Actions

Work Header

For Better Or For Worse

Work Text:

They weren’t married. Not yet, anyway. They would be, once they had their feet on the ground and settled down. 

 

For now, they were mates. When they bonded, they thought the world would end. It did, for a while. Hinata’s parents weren’t thrilled because who would be proud of an omega who made the mistake of bonding with someone at the age of sixteen? He received the cold shoulder from both of them for weeks on end. 

 

Kageyama’s parents didn’t seem to care. They weren’t very close, and usually treated each other with respectful and courteous detachment so when he said he’d found a mate, he was congratulated and sent to do chores. 

 

They thought that was the end of the world, but in reality it was a minor pothole in the road. 

 

Hinata getting pregnant was the end of the world. 

 

They spent Hinata’s heat together at Kageyama’s house. The redhead was incredibly whiny and needy during his heat and Kageyama was more than happy to help him with anything he needed. 

 

The truth is, they both got lost in the moment. Hinata was barely lucid because of the fever and Kageyama was too enthralled by Hinata’s scent to think clearly. So, they did what alphas and omegas do. There was only one problem- they forgot a condom. 

 

Of course, neither of them realized until the morning after. Hinata, being the dumb idiot that he is, refused to take a pregnancy test so they were both left in the dark. 

 

“I’m not pregnant,” he insisted. “I’m not. I’ll be fine.”

 

He was fine, for a little while. Then, the morning sickness set in, as well as the mood swings. Hinata caved and took a test, revealing what he feared would happen. He was pregnant. 

 

For Hinata’s parents, their son being pregnant was the last straw. He was told to get out of their house and to never come back. He did so, because he knew this would happen. He was just a charity case- all male omegas were. Male omegas were a rarity, seen as a burden and a defect. Hinata knew that his parents were looking for an excuse to get rid of him and now that they’d found one, he’d be moving in with his mate. 

 

The only other male omega that Hinata had ever met was Sugawara Koushi. He was a seasoned veteran when it came to the down sides of being a male omega. He’d been through it all- all the discrimination, abuse, and hate. Despite that, he found his way to a safe place and found himself a good mate. 

 

Hinata had the support system he needed to get through this. He had his friends and his mate- what else could he ask for? Because of this, he decided to keep the baby. He’d have to stop playing volleyball for a while, but it would be worth it when he had his baby. 

 

Life went on. The morning sickness persisted and with it came the cravings of certain foods and the aversion to others. They made prenatal appointments and looked at ultrasounds, where the technician would point out every little part of their baby. When they first heard their child’s heartbeat, it took their breath away. Hinata started crying immediately and Kageyama almost fell over. 

 

That was his child. That was both of their child. They made that. 

 

He or she would be theirs, soon. 

 

The first trimester came and went and Hinata’s baby bump got bigger. He loved showing it off and wearing shirts that were just a bit too tight so everyone could see the gentle protrusion of his belly. 

 

One day, during class, Kageyama sat next to his mate and listened to the teacher lecture when Hinata straightened up, grabbing his belly and gasped. 

 

“What?” Kageyama asked quietly. “What is it? Are you okay?”

 

Hinata had tears in his eyes. “I felt a kick,” he said. “Oh! It’s happening again, feel!”

 

They were disrupting class now, but neither of them cared. Hinata grabbed Kageyama’s hand and pressed it to a spot on his belly and Kageyama felt it, a gentle kick. He exhaled. That was their baby. Their strong, probably athletic baby. 

 

Within the next week, they had another prenatal appointment. Hinata leaned back on the bed and allowed the ultrasound technician to scan his belly. 

 

“Do you want to know your baby’s gender?”

 

Hinata looked up at Kageyama with big eyes and the setter couldn’t say no. 

 

“S-Sure.”

 

“It’s a girl,” the woman said. 

 

Hinata gasped and sat up slightly, looking at the screen. “She’s beautiful,” he said. “Look, Kageyama, isn’t she beautiful?”

 

All Kageyama could do was nod because he knew that if he tried to speak, he’d cry. She really was beautiful. 

