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The Doom of the Hippos

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The season had come – regulars trickled back into the chatroom from years past, keen new participants jostled for attentions of the mods and vets. Assignments went out, people started to write. Deadlines loomed, pinch hits were snapped up almost as quickly as they landed in inboxes. Bears lurked around the corner, hippos danced in the street – the menagerie of madness that was Yuletide had begun in earnest… And yet not all was well in fandom…

* ShadowyFigure has joined #yuketide
* SecretLeader sets mode: +o ShadowyFigure
* EagerMinion waves! \o
<EagerMinion> So is that everyone? Are we ready?
<EagerMinion> I’m soooooo excited!! :D :D
<@ShadowyFigure> *g*
<@ShadowyFigure> Sorry I’m late! But I think the coding is all ready to go.
<@MysteriousStranger> we’re ready on this end of things
<@MysteriousStranger> their deadline is tonight, so this should be a good time to enact the plan
<EagerMinion> Let’s bring those bitches doooooooown!
<@SecretLeader> Indeed. Send out the bot.

* Yulebot has joined #yuletide
* Yulebot waves hello!
* Fishling sets mode: +o Yulebot
* Hippo-Snow is still dancing for a beta for Odyssey 5!
* VelvetMouse still doesn’t know the fandom :(
* Lan-ToD waves to newcomer, hides in treat again @_@
* @Hippo-Snow Quit (Connection reset by peer)
<@VelvetMouse> :o
<@SteelNeko> That wasn’t me!
<@hh[flanickingmerrily]> hippo :(
<@Yulebot> ha ha!
<@aemily[ohshitbears]> connection problems?
<@Hippo-Truth> Well that’s poorly timed! If she doesn’t come back on in a minute, the author can pm me and I’ll take over.
* hh[flanickingmerrily] cuddles hippos.
* Lan-ToD sticks them into the wallow with ducktape just in case @_@
<@Jules[1353]> Snow isn’t back?
<@aemily[ohshitbears]> no :(
<@Yulebot> is everyone still writing?
<@Lan-ToD> in theory @_@
<@pillow[128765787]> I think I’m almost done!
<@kristin> starting ph 8!
<@aemily[ohshitbears]> I think some people are WoDing
<@Hippo-Truth> Alrighty then! Let’s try this again.
* Hippo-Truth dances!
* VelvetMouse chinhands.
* Jules[1353] heeds
* Lan-ToD heeds!
* pillow[128765787] heeds!
* hh[flanickingmerrily] heeds the hippo.
<@Hippo-Truth> I’m looking for a beta for Odyssey 5! 3200 words!
<@VelvetMouse> :/
* @Hippo-Truth Quit (Connection reset by peer)
<@Rose-WoD> 465!
