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Drunk on Memories

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The boy was having a great day. His father took him and his best friend out on the speed boat. The three of them spent the day doing a mixture of fishing and tubing. They didn’t bother to keep any of the fish they caught, preferring to just throw them back in the water and watch them swim away. The father gave both him and his best friend a beer with a wink telling them not to tell their mothers. This is where he feels most alive out on the water. It’s his little paradise.


It was dark by the time they returned back at the house. All three of them were looking a little red from the sun, but they didn’t care. A little sunburn is so worth a day on the water. When they walked through the front door they were greeted with a sweet aroma of the boy’s mothers cooking.


Hunith made her special meatloaf with carrots and potatoes. The four of them sat at the kitchen table. The father Balinor was boosting about how his boy caught a giant catfish and was laughing about how he almost fell off the boat when it was fighting him. Meanwhile Will was stealing some of Merlin’s potatoes and smirking at how no one noticed.


It was when Hunith started grabbing the plates and bringing them to the sink that Balinor stretched his arms above his head as he spoke “well Will ya recon I take you home now?”

“I can walk”

“nonsense its dark I’ll drive you home.” He interrupted Will felling like he shouldn’t be walking that far with it being dark out. “Merl you go get a shower you smell like fish.”

“Oi! So do you” the boy shot back. His father just gave him a smile and got up to grab the keys. “Come on Will lets go.” Will followed the Balinor out the door.


Merlin went up to his room after Will and his father left to grab a change of clothes and then went to get in the shower. After getting cleaned and ready for bed, he went back down stairs. His mother was sitting in her chair watching a movie on the telly.


He walked over and sat on the couch next to her. “Has dad made it home yet?” Hunith laughed at something on the screen and replied “no sweetie he should be home anytime though.” “hmm okay,” he replied finding it strange that Balinor wasn’t back yet.


Merlin pulled out his phone and got on Instagram. Looking at his notifications he seen that Will tagged him in a picture of them sitting on the boat with the waves behind them. After liking it he scrolled through his phone for a little bit.


Merlin started to get this feeling that something was wrong. He looked at the time. They left a little over an hour ago. It should take 20 minutes to drop Will off and make it back home. Will only lives eight-minutes away, so feeling curious he calls his dad. It didn’t even ring instead a deep voice spoke “hi, um… This is uh Balinor, to what can I do for ya?”. Merlin hung up and then found Will’s name and hit call, it rang and kept ringing several times until his best friend’s voice was in his ear “Hello you reached Will, sorry I couldn’t make it to phone but leave a message.” Merlin shut his phone off. This feeling of uneasiness is growing stronger. Will always answers when I call him.


He looks at his mom and Hunith sensing her sons worry, looks at him. “Mom somethings wrong.” Not really sure what to tell him as she is feeling a sense of wrongness as well said “maybe he stopped at Walmart.” Merlin just looks at her like she decided they are going to join the circus. “I really hope so…”


They sat in that room with the telly on not really paying attention. Another hour went by painfully slowly. “Mom?” “I know dear perhaps he went to Mcdonalds?” “At 11pm?” “It’s possible” He could see the worry in her expression and hear the concern in her voice. “What do we do mom?” “Pray that he is at Mcdonalds eating french fries.”


There was a knocking sound at the door. Merlin instantly shot up and ran to the door. He wasn’t sure who would show up at 11:43pm but he wasn’t expecting to see a man wearing a sheriff outfit with a grim look on his face. “Hey son where is your mother?” Merlin looked at up at him slightly confused but non the less said “come in” and stepped aside to give him room. They barely made it through the hall when Hunith was standing there looking very pale.


“Sheriff Dale what are you doing here?” she asked. The man named Dale sighed and said in a solemn tone “hey Hunith you are going to want to sit down.” Merlin felt his heart speed up and his mother looked like she was going to faint. This can’t be happening this can’t be happening. That sense of wrongness in his chest was very quickly turning to a sense of doom.


“No,” Hunith whispered “no… This isn’t happening. Where is my husband?” You could see the worry lines all over her face. She looked like she was about to have a meltdown.


“There was an accident. The car that hit your husband’s had three teenagers. The driver was drunk and either didn’t see the red light or was unaware of it… There were no survivors.” Sheriff Dale looked like he didn’t know whether if he should try to comfort her or leave. Hunith fell to the floor wrapping her skinny arms around her legs and started sobbing.


