Work Header

the weekly reports on jeon jungkook's tragic love life

Chapter Text



"so," jungkook hears the baritone voice as he's topping a cappuccino with an extremely delicious and certainly unhealthy amount of chantilly. "are those apple pies you guys sell here as sweet as you?" great. a cheesy pick-up line was just what he needed to bring him solace in this pathetic day. as if having failed his trig test and waking up just to find they didn't have any coffee left in the apartment wasn't enough. jungkook is ready to tell whoever said that to stick the apple pie in a place they wouldn't be able to feel the sweetness of it when he looks up. oh. alright. instead of the typical urban dictionary definition of fuckboy he was expecting to see, he is met with hazel eyes. they are accompanied by the softest caramel hair jungkook has ever seen and sun kissed tanned skin. and, god—are those moles? maybe jungkook's day isn't going to end so badly after all. 

"depends on your definition of sweetness. the amount of sugar in that could easily beat me," jungkook doesn't know how to reply to pick up lines. he never did. all he needed in those situations were a grunt and a deadly min yoongi look™ and whoever was trying to woo him would be sent running. so when the words leave his mouth before going through his mind filter, he hopes the sun personification in front of him won't think he's too lame. judging by the smirk that takes over the boy's expression, he doesn't.

"i doubt that." the boy says, grabbing his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans. the action makes jungkook's eyes wander to his hands. fuck. he has really pretty hands. big and manly, but still soft and delicate, the kind that makes your fingers reach out to hold. jungkook spends all his self-restraint on making sure that doesn't happen. "i would like two of those. and a green tea frappuccino please."

"what's your name?" jungkook asks as he grabs a cup and starts to scribble the details of his order. no whipped cream. extra shot of espresso. weird. but nobody's perfect.

"it's taehyung," he—taehyung—answers. a pretty name for a pretty face. jungkook kind of expected it. he reaches inside his wallet, counting the exact amount of money as the price of his order before handing it to jungkook. their hands touch, sort of. jungkook isn't ready to admit to himself he did it on purpose.

as he steps away from the counter to prepare the drink (the day is slow, which is a relief since jihyo called in sick. he isn't sure what effect the act of working on a busy house without an extra pair of hands would bring to his sleep deprived body) taehyung sits on one of the tables. jungkook takes advantage of his practiced barista hands to keep stealing glances at the boy while working.

his clothes are strange. not strange bad, but just—unusual. not exactly the kind of clothing the regulars of the café like to wear. he lacks the denim jackets and baseball caps and ripped jeans. his legs are clad in cargo pants and his shirt has a lion print. worn out timbs and leather bracelets complement the look. he looks like one of those rain forest explorers you see on animal planet. jungkook believed no one could look good wearing cargo pants. well, he was obviously wrong. as he wonders if those lips are truly that shade of pink he feels the urge to direct his gaze up a bit. taehyung is staring right back at him. shit. the smirk is back again. jungkook feels his cheeks warm up, so he chooses to divert his attention back to putting the lid on the cup in order to avoid any further embarrassment.

"taehyung." jungkook calls once he finishes arranging the apple pie slices on the plates, even though there is no one else waiting for their orders. taehyung strides to the counter and jungkook tries really hard not to think about the way his strong arms look in that shirt.

"thanks," the other boy replies while grabbing his frappuccino and one of the plates. he goes back to his table and starts eating immediately, leaving the other plate forgotten on the counter. jungkook stands still, waiting for him to come get it. after a couple minutes have passed, he is ready to bring it over to the table himself when taehyung's deep voice brakes his train of thought:

"that one is for you, by the way," he says, words followed by a big gulp of his drink. jungkook loses all of his ability to react like a normal human. that was odd. sweet, but odd nonetheless. no customers had ever bought something for him. he never expected them to. especially the handsome ones, who make jungkook want to give free desserts so they could come back more often (he never did it, though, he still has bills to pay at the end of the month). he doesn't know how much time he spends pretending to be a wax statue until taehyung speaks again. "it's nothing much, really. you just look super tired. i thought maybe a treat could cheer you up. i mean, it totally works with me. i crave sweets whenever i'm sick or have a shitty day, so i end up eating cakes or something and feel better instantly. you know, like an apple pie a day keeps the doctor away."

