Chapter Text
The morning was still young when Nyx got out of the ship and went straight to the remains of the tent where she knew that she would find Arcann. At dawn, the three of them had shared a quick and simple breakfast and had discussed the details of their visit to Zakuul's current officials. Andronikos had agreed to go his own way and hit a few cantinas so long as they would be staying in the Spire. He was relatively skilled at eavesdropping and was planning to chase the latest rumours in the places where people tend speak more easily. While he might not have been trained as a spy, his days as a pirate had taught him how to make people talk, with a glass or two and sometimes a few more charming skills involved. Arcann would however remain by Nyx's side, but he could not do it as his own self.
The political situation of Zakuul was currently unstable. A government was supposed to be elected within the next months but the process took some time and the people in place were for the moment only temporary. They had been chosen among some of the former advisors who had been in place during Arcann and Vaylin's time, mostly based on their knowledge of the city and its people more than on real political competences as they were meant, first and foremost, to be the main local contacts of the Alliance during the transitional initial period of reconstruction. Their choice had actually been one of the first decision Arcann had participated to regarding Zakuul. Even though his opinion had only been taken as one among many others and treated with the suspicion reserved to a former enemy, he had been requested to provide his analysis of each candidate's adequacy with the considerable task that would be theirs.
Most of these people knew him and Nyx was very well aware of the mixed feelings of the zakuulans for their former emperor. Most of the chosen officials would tolerate his presence thanks to the help he had provided in saving the city from the fleet's blind attack or simply because they had never been personally impacted by his most controversial decisions, but a lot of citizens gave him full accountability for many of their current woes nonetheless. Him, but her as well, as she had refused to hand him over to them for judgment and was as well still held responsible for the death of their beloved emperor Valkorion. Beloved… She could not help chuckling cynically at the idea of it, but understood that in their narrow perspective he had been that benevolent ruler for them, a highly praised benefactor. She did not really care changing that image so far anyway, narrow-minded people were a waste of her time, except when it was possible to manipulate them for a greater purpose, but the Alliance had already access to most of the valuable assets Zakuul possessed.
Until now, she had considered that the help provided by the Alliance for the reconstruction was enough to nip popular discontent in the bud or at least any tangible manifestation of it. But it looked like she might have been wrong and something was going on. Some people were ready to bite the hand that was feeding them even if the cost of it might be high. It still did not add up, though. Except for forces as powerful as the Republic or the Sith Empire, it was currently almost suicidal to attempt anything against the Alliance. A guerrilla would of course damage them and constrain them to fight one more threat and dilute their forces a bit more, but resistance would lose on the long term. Unless they had a more important plan that she did not grasp yet... What did their opponents have that made them confident that they could win against them and their fleet? Could the traitor be well positioned enough to damage them substantially from the inside? The simple idea of it was sending waves of concern and anger through her veins. She had warned all of her allies of the fate she reserved to anyone betraying her… Whoever they were, traitors would be punished by death. And a painful one.
Nyx reached the right side of the open infrastructure. She could see Arcann inside, his back turned to her and visibly lost in his own thoughts. Taking advantage of not having been noticed yet, she stopped and started observing him shamelessly, admiring his stature. He was already clad in half an armour, up to his waist, and was browsing through the chest pieces to find one that would fit on him. The undershirt that he was wearing covered his chest and arms and rose up to the middle of his neck but its fit did not leave so much to her imagination. His right arm and shoulder were those of one who had spent years training and fighting and she could note the attention that had been given to his artificial arm which perfectly mimicked his real one in shape. She could see the muscles of his back move under the thin stretch fabric and fleetingly caught herself wishing that she could have a peek at his chest as well. If she was perfectly honest with herself, she found him rather attractive. Despite the scars and the cyberarm. Or even thanks to them, perhaps, as they were only acknowledging his past as a warrior who had had to prove his valour in battle.
