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in the middle of the night, in my dreams

Chapter Text

detectiveprettybi : is there a better way to start off the break than with a hungover

spACEbar : yes. Waking up without a headache

detectiveprettybi : i dont have one!

spACEbar : good for you!

spACEbar : then again you didn’t drink as much

detectiveprettybi : true true feeling a bit dizzy tho lmao

detectiveprettybi : still trying to behave so i won’t get thrown out

spACEbar : a good plan

spACEbar : you should make breakfast to be on everyone’s good side

detectiveprettybi : GREAT IDEA

detectiveprettybi : thats why i love you

spACEbar : be glad snart is still sleeping or else he might want to have a word with u

detectiveprettybi : ohhh did you crash at their place

spACEbar : yeah i was tired af

detectiveprettybi : poor baby

spACEbar : ikr



notcis-co : youre in too good a mood cait

spACEbar : she deserves this happiness

notcis-co : yeah i know but still

snowflake : there’s extra strong painkillers in the drawer in your bathroom they should help against hangovers too

notcis-co : you’re an angel sent from above

spACEbar : aw

snowflake : hey bar u know what i just realized

spACEbar : ?

snowflake : we’ve never done anything one on one

spACEbar : holy shit youre right

spACEbar : we should change that

snowflake : well idk about u but my fiance is still asleep

detectiveprettybi : how satisfying was it to type that word

snowflake : very

spACEbar : my bf is also still asleep so yeha i could def sneak out

snowflake : nice!

detectiveprettybi : u kno you never spent time just with me either but i guess your type’s more brunette

snowflake : arent you making breakfast

detectiveprettybi : … you’re absolutely right

detectiveprettybi : and this is why you are the clever one

snowflake : :)

notcis-co : if you happen to cross jitters pls send some brownies my way

detectiveprettybi : do you think theyll cross half the city just for you

spACEbar : yeah we absolutely will

snowflake : ^

notcis-co : i love u guys

spACEbar : !!! :D

notcis-co : oh wait does that mean I have to get dressed

snowflake : nothing I haven’t seen before

spACEbar : … pls do get dressed

spACEbar : and make Hartley put on pants too

notcis-co : Hart isn’t even here :((( he slept at the Quiver :(((

heatwave : thats the saddest thing i have ever read

notcis-co : werent you just sleeping

heatwave : bar slammed the door it woke me up

notcis-co : arent u a heavy sleeper

lesbianda : mick’s either sleeping real tight or barely at all there’s no inbetween

heatwave : alcohol ruins heavy sleep

detectiveprettybi : you truly are different from the rest of the world arent you

babybibibi : at least coffee works normally for him

babybibibi : i get sleepy from coffee

notcis-co : its true give xem a cup and xe’ll sleep within half an hour

lesbianda : weird as hell ronnie

babybibibi : yeah that’s me alright

heatwave : whats the opposite of a legend

lesbianda : uhhhh a nobody?

heatwave : ure a nobody bicon

babybibibi : ill have you know odysseus was both

heatwave : odysseus was a jerk who didnt trust his wife to be faithful

heatwave : who even thinks his wife wont think he was dead after 20 fucking years

notcis-co : um

lesbianda : wow

babybibibi : did this just happen

heatwave : what did that never occur to u fuckers

babybibibi : no it did but

notcis-co : mick did snart make u read the odyssey

heatwave : no i made him read it

lesbianda : im truly speechless at this turn of events

captaincold : mick is clever get over it

captaincold : also caitlin be glad i like you

detectiveprettybi : are u so sad she stole bar away

captaincold : yes

detectiveprettybi : i’d be too

babybibibi : Hey Mick is Snart glaring at his phone

heatwave : yup

babybibibi : i swear his jealousy is gonna be the downfall of that relationship

lesbianda : what Are you talking??? downfall???

pipes : I swear they’re never gonna break up

irisbest : im pretty sure my dad ordered napkins for the wedding already

oliverqueer : the chances of them breaking up are as high as those for me falling out of love with felicity

bilance : Snart/bar stays canon forever

detectiveprettybi : noooo theyre too cute together

babybibibi : okay the fact that all of those came in less than a minute and half you guys weren’t even awake before

captaincold : they know what’s good for them

heatwave : linda your next article: local lunatic kills friends for not believing in his relationship

lesbianda : you know i can actually see that headline right in front of my eyes

babybibibi : either that or bc someone said he’s jealous

detectiveprettybi : do you want to be the first one?? be careful

pipes : ohhhh imagine eddies first case being against Snart for murdering Ronnie

babybibibi : THAT is what you're replying to that? Some kinda friend

bilance : first he steals your boyfriend now he doesn’t care about your death

babybibibi : i should cancel this friendship

pipes : :(

detectiveprettybi : IM BECOMING A COP TONIGHT


captaincold : whens the thing again

bilance : 8

heatwave : snart you have roughly 7 hours to make us disappear

oliverqueer : why!!!!!!

oliverqueer : i thought you were nice now!!!!!!

captaincold : you really think just bc we don’t steal any more we’re *nice*

babybibibi : i thought dating bar turned you nice

babybibibi : and that mick generally is just grumpy and has a questionable moral

lesbianda : well you’re not wrong

detectiveprettybi : to this day the mick/Linda friendship surprises me

pipes : put mick together with a strong lesbian and you get a brotp for life

captaincold : you know that if we all were on a ship and it started to burn mick would wait for it to sink

heatwave : the fire would die where’s the problem

oliverqueer : so would we

heatwave : where’s the problem

pipes : mick you truly are a legend

lesbianda : youre acting like thats any kind of new info smh

notcis-co : i’d gladly be burnt to death by mick

pipes : babe

notcis-co : it’s better than losing your hands because caiTLIN FREEZES THEM TO DEATH

babybibibi : its suffering

irisbest : why are you holding hands with cait i wanna hold hands with cait

notcis-co : exchange of body heat, it did not work out

notcis-co : bar resumed to just lying down on her hands

captaincold : they do radiate heat

detectiveprettybi : i could make a comment but i’d rather not be killed by snart

detectiveprettybi : so back to me! Im partying tonight!

bilance : so am i!!!!

bilance : iris btw shall we expect your dad or

irisbest : nope from what ive seen his evening plans were watching voice reruns with cecile

lesbianda : classic dad move

oliverqueer : i feel like detective west is the dad of us all

notcis-co : squad dad

irisbest : most of you havent even met him yet

detectiveprettybi : i havent met him

bilance : me neither

pipes : me neither

oliverqueer : me neither but he can still be my dad

captaincold : oliver queen would call joe west daddy: discuss

irisbest : oh god no

spACEbar : LEN

pipes : ohhhh u done fuck up

lesbianda : he ded

Chapter Text

bilance : LOOK WHO WE MET

bilance : [image attached]

lesbianda : BICH THE FUC

pipes : gasp did linda, Certified Feminist, just say bitch




captaincold : what do you call a misinformed journalist

lesbianda : if any of you says anything regarding fake news i’ll chop off their dick

lesbianda : yes cisco even your metaphorical one

notcis-co : huh

pipes : so what IS your girlfriend doing there

lesbianda : sara pls ask my girlfriend what she’s doing there

bilance : welcoming new cops i guess

bilance : she and eddie are hitting off

notcis-co : this is so wild

captaincold : someonell be getting an earful

bilance : “so does either of you know officer spivot” - my dad, just now

captaincold : i have questions

bilance : my dad works at the police academy in hub city, he’s the one who reocmmended eddie to come to central and he introduced us at the beginning of the semsster

captaincold : that actually answered all of them

notcis-co : i have no idea how the police system works it’s wild

lesbianda : does anybody know how the police system works

pipes : i feel like the police doesn’t even know how the police system works

bilance : can confirm

bilance : “dad how does the police system even work” - “[long sigh]”

notcis-co : your dad already is an icon

captaincold : he already was for hating oliver

pipes : cut the guy some slack he lets me live in his house for free

pipes : he also lets your sister live in his house for free

captaincold : damn pipes who changed you

notcis-co : he’s snappy today dw

notcis-co : tho he’s right man

bilance : did hartmon just put snart in his place

snowflake : this entire evening is so wild

lesbianda : okay so patty spontaneously went there as it seems

notcis-co : spontaneously travelling from cal to illi like if u can relate

lesbianda : dont ask me how she did it but yeah

spACEbar : hey isnt travelling between timezones basically time travelling

captaincold : you have been BANNED from saying ANYTHING related to time travel

notcis-co : ^

pipes : ^

snowflake : ^


notcis-co : you get all worked up about it

snowflake : yeah one day you’ll have a heart attack it’s not good for your anxiety bar

spACEbar : :(

bilance : hey guys

bilance : what do you say are the chances of bruce wayne having a ~10yo kid

pipes : I’m

pipes : what

bilance : well you see Bruce Wayne showed up

bilance : and with him his butler but also a small boy

notcis-co : oh my god?







captaincold : here’s the plan: talk to Wayne

captaincold : you did have a nice chat at the queens didn’t you

bilance : “oh hello Bruce nice to meet you again IS THIS YOUR FUCKING SON”

notcis-co : JUST DO IT




snowflake : I can’t believe the evening gets weirder

captaincold : Not one but two of us is involved what do you expect

snowflake : fair

bilance : oh god my dad wants to go talk to him

bilance : this will be A Thing

notcis-co : oh boy

lesbianda : oh guys patty just sent me a pic of her and Eddie

lesbianda : do i Tell her to keep him away from Bruce Wayne

captaincold : no i want something to laugh

spACEbar : dont be cruel Len

pipes : Yeah don’t be cruel Len

captaincold : I’ll murder you in your sleep

notcis-co : pls do it in the Quiver tho I can’t afford the cleaning

pipes : my boyfriend everyone

lesbianda : “Hey babe it appears that Bruce Wayne is at the ball and has a child with him. And Eddie has a fucking crush so I have no idea how he might react to that” sound good?

snowflake : what are we even expecting

snowflake : like are we shocked bruce wayne might have a kid or do we think eddie could lose his crush or

spACEbar : im fearing eddie might start a screaming contest in shock over either thing really

notcis-co : ^

notcis-co : eddie, seeing bruce: AAAAAAAAAAA

notcis-co : eddie, seeing the kid: AAAAAAAAAAAAA

notcis-co : eddie, learning the kid is bruce’s: AAAAAAAAAAAA

notcis-co : eddie, feeling his crush fade: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

pipes : nah he swallows it and pines in silence

pipes : eddie’s not as prominent as yall think

captaincold : pls tell me pretty boy can get all sulky

lesbianda : hell yeah

lesbianda : you seen that face? He’s probably rocking that look

bilance : um

bilance : so bruce wayne has. An Effect

snowflake : oh no what did you do

bilance : so apparently that kid is not his but from an orphanage and hes dreaming of becoming a police man so bruce went HEY lets take the boy to this police ball

bilance : anyway my dad went with the boy (whos name apparently is dick? Poor kid) to greet some people and show him around, leaving me alone with brucie

pipes : so did you kiss him

bilance : ???? no? I have a gf???

captaincold : yeah pretend you dont have a list

spACEbar : please continue

bilance : thank you bar, you’re the best

bilance : anyway so bruce and i chat and at one point he actually goes ‘so i never heard anything else of that guy you filmed me for’

lesbianda : oh my god

bilance : let it be known the guy has beautiful mesmerizing blue eyes and i had no control over myself

notcis-co : WHAT DID YOU DO


bilance : and now bruce wayne desperately wants to meet eddie thawne

bilance : we’re going to look for him in a moment

pipes : j e s u s



captaincold : lmao linda text your gf

lesbianda : already on it

notcis-co : “lmao” - leonard snart, 2018

lesbianda : patty says she’s gonna tell him gently

spACEbar : how gently is gently

snowflake : better expect the worst

notcis-co : i have faith in eddie


pipes : Eddie he literally has a kid with him

detectiveprettybi : yeah but also his butler

notcis-co : is Bruce Wayne even attracted to men

spACEbar : if only Oliver were here

detectiveprettybi : y’all want to see me suffer huh

captaincold : hell I dont like you but I wish you the best of luck

lesbianda : that was weird

captaincold : gotta distract yourself from my Datemate

pipes : ah

lesbianda : good to know a kid is not a dealbreaker then

snowflake : well it’s not Bruce’s

lesbianda : still got it with him

pipes : if Eddie does end up sleeping with Bruce Wayne I believe he can achieve anything

bilance : Patty and I have removed ourselves from the men in question

lesbianda : always the better move really

notcis-co : i feel like if we don’t hear anything from eddie in the next two hours he actually succeeded

bilance : bold of you to assume a police party ever ends

captaincold : didnt know cops were that much fun

bilance : jk im surprised its 10pm and theres still so many ppl

captaincold : ah

spACEbar : joe always stays out for quite long at christmas parties

pipes : oh bar

pipes : you sweet summerchild

spACEbar : oh SHIT YIKES

notcis-co : they grow up so fast

spACEbar : im older than you

notcis-co : not by much

snowflake : honestly im wishing eddie the best tbh

bilance : lowkey same

pipes : highkey same

notcis-co : get some!!!!

Chapter Text

irisbest : eddie i hope you scored

notcis-co : oh hey iris where have you been yesterday

irisbest : out with lisa

irisbest : which translates to: we annoyed mick while he worked

babybibibi : ohhh evil

captaincold : yeah he came home complaining

oliverqueer : eddie please tell me you did not sleep with bruce

pipes : so DOES he like men

notcis-co : impeccable timing babe

pipes : yeah you know me

captaincold : pipes is always there when it’s about queer billionaires

pipes : i used to be a queer millionaire so i’m just staying in my circle really

irisbest : are you boasting about something that’s no longer relevant

pipes : are you saying my parents disowning me is no longer relevant

pipes : that’s really insensitive iris west

notcis-co : calm the sarcasm hart

captaincold : queen never answered

oliverqueer : bc queen doesn’t have an answer

notcis-co : is there a way queen can elaborate on that

oliverqueer : hell im not even close enough to bruce to say whether he’s ever looked at any men

oliverqueer : and he certainly hasnt come out to me so like

babybibibi : did sara ever come back to the quiver

pipes : no eddie and her got a hotel room anyways

irisbest : no way of snooping

irisbest : incredible

captaincold : where’s linda

oliverqueer : sleeping i guess

oliverqueer : it is 8 in the morning on a sunday after all

babybibibi : smh we all have fucked up sleep schedules huh

notcis-co : bold of you to assume i ever had one

babybibibi : true

pipes : hah yeah

irisbest : bit more enthusiasm here pls its the first sunday of the break

pipes : theres many more to come

pipes : speaking of imma take a nap

notcis-co : come take one here

captaincold : boning session

pipes : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

irisbest : trash boys

pipes : at your service

oliverqueer : what’s everyone’s plans for today

oliverqueer : except sex i guess

captaincold : robbing a museum

oliverqueer : hah

irisbest : movies + ice cream with wally

babybibibi : aw which movies

irisbest : maze runner

irisbest : no you cant come we have a long overdue sister + brother bonding day

irisbest : i guess i could make an exception for other family members

oliverqueer : wait snart was kidding right

pipes : is it acceptable to cross central in sweats

captaincold : as was said it’s the first sunday of break

captaincold : it could always pass as a walk of shame

notcis-co : hartley rathaway: walk of shame PRE sex

babybibibi : do you think you could legally change your last name to pipes

irisbest : didnt we have another name for him already picked out

captaincold : i gotta admit thatd be cool af

oliverqueer : please tell me snart was kidding

pipes : babe forget the sex you need to explain to me how i can change my legal name

babybibibi : did hartley???? Just say no to sex????

captaincold : they’ll still fuck dw

babybibibi : i have actually no doubt

oliverqueer : snart

bilance : i am sad to report that

bilance : [image attached]

notcis-co : ohhh oh no

irisbest : aw poor eddie

babybibibi : rip

captaincold : how do you know he didnt just climb into bed after he and wayne got it on

bilance : do you think eddie thawne would sleep with a billionaire and let it end after one round

captaincold : maybe wayne was a bad lay

pipes : do you really think that

notcis-co : maybe eddie was a bad lay

irisbest : nope

captaincold : well then its sad


babybibibi : did snart just feel sorry for someone else

irisbest : he does that sometimes

notcis-co : aw

pipes : we are now logging off i have arrived at la casa de ramon

bilance : have fun ;)

notcis-co : he seriously greeted me with questions about name changes

notcis-co : the fun will have to wait

captaincold : pretty sure pipes is such a nerd he considers that fun

babybibibi : you know i cant actually testify to the opposite

spACEbar : am i the only one who’d advise hartley AGAINST doing that

spACEbar : hartley pipes does not have a good ring to it

bilance : pipes rathaway

irisbest : no thats still the name of the assholes


detectiveprettybi : pipes ramon

spACEbar : that actually does sound nice

captaincold : it’s settled, pipes and cisco have to marry

bilance : would you have said so if literally anyone but bar had approved

captaincold : im actually not sure

babybibibi : aw




lesbianda : EDDIE TEDDY


spACEbar : brb changing his name in my phone

detectiveprettybi : i cant believe iris embarrasses me in front of my crush

captaincold : excUSE yOU

bilance : wow

babybibibi : eddie vs snart the actual death match

oliverqueer : i hate you all

irisbest : same as oliver rlly

detectiveprettybi : bruce was not up to sex he had a kid with him

spACEbar : …. And otherwise he wouldve agreed?

detectiveprettybi : he did flirt back

detectiveprettybi : he did a lot on his own

bilance : i sure hope you did not do a lot on your own later on

detectiveprettybi : shower

bilance : hm

babybibibi : i love that we all have no sense of privacy

detectiveprettybi : i have now retreated to casual texting and hoping for the best

captaincold : inspiring

irisbest : i am so proud of you

spACEbar : well thinking about it oliver couldve always given you bruce’s number

detectiveprettybi : well fuck bar you mastermind whyd you never say so before

spACEbar : finals stress

spACEbar : it only occured to me just now

bilance : well it definitely never occured to the rest of us

babybibibi : i for one am amazed that eddie came so far

captaincold : same actually

oliverqueer : WHY DO YOU IGNORE ME

lesbianda : jesus christ oliver you big crybaby they are not robbing a bank otherwise there’s no way snart wouldve still let mick sleep

captaincold : who says that

irisbest : common sense

babybibibi : dude we kinda know you

detectiveprettybi : im pretty sure youd obsesses over a plan twenty hours before

spACEbar : len, babe,

bilance : also mick wouldve been complaining already

lesbianda : yeah so he’s still sleeping

oliverqueer : thank you linda

lesbianda : i did a service to the others not you

bilance : best gal!!!

bilance : i’ll give your girlfriend a kiss from you

lesbianda : youre meeting again???

detectiveprettybi : they agreed that we’d bring patty to the airport

irisbest : thats still so wild honestly

babybibibi : what isnt in this group

Chapter Text

lesbianda : hey cisco can i ask you something about your transition

lesbianda : like its not general interest more in your personal one

notcis-co : uh yeah sure

notcis-co : not like anyone here has any secrets tbh

captaincold : i kinda wish we did

oliverqueer : amen

irisbest : awomen

lesbianda : ok so i’ve seen multiple vlogs of trans men who just. Let their beards grow and i was just wondering if you ever had one

lesbianda : bc i cant imagine it and i need To Know

detectiveprettybi : now that’s an interesting question

babybibibi : the answer is a sad no

notcis-co : it’s a happy no because i would look ridiculous with a beard

notcis-co : we had this discussion often enough

babybibibi : you never tried it!!!!

notcis-co : because even caitlin said it’d look bad!

oliverqueer : woah caitlin saying something negative seems v final

detectiveprettybi : idk i think it could look good

babybibibi : thank you

irisbest : i cant really picture it

captaincold : theres only one solution

captaincold : PIPES

oliverqueer : if this actually summons him im impressed

lesbianda : do you guys want to pressure cisco into growing a beard by involving his boyfriend

notcis-co : you know as much as i hate this im curious what he has to say

notcis-co : also im sure snart already called him to have him enter the chat and look like he has the ability to summon hart

captaincold : lies and slander

pipes : hello i was summoned

captaincold : goddammit pipes

pipes : …. by this chat only and not by text messages?

pipes : anyway whats up

oliverqueer : scroll up, you’re in for drama

babybibibi : eye emoji

notcis-co : notepad emoji

lesbianda : magnifying glass emoji

irisbest : teapot emoji

oliverqueer : why the teapot

irisbest : getting the tea ready to sip later

oliverqueer : …. Okay

pipes : oh uh

pipes : listen im a twink who likes twinks

captaincold : are you saying i am a twink

pipes : ….

pipes : i like a twink /at the moment/?

oliverqueer : im new to the queer men club so lemme ask: *is* cisco a twink tho

babybibibi : that more than anything probably

captaincold : hm maybe a circuit queen

detectiveprettybi : ive never seen him shirtless but i feel like he’s not muscular enough

irisbest : it’s like youre speaking another language

notcis-co : honestly not even i know what that is

lesbianda : lemme try my hand

lesbianda : i know for sure that mick is not a bear

captaincold : ofc mick is not a bear a bear is hairy

oliverqueer : so what is he

pipes : a jock

babybibibi : huh yeah. Makes sense

irisbest : i don’t understand any of these

notcis-co : yeah it’s confusing shit that i try to avoid

lesbianda : i cant even differentiate between butch and femmes

lesbianda : i sure hope there’s not more categories for lesbians that i don’t know about

pipes : being gay is a chore

pipes : a fun chore tho

detectiveprettybi : literally which chore is fun

notcis-co : organizing your books

lesbianda : organizing in general

babybibibi : ohhh agreed

irisbest : can we get back to why cisco won’t become a bear

notcis-co : bc it looks like shit

babybibibi : you never tried!!!

babybibibi : hartley tell him to try!

pipes : …

pipes : i am a firm believer in people making their own choices

detectiveprettybi : coward

lesbianda : why do lots of trans men make the choice to grow their facial hair

lesbianda : can i finally get an answer

notcis-co : lots of people are trying out what they can do with the extra T

notcis-co : but honestly latinos have more than enough body hair anyways, ive been used enough to shaving lol

irisbest : oh relatable

lesbianda : hell yeah same

pipes : wait are u telling me people with more estrogen grow facial hair

irisbest : i

irisbest : haRTLEY

lesbianda : HARTLEY WHAT


lesbianda : ARE YOU KIDDING ME

irisbest : WHAT THE FUCK

notcis-co : HONES T LY

pipes : … i feel stupid

babybibibi : yoU SHOULD

irisbest : oh my god im so

captaincold : what the fuck pipes

lesbianda : i thought you couldnt be more ignorant about women than a straight boy

lesbianda : but damn gay cisboys are truly something

oliverqueer : id actually been surprised hartley isnt scared of vaginas

pipes : i feel attacked


heatwave : h a r t l e y

captaincold : okay who wrote this because it sure as hell wasnt mick

heatwave : Sara

detectiveprettybi : im scared of sara and mick hanging out together

pipes : hey eddie you were awfully quiet while i got busted

detectiveprettybi : i was literally left speechless

detectiveprettybi : like… that’s basic shit

pipes : ill have yall know i never even had sex ed

lesbianda : wait what

notcis-co : we literally had half a semester on that in bio class

notcis-co : like i know we werent in the same but it was in the curriculum

pipes : parents kept me out of it

pipes : if it went their way i’d still wonder where kids come from

irisbest : holy shit

captaincold : damn who taught you

pipes : internet

pipes : also spring awakening

irisbest : ofc spring awakening

heatwave : what’s spring awakening

notcis-co : oh boy

irisbest : i heard from bar how bad he is about it

irisbest : rip to both sara and mick

heatwave : aaaand he’s calling

detectiveprettybi : goodbye

oliverqueer : in short what is it

babybibibi : his fav musical

oliverqueer : ah

lesbianda : i will now retreat to writing an angry post about sex ed

irisbest : i literally cant believe the assholes

captaincold : honestly even my father gave me the talk

detectiveprettybi : impressive

captaincold : granted only bc he thought i’d fuck around and accidentally have a kid that’d be a burden bc obvsly they are nothing but that

detectiveprettybi : … sure

babybibibi : i cant believe people like that exist

irisbest : sadly they do

captaincold : not for much longer hopefully

oliverqueer : … i will just pretend this relates to a change of times and not death

detectiveprettybi : it’s for the better ollie

Chapter Text

pipes : im tired

lesbianda : then go to bed??

lesbianda : it’s break who cares if it’s only noon

pipes : i’m sure dr christina mcgee would care

irisbest : ohhhh ure at work

bilance : a moment of silence pls

pipes : you guys are awful

snowflake : go get that money hartley!!!!

pipes : thanks ronnie

snowflake : how do you guys always do that

bilance : contrary to popular believe you and your gf are NOT the same person

snowflake : excuse me she’s my fiaNCEE


lesbianda : IKR


snowflake : GIRL ME TOO

pipes : even I do not have the words

bilance : hartley it’s been established that you’re not a source of common sense

pipes : rude

lesbianda : you fucked up

oliverqueer : good morning and by good i mean bad bc tommy woke me up by jumping on the bed


snowflake : it’s past noon

bilance : the only times oliver gets up before noon is when he has class

pipes : what did the man want

oliverqueer : god he’s flipping out bc thea is visiting in A WEEK

oliverqueer : tho he pretends he’s just worried roy and sin won’t be comfy enough

irisbest : who are they

bilance : roy’s her bf and we’re not rly sure but we think they both might be dating sin as well but maybe not

lesbianda : wild

captaincold : digging the name sin here

pipes : god i love snart’s timing

oliverqueer : yeah they chose it well

bilance : currently wondering whether three-letter-names are a must-be for they pronoun users

irisbest : it almost seems like it

snowflake : we should make a study about that

pipes : great! We know two people who use they pronouns and they both have three letter names, the rate is 100% at this point

lesbianda : thank you very much

pipes : more interesting than this paper anyways

oliverqueer : getcha head in the game


captaincold : no

pipes : rude

lesbianda : if we do that i’ll not shut up about the fact that gabriella and sharpay are lesbians

bilance : ryan evans, a canonical gay icon

oliverqueer : didn’t he end up with the pianist




irisbest : i’ll say it loud and clear troy bolton is the only hetero in that goddamn series

lesbianda : truth

oliverqueer : okay i get it

pipes : damn i wish i could listen to music here

snowflake : shall we sing to you

captaincold : god please no

pipes : noooooooo that’d only make it worse

captaincold : i agree

irisbest : oh hey snart can you tell bar to come home soon

captaincold : they’re not here

irisbest : what

irisbest : where are they

captaincold : idk maybe out with cisco?

pipes : nah cisco’s with eddie only

bilance : yeah i saw them earlier

snowflake : they’re not with cait either she’s boxing with mick

oliverqueer : that is still so incredible

lesbianda : why do you have her phone even ronnie

snowflake : she left it at home for less distractions

irisbest : so where is bar

lesbianda : maybe they’re having a life of their own

pipes : yeah don’t copy your dad’s controlling behaviour iris

irisbest : i’m not!!!!!

irisbest : just ik we all love the shit outta them but they don’t actually have rl friends outside this group so

captaincold : dw they’re probably just chillin somewhere alone


notcis-co : [image attached]

oliverqueer : oh my god

pipes : outstanding babe


notcis-co : IT’S LITERALLY ME


notcis-co changed their username to transco


detectiveprettybi : WHY IS IT CALLED TRANSCO

lesbianda : my guess is that it’s short for transport company or something

snowflake : god ever since i have known cisco he points at any truck that reads “trans__” and says ‘that’s me!’

snowflake : and now finally,,,

detectiveprettybi : god i just caught up i hope bar is okay tell them i love them

captaincold : no

irisbest : so they ARE with you!

captaincold : they aren’t

captaincold : it should be a general rule that we don’t let eddie flirt with ppl

lesbianda : hm yeah

oliverqueer : definitely

bilance : yeah

irisbest : he can flirt with me any time

pipes : god get a room

transco : ronnie is the only one who understands me :(

snowflake : sike shouldn’t have broken up with me




irisbest : SHOTS FIRED 

Chapter Text



transco : they still didn’t show up?????

irisbest : `NO


bilance : damn i kinda regret that we made the detective drop his alerts now


detectiveprettybi : damn wheres snart

oliverqueer : he said he didnt have a clue where they are

detectiveprettybi : yeah but maybe he knows now!

lesbianda : he’s asleep

lesbianda : and there’s no sign of them anywhere

transco : we’ll come back to you crashing at snart’s after we fOUND MY BEST FRIEND

detectiveprettybi : we should build teams

detectiveprettybi : cisco you and caitlin go search near campus

detectiveprettybi : linda you and the katy perry song search near the river

transco : got that

oliverqueer : sara lets take the north of the city

detectiveprettybi : iris we’ll take big belly/jitters

lesbianda : good thinking

irisbest : STOP

irisbest : NO NEED FOR THAT

irisbest : i have received a message, they’re well


detectiveprettybi : BOY AM I GLAD TO HEAR THAT

detectiveprettybi : I WAS SO WORRIED

irisbest : secret location, they need a time out

transco : :(

oliverqueer : why didnt they just tell us

lesbianda : im taking a wild guess and say: social anxiety

detectiveprettybi : they don’t need to tell us everything you dingus

bilance : yeah oliver respect other people’s privacy

oliverqueer : why do our conversations always end up with y’all hating on me

pipes : natural flow of the world

transco : easy babe he lets you live in his house

transco : this flat is not made to keep two people for a longer period of time

pipes : </3

lesbianda : are you guys already talking about moving in together. I’m

pipes : no pay attention we’re talking about how don’t move in together

detectiveprettybi : you’re precious nerds

captaincold : hey iris tell me where my datemate is

irisbest : no

captaincold : do it

irisbest : no

irisbest : they didn’t even actually talk to *me*

irisbest : so give them their time alone

lesbianda : he huffed and threw his phone in the corner before stomping into the bathroom

lesbianda : that’s actually kinda precious as well

transco : linda what exactly are you even do there

lesbianda : i crashed here

lesbianda : mick and i were out and i was too tired to leave

bilance : *inhales* youNG LADY

lesbianda : i know how dare i, a lesbian, sleep in the same place as a taken man and my aroace bestie

irisbest : i love that you caught up on this right away

lesbianda : do you know how often my parents forgot that i did, in fact, come out to them

lesbianda : so many hook-ups their heteronormativity granted me

pipes : you’re truly living a dream

detectiveprettybi : linda park for president 2k20

transco : i thought we’d make the rock president next

oliverqueer : interesting but consider: not only the first female president but also asian AND a lesbian

bilance : that was a clever comment oliver i am proud of you

oliverqueer : one day i will murder you in your sleep

heatwave : best do it while she’s asleep, otherwise you’d have no chance

irisbest : sick burn!!!!!

transco : morning mick

heatwave : hey lil one

irisbest : damn is linda’s presence making mick a friendlier person

lesbianda : nah he’s just not awake enough yet to be himself

bilance : eddie just squealed when dig brought around his mail

transco : he brings you ur mail???? He’s truly the best

irisbest : what happened

oliverqueer : he lost his speech hang on


bilance : [image attached]

bilance : LOOK AT THE MAN GO

lesbianda : WAIT WHAT


heatwave : damn ur truly becoming a cop arent ya

irisbest : is that

irisbest : A JOB INTERVIEW

lesbianda : I’D SAY SO

lesbianda : WITH MY BOY DAVID



pipes : it’s up to me to summarize the screaming contest

pipes : he’d thought so too

pipes : according to sara it’s close to already being hired there

pipes : dig and laurel reason it’s nothing certain yet

pipes : oliver is making a toast

pipes : oh and lisa and bar just showed up at last


lesbianda : SCREAMS

captaincold : woah woah woah

captaincold : trail back to that last thing why are my sister and my datemate showing up together

irisbest : oh yes apparently bar chose to hide in one of the empty rooms in the quiver

irisbest : and your sister was the only one at home at that point so she hid them

captaincold : since when does she have your number

irisbest : she doesn’t, hartley told me

captaincold : PIPES

babybibibi : i already worked out today so i can eat popcorn now right

transco : i hate that you get up early

transco : but yeah lets see my bf get destroyed


pipes : and I figured BAR would want me to keep quiet

pipes : Let Them Have A Break™

captaincold : …. Fine

captaincold : couldve texted me tho. Either of you

pipes : shrUG emoji

babybibibi : hartley averting trouble simply by pointing at bar is a mood

irisbest : honestly i feel like you could shit on snart’s fav painting and get away with your life if you just make him think of them

lesbianda : it’s so cute

lesbianda : he’s flustered

lesbianda : [image attached]

bilance : awwwwww


irisbest : didnt we already establish that he needs reading glasses

transco : I THINK NOT


detectiveprettybi : GUYS I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW

babybibibi : WE KNOW

irisbest : PROUD OF YOU BB

bilance : im starting a betting pool on how fast eddie’s gonna fall in love with the captain who’s in

lesbianda : oh me

irisbest : yep

heatwave : i put 10 bucks on bad flirting on top of that

oliverqueer : i think he can differentiate about private and professional life so i hold against that

detectiveprettybi : i’m… not that bad

pipes : dude

pipes : im horny for every guy but you write hymns for everyone you encounter basically

captaincold : pipes is right

pipes : course i am

captaincold : you’re still on thin ice

babybibibi : COLD PUN!!!!!!!

