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Skin and Sensation

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Edward leaned in and whispered, “When I saw you at the palace… Looking just like that evening… I almost forgot myself. Do you know why you wore this tonight?”

 

“I don’t know, exactly. Perhaps I missed you.”

 

“Well, I think you’re a sorcerer and you summoned me with it. How could I resist the memory of our first kiss…? And how did I wait so long to kiss you to begin with?” Edward said, leaning in for another. “We’ve wasted so much time.” 

 

 “Then, my love, I propose we not waste any more.” 

 


 

 

__________

Edward

 

And with that, their lips and tongues were again locked in a dance of such joyous intensity that Edward could not have said how much time passed as they stood in each other’s arms. He could feel Alfred’s hands grip his shoulder blades, his back, his neck. Every time he moved a hand to stroke Edward somewhere new, it was as if the nerve endings beneath his skin came alive. He was tingling everywhere now, and remembering again the things he’d imagined doing with Alfred… and—oh!—the things he imagined doing to him. The thought sent an exquisite shiver through his whole body.

 

In the back of his mind, that shadow of shame had begun creeping over him again before it was pushed forcefully away by the engulfing flames of desire. 

 

No! This could not be shameful. He was burning because he loved Alfred… he loved him. That must mean something. How could that passion be contained? and how could it be perverse to follow wherever it might lead? 

 

He was burning because he loved Alfred—and now he knew that Alfred loved him, too. 

 So they must belong to each other—

                                                             they must…. 

                                                                                            then how could it be wrong—

this need to be together in heart and body?! 

 

He felt sweat beneath his shirt, and heat moving downward from his mouth to his chest to a hardness between his legs that began to ache with need. Edward kissed him harder yet, his tongue searching to be intertwined with Alfred’s, one hand clenching his waist tightly while the other one slid ever lower down his back….

 

 

__________

Alfred

 

Everything was moving faster than he’d anticipated. Edward barely seemed like himself. Though this was a side of him Alfred had never seen, he’d certainly sensed a submerged passion. It would reason that anyone with Edward’s depth of feeling must be capable of such intensity in all parts of their lives… even the parts that remained hidden from the rest of the world… or indeed, especially those parts.

 

Alfred was trying to keep his head—trying to restrain the situation, keep them from storming ahead impetuously. It was proving not only difficult, but damned nigh impossible. The fact is, while he had been afraid of pushing Edward too far, he was the one being pulled along now. Edward was setting the pace, carrying them into a frenzy of skin and sensation. As he felt Edward’s hand slide down his back and caress the curve of his buttocks, he heard himself emit a low moan as the last of his willpower left him and he knew all was lost. 

 

He had absolutely no inclination to resist.

 

 

___________

Edward

 

He barely knew who he was anymore. He had not willed his hand to move—it had seemed to do so of its own accord. However it got there, it was now stroking the back of Alfred’s trousers, and he was left imagining the softness of the skin beneath and yearning to touch it—all of it. Alfred’s moan was so visceral and seductive—an invitation to more.

 

Edward needed to touch his skin, but Alfred’s clothes were in the way. He hurriedly began to remove the cravat and then fumbled with the buttons of the shirt, as Alfred willingly took off his vest and pulled off his shoes and socks. It was all he could do to wait for Alfred to lower his suspenders before Edward pulled off his shirt, flung it away, and held him around the waist to draw him close. Such soft skin, he thought, smooth as velvet. Edward kissed down his neck as Alfred’s moans accelerated, each one forcing his heart to beat harder and faster. 

 

“Oh, Alfred, I… need….” 

 

But the rest of the thought floated away. Whatever words had been there were lost to him now, as he kissed Alfred’s neck and drew one hand around to his chest to stroke the downy, golden hair and the silky skin beneath.

 

 

__________

Alfred

 

When Edward threw his shirt carelessly to the floor, it sent a fresh rush of desire through Alfred—it was so unlike him, so brutish and untamed. Now he stood with his bare chest pressed against Edward’s still-clothed body… he would have to do something about that soon, but the excitement of his own nakedness and Edward’s fervent desire to touch him was something to relish first. 

 

He ran his hands through Edward’s hair, feeling the soft strands, twirling locks of it round his fingers, occasionally clutching at it in a trembling of pleasure from the sensation of Edward’s lips on his neck, Edward’s hand gripping the small of his back, Edward’s fingers grazing the hair on his chest…

 

His knees were beginning to grow weak with the passion of their embrace. Edward’s strong arms might hold him up, but Alfred wanted his hands free for other things….

 

His eyes never left Edward’s face as he pulled back and sat on the divan, reclining a bit and inviting him with his eyes to take his pleasure. 