jungkook doesn't really take notice on the distorted quote. because he is tired. and a slice of pie could probably do something about it. he was never an emotional eater, but the conviction in taehyung's voice makes something change inside of him, for a moment. "i—i just—thanks. really, that's very kind of you. thank you," the words come out stuttered and breathy and that's just a bit scary, since jungkook's shyness has never kept him from articulating proper sentences. his heart beats a little too fast. he doesn't think about the implications of that.

"no problem." taehyung says, before putting a caramelized piece of apple on his mouth. and then he smiles. his boxy grin is cute enough to make jungkook smile back involuntarily. he looks away after it gets too much and starts cutting the dessert on his plate. he brings the fork to his mouth and—ok. it's sweet. seriously sweet. but the cinnamon and the slightly acidic apples bring balance to everything. so jungkook is able to enjoy it, even though he isn't a fan of pies. he finishes it fast, adding, between bites, stolen glances at taehyung that sometimes get corresponded. it just makes the red color adorning his cheeks a shade deeper. just as he finishes his dessert the doorbell rings. he looks one last time to the other boy and proceeds to take the customer's order.

when he looks again, taehyung isn't there anymore. a wave of shallow sadness hits him. he didn't even get to tell him his name. and taehyung doesn't look like someone who would adopt drinking over priced stuff as a life style. he tries not to dwell much on it and carries on working through the rest of his shift. it isn't until fifteen minutes before the clock finally announces the time for him to go home and get his well deserved rest—after cramming up to 2 a. m. for his calculus quiz, of course—that he notices the napkin note beside the plate he had previously left on the counter and hadn't bothered to pick up yet. he opens it.

his day had definitely taken a turn for the better.


the pie was really yummy. but even though it had a lot of sugar

it couldn't make my heart beat as fast as it did

when i saw you blush. see you soon.






"you have to admit that's literally the cringiest thing anyone has ever said to you," yoongi says as he slumps down on the couch beside jungkook, a bag of chips in hand. "he's either hot as fuck, like someone who only exists in movies and cheap romance novels, or you're desperate to the point you’ve set your standards the lowest they can get. i don't know which one is more plausible."

jungkook rolls his eyes, pausing the game he's playing on his phone to look at his roommate. "listen. first of all, i'm not desperate. there's nothing wrong about wanting a boyfriend. it's healthy, actually. you could use one of those if you didn't spend all your free time at home or in the studio." yoongi throws a piece of his snack at him for that. jungkook just shrugs and puts it in his mouth. lemon and pepper. his favorite. "second of all," he resumes talking "i can't explain to you how he looks using just my words. you'd have to see him in person. it's not that he's fucking ethereal or anything like that. he's just—i don't know. there's something about him."

"watch out, kookie. there's no way you could know what that something actually is. what if he ends up being a weirdo who stops by coffee shops luring cute baristas with sweets? that wouldn't be so pleasant, would it?" yoongi replies, and even though jungkook is staring at the screen of his phone, he can see the smirk in the older boy's voice. he closes the game.

"hyung. come on. he was wearing a shirt with a really cute lion stamped on it. he's harmless. and he bought me a slice of pie because i looked tired. what kind of angel does that?" jungkook says, receiving a hum as an answer, before lying down to rest his head on top of yoongi's thighs. they are skinny but still have a certain softness to it. yoongi starts running his free hand through jungkook's scalp, scraping lightly. it feels nice. his eyes become heavy and he notices how warm the body under his head is. but his brain is foggy and blurry and that particular thought gets lost between taehyung taehyung calculus test taehyung.

a few minutes go by. jungkook can't tell how many, with the unconsciousness hugging his body and making his breath steady. the room is silent, save from the tiny sneezes that attack him from time to time, and the sounds coming from the tv almost make him miss yoongi's quiet, nearly whispered words. "i bought coffee, by the way. the one you like, the dark roast one."