bilance : im proud of ronnie for finally learnign xyr puns

babybibibi : thanks

Chapter Text

spACEbar : hey linda can you meet up with me

spACEbar : ill pay your jitters order

transco : bar!!!! Whats up are u alright

spACEbar : yea!

spACEbar : sorry for worrying you guys it was…. Depression Time™

snowflake : :(((( hugs

spACEbar : <3

captaincold : why would you speak to my *sister* but not to me

spACEbar : well

spACEbar : i felt like being alone for some time and the first thing i thought about was a guest room in the quiver

spACEbar : lisa was the one who was there when i showed up so,

transco : did you plan on breaking into the quiVER

spACEbar : no i just hoped not too many people would be present when i showed up

transco : amazing

snowflake : what was wrong can we help you in any way

captaincold : do you want to come over? mick’s sleeping

spACEbar : i should get home first

spACEbar : i think joe’s gonna be pretty pissed so that’s why i asked linda to meet up

detectiveprettybi : well that’s safe thinking

detectiveprettybi : imagine if you’d been AWOL and suddenly you showed up with snart

spACEbar : anyway i just felt overwhelmed bc holidays and feeling useless and yeah

spACEbar : what better method to deal with that than lying in bed the whole day and binging this netflix show about gay guys giving ppl make-overs

pipes : THAT’S what you have done and you did not tell me,

pipes : why what is that magical show

transco : yeah it sounds exactly like hartley’s shit

snowflake : gay and judging people? It’s him

pipes : thanks ronnie

snowflake : no that was me

transco : wow

spACEbar : queer eye!!!

pipes : thanks ill check that out

detectiveprettybi : oh ill join you

pipes : nice

lesbianda : ohh you dont need to buy me breakfast

lesbianda : tho it would truly be appreciated

captaincold : what did i do to you

spACEbar : i value your life

irisbest : i already told dad you needed a break

irisbest : he’s not pissed but he wishes you had told him before disappearing

spACEbar : … ill still take linda as my shield

lesbianda : i want to see my fav detective again anyways!

detectiveprettybi : here i thought im your fav detective

transco : youre not a detective yet

detectiveprettybi : …

detectiveprettybi : nice safe

spACEbar : iris do u want something from jitters

irisbest : ohhh bring donuts? <3

irisbest : a whole lot actually bc jax kinda forgot to go home last night

detectiveprettybi : whos jax

captaincold : someone’s jealous

bilance : says leonard snart, the most jealous man known to earth

spACEbar : wally’s bf

pipes : wait

transco : wait i thought he had a gf

irisbest : BAR

spACEbar : OH SHIT

spACEbar : i did NOT say anything

babybibibi : is it a genderfluid datemate who feels like a boy today

heatwave : he’s fucking 2 ppl

irisbest : no ew

spACEbar : excUSE YOU

irisbest : wally is a BABY who does NOT fuck ANYONE

spACEbar : he’s a KID

lesbianda : wow

pipes : i had my first time with 14

irisbest : youre a heathen

pipes : could a heathen speak 6 languages, start school a year earlier than other kids AND get a bachelor’s without doing anything for it

transco : easy babe youre not there yet

detectiveprettybi : yeah if anyones a baby here its hartley

captaincold : stop

transco : ew you make me sound like a pedo like that

babybibibi : back to the matter at hand…

snowflake : wally is dating two people?

snowflake : ronnie is currently grinning like xe xemself invented being poly

bilance : precious

irisbest : yeah

irisbest : which joe doesn’t know

spACEbar : came to confide in us bc we’re The Best Big Siblings You Could Have

irisbest : also bc bar’s become like, a queer icon to him and im just always in the loop

irisbest : #trustworthy

lesbianda : ah i get

bilance : yeah i can see how west could be overwhelmed by that actually

babybibibi : but good for them!!! I hope they get around to tell him one day

spACEbar : so yeah ill bring donuts for jax too

spACEbar : im almost at jitters @ linda

pipes : when the fuck did you leave

spACEbar : dig snuck me out

detectiveprettybi : dad <3

pipes : excuse you *I* have chosen for dig and laurel to be my parents

bilance : nephew!

pipes : auntie!

oliverqueer : i feel like some people here havent gotten enough sleep

oliverqueer : otherwise, bar if you need a time-out again youre welcome to stay in the guest room any time

oliverqueer : except next week bc thats when thea & co are staying here

spACEbar : thanks <3

bilance : sorry nyssa and i skyped the whole night

lesbianda : bar i’ll be right there i gotta scare off this dude here first

heatwave : what’ he doing

lesbianda : sitting

lesbianda : [image attached]

bilance : oh my god kill him

transco : why are cis dudes like that!!!

detectiveprettybi : dick’s gotta breathe

irisbest : oh my god

irisbest : oh mY GOD

heatwave : hah i know who aint getting any soon

detectiveprettybi : i realized i might have said something stupid right when i hit send

detectiveprettybi : i will now pretend that im dead

spACEbar : i think it’s for the better

bilance : unbelievable

lesbianda : i am now off the subway

lesbianda : [image attached]

lesbianda : bar is a sight for sore eyes

transco : <3333

bilance : them!

oliverqueer : is that another of tommy’s shirts

pipes : yeah

snowflake : is it weird that i want to try one of those too

transco : nope

irisbest : nah

captaincold : actually i gotta agree

babybibibi : amazing

Chapter Text



babybibibi : my life is currently flashing before my eyes

babybibibi : what did i dO


pipes : he has a what now

babybibibi : WHAT

transco : [image attached]

transco : ??????


pipes : holy sHIT

pipes : that man SCREAMS gay

transco : i know babe

pipes : this is both my worst nightmare and sweetest dream

transco : i know babe

babybibibi : ????? where did he come from

detectiveprettybi : where did he go

oliverqueer : where did he come from cotton eye joe

detectiveprettybi : yay ollie <3

detectiveprettybi : what i actually meant to say


oliverqueer : and he’s screaming

detectiveprettybi : why should ronnie of all people know that

transco : did he take out his aids

oliverqueer : probably

transco : lmao good luck surviving that

transco : eddie. My dude. My pal. My friend.

transco : u do know ronnie is wells’ TA yes

detectiveprettybi : OOOHHH

detectivepretttybi : i just knew xe is *a* TA not whose

lesbianda : investigating isnt your forte

oliverqueer : i thought thats what we have you and iris for

babybibibi : that is indeed his twin im screaming

babybibibi : henry rudolph “hr” wells, writer and also, funnily enough, the inventor of this chat

lesbianda : henry rudolph.

babybibibi : get the best thing: his husband is called *randolph*. Life is brilliant

lesbianda : did he just say henry rudolph

detectiveprettybi : ya scroll up

transco : why

irisbest : WHAT THE FUCK

spACEbar : oh my god

spACEbar : literally what

lesbianda : im pissing myself

lesbianda : someone get snart

spACEbar : hang on

oliverqueer : anyone else confused?

babybibibi : does life get even more brilliant

pipes : did snart like dance with him at s&s or what

captaincold : i love coincidences

spACEbar : guys my second name is henry

transco : yes i know

detectiveprettybi : so i have been told

irisbest : yeah but wally’s second name is rudolph

babybibibi : NO

lesbianda : YES

pipes : NO

spACEbar : YES

oliverqueer : oh my god


lesbianda : let me summarize: hartmon’s physics prof, whom hart had a boner for & who helped him get a job plus who IS ronnie’s boss, has a gay twin brother who bears the names of bar and wally

bilance : that almost makes up for being woken up by screaming

transco : my whole life just changed

babybibibi : oh my god it gets better

babybibibi : both wellses’ spouses have the same last name

babybibibi : WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

detectiveprettybi : where the hell are you looking this up

spACEbar : imagine if they just married siblings

oliverqueer : oh god

pipes : i cant believe there’s a GAY WELLS

pipes : ill go and sob in a corner now

transco : you do that

irisbest : hartley better get something nice for valentine’s

irisbest : gotta fix his broken heart



captaincold : did that just actually happen

lesbianda : oh right guys patty is here for valentine’s

lesbianda : so if any of you want to meet her

detectiveprettybi : PATTY!!!!

bilance : YES PATTY

spACEbar : i want to meet her!!!!

captaincold : you can just not ON valentine’s

lesbianda : well we obvsly have our own plans

snowflake : aw snart and bar are going out

spACEbar : ………..

spACEbar : we’re dating

spACEbar : that’s what ppl who are dating do

irisbest : shhh she’s still a shipper

transco : do you think i really need to up my plans now

oliverqueer : what were your plans

transco : musical & chill

heatwave : nerds

captaincold : spoken by someone who, to this day, has “if i were a rich man” as his ringtone

heatwave : spoken by the guy who dragged me into a cheap version of the musical & actlly was the one to set it as my ringtone

captaincold : but you never changed it

spACEbar : holy hell

babybibibi : bar’s musical boner thrives

spACEbar : i love you

captaincold : judaism: making cute ppl love you since i don’t even know when

detectiveprettybi : don’t you wanna say it back

captaincold : not here

snowflake : aw

irisbest : i think hartley appreciates a good musical and good sex, you might be fine cisco

transco : yay

spACEbar : what are you gonna watch

transco : newsies live on stage

oliverqueer : oh isnt that the one with??? Christian bale

transco : the movie yeah but not on stage obvsly

transco : also damn youre old ollie

oliverqueer : shut up

oliverqueer : im pretty sure im younger than the movie

bilance : i googled

bilance : yeah but only by a month

oliverqueer : s h i t

spACEbar : ive been meaning to check out the musical for a while but that one dude weirds me out

irisbest : since when are there creepy dudes in that

lesbianda : *besides pulitzer

irisbest : yeah

spACEbar : i swear the main dude looks 1:1 like kara’s best friend

irisbest : srsly????

transco : [image attached]

pipes : what the hell he looks like a dude i fucked once

spACEbar : he looks eXCATLY like winn!!!!!!!

detectiveprettybi : oh my god

babybibibi : hartley was yours called winn

pipes : not that i remember

babybibibi : crisis averted

bilance : ronnie, as the captain of this chat, i am giving you an award

oliverqueer : why are you even the captain!!!

babybibibi : aw thanks

oliverqueer : i opened this chat

oliverqueer : i am the admin

oliverqueer : i have the power

bilance : go kiss your gf ollie

oliverqueer : … ill do that

snowflake : thats why youre the captain

bilance : thanks

Chapter Text

detectiveprettybi : happy valentines daaaayyyyyy

detectiveprettybi : heres a heart bc i LOVE YOU ALL so MUCH

detectiveprettybi : [image attached]

lesbianda : yikes a depressed single

detectiveprettybi : im not depressed im FULL OF LOVE

bilance : eddie lets go to saints tonight

irisbest : wait youre not a depressed single

bilance : im a depressed long distance relationship girl

detectiveprettybi : fair

irisbest : linda is mick working tonight

lesbianda : could be im not sure

lesbianda : tbh i literally dont care for any of your plans tonight

lesbianda : my mind is occupied

detectiveprettybi : by LOVE

lesbianda : lol yea

lesbianda : im actuall on my way to the airport rn!!!!!!

irisbest : ahhh!

irisbest : gurl enjoy your time

bilance : eddie’s talked about love so much i’m surprised neither bar nor cait showed up yet

detectiveprettybi : ikr where are they

irisbest : bar’s currently out with wally

bilance : buy presents for the datemates?

irisbest : i’d dare say

detectiveprettybi : awwwwww

heatwave : im getting drunk tonight

bilance : since when are you a depressed single

lesbianda : nah he gets drunk every night

heatwave : ^

snowflake : that’s not good!

heatwave : how tf

detectiveprettybi : i swear cait has a sensor for unhealthy behaviour

bilance : no then she’d never be offline

irisbest : u right

snowflake : no seriously you can’t get drunk everyday

heatwave : not drunk drunk

heatwave : i cant pay so much

pipes : my grandfather’s doctor told him to drink a glass of red wine every night

snowflake : NOOOOOO

lesbianda : borderline alcoholic i told him

snowflake : honestly

snowflake : mick pls do not continue drinking every day

heatwave : i like alcohol

bilance : we all like alcohol

bilance : still

captaincold : if you can pull this off then i applaud y’all

captaincold : don’t expect an answer tho he just went to the bathroom

irisbest : did mick actually wake up before you

captaincold : im as surprised as you are

detectiveprettybi : #miracles

oliverqueer : you are impossible to ignore

irisbest : why do i feel like oliver has been awake since 4am to make sure all his plans are in order

bilance : v likely

oliverqueer : you are wrong

pipes : it was 5am i met him in the kitchen

lesbianda : aw

oliverqueer : HARTLEY

irisbest : why was hartley awake does he have secret plans for tonight as well

detectiveprettybi : nah just a fucked up sleep schedule

pipes : ^

snowflake : you and cisco fit so well

lesbianda : where is he anyways

spACEbar : with me

spACEbar : we figured if wally knows anyone who has experience with poly relationships its cisco

spACEbar : anyway

spACEbar : [video attached]

detectiveprettybi : it sounds like a rap battle dhfkfj

pipes : ladies and gentlemen the issue on the table

pipes : heteronormativity

lesbianda : monogamy

captaincold : straight people as always

bilance : all valid

oliverqueer : so did you tell wally you accidentally blurted out he’s dating two ppl

irisbest : i didnt say anything

spACEbar : me neither

spACEbar : he didnt even tell me he wanted to pick up cisco we suddenly stopped in front of his house

snowflake : i didnt know cisco and wally are friends

spACEbar : nah they arent

irisbest : not yet anyways

spACEbar : this is wild but apparently he has a hacker friend who found out cisco’s address

captaincold : i love this kid

bilance : ‘there’s other hackers than felicity????’ - oliver probably

oliverqueer : no???

oliverqueer : i know there’s other hackers

detectiveprettybi : for example her ex right

pipes : wow did you already unlock her sad backstory

captaincold : you didnt?

oliverqueer : snart i really hate when you do that

irisbest : we all do

snowflake : pretty sure bar doesn’t hate it

pipes : neither does mick probably

heatwave : oh no i sure hate it

bilance : are we talking about snart playing into his villain scheme

bilance : because i for one dig that

pipes : i have grown to dislike the phrase dig smth

oliverqueer : yeah its weird when you have a friend with that name

pipes : like in marauders fics where the word ‘serious’ is banned

detectiveprettybi : youre such a nerd

detectiveprettybi : it’s adorable

transco : it is

transco : but is it as adorable as THIS

transco : [image attached]

bilance : that’s so tacky i love it

babybibibi : are those MEMES on VALENTINES CARDS

pipes : oh no does that mean i get such a hideous thing

transco : you all will

transco : you can create some yourself

transco : i love central city

detectiveprettybi : i seriously cant say if im happy or not

spACEbar : we will now invest ourselves in this until it’s almost date time

transco : bye!

Chapter Text

oliverqueer : um

oliverqueer : i may be unofficially engaged now

bilance : weren’t you already

oliverqueer : nO???

irisbest : WHAT


oliverqueer : it’s awkward actually

oliverqueer : but basically during dinner i just randomly said ‘god i wanna marry you’

oliverqueer : and felicity went okay

detectiveprettybi : ofc u’d fuck up finally proposing

oliverqueer : ikr

oliverqueer : not sure what to feel

irisbest : ok but nobody is surprised you agree on marrying each other, that’s common knoledge

irisbest : you still have a chance for a big proposal

detectiveprettybi : do a classic and ask her dad for her hand

detectiveprettybi : hashtag romance

bilance : more like hashtag sexism

detectiveprettybi : ;( that’s what i’d do

irisbest : oh darling,

oliverqueer : she doesnt talk to her dad

oliverqueer : he’s in prison

transco : god dammit

transco : why does everyone here have a parent in prison

bilance : chillax she’s not even in this chat

pipes : “chillax” - sara lance, 2018

irisbest : i cant believe the first thing you both do after waking up together is check this chat

pipes : who says it’s the first thing we did

transco : yeah we’ve been awake and busy for a while

pipes : ;)

detectiveprettybi : no surprise here

oliverqueer : so like i said it’s not official anyways

bilance : bc theres no ring?

oliverqueer : bc theres no ring

irisbest : i cant tell if that was psychic or an answer

detectiveprettybi : i miss dig

bilance : yeah im hungry

irisbest : why did he have to have a date too

transco : let the man live

oliverqueer : im inviting everyone for breakfast at jitters

oliverqueer : were heading there now so yall can join

detectiveprettybi : oliver i love you

irisbest : same

bilance : we’re gonna work on getting mick up then

oliverqueer : linda if you wanna come you can bring patty too

pipes : mick stayed in the quiver?

pipes : just how did you explain to the detective that he didn’t go back to his apartment?

transco : yeah i mean is he suddenly a fan of bar and snart spending the night together all alone

detectiveprettybi : they did come out to him as ace didnt they

irisbest : yea also dad had a date of his own that shoulda kept him busy

transco : eye emoji

irisbest : the only reason i didnt think of an excuse yet

pipes : did you get some

detectiveprettybi : dude we were both depressed singles on valentines

detectiveprettybi : ofc

pipes : nice

oliverqueer : i just realized something

bilance : oh dear

oliverqueer : eddie and detective west might work in the same station soon

transco : oH

detectiveprettybi : oh shit

irisbest : …

irisbest : suddenly i don’t want you around any more eddie

irisbest : off you go to blüdhaven

detectiveprettybi : that’s valid

pipes : it was nice knowing u

transco : we are currently leaving my apartment

transco : are you already at jitters

oliverqueer : almost

detectiveprettybi : sara has managed to wake up mick

detectiveprettybi : a fearless person that one

lesbianda : i love sara

lesbianda : thanks for the invite oliver we’ll stop by once we’re presentable

bilance : sweet

heatwave : food

transco : [image attached]

transco : come get it


spACEbar : :DDDD

detectiveprettybi : someone had a good time

captaincold : we’re very curious about the woman who makes linda park go all mushy

pipes : same

bilance : event: we will now see if mick’s bike can carry four ppl

oliverqueer : you are two daughters of cops, a future cop and a convict

irisbest : it’s enough to bail us out

pipes : good luck

spACEbar : god please be careful

spACEbar : also :( that mick has his bike

pipes : bar has a motorbike kink pass it on

captaincold : it took a while to develope but i’m glad it happened

transco : hfkdndmd,d

pipes : he’s actually cackling

captaincold : they went from shitting themself upon just seeing the bike to wanting to take it everywhere

captaincold : i am seriously delighted by that

captaincold : and now, if you’ll excuse me, i will be smothered to death

lesbianda : i love that he has enough chill to text that first

pipes : it’ll just end in making out

lesbianda : you’d know

pipes : ya

irisbest : [image attached]

irisbest : we walked in and mick immediately mentioned the unofficial engagement

lesbianda : awwwwwwww

lesbianda : they look so flustered

detectiveprettybi : we didnt even know he’s had the time to read through the chat

captaincold : he’s a quick reader

spACEbar : we’re waiting for our uber atm

lesbianda : hm i guess we’ll be on our way now too

bilance : laurel just texted that she and tommy will come here as well

babybibibi : WE’RE ON OUR WAY!!!!!

babybibibi : GOTTA MEET PATTY

captaincold : jesus i already feel bad for the other customers

Chapter Text

snowflake : i love patty i don’t want her to leave again :(

spACEbar : same i wish she went to CCC so she could join our group

lesbianda : awww

detectiveprettybi : did anyone else feel like she’s a female version of bar

transco : OH

pipes : holy shit

lesbianda : what

lesbianda : no

irisbest : face it lin in another life you and bar would be dating

detectiveprettybi : the dream

spACEbar : i??? No

spACEbar : i mean not no @ dating linda linda is great

spACEbar : but patty and i arent alike

pipes : no you are

pipes : you literally finished each other sentences

transco : your mental synchronization can have but one explanation

babybibibi : S C O

transco : sorry its a reflex

irisbest : you know what

irisbest : SNART

detectivepretty : HR Wells should write a @ feature for this app

transco : dont mention him hart might start crying

pipes : hey babe?

transco : yea

pipes : fuck you

transco : later

lesbianda : stop that

captaincold : i gotta be honest

captaincold : there WERE some parallels

spACEbar : et tu

detectiveprettybi : but did linda summon you or was that your ‘hartley is talking sex’ radar

captaincold : i refuse to answer that

babybibibi : fair

lesbianda : wtf

lesbianda : like i get theyre both sweet and nerdy but??

pipes : linda believe us there’s mORE

captaincold : they even had the same tone while talking sometimes it weirded me out

irisbest : it weirded SNART out

spACEbar : i dont like the two of you conspiring against me

irisbest : :(

captaincold : we’re not conspiring we’re saying how it was

spACEbar : >:(

detectiveprettybi : oh trouble in paradise

transco : millennial culture means you only use smileys when you don’t actually mean them

transco : theyre fine

pipes : not that youd understand us young folk

detectiveprettybi : i am literally only 3 years and 2 weeks older than cisco

babybibibi : does anyone even still understand what a millennial *is*

oliverqueer : way too many definitions

lesbianda : tru dat

snowflake : oh i just remembered

snowflake : eddie when is your interview @ ccpd

detectiveprettybi : 27th

detectiveprettybi : i have another one on the 23rd tho

pipes : why dont we know this

babybibibi : yeah where

oliverqueer : blüdhaven

detectiveprettybi : did you look at my mail

bilance : nah diggle did

bilance : he was a proud dad

pipes : awwww dad


lesbianda : isnt it slowly becoming close to #onlyingotham levels of crime


detectiveprettybi : hey at least id have a busy life then

spACEbar : we dont want you to have a busy life

spACEbar : youd forget about us

transco : and here i thought it was like 99% youd stay here :(

babybibibi : noooo

bilance : do you think i can make my dad bribe singh

detectiveprettybi : awww you guys

detectiveprettybi : also @ bar do you really think i could forget u

captaincold : slow down right there

detectiveprettybi : i meant all of you

snowflake : aw

heatwave : bye cop

irisbest : HE’S NOT GONE YET

lesbianda : damn i think i gotta visit my fav police captain and suggest an idea

heatwave : just sayin for a cop ure alright

transco : did mick just have feelings

babybibibi : that was… sweet

captaincold : that might jsut be the nicest thing he’s said in years

captaincold : and then he wastes it on the pretty boy

spACEbar : len be nice

pipes : yeah we all know youd miss him if he left

detectiveprettybi : dont waste your tears im still here

snowflake : we dont want our family to be ripped apart :((

lesbianda : i’ll do my best to prevent that

oliverqueer : do you think hacking could be a solution

detectiveprettybi : GUYS CHILL

detectiveprettybi : life has its way

detectiveprettybi : also we’re getting way too sentimental here screw the future

irisbest : screw the future

irisbest : im using this as my slogan when im running for president

pipes : i thought linda was running for president

lesbianda : im running in 2020 iris is going 2024

lesbianda : we already have a plan

bilance : im voting for both of you

spACEbar : 2024 is gonna be iris’ year!!

irisbest : arm emoji

transco : we also need to tell HR to include emojis in this app smh

babybibibi : what if i already met HR but didnt realize bc i thought it was harrison

captaincold : if the vibes from the pic are anything to go by you would have been able to tell

detectiveprettybi : yeah ronnie trust your gaydar

babybibibi : true lol

pipes : im frustrated again

transco : ill help you with that

pipes : smirk emoji

oliverqueer : no sexting in the chat

pipes : then i will now go to cisco’s flat

pipes : byyyeeee

lesbianda : i should go and… spend some time with my gf as well

heatwave : yall horny af

detectiveprettybi : hey mick hows ray

heatwave : idk

heatwave : should probs find out

captaincold : well pretty boy i might have to applaud you for clearing the room for me

spACEbar : have fun with your docu babe

babybibibi : hah lame

captaincold :

babybibibi : how did you do that

babybibibi : that scared me

captaincold : good

Chapter Text

 WhatsApp group: The Quiver

January 31 2018


You added Eddie Thawne to the groupchat


Eddie : i can’t BELIEVE ur

own gc is called quiver

Eddie : does bar know

Hartley : it’s safe to say

everyone here loves memes

Eddie : amazing

Oliver : in this gc we discuss

chores and rules jsyk

Sara : actually the wheel

of chores determines it but

sometimes u gotta shout

at the kids to remind them

Hartley : NOT a kid

Eddie : wtf is a Wheel of chores

Tommy : it’s like the wheel of

fortune but the opposite

Lisa : they have a big

ceremony of spinning it

every Sunday evening

Eddie : that’s so wild I love it

Oliver : yeah thank ray for that

Eddie : I’ll do that. Appropriately

Tommy : unless that means

it’s unsafe to enter the house

you keep that out of here

Eddie : got it

Laurel : Hello and welcome to

the Quiver, Edward Theodore


We are gathered here to make

sure you did read the rules and

agree to uphold them.

Present witnesses are: Oliver

Jonas Queen, Thomas Merlyn,

Hartley Rathaway, Lisa Snart

and Sara Lance.

The contract will be distributed

by John Thomas Diggle and

myself, Dinah Laurel Lance.

Eddie : i

Eddie : what the fuck

Oliver : they do this every

time dw

Hartley : you’ll also get a

printed out version on Sunday

Eddie : this House is bitchin

Laurel : Dig will now state the rules.

John : 1. Sexual activities

shall be limited to the room

of the inhabitant(s) in question.

Eddie : i Love that it starts off

with sex

Sara : we had ugly encounters

John : 2. Each inhabitant is

responsible for their own lunch.

If someone’s spin at the Wheel

of Chores reads „Cooking“, they

shall take it upon themself to

cook dinner.

John : 3. Sunday evening is

for the Wheel of Chores,

grocery list making and paying

into the household budget.

John : 4. Each person shall

contribute 40$ per month into the

househould budget. Should

any amount be left over, it will

be divided equally between

everyone except Oliver and

Tommy, who have asked to be

kept from it. In exchange for

the money each person can

request things that should

be bought by the inhabitant

who spun „Grocery Shopping“

on the Wheel of Chores.

John : 5. One shall keep out of

the other inhabitants‘ rooms

unless told otherwise.

John : 6. Each inhabitant is

responsible for their own laundry.

John : 7. Should an inhabitant

invite someone over for dinner,

they should tell the cook in due

time. If necessary, it will be upon

the inviting inhabitant to buy

extra food for the guest.

John : 8. Should a guest stay for

more than a day, the inviting

inhabitant should announce it at

least two days beforehand.

John : 9. Should an inhabitant leave

something of theirs in an area outside

their own room, it shall be left alone

unless said otherwise. Bringing it to

the inhabitant‘s room shall be asked

for via this group for the presence of



CACTI!“ - Lisa Snart

Eddie : beautiful

Lisa : thanks

John : 11. Should a guest trigger

negative reactions in another inhabitant,

the inviting inhabitant is requested to

resume into their room, taking the guest

in question with them.

Eddie : is that why I was never in the

living room recently when Tommy

was home

Tommy : yes

Eddie : fair

John : Most frequent visitors of the

Quiver include: Felicity Megan

Smoak, Francisco Paco Ramon,

Ronnie Raymond, Michael Rory,

Leonard Snart, Bar Henry Allen,

Helena Bertinelli, Raymond Carson

Palmer (and in addition Nathaniel

Heywood and Amaya Jiwe), Lyla

Michaels and McKenna Hall.

John : Of these, frequent over-night

guests are: Felicity Megan Smoak,

Francisco Paco Ramon and Lyla


Eddie : better add Iris Ann West to

that for the time being

Laurel : will do

John : Announced guests who will

spend more than one day in the

Quiver for the upcoming month are:

Thea Dearden Queen, Roy William

Harper Jr. and Sin Howard.

They will stay for the week from 17-24

February 2018.

Eddie : im Meeting Thea???? Sweet!

Tommy : Request to keep Eddie from Thea

Tommy : In fear of Incest jokes

Hartley : Veto

Lisa : veto

Sara : Veto

Oliver : Pro

Laurel : Pro

John : Veto

Tommy : Pro

Eddie : ???

Eddie : Veto???

Laurel : Request denied

Tommy : damn


Laurel : Edward Theodore Thawne,

do you accept the stated rules?

Eddie : yes

Eddie : but I have a question

John : shoot

Eddie : when IS dinner time

John : oh

John : I knew we forgot something

Laurel : why didn’t anyone before

mention that

Lisa : honestly I never actually read

that shit

Hartley : I was just happy to have a

home tbh

Oliver : youre idiots

Tommy : dinner is 7pm

Eddie : alright

Eddie : I accept!

Laurel : Edward Thawne, by the power

given to me by the inhabitants of the

house called „The Quiver“, I welcome

you to become one of us.

Sara : yay!!!!

Sara : suck it the queers will soon be

dominating this house

Eddie : I Love this already

Thea Queen

February 5 2018


what do u mean you only have

1 spare room?

last I checked the house had /9/


It’s a long story

did you adopt a bunch of strangers?

not strangers, no

… i’m curious.

a friend of mine got kicked out at home

for being gay, another friend’s lease ran

out & he doesn’t know yet whether hes

staying in Central & another friends little

sister got out of foster care n needed

a place to stay

wait the friend who was at ur press?

Yeah, hartley

damn the guy didn’t even wear his

own clothes

but it’s ok i guess sin will share with

us anyways


dw I won’t tell mom


can’t wait to see u!!!


WhatsApp Group: The Quiver

February 7 2018


Eddie : Request to make Tommy do

yoga in his own room

Lisa : wtf why

Eddie : hes hot and im not allowed to

comment on that

Eddie : so id rather not see it

Oliver : ffs eddie

Oliver : do u get horny WHENEVER

u see a guy?

Eddie : let me live

Eddie : can we have a voting

Lisa : veto

Lisa : i enjoy the view

Hartley : ^

Hartley : ergo veto

Oliver : veto

John : veto

Sara : veto

Laurel : veto

Eddie : PRO

Laurel : I think even without Tommy’s

voting it is safe to say: Request denied

Eddie : rude

Oliver : just go to ur room eddie

Roy Harper

February 12 2018


Hey, thanks for letting me and Sin

stay as well.


ik yall could use a vacation

Yeah, Star’s crazy.

did u apply to colleges already?

Not sure if I’d get into any.

Maybe Star’s community college.

there’d be no shame in that, u kno

but u should apply to all the ones

youd like anyway

Just to be rejected over and over?

u dont kno that

look ccc took me too and i was

bad at everything

Thea always says you weren’t bad,

just lazy.

Plus, you are famous so you had

a bonus.

i think i cant actually disagree with

either of these

so u talked to thea?

Thea, Walter, Sin and even Malcolm.

u talked to MALCOLM about



Well, mostly he talked to ME.

yeah i can see that

Basically he told me I’m from a

working class family and should

stay there.

what the fuck

holy shit

dont u dare listen to him alright

But what if he’s right?

he isnt

also dont tell me u dont feel like

doing it just to piss him off

A bit.


you should talk to laurel or dig

about this when ure here

theyre the realists after all


Thanks, man.

any time!!

Felicity Smoak

February 13 2018


hey i love u

I love u too!!

What’s up?

nothing just felt like telling u

aw <3

can i come over later?

sure! U gonna be here for


i think bar’ll be here later

!!!! bar!!!

yeah they’re having a stargate

marathon with eddie i think

either that or some musical with




so. Dinner?

who’s cooking?


she’s trying something kosher,

else i wouldn’t have asked


yes count me in

nice i’ll tell her


see u later then!

i love you!

I love you too <3

CCC Groupchat: Acing Things™

February 15 2018


spACEbar : is there a name for ur sexuality when u fucking hate dicks but grinding is nice

heatwave : isnt that what lesbians are

oliverqueer : … there’s so much in this sentence im not even sure what to begin with mick

oliverqueer : well bar if u still feel like ure ace then ure ace

oliverqueer : and like its an umbrella term anyways so

spACEbar : hell idek if it counts as sex

heatwave : u and snart went at it?

heatwave : good 4 u

oliverqueer : u know obvsly that sex does not necessarily mean penetration

oliverqueer : u talk to him about it?

spACEbar : ofc

spACEbar : im just so confused by everything

heatwave : just do what u want lmao

oliverqueer : ^

spACEbar : labels are hard

oliverqueer : yeah they are

oliverqueer : ull figure it out

spACEbar : i hOPE

spACEbar : thanks <3

Tommy Merlyn

February 23 2018


We have a date in two


dude i told you im not interested

in u

Which is still pretty rude,

by the way.



it’s a principle

w hat kind of date do we have

You know that old warehouse

from ferris air?


we’re checking it out as a location

we are?

isnt it too far off to even be

attractive to ppl

plenty of clubs are in former

industrial areas

i’m doubting that somehow

well, it’s the only thing we have

right now

i dont want to invest my

money into nothing

we’re not even investing yet!

let’s just check it out!

give me one good reason

so the dude selling it has a good

opinion about us and recs us to his

fellow house selling friends?

they’re called estate agents

yeah those

Also thea said it could be Good™

… fine.


