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Welcome to Reality

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☝︎( ᐛ )☝︎~🎶

Kei almost couldn't believe it, but at the same time he had always known.

He had just woken up and
the first thing he had seen was his husband on the news, a picture of him kissing another man with a
blaring headline of "Star of Japan's National Volleyball Team caught cheating!"

He didn't know what he felt first, the numbness, the anger, or the shock.

All he knew is he was suddenly hissing in pain, the sting of the scalding hot coffee burning his feet from the mug he had just dropped.

Well, at least this pain was physical and something he could deal with.

☝︎( ᐛ )☝︎~🎶

Once he had cleaned up the mess and nursed the worse of his burns, Kei found himself curled up in
a ball on the living room couch, feet aching and heartbeat pounding.

After sitting there what felt like for hours, Kei finally checked his phone which had been lighting up like crazy from it's spot on the table where Kei had left it when he had gone to get his coffee.

His world hadn't been turned on its side yet at that point and he kind of wishes he could go back to being the Kei of this morning, back to being oblivious and happy.

Slowly, arm somewhat numb from the position he had had it curled in, Kei reached for the device, tapping it twice to bring the screen to life. He flinched slightly at his wallpaper which was selfie of him and Koutar-Bokuto during a date earlier in the month.

Trying not to dwell on it, Kei forced himself to check his notification bar which displayed that he had well over 20 missed calls. Clicking on his phone icon he saw most of the missed calls were from Koutar-Bokuto. The rest from Tadashi, Kuroo, his brother and Akaashi Keiji.

Akaashi. That was surprising. Was he going to call and deny that he was the one in the picture? That
last night he hadn't been caught kissing Bokuto in what seemed to have been a long lasting affair?

Kei felt his heart clench tightly, the betrayal of his lover and one of his supposedly best friend's hurt horribly.

His eyes stung, unshed tears building up as he blinked trying to keep the tears at bay. He absolutely did not want to cry over them.

They didn't deserve his sadness.

He allowed the anger of being betrayed, decieved, cast aside as if he was nothing to the dual colored haired man, to overtake him instead. That was all they were going to get from Kei.

He didn't even dare to check his social media or text messages, clearing the notifications and
deactivating his accounts instead.

Once that was done he opened the little green phone icon again, not even bothering to open his contacts. He dialed a number he knew better than his own, heart pounding as the phone rang.

The person answered on the second ring.

"Kei," Tadashi's voice came through, voice soft and familiar.

Though Tadashi was worried about his friend he knew Kei didn't handle being questioned very well especially when scared or stressed.

Tadashi tried to keep his voice calm and saved his questions for later. "I'm so sorry."

Kei bit his lip, unable to stop the tears this time. "Why am I so unlovable?" He sobbed, hand tightening around his phone.

He hadn't meant to cry, but he couldn't help it since Tadashi was the person he'd depended on for comfort and support for the longest time.

Kei could never really hide anything from him, especially when it came to feelings and emotions.

Kei had always been insecure, especially when it came to emotional ties to people and his importance to them.

Even with Bokuto and them having been in a relationship for over a decade, he felt like he wasn't good enough for him. That even when Bokuto said he loved him, he couldn't help but feel like Bokuto was just settling with him.

While over time his insecurities had lessened, they never really disappeared. Bokuto cheating on him proved to himself that just like he thought, he wasn't worth loving.

"Tadashi I need to get out of here, I can't...I can't be here." more broken sobs came from the blonde. "He's everywhere!"

Clenching his phone tightly Tadashi felt his heart break. He never wanted to hear Kei like this. He cursed Bokuto and Akaashi in
his mind silently.

"I'll be there in 20." Tadashi assured, voice still firm but soft. The brunette was already pulling on a jacket and going for his car keys.

He was due to go in for a 12 hour shift tonight at the hospital, but he wouldn't let a few hours of lost sleep get between him and helping his best friend. "Do you want me to talk to Aki-nii and Kuroo? They're both worried as well."