jungkook faintly smiles and grips the hoodie that is covering his torso. it wasn't there before, but his tiredness prevented him form realizing that. "thanks, hyung. you're the best," he replies as darkness take over.

that night, he dreams about apple pies and warm hands running through his hair.




taehyung comes back to the café a week later. jungkook expects that to be the last time because, really, his luck isn't the best these days, but it seems that the boy has made it a habit to order some obnoxious drink with a sweet snack every few days. he's always smiling, and he's always wearing something ridiculous like denim overalls, and jungkook's heart always melts a little when he walks in through the front door.

they talk, sometimes. jungkook finds out that taehyung is a biology major—that explains a lot—and he's two years older than him. jungkook tells him about the classes he takes for the architecture program he's in and how he still can't quite understand the science behind a right triangle. they recommend songs to each other once they realize they have a similar music taste and try to decide which one of the desserts available is the best. taehyung sticks with the apple pie. jungkook has it as his favorite as well, but he denies and says the chocolate croissants take the prize. he's stubborn like that. 

he doesn't think they're flirting. just friendly. of course, the looks taehyung keep stealing at his lips whenever jungkook chatters during his breaks are a tad suspicious, and so are the lingering touches that come from jungkook whenever he hands out the orders, but well. jungkook is smart enough not to buy the idea that the whole falling in love at a coffee shop thing actually exists in real life. so he tries not to think much of the situation. until jihyo mentions it, at least. 

"about taehyung," she says, standing on her tip toes to grab the whipped cream container "did you manage to get his number yet?" jihyo has been watching the two of them like a mother hawk looking out for her babies since she got back to work. she hadn't said anything until now, though, which jungkook was thankful for, but nothing good lasts long.

"there's no number to get. you know that's not the reason he keeps coming back here. the pies we sell are just that amazing," he replies, giving her a grin hard to translate that could either indicate he's being sarcastic or just plain clueless. jihyo has known him long enough to recognize it's the former option.

"jungkook, please. don't be like this. i don't understand why you keep turning your back on things you clearly want," she stands serious with her hands-on-her-hips motherly pose. jungkook sighs. he doesn't get why she keeps doing that when he's only younger by months. "he bought you a pie. i wish someone would buy me a pie. and not only that, he tried to sweep you off your feet with some sugar related pick up lines. and don't try to tell me you don't feel anything for him, because i know that normally he would get nothing more than a grunt and a stare."

jihyo knew him well. too well. there was no way he could have a good comeback for that, but he still tried. "they weren't sugary, though. just cringy. yoongi agrees with me." 

"of course he does," she responds with a knowing expression on her face. "maybe you shouldn't rely too much on his opinions. trust me, he doesn't want you to get the guy's number as much as you're pretending to," her words result in a puzzled look on jungkook's features. "don't even ask." she shakes her head and moves towards the tables to clean up. 

jungkook spends a few moments reminiscing about what she said, but then he hears it: the low voice he could distinguish in a crowd, at this point. "hey," a smile. fuck, jungkook had missed that. and it hasn't been three days. "so, i've been stuck doing experiments in the green house all day and the flowers reminded me of you. i thought it'd be nice to stop by for a mocha latte. that's all, mostly." that explains the subtle scent of grass he felt. everything about the boy screams summer and sunshine after thunderstorms and jungkook feels as corny as taehyung's pick up lines for thinking that. the black haired boy notices a little too slowly the heat on his face that indicates his cheeks are probably the color of the roses taehyung has been picking up. there's that goddamn smirk again.

"you have a point. caffeine always brightens up my day too. do you want anything to eat?" jungkook asks, scribbling the name on the paper cup. not that he needs something to remind him.  

"no, not today," taehyung shakes his head. the action makes his fluffy hair fall over his eyes and jungkook takes a deep breath so he won't do anything stupid. like reaching out and feeling how soft his hair actually is. that would be a disaster. "when does your shift end?"

jungkook glances at the clock. seven thirty. "in half an hour. why?" taehyung's question was a little off. not that jungkook minded. 

