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I Have No Idea

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Three ringing thuds. Three hollow steps closer to your hiding place on the cargo bay of an Alternian transport ship to Earth. You have narrowly avoided death in the ship a minimum of 3 times. It seems like 3 may be your unlucky number. You let in a deep intake of breath, and remain still. If you are caught, you will be killed for avoidance of your hatched duty.

Your name is Kanaya Maryam, and you ARE NOT A HIGHBLOOD. You are considered a simple MIDBLOOD by some. Your duties LIE IN THE BROODING CAVERNS, where you will NEVER FEEL THE SUN AGAIN. The idea irks you, to never feel the warmth of the blistering Alternian sun, being one of the only who can STAND and ENJOY its rays. You would never grow plants again, but rather KILL WRIGGLERS UNWORTHY OF LIFE on Alternia. The thought alone disgusts you.

You are a SEAMSTRESS, and have great fervor for FASHION, DESIGN, and LIVELY PATTERNS. You are adequate with a CHAINSAW hidden by your MAKEUPKIND specibus, which you embraced with the enjoyable activity of TOPIARY and LANDSCAPING. You were raised by a VIRGIN MOTHER GRUB, being your blood color. After the sun went down on Alternia you would submerge yourself in books of RAINBOW DRINKERS and SHADOW DROPPERS and FORBIDDEN PASSION.

Your trolltag was and still is grimAuxiliatrix which you used to contact your friends on Earth. You are the last of your friends to make the perilous journey to Earth, and you have been unable to contact them since boarding the ship. You have been on the ship for 3 days. Once again a reason to have a deeply lying resentment for that number. Or perhaps because you haven’t had any troll interactions in 3 days that you are simply growing paranoid. Either or, you know that Karkat, your moirail, is growing worried for you with every minute. You hadn’t thought that you wouldn’t be able to communicate, and simply had told him you would troll him when you were in a secure location. You are well aware that you will be harassed (pale, of course) when you get to him.

Back to the present. You sit in silence, behind a few crates and boxes, so close to the troll that you can hear their breathing. A few seconds of waiting, the troll from the crew walked away. You let out the breath you were holding, refusing to move for fear of detection. Even when there was no one around you tread stealthily through the bay. There were no cameras, to your absolute relief, and trolls often dropped full plates of uneaten food through the waste chute. You haven’t had to resort to digging through the trash yet, as you stocked yourself enough food to last a week. You still have about 3 days left of food, and you feel as though the trip may end soon. You know your friends did not have very long trips, and you know the pilots of this cargo ship seem to be in a rush to transport this… whatever this is. You are highly certain it is sopor, which is as far as you have been let on, is illegal on Earth.

You slink back to your main hiding spot, hidden behind exactly 76 huge crates. You counted on the second day of your trip. In your spot is a simple sleeping bag, multiple unopened sopor patches, and for whatever reason, an oddly placed, but convenient light. The light never turns off, and you use this to your advantage, so you can read your rainbow drinker novels in mediocre safety. You slide yourself into your sleeping bag, and pull a book out of your sylladex. “In Which A Jade Blooded Rainbow Drinker’s Indigo Blood Pale Quadrant Confesses Their Flushed Feelings And The Jade Blood’s Mustard Blooded Black Quadrant Is Mediated By A Cerulean Blooded Shadowdropper In The Black Quadrant With The Jade Blood’s Pale Quadrant-Turned-Flushed Quadrant.” It truly is an amazing piece of literature, and you have read it multiple times. You are currently on the 6th chapter, where the mustard blood is introduced. You flip to the 6th chapter, and begin reading.

A few minutes of reading later, a slightly muffled bang is heard, something shakes the ship. You practically launch your novel into your sylladex, and hold yourself still. You fear for what could possibly be occuring. You doubt anyone has discovered your presence in the cargo bay, however, you cannot be too careful in such a situation. You stay still and listen, until you hear the bay doors beginning to open. Your eyes widen, and you gather your belongings into your sylladex, and silently crawl around the crates to peek around the corner. By far not your smartest move, but after 3 long days you are very eager to leave this awful ship and its awful, drabness and dank stench.

You peek around the corner, and you spot two trolls facing ground outside. Bright, seemingly non-artificial light shines into your eyes, and you are forced to squint. It seems to be paved outside, however beyond chain-link fences is an immense amount of greenery. You can feel it, that this is Earth, and you think of ways to escape undetected. Outside of the ship a few humans appear to be talking with the worker trolls, and you slip back behind the crates. The two trolls must go inside to fetch others eventually, you can escape then, you decide.

You wait for what feels like its own eternity, and finally the trolls go to fetch more to unload the ship. With this, you take the chance to dash out, entirely forgetting about the humans outside. They step in front of you, and you tower over them by at least a single frond. They look up at you, and you practically glower, hoping and praying they will simply allow you to pass. You suppose you did not think so much about what you would do to actually leave the ship. Two of them look at each other, before looking over you and your… ununiformed self.

“Um. Where are you going and, um. Why are you not in uniform like them?” One of them asks. They seem hesitant to ask a question to you, and you are fairly certain a bead of sweat is forming on their forehead. You must be intimidated, mom would be proud.

“I am attempting to leave. I do not work with them.” You answer. Vague, and not telling why you were there. You… are very clever. They look at each other and another one talks this time.

“Why were you on the ship with them if you didn’t work with them? This is a cargo ship, not a transport.” this one squints suspiciously, looking over you. Now it is your time to sweat, you put your hands together behind your back, and fiddle with them.

“They kindly allowed me to ‘hitch a ride’” so to say” You answer. “So if you could… kindly… allow my passage.” You add, taking a few steps forward. The guards take a few more back. They must not actually be guards, now that you think about it. They don’t seem to be holding any weapons, and don’t seem to be very eager to stop you. Not well trained either.

The four humans part to the side and one points to a gray building a short walk away from the ship, most likely some sort of hangar or something.

“There’s an exit to outside if you go in there.” The one that pointed to the gray form says. One of the other guys looks at him like he has gone absolutely mental in the thinkpan.

“You take her there.” The guy says, shoving the one that had spoken towards the building. “Follow him, he’ll take you to the exit.” He adds quickly. These humans are rather cooperative. You must be good at lying to humans you suppose. You nod, and follow the guy who quickly and awkwardly shuffles towards what you will now call the hangar.

“Where exactly.. Are we? How far away from the human city ‘New York’ are we?” You ask him curiously. He looks back at you in a frightened way before answering.

