This was Axel's fault.
Everything else usually is, but this time it's especially his fault.
His simple question to Roy had sparked a debate among the Rogues, and now no one was talking to each other unless it was to insult them.
The morning had been a normal one (as normal as a morning could be with this group), with everyone getting up at their usual times, and Mick had helped Mark with a huge breakfast. Most of them were seated around the table, in varying degrees of wakefulness.
"So, Roy..." Axel had started off with, "you like both tea and coffee, right?" He had a dumb smile on his face, that shit-eating grin that should have told Roy something was up. He leaned on the table, propping his chin in his hands. He was too awake for a man who doesn't get sleep 90% of the time.
"Yes?" Roy said, hesitantly.
"Which is better?"
Hartley, who hadn't even been a part of the conversation, immediately piped up. "Tea," he said. Of course that was his choice; he practically ran on the stuff.
"Uhh, no. Coffee," Mark said. "Caffeine. Need it to survive." He had just woken up and was, in fact, clutching a cup of coffee, acting as if it was his lifeline. His hair was a mess, not combed into the swept aside bangs he normally wore.
Ros rolled their eyes. "You don't know what tea is even like," they said. "It can have caffeine. And, no, iced tea doesn't count."
Mark glared at them, mumbling something about iced tea being a Southern thing and it should be respected, dammit!
Lisa came in and sat next to Roy. "Are you saying iced coffee doesn't count?" she asked.
"Of course not," Ros said. "You can't just put ice into something that's meant to be warm." They crossed their arms. Smirking, they leaned against Sam's chair.
Sam, who looked as if he was going to fall asleep. "Mark, pass me a cup of coffee," he mumbled. Ros gasped.
"Sam!" they scolded. "How dare!" They went to the other side of the table, where they sat next to Hartley and turned their back to their former ally. They were a mix of masc and fem that day, deciding to wear just a touch of makeup and curled hair while presenting masculine otherwise. Hartley patted their shoulder briefly.
"Don't worry, Ros. I know true tastes," he said. "Tea had more health benefits than coffee."
"Coffee keeps me awake!" Mick said, startling everyone. No one thought he was even listening. "That's why I go straight black coffee."
"Oh, please, nothing with you is straight," Len said. He had just walked in, taking the mug Mick handed him. "Isn't that why you're here?"
"Ugh, that's so bitter!" Ros said. "How could you?"
Hartley stood. "I'm leaving this negativity," he said, glaring at everyone. "How dare you pretend that... that bean water is nutritious?"
"Better than leaf water!" Mark argued. "Coffee tastes way better!"
"Cool it," Len said, but no one listened.
"Tea!" Hartley and Ros shouted.
"Coffee!" Mick, Lisa, Mark, and Sam yelled.
Any diffusing Len tried to do was drowned out by the shouting match.
"Coffee is almost as bitter as your soul, and that's saying something!"
"Tea's just water with nasty sugar in it!"
Poor Roy was caught in the middle, glancing between the two sides. Mark's hand was wrapped around his arm, and Hartley was trying to convince him to let go so Roy could "be on the right side".
Axel slipped underneath the table and leaned against the wall next to Len. "So..." he said, glancing over. "Why aren't you fighting?"
"I prefer hot chocolate," Len answered. "Although I do like coffee, I'd rather not fight."
"Hot chocolate's great," Axel said with a grin. "With little marshmallows and rainbow sprinkles."
Len raised an eyebrow. "Little? Why not full sized?"
Axel gasped, clutching his heart in mock agony. "How dare????" he squeaked. "Tiny marshmallows melt better!"
"Why would you want to melt them?"
Shawna and Bette did not expect to come home to not one, but two ongoing arguments. They had gone out early to avoid rush hour, and besides, they couldn't get this stuff at home.
As soon as they stepped into the kitchen, all eyes turned to them and the Starbucks mugs in their hands.
"What did you get?" Mark and Hartley demanded, simultaneously.
"White chocolate toasted mocha," Shawna said.
"Passion iced tea lemonade?" Bette said.
The two were broken apart by people yanking them to separate sides, and the fight started up again.
(Axel was very proud of the chaos he created.)