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Jade's been living on her own for almost a month before she sees her brother, their schedules never seeming to match up. When Jade's available, Winston's out of town on business; when Winston's available, Jade has an audition. Their conversations on the phone are hasty and stilted; awkward small talk is occasionally broken by the sharing of an old and intimate secret.
When they finally meet for lunch, they don't talk about their father at all.
"You look older," says Winston, sitting down across the table from her and taking a sip from his water glass. Jade stares at him with the shy half-smile that she usually reserves for first dates, and touches her hair like that's the culprit.
"You're older too," she says. His hair is longer and his glasses are different and his suit is more distinguished than anything she's seen on him before. "Did you come from your office?"
"It's not far from here," he says. She feels a little underdressed, but she likes that she feels a little underdressed. She likes that she made that choice for herself. "I wasn't sure if you were bringing your boyfriend or not."
"He's not my boyfriend," says Jade, but he might be. He could be. Mark would've skipped class and come with her if she wanted him to, but this meeting is just about her and her brother and trying to bridge that wide gap between them. She understands his choices now more than she ever did before.
"Are you sure?" says Winston, and smiles at her like he used to when he was teasing his little sister.
"It's complicated," says Jade, which describes her relationship with everyone on her life. Things are complicated with Mark because they're still feeling their way through this thing, but she's happy with him. "It's good."
"So how's...?" Winston starts, then thinks twice about the question and lets it trail off. They're mercifully prompted to order before the silence can get too awkward; Winston the sweet and sour pork and Jade the seafood soup. Soup can be portioned to last long enough to cover any unnatural gaps in conversation.
"That was always your favourite," she says.
Their mother's favourite is duck and Pearl likes the sweet and sour pork just like Winston when she's not making noises about becoming a vegetarian and their father's favourite has always been red bean buns.
"Still is," he says, and wipes moisture from the outside of his water glass with the pad of his thumb. "How's the acting going?"
"I got a part in a TV show," she says, latching onto the easy topic. "Just a couple of lines."
"But it's a start," he says. "Tell me when it's going to be on and I'll tape it."
"I will," she promises him. "As soon as I know. I haven't even filmed it yet, I do that next week."
"I'm proud of you," he says, and she looks up in surprise and smiles at him.
She's proud of herself too, but can't help but think about who those words will never come from, and she can't help wishing that things had been different, that she and Winston had never spent all this time apart to have this gap between them to begin with, that they were all around the table in her parent's house right now talking about her part and Winston's job and Pearl's grades.
"Maybe you could come over, when it's on," she says. "I'm going to have some people over, just some friends. You could meet them."
"Maybe," he says. "Maybe, if I'm in town. I'd like that."
"You could bring someone, if you wanted."
"I'd like that too," says Winston.
And maybe one person at a time she can begin to pull her worlds back together again, stitch the rift between them. It'll take a long time, but Jade made this choice, and she makes the choice to believe that nothing is insurmountable. She loves her family, all of her family, and somehow, someday, it will work.
They fall silent for a long moment; Jade hopes that the food comes soon.
"You're doing all right then?" says Winston finally.
"I'm doing all right," says Jade, and neither one of them talks about why that question needs to be asked.
Some people are made all the more conspicuous by their absence.