“We’re in New York now. I could, uh, call you a cab if you would like. Do you have.. A certain place in mind?” He answers meekly. You beam at him before shrugging. This is going wonderfully, you coincidentally landed in the right place!

“That is wonderful. Now, what exactly is a.. ‘Cab’?” you ask, thinking. The term is unfamiliar to you. Human lingo, probably. The human lets out a quick, quiet chuckle before quieting.

“A cab is like a car that someone drives in to take you where you want. You’ll want some money, though. You have some, don’t you?”

“Ah, I understand. I do have human money, I believe. I could give my moirail a call if you wouldn’t mind him screaming, he could ask his human matesprit a good place to stop and find them?” You let out a soft laugh. You are so unfamiliar with Earth, however you do believe you have collected some Earth dollars, some of your friends sent you some so you could see how weird it was. They mostly said 1 and 5 on them, so you aren’t sure how much it’s actually worth.

The man nods as you encroach upon the building, and you pull your palmhusk and select ‘Karkat’ the dial hadn’t even sounded once when he picked up, screaming so loudly that you had to hold it with your arm completely outstretched. You make out few words of his garbled words.

“KANAYA YOU’RE---WHY DIDN’T YOU---THOUGHT YOU---DEAD---PILE” you chuckle softly at the device and the human in front of you opens the door with a concerned glance. You shrug and walk into the building, lowering your head so that your horns didn’t hit the frame. The man walks in behind you, and leads you to a spot in the room with chairs.

“You can, uh, sit and talk to him uh, tell me when you’re.. Ready for a cab.” The man says. Now that you think about it, he reminds you of your friend Tavros. You nod and wait a moment until Karkat’s end of the line has quieted, and and put the device up to your face and start to talk.

“Karkat. I’m ok, I promise. I was unable to reach a signal on the ship, and even if I was able to…” You trailed off. You fear that he may tell his cohorts if you say that they may have killed you, and that would be a whole other level of unfortunate.

“The human worker with me has informed that that the ship has landed in New York, where you said you and your human matesprit are settled?” You say this in a questioning tone. You wait a moment for his reply, and you can practically feel his relief.

“Kanaya, Dave’s not my matesprit! You know this, he’s just a friend.” You let out a soft and affectionate laugh at this. “Dave’s… What did you call it?” His end is quiet as he supposedly asks Dave a question. A muffled response is heard in the background, and his mouth is back up against what you assume to be his mobile phone and speaking within seconds.

“Dave’s twin offered to share her respiteblock with you until we get you a block set up. Her name is Rose, by the way.” You let out a hum as a response and think.

“Oh yes, the human worker suggested that I find a place to reach you in a… cab.” You say. “I know nothing about New York, as you know.” Karkat lets out a short, throaty laugh. “The worker kind of reminds me of Tavros, actually.” You chuckle. The worked gives you a look of slight alarm from the corner of his eye, likely assuming that you couldn’t see.

“Can’t we just pick you up? It’d be easier and we wouldn’t have to pay for someone else to do what we can do ourselves.” You nod before remembering he can’t see you.

“Alright, I’ll ask the human where I am located.” You turn to the worker and ask him. The man looks at you for a moment before it hits him that you asked him where you were.

“We’re in the New York SKAIAN Field…” he answers nervously. You nod and relay this to Karkat who tells Dave.

“Alright, we should be there in a few minutes. I’ll send you Rose’s handle so you can… Get to know her I guess? She’s kind of… how do I put this? She kind of reminds me of you but scarier.” You chuckle. “Anyways. I’ll see you then. You better not be some freaky imposter that’s killed my moirail or I’ll strangle you with your own extremities.” You laugh before ending the call. Moments later you’ve received a Trollian message from Karkat.

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 14:06 --

CG: tentacleTherapist CG: THATS ROSE'S CHUMHANDLE.

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 14:06

GA: Thanks

You put your palmhusk down and look at the human, who appears to be avoiding your eyes.

“So.” you begin. “My moirail and his friend should be here in a few minutes.” The guy looks a little flabbergasted at this and you tilt your head.

“The nearest town is like, 30 minutes away. The closest thing to here is… maybe a gas station and a random grocery store.” You shrug.

“My moirail has never lied to me, I believe him when he says that he will be here shortly.” You say, before once again opening your palmhusk and typing in the handle Karkat sent you. ‘tentacleTherapist”. An… odd name, you admit mentally.


