A blonde girl’s painted nails claw into Liam’s hair, tearing painfully hard and making her yelp. She’s lashing out with both fists but she’s not a goddamn fighter and she doesn’t know how she always ends up in situations like that. Oh wait, she knows, because it’s always been like this. In nursery they were fighting over the best barbie doll, in elementary school it was about everyone’s favourite swingset and after that it was all about boys. Liam is always in the losing team and Louis is always in the winning team. Liam hates her guts so much it’s sickening.
Louis is everything Liam is not, with her shaggy hair and her eyeliner and her skinny jeans. Liam will not even mention how her bra always peeks out from under her tank top. It’s inappropriate and Liam is having enough of this shit so she punches the girls who yanks at her right in the face. She squeaks at the way her head whips back and her nose starts to bleed but Liam’s not having enough time to celebrate the bravest moment of her life because another girl jumps on her back, tearing at her blouse and her skirt. School uniforms suck and Liam’s life sucks and everything sucks.
She doubles over with the girl on her back, rolling around until an elbow finds its way into her face. Liam’s lip is throbbing and she’s pretty sure there’s a clump of hair missing because it’s the only way to explain why her scalp burns so much. Suddenly Liam is pulled up to her feet and she’s face to face with Louis fucking Tomlinson.
“Oh no, you’re mine,” she grins and Liam tries to hit her, face screwed up in anger, but Louis catches both of her wrists, raising her eyebrows in a mocking way.
“I hate you,” Liam hisses and rocks back and forth to break free.
Eventually she gets her hand on Louis’ top and manages to rip it at the front, but it only exposes more of her bra and Liam feels her mouth going dry, unable to look away.
“Fuck you, that was my favourite top,” Louis growls and a second later Liam finds herself in the gravel again, each tiny pebble digging into her cheek.
“What is going on here?” Liam hears the teacher’s voice and gasps in relief.
“Shit,” Louis curses and her breath is hot in Liam’s ear when she lets out a high pitched laugh. “Next time then.”
Her weight is gone and when Liam finally rolls over Louis is already drumming up the rest of her girls like the fucking gang leader that she is and raises a middle-finger at the approaching teacher with a bright grin on her face and blood under her nose.
God, Liam hates her so much.
“Oouuuuch,” Liam whimpers when Harry presses the tissue a little too hard against her bottom lip.
“Stop whining or do it yourself,” Harry says with a roll of her eyes and dabs at the blood that is dripping down Liam’s chin before she moves away with a nod. “Okay, I think you’re good to go like this.”
“Cheers,” Liam mutters. Harry doesn’t look much better herself. Her hair is a mess and she’s sporting a black eye that will probably start to swell if she’s not going to put some ice on it. “God, I hate boarding school.”
“Oh come on, it’s not that bad. Well, except for Louis and her gang. What are we even fighting about with them? I don’t even remember.”
“I don’t know either,” Liam lies and then scowls when Harry fixes her lip gloss in the mirror, the only kind of make-up the teachers let her get away with because they’re attending the most catholic boarding school England has to offer. “What are you doing?”
“What do you mean?”
When Harry turns around Liam is already in front of her and buttoning up her blouse which is so far open that the cross around her neck is stuck between her tits.
“You’re such a slag,” Liam mutters fondly and rubs over the bloodstain on her collar.
Harry steps back dramatically and folds her hands under her chin, fluttering her eyelashes at Liam with the most innocent smile she can muster. “God forgives everything.”
Liam snorts out a laugh. Sometimes she thinks Harry has her own religion she lives by and that she’s closer to god than any of their teachers will ever be. Harry never cared what anyone thought about her, or how everyone knew about the boys that climbed through her window during the night. Though lately it always was the same blonde boy who found his way into her bed. And Harry looks so much happier, blushing every time she looks down at her phone. She sneaks out during mass more often than ever and Liam can’t even bring herself to be mad at her.
