Evan looked around, trying to place Connor’s voice.

“Where are you” Evan muttered. “I can’t see you, this sucks”.

“I’ve got this” Connor announced. “I’ll be back in a minute”.

Evan didn’t know where Connor went, so he just sat and waited. Evan nearly screamed as Connor’s hoodie came flying at his face.

“I noticed that I have a bond with the hoodie” Connor’s voice said. “If I touch the hoodie, I can make it phase through things like I do, that’s how I got it out here since I can’t open doors. I can physically touch this, it’s not me moving air like when I dusted the house or hugged you. I once tried going outside by putting the hoodie on, in hopes that having what I was bound to with me, I could come and go as I wanted. Let’s just say that it didn’t work”.

“So…what does this lead to” Evan asked.

“I can touch the hoodie” Connor sighed. “So I can wear the hoodie. Thus, if I wear the hoodie, you get an idea of where I am”.

Evan watched the hoodie float off his lap and watched as it went onto Connor’s invisible body. Evan could still see the sweatshirt, and when Connor zipped it up, it was like his torso was back.

“Creepy floating hoodie” Evan mumbled. “Works for me”.

“Great” Connor chuckled. “Now, pick something else to watch. I’m sick of The Office”.

-=-

Conner was ecstatic that he could talk to Evan again. The two worked out a system of sorts. Connor would float around the apartment on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, Evan put on the hoodie so Connor could go with Evan to work or class. When Evan went to class, Connor was able to fly around the entire campus without being held back by the hoodie.

Weekends were a nice thing for Connor. Evan would wear the hoodie and go out for a walk that took up most of the day. Connor would come with and ask Evan if they could go to specific places. Mainly the art museum in town because Connor loved art.

Sundays were the day that the two friends just lounged around. They usually spent time doing random things, like seeing how all the dust in the apartment looked in one big ball, or watching TV. Connor usually kept the hoodie on when the pair were home so Evan could look Connor in the, not the eye, but facial area.

One particular boring evening, Connor had been waiting for Evan to get home for longer than normal. Evan was almost never late. Connor, being the concerned and evil ghost thing that he was, decided to get revenge.

Connor, for some reason, could change the temperature in the apartment without touching the thermostat. Connor used his “abilities” to make the apartment freezing in the kitchen. Once the kitchen window had a good layer of frost, Connor wrote a message on the window.

When Evan came through the door, he instantly walked into the kitchen, because that’s usually where Connor was waiting. But today, Evan stopped dead at the message, and quite possibly the cold.

Evan Hansen,

You are now cursed with the ever living presence of death, prepare for ghosts to be around every corner.

Sincerely,

Hela, the Goddess of Death

Evan backed up slowly until it dawned on him what had actually happened.

“Connor” Evan growled.

Connor burst out laughing from his hiding place near the ceiling. Man that was worth it. Connor lowered himself onto the counter and kept laughing. Connor didn’t stop until he noticed that Evan was staring at him. Connor wasn’t wearing the hoodie, but Evan was looking him dead in the eyes.

“You can see me” Connor gasped.

“It’s really transparent, but yeah” Evan smiled.

“Freaky ghost powers are improving” Connor cheered. “Let’s get wasted”!

“Connor” Evan chuckled. “I’m not old enough to buy alcohol, and you’re dead, you can’t drink anything”.

“This is still the best thing ever” Connor mumbled.

“I’m not going to disagree with you” Evan smiled. “But we should celebrate”.

Connor heard footsteps coming towards the kitchen and he vanished. No one needed to see him. Connor scowled ad Jared Kleinman walked in.

“Hey Evan” Jared called. “Were you talking to yourself”?

“Going over study notes” Evan lied. “What are you doing here Jared? How did you get in”?

“The door was unlocked” Jared laughed. “Also, your mom asked me to check in on you, something about you not visiting. I figured that I could stop by and make sure that you weren’t dead. No need for another Connor Murphy incident”.

Connor only saw red. He wanted to fucking kill Kleinman. He almost showed himself but Connor looked to Evan. He looked hurt. Evan walked over to the table and made a motion with his hand. Connor floated over and “held” Evan’s hand as Evan took care of Jared.

“Connor was my best friend” Evan whispered, he sounded so sad. “I had to find his body. I saw my best friend lying there dead. You think that it was his fault that he committed suicide? He was in need. I tried to help him, but it wasn’t enough. So I have to deal with that pain, knowing that I will always feel somewhat guilty for what happened. You can’t just play it off as a joke. Jared, you’re an asshole”.

“I didn’t mean it like that” Jared rushed. “It just slipped out. I made fun of him for years, it’s just habit”.

Connor felt something shift. He was standing where Evan was. God, it hurt to stand like that.

Connor?

Evan?

What happened?

I don’t know, but it hurts.

Get Jared out of here now, I can’t talk.

Okay.

“Thanks for stopping by Jared” Connor said through Evan’s body. “Tell Mom that I’m fine, I will try to call soon, and I’ve just been busy”.

Connor started walking towards the door while pulling Jared along. Connor shoved Jared out and closed the door. Connor managed to lock the door behind him and turned back to the living room. With a jolt of pain, Connor came flying back out of Evan’s body and flipped through the couch. Connor floated back over towards Evan and frowned. His friend didn’t look well.

“That hurt so badly” Evan groaned.

“I haven’t felt pain in over a month” Connor nodded. “I don’t know what just happened. But besides the pain, it was actually really cool”.

“I’m sorry” Evan mumbled.

“Why are you sorry Evan” Connor asked. “You didn’t do anything”.

“I don’t know” Evan sighed. “But, you’re trapped here all the time, you probably get bored here all day. I don’t know what to do. You can only go so far when I’m at work, and doing the same thing every single day has to be tiring”.

“No, not really” Connor smiled. “I don’t sleep, I’m never tired”.

“You know what I meant” Evan chuckled. “I feel bad for shoving Jared out”.

“You shouldn’t” Connor protested. “He’s an ass. He thought that you were gonna off yourself like I did. You would never do that”.

“Right” Evan nodded. “Should I be brave and order pizza”?

“You call them, since I can’t grab things, and I’ll talk” Connor offered. “Then you can stand at the door with me creepily floating above you”.

“Sure” Evan laughed. “That works for me”.

-=-

An hour later Evan was eating pizza while watching Punisher on Netflix. Connor had never hid that he was a Marvel fan, but he wouldn’t openly mention it. Evan never was into all the hero shows and movies when he was in high school, but bonding with a ghost is one way to do it.

“Hey Evan” Connor called. “Next week Infinity War comes out, will you go see it and let me follow you”?

“Yeah” Evan nodded. “I wish we could get a way for you to do something while I’m gone”.

“Just turn on the TV before you leave” Connor suggested. “You’ve got the voice remote, I can change the channel from that. I just can’t turn on the TV”.

“We can try that Monday” Evan stated. “Why are you drooling over my pizza”?

“Evan Hansen” Connor gasped. “I’m a fucking ghost. I don’t eat, I don’t breathe, I don’t have bodily functions, I don’t sleep, but I can smell. So I smell your pizza and instantly want it, but I can’t even pick it up, all I can do is watch you eat it”.

“Sorry” Evan mumbled.

“It’s not your fault that I’m dead” Connor stated. “SHIT! Frank, what the hell man”?

Evan looked back at the TV and watched Frank start to bleed out. Damn, this guy was tough. Evan closed the pizza box and put it into the fridge. Connor was looking at him with curiosity.

“You okay Ev” Connor asked.

“I’m just tired” Evan lied. “I had a long day at work. You can keep watching, I’m gonna crash until you finish”.

Evan flipped off the lights and flopped down on the couch. He grabbed a throw blanket and covered up with it before turning down the volume on the TV a bit and closing his eyes. Evan felt his head move and he looked up, Connor was putting Evan’s head in his lap.

“Sleeping with your head on the arm of the couch will hurt your back” Connor explained. “I’m honestly just pushing air around me so I seem to have a solid form, I’m not going to interrupt you anymore”.

“M’kay” Evan yawned. “Night Connor”.

“Night Ev” Connor responded.

Chapter Text

Connor Murphy hadn’t cared about much when he was alive. He cared about Zoe, in a very strange way, and he cared about Evan. Connor loved his mom, but she didn’t understand. Larry could have been the one to die and Connor would have been okay, Larry didn’t care that much about Connor either…but back to Evan.

The pair had met the first day of high school. Connor had broken down over some idiotic comment from a teacher and he felt horrible about it. At the time, Connor never wore hoodies, his hair was short, and he kept a B average in school. Granted, high school is where Connor’s fall into madness started.

Connor was still considered crazy back in freshman year because in second grade he threw a printer at his teacher. People said it was about him not being in line first and it was slightly true, but it was mainly because his teacher had it out for him. If someone did something wrong in class, it was Connor’s fault. Everything was pinned on Connor, so when his teacher didn’t let him be line leader it was the last straw. Connor didn’t even hit the teacher with the printer. He missed by a yard, but Ms. G had to be a bitch and call his parents. Man he hated her!

On the first day of school, while Connor was hiding out in a bathroom stall during lunch after MS. FUCKING G, who was moved to the high school, snapped at Connor for being unrefined and impolite, he heard the door open. Connor silenced his crying and waited for the person to leave. He saw some worn out looking sneakers standing outside the door. What now.

“C-Connor Murphy” a voice called. “Are y-you alright”?

“Fuck off” Connor growled.

“I-I saw what Ms. G did to you” the voice continued. “It w-wasn’t cool of her. I’ll be at the l-last table on the right s-side of the cafeteria if y-you want to talk about it. I’m Evan b-by the way. Evan Hansen”.

Evan turned and left while Connor took in what he said. Connor didn’t ever have friends to talk to. No one liked him as it was. Connor knew Evan was in a similar situation, he only hung out with Kleinman, and it seemed forced. Connor decided to wipe his eyes and take up Evan’s offer.

Evan was sitting alone. Connor took the seat next to him and Evan smiled. Connor smiled back and took an apple out of his pocket.

“Hi” Connor mumbled.

“H-Hey” Evan stuttered.

“So…are we going to talk” Connor asked.

“If you want” Evan nodded. “I don’t have a-any f-f-friends, so this is all n-new to me”.

“I’ll see” Connor sighed. “For now, we can just both pretend to have friends”.

=

The two were inseparable from that moment on. They hung out all the time, any time they could. When Connor got into smoking, Evan just ignored it. When Evan had a panic attack, Connor tried to help, he wasn’t that great at it…but he tried. Everything was okay when the two were together. The world just worked out alright.

And then Connor killed himself, his only note going to Evan and only Evan.

-=-

Connor and Evan shared everything with each other. Connor told Evan that he was gay, Evan told Connor that he was bi. But Connor didn’t know how to talk to Evan about being a ghost. Or you know…the fact that Connor fell in love with his best friend, when he is DEAD.

Connor was currently watching Punisher, because Marvel is life, while Evan slept with his head in Connor’s lap. Connor tried to pay attention to the show, but Evan was too damn adorable. The way he was so relaxed, his hair, everything. Connor noticed the fondness for his friend a week prior. Connor had been watching Glee while Evan ate some pasta he had made. Since Evan couldn’t see him at the time, he was wearing the hoodie so Evan had an idea of where he was.

Connor, being the ghost that he is, floated above the couch so Evan could watch without having a floating hoodie in the way. Connor had glanced down at Evan and smiled at the way Evan had kept the bowl close to his face so he could eat without looking down. That’s when it hit him.

“You’ve got to be kidding me” Connor whispered.

“What Connor” Evan asked, looking up.

“Nothing Evan” Connor lied. “Just…no one likes Rachel for a reason”.

“Yeah” Evan nodded. “I get that”.

Connor had spent the whole night thinking about what was going on with him. Could ghosts have feelings for others? Connor thought they could, but then again, he had never been dead before. God, why did he have to off himself before realizing this?

Connor finished the episode before moving Evan’s hand to the remote and turning off the TV. Connor could interact with Evan, but not objects. Being a ghost wasn’t that great, he was dependent on Evan for almost everything. And Connor didn’t need much.

Connor somehow picked Evan up and floated him to his bedroom. Thankfully the door was open so Connor could get inside with Evan. Connor laid Evan down and left the room. He couldn’t close the door. Connor usually spent the night watching the apartment below because he could stick his face through the floor and see the next family. Tonight though, Connor just practiced making himself invisible and visible again.

A grunt caused Connor to stop. What was going on? Connor floated over to Evan’s room and watched his friend. Evan was having a panic attack in his sleep. How did that work?

Connor flew over and “grabbed” hold of Evan. He was never good at this. Connor decided that waking Evan up was the best bet.

“Evan” Connor called. “Evan Hansen, wake up. Ev, come on. Wake up”!

Evan’s eyes snapped open and his breathing went wonky. He looked at Connor and stopped squirming.

“Breathing exercises” Connor whispered. “In four count, hold six, out four. Damn it! I can’t even breathe, in four, hold six, out four. Come on Evan”.

Evan listened to Connor’s words and soon his breathing was under control. Evan sat up and Connor floated a foot back, Evan needed space.

“When I saw you I thought I was crazy” Evan mumbled. “I forgot I could see you now. I haven’t had a panic attack since finals at school in May. Damn”.

“Evan” Connor called. “Why did you have a panic attack”?

“Umm…”

“Come on Evan” Connor groaned. “We tell each other everything”.

Except I now have a crush on you, because that would be weird since I’m dead.

“Remember when I broke my arm” Evan asked.

“Yeah” Connor nodded. We were at the tree. You slipped and fell from the branch you were on. I was ahead of you”.

“I didn’t slip”.

“Evan…”

“I let go”.

“Evan” Connor cried. “Why didn’t you say something? Tell your therapist or something. You could have died. You can’t let yourself get that low”!

“You’re a fucking hypocrite” Evan snapped. “You’re dead. You killed yourself Con. Now you’re stuck with me and my horrible apartment, just because I can’t let you go”.

“I don’t want to leave Evan” Connor laughed. “You treat me like I’m human. Yeah, I’m dead, but what was I worth? Who would have cared? You obviously, but my family? They got over it so fast. I was nothing to Larry, my mom didn’t understand me, and I ruined Zoe’s life. I don’t mind being here because you treat me like I’m still alive. Just over an hour ago you offered me a slice of pizza, I can’t even eat…but you offered, because I mean something to you. I actually matter to you”.

“You’re my best friend Connor” Evan whispered. “Of course you matter to me. I’m sorry for snapping, but you deserve to know the truth. I haven’t felt like that since the tree, so I’m not completely lost”.

“Alright” Connor nodded. “We good”?

“Yeah” Evan smiled.

Connor thought that Evan still looked shook. Connor, being the friend that he is, left the room while Evan showered. Connor hated night time, no one would talk to him, and Connor didn’t sleep. Connor went to floating in a circle in the kitchen while the night droned on.

“Connor” Evan called.

Connor perked up and flew to Evans room. Connor poked his head through the door and smiled at Evan. He had changed into a pair of maple tree patterned pajama pants that Zoe had given Evan as a gag gift the Christmas prior.

“What’s up Ev” Connor asked.

“I uh…fuck, I…never mind”.

“Evan James Hansen” Connor gasped. “Are you embarrassed to tell me something”?

“That’s not my middle name Connor” Evan laughed.

“What’s wrong” Connor poked.

“It was stupid, sorry I bothered you” Evan mumbled.

“Let me guess” Connor drawled. “You are still shaken that you had a panic attack, thus you want your ghostly friend to stay with you so he can scare all the creatures of the night away”.

“Not the wording I would use” Evan chuckled. “But yeah”.

“Sure” Connor smiled. “I’ve got nothing else to do”.

Connor came all the way through the door and floated above Evan’s head.

“Okay, that’s just creepy” Evan mumbled, climbing into bed. “Just sit down”.

Connor nodded and sat at the foot of the bed. Evan was soon asleep and Connor started moving around the room. A notebook was on the dresser and it had Connor’s name on it. Why did Evan have it?

Connor used his air pushing ability to open the book and looked at the page. He recognized the date from when Evan broke his arm. Evan had suggested earlier in the week that he write things down to help him feel less stressed. He had lent Evan the book so he could see his progress and Connor just never got it back from him. Connor decided to read what Evan wrote in the book, just because he wanted to know what was going on in his head, not his dumb crush.

Cover Story for Mom When she Returns 6-2-17

End of May or early June, this picture perfect afternoon we shared. Drive the winding country road, grab a scoop at A La Mode and then we’re there. An open field that’s framed with trees, we pick a spot and shoot the breeze like buddies do. Quoting songs by our favorite bands, and telling jokes no one understands except us two. And we talk, and take in the view.

All we see is sky, for forever. We let the world pass by, for forever. Feels like we could go on for forever this way. Two friends on a perfect day.

We walk awhile and talk about the things we’ll do when we’re out of school. Bike the Appalachian Trail, or write a book, or learn to sail. Wouldn’t that be cool? There’s nothing that we can’t discuss, like girls we wish would notice us but never do. He looks around and says to me “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be”. And I say “Me too”. And we talk, and take in the view. We just talk and take in the view.

All we see is sky, for forever. We let the world pass by, for forever. Feels like we could on for forever this way, this way. All we see is light, for forever. Cause the sun shines bright, for forever. Like we’ll be alright, for forever this way. Two friends on a perfect day.

And there he goes, racing towards the tallest tree. From far across the yellow field I hear him calling “Follow me”! And there we go wondering how the world might look from up so high. One foot after the other, one branch then to another. I climb higher and higher, I climb until the entire sun shines on my face.

Then I suddenly feel the branch give away. I’m on the ground. My arm goes numb. I look around, and I see him coming to get me. He’s coming to get me, and everything’s okay.

All we see is sky, for forever. We let the world pass by, for forever. Buddy you and I, for forever this way. This way.

All we see is light. Cause the sun burns bright. We could be alright, for forever this way. Two friends, true friends. On a perfect day.

Sincerely,

Me

Why would Evan write a fake letter about how he broke his arm? Oh yeah, he let go.

“Evan” Connor whispered. “If you were going to write a fake note to your mother, don’t make it rhyme”.

Connor floated over to Evan again and sat down on the opposite side of the bed. Evan rolled over and his nose bumped into Connor’s leg, well, it went through Connor’s leg.

“I am fucked” Connor chuckled.

-=-

Evan yawned loudly when he woke up. He opened his eyes and blinked. Why didn’t his alarm wake him up? Evan shot up and glanced around. Connor was floating above him again.

“Did you turn off my alarm” Evan cried.

“I can’t touch things” Connor protested. “But, yeah…I did”.

“How did you do it” Evan asked.

“I grabbed your hand and used it to turn off the alarm” Connor explained.

“Why would you do that” Evan muttered. “I’ll be late for work now”.

“No you won’t” Connor chuckled. “Your boss texted you at like…four. He said that some inspectors were coming in today and that you didn’t have to come in. There wouldn’t be anything for you to do”.

“Oh” Evan mumbled. “Thanks”.

“Any time tree boy” Connor grinned.

Evan pulled himself out of bed and frowned. He always had an easier time not being anxious when he was tired. That explained why he didn’t put on a shirt last night when he changed. Now though, Evan didn’t like being seen shirtless with his friend.

Evan didn’t have a problem with how he looked. Evan was in pretty good shape, he was nowhere near Chris Evan’s body, but he had muscle. Evan’s problem was that Connor was always like that too. This was one of the only times Evan saw Connor without his hoodie on, and that’s because he despised it now. It kept reminding him that he was dead, and couldn’t travel anywhere without it.