-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT] at 14:09 --

GA: Hello
GA: I Am Under The Presumption That This Is Rose
TT: And who might this be?
GA: My Name Is Kanaya
GA: I Have Been Told I Would Be Residing In Your Respiteblock Until My Own Has Been Constructed
TT: Yes, that would be correct.
TT: It is a pleasure to meet you, Kanaya, I am looking forward to meeting you in person.
GA: Yes It Is A Pleasure
TT: I suppose we should attempt to get to know one another before we are stuck with each other for months on end, considering no one in our house other than Karkat seems to take initiative in doing anything productive.
GA: That Sounds Like Karkat
GA: I Suppose We Should
GA: What Sort Of Things Do You Enjoy Doing
TT: Well, I enjoy knitting, writing, and psychoanalysis, particularly on my siblings.
TT: And you, Kanaya?
TT: What do you enjoy doing?
GA: I Like Fashion And Reading Novels About Rainbow Drinkers
TT: Rainbow drinkers, are they vampires for trolls?
GA: I Do Not Know What A Vampire Is
TT: Vampires are creatures of the night that burn in the daylight, cannot see themselves in mirrors, shy away from garlic, and drink human blood.
GA: Then Yes Rainbow Drinkers Are Kind of Like Your Human Vampires
GA: Rainbow Drinkers Can Survive Without Harm In Sunlight
GA: They Also Have Shining Skin
TT: Ha.
GA: What Is Funny
TT: Oh, I thought that was meant to be a joke.
TT: Humans have a series of books about vampires called ‘Twilight’ in which the vampires had sparkling skin.
GA: Oh
GA: I Understand Where You May Have Misunderstood
GA: How Did Karkat Fare With The Sun When He Arrived
TT: If you mean how did he react, he refused to leave the house during the daytime until Dave physically shoved him outside and it did not harm him.
GA: That Sounds About Right
TT: I’m assuming you had no such reaction?
GA: The Sun Has No Effect On Me
GA: I Was One Of The Few Capable Of Standing The Alternian Sun
TT: I see.
GA: Yeah
GA: You Said That You Enjoyed Psychoanalysis
GA: What Did You Mean By That
TT: It means that I enjoy psychologically analyzing people, particularly my friends and family.
GA: Do You Mean That You Analyze Whats Going On In Their Think Pans
TT: Assuming by that think pan you mean brain, then yes.
GA: Yes Think Pan Is Head
TT: As I assumed.
TT: So, how did you arrive on Earth?
GA: I Hitched A Ride On An Alternian Cargo Ship
TT: Sounds dangerous.
GA: Yes
GA: Jadebloods Like Me Are Not Permitted To Leave Alternia Or Else We Face Death For Deserting Our Duties
TT: You won't be in trouble here for leaving?
GA: No
GA: Once We Have Arrived On Earth We Are Basically In A Safe Spot
GA: We Are Invulnerable Once In Earths Atmosphere
TT: I suppose that makes sense.
TT: How long did it take you to arrive?
TT: Not long, I should hope.
GA: Only About Three Days Time
TT: What did you do during this time?
GA: I Read My Novels And Narrowly Avoided My Certain Death
TT: Sounds invigorating.
TT: What kind of novels, care to share the titles?
TT: Or are they the ridiculously long titles that many of your species seem to have?
GA: They Are Of A Reasonable Length
GA: I Mostly Read My Favorite "In Which A Jade Blooded Rainbow Drinkers Indigo Blood Pale Quadrant Confesses Their Flushed Feelings And The Jade Bloods Mustard Blooded Black Quadrant Is Mediated By A Cerulean Blooded Shadowdropper In The Black Quadrant With The Jade Bloods Pale Quadrant-Turned-Flushed Quadrant"
TT: Yikes.
GA: What Is Yikes
GA: That Is One Of The Shorter Book Titles
TT: Is it really?
TT: I don’t think I’ve seen many books with titles much longer than that, if I have.
TT: Troll book titles tend to be very long, and very literal.
GA: Yes
GA: That Is So You Know What Youre Reading So That You Do Not Waste Time Reading What You Do Not Want To
TT: That makes sense, however, I propose to you a book summary.
GA: A What
TT: A book summary.
TT: They are typically on the back cover of a book that give a brief summary of the book without spoiling the entire story.
GA: But That Is Why The Titles Are So Long
TT: Aha!
GA: What
TT: You admitted that the titles were long.
GA: And I May Have
GA: Human Book Titles Are Too Vague
GA: They Dont Even Relate To The Story
TT: Are you sure about that?
GA: Yes
TT: Fair enough.

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] is now an idle chum! --

TT: ?

You slam your palmhusk shut and stand up as a familiar short, messy haired troll practically throws the door open. You smile, and walk towards him and he throws himself into your widespread arms. You are take a step back in surprise before letting out a chuckle and enclosing him in your arms. A muffled voice comes from Karkat and you pull back and tilt your head.

“I missed you so much Kanaya, you can’t even begin to imagine” He repeats himself and you let out an incredibly ladylike snort. Incredibly.

“I think I can imagine, Karkat.” You give him another hug before he pulls back, his gray cheeks now flushed red. You look to the person behind him, a tall (but not near as tall as you) blonde human with sunglasses on watches on, a small smile on his face.

“You must be Dave, it is very nice to meet you” You beam at him and hold out your hand to shake his. He takes it an gives you a nod of his head.

“Nice to meet you, Kanaya.” He says and you give him a smile. “Let’s get out of here before traffic starts up”

Karkat snorts and the human worker behind you clears his throat awkwardly. You all turn to look at him as he speaks.

“I um, how did you get here so quickly?” He asks, rubbing the back of his head with his hand and Dave smirks. The reader can practically see the anime glasses shine sliding across his glasses. Wait, what does that even mean? What’s an ‘anime’? Whatever.

“We drove.” He says and Karkat rolls his eyes at him. You are vaguely confused by this, is that not how humans normally get around?

“But uh, how fast? You must’ve been driving over a hundred to arrive so quickly.” He says.

“Buddy, we live out in the forest. You ever heard of the Lalonde mansion? I bet you have, and if you haven’t that’s your own deal.” Dave responds. You yourself have never heard of the Lalonde mansion, and you have no idea what he is going on about. “Now if you excuse us, we will be taking our leave. Good. Day.” Dave says, spinning on his heel and literally sashaying out the door. Karkat lets out a short, throaty laugh and follows.

You shrug to yourself and follow behind the two towards an old, red pickup truck. Karkat points towards the passenger door.

“You can sit up front, I’ll sit in the back.” He says, hopping into the back seat.

“Yeah, Karkles isn’t allowed to drive.” Dave says as you climb into the passenger seat of the truck. Your horns nearly scrape the ceiling, so you arch your back slightly to avoid damage.

“Don’t call me that” Karkat says from the back. You look at him as he crosses his arms, frowning. You chuckle quietly and Dave starts the engine.

“We don’t leave until everyone’s buckled up.” Dave says. You look at him and Karkat in confusion. They appear to both have belts across their laps and chests coming from the upper walls of the vehicle. You look at the corner of the wall besides you, and grab it. You had never been in a car or truck on Alternia, as you never really needed to go anywhere too far to walk. You pull the metal part down to the opposite bottom corner of your seat, and look at it in confusion.

“Here.” Dave says, grabbing the buckle and pushing it into a small piece of plastic, in which a click is heard. There is a small red button on the plastic, that you assume would release the belt.

“Thank you.” You say and Dave nods.

“Everyone ready?” He asks. Without waiting for a response, Dave pushes the gas pedal, and the truck jolts backwards. He steers the car around so that the truck is now forward facing the road, and goes forward, into the tree surrounded asphalt.

You sit in silence before Karkat reaches up front from the middle back seat, and turns a knob on the console between you and Dave. As he does so, music starts playing and Dave snorts, clicking some buttons, and the music changes rapidly. He finally stops on some sort of slam poetry and Karkat groans.

“Really, Dave? Why do we have to listen to your garbage?” He asks.

“Driver picks the music, Karkat, you know this.”

“I thought you said it was always the passenger that chooses.” Karkat retorts and Dave turns his head slightly to look at you.

“Kanaya. It’s your pick.” You practically start sweating on the spot. You don’t know a thing about Earth music, and Alternian music never struck your fancy.

“I, uh.” You say before Karkat practically shouts at Dave.