She had always despised nobles, and all the people who always made the comfortable choice of hiding behind others and using them to achieve their goals without ever facing danger themselves. Oh, using people was not an issue per se. Every leader - or anyone aspiring to be one - had to know how to cleverly use the people around them, openly or not. But to her it was not sufficient. She did not see value in those who were not strong enough to face their destiny alone if they had to. That disdain included several of her former peers in the Empire and was the reason why she had always felt more connected to Darth Marr who had never hesitated to get more closely involved in conflicts. For what concerned Arcann, he had been a prince and an emperor but first and foremost a fighter and a commander on the battlefield. That was where she thought that his strength mainly resided, where he was the most at ease, and probably an aspect that made him more appealing to her the more he came to terms with who he now was.
Appealing, yes. At the very least, she had to concede that she liked his presence by her side and the imprint that he had in the Force. Strong. And getting stronger again. It was far from comparable to the outpouring of hatred she had been confronted to during their last encounter as enemies, more serene, controlled, a quiet statement of his presence that had nothing to do with the raging expression of his former self. Confidence. That was it. And it was that confidence that had convinced her in an instant in the War Room to have him on this mission, she had not even hesitated one split second. On the contrary, she had liked seeing him impose his presence. A little more than she should have, perhaps. There were not many people that she considered an equal. He was one of them and that alone made him attractive to her…
Suddenly realising the direction in which her thoughts were wandering and the way her body resonated with them, she forced herself back to reality. Warning signs had lit up everywhere in her mind. Complications. Many of them. Regarding who she now was. And who he was. She had to focus on solving their traitor issue and that was the reason why they were there on Zakuul. A pang of anger at the idea of being betrayed helped sobering her up and she decided to make her presence known. He was almost done with the armour anyway and they had planned to leave as soon as possible. This was not a time for lingering in inappropriate thoughts.
"Have you found everything you need?"
He straightened his back and turned around slowly, the helmet he had just chosen in his hands. "Oh… I had not heard you come…"
"You seemed deeply focused indeed."
He chuckled lightly. "I was rehearsing my role, trying to bring back memories of the way they acted and talked in official situations. I figured that it might be useful." He winced a little and continued. "I would rather remain totally silent, though. It may be risky if I speak."
Nyx nodded in agreement. "They may recognise your voice. We will try to avoid the situation. If you are ready, then we should head to the Spire," she added before turning on her heels. Her recent thoughts were still bugging her enough for her to want to cut the discussion short, she did not feel comfortable in his presence at this very moment and did not want to take any risk of it becoming visible.
"Nyx?"
She froze. It was the first time that he called her by her name except the day before when he had simply repeated it in the ship. By the sound of it, he had visibly been forcing himself not to use her title instead to meet her request but had a hard time changing his habits. It felt strange to her too, like bearing a feeling of unexpected closeness. She turned around and looked back at him quizzically, making sure that her face remained imperturbable.
He grabbed a long cylinder that was placed on a nearby crate and quickly strode towards her. "Here… Take this," he said in a low and almost solemn voice, handing it to her.
She looked down to the object that he was presenting her then gave him a surprised look. "Your lightsaber?"
He nodded, placing it in the hand that she had almost instinctively stretched out. "It could be another giveaway of who I am. Some people know it. It is safer if you keep it." One corner of his lips went up in an amused smile. "A trophy taken from a defeated enemy?"
Nyx chuckled lightly. He was voluntarily turning it into a joke but what he had just done was not a trivial choice for any fighter. Even though she barely used it, she still considered her own lightsaber as an extension of her own arm and her own will. She had crafted it and would only give it to someone else very reluctantly. While she had no clue of the process he went through to create his, she doubted that he considered it any differently. Yet he entrusted her with it instead of trying to find a way to hide it on him…
Slightly troubled, she had a second look at the weapon. It was substantially larger than hers and of a simpler design, made of a deep black material that looked like it almost absorbed light, encased in silvery parts that shone as if they had just been thoroughly polished. These were enhanced by curved abstract patterns that had been so lightly engraved that they remained unnoticed to the unmindful eye. The weight of it was as well substantially different from what she was used to. Heavier. A weapon requiring strength but which, by its conception, would increase the impact of each blow even more. It felt odd to have it in her hand. It was so deeply personal…
"You may want to give it back if we enter a serious fight. I am not really used to wielding spears anymore." His words broke the silence that had fallen upon them but he had spoken them in an incredibly soft tone, as if he had felt her unease and been making his best to nudge her gently out of her thoughts without startling her. Deliberately avoiding looking at him, she took a deep breath in and nodded, clipping the hilt to her belt, right behind her own.