If Connor was going to be like that, so was Evan. That’s how things worked. Evan pointed to the door and Connor floated out. Evan walked to his dresser and frowned. What was the notebook doing open. It was flipped to the page about his arm. The lie he told his mom and everyone at this point. Evan closed the notebook and put it in a drawer. Evan grabbed a light blue polo shirt and kakis before changing.

Evan walked out of his room while pulling on his socks. Connor was waiting patiently in the kitchen. Evan smiled to Connor before grabbing a box of cereal from the cabinet.

“Can I ask you a weird question” Evan asked.

“Go for it” Connor smiled.

“Does your hair get messy” Evan questioned.

“Umm” Connor blanked. “I don’t need to brush it. I think it just…resets itself when it gets messy. It’s weird”.

“Yeah” Evan nodded.

“Okay, my turn to ask a question” Connor announced.

“What’s up” Evan grinned.

“I know this is super selfish of me” Connor started. “And you don’t have to say yes. Because you put up with me as it is, and that must be a pain since I’m dead and all that, But-”

“Connor” Evan interrupted. “Whatever it is, I don’t mind. You’ve been nothing but nice, I don’t mind you being here”.

“Okay” Connor nodded. “I want to know if we can go to my parent’s house. I know that it sounds weird since I haven’t mentioned them since being here, but I just want to see how they’re holding up”.

“Of course we can go” Evan smiled. “I’ll get ready, and we can go home for the weekend. I haven’t visited my mom in a while as it is”.

“Thanks Ev” Connor grinned. “And before you ask, I know I can’t let Heidi see me”.

“Okay” Evan chuckled.

Chapter Text

Connor followed Evan as they walked to the Murphy home. Connor had to stay invisible at all times in case someone saw him. When Evan knocked on the door, it was Zoe who answered. Didn’t she have school?

“Evan” Zoe greeted. “Come in. We don’t have school today, so I got to stay home. I thought you were working”.

“Inspectors came in today” Evan explained. “No work to do”.

Connor let the pair talk and he flew to his room. Connor walked around the room and smiled softly at the memories. From the look of things, no one had been inside his room since Connor had died. Connor’s duffle bag was packed for college that he would never attend. Connor jumped back when he was actually able to open the bag. Maybe he could interact with items that he owned?

Inside was the necessary things. Clothes, a blanket, toiletries, things of that nature. Connor emptied the bag of things he didn’t need any more as a ghost and flew around the room. Connor had a theory.

Connor grabbed a red t-shirt from the duffle bag and examined it. Connor peeled off his grey shirt that he had been wearing for over a month, but never got dirty, and threw on the red one. The grey shirt became solid again and the red one went transparent like the rest of Connor.

I can change! I never thought I would be so happy for this!

Connor grabbed a pair of blue skinny jeans, Connor only owned skinny jeans, and did the same. God, it felt amazing to be in different clothes. Connor packed up a reasonable amount of clothes, but not enough that Cynthia or Larry would notice when they cleaned out his room. Connor left the blanket in the bag because it was a gift from Evan the Christmas of freshman year. It felt weird to be leaving everything all behind. Connor shook his head and went back to the task at hand.

Ten minutes later Connor had a duffle bag filled with things that Connor could actually make contact with and simple necessities. Oh, Connor also had a grey hoodie on and it felt like heaven. Not that cursed black one. But a comforting grey.

Connor had also gone into his bathroom and grabbed his makeup, yes he wore makeup. It was only small stuff, like eye shadow and mascara, but Connor loved doing that kind of stuff. Connor had found his bag of nail polishes and put that into the duffle as well. His nails had been naked for ages now.

Connor had found his phone, it was disconnected, go figure, and it was dead. Connor grabbed the charger and put that into the bag too. Now Connor could use Evan’s shitty Wi-Fi and mess around during the day. Oh yeah, Connor took all his art stuff. Pencils, books, paints, everything.

Connor had closed up the bag when he remembered Zoe and Cynthia. Connor grabbed a pen and paper and started writing.

Zoe and Mom,

I don’t know how to word this except I’m sorry. I can’t take this anymore. I’m sorry for being a shitty brother and son, and I’m sorry for being a mess. I just need you to know that nothing will stop me. You need to know that there is nothing you can do, I’m just too far gone.

Please don’t dwell on me. I’m not worth the pain. I love you Zoe, I may have been a dick all my life, but I love you. Mom, I love you too, also sorry about being a dick to you. It wasn’t attention seeking, it was pain. I just wanted help. Evan tried his best but…he couldn’t fix me.

I know that Evan will blame himself, just…try to remind him that it’s not his fault. Evan’s my best friend, I don’t need him dwelling over it either.

Larry, I have one thing to say to you. GO FUCK YOURSELF! IF ANYONE SHOULD BE BLAMED IT’S YOU, YOU ASSHOLE!

Mom, Zoe, I love you. I just want to say it one last time. In an hour I’ll be gone. No longer a pain to you, no longer a failure son. I’ll be able to let go. So, please, just remember me as Connor. Not “son” or “brother” just Connor.

Love you still,

Connor Murphy ☼

Connor folded the paper and placed it on the floor near his bed. Connor was ready now. Connor took his bag and made himself invisible, the bag fading with him. Connor flew out of the room and went downstairs. Cynthia had come into the room while Connor had been gone. Connor floated over to Cynthia and embraced her. She didn’t sense it, he wasn’t making himself “solid” like he did with Evan. He did the same with Zoe and flew behind Evan. He tapped Evan’s shoulder three times as a signal.

“Thank you for having me over Cynthia” Evan smiled. “I appreciate it”.

“Of course Evan” Cynthia nodded. “Come by again sometime”.

“Bye Evan” Zoe grinned.

“Bye Zoe” Evan waved. “Good bye Cynthia”.

Evan walked out the door and looked around.

“I’m still here” Connor stated. “Just hiding from my neighbors. I have the most amazing news”.

“What” Evan asked.

“I found a way to get out of that horrid grey shirt” Connor laughed.

“I thought dark and brooding was your style” Evan joked.

“Seriously Evan” Connor snorted. “At school yeah. Me trying to look cool around you, absolutely. But my wardrobe at home consists of a rainbow of color. I might have stolen some of my clothes back so I can feel more humane”.

“That’s fine Connor” Evan stated. “I don’t mind”.

“Good” Connor chuckled. “Because my death will now not be a boring groundhog day”.

“I’m glad Con” Evan nodded. “Let’s get back to my mom’s before she finishes work”.

Evan started running and Connor flew alongside him. Once the pair were at Heidi’s home Connor showed himself. Evan smiled that annoyingly cute smile of his and Connor could practically feel his non-beating heart melt.

Connor flew off to hide the bag in Evan’s room before coming back down to chill with Evan. Evan seemed happy to be home, Connor was just glad that he could spend his immortal days with his best friend.

-=-

Evan was definitely fucked. He hadn’t noticed it until that day but it was clear as day now. Evan had a crush on his dead best friend. Sure, Evan always thought that Connor looked nice, they were friends, and he was supposed to think that. But Evan didn’t realize it was attraction.

The way that Connor lit up over being able to wear his red Marvel logo shirt made Evan’s heart swell. His friend was excited over a shirt in the most nerdy was possible. It was annoyingly adorable, and Evan knew it was wrong.

Connor was dead. He just had this ghost form that Evan spent all his free time with. It really bothered Evan that he couldn’t say anything. Connor would freak out if he knew how Evan felt.

“What the fuck Evan? I’m dead, how could you say that you creep”?

Evan just brushed everything about those feelings aside. He didn’t need that on his mind.

“Evan” Connor called. “You zoned out on me bro”.

“Uh, sorry” Evan croaked. “Just, thinking”.

“When do you think Heidi will be home” Connor asked.

“I don’t know” Evan mumbled. “Hopefully soon. I feel bad for not talking to her much. And I practically threw Jared out yesterday”.

“That was me” Connor recalled. “Kind of”.

“You know what I meant” Evan laughed.

Evan heard Heidi’s car pull into the driveway and he looked to Connor. Connor nodded and vanished. Heidi walked in the door and stopped dead at seeing Evan.

“Honey” Heidi squealed. “You’re here”!

Heidi ran over and enveloped Evan in a hug. Evan returned the hug and could feel himself relaxing.

“Hi Mom” Evan chuckled.

“How long are you staying” Heidi asked. “How has work been? Did you make any friends? Gosh, your hair is getting long. How’s it been going without therapy”?

“Until Sunday, good, kind of, I realized that, fine”.

“Kind of” Heidi questioned. “What does that mean”?

“I, uh, I’ve been talking to my neighbor” Evan mumbled.

“That’s good” Heidi smiled. “What’s their name”?

“Oh, uh, his name is uh, Murphy” Evan lied.

“Murphy” Heidi nodded. “What’s he like”?

“Kinda emo” Evan chuckled. “He has a tough shell, but once you know him, he’s really nice”.

“He reminds me of Connor” Heidi sighed.

“Yeah” Evan laughed. “He has a similar hair style. I told him about Connor, it was nice to have someone listen”.

“I’m glad that you’re talking to people” Heidi grinned. “How about I order us Thai food and while it gets delivered I cut your hair”?

“Sounds perfect Mom” Evan nodded.

The mother and son went into the kitchen. Evan sat on a barstool and watched Heidi grab her phone. She ordered the pair dinner while she grabbed the electric razor and a towel. Heidi wrapped the towel around Evan’s shoulders and started cutting her son’s hair.

After Heidi finished, Evan went to shower while his mom waited for the delivery person to arrive. When Evan walked in his room he felt like he was in high school again, but better. Except, you know, Connor was dead, but Evan could still talk to him…so…it’s okay?

“Heidi seems happy” Connor noted.

“She always is” Evan smiled. “She just gets happier when I talk to people”.

“Yeah, it’s not like your possibly crazy and I’m just a figment of your imagination” Connor laughed.

“You aren’t” Evan stated. “You’ve talked to people on the phone for me. You ordered me pizza yesterday”.

“Yeah” Connor nodded. “But, now I have my phone”.

“What” Evan hissed. “Connor, NSA could see you if you turn it on. What will we do”?

“Cover the camera with tape” Connor shrugged.

“Okay” Evan sighed. “I’ll cover the camera with tape, then you can use your phone.  Just let me shower first”.

Connor nodded and Evan walked into  the bathroom. He took a quick shower and quickly came back to his room. Evan took Connor’s phone and put tape over both cameras and handed it back. Connor plugged his phone in and smiled to Evan.

“Go talk with your mom” Connor ushered. “I’ll delete all my social media, or put in your log in and mess around for a while”.

“Okay” Evan nodded.

“Wait, Evan” Connor called. “Your mom changed the Wi-Fi password, what is it”?

“Actually I changed it” Evan mumbled. “It’s HHSMBAMF”.

“What the hell does that mean” Connor asked.

“Heidi Hansen, Single Mom, Badass Mother Fucker”.

“Got it! Now, go be with Heidi”.

Evan smiled and walked downstairs. Heidi was closing the door when he arrived and she handed him a bag. They pulled out all the food that Heidi ordered and they dug in. Heidi asked him annoying mom questions and Evan answered. It was nice having his mom back. They hadn’t done this since before Connor died.

After they ate, Heidi made Evan watch a NCIS with her. Evan, once again, had never watched it and Heidi went on about her love for the show. It was like Connor and Marvel, but Heidi and a show about cops and science.

-=-

Connor and Evan went home on Sunday. Evan had spent the weekend apologizing to Jared and catching up with Zoe. Connor followed him everywhere and watched. It was better than sitting around at the Hansen house.

When the door opened and Evan walked inside Connor flew to the empty closet and put his bag down. He loved being able to do stuff. He played on his phone, he could brush his hair, and wearing different clothes every day was a dream.

“I’m just telling you that Zoe has a crush on you” Connor mumbled.

“I don’t like Zoe like that” Evan protested. “She’s great, but I don’t like the idea of her dating me. I mean, I’m your best friend, you died, and now I’m dating your sister? That would be so wrong. Also, I can’t legally date Zoe since she is a minor. I don’t want to as it is”.

“Alright, I won’t play matchmaker” Connor laughed.

I would never let her date you. I’m into you too, why would I?

What do we do for the rest of the day” Evan asked.

“I don’t know” Connor sighed. “Maybe we could-”

A door slammed down the hall from Evan’s apartment. Evan opened the door and looked around. Connor made himself vanish and looked with him. From the look of things it was Michael, the neighbor two doors down from Evan.

“I wonder if Michael is okay” Evan mumbled. “He usually seems so happy”.

“Go check on him” Connor shoved. “Actually talk to the guy, he seems awesome”.

“That’s because he’s a stoner” Evan chuckled.

“GO” Connor commanded. “Leave the hoodie”.

Evan untied the hoodie from his waist and tossed it on the couch. Evan walked out the door and Connor floated around. What now?

Connor looked at the date and nearly screamed. In two weeks it would be Halloween. Connor loved Halloween with a passion. It was once of the few things Evan didn’t know about Connor, because he usually kept his excitement at home. Connor flew around the apartment but couldn’t find any decorations. Evan was so lame.

Connor heard the door open and Evan came walking through the door with a crying Michael. Connor vanished again and watched the two.

“Do you want to talk about it now” Evan asked.

“Okay” Michael nodded. “My best friend, Jeremy, he wasn’t cool in high school. I thought he was, but no one else did. He wanted to be cool so badly, so he took this pill from Japan that was illegal. It made Jeremy cool. But the thing that made him cool, a Squip, it tried taking over our school. After things calmed down, Jeremy went to get the Squip removed, but he didn’t survive the surgery, and everyone else with a Squib did. He’s gone. His dad, he’s crushed. He gave me Jeremy’s sweatshirt. I couldn’t take the pain. He’s my best friend. Now he’s gone. And I know it sounds farfetched Evan, I do, but I’m not lying”.

“I believe you” Evan stated. “My best friend Connor, he died about a month and a half ago. He committed suicide. I was given his hoodie. He wrote his suicide note to me, I just couldn’t believe he was gone. Now, I just am trying to not blame myself. It’s hard some days, but I know that Connor wouldn’t want me blaming myself, so I try not to”.

“Damn dude” Michael chuckled. “That’s rough. Thanks for letting me talk. I appreciate it”.

“Sure thing” Evan smiled. “Do you want to stay for dinner”?

“Yeah” Michael nodded. “I’d like that. We exposed the assholes that were making the Squip. They were shut down, so at least they won’t be coming back again”.

“That’s good”  Evan grinned. “You left your slushy at your place. I hope you don’t mind leftover pizza”.

“Sounds perfect” Michael grinned. “I’ll be back in a second”.

Michael walked out the door and Connor showed himself again. Evan took out the pizza from the fridge and put it into the oven.

“That was nice of you Ev” Connor chuckled. “He seems like a good guy. But, why isn’t he in school? And why doesn’t he live with his parents”?

“Michael moved out three months ago” Evan recalled. “He just did, beats me why. He is still in school, but they shut down for a week because of the trauma. Jeremy died, so they shut the school down”.

“What school does that” Connor asked.

“Beats me” Evan shrugged. “Michael is 18, I’m sure he can handle it”.

Michael walked back in and Connor flew to Evan’s room to sit on his bed. He decided to let the two talk. Connor was messing with his phone when he felt someone watching him. Connor turned around and nearly screamed. Some person was floating above him. Another ghost?

“Who the hell are you” Connor asked.

“You can see me” the boy gasped. “I’m Jeremy Heree, and I think I’m dead”.

“So you’re Jeremy” Connor nodded. “I’m Connor Murphy, also dead”.

“But, you look solid” Jeremy whispered. “I can barely see myself. I don’t know how I got here. I just woke up on that couch in the other room and Michael couldn’t see me. I tried leaving but I can’t”.

“Michael has your sweatshirt around his waist” Connor explained. “You’re bound to it. I’m bound to a hoodie. I’m guessing you just died today. I died over a month ago”.

“Why can you see me” Jeremy asked.

“Because I’m dead”?

“Oh” Jeremy nodded. “Can you help me”?

“I’ll try Jeremy” Connor stated, floating up. “But, Evan can see me. Michael can’t see you. Maybe I should get him”.

“Okay” Jeremy sighed. “I’ll follow you”.

Connor went to make himself vanish, but he realized that he already was invisible. Apparently other ghosts could see each other. Connor floated through the door and went behind Evan. He tapped Evan’s back three times and waited. Evan got the signal.

“Can you check on the pizza Michael” Evan asked. “I’ve got to check to see if my essay is done”.

“Sure” Michael smiled.

Evan walked into his room and Connor showed himself again.

“Jeremy turned into a ghost” Connor explained. “I can see him, but you can’t. He just woke up, and I don’t know what to do since he’s bound to his sweater thing”.

“What” Evan hissed.

“I’ve got an idea” Jeremy mumbled. “You can be seen, if I touch your arm, maybe he can see me”.

“Might as well try” Connor sighed.

Jeremy touched his arm and Connor watched Evan make eye contact with him.

“I’m Jeremy Heree” Jeremy greeted.

“Evan Hansen” Evan nodded. “We have to tell Michael. It’s better that he gets a warning that Jeremy will be back in his life soon”.

“Soon” Jeremy asked.

“It took a month before Evan could hear me” Connor mumbled. “And it took another two weeks for him to see me. I’ve only been visible since Friday”.

“Oh” Jeremy mumbled. “Let’s tell Michael”.

Connor made the pair vanish and Evan walked over to Michael. Michael was sitting at the table with the pizza box in front of him.

“Hey Evan” Michael smiled. “How about we eat”?

“Michael” Evan whispered. “Remember how I said my friend Connor was dead”.

“Yeah”.

“He came back as a ghost” Evan stated. “And he’s been haunting me since. Jeremy did the same thing. He’s here, as a ghost”.

“Dude” Michael frowned. “What are you on”?

“He’s not on anything Michael” Connor stated, showing himself. “Evan’s been dealing with my shit for a while now”.

“How the fuck are you floating” Michael cried.

“He’s dead” Jeremy whispered, grabbing Connor’s arm so he could be seen. “So am I”.

“Jer” Michael gasped. “How did you…”

“I’ll explain everything as best as I can” Evan rushed. “But, it gets kinda crazy”.

“You can say that again” Connor laughed.

-=-

Michael and Jeremy left that night. The two seemed to understand that it might be awhile before they could communicate, but Jeremy could control temperature like Connor could, so the two would use that to communicate until Jeremy had his voice again. Evan flopped down on the couch and Connor floated above him. Why did he have to have a crush on Connor?

“Fucking hell” Evan muttered, sitting up.

“What’s wrong Ev” Connor asked.

“I’ve got work tomorrow” Evan lied. “Want to watch Punisher”?

“Yes” Connor grinned.

Connor sat down next to Evan and the pair continued watching the show. Evan stole glances at Connor and noticed that he seemed more solid than before.

“I think you’re more solid” Evan mumbled.

“Huh” Connor frowned. “Try putting your arm through my shoulder”.

Evan pushed his hand through Connor’s shoulder and it took about five seconds for it to pass all the way through.

“Guess I am more solid” Connor shrugged. “Maybe I’ll turn completely human again”.

“You always seem less visible when you float around” Evan noted. “I think it’s just because you aren’t playing ghost above my couch.

“Yeah” Connor sighed. “You’re probably right”.

Connor turned back to the TV but Evan couldn’t focus. He was always bad at keeping his emotions inside, unless they were negative, then he was fine. But, Connor looked adorable, and it was practically hurting him.

“Ev” Connor called. “I think you zoned out again”.

Evan blinked for a moment before pushing his insecurities aside and brought his lips to Connor’s.

I’m going to regret this in two seconds.

Chapter Text

Connor was frozen. Evan was kissing him. Evan fucking Hansen, his best friend, was kissing him. Fuck, what now? Evan pulled back and stood up.

“Sorry” Evan mumbled, walking away.