“You’re an idiot,” Liam says and ruffles her dark curls before she moves to the door.
“Where are you going, Li?”
“I need some air.”
There’s a little forest behind the school with thick trees hugging closely alongside the land. It’s still summer, so the lush green leaves can hide everyone from prying eyes. Not that Liam is particularly interested in staying unseen while she wades through undergrowth. Her heart pounds nervously as she makes her way to a familiar line of trees, almost tiptoeing like a thief. There is a whisper that should have Liam frightened but it does the exact opposite and then a hand sneaks around Liam’s arm to spin her around and press her against the rough bark of the tree.
“I knew you’d come,” the other girl says and Liam blushes.
“What do you want?”
“Tsk. You know exactly what I want, you wouldn’t have come here if you didn’t.”
Then Liam is kissed by red, hot lips and she melts against the tree, fingers threading into familiar light brown hair that she loves to tug at. It makes the other girl bite at her bottom lip and Liam whimpers high in her throat at the stab of pain. God, she hates Louis.
“Isn’t that what you want as well?” Louis asks and rolls her body into Liam’s, breath catching in both of their throats before they kiss again. Louis pries Liam’s mouth open with both hands on her cheeks, humming in such a self-satisfying way that Liam wants to pull away. But she can’t, she physically can’t.
It’s so hard to focus on anything else but Louis’s fingers dragging over her skin and down her blouse, over the hem of her skirt that feels too long right now. Liam remembers how shy she was the first time Louis kissed her, touched her, and she also remembers the last time Louis made her feel like this. It was months ago, almost a year and Liam can’t believe she has gone so long without this, without Louis.
“Please,” she whispers, eyes blown wide with arousal when Louis kisses her way down her neck and then drops to her knees, the fabric of her jeans stretching over her thighs and Liam just wants to feel them, wants her nails to scratch over them.
Louis ignores her pleading and takes her time instead, gently cupping Liam’s calf to kiss her knee right where the sock ends. It’s a bit tender from when she was pushed into the gravel a million times and Louis hums in her throat, dragging her lips up, hands following her mouth.
She stops her lips at the hem of Liam’s skirt but her hand keeps wandering and Liam mewls softly when her fingers dip under her knickers. They lock eyes and Liam feels her face heating up even more when Louis grins at her appreciatively.
“Have you been wet since we fought?” Her voice is rough and Liam loves how it breaks at the end of each sentence. Like they both feel the same way. “I’m the only one who can hurt you, isn’t that right?”
It’s meant to be sexy, to remind Liam of how hot she had felt under Louis’ body but it hits her much deeper, pulls at her heart strings in an uncomfortable way because the only thing she can think of is that Louis will never be hers. It’s the reason she stopped coming here, to protect herself. But it was all for nothing because one moment back in Louis’ arms and she’s lost all over again, addicted to her touch.
“Please,” Liam repeats, a little louder this time, and pushes against Louis who raises back to her feet fast.
“Yeah, I’m gonna take care of you,” she breathes, her own pupils dilated so much that Liam is worried she’s on some kind of drug. But for once she doesn’t smell like weed or alcohol, not even cigarettes. It’s like Louis remembers that Liam doesn’t like any of those things. “Have you let a boy touch you like that while I was gone?”
“No,” Liam moans when Louis’ fingers explore her sensitive skin, gathering up the slick on her thighs before they teasingly run over her slit. “B-boys are not allowed on… school premises.”
Louis chuckles and presses a weit kiss under Liam’s jaw. “Good thing I’m not a boy then, eh?”
She crowds Liam further against the tree with her whole body until she feels trapped, until she is trapped, and then two of Louis’ fingers finally push into her, making her moan.
“Fuck, I missed you. Missed seeing you like this.” Louis’ breath is hot against her jawline, mouthing along it with an elegance that no one would expect of her. That’s exactly what she always loved about Louis. How she just knows what she’s doing, how safe she makes Liam feel.