<@Rose-WoD> oh hey, did we loose both our hippos?
<elfwreck> 239 :/
* hh[flanickingmerrily] Come back, hippos :|
* Consuela sets mode: +o elfwreck
<@elfwreck> ty :)
<@isabeau> 297!
* Rose-WoD is now known as hippo-Rose
* Lan-ToD is now known as hippo-Lan-ToD
<@Steelneko> Really though! It wasn’t me! *hides*
* hippo-Lan-ToD eyes steelneko warily
<@hippo-Rose> I feel strangely brave...
<@yulebot> ha ha!
<@Steelneko> Look, I’ll prove it!
* Steelneko is now known as Hippo-neko
<@Hippo-neko> bring in on, Odyssey 5 person! I’mma strut my stuff for ya!
<@yulebot> hee!
<@kristin> go Steel!
* Hippo-neko dances for attention!
<@Hippo-neko> I don’t know who I’m dancing for, but if you wanna beta Odyssey 5, I’m your hippo!
* hippo-Lan-ToD dances with fello hippo!
* @Hippo-neko Quit (Connection reset by peer)
* @hippo-Lan-ToD Quit (Connection reset by peer)
<@kristin> ahh!
<@aemily[ohshitbears]> noooo!
<@Jules[1353]> I just got a message from snow – she can’t get back on the server
<@VelvetMouse> Is there a help channel? Maybe they know what’s going on?
<@Jules[1353] Going there now
* pillow[128765787] is now known as pillow[128766234]
<@hippo-Rose> You know I think I will decline from shaking my stuff in order to find betas. It seemed to be cursed!
<@hh[flanickingmerrily]> do we need more hippos?
<@aemily[ohshitbears]> but if hippos don’t’ dance, how will they find betas!
<@hippo-Rose> We have our ways! Hippos are magical!
<@Jules[1353]> The yulechat hippos saved a grue once
<@yulebot> ha ha!
* VelvetMouse is now known as HippoMouse
<@HippoMouse> I feel strangely brave also!
<@pillow[128766234]> is it only hippos that dance that get attacked by peer?
<@hh[flanickingmerrily]> I guess we’ll see…
* pillow[128766234] dances like a hippo?
<@Jules[1353] the people don’t know what the problem is. They shouldn’t have any trouble getting back on after a peer disconnect.
<@kristin> maybe it just looks like peer?
* Doranwen has joined #yuletide
* teatime sets mode: +o Doranwen
<@pillow[128766234]> looks like it is just the hippos then, hmmm…
<@Doranwen> Thanks! And what’s just the hippos?
<@teatime> we’ve lost 4 hippos to peer!
<@hippo-Rose> Okay. I am initiating a Beta search! Odyssey 5, 3200 words. Lets help this poor author!
* hh[flanickingmerrily] hugs hippos and poor Odyssey 5 author
* kristin holds her breath.
<hippo-Rose> and beta *found*! Thank you for your patience chat!