"nothing, really," taehyung answers putting his hands on his front pockets. "i guess i'll just wait for it to end." he grins and goes to sit at his usual table. ok. that was unexpected. jungkook thanks muscle memory for the robotic actions his hands insist on doing. cup, milk, espresso, stir. repeat. he's almost done when jihyo comes back from the spot she was standing to watch the whole interaction. she nudges him with her elbow.

"see? he didn't even order a dessert today. he's definitely not in only for the food," she says as her hands go to her hips like a magnet. it's nothing much, really, but the action still makes jungkook feel small and like he's being scolded. he rolls his eyes and turns his back on her, taking the order of the customer in front of him, who was beginning to look kind of angry.

the minutes tick on the clock, but if anyone said to jungkook hours went by he would've believed it. as soon as his shift officially ends, he gets out from behind the counter and unties his apron, throwing it over his shoulder and moving towards the back of the room to get his backpack. when he returns, taehyung is already standing, waiting for him. jungkook smiles.

"hi." he doesn't quite know what to say. it feels peculiar not having something concrete between their bodies. he doesn't have time to regret his words—or the lack of—because taehyung grabs his hands and moves towards the exit. jungkook feels jihyo's scorching gaze on the back of his head. apparently he's going to have a lot of questions to answer the next day.

taehyung stops once they're outside and turns to beam at jungkook. somehow, he looks even more handsome under the weak lighting. "i'm a loyal believer that soliloquy is actually the window for a person's honest heart, so i'm just gonna say it. i like you. i've been flirting with you since i saw your cute pout, if you hadn't noticed. would you like to go on a date with me?" he says it all at once, so fast that jungkook would have missed some words if he were distracted. jihyo was right.

(jungkook already knew that, he just wasn't ready to admit it.)

taehyung keeps looking at him expectantly. his eyes are big and his lips look soft, especially when his tongue darts out to lick them. and they're still holding hands. as if jungkook's situation wasn't bad enough. his mind is blank and he starts to panic slightly, so he's willing to say the first thing that pops up in his brain. it probably won't be half as bad as he expects it.

"you have a stick in your hair," jungkook was absolutely, utterly wrong.

taehyung laughs. it's not just a giggle or a grin, it's a full laugh, the kind that makes your stomach hurt. "you're adorable when you say weird things." the older boy says between chuckles, causing jungkook to relax a bit and laugh as well.

"but it's true!" he replies, stepping forward, closer to taehyung. they don't stop laughing until their noses are almost touching, neither of them being able to tell how they got this close. jungkook finds himself fixated by the color of taehyung's lips, and when he takes a quick glance upwards, he's happy to find out he's not the only one staring. their eyes meet and they inch closer, and closer. jungkook closes his eyes and that's when it happens. he's fortunate to have enough time to cover his mouth, moving away from taehyung and being trapped in a chaotic fit of sneezes.

"are you alright?" taehyung asks, putting a hand on his back once he finally manages to calm down. jungkook straightens up his body and tries to look nonchalant. judging by the fact that taehyung is now wearing the same expression he makes when jungkook blushes too hard, he clearly failed.

"yeah, i'm fine. maybe i'm coming down with a cold or something. you know, the weather is weird these days," jungkook says, scraping the back of his head. "but my answer is yes. i would like to go on a date with you." the smile that takes over taehyung's features is enough to make him forget everything about the embarrassment caused by his sensitive nose.

he goes back home with a new contact on his phone under the name of taetae and with a mental note to buy some flu medicine in the morning.




"i can't believe you said that," yoongi says, curving his body onto itself due to how much he's laughing. jungkook drops his pencil on the open notebook that's resting on his lap and taps his friend's arms lightly—maybe not so lightly. but yoongi deserves it. "sorry, sorry," he continues after his laughter come to a halt. "i just didn't think this story could get any more ridiculous."

