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Let Go

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Lou was sitting in the backyard, kicking at used solo cups on the lawn. There was a party going on inside the house, lights flashing and music blaring so loud he could feel the vibrations beneath his feet. He had managed to escape the swarm of loud people inside and come out here, where it was nice and quiet. To be honest, Lou hadn’t wanted to even come to this party, but Zeek had forced him too. Zeek . On that note, he should probably make sure he hadn’t broken his neck or anything. But just upon thinking about that, there he was, laughing and running towards him.

“Hey, Lou!” he said as he flopped down next to him, eyes wide, smile wider. Well, at least he wasn’t dead. Lou only looked at him, then back down at the ground, much to Zeek’s apparent unliking. “Hey,” he said, nudging his foot, “why are you being such a Debbie-downer?” He kept nudging his foot, saying, “Huh?” over and over until Lou kicked his foot away. “I’m fine,” he said, annoyed. Hell, it hadn’t even been five seconds and the kid was already getting on his nerves.

Suddenly, the house grew quiet. Both Zeek and Lou looked up. Everyone was coming out onto the back lawn, couples holding hands and people talking in low voices. Lights switched on in the trees, white lights strung across the limbs, illuminating the backyard in a cool, mellow light. “What’s…?” Lou began before Zeek interrupted him. “Slow song, dingus.” It was only now Lou noticed the soft music in the house and the lights inside turning red as they shined out of the windows. “Why are they coming out here?” Lou asked, but the younger just rolled his eyes.

“What do you think? There’s no room in the house for fifty people to slow dance at once,”  he replied, legs swinging on the bench as he surveyed the crowd. As Lou watched, girls buried their faces into the guy's shoulders, or simply wrapped their arms around their necks and stared at them. There was barely any movement; the only thing that was happening was them swaying back and forth. Lou shook his head, chuckling. “What?” Zeek asked as Lou glanced at him.

“They're not even dancing,” he said, gesturing. “They’re just...swaying.” Zeek laughed, shaking his head. “Sorry to break it to you, but this isn’t the 1900’s anymore. We don’t professionally dance around the backyard,” he giggled, Lou reaching over and shoving him, saying, “Fuck off.” A long silence stretched between them before Zeek jumped up suddenly. “Well, I might as well teach you how to dance,” he said, grinning down at him, “since you’re so old you don’t know how to anymore.” Lou rolled his eyes, looking at the ground. He turned his head to see Zeek still standing there, hand out.

“You’re serious,” Lou said, and the teen nodded. Then he went in front of him, holding out his hand again, bowing slightly and saying, “Madam.” Lou shoved his hand away, Zeek laughed as he stood up. “I cannot believe I’m doing this,” Lou muttered as he stood in front of the teen, waiting. “Okay!” Zeek began, clapping his hands together, “welcome to How to Dance Like a Millenial 101!” He thought for a moment before grabbing Lou’s wrists. “Okay, so you put your hands here...” Zeek instructed, positioning Lou’s hands on his waist, “...just like that. Perfect!” He then looked up, clapping. “You’re doing great so far!” The older just sighed and laughed.

“Alright, now I just put my arms around you like this,” Zeek said, wrapping his arms around Lou’s neck, shifting slightly closer to do so. “And then we just -- what did you call it? Swaying? And now we just sway.” Lou watched the teen’s movements, following along until they were just shifting back and forth. “There you go!” Zeek said, laughing. “Now you know how to dance like a normal person!” But Lou was barely listening to him now. “You’re awful close,” he commented. So close, in fact, he could feel Zeek’s body heat. “Well, yeah,” Zeek said, shrugging, “that’s kind of the point.”

For a moment, he looked at Zeek, thinking about how good he looked in this lighting. Of course, Lou had thought about Zeek this way before, but only a very few select times. He had always managed to push himself away from weirdo territory before his mind got carried away. But for some reason, he refused to stray away from the trickle of ideas that were now entering his train of thought. It was throwing him off; he wasn’t used to having feelings, and human emotions were so complex it was hard to understand what these jumble of thoughts were.