Don’t let him get away!

Connor flew ahead of Evan and dipped the shorter boy into a kiss. Evan wrapped his arms around Connor’s neck and responded to the kiss. Fuck, this was happening. Then Evan fell to the floor because he slipped through Connor’s arms. Damn it ghost body!

“Ouch” Evan whispered.

“Are you okay” Connor asked, helping him up.

“I’m great” Evan laughed.

“Can I be honest with you” Connor asked.

“Yeah” Evan smiled.

“I’ve been crushing on you for over a week and it’s been slowly killing me” Connor confessed.

“You’re already dead” Evan noted.

“Shut up Hansen” Connor muttered. “You know what I meant”.

“Fuck” Evan muttered. “I thought that I shouldn’t say anything, because you’re dead, I’m not. It’s just…”

“Weird”?

“Weird” Evan confirmed.

“Are we good” Connor asked. “Because I really like you, and if I don’t have an answer it might destroy me”.

“You can’t be destroyed” Evan laughed. “You’re dead”.

“Answer me Evan”!

“Yeah” Evan smiled. “We’re great”.

Connor smiled and looked over to Evan. Evan just stood awkwardly and looked at the floor.

“We’re bad at this” Connor chuckled.

“You can say that again” Evan sighed.

“Evan” Connor called. “You can look at me”.

“I know” Evan mumbled. “I’m just awkward, and this is weird”.

“Oh my god Evan” Connor grinned. “You’re so bad at this”.

Connor stepped over to Evan and put a hand on his cheek. Evan smiled softly and looked up. Connor kissed Evan again and this time when Evan started to slip Evan adjusted his arms so he didn’t fall.  Connor backed the pair into Evan’s bedroom door and Connor frowned.

“Evan, open the damn door, I can’t do it” Connor growled.

Evan found the handle and opened the door. The pair stumbled through and Evan kicked the door shut behind him. Connor peeled off his shirt and Evan did the same. It was weird, since Connor was dead, but Connor really didn’t care because he loved Evan and that’s all that mattered.

“Fucking socks” Evan huffed, kicking his socks off. “Connor, take off your boots”.

Connor listened to Evan and decided to just take his pants off too. Evan followed Connor’s lead and soon the pair were a tangled mess.

You know that this means that I’ll always be top, right” Connor laughed. “If it were you, you would fall through”.

“You talk too much” Evan mumbled, catching Connor’s lips again.

Connor shut up and just continued with Evan. It was amazing, being with Evan. Connor started leaving marks on Evan’s neck and worked his way down.

“Evan Jon Hansen” Connor grinned. “Will you do me the honor of being the first man to have sex with a ghost”?

“Like I could say no” Evan chuckled. “And that’s not my middle name”.

-=-

Evan groaned at hearing his alarm. He didn’t want to go to work. Evan silenced the alarm and sat up. Connor was watching him.

“I wish I could sleep” Connor whispered. “It would help pass time”.

“So you sat there all night watching me sleep” Evan asked.

“No” Connor mumbled. “Sometimes you would roll into me and I’d cuddle with you. But, yeah, I just watched you. In my defense, you are adorable when you’re asleep”.

“Aw, thanks” Evan grinned.

“You are so much more confident than I thought you would be today” Connor laughed.

“Oh no” Evan chuckled. “On the inside I’m screaming at myself right now. Arguing weather we should have slept together or not, why it was wrong, everything”.

“It wasn’t wrong” Connor stated. “Weird as fuck, yeah, but not wrong”.

“Okay, yeah” Evan sighed. “Now out, I need to get ready”.

“We slept together Evan” Connor cried. “Quit being shy”!

“Put some clothes on Connor” Evan commanded.

“Fine” Connor mumbled.

Connor flew out of the room to get dressed and Evan went to finding his own clothes. He slept with his dead best friend, what the fuck. Evan walked out of his room and found Connor floating in the kitchen. Connor smiled at Evan and landed on the floor.

“I don’t know why” Evan started. “But when I pictured you as a ghost, I thought I would finally be taller”.

“Sorry” Connor sighed. “I’m a tall ghost. Evan, are you sure you’re okay with…whatever is going on between us”?

“Yeah” Evan smiled. “I am”.

“Because you can’t tell anyone about me” Connor rushed. “I’m dead to everyone you know. I’m dead, fuck…I’m dead”.

Connor buried his head in his hands. Evan put down his bowl and embraced Connor.

“I never really thought about it like I was dead” Connor whispered. “I pushed it aside. I’m dead Evan, I keep playing it like I’m some super cool roommate but I’m just dead. I’m not even human anymore”.

“But you are a super cool roommate” Evan joked. “You don’t eat anything, you don’t annoy me, and you fly. I wish I could fly, but I can’t. I’m sorry Connor”.

“Do you think we would have ended up like this if I hadn’t killed myself” Connor asked.

“We’ll never know” Evan mumbled. “You good”?

“I’m good” Connor nodded. “Sorry”.

“Don’t be” Evan smiled.

Evan went to making breakfast while Connor watched. Evan motioned for Connor to sit and he thankfully listened. Evan sat down next to him and grabbed Connor’s hand, lightly because if he squeezed his hand it would go through.

“I’m not sure if I want to come with today” Connor said. “I think I want to stay here”.

“That’s fine” Evan nodded. “I don’t mind”.

Evan washed his dishes and went to grab his shoes when he heard a knock on the door. Evan opened it to see Michael storming into the room.

“You okay” Evan questioned.

“I don’t understand Jeremy” Michael cried. “I need Connor to translate”.

“Translate what” Connor asked.

Evan watched as Connor had a conversation with Jeremy.

“Okay…yeah I get it… Really, that sucks…Okay, got it”.

“And” Michael drawled.

“He says he wants you to stop eating coffee grounds” Connor started. “He wants you to not blame yourself, and he wants you to comfort his dad”.

“All that for a don’t blame yourself moment” Michael cried. “Evan, where are you going”?

“I’ve got work” Evan explained, heading out the door. “Michael, Jeremy, stay around for today, Connor can translate for today, just…don’t destroy my apartment. Connor’s been keeping it clean for me”.

“Bye Ev” Connor called.

“Bye Connor” Evan yelled.

Evan went down to the garage and drove off to work. He really hoped that his apartment would be okay.

-=-

Connor had Michael close the door and looked between the two. Jeremy was floating by the couch, and Michael was sitting on it.

“If only we had a way to speed up Jeremy’s ghosting” Connor mumbled.

“Wait, I saw this in a movie once” Michael grinned. “Connor, you pass down some of your ghost energy to Jeremy, and it brings him forward”.

“When was that movie made” Connor snorted. “The 80s”?

“Exactly” Michael grinned.

“It’s worth a shot” Jeremy sighed.

“I don’t want to lose what I have” Connor cried. “I like being able to talk to Evan. I like Evan making eye contact with me, it’s weird when he is looking at my chin instead of my eyes”.

“Oh fuck” Michael gasped. “You slept with Evan”.

“What” Connor muttered. “No”.

“Don’t try to lie to him” Jeremy chuckled. “He always knows”.

“Jeremy just told you not to lie” Michael smirked. “I don’t have to hear him to know it”.

“Alright, fine” Connor caved. “I slept with Evan”.

“And” both asked.

“And it was amazing” Connor confessed.

“Congrats” Michael grinned.

“Change of subject” Connor announced. “Now you know why I don’t want to boost Jeremy. Also, we have no clue if it would work”.

“Can we at least try” Jeremy asked. “If anything starts, we could stop”.

“Okay” Connor groaned. “Jeremy, come closer my friend”.

Jeremy floated over and Connor took his hand. He had no clue what to do.

Transfer power? Abracadabra? Jeremy, take my fucking ghost energy you asshole?

Connor felt a shock in his hand and flew back. What the fuck?

“Shit” Jeremy cried.

“I heard him” Michael laughed. “Connor, you okay”?

“I’m dizzy as fuck” Connor mumbled. “But, yeah I’m good”.

“You don’t look any different” Jeremy mumbled.

“I’m just gonna put this out there” Michael grinned. “Jeremy, you are practically clear, but I can see you”.

“Really” Jeremy grinned.

“Yeah” Michael grinned. “Why are you wearing a hospital gown”?

“That’s what he died wearing” Connor explained. “Get him some of his own clothes, he’ll be able to wear them”.

“Not that Squip induced shit though” Michael warned. “Jeremy Heere clothes”.

“Right” Jeremy nodded. “Can I make myself invisible again”?

“Yeah” Connor answered. “You just have to think about it”.

“Okay” Jeremy smiled. “Thanks Connor”.

“We’ll be back soon” Michael called. “We’re going to head to Mr. Heere’s house”.

The two left and closed the door behind them. Connor sat down on the couch. His head was killing him. Why was he even hurting? He’s dead, he shouldn’t feel pain.

“What the fuck” Connor groaned.

Then he passed out.

-=-

Evan walked through the door and set his shopping bag down. He had grabbed Halloween decorations since he didn’t own any.

“Connor” Evan called.

Evan heard a groan of pain and went to the other side of the couch. Connor was lying on the floor.

“Connor” Evan cried. “Hey, wake up! You’re dead, how’d you pass out”?

“Fuck off” Connor coughed. “I need space to breathe”.

“You don’t breathe” Evan noted.

“Evan” Connor muttered. “Please”.

Evan scooted back and watched Connor sit up. He looked white as a sheet, and he couldn’t see through him.

“Fuck Jeremy” Connor growled.

“What did Jeremy do” Evan asked.

“I don’t-FUCK! My head is killing me”.

Evan walked out the door and banged on Michael’s. The boy opened the door and smiled at Evan.

“What the fuck happened to Connor” Evan demanded.

“Is something wrong” Jeremy whispered.

“Okay, I can see that you are now visible” Evan sighed. “Let’s go”.

The three boys walked back to Evan’s apartment. Connor was sitting on the couch with his head between his knees.

“Dude” Michael gasped. “He looks like a vampire”.

“He looks dead” Evan cried.

“He is dead” Jeremy added. “I am too. But, Connor looks completely solid”.

“He is” Evan sighed. “What the hell happened”.

“Ghost” Connor groaned. “Jeremy. Pain. Will you all shut the fuck up? My head is killing me”.

“He gave me some of his ghost energy” Jeremy explained. “I-I didn’t know that this w-would happen t-to him. I’m so s-sorry Evan”.

“Not your fault” Evan shushed. “How do we fix him”?

“I’m gonna be fine” Connor whispered. “I just need some time to sleep”.

“You don’t sleep” Michael noted.

“I was just passed out cold on the fucking floor” Connor protested. “I can sleep. Just, stop worrying about me guys. I’ll be fine”.

“Should we go” Michael asked.

“Yeah” Evan nodded. “Thanks for coming over”.

Jeremy vanished from sight and went home with Michael. Evan turned back to Connor and watched as he lied down on the couch.

“I can’t let you sleep there” Evan mumbled.

“Fuck off Evan” Connor snapped.

Evan shook his head and picked Connor up. He was surprisingly light. He seriously felt like five pounds. Connor snapped back to his senses and flew out of Evan’s arms. He floated above Evan and frowned.

“You can still fly” Evan noted.

“Not now Evan” Connor moaned.

“If you’re going to sleep, sleep in my room” Evan pointed.

Connor flew over to the door and phased through it. So he could still do that. Evan walked in and watched Connor climb onto the bed. Connor shimmied under the blankets and went to sleep.

Evan walked out and closed the door behind him. Whatever was happening with Connor could be dealt with in the morning. Evan went to making dinner when someone knocked on his door. What now?

Evan opened up and stepped back. It was Evan’s uncle, Ray. His boss.

“Hey Uncle Ray” Evan greeted.

“Hey Evan” Ray smiled. “Look, I know this is going to be a weird timing, but Alice and I agreed that you deserve a promotion. Along with that, I have a letter from your dad”.

Uncle Ray held out the envelope and Evan accepted it.

“What does the promotion mean” Evan asked.

“You would get to work from home two days a week” Ray listed. “Preferably Tuesdays and Thursdays, and you would get a two dollar raise. You okay with that”?

“Yeah” Evan chuckled. “Thanks. I appreciate this”.

“You know I’m not the biggest fan of your dad” Ray mumbled. “What he did to you and Heidi was horrible. Whatever is in the letter, don’t let him get to you Evan. You’re a strong kid. You’ve lost so much and that makes you so strong. Don’t let my asshole brother hurt you again”.

“Thanks Uncle Ray” Evan mumbled. “I would ask you to stay for dinner, but I’m just boiling pasta, and you have Aunt Alice to get back to”.

“Right” Ray nodded. “I’ll see you Wednesday Evan”!

“Bye” Evan called.

Once Ray was walking down the hall Evan closed the door. Evan threw the letter on the ground and walked back to the kitchen. His dad wasn’t on his mind, nope, nothing there.

Once Evan had eaten, he crept into his room and went to shower before climbing into  bed next to Connor. He was out cold again, but he seemed more at ease. Evan pushed Connor’s hair out of his eyes and closed his own. He was tired of all the ghost shit, he just wanted Connor back.

-=-

Connor opened his eyes to see Evan staring at him. So this is how it felt. Connor felt better now that he had slept.

“Morning” Evan whispered.

“Morning” Connor mumbled. “I’m sorry I snapped at you yesterday, but I wasn’t right, whatever happened to me was painful, and I just needed space”.

“It’s okay” Evan shushed. “I’m not mad at you or Jeremy. I was just worried about you”.

“What are you still doing here” Connor asked. “Don’t you have work”?

“I got a promotion” Evan smiled. “And I get to work from home twice a week. Today is one of those days”.

“That’s great” Connor grinned. “I’m proud of you Ev”.

“Thanks” Evan mumbled.

Awkward silence passed between the two.

“Whatever you’re gonna do, just go for it” Connor stated.

Evan smiled at Connor and kissed him lightly. Evan went to pull away but Connor pulled Evan back and basically had Evan straddling him. Connor ran his hands along Evan’s back and felt him shiver. Evan would be the death of him, if he could die again that is. A knock at the door had Evan pulling away.

“Fucking hell” Evan muttered.

“Ignore them” Connor suggested.

“You know I can’t do that” Evan smiled.

“You better be back soon” Connor warned. “We aren’t done”!

“I know” Evan chuckled, heading to the door.

Connor lasted two minutes before getting bored with Evan’s game and poked his head out the door. Jared was back. Fuck. Connor went to turn invisible but he couldn’t.

What the fuck? I can fly, phase through shit, but I can’t be invisible? What kind of trade off is that?

“Jared, don’t go in there” Evan cried.

“Why not” Jared asked. “Unless Evan has a friend over? Did Evan Hansen, total virgin, get a fuck buddy”?

“No” Evan snorted. “Just, leave my room alone. It’s messy and I don’t need you in there”.

“Whatever Hansen” Jared drawled. “Nothing can stop me”.

Jared started towards the door and Connor flew up to the ceiling. Jared opened the door and walked in. Connor slipped out behind him and hid in the closet with his duffle bag.

“It’s not even messy” Jared laughed. “Why are you so shaken”?

“I’m not” Evan lied, walking away from the closet that Connor was in. “I just would appreciate a warning next time you stop in Jared. We aren’t even friends, why the hell are you here”?

“I’m just here because I’m in Jersey for the next few days” Jared explained. “Thought I would stop in to see my family friend”.

Connor had pulled on clothes in the time they had been talking. Morning sex was out of the picture at this point. Connor banged his arm against a shelf and bit back a scream. Why was he feeling pain all the time now?

“What the fuck was that” Jared demanded, striding towards the closet.

“A mouse” Evan mumbled.

“Mice don’t make muffled scream noises” Jared squinted. “Evan, what the fuck is happening.

“Evan Hansen” Michael cried. “How are you this fine morning”?

“Michael” Evan sighed. “What’s up”?

“Came to see you my friend” Michael grinned. “Who’s this fella”?

“This is Jared Kleinman” Evan explained. “Jared, this is Michael Mell, my neighbor.

Jared went to greet Michael and Connor slipped out of the closet. Connor spotted Jeremy floating in the kitchen and went over to greet him.

“We need to get Jared out” Connor hissed.

“How” Jeremy asked.

“Spook him” Connor whispered. “I can’t be invisible anymore, you go and ghost the shit out of him. Scare him out”!

“He’s leaving” Jeremy noted.

Sure enough, Kleinman was walking out the door. Michael nodded to Evan before walking out the door. Jeremy came flying after him, his bound sweatshirt still around Michael’s waist. Evan closed the door and sat against it. Connor came out to sit next to him.

“Fuck” Connor sighed. “Jared’s got to stop coming over. I can’t talk with you anymore”.

“Yeah” Evan nodded, locking the door. “Thank god he had class”.

“So…” Connor drawled. “About earlier”.

Evan just let out a sigh and climbed into Connor’s lap. Connor grinned and brought Evan’s lips to his own. He should say it.

“Evan Owen Hansen” Connor started. “I think I’m in love with you”.

“That’s not my middle name” Evan chuckled. “But, I think I’m in love with you too”.

“Great” Connor grinned.

Chapter Text

Evan was busy for most of the next two weeks. At work he was swamped, and when he was at home he was mainly doing math, which Evan hated. Evan’s uncle owned a shipping company. When Evan was working on sight, he was unloading, reloading, and cleaning out shipment crates. At home, he did the math for how much of everything the company sold. Evan wasn’t looking forward to much. Along with work, Evan was working hard in class to get the highest grades he could. Evan just didn’t have the time for much of anything anymore.

But there was Connor. Connor brought out the fun in Evan. Any spare time Evan had was spent with him. They did go see Infinity War, they both cried like babies, and they just spent time together like a couple would. Nothing was official between the two, but even Michael said it was high time to do so.

On the morning of Halloween, Evan woke up to humming. Evan cracked open his eyes and saw Connor sitting up in bed next to him painting his nails.

“Off the bed with that” Evan commanded.

“I’m not gonna spill” Connor chuckled.

“What day is it”?

“Saturday”.

“I’m going back to bed”.

“Night Ev”.

The next time Evan woke up it wasn’t the crack of dawn. Connor was out of bed, probably floating around the apartment or watching TV. Evan stood up and got dressed before walking into the living room.

“This is Halloween” Connor whispered from behind Evan.

“Jesus” Evan yelped. “Could you be anymore quiet”?

“I could have not spoke” Connor shrugged.

Evan turned to get a good look at Connor and smiled. He was wearing a purple t-shirt and black skinny jeans. He clearly had pale purple eye shadow on and his hair was up in a ponytail.

“I didn’t realize you liked Halloween this much” Evan laughed.

“I kept it at home so I couldn’t scare you” Connor shrugged. “Just felt like now it didn’t matter”.

“You could be obsessed with Christmas for all I care” Evan chuckled. “I don’t mind”.

“Oh yeah” Connor gasped. “You’re Jewish, I forgot”.

“What” Evan snorted. “I’m not Jewish. I just don’t celebrate holidays. We’ve talked about this Connor”.

“I am pretty sure I was stoned when you told me” Connor mumbled. “Sorry, old me was pretty bad at that”.

“It’s fine” Evan laughed. “I’ll celebrate Halloween with you. It’s your holiday now, since you’re a vampire ghost thing”.

“Just because if I’m in the sun for long periods of time and I start to burn doesn’t mean I’m a vampire” Connor whined. “I just have sensitive skin”.

“Whatever you say, long periods of time means ten minutes” Evan shrugged. “Zombie”.

“I am not a zombie” Connor cried. “Have I ate your brain yet”?

“Not yet” Evan drawled.

“Dear god” Connor muttered.