<@MysteriousStranger> they’ve figured out level one
<EagerMinion> ha! Take that! No more stuoid dancing hippos!
<EagerMinion> *stupid
<@ShadowyFigure> I kinda liked the dancing…. Oh well.
<@ShadowyFigure> Stage two?
<@SecretLeader> Proceed to stage two.
<EagerMinion> Woooooooh!

* hippo-Rose changed the topic to ‘#yuletide Betas needed for The Good Wife (hippo-AD) Metal Gear Solid (hippo-Elanya) Contact any hippo to offer general technical betas | IRC fucknuttery prevents hippos form dancing, can still find betas | Hippo Explanation: | DYW sheet: | | fandoms 1046, works 1302’
<@HippoMouse> Hmm… if there are hippo requests in the topic for hippos who can’t get back on, what do we do?
<@Jules[1589] hopefully we can get it sorted out before it becomes an issue.
* hippo-Rose requires the attention of chat!
* hippo-Rose engages in an appropriate athletic display to encourage heeding!
* HippoMouse chinhands
* yulebot HEEDS
* Doranwen heeds!
* Jules[1589] heeds distractedly but can’t really help right now anyway.
<@hippo-Rose> I am looking for a technical beta for a 1700 word Sanctuary fic!
<@hippo-Rose> no canon knowledge necessary….. not that I think that will be a problem
* @hippo-Rose Quit (Connection reset by peer)
<@kristin> AHHHHHH!
<@aemilye[ohshitbears] AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
* hh[flanickingmerrily] is now known as hh[flanicksforhippos]
<@hh[flanicksforhippos] ack!
* HippoMouse carefully tapes herself into the wallow, and barricades the pillow fort.
<@Doranwen> …coincidence?
<@yulebot> ha ha!
<@HippoMouse> any other brave souls out there?
* Doranwen is now known as Hippo-Doranwen
* Hippo-Tev-editing has joined #yuletide
* Zebra sets mode: +o Hippo-Tev-editing
* Hippo-Tev-editing is now known as Hippo-Lusano
<@Hippo-Lusano> I saw something on LJ about hippo problems!
<@hh[flanicksforhippos]> It's Peer! Peer keeps getting them! :(
<@kristin> *nodnod*
* Hippo-Lusano strikes a dramatic pose!
<@Hippo-Lusano> Well, I will do what I can to help with beta-finding until this gets worked out.
* @Hippo-Lusano Quit (Connection reset by peer)
* Hippo-Mouse clings to Hippo-Doranwen!
<@aemilye[ohshitbears]> I think peer is….. a bear!
<@aemilye[ohshitbears]> An eeeeeevil, hungry bear!
<@hh[flanicksforhippos]> A hippo-eating bear?
<yulebot> ha ha!
* pillow[128766234] looks at yulebot strangely
* yulebot waves!
<@Jules[1589]> so hippos are dying on ‘beta’ now too?
* @Jules[1589] grumps at the help people
<@kristin> looks like!
<@Jenn> I have an idea!
* Jenn is now known as a_raptor
* pillow[128766234] blinks, wondering where the jenn came from
* a_raptor hunts about, looking for tasty bears
<@aemilye[ohshitbears]> yesss! Raptors versus bears!
* kristin is now known as raptor-kristin
* HippoMouse is now known as RaptorMouse
* Hippo-Doranwen is now known as Raptor-Doranwen
* pillow[128766234] changed the topic to ‘#yuletide Betas needed for The Good Wife (AD) Metal Gear Solid (Lan-ToD) Contact any raptor to offer general technical betas. The raptors are your friends. | Raptor (a.k.a. Hippo) Explanation: | DYW sheet: | | fandoms 1046, works 1302’
* hh[flanicksforhippos] cuddles the raptors….carefully.
* a_raptor accepts cuddles as long as they are not from bears, who are to be devoured on sight.
* RaptorMouse dances warily!
<@ RaptorMouse> …
* RaptorMouse dances victoriously!
<@raptor-kristin> yaaaaaay!
* elfwreck feels weird heeding a raptor, but does so anyway!
* a_raptor also heeds!
* aemilye[ohshitbears] heeds also!
* aemilye[ohshitbears] is now known as aemilye[fuckyesraptors]
<@RaptorMouse> I am looking for a sanctuary beta! 1700 words, no canon knowledge necessary.
* Raptor-Doranwen dances with dellow raptor!
<@Raptor-Doranwen> *fellow. Should raptors still dance?
<@Raptor-Doranwen> if feels sacred to the hippos somehow.
* a_raptor thinks we should…pole-vault?
<@aemilye[fuckyesraptors]> pole-vaulting raptors would be terrifying
<@hh[flanicksforhippos]> All the better for scaring away bears.
<@RaptorMouse> Beta request closed!
* RaptorMouse pole-vaults to victory?
<@hh[flanicksforhippos]> It’s just not the same without the hippos :(
<yulebot> ha ha!

<@SecretLeader> An interesting development. We didn’t plan for raptors.
<@MysteriousStranger> it’ll take a while to recode yulebot
<EagerMinion> Aww maaaaaan :(
<@ShadowyFigure> I’ll see who I can round up to help, but I don’t know if it will help?
* AD[stilldrunk] has joined #yuketide
<EagerMinon> Ahhhh! Intruder!
* SecretLeader sets mode: +b *!*@7x.1xx.1xx.enxxx=
* AD[stilldrunk] was kicked by SecretLeader (SecretLeader)
<@MysteriousStranger> shit

