I haven’t been home since the accident. Once summer started I asked mom if I can stay with my father’s sister, my aunt who resides in Tondc. I did ask her if I could go before summer but the answer was no, that I had to finish my junior year here. I was there at Tondc for three months, I changed mentally and physically, I guess guilt does that to a person. Unlike my twin sister Clarke, my usual blonde hair is black just like my clothes, my skin is also darker too. I have more muscle than her too but that is because I am the captain of the lacrosse team. I also have three piercings, my eyebrow and my lip (snake bites).
Mom picked me up at the airport. It's the night before senior year. No one but my mom and the staff at Trikru High knows I come home tonight. I didn’t want to tell anyone, you’d think I would want to tell my sister and my best friends, but I can't face them just yet. Mom also doesn't like my piercings, I guess I shouldn't show her my tattoos. Hey, I’m 18 my body.
We got home and I tiptoed to my room. Everything was how I left my bed messy, my lacrosse gear in the corner, everything except my dog's Carlos, a 6 month old dalmatian and Evie, a 1-year-old golden retriever, they must be with Raven. Clarke is a cat person, you know artists, which is what she named her cat, Art, a little black and orange kitten it's cute for a cat.
The nightmare came back waking me up at 5 in the morning. No use in going back to sleep, so I read for an hour then took a shower. After I got done taking a shower, I got dressed in all black, a tank top that shows off my sleeve tattoos on my right arm wolves running to their alpha who is on my shoulder, on my left arm a griffin with footsteps following it and feathers here and there, leather jacket to get past my mom right now, skinny jeans, and leather combat boots. While I was tying my boots I heard mom and Raven wake up and go downstairs. Then I heard the Blake twins, Bellamy and Octavia come inside. As they came in Octavia and Raven said good morning very loudly at the same time and laughing (at least some things didn’t change) while I heard the muffled voices of mom talking to Bellamy.
“Hey, momma Griff is Jayjay back yet?” Raven asked hopefully.
“Go see for yourself Ray.” mom laughed.
I know for a fact that after mom said that Raven and Octavia looked at each other with huge smiles on their faces then raced to my room as mom and Bellamy laughed at them. While I waited for them to barge into my room I stood in the middle of my room with my messenger bag hanging over my shoulder. A minute later they came bursting through the door. The first thing that I notice is the brace on Raven’s left leg. They started to walk toward me to give a hug but I backed away. I tried not to look at their hurt faces as guilt shown on mine. After a few moments of silence Octavia spoke.
“I'm going to wake up Clarke.” she said backing away from the awkwardness.
Raven was looking at me while I was trying to look everywhere but her.
“Jayden look at me.” she pleaded.
I did slowly.
“What the fuck did you do to your face?” she smirked.
“What? You don't like them?” I asked smiling a little though a little sad.
“Its new,” she laughed. “I never thought your face could get any uglier.” she said sarcastically.
“Shut up you love my face.” I laughed forcefully.
“Yeah I do.” she sighed.
“Ow! Fuck O!” we heard Clarke yell.
“Clarke’s up.” Octavia said walking past my room laughing.
Raven started to laugh.
“She doesn’t know I'm back.” I stated.
She nodded and headed for the door. She looked back when she realized that I wasn't following.
“Come on or do I have to blow you up to get you walkin’?” she joked.
But I had a feeling she wasn’t. She started to walk to Clarke’s room and a few strides I caught up to her.
“Hey Ray Ray where are Carlos and Evie?” I asked the brunette.
“With Clarke.” she said seriously.
“Are you joking?” I looked at her quizzically. “ you have to be joking.”
She looked at me with the most serious look on her face.
“Shit, you only look that serious when you want to blow something up or take it apart.”
“For three months they have been with Clarke, it hasn't been the same without you here.” she looked down sadly.
“I’m…” I started but Raven put up her hand.
“Don't say it, you have nothing to apologize for.” she touched my shoulder as we stopped outside Clarke’s room. “ When papa griff died we understood why you left. We just wished you talked to us.” she smiled sadly.
I never want to be the reason for her to be sad again. I shook my head when I opened the door to Clarke’s room and saw her putting on a shirt.
“Octavia get out, I’m up, I’m dressed.” Clarke yells throwing a pillow at my face that I caught easily.
“Last time I checked I’m not Octavia, wrong twin sis.” I smirked as she whirled around.
“You know it's not fair that there are two sets of twins that are really hot.” Raven said walking past me.
“When did you get back and what happened to your face?” Clarke demanded.
“Nice to see you too nerd.” she glared at me. ”got back last night.” but before I could continue Carlos and Evie jumped on me knocking me down. “Hey, guys.” I said petting them.
Raven walked over to Clarke.”I asked the same thing.” she smiled at me as I laughed at my dogs attacking my face with kisses. ”she is different.”
Clarke nodded her head in agreement.
From downstairs Bellamy yells. “Time for school kids.” Octavia tells Bellamy to fuck off. We left Clarke's room and headed downstairs to meet with the Blakes. We went to our cars, I got on my bike a gift from dad and started it. I felt eyes on me, did I do something wrong? I turned and saw the four looking at me with a mixture of shocked and worried.
“What?” I asked nervously.
“Well,…you usually ask who wants to ride with you and usually Raven is the fastest to say ‘me’” Octavia explained.
“Oh...sorry I guess I forgot.”I lied.
I didn't want to admit that I am scared to have anyone ride with me.
“You didn't forget, your scared...terrified to have someone to ride with you.” Raven muttered.
I looked down guilty, man I hate this feeling.
“What happened to you Jay?” Octavia asked standing in front of Raven.
“Nothing, I’m good.” I lied again. “Who wants to ride with me?”
“I'm good.” Octavia said getting into Clarke's truck.
“Me too.” Bellamy followed his sister.
“I have my truck so I’m driving that.” Clarke said getting in the driver's side.
“Raven?” I asked looking at the brunette.
She walked over to me.”Look JayJay as much as I love riding with you, I think I’ll ride with Clarke today or until my….our Jay is back.” she said going to the passenger side of the truck.
“Whatever.” I put my helmet on and took off fast.