It had been a month since that goodbye in front of the courtroom. It had been a month since they saw each other. A month since he felt anything but angst and headache because of the hangovers.
She was hurt too, but she must continue working and pretending she was okay. Everything was breaking down and they were doing nothing about it.
It was 11 pm on a saturday night.
Rafael was lying on the floor, after a bottle of cheap alcohol he had bought. Normally, he would have hated it but not now, not anymore.
"Soy un puto cobarde, joder, ¡un puto cobarde!" (1) He thought out loud.
He had been thinking about that moment since it happened and he had been tormenting himself every minute of each day. He couldn't stand it anymore. For once in his life, he felt brave enough too show his feelings and he didn't have to think about it twice.
He dressed with a black hoodie and a pair of jeans, the first thing he found. He ordered an Uber and, in less than 20 minutes, he was in front of her door.
He knocked without hesitation, resting on the wall to avoid falling down.
A sleepy Olivia opened the door, having trouble to keep her eyes opened while doing it. But she opened them quickly when she saw what she saw. A drunk, baggy-eyed and unsteady Rafael Barba. Even in spite of this, he was highly attractive. His hair was messy and he had a 4 days beard that was driving her crazy.
"Liv" He sighed as a relief.
"Rafael, what are you doing here? You know what time is it?" She asked in a low tone to avoid waking up everyone as she took him in. "Oh my good, you can't even stand by your own. Come here" She said and she help him to sit on her sofa. She positioned herself in front of him.
"Liv" He sighed again, smiling, like if he couldn't believe she was right there. "Soy un gilipollas y soy un cobarde, aunque no tanto porque aquí estoy" (2) He started laughing sadly as he looked at her. He was starting feeling sleepy and he knew he would fall sleep in no time. "Te quiero Olivia, siempre te he querido y siempre te querré" (3) He mumbled and he nod off.
Olivia, who has understood almost everything he said, couldn't avoid smiling at his cute face while sleeping. "We'll talk about this tomorrow. Yo también te quiero" (4) She whispered. She covered him up with a blanket, kissed his cheek and went to bed, wondering if he would remember something the next day.