Chapter Text

lesbianda : patty left :((

spACEbar : :((

irisbest : :((

transco : :((

babybibibi : :((

snowflake : :((

captaincold : sry to hear that

pipes : wow emotions!

babybibibi : hart dont act like youre an expert on those

pipes : umMM EXCUSE?

pipes : im great with emotions cisco tell xem

transco : i would but im pretty sure the 8th commandment translates to ‘you shall not lie’

transco : im a good catholic sorry

captaincold : dare i say

captaincold : cold

irisbest : wow

lesbianda : BACK TO THE TOPIC

lesbianda : i am sad

spACEbar : :((

snowflake : <3

babybibibi : we’re really good ith words today

babybibibi : i cant even type

irisbest : hey linda

irisbest : how about for once in my life i actually spend the night over at your place

lesbianda : !!!!

lesbianda : YES SLEEPOVER

spACEbar : have you ever even had one i cant remember

lesbianda : no we actually didn’t she just always tells joe she’s here

irisbest : IT’S TIME

transco :  why do boys never have sleepovers

snowflake : they do they just dont call it that

pipes : yeah it’s usually ‘crashing at someone’s place’

captaincold : pipes i thought you had no friends how can you tell

pipes : i came out to have a good time and im feeling so attacked today

spACEbar : aw

spACEbar : i’d have a sleepover with all of you

transco : same

snowflake : same

irisbest : [eddie voice] YES

captaincold : you’d know how that sounds

lesbianda : wow

pipes : wow

spACEbar : LEN NO

detectiveprettybi : Hello together!

babybibibi : that was a capital letter and a single exclamation mark

babybibibi : what happened

detectiveprettybi : Eddie is currently being chased through the house so he threw his phone at me and told me to upload the following picture. I am supposed to announce that he finds it incredibly funny.

detectiveprettybi : [image attached]

transco : [vine voice] wHO aRE YOU

irisbest : that’s a pretty picture!!!!

pipes : it’s half the quiver plus ppl i don’t know

captaincold : it’s a family pic

lesbianda : no wonder eddie finds it funny


spACEbar : ollie, tommy, sara, laurel, felicity and three whole people i do not know

spACEbar : i’m just gonna guess those are thea, roy and sin

snowflake : yeah that’s thea queen alright

lesbianda : eye emoji

babybibibi : cait knows her gossip

detectiveprettybi : I’m Roy Harper, Thea’s boyfriend. Sorry for not saying so earlier.

pipes : dude your style of writing freaks me out

irisbest : is there a fun story behind this pic

detectiveprettybi : Thea has insisted on taking a family photo, so that meant both Oliver and Tommy. She wanted me on it as well, though, so Oliver insisted on Felicity being in it as well.

detectiveprettybi : Then Thea decided Sin needed to be in it as well and since Sin and Sara are practically sisters, Sin wanted Sara in the picture as well.

detectiveprettybi : So then Laurel had to be in it, too.

heatwave : this family tree is a circle

pipes : mick you truly captured eddie’s spirit in this

spACEbar : is it bad that im laughing

spACEbar : here i thought we were bad

irisbest : you just wait until dad insists snart is on the pic

irisbest : then mick and lisa are a given

heatwave : oh hell no

snowflake : squeals

spACEbar : …. I was just thinking of cecille and joanie

pipes : bar and mick in the middle of black ppl

lesbianda : back at the reverse racism

captaincold : lisa isnt black you moron

transco : ah right you don’t have the same mom

detectiveprettybi : … What IS this chat?

heatwave : a mess

lesbianda : queer folk from college basically

transco : best if anyone in the quiver gives you a crash course

transco : this chat can’t handle another row of intros

detectiveprettybi : What the hell is a quiver?

detectiveprettybi : I mean… I know what a quiver is but how are people gonna fit in there?

babybibibi : are you ever just unaware of how weird we are until someone from the outside is dragged into it

pipes : the house is called the quiver, long story

pipes : btw i hope eddie stayed outta my room

detectiveprettybi : Oh, are you the homeless guy?

transco : oh no

snowflake : here we go

pipes : i am the gay deaf homeless guy yes

detectiveprettybi : That’s… a lot of details.

babybibibi : he does that every time don’t mind him

transco : i’m surprised he didn’t get a shirt yet

pipes : do i get one for my birthday

transco : no

captaincold : no

babybibibi : no

irisbest : no

detectiveprettybi : This is weirdly entertaining.

spACEbar : does eddie still live

detectiveprettybi : I think so? Oliver has come back a few minutes ago but Tommy’s still shouting about suffocating him.

pipes : home sweet home

lesbianda : that pic alone saved my day

lesbianda : i’m still sad tho

snowflake : :((

spACEbar : :((

detectiveprettybi : What’s wrong?

irisbest : holy shit he’s a nice guy

transco : woah

lesbianda : my gf flew back to national city today

detectiveprettybi : That sucks :(

spACEbar : :(

babybibibi : oh that reminds me!!!!!

babybibibi : so roy what is the situation with you and thea and sin

snowflake : my fiance, once again acting like xe invented polyamory

detectiveprettybi : There’s engaged people in this chat? I’d have thought Oliver and Felicity would be the first among their friends.

snowflake : how dare you

irisbest : bfjdjsls im LAUGHING

detectiveprettybi : There’s no situation with the three of us. I mean, I love Sin a lot and so does Thea but they’re not interested in anyone romantically.

transco : aro nb!!!!!

transco : mick we found your counterpart

captaincold : did u look at the pic they’re like a third the size of mick

pipes : smol

snowflake : do you think they’re smaller than cisco

transco : I HOPE

detectiveprettybi : ISNT THAT PIC SO FUNNY

spACEbar : ah no we were just talking to roy

detectiveprettybi : …………………… so rude……………

detectiveprettybi : …… betrayed by my loved one

captaincold : no

snowflake : he’s nice!

lesbianda : yeah!!!!

irisbest : thea did well

spACEbar : im glad you survived tommy’s anger

detectiveprettybi : ah he found it funny too he’s just drama™

pipes : can’t wait to get back to the quiver

babybibibi : what if we all went

detectiveprettybi : pls don’t

detectiveprettybi : oliver and tommy are already overwhelmed enough

heatwave : by 3 ppl? Theres more usually

detectiveprettybi : yeh but it’s their sister!!!!!

captaincold : are they trying to seem responsible

detectiveprettybi : yeah

captaincold : and you gave this gc to the bf of their sister?

detectiveprettybi : yeah

captaincold : evil

detectiveprettybi : thanks

spACEbar : did they just have a civil convo

transco : im as shocked as you are


lesbianda : impossible

Chapter Text

detectiveprettybi : blüdhaven sure has a lot of casinos huh

detectiveprettybi : anybody know how to count cards or however that shit works

babybibibi : i bet hart would know

oliverqueer : felicity does

spACEbar : eye emoji

oliverqueer : she grew up in las vegas

heatwave : and then she goes to college in central city

heatwave : shit makes no sense

irisbest : how is mick so iconic

irisbest : i hope i get something from blüdhaven

lesbianda : and that you get a neg reply eddie

detectiveprettybi : gee thanks

babybibibi : we just want you to stay around

transco : shrug emoji

detectiveprettybi : i still have a few hours to kill and

detectiveprettybi : i swear heres nothing to do BUT casinos

lesbianda : couldve researched first

detectiveprettybi : :(

detectiveprettybi : oliver can’t you just fly someone over here

oliverqueer : PFFF

oliverqueer : you do know that *I* don’t have the power over the jet

detectiveprettybi : i was thinking of the heli

transco : im that mr krabs meme rn

transco : rich ppl fuck me up

heatwave : mood

captaincold : same

spACEbar : go get a coffee eddie

transco : i thought youre good at making friends

detectiveprettybi : i dont wANT any friends here

oliverqueer : here i thought youd accept fate

detectiveprettybi : i will fight fate in a parking lot

detectiveprettybi : i dont like this city

irisbest : poor baby

detectiveprettybi : it’s big and loud and lonely

transco : :((

spACEbar : oh hey is hartley at cisco’s or the quiver??

transco : hes at work

lesbianda : i thought he didnt work on fridays

oliverqueer : changed it up for the holidays

captaincold : clever guy that pipes

transco : is there a musical incident i might be able to help with thats

spACEbar : nah jax & wally wanna create some weird fuel and need help

babybibibi : bc nobody but hart can help with that

irisbest : do yall wanna be annoyed by some kids

spACEbar : thought you were busy sry

spACEbar : and cisco’s more for like toys

transco : hm fair

spACEbar : pretty sure jesse couldve figured it out with a single glance but she’d rather see them suffer

captaincold : can i meet her

irisbest : nO

captaincold : okay, rude?

lesbianda : snart and jesse together would be an unstoppable force and idk if we could stomach that

spACEbar : when did you meet jesse

lesbianda : bar i think that lately i have spent more time at your house than you did

irisbest : ikr!!! im so proud of them going out

spACEbar : quoting my bf: okay, rude?

transco : we cant be all neurotypical karen

irisbest : ehfkenekedjdjf

oliverqueer : same

detectiveprettybi : if i deepthroat this banana while maintaining eye contact with the cop across the street they surely wont accept me right

lesbianda : dOnT kArEn Me

irisbest : eddie bb i fear that might ruin your chances at any precinct

transco : dOnT aCt LiKe A kArEn

captaincold : ill pay you fifty bucks pretty bi

spACEbar : he doesnt have 50 bucks

captaincold : bar. My love. Please

snowflake : “my love”

transco : pls dont start crying cait

snowflake : im trying

detectiveprettybi : im booooored

detectiveprettybi : and annoyed! I thought this city was nicer

oliverqueer : go find someone to hang out with

detectiveprettybi : ollie literally the only time i randomly chat up a stranger is for sex

detectiveprettybi : WHICH I DONT HAVE TIME FOR TODAY

lesbianda : rip

spACEbar : at least you have us to keep you company

detectiveprettybi : <3

babybibibi : when is the interview?

detectiveprettbi : 3pm

transco : wait which time zone is blüdhaven in

lesbianda : the same as gotham duh

detectiveprettybi : …. It is 1:39 rn

irisbest : youre an hour ahead of us

spACEbar : eddie’s in THE FUTURE

captaincold : bar no

transco : pls dont

oliverqueer : why exactly isnt bar allowed to talk about time travel


lesbianda : u know what i just remembered

lesbianda : eddie didnt you apply in national as well

detectiveprettybi : yeah

detectiveprettybi : OH BOY

babybibibi : aw imagine if patty and eddie became partners

spACEbar : do you think patty’d want to meet up with me when im in national

detectiveprettybi : honestly id die if i worked with patty i love her

lesbianda : :3c

transco : bar ofc she would

lesbianda : bar YES

detectiveprettybi : but who knows maybe the ppl here are nice too

captaincold : stressed cops equal bad cops

oliverqueer : youd know

captaincold : yea h

snowflake : eddie im sure it’ll go great

spACEbar : damn

irisbest : thats the opposite of what we want cait

snowflake : oh

snowflake : eddie im sure it’ll suck

transco : djdkdjd i love u cait

snowflake : !! :D

snowflake : ilu too

heatwave : oh fuck off

detectiveprettybi : ???

pipes : i live

irisbest : !!!!

irisbest : scroll up theres a task for you

pipes : hang on

detectiveprettybi : im still confused

oliverqueer : insert obligatory payback to all the times you joked abt me being confused

detectiveprettybi : witty

pipes : yeah tell them to meet me at jitters in 30

irisbest : bar ur still at home right?

irisbest : u go tell them god knows they dont check their phones

transco : i though u wanted to come here after work :(((

pipes : kids need my help cisquito

transco : ok :(

lesbianda : oliver you asshole

oliverqueer : what did I DO

lesbianda : snart’s father is a corrupt cop you iDIOT

oliverqueer : oh shit what

oliverqueer : fuck i had no idea

transco : oh shit

captaincold : if you think it takes a mere hint at my fathers existence to upset me you sure don’t know me well

pipes : fair

captaincold : so y’all better shut up and ignore shit

oliverqueer : still

oliverqueer : sorry

captaincold : Queen shut up

oliverqueer : k

heatwave : lmao what’d ur reaction be if bar hadn’t called u right away

captaincold : the same?

heatwave : hmh

lesbianda : hey Iris Tell your dad to pay special attention of coldwave’s apartment

irisbest : Got that

detectiveprettybi : don’t murder mick while I’m not there!!!!

spACEbar : that only makes him wanna do it more

detectiveprettybi : i caNT stand this unjustified hate

babybibibi : would Eddie and Snart’s shipname be thart

transco : THART

spACEbar : th’ art

transco : no bar….. it sounds like fart

spACEbar : oh oh my god

bilance : i cant believe this is the first thing I say today but

bilance : ronnie i am truly proud of how well your pun skill developed

babybibibi : :-D

Chapter Text

oliverqueer : [image attached]

oliverqueer : i feel like I’m in a horror movie

lesbianda : you’d be the white guy who suggest they split up

captaincold : Queens the first to die

oliverqueer : …. i hate you

bilance : jeez that looks like it needs a LOT of renovations

oliverqueer : ikr???? And it’s so far out of CC this can’t be worth it but

oliverqueer : [image attached]

irisbest : hes beAUTIFUL

detectiveprettybi : oliver if you single-handedly ruin this man’s happiness i will haunt you forever

lesbianda : i thought you arent allowed to be in love with tommy anymore

detectiveprettybi : linda even as a lesbian this pic alone must tell you it’s impossible

lesbianda : true,

oliverqueer : y’all are not helping my troubles

bilance : youre rich doesnt tommy’s happiness value more than the financial profit

oliverqueer : …………


captaincold : don’t act like you’re all selfless now

oliverqueer : fu

snowflake : oh you’re looking at clubs???

oliverqueer : yeah thea and tommy conspired

detectiveprettybi : im glad im an only child

bilance : can i just point out how well behaved eddie was around thea

bilance : i am proud of him

detectiveprettybi : :^)

captaincold : pretty bi has a praise kink

detectiveprettybi : lets be real the time in blüdhaven helped keep me away from her

detectiveprettybi : i dO NOT

lesbianda : eddie you never told us whether you got some over in b town

detectiveprettybi : course i did i had to spend a whole night there

pipes : iconic

captaincold : love pipes’ timing

snowflake : you didn’t say anything about the interview either

detectiveprettybi : i didnt give my full power but i wasnt the worst either

detectiveprettybi : figured i dont wanna have my rep ruined

captaincold : what rep

spACEbar : len

captaincold : hi babe

pipes : coughs whipped

bilance : dont even start with being whipped hartley

detectiveprettybi : i feel like yall are whipped

oliverqueer : its caLLED LOVE



bilance : only children are weird

irisbest : mood

pipes : do you think if i had a sibling they’d be as much garbage as my parents

snowflake : noooo

captaincold : Lisa and I were raised by the same guy and she’s lovely

oliverqueer : hm

captaincold : watch your words

detectiveprettybi : don’t insult Lisa or your death awaits you

spACEbar : the question is why WOULD you insult Lisa

heatwave : Snart you absolute fucker ya old man is an asshole

heatwave : didn’t even raise the girl lmao we fuckin did

pipes : aw dads

bilance : imagine having snart and mick as your dads. The extravagance

oliverqueer : case in point: lisa

bilance : u rite

detectiveprettybi : oliver go play with tommy

oliverqueer : he disappeared somewhere into the attic

captaincold : oliver: this is like a horror movie

captaincold : also oliver: lmao gonna let my best friend explore the aTTIC

lesbianda : snart have you by any chance spent some time with cisco lately

spACEbar : yeah theyve been texting

irisbest : gasP

pipes : wtf what about

captaincold : your nosy ass

pipes : rude

babybibibi : i read that as noisy at first

detectiveprettybi : i bet he does have a noisy ass

lesbianda : wow

irisbest : woah

spACEbar : i’m

oliverqueer : God

pipes : ;)

babybibibi : bACK TO THE TOPIC

babybibibi : what the fuck would sco and snart talk about

irisbest : yeah last i heard snart wanted to kill him for even looking at lisa

oliverqueer : also snart doesn’t seem to be the person you just chat with

detectiveprettybi : snart seems to be the person who texts you but only bc he wants something

captaincold : snart would like to inform you that he can, in fact, read all your messages

captaincold : snart would also like to remind you that he has no objections to murder

irisbest : except for his family?

spACEbar : also our family

captaincold : …

captaincold : exceptions are mick, lisa and the west-allens, yes

lesbianda : you are soft

bilance : you will be missed linda

lesbianda : mick save me

heatwave : you dug ur own grave

lesbianda : >:/

lesbianda : rude

irisbest : my dad would kill you if you harmed linda

detectiveprettybi : im so entertained by the friendship between the detective and linda

spACEbar : all of us

oliverqueer : the key is to hype his kids

lesbianda : i wouldnt say it like that

irisbest : youre absolutely right linda is like my hype woman

lesbianda : weLL? You are mine too

babybibibi : aw

pipes : are you saying snart only got on the detective’s good side bc he loves bar

lesbianda : yeah

irisbest : absolutely

heatwave : ye

captaincold : yep

spACEbar : .... yeah

pipes : incredible

snowflake : im the hype woman of you all

irisbest : aw

spACEbar : caIT <3

babybibibi : isn’t she wholesome

detectiveprettybi : we been knew

bilance : im glad caitlin is our honorary straight member

bilance : oliver did well by accepting her

oliverqueer : woah was that praise

captaincold : that was probably the first time she praised him

heatwave : and they used to fuck

detectiveprettybi : FJGKGNGNGJG

pipes : oh my GOd

lesbianda : woah

babybibibi : legends

Chapter Text

detectiveprettybi : kill me

detectiveprettybi : no seriously kill me

detectiveprettybi : drive a knife into my head

detectiveprettybi : bar can i have one of your anxiety pills

snowflake : i advise against that

snowflake : what’s wrong :(

detectiveprettybi : IT’S TODAY

snowflake : WHAT IS TODAY

detectiveprettybi : MY INTERVIEW AT CCPD

detectiveprettybi : i really dont want to fuck this up i want to stay in central and with all you guys

detectiveprettybi : and i love this town so much id be honoured to help it

pipes : if you tell singh as much hell love u

detectiveprettybi : ha

detectiveprettybi : ill totally fuck up

lesbianda : youll do great

lesbianda : also dont trust singh’s face as a reaction to you i think the man is physically unable to smile

detectiveprettybi : that’s

detectiveprettybi : not helping

detectiveprettybi : how am i supposed to know if i do well when he has no emotions!!!!!

snowflake : i doubt that he has NO emotions

detectiveprettybi : you knwo what i mean!!!

irisbest : hey eddie bud do me a favour?

detectiveprettybi : i cant shut up im stressed!

irisbest : no that’s alright

irisbest : just. Take a deep breath

irisbest : and look if either dig or laurel are home

detectiveprettybi : wHAT FOR

irisbest : just do it will you

detecitveprettybi : okay

detectiveprettybi : but only for u

irisbest : <3

pipes : jeez i wasnt so bad before my interview was i

lesbianda : youve pretty much been guaranteed the job

heatwave : u were fuckin annoying


snowflake : hartley im afraid it really wasn’t all too pleasant in your presence

snowflake : we still love you though

irisbest : is this ronnie’s attempt at sounding like cait

irisbest : bc you just sound like an AI

pipes : an AI with a pretentious name like gideon or something

snowflake : damn

snowflake : this is ridiculous

heatwave : hey bicon ask ya fiance when shes up for some boxing again

bilance : i am both amazed by mick picking up ‘bicon’ and also using the word fiance

heatwave : she is xyr fiance

snowflake : YES SHE IS

snowflake : CAN YOU BELIEVE

lesbianda : it’s been 2 months and we still cant

irisbest : when you start calling her your wife we’ll all just cry everytime

snowflake : honestly same

bilance : why are you even on cait’s phone suddenly

snowflake : i have no idea where mine is and she went to the bathroom

oliverqueer : genius

transco : try under the bed

transco : u know how easily it slips between the wood and mattress

snowflake : hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

snowflake : yeah later ive JUST sat down

transco : #timing

spACEbar : did eddie really listen to iris

irisbest : ofc he did

spACEbar : amazing

captaincold : whipped

bilance : snart you are the last one to call someone whipped

heatwave : hah blondie go off

pipes : how is mick so chatty today

captaincold : guess

oliverqueer : how’s ray

heatwave : wrecked

snowflake : u’d know about that oliver

oliverqueer : u know what? I’ve decided to own this

oliverqueer : yes i do

transco : i cant believe ollie does this when eddie isn’t here

oliverqueer : maybe that’s my evil plan

spACEbar : leave him alone!!! He’s having a big day today

lesbianda : you mean the day where he gETS EMPLOYED AT CCPD


detectiveprettybi : i’ll come back to scream about this later

detectiveprettybi : now im heading off for coffee with laurel and then it’s Death TimeTM

spACEbar : you’re gonna rock this eddie!!!

lesbianda : go eddie!

transco : GO MAKE US PROUD

irisbest : everybody say something nice

bilance : I have faith in you

snowflake : if eddie can’t get this i don’t think anybody can

captaincold : … i suppose you wouldn’t be that bad of a cop

pipes : eddie once youre an actual cop your chances with bruce wayne are probably improved

transco : snart took less convincing than i expected

irisbest : it’s my magic

heatwave : what snart said i guess

detectiveprettybi : <3333

detectiveprettybi : love you guys

captaincold : calm down you aint dying

detectiveprettybi : fuck off snart

captaincold : so i wont have to deal with you? gladly!

transco : can you feel the love tonight

bilance : thank you for this

oliverqueer : goddammit cisco

Chapter Text

lesbianda : oh my god you can’t make this shit up

lesbianda : im laughing so hard

captaincold : yeah stop doing that youre blowing our cover

pipes : ……….. What is happening

captaincold : a lot

lesbianda : basically we’re all nosy bitches

lesbianda : except for wally

captaincold : yeah wally just wants money

transco : classic

transco : but i am confused i have to admit

lesbianda : basically i wanted to listen in on eddie’s interview

lesbianda : so i thought why not visit my favourite detective while he’s on desk duty

oliverqueer : don’t tell me you guys are chilling at ccpd

captaincold : then we won’t

pipes : no go on

lesbianda : well i guess iris wanted to support eddie but the official story is she wanted to discuss bar’s birthday dinner

lesbianda : but then they showed up too

captaincold : bar made me pretend i’m stupid

snowflake : what even

lesbianda : their cover story is that snart wants to go to national city with them

bilance : oh my god

captaincold : west looked at me like i was crazy for forgetting my rules

lesbianda : im pretty sure he thinks you keep exploiting your personal connection

heatwave : totally is

pipes : like you arent

heatwave : never said that

captaincold : anyway then wally also appeared with jesse and jax

captaincold : and now we’re all standing here trying to look unsuspicious until pretty bi shows up

transco : youre unsuccessful are you

pipes : i mean. They’re texting

captaincold : note how it’s only linda and me

lesbianda : yeah you don’t learn how to type sneakily when you grew up in a west household

lesbianda : wally wasnt even raised by joe and yet

snowflake : oh right i noticed bar can’t type with one hand

transco : iris always has her phone so close to her face

transco : ive been wondering if she needs glasses

captaincold : nah she just gotta step up her sneaky game

lesbianda : well we only have five more minutes to kill

lesbianda : snart ask jax about cars or something

captaincold : i know jackshit about cars

heatwave : ask him why honda is a bitch and makes it impossible to get cheap pistons

captaincold : Are you still going on about that

heatwave : you’ll complain when the bike don’t work anymore

captaincold : Fine

pipes : so domestic

bilance : so eddie doesnt even know youre there?

lesbianda : nope

snowflake : did it occur to you that he might like show a reaction to seeing yall

transco : dont make him fail this u guys

lesbianda : anybody would be surprised by seeing 7 random people just chilling with a cop tbh

lesbianda : nothing telling

pipes : him not slipping up that he knows you doesn’t mean it doesnt have a reaction on him

lesbianda : we hope its positive

heatwave : with snart there? Tough luck

oliverqueer : wow mick really only has love for him

transco : he’s right tho snart hates eddie

snowflake : snart complimented eddie today!

pipes : bc iris made him lol

bilance : i think they have mutual respect for each other

lesbianda : no mutual respect is the way snart is seemingly about to explode bc he disagrees with joe but doesnt dare to say it

heatwave : that’s fear

transco : wow

lesbianda : ohhhhhhhhhhhhh eddie cleans up so nice

bilance : ikr

oliverqueer : how did he react to seeing you all

lesbianda : froze for a second but then said hello and went on

captaincold : lmao west is currently ranting against young rookies

snowflake : oh dear

captaincold : ‘that’s the guy singh’s interviewing today? Who the hell’s gonna take him seriously’

transco : oh no!!!

lesbianda : we can’t look into singh’s office :/

heatwave : shoulda burnt those blinds

pipes : mick is so invested in this

heatwave : gotta know who to avoid

bilance : hmm sure

oliverqueer : can you like see shadows or something

lesbianda : no

captaincold : can you read emotions on shadows during a conversation. Is that a skill of yours queen

captaincold : they sure as hell ain’t gonna start a fist fight

oliverqueer : oh You’re Right

lesbianda : ?????????

bilance : five minutes and that’s what you’re giving us?

transco : what’s hjappening!

captaincold : singh just called for detective

pipes : ?????????

snowflake : ??????????

oliverqueer : ?????????

lesbianda : mood!

irisbest : I AM CONFUSION

transco : AMERICA EXPLAIN!!!!!

pipes : u just cant resist can u

transco : u know me

snowflake : meme lord

transco : thanks cait


transco : vibes

bilance : back to the topic

bilance : what???

irisbest : NO IDEA

captaincold : detective’s back

captaincold : o

pipes : did snart just

lesbianda : hoLY JF

oliverqueer : WHAT

captaincold : this is the best day of my life

lesbianda : im

bilance : WHAT

lesbianda : good news

lesbianda : eddie got hired

transco : YES

pipes : congrats!!!

bilance : this is amazing!

snowflake : YES EDDIE

heatwave : snart aint happy bout that

captaincold : nah i aint

lesbianda : bad news?

lesbianda : joe just got a new partner

pipes : NO

oliverqueer : HANG ON

babybibibi : WAIT

transco : WHAT#

captaincold : EXCALTY


lesbianda : he’s not even doing his pokerface

lesbianda : bar and iris are just shook and joe is fuming

bilance : holy SHIT

captaincold : indeed

snowflake : i canNOT beliEVE

transco : im. Speechless


bilance : eddie and iris definitely cant hook up any more

babybibibi : cait’s destroyed

captaincold : the detective is really mad about having a newbie as his partner i can’t

lesbianda : wally can tell something’s up obvsly so he#s just the physical embodiment of the eye emoji

pipes : off topic but when will we add him to this chat fhfkfk

snowflake : he’s not in college hartley

heatwave : signal him to keep this outta the west family chat

captaincold : good thinking

bilance : the wests have a family chat? Is snart in it

heatwave : he wishes

oliverqueer : makes sense

lesbianda : aaaaaaaaaaaaand joe threw us out

snowflake : he did what now

captaincold : he’s annoyed and ‘wants to have a little chat with singh’

transco : does he wait until eddie’s gone tho

bilance : we can only hope

lesbianda : ‘dont tell me you liveblogged this whole thing” - bar, just now

lesbianda : ‘good that you did that,” iris says, pulling out her own phone


irisbest : what the FUCK

oliverqueer : i feel like this summarizes how today went

detectiveprettybi : are you guys gone bc i dont feel like being seen with you no offense

captaincold : that’s how i feel about you all the time

detectiveprettybi : fuck you

detectiveprettybi : WHAT THE HELL IS MY LIFE

detectiveprettybi : can i just point out how i am now officially working with the father of a girl i occasionally sleep with and also the love of my life, how he doesn’t know either of those and still already hates me

lesbianda : ah so you noticed that

detectiveprettybi : it wASNT HARD TO MISS

transco : no offense he’ll kill you if he finds out

pipes : aren’t partners always like friends

pipes : youll be a frequent visitor at the wests!

detectiveprettybi : im. Shit

irisbest : this is awful

oliverqueer : are we just glossing over how eddie called bar the love of his life

captaincold : we are ignoring lies, yes.

transco : where is bar even

lesbianda : explaining the situation to wally

snowflake : oh dear

heatwave : how well does the detective read sexual tension

irisbest : i. Don’t even want to know

captaincold : i feel like you’ll find out

lesbianda : iris just almost shoved snart in front of a moving car

detectiveprettybi : GOOD

Chapter Text

pipes : how exactly did we not discuss that further

babybibibi : we were busy having sex

transco : hart didn’t say that but yes us too

oliverqueer : same

bilance : did eddie ever come home

oliverqueer : go check you know that im out

bilance : imma text laurel

bilance : i dont wanna see eddie in a bad shape

transco : weird to assume eddie has a bad shape

pipes : we legit saw him drunk and hungover so often and he was still a snack

babybibibi : im just sitting here nodding along

oliverqueer : my fav thing is how cisco and hartley text even though they are probably next to each other

pipes : nah cisco’s in the bathroom

bilance : oh god you must miss each other terribly

bilance : that distance between you two……..

bilance : horrible

bilance : can’t imagine what that would be like

transco : hey sara when do you leave for tibet again

bilance : in 19 days

bilance : which is 19 days too long

babybibibi : didn’t you say you’d be gone for a like month???

babybibibi : the next semester starts in early april

oliverqueer : god don’t remind me

pipes : isn’t it your last one oliver

oliverqueer : gOd DoN’t ReMiNd Me

bilance : one of my profs is a big fan of me hanging out in asia again so she writes it down as a student field trip

transco : god i wish that were me

babybibibi : just visit your family and go ‘hey there’s physics down here too’

transco : FJFFK great iDEA

bilance : everything’s coming up sara lance

pipes : you have a great life

detectiveprettybi : you know i’d hoped yesterday was a dream

babybibibi : im still not sure what exactly’s so bad

babybibibi : you’re staying here! You work with a nice man!

detectiveprettybi : how am i supposed to look him in the eyes and not be reminded that i fucked his daughter multiple times and he doesnt even know that i know her

detectiveprettybi : this man has tracked his kids and threatened snart’s life more than once

babybibibi : i see your problem

transco : when are you supposed to start working

detectiveprettybi : 12th

oliverqueer : are you gonna miss bar’s birthday

detectiveprettybi : the real question is: can i even still hang out with bar

pipes : and here i thought i was a drama queen

bilance : no snart is

transco : right

captaincold : with that attitude you cant

oliverqueer : back at it again with the jealousy

transco : damn daniel

captaincold : believe it or not that’s not it

captaincold : if pretty bi keeps being so obvious then he might be offed soon

pipes : by you or west

captaincold : pending

bilance : that’s valid

babybibibi : snart’s right just play your cards chill

oliverqueer : shall i say something about my experience of dating someone who’s dad is a cop

bilance : shut the fuck up oliver

oliverqueer : okay

bilance : you dont need to scare the guy any more

detectiveprettybi : thank you so much

captaincold : anyway i have felt like we kept focussing on pretty bi being accepted by the ccpd for three weeks at this point

captaincold : someone change the topic im bored

pipes : what are we supposed to talk about

captaincold : idk. Rank the dicks youve seen in your life

babybibibi : how much time do you have for this convo

pipes : hey

transco : babe don’t act all innocent now

bilance : yeah hart

bilance : we all know youre a slut

pipes : slut rights!!!!