Merlin could feel the tears sliding down his cheeks moistening his face. His heart was hurting from the pounding and he could feel the beginning of a headache coming on. “No..” Merlin whispered to himself. “My dad is gone” Ill never see him again. He cant be dead? He is always there. Will, Oh god Will did he make it home? He dreaded the thought of asking but he knows what he has to do.


“Sheriff… Was there… Was there anyone else in my, my dad’s car?” The man looked torn and like he wasn’t sure if he should answer the question. But one look into the boy’s eyes and he sighed knowing he couldn’t deny him the truth. After all he would find out eventually. “I’m afraid Will was in there with him.” That was Merlin’s breaking point. He slid down the wall and just cried knowing not only did he lose his father but his best friend who was basically his brother.


The next day was worse. All Merlin wanted was to be left alone, but people thought otherwise. All day people showed up with flowers and food. They stayed and they talked to them. “It’s going to get better” they would say. Or they would ask “how are you doing?” He wanted to tell them to fuck off but he knew they meant well so he would just say “I need to be alone but thank you for stopping by” and he would go to his room. He couldn’t say he was fine because he lost two out of the three people he loves the most.


Monday his mother made him go to school saying “you shouldn’t get behind on your studies.” Merlin didn’t feel like he could make it through the day. He just wanted to lay in bed and cry the pain away. Didn’t people usually take time off to grief the loss of loved ones? Apparently not if you’re 16. So he left to go to school. He didn’t have any friends at school aside from Will. Oh god… Will. Damn it the tears are back sliding down his cheeks again.


School was a blur, his teachers would ask him how he is holding up and the tears would fall again. It made the teachers uncomfortable which in turn made Merlin feel awkward. He couldn’t really find it in him to care that much though. He just wanted to have his father pull him into one of his tight hugs and have Will slap him on the back and say “we got you Merls, we got you good.” But he knows its wishful thinking and won’t happen.


 None of the students bothered him, and the teachers wouldn’t call on him in class. Whether if it’s to let him try to relax or out of fear of making him have a meltdown he doesn’t know or care.


When Merlin made it home he was relieved to see his mother’s car in the driveway. After the day he went through he really just needs to hug his mother and have a cup of her tea. He walked inside and yelled “mom I’m home”.  Walking into the kitchen he sees her leaning on the table asleep. Walking over to shake her awake. “mom you’re going to get a stiff nec. MOM!!” There was blood on her face, on her arm and on the table. Next to her was a kitchen knife dripping with a red liquid. Taking out his phone dialing the number. “911 whats your emergency?” a woman’s voice spoke into his ear. “My m-mom, my mom. S-s-she. She is trying to k-ki-kill herself” He was feeling a panic attack coming on. It was suddenly very hard to breath. His mother felt lifeless and looked so pale it hurt. “Sweetie what’s your address?” he just started sobbing “she isn’t breathing!” “There is an ambulance on its way.”


The boy couldn’t believe his luck. In less than four hours he lost his best friend and his father. Then two days later his mother tries to commit suicide. He is sitting beside her lifeless body in the Eeldor’s Hospital. The doctor told him that she is in a coma and could remain in it for a couple hours, couple days, couple weeks, or a couple years, and that’s if she even wakes up. The only family member he has left is his Uncle Gaius. He called him a little bit ago to tell him what happened and he suggested that Merlin moves to Camlet to live with him.


Holding on to his mother’s hand he looks into her pale face. He gently rubs his thumb over the smooth texture of the back of her hand and says in a voice filled with both love and sadness “I love you mom, I can’t believe you did this, but I love you. I’m going to go live with Uncle Gaius but I will come and visit you when I can. Please get well soon I miss you.” With the unending tears and his shaking body he kisses his mother’s forehead and walks out of the room.


He returns to his home for what will probably be the last time. Grabbing as much clothes as he can fit into his suite case and a picture of him, his parents, and Will. He goes outside to sit on the porch to wait for Gaius to come and take him away.

Chapter Text

Nightmares and Cartoons



Merlin is feeling a lot of things right now. Betrayal, anger, depressed, but most of all confused. He never thought that he would be going through what he is going through. Losing the three people that he is closest too and spends all his time with. Sure he has his Uncle Gaius, but they are almost strangers to each other.


The raven haired boy was sitting on the porch with his feet dangling off the side. He was looking at the ground but not really focusing on what he is seeing. Merlin can’t remember how long he has been sitting there. It was getting dark but he could still see in front of him.


“How long are you going to sit there?” Startled by the sound of Gaius’s voice the boy just looked up to see his Uncle standing next to him. He looked good for a man in his mid 40’s.


