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A True Disaster for the Pharmaceuticals Industry

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"Dude, who died?" Shawn asked, looking his best friend over. He was dressed all in black, which, while a good look for his buddy, was not on his typical suit color palette.

Gus sighed. "Niveus."

Shawn blinked. He usually knew the names of Gus's friends. "Niveus...?" he asked, hoping to draw out a last name. Or first name, you never really knew with Gus.

"Niveus Pharmaceuticals, Shawn!" Gus barked. His anger faded almost immediately, replaced with his sad, mournful face. "Some crazy anti-vaccine terrorists attacked their plant and blew up all of their product."

"Oh, Gus," Shawn said sympathetically, reaching out to his friend, "that's so..." He frowned. "Wait, seriously? "Anti-vaccine terrorists"?"


"Those actually exist?"

"Yes, Shawn," Gus said, holding a newspaper out to Shawn. He flipped through it until he reached an article with Niveus in the name and started reading. "Niveus was a midwest affiliate of Central Coast Pharmaceuticals - we were going to help distribute their new swine flu vaccine along the California coastline! But now..."

"Dude, they didn't just destroy the vaccine, they totally killed a bunch of people!" Shawn said, reading with horrified interest. "Oh man, this is gruesome."

"I know," Gus said, voice choked. "It's terrible, so many people needlessly killed."

"Makes you wonder if they really were anti-vaccine terrorists," Shawn said thoughtfully.

Gus yanked his paper out of Shawn's hands, offended. "Shawn, don't do that!"

"Do what?"

"Don't speak ill of the dead!"

"I'm not speaking ill," Shawn said. He shrugged. "I'm just saying, maybe this isn't what it looks like."

"So, what, it's not anti-vaccine terrorists?"

"Maybe, maybe not! Maybe the vaccine was faulty, and somebody was just trying to stop it from being distributed."

"Oh really," Gus said, an eyebrow raised skeptically. "Double-checks and repeated pre-clinical testing of vaccine safety aside, how do you explain all the deaths?"

"Uh." Shawn thought about that. "Maybe they were people trying to get the faulty vaccine out. Maybe Niveus Pharmaceuticals was actually trying to get a bunch of people sick with their new vaccine. Maybe," he whispered conspiratorially, "your terrorists are actually the good guys. The saviors of humanity."

They thought about that.

Gus snorted. "Whatever, man, I'm out of here."

"See ya, buddy."