Tadashi was slipping on his shoes now, taking the cup of coffee Yachi handed him, her eyes laced with worry and hand lingering on his for a second in support. She knew it was hard for him to have to see Kei hurting, it was hard for her as well having become close with her fellow blonde over the years.

They had seen the news this morning after Tadashi had recieved a text from Akiteru simply reading: I'M GOING TO KILL BOKUTO KOUTAROU. HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEWS YET??

Tadashi and Yachi had both been shocked, keeping their cell phones close as they waited for news from Kei.

As much as Tadashi wanted to rush over, they still had their kids to take care of and he figured if he hadn't heard back from Kei by the time he went to drop off the kids at school he'd stop by Kei's apartment on the way home.

Forgetting Tadashi couldn't see him, Kei nodded. "P-please," the watery reply came.

"Of course Kei. See you soon."

Kei was the one who hung up, his finger swiping across his screen in a familiar motion, body uncurling.

He put his phone down in his lap, mind going miles a minute. He tried to stop crying, but he was hurting and the tears couldn't seem to stop now that they started, his vision going blurry behind his glasses.


He nearly jumped, the voice he wanted to least hear right now coming from his phone, which had slid down against his thigh when he got startled.

The call must've been coming in right when he was done talking to Tadashi. He bit his tongue to cut
off his sobs, wincing at the sting.

He reached for the phone with a shaking hand, dropping it as Bokuto continued to talk, mostly
renditions of "Kei?" and "It's not what you think!"

Finally, he scooped up the phone and quickly hung up.

He didn't want Bokuto Koutarou's half assed excuses.

☝︎( ᐛ )☝︎~🎶

The dial tone rang out, Bokuto groaning in frustration as he hung up throwing his phone on the bed
as he ran a hand through his hair.

He honestly wasn't surprised that Kei was ignoring him. He had been cheating and there was nothing
else to it.

Koutarou had tried justifying his actions, not only to his friends and family but to himself as well. He had wanted to play it off when he saw that all they had was a picture of him and Keiji. He wanted to tell Kei that Keiji had kissed him in a druken stupor but that Koutarou, like a good husband, pushed him off and left. He was sure Kei would believe him.

But then, when the video of him and Keiji kissing and basically grinding on each other started getting shared online and on the news, he knew he was screwed. At this point, there really was nothing to say beyond admitting the truth.

He did love Kei, but sometimes the blonde wasn't enough. He didn't have the history Bokuto and Akaashi did nor the understanding.

The blonde did try, and he had improved with expressing his feelings and not closing himself off ever since they had gotten together, Bokuto could give him that.

But it would never be enough.

He looked over at Akaashi who was pacing back and forth. His eyes were red rimmed having cried once they had see they had been caught.

He too loved Kei. They had weekly outings and every weekend they made sure to meet up for

It hurt him to know he had done something to hurt the blonde who had confided in him and trusted him explicably when he had no reason to.

He had worked hard to get Kei to open up to him, it had taken years of friendship to reach the level
of trust they had with each other.

In a blink of an eye it was all gone.

Bokuto knew Akaashi was blaming himself. He was as much to
blame as Bokuto after all.

Bokuto stood and hugged the man from behind. Akaashi curled in on himself, tears coming to his
eyes again.

"We're horrible," he whispered. Bokuto remained silent, arms still firm around Akaashi's waist.

His heart was torn but he didn't regret anything beyond dragging poor Kei into all of this.

"We're in love," Bokuto told him firmly. "Yeah, we made some messed up choices but it doesn't
make us horrible 'kaashi."

Akaashi shook his head, voice but a whisper between the sobs. "We hurt him. He trusted us and we
hurt him."

Bokuto only tightened his grip, eyes catching sight of the wedding ring he usually wore sitting on the
bedside table next to Akaashi's bed.

Maybe they were horrible. Love had a way of making people stupid.

☝︎( ᐛ )☝︎~🎶

Kuroo was absolutely furious.