“How long have you been standing there?” Merlin replied his voice sounding slightly scratchy.


“Long enough my boy long enough. Come on let’s get going.”


Getting up and grabbing his suite case the boy followed his uncle to his car. The drive to Camelot was blur. Gaius had different Linkin Park songs playing relatively quiet so there would be a little sound in the car. Merlin tried to sleep but couldn’t get the sight of his mother looking dead out of his eyes.



Gaius tried starting a conversation a couple of times. “I think you will like the spare room. It has a walk in closet. You will also have your own personal bathroom.”


Merlin tried hard to care but his heart just wasn’t with him right now. He tried flashing Gaius a fake smile so he wouldn’t be worried and said “That sounds great.” He could tell Gaius wasn’t convinced.




After what felt like forever they arrived at Gaius’s apartment. It was a four-bedroom apartment. His uncle liked to have one room as an office, another for storage, one for his bedroom and one for a spare (which is now Merlin’s room).


“Why don’t you go and get your things settled into your room and I’ll get us some supper.”


Replying with a little “okay” he grabbed his suite case and walked into his new room. The first thing that he noticed was that it was a light blue color. There was a bed in one corner with a dark gray comforter on it. Next to it was a desk with a lamp on it. Across from the bed was a small television. I have a telly in my room? Hunith wouldn’t let her son have a television in his room thinking it would distract him all night and hurt his studies.


Continuing to explore his room he walked into his walk in closet. It wasn’t huge but it was a lot better than the one he had at his parent’s house. I didnt even have a closet before. Just a dresser. At the other end of the walk in was a door which led to his personal bathroom. The bathroom was also on the smaller side but none the less had a toilet, sink, and a shower. He really liked his room. It was a huge improvement to what he had before. The boy had to share a bathroom with his parents, which wasn’t a bad thing but they all had to take turns with showers which could be a pain at times.


After hanging his clothes in his closet and setting the picture frame of him, his parents, and Will on the desk beside his bed. He walked out of his room to see another man around the same age as his uncle talking to Gaius.

“Ah Merlin come here I want you to meet a good friend of mine. Merlin this is Kilgharrah, Kilgharrah Merlin. He works at Camelot High and will be your teacher, he is also the principal so don’t make him mad.” His uncle had a soft look in his eyes and a smile on his face. He seemed at completely relaxed right now.


“How can you be both a principal and a teacher?” Merlin asked seeming confused.


“Hello Merlin it’s nice to finally meet you. Being just a principal I don’t get to know my students on a personal level. In fact, there would be several students graduating that I would never get to meet and wouldn’t know anything about me, so to fix that I chose to teach a class that would ensure I would get fifty-percent of the students at least once.” Kilgharrah spoke with a tone that sounded proud and calm but also slightly intimidating.


Merlin wasn’t really sure how to respond to that. He liked the fact that his new principal wanted to actually get to know his students and made an effort to do so. Maybe just maybe it won’t be so bad here.


Just then the front door opened and a head full of brown curls carrying three white boxes with Pizza Huts labels on them walked in. He looked to be around Merlin’s age. The boy seeing Merlin looking at him smiled as he set the boxes on the table.


“Hey there, my names Mordred looks like we are going to be neighbors.”


“My names Merlin,” he replied with a small smile. “It’s nice to meet you neighbor.”


“Let eat some pizza” Kilgharrah said with a grin stretching across his face.




Dinner was going really well. Merlin and Mordred are sitting on the couch in the living room. Gaius and Kilgharrah are chilling across the room at the kitchen table. The adults were talking about possible field trip ideas for next semester.




Merlin quickly learned that Mordred is a total sweet heart. He was telling Merlin about all of his friends at school and seemed genuinely excited to introduce him to all of them. "When will you start going to Camelot High?" Mordred asked with a grin on his face.


The curly haired boy seemed to radiate positivity and good vibes and as if it was some form of disease Merlin was getting sick. He was feeling good and was even sporting a smile of his own. "I’m not sure. Gaius when will I start going to school?"


The man in question looked away from Kilgharrah to face his nephew and responded "Monday, I want you to have the rest of the week to relax and to get to know the area a little bit"


Mordred looked a little disappointed but quickly hid it with a smile. "I’ll show you around the school on Monday and you can meet all my friends."


Merlin couldn’t wait till Monday. He just grinned and replied "that would be awesome I can’t wait!"