“You nearly missed the turn DUNKASS!” and Dave makes a sharp turn down a poorly paved road.

“Whatever, Dave, you pick the music. Just turn it down.” Karkat says and Dave smirks. You continue driving, the music quiet, and Dave quietly lip syncing to it.

Eventually, after many twists and turns on the practically dirt road, the road smoothed onto a newly and neatly paved road, and a large hive comes into view. You drink in the sight like a rainbow drinker drinks blood, and examine the hive closely. It appears to be about 2 stories, and many windows. Only one room appears to be lit from the front view, on the first floor. The outside of the house seems to be rather well cared for, and what looks to be a small building lays out behind the hive.

“Here we are, the Lalonde mansion.” Dave says with a snort. You do not seem to understand what may be funny about that, but just go along.

“It is a very nice hive.” You say and Karkat clears his throat slightly.

“Kanaya, I thought everyone went over this with you over the many, many, many… Many memos, human terminology. This is their house.” He says and you nod.

“Sorry, I don’t usually rack my think pan for possibility of there being a different word for it.” You respond. Dave laughs beside you.

“Was that sarcasm? You didn’t seem to be a very snarky person based on your first impressions.” He says.

“What is sarcasm?” You say in a deadpan tone and Dave laughs harder.

“Man, this is gonna be good. Have you talked to Rose yet? You two are gonna be a hoot to watch.” You nod

“Yes, over Trollian.” You respond.

“Are we going to get out of the truck?” Karkat grumbles, pulling at a handle on the door. The door wouldn’t open and Dave lets out a little ‘oops’ and clicks a button on the side, and the truck clicks, and Karkat is able to get out. You click the red button on the seatbelt you had observed earlier, and the belt whips out of the socket and smacks you on the face.

You rub your nose and you can see Dave snickering outside the truck. You hadn’t realized he had left, and you frown before exiting the vehicle. You follow them up to the door, and Dave practically bursts through the door.

“HEY ROSE WE’RE BACK” he yells before hes even inside, and another blonde human walks into the room from what you assume to be the humans nutrition block. This human looks similar to Dave in facial structure, but is far shorter than he is, and has purple eyes. Dave walks over to her, and slings an arm around her shoulders and you are able to see how very similar they are. Nearly identical when you look closely.

“So, this is Rose. You said you talked to her on Trollian” Dave asks and Rose rolls her eyes, throwing his arm off of her shoulders before walking over to you and giving you a small, controlled smile.

“It is nice to meet you in person, Kanaya.” She says, giving you her hand and shaking it. Her hand is soft, and you can’t stop looking at her face. You suppose you forgot to speak when Karkat taps you on the shoulder and you snap out of… whatever that was.

“OH.” you say louder than you intended. “Sorry, yes, it is nice to meet you Rose.” you say awkwardly, and you release each others hands. She gives you a soft smile, and you clasp your hands together in front of you.

“So, who wants to give the tour?” Dave asks, and immediately after putting a finger on the side of his nose. Karkat quickly does the same before Rose can react and do the same and Dave snorts. “Looks like this ones on you, Rose” and she shakes her head.

“Come along now, I guess I am to show you around.” Rose says, beckoning you towards her with her hand. Karkat and Dave start going up the stairs and on the way past you, you reach down so he can whisper in your ear.

“Sorry, I would’ve given you the tour, but I couldn’t let Dave win that.” You chuckle and he goes up the stairs after Dave, turning a corner and leaving your sight. You turn to Rose, and she begins leading you into what looks to be a living block.

“This is the living room, you can watch tv, sit around, sew, sleep, read. Do whatever really.” She says quickly before shrugging. You nod, and she leads you into the nutrition block.

“Here’s the kitchen, I should assume you know how to use one. The fridge rarely has anything edible in it.” She gestures towards the hunger trunk and you tilt your head. She in turns opens the door to it, and out falls multiple robotic parts. “See? Same goes for the freezer, but theres usually ice cream in there.” She opens the door above the fridges, and reveals multiple tubs of ice cream, and what appears to be frozen, dead animals.

“I should advice that you don’t mess with the animals. They’re Dave’s and he may not want anyone messing with them” You frown in confusion. What does he do with the dead creatures? You basically assume that Rose has read your mind, or at least takes a guess based on your expression and answers your mental question.

“He doesn’t eat them, he usually puts the smaller ones in jars and the bigger ones he leaves out and sets up a skeletal model.” You suppose that makes sense, so you nod.

You walk around the house, Rose pointing out bathrooms and different peoples’ rooms. You still do not know who “Roxy” or “Dirk” are, but you assume they are all related. The two of you walk towards a closed door, which Rose opens and spreads out one arm.

“Welcome to my room, or our room I should say, for the meantime.” You believe she jokes, but you simply nod, taking in your surroundings, when suddenly a small, black furred creature runs towards Rose. Within seconds your lipstick is out of your sylladex and you are prepared to open it when Rose tells you to stop.

“Hey, stop. It’s ok, this is our cat Jaspers. He’s practically harmless.” You look warily at the small meowbeast in Rose’s arms, as she pets its sleek fur gently. “Here, hold him for a moment while I clean up a little. Sit down on the bed” Before you have the chance to decline, the animal is dumped into your arms and Rose shoves you onto a plush platform. You sit there awkwardly, looking at the equally wary meowbeast, or cat as Rose called it. It looks up at you and meows and you stiffen, staring at it. It stares back, and you are certain this is a contest. You will not lose to such a small creature, you simply refuse.

You stare at each other unblinkingly until Rose calls your name and you look up. She shakes her head and laughs softly.

“You two bonding? I called your name 3 times.” You let out a weird nose before shrugging.

“I… We were having a contest.” You say, looking back at the animal. Rose raises an eyebrow at you.

“You were having a staring contest?” She smirks. Her arms are crossed and shes looking you and the cat over.

“Yes.” you nod, petting the cat. You suppose you were bonding with it, you feel a bit more comfortable after staring at it for two minutes. Somehow. It doesn’t make much sense but oh well, you’ll go with that. Rose rolls her eyes and laughs. She’s about to say something when Dave walks into the room, and looks at you holding the cat. He begins to smirk before speaking.

“Looks like Kanaya’s good with-” He begins when Rose cuts him off.

“DAVE.” She says sharply. “What you are about to say is incredibly inappropriate and I would prefer it if it remained unsaid.” She says and Dave clamps his mouth shut. With the sharp tone, the meowbeast in your lap jumps away, and saunters out of the room. “Thank you.”

