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Roy Mustang is Now a Verb

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Noise. Noise. Noise. Noise. NOISE!

This was all Tsuna heard. His darling guardians were all fighting again and he was finding it increasingly hard to focus on his book.

They were in the living room in their wing of the Vongola Mansion. They were visiting for the summer and Tsuna had hoped it would a nice relaxing trip. He’s realizing his mistake now.

He gripped his book slightly harder. Something shattered somewhere in front of him. A tick mark appears on his forehead. “Hey, guys!” He calls out trying to get their attention. “Guys, come on could you all just calm down a bit!” And yet no one gave him any mind. All too busy trying to punch each others lights out.

Now Tsuna is a very patient person, with the kind of people he surrounds himself with, he’d have to be.

But. Everyone has a limit. And Tsuna’s guardians have been fighting almost constantly with each other since they’d arrived in Italy three days ago.

Unfortunately for the little Don, no one was listening to him. Not even Hayato!

‘Grrrr, what am I supposed to!’ He thought to himself, clenching his book harder. He’d come in here, hoping to be able to relax a bit and just read. But, nooooooo! He can’t have a moment of peace, can he! ‘Oh! That might work.’ Tsuna slammed his book down on the coffee table in front of him and stood up. He raised his hand and snapped his fingers, releasing a stream of sky flames up in the air. Everyone froze. All the guardians look to their Sky. Tsuna’s expression is pure irritation. ‘Fuck’ is their general thought process.

“What da fuck was that?!” Mukuro eloquently shouts from where he is trying to kick Hayato off him. “He doesn’t have his gloves on!” Lambo panics.

Tsuna grinned horribly. “If you fuckers don’t shut up, I’m going to Roy Mustang all your asses.” His voice is pleasant and cheery. His grin and eyes though, they were out for blood.


And then of course Hibari, cause the crazy cloud loves to piss people off, continues to hit Yamamoto with his Tonfas.

They can all hear Tsuna’s patience finally shattering. “That’s it!” He screams. “You’re all dead!”

“Run!” Lambo screams and he and the rest of the guardians all book it out of the room. A tiny raging sky behind them, snapping his fingers and releasing stream of sky flames after stream of sky flames.

They were running down a hallway, Tsuna just a few steps from behind them, when they ran past another hallway, Xanxus and the rest of the Varia jumping back just in time to keep themselves from being trampled. “Huh?” Xanxus grunted. He looked back down the hall and saw Tsuna. As the small teen ran by him he grabbed the younger sky by the scruff of his shirt. “Oh, hi Xanxus.” Tsuna immediately relaxed, almost like a kitten being held by his scruff in his mothers mouth. Xanxus raised an eyebrow. “Cub?” Xanxus asked. He wanted to know what the fuck was going on and why Tsuna was snapping his fingers and releasing sky flames every time he snapped his fingers.

Luckily Tsuna is fluent in Xanxus and Hibari, so he got all that from just the one word. He pouts grumpily while folding his arms. “They were being annoying and weren’t listening to me.” He whined. “So I decided to Roy Mustang them.” This did not help Xanxus. “Who the fuck is Roy Mustang?” He asked confusedly.

Tsuna gasped in horror and then twisted out of Xanxus’ hold. He lands on the ground and grabs the larger man's arm dragging him away to his room. “Squalo, I’m kidnapping Xanxus.” He calls out to the rain guardian who just shrugs. “Whatever. Just don’t kill him.” Tsuna nods happily and continues to drag the larger man towards his room.

“Uh, why are you kidnapping me again Cub?” Xanxus asked, an amused smile on his face. Tsuna looks up at him happily. “ You are staying for a sleepover and we are binge watching Fullmetal Alchemist and Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. Brotherhood has a better ending but the original does a lot great too so we’ll watch em both!”

Several hours later Xanxus will agree that Edward and Alphonse were precious brilliant kids, Winry Rockbell is best girl, Riza Hawkeye is the Boss and Roy Mustang was his new Idol.

Also he may or may not want Maes Hughes to be his dad. Same goes for Tsuna.
Xanxus will not deny crying when Maes died. It doesn’t matter who you are if you do not cry during the funeral scene, you have no soul. This was proved when Tsuna showed the scene to his dad and Iemitsu didn’t shed a tear.

Elsewhere in the Vongola Mansion, Tsuna's guardians were all huddled together in silence. Hoping their sky wouldn’t find them. It takes them forty eight hours before they realise Tsuna forgot all about them.