Chapter Text
Severa tugged out her hairties and redid them. Again. She squinted at herself in the mirror. She undid her hairties a third time and sifted through her accessory drawers. She withdrew two black ribbons. She tied her hair up again, this time with neat little bows. She grimaced.
She emerged into the living room, scarlet hair splayed across her back. She held up her hands, sets of ribbons in each.
“What do you think?” she asked. “Black or gold?”
Her roommate, flopped out on the couch, tilted her head backwards to get a better look. “Whatever you pick, make it quick. You do realize you’re supposed to meet her in like twenty minutes, right?”
“I know!” Severa moaned. “Come on, Kjelle!”
Kjelle sat up, rotating ninety degrees and flopping her bare feet down onto the hardwood floor of their apartment. “Come here,” she gestured at Severa, who complied. “Let me help.”
“I can do it,” Severa said defensively, pulling her ribbons back against her chest. “I just need help picking the color. Which goes with my dress better?”
“Well,” Kjelle said somewhat impatiently. “It’s a black dress. So…either.”
“Kjelle!” Severa groaned.
“Jeez,” Kjelle laughed, pushing herself off the couch and crossing the living room. “You’re really nervous about this one, aren’t you?”
Severa pouted. “No,” she lied. “It’s just…I want things to go well,” she finally said, softly. She didn’t need to remind Kjelle of her less-than-stellar dating history. Well, maybe not dating, per se. That term kind of implied anyone ever met her a second time. She fingered the black silk ribbons pensively.
“Hey,” Kjelle said, setting one hand on each of Severa’s shoulders. She was a massive girl, at least a head taller than her roommate, and Severa refused to tilt her head up to match her gaze. She looked up through her bangs shamefully, head bowed.
“Look at me,” Kjelle said. “You’re gonna do great. It’ll be fine. Okay?” Severa nodded slightly. “Attagirl,” Kjelle grinned. “Go with gold.”
-
It was a chilly night. Severa could see her breath crystalizing in the dark night air in front of her mouth, great clouds of white that puffed out in time with her nervous breathing.
She resisted the urge to fuss with her cellphone. She chose instead to pick at a patch of peeling leather on her purse, scraping her nail across it over and over, hoping that somehow this ritual might change the inevitable outcome of this date.
High-maintenance.
Needy.
Selfish.
Crazy.
She tried not to let the insults get to her – after all, she knew how she was. She made no attempt to lie to herself about what she wanted out of a relationship. Kjelle had chastised her for it repeatedly.
“You know, girls don’t usually go for someone who’s talking marriage on the first date.” Kjelle had prodded her.
“It wasn’t marriage!”
“Oh? What was it, then?”
“I just asked her if she ever…um…planned on moving anywhere. And how I could go with her if she-“
“GOD! On the first date?”
Severa’s cheeks burned as she picked at her purse. It wasn’t her fault she was like this. She tended to blame her mother. Perfectionism at its finest: planning for every outcome, every eventuality, every possibility. But if there’s one thing internet dates hated more than attachment issues, it was mommy issues. God, she hoped this would go well. No talking about the future. No talking about her past failures in the dating world. No talking about her mother. No yelling. Normal things. Talk about normal things.
So that left what? Her shitty secretary job? Her total absence of friends outside of Kjelle and Noire? Severa sighed. She could probably dredge up some funny anecdotes about them, right? Hopefully?
“Hey!” a voice knocked her from her self-pitiful wallowing. She looked up. Oh gods, here we go again.
A young woman approached her, a tall girl with long navy hair. She was dressed rather plainly in a high-waisted black skirt and a button-down shirt underneath a knee-length black coat. A red and blue scarf was wrapped around her neck and she had stuck her hands in her pockets to ward off the chill. “Severa, right?” she said as she approached.
“Y-yeah.” Severa felt blood rushing in her ears. She had seen pictures of Lucina, of course. They had talked a bit online, but she still hadn’t expected her to be so…
Beautiful.
“Yeah,” Severa repeated. “I’m…” she trailed off. “Lucina?” she confirmed.
Lucina laughed and held out her hands in admission of guilt. “Yeah, that’s me.”
Holy hell she’s so pretty I’m going to die. I’m dead. I’m dead. I’m going to bring up something weird and she’s-
“Shall we?” Lucina gestured to their destination, a brightly-lit restaurant. Severa nodded.
Severa had been to this exact restaurant four times. The first two ended in total, unmitigated disaster. The first she wound up in the bathroom scrubbing alfredo sauce from her date’s shawl, and the second she was politely asked to leave by the wait staff after a particularly…acerbic remark. Acerbic and loud. The third time was a little better, though her date did excuse herself to the bathroom and didn’t come back. And the fourth time the waiter recognized her, and she hurried through the date as quickly as possible to avoid anything embarrassing happening. Nothing did, but her date never called her back.
But that did they always say? First date should be somewhere familiar.
Severa unbuttoned her jacket and the two slid into a booth, her mind racing. Normal things. Talk about something normal.
“Are you alright?” Lucina asked as they settled into their seats.
“Huh? Yeah,” Severa nodded. She wished she had picked the black ribbons. “Sorry, it was a long day at work.”
“Oh?” Lucina picked up the wine menu. “Sorry to use the cliché, but what do you do? I don’t think you mentioned on your profile.”
“I didn’t,” Severa said, doing her best to not sound glum. “I’m…uh…an administrative assistant. Answering phones, filing stuff, that sorta thing. Not very exciting, sorry.”
Lucina waved her hand. “Hey, whatever you have to do, right?”
Severa nodded. “Something like that.”
Lucina’s warm smile melted as she pored over the wine menu. She stared at it, slowly turning the beige parchment pages. She fell silent as she read. Then she closed the menu and set it aside.
“Oh, did you want to order wine?” Severa asked. “I’m paying, so you can get whatever.”
Lucina waved her off. “No, no. Don’t worry about it.” She smiled again. “How about an appetizer instead?”
Okay, Severa told herself. A little awkward, but nothing you can’t handle. It’s fine. She’s nice enough. And…oh god she’s gorgeous. I hope I’m not staring.
She was, though. She stared the entire evening, enraptured with Lucina’s beauty. The sway of her hair when she got excited about something, the soft curve of her jaw, her deft, slender fingers. How she totally rocked that outfit. Her sparkling blue eyes. Everything. Severa never wanted the evening to end. She could have sat and stared for hours, could have listened to her read the goddamn phonebook just to hear that voice sing for a little bit longer.
Severa didn’t believe in love at first sight, but if it existed, this was it.