When dinner was over Mordred asked for Merlin's phone number. Never one to turn down a friend. Especially since he only has/had one. Damn... Way to kill the mood dumb ass. His phone vibrated on his leg. Looking down at it there was a message (you're cute when you frown, but adorable when you don’t, and beautiful when you smile). Aww I've never got a message like this before. Actually no one has ever flirted with me before. Unable to help himself he grinned and replied (really?)


Mordred reply was pretty quick. (Of course even if you have a weird name).


(My name isn’t weird. If anything you're the one with the odd name)


Mordred started laughing and responded with (if you say so)


"Mordred we should get going. You have school tomorrow and I have papers to grade," Kilgharrah said temporarily ending the boys text conversation. Kilgharrah and the curly haired boy said their good-byes and good night. Merlin and Gaius thanked them for dinner and walked them to the door.


Once they were gone Gaius turned to his nephew "you and Mordred seemed to hit it off." His uncle had a smile on his face and he seemed really pleased that his nephew was becoming friends with his friend’s nephew.


"He was really nice. I’ve never really had a friend other then Will" Merlin replied. I really hope Mordred's friends will like me as well.


He pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent a quick message to Mordred. (It was nice meeting you :) can’t wait to hangout again)




Merlin was still feeling the happiness that Mordred contaminated him with from earlier. He thought Mordred was cute but not in a girly way. Mordred had really curly hair with deep blue eyes. He was muscular and a little taller than him.


Merlin couldn't help but find Mordred really attractive. He had an innocent smile and was really sweet. He is totally a charmer and the odds are probably a player. He probably wouldn't mind getting played by him. Play me like a bass bitch. Chuckling “god I’m dumb.”





He was cold and scared. His face was wet and he was shivering from the damp air around him. He was sitting in a chair with his arms bound to his sides with rope. The room was dark and he couldn’t see anything but he could tell he wasn’t alone.


Suddenly a spot light was turned on in front of him over a woman. She was pale and her hair was stuck to her face with sweat. The lady’s arms are laid out on the table with deep cuts carved into her wrist. Even with the wounds inflected into the skin there was no blood pouring out. The boy tried to look away but his head wouldn’t move. It was as if strong hands are acting as a barrier to keep him from looking away from the woman. 


“Look into your mother’s eyes,” a gentle voice whispered into his ear. Looking into the lady my mother? He was greeted with sad loving brown eyes looking into his blue ones.


“Mom?” Not realizing he was looking at his mother his eyes widened. Glancing down to her arms “you’re hurt!”


“It’s okay sweetie everything will be okay. I promise I will come back to you” she knew that her son was hurting. Hunith regrets trying to end her life. “I love you Merlin. Make lots of friends and make good choices. Gaius is a good man he will look after you. I’m so sorry for what I did. I love you my baby boy.”


“MOM I need you!” Tears started flowing down the boy’s cheeks.


“Good-bye my love” his mother said with tears in her eyes.


“I’M NOT READY TO SAY GOOD BYE.” The boy sobbed. “Please stay with me”


As if he was watching an episode of Tom and Jerry a saw peeked up from the ground in front of him and started sawing the floor around him into a circle.


“Wa-what the hell?” the boy muttered quietly with a hint of curiosity as to his current situation.

The saw finally completed the circle and the floor under Merlin fell. Not even two second later. The boy was met with total darkness. As he was falling through the air the ropes tying his arms down disappeared with the chair soon following. Merlin’s arms started flailing around trying to find something to grab on to in order to stop him falling to his death.




“Gah” the boy woke up feeling sticky with sweat. “it was just a dream just a dream.” But it felt so real. Merlin wasn’t sure what to feel right now, his mom said she will come back to him but when? “I miss you mom come home soon.”




Gaius told Merlin he would have the apartment to himself for the day. He felt bad about leaving the boy alone but he had to go to work. Gaius gave Merlin his own key to the place in case he wanted to go explore the town. With a hug and a promise to bring home supper his uncle left for the day.


Merlin was having a relatively good day. He started the morning off eating Reese Puffs with almond milk and watching episodes of Charmed. Mordred texted him saying he would come by after school.


Around lunch time Merlin started boiling water to make spaghetti when his phone dinged at him. (Do you mind if I bring a friend with me?)


Excited about getting to meet one of Mordred’s friends he replied instantly (I’d love to meet one of your friends.)


The water was boiling by the time he received the next message. (Sweet her name is Morgana. She is going to get us Starbucks. What would you like?)