Evan walked into the kitchen and made toaster waffles before sitting down on the couch to watch The Nightmare before Christmas with Connor. Connor could now grab things with his solid form, which made things easier for the pair. Unfortunately, Connor was still bound to his hoodie, so he still couldn’t leave without Evan. Not that Connor left much, now that he couldn’t be invisible.

“Connor” Evan mumbled.

“Hmm” Connor hummed.

“Do you not like it here” Evan asked.

Connor paused the movie and looked over to Evan. He looked slightly confused and hurt.

“Evan” Connor whispered. “I love being here. I love having a simple life, death, whatever this is. I’ll admit I get bored sometimes, but I usually find something to do. I love being able to not worry about others. I love all of this Evan, the little bubble of a world we made that works for us? I love it. I love you too Evan”.

Connor kissed Evan lightly and Evan leaned closer. It was soft, but held all the words Connor didn’t say.

“I love you Connor” Evan murmured.

“Does this mean that we’re official” Connor asked. “Can I tell Jeremy that next time he asks so he gets off my ass about it”?

“Yeah” Evan grinned. “You can”.

“Michael wants us to come over before he and Jeremy go to a Halloween party” Connor warned.

“I never should have gave them a spare key” Evan muttered.

“They gave us one too” Connor recalled.

“Yeah, but you don’t come over every free moment you have” Evan noted. “You can’t even leave”.

“Oh no” Connor swooned. “I’m trapped in my boyfriend’s apartment. Whatever shall I do”?

“Idiot” Evan laughed. “At least we don’t have sexual tension the size of Texas”.

“Dear god” Connor muttered. “You’d think that Michael would make a move already, the poor guy doesn’t act on shit”.

“Worry about them later” Evan smiled. “Just watch the movie”.

“Okay” Connor nodded. “Hey Evan”.

“Yeah”?

“I love you” Connor whispered. “It just feels nice to say”.

“I love you too” Evan grinned.

“Get a room” Michael cried.

“How long have you been standing there” Connor asked.

“I walked in to hear you saying ‘Worry about them later’ and now I’m here” Michael stated.

“Okay then” Connor nodded. “Do we have to go over now? I’m watching a movie”.

“At noon my friend” Michael said. “So, you can watch your movie, but me and Jer are going to Christine’s party around three”.

“Okay then” Evan nodded. “Now get the fuck out”.

Michael left laughing and Connor wrapped Evan in a hug. Evan sighed and started playing the movie again. It was going to be a good day.

-=-

Connor was bursting with excitement. Jeremy and Michael were trying to get Evan high while Connor floated around the apartment. Michael’s was a bit bigger than Evan’s, he had two bedrooms for one thing. Evan was still being pestered with the two friends so when there was a knock on the door, Connor went to answer. He looked out the peep hole and saw a bearded man. No harm in answering. Connor landed on the ground and opened the door.

“Hello” Connor greeted.

“Connor” a voice cried.

Connor stepped back. That wasn’t a bearded man. It was Zoe. Connor went to close the door but Zoe shoved through.

“Hey, what’s going on” Evan stopped dead. “Oh, hey Zoe”.

“Evan” Zoe yelled. “What the fuck is this”?

“Okay, what the hell is the shouting about” Michael demanded.

“This is Zoe Murphy” Evan smiled. “Connor’s sister”.

“Dude” Michael whispered.

“How is Connor standing here when we buried his body” Zoe shouted.

“Can we take this somewhere else” Connor asked.

“Yeah” Evan coughed. “My place. We’ll see you later Michael”.

“Bye” Michael called.

Jeremy was invisible to everyone but Connor. He waved to Connor and the other teen nodded. Evan lead Zoe to his apartment, Connor in tow. Zoe was fuming with anger.

“Zoe” Connor whispered. “I’m sorry for what I’m about to do”.

“What do you mean” Zoe asked.

Connor grabbed Zoe’s hand and went into her mind. He wiped her of seeing him and   stepped back out. Don’t ask how he learned to do that, Michael deserved it. When Connor stepped out Zoe passed out. Connor caught her and put his sister down on the couch.

“What did you do” Evan cried.

“I wiped her memory of me” Connor answered. “She won’t remember it when she wakes up. Just tell her that she passed out from dehydration. She’s done that before”.

“Okay” Evan mumbled. “God, I thought you killed her”.

“I wouldn’t do that if I could” Connor chuckled. “I’m sorry, but she can’t know”.

“Why is her costume a bearded man” Evan muttered.

“That’s why I opened the door” Connor exclaimed. “I thought she was some random ass dude looking for Michael. Oh shit, she’s waking up. I’ll be in the bedroom”.

Connor flew off as Zoe woke up. Like planned, she didn’t remember the past five minutes. Evan gave her a glass of water and sat down with her. They talked for a few minutes before Zoe remembered that she had to meet up with Alana Beck for something. Zoe embraced Evan before running out.

Connor came out of the bedroom as Evan closed the door. Connor flopped down on the couch and frowned. Zoe clearly had a crush on Evan, and he almost exposed himself. He just wanted a normal Halloween with candy and costumes. Not this.

“What’s wrong” Evan asked.

“I can’t eat candy” Connor muttered. “It’s Halloween and I can’t eat candy”.

“Oh” Evan mumbled. “We can pass out candy if you want. I grabbed some, but I didn’t know if you would want to or not. Kids will start coming around soon, we could do it”.

“Really” Connor smiled.

“Yeah” Evan nodded. “No one knows who you are except Michael and Jeremy, what harm”?

“Zoe or Kleinman comes back” Connor noted.

“They won’t be here” Evan chuckled. “Jared’s got a boyfriend named Alex now, he’s with him. And I am pretty sure that Zoe is hanging out with Alana for the night”.

“It’s only two o’clock” Connor cried out. “How is that night Evan”?

“You know what I mean” Evan chuckled.

Someone knocked on the door and Evan checked it was safe for Connor before opening the door. Lori Willet and her son Chase were at the door. Lori and her family lived between Evan and Michael.

“Hey Evan” Lori grinned. “Is it too early for trick or treaters? Jesse took Sawyer around the corner.

“No, that’s fine” Evan chuckled. “We were about to get the candy ready. Connor, talk with Lori and Sawyer for a minute”.

Evan walked into the kitchen and Connor walked over to the mother and son. Connor loved the boy’s costume.

“So” Connor grinned. “Are you Hawkeye”?

“Yeah” Chase squeaked. “He’s so cool”!

“Do you like the movies” Connor asked.

“Of course” Chase laughed. “Hawkeye wasn’t in Infinity War, but he’ll be in the next one. Mom started crying when Spider-Man died”.

“S-Spoiler alert” Connor joked. “I’m kidding. I saw the movie. I cried when Loki died, its okay”.

“What about dying” Evan questioned, returning with the candy bowl.

“Spider-Man died in Infinity War” Chase babbled.

“I saw that” Evan nodded. “Pick out any candy you like Chase”.

Chase grabbed a Snickers bar and thanked Evan and Connor. He went to the next door over while Lori watched.

“I didn’t know you had a roommate Evan” Lori noted.

“I’m just visiting” Connor mumbled. “We’ve been friends for years”.

“I wouldn’t have made it through high school without you” Evan sighed.

“Mom” Chase cried. “Let’s go”!

“Oh, alright” Lori chuckled. “Bye guys”.

Lori took off down the hall with Chase and Evan handed Connor a sign. Connor looked at the sign and chuckled. ‘A ghost lives here, come talk to it for candy’ is what the sign read.

“I saw that and instantly thought of you” Evan smiled.

“Aw” Connor gushed. “Cheesy gifts already? Where am I going to find a tree sign”?

“Put it on the door so kids knock” Evan shoved.

“Yes Mom” Connor joked.

Connor hung up the sign and closed the door. Evan was walking back to the kitchen to grab more candy but Connor stopped him and kissed his boyfriend passionately.

“Why”?

“Because I can” Connor stated. “Also, you’ll end up eating candy when I can’t. I’m jealous”.

Evan started laughing and embraced Connor. Connor never liked hugs, even in high school or when he was little. But ever since they met, Connor allowed Evan to hug him, and Connor learned to love it.

Evan went to get more candy when someone else knocked on the door. Connor checked it was safe again before opening the door. Connor knew from hiding while Evan walked around that it was Jesse, Lori’s husband, and their other son Sawyer.

“Alright” Connor grinned. “Captain America shirt, shield, hat, and shoes. You’re Phil Coulson, aren’t you”?

“You’re the only one to get it right so far” Sawyer laughed.

“I know my Marvel characters” Connor chuckled. “Want some candy Sawyer”?

“Yes please” Sawyer nodded.

Connor held out the bowl and Sawyer grabbed a Twix bar. Connor put the bowl back as Evan arrived with more candy. Jesse nodded to Evan and pointed to Connor.

“New roommate” Jesse guessed.

“Connor’s just over for Halloween” Evan explained.

“Nice to meet you Connor, I’m Jesse” Jesse greeted, holding out his hand.

“Nice to meet you too Jesse” Connor smiled, shaking his hand.

Jesse waved to the pair before walking off with Sawyer. Connor closed the door again and looked to Evan.

“How long will this go on” Connor questioned.

“Communal trick or treating goes from two to four in the building” Evan answered.

“When we’re done can we go on a walk” Connor mumbled. “We’ve been inside all day and it looks so nice out”.

“Of course Connor” Evan murmured, stepping closer. “Whatever you want”.

Chapter Text

Evan held Connor’s hand as they walked. It was warm for the end of October, but since the sun was about to set it was the perfect time for the pair to go on a walk. Connor had a grey hoodie on to protect his arms from the sun and shuffled closer to Evan.

“You okay” Evan asked.

“My face burns a bit” Connor mumbled. “But I’ve never been better”.

“Do you want to head back” Evan questioned. “Because we can”.

“No” Connor protested. “We’re gonna go find a bridge and were gonna kiss on the bridge cause that’s what couples do”.

“What movies do you watch” Evan laughed.

“Action ones” Connor answered. “Let’s find a bridge”!

“Connor” Evan chuckled. “A park is easier. We’re walking through one right now”.

“There’s a bridge over there” Connor pointed.

Connor started running over and Evan raced to catch up. Once they were at the small bridge that passed over a stream Connor turned to Evan and pulled his hood down. Evan just shook his head and kissed Connor.

“Get a room” someone called.

Evan turned and smiled at Michael and Jeremy. Jeremy had become less transparent over time but he wasn’t changing like Connor had. He was still fully ghost. Jeremy was just practicing walking on the ground instead of floating everywhere.

“You two ruin everything” Connor whined.

“PDA is not okay” Michael protested.

“Sorry Evan” Jeremy mumbled. “We were at Christine’s party when my dad called Michael. Apparently he’s got a girlfriend, she lives about an hour away. Dad wanted Michael to meet her”.

“What’s her name” Connor asked.

“Heidi” Michael recalled. “She’s a nurse, but she’s training to be a lawyer”.

“Connor” Evan whispered. “Is it possible that it’s my mom”?

“What was her last name” Connor asked.

“Started with H” Michael nodded.

“I’m calling my mom” Evan muttered, pulling out his phone. “Hey Mom”!

“Hi honey” Heidi cheered. “I’m in Jersey right now. Could I stop by”?

“Are you dating someone with the last name of Heere” Evan demanded.

“How did you know” Heidi asked.

“Lucky guess” Evan mumbled. “Sure, come over. I’ll be there soon, I was on a walk”.

“See you soon honey” Heidi called. “Love you”!

“Love you too” Evan sighed.

Evan hung up and looked to Connor. He shrugged and started walking. He made a total of ten feet before the hoodie stopped him.

“Can I film this and put it on vine” Michael asked, as Connor tried to push past the barrier.

“Vine is dead” Jeremy laughed. “So is Connor”.

“Damn it” Michael muttered. “Well, have fun my friends. We’re off to 7/11”.

“Meaning I’ll drool over everything while Michael gets a slushy” Jeremy chuckled.

The two friends walked away and Evan jogged over to Connor. The pair walked back to Evan’s apartment building and waved at the doorman. Once they were on Evan’s floor the two checked that Heidi hadn’t arrived yet before opening the door and walking in. Connor flew over to the couch and pulled off his hoodie. His arms were burnt along with his face.

“How’s that for tomato face” Connor joked.

“I’ll grab the lotion” Evan mumbled.

Evan started rubbing lotion onto Connor’s arms and he winced. Connor was already peeling at his wrists.

“FUCK” Connor shouted. “That hurts”.

“Sorry” Evan whispered. “I thought you put sunscreen on”.

“I did” Connor muttered. “I had a sweatshirt on too. What the fuck”?

“Vampire” Evan grinned.

“Have I bit you” Connor asked.

“Yes” Evan answered.

“That doesn’t count” Connor whined. “And that time you were handing me french-fries while studying in May doesn’t either”.

Evan just laughed and went to Connor’s face with the lotion. He yelped again but Evan ignored it. When he finished, Evan kissed Connor’s nose and put the lotion away. Heidi knocked on the door and Connor went into the bedroom to hide. Evan opened up the door and welcomed his mother.

-=-

Connor fell asleep while waiting for Heidi to leave. He didn’t wake until the next morning, with Evan clinging to his arm. His arms were peeling from the sun burn and Connor shook Evan off and rinsed off his arms. It burned like hell, but his skin didn’t look flaky anymore. Connor went into the kitchen and stopped dead at seeing Jeremy floating around the room.

“Jeremy” Connor called.

“Hey Connor” Jeremy mumbled.

“What’s up man” Connor asked.

“My dad came to visit Michael” Jeremy sighed. “Michael brought the sweatshirt and left it here so I didn’t have to see him. Last time I saw him was when we got my clothes, and before that I was going into surgery. He looked so sad, I couldn’t deal with it”.

“Okay” Connor nodded. “I’d ask if you’re hungry, but we can’t eat”.

Connor walked to the closet with his bag and pulled out a set of clothes. He walked into the spare bathroom and changed before walking to the laundry room. Connor started a load of clothes and walked back to Jeremy.

“Why are your things in the closet” Jeremy asked.

“Because that’s where I put them” Connor answered.

“But…aren’t you and Evan sleeping together” Jeremy muttered. “I thought he would share”.

“Just because me and Evan are dating doesn’t mean we share everything” Connor shrugged. “It would be weird for me to do that anyway. But, the closet is a bit annoying. I’ll move it to under the bed later today”.

Connor walked into the living room and turned on Netflix for the ghost boys. Connor let Jeremy pick what they watched and they soon started up Daredevil season two.

Evan walked out half an hour later and nodded to Jeremy and Connor. He vanished into the kitchen before returning with a sandwich. Connor dropped the remote and went to retrieve it when he found a letter under the couch. It was addressed to Evan.

“I don’t want to read it” Evan muttered.

Connor shrugged and opened the letter himself. It was from Evan’s dad, which explained why he didn’t want it. Connor decided to read over it for Evan.

Dear Evan,

I know it’s been awhile. I wanted to talk to you in person again. I’ll be in New Jersey at Ray’s work the Monday after Halloween. I’ll talk to you there and maybe we can go out for lunch. I want to know you Evan, I just didn’t realize it back then.

Sincerely,

Dad

Connor crumpled the letter up and chucked it into the garbage can near the door. Evan sighed and leaned on Connor’s shoulder.

“What was that about” Jeremy asked.

“Parental issues” Evan muttered. “What did he want”?

“He’ll be at your work tomorrow” Connor answered. “He wants to talk to you and take you out for lunch. The fucking prick”.

“Can you come with” Evan asked. “I’ll sneak you into the building and let you fly around”.

“I can’t hide myself from security cameras” Connor noted. “What good would it do if I can’t not be seen”?

“I don’t know” Evan sighed. “I can’t miss work. Maybe I can call Ray”.

Someone knocked on the door and it opened before Evan or Connor could answer. Michael came into the room dancing with his headphones on.

“Jeremy, buddy how’s it hangin” Michael sang. “Early lunch was bangin. Had some sushi, got my slushy and more-”

“He does this a lot” Jeremy whispered as Michael sang.

“-Cause the girl at Sev/Elev gave me a generous pour” Michael continued.

“You’re listening to Bob Marley again, aren’t you” Jeremy chuckled.

“Oh I’m listening to Marley and the groove is hella gnarly” Michael belted. “And we’re almost at the end of this song…yeah that was the end now tell me friend. Ev, you look like ass. What’s wrong”?

“Parental issues” Evan repeated. “How was Mr. Heere”?

“A bit better” Michael nodded. “His girlfriend seemed to cheer him up. He shaved his beard off, it’s kinda scary”.

“I can’t believe that Heidi Hansen is dating the father of only other ghost I know” Connor grinned.

“Don’t remind me” Jeremy and Evan groaned.

“Ready to head back Jer” Michael asked.

“Yeah” Jeremy grinned, tossing Michael his sweatshirt. “Bye Evan, Connor”.

“Later” Evan called.

“Bye” Connor waved.

“See ya losers” Michael laughed, closing the door.

Evan turned to Connor and poked his cheek. Connor flinched at the touch and frowned at Evan.

“How’s your face” Evan mumbled.

“Sore” Connor answered. “Stupid sunshine. Why must I be allergic to you”?

“You don’t look red anymore” Evan noted. “Just a little pink”.

“Thanks Ev” Connor drawled. “And you have bed head”.

“My hair doesn’t reset every morning” Evan cried, standing up.

Connor followed Evan as he went to comb his hair. Connor started to pick at his nail polish as he watched Evan. It was a bad habit of his.

“What do you want to do today Evan” Connor asked.

“I just want to sit and watch TV with you” Evan answered.

“I can do that” Connor nodded.

The pair walked back to the living room and they both sprawled out on the couch. Evan on one end, Connor on the other. Connor tossed Evan the remote and they started watching Parks and Recreation.

-=-

What the fuck” Jared’s voice yelled.

Evan opened his eyes and stared at Jared. When did he get here? Connor shifted on the other side of the couch, he could sleep through almost anything. Wait…Connor!

“Jared” Evan cried, sitting up.

“Evan, what the fuck is Connor Murphy doing on your couch” Jared demanded.

Evan knew he wasn’t getting out of this. Evan poked Connor’s arm and he jumped awake. His arm was still hurting.

“What the fuck” Connor yelped. “Shit. Kleinman”.

“Murphy” Jared greeted. “I thought you were dead”.

“I thought the door was locked” Connor retorted. “Only one of us was right”.

“The door wasn’t locked” Jared muttered.

“I’m dead, asshole” Connor snapped.

“Clearly not” Jared laughed. “You’re right here”.

“I’m a ghost” Connor sighed. “I’ve been haunting Evan since I died”.

“Bullshit” Jared cackled.

Evan watched Connor calmly float off the couch and do a circle around the room before landing back on the couch. Jared stopped laughing.

“What the fuck” Jared whispered.

“I’m dead” Connor stated. “Now you know, so you can’t tell anyone”.

“What about your family” Jared cracked. “Zoe? Your parents? Hell, even Alana Beck misses you. Why not return to them? Why stay with Evan”?

“They’re the reason I’m dead” Connor shouted. “I was depressed. No one was helping me except Evan. So I killed myself. I downed a bottle of pills and died. Do you know how sad it was to wake up in the hospital and find your best friend and mother crying over your death? I can’t just move on. I’m still here, I’m stuck here. I’m just trying to make the best of the situation, and I’ve been doing pretty well. I’m a good roommate, I’m not the asshole that everyone thought I would be. Ask Evan”.

“I didn’t know he was here for a month” Evan surrendered. “Then I was able to talk to him. Two weeks later I could see him, now Connor has a solid form because of something him and another ghost did”.

“Did you fuck a ghost” Jared laughed.

“NO” Connor gagged. “Jeremy? Seriously? No, Michael can have him”.