The awkwardness of the evening dissolved into Severa’s wineglass. They chatted, they laughed. Severa dredged up some funny story about Noire getting annoyed at the geese in the park and taking it upon herself to ‘silence them for good’. Lucina talked a bit about herself, though she seemed pretty scant about her personal life – while Severa did briefly dip into a rant about her mom’s ridiculous expectations for her, Lucina barely mentioned her parents at all. Her father worked for the city, and…that was about it, actually.
But it didn’t matter. It was an evening full of food and laughter and music and Severa slowly getting wasted on sauvignon blancs while a sober Lucina giggled in amusement. Severa didn’t want the evening to end.
They emerged from the restaurant into the cool night air, the winter chill feeling wonderful on Severa’s flushed cheeks. She stuck her hands in her jacket pocket.
A brief pause after a bout of laughter brought the gravity of the night into focus.
“So…” Severa said. She tried to stop the street from spinning.
“So.”
“I guess we should get going, huh.”
Lucina checked her phone. “Y-yeah, sorry. I should really be getting back.”
“Are you going to take a bus, or a cab, or-“
Lucina waved her off. “I’ll walk. It’s just a couple blocks.”
Severa saw her chance and seized it. “I’ll walk you!” she stammered before her brain caught up to her mouth.
“Oh, no,” Lucina said. “You don’t have to!”
Severa tried to play it cool. “No, really. I’m pretty sure my roommate has a date over, so the longer I spend out the lower my chance of seeing something I don’t wanna see, you know?”
Lucina laughed. “Okay, okay.”
Snow fell gently from the night sky, drifting in great white flakes as they walked through the city streets, pink noses tucked into scarves, hands buried in pockets. For a brief second Severa wondered how warm it would have been to hold her hand. She shook her head, snowflakes scattering from her scalp. Lucina was telling some story, something rather amusing about some weird past date that had ended awkwardly.
Severa couldn’t have been more surprised. How could anyone let Lucina get away? This was…this was wife material! Severa felt her heart catch in her chest. No. She had promised Kjelle she wouldn’t do this again. She laughed at the conclusion to Lucina’s story. She didn’t even notice as the two of them ascended the stairs up to Lucina’s apartment.
“Well, here we are,” Lucina said somewhat sheepishly as they stopped in front of her door. Severa snapped back to the real world.
It was a second-floor apartment in a rather plain building made of red brick. In contrast to Severa’s tower apartment, this place seemed downright quaint. Paint was peeling from the wooden railings and the outdoor carpet along the walkway had seen better days. Maybe ‘quaint’ was generous. ‘Squalid’ seemed rude, though. It reminded Severa a bit of a motel. She was surprised.
“Oh,” she said. The haze of wine still burning in her cheeks, she leaned against the door. Lucina looked so beautiful, the exterior of her apartment be damned. Maybe it was nicer on the inside. Maybe she could find out.
“So,” Severa said, grinning. “Gonna invite me in for a drink?”
Lucina laughed as she fished for her keys. “I don’t think so.”
“Coffee?”
Lucina fingered her keyring nervously. “Um, no. I really…” she smiled. “I had a really nice time tonight, Severa. If it’s okay, I’d love to see you again.”
Her words hit Severa like a cement truck. “Uh…” she fumbled. “Y-yeah! Yeah, of course! Me too! I mean, I’d love to see you again, if you want.” She felt her cheeks burning, and this time it certainly wasn’t just the alcohol. “Yeah, for sure!”
“Great,” Lucina smiled again, warmly. Severa felt her heart melt. She could stare at that smile all night. “I’ll call you tomorrow, oka-“
Before she could finish her sentence, the door creaked open. Severa stumbled backwards, almost falling into the apartment.
She looked from Lucina to the door. Then back to Lucina.
“Mama?” a small voice slipped through the cold night. A young girl, no older than four, stood in the doorway, rubbing her eyes with a tiny balled fist. In her other hand, a stuffed dragon trailed to the ground. Her white hair was mussed and feathery.
Severa sobered up instantly. She looked at Lucina and to the child again. “Oh!” she blurted. “Oh, you…I mean, uh…” she stared at the child. “You…?”
Lucina was blushing deeply, frozen with fear.
“I heard you tawking,” the child said softly.
Lucina looked apologetically at Severa. “Um…maybe you should come in.”
-
Lucina sat down on the couch next to Severa, passing a warm mug of coffee to her. Severa wrapped her hands around it and sniffed. The apartment felt drafty, and she welcomed the warmth the mug brought. She wasn’t actually much for coffee, but she wasn’t going to do anything to upset the taut atmosphere.
“Sorry about the cold,” Lucina said. “The heater’s been broken, and I haven’t had a chance to get it repaired.”
Severa shrugged.
Lucina rubbed her temples. “Sorry,” she said again, softly.
“For what?”
“I mean, usually when people have kids they kinda put that on their profile. When I did, though, I really…didn’t get any responses.”
Severa let out a short, good-natured huff. “You know, at least you look like your picture. At least you weren’t a dude!”
Lucina smirked. “That’s happened to you?”
Severa nodded, raising her eyebrows meaningfully as she sipped her coffee.
“It’s a lesbian dating site!” Lucina said incredulously.
“I know!” Severa laughed. “Can you believe the shit people pull? He said something about ‘wanting to show me what it was like’. What an asshat.”
“God, I can’t imagine.”
They sat in silence as Severa sipped her coffee. She had been right – the apartment was nicer on the inside. Still small, still quaint, but a cozy little place. A two-bedroom affair, complete with a half-kitchen and a decently sized living room. She couldn’t help but let her gaze linger on the pile of picture books on the coffee table.
“So,” Lucina said.
“She yours?” Severa asked quietly.
Lucina nodded. “Yeah.”
“How old is she?”
“Four.”
“Sorry, I don’t know…a lot about kids. What…” Severa stopped herself from asking what level the baby was. “She can read?”
Lucina nodded again. “A bit, yeah. Talk, walk, the whole deal.”
“She’s cute.”
“Morgan.”
“Huh?”
“Her name is Morgan.”
The tension was palpable. It was almost enough to make Severa wish she hadn’t walked Lucina home. Almost, but not quite.
“And…the dad?”
Lucina shrugged. “Dead, for all I care.”
“Jeez,” Severa said, taken somewhat aback. “Didn’t end well, I’m guessing.”
Lucina gestured to the apartment, sans father. Severa conceded her point.
Severa exhaled, the reality of it setting in. Lucina hadn’t listed her age on her profile, but she couldn’t have been older than twenty-three or twenty-four. Maybe twenty-five. Dating was hard enough for her, and she just had a weirdo roommate.
Something occurred to Severa. “No babysitter?” she asked.
Lucina rested her face in her hands. “She’s…she’s a smart kid. She can take care of herself.”
