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Subject: ! Meeting (High Importance)

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From: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

To: noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

CC: Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

Subject: ! Meeting (High Importance)

His Imperial Majesty has scheduled a meeting to discuss the recent acquisition of the Lucian Crystal and the implementation of all safety procedures associated with its storage. The goal of the meeting is to create a standard template to be used in relation to the Crystal, both in any discussion with outside entities and with those personnel tasked with its safety.

This meeting is on a need-to-know basis and should be considered confidential. His Imperial Majesty would like me to remind you that breaking any such confidentiality oath will be considered high treason, the penalty for which is public execution by firing squad.

I have consulted the calendars of all those involved and have scheduled it for next Wednesday at 2 pm. Any and all conflicting appointments of a personal nature should be rescheduled. The meeting will take place in the conference room west of Dr. Besithia’s laboratory.

Please let me know if you have questions.

Thank you,

Laura Tallus

Executive Assistant to His Imperial Majesty Iedolas Aldercapt

____

From: Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

To: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

CC: noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

Subject: Re: ! Meeting (High Importance)

Might I simplify this entire thing by saying the standard template should be “don’t touch it and leave it alone?”

It seems as if that would save us the necessity of a meeting, and those do tend to be quite a bother.

Warmest regards,

Chancellor Ardyn Izunia

___

From: highwind_a@nif.mil.imp

To: Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

Subject: Re: ! Meeting (High Importance)

Yeah because “don’t touch it and leave it alone” worked so well for Lucis, LOL.

Oh if you’re going to antagonize Tallus via email, could we get some damn donuts or something at these meetings? I can’t stand being forced to listen to Ulldor talk that soon after lunch without a palate cleanser, and the only good snack left in the vending machine was purchased sometime during the last dynasty. All we have now is Snaga soda :(

ALL HAIL THE EMPIRE THAT PROVIDES SNACKS AT MEETINGS, FOR THEY SHALL INHERIT MY LOYALTY, MY BLADE AND MY CONTRACT EXTENSION.

(Oh and Izunia MISS ME with that thing where you “accidentally” hit reply-all or forward or whatever you try blaming it on. I will drag you to the firing squad with me, so help me Astrals, if you say this was my idea. )

Happy hunting,

Commodore Aranea Highwind

Currently under contract to the Niflheim Empire

___

From: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

To: Izunia_A@nif.gov.imp

CC: noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

Subject: Suggestions for Crystal Standards and Procedures Template

Imperial Chancellor,

Thank you for your suggestion to the proposed template for standard interactions with the Lucian Crystal. I have started a Moogle document and will include the link below. Please add any suggestions you may have to the document, but be advised that access is strictly monitored, and the “revisions and previous versions” setting can only be disabled by the creator of the document.

Please keep in mind this is confidential and official Imperial business; no disrespectful or treasonous language will be tolerated.

(MOOGLE DOC) Suggestions for Crystal Interaction Template to Be Discussed At Weds Meeting

Thank you,

Lauren Tallus

Executive Assistant to His Imperial Majesty Iedolas Aldercapt

____

From: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

To: Izunia_A@nif.gov.imp

CC: noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

Subject: ! Proper Protocol for Shared Documents (High Importance)

Attachment: Code of Conduct for Confidential Inter-Office Communication.doc

I am sending a copy of the proper protocol involving all shared documents and other inter-office communications.

Please note in particular number 4, subsection C:

Contributors are advised that the owner has final content approval over all additions to the document.

It is my responsibility to format your suggestions in a manner that will be both appropriate and helpful for the upcoming discussion on Wednesday. Once I have edited your suggestion into the appropriate format, please do not attempt to make any further edits or return the edited text to the original.

Thank you,

Lauren Tallus

Executive Assistant to His Imperial Majesty Iedolas Aldercapt

_____

From: Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

To: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

CC: noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

Subject: Re: ! Proper Protocol for Shared Documents (High Importance)

Not that I in any way discourage verbosity, but I rather thought “don’t touch it and leave it alone” was sufficiently clear enough to stand on its own merits.

