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What a Mess We Are

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When met with a scene your mind can’t process the initial shock can freeze you in place or spring you into action. That visceral reaction to the horrors that lie before her caused Chris’ skin to crawl. To think such a horrific sight could happen only a couple months after having saved the city—the world from imminent destruction. It was almost too much to comprehend. She looked to the girl next to her but, even Tsubasa was firmly paralyzed in place. No, now wasn’t the time to be afraid, now was the time to act, to face the future head on and work towards that hope of peace she held in her heart!

No, thought Chris, I won’t let anything take away this peace and happiness!

“Hey” cried Chris, “We might be fucking compromised or whatever, your room is worse than destroyed. If they were looking for you I—”

“No…no this can’t be happening.” Tsubasa fell to the floor, her collected demeanor was replaced with anguish in an instant.

“I understand this is a lot to take in at once but, we have to report this to—”


“Right, him, so come on—”

“He…he was supposed to come by earlier today. It wasn’t supposed to be this bad.” Tsubasa curled up on the floor.

“Wait, what?”


“No.” said Tsubasa plainly.

“What, what I’m not…” Chris covered her mouth but couldn’t stop the tears from shedding.

“Yukine, this is the fifth time already! It’s not that funny!”

“No. No! I know. It’s just,” Chris couldn’t even finish, her snickering getting the best of her. Her sides ached and her face adopted a twitched but, no matter how hard she tried to return to more pressing matters, the next wave of laughter always came back just as strong as the last.

As the final moments of her laughing fit faded away, Chris let herself fall back into a puzzlingly tall mountain of dirty—yet somehow fragrant—clothing. She had tried to cheer up Tsubasa but, the strong disconnect between the Tsubasa she knew and the state of her room was just too much. She had laughed so much that the other girl’s reactions went from outright embarrassment to light homicidal intent.

Tsubasa fell back next to Chris and covered her eyes with her hand.“I can’t believe this.”

“I mean,” Chris couldn’t help but smile as she wiped the tears from her eyes “how the hell do you even get clothes stuck to the ceiling?!”

“I’m unsure, it just…happened.”

“And all those chopsticks stuck under the mattress?”

“Those were extras I always take! They were clean!”

“You know I think I even heard that cup noodle bowl growl at me.”


Just like that Tsubasa went full circle back to embarrassment. She rolled over into the clothes and buried her face in a sweater. All she could do was groan. Genjuro was supposed to clean up her room earlier but, such an indignity was her fault and hers alone. She had been so focused on Chris earlier that it never occurred to her to check her room.

“Wait” Tsubasa sat up “what was it you wanted to come in here for again? Don’t tell me you want to see another Zwei Wing video again.”

Chris froze.

Dammit, what did you bring that up for. You took all the nerve out of me already. Right after I did all that stupid deep breathing and positive thinking and other zen bullshit you had to go and knock it all out--

“Yukine?” Tsubasa began, concern evident in her voice.




“No, I mean, no, it's nothing. It wasn’t anything important. I was just gonna try and tease you about anything i could find in your room anyway, I didn’t know you’d do all the hard work for me already.”


“I mean what the heck, half the fun is finding someone's dirty laundry, not having it all splayed on the floor and ceiling.”

“Yukine I know when you’re hiding something.”

“Yeah? How’s that?”

“You haven’t looked me in the eyes at all since you’ve said all that.”


“I see, there’s nothing to talk about then” Tsubasa stood up and dusted herself off. “I’ll get back to cleaning. Don’t feel obligated to stay.”

Chris gritted her teeth and jumped up to grab Tsubasa’s arm. Tsubasa turned to face her and was met with a gaze that said, “I’m fucking here, now what?”

Tsubasa pulled her into an embrace. Chris stiffened, unable to immediately process what was happening. Moments passed before Chris finally returned the embrace, burying her head into her lover's shoulder. In that moment she held Tsubasa tighter than she had ever held anyone before.

“I-I’m sorry” said Chris “I know I promised to be open. I don’t know why I lied like that.”

Tsubasa stroked the other girls hair and tightened the embrace.

“I just was so afraid to ask” croaked Chris, “I don’t even know why. I guess it’s hard to feel that sense of love without some pain attached to it, that I just bring it on to myself. That’s pretty fucked up huh?”

Dammit, dammit.

“But you aren't.”

“You know, how I ask to watch those videos with you all the time? Your concerts? You, you look so happy and so beautiful, no more than that. You look so content when you were with Kanade and, maybe it’s just me and how I imagine it, I’m sorry if I’m wrong but, I just don’t know if I can ever measure up to that. I don’t know if I can give you that same happiness you deserve, someone like me…”


“I, is, can I measure up to that?”

Tsubasa parted from Chris just enough for the two to see face to face.

“Could I ever take her spot?” Chris wiped away some stray tears.

“Oh Yukine, no.”

“Wh-What the fuck you didn't even fuckin hesistate!”

“I don’t need to hesitate, it’s the truth.”

“Then what the hell even--”

Tsubasa closed the gap between their faces and brought Chris into a deep kiss. A kiss so passionate that it challenged to take away all the pain Chris had in her heart. When it finally broke, the two found themselves staring deep into each others eyes.

Tsubasa smiled.

“You know Tachibana once told me that she would take Kanade’s place. My reaction could have been...more professional than it was. After that and after that fight I had with you, I’d see her in my thoughts and in my dreams. I eventually came to the conclusion that there truly wasn’t any way that anyone could take that place she had in my heart.”

Chris’ eyes grew sullen.

“But,” Tsubasa grabbed Chris’ hands with her own and clasped them together, “it’s ok that no one can take her place. Kanade’s place in my heart is Kanade’s but your place in my heart is yours, Yukine. It took awhile for me to understand what Kanade was trying to tell me all this time but, when I saw you and your resolve, that passion and strength behind that beautiful and tragic face, I knew. I knew what it meant to want for something, something beyond fighting and beyond the battlefield!”

“What, I, no, but” Chris’ face had turned a scorching red.

“I knew that I wanted you!”

“Y-Yeah, you know I...” Chris mumbled.


“I-I said you know I really want, wanted you too. I even, I, well…”


Dammit you idiot take a fucking hint!

Chris wrapped her arms around Tsubasa’s neck and pulled her down with her onto the dirty pile of clothes.

“I love you dammit!” screamed Chris. She pulled Tsubasa in for a kiss of her own before breaking it.

“I, yes, I love you t-too!” responded a red faced Tsubasa.

NOW you’re embarrassed?!