“Lou,” Liam gasps and grinds down hard onto her fingers, forcing her to plunge deeper and Liam’s head falls back against the tree with how good it feels, she can’t even keep her eyes open.
“Fucking hell,” Louis whimpers like the sight of Liam drives her mad.
Louis crooks her fingers, finding the spot that makes Liam tremble and shiver against the tree. She seems to remember every little detail, every little thing that Liam enjoys and makes her so dripping wet it’s embarrassing. But the wet noises seem to turn Louis on even more and she begins to fuck Liam harder with her fingers, her thumb circling over her clit for more stimulation. It’s almost too much and Liam wants to squirm away but also wants it to go on forever.
Louis grins knowingly and just keeps going, beautifully tormenting Liam and watching her face until it’s not enough and she gets her free hand in between the buttons of Liam’s blouse to pop them open. She yanks at the fabric painfully hard until Liam’s bra is exposed and almost buries her face into her cleavage to suck a bruise into her soft skin.
Liam doesn’t know what to do, where to put her hands, so she buries one in Louis’ hair while the other reaches up to hold on to a thick branch. Because the only other thing keeping her on her two feet right now is Louis’ fingers.
“Feels so good, Lou. Feels so… oh god.”
“Want to come?” Louis mutters against her skin and then her thumb rubs faster against Liam’s clit which makes her almost jump and pull harder at the branch. “Yeah you want to come. I want you to come. Just for me? Just like old times. You always were such a good girl for me. Love how you fall apart on my fingers. Love how that’s all it takes.”
“Holy fuck,” Liam curses and lets go of Louis’ hair to wrap her whole arm around Louis’ neck and drag her close enough for a kiss. But they’re so breathless and Liam is on the brink of coming so it’s really just a lot of heavy breathing with their parted lips loosely against each other’s.
“Can always make you curse like a sailor, I love it. Learned anything new? Let me hear it when you come.”
Liam is not sure what it is, if it’s the twist of Louis’ fingers, if it’s the way Louis looks at her or how eager she seems to see Liam come. But when she does it strikes her like lightning and she cries out a hundred curses, loud enough for an echo to be heard. She hugs Louis closer by loosely pressing her mouth against the back of her hand, biting down hard into the skin. Louis quickly stops her and makes scolding noises in her throat.
“No, no, let me hear.”
“Lou,” She moans and the orgasm doesn’t seem to stop with the way Louis keeps fucking her. “Too much, too much.”
“Yeah, think that’s enough.”
When Louis finally pulls out and steps away Liam is trying to catch her breath, nails dragging down her own face because it feels so good. She’s shaking on her legs and Louis watches in awe how she slides down eventually, hitting the ground hard as she feverishly pulls down her skirt between her legs.
“God, how the fuck are you so beautiful,” Louis says with a hint of annoyance in her voice and crouches down to steal another kiss from Liam.
She feels so lightheaded and Louis tastes so good, feels so good, she’s pushing into Louis until she falls over into a bed of moss. Her eyes are so bright and blue she’s like a faerie, springing from the earth to corrupt Liam. She feels corrupted, feels tainted whenever Louis looks at her and it makes her feel so alive.
“You’re beautiful,” Liam whispers, still wobbly on her knees when she crawls over Louis and strokes down her cheeks to where her tank top is still torn apart. Liam did this. Her fingers run over Louis’ tattoos, her small breasts, and she’s almost aroused again, feels like she could come again just from touching her. She loves how butch Louis looks all the time, how wicked her grin is, how well she knows Liam. “I… wanna eat you out.”
Louis’ eyes gloss over immediately, her legs parting when Liam moves between them so she can finally feel Louis’ thighs through the fabric.
“Have you done that before, babe?”
Liam shakes her head, blushing slightly. “No.”
“It’s okay. ‘m gonna teach you.”