Not really sure what to send because he has never been there the boy put the pasta in the pot and then responded with (surprise me).


After the spaghetti was finished he returned to the living room to keep watching the Charmed marathon. Damn Leo is hot.




The rest of the afternoon was lost on the witches fighting to save the day.  Merlin looked at his phone to check the time. They should be here any moment. He is excited to see Mordred and excited and nervous to meet Morgana. He has never been friends with a girl before. At his old school the girls all thought he was weird. Which he can see where they are coming from being a klutz, almost always getting A’s, and spending majority of his time hanging out with Will and his parents.


A knocking sound knocked Merlin out of his thoughts. Quickly getting up and having to mentally stop himself from running to the door he walked over and opened the front door. The sight that greeted him was Mordred bent over tying his left shoe and a lady with black hair and fierce green eyes with a smirk on her face looking at him.


“Hi you must be Merlin. I’m Morgana Pendragon. Welcome to Camelot.” Her voice was soft and warm but also carried a tone of dominance. There was no doubt in his mind that she could kick his ass if he pissed her off.


“Yeah, I’m Merlin it’s nice to meet you. Come in.”


They walked in and Morgana said “I got you a Vanilla Bean Frappuccino with almond milk. I hope you like it.”


Taking the offered coffee Merlin took a sip through the green straw and let out a soft moan. “This is amazing! I’ve actually never had Starbucks before.”


“Well we will have to go there together sometime then” she replied.






The three of them spent the rest of the afternoon eating popcorn and playing Uno. Morgana actually turned out to be a really cool person. She pretty much took charge of the conversations.


“So Merlin what did was it like in Ealdor?” Morgana asked.


“My dad had a boat and he would take me out on it after school. We would go fishing and tubing. I spent most of my time on the lake.” Merlin was surprised that it actually felt good for him to talk about home.


“What was your dad like?” she asked.


“He was a great man. Very kind hearted and so much fun. He used to give Will and I a beer if we promised not to tell mum.” Chuckling at the memory he couldn’t help but feel his heart tear at the thought of his mom and Will. Just stay strong I don’t want to cry in front of my friends. Putting on a smile “What about you what’s your dad like?”


Surprisingly she frowned and replied “My dad is an asshole”.


Mordred started laughing at that. Which in turn made Morgana lips curve upwards. The curly haired boy laid down a card and said “Uno”.


“Don’t get too cocky you little shit, you aren’t going to win.” Morgana said with fake anger.


“Merlin if you skip her or make her draw cards I will buy you taco bell.”


“Hmm Taco Bell?” I like Taco Bell and I have a draw four in my hand. Maybe I should play along.


“Yes Taco Bell” Mordred replied with a smile.


Morgana seeming to see the wheels turning in Merlin’s head said “If you let me play I will buy you Star Bucks tomorrow.”


“Hmm Starbucks?” That coffee was really good.


“Yes Starbucks I’ll get you a Caramel Frappe” she offered.


“That’s a good deal.” Mordred said


His phone vibrated in his pocket (I’ll get you tacos and coffee tomorrow if you skip her but you have to play now.)


(What color?)




“That is a good deal” Morgana said with a smirk “go on play Merlin.”


Not even hesitating Merlin played a draw four. “let’s make it blue” he replied. I’m getting tacos and coffee. He couldn’t hold back his grin.


“Noooooo” Morgana yelled.


Mordred laid down a blue two and yelled “Yasssssssss I win”.




The rest of the evening flew by. The three of them pretty much just hung out on the couch. Morgana was too salty to play cards with them after losing and Merlin could tell it was a struggle for Mordred not to rub in her face but hey at least he gets food out of it.


“I should probably get going but hey it was nice to get to meet you Merlin.” Morgana said with a smile.


“Yeah it was nice meeting you too. Thank you for the coffee and hanging out it was a lot of fun.” He replied.


“It was would you mind if I come by tomorrow?” She asked.


“No I would love it if you did.” I cant believe its my second day and I already have another friend!


“Sweet I’ll have Mordred text me your number. Have a good night Merlin.”


Mordred and him walked her to the door. “Goodnight Morgana”.


“I’m actually going to leave with her I’ll catch you tomorrow Merlin.” Mordred said.


“Okay goodnight Mordred.”


After he shut the door he went and sat down on the couch. Taking out his phone he pulled up Instagram and went to Will’s page. Pulling up a picture of him he said “I wish you could be here and meet them. You would love Mordred and adore Morgana. I miss you Will.”