babybibibi : i can’t believe a guy used the word slut and linda did not show up

detectiveprettybi : where is she

captaincold : asleep

transco : lmao did she crush at yours again

captaincold : yes

pipes : OH HANG ON

pipes : snart ah freilichen purim to you

babybibibi : a what now

heatwave : oh it’s purim? Sweet

heatwave : Snart cooks

captaincold : why the fuck do you speak yiddish

pipes : it’s not too far off from German

transco : you don’t speak german

pipes : im learning german


bilance : Snart do you do the 7 tasks

heatwave : yeah he does

heatwave : though curious how he’s gonna do his Robin Hood act this year if he can’t steal

pipes : at work babe it’s boring there

babybibibi : aw Snart is soft

captaincold : glares

oliverqueer : wouldn’t have pegged Snart as someone who celebrates Purim

heatwave : dude it’s a party

transco : not to be offensive but what IS Purim

spACEbar : an ancient king planned to kill every Jewish person but a Jewish family, especially the Woman of The House, stopped him

transco : prevention of the first holocaust, got it

transco : and what are those tasks

spACEbar : read the book of Esther, presents to your loved ones, presents to the poor, read the Torah, pray, food & wine, no sadness

transco : kickass holiday

oliverqueer : did you just randomly list those off

spACEbar : my dads Jewish

irisbest : Purim is Henry’s fav so bars always done the tasks in his stead

spACEbar : only the presents and reading of Esther tho

babybibibi : your dads Jewish? But you aren’t right

spACEbar : no it’s passed on matrilineally and my mum was Christian

spACEbar : I’m not really religious either way I like a few traditions but that’s it

oliverqueer : oh mood

detectiveprettybi : are we just ignoring my big dilemma now

irisbest : yes suck it up and be a good partner to my dad

irisbest : anyways i feel like nobody is REALLY religious any more nowadays

transco : i consider myself quite religious tbh

transco : but more like new wave instead of conservative

bilance : there’s a concept called third wave christianity but no idea about /new/ wave

bilance : also third wave christianity is protestant which i guess you’re not

transco : im latino sara

bilance : yeah ok

babybibibi : today’s topic being religion somehow weirds me out

lesbianda : organized religion weirds me out

lesbianda : that manipulation into joining a movement

transco : idk i enjoy the feeling of community during mass?

transco : but i guess it IS weird if you haven’t been dragged into it from birth

heatwave : brainwash

transco : i might have been brainwashed but at least im not buying into it 100%

irisbest : ppl who think they understand the bible and don’t recognize it as an ancient work that’s not relatable nowadays are Bad

bilance : preach it girl

transco : gotta adapt

lesbianda : imma write a blog post about organized religion

detectiveprettybi : i feel like linda’s blog is only us at this point

lesbianda : nah just prompted by you guys

pipes : at least you’re not spending fifteen months with writing a chat group fanfiction about us

babybibibi : that’s oddly specific

babybibibi : hart what are you doing

pipes : do I look like I have time for that

transco : well if you have time to secretly learn yet another language

oliverqueer : hartleys too intelligent for his own good

oliverqueer : how are you both a science and a language person!!!!!

pipes : I suck at sports and art if that helps

detectiveprettybi : disappointment radiating from coldwaves direction

heatwave : nah its fine

heatwave : would freak me the fuck out if he was good at everything

babybibibi : it already freaks me out so much

babybibibi : and im his best friend

pipes : rude

pipes : cait is my best friend now

lesbianda : cait is everyone’s best friend that aint special

babybibibi : u saying my fiance isn’t special


irisbest : i interrupt to announce that snart and bar went out to do the good deeds together today

transco : awwwwwwwwww

bilance : awwwwwwwwwwww

babybibibi : awwwwwwww

oliverqueer : awwwww

lesbianda : cue cait

snowflake : AWWWWWWW

lesbianda : im a goddess

Chapter Text

pipes : if i ever meet this HR I’ll kick him in the stomach

captaincold : isnt you starting a fight and getting your ass handed what brought you and cisco together

captaincold : it’s just a reminder that you fucking suck

pipes : wow

oliverqueer : what did HR do

pipes : make it able to block people on here

bilance : ??? blocking is a godforsaken right

pipes : yeah but it sucks when your boyfriend does it to you

bilance : he did what now

snowflake : WHAT

pipes : yeah we had a fight and now this fucker goes and BLOCKS ME EVERYWHERE?????

captaincold : probably deserved it

pipes : i did not???

pipes : so if any of you could pass on a message

bilance : nope im staying out of this

oliverqueer : deal with your shit yourself man

pipes : youre rude

captaincold : go wait in front of his door like last time

captaincold : get your ass kicked again

captaincold : probably the correct punishment

pipes : oh that’s a fantastic idea


bilance : ok how does the blocking here work can you read what he wrote

transco : no but i can figure out snart’s talking to him

oliverqueer : hm yeah makes sense


captaincold : you two truly fit to each other don’t you

snowflake : what even happened ;A;

transco : cait did you hang out with bar why are you using kawaii smileys

pipes : why does this look exactly like your face it’s not fair

transco : basically hart is an entitled jackass

transco : also i hate him

oliverqueer : no you don’t

pipes : ive just been trying to be nice!!!

bilance : how does it look like they’re replying to one another

captaincold : too used to fighting

transco : you know i thought hart spent more time in my flat than the quiver bc he found it too crowded there or whatever

bilance : makes sense

transco : but no

oliverqueer : i feel something

pipes : okay obvsly yall remember the fact that cisco’s neighbour is a transphobic asshole

transco : but no turns out he thought he had to PROTECT ME

pipes : so i didnt feel okay with letting him in his presence all alone okay

bilance : oh my god

snowflake : that’s so… noble

transco : no cait it’s NOT

transco : cmon it’s fucking belittling is what it is

snowflake : i was talking to hartley actually

transco : DO NOT

pipes : and he never even let me explain fully?

pipes : the stuff axel has in his flat is frightening tbh and i dont even wanna know what he could do with it

pipes : and it’s not like i could do anything about that shit either but i feel better anyways

captaincold : [image attached]

captaincold : [image attached]

oliverqueer : ??

bilance : oh clever

captaincold : figured they didn’t hear each other out

bilance : leonard snart: professional relationship counselor

captaincold : my dream job

oliverqueer : oh right they couldnt read each other

bilance : jeez ollie just how small is your brain

bilance : that was established at the start of this wtf

oliverqueer : yeah im stupid that was agreed on

transco : i feel like we should finish that discussion outside of the chat

pipes : agreed

snowflake : aw oliver don’t say that

detectiveprettybi : dmn did we break oliver’s confidence

captaincold : only took us half a year

snowflake : don’t be mean!

detectiveprettybi : oh i dont want cait to be mad at me

lesbianda : ollie trust a lesbian when she says youre fucking superb you funky little rich bitch

oliverqueer : im taller than you

oliverqueer : like. Way

bilance : accept the meme and say thanks

oliverqueer : thanks?

detectiveprettybi : how was this so nice

detectiveprettybi : and how did snart end up saving a relationship

snowflake : they wouldnt have broken up

captaincold : tell pretty bi have you ever even been in a relationship

detectiveprettybi : yes??

captaincold : i meant one that was not just holding hands in kindergarten

detectiveprettybi : u only saying that bc you dont remember kindergarten

captaincold : i know the mental transition didnt happen for you yet

lesbianda : why are men like this

bilance : dick measuring contest dont ask me

snowflake : sometimes i wonder if eddie’s really in love with bar

snowflake : or if he’s just enjoying annoying snart this much

lesbianda : didnt we all agree we’re all in love with bar

lesbianda : snart just a lil more

oliverqueer : true

irisbest : excuse me who the fuck insulted the most beautiful man known to earth

irisbest : Oliver jsyk if you were single I’d have already kidnapped you to the next church and set up a wedding

captaincold : several ppl wanna do that he’s rich

irisbest : hes also nice and kind and beautiful and intelligent

bilance : im gonna go check if he’s crying

lesbianda : Iris has a crush on Ollie pass it on

oliverqueer : jokes on you I’m not home

oliverqueer : Iris <333333 idk what to say thank u

bilance : ARE you crying

oliverqueer : a Little

irisbest : I’ll fight off all your haters

irisbest : but first I gotta kick the fam outta bed I made breakfast

detectiveprettybi : it’s 2pm

irisbest : Game Night got long

lesbianda : you had a game night without me

captaincold : i didn’t know it was game night

bilance : cute

captaincold : but also I’m glad bc I don’t wanna eat your breakfast

irisbest : fucking rude

captaincold : shrug emoji

bilance : Love between in-laws

captaincold : not as literal as you and queen

lesbianda : SHOTS FIRED

oliverqueer : damn Snart what’s up with you today

captaincold : good mood

detectiveprettybi : that’s a good mood?????

captaincold : yeah you’re not used to that bc it always vanishes when I see you

snowflake : how can we get you guys to stop this

detectiveprettybi : look you upset Caitlin

captaincold : sorry Snow

captaincold : not taking anything back though

bilance : wouldn’t have expected anything else

Chapter Text

bilance : [image attached]

bilance : what if I told you these women are not related

babybibibi : what????

irisbest : they literally look the same

spACEbar : what are you talking about these are clearly twins

captaincold : why are there two amayas

lesbianda : THAT is Amaya??????

lesbianda : she’s breathtaking

bilance : Nope the one on the right is Charlie

bilance : she’s a punk from England and she’s one of Amaya’s 7 doppelgängers

spACEbar : i thought that doppelgänger theory meant you only look kinda like them not that you’re a clone

bilance : funniest thing: Ray found her on tinder

pipes : that’s insane

transco : clones are real

captaincold : no were not doing the “would you fuck your clone” meme

transco : rude

detectiveprettybi : i would fuck my clone

pipes : Oliver is right there

bilance : dkfkfllflfjfkgk

spACEbar : fucking your clone is like fucking yourself

babybibibi : yeah lots of ppl masturbate

spACEbar : that’s NOT WHAT I MEANT

captaincold : i literally JUST said we’re not doing this

detectiveprettybi : shrug emoji

oliverqueer : who’s apartment is that it’s not rays

bilance : Nate’s

bilance : turns out he’s rich too did you know

oliverqueer : … no?

bilance : micks reaction to that: “I’m gonna sleep with him”

pipes : mick is a legend

captaincold : gonna finish the trio I see

oliverqueer : Mick slept with Amaya???

captaincold : ofc he did

babybibibi : Are you saying mick has the chance to have a foursome

captaincold : yep

bilance : not anymore

bilance : Ray has gotten himself a gf and while Nate and Amaya are in an open rel Ray ain’t

pipes : that’s the saddest thing I have ever read

transco : damn you ray

detectiveprettybi : i Love that micks type is: Rich™️

captaincold : hes only slept with like three billionaires

irisbest : do you guys chat about whom you’ve banged

captaincold : haven’t banged anyone in ages

lesbianda : it slips into convos

lesbianda : Mick, in line at big belly’s: ever told you I slept with ted kord

oliverqueer : ted kord isn’t a billionaire

pipes : nah he’s just a millionaire

pipes : otherwise he wouldn’t have been to my parents’ galas

transco : “just a millionaire” he says

transco : I once read that if a million is a few days then a billion is more than A DECADE

irisbest : Rich ppl be weird af

spACEbar : wait billionaires don’t hang out with millionaires???????

pipes : nah they can’t possibly stoop that low

babybibibi : damn

bilance : “Mick ted Kord isnt a billionaire” - “damn. What about maxwell lord”


bilance : apparently not

oliverqueer : yeah he’s a billionaire

bilance : [image attached]

bilance : content Mick

bilance : you sure the Heywoods aren’t billionaires

pipes : nate is a Heywood?????

pipes : WAIT.


captaincold : no Nate is short for Sebastian

pipes : fuck off Snart

oliverqueer : don’t Tell me you know Nate

oliverqueer : why is my phone capitalizing shit suddenly

pipes : apparently I do

pipes : he was that kid my parents always told me to go play with but he ignored me bc he’s like 10 years older

oliverqueer : Five but okay

spACEbar : how does everyone know everyone in this town

spACEbar : this city is gigantic how does this happen

detectiveprettybi : Tell me about it

babybibibi : Eddie still can’t deal with being west’s partner

irisbest : we all can’t

bilance : so im telling Mick Nate’s a millionaire

bilance : he’ll be so heartbroken

captaincold : *dickbroken

pipes : wow

lesbianda : when exactly am I meeting Amaya??

transco : Linda you have a gf

lesbianda : no i just gotta meet micks other bff

captaincold : wow what am i the cleaning lady

oliverqueer : i think we can all agree you’re pretty much married

oliverqueer : sorry Bar

spACEbar : it’s fine I made my peace with mick coming before me

captaincold : he does not?

spACEbar : yes he does

captaincold : no

spACEbar : trust me if there was a a situation where you could only save one of us it’d be him

spACEbar : and it’d be ok

captaincold : ?????? It wouldn’t????

irisbest : he doesn’t even realize

spACEbar : okay Len whatever you say

captaincold : Bar. My love.

spACEbar : DROP IT

babybibibi : you ruined Snart pfpfpfpfpfpfp

bilance : Mick and Charlie get along perfectly

bilance : they’ve found some expensive liquor

transco : theyre gonna hook up

bilance : well I hope

bilance : not a lass you let pass by

oliverqueer : stop trying to use British slang

oliverqueer : i doubt Constantine is the standard

bilance : Constantine certainly was the standard for drunk rude sexy bisexual punk brits

transco : this Constantine sounds. Wild

oliverqueer : yeah he works as a wizard at kids parties now

babybibibi : from punk to kid entertainer. Hard drop

oliverqueer : it’s fine he can’t deal with kids but he likes them

transco : oh mood

oliverqueer : oh who’s rays gf btw

bilance : i waited for this

bilance : You’re gonna love this

bilance : [image attached]

oliverqueer : i… have no idea who that is

bilance : oh yeah puberty hit her hard

bilance : that’s Nora Darhk

oliverqueer : NO

bilance : YES

oliverqueer : WHAT

bilance : I KNOW RIGHT

oliverqueer : FUCK OFF

pipes : … who is Nora Darhk

bilance : the daughter of the woman who ran against Moira for mayor years ago

bilance : her dad tried to rig the election, it was wild

bilance : cant believe you didn’t hear about this

transco : we probably did but we weren’t even teens back then

pipes : ^

spACEbar : ^

irisbest : that’s so wild

oliverqueer : Ray can never come over ever again

detectiveprettybi : did this girl ever do anything to you

oliverqueer : no but if my mom knew I was in contact with a Darhk

captaincold : momma’s boy are you

bilance : oh he is

bilance : it’s funny

bilance : aaaaaaaand Mick and Charlie are making out

bilance : im leaving I don’t wanna watch them all get it on

transco : iiiiii get a lil bit genghis khan

transco : don’t want you to get it on


transco : with nobody else but me

transco : BAR! <3

lesbianda : nerds

Chapter Text

snowflake: guys !!!!

snowflake: course offers are online!

lesbianda: already????

transco: lol semester isnt even over for linda fjgjgk

lesbianda: excuse me i’ll have you know i handed in my assignment ten days ago

transco: GO LINDA

lesbianda: [bows] thanks

heatwave: still have more than a month why’s that shit online

transco: mick coming through strong

detectiveprettybi: mick’s more relatable than all of us together

babybibibi: babe why are you already on the uni’s website again

babybibibi: can you please just…….. Enjoy your break

snowflake: i am

snowflake: doesn’t mean i cant prepare for next semester

lesbianda: cait do we need to tie you up

heatwave: kinky

lesbianda: mick no

pipes: i mean. /yes/

babybibibi: hart nO

heatwave: small ones are kinky

transco: you know i love how we’re all so open with each other and all

transco: but i’d really like to get back to the course offers

detectiveprettybi: spoilsport

babybibibi: i thought bar was the master of distraction

pipes: they really became worse at that since they started dating snart

lesbianda: well now snart just makes ppl shut up

transco: don’t make it sound like bar’s just like… insanely passive

transco: bar’s their own person

babybibibi: activated the protective bff

lesbianda: i woudl never ever in my whole life insult bar allen, the light of everyone’s life

detectiveprettybi: and why would you

lesbianda: exactly!

lesbianda: why would i!

oliverqueer: felicity once said that bar is like pudding

pipes: we dont all speak the language of felicity oliver

oliverqueer: everyone loves pudding

snowflake: i doubt that but it’s a nice sentiment

oliverqueer: her first simile was world of warcraft and i just was like honey,,,

transco: i love that you call each other honey. It’s so wholesome

oliverqueer: :3c

pipes: stop

detectiveprettybi: stop

babybibibi: stop

transco: stop

lesbianda: stop

heatwave: stop

irisbest: stop

transco: oh hi iris

irisbest: hi!

irisbest: so what classes are y’all taking

transco: other than what i need? ASL

pipes: BABE

transco: <3

snowflake: i feel like we should all take ASL

oliverqueer: it would make sense

lesbianda: do you think we can shut the fuck up during class

babybibibi: yeah a class with all of us would be Bad

irisbest: Chaos™

pipes: i appreciate but yeah you should probs take online classes

irisbest: i’ve been eyeing some creative writing class for the past ten minutes

lesbianda: someone tell snart about the impressionism art class

heatwave: you have his number

lesbianda: don’t expose me like this

oliverqueer: i wanted to take russian

bilance: russian. What the fuck

bilance: you barely manage english

transco: oh ym god

pipes: sara just lives to harrass oliver

bilance: i do

bilance: but for real what the fuck do you want with russian

captaincold: plottwist: queen’s in contact with the russian mafia

babybibibi: that’s stuff for a tv show

irisbest: he’s a pretty queer billionaire who does archery that’s already enough stuff for a tv show

lesbianda: iris is gonna write fic about oliver in her writing class

irisbest: [gif voice] maybe so

transo: gif voice

irisbest: i have never seen the source i have no idea what it is beyond the gif let me have this

transco: okay

pipes: holy shit there’s a class on roman mythologies

pipes: bitch i’m going

babybibibi: ofc u are

bilance: i wanted to try out capoeira

oliverqueer: sure add another martial art

lesbianda: how many are you at by now

bilance: two and a half

bilance: and im only at blue and green with the 2

heatwave: what are they all

pipes: someone mention sports and mick is an eye emoji

bilance: judo is blue kyu, ju jutsu is green and i only tried a lil of tescao plus there are no belts unless they have been hiding that fact from me

heatwave: sweet

heatwave: capoeira’s really breaking the streak here

bilance: just wanna know all the arts of kicking someone in the balls

lesbianda: hm mood

babybibibi: yall really wanna beat up ppl w testicles huh

bilance: yeah

lesbianda: only cis dudes usually

detectiveprettybi: u know what i just realized

detectiveprettybi: Are y’all gonna throw me out of this chat

transco: now why the fuck would we do that

detectiveprettybi: im not a student any more

detectiveprettybi: and yall were pretty fixed on that rule

pipes: dude if we added every queer person we know into this chat then it’d be pretty cosy

pipes: still oliver ill kill you if you throw out eddie just saiyng

bilance: as the captain of this chat i declare that eddie stays

oliverqueer: well as the ADMIN i share the sentiment

oliverqueer: honestly this chat goes beyond the uni club

lesbianda: yeah we a family

lesbianda: tight af

transco: linda ilu but never talk like that again

lesbianda: yeah it felt strange

irisbest: hm what are we gonna do when new ppl wanna join the club next semester

oliverqueer: maybe actually act like one

oliverqueer: we’ve been a mess that mostly communicates online and the few times we actually met up in a club-like setting were... few

oliverqueer: and no, drinking together doesn’t count

pipes: damn which meetings DO count then

heatwave: first 1 and christmas

heatwave: they sucked

babybibibi: bc there was no alcohol?

heatwave: ya

spACEbar: i cant even believe eddie thought it possible we could throw him out

snowflake: ikr it’s not like we were subtle about wanting him to stay

detectiveprettybi: im sorry it’s one thing if you want me to stay around physically and another if it comes to this chat!!!

captaincold: trust me i don’t want either

transco: one day youll be best friends i swear

captaincold: i’d rather been blown up

oliverqueer: do you have enemies where that’s a likely result

captaincold: hm yeah definitely could happen

irisbest: worrisome

pipes: hey so would we add new club members to this chat

babybibibi: didnt you just say it’d get crowded

pipes: i said if we added EVERY queer person we know

captaincold: imagine if pipes added everyone who fucked him

bilance: i doubt this chat has that much data

pipes: slutshaming!

transco: you guys realize HR developed this chat for the uni only

transco: can’t use it if you’re not a student. Or well. Ex student

spACEbar: cisco being the only one with common sense

bilance: savage @ bar

irisbest: they woke up with that big mouth don’t ask me

transco: it’s the birthday excitement buzzing in their veins

lesbianda: isn’t it your birthday soon too cisco

transco: more than a month

transco: arm emoji

spACEbar: why arent we making a fuzz about that cisco turns 21 too

detectiveprettybi: yeah but literally nothing changes for him

detectiveprettybi: he already drinks

pipes: my bf is wild

captaincold: you’d know

pipes: ;)

babybibibi: he is

snowflake: i feel like we don’t even know each other birthdays

transco: oh no

snowflake: let’s make a round! Mine is 28th june!

spACEbar: i think mine’s known by now but. 14th march

transco: 20 april

detectiveprettybi: 6 april

bilance: 25 dec

pipes: 10 nov

captaincold: … 2 june

oliverqueer: 16 may

lesbianda: 18 july

lesbianda: mick’s is 28 august

irisbest: 24 june

babybibibi: 21 april

detectiveprettybi: hang on ronnie and cisco’s brithdays are right after one another

detectiveprettybi: this is legendary

spACEbar: dmn april and june‘s gonna be expensive

snowflake: WAIT

snowflake: HARTLEY

snowflake: WE MISSED YOUR BIRTHDAY????????

pipes: dw we went out drinking on that day anyways

pipes: and then i spent the night cuddled up with cisco so

pipes: shrug emoji

transco: wait we weren’t together then

pipes: nah rmbr when i got smashed and wanted to hook up with axel but you thought that aint a good idea when drunk

transco: … not really no

transco: but hey im a fucking hero

lesbianda: sometimes i feel like just rereading this chat for the lolz

snowflake: aw that warms my heart

detectiveprettybi: i love how that memory’s burnt into hartley’s mind

detectiveprettybi: it’s precious

spACEbar: wait so are you 20 bc I remember you introducing yourself as 19 in October

pipes: yeah no i was thinking ahead

captaincold: damn pipes when the fuck did you finish high school

pipes: @ 17 why

transco: stop bragging so casually

heatwave: hey snart you received sexual acts from a 18yo kid

captaincold: oh shit

lesbianda: and he exploded

spACEbar: definitely

Chapter Text


transco: who’s y’all’s fav superhero

babybibibi : does wicked + the divine count

transco : i know of your massive boner for inanna but those are gods

pipes : so loki doesn’t count either?

transco : first of all, loki is a villain

pipes : is not!

transco : is too

pipes : is not

pipes : i told you to read agent of asgard

transco : …

transco : either way he’s a god anyways

lesbianda : karolina dean

captaincold : oh the lesbian

lesbianda : My Brand™

heatwave : blade

transco : i did not expect mick to actually answer to this

captaincold : mick digs vampire killers

heatwave : carryin a stake wherever i go

lesbianda : and he aint ashamed

babybibibi : how are you such an icon

irisbest : storm

captaincold : classy

transco : mine’s wiccan like y’all know

transco : snart stop commenting on everyone and share yours

snowflake : mine’s phoenix!!!!

captaincold : easy, bobby drake

lesbianda : wait who’s bobby drake

transco : iceman

lesbianda : of course

pipes : something:  has to do with cold | snart: on it

transco : im surprised he didnt fall in love with caitlin for her last name alone tbh

babybibibi : not that i encourage it but leonard snow sounds cool

pipes : it does

lesbianda : i have to agree

transco : did you cry when they made him come out

captaincold : not at all

heatwave : kept chanting that he knew it tho

captaincold : well? I DID know it

babybibibi : your gaydar works on fictional characters that’s amazing

captaincold : what, yours doesn’t?

babybibibi : we’re at the wishful thinking stage

detectiveprettybi : that’s so sad

transco : eddie my man who’s your fav

detectiveprettybi : magneto hands down

heatwave : wow

heatwave : think snart’s considering to burn his magneto was right shirt

pipes : snart has a magneto was right shirt???

transco : this is amazing

transco : this is better than when hart sucked up and wore a graphic tee of mine for the first time

lesbianda : true love

babybibibi : snart and eddie agree on something other than worshipping bar???

captaincold : i have a solidarity towards magneto based on judaism alone

irisbest : magneto was fuckin right

spACEbar : idk he was extreme

detectiveprettybi : OF COURSE HE WAS


captaincold : bar i love you lets not have our first big fight about this

spACEbar : im sorry?

oliverqueer : i think this is a good time to point out that recently I have come to accept Hawkeye as my fav

lesbianda : is it the archery

oliverqueer : ofc its the archery

pipes : i love the ASL issue

oliverqueer : ya that was amazing

oliverqueer : mcu should step up

pipes : ok while we’re at that i have chosen my fav hero other than loki

transco : do tell

pipes : nyle dimarco

heatwave : the fuck is that

pipes : [image attached]

irisbest : oh damn

babybibibi : oh wow

transco : OH HIM

pipes : he’s a Deaf model & actor, won ANTM and dancing w/ the stars and also he has a degree in maths

pipes : frequently speaks up about Deaf issues and also he’s “sexually fluid”

oliverqueer : wow

lesbianda : damn even i just fell in love

pipes : he’s amazing

captaincold : huh

heatwave : snart’s nod of approval

irisbest : now that’s a white man i would trust

transco : OH SPEAKING OF

transco : [image attached]

oliverqueer : i thought we were past newsies

pipes : oh ollie

heatwave : ain’t newsies the pic quality’s too good

irisbest : eye emoji @ mick

lesbianda : a man of hidden talents

pipes : that’s not Christian bale

babybibibi : it’s not????

pipes : ik it looks like it but

pipes : [image attached]

transco : we figured Eddie could like that

detectiveprettybi : wait

detectiveprettybi : BRUCE WAYNE????

irisbest : why does Bruce look like Christian bale fjfkflfj

spACEbar : are you getting an Instagram finally Eddie

transco : he has such a lovely profile it’s mostly like a Humans of Gotham Thing

transco : he loves his city

lesbianda : how can you love Gotham

pipes : don’t forget the borderline suggestive selfies babe

pipes : [image attached]

pipes : the caption for this is just a coffee shop rec

bilance : this is brilliant

bilance : i Love brucie

detectiveprettybi : how did you think it was a good idea to introduce me to this

detectiveprettybi : when my first day at work is tomorrow

transco : figured it’d be a nice distraction

heatwave : shoot off some steam


spACEbar : why did I KNOW you’d do that

transco : bc you’re the only one other than him who’s actually listened to Spring Awakening more than once

detectiveprettybi : excuse me I have a crisis

captaincold : like Mick said jerk off and be quiet

irisbest : who says he’s quiet

oliverqueer : go ahead and remind him that you hooked up

detectiveprettybi : I’ll get shot tomorrow

pipes : I’ll bring you flowers

detectiveprettybi : thanks

bilance : Bruce might like if you get injured on duty

bilance : that shits hot

lesbianda : did you talk about kinks

bilance : sadly no but

babybibibi : guy keeps supporting the police right

oliverqueer : well as much as you can in Gotham I guess

captaincold : he keeps pointing out that one guy all the time

captaincold : wants him to become commissioner

pipes : eye emoji

transco : eye emoji

irisbest : eye emoji

heatwave : hes still scanning police news

heatwave : also gossip

spACEbar : he loves the gossip

lesbianda : he really does

captaincold : i regret joining this chat

oliverqueer : you should be used to someone being dragged in here by now

babybibibi : yeah but usually he’s the one dragging

captaincold : ^

bilance : the only one who drags him is west

detectiveprettybi : speaking of that I should go to bed

transco : sleep well!

oliverqueer : you can survive it!

babybibibi : arm emoji

pipes : the instagram handle is gothamknight btw

detectiveprettybi : <3

irisbest : don’t be weird around my dad

spACEbar : joe is great you’ll see

lesbianda : be nice to joe and he’ll be nice to you

detectiveprettybi : I’ll just. Try to do my job I guess

heatwave : clever idea at work

detectiveprettybi : OKAY BYE

Chapter Text

spACEbar : there was no nervous breakdown in here????

spACEbar : i swear joe had one

transco : joe had what now

spACEbar : he kept muttering and swearing the whole morning and kept fumbling with his tie

heatwave : wants to look better than a rookie

transco : seems likely

spACEbar : iris just went “this is gonna end in a death”

spACEbar : wally is just laughing his ass off

snowflake : you have explained the situation to him right

spACEbar : yeah i told him we know eddie from the chat

spACEbar : and judging by our reactions he guessed one of us has slept with eddie and It Ain’t Me

transco : [selena gomez intensifies]

transco : is it even okay to mention her to the bieber stan #1

spACEbar : i dont deserve this slander

heatwave : u think pretty bi killed the quiver

transco : you’re so obsessed with this mick

heatwave : old habits die hard

snowflake : one of the ppl in the quiver would’ve texted about it i’m sure

spACEbar : that’s true

spACEbar : in case of the apocalypse happening we’d all be making memes about it

transco : there’ll be ppl who make memes about how ppl make memes

spACEbar : memeception

snowflake : did detective west leave already?

spACEbar : yeah that’s how i got time to text

spACEbar : iris is currently chasing wally through the house but that boy’s got speed

heatwave : doesnt he got school

spACEbar : mick you genius

spACEbar : imma save iris

transco : run bar run!!!!

snowflake : why is she even chasing wally

transco : we can only guess

heatwave : inapprehensible comments

snowflake : … do you mean inappropriate

heatwave : yes

transco : it sounds v likely

pipes : miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick come pick me up and buy me breeeeaaaaaaakfaaaaaaaaaaast

heatwave : no

transco : that aint hartley

heatwave : lisa

transco : adds up

snowflake : lisa why do you have hartley’s phone

pipes : was closer than mine

pipes : mick, lenny will read youve been mean to me :(

heatwave : ain’t even mean

heatwave : just lazy

transco : why is Hart’s phone closer than urs

pipes : crashed in his bed

transco : ah.

spACEbar : I thought you hated each other

pipes : nah we’re besties nowadays keep up Bar dear

spACEbar : honestly this is getting more difficult by the minute

pipes : we watched the live action beauty and the beast yesterday

transco : how did you do that hartley hates it

pipes : yeah I know now

pipes : anyway I wish my Better Older Brother™️ Michael Lincoln Rory would spend some quality time with me :(((

snowflake : are you really calling mick your brother

snowflake : that’s so sweet!

pipes : until they went straight I’d always expected them to get married for a job so yeah

heatwave : not straight

spACEbar : “straight”

transco : STRAIGHT

snowflake : very straight

irisbest : straight

bilance : lol straight

oliverqueer : straight.

pipes : how the hell

transco : anyway yes it was established that coldwave are pretty much married

pipes : you gave them a shipname!!!

heatwave : No

spACEbar : capitalization

transco : all of us have shipnames. Like hart and I are hartmon

pipes : that makes no sense why his first name and your last one

transco : idk bc it sounds like a digimon?

spACEbar : valid!

snowflake : Ollie and felicity are olicity and Sara and nyssa are nyssara

pipes : what are Bar and Lenny

oliverqueer : Captain Space

pipes : they know no space when they’re together

irisbest : called tf out

irisbest : Lisa I’ll buy you breakfast if we can roast ppl together

pipes : my fav free time activity

captaincold : it better be

pipes : aw brother dear

irisbest : You’re subject number 1

captaincold : ofc i am

pipes : she really woke me up by dropping the phone into MY FACE

heatwave : that’s her soft side

captaincold : once when we were younger she made my bed snap closed

captaincold : while I was in it

transco : how did she do that

heatwave : I helped

oliverqueer : ofc you did

spACEbar : back to Eddie tho do you think he’ll text during break

babybibibi : i feel like he won’t even leave his assigned space for the day

snowflake : are they on patrol or desk

spACEbar : desk

captaincold : detective was very happy about that

pipes : did he complain to YOU?

spACEbar : he even complained to the delivery guy last week

transco : joe is so iconic

pipes : if dig and laurel won’t adopt me he should

pipes : not like he’s got no experience

captaincold : you do realize Bar is not adopted

pipes : potato potahto

oliverqueer : actually that’s a big difference they could legally marry Iris

spACEbar : I feel weird about saying this but

spACEbar : in another life,

captaincold : can someone else make the obligatory pretty bi comment I do not want to

transco : ofc YOU’d know that Oliver

captaincold : thank you Cisco

captaincold : you're the second to last I will kill

pipes : rude

captaincold : pipes when in your whole life have you ever done something for me

pipes : …

pipes : okay fair

oliverqueer : is Mick number one

captaincold : obviously not

heatwave : number one of who he WILL kill

captaincold : ^

babybibibi : i love this friendship

lesbianda : joe is extremely irritated by what a “suck up” Eddie is

snowflake : did you go to the precinct again

lesbianda : no he called me

spACEbar : who now

lesbianda : joe

transco : incredible

lesbianda : hes going crazy

lesbianda : for now I told him to play it cool after all that guys new to the job

lesbianda : next Time I’ll set them up for dinner

pipes : Iris will kill you

spACEbar : ???? What exactly is Eddie doing

lesbianda : hes nice and jittery and keeps swaying between talking too much and too little

lesbianda : he also grins the whole time

captaincold : horror

transco : but eddies smile is pretty :(

lesbianda : yeah but he’s GRINNING. Non-stop. He looks cray

pipes : cray cray

spACEbar : Jesus

detectiveprettybi : leave me alone this is stressful

spACEbar : oh where did joe go

detectiveprettybi : no idea he just huffed and walked away

captaincold : iconic

lesbianda : eddie!!!! Chill!!!!!!