He was also having a hard time controlling those thoughts. “So,” Lou said, “when do you stop?” Zeek thought for a moment, then shrugged again. “Whenever you want, really,” he replied, pausing for a moment. “But the polite thing to do is wait until the song ends.” Wait until the song ends. The words echoed in his mind as he tried not to scream.

Lou took a deep breath in, saying, “I see.” For a moment, there was silence. Then Zeek started talking about something, but Lou was too focused on trying not to shake to pieces. What was wrong with him? They were so close together; he could feel Zeek’s breath and his heartbeat; he found himself staring into those dark eyes, glittering under the soft lighting, and he just looked so...No. It took everything Lou had to not yank him closer, to wrap his arms around his waist, to keep himself from losing himself in Zeek’s eyes, to keep himself from-

Suddenly, the song ended. Couples pulled apart, and people were quiet. They all began to file back inside the house. Zeek stared after them, and so did Lou. “Okay, cool,” Zeek said finally, blowing out a sigh. “So, now all you have to do is…” he trailed off before looking up. “Let go.”

And that’s exactly what Lou did.

He didn’t do so physically. Instead of letting go of Zeek’s waist, he pulled him closer. He did wrap his arms around his waist. He did lose himself in Zeek wide eyes. “Uhm,” the teen stuttered, a nervous laugh coming from him, “okay, I guess you don’t have to.” They continued to sway back and forth as Zeek nervously spoke. “You know, this is just great, just fine and dandy,” he said, his voice an octave higher than usual. “I just love this. You know, dancing and swaying and stuff, especially with my friend, you know it’s just so great.”

Lou remained silent, only stared. “I, uh, this is the greatest, I have nothing against this,” the nervous teen continued, “this is just fine. Swaying is just the best.” He stopped for a moment, and that’s when they both stopped moving. “So, funny thing, this --” Zeek began again, but Lou pressed his finger to his lips. He instantly went silent again, eyes still wide, a light blush covering his cheeks.



“Do me a favor.”

“What’s that?”

Zeek’s face flushed darker as Lou’s hand drifted from his lips to his chin, tilting his head up until their eyes met. “Shut up.”

Complete silence came between them, and Lou could feel Zeek’s heart beat faster. His hand seemed to be glued his chin, rubbing his bottom lip with his thumb as he tried to count how many lights were shining in his eyes. Lou had never let these human emotions dictate his decisions; he had known better than to let it happen. Now he was wondering why he didn’t do it more often. The flush of emotions that rushed through him was better than any kind of drug. He couldn’t even decipher them all; they were there and they made his limbs jittery and his head swirl and his face heat up just slightly.

And that’s when it happened. His emotions dictated his logic, and his head bent down, and his lips were pressing into Zeek’s. He could feel the teen tense up under the sudden affection, eyes widening and shoulders shooting up to his ears. The hands on the back of Lou’s neck tightened their grip. It remained that way for a few seconds before Zeek graciously returned the affection. It was completely evident that he had kissed people before. Huh. The one thing he could do right.

The lights in the house were flashing, and the loud music started blaring again, but Lou was deaf to it. He was too busy losing himself in the feel of those lips, tasting them. The moment couldn’t have lasted more than a few minutes, but it felt like forever.

When he finally did pull away, Lou was incredibly dizzy, and he couldn’t stop smiling. Zeek looked surprised, his face flushed red as he turned his head away. His arms went from around Lou’s neck to his arms, pausing when he neared his wrists. “Um-” Zeek began, but Lou interrupted him when he reached up to turn his head back towards him. He only hummed, staring at his violent magenta cheeks as he pushed a strand of hair out of his face.


“U-Uh, yeah?”

Lou grinned at the prospect of his next words, and as he said them, Zeek’s face grew impossibly hotter, and his head nodded ever so slightly as Lou pressed his lips against his forehead.

“You’re mine.”