Severa stared at the books on the coffee table. It made sense, finally. Lucina’s plain clothes, the shitty apartment, the bargain-priced coffee. Why she looked so tired at dinner, even through her bright smiles and her laughter.
“Lucina, I-“ Severa started to speak at the same moment Lucina did.
“I’m sorry,” Lucina said again. “Maybe…maybe you should just go.”
“Lucina,” Severa said softly. She set her empty mug on a corkboard coaster on the coffee table and turned to face her. “I don’t care, okay?”
“What?”
“I had an amazing time tonight, and…I still want that second date, okay?”
-
“She has a WHAT?!” Kjelle nearly spit out a mouthful of cereal.
“A kid,” Severa pulled a half-empty jug of milk from the fridge. She unscrewed the cap, sniffed, and took a swig. She wiped her mouth. “It’s not a big deal. How was your thing? You get laid?”
“It was fine,” Kjelle said. “And I did, not that it’s any of your business. Hold on, don’t change the subject! You can’t just drop something like that on someone!”
Sunlight streamed through the window into their apartment, bright and glowing from a city blanketed in snow. Severa stood in front of the fridge, half-naked in just her tank top and underwear, sifting for breakfast. “I said it’s not a big deal,” she said. “And it’s not.”
“Woah, woah. What the fuck? How is that not a big deal? A kid? Like, a baby? A human baby?”
“I didn’t think to check that she’s human,” Severa sat down heavily at the table. “Yeah she’s a human, asshole.”
Kjelle held up her hands defensively. “How old is she, anyway?”
“The kid? Four.”
“No, not the kid. Your date. Lucy-whatsername.”
“Lucina. I dunno…twenty-something?”
“Twenty-something like twenty-nine, or like twenty-two?”
Severa shrugged.
“God, you finally manage to land a second date, and it’s with a single mother.”
“What’s wrong with that?” Severa shot her a glare.
“You’re twenty-two, Severa. Isn’t it…I dunno, a little early to be tying yourself down?”
“Who said anything about tying myself down? You were the one who told me to play it cool. It’s just a second date.”
Her cellphone buzzed on the table and she nearly bolted across the kitchen to snatch it up. She glared at it, tossing it back to the table. Kjelle laughed.
“Excited to hear back from her?”
“Yeah,” Severa admitted. “She was super cool, the whole kid thing aside.”
“That’s a pretty big thing to set aside.”
“You’re a pretty big thing to set aside.”
Kjelle laughed and crossed the kitchen, depositing her empty bowl into the sink. “Alright, Sev. It’s your life. I’m gonna go get dressed for work.”
Severa watched her disappear into her room. She looked at her phone. It was a pretty big thing, she forced herself to admit. You can brush over something like a shit job or goofy hair. A kid was serious business. She looked around her apartment.
Their place was hip, sparsely decorated, but definitely a bit of a bachelorette pad. Discarded beer cans adorned the TV, a tangle of video game console cords littered the entertainment center, the couch was covered with a fine sprinkling of tortilla chip crumbs. She looked at the half-naked-woman-of-the-month calendar on the fridge, marked with such momentous events as “Concert!!!” and “B-fast with mom” and “PAY RENT, DIPSHITS”. She rested her head on the table. This was no place for a kid.
But it didn’t need to be, right? It was just dating. It wasn’t serious. And if it became serious, well…that was a problem for future-Severa.
Her phone buzzed and she snatched it up.
“Hello?” she asked, trying to conceal her excitement.
“Hey!” Lucina’s voice came through loud and clear. “I wondered if you’d be up this early.”
Kjelle’s head poked out of her room. She flashed Severa a thumbs up, and she received a middle finger in return.
“Yeah, I have work at nine, so I usually get up around now,” Severa explained.
“Great, I’m glad I caught you! Would you want to go see a movie tonight?”
“Sure!” Severa said before even thinking to ask what movie. “Absolutely! What time were you thinking?”
“I’m off at seven,” Lucina replied. “How about the theater on Sixth at eight?”
“Sounds great.” Severa hoped her broad smile wasn’t noticeable in her voice.
“Oh, and Severa?” Lucina added. “Morgan said she thinks you’re cute.”
Severa couldn’t stop a giggle from spilling out. “Tell her I think she’s cute, too.”
“Will do. See you tonight, okay?”
///
Severa tucked her nose into her scarf, exhaling to warm herself up. It was a chilly day and the park was blanketed in a thick cover of fresh snow. She leaned back into the wooden bench, tilting her head slightly to keep her long red pigtails from dipping into the snow. The sky was clear blue overhead.
The past weeks had gone by almost startlingly quickly. Even her job seemed to suck less, knowing that she was always hours away from talking with her, from seeing her. Her entire world seemed brighter. God damn was she in love. She had it so bad. Kjelle had soundly mocked her for it, but she didn’t care. She was in love and she was so fucking gay and all she wanted to do was be with Lucina.
“Be careful, Morgan!” Lucina’s voice rang out next to Severa. She looked up to see the bundled-up toddler waddling across the playground. Lucina turned back to Severa. “But anyway, you were saying?”
Lucina didn’t get a lot of time off. She worked two jobs, an office temp job during the day and a retail job in the evenings and on weekends. Severa thought she sold office supplies, but she wasn’t quite sure. But between two jobs and raising a kid, this sort of moment was rare – a free afternoon on a beautiful Saturday, and Severa was lucky enough to share it with her.
“Sevwuh.”
Severa looked up to see Morgan holding her hands out, offering something. It was a small, rough stone she must have found in the park.
Severa laughed and took it. “Thank you, Morgan. I’ll treasure it always.”
“And what do we say, Morgan?” Lucina asked.
“You’re wewcome!” Morgan beamed.
“Come here,” Lucina tugged her gently towards her and fussed with her jacket, fixing her collar, brushing snow from her lapel, straightening her hat. Severa smiled as she watched.
“Hey, Morgan,” Severa said, calling the four-year-old’s attention. “Did you mama ever show you how to make a snowball?”
“No!” Lucina protested, giggling. “Do not teach her to throw snowballs!”
“Snowbaw?” Morgan asked curiously.
“Here, like this,” Severa bent over, pulling a pile of snow from the ground. She packed it into a tight ball. “You gotta pack it real tight.” She held out the ball to Morgan, who accepted it curiously. She lifted it to her mouth and took a bite.
“Agh!” she cried. “Cold!”
Lucina and Severa collapsed into a fit of laughter.
“No!” Severa shook her head. “No, it’s not for eating! Look,” she packed another one. “Morgan, look. See, you throw them!” she stood up and threw the ball in a clean arc. It sailed through the air and landed with a solid thud against a tree trunk.