lesbianda : could you just finally act like joe’s a normal person

detectiveprettybi : i am!

detectiveprettybi : it’s my first day at my dream job exCUSE ME IF I’M NERVOUS

pipes : aw you’re a baby

detectiveprettybi : we can’t all be collected rich ppl

pipes : formerly rich

heatwave : nothin to be proud of kid

pipes : >:(

transco : anyway eddie im positive you’re doing a great job anyways, just relax

bilance : my dad sung hymns for you ed

bilance : i just woke up

captaincold : how’s nyssa

bilance : very well, thank you

bilance : anyway eddie, you are a very capable guy and have nothing to fear

pipes : the first part of that had the sound of an innuendo

lesbianda : no it didn’t

babybibibi : not really, no

spACEbar : ….? Am i too ace to see that

oliverqueer : literally how

captaincold : wtf pipes

heatwave : lil one, ya bf is horny

transco : lol when isnt he

captaincold : pls go and take care of that

transco : ill let him suffer

pipes : ;A;

bilance : i guess west is back at the desk

babybibibi : rip eddie

Chapter Text

transco : my dear friend bar henry allen,

transco : if i were any better with words, i would enter them here

transco : for now, though: a very happy birthday to you!

transco : the world is a better place with you in it and i’m thankful for it.

transco : i have been, and always shall be, your friend

heatwave : this aint a private chat kid

transco : yeah i know

transco : maybe i wanted to make y’all jealous with our aWESOME FRIENDSHIP

babybibibi : everyone has an awesome friendship to bar, sco

babybibibi : that being said


pipes : happy birthday bar!

heatwave : they’re asleep already

bilance : eye emoji

bilance : how’d you know

heatwave : snart’s unsure whether to call them to wish a happy birthday or not

heatwave : keeps picking up and setting down his phone

heatwave : it’s annoying

oliverqueer : happy birthday bar!!!

bilance : happy birthday bar

bilance : cant wait to see you drunk

pipes : oh btw to celebrate, are we heading to saints & sinners or?

heatwave : no

transco : mick you keep getting more and more present here

heatwave : i see saints & sinners often enough i wanna go somewhere else

babybibibi : let’s go to deville

pipes : guys you do realize that cisco and i still aren’t 21

transco : yeah we might not get in

bilance : let ollie take care of that

heatwave : lol if anyone tried to bribe me i’d kick them in the ass

oliverqueer : we can’t go to deville i’m banned there

babybibibi : wait what

bilance : OH RIGHT

bilance : was that FOR LIFE?

oliverqueer : yeah

oliverqueer : pretty dramatic

transco : wHY are you banned

bilance : made a girl take off her shirt on the dancefloor

bilance : public nudity is frowned upon

pipes : im so sad i was too young to really pay attention to the high points of oliver’s life

oliverqueer : wow fucking rude

pipes : i meant the time you fulfilled your duty as a rich and ruthless billionaire teen

heatwave : poison

transco : poison?

babybibibi : poison for oliver?

heatwave : y’all live here don’t ya

heatwave : how’d you not know about poison as in the nightclub

bilance : ….. We can’t go to poison either

oliverqueer : max fuller isn’t particularly fond of us

babybibibi : i’m

pipes : what the hell oliver

oliverqueer : im only a third of the reason!!!!

transco : eye emoji

oliverqueer : max sent his goonies after me once in his club

oliverqueer : so tommy and i got in a fight with them

bilance : and laurel broke it off, threatened fuller in the best lawyer manner etc

pipes : why did fuller sent his goonies after you

bilance : guess

transco : oliver could you ever keep it in your pants

oliverqueer : they werent married yet!!!


oliverqueer : I DIDNT KNOW


babybibibi : gasp!!! She used him!

bilance : anyway yeah that’s why we can’t go to poison

captaincold : club neon

pipes : what the hell is club neon

heatwave : they have rocknroll parties on thursdays

babybibibi : it’s a wednesday

captaincold : yeah it’s great bc i fucking hate rock’n’roll

transco : can we get inside tho

bilance : let Oliver take care of that, as I said

pipes : am I comfortable with that?

transco : I’m hella

heatwave : pipes is passing down an opportunity to get wasted

heatwave : wow

pipes : nah I’m not

pipes : I’m game

bilance : Great!

oliverqueer : Club neon it is

babybibibi : yaaaayyyyy

spACEbar : thanks you guys!!!!

detectiveprettybi : happy brithday bar i love you a lot!

spACEbar : thank you eddie!

spACEbar : <3

detectiveprettybi : i love how you have no say in where we go

spACEbar : i made my peace with that

detectiveprettybi : such a peaceful person

spACEbar : oh did you decide whether you’re coming with tonight or not?

detectiveprettybi : im gonna risk it

spACEbar : yayyy!!

spACEbar : you know sometimes i think we should just get in the clear with joe about this whole thing

detectiveprettybi : should’ve done that right at the start now it’s too late

lesbianda : it’s literally your third day at the ccpd

lesbianda : bar dear happy birthday would you like a donut

spACEbar : are you coming over????

lesbianda : ofc i am

spACEbar : !!!!

spACEbar : can i get a cupcake

lesbianda : you can get 20 cupcakes

spACEbar : :D

detectiveprettybi : Bar do you have any plans today beyond partying

lesbianda : stop switching the topic!!!

spACEbar : yeah actually you’ll have the best opportunity to tell joe you actually know us bc well come pick him up from work

spACEbar : family dinner :~)

detectiveprettybi : i really don’t think it’s a good idea……

lesbianda : don’t have to tell him you slept with Iris duh

lesbianda : just that you know us all

detectiveprettybi : hm

detectiveprettybi : maybe

snowflake : is Snart part of the family dinner

snowflake : happy birthday bar <3

spACEbar : thanks Cait <3333

spACEbar : no he isn’t but we’re visiting my dad before dinner

snowflake : sweet!

detecticeprettybi : i gotta Head to the precinct, see ya

lesbianda : have fun ;)

irisbest : Boys Hella punctual ain’t he

irisbest : the quiver is closer to the station than our house and yet he leaves before dad

snowflake : doesn’t wanna mess up

irisbest : Bar will you ever leave your bed

spACEbar : leave me alone I’m old now

irisbest : I’ll send Wally to you

spACEbar : why is he still at home!!!!!

pipes : School only starts at 11 for him on Wednesdays

lesbianda : cant believe hartley knows that and you don’t

irisbest : they’ve become friends ever since working on that fuel stuff

pipes : :)

snowflake : hartley? Having social competence?? I’m so proud

pipes : fuck u ronnie

spACEbar : she really sent Wally at me

spACEbar : but jokes on Iris

spACEbar : [image attached]

snowflake : aw cuddly

lesbianda : stay like this I’ll hurry my ass

pipes : run Linda run

lesbianda : [forrest Gump voice] im linda. Linda paaaark

spACEbar : I won’t leave my bed until I have to

pipes : the age is really hitting hard huh

spACEbar : young boy, you wouldn’t understand

pipes : WHEN I WAS

pipes : A YOUNG BOY

pipes : MY FATHER


irisbest : i feel like we had something like this already once

irisbest : hartley, for the love of god

transco : can we all stop by for a Birthday Breakfast™



snowflake : breakfast and cuddles?

spACEbar : breakfast and cuddles!!!!!!!!!

spACEbar : just bring some stuff with you

pipes : lol eddie will be so mad when he finds out

pipes : i, however, am quite thankful i won’t be there

spACEbar : hartley what no!!!

pipes : im at work im sorry :((

lesbianda : youre forgiven

lesbianda : in other news iris open the door i cant ring the bell

transco : instead of, you know, putting away your phone so you have a free hand

lesbianda : dont be daft cisco

pipes : yeah babe how can you possibly assume linda would ever put away her phone

snowflake : she’s a journalist she can’t legally do that

transco : doubt.png but okay

pipes : again with the png

transco : ignoring you

oliverqueer : bar is your bed even stable enough to carry us all

spACEbar : probably not but i also have a floor

spACEbar : and blankets and pillows on mass

oliverqueer : hmmmm

pipes : lisa is asking if she can come

transco : when did u become so tight with lisa

snowflake : he’s going all out lately

transco : ikr what happened to the loner emo hartley

oliverqueer : you hated the loner emo hartley

snowflake : i didnt

oliverqueer : yeah obvsly

pipes : im having character development that yall can only dream of

transco : …. I mean yeah

snowflake : it’s nothing in comparison to snart’s tho

pipes : well snart is standard you should not pull

irisbest : [image attached]

irisbest : they look so happy

transco : LINDA



lesbianda : tough luck sweetheart

transco : >:(

captaincold : … i will just stay put until noon then

snowflake : noooooooooo snart come cuddle

snowflake : we are currently leaving our apartment

irisbest : bring mick too i heard he gives great cuddles

lesbianda : [image attached]

captaincold : are you trying to bribe me with a pouting bar

lesbianda : yes is it working

pipes : what do you think

heatwave : i hate you all

lesbianda : :D

irisbest : :D

oliverqueer : are we just gonna stay at the west’s until we go party

pipes : they’re leaving later did you forget

oliverqueer : i feel like linda and snart are two people who’d be allowed in the house even if no west were present

oliverqueer : so as long as One of them is there….

lesbianda : we’ll see about that

pipes : well if you do stay please tell me

transco : obviously


pipes : geez so demanding

Chapter Text

oliverqueer : does anyone else got problems getting rid of the paint

transco : a little but it’s fine

transco : started the night looking like the german flag but now I’m Ghana or something

heatwave : u and pipes got literally dirty huh

transco : better tell me if I can save these sheets or if they’re a case for the trash

oliverqueer : i look like a Panda or smth

oliverqueer : Felicity and Bar teaming up is not good

pipes : you looked nice with that eye shadow

pipes : you should try real one instead of paint at some point

heatwave : gotta put the sheets in some bleach and let it sit for like a day

heatwave : clean normally then and U good

transco : Mick are you secretly a houseman

heatwave : nah pretty told me

detectiveprettybi : ???? I did not

captaincold : no Nate is pretty

detectiveprettybi : is he now

bilance : hm Nate IS pretty

irisbest : i forgot if we’ve ever seen Nate

oliverqueer : at rays birthday party definitely

bilance : [image attached]

irisbest : oh yes i remember

detectiveprettybi : wait if nate is pretty what am I

captaincold : annoying

heatwave : pretty bi

transco : simple

pipes : mick: namedrops a pretty dude

pipes : everyone: suddenly awake

detectiveprettybi : were easy

oliverqueer : is bar alright

oliverqueer : we might have given them too much alcohol

captaincold : nah they’re fine they’re sleeping

heatwave : didn’t even make it through the first half of moana

transco : u guys watched moana.

heatwave : they were really demanding

pipes : I feel like they actually know the impact their adorableness has and use that for their success

irisbest : yeah they’re an evil mastermind

bilance : i knew it

captaincold : Mick likes te kā

heatwave : fire

detectiveprettybi : huh Yeah

captaincold : in other news who took Bars phone

oliverqueer : oh didn’t we all have it at some point

bilance : i have to wonder why we thought they could fuck up via text

bilance : what does a drunk bar feel except even more love

heatwave : hunger

irisbest : Bar is always hungry

transco : I think Caitlin had the phone last

pipes : i envy bar for having their first hangover in the presence of mick’s hangover scrambled eggs

pipes : they might even be better than dig’s

bilance : gasPS i’ll tell him

pipes : NO


detectiveprettybi : when did the adoption go through

pipes : it’s through in my heart

bilance : can both laurel and dig adopt you when they’re not married tho

captaincold : you guys should ask your local lawyer

transco : can’t, laurel doesn’t know she’s adopting hart

captaincold : that’s unfortunate

detectiveprettybi : one day you’ll have to break the news to them hartley

pipes : you mean. Like other news

detectiveprettybi : shhhhhhhhh

babybibibi : eye emoji

detectiveprettybi : morning ronnie

heatwave : smooth

detectiveprettybi : dont mind hartley he’s still drunk

transco : pretty sure he aint

detectiveprettybi : pretty sure he is. I will bring him a coffee bc im nice

transco : bring me one too

bilance : wait cisco you crashed at the quiver

transco : i literally entered the house with yall

bilance : i…. Have no memory of seeing you

babybibibi : sco’s too small

transco : shrug emoji

detectiveprettybi : coffee’s coming up

irisbest : so did anyone else find that weird

oliverqueer : yeah something’s definitely up

bilance : hella weird

bilance : where’s linda when you need her

captaincold : y’all are litera

babybibibi : what just happened

oliverqueer : snart?

bilance : this gets weirder and weirder

heatwave : nah he had to rush to the bathroom

heatwave : with bar

irisbest : oh no

babybibibi : they grow old so fast :’)

heatwave : nothing a healthy vomit fest can’t heal

bilance : gross

babybibibi : like that’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever heard

irisbest : head’s up bar will be screaming for food within ten minutes

irisbest : every time they get sick, i tell ya

oliverqueer : they truly do eat a lot

transco : [image attached]

transco : gotta love the quiver

babybibibi : that was no fantasy threesome listed in this chat

babybibibi : but a nice sight

bilance : is it bc eddie is shirtless

babybibibi : yeah that’s the only reason. My ex and my best friend are horrible to look at

pipes : ;/

oliverqueer : jeez you really do still feel the alcohol

captaincold : i will never in my whole life every drink alcohol again

detectiveprettybi : classic

snowflake : oh Bar are you alright

captaincold : I think I puked out a kidney

captaincold : like seriously

captaincold : theyre being dramatic

oliverqueer : did Snart just call someone else dramatic

snowflake : did you get some painkillers yet?

snowflake : also peppermint tea

captaincold : this ain’t the first hangover we’re dealing with but thanks snow

snowflake : :)

bilance : aw cait

irisbest : let her

irisbest : my dad keeps asking if Linda ever wakes up

pipes : oh she crashed at urs

irisbest : yeah and I think she’s getting all the sleep her blogging stole from her now

babybibibi : good for her

transco : [image attached]

detectiveprettybi : watching cisco frantically search for a meme before its too late is soooo entertaining

babybibibi : agreed

pipes : ^

captaincold : bar agrees

irisbest : same

snowflake : me too

transco : listen, do you know how much shit is in my meme folder

oliverqueer : really dedicated are you

lesbianda : hey uhhhh bar i might have ruined your pillows

bilance : why did you sleep in bar’s bed of all things

lesbianda : iris kicks while she sleeps

snowflake : scroll up, mick said how to get rid off stains

lesbianda : sure im gonna do the laundry in a foreign home

irisbest : “foreign”

lesbianda : you know what i mean

babybibibi : when is bar leaving again

captaincold : tomorrow

bilance : im leaving on monday

oliverqueer : literally who asked

snowflake : i would have asked

bilance : see that’s why cait’s my fav

lesbianda : cait is your fav?

bilance : cait is everyone’s fav

transco : i thought bar is everyone’s fav

detectiveprettybi : both. Both is good.

oliverqueer : dreamworks represent

irisbest : im still so shook oliver is a dreamworks guy

pipes : “im not like other guys, i like dreamworks!!!!”

bilance : pretty sure he really used that as a pick-up line

captaincold : wow

captaincold : in other news: caitlin, ronnie, mick’s coming over to grab bar’s phone. Be decent or be not, idc

transco : dare i say iconiqué

Chapter Text

WhatsApp group: BEST-Family ❤️🍕💯

February 27 2018


Joe 👮🏾: Kids, I’d appreciate if

y’all could send me a message before

showing up at the precinct.

Iris 💅🏾 : well we couldnt

possibly guess that the others would be

there too could we

especially linda

how should we account for linda

Wally 🏎️ : i feel like soon we’ll

have to add her to this chat

Iris 💅🏾: we’ll just make a new chat and call

it ‘appointments to visit dad at work’

Iris 💅🏾: we’ll include us three, cecile, joanie,

snart and linda

maybe mick and cisco too

Wally 🏎️: has cisco ever visited joe at work

Iris 💅🏾: no but maybe he wants to

yeah didn’t you two become tight

Joe 👮🏾: I have talked to Cisco about three

times in my life.

Wally 🏎️: cisco and me are tight af

Joe 👮🏾: Language.

Wally 🏎️: i didn’t even write full words!

Iris 💅🏾: wow dad when did you learn internet


Joe 👮🏾: There was a workshop specifically

regarding abbreviations.


Wally 🏎️: kewl so nao we can talk lik this n

dadll catch tf up

oh god

Iris 💅🏾: that was horrible

Iris 💅🏾: dont ever do that again

Joe 👮🏾: Wallace, no.

ohhhhh full name

Iris 💅🏾: youre screwed

Joe 👮🏾: Language.

Iris 💅🏾: like you dont curse

Joe 👮🏾: I am the parent.

Iris 💅🏾: and we’re adults

except for wally. Wally’s a baby

Iris 💅🏾: thats been established

Wally 🏎️: hey!

Wally 🏎️: anyway we couldnt posisbly know

we’d all show up @ ur work

Wally 🏎️: and we certainly couldnt have known

youd get a new partner today right guys


Iris 💅🏾: how could we POSSIBLY

Joe 👮🏾: Don’t remind me of that.

Joe 👮🏾: You know, I thought Singh and I were

buds but there he goes giving me a freaking


Joe 👮🏾: Better shoulda given me deskwork 24/7.

aw joe he’s probably a great guy

fantastic even

Iris 💅🏾: yeah right!!!!! Singh wouldve never given

you someone Bad

Joe 👮🏾: Yeah, just someone reckless and probably


Wally 🏎️: not like we could judge him right



Cisco  🖖🏼

March 03 2018



from one person who dates an emotionally

handicapped person to the other


what’s up!!!

also i wouldnt actually describe len

like that



he’s surprisingly good at emotions he

just doesnt like to show them

well to most people at least i guess

well great that ruins my premise

then skip that and go to The Thing

right. Thanks

so um

hartley said he loves me


That’s so great!!!!!!!!!!!

and i kind of didnt say it back



what do you mean “kind of”

well i


that’s basically what i said


like. Were you just so surprised or

i don’t know man!

weve been dating for like 4 months and

before that i spent the majority of my life

hating him!

also like. one second we were fighting about

that me still living there thing and then he says

he's just worried bc he loves me?????


sorry i mean

that’s valid

it’s okay if you’re not at that step yet

as long as you’re honest with him

about that

yeah thats what he said too

but still i feel. Majorly bad


but hartley’s a reasonable guy it’s not

like he’s already planning your wedding

or stuff

i hope at least

maybe all those musicals have gone

to his head

whos his fav in les mis


nah he’s fine

that actually made me laugh

you want me to come over?

I can bring star trek beyond with me

oh yes give me that sweet spones action



Len 💗 💛 🎨 💙

March 09 2018


hey is it ok if i tell hal and

kara about you?

I thought your friends already know

you’re taken

me? Telling my friends about you

before we even started dating?

It’s more likely than you think!

next time Mick says I use too many

memes I’ll just lock him up with you

lbr nobody can top Cisco

eye emoji



and you knew what you were getting into

yeah i realized as soon as i hit send

aNYWAY i meant tell them about…

well your past

but like!! Just, you know, thieving.

And prison and. Stuff.

Bar, you can totally go ahead and tell them

how we met, yes.

I’m surprised you didn’t already

why are you typing like this

got my serious mood on

well? Stop

anything for you

so you really dont mind?

I’d tell you if I did babe


anything else on your mind?

hm not really

can’t pinpoint it yet

that’s ok take your time


are you in the mood to go to the

cinema tonight?

black panther is still running

didn’t you see it with cisco already

yeah and it’s GREAT

do i need to know the other movies

i’ll fill you in if you need it


food too?

hm maybe afterwards

movie’s running @ 7

ill pick you up at half

great! <3

i love you

love you too




March 14 2018





Hal ✈️: come on you can’t be sleeping already!!!


Hal ✈️: it’s your birthday!!!!!

Hal ✈️: i hope that boyfriend of yours is keeping

you busy

Kara  👽 : Hal I have a question

Kara 👽: do you EVER sleep

Hal ✈️: it was only midnight!

Hal ✈️: Who goes to bed before midnight!

Hal ✈️: On the night before their birthday!


thanks tho

Hal ✈️: [gif attached]

Kara 👽: thanks for that

we should watch moana when

we’re together

Kara 👽: happy birthday barry! From winn and

alex too


Hal ✈️: i cant believe i have yet to meet them

Kara 👽: well YOU never come to national city

Kara 👽: who’s fault is it, huh?

Hal ✈️: well soRRY

Hal ✈️: next time i’ll just make a detour when

i’m flying

oh big mood

Hal ✈️: i hope you know we’ll get fucking

smashed when y’all are here

im already getting dragged out tonight

i can already see me being wasted

after like one beer

Kara 👽: hm you ARe skinny

Hal ✈️: who even drags you out

iris, snart & our friends

Kara 👽: i wanna hear all about these friends

Hal ✈️: so is iris still so fine

why are you like this

Kara 👽: haven’t you recently rekindled your

relationship to “the love of your life”

Hal ✈️: you can still look at other people

Kara 👽: hm yeah

do you check out ppl together

Hal ✈️: we’re both straight

Kara 👽: disgusting

are you tho

Hal ✈️: ill have you know YOU had a crush on ME

yeah im aware

Kara 👽: why do we hang out with a straight guy

i dont even know

speaking of my friends are here soon

so i’ll talk to you later

Kara 👽: have fun!

Hal ✈️: i want drunk selfies

Kara 👽: i think theyll only start drinking in

the evening

Hal ✈️: boring

Hal ✈️: looks like we’re all on our own now

Kara 👽: well look at that lena is calling

Hal ✈️: fucking rude

Chapter Text

spACEbar : god i was so disgusting yesterday

snowflake : you had your first hangover you’re allowed to

spACEbar : i was talking about important stuff with snart yesterday and had to trhow up in the middle of it

detectiveprettybi : a hangover is not a time for deep convos bar

spACEbar : yeah i know now

snowflake : aw bby

spACEbar : anyway! Im feeling better and only slightly anxious about my bus ride later so

spACEbar : shrug emoji

detectiveprettybi : RIGHT you’re leaving today

detectiveprettybi : do you want an escort

spACEbar : thanks but joe insisted to drive me

spACEbar : we don’t, and i quote, “spend enough time together any more”

snowflake : oh dear

spACEbar : maybe he’s right idk i don’t mind hanging out with him so

spACEbar : shrug emoji

transco : can we focus on the fact that

transco : only last week eddie was still being awkward about whether he can still hang out with iris and bar and now

transco : all back in

detectiveprettybi : y’all told me to take it easy

transco : yeah true

snowflake : is snart showing you off though

spACEbar : nope :( joe wants solo time

bilance : that sounds wrong

transco : how is your timing so great

bilance : it’s my superpower

transco : i thought that was fighting, looking good, being bi and able to control everyone

bilance : yeah but i also have some snazzy oneliners

heatwave : that’s true

bilance : see? Even mick agrees

lesbianda : bc mick has taste

bilance : aw! mwah

detectiveprettybi : focus back on bar pls

detectiveprettybi : what are we gonna do without them!

spACEbar : you do realize i have my phone on me

detectiveprettybi : yeah but you’re hanging out with ppl you usually only chat with soooo

spACEbar : c h i l l a x

oliverqueer : didn’t we say snart is the drama queen of this chat

lesbianda : eddie is competing on so many levels

spACEbar : pls stop

irisbest : holy shit

transco : did you just

pipes : damn

bilance : a rejection!

captaincold : finally

detectiveprettybi : i…

spACEbar : ??????

spACEbar : i’ve obVIOUSLY been rejecting eddie THE WHOLE TIME? I’m dating LEN?

oliverqueer : ehh

lesbianda : you, like, never actually said the words

spACEbar : im pretty sure i did

spACEbar : and like, as i said, im in a relationship?

spACEbar : a good one?

snowflake : aw

spACEbar : mick take snart’s phone i can sense him starting to wail up something about how he sucks

heatwave : damn u good

spACEbar : that’s because i LOVE and KNOW my BOYFRIEND

pipes : damn bar nobody said you didn’t

snowflake : yeah we all know you’re the otp to end all otps

transco : speaking of where’s ronnie

bilance : bar we aint accusing you of anything

lesbianda : yeah we know youd never cheat or lead someone on on purpose

irisbest : never on purpose, no

spACEbar : … oh dear

spACEbar : eddie you don’t have a real crush on me do you

detectiveprettybi : NAH

detectiveprettybi : i just like shitting on snart

heatwave : kinky

spACEbar : are you sure

detectiveprettybi : yes?

spACEbar : why the question mark

detectiveprettybi : yes i am indeed sure

spACEbar : good

spACEbar : len

transco : are you really waiting for an answer

lesbianda : …. Mick give snart back his phone

heatwave : coming right up

spACEbar : ah should’ve thought of that

lesbianda : yeah i suppose i know my bff better than you do

irisbest : rude

pipes : everyone’s so jealous here

babybibibi : were you ever jealous of me

pipes : no i didn’t even know i liked cisco remember

babybibibi : right

captaincold : yes

spACEbar : you do know that i love you

irisbest : i need popcorn

bilance : i have some already

captaincold : i love you too

spACEbar : great so you know id tell you if something were up

captaincold : of course

spACEbar : great

spACEbar : so to summarize: eddie does not have a crush on me and his flirting was joking, if i led him on anyways i did not intend to and am sorry, i love leonard snart and he loves me and we’re good

snowflake : beautiful

babybibibi : she’s actually sobbing

snowflake : i’m on my period i’m allowed to sob

irisbest : oh girl you want some ice cream

lesbianda : i can bring some chick flicks

bilance : i have twenty yoga mats

detectiveprettybi : haha

oliverqueer : no she does

pipes : she really does

babybibibi : bold of y’all to assume i aint prepared for my gf’s period

transco : it’s true xe’s really good with that

snowflake : amen

oliverqueer : i for one am glad we resolved that drama

captaincold : are you assuming that im suddenly gonna like pretty bi bc lemme tell you

heatwave : still a cop

captaincold : not the point but still valid

detectiveprettybi : i can’t give up my greatest hobby

spACEbar : well i was trying you guys

irisbest : and you did great

babybibibi : yeah you did

pipes : you should enjoy your trip

transco : they should’ve enjoyed it generally

pipes : you know what i mean

lesbianda : also we all know they’re probably gonna livetext the trip anyways

spACEbar : hey i have never spammed y’all through an anxiety attack!

snowflake : that’s true

snowflake : if it helps though, feel free to hit any of us up

spACEbar : <3

spACEbar : ok now i gotta pack

spACEbar : see ya

pipes : they haven’t packed yet?

irisbest : no, bar is a late kinda guy

babybibibi : huh seems kinda ironic

Chapter Text

babybibibi : i feel like this is said weirdly often lately but

babybibibi : no break-down in the chat?

pipes : cisco and bar have rabbitted something together during the whole drive

bilance : gotta love rabbit

lesbianda : a lifesavior

oliverqueer : what do you think how sulky is Snart gonna be

irisbest : very

heatwave : very

bilance : so sulky dude

snowflake : i sure hope so

irisbest : pray tell caitlin how do you like your otps

irisbest : slow burn?

babybibibi : you have no idea

babybibibi : cait’s your local sucker for fake dating roommates ‘god there’s just one bed’ au spiced with mutual pining

pipes : the best

transco : the worst

lesbianda : u guys literally were mutual pining without realizing

bilance : you also shared a bed ~platonically~

irisbest : they’re enemies to lovers personified

detectiveprettybi : i’ve always wanted to fake date someone

detectiveprettybi : action first and feelings later seems like such a Mood

captaincold : if only there were someone in the world to be up for that

detectiveprettybi : you take a whole while for the “but unfortunately, you’re you” lead up

captaincold : wasnt coming

captaincold : i truly mean it when i say it’s a pity there’s noone who’d develop feelings for you as you hook up

detectiveprettybi : ….

detectiveprettybi : bc then i’d stop flirting with bar right

irisbest : yes absolutely that’s what he means

lesbianda : wait

irisbest : yeah i know snart’s still so jealous it’s insane

transco : i thought that one’s a slur

detectiveprettybi : well tough luck bc i can be an asshole too

lesbianda : wow

bilance : are you sure you’re physically able to be an asshole

detectiveprettybi : im a cop i gotta be

transco : doubt.png

pipes : SERIOUSLY is this like your thing

pipes : should i have known this before we started dating

babybibibi : he’s only done it like 5 times but ok

pipes : yeah but he’s the only one who does it

lesbianda : the audacity

transco : doubt.mp4

pipes : why

transco : because deep down i still hate you

pipes : i knew it

irisbest : hartley are you a masochist

detectiveprettybi : is that a secret

heatwave : kinky

spACEbar : [image attached]

spACEbar : hi

transco : BAR

irisbest : hi bar!!!

lesbianda : eye emoji

captaincold : hi babe

pipes : you look happy

detectiveprettybi : you enjoying yourself huh

oliverqueer : who are these people

snowflake : <3 hello

spACEbar : that’s kara, winn and alex

spACEbar : aka a few of national city’s Queer Folk™

lesbianda : pls introduce my gf to these ppl

lesbianda : also applaud the lesbian for the most butch haircut

bilance : srsly she’s hot

spACEbar : alex blushed

spACEbar : congrats to that she’s usually like a stone

bilance : :-D

lesbianda : patty the whole time “ugh there’s just one other lesbian in this town im going crazy”

lesbianda : bar: attracts a whole flock without even living there

spACEbar : that’s my personal skill

transco : thought that was being a sweetheart

spACEbar : aw

spACEbar : no but we’re going to this bar tomorrow and patty joins actually

pipes : a gay bar?

spACEbar : not officially

spACEbar : “but once we show up everyone else disappears anyway” ok winn

oliverqueer : they sound as chaotic as our group

irisbest : yeah

spACEbar : can you believe they did not meet under the premise of being gay

babybibibi : eye emoji

spACEbar : kara and winn went to school together, alex is kara’s sister

spACEbar : kara’s cousin introduced her bf to her and her gf could have also come from that connection but didn’t

spACEbar : and winn’s bf was an exchange student

bilance : quick cisco photoshop the “same hat!!!” meme into “same story!!!”

babybibibi : kara is dating two people!!!!!

snowflake : my fiance, once again,

transco : [image attached]

bilance : fhfkfjfk you actually did that

pipes : ofc he did

babybibibi : it’s like you don’t even know him

lesbianda : patty is very excited about meeting you again

spACEbar : yeah she said so!!!

spACEbar : and me too!!

spACEbar : kara is also excited

irisbest : what’s the plan for today

detectiveprettybi : are you asking bar or everyone

oliverqueer : guess

irisbest : rolls eyes

irisbest : bar,

spACEbar : sushi and love simon later

transco : gasPS i thought we’d watch that together


spACEbar : but lbr i’ll probs watch it twenty times

pipes : mood

irisbest : it really doesnt freak out anybody that this one guy looks like wally

transco : doppelgänger

lesbianda : there’s an alternate reality where wally is an actor

oliverqueer : there’s an alternate reality where we all are fictional characters

babybibibi : damn oliver

heatwave : fuckin weird

pipes : no existential crises now

bilance : maybe wally IS secretly an actor

spACEbar : could’ve asked his actor friend for a few tips

irisbest : gar?

irisbest : nah that kid acts purely on instinct, there’s no tips to give when you have no method

captaincold : wally has an actor friend

lesbianda : oh you don’t know half of it

babybibibi : why do i feel like a lot of shit that linda knows has never actually been said to her

lesbianda : im here snooping

pipes : ofc u are

transco : shhhh im curious

transco : what is the whole that we only know half of

spACEbar : i’ll leave that to iris

irisbest : ofc u do

spACEbar : i have actual rl conversations to be a part of!!!!!

detectiveprettybi : case in point

heatwave : -_-

pipes : is that. A smiley

bilance : no that’s mick’s face now spill the beans

irisbest : sighs

irisbest : wally met gar when he visited our mom in the hospital

irisbest : bc gar was visiting his now-gf

irisbest : who is a princess

babybibibi : wait

pipes : define princess

bilance : are we talking literal now or

irisbest : we are

lesbianda : the wests have the best connections

captaincold : hold on

captaincold : you are telling me that wally is friends with a princess

captaincold : and he chooses to date two nobodies?