“Wait” Jared stopped. “Jeremy? As in Jeremy Heere”?

“Yeah” Evan nodded.

“How’d you know him” Connor asked.

“His dad did work with mine for awhile way back when” Jared whispered. “I heard he died recently. He’s a ghost too”?

“Yeah” Connor confirmed. “The only other one I’ve seen”.

“Shit” Jared mumbled. “Evan, why not tell anyone”?

“Connor deserved the choice of being known” Evan responded. “I’ve just went with it. Two months later we’re here”.

“I think you should come home Connor” Jared stated. “Your family would keep you safe”.

“I’m better off here, thanks” Connor denied.

“What about Zoe” Jared asked. “She’ll be crushed if she doesn’t find out now”.

“I’ve already wiped her memory of me once” Connor whispered. “I don’t want to do it again”.

“What the hell Murphy” Jared cried. “You wipe people’s memories? Why not do mine so I forget this ever happened”?

“Because I’m tired of hiding from you” Connor sighed. “Remember when you were going to check Evan’s closet but Michael came in? I slammed my arm into a shelf”.

“Oh” Jared whispered. “This is stupid. Go home Connor, how is it better here”?

“I can’t leave” Connor grumbled. “I’m bound to a hoodie. I go where the hoodie does. My dad would probably burn the hoodie in hopes that I return to hell or wherever the fuck this ghost form came from”.

“Fuck, I can’t do this” Jared muttered. “I won’t talk, but you don’t drag me into your bullshit anymore Evan. I told you that hanging out with Murphy was a bad idea. Now you’re stuck with him for eternity”.

Jared turned to leave and Connor stopped him. Connor punched Jared in the jaw and gave him a death stare.

“That’s for calling me a school shooter and saying that I’m a bad person” Connor growled. “And this is for being there for Evan before I could be”.

Connor gave Jared a very awkward hug and pushed him out the door. Evan just stayed quiet. What the fuck? Connor closed the door and sat back down.

“What just happened” Evan squeaked.

“I have no fucking clue” Connor mumbled. “Just go with it. Now Kleinman knows I’m here, let’s hope that I stay under wraps”.

Evan nodded and went to cook lunch. Connor helped out and pushed Evan out when Evan started to drop things. Evan decided to call Ray.

“Hello” Ray cheered.

“Hey Uncle Ray” Evan greeted. “My dad will be at the site tomorrow”.

“What” Ray cried. “Jesus, alright. When will he be here”?

“I don’t know” Evan sighed. “He wants to take me for lunch, I don’t think I can handle that. What do I do”?

“Maybe ask a friend to come with” Ray offered. “It’ll be less awkward that way”.

“Okay” Evan nodded. “I’ll bring my friend Murphy over with me. Is that okay”?

“Yeah” Ray smiled. “I’ll see if he can help Alice with bookwork while we wait for him. See you tomorrow Evan”.

“Bye” Evan called.

Evan hung up the phone and went back to the kitchen. Connor had finished cooking and was already cleaning up. Evan started eating while Connor washed dishes.

“I never thought I would be happy to be able to do the dishes” Connor joked.

“Don’t be too excited Connor” Evan warned. “I might make you do them all the time”.

“I wouldn’t mind it” Connor laughed. “I went over a month and a half without being able to hold anything. Now I can do this”.

“My uncle wants you to help with bookwork tomorrow” Evan said. “So you can come with when my dad is there”.

“Okay, I like math” Connor nodded. “I don’t know why people always assumed I was dumb, I took all AP classes”.

“Something we’ll never know” Evan mumbled. “Let’s go bother Michael and Jeremy”.

“Why” Connor chuckled.

“They always bother us” Evan shrugged. “Why not return the favor”?

“You’re crazy” Connor laughed, drying his hands.

“You’re dead” Evan grinned. “I don’t think you should judge”.

“Alright, let’s go” Connor sighed happily.

Chapter Text

Chapter Eight

Michael Mell had been friends with Jeremy Heere for 12 years. Michael was crushed when Jeremy died, granted he came back mere hours later, but he was still dead.

Michael had few problems in his life. He got decent grades, he lived in his own apartment, and he never cared what other people thought. But Michael did have one problem in his life.

Michael was in love with Jeremy.

Michael had been in love with Jeremy for years. Like...since sixth grade. He was a junior in high school now! Michael didn’t know what to do. He was scared that Jeremy would hate him, since he just died and just got over his crush on Christine. Or as Michael liked to call her, Theater Bitch.

Safe to say that Michael did whatever he could to please Jeremy and make him happy. Michael took Jeremy everywhere and anywhere. Michael just tried to make Jeremy feel humane again, since no one else knew he was still there.

~

”Jere” Michael called one morning. “I know you’re up. You wanna head to school?”

”I’m not feeling up to it today Michael” Jeremy mumbled, phasing through his bedroom door. “My dad is probably subbing, and it’s his birthday. I haven’t seen him since we grabbed my stuff. And before that I was going into a surgery that would end up killing me. I can’t look at his face right now.”

”Okay Jere” Michael nodded. “Text me if you need anything, okay?”

”I’m dead” Jeremy sighed. “What could I need?”

”I dunno Jere” Michael chuckled, grabbing a bag full of coffee grounds.

Michael ran out the door before Jeremy could tell him to put the coffee down. Michael preferred eating coffee to drinking it.

Michael made his way to school and went to English. Sure enough, Mr. Heere was sitting at the desk.

”Happy Birthday Mr. Heere” Michael called.

”Thanks Michael” Mr. Heere smiled.

”Are you going out with Ms. Hansen today” Michael asked.

”She has a late shift today” Mr. Heere explained. “Then she has a class after it. We planned an outing for the weekend.”

”Okay then” Michael nodded. “I hope you have fun.”

Michael took his seat and listened to Mr. Heere explain some Shakespeare shit. Michael would never understand it fully.

After school Michael burst through the door and plopped down on the couch next to Jeremy. He had stopped at 7/11 on the way home to grab a slushy and some cheap sushi for dinner. Jeremy seemed tense. Michael wanted to hug the pain out, but that would scare Jeremy off.

”How was today” Michael asked.

”The usual” Jeremy answered, floating around the room.

”Your dad was subbing” Michael recalled. “He was going to go out with Ms. Hansen, but she had work.”

”That’s good” Jeremy nodded. “WAIT! That sounded mean. I’m glad they planned on going out. Not that she was busy. Damn it.”

”Its fine bro” Michael grinned. “They’re going out this weekend.”

”That’s good” Jeremy sighed.

”You okay Jere” Michel questioned.

”I’m gonna do something stupid” Jeremy blurted.

<_>

Jeremy had been dead for two weeks. He didn’t mind it, knowing that nothing could hurt him. The Squip was gone, no one would bully him, it was great.

Sure, Jeremy missed his dad, but what could Jeremy do? He couldn’t just talk to him anymore. But his dad wasn’t the big issue.

Jeremy had a raging crush on Michael.

Michael, the guy who saved his ass with that Mountain Dew Red. Michael, the guy he had been friends with for 12 years. Michael, the only guy he knew that would accept that he was dead but not gone, other than Evan, who was in the same situation as him.

Jeremy knew that this could ruin their relationship. Michael didn’t like Jeremy. It seemed gross. Who would date a ghost?

Evan his brain supplied. Connor and Evan are dating. Connor is dead too.

Anyway, Jeremy reverted to hiding from Michael, in hopes it would get rid of these feelings. Jeremy used his father’s birthday to keep away.

Jeremy spent the day sitting in his room, which he didn’t need because he never slept, until he could sit in silence anymore. Jeremy moved around the apartment, but everything reminded him of Michael. Jeremy decided to “sit” on the couch and wait for Michael to return. And if he was thinking of his friend in the wrong way, who would have known the better?

When Michael came through the door Jeremy tried to act like he hadn’t just been thinking about Michael. He felt tense. As he and Michael talked he zoned out. Jeremy needed to say something.

”I’m gonna do something stupid” Jeremy croaked. “And if you want me to stop, please just punch me.”

”I don’t think I’ll do that” Michael laughed.

Jeremy took a moment to calm his nerves before pressing his lips to Michael’s. Jeremy waited for any response, even negative, but still...

<_>

Michael froze. Was Jeremy kissing him? Fuck, his lips were soft. Jeremy looked so nervous. Wait...KISS HIM BACK IDIOT!

Michael put a hand through Jeremy’s messy hair and pulled the boy closer. Michael kissed back and shut his eyes. He had to enjoy it while he could.

Jeremy broke the kiss and floated three feet back.

”I’m sorry Michael” Jeremy whispered.

”Why” Michael asked. “Jere, I kissed you back. I’ve wanted this since sixth grade. C’mon, would I lead you on like that?”

”So, this is okay” Jeremy mumbled, grabbing Michael’s hand.

”Abso-fucking-lutly” Michael beamed, squeezing back.

”Cool” Jeremy mumbled.

”Jere” Michael whispered.

”Yeah?”

”Can I kiss you?”

Jeremy nodded and let Michael pull him closer. Michael pressed their lips together and felt Jeremy melt into the kiss. The pairs mouth’s moved in unison as Michael pulled Jeremy on top of him.

Jeremy let out a quiet moan when Michael put his hands on the boy’s sides. Michael took that as an invite and slipped his hands under Jeremy’s shirt. Wait...

”Jeremy” Michael gasped, breaking the kiss. “You’re solid!”

”Holy shit” Jeremy whispered. “How?”

Michael watched Jeremy attempt to fly back, but the boy just fell to the floor. Jeremy stood up and Michael watched him fade so that he was slightly transparent, and back to solid.

”I can control it” Jeremy grinned. “When I’m solid I don’t fly.”

”That’s better than nothing” Michael chuckled.

”Yeah.”

The two sat in silence for a moment before Michael walked over. Michael wrapped Jeremy in a hug, and thankfully, Jeremy hugged back. Jeremy pulled back first but only adjusted so he could kiss Michael. Michael pulled Jeremy back and they fell back on the couch.

”I love you Jere-Bear” Michael murmured.

”I love you too Micha” Jeremy smiled.

Michael watched Jeremy steal his glasses. Michael blinked repeatedly, he couldn’t see squat.

”How do I look” Jeremy laughed.

”I’d love to say that you look amazing” Michael sighed. “But I can’t see anything.”

Michael felt his glasses go back on his face and he smiled at Jeremy. His lips were red. Michael pulled Jeremy back down to leave a trail of kisses down the ghost boy’s neck.

”Michael” Jeremy groaned.

”Is this okay” Michael asked.

Jeremy just nodded. Michael kissed along Jeremy’s collar bone and ran his hands along Jeremy’s back. Jeremy started to grind against Michael and Michael started to bite at Jeremy in resopnse.

”Oh my god” Jeremy gasped.

”What” Michael smirked. “Better than you thought?”

”Yeah” Jeremy answered.

”I love you Jere” Michael stated.

”I love you too” Jeremy whispered.

Chapter Text

Chapter Nine

Connor was excited. He was going to properly meet Evan’s family. Connor and Evan had a whole plan set up for he day, and any future encounters with the Hansen family.

Murphy Anderson, Connor’s fake name(Murphy being his real last name and Anderson being Cynthia’s maiden name), was a 19 year old from Queens that met Evan over the summer. They quickly became close friends and soon started dating. Pretty straight forward, right?

Connors knee kept bouncing while Evan drove to the site. All of Connor’s mental issues vanished with his death, but Connor could practically feel his social anxiety roaring. He hated talking to people, but this was different. The fact that it was different was probably the fact that the boy was d-e-a-d dead.

“Hey” Evan called. “Are you okay?”

”Just excited” Connor explained. “I always wanted to meet your dad. Mostly so I could punch him for being a total twat, but also to see if you look more like him compared to Heidi.”

”I look like both” Evan muttered, turning a corner. “Some days I scream Mom, others I scream Blake. I think it depends on my mood.”

”I’ll be right beside you the whole time babe” Connor smiled.

”That was a horrible nickname” Evan snorted.

”Fine” Connor groaned. “I’ll stick with Ev. Or Evie-Bevie, I’ve wanted to use that one for quite some time. Hell, Evangreen sounds perfect right now.”

”Oh my god” Evan chuckled. “Not in front of my family, please.”

”Whatever you want Evie-Bevie” Connor beamed.

The two pulled up to the shipment site and Evan lead Connor to the main office. Connor hadn’t been to the building since becoming solid. The two walked up to Alice Hansen’s office and entered the room.

”Hi Evan” Alice greeted. “And you must be Murphy, it’s lovely to meet you.”

”You too Mrs. Hansen” Connor nodded.

”Nice to meet you Murphy” Ray smiled.

”Thank you for letting me come” Connor grinned.

”Alright Evan” Ray sighed. “We’ve got two cars for you to clean out, and if you have time, start helping Donny with unloading. Blake will be here around noon.”

The two left in a hurry and Connor turned to Alice. Connor noted that the hoodie was on a coat rack, Evan must have hung it up.

”Do you think you could organize these files” Alice asked, opening a drawer. “I’ve got some checks to deliver.”

Connor nodded and went to his task. In ten minutes the drawer was organized by date and alphabetically. Connor moved on to the rest of the files in the office and used his air pushing ability to get all of the dust out of the room. After that he reorganized the desk. When Alice came in she stopped dead.

”I was only gone for an hour” Alice gasped. “This is amazing Murphy. Thank you!”

”No problem Mrs. Hansen” Connor chuckled.

”Alright” Alice drawled. “How are you with math?”

”I probably skipped school more than I should have, but I had top marks for math” Connor announced.

“Perfect” Alice nodded.

The two spent the rest of the morning finishing distribution papers, worked on adding hours worked, and fixing any errors made on previous documents.

Connor jerked out of his math thinking space when the door opened and Evan walked in with his uncle, and a man who looked just like his uncle. Connor watched Evan slip the hoodie around his waist. The shorter boy waved Connor over and the ghost complied.

”Co-err uh, Murphy” Evan stuttered. “This is m-my father Blake. D-Dad, this is Murphy.”

Connor stuck out his hand to shake, but Blake just grunted in response.

”It's nice to meet you sir” Connor mumbled, putting his hand down.

The trio left the building. When Evan walked through the door, Connor almost crashed into Blake because of the hoodie pulling him back like a magnet. The three got into their cars and left the site, Connor and Evan following Blake.

-=-

Lunch was going as well as anyone would assume. Meaning it was shitty. Evan’s dad complained about anything and everything while they ate. Most of the complaining was about Evan or Heidi. Blake was offended that Connor didn’t order anything, granted he had a legitimate reason, and things were just horrid.

After Evan paid for lunch, because Blake clearly wouldn’t, the three left the small diner. Evan kept his head down while walking back to the car, playing with the hem of his shirt. Evan stopped walking when he couldn’t hear Connor trudging behind him. The ghost in question was arguing with his father.

”How dare you blame him for this” Connor hissed. “None of it was his fault you asshat!”

”What’s going on” Evan squeaked.

”Your idiot friend over here is blaming me of all people for your anxiety” Blake scoffed.

”And what if he’s right” Evan whispered.

”Excuse me” Blake growled. “How dare you say that to me Evan.”

”Well it’s true” Evan snapped. “You left when I was seven! You haven’t tried contacting me in 11 god damn years! I GREW UP WITH A MOM WHO COULD BARELY HANDLE HER LIFE BECAUSE YOU LEFT HER FOR A FUCKING COCKTAIL WAITRESS!”

Evan felt fuzzy. Everything was blurry. He couldn’t breath. He felt someone grab his shirt and pull him forward. Evan heard a blotch of sound and felt a familiar cool hand pull him away. Next thing Evan knew he was having a full blown panic attack in his car. He felt someone, probably Connor, rubbing his back in circles and talking to him.

Once Evan could breath again he fell into Connor for a hug. The taller boy hugged back and kept whispering reassurances to Evan.

”I love you” Evan whispered.

”I love you too Ev” Connor murmured.

Evan sat up again and took in his surroundings. He was in the passenger seat of his car, Connor was sitting in the driver seat. Evan looked down and frowned. The hoodie had a huge rip in it. It went from the collar to the hem, it was hanging open.

”Do you feel okay” Evan gasped.

”I’m a bit fuzzy, maybe more humane, but nothing is wrong” Connor assured.

“What happened to Blake” Evan asked.

”I shoved him off of you” Connor announced. “Then I got you out and now we’re here.”

”Let’s get back to the site” Evan muttered. “Can you drive?”

”I have been waiting for this day for two months Evan” Connor grinned.

The couple went back and Evan let Connor into the building before running off to help Donny. The Hispanic man was nowhere to be seen. Evan assumed he was on his break and started unloading the train car.

=

Things went downhill pretty quickly after the pair got home. Connor seemed really excited about something, but before he could get a word out he passed out in the kitchen.

”Shit” Evan cried. “Not again Connor!”

Evan ran over to the sink and filled a glass with water. Evan ran back over and dumped half of the glass on Connor. The ghost boy sat up with a gasp.

”What happened” Connor asked.

”You passed out” Evan explained.

Connor nodded and tried to stand up, but fell back down again. Connor reached toward Evan and grabbed the glass from his hand. Evan watched Connor down the rest of the water. The boy expected the water to fall through Connor, like the last time they did this, but it stayed. Evan helped Connor off the floor and sat him down at the small table.

”I think I can eat now” Connor whispered. “I actually feel hungry, do we have food?”

Evan nodded and walked over to the fridge. He pulled out leftovers from the night before and set them on the table to continue searching. Evan closed the fridge after he grabbed sandwich meat. He turned back to Connor and saw his eating the leftovers cold.

”Sorry I’m eating like a pig” Connor mumbled, mouth full.

”You haven’t ate in two months” Evan laughed, pecking his cheek. “All is forgiven.”

“I don’t deserve you” Connor muttered. “I just showed up here, you let me stay, and now I’m eating the food that you pay for.”

”Connor” Evan murmured. “You live here too. This doesn’t change anything, I promise. Okay?”

”Yeah” Connor sighed.

Evan ran a hand through his boyfriend’s hair before grabbing a towel to clean up the spilled water. Evan felt relief was over him as he walked to the laundry room. He was going to be able to take care of Connor again. He wasn’t able to just sit anymore. He had to eat, wait...did he?

”Con” Evan called, walking back to the kitchen. “Do you have to eat? I’m not trying to sound mean, but...you’re still dead...right?”

”It hurts like hell when I’m hungry” Connor mumbled, putting his dishes into the dishwasher. “But I don’t think I have to. I don’t feel alive.”

The two walked to the living room and Evan plopped down on top of Connor. He felt the right side of Connor’s chest, knowing his heart was on that side instead of the left, but didn’t feel a heartbeat. Evan shook his head and brought Connor’s lips to his own. The shorter boy felt Connor’s breath hitch and he pulled back. Evan saw the tears running down Connor’s face and he wiped them away.

”Hey” Evan cooed. “It’s okay Connor. Talk to me Con.”

”I know I fucked up” Connor sobbed. “I know I should have waited. I shouldn’t have killed myself. But I don’t even regret it fully.”

”What do you mean Connie” Evan murmured.

”I do regret it” Connor whispered. “Because I hurt you, my family, and everyone around me. But I don’t because I’m with you now, and I’ve never felt happier and that makes me feel shitty because I’m happier being dead than I was alive. And I want another chance, I want to come back to them and apologize, but the damn hoodie is here and I hate it!”

Connor shot up and paced the living room. Evan stayed down and let him think through the voices in his head.

”What so you need Connie” Evan asked.

”Can you hold me” Connor begged. “Please?”

”C’mere” Evan smiled.

Connor trotted over and rested his head in Evan’s chest. Evan held the taller boy close and pressed kisses into his hair. Once Connor’s breathing was back to normal, Evan ran his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair.