Liam nods eagerly, already opening Louis’ jeans and pulling at the zipper because she wants to spend the next few hours between those delicious legs and nowhere else.
Liam wakes up from her little nap on the forest floor with her head in Louis’ lap. She’s propped up against the tree with her fingers combing through Liam’s hair and a cigarette between her lips. Liam hates how sexy and smug she looks, her hair a mess and her face still red from the orgasm Liam gave her. She’s more than a little proud of that and rolls her face into Louis’ stomach to breathe her in.
“That was nice,” she slurs and hears Louis snort above her.
“Nice? T’was fucking amazing if you ask me.”
“Yeah… can’t believe I survived so long without.”
“Well, it’s not my fault that we stopped.”
With a sigh Liam sits up to sort out her back and pull up the sock that slid down her leg at some point. She’s not having that discussion again, she’s not.
“We’ve been over this before, Louis.”
“No I don’t think we have.” She stubs out her cigarette against the three before she leans over to sling one arm over Liam’s chest to pull her back. “I waited every fucking day for you. For weeks.”
She did? Liam swallows hard and reaches up to grab Louis’ wrist. “Why though? Weren’t you busy with that Malik boy?”
She can practically feel the roll of Louis’ eyes. “Come on, everyone fancied him. You did, too.”
Liam turns in Louis’ arms to take in her face and it strikes her then that she doesn’t know. She actually doesn’t know.
“Are you serious right now?”
“I would’ve hooked you up with him. All you had to do was ask.” She shrugs. “I introduced Niall to Harry, you know? I’m good at that. Lots of people get happy because of me.”
Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes and Liam knows that look too well. It’s when she’s closing up and not letting anyone in. No one is allowed to dip into her sea of emotions, not even with the tip of their toes. It’s what Liam hates the most, that she can’t talk properly to Louis about her feelings because Louis always pretends that she doesn’t have any.
“And what about you?” Liam asks quietly. “Your happiness?”
“Oh I am happy. Are you not? Come on, we’re always having fun, don’t we?” Her fake smile breaks into a fake grin and the wiggle of her eyebrows makes Liam feel sick. “You like screwing around with the enemy.”
Yes, she does. Because that’s all it was ever since Louis ruined her favourite dress with finger paint in nursery; ever since Louis punched that guy for harassing Liam and calling her names; ever since Louis kissed her during one of their brawls while no one noticed. Liam had liked all of that but it stopped being enough a long fucking time ago.
“I don’t want to have fun, you thick bitch,” Liam suddenly snaps and Louis’ surprise gives her the guts to finally stick up for herself. To just blurt out the truth. “I want a girlfriend and I want to be loved.”
She leaves Louis behind just like that and runs back to school with tears already making her eyes sting. God, she hates Louis so much because she can’t hate her at all.
When she gets back she spots Niall hanging half out of Harry’s window with one foot against the brick wall and the other against the tree. Harry is leaning over him and they’re kissing like fools, giggling into each other’s mouths like they are Romeo and Juliet. Liam is happy for her friend but mostly feels sad on her own behalf.
She’s like a ghost in her classes next day, no one and nothing can cheer her up. She’s thinking about going back to their little hiding place after school but she’s still so mad. Not at Louis, not really, she’s mostly mad at herself for thinking this time would be different.
“What happened, Li? You look like someone stole your bible,” Harry teases with her elbow nudging at Liam’s side but she’s not in the mood for jokes.
“Fuck off,” she hisses and keeps making her way through the hallway.
Harry gasps with wide eyes. “Did you just curse? What’s gotten into you?”
Liam shrugs but doesn’t answer. “How’s Niall?” She asks instead and enjoys how flustered Harry gets while she consciously touches her black eye. Liam noticed the matching love bite that starts right at the collar of her blouse.
“Niall is fine. His knee is acting up again so I won’t see him in a while.”
Liam hums. “Must be exhausting to climb up the building every night to see you.”