Do not engage physically with the Crystal, either with your limbs or the limbs of others (voluntarily or by force), without prior authorization does rather suggest that one may be able to obtain prior authorization to force a poor janitor to grasp the holy beacon of Lucis’s light in his bare hands just to see what might happen.

Whereas “don’t touch it and leave it alone” seemed a bit less open to interpretation, but I bow to your shared document expertise and leave it in your capable administrative hands, Ms. Tallus.

Warmest Regards,

Chancellor Ardyn Izunia

_____

From: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

To: Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

CC: noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

Subject: Prior Authorization Inquiry

Any request involving forced physical interaction with the Crystal with a member of the cleaning staff will be summarily denied, on the grounds of willfully injuring unsanctioned personnel.

However, you may submit your request through official channels through the following link:

Request for Prior Authorization

Any and all denial appeals should be made in writing to this email address. Please attach a copy of the initial appeal, the form rejection email, and a brief statement as to why your request should be granted. Your appeal will be given due consideration, and the ultimate decision will be made by His Imperial Majesty.

All decisions are final and once denied, an appeal cannot be resubmitted. Also, three unsuccessful appeal attempts in one calendar year accrues a one year penalty, in which you are not allowed to file for an appeal for the duration of the fiscal year.

Chancellor Izunia, you are not eligible to file an appeal until FY 759.

Thank you,

Laura Tallus

Executive Assistant to His Imperial Majesty Iedolas Aldercapt

_____

From: Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

To: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

CC: noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

Subject: Re: Request for Prior Authorization

You see, Aranea, my dear, this is why you’ll have to request the snacks for our meeting. I’m apparently over my allotment and it shall be quite a bit before I can make any further requests.

But I’m sure they won’t deny your vehement need for, how did you say it – a palate cleanser?

Warmest Regards,

Chancellor Ardyn Izunia

_____

 

From: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

To: izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

CC: noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

Subject: Clarification regarding Appeals and Prior Authorization and Requisitions Link

Chancellor Izunia.,

You are not barred from submitting a request to obtain prior authorization, merely from appealing any potential rejections received as a result.

Commodore Highwind, a request for acquisitions (including meeting refreshments) can be made utilizing the following online form. Please allow 24-48 hours before following up on your request, and please do not submit form (A), which is to be used only for military and other vital safety equipment.

Request for Requisitions Form (B)

Thank you,

Laura Tallus

Executive Assistant to His Imperial Majesty Iedolas Aldercapt

______

From: highwind_a@nif.mil.imp

To: Admin@Calendar.net (tallus_ L@nif.gov.imp)

Subject: Appointment Request for Shared Calendars (Group A: Security Clearance: Highest)

Aranea Highwind would like to add the following appointment to Group A: Security Clearance: Highest shared calendar.

What: Firing Squad for Ardyn Izunia

When: Tomorrow at Dawn

Attendees: everyone

Note: party afterward at my place! Byob.

Accept Appointment (with note)

Reject Appointment (with note)

You are receiving this message as administrator of the Shared Calendar. Please do not reply to this email message. To add or change administrators, access your Shared Calendar dashboard and go to the Settings tab.

_______________________________

From: admin@calendar.net (tallus_l@nif.gov.imp)

To: highwind_a@nif.mil.imp

Subject: REJECTED: Appointment Request for Shared Calendars (Group A: Security Clearance: Highest)

Your appointment suggestion for Group A: Security Clearance: Highest has been denied by the administrator with the following note: 

All executions are at the discretion of His Imperial Majesty. If you have pertinent information requiring a possible personnel security breach, you are urged to contact the proper authorities via your department’s chain of command. If you feel you cannot do so for reasons of personal safety, you may fill out the following form:

Potential Threat (Personnel) (Complaint: Anonymous)

Please be advised that if your complaint is investigated, you will be required to identity yourself and present all pertinent information regarding the issue. The Empire has a zero tolerance policy for treason or internal sabotage. Any false claims based on personal vendettas will be prosecuted and could end in substantial fines, dismissal of employment, jail time, work service, involuntary participation in ongoing research or, in extreme situations, public execution by firing squad.

Thank you for keeping our Empire safe. If you have any questions regarding this procedure, you should contact the highest member of your department’s chain of command. In the case of the military, that would Imperial High Commander Ravus Nox Fleuret (noxfleuret_R@imp.mil.gov).