”I don’t know if you realized it or not” Evan said quietly. “But you’re breathing again too. So I think today was a big step forward. You eat and drink again, you breathe, and bodily functions are active again.”

”Bodily functions” Connor questioned.

”Its more of an assumption” Evan sighed. “But what comes in must come out, right?”

”The food we eat turns into energy Ev” Connor snorted. “I have ghost energy.”

”And everything that is excess turns into waste” Evan added.

”Oh” Connor mumbled. “Damn, you’re smart.”

”Thank you” Evan smiled. “Do you feel better?”

“Yeah” Connor chuckled. “Thanks.”

”Any time” Evan grinned.

The pair got up and Connor handed Evan the hoodie. He wanted to go somewhere. Connor opened the door and stepped out. That’s when both boys froze.

Connor looked back to Evan and cracked a grin. Evan returned the smile and dropped the hoodie. Evan ran over and wrapped Connor in a hug. 

“I’m free” Connor laughed. “Oh my god! We need to celebrate! Let’s get Jeremy and Michael!”

Connor dashed over to the neighbor’s door and waited for Evan, who grabbed his keys and locked the door behind him. Connor tried the handle, but it was locked. Connor phased through the door but walked back out a moment later.

”We can leave them alone for now” Connor chuckled.

“Is something wrong” Evan asked.

”Let's just say that the sexual tension is gone” Connor smirked.

”Y-You saw them...”

”God no” Connor snorted. “But they were confessing to each other when I peaked around the corner. Our boys are grown up.”

”They’re literally a year and a half younger than us” Evan laughed.

”Let’s go celebrate” Connor chuckled. “The sun will be down soon and today was great...let’s just go.”

Evan sighed happily as he walked with Connor to the elevator. The two started to walk around town, finding anything to celebrate.

-=-

”What if in another world we weren’t friends” Connor asked.

The dynamic duo were lying down in bed. They were both physicaly drained from being social earlier in the evening, but they weren’t tired. They were just lying down, talking to each other with the occasional hand holding for a minute or two.

”What if in another world we had super powers” Evan tried.

”What if we’re just characters in a story” Connor mumbled. “And some author writes down everything we say and do. What if when we lose our train of thought...the author is just backspacing. What if we were a musical.”

”And what would the musical be called” Evan laughed.

”Dear Evan Hansen” Connor stated. “It would be about our friendship. And dealing with mental problems.”

”Who would be our Broadway actors” Evan questioned.

”You’d be Ben Platt” Connor said. “I’d be...Mike Faist, and Jared would be Will Roland.”

”Mike Faist” Evan nodded. “He does look a bit like you. But he has heterochromia.”

”I do too” Connor laughed.

”You do” Evan gasped.

Connor got up and walked into the bathroom, Evan in a tow. The taller boy flipped on the lights and stared into the mirror. He reached forward and removed his contacts. Connor turned to Evan and smiled. Evan was staring at his left eye, the brown one.

”WE’VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR FOUR YEARS AND YOU STILL HAVEN’T TOLD ME EVERYTHING!”

”In my defense not even my parents knew” Connor snorted.

”Theyre your parents Con” Evan deadpanned.

”I was in charge at the eye clinic” Connor chuckled. “I oredered colored contacts to keep the change from them.”

”You’re nuts” Evan laughed.

”You love it” Connor murmured, backing Evan out of the room.

Connor pressed a kiss to Evan and lightly squeezed his boyfriend’s ass. Evan squeaked, but returned the kiss none the less.

”I want you” Connor growled, biting down Evan’s neck.

Evan hummed in response and pulled the two down onto the bed.

”I promise that things can only get better from here” Connor whispered. “I love you and you’re beautiful Evan.”

”I love you too” Evan chuckled.

Chapter Text

 Chapter Ten

Connor returned from shopping with a hat on. Evan was sitting on the couch working, it was Tuesday so he was home. Connor had just met up with Donny, one of Evan’s coworkers, and everything was finally ready.

”Hey Ev” Connor beamed, kising the top of his head.

Evan shot up from his work and stood to embrace Connor.

”I love you” Evan breathed, pecking Connor’s cheek. “Why are you wearing a hat?”

Connor sat Evan back down and stood in front of him. Connor removed the hat and felt his hair fall from it. Evan shot up again.

”You dyed it” Evan squeaked.

“Only the last three inches” Connor added. “So, I know I’ve been kinda secretive the past few weeks, but now everything’s ready so...I can tell you.”

”Okay” Evan nodded.

”You remember Donny” Connor asked. A nod. “Well, turns out he’s an illegal immigrant from Mexico. When I was working with your aunt, I ran into him on he phone with the guy who was getting his papers. We talked for awhile, and that’s how I got these.”

Connor held up the folder and passed it to Evan. Connor watched his boyfriend flip through the papers and saw him smile.

”You got papers for Murphy Anderson” Evan chuckled. “That’s amazing Connor, but there was an easier way.”

”What” Connor blanked.

”Jared’s dad works for the government” Evan explained. “Jared has been hacking the system since he was ten. He could have hacked in and done all this from his house.”

”I was trying to surprise you” Connor groaned, flopping on the couch.

”I still love you” Evan hummed, rubbing Connor’s back. “Happy anniversary.”

”What” Connor blanked.

”We’ve been dating for a month” Evan smiled. “Not officially, but it’s been a month since we started sleeping together. I forgot about it until a few minutes ago.”

”Happy anniversary Evie-Bevie” Connor murmured. “Didn’t we agree to something for this?”

”We said we’d tell Jared after a month” Evan recalled. “But now he knows that you’re alive...dead...ghost, so we could just tell him that we’re dating.”

”Yeah” Connor nodded. “We should invite him over. We can ask Michael and Jeremy to come over too. Haven’t seen much of them since they got together.”

”Sounds perfect” Evan whispered. “You got your hair cut a bit shorter too?”

”I only took two inches off” Connor assured. “Just to get the ends evened out when it was dyed.”

”Was this your way of trying to get me to play with your hair more” Evan chuckled.

”I think it looks nice with the blue” Connor whined. “But yeah, a little.”

”You look amazing Con” Evan assured.

Connor nodded and got off of Evan. He grabbed the bag of necessities that Evan sent him out to get and put them away before grabbing his phone to text Michael.

MurphMan: Oi, you and Jere need to come over tonight.

MichaMan: y do we have 2? It’s thxgivin break my man?

MurphMan: It’s our anniversary today, please just show up.

MichaMan: Fine. I’m bringing weed.

Connor closed that chat and opened one with Jeremy.

MurphMan: You and Michael are coming over to Evan’s tonight. Don’t let Michael bring weed, Evan hates it.

ImHeere: ok. C u 2night!

Connor turned off his phone and went to making dinner. Evan finished his work and cleaned up the papers that we scattered everywhere. Evan sat down just as Connor finished.

”Jared will be here in an hour” Evan stated.

”Michael and Jeremy are coming” Connor sighed. “They may or may not be bringing weed. I told them not to.”

”Ugg” Evan groaned.

”I'd fly over and make sure, but I can’t fly anymore” Connor mumbled.

”I know” Evan sighed.

Connor lost more of his ghost powers when he got his breathing back, and the ability to eat. He only had one power left, phasing through stuff.

The two ate dinner in silence and both helped clean up. After that Evan went to making snacks while Connor cleaned the apartment.

Someone knocked on the door and Connor opened it. Jared strutted in and waved to Evan.

”You dyed your hair” Jared noted. “Wait...since when is your eye brown?”

”Never mind that” Connor sighed. “Thanks for coming.”

Connor saw Michael and Jeremy leave their apartment and walk down to Connor. He let them in before closing the door.

”Happy anniversary losers” Michael smiled.

”Wait...what” Jared blanked.

”That’s why we invited you over” Evan explained.

”Me and Ev have been dating for a month” Connor added.

”I knew it” Jared smirked. “Ev, you coming home for Thanksgiving?”

”Probably not” Evan mumbled. “I don’t celebrate holidays. And I don’t think it’s fair to leave Connor out. He can’t go home.”

”Nah, you should go visit Heidi” Connor shoved. “Even if you don’t celebrate, you have off work until Monday.”

”Listen to your boy toy” Michael whispered. “Jeremy’s dad will be over, he told me at school today.”

”I’ll think about it” Evan stated. “Who wants to watch Netflix?”

”Hold up” Jared paused. “Striped shirt guy is Jeremy Heere?”

”Hi” Jeremy squeaked.

”Jared Klienman” Jared smiled. “Our dads worked together when we were younger.”

”Oh yeah” Jeremy gasped. “Before dad was a teacher, okay. Nice to see you again.”

The two started to talk with Michael joining in soon after. Connor wished Zoe could have been around. Evan stood next to him and leaned against Connor’s side.

”You’ll be okay if I go” Evan murmured.

”Yeah” Connor nodded. “I actually have a way I could come with.”

”I’m listening” Evan grinned.

-=-

Evan climbed into his car with Connor next to him. They found a way for them both to come with. Evan was about to start the car when he remembered something.

”Did you want to drive” Evan asked. “I’ll start when we get into town, but I know you like driving, so...you can.”

”Thanks Ev” Connor smiled.

The pair switched places and Connor started the drive back home. Connor turned on the radio and Evan watched him start to sing along.

”They say all’s fair” Connor belted out. “In love and war! But I won’t need to fight it. We’ll get it right and we’ll be united!”

Evan switched the station and watched Connor listen for a moment before remembering the song.

”And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me” Connor screeched. “Everyday I will remind you.”

”How are you with country music” Evan asked.

”Not the biggest fan” Connor shrugged. “But it’s better than people make it out to be.”

Evan nodded and changed the channel again.

“Staring at a family flawless, but it ain’t a pretty picture tonight” Connor sang.

Evan flipped the station one last time and watched Connor blank at the song. Connor clearly didn’t know it, but Evan did.

”I can fake a smile” Evan hummed. “I can force a laugh. I can dance and play the part if that’s what you ask. Give you all I am.”

”I don’t like this sad music” Connor mumbled, changing the channel.

“I love this song” Evan grinned, noting the new song.

”I don’t need you to sell me on reasons to want you” Connor sang quietly. “I don’t need you to search for the proof that I should. You don’t have to convince me. You don’t have to be sacred you're not enough. Cause what we’ve got going is good.

I don’t need reminders of all that’s been broken. I don’t need you to fix what I’d rather forget. Clear the slate and start over. Try to quiet the noises in your head. We can’t compete with all that.

So what if it’s us? What if it’s us and only us? And what came before won’t count anymore or matter. Can we try that. What if it’s you? And what if it’s me? And what if it’s all we need it to be? And the rest of the world falls away? What do you say?”

“I never thought there’d be someone like you who would want me” Evan droned on. “So I gave you ten thousand reasons to not let me go. But if you see me. If you like me for me and nothing else. Well, that’s all that I’ve wanted for longer than you could possibly know.

So it can be us. It can be us and only us. And what came before won’t count anymore or matter. We can try that.”

“It’s not so impossible” the two sang.

“Nobody else but the two of us here” Evan mumbled.

”Cause you’re saying it’s possible” the two belted.

”We can just watch the whole world disappear” Connor continued.

”Till you’re the only one I still know how to see!”

”Its just you and me” Evan added.

”It’ll be us” Connor hummed. “It’ll be us and only us. And what came before won’t count anymore!”

”We can try that” The two screamed. “You and me. That’s all that we need it to be. And the rest of the world falls away. And the rest of the world falls away. The world falls away. The world falls away. And it’s only us.”

It went on for the remainder of the ride. They found songs they both liked and sang like no one was watching. When the couple were back in their home town Evan and Connor switched seats and Evan drove up to his house. Heidi was at work.

”What’s with the face” Connor asked, stepping out of the car.

”Last time I was here I realized I had feelings for you” Evan murmured. “It feels weird. Thinking of that now. It’s been a great month.”

”Yeah” Connor nodded, grabbing his bag. “Let’s get inside before a neighbor sees me.”

The two rushed to the front door and Evan unlocked it. He had texted Heidi that he was coming over, so she wouldn’t worry about the unlocked door. Connor bound up to Evan’s bedroom with the shorter boy in a tow. They threw down their bags and Evan pulled out the black hoodie.

”Why’d you bring that with” Connor demanded.

“We are going to destroy it” Evan announced. “So we never have to see it again.”

Before Connor could get a word out Evan ran down the stairs and into the small backyard. Evan threw down the hoodie in the small fire pit that Heidi put in when he was eight. He grabbed the Girl Scout Juice ((what I call charcoal lighter)) and dumped a reasonable amount onto the jacket. Evan put the bottle down and lit a match.

”You should do it” Evan stated, handing the match to Connor.

Evan watched Connor drop the match into the pit and the hoodie burst into flames. Almost instantly Connor went to his knees.

”I don’t think we should have done that” Connor hissed.

Evan heard a thump from behind them and turned. Someone was lying in the snow covered grass. But it wasn’t just someone.

”Holy shit” Connor groaned. “That’s my corpse!”

”Connor” Evan whispered. “What did I do?”

Evan went to grab Connor’s hand, but it fell through. Connor was phasing through him.

”Ev” Connor cried. “I don’t wanna go. I’m not ready yet. Please Evan, don’t let me go.”

Connor stood and glanced down at his fading hands.

”Connor” Evan called.

Connor glanced up and gave Evan a hug. He slipped through almost instantly, but the point was across.

”I love you” Connor whispered.

And then he was gone.

Chapter Text

Chapter Eleven

Evan couldn’t breathe. Everything was silent. Connor had just vanished. The love of his life was gone. Evan stumbled over to the dead body that had landed in the yard. Connor’s face stared back. What did he do?

”Connor” Evan whispered. “Please come back. I need you. I-I can’t do this without you.”

”Hey Evan” Jared’s voice called. “What’s going on.”

”He’s gone Jared” Evan sobbed. “It’s my fault. I h-had to burn the damn h-hoodie. He’s gone.”

Jared jogged over and kneeled next to Evan in the snow. Jared wrapped Evan in a hug and let the other boy cry. Jared would never admit it, but he was crying on the inside.

”It’s my fault” Evan gasped. “I did this.”

”You didn’t do anything Ev” Jared mumbled. “I promise.”

”You weren’t there Jared” Evan screamed. “He vanished Jared. I did it!”

”C-Calm down” Jared wavered. “What do we do with the body? That’s him, right?”

Evan looked down at the body. It was wearing Connor’s clothes. Cynthia was the one who suggested that he was buried in his own clothes, Evan couldn’t have agreed more.

”I watched him go twice Jared” Evan cried. “It’s my fault.”

Evan lied down next to the body. Jared stayed at his side and let Evan cry. Evan didn’t want to feel anything.

”I never even told him my middle name” Evan sniffed. “He tried guessing it. He never got it right.”

”I don’t think he ever would have Ev” Jared shuddered. “It’s the last thing he would expect. God I hate myself right now. I was always a dick to him. But Connor was just so annoying.”

Silence passed between the two.

”I heard you were talking shit about me.”

”What the fuck” Jared screeched.

Evan looked over to the body. It gave a weak smile.

”Connor” Evan whispered.

”You weren’t getting rid of me that easily” Connor coughed. “I’ve still gotta find out your middle name Ev.”

Evan gave a watery smile and jumped onto Connor. The two hugged it out while Jared tried to calm down. Evan peppered Connor’s face with kisses and put a hand to his boyfriend’s heart. It was beating.

“You’re alive” Evan breathed.

”And my first words after being reborn were a vine reference” Connor chuckled. “Fuck yeah!”

Evan helped Connor stand and walked him into the house. Jared followed behind, muttering about how he shouldn’t eat bath bombs.

To Evan, Connor looked tired. Like back before his suicide tired. He looked done with the world. But he also looked as happy as could be.

Evan sat down at the island with Connor next to him. Jared stumbled into the bathroom and locked it behind him. Evan felt Connor grab his hand and Evan perked up.

”Marry me.”

”What?”

Evan spoke first.

”Please marry me” Evan repeated. “It doesn’t have to be now, it could be three years from now, I really don’t care. I’ve lost you twice now, please Connor.”

”We’ve been dating for a month” Connor mumbled.

”And we’ve been friends for four years” Evan added. “I just...I need to know. I need that assurance that you won’t go. I need you Connor, please.”

”Yes” Connor whispered. “Yes I’ll marry you Evan.”

”I love you” Evan murmured.

”I love you too Ev” Connor smiled.

The boys embraced and Evan felt them spin around. They broke apart when Jared left the bathroom.

”I-I need a nap” Jared shook. “I’ll deal with this another day. Good fucking bye.”

Jared ran out the front door before either boy could say anything. Evan felt Connor bury his face in Evan’s neck.

”I’m not gonna be easy to deal with” Connor warned. “When I was dead...something was blocking all of my mental problems. They’re back Ev, I can feel the pain again.”

”I’ll get you the help you need” Evan stated. “Just hold on until we get back. Please.”

”Okay” Connor nodded, pressing a kiss to Evan’s head.

”We need to tell my mom” Evan sighed. “It won’t be easy, but she needs to know that you’re back.”

”Okay” Connor whispered.

The two sat down in the living room and turned on the TV. Evan made sure to keep contact with Connor at all times. Wether they were holding hands or bumping shoulders, he wasn’t letting him go again.

”Evan” Heidi called. “I ordered a pizza for us...Connor?”

”Hey Heidi” Connor greeted. “Guess we have to explain now.”

“You might wanna sit down Mom” Evan suggested.

-=-

Connor walked out of the bathroom after his shower and sat next to Evan on the bed. It took hours to convince Heidi that she couldn’t tell anyone about what happened to Connor. And sadly, the hardest part was telling Heidi that Evan proposed. She seemed surprised, to say the least, but she nodded her head and said she understood.

Connor didn’t mind being alive again, but feeling the pain that his depression had on him, he didn’t like it. But he had to hold on, this was his second chance at life.

”Is it James” Connor asked, he’d been trying at the middle name since before he showered.

”No” Evan smiled.

”Please don’t tell me it’s Blake” Connor begged.

”No” Evan chuckled. “Let’s go to sleep Connor.”

”That’s fiancé to you” Connor warned.

”I know Connie” Evan mumbled, flipping off the light. “I proposed, remember?”

”Yeah” Connor chuckled, hopping under the covers with Evan. “I really, really love you Evan.”

”I love you too” Evan yawned.

=

Connor woke up with Evan clinging to him tightly. Connor returned the squeeze and sighed, another day. Connor managed to pry Evan off of him and get into the bathroom to start the day.

Connor walked down the stairs and waved to Heidi. She looked about ready to leave for work. Connor grabbed a cup of coffee and sat across from her.

”I’m sorry I had Evan lie to you” Connor sighed. “I didn’t know what was happening to me...and I just...I didn’t want anyone to know.”

”I’ll forgive you on one condition” Heidi offered.

”Okay” Connor nodded. “What is it?”

”Get down on one knee and propose properly” Heidi smiled, slamming down a box on the counter.

Connor grabbed the box and opened it. Inside was a silver ring.

”It’s been in my family for generations” Heidi chuckled. “My mom never had a son, so I vowed that Evan would get the ring someday. Wether a gift, or for him to actually wear, he was getting it.”

”But Evan proposed to me” Connor recalled. “Wouldn’t it be weird for me to do it now?”

”Since when have Hansen’s cared about things being weird” Heidi laughed. “Evan let a ghost into his life for fucks sake.”

”Good point” Connor grinned.

Connor stood up and embraced Heidi.

”Con” Heidi squeaked.

”Thank you Heidi” Connor whispered.

”For what” Heidi asked, returning the hug.

