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alate loneliness

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Chapter one

Paraprosexia (n.) Constant distraction.

As humans, if we would be reminded every day that we could lose someone close to us at any given moment… We would love them more fiercely and openly, without the daunting fear--
Not because there is nothing to lose, but because we finally realize everything can always be lost.

Peter let out a deep sigh, webbing from buildings watching the noisy streets of Queens, even at midnight the streets were still filled with screams and teens getting drunk beyond belief, clubs blasting their music as drivers drove onto the freeway.

Settling on the top of a small apartment building, the teen staring down at his gloved hands. Of all the people he’s hurt, he’s hurt himself the most, nights like these it was hard for the young teen to focus-- to think. With all the constant distractions in the way. Peter spending most nights drenched in long patrols and talks with himself about all the things he could have done better, all the things that may have never happened if he was just there fast enough.

Clenching his fist, looking out at the bright city lights, ‘almost twenty…’ the boy thought aloud, it had been two years since the brunette had last talked to his friends, Ned, Mj.
He’d always thought they’d stay by his side, at least Ned would… But he failed them, he messed up and caused them to lose faith. Well, what was Peter? Just a man in skinny way too tight spandex? Chuckling at the thought, but it was true.

If he hadn’t been bitten by that spider, where would he be? Kicking his legs against the side of the building, the frigid breeze blowing past. ‘Would I still have met Mr.Stark?” puffing out his chest with a hmph, like a man of Tony Stark status would meet with a brainiac teen.

Standing up, letting out a sigh, “Karen, whats the time?” the ai speaking in a calming voice, “It is 1:36 am” Webbing down, slinging from the rooftops as the superhero began to make his way home, home… That was all the kid had left at this point in his life, Mr.Stark-- Tony and him rarely spoke since the incident with Adrien, the vulture now locked behind solid gates, ruining Liz’s life the girl now growing up without a father…

Refusing to become an avenger, but what would he avenge? Each person had a goal, but what was his?

It was a mystery how the boy could hide all his pain behind a smile, practice maybe? But a smile that barely any could see threw, crying himself to sleep as the thunder of thoughts kept him from a peaceful slumber. Climbing through the window in the small bedroom that belonged to the vigilant, taking off his suit as he hit it in the ceiling, laughing to himself from what he once thought it was such an amazing spot till Mr.Stark had come in and found it within a few seconds, looking at his desk reading the time that was written in bold red blocks as beside it sat a picture of himself, Ned, MJ and Aunt May. Smiling, it was amazing, the picture would never change, never alter, never fade yet the people, the people will change, how best friends can vanish or how strange it is from going to late night conversations to meaningless silence.

How staying together forever turns into a few short months that Peter would do anything to get back, how he’d let something go that he spoke that he could never live without, Peter laid on his bed looking up at the ceiling, placing his arms under his head. People make promises, but they are always broken in some manner, then the person erases you from their lives just because it's would easier than working things out.

Sharing a quick glance with his phone, the bright screen glaring at the boy's eyes, groaning tossing the piece of technology to the floor, flopping onto the side, pulling the covers over a slender frame, now for the battle of the night, will it be too hot or too cold?