He was on his way over to Kei's one hand gripping the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were white, his other hand on his thigh, fingers tapping away.

He had just gotten off the phone with Tadashi though he had been worried about Kei since earlier
that morning, even making sure to call out of work so he'd be available should the blonde need him.

He knew sometimes he'd have to push Tsukki to accept help. He also knew sometimes though the blonde would prefer not to be bothered until he reached out to someone.

Kuroo figured in this case that he might want to blow off some steam or cry-Tsukki was always wary of crying in front of others- for a bit before anyone saw him Tadashi,
Kuroo and Akiteru included.

Though all three had seen the blonde cry on numerous occasions it didn't mean they had seen the tears when they first came.

Kuroo continued to drive, thinking about how he had found out about Bokuto and Akaashi in the
middle of the night.

He had been up grading his student's essays and watching some videos of the National Volleyball team all warm and cozy in his bed when suddenly a notification popped up on his phone.

Curious, he put his reading glasses on one hand still petting his cat Shiro. He only had a few apps and e-mail notifications enabled, so surely it must be something important or hopefully entertaining.

Waiting for the page to
load, he was shocked when the an article was displayed, the title reading "Famous Volleyball Player Caught in an Affair".

Kuroo's blood ran cold. He knew almost all the players on the national team personally, having been a player on the team until about 2 years ago.

He couldn't believe one of the boys would be so heartless as to cheat on their significant other.

Against his better judgement, he scrolled on, heart stopping when he saw a familiar hairdo, spiky
black and grey hair that was unmistakable.

The boy in his arms was also another well known figure to Kuroo.

Akaashi wasn't hard to miss, and
Kuroo's heart broke even more.

Anger, shock, disbelief.

He felt all of this and more. Part of him wanted to be rational and assume they were just hanging out together but the video of them kissing, hugging and just having a good time was more than enough
evidence that an affair was going on.

His heart ached for Kei who was sure to be heartbroken. Kei, who had spent so many years in love
and dedicated to Koutarou and even longer having been dedicated to a friendship with Akaashi.

He would never admit it, but the darker side of his heart was a bit happy, maybe now Tetsurou
himself would have a chance with the blonde.

Kuroo smacked himself lightly on his cheeks. Now was not the time to be thinking of this.

He needed to focus on Kei who had been betrayed and needed his support.

He continued to drive, thoughts drifting to the conversation he had had with Bokuto earlier that

He hadn't tried to deny anything, he had pleaded a bit for Kuroo to understand his situation but
stopped once he realized he wasn't going to get any sympathy from his best friend.

"You told me you'd protect him," Kuroo had all but spat into the reciever of his phone. "But I guess
that's just another lie you told."

The intake of breath Bokuto took could be heard, his soft humorless laugh followed.

"Guess I'm nothing but a lying sack of shit," he said softly. "For what it's worth I am sorry. I did try
to protect him, just, I couldn't protect him from me. I'm sorry Tetsu."

"Whatever. I hope you and Akaashi are happy."

"Please...just...please take care of him."

"...Just worry about yourself. You've done enough damage."

Kuroo had hung up then, flinging his phone in anger. He sat down heavily, running his hands through his hair.

He was mad because his best friend betrayed the boy he loved, a boy he had been pinning after for
quite sometime, a boy who was also one of his best friends.

He was mad because someone he trusted decieved him and his friend to steal the other man.

He was mad that for people who promised to be there unconditionally and who were supposed to trust each other betrayed that trust without hesitation.

He was sad for Kei who had truly loved Bokuto with everything he had.

He was sad for the bond none of
them would ever regain.

Kuroo hated being an adult more than anything sometimes.

Chapter Text

☝︎( ᐛ )☝︎~🎶

[15 years ago]


/From (Kou) : cant wait 2 see u!!♡♡♡♡/

Kei couldn't help the small smile that came from reading the text as he wiped his face off with a towel.