This message has been sent via the administrator of your Shared Calendar group. Do not reply to this message. If you have any questions, please contact the administrator directly at tallus_l@nif.gov.imp.

Thank you.

_______

To: noxfleuret_R@imp.mil.gov

From: highwind_a@imp.mil.gov

Subject: FW: REJECTED: Appointment Request for Shared Calendars (Group A: Security Clearance: Highest)

Sooooooo, come on, you don’t like him anymore than I do!

I’m sure if you made the request that it would go through.

DO THE RIGHT THING HERE, NOX FLEURET.

Happy hunting,

Commodore Aranea Highwind

Currently under contract to the Niflheim Empire

_______FORWARDED MESSAGE BELOW_________

From: admin@calendar.net (tallus_l@nif.gov.imp)

To: highwind_a@nif.mil.imp

Subject: REJECTED: Appointment Request for Shared Calendars (Group A: Security Clearance: Highest)

Your appointment suggestion for Group A: Security Clearance: Highest has been denied by the administrator with the following note: 

All executions are at the discretion of His Imperial Majesty. If you have pertinent information requiring a possible personnel security breach, you are urged to contact [EXPAND]

_____________

From: Noxfleuret_R@nif.mil.imp

To: tallus_L@nif.gov.imp

CC: izunia_a@nif.gov.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

Subject: (Out of Office) Re: ! Meeting (High Importance)

Thank you for your message. Unfortunately, I am presently engaged in military activities on behalf of the Niflheim Empire, and do not have reliable or secure access to email. I will respond to your message once I have returned to Gralea.  If you need immediate assistance, I suggest you get in line.

Unless your email is full of nonsense that does not concern me or the Empire’s military pursuits, in which case, I shall ignore it as I do everything else of little importance.

Yours in service,

High Commander Ravus Nox Fleuret

PS: If you wish to have someone shot, do it yourself. I assure you it is not that difficult.

________________________

From: Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

To: noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp

CC: besithia_v@nif.sci.imp; tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, tallus_l@nif.gov.impm

Subject: (Out of Office) Re: ! Meeting (High Importance)

Well done, Ravus. And here I was worried I was going to have to fill out that Requisitions Form to get you a sense of humor.

Warmest regards,

Chancellor Ardyn Izunia

_____

From: Tallus_A@nif.gov.imp

To: noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

CC: Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

Subject: Reminder on proper use and procedure of Requisitions Forms

Please do not utilize the Requisitions Form for non-material goods.

Thank you,

Laura Tallus

Executive Assistant to His Imperial Majesty Iedolas Aldercapt

____

From: highwind_a@nif.mil.imp

To: Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

Subject: OMG

FYI I tried to schedule your execution at dawn and she wouldn’t let me LOL

Like, I even used the official “submit an appointment” thing to the shared calendar. She’s a stickler for the rules, that one.

Happy hunting,

Commodore Aranea Highwind

Currently under contract to the Niflheim Empire

______________

To: highwind_a@nif.mil.imp

From: izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

Subject: Re: OMG

Aranea, I never get up before 10 if I can help it. Perhaps you should send a revision?

I would, but there are similar procedures in place for having too many denied appointments in a calendar year. At this rate I cannot schedule a meeting until late 780, early 781. :(

Warmest regards,

Chancellor Ardyn Izunia

______

From: highwind_a@nif.mil.imp

To: Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

Subject: Re: Re: OMG

I don’t think you’re a real person.

Happy hunting,

Commodore Aranea Highwind

Currently under contract to the Niflheim Empire

_____

To: highwind_a@nif.mil.imp

From: izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

Subject: FW: Getting To Know…Chancellor Izunia!  

Of course I am! Look, I did this interview for Niflheim Today a few years ago, it’s very educational. I have favorite fruits, favorite songs, and I even talked about my favorite hat!

Getting To Know….Chancellor Izunia! (Link to article)  

Warmest regards,

Chancellor Ardyn Izunia

________

From: highwind_a@nif.mil.imp

To: Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

Subject: Re: FW: Getting To Know…Chancellor Izunia!

