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Too Soon to Say Goodbye

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When he left you that day, you had every faith you would see him again. You had every faith that he would return to you as usual, sweep you off your feet and show you how much he had missed you while he was away. He had been acting the same as he always had when he prepared for what would face him ahead; he walked with his usual confidence, cracking jokes about how he would return to you as the unsung hero of the day. When he kissed you, there was an urgency, a passion that left you with an unsaid goodbye, just in case something would go wrong- but this goodbye never had been needed before. Leaving you on Midgard after Odin died was the best way he could try to keep you safe before the possibility of Ragnarok and wrath of Hela could be faced. He left you there, both of you expecting to see one another not too long after. You never would’ve guessed when you saw his brother once more, his face would be painted with regret.

Time passed, as it usually did, before the next time Thor would come face to face with you. It had been weeks, but you had been around long enough to know that things take time. Hearing about all that had happened with the Avengers in Wakanda, how people were turning to dust, you didn’t know what was going on, which added to your worries for Loki. A genuine smile found itself on your lips when you saw the god of thunder again, this worrying could finally end when you would see the man you loved walking right beside his brother, returning to you. But Loki wasn’t beside him, nor behind him. Thor stood, battered and bruised, alone. “Lady Kirsten.” Thor lamented, a pained expression streaking across his face. As you heard the words that would follow right after, it felt as though time had frozen around you. Thanos had intercepted the ship that held the remaining people of Asgard who had survived Hela, knowing Loki had the tesseract, the infinity stone, hidden away. Loki saved Thor, giving up the infinity stone when he couldn’t stand to see his brother tortured, before attacking Thanos himself, and being murdered. As Thor explained what events happened after, you drowned out all he was saying, your mind stuck on the thought of him really being gone, how it was said that there would be no more resurrections for him.

You had all thought he died time and time again before, how could they know it was true this time? How could Thanos know it was really him, not some illusion, which he had done away with? Your mind was spinning with what-if’s, trying to deny what Thor had told you, trying to wake up from this living nightmare. You didn’t care what happened to the nine realms if Loki was not there within them, there with you. If Loki was gone, what meaning did life have now for you? Through the numbness you had previously felt, you finally began to feel the icy grips of grief sinking in. You didn’t know what to do, how to move on without him, but you knew deep down that he wouldn’t want you to give up completely, no matter how much you felt like you needed to. Then, before you knew it, time passed once more. The Avengers had found a way to defeat Thanos. They were using the infinity stones to reverse time and undo most of what had been done, though, you were told that still, your love, was gone. No matter what they tried, they still could not reverse what had been done to him. The words ‘no resurrections’ played across your mind endlessly, the loss of what slight hope you had left finally setting in.

Deep in thought, you didn’t hear the steps of someone coming up behind you. You were only broken out of your thoughts when you felt familiar arms wrap around you, pulling you back against them. “Surprise, my love.” In your confusion you flinched back, eyes snapping open to see Loki, standing there with a smirk on his face. “But… They said they couldn’t bring you back, I don’t understand”, you marveled, staring at him in astonishment. “You can’t bring back what was never gone in the first place, Kirsten.” As he said this, Loki came forward, taking your hands in his as he captured your lips in a fervent kiss that left you gasping as you pulled away, all the while trying to make sure this was no daydream within your grieving process. Finally, he began to tell you of what had transpired on the ship from his point of view, and how he had worked with Heimdall to create an illusion and get himself out while trying to aid the Avengers in defeating Thanos. Whatever he had done had worked, as Thanos was finally dead and he was able to come back to you with barely a scratch, as did all the people who turned to dust due to Thanos’ plan. “I never want to live in a world without you again, Loki”, you mumbled that night, his arms securely wrapped around your waist as you lay in bed, talking of all that had happened while you were apart. “Never again will you have to, darling, I promise you this.”