Practice had just finished and he finally had time to check his phone. Two unread texts greeted him, one from his boyfriend Bokuto Koutarou who lived in Tokyo, a second year at university whom Kei was going to visit this weekend. The other was from Kuroo Tetsurou, a stray cat with demonic hair who was a close friend.

He reread his boyfriend's text, sending back a simple 'can't wait to see you too.' before putting his phone back in his bag so he could change.


The word still gave him butterflies.

It had only been a few months since he and Koutarou had officially begun dating and it was still so surreal.

They had met during a training camp when Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji and Kuroo Tetsurou had taken Kei, Lev and Hinata under their wings well, under paws as well as far as Kuroo was concerned.

Though Kuroo was mainly Kei's mentor, showing him different blocking techniques it had been Bokuto who alongside Kuroo helped motivate Kei and bring out more of his potential. They helped Kei remember what it was he loved about volleyball in the first place.

That had been back when Kei was a first year while the other two boys had been third years as well as captains of their respective teams.

Now, Kei was a third year as well and captain of his volleyball team with Tadashi, his ever loyal best friend as his vice captain.

Kei swears that Kuroo and Bokuto had cursed him into being a captain, even to this day.

He had told them that they had cursed him into captaincy when at the end of his second year Ukai had asked if Kei would be captain and after getting home he called to tell Koutarou and Kuroo the news.

They were the first people he told outside of Tadashi who he told after practice. Seeing as Koutarou and Kuroo were roommates, he figured having Koutarou put him on speaker phone would kill two birds with one stone and spare him the emoji spam the boys would surely send his way if he told them by text.

They laugh at his curse talk, Kei giving them a bit of grief.

"At least you didn't curse me with crazy hair like your guy's hair."

"Rude Tsukki!" Kuroo says before breaking out in his hyena laugh.

"Babe!" Koutarou whines and Kei can almost imagine the pout he's wearing, a chuckle escaping him at the image.

"It's okay bro," Kuroo pats Koutarou's shoulder comfortingly, recovered from his laughing fit. He lived for Kei's sarcastic humor. Whenever they texted or called each other Kei and Kuroo would often have sarcastic banters which amused the both of them. "I for one love your awesome hair."

"Thanks bro!"

Kei is humored and listens on as they let themselves into the apartment before they leave him briefly, both promising to return soon and for Kei to not hang up.

He had caught them on the way up to their apartment after volleyball practice. After they put their stuff down and change they continue talking to him and congratulate him on his new postion, both brimming with pride.

Kei is sitting on his bed, knees pulled to his chest and his newest dino plushie (One Koutarou had gotten for him on their first date) pulled close as he listens to them bicker in the background for a bit as they move around getting dinner set up.

Kei wouldn't admit it to anyone but Tadashi that he was nervous, if not a bit excited as well, but mostly nervous because what if he isn't as good a captain as Ennoshita and Daichi?

"You're gonna do great babe," Koutarou says now stirring a pot of curry they had spent the last thirty minutes making. "You're gonna be so awesome and you bet I'm going to brag to everyone how the awesome Karasuno captain is my boyfriend."

Kei's heart beats a bit faster as he clears his throat, face flushing. Koutarou always seemed to know what to say and though it was often cheesy and endearing stuff, it made him feel so cared for that over time it had overrode the embarassment he'd feel.

"Thanks Kou," he whispers in response. "I don't know though, I still think they should've gone with Tadashi, or even Hinata-"

"Shhhhhh, none of that negative talk." Koutarou cuts in alongside Kuroo's yells of agreement. "Nobody expects you to be a perfect captain. You're gonna make mistakes and that's okay."

"Yeah! Plus, that's why you have a vice-captain too! Remember, you're not alone Tsukki. You can depend on Yamaguchi, and hey, we're always here if you need advice." Kuroo adds, as he passes by the phone to fill up their bowls with rice.

They don't give Kei time to dwell on the bad for long, and as they eat Koutarou and Kuroo drawl on and on about all the fun times, crazy times and even funny mistakes they made as captains of their volleyball teams.