“What’s going on in here?” Karkat asks, coming into the doorway.

“I was just going to get some apple juice when I saw this and was about to say that Kanaya’s pretty good w-” He cuts himself off when Rose gives him a sharp glare. He clears his throat and pulls at his collar. “Anyways. I was just gonna get some AJ”

“Ok…” Karkat says, looking at everyone before slowly backing out of the room and leaving.

“Anyways, you ladies want a drink?” Dave asks, a small grin on his face. You shake your head. This entire interaction has left you incredibly confused.

“No, Dave. No one wants a drink. Go get your apple juice.” Rose says with a sigh, rubbing her temple. Dave nods, and walks out of the room with two finger guns. Rose rolls her eyes with an affectionate smile, before turning back to you.

“So. We should figure out sleeping arrangements. I think because you are the guest, you should get the bed, and I’ll sleep… somewhere else. I’ve heard many, many times from certain trolls, that you usually sleep in recuperacoons with sopor, but unfortunately we can’t get our hands on anything sopor related other than patches.” You blink in mild confusion at this… practically word vomit.

“Sorry. Basically we can’t get any sopor.” She shrugs and you nod. That’s unfortunate but you should be alright, you did go three nights without too vivid of nightmares with just sopor patches.

“That should be fine. However, I insist that you sleep on your… Comfort rectangle.” Rose snorts at this and shakes her head.

“You can just call it a bed, it’s far more convenient than comfort rectangle, especially mid conversation.” You nod. You suppose Rose is correct, it is more convenient.

“Bed…” You try out the word on your tongue and nod. “You keep the bed, I could sleep wherever else.” You say and Rose shrugs.

“Alright then, if you insist.” She shrugs and you nod. “Now I know trolls are nocturnal, but that shouldn’t be an issue considering my family’s strange sleeping patterns.” She snorts and you tilt your head.

“Whatever do you mean?” You ask. She thinks for a moment before responding.

“My siblings and I tend to stay up later than most. We have an odd sleeping schedule.” You nod. You suppose that makes sense, but you thought that all humans were diurnal, but you didn’t press.

“Who are your siblings? Like, what exactly does that mean?” You ask.

“Siblings are people that came from the same parents. I have Dave, who is my twin, which means we came from the same person in roughly the same time.” Rose answers. You suppose that makes sense? You knew that humans made strong connections and worked together, but didn’t realize they shared parents.

“I have two other siblings, Roxy and Dirk. They are older than Dave and I, but they aren’t here right now. They should be back later or tomorrow at the latest.” The two she mentioned sounded interesting to you, you had been wondering about the robots and wizardy things laying around the hive, which Rose claimed belonged to her siblings.

“They sound like… interesting people.” You say and Rose shrugs with a small smile.

“They’re siblings, and that’s something.” You don’t understand but you do not ask.

You take the beginning of this awkward silence to examine the block that you hadn’t noticed before during your previous antics. The ground is strewn with clothes, knitting, and general random junk. There is a violin haphazardly placed on the edge of a desk that sits before a window, the bow already on the ground below. The room isn’t dirty, per se, but rather messy. There appears to be another door on the other side of the room, and there is a nice bureau with things hanging out of it. In the corner of the room there is a large purple bean bag chair, and a strange, lifesized doll of a tentacled… heiress, you suppose.

You look at your arms after examining the room, and notice that where the small meowbeast had laid, there is quite an amount of black fur, on your arms and your skirt. You let out a small exhale in amusement, and look up at Rose. You swear that for a split second after you look at her, your eyes meet, but you think little of it. After picking up a few things, Rose sits down in the large bean bag chair, beside the strange doll.

“So, we need to actually decide where you’ll sleep. You could probably sleep anywhere in the house, but it would not be advised to sleep outside of a room, as my m- as Dave may do something ridiculous.” You nod.

“I would be fine sleeping anywhere, really.” Rose puts a hand to her chin, and thinks for a moment.

“You could sleep in this bean bag chair and you could have some blankets? It’s pretty comfortable” You think before smiling.

“Yes, that could work quite well.”

“Wonderful. I could get you some blankets later. I’m guessing all of your stuff is in your Sylladex, so you can just throw it anywhere, I’m not the neatest person.” You smile and stand up.

“Thank you, very much.” Before you had left Alternia, you had made sure to pack anything of importance to you, meaning your favorite sewing materials, including your sewing machine (those things were very much going to remain in your sylladex), your novels, and clothes. Lots of clothes. Just to avoid cluttering up Rose’s room however, you would refrain from placing too much stuff anywhere other than around the bean bag chair, you weren’t going to be a slob in someone else’s room, afterall.

Rose leaves the bean bag chair and allows you to take her spot.

“I’m going to go downstairs. If you need anything just message me or holler, someone’ll come.” you nod and she gives a small smile, leaving the room with the door slightly ajar.

You sit down on the bean bag, which is rather soft, and rather large. You do not understand who would need such a large seat for anything, really, but it is quite convenient, so you simply go with it. You pull out all of your novels from your sylladex, and place them around the chair, in a tall stack. You put a small amount of cloth on the ground beside it, with needles and thread gently placed atop them, easily visible.

You sit down on the bean bag chair and just lay there for a few minutes. You suppose you should talk to some of your friends, perhaps inform them of your arrival on Earth, that is, if Karkat hasn’t told them already.

You get your husktop out of your sylladex, and set it down on your lap, opening up Trollian. You look at the online trolls. Vriska, Nepeta, Tavros, and Sollux appear to be online. You feel too tired from the trip to talk to Vriska, and she always leaves you exhausted after any conversation with her. You consider Nepeta before deciding not to, you just don’t feel like playing her roleplaying at the moment. Sollux would probably just not care, so you settle on Tavros. Perhaps you could tell him about the human you met?

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling adiosToreador [AT] at 14:37 --

GA: Hello Tavros
GA: Yes
GA: I Have Finally Gotten To Earth With No Harm
GA: That Makes Me Glad
GA: Is There Any Particular Reason Why
GA: Is It Vriska Again
AT: uHH,
GA: If It Is I Will Talk To Her For You
AT: yEAH,,, iT’s VRISKA,
GA: Ugh
GA: I Will Talk To Her In A Bit
GA: Thanks
GA: I Will Talk To You Later I Suppose
AT: bYE,

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT] at 14:43 --

You roll your eyes. Of course Vriska was getting up in Tavros’ business, and it always pushed your metaphorical buttons when she did. You just didn’t understand why she couldn’t just keep to herself ever. And she calls YOU Fussyfangs. Ridiculous. You see that someone else is online in your roster. Feferi. You click on her chat handle and begin typing a message.