"you're just jealous because you don't have a hot biologist lusting after you," jungkook voices, writing down the law of cosines again. he really should have gone for psychology like he first intended too. people's feelings are probably easier to understand than tangents.

yoongi doesn't say anything back for a while. he just keeps the scowl on his face while typing something on his phone. jungkook knows he took it as a joke, but he still feels kind of bad. "hey," he calls yoongi, managing to catch his attention. "i'm sure you'll find someone to piss your skeptic romance-hating ass off. you just have to go outside more. aren't you tired of staring at my face every night?"

yoongi sighs. "not really. you have nice eyes," he locks his phone, turning around to look at jungkook. "and i was expecting a scenario where i wouldn't have to leave the house to find love, but you know. life's a bitch."

"i don't actually. life's been really nice to me lately. if i don't count those fucking math problems i have to solve, at least," jungkook says as he closes his notebook, having enough of studying for the time being. he could catch up later, possibly. probably not. but his tired eyes kept him from worrying too much about it. "come on, hyung. let's watch something." yoongi is quick to comply.

that's how they find themselves lying next to each other in yoongi's bed, their heads touching so they can see better what's going on in the screen of the small laptop yoongi has perched up on his lap. they're watching an action movie, something jungkook has already seen, but yoongi really wanted to watch it, so he lied and told him he never even heard about it. he doesn't know why he did that, but the tiny 'oh's and 'ah's yoongi makes every time something gets smashed is enough to kill his concern.

it's comfortable. it's everything he wants to do after a tiring day. it's warm and calming and it feels like home. maybe it's because he's known yoongi for longer than he hasn't. maybe it's because he's getting sick. a lot of maybes run through jungkook's mind, but they get too drained once yoongi brings a hand to jungkook's hair and starts to stroke it.

he wakes up in an empty bed, but there's no doubt about the heaviness across his waist he felt through the entire night.




[taetae] 8:13 a.m.


this is taehyung

good morning (^o^)/


[coffee hottea] 8:17 a.m.


good morning taehyung

how are you?


[taetae] 8:18 a.m.

i'm better now

so i was thinking

if you'd like to do something tomorrow

like a daet


if you're free of course


[coffee hottea] 8:20 a.m.


i don't have any shifts tomorrow just a morning lecture

so yeah i'm free after lunch

and a date would be really nice


[taetae] 8:21 a.m.


we can text about the details later

i can't wait

see you later (〇*>∀<)ゞ★☆


[coffe hottea] 8:32 a.m.

me too

see you :)




[kookie] 4:13 p.m.

hey hyung

guess what


[tiny hyung] 4:25 p.m.

they found life on mars

no, better

those guys upstairs finally fixed their cranky door


[kookie] 4:26 p.m.

lol i wish


i have a date tomorrow

with the biology guy



[tiny hyung] 4:28 p.m.


that's nice

what are you guys doing?


[kookie] 4:28 p.m.

we're going to the amusement park

and then we'll watch a movie

oh my god

i'm kind of nervous


[tiny hyung] 4:33 p.m.

chill kook, everything will be fine


[kookie] 4:34 p.m.

but what if he doesn't like action movies

what if i get sick after riding the rollercoaster


[tiny hyung] 4:37 p.m.

just don't go on the rollercoaster

you could ride something else instead ;)


[kookie] 4:39 p.m.

jesus hyung stop

i'm serious

i don't want to mess this up


[tiny hyung] 4:44 p.m.

you won't

stop worrying, just be yourself

he already likes you, it's hard to overcome that


[kookie] 4:46 p.m.


sorry i'm being paranoid

there's a customer coming ttyl


[tiny hyung] 4:46 p.m.


stop freaking out




jungkook does, almost, stop freaking out.

(after he talks to jihyo over the phone for almost an hour, and has yoongi as his fashion critic when deciding what to wear. but that's not really important data for the big picture. right?)

he has lunch with mina and dahyun after his lecture about renaissance architecture. he tries to keep his food intake to a minimum, because it would still be very nice to avoid the possible roller-coaster fiasco. and he wants to save space in his stomach for all the cotton candy and hot dogs he's planning on eating. wait. is taehyung a vegetarian? he's definitely not vegan. but, then again, he's a biology major so he obviously cares a lot about animals and—

"jungkook," mina says, waving her manicured nails at his face. "stop that. you're spacing out again."

