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My Family is Dysfunctional But We Have a Good Time Killing Each Other

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That kid has fire in his eyes. The first time I really looked at him, I could see it. It’s his fierce determination, his motivation to do whatever it takes, that reminds me of myself. From the first moment of this journey he was willing to do anything for the princess. He sacrificed his most precious relationship for a chance to save her. It’s admirable, to love a person that much. To be willing to sacrifice anything for them, just to know that they’re safe, even if it breaks your bond forever.

The boy has had some training, clearly, in the martial arts. He struggles to wield a sword, but excels in hand-to-hand combat. Passion and raw skill aren’t everything, though. The world will crush his spirit.

He’s young and stupid. He makes rash and foolish decisions. For the sake of what he believes is just, I’ve seen the kid leap into dangerous situations without calculation. His emotions have no place on the battlefield, and the burns on his arms in Hanshin, the wounded leg in Koryo, that’s proof. Someday, he’ll rush to his death.

I don’t like him, but he’s grown on me since we met. I’d like to train him. In the end, it doesn't matter to me whether he lives or dies, but still, I hope he turns out okay.

***

Of all the people I have met in my long, long life, Syaoran loves the most fiercely. Not a scrap of selfishness in that boy, I think; his decision at Yuuko’s shop is proof enough of that. His primary goal is the restoration of his most important person, and no matter how much it pains him, no matter how much he hurts or suffers or cries when he thinks he’s alone in the world, he won’t stop until he’s accomplished it. He’s kinder than he knows, and more giving than even he thinks.

Syaoran is very gentle, though, and I do fear for his safety. He’s skilled, but so young, and very reckless, and I’m afraid that his actions will someday land him in more trouble than he can deal with. I know he’s a pawn of that man, but he doesn't, not yet, and someday it’s going to blow up in all our faces and he’ll be the one hurt worst of all. It’s unbearable that he doesn't know. Even fabricated, he’s still a person, and he believes his actions are of his own volition.

I suppose we all do, to some extent.

This is the way things must be. This is the way things are, and I cannot change them and I do not want to because no one, not even Syaoran, who seems to pride himself on his pursuit of what is just and honorable, would do the right thing if they knew what the consequences were.

But until the day comes when this ends, I’ll help him along. Syaoran feels alone in the world, and the least anyone can do is give him a shoulder to cry on when he gets that sad, distant look.

***

When Mokona first met Syaoran, Mokona knew he was going to be Mokona’s friend! Syaoran is brave, and kind, and loyal, and in love with Sakura, which Mokona knows because Yuuko said Sakura is Syaoran’s most important person, and that means he loves her very much. The other Mokona is Mokona’s most important person, and Mokona loves Mokona very very much, so that must mean Syaoran feels the same way about Sakura!

But even though Sakura is Syaoran’s favorite person, he has lots and lots of love for everyone else in his heart, too! Syaoran lets Mokona sit in his lap when he reads, and Syaoran talks to Mokona like Mokona is a person just like Syaoran and Kurogane and Fai and Sakura, and even when Syaoran is very sad, and feels very alone and scared and stressed, he’s a very nice person and is always there for Mokona to talk to, so Mokona knows that Mokona loves Syaoran very very much already.

***

I sleep a lot. I feel tired all the time. The others say it’s because I lost my memories, and we’re on a journey to find them. My name is Sakura. The others say I’m a princess. I’m on a journey with three men and a cute little creature called Mokona. The first person I met when I woke up was Syaoran-kun. He’s the youngest of the other four, and he has warm brown eyes.

Syaoran-kun seems like a very nice person. I have only a few memories back, but he was the person who got both of them for me (though the others helped, of course). Everyone is very kind, but Syaoran-kun seems the most special. Talking to him feels natural.

It’s kind of funny, how close I already feel to such a complete stranger.