This says your favorite fruit is “the lies men tell themselves”

Happy hunting,

Commodore Aranea Highwind

Currently under contract to the Niflheim Empire

______________

To: highwind_a@nif.mil.imp

From: izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

Subject: Re: Re: FW: Getting To Know…Chancellor Izunia!

They are indeed the most delicious.  

Warmest regards,

Chancellor Ardyn Izunia

_____

From: ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp

To: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp; noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp

Subject: Re: ! Meeting (High Importance)

I WILL BE THERE.

CALIGO ULLDOR

GENERAL, ARMY

____________________

From: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

To: izunia_a@nif.gov.imp, ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp; tummelt_l@nif.gov.imp, noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp

Subject: Protocol for Shared Calendar Appointments

Attachment: Quick Tips and Tricks for Utilizing Shared Calendar Groups.doc

General Ulldor,

It is not necessary for you to RSVP to events added to the shared calendar. It has already been added to your schedule. Please consult the attached guidelines for assistance.

Thank you,

Laura Tallus

Executive Assistant to His Imperial Majesty Iedolas Aldercapt

________________

From: ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp

To: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp; noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp

Subject: Re: Protocol for Shared Calendar Appointments

EVERYONE ELSE IS.

CALIGO ULLDOR

GENERAL, ARMY

______

From: highwind_a@nif.mil.imp

To: ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp

CC: To: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp; Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp; noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp

Subject: Re: Re: Protocol for Shared Calendar Appointments

And if everyone jumped off a cliff, would you?

Also, Caligo, you know all caps means you’re yelling, right?

Happy hunting,

Commodore Aranea Highwind

Currently under contract to the Niflheim Empire

_____

From: ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp

To: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp; noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp

Subject: Re: Re: Protocol for Shared Calendar Appointments

WHAT?

CALIGO ULLDOR

GENERAL, ARMY

_____

From: tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp

To: tallus_L@nif.gov.imp

CC: ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp; highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp; noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp

Subject: Remove me from this insanity at once!!!

Could you please remove me from this inane email thread, some of us are trying to do actual work in the name of his Imperial Majesty! I have far too much to do than be subjected to your chatter as you sit safely behind the walls I and my men are fighting and dying to maintain!!

I do, however, second the request for refreshments. And possibly some tea that doesn’t taste like swill like that Tenebraen nonsense we’ve suddenly been forced to endure, so weak and floral.

ALL GLORY TO THE EMPIRE AND OUR HOLY EMPEROR!

Br. Gen. L. Tummelt

_______

From: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

To: tummelt_L@nif.mil.imp

CC: ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp; highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp; noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp

Subject: Requisitions Form Link

Brigadier General Tummelt,

A request for acquisitions (including meeting refreshments) can be made utilizing the following online form. Please allow 24-48 hours before following up on your request, and please do not submit form (A), which is to be used only for military and other vital safety equipment.

Request for Requisitions Form (B)

While the availability of refreshments is not a certainty, if the request is approved there will be the usual assortment of coffees, teas and water. I would advise getting there early to make certain you have your beverage of choice prior to the start of the meeting.

This email is not an approval for any such request made for meeting refreshments, and should not be considered binding in any way.

Thank you,

Laura Tallus

Executive Assistant to His Imperial Majesty Iedolas Aldercapt

_________________

From: noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp

To: Tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

CC: ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp; highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp; tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp

Subject: Disregard Request for Requisitions by order of the Imperial High Commander

Ms. Tallus,

I believe Brigadier General Tummelt intended to mask a derogatory statement about my birthplace in his remark about the tea, hence his reference that it was both “weak” and “flowery.”

As the Imperial High Commander, please disregard his earlier email. And his beverage preferences.

Yours in service,

High Commander Ravus Nox Fleuret

________

From: tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp

To: Tallus_l@nif.gov.imp;

CC: ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp; highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp; noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp

Subject: Re: Disregard Request for Requisitions by order of the Imperial High Commander

As long as there is tea of a greater, stronger variety, I can safely ignore the weaker version in favor of that which is more pleasing to my palate. As an Imperial man, I cannot fathom why anyone would prefer tea other than that which combs from the earth of our GLORIOUS EMPIRE.