transco : snart is done

detectiveprettybi : well mick and sara went out and fucked billionaires and yet i see neither of them dating one

pipes : that’s really insensitive eddie mick is aromantic

detectiveprettybi : he’s also ace and that aint stopping him

transco : excuse you not every asexual person is sex-repulsed

transco : i hope you get that we’re exaggerating

pipes : but also we’re being real

transco : yeah we are

detectiveprettybi : i hate that you’re dating

bilance : gasp

lesbianda : how dare you

babybibibi : even i am shooketh

heatwave : so that princess aint single huh

snowflake : MICK xDDDD

captaincold : wait. Why was that princess in a hospital in central city

irisbest : keystone actually

detectiveprettybi : why was that princess in a hospital in keystone

irisbest : heart transplant

transco : oh shit

captaincold : but why keystone

heatwave : what’s she even princess of

lesbianda : im guessing something in europe

lesbianda : europe used to be like a thousand kingdoms

bilance : yeah she’s probably only got the title and some money but nothing to rule over

captaincold : but money

oliverqueer : good to know you haven’t changed completely snart

bilance : he still secretly freaks you out huh

heatwave : aint no secret

Chapter Text

spACEbar : can you believe i only cried 5 times

spACEbar : GOD what a good movie

spACEbar : we all need to go watch it together

pipes : okay i know national city is in a different time zone

pipes : but?? Bar allen? Online and awake at 2 in the morning?

spACEbar : other question what are you doing awake at 4 in the morning

pipes : you know i have as much of a fucked up sleep schedule as anyone

pipes : unlike you

spACEbar : movie ended at 11 then we went to have chinese and also conversations!

spACEbar : lots of catching up!

transco : somehow i find it unlikely that you don’t permanently text those friends too

pipes : hi babe

transco : hi <3

spACEbar : hal kara and i have a groupchat but  i don’t talk enough with the others

pipes : wait you’re not with this hal guy right

transco : no he’s in coast city, bar and kara go there next week

pipes : ah.

spACEbar : anyway im swamped! I’ll go to bed but yeah let it be known we’re gonna have a group hang

transco : insert crazy ex girlfriend lyrics here

pipes : wow you’re not even typing the words

pipes : cisquito go to bed too

transco : [salutes]

babybibibi : bar/hartmon = squad goals

lesbianda : we been knew

lesbianda : also can we get hartmon a sleeping schedule

oliverqueer : at least they’re in sync

detectiveprettybi : Bold of you to assume that hart didn’t stay up for three more hours

babybibibi : or sco for that matter

bilance : i did meet hartley at 7 this morning

bilance : though whether that means he’ll be sleeping in…

babybibibi : why were you awake at 7

bilance : packing

lesbianda : eager are you

bilance : !!!!!!! im flying in 24 hours!!!!!!

captaincold : you’ve seen your girlfriend on christmas


lesbianda : preach it girl

babybibibi : im excited for you

bilance : thanks

irisbest : it’s like your compensating the time that bar started packing too late

irisbest : i admire you

detectiveprettybi : you know what i just realized

detectiveprettybi : sara you’re gonna miss my birthday

bilance : oh no!

bilance : damn i did not realize that

babybibibi : do you have any special plans @ eddie

detectiveprettybi : nah just a little get together at the quiver

detectiveprettybi : already got the request passed

irisbest : you what now

detectiveprettybi : yeah you have to like file something like this in the quiver groupchat

lesbianda : omg seriously

irisbest : i can’t believe we didn’t know this

pipes : we all had to sign a contract when we moved in

babybibibi : w h a t

oliverqueer : laurel’s doing

captaincold : hey pipes you live

pipes : yup, turns out two hours of sleep is the perfect amount

snowflake : no it’s not!

babybibibi : i swear she picked up her phone randomly in the very moment that your message arrived

lesbianda : cait has the best superpower

pipes : cisco still asleep?

pipes : ill kick him out of bed with some breakfast big belly’s

captaincold : you want a ride?

pipes : with the bike?

captaincold : obviously

pipes : HELL YES

babybibibi : he’s been dreaming of it

captaincold : why’d he never ask

snowflake : fear

captaincold : good

detectiveprettybi : anyway, here’s an official invitation to celebrate my birthday at the quiver. We’ll have alcohol, food, gossip and probably a movie

babybibibi : im gonna live up to my username now and ask if we also have a 90s playlist

detectiveprettybi : hart and lisa are gonna take care of that

irisbest : sweet

snowflake : im excited! I feel like we haven’t been at the quiver since forever

irisbest : oh hartley wally asks if you forgot you wanted to meet up with him (what?)

bilance : he’s already left the house

bilance : think snart has been speeding

oliverqueer : dangerous life

irisbest : my dad will kill him

babybibibi : on the bright side your text will be read soon

lesbianda : hart and wally are hanging out so much lately

heatwave : same mentality

snowflake : i don’t even know if this was supposed to be an insult

snowflake : they ARE close in age

lesbianda : are they still trying to create that fuel

irisbest : think so

pipes : YEAH WE ARE


pipes : lol nevermind we’re all coming over later

irisbest : who now

captaincold : im bringing pipes and cisco around

bilance : oh dear

irisbest : imma warn dad

transco : rude :/

spACEbar : you cant all hang out at my home when im not there!!!

pipes : no we can look at us

spACEbar : :(

lesbianda : hey youre hanging out with my gf tonight

spACEbar : youre right!!!

transco : im just getting dressed and then we’re on the road!

irisbest : dad: [sighs]

lesbianda : that’s a sign of love

captaincold : Square up west you still have a game to lose

irisbest : you mean YOU have to lose

babybibibi : wait what game

heatwave : scrabble

oliverqueer : you know that’s the best possible game I could picture for these two

bilance : i don’t say this lightly but: agreed

oliverqueer : fuck u

bilance : :*

transco : okay we’re leaving

detectiveprettybi : joe do they even fit

irisbest : joe

oliverqueer : joe

bilance : joe

babybibibi : joe

spACEbar : joe

snowflake : joe

detectiveprettybi : goddammit

heatwave : sidecar

detectiveprettybi : Mick You’re the only person I Trust

oliverqueer : sketchy

irisbest : now if you’ll excuse me I will destroy Leonard Snart in the following hour

lesbianda : youre gonna take ages like the pretentious bitches u are

snowflake : when did Linda start calling people bitches

bilance : micks doing I bet

lesbianda : honestly might be

heatwave : ya

spACEbar : I can’t believe this happens when I’m not there

transco : [image attached]

transco : look at joes pissed expression

babybibibi : a mood

transco : and here’s some babies:

transco : [image attached]

detectiveprettybi : they look like they’re conspiring

bilance : wally and hartley? very likely actually

transco : yeah tru

spACEbar : I’m currently making the group watch queer eye

spACEbar : only the inner circle tho

snowflake : who’s the inner circle

spACEbar : Kara, Alex, Winn and James

oliverqueer : i binged it the other day with tommy

detectiveprettybi : did you now

spACEbar : Winn is really into jvn it’s funny

oliverqueer : Tommy said Antoni kinda looks like hartley

spACEbar : I…

spACEbar : I need to think about this

transco : ah I heard the first “THATS NOT EVEN A WORD”


bilance : classic

transco : Wally just excused himself to make a call and hart just

transco : [image attached]

snowflake : “2 hours of sleep are enough” - hartley Rathaway, coincidentally 2 hours before falling asleep

heatwave : classic

lesbianda : cute

spACEbar : Alex gave me a stern look so pls excuse me

spACEbar : and tell me if Iris and Snart kill each other

transco : will do have fun

Chapter Text


transco : ohhhhh full name

irisbest : you’re screwed





transco : What the hap is fuckening

spACEbar : hey so how did that scrabble go,,,,

transco : pfff







lesbianda : GASPS

lesbianda : HOW THE FUCK

irisbest : WAIT

irisbest : KARA IS WHAT NOW

captaincold : babe what the fuck

spACEbar : DO /YOU/ KNOW

captaincold : ofc I do

heatwave : isn’t she like Linda’s biggest idol

lesbianda : DAMN RIGHT







lesbianda : you’re forgiven bc I know you truly regret it

lesbianda : still, WHAT THE HELL

spACEbar : I’m really sorry!!!! I’ll try to get something out of this for you

spACEbar : also patty and Alex bonded tbh

spACEbar : and Alex miiiiight be into patty’s co-worker

lesbianda : ohhhhhhh

irisbest : is that the only other lesbian that patty knows

lesbianda : you got it

transco : Gay, I like it

spACEbar : anyway who won scrabble

captaincold : undecided as of now

transco : Wally took a picture of the board so they could continue another time

transco : joe had enough after three hours

spACEbar : sounds legit

transco : also hart is still sleeping on the couch

transco : were just leaving him there

spACEbar : lol

lesbianda : lol

irisbest : lol

transco : lol

bilance : okay You fuckers idk about you but some people have to be at the airport at 7am so if you’d PLEASE shut the hell up

captaincold : put your phone on silent

bilance : it’s on vibrate

captaincold : kinky

bilance : anyway YALL SHUT UP AND GO TO BED

transco : I’m not even tired

bilance : go watch a whole sci-fi series I don’t care now let me sleep

detectiveprettybi : lol i cant believe even Snart listened to you

transco : Sara is VERY intimidating ok

oliverqueer : cisco are you STILL awake

transco : Nope i did leave when Sara shouted

detectiveprettybi : why are you awake already then

transco : morning shift

bilance : cisco you don’t have a job

transco : no I’m working at Julio’s for three weeks

transco : and since I didn’t wanna miss group activities I said to give me breakfast shifts

oliverqueer : i didn’t know you were secretly a waiter

transco : nah I’m not you just have to be able to pronounce the dishes properly so they already wanted to hire me when they read my name alone

detectiveprettybi : iconic

oliverqueer : now we know where to get breakfast instead of big belly’s

transco : please no I want my peace

detectiveprettybi : rude

bilance : he’s bitchy bc he’s gotta drive me to the airport

bilance : wanted to make dig do it but he just glared at him

oliverqueen : im just saying, i still pay him

detectiveprettybi : YOUR MOM still pays him

transco : i love that it looks like a yo mama joke but is actually the truth

pipes : like we said, oliver’s paying ppl to be his friends

transco : again, he’s letting you stay at his house for free, don’t fuck with him,

bilance : insert comment about how that’s also ollie buying ppl’s love

bilance : kidding ollie we love you for your great personality

transco : are you saying this so he doesn’t kick you out the car

pipes : no so that she can get inside the car

transco : makes sense

detectiveprettybi : cisco say bye bc sara is leaving now

transco : bye sara!!!!!! I hope you have a grEAT TIME

bilance : thank you cisco!!!!!

bilance : i hope your first day is alright!

transco : ah i’ve jobbed here before

detectiveprettybi : look at you go

detectiveprettybi : anyway, desk duty here i come

pipes : they will never let him out on the street

transco : nope not if he continues to be Like That

transco : how was sleeping on the west’s couch

pipes : i woke up disoriented at 4am, so thanks for that

pipes : i’ve cleaned the whole quiver already

transco : you know where my key is, please continue

pipes : my love for you is not big enough

heatwave : is your dick tho

transco : um

snowflake : WHAT

transco : hah i know hartley’s sleep schedule is OUTRAGEOUS

captaincold : not what she meant

captaincold : l word

transco : i KNOW it’s NOT what she MEANT

transco : let me distract in any means that i want okay

captaincold : sure you do you

bilance : OH WAIT I CAN HELP

bilance : here is my last text on american grounds:


snowflake : SNART GOT WHAT

spACEbar : whAT

transco : do you have a snart alert on your phone wtf

pipes : seriously it’s like half past four over there

heatwave : u literally said you woke up at 4

pipes : yeah but im me

spACEbar : back to the topic

spACEbar : LEN?

captaincold : fuck you lance

captaincold : it was NOT a job offer

snowflake : what happened

captaincold : for fuck’s sake

captaincold : sara and i went to the museum on saturday, some random brit caught me ranting and chatted me up

captaincold : and then he reveals he’s the curator and shit

pipes : that’s so random

captaincold : yeah i thought he’d reveal something else with that coat of his you feel

transco : kinky

spACEbar : and then? He offered you a JOB?

captaincold : no

captaincold : he just said they could use guides with enthusiasm

pipes : enthusiasm is a thing i’d never have connected to snart not gonna lie

snowflake : no he’s enthusiastic about bar

snowflake : and sci-fi

transco : best traits

spACEbar : and now????

captaincold : why are you even awake babe seriously

spACEbar : if only i knew

captaincold : he gave me his card

snowflake : u need to call him!!!!!!!

captaincold : i dont need to do anything

spACEbar : you should consider it

captaincold : bar, i have been arrested for theft i doubt someone would hire me to stand amongst prized possessions

captaincold : and it’s not even been “a past life” it was literally half a year ago

spACEbar : im calling you now

lesbianda : SNART WHAT

pipes : shh he’s on the phone

babybibibi : ok i know you spent the night at the wests’ but like…. Did you get alcohol somewhere

pipes : nope i’m just incredibly entertained

heatwave : go have a quickie with the small one before he has to leave

pipes : i think i will

lesbianda : you know every time i think this group can’t get wilder

irisbest : why the fuck have you all been awake so early

oliverqueer : i think i’m definitely the wrong person to say this but some people have work

irisbest : jokes on you im starting at jitters next month

oliverqueer : wow!

irisbest : soon you’re the only unemployed person in this group

babybibibi : billionaire playboy IS his job

oliverqueer : it is a certified job, just ask bruce

irisbest : bruce promotes shit on his instagram

babybibibi : i believe he does it for free

irisbest : he better do

Chapter Text

spACEbar : “this is John but we spent a whole year being convinced he’s called hank so don’t be confused when someone calls him that”

spACEbar : this is a whole different earth here

spACEbar : “just call him papa bear, you know shit about surrogate father figures” WINN HDKFKFKFL

babybibibi : I feel like he’d get along well with Cisco

babybibibi : they both seem to like putting their foot in their mouth

spACEbar : honestly it’s okay but still dhrjfnfkkg

lesbianda : do you have more gossip for us

spACEbar : their dating histories are pretty wild

detectiveprettybi : are they wilder than Oliver’s

oliverqueer : hey!

irisbest : Don’t lie to yourself Ollie

spACEbar : well

spACEbar : Winn used to have a crush on Kara but then figured he only talked himself into it bc she was always so nice and stuff (and he thought he was straight HAH)

spACEbar : and then he noticed something was up and hooked up with the new guy at work

spACEbar : but now said Guy is Kara’s bf and Winn is dating someone entirely new

snowflake : oh this is like in a Shadowhunters fanfiction where Simon realizes he doesn’t actually like clary that way and hooks up with jace but then jace falls for clary and Simon and Raphael start to date

transco : clizzy > clace tho

babybibibi : obviously

irisbest : Bar doesn’t like Shadowhunters

spACEbar : somehow it reminds me of high school

irisbest : Bar didn’t like high school

oliverqueer : i liked high school

bilance : yeah bc your ass was dating me in high school

bilance : also hi guys thanks for asking I landed in safety and Nyssa and I impersonated rabbits the whole night

spACEbar : That…. wasn’t necessary

spACEbar : but I’m happy for you?

oliverqueer : high school was way better than middle school

captaincold : just bc you were at a pretentious boarding school for rich ppl and those suck

oliverqueer : how do you know that

captaincold : ;)

oliverqueer : anyway I deeply regret MY behavior during middle school

bilance : i do not know anything about your middle school experience eye emoji

oliverqueer : Let’s say it’s where my feud with lex began

irisbest : omg did you BULLY lex luthor when you were 12

snowflake : are you James Potter and Severus Snape just without the love triangle

lesbianda : lemme step in right here guys

lesbianda : we had a great run for half a year let’s not ruin this with that discussion

lesbianda : i do NOT want to find out I talked to a Snape apologist all along

lesbianda : so now Sara tell me about your girlfriend

bilance : im so in love with her

bilance : she’s so soft

bilance : but also not

bilance : i want to put her in my suitcase and bring her home

heatwave : whipped

bilance : WHAT ABOUT IT

irisbest : otp 4 lyfe

lesbianda : ^

snowflake : y e s

transco : hey Cait: olicity, Nyssara or Captain space

babybibibi : jokes on you it’s US you asshole

snowflake : yeah my own relationship is my otp #1

babybibibi : you wanted to be number one? Shouldn’t have gotten out of it

transco : Jesus

babybibibi : im hiking

babybibibi : *joking

pipes : you know hiking could’ve also explained your weird behavior

snowflake : yeah lol

detectiveprettybi : guys I’ve done it

irisbest : oh god what have you done

detectiveprettybi : why does this sound like an accusation

snowflake : what have you done!!!!! :D

detectiveprettybi : thanks cait

detectiveprettybi : i basically came out to Singh [shrug emoji]

oliverqueer : you did what now

detectiveprettybi : i asked if I could put up some posters about safe spaces bc it’s a personal concern

detectiveprettybi : and he gave me the Nod™️

transco : ohhhhh the Nod™️

snowflake : what nod???

bilance : The Nod™️!

babybibibi : The ‘I recognize you as a fellow member of the rainbow’ Nod™️ babe you wouldn’t know it

bilance : i can’t believe you literally became the rosa diaz to singh’s holt

captaincold : excuse you he’s got nothing on rosa

transco : honestly ofc snart’d be into rosa

lesbianda : everyone is into rosa

pipes : as a gay guy into rosa i can confirm

transco : same

spACEbar : even I am into Rosa

oliverqueer : no surprise bar

irisbest : yeah

babybibibi : rosa is a female Snart

captaincold : glad you recognize that

detectiveprettybi : i should put a bi flag on my desk

bilance : ohhhhh sweet

babybibibi : Noice

transco : toit

heatwave : enough fandom talk for the day

heatwave : enough texting

Chapter Text

bilance : [image attached]

bilance : look at the boys go

lesbianda : that is a staged pic if i’ve ever seen one

transco : why are they shaking hands

irisbest : and why did sara receive this pic before us when she’s not even on the same CONTINENT

bilance : bc my sister took this

bilance : OLIVER

pipes : he can’t hear your yelling

transco : ronnie really needs to tell wells to tell HR to include an @ feature

spACEbar : ronnie isn’t an owl!

transco : nice one

spACEbar : :)

oliverqueer : WHAT

bilance : i told you sCROLL UP

lesbianda : did you really call him just so he’d check the chat

bilance : since none of you came up with the brilliant idea

irisbest : could’ve told us and saved your phone bill

bilance : ehhh tommy’s paying it anyway

pipes : serIOUSLY?

pipes : why do i have to pay mine!!!!

babybibibi : oh no

transco : yep he’s doing it

pipes : im a poor homeless deaf gay guy!!!! Someone should pay for mine!!

spACEbar : he did it

lesbianda : ofc he did

irisbest : anyway oliver spill the beans

bilance : what’s that picture

oliverqueer : it’s tommy and me why

lesbianda : but why do you shake your hands like that

irisbest : why does it look like you’ve just done a blood oath

detectiveprettybi : GASP did you beCOME BLOOD BROTHERS

spACEbar : oh no

transco : wait for it

detectiveprettybi : first sharing semen and now blood

pipes : and he did it

babybibibi : we really have catchphrases huh

oliverqueer : it’s

oliverqueer : okay fine big announcement

oliverqueer : we bought the building

detectiveprettybi : YOU DID WHAT

irisbest : the scary one????

transco : the one at the end of the world you looked at

oliverqueer : yes

pipes : so is it becoming a gay bar now!!!

oliverqueer : yeah about that

oliverqueer : no it isn’t

babybibibi : wow rude

spACEbar : damn

oliverqueer : listen if two billionaires opened a gay bar then saints & sinners would soon have no guests left

oliverqueer : and i actually like that place and don’t want it to close down bc of me

irisbest : huh

oliverqueer : BUT

transco : oh i love the but

heatwave : probably also the butt

babybibibi : u know it

snowflake : shhh

detectiveprettybi : im saving that eye emoji for later

bilance : please continue oliver im at the edge of my seat

lesbianda : i doubt that

oliverqueer : our opening night will be a gala for the LGBT foundation bc mom was bugging me about that anyways

oliverqueer : it’s on the 7th

transco : ALREADY

detectiveprettybi : THAT’S THE DAY AFTER MY BIRTHDAY



oliverqueer : it’s two weeks chill

oliverqueer : we hired ppl right away



oliverqueer : this morning

oliverqueer : tommy insisted laurel take a pic ‘so we could hang it up later’

bilance : jesus do you even have a name yet

oliverqueer : yes. Verdant

captaincold : you… are calling your nightclub ‘green’

bilance : it’s both his and tommy’s fav colour

detectiveprettybi : you have the same favourite colour????????

detectiveprettybi : i swear if tommy weren’t straight you’d be married

irisbest : im actually so surprised they didn’t get married while drunk already

bilance : close call one time

babybibibi : ofc

lesbianda : oliver i hope you know that ill be reporting on that night

oliverqueer : i hope you do

oliverqueer : actually we were wondering if you wanted to become the press person for the foundation

lesbianda : WAIT WHAT

irisbest : oh god she’s probably crying


lesbianda : I’M JUST

lesbianda : WHAT

oliverqueer : why would i choose a random person when i have a capable lesbian reporter among my friends


lesbianda : HOLY CRAP

spACEbar : that’s so nice oh my god

babybibibi : cait started crying

irisbest : SHE DESERVES IT

detectiveprettybi : SHE DOES

heatwave : she really does

lesbianda : MICK :’):’):’)

lesbianda : okay we need to take care of your website like the link on the QC site is fine but

lesbianda : we need spice! And glitter! And pink!

oliverqueer : woah okay let’s just chill for the moment

oliverqueer : come over to the quiver tomorrow or something and we can talk about it

bilance : you sure you won’t have to talk to your mom about it

oliverqueer : we’ll call her or otherwise she shall send the heli idc

irisbest : you’re so fucking pretentious

pipes : wait so who’s invited to that gala

lesbianda : OH BAR



spACEbar : isn’t she working

lesbianda : RIGHT

lesbianda : NOW

lesbianda : also oliver dear is this gonna be volunteer work or paid

oliverqueer : we’ll talk about that

lesbianda : nice

oliverqueer : anyway all of you are invited of course, then some huge supporters, other press ppl, business partners of my mom’s….

bilance : WAIT


bilance : I’M NOT BACK BY THEN

detectiveprettybi : NOOOO

babybibibi : nooo the bi (al)l(i)ance!!!

bilance : ok seriously your game is getting better im so proud

bilance : anyway


oliverqueer : i most certainly did not

oliverqueer : you were the first out person in my life why would i purposefully outvite you

bilance : wow that was kinda sweet im :’)

spACEbar : oliver is so good today

irisbest : oliver, are you, perhaps, happy

oliverqueer : listen i HAVE A CLUB

oliverqueer : is it in the worst neighbourhood? Yes

oliverqueer : still, was this my life dream? Also yes

oliverqueer : so! Yes i might be happy

snowflake : aw :’D :’D :’D

captaincold : this is… acceptable

transco : aw snart you big old softie

pipes : we’re being really soft today

captaincold : yeah, enough of this

spACEbar : you know us, never

babybibibi : we do only seem to have two settings: soft and savage

bilance : i hate the word ‘savage’

bilance : and i can’t believe oliver would do this to me

oliverqueer : im sorry i didn’t think

captaincold : do you ever

pipes : aaaaaaaaaand we’re back to normal

snowflake : yay!

Chapter Text

babybibibi : here’s a weird thing:

babybibibi : [image attached]

spACEbar : ok i thought i had something weirder but i don’t

pipes : what the


transco : i feel like it reads like his wife did it

pipes : babe this is really not my concern


spACEbar : yeah we read

irisbest : ‘easter get-together’

irisbest : what kinda white ppl stuff

lesbianda : well do you want to go

bilance : im really into this but i also need to sleep we’re going hiking tomorrow

bilance : phone: on silent

spACEbar : bye sara!

babybibibi : i mean? Isn’t that weird

babybibibi : i can’t just go to a professor’s house can i

lesbianda : 1) you are invited

lesbianda : 2) you are his TA so you’re basically being paid to be his best friend

pipes : like dig and oliver

transco : you could ask if you can move in

pipes : cisquito,

transco : i was joking

babybibibi : good

babybibibi : anyway i’m? Idk

spACEbar : that is commonly called nervosity or even anxiety

irisbest : fhfjgfhgk bar

spACEbar : it is true

pipes : ronnie, you can hit the jackpot there

pipes : just think about it

babybibibi : i will not find out for you if harry really is straight

lesbianda : i can’t believe this

babybibibi : you have a boyfrIEND

transco : the boyfriend is interested too tho

heatwave : aint like he’s gonna have a threesome with you

transco : shhh let us dream

detectiveprettybi : hartmon are only together so they can thirst over ppl together

pipes : pretty sure there’s other reasons too

irisbest : i think you should go ronnie

irisbest : it seems sweet!

transco : you should definitely go

lesbianda : ya be nosy

spACEbar : this could be connection making!

detectiveprettybi : wait are you celebrating easter yourself? Aren’t mormons like SUPER christians

babybibibi : for the billionth time, my parents aren’t mormons

detectiveprettybi : are you sure

babybibibi : prettY SURE?

lesbianda : hey bar what’s happening over in national

spACEbar : not much rn tbh

spACEbar : kara and james are on the phone with kara’s cousin, it’s a huge deal apaprently

spACEbar : he’s very busy? And also james’ best friend

irisbest : you know, i was thinking

irisbest : and i’m only connecting random dots here

pipes : translates to: i was gossiping with snart

transco : yeah when the hell did you two become bffs

irisbest : linda has mick as her sidepiece, let me have snart

spACEbar : weird but continue

irisbest : so kara works at catco

irisbest : and her bf is called james

irisbest : does he also work at catco?

spACEbar : huh yeah actually

spACEbar : he’s a photographer

lesbianda : WAIT

spACEbar : oh no

lesbianda : BAR

transco : what did you do now


spACEbar : … i fucked up


spACEbar : i feel like i really fucked up

irisbest : omg that’s eXACTLY WHAT WE FIGURED

lesbianda : wait let me check something before i rip you a new one

spACEbar : im moving to canada

spACEbar : i heard vancouver is nice

lesbianda : OKAY


spACEbar : ummmm winn is one of those

lesbianda : CLARK KENT

irisbest : CLARK KENT?

lesbianda : CLARK KENT

irisbest : C L A R K   K E N T

pipes : who the fuck is clark kent




spACEbar : i…. Might be

transco : that name rings a bell

irisbest : ‘that name rings a bell’ he says

irisbest : listen lois lane is a feminist goddess

lesbianda : lois lane is the greatest woman in the universe

lesbianda : she’s strong and independent, has her own head and doesn’t take shit from noone

pipes : sounds like you

lesbianda : AW

irisbest : she’s also linda’s BIGGEST idol

detectiveprettybi : i thought that was cat grant,,,

lesbianda : no if cat is a 10 then lois is a 15

transco : im guessing she’s a reporter

lesbianda : yOURE GUESSING

irisbest : yes she is, went from high school paper directly to daily planet, it’s a story for history books

spACEbar : that does sound impressive


lesbianda : HAS SHE EVER MET HER

spACEbar : i? Guess i’ll ask?

spACEbar : so this is the friend group!

spACEbar : HI

spACEbar : so who’s flipping out at barry

lesbianda : ME HELLO

lesbianda : NOW KARA,,,,

spACEbar : you’re patty’s girlfriend!!!!! She loves you SO MUCH!

irisbest : you truly still are a sunshine huh

spACEbar : IRIS

spACEbar : HOW ARE YOU!!!

lesbianda : KARA WAIT


spACEbar : hhhhhhhhhhh

spACEbar : yeah i know ppl do love his columns

spACEbar : it’s kinda annoying but they’re very wholesome!

pipes : gal she’s a lesbian she ain’t interested in your cousin

transco : nope she’s thirsty for his gf

spACEbar : LOIS

spACEbar : lois is GREAT

babybibibi : how did we go to this

babybibibi : when it started with my crisis

spACEbar : you have a crisis? I heard women are better at dealing with crises so if you aren’t one you should ask one for help

pipes : i love when people know the correct plural of specific words

transco : babe literally everyone knows the plural of crisis is crises

spACEbar : people who don’t know english don’t

pipes : je t’aime

transco : oh so now you go around and just say that to everyone

pipes : si no quieres que yo vaya a gente al azar…....

transco : cariño tú sabes que lo no es así

spACEbar : woah i don’t understand a single word

spACEbar : is it always like this

babybibibi : usually not in spanish

irisbest : imma google translate

lesbianda : go be nosy for me i still need to finish this

lesbianda : SO KARA.


lesbianda : AND CAT GRANT

spACEbar : obviously?

lesbianda : are they as pretty as i think

spACEbar : SO pretty

spACEbar : you have no idea


spACEbar : do you want to have Lois’ number

lesbianda : JFFLFKFKFHEK

lesbianda : I????


lesbianda : THATS WEIRD

spACEbar : come to think of it yeah probably

lesbianda : but if you could, like, mention me to her,,,,

lesbianda : Linda Park of parkthoughts.blogger and also press person of the LGBT foundation of Queen Consolidated

irisbest : damn you got that down girl

transco : slay


captaincold has left the chat


spACEbar : oh dear!

pipes : what

spACEbar : was that my fault?

irisbest : Kara be a lad and give Bar the phone back

babybibibi : Snart???

spACEbar : wait who

spACEbar : oh shit

irisbest : Yeah.

spACEbar : on it

Chapter Text

transco : why the fuck

pipes : what’s happEning

lesbianda : i guess Bar is talking to him

lesbianda : still Snart you bitch you can’t just ruin my moment here

lesbianda : dramatic ass

oliverqueer : wait whatwhy did Snart leave

babybibibi : that’s what we’re trying to find out u doofus

detectiveprettybi : i bet he’s sulky

bilance : I take it that someone leaving the chat is not a common occurrence.

irisbest : eye emoji

lesbianda : hello…… Nyssa?

bilance : Yes, that’s me.

bilance : Sara was mistaken when she thought she put her phone on silence; the volume was merely turned down by large amount. But you hear it when it’s the middle of the night and everything is quiet.

bilance : Except Sara, of course. She is still quite worn out.

detectiveprettybi : u Tiger

transco : NYSSA

transco : big fan of urs hello

bilance : Why would a transportation company be a fan of me?


babybibibi : JDYENFNFK

bilance : Why is a transportation company in your chat?

transco : GDHFJFJF

transco : nooo my name is Cisco but I’m not cis!! I’m trans!!!

transco : tis a joke

bilance : I see.

irisbest : sorry that we woke u up Nyssa

bilance : It’s fine. It’s daytime in Central City, right?

pipes : yup

spACEbar : Snart left because and I quote “they’re fucking annoying”

spACEbar : sounded really freaking annoyed

lesbianda : hes definitely sulky

spACEbar : nah I don’t think it’s just that

spACEbar : he wasn’t whiny enough


detectiveprettybi : listen Snart has had months to figure out we’re annoying why would he only leave now

bilance : Perhaps it is a different matter.

spACEbar : woah shit Sara what happened to you

irisbest : nah that’s Nyssa

spACEbar : ah

spACEbar : hi

spACEbar : anyway mick pls keep an eye on my bf

heatwave : hell if I cared every time he has his panties in a twist

spACEbar : That does not reassure me

lesbianda : dw Bar

spACEbar : <3

bilance : You truly are like a family in this group, aren’t you?

snowflake : awww! Look even Nyssa can tell!

oliverqueer : Nyssa is quite observant

bilance : Hello, Oliver.

oliverqueer : you know, I can sense the sigh

bilance : Good.

irisbest : eye emoji

babybibibi : eye emoji

pipes : eye emoji

lesbianda : eye emoji

transco : eye emoji

oliverqueer : i know what y’all are thinking

oliverqueer : no i did not sleep with Nyssa

spACEbar : thank goodness

bilance : I am exclusively attracted to women.

lesbianda : lesbian high five!!!!

irisbest : so what’s your history

bilance : My father, however, would like me to marry someone like Oliver.

heatwave : yikes

oliverqueer : thanks so much

transco : so your dad is a gold digger got it

oliverqueer : dude they got money

bilance : We do own a lot of land ourselves.

oliverqueer : and ur dojo

bilance : And our dojo, yes.

heatwave : sweet

irisbest : Nyssa is your father perhaps against you dating women

bilance : Not that I am aware of.

bilance : On the contrary, he’s quite fond of Sara.

detectiveprettybi : of course he is

bilance : I imagine he’d rather I ended up with someone with more “business competence”.

pipes : Sara is the gold digger

babybibibi : seems likely

bilance : Are you insulting my girlfriend?