 

 

__________

Edward

 

Edward was breathless now, staring down at Alfred with a consuming hunger. Sorcerer, indeed! This man held him in thrall with those eyes, those lips, that chest with its alluring cover of glistening hair. He fell to his knees, as a starved man might do in gratitude of the banquet before him. He could barely believe the bounty he had been granted.

 

Alfred’s knees were in front of him and slightly open; Edward put his hands on his thighs, caressing them for a moment and filling his imagination with a picture of those strong legs, and what would greet him at the end of a journey along their muscles and contours. Careful, he thought, this will be my undoing and I will lose all control…. But he could not stop himself opening Alfred’s legs further and positioning his own body between them. He was overcome with their closeness, with the awareness that Alfred’s secrets were right before him, waiting to be uncovered and known. With a sensation somewhere between agony and ecstasy, Edward fell forward onto his chest and threw his arms beneath his back, pulling them together. The hair on Alfred’s chest tickled his nose and sharpened his senses as he tasted the skin beneath. He could feel him writhe under his lips and tongue and heard him moan louder and with greater abandon. The sound filled Edward with more and more heat until he felt he might faint. He lifted up suddenly, trying to loosen his own cravat and relieve some of the pressure. 

 

 

__________

Alfred

 

There was something in the way Edward pulled at his collar that made Alfred picture him as a boy, frustrated by needs he couldn’t name… yet impatient to have them met anyway. It might have been comical if it hadn’t felt so sweet and poignant and reminiscent of his own youthful confusion over unfathomable yearnings. He was filled with ever more love for this man—this man who was earnest child, dewey-eyed romantic, and ravenous animal, all in one.

 

Alfred sat up from his recline and moved Edward’s fumbling hands away from his cravat. He held them for a brief moment between his own and kissed them reassuringly. Looking into Edward’s eyes, he whispered tenderly, “It’s alright. I’m here and we’re not going anywhere. We have all the time in the world.” 

 

Alfred reached toward Edward’s cravat and began—calmly—to remove it for him, as Edward dropped his hands restlessly onto Alfred’s thighs. While he unbuttoned Edward’s shirt and vest, then carefully drew down his suspenders and lifted off his shirt, he could see Edward’s eyes fixed on him, watching his face. His veritable panting had subsided, but a quiet intensity had replaced it. He might still explode at any moment, and Alfred would welcome it. He craved nothing more than their shared ecstasy.

 

 

__________

Edward

 

Alfred’s actions were deliberate, almost serene, but Edward could feel an energy emanating from his hands as he undressed him. It was both calming and invigorating. Oh, but he loved this man! Alfred then drew Edward to him in a tight embrace… bare chests pressed together, so close he felt they might just be sinking into each other… he was no longer certain where his skin ended and Alfred’s began. His heart was pounding again, and he could feel how hard he was… except it wasn’t only him…. Perhaps it shouldn’t have come as a surprise, but the realization that he was feeling Alfred’s excitement as well nearly knocked the air out of him.

 

Edward pulled back and brought his hands to Alfred’s waist before drawing them toward the prominent bulge in his trousers. As he touched him there for the first time, Alfred closed his eyes and sighed with pleasure. Edward could feel Alfred’s hand in his hair, curling it between his fingers, while the other hand gripped his shoulder. Edward touched him with more fervor, but felt suddenly uncertain. He’d only imagined what he might do, but he’d never done it… he had no idea whether he had pictured it right.

 

 

__________

Alfred

 

As Alfred opened his eyes, he saw Edward looking up at him with desire, but a hint of confusion as well. “Alfred, I don’t know what I’m doing, but I don’t want to stop.”

 

There was that bewildered boy again. Just when he’d thought Edward had made him feel every possible shade of emotion, a new one surfaced. He was beguiled by the innocence of Edward’s confession, even as he was heated by the intensity of Edward’s lust.

 

“Perhaps you will allow me to lead us?” And he invited Edward to stand before him.

 

 

__________

Edward

 

He didn’t know quite what to expect, but trusted that Alfred would guide him and quench the fire that was now burning with almost unbearable intensity. As he stood, Alfred slid his hands slowly up the front of Edward’s thighs. His breath hitched as Alfred reached the sensitive skin at the top of his legs, and his excitement swelled with the thought that he was so close to being touched in this most secret spot.

 

When Alfred placed his palm on Edward’s erection, he let out a loud moan of his own and grabbed at Alfred’s shoulders with delighted shock. “Oh, Alfred….”

 

 

__________

Alfred

 

He looked up at Edward, whose head was thrown back and eyes closed in near ecstasy. He was filled with pride to think that he—Alfred himself—was the only one who had ever brought Edward to such pleasure. He moved to the waist of his trousers and began unbuttoning them. As he did, he watched his face, drinking in every moment. Edward opened his eyes and looked back down as Alfred pulled his trousers down just far enough to see the thin fabric of his drawers beneath. Edward appeared to grow impatient, for he quickly pulled off his shoes and socks before lowering his pants all the way to the floor and pushing them out of the way. His drawers were fairly thin, and Alfred could make out the shape—and impressive size—beneath.