ALL GLORY TO THE EMPIRE AND OUR HOLY EMPEROR!

Br. Gen. L. Tummelt

____________________

From: ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp

To: Tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

CC: tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp; highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp; noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp

Subject: Re: Re: Disregard Request for Requisitions by order of the Imperial High Commander

CAN WE HAVE COFFEE

TEA IS DUMB

COFFEE IS A MAN’S DRINK

CALIGO ULLDOR

GENERAL, ARMY

_________________________

From: Tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

To: ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp

CC: tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp; highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp; noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp

Subject: Request for Requisitions Form

A request for acquisitions (including meeting refreshments) can be made utilizing the following online form. Please allow 24-48 hours before following up on your request, and please do not submit form (A), which is to be used only for military and other vital safety equipment.

Request for Requisitions Form (B)

While the availability of refreshments is not a certainty, if the request is approved there will be the usual assortment of coffees, teas and water. I would advise getting there early to make certain you have your beverage of choice prior to the start of the meeting.

This email is not an approval for any such request made for meeting refreshments, and should not be considered binding in any way.

Thank you,

 Laura Tallus

Executive Assistant to His Imperial Majesty Iedolas Aldercapt

___________________________

From: Besithia_V@nif.sci.imp

To: noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

CC: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

Subject: A Dire Warning For Your Own Good

If any of you spill something on my equipment, you shall find yourself involuntarily assigned to any one of my ongoing projects and beverage choice will be the least of your worries.

Though I would appreciate if we could have a savory option as well as a sweet as far as snacks. Donuts wreak havoc on my blood sugar, and if you want the man in charge of your daemon-infused weaponry to be angry at the world and you in particular, then by all means, bring only the custard-infused donuts like last time.

See how that self-destruct mechanism works then.

Sincerely in Science,

Verstael Besithia, PhD, MD, MSD,

Imperial Science Advisor

Suma Cum Laude, Gralea University, Science Department  

________________________
From: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

To: besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

CC: noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

Subject: Request for Requisitions Form

Dr. Besithia,

A request for acquisitions (including meeting refreshments) can be made utilizing the following online form. Please allow 24-48 hours before following up on your request, and please do not submit form (A), which is to be used only for military and other vital safety equipment.

Request for Requisitions Form (B)

While the availability of refreshments is not a certainty, if the request is approved there will be the usual assortment of sweet and savory options. I would advise getting there early to make certain you have your carbohydrate of choice prior to the start of the meeting.

This email is not an approval for any such request made for meeting refreshments, and should not be considered binding in any way.

Thank you,

Laura Tallus

Executive Assistant to His Imperial Majesty Iedolas Aldercapt

_________

From: highwind_a@nif.mil.imp,

To: besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

CC: noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp, Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp, tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

Subject: CREAM FILLED DONUTS????

Wait, hold up, when were there custard filled donuts???

Because real talk time, every astrals-damned meeting I EVER have had to go to, including the one where they gave me a contract and suckered me in to even FIGHTING for this stupid empire and thereby landing me in bureaucracy email-chain hell, NO ONE gave me a custard filled donut.  NO. ONE.

  1. ONE.

!!!!!

Happy hunting,

Commodore Aranea Highwand

Currently under contract to the Niflheim Empire

______________

From: Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

To: highwind_a@nif.mil.imp

CC: besithia_v@nif.sci.imp, noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp, tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

I don’t think you were invited to that particular meeting, my dear.

Warmest regards,

Chancellor Ardyn Izunia

______

From: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

To: highwind_a@nif.gov.imp

Subject: VIOLATION Standard of Email Etiquette (Reminder 5)

Attachment: Prior violations (A. Highwind).doc

Commodore Highwind,

As stated in the previous four email reminders (please see attached for dates sent and accompanying documentation), you are advised to remember at all times that your official email address is property of the Niflheim Empire. As the owner of said email address, you agree to uphold the standards of Empire in all communications therein; which includes limiting the use of profanity, avoiding potentially defamatory or libelous language, and breaking confidentiality agreements in regard to official business.