Morgan watched in amazement.
Severa did it again. “See? Now you try.” She made another snowball and gave it to Morgan, who thankfully didn’t try to eat it. She tried to throw, but her stubby little arms didn’t manage more than a short toss. “Let’s move a bit closer,” Severa suggested.
Lucina watched them play in the snow. Morgan never did quite get a handle on proper snowball throwing techniques, but she was young. She had time.
“Hey, Morgan,” Severa whispered conspiratorially. “Watch this.” She made a loosely packed snowball and turned, tossing it in a lazy arc at Lucina. Direct hit.
Snow splattered on her black coat and she cried out in surprise.
Morgan cackled gleefully and tried to throw one as well.
“Why, you!” Lucina leapt up and returned a throw, a snowball clipping Severa’s leg. She feigned pain and staggered, falling to the ground next to Morgan.
“Oh, ow!” Severa cried out dramatically. “Ouch!”
“Oh, no!” Lucina fell for it hook, line, and sinker. She hurried towards them. “Oh gosh, Severa, I’m so sorry!”
“Not yet you aren’t!” Severa swung her legs out and swiped Lucina’s out from under her, sending her sprawling into the snow.
“Eep!” Lucina cried. “Cold! Cold!”
Morgan clapped and laughed.
In retaliation, Lucina scooped up an armful of snow and tossed it at Severa.
“You got it in my hair!” she protested.
“Well you got snow down my jacket!”
Severa laughed and tackled Lucina into the snow. The two of them landed softly in a thick snowbank. They were both still laughing, stuck prone in a fit of giggles.
Severa caught her breath first and laid down heavily, resting her head on Lucina’s chest. She realized with a jolt of horror what she was doing. She rolled and tried to push herself to her feet but that just made it worse. She was straddling Lucina now, and she could hear nothing but Lucina’s laughter and the roaring of blood in her ears.
Lucina’s giggles softened into a gentle smile. She blinked slowly, prone underneath Severa’s body.
Severa felt herself tilting her head down. She was so close. She could feel the fog of Lucina’s breath on her lips. It would be so simple to do it. To lower her head and part her lips and-
A spray of snow scattered across her back. “Eep!” she cried out as snow ran down the back of her coat.
“Gotcha!” Morgan cried out.
Lucina and Severa both collapsed into laughter and Severa rolled off onto her back, laying next to Lucina in the snow. She was freezing cold and now she was damp, with melted snow running down her jacket and soaking her shirt. She smiled breathlessly up at the open sky, confident in the knowledge Lucina was doing the same at her side.
Lucina sat up first, at Morgan’s goading. She tapped Severa’s prone body. “You alive?”
“Just frozen,” Severa replied. “It’s cool.”
“Are you thinking dinner?” Lucina asked.
“PIZZA!” cried Morgan. “PIZZA!”
Lucina laughed. “How’s pizza sound?”
Severa sat up. “Pizza sounds great,” she smiled.
-
“Just leave your boots at the door,” Lucina said, kneeling to help Morgan disrobe. She unwound her scarf, unzipped her jacket, and helped her untie her boots. “Go get changed, okay?” Morgan nodded and ran off into the small apartment.
“God, you really got me good,” Severa muttered, peeling her jacket off her now-damp arms. “I think there’s a pound of snow in here.”
“I can lend you a shirt, if you want,” Lucina suggested, taking off her own jacket.
Severa couldn’t help but admire her as she undressed. Even now, she looked beautiful. Rosy cheeks, flushed skin, sweat-dampened hair, snow-sticky long-sleeved shirt plastered to her torso. Her navy hair crusted with a find coating of ice crystals, now brushing off in showers as she combed it out with her fingers. “Sorry, what?” she said, returning to her senses.
“Want a shirt? Or are you good?”
Severa grimaced at her soaked top. “Yeah, that might be good.”
By ‘shirt’, she had kind of assumed an old t-shirt or something. Not…this. Severa winced as she pulled the sweater on. It looked thrifted, which normally wouldn’t be a problem, except this was a knitted red-and-green sweater emblazoned with a giant reindeer on the front. Well, reindeer was perhaps generous. A reindeer-adjacent mammal. Something with four legs. Severa squinted. Was it a cat? El Chupacabra? Regardless, the coating of glittering sequins was a tad much.
“Pepperoni okay?” Lucina asked, leaning out with her phone tucked under her chin.
Severa flashed a thumbs up. She had better luck with pants, digging up a regular pair of flannel pajama pants. They had hung all their damp clothes up in the bathroom to dry.
Morgan was already in the living room, laying on the carpet with a picture book. Lucina was in the kitchen, setting a pot of hot chocolate on the stove to heat up. Severa joined her.
“I know hot chocolate and pizza don’t really mix,” Lucina said, “but I’m cold. Sorry about the heat, it’s…broken.” She smiled sheepishly.
Severa shrugged. She almost said ‘more excuses to snuggle up on the couch’ but thought better of herself.
Lucina was dressed in similarly eclectic attire, her own gaudy-sweater-and-pajamas combo Halloween-themed, rather than Christmas. Severa got the feeling a lot of her casual clothing was holiday-themed.
Morgan was dressed warmly as well, wearing a thick, new-looking sweater and soft cotton pants. She was curled up under a blanket, using her stubby fingers to poke pictures of barnyard animals in her book.
“Go sit on the couch,” Lucina said, gesturing. “I’ll bring you two mugs, okay?”
“Are you sure? Do you need any help?”
Lucina shook her head.
Severa settled onto the couch and watched Morgan play. She was done with reading her book and had shifted gears, now trying to stack her books at odd angles into a tower. Severa leaned forward and looked at the books on the table. She picked one up and showed it to Morgan.
“Have you read this one?”
Morgan nodded, sticking a thumb in her mouth.
“It was one of my favorites,” Severa said, paging through the book with almost reverent nostalgia. “God, I haven’t even thought about this book in years.”
“That’s one of her favorites, too,” Lucina said, sitting next to her. She set three steaming mugs of hot chocolate on the table. “She loves all the illustrations.”
Severa set the book down. She frowned. All of the books looked pretty worn, which she was quickly learning was par for the course for Lucina’s things. She picked idly at a price sticker she recognized from the thrift store.
“Lucina…” she said softly.
“Hm?” Lucina looked up from her mug of hot chocolate. “What’s up?”
“Um…” Severa thought carefully about how to approach her question. “Uh…would Morgan want a buncha my old stuff?”
Lucina raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
Severa shrugged. “I got boxes fulla my old baby stuff at my mom’s house. Would you want me to bring some of that over sometime?”
Lucina shook her head. “Oh, no, you don’t have to do that. It’s okay.”