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling cuttlefishCUller [CC] at 14:44 --

GA: Hello
CC: O)( )(i Kanaya!
CC: I sea that you have arrived on Earth!
GA: Yes I Appear To Have Done So
CC: Were t)(ere any difficulties on the s)(ip?
GA: I Feared I Was Going To Get Caught When Exiting The Ship But I Managed
CC: T)(at is good to hear. I )(ope we can see eac)( ot)(er soon, I )(eard t)(at SOMEONE was planning an arrival party for you!
GA: Who Is It
CC: O)( I dont )(ave a clue.
GA: I Think You Are Lying
CC: Yea)( I am. Im not supposed to tell you w)(o t)(oug)(.
GA: Thats Fine
GA: I Can Be Left To Imagine
CC: Yea)(.
CC: W)(o are you staying wit)( rig)(t now?
GA: Where Karkat Is Staying His Human Friends Hive
GA: They Are Nice
CC: T)(ats good, Im glad to )(ear t)(at!
GA: Yes
GA: Where Are You Staying I Dont Recall You Ever Telling Me
CC: O)( I got a )(ive by default because of the company Im running.
CC: Its by t)(e water, its pretty nice!
GA: That Is Good
GA: This Hive Is In The Forest Pretty Far From Any Towns
GA: Or That Is What I Heard From A Human Worker Where I The Ship Landed
CC: Nice!
CC: You s)(ould go out to t)(e nearest town, )(umans are actually pretty fun to talk to!
CC: Anyways, I kind of )(ave to go do somet)(ing. Ill talk to you later!
GA: Ok Goodbye
CC: Bye!

-- cuttlefishCUller [CC] ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 14:51 --

Feferi, always someone nice to talk to. Usually. You’re pretty glad that she let up on the fish puns, you didn’t notice any more than one, and it wasn’t even all that noticeable. You smile softly to yourself before looking at your friends list one final time. Eridan, your violetblooded friend. He could be… tiring to talk to at times. You would prefer to not tire yourself anymore with him and his antics.

You shut your husktop, and just sit there for a moment, staring at the ceiling. Your situation kind of starts crashing down. You’re on an unfamiliar planet surrounded in unfamiliar people. Sure, you have your friends and all, but you’re in a new place with new people. A new species, even. This thought does little to soothe you, but you simply allow yourself to sit there with your own thoughts. Fears of what can, could, or never will happen in this new, unfamiliar place. You won’t admit it to many, but you are scared. You sit there with your own thoughts, before you begin drifting off into sleep. You do suppose you deserve this, after all…

In your rest, little thoughts break through the short nothingness of a dreamless sleep. A true calm. Silence, utter and pure.

“-naya! KANAYA!” a rough, familiar voice awakens you. You feel hands on your shoulders, shaking you. You open your eyes and letting out a disgruntled sound. You look at him and frown.

“That was quite a rude awakening. I just had the best sleep I’ve had in weeks.” Karkat looks at you like you’ve just kicked his docile wiggler barkbeast.

“Kanaya you’ve been asleep for like 30 HOURS.” really? it had felt much shorter.


“God damn right ‘oh’! We were all worried out of our damn minds!” you sit up, sheepishly rubbing the back of your head.

“Sorry, but after receiving little sleep on a ship where trolls were constantly trying to kill me I believe I have every right to sleep however long I please.” You deadpan at him and he groans and facepalms. You rub his shoulder gently and he leans into a hug. “Sorry I worried you, Karkat. I was just incredibly exhausted.” He says something muffled into your shirt and you look down at him.

“What?” You say and he pulls his head away and repeats, or so you think.

“I said you smell awful. You should take a shower.” You laughs very hard at this and Karkat snorts, chuckling a bit.

“I suppose I do need one.” Karkat nods vigorously at this statement.

“I’m not going within a 6 foot radius of you until you take one.” You roll your eyes and stand up.

“I suppose I will go give my apologies to Rose and Dave and then-“ Karkat cuts you off.

“And Roxy and Dirk. You haven’t met them but they’ve been worried too. They should be downstairs. Go talk to them and I’ll show you how the Earth showers work. They’re absolutely crazy.” You nod, standing up. You help Karkat up to his feet, and you walk downstairs, the other trailing behind you closely. Not sticking very true to his word, you suppose.

You get to the bottom of the stairs and turn the corner into the living room, where the humans are all kind of laying around on the large couch. They seem to sit up a bit.

Two unfamiliar but simultaniously familiar people that share eerie similarities with the two humans you already know are there. One, the one you assume to be Dirk, is wearing sunglasses like Dave, however his are very triangular, and his hair appears to be heavily gelled and styled.

The other, you assume to be Roxy, looks like Rose, however has curlier hair, and bubblegum pink eyes. You thought most humans had similar, bland eyes, you were not expecting purples and pinks. Roxy is also much taller than Rose, and has much more emotion clearly seen. While Rose does show emotion, she just seems to hold back on them.

The two are both clearly older than the other, younger humans. You look at them all and give a meek smile.

“I am alright, as you can see. I apologize profusely for worrying any of you.” You say. Yikes, that was a lot more… scripted sounded than it did in your head. Whatever.

“That is good to know.” Rose says, offering you a smile.

“Yeah, I’m glad you’re alright. I know Karkat would be pretty upset if something happened to you and that wouldn’t be cool.” You look at him with a smile, making a note in the back of your head of this.

“Yeah, it would be pretty lame if a new friend got hurt before Dirk and I could even meet ya! My names Roxy, I’m glad that you’re alright!” The older blonde human says with a smile. You smile kindly at her.

“It is a pleasure to meet you Roxy.” You look at the older boy who has yet to introduce himself. You wonder if he even will.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Dirk if you hadn’t guessed. Glad you’re alright. Kind of game everyone a scare with that.” Is he joking? You can’t tell if hes joking. Instead of saying anything you just nod and smile. Now that you’ve met everyone, you decide to do something before taking a shower.

“Dave, could I speak to you?” You ask sweetly. Not too sweetly though, or it would be weird.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” You nod and lead him to his own kitchen. You stop and look down at him, examining him closely. He tugs gently at the collar of his shirt while you look at him carefully. You suddenly smile and take his hands so he can’t leave when you say it.

