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Desire

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She felt him before she saw him. His presence had always done that to her, sent goosebumps down her arms, made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, sent a shiver down her spine when he walked into a room. Her heart rate quickened once she realized he was there and she sat up straighter in her chair, pressing her thighs together as the ache started to grow between them. She didn’t know how or why he had this affect on her, it had started before she had let him take her, and it was worse now that he had done so. No matter how wrong it was, no matter how much she knew she shouldn’t, she couldn’t help herself. He was in her now, in every cell, every beat of her heart. He had marked her, claimed her, and she was his now no matter how she tried to fight it.

She heard his foot steps behind her, felt his presence coming closer and she tensed. She looked around nervously, but didn’t dare look behind her to where she knew he was. They were in the back corner of the Avengers Headquarters research center, out of ear and eye shot, encased in two large bookshelves squaring off the area and granting only one way into it. It wasn’t immediately noticeable, but anyone who cared to look between the shelves could see them. She always went there to work, to be alone, to think, and he knew that.

It was the first place that he had kissed her, that he had pressed her into the wall, lifting her thigh to his side with his metal arm. Bucky please. He hadn’t stopped then because he knew, he had always known, how much she wanted him. How much she needed him.

Let’s stop lying to ourselves sugar,” he had breathed against her lips. “You want it. I want it. It’s all I can think about.”

The thought of the way she had let him take her against the very wall she was sitting in front of her sent tingles shooting up her core. She felt him come up behind her, felt the coolness of metal as he brushed his fingers across her bare shoulder. She shivered in response, unable to stop the reaction, finally turning to look up at him. Blue eyes stared down at her, dark hair framing his face. A black long sleeved t-shirt covered broad shoulders and dark jeans adorned his legs. She felt heat rush through her.

“Hey sugar,” he said softly, reaching for her face.

She mustered up the resistance to dodge his touch, sliding out of her chair, putting space between them. “Bucky, I told you I needed some space.”

He sighed, taking a step towards her. “I know, sugar, but I needed to see you.” Another step.

She backed away from him, feeling that pull to him, the desire to be in his arms, feel his mouth on her skin. The cold touch of his metal hand that she surprisingly enjoyed. She shook her head. No. No. No. “We can’t,” she breathed. There was no conviction in her voice, even she didn’t believe herself.

His lips formed a hard line. “Charlie-.”

“Bucky,” she countered cutting him off. “We can’t. We just can’t. We’ve done enough. If we keep doing this…if we keep…” she shook her head struggling to say the words. “We’ll hurt Steve…more than we already have,” she finished with a soft sigh.

He said nothing.

“You have to go,” she said quietly, avoiding eye contact. She couldn’t look at him. She couldn’t lose herself like she had all the times before. “Please,” she added in a pleading whimper. She knew she wasn’t strong enough to resist him if he decided to not listen to her.



Bucky sighed, his head dropping, hands going to his hips. He knew she was right. Steve was his best friend, he had rescued him from the darkness, had always been there for him. And Bucky was in love with his girlfriend. Madly, deeply, in love. He had tried to resist her, had tried to tell himself that it was wrong, but even then as he stood before her, listening to her tell him that they couldn’t, he wanted to. He wanted to take hold of her, press her into that wall again, kiss her till her knees went weak and seek out the heaven between her legs.

He almost listened. He almost turned and walked out of the research center, wanting to do the right thing. But he couldn’t. His legs wouldn’t move anywhere, but towards her. She backed up as he approached, eyes wide and panicked, lips parted as if she were trying to speak, but nothing would come out. Her back hit the wall with a small thud and her eyes looked past him nervously, looking to see if anyone had heard. She put her hands up, right on his chest, her touch sending fire through him. He bit back a groan and took her by the waist, pulling her against him. She trembled in response, but didn’t push him away. He knew she wouldn’t. Couldn’t.

“Bucky,” she whimpered.

He should have been ashamed at the thrill that rushed through him at her whimpers. He loved to hear her moan, beg, plead, whimper and whine. Especially when it was a result of his touch, his kiss, his tongue. He didn’t feel alive unless he was in her arms, or between her legs, tongue deep and feeling her fingers grip locks of his hair; hearing her moan his name was something he didn’t want to live without.

“We can’t,” she protests again, even weaker than before. Despite her words she makes no other move to stop him.

“I need to have you,” he groaned against her lips.

He kisses her hard, pulling her tightly against him, feeling her melt into him. She kisses him back, heatedly, hungrily, fingers digging into flesh. He pulls away from her mouth with a hiss when her hand finds his hair and grips a fistful hard and at the root. She knows what that does to him. And she’s clearly changed her mind now, reaching down and hiking up her skirt for easier access to where she wants him most. He takes her thigh in his flesh hand, pulling her leg up against his side, pressing his upper thigh right up to her center pinning her between himself and the wall, eliciting the most delicious moan from her throat. 