“No, really,” Severa said. “It’s a bunch of stuff that’s just collecting dust. It wouldn’t be a problem.”
Lucina hummed thoughtfully. She sipped from her mug.
“Think about it, okay?” Severa said, making a mental note to text her mom.
As they waited for the pizza to arrive, Lucina got out Morgan’s set of crayons and coloring books. The three of them lay together on the carpet, giggling as Severa intentionally miscolored purple elephants and rainbow cars and blue forests.
“Twees aren’t bwue!” Morgan protested. “Mama, tell her!” she nudged Lucina, whose head swayed.
Severa put a finger to her lips. “Shh,” she said softly. “Why don’t we let mama sleep for a bit?”
Morgan nodded, excited to be sharing a secret.
Mama was indeed dead tired, as evidenced by her soft mumbling as she lay on the carpet, snoozing softly. Morgan colored happily and Severa sat up, watching the little girl play as her mother slept. Lucina looked so peaceful. No worry lines creasing her brow, no bags under her eyes. No smiles that verged on showmanship. She was curled on the carpet, her chest rising and falling in her ridiculous sweater, and Severa thought she was the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world.
The doorbell startled her into wakefulness.
“Ah!” Lucina bolted upright.
Severa laughed softly at the overreaction. “It’s just the pizza. I’ll go get it.”
They ate dinner on the floor, too, sitting cross-legged on the carpet, eating greasy pizza off paper plates as Morgan excitedly chattered about something or other. Severa wasn’t really paying attention. She was watching Lucina, watching her smile and nod and talk to Morgan, watching her pick her pepperoni off her pizza to eat before actually eating the slices, watching her stretch her arms and crack her neck as she adjusted her position.
Soon Morgan was asleep, too, curled up on the floor next to her mother. Lucina was clearly struggling to keep her eyes open but still talked softly with Severa, talking until she closed her eyes and didn’t open them again. Severa smiled and began cleaning up, picking up the empty pizza box and greasy paper plates and neatening the crayons back in their box and putting the coloring books back on the coffee table. She sat on the couch and pulled out her phone.
>Mom, do you still have those boxes of all my old baby stuff?
She closed her eyes and leaned back against the arm of the couch. She wished she had a blanket. No, she wished Lucina was curled up with her. For a brief moment, she considered laying on the floor, too. Her phone buzzed.
///
“Jesus, Sev, why did you have so much shit?” Kjelle groaned, looking at the spread of cardboard boxes before them. “Oh, shit, sorry, Miss Cordelia. Uh, oh shit.”
“Shh!” Severa snapped, hushing her. “Sorry, mom. Kjelle was raised in a barn. Ignore her.”
Cordelia’s stern glare passed between her delinquent daughter and her delinquent daughter’s possibly-worse roommate. She frowned. “And why do you need all this stuff again?”
“It’s a charity drive at work,” Severa effortlessly lied. “They’re collecting a bunch of baby stuff to donate, and I figured that I’m not using any of this, so…”
“We were saving it for when you have a child,” Cordelia said.
Severa frowned, kneeling over a box. She pried open the cardboard and began digging through it. “Yeah, the being gay thing kinda makes that…less likely.”
“Not really,” Kjelle said. “Lots of gay people have kids-“ She stopped when Severa shot her an icy glare.
“Besides, I’m not taking all of it,” Severa said. She held up a ratty teddy bear. “I don’t think anyone wants this anymore.”
“Aw, Beary!” Cordelia said, taking it. “He was your favorite, you know.”
“God, mom, do you have to be so embarrassing about it?!” Severa said, snatching it back and stuffing it into its box. “Where’s all my like, toys and stuff?”
Sifting through her old things took considerably longer than necessary when every other box prompted cooing from Cordelia and the requisite retort of anger from Severa. But soon, the sea of dusty cardboard boxes had been whittled down to just one – a single box crammed tight with toys ranging from playsets to dolls to books to construction toys. Cordelia had always been one to encourage developmental growth, which Severa looked back on with disdain but confessed did give her a wide variety of high-quality toys to pass on to Morgan.
Kjelle snickered at a box labeled “Erector Set” and Severa smacked her.
The two brought the box back to their apartment and immediately set off again, this time stopping at a store to pick up a card, tape, and wrapping paper.
She was halfway through selecting the right wrapping when she spied a head of navy hair out of the corner of her eye.
“Shit,” she muttered, grasping Kjelle’s arm and tugging her back down a side aisle.
“What? What’s happening?”
“Fuck, I think this is the store Lucina works at,” Severa said. “She said she worked at an office supply store but never specified.”
Kjelle squinted at her. “Sorry, your single mom works at an office supply store?”
“Don’t call her that.” Severa glared. “Just…go distract her while I check out, will you?”
Kjelle nodded and stumbled out of the aisle, on the prowl.
“Excuse me!” she called out loudly.
Sure enough, Lucina turned around. She looked a little silly, Severa thought as she crept past. Her beauty had no right being subdued by khaki pants and a fucking polo shirt.
“Can I help you?” Lucina asked brightly.
“Yeah,” Kjelle said. “I’m looking for…” she fumbled and Severa rolled her eyes. How hard was coming up with an excuse? “I’m looking for a new laptop.”
“I’m sorry, ma’am,” Lucina said politely. “We actually don’t carry laptops.”
Unbelievable, Severa groaned. By the time she slipped out the front door, Lucina had been trapped for nearly twenty minutes explaining in minute detail what exactly they did carry.
But the mission was accomplished. Severa wrapped up the big box of toys and stuck a card on the top. Satisfied with her handiwork, she flopped back on the couch and looked around her apartment. With some amusement, she noticed that the apartment was quite a bit cleaner than she remembered it being. Perhaps it was habitual, but she more and more found herself cleaning up after Kjelle and herself.
She kicked her feet out on the coffee table and flicked on the TV. Now she just needed to figure out when Morgan’s birthday was. Or, barring that, just make it a spontaneous thing.
“So,” Kjelle leapt over the couch back and landed heavily next to Severa in a spray of chip crumbs. So maybe the apartment wasn’t quite as clean as Severa liked to pretend.
“So, what?” Severa thumbed the remote, flicking through channels.
“What’s all this about?”
Severa didn’t move her gaze from the screen. “What do you mean?”
“This,” Kjelle gestured at the wrapped box next to the coffee table. It was high enough for her to rest her feet on, which she thankfully did not do. “This can’t be all to get in her pants, right?”
Severa slugged her arm. “No, dipshit. Am I not allowed to be nice? She’s got a kid and I have all this shit gathering dust. It’s what anyone would do.”
Kjelle shrugged. “I’m just saying…”
“Saying what?” Severa frowned at her. “You think this is just cause I wanna fuck her?”