"Fine. Shall we?" she uttered, taking a step back and finally daring to have a look at him. Turning on her heels, she just had time to see him nod and extend his arm to grab a nearby spear before heading back to the ship. She was relieved to go…
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The footsteps of the Commander and her armoured bodyguard resonated on the gangplank as they went out of their ship. Roughly fifty meters ahead, on the other side of the bridge reaching the landing pad, three silhouettes were silently waiting for them. Two of them were clad in the distinctive golden armour of the zakulaan knights, mirroring the one Arcann was wearing, the third one, a civilian, was wearing simple but visibly tailored garments proving that he belonged to the higher society.
"Commander. I hope that you had a good trip. I apologise for the lack of official welcoming party but your visit is rather unexpected," he proclaimed, bowing formally. "I see that you chose one of our natives to accompany you," he added, nodding to her companion. "Lieutenant…"
"I am more interested in answers than in unnecessarily formalities, I assure you," Nyx answered in a firm but affable way. "I have a few sensitive questions that need answers," she added, making sure that they kept on moving towards the building where they usually had meetings. Two hours before, the Blazing Queen had taken off from the Endless Swamp and followed the same corridor to leave plant than to land of it the day before, making therefore sure that the ship remained unnoticed once again. They had joined chosen coordinates that may have corresponded to a plausible hyperjump exit and had made their arrival known to the traffic controllers. The real identities of both Andronikos and Nyx had been provided while Arcann had been announced as Lieutenant Dralin Vale, an actual Knight who had joined the Alliance at the same time as him.
They followed their host, Arslan Uhdea, one of Arcann's former intendants when he was on the throne, to the new administration centre of the Spire. The building that had been home to Valkorion and his family and the symbol of their reign over the Eternal Empire has voluntarily been closed and left unused as the new politicians in place wanted to draw a line between themselves and the former power in place. Instead, they were now using a smaller building that had been once mostly used for entertainment purpose. The Alliance still had a direct access to the throne room, far above the atmosphere, but had agreed, in sign of good faith, to not wander in any other part of the main building without prior notification.
Even though the walkways on this level seemed to have been preserved by the Eternal Fleet's attach and be relatively well maintained, the difference with their state before the fall of Zakuul was unmistakable. None of the former ever busy droids, whether they were for security, cleaning or deliveries, could be seen around and the few citizens passing by had lost their lustre and the wanton thoughtlessness that they displayed in the past. The few glances given to their group were grim and resigned, the looks of people having to adapt to a reality that was not their own. Mentally, Nyx noted that they had now more in common with the population of the major metropolises of the galaxy, but for them who had never known anything else than their carefree life, it had to be a difficult change.
"How is the situation progressing?"
"We still rely mainly on food and other basic necessities delivered by the Alliance and try to establish trade agreements with nearby planets. But of course it is difficult to conduct cordial negotiations with worlds our former rulers plundered for centuries, and we do not have much to offer either."
Waking up from Valkorion's dream had indeed been hard for the zakuulian citizens and their representatives did not have an easy situation at hand. Most of them knew that the Alliance was at the origin of the emptiness of their treasury and even though Arcann had been able to gather new wealth before the end of his reign, they had not last long and had mostly been engulfed in his sister's destruction madness. Zakuul was left with nothing more than deficient infrastructures and missing funds.