None of this was his initial plan. He really had just come to see her, to try and talk, to sort through this mess they had made, but now it was the furthest thing from his mind. But he can’t take her in the research center, not today, it was unusually busy that morning with other agents and administrative staff milling about. He didn’t want her in a hurried, quiet rush. He wanted her slow, uninhibited, loud and gushing. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his urges, holding himself back from saying ‘screw it’ and ripping off her clothes and taking her for anyone to see or hear.

But he wants to make her cum, wants to hear more of those breathy moans and sighs from her full lips and know that its because of him.

His releases one of her hips, sliding his hand down the front of her skirt, slip between flesh and material until he found warmth. Two fingers slip into her wet heat, feeling her walls tighten around his fingers on contact, and he almost loses control. He begins to move them in and out, slowly, teasingly, creating just enough friction to set her body on course for orgasm, but not get her there. She pulses around his fingers, her hips working themselves on his hand, trying to set the pace. He’s getting lost in the warmth of her, the throb of her on his fingers, and feels his control crumbling. He tenses and turns his attentions instead to her pouty lips that were parted, her dark eyes that had drifted close, the goosebumps prickling on her caramel skin. He knows despite his slow pace shes so close already, moments away from unraveling right before his very eyes, her movements becoming more urgent.

“James,” she moaned. “Please…”

His teeth clenched. He loved to hear her say his real name. It always sent him in a frenzy, amplifying his own desire. His erection, pressed uncomfortably against his zipper, flexed at her words. His grip on her hip tightened and he sped up his movements, creating more friction, pushing her closer to the edge. She lets out a loud groan, one he’s certain that everyone in the research center has heard. His metal hand moves to her mouth quickly, but gently to muffle her mewling.

“Come on honey, cum for me,” he urged in a husky whisper, lips pressed to her ear. “Let me feel it.”

Her thighs tightened around his hand at his words, and he longs to have something else besides his hand between them, his own arousal getting harder to ignore. He wanted to swipe his arm across the table, knocking off her laptop, books, and papers, to make room so that he could bend her over, lift that skirt even higher and bury himself so deep in her. He longed to feel the pulse of her from within, slip into the wetness until she was shuddering around him, groaning his name over and over and over. It was all he thought about day and night lately, he craved it like food or drink or air. Those thoughts alone had gotten him through many a sleepless night when he was alone in his apartment, his hand his only companion and comfort. He lived for these secret rendezvous, where he could have her, feel her, taste her.

Good afternoon, Captain Rogers. You’re back from your mission early.”

Bucky’s ears perked at the receptionists voice off in the distance, greeting his friend. Shit. Charlie heard it as well. Her eyes snapping open, her body freezing. Her eyes widened and she tried to push away from him, but he held her firm. He had a task to complete and he would do so before Rogers found them. He picked up the rhythm again, keeping his hand over her mouth, muffling her protests and curses. The receptionist, Jessica, was Charlie’s friend. She knew Steve well. And Bucky knew Steve, he would stand there making polite chit chat with Jessica, he wouldn’t be rude. Captain Rogers didn’t have it in him to be rude.

“I said cum for me, honey,” Bucky ordered quietly, staring intently into her almond eyes. “I ain’t stopping till you do.”



Steve is here. Steve is here. Steve is here.

He was supposed to be away on a mission, not returning for another week, he had already been gone a month. He had come home early, and he was going to find her pinned against the wall, humping his best friends fingers like a horny teenager in the darkened back corner of the library. She tried to push Bucky off, but he hadn’t moved, it was like trying to push a brick wall.

I said come for me, honey,” he said against her, his look too intense for her to break his gaze. “I ain’t stopping till you do.”

And she knew he meant it. And it turned her on more than she cared to admit. The thrill of being caught any second, now amplified by the fact that her boyfriend was in the same room chatting with her friend made it even hotter. So much hotter that she didn’t stop him when he started to work her against him again, speeding up this time, working against the clock.

Hey Jessica,” she heard Steve reply to the receptionist, still far away. Still giving them more time. “The mission was a success. We finished earlier than expected.”

Her eyes rolled at the sensations rushing through her, her inner walls clenching tighter on his fingers.

I bet you’re glad to be back home after being away for so long. I know Charlie missed you,” Jessica replied.

Her clit was swollen and aching longing to be touched, Bucky’s thumb gladly obliged as if he had read her mind, circling the nub as his fingers still worked her in and out and in and out.

She heard Steve sigh. “Yes, yes it’s very good to be home. I’ve been away from my girl for too long.”

She begged Bucky for release, but it came out muffled against his palm. She was so close. Right there. Right there.

“That’s it. Be a good girl,” Bucky growled against her lips. “Cum for me right now.”

She exploded at his words, shuddering on his fingers. She couldn’t help the loud moan she let out and was thankful that Bucky still had his metal hand pressed to her mouth to stifle it. She slumped against the wall, heart pounding, panting. Bucky stood there, breathing heavily as well, keeping her upright.