By the time the call ends Kei feels more sure of himself than he had before and he can't help but wish he was in Tokyo, sitting with them, hand in Koutarou's as they chat.

Sometimes, he can't help but wonder what Koutarou sees in him. Koutarou, who is so handsome, and sweet and kind and energetic whereas Kei is more reserved, quicker to be pessimistic and so harsh with his words.

He had been shocked when Koutarou had asked if he'd want to go on a date.

They had exchanged numbers after training camp, and at the time had been texting over a few weeks time, later moving on to video calls- often times along with Kuroo and Akaashi with whom Kei had also traded contact info with- and while at first Kei wasn't too sure how to respond, they all took it in stride and let him open up to them in his own time.

Kei was relieved that they didn't reject or push him away because he was so reserved and sarcastic. He found that being their friend and confiding in them became easier over time.

Kei had been shocked that he found himself looking forward to talking to each of them but it was nice.

He liked having new friends, especially Koutarou who was like a bright light in Kei's world. They would talk about everything and anything from volleyball to the most random things.

Koutarou asked what he liked, always sounding interested in what Kei had to say no matter what.

Whenever Kei was down or vulnerable he would find Koutarou giving him lots of support and joking with him, never daunted by Kei's sarcasm and being serious whenever they ventured into matters like Kei's insecurities.

It wasn't too shocking when he found himself developing a crush on Koutarou.

Tadashi found out about it almost as soon as it happened, giving Kei his unwavering support and a little wiggle of the eyebrows whenever he saw Kei light up at whatever was on his phone knowing it was more likely than not Koutarou.

"I know you're scared," he'd tell Kei before he and Koutarou had become an item. They would often work together on homework and Tadashi would watch the mix of emotions cross his best friend's face whenever he was worrying over how to reply to Koutarou. "But, maybe you should give this a chance. Maybe it's not as one sided as you think."

Kei found himself going out of his comfort zone whenever Koutarou was concerned, especially because Koutarou would push him to try new things and taught him so much at the same time about feelings and connections.

Sometimes, he'd get rubbed the wrong way when Koutarou pushed too much and he'd find himself being curt with the boy. Koutarou would get sad sometimes when this happened.

Later on in their relationship when they would lay in bed wrapped in each others arms they would talk whether whatever they said was painful or not, words that were honest and left them exposed and raw with each other.

During one of these times, Kei lightly running his fingers through Kou's hair as Kou talked, his voice rough from sleep, found out that Kou would often be sad at himself for hurting his friend rather than sad at Kei's treatment.

He'd often make it up to the blonde by apologizing or giving him space and learning to know when to push Kei and when not to.

Kei would meet him halfway, apologizing as well, head turned away and hands clasped in front of him nervously if he had been particularly harsh or knew he could've told Koutarou to stop in a less hurtful manner.

They were learning so much about each other, helping each other grow and though it was sometimes painful, Kei didn't regret it, though he did feel bad sometimes.

One such time was first time Kei had encountered Koutarou in one of his moods and he hadn't known what to do. He found himself being the one to reach out and just, trying so hard to cheer him up.

Afterwords, when he was feeling better Koutarou had sent him a text saying thanks and telling Kei just how his presence helped and Kei's heart soared.

Kei found himself nervously asking Akaashi, who soon became Keiji-kun, if it was okay if they could have a call the day after Koutarou had texted Kei.

Akaashi agreed and was greeted by a shy Kei. They talked for a bit catching up when Kei took a deep breath.

"Akaashi-san I know you and Bokuto are close and...I was wondering if it's okay...I mean..."

Akaashi watched on slightly amused as his friend turned pink, his hands fidgeting, before he clasped them in front of himself in his classic nervous habit.

"Could you tell me how I can help Bokuto whenever he's feeling down?"

Kei's voice had gotten smaller, his face fully flushed now. Akaashi found it endearing and after a few moments of silence put Kei out of his misery with a small nod.

"Of course. I don't mind at all Tsukishima-san. What do you want to know?"

They talked for what seemed like hours, ending the call when Kei had to have dinner.