"sorry," jungkook groans, running his hands through his hair. "it's just. i'm a bunch of nerves, i don't know what's going on with me." he had spent his entire class thinking about scenarios that could happen (and probably won't) involving taehyung.

"don't tell me it's about that guy," dahyun voices, typing something on her phone. "you look like an idiot. what's the big deal about him? it's not like you've never been with someone before." he has. but not with someone he liked that much. not with someone like taehyung. he had a considerable amount of girlfriends in high school. but, of course, that was before finding out that no, it wasn't because they just weren't the right person and yes, it was because boys in baggy sweaters and ripped jeans made his heart beat a lot faster than females and their skirts.

"like you can say anything. don't you remember how you were like when you first asked sana out?" jungkook knows that's a touchy subject for dahyun. but the smug look disappearing from her face makes it totally worth it.

"can you drop that already? we've been dating for five months and you guys still tease me about that," mina and jungkook look at each other, trying to conceal their laughs. "also, this is totally different. i bet he's not a celestial being like sana. and you already know how he feels about you. there's no way to mess it up."

"did you forget it's jungkook we're talking about?" mina says, getting up to take her tray to the trash. dahyun and jungkook follow her. he doesn't reply anything. it's true, anyway. although he may seem confident and sure of himself he gets really uneasy when he really cares about something. he tries not to over think about the one recurring scene on his mind—where he trips on a balloon and falls into the water fountain—as he walks home to get changed. his outfit is already ironed and laid out on his bed ("white shirt and black skinnies," yoongi said. "you can't go wrong with that."). once he gets dressed, he plays games on his phone while waiting for the minutes to pass. when it's a quarter to four, the time they agreed on to meet at the coffee shop, he makes one last desperate phone call to yoongi—and gets yelled at, because just fucking go, jungkook, i'm working—and leaves.




"we had to be like, really, really, quiet. because, you know, those wild animals would jump at anything that moves. it was a bit scary, obviously, but it was so worth it. it's completely different seeing them from up close. and the sun was setting, which made everything fucking ethereal," taehyung is telling stories about the two months he spent on africa. they're eating french fries (taehyung is a vegetarian, but jungkook finds out it doesn't actually change anything) and sitting on a booth of a fifties’ themed restaurant that's near the theater.

the date, jungkook muses, couldn't have gone better. they went on all the crazy rides—jungkook didn't get sick—and then proceeded to gorge on half their bodyweight worth of ice cream. later in the evening, when they were watching a movie with lots of explosions and bad guys, taehyung lifted his right arm and wrapped it around jungkook's shoulders. as the credits rolled, the older boy cupped jungkook's face and kissed him slow. and that's when he thought that, in fact, he didn't have anything to worry about.

"it must have been really unique. the experience, i mean. i've never faced an dangerous animal from up close before. unless you count my hyung's dog, molly. he's the cutest thing ever but when he's sleepy and we wake him up he gets really scary. exactly like hyung," jungkook says, dipping a french fry on his milk shake. call him weird, but it's still delicious.

"i didn't know you had a brother." taehyung says, receiving the bill smiling at the waitress. he's a gentleman, as expected.

"oh, yoongi is not my actual hyung. he's my roommate," they move towards the exit. "he's kind of grumpy when you first meet him, but when you get to know him he's an actual marshmallow. unless you disrupt his sleep." when they're going through the door, jungkook trips on the steps (they're peculiarly big steps. you can't blame him) but taehyung keeps him from falling, resting a hand around his waist. he doesn't let go even after jungkook has composed himself, which is a nice surprise.

"you live around here?" taehyung questions.

"yeah, two blocks away from the coffee shop, actually. what about you?"

"my apartment is near the library. guess we're going in the same direction then," jungkook is grateful for that, if it means he can feel the warmth of taehyung's hand on his back for a while longer. they walk in silence. it's not awkward, like the quiet usually is. it's nice. jungkook likes it.