“You do, don’t you?”
“W-“ Severa froze. She honestly didn’t have an answer to that question. She did, unquestionably. But it wasn’t just that. It was something more.
“Okay, if I’m translating your blush correctly,” Kjelle snatched the remote and switched the channel. “You do, but you don’t want her to think you’re just in it for the sex.”
Severa folded her arms across her chest and pouted. “Y-yeah,” she muttered.
“That’s what I’m saying,” Kjelle said. “Be careful.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Kjelle looked at her in disbelief. “You know what I mean. You get attached so easily. You’ve been a mess after one failed date. I can’t imagine what a real breakup would do to you.”
Severa buried her face in her shoulder. “That’s not…”
“But you think this one is the one, right?”
“M-maybe.”
“Yeah,” Kjelle said, sitting up. She suddenly looked serious. “Sev, you think everyone is the one. This is the first person you’ve ever been in a relationship with, right? I mean, a real relationship. Not just one date or like, high school shit.”
“So?” Severa seemed to be trying to bury herself into the sofa in frustrated embarrassment.
“So, I just want you to be careful. Like, right now, what are you planning with this girl? Are you gonna marry her? Move into a house in the suburbs and adopt another kid and have a big happy family?”
Severa admitted to herself that sounded kinda nice, actually. She frowned. “No, of course not.”
“So you’re gonna break up with her?”
“No, I-“ Severa stammered, starting to get genuinely upset. “Kjelle, listen, I-“
Kjelle shook her head. “Sev, just hear me out. I don’t wanna make you think I don’t like this girl. She seems real nice. And you seem really happy with her. But you need to think about what you want out of a relationship. She’s got a kid to think about. You can’t string her along, y’know?”
Severa pouted. Kjelle was right, as usual. Severa was so eager to dive headfirst into a relationship that she never really considered the fine details. Sure, she was happy just sort of floating along. But what did Lucina want? What did Lucina need out of a relationship? What did Morgan need?
Severa’s phone rattled on the coffee table. She picked it up. “Yeah?” Her eyes lit up. “Oh, hey! How’s it going?”
Kjelle watched as Severa talked. She could only hear half the conversation, but she could imagine what was being said on the other end.
“Yeah, that sounds…tonight? Sure. What time?...eight again? Alright, great!” she almost hung up before pausing. “Hey, wait! I meant to ask you, uh…when’s Morgan’s birthday? … Oh. Okay. Oh, nothing. Just wondering.” She paused for a longer period of time. “Uh, yeah. No, no. I have an idea. Gimme a second.” Severa covered the phone with her hand. “Hey, Kjelle?”
“Mm?” Kjelle looked up.
“You wanna babysit a kid tonight? I’ll give you twenty bucks.”
Kjelle shook her head. “No can do. Game’s on tonight.”
Severa rolled her eyes. “Okay. Twenty bucks and I’ll give you that sweatshirt you really like.”
Kjelle grinned. “Deal.”
-
“I really can’t thank you enough,” Lucina said to Kjelle as she stepped through the door into her apartment. “I really haven’t been able to find a babysitter, and-“
Kjelle waved her off. “No worries! Really, it’s not a problem.”
“Okay,” Lucina said. “Alright, I left instructions on the counter, my number’s on the fridge, you have Severa’s number, there’s a list of emergency contacts on the fridge as well, there’s leftover pizza in the freezer, you can help yourself to anything in the fridge-“
Severa tugged her out the door. “Come on, it’ll be fine. Kjelle hasn’t killed anyone yet. Morgan’ll be fine.” They descended the steps down to street level. “You seem awfully worried for someone who left her alone while you went on a date with me,” Severa teased her.
“I always made a point to keep that sort of thing short. Under two hours and she’s okay, but longer than that and I start to worry.”
“Too bad the daycare isn’t open in the evenings. But really, Kjelle will be fine. Hell, she hasn’t let me die and I’m probably way harder to take care of then a toddler.”
Lucina laughed. Severa was secretly shaking in her boots, though she did her best to keep that hidden. She and Lucina’s dates had been, as mandated by Lucina’s rules, brief – dinners, lunches, the occasional movie. With Kjelle babysitting, they were free to stay out as late as they wanted. Severa hoped that would give her enough time to consume enough drinks to work up the courage to kiss her, but…
“This is a little more my speed,” Severa admitted as they crossed the threshold of a local pub. It was dim and smoky and music echoed from a jukebox somewhere in the corner. “I always try to impress people on first dates, but I’m much more content to just pick a little place like this.”
Lucina nodded. “You’ve been here before?”
“Yeah, literally dozens of times. Kjelle and I come here for happy hour like, every other week,” Severa said as they sat down at the bar. “They got these fuckin’ crab pretzels that are, no shit, divine.”
Lucina took off her jacket and draped it over her chair. She looked over the drink menu.
“Rum and coke,” Severa ordered. “Uh…you know what? Make it a double. And a crab pretzel.” She turned to Lucina. “And for you?”
“Just a coke, for now,” Lucina said, folding her menu.
Severa nodded and shot the bartender a thumbs-up. “So anyway, like I was saying, they have really good happy hour specials here. I didn’t even realize it was so close to your place until tonight! If you want Kjelle and I to stop by whenever we’re in the neighborhood, we can.”
Lucina shrugged. “Nah, it’s okay.”
“Suit yourself.” Severa downed half of her cocktail in a single gulp. After finishing their appetizers and drinks, Severa ordered a plate of fries and two shots.
Lucina stirred the ice in her second coke nervously.
“You okay?” Severa asked. “You’ve seemed pretty quiet tonight.”
“It’s…yeah,” Lucina said noncommittally. “I’m fine, just tired.”
Severa nodded. She lifted her shot glass. “Well, perk up! We’re just getting started!”
Lucina smiled sadly and shook her head. “Sorry, no thanks.”
Severa set her glass down. “Huh? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t drink.”
Severa frowned. She briefly ran back through their previous dates in her mind. She would order drinks, but Lucina always ordered cokes. Huh.
Lucina smirked. “It’s okay. More for you, right?”
Severa frowned. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. “Jesus, Lucina, sorry I brought you to a fuckin’ bar. I wasn’t even thinking.”
“It’s okay, really!” Lucina shook her head. “It’s okay. Here, drink up!” she pushed her shot glass to Severa.
“Shit, I feel so bad. I-“
Lucina cut her off by raising her soda glass. “Cheers!”
Severa touched the shot glass lightly. “We can go somewhere else, if you want.”
Lucina shook her head and grinned. “And here I was hoping you’d get drunk enough to kiss me tonight!”
Severa felt her face flush.
