"Muhyo, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about."
He looked to Roji, who began fidgeting as soon as their eyes met. His assistant immediately looked down. "I, er... um... w-well, the thing is... I..."
Muhyo narrowed his eyes. "Just say it."
"I... I love you, okay?!" Roji blurted out.
Just as he did, Muhyo awoke with a start. He sat up quickly, and took a deep breath to calm his pounding heart. "What the hell..." he muttered.
Roji had just come downstairs from making lunch for the two of them, but upon seeing Muhyo so disoriented, he rushed over. "Muhyo? What's wrong? Are you okay?"
"Idiot. I'm fine," he snapped automatically. Yet he couldn't look his assistant in the eye. "J-just go back upstairs."
As soon as the words escaped his lips, there was no taking it back. That stutter. He had never stuttered before. Roji appeared shocked, then heavily concerned. "But-"
"Don't make me repeat myself."
Roji squeaked, "O-okay..." and hurried back upstairs.
"Dammit..." Muhyo groaned. It wasn't as though he didn't have those feelings for Roji. But to have them haunt his waking moments like that... well, it was unsettling, to say the least.
Maybe he just needed some time away from the office. A walk would do well. Yet he felt a pang in his chest at the thought of leaving Roji alone here. Which was another thing that had never happened before. What was with him today? He sighed, getting out of bed. However, everything felt so faint to him...
I wonder what happened to Muhyo.
He stuttered, for one. I never heard him do that before. Quite frankly, I've only seen him disgruntled by a dream once. And he didn't tell me what that one was about either.
I'm the one who usually wakes up from nightmares. Sometimes, they're about the ghosts we fight. Sometimes, they're just flat-out bizarre. But mostly, they're about...
Wait. That's not important.
I mean, it is. But not right now. What I need to do is take care of Muhyo.
Ah, but he was so mean to me-
No. That's selfish and immature. I placed the bowl of ramen on the table and approached the stairs, taking a deep breath. I'm going to do the right thing.
I didn't have to go very far. He was right in front of me.
Roji gave me a huge smile. One that made my heart flutter. "Oh, hey! I was just going to get you!" He cheerfully declared.
It was taking all I had not to express my feelings. Why was it so difficult for me to do now? I decided to not focus on that. Instead, I looked past Roji, and at the table. I rolled my eyes at the bowls and glanced up at him again. "We couldn't afford anything good?" I remarked with a sneer. The smile then fell, and I inwardly slapped myself. What the fuck was wrong with me? I've never been this ungrateful. It's like I'm not even in control of myself anymore.
Luckily enough, he pouted, meaning he didn't take it so seriously, as far as I know. "Come on, Muhyo, cut me some slack! I'm doing my best!"
I smirked at him, though on the inside I was a nervous wreck. "Hee hee. I know."
The two of us took our seats at the table and began to eat. Roji suddenly appeared to be bothered by something, so I raised an eyebrow at him after swallowing my food to let him know I knew something was up. He caught my expression, and finished his own bite before letting out a sigh.
Then, he became very fidgety.
"Do you... ever..." Roji didn't seem capable of looking me in the eye. Then he took a deep breath. "Do you ever think of Enchu?"
I would've spit out my tea if I had been drinking it. "Where is this coming from?"
"Ah, i-it's nothing! I'm sorry for bringing it up, I shouldn't have done that, it was really-"
I stopped him. "Roji."
He gulped, tears visibly welling in his eyes. Why was he asking about Enchu? And why was he so upset? He hadn't really talked to Enchu since the event with Vector, and he already knew I hadn't gone to him. I couldn't understand, but it was hurting him, and I was hurt by seeing him like this.
"I-I... I just..." Roji rubbed at his eyes. "You care a lot about him, and..."
It hit me. He thought I liked Enchu. That I cared for Enchu more than I did for him. But Enchu had never been anything more to me than a brother-figure, and if he believed any differently, then he was horribly mistaken.
Roji glanced at me for a split second before his eyes darted away. I quickly explained myself before he got the wrong idea. "Enchu was like my brother. We grew up together, so I always thought of him as family. Nothing more." I crossed my arms. "Though why you're so worried about it doesn't make any sense to me," I lied.
My assistant finally met my eyes. He sniffled before asking, "You... really mean that?"
"If I didn't mean it, would I have said it?"
Roji then began to really cry. God, he was so noisy. "Why the hell are you crying now?" I questioned.
"I... I don't know..." He took a few shaky breaths before continuing, "I-I'm so selfish..."
That didn't make any sense.
"I wanted you to say that so badly, but, I... if you had said otherwise, I should've still been happy for you, and..." he sobbed. "I don't think I could've been."
"Roji, what're you-"
"Muhyo, I love you."
I woke up and blinked a few times. Wait- that had all been a dream?
I took a deep breath, extremely frustrated. To make sure I wasn't dreaming this time, I pinched myself. A sharp pain shot through my wrist. I really should've done this from the beginning... That's it. These stupid dreams! I'm done letting my emotions get to my head and disturb my sleep. I needed to take care of them right away. Not seeing Roji in the room around me, I got out of bed and approached his door. There was no sound coming from it, so I assumed he was either in the bathroom or the kitchen. Obviously, I wouldn't check the bathroom. So I went to the kitchen.
To my surprise, on my way there, I heard music. But it wasn't just any music- it was singing. Both the artist's and Roji's. The melody filled the room. I had never heard Roji sing before. He hit every note perfectly, even moving to the rhythm of the song. I wonder why he's never shown me this side of him before. I watched him for a little while, completely mesmerized by his every action.
Just as I thought that, he turned to me, likely just realizing I was there. Although the singer continued, he stopped dead in his tracks, then began to blush profusely. "Ah... um, g-good morning!" He stammered. "I was, er, making breakfast, but I didn't expect you to be awake so early, and..."
"Shut up." I sat down on one of the stools at the counter. Roji, red-faced, turned around and continued cooking. "You have a great voice."
I wouldn't repeat myself on that one.
I remained silent, yet the air wasn't awkward. There was no tension. As though this was completely natural. Roji turned off the stove, and took a deep breath. He turned to me just as I did to him, having been facing away from him before, and we said each other's names at the same time. He let me speak first. "Roji, I just want you to know that I really appreciate having you here."
His eyes widened as I averted my gaze. "Muhyo..." he started, but trailed off. I looked back at him, causing him to inhale and exhale deeply. His expression brightened considerably. "I also... wanted to say that. And I wanted to tell you that I really care about you." His cheeks glowed pink again. "More than anyone else." Thank God it wasn't just in the dream. We both started talking at the same time again, but this time, I let him speak. "Muhyo, it's not healthy for me to hide anything from you. I..." He swallowed. "I love you."
Roji winced, looking away. Was he expecting me to hit him or something? Though that wasn't such a bad idea... No, I couldn't do that. Not right now.
He must've gathered up his courage when he faced me again, because he was more resolved than ever. When we were focused on one another, when he was ready for that slap, I told him what I probably should've told him a long time ago.
"I love you too."
The determination escaped from his expression upon that statement, and that was when I hit him.
"That's for all the weird shit that happened in my dreams and disturbed my rest."
Roji yelped, then furrowed his eyebrows. "How was that my fault?!" He exclaimed, to which I laughed.
Everything was going to be alright.