”Everything” Connor mumbled. “For being my mom. For trying to convince my parents that I needed help. For dealing with this bullshit. Just...thank you.”

”Of course honey” Heidi beamed. “But I have to get to work. I’ll be back around two.”

Heidi pulled back and walked out the door. Connor turned his attention back to the box. He slipped it into his pocket and went to making Evan tea. He had just put the cup on the counter when Evan came stumbling down the stairs, blanket around his shoulders.

“Just like in high school” Connor chuckled, passing Evan the mug.

”Mmmhm” Evan yawned. “Thank you Connor.”

“Any time Ev” Connor smiled. “Can I ask you something?”

”Of course” Evan sighed.

Connor grabbed the box and opened it. He got down and held the box up.

”Please, will you marry me” Connor asked.

”Where the hell did you get a ring” Evan squeaked.

”That’s not an answer” Connor groaned. “It’s yes, or hell yes.”

”Hell yes” Evan murmured.

Connor put the ring on Evan and was surprised it fit. Evan had small hands.

”Ya know you have to get me one now” Connor laughed.

”Damn it” Evan hissed. “I’m broke.”

“We’ll figure it out” Connor stated. “Heidi gave me the ring by the way.”

”Of course she did” Evan mumbled.

The pair finished their drinks in silence and Connor shoved Evan upstairs to get ready for the day. Connor heard a knock on the door and looked through the peep hole. It was Zoe. Connor pulled out his phone.

Con<3: Zoe’s here, you need to get the door.

Ev<3: I’m coming.

Con<3: She’s gonna start to shout soon.

Ev<3: I’ll be down soon. Go hide.

Connor heard Evan’s footsteps and hid in the closet by the entryway. Evan opened the door and Connor listened in.

”Hi Evan” Zoe beamed. “Jared said that you were back, why didn’t you tell me?”

”It was a long day yesterday” Evan shrugged. “What’s up?”

”I wanted to talk to you about something important” Zoe explained.

Oh hell no.

”Sure” Evan chuckled awkwardly. “Come in. Do you want something to drink?”

“No thanks” Zoe declined.

”What’s up” Evan asked.

Connor slipped out of the closet and watched the two converse in the living room, hiding behind a corner.

”Okay” Zoe mumbled. “Evan, we’ve known each other for over four years.”

”Yeah” Evan nodded. “I’m best friends with your brother.”

“Was” Zoe added. “And I think that some things have changed since then.”

Zoe don’t you fucking dare!

”I guess” Evan sighed. “You know, Connor died.”

”Evan, this isn’t about Connor” Zoe croaked. “It’s about you and me.”

Bitch! He’s mine! Evan, don’t fall for it!

”What about us” Evan asked.

”I don’t really know how to put it into words” Zoe groaned. “But I know the action.”

Zoe leaned forward and kissed Evan. Connor was ready to run over and pull them apart, but Evan beat him to it. Evan pulled Zoe back and looked her dead in the eyes.

”I really like you Evan” Zoe smiled.

”No” Evan said.

”What” Zoe blanked.

”I can’t date you Zoe” Evan stated.

”Why not” Zoe demanded.

”I’m your brother’s best friend” Evan cracked. “And if I just started dating you? What would people say?”

“Do you think I care what other people think” Zoe asked.

”Maybe you don’t” Evan whispered. “But either way, no.”

”Why” Zoe cried.

”Because I was dating Connor” Evan snapped.

”What...”

”I was dating your brother right before he died” Evan wavered. “And I found him dead. Did I ever show you the suicide note he left?”

”He left a note” Zoe gasped.

Evan walked over to a framed picture of Connor and Evan that was on the wall. Connor watched him open the frame and pull out a sheet of paper. Evan closed the frame and walked back over.

”Read it out loud” Evan suggested.

“Dear Evan Hansen” Zoe started. “Hey man, I don’t know how to word this. I’ve never gotten to this point. I just want to be free, ya know? I get that this will be hard for you, I do. Just, don’t think that it was your fault, don’t think that you should have seen it coming and that you should have tried to stop me in some way. You didn’t see it coming, because I never told you. You couldn’t have stopped me, I planned this while you were busy. I’m sorry Ev, but I ust know that I’m free now, and I’ll see you again someday. You tried your best, but I was broken in ways that no one could fix. Remember that I’m still your best friend, and I still love you Ev, even if I’m gone.

Sincerely, your best and most dearest friend (wink, wink), Me.

PS: Keep the hoodie, something to remember me by!”

”Zoe, I’m sorry” Evan whispered. “But I’m not over Connor, so it would never work.”

”Okay” Zoe nodded. “We’re still friends, right?”

”Of course” Evan smiled. “But I think I know of a certain someone who would be happy to date you.”

”Who” Zoe asked.

”Well, you know her” Evan started.

”How did you know I was bi” Zoe snorted.

”Its my bidar” Evan laughed. “She’s super smart. She has glasses. And she definitely likes you”.”

”Alana” Zoe guessed.

”Bingo” Evan nodded.

”I'll talk to her” Zoe grinned. “Thanks Evan. And I’m sorry for what I did.”

”All is forgiven” Evan assured. “Good luck Zoe.”

”Thanks” Zoe sighed. “Happy Thanksgiving!”

Zoe left the house and Connor walked over to Evan.

”Bitch you thought” Connor murmured.

Chapter Text

Chapter Twelve

Jeremy floated above Michael as he slept. He had been for hours. And as much as Jeremy loved watching Michael sleep...he was bored as hell.

Jeremy decided to leave Michael alone and phased out of the room. It was a usual Thursday, except it was Black Friday the next day, and Michael agreed to go shopping with Rich and Christine. Jeremy would tag along as a ghost. Thus, Michael was sleeping at nine at night. Rich and Christine were supposed to show up later.

”I love play rehearsal” Jeremy sang quietly, floating around the apartment. “Because it’s the best. Because it is fun. I love play rehearsal and I get depressed as soon it’s done. But not depressed as in like kill yourself, depressed, no I’m not into self harm! Dude a swear here check my arm!”

Jeremy chuckled at the memory of Christine dancing around the theater while singing. Jeremy put the girl on a pedestal when he shouldn’t have. But now he was over Christine and had Michael.

”I just use the word to emphasize a point. Show the passion that I’ve got” Jeremy continued.

”I am passionate a lot” Christine’s voice called out.

Jeremy vanished and turned around. Christine and Rich were in the living room.

”Why were you singing” Rich asked.

”I could have sworn I heard Jeremy’s voice” Christine mumbled. “I made an improv song about play rehearsal and Jeremy was the only one to hear it.”

”We all miss Tall Ass” Rich sighed. “Let’s get some sleep before Michael wakes up.”

Rich grabbed a blanket that Michael left out and crashed on the floor. Christine took another blanket and slept on the couch. Jeremy waited for them to fall asleep before speaking again.

”I miss you guys too” Jeremy whispered.

~

Jeremy noted around eleven o’clock that Michael’s alarm hadn’t gone off yet. He knew they planned to leave by half after so he flew into the room.

”Micha” Jeremy called softly. “Wake up.”

”No” Michael groaned.

”Please” Jeremy begged.

”Fine” Michael grumbled.

Michael sat up and smiled sleepily at Jeremy. Jeremy made himself solid and he fell onto the bed, losing his flight.

”Morning” Jeremy smiled.

”Morning Jere-Bear” Michael yawned. “It’s still night though.”

”Get ready” Jeremy shoved. “I’ll make coffee.”

Jeremy, staying solid, left the room and walked over to the coffee maker. He started it up and waited for Michael. Jeremy decided to head into his room and grab his phone. Jeremy made the mistake of walking back out right after Rich woke up.

”TALL ASS” Rich cried.

Jeremy flinched and looked over to Rich. His burns were healing well.

”What’s wrong Rich” Christine mumbled. “JEREMY!”

”Alright” Michael called. “What’s with the screaming...oh.”

“H-Hey guys” Jeremy waved.

“So it was you earlier” Christine gasped.

”Yeah” Jeremy nodded.

”How’d you fake your own death” Rich asked.

”He didn’t” Michael whispered. “He’s dead. Show em Jere.”

Jeremy nodded and vanished from the trio’s sight. He flew behind Rich and made himself visible, but not solid.

”Y-You're floating” Christine babbled.

”I’m a ghost” Jeremy shrugged. “I’ve been with Michael since I died. I’m bound to my sweater.”

”The one that Michael’s been carrying around” Rich asked.

“If Michael had it, I was there” Jeremy confirmed.

”Oh my god” Christine whispered.

”But hey” Jeremy smiled. “My anxiety is practically nonexistent. Do you mind if I join today?”

”Hell yeah you can come Tall Ass” Rich grinned.

”He was coming either way” Michael mumbled.

”Is Mell getting defensive” Rich drawled.

Jeremy landed on the floor and made himself solid. Michael walked over and slung an arm across Jeremy’s shoulders.

“You better believe it” Michael smirked.

”Aww” Christine cooed. “I’m happy for you two.”

”T-Thanks” Jeremy mumbled.

”Yeah” Rich nodded. “Congrats. Looks like I was ahead of the game with the backpack thing.”

”Of course that’s why you’re happy” Michael muttered.

”I’m joking” Rich cried, grabbing a cup of coffee. “I actually am happy. Remember, totally bi now.”

”Alright” Michael nodded. Let’s go to IHob!”

”I still can’t believe they changed the name” Christine muttered. “At least make it International House of Bacon, not International House of Burgers.”

”We know” the three boys groaned.

Three out of the four had a cup of coffee before before leaving. Jeremy tagged along, hiding in the back of the group, until Michael pulled Jeremy forward and grabbed his hand.

When the teens arrived at IHob they all shared a booth. Like usual, Jeremy didn’t order anything. Rich and Christine gave him a look, so Jeremy floated an inch off his seat. They nodded and Jeremy floated back down.

After breakfast they dashed to the near by mall and Jeremy walked with Christine as they split up. Michael just handed the sweater to Christine to make sure that Jeremy was safe.

“It’s been weird without you at school” Christine mumbled.

”You don’t have to lie Chris” Jeremy sighed. “I saw everyone, they moved on fast.”

”Well, I did some soul searching in the past month” Christine smiled.

”And” Jeremy drawled.

“And I figured something out” Christine beamed.

“What is it” Jeremy whispered, leaning against her.

”I’m poly” Christine smiled, shoving back.

”That’s great” Jeremy grinned. “You already know, but I’m bi.”

”I think I knew before you did” Christine chuckled.

”Then you’re good” Jeremy sighed. “We barely knew each other before I...before I was gone.”

”I’m sorry Jere” Christine mumbled.

”It’s not your fault Chris” Jeremy assured. I just...made a dumb mistake. And I regret it, so much.”

The two kept walking around until five o’clock in the morning. Christine had finished her Christmas shopping along with Jeremy, who only bought presents for Michael, Connor, and Evan, despit the fact that Jeremy was Jewish. Rich looked about ready to take a nap. Michael just leaned on Jeremy a bit more on the walk home.

”How are you still wide awake” Rich yawned.

”I don’t sleep” Jeremy shrugged. “Thanks for letting me come with.”

”Speaking of” Michael mumbled. “Chris, the sweater.”

Christine passed the sweater back to Michael and they continued on their walk home. Once they arrived Rich crashed on the couch and Christine took Jeremy’s room that he only used to store his clothes. Michael wrapped Jeremy in a hug before retiring to bed.

”G’night Jere-Bear” Michael murmured.

“Night Micha” Jeremy smiled.

Chapter Text

Chapter Thirteen

Evan hummed while baking. Connor had demanded that they had Christmas cookies, and since Connor never baked, Evan took that job. Evan glanced at his ring and smiled, it still felt crazy, knowing he was engaged.

It had been a good month. Connor went to therapy twice a week, he had meds that we’re working, and everything was great. Connor only slipped up once throughout the whole month, all that needed to change was his meds. Everything was great.

Connor was currently decorating the apartment for Evan. The height advantage helped. Evan pulled out the current batch of cookies to cool and put in another before washing his hands. He was done for the night. Evan felt Connor snake his arms around the shorter boy’s body and place a kiss to his neck.

”I love you” Connor breathed. “I love you so much.”

”I love you too” Evan chuckled, turning to face his fiancé.

When Connor came back his blue ends had gone away. Connor never bothered to dye them back, so he kept the mocha brown. The only thing Connor changed from coming back was that he took out his contacts so Evan could see his brown left eye.

Evan pulled Connor down for a kiss and loved how close Connor kept him. They both had become more physical/touchy since Connor had come back. Lot’s of hugs were given, honestly, if they were in the same room they would be touching. Even the most subtle thing like their hands brushing together while watching TV. Evan really couldn’t complain, he loved the attention.

Evan stepped back and broke the kiss before Connor could try to go further. That happened a lot too. Sex. They had sex a lot. Once again, Evan didn’t complain.

”Imma grab a snack” Connor mumbled. “Pick a movie.”

Evan nodded and walked back to the living room. Evan was digging through the DVDs he owned when someone knocked on the door.

Probably Jared again.

Evan opened the door and froze. The Murphy’s were at the door. He hadn’t spoke to them in quite awhile. Evan heard Cynthia gasp and knew exactly what she saw. Cynthia saw her supposed dead son, dressed in fluffy socks, grey sweats, and a purple t-shirt. Evan also knew that Connor’s hair was in a bun on the top of his head. Fuck.

Cynthia walked past Evan and over to her son. Evan turned to look and almost laughed. Connor was froze in his spot, he had a bag of potato chips in his hand with one chip half way to his mouth in the other. Cynthia brought her hands to Connor’s face and he dropped the chip back into the bag.

”Baby” Cynthia whispered, wrapping Connor in a hug.

Connor returned the hug as best as he could with his chips in hand. Connor tossed the bag to the coffee table and they thankfully didn’t spill. Zoe walked over and started hitting Connor.

”How are you here” Zoe cried. “We buried your body!”

”Evan” Larry started. “How long was Connor here?”

All the Murphy’s turned to Evan and started asking similar questions. Evan felt his anxiety pick up again. Evan felt cornered. He had a hard time breathing. Connor walked over and stood in front of Evan, reaching a hand back for him to hold. Evan took Connor’s hand and hid behind the taller boy as best as he could.

”I told Evan to not say anything” Connor stated. “It’s not his fault, I’m the one who overdosed on pills. I’m the one who killed himself.”

”If you killed yourself, how are you here” Larry demanded.

”I was dead” Connor sighed. “Then I had this weird in between stage, then I came back.”

”That doesn’t make sense” Zoe muttered.

”I t-think we s-should all sit d-down for the explanation” Evan whispered.

”Good idea Evan” Connor nodded.

-=-

Connor knew his parents thought he was batshit crazy. But he also knew that they had to believe him. Cynthia had stayed silent throughout the story while Larry scoffed whenever something weird happened. The end is when Larry noted Evan’s engagement ring.

“Who's the lucky girl Evan” Larry asked.

”Me” Connor smirked, holding up his own ring.

Evan blushed and nodded. Cynthia had a small smile on her face while Larry seemed upset. Zoe really didn’t seem to care.

”Oh my goodness it’s late” Cynthia yawned. “We should get back home. C’mon Connor.”

”I’m staying here” Connor stated.

”You don’t want to come home” Cynthia mumbled, clearly hurt.

”I’m not trying to sound mean” Connor sighed. “But it’s better if I stay here.”

“Will you come and visit” Cynthia asked.

”Yeah” Connor nodded.

”Can I stay here tonight” Zoe questioned.

”If Evan is alright with it” Cynthia said.

”S-Sure” Evan stuttered.

Larry and Cynthia left after saying their goodbyes. Connor went to grab Zoe blankets as Evan cleaned up his cookie mess from earlier. Connor found the extra blankets and pillows and grabbed one of each before placing them down on the couch.

Connor walked back to the kitchen and noted that Evan was in the shower. Zoe had somehow located their bowls and was mixing up frosting. Connor silently joined her, remembering how they used to decorate cookies together.

”I’m sorry.”

”Why did you do it?”

Connor looked over at Zoe and pulled out his bun. He reached for food coloring before speaking.

”There wasn’t any other way” Connor mumbled.

“Why didn’t you talk to me Connor” Zoe asked. “I didn’t know you felt that way.”

”Really” Connor scoffed. “That’s rich, coming from the perfect daughter. Did you never hear the rumors. Connor Murphy is suicidal, Murphy is a psycho, Connor Murphy is going to end up being a school shooter! How the hell did you not know Zoe!”

”You never talked to us” Zoe hissed. “You were always getting high off your ass. You punched things. You threatened to break down my door and kill me Connor! You were fucking horrible! All because you were too afraid to talk!”

”Oh my god” Connor chuckled. “Perfect little Zoe Murphy does know how to swear?”

”Where do you think I got it from” Zoe drawled.

”Mom and Larry knew” Connor muttered. “They saw the scars, they saw the stolen pills, they knew. Mom tried to get me help a few times, but Larry stopped it before I was given the chance for it to work.”

”Why wouldn’t they get you help” Zoe demanded.

”It would be a shame to the Murphy name” Connor laughed. “I mean, a Murphy? Having mental problems? Larry would have rather me been out of the picture than get me help. I bet he didn’t even cry, scratch that, I know he didn’t cry. I was there, floating behind Evan. Watching him and Heidi sob their eyes out.”

”That doesn’t explain what you did to me” Zoe whispered.

”I would have rather kept you away, then let you deal with my bullshit” Connor sighed.

”That doesn’t make sense” Zoe protested.

”I deflected instead of talking” Connor cried. “I couldn’t stop once I started. And since I ruined your life along with Mom’s I just kept going. The only person I let in was Evan, when I was high I would usually end up there at some point.”

”Why didn’t you ever tell me about you and Evan” Zoe asked. “You just, you were close...but you never mentioned the fact that you were dating. And tonight you looked so fucking smug, showing off the ring. And Evan seemed so freaked out when he told me about you two.”

”Fuck” Connor whispered.

”You do know that you can tell me the truth” Zoe said.

”We didn’t get together until after I was dead” Connor choked out. “Evan made that whole thing up just so it wouldn’t seem weird.”

”Like I should judge” Zoe shrugged. “How long have you been together?”

”Two months” Connor answered.

”Then why propose” Zoe snorted. “Evan didn’t have time to meet the real you.”

”Dead me was the closest to real as I will ever get” Connor smiled, lathering frosting onto the cookies. “All my problems were gone. I was happy. I didn’t feel like I had to hide. By the way, Evan proposed to me. I don’t know why, but sometimes I feel like he thinks I’m some lost cause that he feels the need to fix. Then I look at him and the way he smiles...it just...pushes the doubt away. I remember his face when I came back, and I...I love him Zo. He means everything to me.”

”I can tell” Zoe smirked.

”I still don’t fully forgive you for kissing him” Connor warned.

”I didn’t know” Zoe laughed, flicking frosting at her brother, hitting his cheek.

”You bitch” Connor gasped, flicking frosting back.

It started a fight. The two siblings threw frosting at each other while dodging. Connor couldn’t stop laughing. When Evan walked in they didn’t stop. Evan just calmly walked around the fight, grabbed two bowls of frosting, and dumped the contents onto the siblings.

”Evan” Zoe cried.

”I’ll handle it Zoe” Connor waved, feeling the frosting drip down his face.

Connor approached Evan and stared at him. Evan gave a weak smile and put the bowls down. Connor grabbed Evan and watched him make his “oh, this is happening” face before kissing him. Evan tried to pull back but Connor held him tight. Of course Evan found a way out of Connor’s hold. Evan grabbed a handful of Connor’s hair and pulled down hard.

”That’s dirty playing Hansen” Connor cried, stepping back.

”Don’t cover me with frosting then” Evan muttered, wiping his face off with a towel. “I just showered.”