 

 

__________

Edward

  

It was almost unbearably exciting, standing before Alfred, stripped nearly bare. This is what he had wanted, and yet….

 

“I’m afraid…. Alfred….”

 

He looked down at Alfred, excited yet intimidated by the power of his yearning. There were so many emotions and sensations that he could make neither heads nor tails of anything anymore.

 

“You have nothing to fear from me, you know. We can stop if you wish.”

 

Edward took a deliberate breath, considering his own trepidation. “No. No, I want you to see me. I want you to see all of me.”

 

Alfred chuckled. “I’ve done so before, if you recall a day in the French countryside. And you have seen me.” 

 

“That was different. We couldn’t really touch each other then, could we? But now you’re touching me in all sorts of ways….”

 

Edward watched him looking hungrily and felt the thrill of Alfred’s eyes—those eyes—beholding the most private part of himself. With shaking fingers, Edward untied the top of his drawers, loosened the waist, and slid them down his legs so that he was fully naked before Alfred. He inhaled with a deep, rattling breath, knowing that almost anything now would push him into a realm of new sensation.

 

 

__________

Alfred

 

He was an Adonis. Everything about Edward’s body was perfect—every muscle ideally proportioned, a thin line of fine, dark hair running down the median of his stomach as if to lead Alfred to heaven... and then heaven itself, ample, full, and quivering before him. He supposed he hadn’t had the nerve to take a proper look when they’d gone swimming, but of course, Edward also hadn’t been aroused at the time. He certainly was now.

 

Alfred gazed at Edward’s naked form and yearned to be naked with him, to feel the skin all over their bodies making contact. He had now seen Edward in this glorious natural state, and he wanted—needed—for Edward to see him, too… He needed for them to be together in this moment… equally naked, adorned only with the clothing God had given them.

 

Alfred rose from the divan and began to unbutton his trousers. 

  

 

__________

Edward

 

Before he could think about it, Edward was moving Alfred’s hands out of the way and taking over the buttons as he dropped to his knees before him. For so long, he had wanted to see this man from head to toe with nothing between them—no cravats or vests or trousers—just the simple allure of his skin. He had dreamed of being free to touch the nakedness that was kept from him by clothes and fears and laws. He was free here and now, and being so close to his heart’s desire, he craved the pleasure of undressing Alfred himself. 

 

He looked up into his face. “Please, let me. You are my gift to unwrap.”

 

 

__________

Alfred

 

Oh, what Edward did to him when he said things like that! 

 

His hands rested in Edward’s hair as he finished unfastening Alfred’s trousers and slowly—almost excruciatingly so—slid them down his legs. Alfred could see his protrusion as Edward lifted his head from below and looked at it—at him—at Alfred—with awe. It made him flush with greater excitement to see the look on Edward’s face—that look of desire and lust for him.

 

Alfred moved a hand to untie his drawers, but Edward gently grasped it and moved it away again.

 

 

__________

Edward

 

He was going to do it all. He was going to be the one to strip Alfred naked. It was his reward for all the longing, dreaming, imagining, wanting—for all the time he had anguished under the belief that he would never have his heart’s desire.

 

He untied Alfred’s drawers and hooked his thumbs under either side of the waistband before looking up into his bewitching blue eyes. He looked so powerful in this moment, so imposing standing there above him, like a sovereign. His sovereign. He would happily pledge fealty to this man, even to the point of dying for him. 

 

It was evident in Alfred’s face just how much he relished this slow undressing, and Edward savored each slip of the fabric as more and more supple skin was revealed. He would have just as happily ripped the drawers off him right then, but seeing Alfred’s nakedness for the first time was not to be rushed. He wanted to lock away the sacred memory and keep it in his heart for as long as he might live.

 

 

__________

Alfred

 

The slow, deliberate way Edward moved now stood in contrast to his previous carnal frenzy, and both were exquisite. The earlier abandon with which he had expressed his passion had inflamed Alfred, but this careful unfolding was titillating in a whole new way. He smiled to himself at his folly: he had supposed he would be the one to teach Edward and take the lead in their amorous interludes, but Edward was also leading him. He was turning out to be a creative and adroit lover. 

 

And it was heavenly.