The state of the planet had been in the centre of extensive discussions on Odessen, most of them purposely held without the presence of anyone having ties with Zakuul (neither Senya nor Arcann had been invited) in order to leave emotional considerations out of the scope. The former core of the Eternal Empire was not uninteresting. The technologies used to maintain the zakuulan society were advanced, and while they were as well available in other places of the galaxy, their access was not always easy, it was therefore tempting for the Alliance to simply take what they could as their defeated opponent was in no position to object. Dr Oggurobb was rather keen to apply that solution as everything left on place was a waste of resources that may end up in unwanted hands. And he was right, they could all easily imagine the interest that not only the Empire and the Republic but as well the Hutt Cartel or other organisations could take in such an easily available tech. As much as they were concerned, the zakuulans might be glad to sell whatever they had to the highest bidder as long as it helped them feed their population and since Nyx had chosen not to declare herself an Empress - a decision that she sometimes partly regretted - she could not claim the resources of the Eternal Empire as legitimately hers. The best solution that they had found was to claim part of the technology and help the planet survive and rebuild with the remainder, counting on the fact that they would remain in the Alliance and might someday constitute a valuable asset. Only time would tell if they were right, however the fact that communications with the traitor were coming from here was not a good sign.
"You must put efforts in producing goods locally, first and foremost. Are there enough trainees learning from our engineers?"
"Yes, we found many volunteers and entertain high hopes on this side. But learning takes time and it has only been a few months, now."
The distance to the representative's office gave opportunity for a few other common subjects that could be openly discussed. When they arrived at their destination, the Knights remained out of the meeting room but Nyx insisted to have her own companion joining inside, a request resulting in a surprised and rather offended look from her interlocutor as he sat behind his desk after having showed her a seat.
"I believe that logistics details is not the reason why you are paying us an unexpected visit, Commander. What brings you here today?"
"You are right," she answered calmly, choosing her words carefully. "We have heard of dissident voices in your population that may soon endanger the peaceful process of our collaboration. I thought that we would both benefit of making sure such a thing does not happen."
Uhdea raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Dissidents? Well, as you are aware, a substantial portion of the population does see the Alliance as the main cause of their current misery. This should not be a surprise to you."
"It is not. And it cannot be avoided. However, if these unhappy voices get organised and become a proper opposition force, it becomes a concern for you as much as for us," she continued. "Have you heard or seen any sign of gatherings that could be related to a rebellion?"
He shook his head. "No gathering, but it does not mean that they do not exist. We regularly see messages hastily painted on walls inciting people to unite and fight the oppressor. Some of the food distribution sites have to be more protected as well as they are regularly targeted by individuals wanting people to stop being dependant from the Alliance. However we do not have any proof of the existence of an organisation behind these events."
Addressing him a perplex nod, she took the small metal plate that they had discovered in the swamps the day before out of her belt pocket and placed it on the desk in from of him. "Does this sign mean anything to you?"
The human politician took the piece carefully between his fingers and started observing it. Like Arcann, he quickly concluded that it had to be a representation of Zildrog but could not say more. "I will require a few investigations on this," he said, pushing it back towards Nyx. "But the fact that you did not deliver our former Emperor to justice does most probably not elude you. By your actions, you are yourself fuelling anger and resentment."
"I already stated that this part was not negotiable. He surrendered to the Alliance and swore to serve it, it is therefore my right to use him as I see fit. He is powerful, and more useful to me as fighting soldier of the Alliance than rotting in a cell." she answered calmly, but her tone had grown colder, making it clear that the subject was not debatable. The man in front of her shook his head with a disappointed face.
"You may be forcing the odds dangerously too far, Commander. It is easy for people who only see this fact and the state of our current city to conclude that you adhere to the same murderous principles than our former ruler. Many families had members among the Scions, the Knights or the hunted citizens that were forced to exile for having dared expressing their doubts."
Nyx smiled casually, counterbalancing the growing harshness of the official with an equal detachment. "Is it your case, Counsellor? It may have been relevant to mention your personal grudges when the position was offered to you."
Uhdea answered bitterly, leaning over the desk to look her in the eye. "My family was luckily spared by such tragedy, but unlike others, I am rather sensitive to my people's concerns."
