I rushed into the hospital, not even waiting for the doors to completely open. I nervously looked around, locating the admission desk and almost running to it.
“I’m looking for Sonny- I mean, Detective Dominick Carisi,” my voice broke and tears sprang to my eyes.
“And you are?” The nurse asked.
“His- his emergency contact. I got a phone call almost an hour ago saying he was admitted here, but nobody said why.”
The nurse typed quickly in her computer and then stood up.
I did as she said, all the while biting my nails and wondering what had happened, wishing that Sonny and I had never left his bed this morning. All of a sudden, as if the nurse had read my mind, she turned and said those damn words I had been dreading since Sonny and I started dating a few months ago.
“He was shot.”
I felt my breath hitch and my hands covered my mouth.
“Shot? How? When? What?” I could feel my world spinning and I had to grab onto something.
That something turned out to be someone, specifically someone’s arms. Then I realized that we were in the waiting room and there were more people in there, and one of them was supporting me - literally.
“Detectives,” the nurse nodded at them. “This is Y/N Y/L/N. She is Detective Carisi’s emergency contact.”
Then she turned to me, again, to deliver some more news, again. “Detective Carisi is still in surgery. When the doctor finishes, he’ll come to talk to you.” And with that she left.
I was still trying to wrap my head around what she had said. Then I remembered I was not alone, and I still was in somebody’s embrace. I tried to keep my breath even as I turned around.
“Wha-,” I opened my mouth to speak but I had to swallow the nausea that was threatening to make an appearance. “What happened to Sonny?” I managed to say.
The detective who was still holding me lead me to a chair and crouched in front of me.
“He got shot in the stomach during a bust.”
I felt my heart racing as I tried to make sense of what he had said. “I- I don’t get it. This morning he said it would be a slow day filled with paperwork. I don’t-”
“Sometimes these things just happen unexpectedly,” a tall woman with chestnut hair and kind eyes said.
“I know. I’m sorry. I just-.”
She smiled sadly at me. “I’m Lieutenant Olivia Benson. This here is Sergeant Fin Tutuola. I’m sorry but you are…?”
“I’m Sonny’s girlfriend. We- We have been dating for about 9 months.”
Fin and Benson looked at each other. “We didn’t know he had a girlfriend,” Olivia said.
I let out a small smile. “I know. He said he didn’t wanna make a big deal and that his private life was, well, private. I mean, I have just recently met his parents.” My eyes widened at that. “Oh God, his parents. I need to call them. They have to know.” I tried to stand up but Fin put his hands on my shoulders.
“Don’t worry ‘bout that now. We’ll do it.”
I nodded weakly and sat down again, with my hands in my eyes. Time seemed to go by extremely slowly, but Fin and Olivia were still there, talking softly about the bust and everything that had happened.
I felt as if hours had passed when the doctor came out, looking exhausted.
“Any of you family or Detective Carisi?” He asked.
I got up and walked to him. “I’m his girlfriend and emergency contact.”
He nodded. “There were two bullets. One of them was through and through. It didn’t hit anything major. The other one was trickier. It was lodged between his organs. It hit the intestine but we managed to find it and take it out. Luckily it didn’t damage anything else. However, he lost a lot of blood so the next hours are critical.”
‘Oh God,’ I thought. I could feel myself panting, having lost my breath. I tried to nod. “Ok. Can I- Can I see him?”
“He’s still in the operating room,, then he’ll go to ICU, where you can see him for a few minutes. A nurse will let you know.”
I nodded my thanks as the doctor turned around to leave. No sooner had he disappeared than Sonny’s parents came into the room.
“Y/N?” Sonny’s father said when he saw you. “What happened?”
“He got shot in the stomach. The doctor just came out and said that they’ve managed to take out the bullets but he’s lost a lot of blood and the next hours are critical,” I said with tears in my eyes.
“Can we see him?” His mother asked.
“They’re finishing. As soon as he goes to ICU, they’ll let us know,” I told her.
Dominick Carisi Sr. Hugged his wife, who had started crying the moment she heard that Sonny had been shot. Then he looked at me and he must have thought that I also needed the strength because he hugged me too.
Not long after a nurse walked into the waiting room to tell us that Sonny was on his way to ICU, so we would be able to see him later.
His parents and I finally made our way to his ICU room to find him hooked to lots of cables. He was pale, in contrast with the dark circles under his eyes.
“Oh my God,” I whispered. He looked so… not Sonny. I was used to his smile, his mischievous eyes, the way he moved his hands as he spoke. To see him so lifeless… it was very hard.
I didn’t dare touch him for fear of breaking him, I suppose. I guess I wasn’t strong enough.
Too soon for our liking the nurse came into Sonny’s room to tell us that we had to go to let him rest. But how could we go when there was a chance that he wouldn’t make it?
“Can’t we stay with him, please?” I’m not ashamed to say that I begged her to let me stay.
“I’m sorry but that’s not possible. However, he will be under constant attention and care, so don’t worry.”
Reluctantly, we left the room. Lieutenant Benson and Fin were still in the waiting room, talking on their phones, but they hang up when they saw us coming in.
“We’ve got to go,” Olivia said. “We’ll be here first thing in the morning to see how he’s doing.” After they said their goodbyes they left, so it was only Sonny’s parents and myself in the waiting room.
“I’m staying here,” I told them. There was no way I was leaving my poor Sonny alone. I looked his mother in the face and I knew she was thinking the same, but Dominick Sr. was having none of it.
“It’s better if we go. We have to rest so that we can help him when he wakes up. I don’t want to leave him alone but there’s nothing more we can do tonight.” He was right, of course, but still.
We slowly left the hospital and Sonny’s parents were kind enough to drive me to my own apartment. Once there I changed into one of Sonny’s t-shirts and went to bed, all the while knowing I wouldn’t get any sleep that night.