 

The second trimester came and went. Hinata was due to give birth in June, which was convenient because school will have let out by then so they’d have time to get their feet on the ground. They started buying baby clothes and they bought a crib. Kageyama’s parents allowed them to turn the spare bedroom into a room for their baby, so they painted the walls a cream color and got pink drapes and teddy bears to go with it. The room was complete with a pink and white rug in the middle of the floor and a white toy chest in the corner. 

 

The days passed and Hinata’s due date was hurtling towards them. It was a warm June morning when Hinata had his first contraction. 

 

“What was that?” He asked. “Was that a- that was a contraction! Kageyama, she’s coming!”

 

He squealed with laughter and Kageyama grabbed his hands. “Calm down, let’s get to the hospital.”

 

They were on their way to the hospital, which was a fair distance outside of Karasuno, when the contractions got more intense. Hinata’s happiness dwindled into discomfort and Kageyama began to worry. 

 

“I-Is it supposed to be this- this bad?” Hinata asked. He was positively sweating and wore a pained expression. 

 

“We’re almost there,” Kageyama assured, driving faster. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

 

They reached the hospital and Kageyama found a wheelchair to bring Hinata inside. He approached the front desk and told the woman that his mate was in labor and they got them to a room on the delivery floor. 

 

Hours of labor passed and none of it was how Kageyama imagined it would be. He thought Hinata would be bubbly and excited, even while in pain, and that their baby would come soon and voila- they had a family. Instead, Hinata was grumpy and it was a whole twenty four hours before he was even close to being dilated enough. 

 

“I don’t have a good feeling about this,” Hinata whined. 

 

“It’ll be fine,” Kageyama assured. “Soon we’ll get to meet her, and we’ll be parents.”

 

Hinata smiled softly at him but his expression turned into a grimace when another contraction overtook him. Within the next few hours, he was dilated enough and it was time to push. 

 

“You can do this,” Kageyama said as sweat poured down Hinata’s forehead. 

 

“Alright, get ready to push,” the doctor said. 

 

Hinata nodded and did so. The groan of pain that came out of his throat shook Kageyama more the louder it got. Hinata’s face was twisted up and eventually he slumped back. 

 

“Can’t do it,” he breathed.

 

“Yes you can,” Kageyama said. “You’re so close, you can do it.”

 

“One more big push,” a nurse encouraged. 

 

With one last scream, Hinata gave all he had and Kageyama continued to hold his hand through all of it. 

 

It was then that everything went wrong. 

 

“He’s bleeding a lot,” someone said. 

 

“Get the baby breathing,” came another voice. 

 

“Where’s my baby,” Hinata whispered. “Where is she, why isn’t she crying?”

 

“He’s hemorrhaging,” a nurse yelled. 

 

Hinata was pale, too pale. 

 

“What’s happening,” Kageyama said.

 

“Sir, we need you to step out of the room,” a voice said as hands grabbed his shoulders and pulled him to the hallway. 

 

Kageyama barely got a glimpse of a tiny baby, covered in blood and afterbirth, before he was ushered out. 

 

Hinata was taken away. 

 

So was the baby. 

 

There were words of sympathy. 

 

“Do you need to call someone?”

 

“He’s still in surgery, I wish I could tell you more.”

 

“We did everything we could, but your daughter was stillborn.”

 

It was too much. All of it was too much. Kageyama shut down at some point, but he gathered himself enough to call Suga. He couldn’t quite remember what he said, but the other setter said he was on his way. 

 

Eventually, Kageyama was brought back to a hospital room. Hinata was lying on the bed with a bag of blood filtering into his arm and Kageyama sat himself down in a chair. Soon, Hinata stirred and his eyes opened. 

 

“Tobio,” he said. “Where’s our baby?”

 

Kageyama exhaled. “They, ah... They tried everything, but...”

 

He trailed off and Hinata seemed to know exactly what he meant. He let out a wail and Kageyama closed his eyes, wincing at the sound. 