"look," taehyung says, stopping abruptly when they're nearing jungkook's flat. "i don't want to seem weird or anything, but i had so much fun today and i can't believe it's almost ten and you probably have classes tomorrow or something, i know i do, but i would like a lot if you could hang out at my place. for a while." jungkook doesn’t know how that many words can fit in such a small amount of time. taehyung should be breathless, but it's jungkook who loses his breath. he loses any sense of movement from his body, apparently. just stands there, like an statue.

"oh. sorry. it's okay if you don't want to, i know i'm probably rushing things, and i would totally understand if you didn't have as much fun as i did. i'm probably blabbering now, right? i just have this thing when i say whatever's on my mind and then i can't stop—" jungkook kisses him.

this kiss, unlike the first one, is not slow. it's hurried and messy and has too much tongue involved, but jungkook still likes it better. he wraps his hands around taehyung's neck and pulls him closer, closer, until he's stepping back and his body hits the wall.

everything is fast paced after that. one minute they're visibly making out in the middle of the street—it's empty, but still—and the next they're climbing up the stairs to taehyung's place. when they get to his apartment, jungkook leans on the door frame as taehyung tries to find his keys. he fumbles to find the right one. at the same time jungkook hates the fact that the other boy carries around a stash that makes so much noise (he would really like to resume the kissing) he is also thankful, for he has some time to process.

this is real. he didn't mess up. nothing strange happened. okay, there was this allergy that had been holding onto him like a leech for the past week, but taehyung clearly didn't mind. jungkook wants to time travel and tell his past self that everything will turn out fine, that in a matter of hours he would be a few steps away from the room of the handsome creature he's been daydreaming about. jungkook blinks. he is literally a few steps away from taehyung's room. and after the heavy public make-out session they had going on, he doubts they would just sit and chat while having a cup of coffee or something. isn't he going too fast? isn't this—

"fucking finally." jungkook is ripped off from his thoughts when taehyung finds the key. the older boy grabs him by the wrist and drags him into his house.

as they're taking their shoes off, jungkook looks around and realizes that taehyung's apartment is exactly how he imagined it to be. there is old-style furniture. everything seems to be made out of wood. and there is plants. lots of them. mostly flowers, the daisies and the roses and the exotic ones jungkook probably couldn't pronounce the name of. once they're done, taehyung pulls jungkook by his hips and presses their mouths together.

in a mess of limbs and wandering hands, they manage to get to the couch. jungkook falls right into taehyung's lap, placing his legs on each side of the other's thighs. taehyung's lips are warm on his neck and it feels so nice jungkook wouldn't mind keep doing it forever. 

"has anyone ever told you you're hot? because you are," jungkook lets the words slip in his hazy state. he already knows the answer though. it's printed on the stare people gave taehyung when they were leaving the movies.

"my roommate tells me that all the time." that's a weird remark. kind of. but jungkook doesn't catch up on it since taehyung's hands found their way under his shirt. jungkook slides upwards on his lap, his own hands moving from the tight grip they had on taehyung’s hair to touch anything, everything. he wraps his fingers around strong upper arms, getting impossibly closer. taehyung brings his lips to jungkook's earlobes, biting and playing with the piercings he has there. jungkook feels a noise coming up his throat.

and that's when it happens.

(of course it does.)

jungkook is glad he has quick reflexes that get him away from taehyung's face instants before the sneezes start. jungkook covers his mouth while his whole body shakes lightly. he can't tell exactly how much time he spends twitching and coughing, but when he finally stops, he's sitting—on the couch, this time—curled up on himself while taehyung runs a hand through his back.

"easy there. you okay?" taehyung asks when jungkook straightens his body.

"yeah. there's just this fucking allergy that won't leave me alone. sorry about—" he has no time to finish his sentence before it starts all over again.




they don't get back to what they were doing before the whole disaster began. taehyung is nice enough to make him tea—ginger is good for everything, he says. they end up watching animal planet for a while, and it's nice, it truly is, but there's still that awkwardness hanging on the air. and jungkook knows it can't be sent away by herbs and meerkats. taehyung pecks him on the cheek when jungkook leaves, and, as he walks back to his apartment, he tries the best he can to accept that he has been cockblocked by his stupid nose.