detectiveprettybi : we would never

lesbianda : it’s how we express our love

spACEbar : if Nyssa single-handedly travels to Central to kill y’all then i’m glad i’m not there

bilance : I do not believe I’d have a single reason to harm you. I have only heard good things about you.

spACEbar : me specifically or everyone

bilance : That’s yours to find out. ;)

bilance : If you’ll excuse me, I’ll try to continue to sleep now.

irisbest : sleep well!!!!

transco : bye Nyssa!!!!!

lesbianda : man, what a woman

babybibibi : truly

lesbianda : you know who else is quite a woman?

spACEbar : …. Lois lane?

lesbianda : YES


snowflake : WAIT

snowflake : before you do that!

snowflake : the last time someone left the chat there’s been a breakup, so i have to ask

snowflake : bar are you and snart alright

spACEbar : what???

spACEbar : yes ofc we are

spACEbar : ‘peachy’ even, according to len

snowflake : that’s a relief

babybibibi : linda you may continue

lesbianda : thanks

transco : so we really aren’t worried

detectiveprettybi : nah

oliverqueer : snart’ll come around

pipes : speaking of so am i literally @ ronnie @ cait

babybibibi : sure thang

irisbest : please never do that again

babybibibi : sure thang

transco : you did that

irisbest : yeah i regret my life

Chapter Text

oliverqueer : [image attached]

oliverqueer : busy bees

irisbest : so are you paying linda now

oliverqueer : … yes

heatwave : you keep buying people’s affection

irisbest : paygrade better be up top

transco : are they working on the website

oliverqueer : yep

oliverqueer : there’s lots of passive aggressive talk happening

bilance : didnt know felicity could be anything but sweet

bilance : also wtf is that with snart

transco : we just don’t know

bilance : freaking rude

oliverqueer : felicity insults people in a way that nobody even freaking understands but it’s there

transco : you do understand don’t you

oliverqueer : yes it#s awkward and endearing

oliverqueer : i lvoe her so much

irisbest : when will you propose!!!!

oliverqueer : I DON’T KNOW

oliverqueer : MAYBE NEVER

transco : GASP

babybibibi : GASP

irisbest : GASP

bilance : GASP

oliverqueer : no i don’t mean

oliverqueer : ugh

oliverqueer : listen i’d marry felicity in an instant she’s The One

oliverqueer : but she doesn’t think too much of marriage

heatwave : mood

oliverqueer : and i don’t want to put her in such a position like i know she loves me and i know her so i’m aware she’d say no

oliverqueer : without meaning it Like That

irisbest : i love that you’re so thoughtful when it comes to her

irisbest : get yoself a man like oliver queen

transco : but oliver

transco : that’s so sad

oliverqueer : it’s not

babybibibi : a little

oliverqueer : just because we wont sign papers doesn’t mean we aren’t gonna stay together

bilance : god i need to throw up this is so cute

bilance : oliver you’re legally forbidden to be cute wtf

irisbest : is he now

bilance : yes

bilance : [image attached]

transco : laurel isn’t a lawyer yet this isn’t legally binding

oliverqueer : u took a pic of that one???

transco : LET HIM BE CUTE

babybibibi : #LetMenBeCute2k18

lesbianda : oliver stop texting and come back we need to know which colour to use

oliverqueer : wtf green ofc

transco : couldve told you that

spACEbar : this friend group is so messy fhgghg

irisbest : us or your new clique

spACEbar : it’s not ‘my new clique’ wtf iris

spACEbar : but yes them

babybibibi : what happened now

bilance : quick tell me before i fall asleep

spACEbar : kara and mike have some beef going on bc apparently their home countries are mortal enemies

heatwave : spicy

irisbest : wtf i didn’t know kara wasn’t american

transco : im lesbain - i thought u were american

babybibibi : lesbain

bilance : lesbain

transco : i do not like you ppl

irisbest : what fucking countries are they from

spACEbar : idk man

bilance : probably something european

spACEbar : maybe spain and portugal? Mike’s OG Name™ does sound a bit like Manuel La Grande or something

transco : bitch that’s a great name

irisbest : im still so shook kara’s not american

irisbest : WAIT does that mean clark kent also sin’t the 100% farm boy that we think he is

spACEbar : dude idk

irisbest : you’re at the source and keep fucking up bar

irisbest : linda is gonna kill you


irisbest : good job

babybibibi : may i ask where everyone is today

bilance : i’ll take a wild guess and say working

bilance : what time is it at yours

transco : 2pm

bilance : it fucks me up that im legit 12 hours ahead of you

lesbianda : go to bed sara

bilance : fine but only bc its u

bilance : ilu

oliverqueer : yup she sure is sleep-deprived

irisbest : omg oliver i just realized something

irisbest : you have a job

irisbest : u own a club, u run a club, u haVE A JOB

oliverqueer : yes i do

babybibibi : i have a job, cait volunteers during blood runs, hart has a job, cisco has a job, mick has a job, linda has a job, snart may have a job, oliver has a job, iris’s gonna have a job, eddie has a job,

babybibibi : sara and bar are lazy

irisbest : excuse you bar is an anxious muffin don’t stress them they got enough going on

transco : fight mode: activated

irisbest : no u come at bar with such shit and u get hit

irisbest : im taking no prisoners

babybibibi : i… didn’t mena it like that

babybibibi : sorry bar youre doing great

transco : [image attached]

lesbianda : the best meme

irisbest : watch ur mouth bicon

babybibibi : will do

transco : oh linda i have a request

lesbianda : yes

transco : when youre president

lesbianda : yes

transco : can you tell me if aliens exist

lesbianda : cisco

transco : yes

lesbianda : never change

Chapter Text

spACEbar : linda im leaving national today

pipes : she can’t read you she’s knees deep in writing an announcement for the gala

spACEbar : hm

spACEbar : don’t tell her then she needs her concentration

lesbianda : BAR NO

pipes : too late

lesbianda : LISTEN

lesbianda : ask jimmy olsen if he wants to come to the gala as a photographer

irisbest : holy shit that’s an amazing idea

lesbianda : i’ve been known to have those


snowflake : oliver you truly gave her everything she wanted in life with this job

transco : still aint president

spACEbar : what if i told you aliens are real

transco : ofc they are real bar im not an amateur

oliverqueer : [image attached]

oliverqueer : okay this looks cooler than i ever expected

irisbest : it looks like an actual club????

oliverqueer : there’s gonna be light installments behind and around the counter

oliverqueer : and we don’t have stools and the cooling systems yet and all that

oliverqueer : but yeah

snowflake : oliver there’s no need for pretending to be chill


snowflake : that’s more like it







oliverqueer : STILL

transco : have we ever seen oliver this excited

pipes : you shoudl see him irl

pipes : [video attached]

snowflake : aw they’re holding hands!!!!

spACEbar : this is so sweet

pipes : they hold hands all the time

transco : babe how damaging is that to your soul

pipes : not at all

pipes : tommy and oliver lying on the couch, holding hands as they fantasize while staring at the ceiling

pipes : it is incredibly wholesome

pipes : babe pls come over and kiss me

transco : will do after work

pipes : <3

spACEbar : you make me miss my bf stop

transco : how is he anyways

spACEbar : still weird as far as i can tell

irisbest : :/

pipes : yeah he’s even being a bigger asshole than usual to lisa

snowflake : bar u gotta come back and make him happy again :(((

spACEbar : ill call him soon

babybibibi : holy hell guys

babybibibi : the invitation to wells’ place is a joke

pipes : it’s what now

babybibibi : yeah it says to come over on easter sunday

transco : oh wait that’s april 1st this year

transco : huuuh

spACEbar : shit is it?

pipes : ok fine but

pipes : harrison wells is not the person to make april fools jokes

babybibibi : no but henry rudolph wells might be

babybibibi : we don’t know anything about him!!!

snowflake : in times like this i wished we had an AI who had knowledge about anyone

transco : like ultron

spACEbar : ultron should not be the status quo

irisbest : jarvis?

transco : jarvis doesn’t knwo everything about everyone

babybibibi : so now im not going there

babybibibi : it’s decided

pipes : RONNIE

pipes : i will MURDER YOU




transco : do you ever wonder whether we all should take a break from one another

irisbest : all the time

spACEbar : sometimes

irisbest : Bar You’re literally gone all you have to do is set your phone aside

spACEbar : I’m going to coast city today I think this group is tame in contrast

babybibibi : i will go to that dinner apparently

transco : how loudly did he yell into the phone

babybibibi : so loud dude

irisbest : are we sure hartley himself is not the reason for him going dead

irisbest : *DEAF

transco : hahahaha omg

pipes : [link attached]

babybibibi : did you just have that on the ready

pipes : listen the deaf awakening cast has the best humour

irisbest : otherwise Bar do you stay at Hal’s home or

spACEbar : yeah but carol lives there now so it should be safe

transco : That Hal Person sure sounds like a catch

spACEbar : no Hal is great!!!

irisbest : just bc he was the first guy you had a crush on


pipes : man if Snart were here

spACEbar : Hal is a 23yo fuckboy hes got nothing on Snart

spACEbar : also he’s straight with a gf

irisbest : since when is he even dating carol again

transco : wait your visiting someone called carol with someone called danvers

babybibibi : omg

babybibibi : generally Kara danvers carol danvers it’s so close

lesbianda : hello who is carol danvers

transco : Captain marvel

lesbianda : ah

lesbianda : so jimmy olsen is gonna be at the gala and I may be vibrating

heatwave : why do you take ur vibrator to the quiver


spACEbar : Mick what’s Len doing rn

heatwave : no idea I’m not with him

spACEbar : hm

spACEbar : imma call him now while we’re waiting for our bus

transco : have a safe ride Man

babybibibi : try the pizza there for me

spACEbar : obviously

irisbest : like Bar is gonna let some food pass them by

lesbianda : another not as interesting info: Kara and jimmy Olsen’s gf is Lena Luthor

oliverqueer : who the FUCK is Lena luthor

heatwave : takin a wild guess and say she’s related to luthor

lesbianda : Lex’ sister

oliverqueer : Lex doesn’t have a sister

oliverqueer : Lex has a dead brother and a jerk of an half brother

lesbianda : listen i May be nosy but even I can’t decipher the many thousand different takes people have on Lena luthor/Tess Mercer oKAY

lesbianda : but she is a luthor and she’s some degree of sister to lex but also she’s nice?

transco : a miracle

irisbest : “some degree of sister”

irisbest : that’s how I’ll talk about myself in regards to Bar from now on

transco : “some degree of sister” me before coming out as trans

babybibibi : dhhfkflfkflf

irisbest : omg

pipes : BABE

snowflake : do u guys have pet names for each other in different languages

babybibibi : weird topic change out of the blue but it seems like someone has to rant

snowflake : bc what is it in French

pipes : mon coeur

snowflake : I THOUGHT SO OKAY

snowflake : on one hand? Aw

snowflake : ON THE OTHER that word makes the fucking ugliest sound

irisbest : is Caitlin swearing

transco : she has a hatred for French except being good at it

babybibibi : yeah that she is ;)

transco : stop

lesbianda : is2g

pipes : it’s a common French term of endearment wtf

transco : also the way hart says it is… nice?

pipes : so much emotion thanks

snowflake : it might be bc you say it like an American speaking French and not OG French

snowflake : i need to inquire on that some time

pipes : …… okay

transco : hey Oliver have u already found a Russian petname

oliverqueer : ???? No?

transco : sad

pipes : hasimausipupsi

babybibibi : what

pipes : german

lesbianda : yeah sure ofc

irisbest : does anyone else feel like we’re just rambling on until the next big thing happens

irisbest : or until bar comes back home

lesbianda : maybe those two are linked to one another

transco : now don’t tease people like that

pipes : it’s only a tease if the ones who talk like that already planned ahead about what’s to come

lesbianda : ;)

Chapter Text

spACEbar : sometimes, I wonder where exactly Kara and Hal are friends

spACEbar : and then this happens

spACEbar : [video attached]

snowflake : why do they sound like they’re choking!

snowflake : bar don’t take a video! H e l p  t h e m

spACEbar : they brought this onto themselves

snowflake : B A R

spACEbar : they snorted some sweets that carol got while she was travelling

snowflake : they sNORTED SWEETS??????

spACEbar : hal: lol it looks like coke | kara: i bet you won’t snort it | hal: you’re just too chicken to do it yourself | kara: bIT cH

spACEbar : now it just burns apparnetly

transco : disgusting i love it

bilance : weak asses

spACEbar : sara im bringing some back home

bilance : i challenge mick, oliver and dig

snowflake : dig is too clever to attempt something like this

bilance : come to think of it ure right

spACEbar : anyway they might have done it to celebrate me coming out to them

bilance : wtf they didnt know youre a rainbow

spACEbar : they didn’t know im enby

bilance : OHH

bilance : nice!!! Congrats i guess they took it well

spACEbar : yup

spACEbar : kara apologizes for having used the wrong pronouns the whole time and i just keep going IT’S FINE HOW SHOULD YOU HAVE KNOWN

bilance : is kara a sunshine such as caitlin but with the recklessness of idk mick or something

irisbest : yeah

spACEbar : fits the bill

irisbest : bar you were reason for complaining today

spACEbar : i was what

detectiveprettybi : they were what

detectiveprettybi : i will fight

snowflake : eye emoji

irisbest : jesse’s staying over tonight but dad said she’s gotta stay with me

irisbest : cue wally complaining

pipes : what’s he complaining about

irisbest : ‘but snart can always sleep in bar’s bed!!!!!’


spACEbar : wtf i wish

snowflake : aw

bilance : call him and set the record straight

irisbest : pls do not it is 2am

pipes : my prime time

detectiveprettybi : come to think of it where’s your bf

pipes : [image attached]

snowflake : he’ll kill you

snowflake : also awwww

bilance : he’s so soft

bilance : it makes me soft wtf

spACEbar : i feel like youre growing soft bc youre with ur gf

bilance : …. Maybe so

transco : [image attached]

detectiveprettybi : did you wake up just to post a meme

pipes : no that was me

pipes : i figured he wouldnt want to miss out

spACEbar : true love

spACEbar : shit sorry sensitive topic

irisbest : why

pipes : dw doesnt matter

bilance : u know that once linda has read this you will have to explain

pipes : … sighs

pipes : basically i told cisco i love him but He’s Not There Yet


spACEbar : hes felt really bad

pipes : yeah i know but he doesn’t have to

pipes : honestly we joke about it

irisbest : i love this awareness in the relationships atm

irisbest : yall are goals

snowflake : <3

bilance : y’all should actually go to bed

bilance : this is getting way too chummy here

irisbest : im having a sleepover there’s no sleeping here

pipes : that contradicts itself

spACEbar : good night guys


babybibibi : god our group truly is chaotic good huh

oliverqueer : i wouldnt say good

babybibibi : dude we have bar and cait

oliverqueer : right

lesbianda : oliver don’t text get yourself ready we have a strict time schedule

oliverqueer : i regret putting you in charge of anything

lesbianda : chop chop

babybibibi : what’s the plan for today

lesbianda : THE PHOTOSHOOT

babybibibi : wait what photoshoot

lesbianda : jiMMY OLSEN offered to not just take pics at the gala but also beforehand

lesbianda : so there’ll be some of the team and like profiles and all that on the site


irisbest : linda youre so incredible

irisbest : i am literally in love with you

lesbianda : ofc u are

irisbest : shall i hold your hand

lesbianda : PLEASE


irisbest : ill make dad drive me to yours

irisbest : give me 15 minutes

lesbianda : see oliver? That’s dedication

oliverqueer : [image attached]

oliverqueer : we’re literally doing the last touches

lesbianda : iris pls bring your make-up set

irisbest : duh who do you think i am

oliverqueer : rude we look sharp

detectiveprettybi : yeah you do

oliverqueer : wipe that smirk off your face

transco : why the fuck are you texting

detectiveprettybi : you and hartley also always text each other in here

transco : for comedic purposes

oliverqueer : you arent funny

transco : au contraire

transco : in other news is breakfast time over yet

detectiveprettybi : no get ur ass down here lisa is serving something with lots of chili bc she’s pissed

transco : white ppl making spicy food is a joke

transco : so perfect for breakfast

lesbianda : tell em cisco

lesbianda : oh my bell rings

irisbest : yes open up maybe? i’ve been standing here for five minutes

lesbianda : i was drinking coffee

irisbest : that’s it my dad’s coming up with me

detectiveprettybi : youre fucked

lesbianda : jokes on you joe is gonna conghfghrktkgjgl

irisbest : he hugged her

irisbest : gotta say not what i expected

irisbest : oh shit he’s suffocating her

transco : sheesh do we ever have a normal day

detectiveprettybi : unlikely

oliverqueer : nah

babybibibi : aren’t y’all in the same room now

transco : nah im in the kitchen and they’re in the living room

babybibibi : it’s a fucking open kitchen cisco stop playing games

lesbianda : y’all detective joseph ira west just said he’s proud of me

irisbest : she’s literally crying

oliverqueer : thank fuck you brought your make up set

lesbianda : i’d say shut the fuck up but i’m too thankful

transco : also he’s ur boss

lesbianda : shit

oliverqueer : :)

irisbest : no don’t

oliverqueer : Miss Park, we will be expecting you in twenty minutes. Don’t be late.

babybibibi : oh my god

detectiveprettybi : you’ve made a big mistake

lesbianda : have i though


lesbianda : BYE

irisbest : i love her

Chapter Text

snowflake : haven’t heard from our absent members in like a week are they alright

pipes : that tends to happen when someone is absent

lesbianda : watch it don’t be snippy to cait

lesbianda : god am i glad we finished the website

lesbianda : and the announcement is almsot ready to gO

transco : you’re inspiring linda

irisbest : hal and kara are keeping bar on their toes

irisbest : also hal is planning on making them fly with him on the last day (which is today look at that)

transco : fly what now

irisbest : also sara is busy training and hiking with nyssa and her sister, it’s very swet

irisbest : i have no idea what snart is up to

irisbest : and eddie is currently doing his last desk shift with my dad

pipes : have you taken up linda’s position as informed person #1

lesbianda : bless her for that i had no time to snoop

irisbest : fly a plane cisco

transco : ?????????????????

snowflake : ??????????????

pipes : ??????????????

oliverqueer : ?????????????????

irisbest : hal is a pilot you guys

irisbest : ferris aircraft

oliverqueer : oh

pipes : wtf

irisbest : yeah don’t ask me i don’t know the details

snowflake : i feel like that wouldn’t be too great a thing for bar’s anxiety

lesbianda : exactly

irisbest : hal is very positive they should just ‘ignore it’

irisbest : ‘man up’

transco : oh yikes

lesbianda : what’s kara saying to all that

irisbest : that bar’s gotta decide

irisbest : and you knwo them

irisbest : they’re soft

pipes : too soft

transco : bar pls don’t die i don’t have the social skills for a new best friend

oliverqueer : that compassion

heatwave : snart’s only home for the nights lol

snowflake : is he keeping himself busy so he won’t miss Bar too much

oliverqueer : eye emoji

pipes : don’t be like that

transco : yeah don’t be like that

irisbest : literally what did snart do to you to deserve this lack of trust

oliverqueer : That was no accusation!!!! I was curious

lesbianda : sure

heatwave : who the fuck knows

snowflake : thank you for that contribution mick

oliverqueer : wow is Caitlin sarcastic

transco : no she means it

irisbest : i love you cait

pipes : big reveal: iris is a lesbian after all

irisbest : boy I wish

irisbest : men are so tiring

oliverqueer : ;)

irisbest : nOT IN THE GOOD WAY

transco : What who’s bothering you

lesbianda : yeah Iris who’s bothering you

irisbest : get off my dick Linda

heatwave : kinky

pipes : aren’t helping yourself here

irisbest : men in general

transco : ok yeah I feel

pipes : gotta love being the chosen one

transco : no you ain’t Harry Potter

pipes : Halloween is upon us

oliverqueer : it’s March

pipes : yeah but end of March and that means it’s April soon

lesbianda : i cant believe you still think my boy hp was white smh

pipes : I miss Snart I feel like that would have been an opener to roast me

irisbest : jeez

oliverqueer : god hartley

lesbianda : cisco your bf has a crush on your bff’s bf

transco : we been knew

spACEbar : lmao i may have gotten hal suspended

transco : YOU DID WHAT

irisbest : bar you freaking icon HOW

spACEbar : threw up in his plane

pipes : ew

snowflake : are you okay!!!!!

irisbest : maybe youre no icon after all

spACEbar : we wanted to fly!!!!!

spACEbar : didn’t even take off and i was sick

spACEbar : on the bright side this is way funnier and memorable for the ages

oliverqueer : bar…. Are YOU getting a kick out of your friend being in trouble

oliverqueer : what happened

irisbest : hal is a bad influence on them

spACEbar : shut up

irisbest : see

spACEbar : hal’ll be fine his gf’s dad is his boss

lesbianda : but doesn’t carol’s dad hate him

lesbianda : and didn’t he forbid her to date hal for the longest time

spACEbar : what the

irisbest : IT WASN’T ME

pipes : sometimes i wonder who’s got the better contacts - linda or snart

transco : you know what these two have in common?

pipes : MICK

transco : MICK

snowflake : MICK

spACEbar : MICK

irisbest : MICK

oliverqueer : MICK

lesbianda : yeah no it aint mick

lesbianda : or is it

heatwave : pipes back at talking about snart

pipes : listen im a simple man

pipes : when will he return from war

transco : did you dramatically turn around in your chair to stare out the window

pipes : ofc

irisbest : wow i wouldnt have thought your workplace has a window

pipes : mercury’s next gen bitch

lesbianda : don’t call a woman bitch you jerk

pipes : >:(

spACEbar : anyway i don’t think hal’s gonna be in big trouble as long as he cleans up

snowflake : are you helping him?

spACEbar : my bus leaves in an hour

oliverqueer : snart is really rubbing off on you

transco : ;)

oliverqueer : nobody say aynthing i realized my mistake

pipes : ;)

irisbest : ;)

heatwave : heh

spACEbar : god i can’t believe i missed you guys

snowflake : AW

Chapter Text

transco : I just inhaled four tacos

snowflake : you did WHAT

transco : I got them for free but they’re the kind you gotta eat while they’re hot

transco : and my breaks only in an hour

transco : so I had to be fast

babybibibi : i cant believe I dated you

transco : fuck off

pipes : I can’t believe I AM dating you

transco : fuck you

pipes : that a promise

transco : maybe

bilance : disgusting

snowflake : I think they’re cute

bilance : no i meant Cisco’s eating habits

babybibibi : understandable

spACEbar : hey cisco until when are you working I might swing by later

transco : !!!!! I was already sad you didn’t say hi to anyone yesterday

spACEbar : I was tired :((((

snowflake : you’re forgiven

babybibibi : ^

transco : anyway I’ve gotta work till 2

spACEbar : nice! I’m visiting my dad at noon so I’ll be around at like 1:30

pipes : how often can you even visit him

spACEbar : once a month but today’s extra bc it’s pesach!

transco : ohhhh say hi from me

babybibibi : do you know bar’s dad

transco : no but im sure he’s heard of me :~D

spACEbar : all of u ofc

snowflake : awwwww

spACEbar : ok see you later

pipes : babe go wait some tables

transco : i wish it’s dead in oh no there’s a group of students

babybibibi : rip francisco paco ramon 1997-2018

pipes : he’ll be terribly missed

irisbest : i see you’re really compassionate

snowflake : morning iris!!!!

irisbest : morn

irisbest : i swear even i haven’t seen bar since they came home

babybibibi : were they busy with snart ;)

irisbest : no they literally went straight to bed when dad picked them up

irisbest : bc apparently sleeping on the bus is a no-go

pipes : the more you know

snowflake : wait so snart did no romantic picking up gesture?

snowflake : i am so disappointed

babybibibi : i swear she’s more invested in that relationship than our own

snowflake : not true!

irisbest : caitlin i propose you show xem just exactly how invested you are in your relationship

snowflake : great idea

heatwave : have fun boning

pipes : mick i gotta say i love how you’re always reading along

heatwave : who says i am

bilance : maybe his timing is just as good as mine

irisbest : god i really wish i were into women

pipes : this would be the point where cisco posts a shia labeouf “JUST DO IT” meme

irisbest : are we sure the college kids didn’t kill him

bilance : WE are college kids and didnt kill him

heatwave : close call

oliverqueer : linda incoming

lesbianda : GUYS LOOK AT THIS

lesbianda : [image attached]

irisbest : you look so happy!!!!

oliverqueer : we’re all very proud of her.

bilance : there’s a period at the end of the sentence he really means it

oliverqueer : i do!

oliverqueer : honestly i don’t know what i would have done without linda

oliverqueer : if mom had given me one of her press dudes then it would have been no doubt a straight white old man who’d have MAYBE pretended to be hip

oliverqueer : now even this announcement in the paper is heartfelt and real

oliverqueer : and now excuse me while i go grab some tissues and hug her

pipes : awwwwwww

irisbest : that’s so cute

bilance : wtf so nice

spACEbar : mick is snart home

heatwave : idk probably

heatwave : im @ gym w/ pretty

spACEbar : great

spACEbar : cisco sorry i won’t stop by after all

irisbest : are you missing him so bad

pipes : they might even miss him more than the rest of us

bilance : jesus first eddie with his fake crush on bar and now you with ur fake crush on snart

pipes : is it fake tho

bilance : also did anyone else feel some sort of determination coming off bar’s texts

transco : you’d think at the age of 20+ ppl would have learnt how to eat,

transco : aw bar :(( but ok i get it

irisbest : weak

pipes : i regret that we sent ronnie and caitlin away i have a whole list of questions for them to ask tomorrow

transco : hartley. Rathaway. I can’t believe that you are seen as a genius

transco : when you literally don’t even fucking realize you have both their numbers

pipes : … im really bad at everyday life

transco : yeah

irisbest : those kids really pissed you off huh

bilance : oh is the wells dinner tomorrow?

transco : yep

transco : answer to both of you

pipes : we’re getting insights here we need to dive into those

pipes : for the record i’d like to announce that about 34% of the question are by cisco

oliverqueer : im not even gonna ask how that percentage came to be

transco : it’s for the better

lesbianda : you guys are unbelievably horny for your freaking professor

heatwave : fantasy threesome

lesbianda : yeah that

bilance : shouldnt you be doing sports how are you even texting

heatwave : lifting weights today

bilance : ah. Sure

transco : hart are you still at my place?

pipes : nope

transco : go there

pipes : yep

lesbianda : whipped

pipes : i was promised sex so

pipes : shrug emoji

oliverqueer : i love how we’ve just come to the point where we type exactly what emoji we mean

bilance : yeah well it’s not like we have any other options here

lesbianda : @ ronnie @ cait pls ask wells why hr didn’t think of emojis

irisbest : bar is already home???

irisbest : im an eye emoji

lesbianda : go forth and snoop my friend

oliverqueer : we really need to work on our privacies here

transco : they have never existed in the first place ollie grow up

oliverqueer : i am 6 years older than you

transco : weird af

bilance : you’re old

oliverqueer : >:/

lesbianda : why do we always come back to hating on oliver

bilance : you’ve grown soft on him

lesbianda : well? Yeah

lesbianda : for good reason

transco : did you propose to him yet

oliverqueer : so often

pipes : sweet

Chapter Text

spACEbar has left the chat


babybibibi : so…. was anyone around for that

oliverqueer : what the

oliverqueer : what

transco : BAR?????

pipes : im as confused as everyone else but

pipes : kudos to doing this in the short time where nobody was online

babybibibi : Iris?

transco : they aren’t replying to me :(((

oliverqueer : Linda doesn’t know anything either

pipes : the fuck

pipes : okay but Snart and Bar leaving the chat shortly after one another……..

transco : nO

babybibibi : shit I gotta keep cait away from the chat or else she’ll have a breakdown

oliverqueer : and you guys are supposed to socialize today

babybibibi : exactly

transco : honestly they’re probably fine

transco : just… a break from the mess

oliverqueer : i sure hope so

pipes : yeah let’s just accept it like this

pipes : and change the topic

transco : Wells?

pipes : wells

babybibibi : we literally still have four hours

babybibibi : and I feel like you guys are more excited/nervous than me

pipes : yeah sorry we are not basically best buds with him

transco : yeah to us harrison wells is an enigma

oliverqueer : didnt he literally give you a job hartley

pipes : no he just talked to tina mcgee and recommended me dUH

oliverqueer : ah sure my mistake

babybibibi : im gonna distract my fiance now

detectiveprettybi : anyone else feel like theyre getting more sex lately than ever before

transco : ok i dunno why but i feel attacked by this statement

oliverqueer : fofpfpfpf

detectiveprettybi : anyway joe is weird today i wanted to see if something’s up

pipes : well

detectiveprettybi : bAR LEFT THE CHAT?

detectiveprettybi : WHAT HAPPENED

transco : we don’t know

transco : but dang if even joe is weird

oliverqueer : well we can be sure nobody got hurt bc i doubt that would bring a silent retreat with it

pipes : true

transco : dang oliver you should become a PI or something

detectiveprettybi : yeah but???

oliverqueer : maybe they have a bad episode?

transco : :((((

detectiveprettybi : could be, joe looks pretty worried

pipes : i cant believe you dare to call him by his first name

detectiveprettybi : not to his face trust me

pipes : pfpfpfpfpgjg

detectiveprettybi : don’t mock me

detectiveprettybi : anyway we have our first patrol tomorrow i hope he’s in a better mood by then

bilance : PATROL

bilance : you’re gonna do amazing sweetie

transco : [image attached]

bilance : thanks cisco

transco : de nada

pipes : sara seriously how does your timing fit so perfectly

bilance : we had this discussion already it’s one of my superpowers

transco : true

babybibibi : new tactic: we’re gonna go grocery shopping to bring a gift

babybibibi : what do you bring a scientist

oliverqueer : wine

bilance : wine

pipes : wine

transco : wine

detectiveprettybi : wine

babybibibi : okay wine it is

babybibibi : any suggestions which one

bilance : rosé

bilance : bc you don’t know whether he likes white or red do you

babybibibi : great idea

transco : sara learnt from all the times she showed up on rich ppl’s doorways

bilance : yeah lol

irisbest : bar’s fine they’re having a fight with snart

irisbest : that being said next time i see that guy i’ll rip out his dick

pipes : holy shit

oliverqueer : what happened

irisbest : dunno, they don’t wanna talk about it

irisbest : but it’s something serious

irisbest : so yeah snart’s a dead man

transco : s h i t

detectiveprettybi : no wonder your dad is like that

irisbest : yeah

irisbest : anyway figured you guys might wanna know why they logged off

irisbest : see you later i gotta cheer up a rainbow

transco : :-(

pipes : they’ll be fine

oliverqueer : yeeeahhh

detectiveprettybi : honestly this aint on brand for me but i am convinced it’s just something minor that blew up

transco : probably yeah

bilance : seems likely

oliverqueer : glad we settled that

bilance : i feel like im missing all the juice lately

pipes : you ARE 12 hours ahead of us

detectiveprettybi : honestly i’d have thought you’d be around less

bilance : rude

detectiveprettybi : i said THOUGHT not hoped

babybibibibi : OH MY GOD

transco : oh boy it’s almost time!!!!



pipes : WHO

transco : IS IT HR

babybibibi : THAT TOO BUT

babybibibi : WALLY

transco : WALLY?

pipes : WALLY?

detectiveprettybi : WALLY?

babybibibi : WALLY

oliverqueer : wait what now


pipes : NO

babybibibi : YES

transco : NO

babybibibi : YES



pipes : WILL DO

pipes : OH MY GOD



oliverqueer : im not even sure what to say

bilance : this is such a classic central city move

detectiveprettybi : okay so a guy who lives in the same house as me has a crush on the father of the girl whom my partner’s son is dating

oliverqueer : that’s a mouthful

detectiveprettybi : applies to multiple things about me

transco : nice one

transco : im literally shaking at this point

pipes : i dont know whether to laugh or to cry

pipes : [image attached]

bilance : i love the notion of “okay so shall i kick xem in the balls for being cisco’s ex or is xe good” in Wally’s text

oliverqueer : wally/hartley brotp

detectiveprettybi : tag urself im “you literally cuddled with these people on bar’s birthday”

transco : wally is a legend

oliverqueer : quick question why can wally text undetectedly in contrast to his siblings

lesbianda : bc he wasn’t raised by joe duh

bilance : i see my perfect timing got rubbed off to you

lesbianda : ;)

pipes : wally is now livetexting the experience to me

detectiveprettybi : iconic

detectiveprettybi : uh oh im being glared at

detectiveprettybi : bi

oliverqueer : did he really write bi instead of bye

bilance : bicon


lesbianda : who now

pipes : CISCO AND ME

transco : he WHAT

bilance : hey linda did you know who jesse was

lesbianda : for once in my life nope

pipes : [image attached]

oliverqueer : you guys sERIOUSLY play footsie during CLASS

lesbianda : that’s adorable

transco : idk babe that’s just bashing you

transco : “I liked it better when mr Ramon was dating YOU ronnie”

pipes : okay, first of all, rude.

