It was far from the most romantic thing he had ever done.
Oh, god, it was so far from the most romantic thing he had ever done. What was he thinking? Why wasn’t he thinking? They should be thinking. There had to be something else he should be thinking about that could better help the situation than this. But yet he wasn’t thinking at all. Or, well, no, he was thinking like crazy, but his body was on overdrive.
Not that it was his fault. At all. After all, how could he be expected to think about things like how to not go to The Bad Place — oh god, they were going to go to The Bad Place, weren’t they? — when Eleanor was on her knees before him and her fingers were gently massaging his balls and his dick was in her mouth and — oh god — he was going to collapse, going to be a puddle of mush right here, wasn’t he?
She was doing something with her mouth. He didn’t know what. It was all he could do to remain upright, half collapsed against a desk in some random room off the judge’s quarters — and oh, god, the judge. She was going to be back and she was going to find them like this, Chidi naked from the waist down and Eleanor completely naked, giving him the most amazing blow job of his life, in a room off her quarters and she was going to send them to The Bad Place naked and aroused and then maybe his whole eternity would be spent never being able to get off and oh, god, what was he doing? —but Eleanor was still doing that thing with her mouth and she almost had all of him inside her and he could feel the tip of his dick against the back of her throat and then she was tightening around him, sucking hard, and oh, god, he wasn’t going to make it very long.
He could feel the heat in his abdomen, growing tighter and tighter, and his body was like a string of nerves and the world seemed to be narrowing in on this one stray hair on Eleanor’s head and, oh god, what was he doing, what were they doing, they shouldn’t be doing this ….
“No! No! No!” he finally managed to gasp, and it was the hardest thing he had ever said because he was literally about to explode and all his brain cells were on overdrive, but then there was a popping sound, and his dick was no longer surrounded by the most amazing warmth and he almost cried from disappointment, but …
“What the fork, man?” Eleanor said, but her words sounded much harsher than she looked as she smirked at him and wiped cum — oh, god, his cum — off her face and he almost came right then but no …
“Inside you,” he managed. “If we only have now …” And it was like torture to get the words out, and, oh god, if someone came in before he could properly make love to her, but no, Eleanor was nodding, and then she was lying down across that same empty desk he had been leaning against — and oh god was this the judge’s study? And wow was this a bad idea. They were so going to The Bad Place — but Eleanor was lying there, naked and gorgeous and peering at him and his heart felt like it was going to burst.
The first time, back in their house, after they had watched the video of the two of them in their past reincarnation — “Don’t you want to remember what it was like?” Eleanor had suggested. “Come on, what would it hurt?” — it had all just been fun and awkward games, and he had worried about everything, and they’d bumped their heads, and he had failed to get her off the first time he tried, and oh god, he was awful and she had looked at him and told him it didn’t matter but he had known she was lying and she must think he was a complete disappointment, and he didn’t blame her one bit, but back then he had told himself it didn’t really matter except as it being one of the more humiliating moments of his life, which was saying a lot, but this time, this time … Well, this time it mattered. This time it was going to matter a lot because — forking shirtballs — he loved this woman, and why couldn’t he have just figured this out before? Maybe if he had spent less time fighting it and oh, god, what was he doing, the most beautiful woman in the world was waiting for him and oh, god, he could see between her legs and it was glistening and beautiful and why was he still standing here like the world’s biggest moron?
He managed to move, to force himself upright, and then he was there, standing between her legs and oh, god, she was doing that thing he loved and taking control, wrapping her legs around him as her hand touched his oversensitive dick and she was guiding him inside her and …
He moaned. Moaned so loudly that probably everyone out there heard him but he couldn’t help it. It felt so good. So forking good.
Eleanor wrapped her arms around him, and finally he managed to move to grasp her hand in his and to bend his head to kiss her, and then they were moving together and stars were forming behind his eyes, but oh god, manners, he needed to have manners, so somehow he summoned his free arm to move and the fingers of his hand found her clit, and then she was moaning and he was still moaning and they were rocking together, faster and faster and faster, and he was plunging into her over and over and his fingers were rubbing her clit and she was tightening around him and he couldn’t breath and all the thoughts in his head seemed to drain away and then she was crying out and he could feel her shaking beneath him and that was his cue and it was his turn to finally, finally come and he did. He finally did.
They lay together, his head on her chest, her arms locked tight around him, for a few minutes after they finished.
“You don’t think they’ll let us do that in The Bad Place, do you?” Chidi asked. “You know, when they’re torturing us for eternity?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Eleanor said, and she laughed. Actually laughed. Even though in a few minutes they were going to have to put their clothes back on and go back outside and wait for the judge to get back and seal their fate. But she laughed, and his heart soared, and he never wanted to forget this feeling.
“Just try and keep me away from you after that,” Eleanor said, and Chidi sighed, feeling more reckless than he could ever remember.
“Maybe we have time for one more round,” he said, and even as he was thinking that it was much too late, Eleanor was grabbing his face and kissing his lips and he was lost in her once again.
And somehow, in the back of his mind, he decided that even if this sealed their fate, and they were off to The Bad Place shortly after, well, at least it was worth it.