You currently have five (5) warnings for inappropriate email usage.

On the sixth (6) warning, be advised you will be required to re-take your Standards and Procedures: Online Communication web course and associated test.

On the seventh (7) warning, your email account will be suspended pending an investigation.

On the eight (8), you risk potential fines, unemployment, or involuntary enrollment in a variety of sanctioned projects.

There is no ninth (9) warning.

If you would like further information, please see your employee handbook. If you need an updated copy, one will be sent to you.

Thank you,

Laura Tallus

Executive Assistant to His Imperial Majesty Iedolas Aldercapt

____________________

From: highwind_a@nif.mil.imp

To: izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

Subject: (no subject)

What level of email warning are you on? If I’m on 5, you gotta be at least on 8 by now.

Happy hunting,

Commodore Aranea Highwind

Currently under contract to the Niflheim Empire

_____

From: Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

To: highwind_a@nif.mil.imp

Subject: Re: (no subject)

A gentleman never reveals his number, darling.

Warmest regards,

Chancellor Ardyn Izunia

_____

From: highwind_a@nif.mil.imp

To: Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

Subject: can you see my eyeroll from here I bet you can

I know, that’s why I asked YOU

[img: moogle with a halo]

Happy hunting,

Commodore Aranea Highwind

Currently under contract to the Niflheim Empire

____________

From: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

To: noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

CC: Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

Subject: Additional Clarification Re: Crystal Shared Document

The shared document is intended for suggestions to be implemented as protocol for the recently acquired Crystal.

This includes, but is not limited to: safety procedures, personnel authorization, potential for injury, safeguarding from theft, proper care and maintenance, appropriate scientific study, and the necessity for protective garments (eyewear, earwear, outwear).

It is not intended as a suggestion for other meeting agenda items, as the meeting is to be entirely focused on the above mentioned protocol.

It is also not intended as a list for suggesting meeting refreshments.

Thank you,

Laura Tallus

Executive Assistant to His Imperial Majesty Iedolas Aldercapt

_________________-

From: ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp

To: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

CC: noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, izunia_a@nif.gov.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

Subject: Re: Additional Clarification Re: Crystal Shared Document

THEN WHERE DO I PUT WHAT KIND OF COFFEE I WANT

IS THAT ANOTHER TAB

CALIGO ULLDOR

GENERAL, ARMY

__________________

From: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

To: Ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp

CC: noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, izunia_a@nif.gov.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

Subject: FW: Request for Requisitions Form

 

Please see below.

Thank you,

Laura Tallus

-----BEGIN FOWARDED MESSAGE BELOW:-----------

From: Tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

To: ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp

CC: tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp; highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp; noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp

Subject: Request for Requisitions Form

A request for acquisitions (including meeting refreshments) can be made utilizing the following online form. Please allow 24-48 hours before following up on your request, and please do not submit form (A), which is to be used only for military and other vital safety equipment.

Request for Requisitions Form (B)

While the availability of refreshments is not a certainty, if the [EXPAND]

__________________________________

From: imsohighwindrightnow@mogmail.com

To: toobiggsformybritches@mogmail.com, deezwedge@mogmail.com

Subject: WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS

Attachment: [email thread]

Boys, I think it might be time to discuss not renewing that contract.

These people are crazy.

Like. Just read this email thread, because the one thing no one’s mentioning? The ONE THING??

This entire meeting is set up by an overly eager executive assistant regarding A STOLEN. MAGIC. CRYSTAL.

Like. The meeting is about a LEGIT MAGIC ROCK and we’re all taking it seriously???

Let’s go hunt Spiracorns in Lucis, by the Six, I CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE.

Also one time they had custard-filled donuts in a meeting and didn’t invite me >:(

~Aranea Highwind~

Mercenary. Badass. Open to Inquiries.

______________________________________

From: deezwedge@mogmail.com

To: toobiggsformybritches@mogmail.com, imsohighwindrightnow@mogmail.com

Subject: Re: WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS

You got another email warning, didn’t you, lol, what is that now? Seven? Eight?

Wedge

_______________-

From: imsohighwindrightnow@mogmail.com

To: toobiggsformybritches@mogmail.com, deezwedge@mogmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS

A lady never reveals her number, Wedgie.