* AD[stilldrunk] has joined #yuletide
* a_raptor waves
* yulebot waves
* RaptorMouse grins toothily
* AD[stilldrunk] blinks
* fishling sets mode: +o AD[stilldrunk]
* AD[stilldrunk] blinks
<@AD[stilldrunk]> I’m so confused o_O
<@aemilye[fuckyesraptors]> bears are eating the hippos. Bears named Peer!
<@Jules[1589]> the help people thinks it is some kind of hack. They’re looking in to it.
<@AD[stilldrunk]> yes but but!
<@AD[stilldrunk]> did you know there is a #yuketide? For real?
<@AD[stilldrunk]> they banned me!
* Raptor-Doranwen blinks
<@pillow[128766234]> scowls suspisciously
<@AD[stilldrunk]> I am pretty sure that is not just the booze even
<@AD[stilldrunk]> and hey you were there!
* AD[stilldrink] points at yulebot
<@yulebot> ha ha!
<@yulebot> is everyone still writing?
* a_raptor thinks yulebot smells…… like a BEAR!
* pillow[128766234] sets mode: +b *!*@7x.1xx.1xx.enxxx=
* yulebot was kicked from #yuletide by pillow[128766234] (BEARSPRAY!)
<@Jules[1589] help says it *could* be a bot – anyone want to test?
* aemilye[fuckyesraptors] is now known as hippo-aemilye[fuckyesraptors]
* hippo-aemilye[fuckyesraptors] dances the beta dance?
* RaptorMouse can’t look!
* RaptorMouse hides in pillowfort!
* hippo-aemilye[fuckyesraptors] dances again?
* hh[flanicksforhippos] cuddles hippo happily!
* hippo-aemilye[fuckyesraptors] beams!
<@RaptorMouse> is it safe?
<@elfwreck> looks good :D
* a_raptor thinks that some retaliation is in order….

* a_raptor has joined #yuketide
<a_raptor> RAAAAWR!
* Raptor-Doranwen has joined #yuketide
* SecretLeader sets mode: +b *!*@7x.1xx.1xx.enxxx=
* a_raptor was kicked by SecretLeader (SecretLeader)
<EagerMinion> Ahhhhhhh! Invasion!
* RaptorMouse has joined #yuketide
* raptorwreck has joined #yuketide
* Raptor-Doranwen stomps about smashing things!
* SecretLeader sets mode: +b *!*@7x.1xx.1xx.enxxx=
* Raptor-Doranwen was kicked by SecretLeader (SecretLeader)
* RaptorMouse devours bears for breakfast!
* MysteriousStranger has left #yuketide
* raptor-aemilye has joined #yuketide
* raptor-pillow has joined #yuketide
* SecretLeader sets mode: +b *!*@7x.1xx.1xx.enxxx=
* RaptorMouse was kicked by SecretLeader (SecretLeader)
* EagerMinion sets fire to all raptors, ha ha ha!
* raptor-aemilye bites EvilMinion’s head off!
* EagerMinion (minion@[redacted]) Quit (Connection reset by peer)
* <raptorwreck> get ‘em!
* SecretLeader sets mode: +b *!*@7x.1xx.1xx.enxxx=
* raptor-aemilye was kicked by SecretLeader (SecretLeader)
* raptor-pillow is now known as flaming-raptor-pillow
* flaming-raptor-pillow wreaks raptorly revenge on SecretLeader!
* flaming-raptor-pillow has quit #yuketide (my hair’s on fire!)
* SecretLeader (betterthanyou@[redacted]) Quit (Connection reset by peer)
* ShadowyFigure has quit #yuketide (tactical retreat!)
* RaptorJules has joined #yuketide
<raptorwreck> I think that’s all except the bot
* RaptorJules glares menacingly at yulebot
* Yulebot has left #yuketide (ha ha!)

* HippoMouse flops back into the wallow!
* RaptorJules is now known as Jules[1624]
<@Jules[1624]> the help folks are sorting things bout as we speak
* Hippo-Snow has joined #yuletide
* Hippo-Lan-ToD has joined #yuletide
* Hippo-Lusano has joined #yuletide
* Consuela sets mode: +o Hippo-Snow Hippo-Lan-ToD Hippo-Lusano
* hh[flanicksforhippos] yaaaaaay!
* a_raptor strikes a victorious pose, and trundles off into the sunset
* a_raptor is now known as Jenn
* #yuletide rejoiced!

And so was yuletide saved from evil bears of uncertain motives by the valiant and violent efforts of the raptors. Stories did not go unbeta’d, and the hippos wallowed freely and drank many a mimosa from the wet bar. And everyone flanicked happily ever after.

The End!

(or is it?)