"You may then be glad to know that your former emperor is sensitive to that aspect too and is doing more for Zakuul that you may expect. He will not be turned in," she stated peremptorily.
"You are being a fool, Commander. And it may one day turn against you. It is a shame that neither our former Eternal Emperor's children nor you were able to show the same wisdom he had."
"You do not know what you are talking about," she answered sharply, hiding a sudden pang of anger behind a cynical chuckle.
Silent dropped upon them They remained silent for a while, Nyx standing her ground and refusing to be the first to break eye contact, her usual half-smile lingering on her lips. The zakuulan surrendered first and inhaled deeply, leaning against the back of his office chair and taking sudden interest in the Knight behind her.
"And you, Lieutenant. What do you think of the situation? As a former citizen of Zakuul, you must have an opinion about it."
She heard Arcann stiffen and gasp before answering in a voice that he had visibly tried to modulate. The sound of it, that very low and slightly raspy tone, was indeed distinctive… and known by anyone on the planet. And even if his former mask changed it substantially compared to how he sounded now, there still remained something recognisable. "I… trust the Commander's judgment… Sir."
The official frowned and tilted his head on the side, observing him. "Your name does not tell me anything. But your voice… Would you mind removing your helmet for me, Lieutenant?"
"I would rather stop diverting from our initial discussion, Counsellor. I do not believe that my bodyguard's face is relevant to the subject."
The Commander had tried to intervene but the man in front of her did not get distracted and stood up from his chair slowly, continuously looking at the armoured man in front of him. "That will take only a few seconds. May you please remove this helmet, Lieutenant?" he repeated.
Arcann did not comply but his increased nervousness was visible. Nyx raised from her seat slowly, placing herself voluntarily in Uhdea's line of sight to catch his attention and starting to speak as soon as she had it.
"Listen to me carefully. You just saw my companion's face and concluded that you were wrong. You do not know him and realise how absurd your request was. Now, you will gladly agree to my next request. After all, you must start working on your investigation immediately to make sure that you provide results."
She had pronounced every syllable slowly and very distinctly in a neutral but firm tone. Uhdea did not even blink once and looked as if he was drinking every word, mesmerised. As soon as she was done, she sat down again and he seemed to wake up from a brief moment of absence, his eyes drifting back to Arcann.
"Oh… I apologise for my request, Lieutenant. I was mistaken. Now, where were we?" he uttered, sitting down again behind his desk.
"I would not want to take too much of your time and delay your investigation. May I ask you a last favour before we leave? I would like to visit your former emperor's private apartments. When he froze me in carbonite seven years ago, he took from me something that I valued substantially and that I would like to retrieve. Something of no interest for Zakuul, of course. It appears from the information I recently got that it was hidden there and probably still is. But as you may want to have us escorted, which I perfectly understand, I would be grateful if you could call Indo Zal for that purpose."
The request of accessing Arcann's private apartements had emanated from him. He had hesitated long before asking on their way to the Spire and agreed that Nyx would only enquire it if the circumstances allowed it. He was the one who had something to retrieve. He had been rather elusive about it and she had made clear that it was rather unlikely that the possibility arose, but against all odds, it had eventually materialised.
The man seemed suddenly relieved and particularly keen to accept. Reaching towards his holocommunicator, he immediately complied. "Of course Commander. I will call him immediately."
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Zal knocked at the door a few moments later to take them to the apartments that were once the emperor's. He seemed glad to meet the Commander again as they had had no opportunity to meet after the grandiose festival that he had insisted on organising to celebrate the end of the Vaylin's reign over Zakuul and a strongly hoped for new era of peace. The former Magistrate of Revelry did obviously not keep his position after the end of the Eternal Empire, but had volunteered to put his organisational skills to good use and was now coordinating a substantial portion of the reconstruction operations.
He had been a decisive element in the Alliance's fight against Vaylin. Even though the operation that he had helped putting in place had been a failure, he had proven to be a valuable asset, which had been confirmed in his involvement in their takeover of the Eternal Throne to stop the fleet's destruction madness.