”You joined the fight” Zoe recalled.

”Both of you clean up this mess” Evan commanded. “Zoe, I’m sorry.”

”SHE STARTED IT” Connor yelled.

”I don’t care” Evan sighed. “Connor, take your meds.”

Evan left to wash his face and Connor grabbed a towel.Zoe rinsed out the bowls and put them into the dishwasher before starting it. Once the kitchen was clean Connor handed Zoe some spare clothes before letting her shower. Connor took her regular clothes and threw them in the clothes washer.

Connor took his turn in the shower and threw on clean clothes before heading out to see Evan and Zoe waiting for him. They patted the middle of the couch and Connor smushed between the two.

”Did you take your meds” Evan asked.

”I’m going” Connor sighed, getting up again.

Connor took his meds before plopping back down. Zoe started the movie while Connor rested his chips into his lap. Evan leaned against Connor and hummed when Connor threw his arm around Evan’s shoulders.

”I love you” Connor said to no one in particular.

”Love you too” Zoe and Evan replied.

Connor felt great. Zoe threw a blanket over the three of them and used Connor as a pillow, Evan was curled up like a ball while burrowing into Connor’s side and playing with Connor’s ring. Connor pressed a kiss to Evan’s hair and ruffled Zoe’s. It was a good start.

-=-

Evan was a mess. Cynthia was coming to get Zoe and would be there any minute. Connor had stopped at Michael’s to talk and Evan was attempting to calm his nerves by making tea. Zoe was with Connor to make sure that there was no drugs involved.

”Why are you marrying my son” Cynthia asked.

Evan turned around and noted that Cynthia was sitting at the table. Evan sat next to her before speaking.

”Because I love him” Evan stated. “He means the world to me, and I watched him go twice. I didn’t want to lose him again.”

”I’m just worried” Cynthia sighed. “You’re 18 Evan. You’re so young, and what you went through was horrible, but I don’t want you fighting three years from now about how you two never branched out.”

”What happened Cynthia” Evan asked.

”Me and Larry won’t stop fighting” Cynthia cracked. “We were up late arguing. He kept saying that Connor had to come back, but if he’s happy here, that’s all I need. I ended up staying in Zoe’s room to keep away from him. I think we need a divorce, it’s been like this for years.”

”Have you pondered marriage counseling” Evan questioned. “I’d give that a shot before you go and throw your marriage away.”

”I guess we can try that” Cynthia sniffed. “Did Connor have you lie about anything else?”

”You found out we were friends during junior year right” Evan recalled. A nod. “We’ve been friends since freshman year. I offered him a seat at lunch and it just...happened.”

”How has your anxiety been” Cynthia smiled.

”Great” Evan nodded. “Until yesterday. I was freaking out because you all turned on me, I didn’t know what to do and things just escalated quickly.”

”I want you

to know that I fully support you and Connor” Cynthia said. “And if you need wedding help, I’m there.”

”Thank you Cynthia” Evan grinned.

Zoe and Connor came through the door and Cynthia hugged her son before leaving with Zoe. Connor came around and wrapped Evan in a hug.

”I love you” Connor murmured.

”I love you too” Evan beamed.

Chapter Text

Chapter Fourteen

Connor woke up first the next morning. His beautiful boyfr-I mean-fiancé, was snoozing next to Connor while clinging to his arm. Connor watched the shorter boy for five minutes before pulling away.

”Evan” Connor hummed. “Come on, up already. It’s Christmas.”

”No” Evan groaned, clearly still asleep.

”What kind of Christmas tree do we have Evan” Connor whispered.

”A Chris Pine” Evan smiled, opening his eyes.

Connor and Evan took a moment to watch each other. They did this often. It was like they thought the other would vanish. The looks usually stopped if one pulled the other in for a kiss. Today, Evan made the first move.

”I will never get tired of waking up next to you” Connor smiled.

Connor heard Evan snort and decided to flop down onto his fiancé. Evan just laughed more. Connor shook his head and got up, Evan trailing behind him.

”I hope you know that I only celebrate holidays because you do Con” Evan sighed.

”You never told me why” Connor mumbled, wrapping Evan in a hug.

”My mom was never home” Evan shrugged. “I just...didn’t see a point in celebrating when I was alone.”

”Well, you aren’t alone now” Connor hummed into Evan’s hair. “Why do smell like vanilla? We don’t have any vanilla!”

”It’s called conditioner” Evan chuckled. “Maybe if you showered more often you would too.”

”I shower every day, just like you” Connor snorted.

”I hide my conditioner” Evan whispered. “It’s expensive and I refuse to share.”

”I’m buying my own, and I’m gonna smell amazing” Connor stated.

Connor heard a knock at the door and Evan went to answer. Connor jumped when Heidi, Michael, Jeremy, and Heidi’s boyfriend James came walking through the door. Well, Jeremy was floating.

”Hi” Connor squeaked out.

Three of the guests waved, and Jeremy floated into the kitchen.

”I thought we could all celebrate together” Heidi beamed. “I’m sorry if we showed up early boys.”

”It’s okay Heidi” Connor assured, wrapping his mother-in-law-to-be in a hug.

”I honestly just woke up” Michael laughed, motioning to his messy hair.

”I’ll be right back” Evan mumbled, walking to the bedroom.

”I’ll see if we have snacks” Connor sighed, briskly walking to the kitchen.

Jeremy was sitting on the counter, holding his solid form. Connor walked over to the boy and embraced him.

”I just wanna talk to him” Jeremy whispered.

”Then do it” Connor said. “You said you wanted to stay a ghost, that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to your parents again. Hell, I just talked to my parents for the first time since dying a few days ago. We will be with you Jeremy. Me, Evan, Michael, even Heidi. We will all be there.”

”How did you know I was here” Jeremy asked.

”Michael doesn’t go anywhere without you” Connor deadpanned. “Also, I saw you fly in here.”

”But no one else could see me Connor” Jeremy muttered.

”Well, this is ironic” Connor chuckled. “I pranked Evan once by saying he was cursed with the ever living presence of death. Maybe this is what happens when you come back from being a ghost?”

“We should just go with it” Jeremy nodded.

Connor grabbed the container full of cookies that the Murphy siblings decorated civilly the day before and walked back into the living room. Evan came back, dressed for the day and Connor followed suit. Once everyone was ready, Connor saw Jeremy walk into the room, behind his dad.

”So, what did Jeremy look like Mr. Heere” Connor asked.

”Brown hair, blue eyes, very jumpy” Mr. Heere chuckled.

Heidi gave Connor a glance, she knew that Jeremy was a ghost. Connor nodded and smiled at Mr. Heere.

”Okay then” Connor smiled. “Jeremy, come in here.”

Jeremy floated over to the others and made himself visible, floating above Michael.

”H-Hi Ms. Hansen” Jeremy greeted. “I’m Jeremy Heere.”

”It’s nice to meet you Jeremy” Heidi grinned.

”Jeremy” Mr. Heere whispered.

”H-Hey dad” Jeremy croaked, landing on the ground.

Jeremy made himself solid and gave his dad a weak smile. Mr. Heere stood up and wrapped his son in a hug.

”Michael” James called. “Did you know he was here?”

”Yeah” Michael mumbled. “I just didn’t-”

”Thank you” James grinned. “Thank you so much! Thank you for keeping him safe.”

”When you’re dead, not much can hurt you dad” Jeremy noted. “You should thank Evan and Connor too, they helped me and Michael through a lot.”

”Right” Mr. Heere nodded. “Thank you boys.”

”They would have done the same for us” Evan mumbled, sticking himself to Connor’s side.

”Anytime” Connor added.

Everyone opened their gifts and Jeremy went to keeping the mess of wrapping paper contained. Mr. Heere watched with Jeremy, being that both were Jewish, and they talked about what had been happening over the past couple of months.

Heidi flinched when her phone buzzed in her pocket, she checked it and frowned.

”You okay Mom” Evan asked.

”Some idiot got sick and I have to cover for them” Heidi muttered. “My first Christmas off in years and this is what happens? I’m sorry Evan.”

”It’s okay” Evan assured. “I’ll see you soon.”

Heidi turned and walked out the door, after giving both Evan and Connor a hug. Michael seemed on edge and it didn’t take long for the other teens to catch on.

”Mr. Heere” Michael coughed. “Did you want to come to my apartment to discuss Jeremy?”

”Dude” Jeremy snorted. “Just tell him.”

”What” James blanked.

Jeremy chuckled and pressed a kiss to Michael’s beet red cheeks. Connor tried not to laugh as he watched the madness unfold.

”This doesn’t surprise me” Mr. Heere sighed. “But we should talk about the whole ghost thing. Thank you for having us over Evan. You too Connor.”

”Bye” Evan called.

The three walked out the door and Connor turned to Evan.

”What now” Connor asked.

”Christmas movies and snuggles” Evan suggested.

”Sounds perfect” Connor smiled, pressing a kiss to Evan’s brow.

-=-

Evam was stretched out on top of Connor as they played their third Christmas move in a row. Connor was well asleep and Evan had no plans to wake him up.

”If you only knew how much I need you” Evan whispered. “How much it hurt to see you slip away. How badly I wanted to rewind and try again. Just so everything would be better, so I could have fell in love with you sooner, so none of this pain had to happen. I would have gave everything for you Connor, and I will now.”

Evan saw a wet spot form on Connor’s shirt and the boy realized he was crying. Fuck. Evan buried his head into Connor’s neck and let the tears fall.

”Ev” Connor yawned. “Hey, it’s just Frozen, why are you crying. Babe, it’s okay. What’s wrong Evan?”

”I don’t want you to leave” Evan sobbed.

”I’m not going anywhere” Connor murmured. “I love you so much Evan. I’m not going anywhere, no matter what. I’ll be here Evan.”

Evan felt Connor wipe his tears away and press a kiss to the shorter boy’s cheek. Evan calmed down and got off of Connor.

”All we've ate today was cookies” Evan sniffed.

”Your point” Connor asked.

”Isn’t that really unhealthy” Evan chuckled.

”I dunno” Connor shrugged, grabbing another cookie. “What’s one bad day of eating?”

”Diabetes” Evan stated.

”WE WILL BE FINE” Connor cried.

Evan grabbed a cookie for himself and snuggled against Connor’s arm. They weren’t going anywhere. They had each other, that’s what mattered.

Chapter Text

Finale

• Six Months Later•

Connor was a mess. It was only five in the morning, but he was up. Connor couldn't calm down, it was finally happening. He was marrying Evan Hansen.

 "Connor" Zoe yawned. "It's still early, what are you doing?"

 "I can't sleep" Connor confessed. "Is this normal? ZoZo, I'm freaking out."

 "Calm down" Zoe shushed. "You have the right to be nervous on your wedding day."

 "We technically did all the legal stuff yesterday" Connor recalled. "So legally, I'm already married, and we changed my name back to Connor." 

 "Can you try to get a little more sleep" Zoe asked. "Like, fifteen minutes? Mom will be here soon."

 Connor nodded and laid back down. He had stayed the night back at his parents house so Evan and Connor got ready separately. Connor had to admit that after months of sleeping next to Evan, it was hard to sleep without him.

Larry had warmed up to Connor and Evan being together after two months. He even got the qualifications to marry the two boys. That way, everyone who was invited to the ceremony would know about the ghost thing. It felt good to know that Larry was trying.

When Cynthia, Alana, and Heidi arrived, they all hustled around the house to get ready. The wedding party was small. It consisted of Jared, as Evan's best man; Zoe, as Connor's maiden of honor; Alana, representing the life of the people; and Jeremy, who was representing the ghosts. Heidi was going to walk down with Evan, since Blake didn't deserve to come.

The girls, with Evan and Connor's approval, were to wear pale coral dresses, any style they choose, The boys were to wear regular black suits with coral ties. Connor had a light grey suit with a pale blue bowtie, and Evan had the same but with a regular tie.

 "Connor" Alana called. "Let me do your hair."

 Connor walker over and chuckled. This was his life now.

-=-

Evan was a mess. He was pacing the kitchen in his mom's house because he couldn't calm down. Heidi had already left with Zoe and the guys weren't here yet. A knock at the door had Evan running. Michael, Jared, and Jeremy stepped in. Larry was already at the church.

 "Evan" Jared laughed. "Seriously dude, take a chill pill."

 "Can we not use that word" Jeremy sighed.

 "Sorry Jere, forgot that was the no no word" Jared chuckled.

 "Are you okay Ev" Michael asked.

 "I don't know" Evan cracked. "It's just weird. I've been engaged for seven months, you'd think that I'm ready. I'm scared."

 "Why are you scared" Jeremy asked.

 "I've been friends with Connor since freshman year" Evan whispered. "I watched him disappear twice, it just...doesn't feel real. I'm actually marrying my best friend."

 "Well" Jared  hummed. "Let's get ready and we can try and calm those nerves of yours."

 Evan nodded as Jared pulled him along, Jeremy floating behind while Michael watched.

-=-

Connor was restless. Everyone had taken their seats and the wedding would start any minute. He felt awkward just standing up there with Larry.

 "I'm proud of you Connor" Larry smiled.

 "Thanks Dad" Connor whispered.

It was the first time he had called Larry "Dad" in years.

-=-

Evan walked over to where Heidi was standing. The teen tapped his mother's shoulder and she turned around. Heidi looked like she would start crying any second now.

 "Mom" Evan chuckled. "You can't cry. Cause then I'll start crying and it'll be a big mess."

 "B-But you grew up so fast" Heidi whispered. "And I missed so much because I was working. I'm just...so proud of you honey."

 "I love you Mom" Evan grinned.

 "I love you too baby" Heidi mumbled.

-=-

Connor saw Zoe and Jared first. They both had a ring in their hand. Zoe looked amazing, Jared was...Jared. Connor still couldn't compliment him, not yet. Alana and Jeremy followed, they both looked great. Finally it was Evan.

And oh my god, Evan looked amazing. Connor couldn't help but smile like an idiot. Evan looked so scared, but so excited at the same time. Heidi looked great too, but Connor was kinda busy to notice that. Heidi handed Evan off to Connor and sat down next to Cynthia.

 "Hi" Connor whispered.

 "Hey" Evan responded.

 "We are gathered here today" Larry began. "To join the lives of Connor Murphy, and Evan Hansen. They both agreed to write their own vows, so Connor, you may begin."

 "Okay" Connor beamed. "Evan, I met you freshman year. You offered me a seat at lunch because I was sad and alone. You watched me slip away, and I know it hurt you. You found me lying in a forest, only for me to come back a month later. I haunted you, we fell in love, and I eventually came back. And that's because you were the one who thought that burning a hoodie was the right thing to do. You  gave me my second chance Evan, and I can never repay that. Thank you for being my everything, thank you for giving me my world, and thank you for letting me spend the rest of my life with you."

 "How am I supposed to top that" Evan laughed.

 "Good luck" Connor smirked.

 "Alright" Evan sighed. "Connor, I never believed that you were crazy, even when everyone said you were. Jared, that means you. It hurt, seeing my best friend in the whole world get into problems that I couldn't fix. Hearing you sob your eyes out on my shoulder at midnight because you wanted to fix everything, but didn't know how. And you finally broke, but it wasn't the end. You came back and my life felt more full. I felt better. Ever since day one, you've been trying to guess my middle name. Anyone who already knows what it is, knows that you would never get it. So, since we are finally tying this knot, I figured that I should tell you. So, Connor James Murphy, my full name is...Evan Connor Hansen. And I can't wait to spend my life with you."

 "Seriously" Connor cried. "Heidi?"

 "It's my father's name" Heidi called.

 "May I have the rings please" Larry chuckled.

Zoe and Jared handed over the rings and went back to their spots. Larry motioned for the boys to face each other and grab their respective partners hands.I

 "Connor, you start" Larry stated. "Repeat after me. With this ring, I promise to protect and cherish you for my whole life.  For as long as we both shall live."

 "Wiith this ring" Connor murmured. "I promise to protect and cherish you for my whole life. For as long as we both shall live."

 Connor slipped the ring onto Evan's hand and squeezed it lightly. Connor could feel the tears in his eyes.

 "Evan" Larry smiled. "Repeat after me. With this ring, I promise to protect and cherish you for my whole life.For as long as we both shall live."

 "With this ring" Evan whispered. "I promise to protect and cherish you for my whole life. For as long as we both shall live."

 " If anyone has any reason to object to this marrige, please speak now or forever hold your peace" Larry boomed.

No one said a word.

 "Alright then" Larry grinned. "Connor, do you take Evan to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

 "Hell yeah" Connor beamed, tears streaming down his face.

 "Evan" Larry hummed. "Do you take Connor to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

 "Of course" Evan chuckled, his own face streaked with tears.

 "Then by the power vested in me" Larry announced. "Let it be known that on this day, you both have became my sons. I now pronounce you Mr. and Mr. Evan and Connor Hansen, you may kiss."

 Connor stepped forward, pulling Evan closer. They cupped each other's cheeks and brought their lips together. Connor hadn't felt this happy in a long time.

-=-

Evan knew not all good things could last. But he had hope about Connor. They were talking to guests who had come, honestly the only people who were new were Jeremy's friends Rich and Christine. Most of the distant family friends were coming to the reception. Of course that's when the door burst open and Blake came walking towards Evan and Connor.

"What the hell are you doing here" Connor demanded.

"I was invited to this wedding" Blake slurred.

"Are you drunk" Heidi scoffed.

"What" Blake blanked. "Can't party a little for my sons wedding?"

"I only sent him an invite so he would know" Evan whispered. "I didn't know that he would show."

"Murphy" Blake chuckled. "I wanna chat with you for a moment."

Evan was something bulky in Blake's sleeve. What was it.

"What do you need Mr. Hansen" Connor sighed.

"This is what you get for converting my son to your disgusting ways" Blake hissed.

It was a gun. He was gonna shoot Connor. Evan tackled Blake and heard a loud bang three times. Then everything cut out.

 -=-

Connor couldn't breathe. Did Evan just save him from his father in law? Jeremy flew over and held Blake down. Heidi was screaming, there was blood. What happned? Connor went to his knees and flipped Evan over. His eyes were open, but unseeing. There wasn't a heart beat.

 "Evan" Connor sobbed. "Please wake up. Please. I need you Ev."

 Connor didn't remember how long it went on, but Zoe and Larry ended up pulling Connor away when the police came. Jared and Michael had pinned Blake down by this point so Jeremy could make himself disappear. The whole next three hours were a blur. Heidi and Connor refused to speak.

The first clear thing Connor remembers is sitting down in his parents living room. Heidi was going to stay with Jared and his mom for now.

 "I want his ring" Connor mumbled.

 "What" Zoe whispered.

 "I want his ring" Connor repeated.

 "Ill text dad" Zoe assured. "Do you wanna change out of the suit?"

 Connor didn't answer. He just walked up to his room and changed into something depressed and suicidal Connor would wear. Connor curled up in his room on the bed and cried himself to sleep.

 "Connor" Cynthia  sang.

 "What" Connor moaned, rolling over to face his mother.

Cynthia held out Evan's ring. Connor accepted it from Cynthia and flipped it around in his hand before grabbing a chain from his bedside drawer and putting the ring onto the chain. Cynthia closed the clasp for Connor and pulled her son into a hug.

 "You need to eat honey" Cynthia whispered.

 "Okay" Connor nodded.

The two walked down to the dining room and were greeted by Zoe and Larry. Zoe was the ring around Connor's neck and nodded. Connor sat down and pulled his hair out of his face. He felt broken.

 "You can stay here as long as you want" Larry assured.

 "Thanks Dad" Connor sniffed.

So Connor had his family back. But at what cost? Connor knew that this would be hard, but it had to get better eventually, right?