She is here. She’s in her spot in the back. I think Bucky is with her,” Jessica said, snapping her out of her post orgasm high. She had missed the part of the conversation where Steve had asked if she was there.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

She pushed Bucky away hard, forcing him two steps backward, as she pulled her skirt down and righted it. Bucky adjusted his neglected erection, pulling it up toward the waist band of his pants to hide its presence under his shirt. Charlie found herself watching as he did it, licking her lips at the sight, making Bucky look at her with lust filled eyes.

NO.

She shook the dirty thoughts from her head when she heard approaching footsteps, sitting in her chair frantically making sure her clothes were right.

Bucky slid into the chair opposite her, grabbing one of the books she had on the table and opening it to the middle, crossing his arms over and placing them on the table while he gazed at the book acting engaged in it.

She opened her laptop, thankful her work was still open and placed her hands on the keyboard, finished the sentence that she had been typing before Bucky had come.

“Charlie.”

She tensed at the sound of her name coming from Steve’s mouth, taking a quick and deep nerve calming breath before turning to find him approaching her. He was still in his Captain America gear, a dozen roses in one hand, he must have come straight from the plane to find her. Her heart swelled at the sight of him, it always had, she did love him, but the guilt sat heavy in her stomach. She forced a surprised smile onto her face, jumping from her seat and running to meet him before he entered her little hide away. He caught her as she leaped into his arms, kissing him, unable to stop herself from thinking: does he taste Bucky? If he did, he showed no signs of it, his mouth taking in hers hungrily before she pulled away for air, blushing and breathless.

“I missed you so much,” he said softly, pressing his forehead to hers.

She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. “I missed you too.” She hugged him tighter. She had. She really had. Everything had been much simpler before he left.

“These are for you,” he smiled, handing her the roses. “I had the team make a special stop just to pick them up.”

“Thank you,” she breathed in their smell. “They’re beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful,” he countered.

She blushed looking up into his bright eyes and the guilt grew.

Behind them someone cleared their throat and she turned to find Bucky now standing, leaning against the edge of the shelves, a strained smile on his face. Steve’s face lit up at the sight of his friend. “Bucky, hey,” he said releasing her. Steve moved to hug his friend, she noticed how Bucky kept his waist away from Steve. “It’s good to see you man. How is the adjustment going?”

He was referring to Bucky’s adjustment to living in modern society and getting accustomed to the 21st century, which had been her assignment. She was supposed to help him with anything he needed, teach him the ways of society and about technology, as well as protect him. (As if the winter soldier needed protection) It was why they had been spending so much time together. And why Steve wouldn’t be suspicious of them together. She had taken the assignment for Steve, he had to practically beg her to accept it, but she had knowing how important it was to him that his best friend acclimated, that his best friend be a part of the team, that his best friend be okay. And she had spent the last month that he was away sleeping with his best friend.

“It’s good,” Bucky said clapping Steve on the shoulder. “Thanks to Charlie I know how to work a microwave and feed myself. She has taught me a lot. I don’t know what I would do without her.” His gaze turned to her and she felt her cheeks flush.

Steve smiled at her adoringly, moving back to her to wrap his arm around her waist. “Neither do I, Buck. Neither do I. Were you guys doing something important? Or can I steal my best girl for awhile?” He asked looking between them.

Bucky opened his mouth to speak and Charlie felt panic rush her, afraid that he would say they were busy, that they had more ‘work’ to do. She knew what would happen- continue- if they were left alone.

“I am free,” she blurted making them both look at her in surprise. “We were just…just….going over social media. Something Bucky definitely isn’t ready for. But we can take a break,” she turned her attention fully to Steve, pressing her hands on his chest, leaning into him. “I missed you. I want to spend time with you. Tell me about the mission? How was it? Did you get the job done? Are you hungry?”

Bucky frowned at her. She avoided his gaze. Steve blinked at her rambling of questions.

“The mission was successful. And I am starved, but I am also in desperate need of running water. I haven’t had a decent shower in weeks,” Steve sighed. “So I just want to go back to my apartment and take advantage of hot running water first.” He leaned into her, his lips brushing her forehead. “Care to join me?”

She blushed at his words, glancing quickly at Bucky’s whose frown deepened. “Steve…” she breathed looking up at him.

Steve’s brow furrowed and then looked at Bucky, catching his frown and misinterpreting it as disgust. “Oh, sorry Bucky, that’s probably way more than you want to hear.”

Bucky straightened, looking tense. “It’s fine. I know you haven’t seen each other in a long time. I have some stuff to do. We’ll catch up later…” he said beginning to walk around them. He paused and turned back, catching her gaze. “Charlie?”

She hesitated. “Yes?”

“Thank you…for everything…” he said softly.

Her heart burst in her chest. “You’re welcome, James.”

He held her gaze for a few seconds longer before turning and walking out of sight. She watched him go, trying to suppress the feeling of needing to go after him. She couldn’t. She was with Steve. She wanted Steve. Do I? Do I really?

“Wow,” Steve commented. “He let you call him James. You two must have really hit off while I was gone.”

Oh they had.

“Let’s go,” she said taking him by the hand and trying to feel anything that she felt when Bucky took her by the hand.

She sourly found that she didn’t.