-
Severa slammed the door shut and bolted the lock before thrusting Lucina back against the wall and pressing their lips together. She opened her mouth to speak but her lips were immediately blocked by Lucina’s tongue thrusting into her. She threaded her hands through Lucina’s hair and let out a muffled moan. Lucina took control, pushing Severa back against the sink. She grabbed her and lifted her up, setting her down on the sink and parting her legs to wrap her arms around her. Severa obliged, wrapping her legs around Lucina’s torso as they kissed.
They broke for air, gasping and heaving in each other’s arms.
Severa felt dizzy, the haze of alcohol and sweat and Lucina’s perfume and the scent of smoke and the feeling of Lucina’s fingers tight against her side and the feeling of her own hands wandering across Lucina’s waist and oh GOD she needed it. She grasped Lucina tightly, pulling her into a squeezing embrace, almost like she was trying to merge with her. She kissed Lucina roughly, thrusting her tongue past her lips and into her soft, warm mouth.
They broke again for air and Lucina softly pushed her back. “Y-you’re kinda crushing me.”
“Sorry,” Severa heaved, scooting backwards, blushing. Or was it just the alcohol? She could pretend.
Lucina propped herself on the sink, breathing heavily.
Severa leaned backward and rested against the mirror, closing her eyes. “I can’t believe my first kiss was in a bar bathroom,” she laughed.
Lucina coughed. “I’m sorry? Your what?”
Severa’s face flushed scarlet. “M-my…I mean, uh…I…” she winced. “You know, my first kiss with you, I mean.”
Lucina smiled and leaned forward. She kissed Severa softly. No tongue, no needy motion. Just soft passion. She pulled back. “Better?”
Severa stared at her, dazed.
-
Severa swirled the ice in her drink, staring into the dark liquid. “Why don’t you drink?” she asked quietly.
The evening had been winding down steadily as the bar crowd shuffled out. Even the music seemed more subdued, slower tunes crackling from the jukebox and Severa and Lucina chatted and ate.
Lucina picked at the almost-empty plate of fries. She chewed thoughtfully.
“I…I used to drink. A lot, actually.” She ate a fry. “After Morgan was born, I was…in a really bad place. I spent a lot of my money on drinks, a lot of money that should have gone towards stuff for Morgan. I would come home from work, drink myself to sleep, then repeat. Day after day after day.”
“Shit,” Severa said without thinking.
“You said it,” Lucina agreed. “I…I got tired of it. You reach a point where you’re just…sick of waking up in a pool of your own vomit. I started attending AA meetings, and now…” she smiled and raised her empty coke glass. “Two years this March.”
“Well, shit. Congrats,” Severa said, genuinely impressed. She felt something in the pit of her stomach, something she couldn’t quite place. Pity? No, that didn’t seem right. But…something akin to that. She felt sick, and it wasn’t just the fifty dollars in cocktails swirling in her innards. Two years. Morgan was four. That meant…two years of…
“You never did tell me what happened,” she said, trying to derail her thoughts. “With Morgan, I mean. Or her dad.”
Lucina nodded, as if weighing the decision in her head. “I was young, and I was stupid, and I was in love.” She sighed. “He was one of my father’s coworkers.”
Severa sat up, pushing her drink aside. It wasn’t just morbid curiosity, though that was part of it.
“After I graduated high school, I took a gap year to intern with my father. That’s where I met Robin.” She stared past Severa. “He…he was the perfect gentleman. Kind, polite, handsome. I was young, and I just fell head-over-heels for him.”
She took a minute to collect her thoughts. “When we first started seeing each other, I was nineteen and he was thirty-two.” She frowned. “I guess that should have been a red flag, but…you know how it is.”
Severa nodded.
“Anyway, I…I put off going to school for him. I stayed and kept working to stay close to him. We…I was in love. I guess he didn’t feel the same way. When I told him I was pregnant, he told me he didn’t love me anymore.” She sighed again. “And that’s about the end of it.”
“Fucker,” Severa snapped. “What a fucking asshole.”
Lucina shrugged. “It’s not just him. I can’t really say I didn’t have a part in it. What the fuck was I thinking, dating someone like him?”
“It’s not your responsibility to not date predatory creeps,” Severa said. “It’s his responsibility to not be a fuckin’ creep.” She finished her drink. “Fuck. And I’m guessing this asshole doesn’t pay child support, either?”
“He doesn’t need to,” Lucina said.
“What do you mean he doesn’t? You’re scraping by!”
“It’s not like we were married. And I’ve never taken him to court.”
“Christ, Lucina! This asshole deserves it!”
Lucina shook her head sadly. “Severa, you…I know your heart is in the right place, but…”
“But what? Don’t tell me this clown still works for your dad!”
Lucina nodded. “He does, which is why I don’t.”
“I’m gonna fuckin’ kill him,” said the cocktails in Severa’s stomach. She growled. “Asshole.”
“Severa…” Lucina put a hand on her leg. “It’s okay. Really. I promise.”
“No, it’s not! This asshole took advantage of you, and now he isn’t even paying for his mistakes! Even worse, he’s living the high life working for your dad while you work at a fucking Staples!”
“Don’t call her a mistake!” Lucina snapped at last, forcefully. She hit the bar with enough force that their drinks rattled. “I wanted her!”
Severa faltered.
“I…” Lucina’s lip quivered. “I wanted to keep her. I know it…it probably wasn’t the right decision, but…”
Severa took her hand. “I’m sorry,” she muttered. “I…I didn’t mean to imply…”
“It’s fine,” Lucina said, brushing her off. “Let’s…let’s just get going, okay?”
-
“So that doesn’t sound like it went great,” Kjelle said as they walked.
It wasn’t great. It was, in fact, terrible, and Severa wanted to die. She fucked it up, like she always did. She pressed Lucina, she said the wrong things, and she fucked it up. It had just been a matter of time until something like this happened. She groaned.
“Kjelle, why am I such a fucking asshole?”
Kjelle shrugged. “Poor parenting?”
Severa let out a huff. “It’s for the best, anyway. Lucina doesn’t need someone like me in her life.”
“Woah, woah, woah! Are you assuming this is the end of it? Like, you two are done?”
Severa shrugged, exasperated. “I dunno! But she thinks I called her kid a mistake, and that certainly didn’t score me any points!”
Kjelle nudged her playfully. “Come on, kiddo. It’s not the end of the world.”
Severa wanted to throw up. It wasn’t the end of the world, but it might as well have been. They had walked back to Lucina’s apartment in silence, and barely even said goodbye. And now, Severa was trudging through the streets towards home, kicking at clumps of slush, wishing she’d slip and break her fucking neck.
Kjelle sighed. “It is the end of the world, isn’t it.”