"Thanks again Akaashi," Kei told him.

"It's no problem at all. Have a good night Tsukishima-san."

The small smile Akaashi gave him had stunned Kei and he couldn't help but smile back before the video call disconnected.

Akaashi was practically attached at the hip to Koutarou so he had been on the recieving end of Koutarou's pining rants, often ending with the boy saying he'd never have a chance with someone as pretty and as smart as Tsukki.

Akaashi was happy to see that Koutarou's feelings weren't as one-sided as the boy thought and even dropped a few hints that Kei might've been asking him about Bokuto and the blinding grin Bokuto gave was almost as sweet as the disbelief that crossed his face.

A week later Bokuto decided it was now or never and sent Tsukki a text asking if he'd like to go out.

Akaashi and Kuroo held his hands as they waited for the blonde's response, both taking turns to tease and keep him calm whenever he seemed like he was going to get dejected.

/hoot hoot hoot/

Bokuto dropped their hands and reached for his phone, hands shaking.

/From (Tsukki): Yes./


And the rest was history.

☝︎( ᐛ )☝︎~🎶

Koutarou Bokuto and Tsukishima Kei dated from when Kei was 16 up until he was 24 and no longer a Tsukishima, but now a Bokuto happy and forever in awe of the golden band he now wore on his left hand, it's matching pair resting on Koutarou's hand which he grabbed at every chance he could just to stare at the rings until the awe settled in.

They were far from the perfect couple, often times having fights over silly things and even bigger fights where they would find themselves having to distance themselves by crashing on Kuroo's or Tadashi's couch before they would come back together and work through whatever was going on.

During one of the Bokuto's sillyer fights which resulted in Kei taking refuge at the Yamaguchi household Tadashi had told Kei, his voice soft but humor laced, that this was the exact reason that whenever he and Yachi got new couches he would always take a roll of measuring tape with him to make sure that Kei would fit on it.

From his place on the couch, a glasses-less Kei rolled over and lifted his head a bit to glare at his friend who was chuckling.

"Shut up Yamaguchi," he mumble without any bite, rolling back over with a barely there pout.

"Sorry Tsukki," Tadashi replied, voice still laced with humor as he walked over, patting Kei's head softly before going to walk to his room Tsukki's soft "Thanks for always thinking of me." Not lost on him.

Kei /was/ grateful for all that even if he was sad or hurt, at least he didn't have to wake up curled up and achey.

The biggest fight that Kei and Koutarou had had was when they were dating. During their 5th anniversary the fight broke out, spanned over 2 weeks and ultimately resulted in them taking a break for nearly a year but they found their way back to each other in the end.

They had made so many memories together over the years from early on when they would travel to see each other before Kei had moved to Tokyo to the dates they had making places sacred to them that they would find themselves going to even as they hit their 30's, the nostalgia and familiarity comforting to them.

Their first apartment together had been a small one bedroom place which was often home to random piles of textbooks on the furniture
and volleyball gear all over the place. The memories they made there were irreplaceable. It was small, but it was theirs and that's all that mattered.

Later, textbooks and volleyball stuff packed away they moved into their forever home which was a two bedroom apartment with the second bedroom acting as a in house gym.

Kei and Koutarou made it theirs with a bits and pieces of themselves, shelves lining the walls with little knick knacks like a dinosaur figure or a owl figurine and in the living room pictures lined the walls. Volleyball gear could still be found in random parts of the apartment, and textbooks turned into articles and books Kei read for research.

Kei often worked in the living room whenever he had the chance to work from home. He'd curl up on the couch, still in his pajamas with his favorite throw blanket covering him and laptop balanced precariously on his lap.

Every once in a while he'd take a break and push his glasses up to rub his eyes, tired for staring at the computer for so long. As his glasses settled on his face again he'd take a second to admire the pictures that hung on the wall, right by the window, the view of Tokyo's skyline outline with the things Kei loved.