;)

~Aranea Highwind~

Mercenary. Badass. Open to Inquiries.

______

From: toobiggsformybritches@mogmail.com

To: imsohighwindrightnow@mogmail.com, deezwedge@mogmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: WHY ARE THEY LIKE THAT

I know, that’s why he asked YOU

“Another day, another cameo.” – Biggs

______________

From: deezwedge@mogmail.com

To: toobiggsformybritches@mogmail.com, imsohighwindrightnow@mogmail.com

Subject: HERE LET ME GET YOU SOME ICE FOR THAT BURN

[image: Shiva’s corpse in the snow]

Wedge

_____________

 

From: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

To: noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

CC: Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

Subject: Access to shared document disabled

Please note that access to the shared document “Suggested Crystal Procedures” has been locked.

If you have further thoughts, please make a note and be prepared to discuss at the meeting on Wednesday.

Thank you,

Laura Tallus

Executive Assistant to His Imperial Majesty Iedolas Aldercapt

____________

From: Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

To: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

Subject: my most HUMBLE apologies

Attached: APPROVED: Travel Request.doc

My dear Ms. Tallus,

I’m so very sorry, I know how much effort you’ve put into organizing this meeting regarding our newly-acquired gem of a Crystal – but as you can see, the Emperor himself has approved my travel request for Galdin Quay so I’m terribly sad to say I shall be missing out on what I’m certain will be a scintillating discussion.

Do feel free to send along the meeting minutes and I shall give them my most thorough attention when I return.

Warmest regards,

Chancellor Ardyn Izunia

PS: I shall bring you a trinket from the Quay for your collection! Perhaps a nice lovely magnet, showing a warm, sunny beach scene. I’d bring you a snowglobe, but…well, you do have access to a window. Don’t you?

___________________

From: tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

To: noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp

CC: Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

Subject: ! MEETING CANCELATION (High Importance)

Due to an unforeseen issue regarding Imperial Izunia’s impending travel to Galdin Quay for “strategic networking” purposes, the meeting scheduled for this Weds. At 2 pm in the Conference Room West of Dr. Besithia’s laboratory will be canceled.

Upon Chancellor Izunia’s return, the meeting will be rescheduled. In the meantime, His Imperial Majesty is working closely with Dr. Besithia and the Science department on a list of initial procedures to be followed in regards to the Crystal.

While more detailed instructions and procedures will follow, the following protocol should be observed at all times:

All personnel are forbidden from engaging with the Lucian Crystal in any fashion, physically or metaphysically, and the existence of the Lucian Crystal is on a need-to-know basis and should not be discussed with anyone whose security clearance is below Level: Highest.

Thank you,

Laura Tallus

Executive Assistant to His Imperial Majesty Iedolas Aldercapt

_____________

From: Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

To: noxfleuret_r@nif.mil.imp, tummelt_l@nif.mil.imp, ulldor_c@nif.mil.imp, highwind_a@nif.mil.imp, besithia_v@nif.sci.imp., tallus_l@nif.gov.imp

Subject: Re: ! MEETING CANCELATION (High Importance)

So, in other words…don’t touch it and leave it alone? 

Warmest regards,

Chancellor Ardyn Izunia

_____

From: highwind_a@nif.mil.imp

To: Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

Subject: hahahahaaaaaaa

[IMAGE: Shiva’s frozen corpse]

Ardyn you are SUCH a fucking troll.

Happy hunting,

Commodore Aranea Highwind

Currently under Contract to the Niflheim Empire

________

From: Izunia_a@nif.gov.imp

To: highwind_a@nif.mil.imp

Subject: (Out of office message) Re: hahahahaaaaaaa

Alas, I am but an impatient traveler, ready to turn ship – and I shall respond to your message when next I am in port.

If you are disinclined toward metaphors, spoken plainly – I am traveling, and shall likely not bother to check my email, consider I rarely bother checking it when I’m here.

If this is an emergency, please contact Laura Tallus at tallus_l@nif.gov.imp, and do ask her all about her figurine collection.

Warmest regards,

Chancellor Ardyn Izunia