Severa nodded. She sniffled and hoped Kjelle would assume it was the cold. But of course she didn’t. They knew each other too well for that.
Kjelle’s boots stopped crunching in the snow. “Come on.”
Severa turned slowly, blinking, hoping she could stop the tears before they began. She looked at Kjelle’s open arms. “I don’t want a hug.”
“You do.”
Severa wrapped her arms around her and let out another sniffle. “Why do I keep fucking things up for myself?”
Kjelle squeezed her tightly, tight enough to hear her joints crack. Too hard for most people, but she knew Severa appreciated the pressure. Severa whimpered. Kjelle slowly let go, letting Severa fall from her embrace and stagger back a step.
“Look, Sev. If she means that much to you, just go apologize!”
Severa shook her head and wiped her eyes. “No. She deserves someone better than me.”
Kjelle put her hands on Severa’s shoulders. Severa tilted her head down, not meeting Kjelle’s gaze.
“Look at me. Hey, Sev. Look at me.”
Severa tilted her eyes up.
“She deserves you. And you deserve her. You know what I had to deal with all night? Morgan, going on and on about how much she loves Sevwuh, and how much fun you were. You know what she called you? She called you Mama Sevwuh.”
“She’s four. She doesn’t know anything.”
“No, but she does love you. And I know Lucina does too. Okay? So go. Go apologize to her! I dunno, go have some crazy fuckin’ make-up sex, alright?”
Severa wrinkled her nose and Kjelle laughed.
“Come on, go!” Kjelle pushed her forward.
-
Severa took a deep breath before knocking on the door. The short walk in the cold was helpful, if for no other reason than because it made her flushed face and watery eyes simply look cold, not tearful.
Lucina had no such excuse.
She opened the door, eyes red and puffy. She blinked.
Severa took a step forward and threw her arms around Lucina, squeezing her tightly. “I’m so sorry,” she mumbled breathlessly. “I’m so, so, sorry.”
Lucina returned her embrace. “It’s okay,” she sniffled. “I overreacted. You don’t need to apologize.”
“No, I do!” Severa buried her face in Lucina’s neck. “I…I’ve been terrible all night. I took you to a bar, and I made you talk about these awful things, and then I didn’t even listen to what you had to say!”
“It’s okay,” Lucina whispered hoarsely. “It’s okay.”
They stood there, entwined in the doorway. Severa pulled back just far enough apart to look Lucina in the eye while still holding her. “I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do to make things right?”
Lucina sniffled. “You could kiss me.”
And Severa did.
-
Severa clung tightly to her all night. It wasn’t even sex. They did kiss, of course, but they mostly just held each other, talking softly into the dark hours of the night. Severa squeezed onto her closely, burying herself in Lucina’s soft nightclothes and her long hair and the warm blankets of her bed. The bed was a pile of warmth – they each donned sweaters and flannel pants and cozied up under two blankets. The air was cold – the apartment’s heater was still broken, after all – but Severa had never felt more comfortable in her entire life. She and Lucina, curled together. Soft kisses and gentle touches and slow, grinding embraces.
Lucina put both hands on Severa’s cheeks and kissed her slowly, passionately. She pulled back slightly. “Morgan and I were talking,” she said quietly. “We…we want you to be a part of our family.”
Severa smiled, hoping the tears glittering in her eyes weren’t as obvious as they felt. “I would like that very much.”
-
Lucina rolled over. She frowned. Something felt off. She sat up.
That smell.
She tried to place it. Meat?
She shimmied out from under the covers and winced as her bare feet struck cold hardwood floor. She began digging through the room for a pair of thick wool socks. She padded out into the hall. Sounds drifted through the air. A sizzling sound, gentle music. What sounded like television, maybe? Soft talking.
She emerged into the living room, bleary-eyed, and blinked a couple times before she really got a grasp on the situation.
Severa was in the kitchen, an apron wrapped around her. She was tending to three pans simultaneously – ah, that was the sizzling. Bacon and eggs. Pancakes, too.
Morgan was curled up on the couch, swathed in a blanket, watching television. Lucina paused in the doorway, watching quietly.
Severa was…humming? “Morgan, do you know where your mom keeps the chocolate chips?” she asked.
Morgan shook her head.
“Hmm.” Severa began sifting through the kitchen cabinets.
“Top right shelf, above the stove,” Lucina said.
Severa turned, grinning. “Well, look who decided to join us. Good morning, sleepyhead.”
Lucina crossed into the kitchen. “Good morning. What’s…all this?” she gestured at the stove.
“Oh, sorry,” Severa said as she shook out a bag of chocolate chips into a bowl of pancake batter. “You didn’t…um…you didn’t really have any food in the fridge, so I picked some stuff up at the corner store. There’s milk and orange juice in the fridge, and I picked up some nicer coffee – no offense - if you want me to make a pot. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Of course not,” Lucina smiled. “Thank you, Severa. I don’t even know what to say.”
“Don’t thank me,” Severa said. She gestured a spatula towards Morgan. “She’s the one who asked for pancakes.”
Morgan grinned. “Chocowate!”
Severa smiled at Lucina. “I hope chocowate’s okay.”
Lucina, Severa, and Morgan sat together on the couch eating breakfast and watching cartoons. Severa found herself unable to stop smiling. She felt so…peaceful. There was nothing – no inner critic, no voice of her mother, no urge to swear or shout. Nothing but Lucina and Morgan and pancakes and the blankets piled on the sofa. Light crept through the window, the glow of a sunrise blanketed in snow. Severa let her head drift, resting it on Lucina’s shoulder.
“I have work, you know,” Lucina said quietly.
Severa felt her stomach lurch. No! she wanted to shout. It wasn’t fair! No one should be able to take this moment from her. But she didn’t shout. She simply nodded, rubbing her nose against Lucina’s shoulder, nuzzling her. “I figured.”
“I have to be in at noon.”
“That gives us a few more hours.”
“Yeah.” Lucina kissed her forehead.
“And then what?” Severa asked, dreading the answer. She didn’t want to go home. Back to her apartment with Kjelle, her lonely bedroom. She never wanted to be alone again.
“I guess…I could see you tonight, after work?”
“I could stay!” Severa blurted out without thinking. “I…I could stay and watch Morgan. If…I mean, if you…wanted.”
Lucina smiled warmly. “Well, that’s not really my call to make. Morgan, do you want to stay with Severa today?”
“Yeh!” Morgan beamed. “Mama Sevwuh said we’d pway today!”
Lucina raised her eyebrow. “Oh? I see you’ve already discussed this.”
Severa blushed. “I…may have suggested it.”
Lucina grasped Severa’s chin and pulled her into a soft, slow kiss.