"holy fuck, jungkook. that's literally the funniest thing i've ever heard from you," yoongi says. they're laying side by side on the floor, staring at the ceiling. it's calming, jungkook thinks. it's solace after a messy day. jungkook groans into a pillow. he already regrets telling yoongi the whole story.

"says the guy who dozed off during a date," jungkook says and kind of instantly regrets it (he knows the reason why yoongi fell asleep was the countless hours he spent trying to finish this one track that he couldn't get to sound right. yoongi fell asleep because he works hard. because he is kind enough not to bail last minute. so it's safe to say jungkook has a motive to regret his comment).

"we were watching a movie. that kind of really mellow, slow-paced drama. it's not exactly my fault," yoongi says, stretching his arm above his head as if he was trying to touch the glow in the dark stars jungkook had put on the ceiling of the living room. 

"i know, hyung. i guess i'll have to accept the title of having the most awkward date in history," jungkook rubs the heels of his hands on his eyes. he is still doing his best to forget about the uncomfortable look on taehyung's face (jungkook thinks it was uncomfortable. he couldn't exactly see it since his eyes were getting blurrier and blurrier by the second) as he rubbed jungkook's shoulders, in a failed attempt to send the sneezes away.

"but tell me," yoongi's hands falls fast on his chest. "was the kissing any good?"

"the best."

"do you think it will happen again?"

"probably not."

(jungkook likes to be realistic. he really likes taehyung and taehyung most likely really likes him as well. but there's only so much that liking can do. jungkook knows this because he's not even sure if he wants the kissing to keep happening.)

"wait," yoongi says after a few minutes of silence. "taehyung is a biology major. he spends a lot of time around plants and flowers and stuff, right?" jungkook nods. two milliseconds later, yoongi starts laughing, loud and strong enough to make his whole body shake. jungkook just stares at him. he stares as yoongi's chest heaves up and down, as tears start falling from his eyes. 

"what is your problem?" jungkook asks once yoongi calms down.

"this is fucking great!" the laughter comes back two times more boisterous.

"hyung," jungkook gets closer to yoongi and bumps the side of his arm with his shoulder. "are you going to tell me what's so funny?" 

"sorry, kook," yoongi says when he finally manages to calm down. "do you really don't know?"

"no, i don't," jungkook bumps into him again. the fabric of yoongi's sweater bunches up. "tell me."

"did you forget you're allergic to pretty much every kind of flower?"

there's silence.

and then:

"oh fuck."

and then:

"i'm basically fucking allergic to taehyung," yoongi starts laughing all over again. "hyung, stop making fun of my misery," he doesn't. but, for some reason, the red cheeks, the tiny snores, the wet eyes, it all makes jungkook smile. a smile that blooms into a giggle. before he notices, he is laughing as much as the other.

"i'm kind of relieved it didn't work though," yoongi confesses a while later, when the snickers have died, and the only sound left is their breathing and background tv noises. "i was starting to think that my theory might not make sense after all." 

"what theory?" jungkook dismisses the part that yoongi's glad his date was a disaster.

"i was talking about this to nayeon, the other day. we made a theory about how you and tzuyu will be the kind of people that don't date until graduating college."

"you guys made a bet on us?"

"it's not a bet," yoongi sighs. "you two just seem to attract weird people, you know. the ones that never get to a second date."

"that's not true!" jungkook rolls his body to look at yoongi, leaning his weight on his elbow.

"you just came back from the fiasco of the century. are you sure it's not true?"

jungkook looks at him. he watches a lazy smirk take over yoongi's face when he notices jungkook doesn't have anything worth answering. jungkook stops thinking about any excuses that probably won't work anyway, gets up and goes to his room, leaving yoongi with nothing but a murmured good night. 

and this is the catalyst. this is what makes jungkook go to sleep, an hour later, with a new challenge set on his mind: he will get himself a boyfriend and prove yoongi's theory false.