“I give you my permission to be Karkat’s matesprit.” Dave stops suddenly and splutters, his face turning as bright as a red fruit.

“W-where did that even come from?” He asks, practically flabbergasted. You simply smile.

“You two are practically smitten for each other. I can see it.” You say and Dave turns even redder. From around the corner you are pretty sure you can hear muffle laughter.

“H-how? You’ve seen us talk for like, a day! That doesn’t make sense.” You simply smile.

“Take this power with care, Dave. I wouldn’t allow just anyone for my moirail.” You are just messing with him now, and it’s honestly pretty funny. You see him attempt to respond, his face flush with color, when Karkat calls from upstairs, and you can hear water running.

You simply pat him on the shoulder, before walking past the frozen with embarrassment boy. You smile innocently at Dave’s siblings who act very much like they weren’t eavesdropping, and elegantly make your way upstairs. What a day, what. A. Day. You’ve only been awake 30 minutes, yet here you are with a day to remember.

You walk into the ablution block, where Karkat is sitting on the edge of the trap, dipping his hands into the running water. It is rather loud, as you should expect, however it is far different from the Alternian. It has multiple knobs and two faucets and one of them has its own little knob thing. You are quite lost already, just looking at the thing.

“Ok, so this knob if you turn it like this, will make it hotter, and this one if you turn it this way makes it colder.” He demonstrates, turning the left knob clockwise, and the right knob counterclockwise. Karkat taps on the knob on the bottom, lower faucet. “This, if you pull it up, will make the shower head turn on.” He points to the upper faucet.

“It’s not all that difficult it’s just… kind of weird compared to Alternian traps.” He says and you nod.

“Thank you, Karkat. That should suffice, unless there is something else?” Karkat thinks for a moment before pointing to something beneath the running water, being pelted by the powerful stream.

“Don’t push that into the ground while taking a shower or the water’ll rise. If you accidentally close it, just pull it up again.” You nod and smile. He rises, and gives you a thumbs up before leaving, shutting the door behind him. You let out an exhale, and take a shower.

When you are done, you feel incredibly refreshed, and now Karkat won’t have to pretend that he cannot stand your stench. You chuckle softly to yourself, and pull out an outfit you made shortly before your trip to Earth from your sylladex. It is simple, a black shirt with your symbol in jade, and a red waist high skirt that barely shows your shoes. You nod in acceptance of your outfit. A few weeks ago you did good.

You step out of the ablution block after searching (unsuccessfully) for something to dry your hair with, and settling with just drying it with a towel. It curls slightly just as it typically does, and you fix it so you don’t look absolutely ridiculous. You tell yourself that it’s fine, and walk downstairs to find something to do.

You sit down on the large couch, and pull some fabric and a needle out of your sylladex. You settle for practicing your stitches until you get some ideas. Back and forth you sew through the fabric, and decide to treat the square as though it were to be placed on an article of clothing. You hem the edges, making it a smooth, continuous square of cloth. You smile when it is done, before deciding to put it away. You check the time. It’s been about 10 minutes. Not much time wasted, in your opinion. You sigh, and resort to just sitting there, hands folded together. You take to examining the block.

It would seem that the strange, tentacled heiress had been placed on the couch in your sleep. You examine it closer now that you have the chance. The tentacles in place of arms and the tentacled face appear to be knitted. A curious addition to whatever it must have been before. You stand up, and brush your lap off for whatever reason, and you prepare to go look for Karkat, when the small meowbeast called Jaspers walks by.

You look at the animal, and it looks back at you, letting out the sound of its kind, a small meow. You are utterly baffled. Is it attempting to speak to you?

“I cannot understand you, small animal.” You whisper, crouching down to look at it. You rest your hands on your knees, and Jaspers sits down in front of you. You simple look at each other for a few moments before it meows again, in which case you blink. It stands up, and takes a few steps toward you. You reach your hand out, and pet Jaspers’ head. It leans into your hand, and you rub carefully, giving a small smile. You stand up, and begin walking towards the stairs.

When you reach the top, into a hallway you look around, trying to recall which room Karkat would likely be in. Instead of possibly walking into the wrong block, you simply walk to Rose’s already opened room. Rose is lying on top of her blanket, on her own laptop. She looks at you and shoots you a smile as you walk to the bean bag chair, and you return it in kind. You sit down, and pull out your husktop, messaging Karkat.

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 13:27 --

GA: Karkat
GA: Where Are You Currently
GA: I Am Unsure Of What To Do
GA: Yes
GA: Thank You

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now an idle troll! --

You shut your palmhusk as Karkat walks into the room. You aren’t exactly sure why he didn’t just tell you where he was, but you won’t ask. He beckons you with his hand, and you rise, leaving the room.

“Ok let’s go, Dave said he wanted to leave as soon as possible.” You look at him in confusion.

“Is there any reason for that?” you ask and Karkat shrugs.

“I’m not sure. I think he’s just bored.” You nod. You do understand that feeling. Obviously.

You walk outside, where Dave is leaning against his truck, spinning the keys around his finger.

“Alright ladies, let’s go.” Karkat rolls his eyes and you let out a short laugh. Karkat opens the door to the passenger seat as Dave is getting in, and you simply place yourself in the back, Where Karkat had been when you had first arrived. You sit in the middle, slouching forward slightly to avoid ruining the ceiling with your horns.

“Ok, buckle up.” Dave says to Karkat who rolls his eyes and mutters something under his breath. This time, ‘buckling up’ is easier than it was before, and you get the buckle to click quickly, without major difficulty.

“Alright, let’s roll.” Dave says, adjusting the mirror in the center of the windshield. He quickly presses on the acceleration, and swiftly spins the truck around, avoiding the other car that you hadn’t noticed before. You guess that is belongs to Dirk and Roxy, and you simply look at the trees as they pass.

“Oh shit!” Dave exclaims joyfully, pressing the brakes. He isn’t very gentle with it, and you all jerk forward a bit, and Dave lets the car get to a stop before unbuckling and jumping out of the truck. He goes to the back of the truck, and pulls out a trashbag and some gloves. You wonder if he always carries those? He walks out a bit, to what appears to be a dead animal. Karkat lets out a disgusted noise and a huff.

“Nasty. It looks like a dead garbage creature.” You stick out the tip of your tongue at this as Dave scoops the creature up in gloved hands and putting it in the bag. He throws it in the back of the truck after tying the bag, and jumps into the drivers seat. He puts his hands on the wheel and prepares to leave before looking at you and Karkat.