 

“No,” Hinata sobbed. “No, no!”

 

Kageyama grasped his hand and held on tight. That’s all he could do, really, because Hinata cried until he fell back asleep. 

 

Suga and Daichi came eventually. Hinata was still asleep at this point and when they walked in, Suga engulfed Kageyama in a hug. 

 

“I’m so sorry,” he said.

 

Kageyama opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He settled for a simple nod. 

 

The drop that came after their loss was inevitable- so much so that they didn’t even try to prevent it. Hinata was given IV nutrients because he would refuse to eat and he was watched constantly to make sure he was okay. He stopped eating, drinking, and talking, only sleeping and staring forlornly at the ceiling. All he needed was support, and Kageyama stayed by his bedside to give it to him. 

 

It was the middle of the fourth night there that Hinata spoke for the first time. 

 

“I don’t want to be alive.”

 

Kageyama jumped awake from his light sleep. “What?”

 

“I don’t want to be alive.”

 

”Don’t say that,” Kageyama demanded. “Don’t.”

 

“But I-“

 

“I almost lost both of you,” Kageyama said. “They told me she was gone and at the same time, you were in emergency surgery. I thought I lost both of you and I can’t deal with that. It’s bad enough we lost her, I can’t lose you too. I can’t do it.”

 

Hinata looked him in the eyes. “We need to name her.”

 

Kageyama was dumbfounded for a second. They hadn’t gotten around to that yet, had they? All this planning and eagerness to have a child, and they hadn’t thought of a name. They kept putting it off because they thought the name would just come to them like some sort of epiphany, but it hadn’t. Not yet. 

 

Then, it came to him. 

 

“Angel.”

 

Hinata’s eyes widened and the emotion seemed to come back to his face. “Angel.” He tried the word out. “That’s good. Angel.”

 

Hinata continued to look at him and Kageyama leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his nose. 

 

“We’ll be okay,” Kageyama said. “We can get through this.”

 

Hinata nodded quietly and trained his eyes back on the ceiling. 

 

After the next couple of days, Hinata started eating again. Once the life came back to his eyes, he was discharged. They went home and spent most of the next few days laying on Kageyama’s bed, hugging each other. The grief was paralyzing and neither of them wanted to do much. 

 

They recovered, slowly but surely. Things returned to normal and Hinata’s smile came back gradually and Kageyama’s biting sarcasm came back as well. School started up again and they got several questions from classmates that had seen Hinata pregnant the year before. It was with heavy hearts that they informed them that their baby was stillborn. They received many condolences and a lot of sympathy and it reopened the wound just a little bit. 

 

A few months into their second year, Kageyama had the desire to try again. He knew Hinata would be reluctant, but if this worked out then maybe they’d feel better because they needed a baby, they needed some hope in this life and some sign that it wasn’t all bad. 

 

“Are you sure?” Hinata asked when Kageyama presented the idea to him. “I don’t know about this.”

 

“I want to,” Kageyama said. “I really... I really want to. Please.”

 

Hinata looked at him dubiously. “Okay, sure.”

 

The next pregnancy was an emotional one. Hinata was a nervous wreck and every time he felt even a little worried, he ran to the doctor only to be assured that he and the baby were both fine. 

 

As the months passed, Kageyama’s anxiety grew along with his mate’s. He spent every waking moment worrying about Hinata and whenever they were apart, he couldn’t focus or eat or do anything. Kageyama was constantly worried that something would happen to him or the baby. 

 

It was nine months later that they realized that their anxiety wasn’t needed. 

 

They had a healthy baby girl and, though Hinata did experience some bleeding again, everyone was fine. Everything was okay. Everyone was happy. 

 

“What should we call her?” Hinata looked up at his alpha while holding their beautiful daughter, swaddled in cloth. 

 

Kageyama thought for a second. “Hope,” he said. 

 

Hinata looked back at the girl. 

 

“Hope.”

 

They weren’t married. They had a daughter, though, so they might as well have been. They would be, soon, because they had already promised to be there for each other, for better or for worse.