Kei's favorite picture on that wall was one of their wedding pictures which showed Kei in a white tuxedo and Koutarou in a grey one, both smiling at each other as they held hands at the alter.

Kou's face was tear stained, and Kei's was flushed. He would never admit it, but he had been teary eyed after Kou's heartfelt vows and he had had to take a second to compose himself before he had read his vows, almost crying as well.

Kei's next favorite was the one where they were posed with their families and their best men who had been Tadashi and Kuroo who were family no matter what.

Kei would later argue, that realistically, Tadash was his mom's favorite son. Tadashi would always laugh at the declaration, but made no arguments against it. He loved when Kei's mom dotted on him.

He would look over everyone's faces, from the soft smiles of his family, to the huge grins on his brother's, Kou's parents and Kou's younger brother's faces.

Kuroo had been smirking and looking over at Kei and Kou instead of the camera which got him a scolding and pinch on the cheek from Kei's sister-in-law Saeko, where upon the bedheaded man rubbed the back of his head and smiled apologeticly.

Tadashi smiled, but it was lopsided since his daughter, their flower girl, poked her father's cheek with a cheeky grin of her own.

He'd wander on to the picture next to that was one of Kou and Kei during their first dance as husbands, Kuroo having taken the picture, catching Kei crying as he and Kou were pressed close, hands clasped together and foreheads pressed against each other.

He never got tired of looking at those pictures.

The Bokuto's spent a fair amount of time there at the apartment as of late but at first with both their careers starting off there was times when they would leave for weeks on end and they had Kuroo come by if he wasn't too busy to check on the apartment and water Kei's plants.

Kei was always dedicated to following and supporting Koutarou's career as a volleyball player, going to matches when he could and wearing Koutarou's jersey in the stands proudly.

He'd visit his husband when the national team was away, especially if a dig site or museum he was working for was nearby.

During the off season, they both did their best to be back home wrapped in each other for however long they had.

Recently they had been talking of settling down, Bokuto wanting to retire and be a volleyball coach and Kei wanting to work at the museum in Tokyo only and not taking on as many excavations abroad.

They were planning on adopting one or two children-something they had talked about at length, as well as maybe getting a pet.

Kei looked at the adoption papers in his hand, feeling his heart ache as he ripped them apart.

They had been happy. Well, at least he thought they had been. But now, even the thought of the plans they had made hurt beyond belief.

The present Kei, the Kei who was 31 years old and sat in the living room of what was supposed to be his forever home was not happy.

His eyes were red and puffy, face stained with tear marks, mouth and throat dry from the sobbing he had done after getting off the phone with Tadashi.

He felt the adoption papers, what was left of them, slip through his fingers as he leaned back against the couch, hands tiredly pushing his glasses aside as he rubbed at his eyes.

The Kei of 15 years ago would probably be shocked that he of all people would cry this much over one person. But that Kei wouldn't understand because he had never felt such heartbreak.

Letting out a sigh Kei leaned forward with his face pressed into his hands. Any minute now Tadashi or his brother or Kuroo would arrive and then he could leave, catch his breath, get a second to breath.

He felt too suffocated being surrounded by all the reminders of Kouta-Bokuto. Sure, he could get up and walk out the door and be done with it, but he felt too numb to even do that.

Pathetic, Kei thought /This/ is why we never give our all. All you end up as is hurt. When will you learn Kei? When will you learn?

Hearts hurt when broken. But when they were entirely destroyed?

Well, Kei could only hope that he had enough pieces of his poor heart to keep himself together.

Chapter Text

Hey, just wanted to give a real quick update to let y'all know I haven't forgotten about this fic!! I've had very limited access to internet lately as well as personal things going on, but, if thing's go as plan Chapters 3 and 4 will be up by the end of next week! I would like to thank everyone in the mean time for your patience and support! If you have any questions or just wanna talk please feel free to reach out to me on Twitter at: @briooooooo

I seriously cannot believe how much love this fic has gotten y'all are the reason I keep writing so thank you all 😭💖

Have a good day and see you soon!