pipes : second, im pretty sure wells likes me better

bilance : he did get you a job

lesbianda : have wally ask

pipes : not suspicious at all


transco : NO

pipes : NO

snowflake : UH-HUH




pipes : WE DID NOT


lesbianda : holy shit caitlin is swearing

bilance : we’re corrupting her

oliverqueer : i have no idea what’s going on

transco : jesse’s high school is our high school

oliverqueer : when you say “our” you mean

pipes : cisco and me

pipes : and not only that

transco : the chemistry teacher who made us hate each other?

pipes : she has the same chemistry teacher

lesbianda : i love this city

bilance : only in central

Chapter Text

pipes : im meeting up with wally today and i intend to shout at him

babybibibi : it’s been two days hart

oliverqueer : and you have shouted a lot at home

irisbest : you have even shouted at me

pipes : couldnt help it

pipes : i just. How could this be a secret

oliverqueer : tell him about your history with your chemistry teacher

pipes : yeah im sure stein will love to hear his best students are dating now

irisbest : a story for the ages

babybibibi : hey so how is bar

irisbest : still pissed and sad

oliverqueer : and how is snart

irisbest : like hell i care

pipes : oh damn

babybibibi : can’t y’all just ask lisa

oliverqueer : nope

pipes : apparently her dear brother ignores her. She’s VERY pissed

oliverqueer : her shouting matched hart’s

babybibibi : dear god

irisbest : change of topic before i get angry

babybibibi : uH

babybibibi : OH YES

babybibibi : i talked to hr about the chat

oliverqueer : this one specifically or the app

babybibibi : both

babybibibi : he’s a big fan of your work

irisbest : when will we get emojis

babybibibi : get this: hr does not like emojis

babybibibi : i still can’t believe. This dude is a rl jvn and he doesn’t like emojis

oliverqueer : eye emoji

oliverqueer : as IF he’s a rl jvn

babybibibi : dude hes soooooo extra

irisbest : what the fuck is jvn

oliverqueer : Long hair dude from queer eye

irisbest : ah

transco : tell me more about hr

babybibibi : how do you always text at work

transco : it’s before noon at a Mexican restaurant

transco : its dead Jim

pipes : [image attached]

pipes : Wally’s literal reaction to finding out what stein did to us

oliverqueer : he looks so happy pffff

irisbest : Wally loves a good dramatic love story

irisbest : his fav movie is brokeback mountain

babybibibi : NO THATS SO SAD

transco : I love Wally

pipes : wow

transco : …..

transco : you’re going to catch these hands

pipes : gladly

oliverqueer : i love how you guys are just treating that like a meme

lesbianda : just like your proposal to Felicity

bilance : Which, of course, will never happen.

bilance : Because Oliver Queen is not the person to get married.

irisbest : i seriously love how well the vibes come off two sentences

oliverqueer : wtf i might be, Nyssa

bilance : Your past says otherwise.

babybibibi : i don’t want to get into this but…. anyone else feel weird when someone else bullies Oliver

lesbianda : um excuse you Nyssa hi i have a Minor crush on you but

lesbianda : you do realize Oliver has become A GREAT person yes

irisbest : exactly and Oliver’s love for felicity is very pure and 100%

pipes : have you founded a protect Oliver alliance

bilance : I suppose his sleeping around has become less.

bilance : And that he might spend his time more purposefully than previously.

oliverqueer : Holt shit that’s like a love declaration from you

bilance : Now, don’t make it weird.

transco : yes ma’am

bilance : … And it is weird.

bilance : Goodbye.

babybibibi : can we all agree that SHE made it weird

pipes : totally

oliverqueer : i love you guys

babybibibi : wow i think we Never heard this from you before

transco : I miss Bar

detectiveprettybi : hey Iris how is your dad

irisbest : still fuming

detectiveprettybi : fuck

lesbianda : OHHHH patrol

detectiveprettybi : yup

pipes : look on the bright side you can be sure he’s not just pissed at you

detectiveprettybi : … i Hope i can survive until my birthday

oliverqueer : oh btw

oliverqueer : HI GUYS

oliverqueer : it’s your very own Lisa Snart here

babybibibi : Lisa!!!!!

irisbest : the only Snart that matters hello

oliverqueer : oh preach it girl

heatwave : mood

oliverqueer : Mick you literally live with my brother what the fuck is he doing to dodge my calls

heatwave : dunno he’s barely here

heatwave : but he’s in that mood

oliverqueer : that mood?

heatwave : ya

oliverqueer : shit

lesbianda : which mood

oliverqueer : the one that’s not good

irisbest : shrug emoji

transco : cold

babybibibi : anyway Lisa you wanted something?

oliverqueer : yes thank you

oliverqueer : more important than my brothers well being thank you

detectiveprettybi : you know with you I can never tell whether something like this is sarcastic or not

oliverqueer : what’s the most feminist song you know

pipes : who run the world

oliverqueer : classy I like it

lesbianda : most girls by hailee steinfeld

irisbest : praying by kesha

oliverqueer : damn coming through strong

transco : uptown funk

oliverqueer : what The fuck

babybibibi : ????

transco : it encourages women to sing along and gives them an excuse to holla how hot they are at the sky without being called conceited for it. Bruno Mars is a feminist Icon. In this Essay i will

oliverqueer : okay sure why not

pipes : what is this even for

oliverqueer : Eddie’s birthday silly

detectiveprettybi : youre making a feminist playlist for my birthday?

oliverqueer : yep

detectiveprettybi : only You, I swear.

babybibibi : look what you made me do by Taylor Swift

oliverqueer : you know what? You’re actually absolutely right

detectiveprettybi : this is gonna be such a weird one

lesbianda : Birthday or playlist?

detectiveprettybi : Both

oliverqueer : exactly what I want!

irisbest : every time a girl speaks up in this chat I wish I could date her

transco : [image attached]

pipes : finally he can bring in Shia labeouf

babybibibi : honestly we keep coming back to this

lesbianda : are you sure you aren’t a repressed lesbian Iris

irisbest : sadly yeah :/

oliverqueer : Lisa and laurel preparing a playlist together is death

pipes : go mom!!!!

transco : don’t let Lisa know whom you’re rooting for

pipes : I may be depressed but I value my life

transco : good to know

babybibibi : healthy

detectiveprettybi : bye I need to leave

lesbianda : good luck

pipes : Iris Wally asks if you want something from big belly’s

irisbest : nah im Fine

irisbest : but tell him to get Bar their fav

pipes : will do

irisbest : Hope they’ll eat then

transco : :((((

transco : you think I could stop by

irisbest : might help

transco : I’ll even binge the future trunks saga with them

babybibibi : That will probably distract them

transco : dragonball AND worrying about time travel? I sure hope it does

oliverqueer : You’re a good Bestie

Chapter Text

bilance : happy birthday to my favourite bi

babybibibi : you know, i still find that highly offensive

babybibibi : otherwise: happy birthday eddie from both me and cait

pipes : he’s got early patrol so he’s already asleep

babybibibi : awww man

bilance : i literally just got up lol

pipes : gotta love timezones

bilance : does west know he’s working with a birthday boy

babybibibi : im guessing no

pipes : and we have no way of telling him damn

bilance : eye emoji

oliverqueer : no you will not call Eddie while he’s at work and you are on a different continent

bilance : spoilsport

oliverqueer : don’t you have to do something way too exhausting with Nyssa anyways

bilance : we do have pretty amazing sex, yes

oliverqueer : things I never wanted to know

babybibibi : you already know what Sara is like in bed

pipes : yeah how is this news to you

bilance : but in other news yes we are going to climb a mountain to do yoga in an amazing environment

babybibibi : i saw your insta the other day and I’m so jealous

bilance : excuse me why aren’t you looking at my insta every day

babybibibi : pardon me

bilance : anyway yeah shower waits

oliverqueer : hartley turn down your music it’s after midnight

babybibibi : don’t you have work tomorrow hart

pipes : yeah fine I’m gone

babybibibi : good night


detectiveprettybi : thanks guys!!!!

detectiveprettybi : Sara pls don’t call me i don’t need any more surprises today

transco : who gave you a surprise!!!!

transco : also happy birthday

pipes : Lisa lol


transco : ouch

irisbest : that’s so unfortunate

pipes : Iris mourns the boners

detectiveprettybi : she hit more of my thigh the pain is bearable

lesbianda : okay enough dick talk

lesbianda : happy birthday Eddie when does the party start

detectiveprettybi : whenever more than three of y’all show up

irisbest : Let’s get it started without Eddie there

pipes : Hell Yeah

detectiveprettybi : rude

detectiveprettybi : but yeah basically

transco : will bar come @ Iris

irisbest : Yeah

detectiveprettybi : i guess it’s safe to assume Snart won’t so yeah

lesbianda : this is still so. Eye emoji

pipes : same

detectiveprettybi : okay anyway gotta go

irisbest : say hi to my dad from me

detectiveprettybi : yeah ofc

lesbianda : i love how this developed

oliverqueer : okay Lisa and I had an idea and y’all need to stop by this afternoon

irisbest : eye emoji

transco : eye emoji

lesbianda : eye emoji

snowflake : eye emoji

oliverqueer : smirk emoji

irisbest : huh

lesbianda : im so nosy imma stop by right away

irisbest : I’ll join you

oliverqueer : lmao


transco : shit I wanna know too but I gotta work

pipes : I’ll call you when I leave for mercury

transco : you’re the best

lesbianda : Young love

snowflake : we’re stopping by in the afternoon

snowflake : shall we bring anything?

pipes : this is a rich ppls home

oliverqueer : a good mood

transco : always present

irisbest : :’D

lesbianda : okay Iris I’ll wait at jitters

irisbest : nice

pipes : I’m calling cisco but he isn’t picking up

snowflake : maybe he’s actually got to work rn

oliverqueer : probably

pipes : ah there he goes

lesbianda : anyone else want a premium coffee

oliverqueer : Tommy could maybe be calmed down with one

lesbianda : lmao he’s flipping out?

oliverqueer : no but he might be when y’all show up so early

lesbianda : makes sense


oliverqueer : Lisa takes all the credit

transco : ofc she does

detectiveprettybi : WHICH IDEA

pipes : don’t spoil yourself Eddie

deteciveprettybi : i gotta say joe looks calmer than before

transco : does he now

detectiveprettybi : yeah but I gotta leave again

pipes : see you later!!

irisbest : apparently tommy only just realized he should probably stop working at another bar if he runs one

snowflake : I thought verdant is a nightclub

irisbest : same clientele still

snowflake : how did this not occur to him before

lesbianda : no idea but he’s conferring with laurel now

snowflake : for the better

irisbest : i love this household

irisbest : [image attached]

snowflake : Lisa looks right at home on dig’s shoulders i’m so in awe

lesbianda : she’s determined to decorate the whole house

pipes : the whole house????

oliverqueer : it’s only gonna be living room and kitchen

pipes : it’s the same room

pipes : the counter doesn’t suddenly turn it into two we already had this discussion oliver

irisbest : leave him alone

lesbianda : #oliverqueenprotectionsquad

snowflake : you’re a duo

irisbest : ok i feel like cait wrote this but i can’t believe that

snowflake : it was me but it wasn’t meant as rude or anything

lesbianda : sounds more like you

transco : okay my shift’s over !!!! so i’m there soon

transco : can you believe only 1 more of those???

lesbianda : wair seriously

transco : yeah only sunday left

irisbest : you gotta work on sunday?

transco : yeah it’s horrible i can’t even get drunk at the gala

lesbianda : oh i’d recommend you don’t get drunk today either bc we’re all kinda representative tomorrow

snowflake : noted

transco : cait you barely drink anyways

snowflake : maybe i was turning it up tonight!

transco : [image attached]

irisbest : who is jan even

transco : character from a 70s show

lesbianda : ah so white nonsense

transco : probably

transco : anyway see you ladies in 30

snowflake : when’s eddie off

irisbest : 5

snowflake : that’s still so long

lesbianda : oliver is making us watch some random gay hbo show

lesbianda : i can’t believe this guy thought he was straight

pipes : “some gay hbo show”

pipes : that cleared that up

irisbest : idk man it’s a bunch of gay dudes in san francisco i don’t know the show

lesbianda : too many men for my liking

snowflake : persuade him to watch sense8

lesbianda : you genius

transco : or one day at a time!!!!

lesbianda : oh damn that’s even better that will have us ending in a happy crying mess

transco : WAIT FOR ME

pipes : oh isn’t that the one you wanted me to watch

pipes : i guess y’all are already busy

pipes : okay see you later

Chapter Text

irisbest : ok i know we only just went home

irisbest : but i would like to announce that this aint just something to randomly announce on your birthday


pipes : why are you awake it is 4am at yours

bilance : i waited for the juicy details!!!!!

bilance : why was none of you texting until fucking 4pm and why is iris only now getting home

oliverqueer : everyone crashed here and they’re only leaving to change into fancy clothing

bilance : wow


lesbianda : well

transco : WELL

irisbest : W E L L

oliverqueer : W e L l

bilance : i hate you guys

pipes : honestly that isnt my part to tell

transco : like hell it is

irisbest : imma spill the beans

lesbianda : eddie and hartley are moving in together

irisbest : eddie is leaving the quiver and get this

irisbest : goddammit linda

bilance : THEY’RE WHAT

transco : SAME

transco : you’d think *I* WOULD KNOW

pipes : what did YOU want to move in with me

transco : well maybe i wanted

pipes : wait what

lesbianda : juicy

transco : I mean not yet but

babybibibi : for fucks sake Cisco could you finally tell this guy you love him

babybibibi : like you didn’t even CONSIDER moving in with me

lesbianda : JUICY

transco : listen when i do it it sure as hell wont happen in this chat

bilance : okay that old lover’s quarrel aside


babybibibi : again, offensive

pipes : it’s like i don’t matter to you


transco : offensive


oliverqueer : apparently a few weeks ago

bilance : BITCH WHAT


transco : BUT YOU AGREED

lesbianda : honestly how could y#all keep that secret from us

bilance : AND WHERE _IS_ EDDIE

irisbest : getting ready for later

irisbest : he has to stop at the station to go to verdant with singh

snowflake : am i the only one who feels like calling it verdant is weird

oliverqueer : no it’s literally called verdant we’re not giving my nightclub a weird name as well

pipes : that already IS a weird name

bilance : don’t think you can change the topic hartley i need more info on that moving out thing wtf

pipes : eddie and i talked one night, killed a bottle of whiskey, he came up with the idea and i was like huh doesn’t sound too bad

pipes : i’ve been earning money for ages now i feel bad continuing to live for free

bilance : okay that’s rude towards lisa, dig and me but cool

transco : “for ages” babe you’ve had this job for less than three months

bilance : are you sure you wanna live with eddie

bilance : is eddie sure he wants to live with you

pipes : we’re gonna wing it

babybibibi : doesn’t sound much like you

pipes : i can be spontaneous!

transco : liar

heatwave : he schedule your sex life or something

bilance : hey mick were you at the party

oliverqueer : he was

bilance : did you tell the juice on snart

transco : he did not

irisbest : he did not :/

lesbianda : just kept grunting at lisa and drinking alc

heatwave : yeah discussed it with lisa

pipes : what

babybibibi : you grunted at her and she scrunched up her face???? The whole time????

lesbianda : ok well i guess they had their time for acing nonverbal communication

bilance : what did you guys decide

heatwave : that snart’s a jerk

irisbest : we been knew

oliverqueer : we knew that

transco : tell us something new

pipes : wow newsflash

lesbianda : gathered that

babybibibi : i had no idea

bilance : glad we settled that

bilance : was bar there?

irisbest : yeah

transco : how are they they looked kinda dead when you left

bilance : wait what happened

bilance : god i kinda regret being here for so long

bilance : (no i don’t)

pipes : they didn’t drink much but some hard shit tbh

irisbest : they’re ok

irisbest : we’re both still on for later

oliverqueer : good. The more the merrier

detectiveprettybi : listen i was only supposed to stay until i knew where i’d be stationed

detectiveprettybi : so you guys can’t be too surprised im moving out

bilance : you were here for two months!!!!!

bilance : at that point NOBODY moves out

lesbianda : yeah look at lisa

lesbianda : i would’ve said hartley but he dOESNT work as an example any more

detectiveprettybi : hartley has already felt bad when oliver bribed a bouncer for him

detectiveprettybi : im just thinking ahead

pipes : you came up with that idea before that happened

detectiveprettybi : fine find your own arguments then

lesbianda : can you guys reduce the fighting we have something important in t minus 2 hours

bilance : im so sad im missing it :((

oliverqueer : you’ve crashed plenty galas so far

bilance : yeah but none as gay

lesbianda : we’ll have lots more

bilance : i sure hope so

lesbianda : okay i need to change as well and then the boys, laurel and me are leaving

bilance : iris kiss someone pretty for me

irisbest : i mean, i will, but why me

bilance : alternatively eddie or mick could do it they’re the single ones

pipes : well someone definitely will

bilance : please keep me posted

babybibibi : will do

Chapter Text

oliverqueer : god im so nervous

oliverqueer : am i even allowed to be nervous???

bilance : maybe a little

oliverqueer : i think tommy’s more nervous than me

bilance : ????

bilance : bitch why

oliverqueer : bc i will defiantly fck up & say smth offensive

pipes : tommy when will you learn how to spell definitely

bilance : we’ve given up years ago

lesbianda : oh there’s singh and eddie

lesbianda : oliver tommy go say hi

oliverqueer : roger

babybibibi : we’re waiting for our uber driver

bilance : that’s like the worst thing about this nightclub

transco : don’t get ollie started on that

lesbianda : [image attached]

lesbianda : look at my men

bilance : singh is wearing a pronouns button!!!!

lesbianda : i’m so happy

irisbest : our cab driver took a wrong turn

pipes : classic

lesbianda : listen once the club is better known NOBODY will get lost

babybibibi : your advertising is saving it

transco : anyways so eddie is busy

transco : and we all know he isn’t checking his phone when he’s on duty

pipes : especially not with singh close

irisbest : yeah that’d be unprofessional

babybibibi : oh that means we can check up on each other

bilance : wait what

lesbianda : our big mission for today

bilance : eye emoji

transco : you won’t believe who’s showing up today

bilance : I GET A VIBE



babybibibi : the mission is to get Eddie and Bruce to hook up



lesbianda : basically you are

bilance : MAKE ME PROUD

irisbest : okay our cab driver says we need like 10 more minutes

lesbianda : good Moira arrived I need to be introduced bye

transco : it’s still fairly empty

babybibibi : our uber driver is here

babybibibi : funny dude, keeps pointing out his name is ric without a k

pipes : gotta say the club really turned out nice

oliverqueer : !!! thanks

oliverqueer : even my mother nodded approvingly

bilance : holy shit

bilance : what drugs did you give her

pipes : SARA!!!! why aren’t you here :((((

bilance : hi Thea

transco : damn You’re so good

bilance : so I’ve been told ;)

pipes : don’t ignore me ;A;

bilance : girl I’m literally on the other side of the world

pipes : fine

transco : ah Iris and Bar arrived

lesbianda : guys please socialize we don’t wanna look too suspicious

bilance : i think talking irl would raise Eddie’s suspicions

irisbest : ikr

bilance : Iris my main girl how hot do you look

babybibibi : very

babybibibi : we also arrived

oliverqueer : Let’s see how this pans out

lesbianda : oh god Bruce arrived

bilance : wow and it’s only two hours after start

pipes : did Eddie see him yet???

irisbest : no hes been with Singh the whole time

babybibibi : Singh looks so annoyed

lesbianda : yeah well fucking look at Eddie

irisbest : even I have never seen him this stiff

bilance : wow

transco : wow

lesbianda : im going in and save him

bilance : Eddie or singh?

lesbianda : kinda both

pipes : good luck

oliverqueer : Bruce is here

bilance : we know

irisbest : Linda is currently freeing Eddie

bilance : how’s the gala going officially

pipes : weird ppl who know my parents keep talking to me

transco : we wanted to hide behind dig but he’s gotta keep his bodyguard cover towards Moira

bilance : im glad this is as much of a mess as i expected

oliverqueer : im getting so much praise I can’t believe

bilance : don’t pop a boner

babybibibi : saving intel on Oliver’s praise kink for later

oliverqueer : im gonna take care of Bruce

heatwave : kinky

bilance : Mick are you at the gala?

heatwave : no

irisbest : he doesn’t wanna run into Singh

transco : valid

irisbest : god bar disappeared to the bathroom ages ago and they didn’t look too well

irisbest : but now I gotta talk to Eddie he’s coming my way

snowflake : we’ll check up on them

transco : bless

lesbianda : god I love Singh

lesbianda : hes just. So professional

bilance : Linda has a crush on Singh

lesbianda : the only man I care about




babybibibi : Bar is okay just a Little overwhelmed

babybibibi : were chilling with them for now

bilance : wait so you all are occupied now

lesbianda : im Free rn

oliverqueer : not for much longer

oliverqueer : Linda do you see me

lesbianda : what

oliverqueer : no seriously bc IM HERE WITH CLARK KENT

lesbianda : NO


lesbianda : WHAT

bilance : well shit I thought this night was for Oliver and Eddie but I think Linda is about to combust

babybibibi : probably

irisbest : I’ve gotten rid off Eddie bc I’m worried for Bar

snowflake : they’re fine

irisbest : well I couldn’t have guessed

babybibibi : were cuddling on the bathroom floor

irisbest : im joining

heatwave : kinky

bilance : Snart’s not there is he

irisbest : Nope

heatwave : ain’t at the apartment either

bilance : at this Point idk whether to be worried or curious

irisbest : Nope fairly sure he’s the one who fucked up

transco : update we fell in love

pipes : Bruce left us bc he saw someone he knows

pipes : eye emoji

transco : can you believe

bilance : okay but Bruce can know anyone there are we sure

oliverqueer : yep they’re talking

bilance : BOY

pipes : I SEE IT


babybibibi : WERE ON OUR WAY

irisbest : now that’s a fantasy threesome


snowflake : god this is better than a romcom

bilance : this sounds so promising

oliverqueer : i know Linda is talking to the bf of her biggest idol but I’m sad she’s missing this

irisbest : trust me she isn’t

transco : this is so intense

pipes : wait they’re parting

pipes : why are they parting

bilance : maybe our dear detective thawne remembered he’s being there in a professional manner


irisbest : That was Bar

irisbest : this cheered them up

snowflake : Eddie looks so dreamy

transco : is he going to the bathroom to jerk off

pipes : who knows

babybibibi : oh god this reminds me

babybibibi : guess who we caught making out in a hallway

oliverqueer : Lisa and Sin?

heatwave : oh


bilance : not that again

oliverqueer : 2 weeks

bilance : 3 months

oliverqueer : ??? They’ve NEVER made it through more than two months

bilance : im feeling the love this morning

snowflake : 8 weeks

babybibibi : no babe don’t bet

detectiveprettybi : EXCUSE ME

detectiveprettybi : BRUCE WAYNE JUST OFFERED ME A BOOTY CALL??????

detectiveprettybi : WHAT THE FUCK

oliverqueer : HAPPY BIRTHDAY




detectiveprettybi : WHAT

detectiveprettybi : YOU DID THIS?

babybibibi : we only made it so that you guys could talk

pipes : yeah the sex is all him

detectiveprettybi : BRUCE WAYNE IS ATTRACTED TO ME?

bilance : well duh

detectiveprettybi : HOLY SHIT


snowflake : CONGRATS

irisbest : god Eddie I don’t even know what to say




lesbianda : IM SCREAMING



bilance : this sure is a night to remember

transco : I love this

Chapter Text

lesbianda : it’s 2pm and we didn’t hear anything yet

transco : it’s not two yet I still have to suffer through eight whole minutes here

irisbest : poor you

irisbest : in other news yesterday really helped so Bar might come back online soon

pipes : yes!!!

snowflake : I’m so happy

oliverqueer : god me too

oliverqueer : look at this

oliverqueer : [link attached]

lesbianda : im straight for Clark Kent suddenly

pipes : we all know youre gay for his gf

lesbianda : but he IS quite attractive objectively

oliverqueer : That he is

oliverqueer : he has a dog!

babybibibi : a pretty man with a dog?

oliverqueer : apparently he and Bruce take their dogs on playdates

pipes : that’s so precious what the fuck

snowflake : I fell in love

babybibibi : i cant even be mad bc me too

transco : [gif attached]

pipes : frozen…. really cisquito

transco : it’s a classic

transco : it starrs idina menzel and this dude who was on crazy ex

irisbest : if my life were a tv show i’d want it to run on the cw

lesbianda : nah it never has enough gays

oliverqueer : true

snowflake : back to the topic so is eddie still busy with bruce

oliverqueer : i guess

babybibibi : i can’t believe we gave him this after the bomb he blew on us

pipes : yeah like not even i got any since his birthday

lesbianda : harsh cisco

transco : it’s mostly bc we’ve both been busy but sure let him think it’s on purpose

detectiveprettybi : guys im so fucking sore

babybibibi : woah tmi

irisbest : like thats tmi in here

bilance : yeah eddie we need more

oliverqueer : did you like put an alarm or something

bilance : nah ive been reading along the whole night

pipes : don’t you have bette things to do like sleep or sex

bilance : the guy who doesn’t have a sleep pattern calls me out for being awake at half past two, that’s rich

pipes : not any more

detectiveprettybi : i cant even describe what this night was but it changed my life

detectiveprettybi : and seriously i have night patrol and ill die

bilance : how often did you die last night

detectiveprettybi : so often

detectiveprettybi : and this morning

detectiveprettybi : and oh probably now again

babybibibi : is he serious

transco : probably

pipes : only edward thawne i swear

irisbest : so he’s gonna keep having sex with bruce wayne until he has to be cramped into a small car with my dad

irisbest : so many words in this sentence that should not go together

snowflake : rip iris

pipes : it seems like a very eddie thing to do

oliverqueer : yeah it does

bilance : i hope eddie is thinking of us all

heatwave : sure hope not

heatwave : worst orgy ever

transco : bc you wouldnt be a physical part of it?

heatwave : xactly

babybibibi : makes sense

bilance : so im guessing bruce wayne is a good lay

snowflake : are you surprised by that

irisbest : not everyone with a pretty face is good at sex cait

lesbianda : a rule that even applies to women

transco : sad

pipes : i feel like bruce can teach eddie a thing or two

irisbest : and he already knows so much

babybibibi : eye emoji

bilance : eye emoji

snowflake : eye emoji

irisbest : smirk emoji

transco : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

heatwave : imma hook up with him

pipes : with bruce wayne?

heatwave : that too

transco : with EDDIE?

lesbianda : we’re fulfilling too many dreams of his lately

oliverqueer : mick i thought you didn’t like cops

heatwave : good point

babybibibi : oliver back in the game of ruining people’s lives

oliverqueer : wtf i have nEVER ruined ppl’s lives

irisbest : protection squad activated

pipes : iris and linda make better bodyguards than dig

bilance : ill tell him that

transco : i know he got one when we started dating but a black eye is not a good look for hart

pipes : tf everything’s a good look for me

babybibibi : ehhh

snowflake : well

lesbianda : actually

transco : cariño,,

pipes : okay? Rude.

transco : ill show exactly what is a good look for you

pipes : hmmm

bilance : have fun fucking imma go to sleep

irisbest : do you think eddie is keeping an eye on the clock

heatwave : no they’re on something that rhymes with that

oliverqueer : nice one

irisbest : im just saying it’s almost 5 at this point

babybibibi : when does the shift start

irisbest : 7

lesbianda : yeah he should probably stop banging

snowflake : not it

babybibibi : not it

lesbianda : not it

heatwave : not it

oliverqueer : not it

irisbest : damn you all

lesbianda : maybe they’ll let you hear something


oliverqueer : rip

Chapter Text

pipes : did it work

irisbest : it is now 11pm and you’re asking NOW if i got them to stop having sex

pipes : yeah well i only just stopped so

transco : liar you slept until now

pipes : betrayed,,,

babybibibi : yeah he does that

irisbest : Yeah I did get him to go to work

irisbest : and he did not even let me talk to Bruce >:/

transco : cruel

snowflake : can you believe classes start again tomorrow

irisbest : ha mine only start next week bc it’s Orientation for the newbies

pipes : wish that were me

transco : you only have three classes this semester

babybibibi : i have two and then 5 of Wells’s

snowflake : I don’t want to talk about it

lesbianda : i have two but also a whole foundation to advertise

detectiveprettybi : hey are y’all alright

transco : yes?

bilance : ya busy with yoga

detectiveprettybi : this was mostly at The west fam

irisbest : Yeah? Why are you asking

detectiveprettybi : well we got called off patrol

snowflake : does that happen often?

irisbest : no never

bilance : only when it’s something important and/or personal

irisbest : yeah no we’re all at home?

detectiveprettybi : okay

irisbest : well dad just called Wally and asked the same thing

detectiveprettybi : ok we’re driving back now I just got to ask my loved ones

transco : cute

snowflake : what is happening

heatwave : got a feeling

lesbianda : wait is Snart home?

heatwave : nope

pipes : oh shit

pipes : what did he do

irisbest : i guess we’ll find out

babybibibi : are you gonna tell Bar?

irisbest : Tell them what we don’t know anything

irisbest : plus it’s the day before uni start I sure as hell ain’t gonna worry them more

snowflake : I feel like they’d want to know

transco : yeah think if they kept a big secret from you bc they thought you were better off without it

pipes : you’d be sooo pissed

detectiveprettybi : i swear to god

detectiveprettybi : Snart got drunk and into a fight

detectiveprettybi : and now he’s rude to West

heatwave : for fucks sake

detectiveprettybi : what was his fight with Bar about

heatwave : no fucking idea

irisbest : he said he thinks henry did kill bar’s mom

heatwave : WHAT

heatwave : nah

irisbest : he did

heatwave : he sure as hell aint thinking that

heatwave : the guy doesn’t trust anyone so he wouldnt have said he thinks henry’s innocent if he doesnt truly believe that

detectiveprettybi : iris do you know more

irisbest : no

transco : add bar back to the chat

irisbest : i dont think that’s so wise

heatwave : full offense this is serious and i want to know the background

bilance : holy shit mick is pissed


irisbest added spACEbar to the chat


irisbest : short summary snart got drunk and punched someone now he’s at the station and mick wants to know what the fuck happened between you guys

pipes : we all wanna know

spACEbar : snart did WHAT now

spACEbar : WHAT

heatwave : spill the beans

spACEbar : we fought when i asked why he went to visit his father and then he said at least he knows his is trash. So then i left

heatwave : wtf snart didnt visit his old man

spACEbar : you didnt know???

heatwave : like hell

heatwave : wouldnt have let him act like he did if i knew what triggered it

snowflake : wait triggered??

detectiveprettybi : holy shit

heatwave : are you fucing kidding me

heatwave : are yall so fucking stupid and selfish that you cant even think

transco : i

transco : /what/

heatwave : theres a frickin reason why snart wishes to be an orphan but sure yall think its a joke

heatwave : im going to the station now

spACEbar : me too

spACEbar : i mean i knew he was on edge bc he saw his dad but

spACEbar : god i was such an idiot

lesbianda : fuck

pipes : oh my god we really are the worst

irisbest : im such an asshole

irisbest : i should have realized

bilance : GUYS okay calm down

bilance : you all didn’t even fucking know what snart has been up to before

bilance : so there’s no way you could have figured out anything

detectiveprettybi : shit

detectiveprettybi : so joe knows now

irisbest : joe knows WHAT

detectiveprettybi : that i know yall

pipes : what

detectiveprettybi : i went to talk to joe and calm him down bc dude is he pissed at snart

detectiveprettybi : so i swiped in and said something must be up

detectiveprettybi : and basically blurted out that i know the guy

detectiveprettybi : and then….

transco : shit

irisbest : but you didnt tell him we hooked up

detectiveprettybi : i vALUE my life

lesbianda : what’d he say

detectiveprettybi : he just opened and closed his mouth at me

detectiveprettybi : and now bar is here

bilance : i seriously did not see this day going like this

detectiveprettybi : mick is here

snowflake : so

snowflake : snart is in trouble with the police

snowflake : joe knows that eddie knows his kids

snowflake : eddie’s slept with bruce wayne

snowflake : hartley and eddie are moving in together

snowflake : this semester is off to a good start

transco : we’ve gone from mess to disaster

oliverqueer : are you kidding me

oliverqueer : i leave you guys alone for a few hours and chaos ensues

bilance : it can only get better from here

babybibibi : lets see