Harry touches both of her cheeks with an exaggerated giggle. “You noticed?”
“Everyone noticed, Harriette.”
“Oh come on, indulge me a little. He thinks I’m innocent.”
“Literally no one thinks that,” Liam says with a snort and holds open the door for Harry so they leave the building together.
“But it’s what the boys want, right? They want to seduce the catholic schoolgirl and put another notch on their bedpost,” she mutters with a frowny face like that’s not exactly what she loves about her sexual adventures. But maybe it’s not some adventure this time.
Liam stops her with a hand on her elbow, squeezing gently. “You like him, don’t you?”
Harry just shrugs. “Maybe. He just… I mean I put on that act for the other boys, you know? But with him it’s… not an act at all. He actually makes me feel it. It’s weird.”
“But good?” When Harry nods LIam gives her smile. “There’s not many people you’ll meet in your life that make you feel comfortable enough to just be yourself. Keep him around.”
It’s how Louis made her feel once but talking to Harry just made her realise that some girls are just like boys. Liam is nothing but a fun experiment to Louis, so she’s gonna give it up for good this time. Liam has hurt herself enough over this.
“Fuck yeah,” Harry whispers so the girls around them don’t hear her cussing, but then she unbuttons half of her blouse and re-arranges her tits with both hands and her head held high. “I think I’m gonna visit Niall tonight.”
“Good idea,” Liam says and even opens the first button of her own blouse because if she’s not starting to appreciate herself a little more then no one will see her true self. No one will see her the way Louis did.
“Oh shit,” Harry gasps and suddenly hides behind Liam. “What is she doing here? I can’t take another punch, I’m already bruised like a monk!”
When Liam scans the crowd of girls it doesn’t take long to find out who Harry is referring to. Louis is wearing another pair of skinny jeans and an oversized, blue dress shirt that hangs over her left shoulder. The other girls are whispering and sneaking glances at her because they don’t know what the fuck she’s doing here. She doesn’t look like she’s trying to pick another fight, she doesn’t have her army of punk girls rallied behind her. It’s just Louis, biting nervously at her bottom lip while she leans against the wall next to the school gate.
“Wait here,” Liam tells Harry and makes her way through the crowd until Louis is only a few steps away. She looks almost humbled, which is not Louis at all, wriggling her feet while smiling sheepishly.
“Hi,” she says and when Liam just stares back blankly she squirms against the wall and pushes away from it. “You don’t have school anymore for the rest of the day, right?”
“Right,” Liam says. “Why?”
“I want to take you on a date,” Louis just blurts out and raises her chin to make herself seem taller. Liam still doesn’t understand why she’s having such issues with her height. But then Louis’ words actually sink in and Liam blinks.
“Date?” She squeaks and tries to ignore how everyone is staring at them.
“Yeah. What you said yesterday? I thought… shit, I thought that’s what you wanted.”
Louis grows awfully red in the face, mutters an apology and she’s - she’s going to leave and Liam can’t let her.
“Louis, wait.” Louis stops when Liam takes her hands to pull her around. “I’d like that. A date.”
“Yeah?” Louis looks so relieved.
“It’s what I always wanted but you just–”
“I’m sorry. I was an idiot and got it all wrong. I like you.”
“Yeah?” It’s Liam’s turn to look relieved and she grabs Louis’ hand so tightly it must hurt. “No more sneaking around?”
Louis grins and pulls Liam in by her hand, making her trip the last few steps until she’s in Louis’ arms. “No more sneaking around. Let the whole world know that we made peace today.”
Liam laughs and then Louis is kissing her and she’s pretty sure the whole school gasps at the sight but she doesn’t care. She only cares about Louis’ arms crossing in her back and the way it releases a bunch of butterflies in her stomach. She’s lifted up like one of those girls in the movies who are spun around by muscular guys, only Louis isn’t a guy and she’s perfect.
God, Liam loves her so much.