“What? I could set it out back and then set the bones up.” Karkat fakes a gag at this and you snort.

“Dave, that’s kind of disgusting. Not even kind of disgusting, it is disgusting. That thing is DEAD! And yet you just chuck it in the back of the truck like its no big deal!” Karkat says. Dave shakes his head slowly.

“You just don’t get it man, you just don’t understand.” He says seriously before snorting. “Let’s go.” You are fairly certain you can see Karkat holding back a smile.

The truck jolts into acceleration, and once again the three of you are on the road again, watching the trees fly past. Dave turns on the radio at some point, with no arguments proceeding. Eventually the trees begin to thin out, and the rarely seen dirt roads turn to newly paved roads, and buildings can be seen often.

You aren’t sure exactly how long it took, but you are fairly certain Karkat is dozing off when you finally arrive in what seems to be an actual town of some sort. You see Dave grin and you look around. You’ve never been in a human town before, and honestly you aren’t sure what to expect. You look around, and see many buildings, many of them different styles and colors, but generally the same sizes.

You don’t see many people, but you notice that many of the buildings have peeling paint and fading colors. Some windows of shops are broken, and you can see the occasional person walking about alone, face obscured by different things.

“This isn’t the part of town we are trying to be. This areas older, we just have to go a bit farther and we’ll be at a good spot.” You nod at this. You aren’t sure if he was actually talking to you or to himself, but you assume it was intended for you.

After driving a bit, the buildings grow larger and brighter and more people are walking around in groups or with phones or going into stores. You see adults with younger humans and even some with small barkbeasts. Dave pulls the truck into a parking lot, and turns off the engine, and pokes Karkat. He wakes with a start and rubs his eyes.

“W-wuh?” He says, before gaining his barings. “Oh” he says, and unbuckles. Dave snorts and does the same. You follow in kind, and you all get out. Dave shoves his hands in his pockets, and looks around.

“Ok, so that drive made me hungry. Lets go get some grub.” Dave says. Karkat nods, yet you are unsure. You guess that by grub he means food, but you do not ask. Dave begins to walk off at a slow pace, and you and Karkat walk alongside him. You pass many different humans and trolls alike. A higher blood troll you pass looks at the blood color on your symbol and looks at you in disgust. You bare your teeth and hiss at them.

As you pass away, luckily without an issue, you breath in. You look to the right, and Karkat and Dave have switched places and Karkat paps you on the arm.

“Hey. Chill.” You let out a harrumph, and Dave snickers.

“Hey. Lets go here.” Dave points to an upcoming shop, with a sign stating “Sburban Diner” Dave walks in first, holding the door open for you and Karkat, before ushering you both into a booth.

“Ok, so. Get some waffles.” Dave practically orders. You shrug.

“I do not know what that is, but alright.” You say.

“Yeah. Whatever.” Karkat says, grabbing the menu in front of him. You peak over his shoulder at what he’s scanning. The drinks. You don’t know what these drinks are. You have no clue.

“Um. What are these drinks?” You ask Dave, who looks at his own menu.

“I’ve heard trolls have issues with caffeine? I would get some sweet tea. It isn’t caffeinated and its pretty good.” That sounds good to you.

“That sounds fine. I have no idea what caffeine is.” you say this as a troll in a casual uniform walks over with a smile.

“Hello! Are you guys ready to order or do you need a minute?” You look at Dave who looks at you, before looking at Karkat, who appears to be staring intensely at his menu. You tap his shoulder, and he looks up, setting the menu down.

“OH! Sorry. Yeah. Ready.” He says and the troll smiles, pointing at Dave.

“Ok, we all want waffles. I would like a coca cola, she would like some sweet tea, and him?” He points at Karkat, who shrugs.

“I’ll have tea too. Please.” The troll nods and smiles.

“Alright! Anything else?” Dave shakes his head. “Ok! I’ll be back with your drinks shortly.” She walks away and you sit quietly for a few seconds. As soon as she is out of earshot you and Karkat turn to each other at the same time.

“Do you think she was a teal?” You ask and Karkat shakes his head.

“Too friendly. She seemed more like an olive.” You shrugs.

“I suppose that makes sense. But I propose to you: way too friendly cerulean.” Karkat laughs at this. From the corner of your eyes you see Dave smirk in amusement.

“Thats… ridiculous. I think olive and I’ll stay by that.” You nod, and you turn back forward.

“Do you guys normally do that?” Dave asks, and you shrug.

“I guess? Whenever we did so rarely go somewhere we would usually converse about what blood colors others were. It was just something to pass the time.” Karkat nods.

The troll returns shortly with three drinks, one a dark brown and two others a more translucent brown. You accept your drinks with thank you’s and the like. You and Karkat both go to try your sweet tea at the same time, and Dave suddenly takes a very obvious, flash photo of both of you. Karkat hisses and cusses violently, blocking his eyes, and you cover your own.

“Really? was that necessary?” Karkat asks, blinking his eyes quickly.

“Sorry, but it’s babies’ first sweet tea. This is a day to remember” Dave says and you raise an eyebrow. You lift the tea to your mouth and drink. It’s sweet as the name implies, but you aren’t sure how to describe it. It’s good though, so you drink it. Karkat follows in kind, nodding slightly to himself.

“This is pretty good.” You say and Karkat nods.

“Yeah. As much as I hate to admit that you’re right Dave, this is pretty good.” He adds and Dave nods with a smug look.

“Damn straight I’m right.” you laugh softly at this, and a few short minutes after the troll returns with three plates and a small pitcher of dark liquid.

“Here are your waffles, and some syrup!” She says kindly. “Enjoy.” She walks away and you look at the strange food on your plate closely. It appears to be soft, and full of holes in it. You poke it with a fork, and see Dave pouring what you are guessing is syrup onto it. He looks at you and Karkat, both of you watching him expectedly.

“You want some?” He asks, and both you and Karkat nod. he pours some on and takes his fork, cuts it, and takes a bite. You and Karkat do your best to mimic his actions, with success. You take a bite, and its sweet, soft, and warm. You look at Karkat who lets out an “mm” at it and you chuckle breathily. The three of you eat practically in silence until you’re done.

The two of you follow Dave as he pays, and you all walk out of the diner, no longer hungry.

“So. Lets go find something else to do.” He says, and both you and Karkat nod. You’re ready to do something entertaining.