 

 

__________

Edward

 

His thumbs pulled gently downward, first revealing Alfred’s navel, then the faint outlines of his hipbones and a peek of light, curly hair, before slipping the fabric in back over the rise of his buttocks. He had to stop there for a moment, determined to feel the skin he had imagined touching just moments ago…

 

In the nooks and crannies that Edward had yet had the opportunity to acquaint himself with, Alfred’s skin was unimaginably soft; the skin now beneath his hands was no exception. And yet, it was more—almost ethereally perfect, yet undeniably corporeal and enticing. His fingers couldn’t help but glide along effortlessly, exploring the curves until at last he happened upon the breach between Alfred’s smooth cheeks. His fingers traced first up, then down, and Alfred shivered and laughed languorously as though they were sharing the greatest secret. He ran across some fine hair nearer Alfred’s legs that made Edward tingle with delight; I will have to come back to explore that another time. But for now, he had more pressing matters as he slid his thumbs back around to the front of the drawers and pulled them slowly forward and down to unveil the secret that had dominated his fantasies.

 

 

__________

Alfred

 

By the time Edward pulled his drawers down the rest of the way, Alfred thought he might explode. He closed his eyes and breathed as deeply as he could, trying to cool down just a bit so they could find their release together. He didn’t expect Edward to reach out and touch him, and when he did, Alfred gasped, letting out a deep, long groan, and stroking Edward’s hair with surprised pleasure. Edward slowly drew his fingers along the whole length, feeling the skin as if he were a jeweler discovering a precious new gemstone.

 

It would be so easy to let everything go now, to let Edward pleasure him as long as he wished and soon bring him to his release, but Alfred wanted them to do it with each other this first time. Before he could lose his reason, he clasped Edward’s wrist, gently pulled his hand away, and drew him back to his feet.  

 

“Together, my love.”

 

 

__________

Edward

 

As Edward stood, he knew they would have to finish this soon. The sight of Alfred, erect and with a shining drop of liquid at the tip, had practically been enough to send Edward to that unknown realm. And then when he touched him…! Oh, he had imagined what Alfred would feel like, but the tangible reality was so much more than a picture in his mind, or even right before his eyes. He wanted to keep touching him there with his hands, and then kiss him with his mouth—he wanted to consume him and be consumed by him. It was a moment of exquisite and agonizing anticipation.

 

There was nowhere else to go—he was as large, as stiff, as he’d ever been. His tip brushed against Alfred’s, and they both caught their breath and looked at each other with eyes that demanded satisfaction. Next thing Edward knew, Alfred had his hand around both of them, holding them together, rubbing and pulling, finding a rhythm.

 

Edward grabbed Alfred around the back and held on tight. This was unlike anything he’d ever felt in his life and he was on the verge of combustion. They held each other’s eyes, but Edward couldn’t seem to focus, as fires were igniting behind his lids and the edges of his sight grew blurry with incandescence…  

 

and he could hear a sound coming from him… or maybe it was Alfred… that was like the growl of a bear or the howl of a wolf or both… it grew louder until it filled his head and then spread like a wildfire downwards and upwards and all around him all at once… 

 

and oh words were gone and there was only Alfred and his hands and his skin and his mouth on Edward’s and his tongue darting in and out… 

 

and just before he was lost he saw the blue stars where Alfred’s eyes would be and cried out as the fire consumed him in a final magnificent blaze of light and heat and delirium….

 

 

__________

Alfred

 

Edward’s release was glorious to behold as he seized and dug his fingers into Alfred’s back, throwing his head to the heavens and crying with a sound at once human and not. The visceral eroticism of witnessing his virgin climax brought Alfred quickly to a matching peak of delight. His voice was part feral cry, part joyful laughter as he convulsed with the sudden eruption of his stifled passion—as he and his dazzling lover were carried away on dual waves of rapture.

 

 

__________

Edward  

 

Somehow they had collapsed together on the floor, wet with sweat and the viscous evidence of their passion. But blissful and together and—best of all—alone. Alfred lay sprawled beneath him, his arms encircling Edward, wiping the sweat from his brow.

 

“Oh, Alfred, I never knew…,” he said, dropping his head onto Alfred’s shoulder. “I dreamt of you, but I never came close to imagining how you would really make me feel.” He let out a grateful sigh and rested gently on his chest.

 

The fantasies of Alfred—both nighttime dreams and daytime imaginings—had been pale foreshadows of this encounter. He was overwhelmed with the afterglow of ecstasy and with love for this man—this beautiful man—who could hold the stars in his eyes, his lips, his hands, his loins. 

 

__________

 

They lay there for some minutes, silently, catching their breath, holding each other. Alfred was the first to speak.

 

"We are not friends, you know."

 

"So what are we, then?"

 

"We love each other. Loving each other is what we do, so we are lovers," he said matter-of-factly.

 

"I like the word, but isn't it for men and women together? Not for men like us?"

 

"We can make it to mean whatever we like. And I like it," Alfred said with finality, as though making a decree. "It describes us perfectly, I think."

 

Edward smiled sleepily. "Yes. Lovers, then. I like it also." He pushed himself up to look Alfred in the eyes. "You are mine, aren’t you? Always and only mine?”

 

“Always." Alfred kissed him tenderly. "Always and only yours, my darling Edward.”