Nyx tended to appreciate him and respect his impressive adaptation skills. They had spent a rather considerable time talking during the celebrations following the Alliance's victory and, getting to know him better, she saw interesting similarities between his path of life and hers. Indo Zal had mastered the art of being the right person at the right place. He had perfected an opportunistic way of acting that made his always charming and affable behaviour a perfect display of what people needed him to be, more than of who he really was. A beautiful and well-polished mask that she was not dupe about. Wasn't it after all very similar to the game she played with many? She was conscious that he was as capable as she was of maintaining appearances if his loyalties to the Alliance were to change. The zakuulan was a man who needed to be kept under close watch. She knew it. And he knew that she did. But for now, she currently considered him as her most trustworthy contact on Zakuul.
They spent most of the way to the royal building discussing casually, followed by Arcann's silent armoured shape. Zal, used to focus on the "important" people, had not even really paid attention to the Commander's companion and Nyx wondered how her improvised bodyguard was dealing with all the things he heard without being able to react to them. Even though he had always known better than trying to make her change her mind and turn Arcann in for the sake of revenge, their escort did not mince his words about the damages that their former emperor and his sister had done to Zakuul and their people. His grudge was deeply personal and even though he had achieved one part of his plans of revenge when Vaylin had died, the man who had ordered the slaughter of the Scions, and consequently the death of his beloved sister, was still alive. And actually walking less than two meters behind him, without him knowing.
"I may want to apologise for the state in which you will find the former emperor's apartments, Commander," he stated in the lift that gave a direct access to the entire floor that had once been Arcann's private place. "Our late empress came here after having seen her brother pledge himself to you on the Holonet on her festival day. She sort of… calmed her nerves on his belongings. Most of the valuable objects that remained intact have been now used for trading purpose since the Alliance did not seem interested, but otherwise the place has remained in the same state she left it. Whatever you are looking for, I doubt that you can still find it there."
"We will know it very soon, won't we?"
The doors opened on a wide area that looked like it had been hit by a storm. The place, that had probably been lavishly decorated once, now only resembled a pricey battleground. Lumps of broken furniture were scattered everywhere, mixed with half burnt expensive rugs and curtains, and shards of what had obviously been rare and costly artefacts glimmered in the light cast by the remaining lighting sources. A lot of appliances had visibly been hit by electrical discharges and now only provided a flickering glow.
Nyx stepped inside the room and turned around to address their escort as soon as the lift closed its doors behind them. "Would you consider this place safe with the three of us inside it at this very moment, Indo?" she asked abruptly.
"As long as you trust your bodyguard, I would answer in the affirmative, Commander. If the former inhabitant had not put in place a surveillance system that I do not know about, of course," Zal answered, confirming with these words that he would keep whatever he would witness for himself.
"I valued my privacy," uttered the Knight stepping around the young man to move further into the room and removing his helmet.
An expression of shock and disbelief immediately started to show on Indo's face as soon as he recognised the face of the armoured man who had been walking with them all along. "Your… your Majesty. I did not know…" he managed to stammer out after a while, his gaze fixed on Arcann's face.
"There is no majesty here," the former emperor replied, putting down his helmet on a chest of drawers that seemed miraculously spared from Vaylin's wrath. Ignoring the other man's startled glance, he slowly looked around him, appraising the state of the place he once lived in. "My sister destructive impulses in all their splendour, even if it is in no way comparable to what she did to the city and other planets."
"Or to people," Nyx added in a falsely casual tone. "You may be interested in knowing that Indo's sister, who raised him in the absence of their late parents, was a Scion."
Arcann froze then slowly turned to face her. Behind him, she could hear Zal gasp at the mention of his sister but the man did not move. Her companion frowned, seeming undecided about how to deal with the information and she repressed a satisfied smile. That was exactly what she was interested in discovering: what he would do with the reminder of one of his questionable past decisions in front of someone who had suffered from it. She had no precise expectations but was certain that his behaviour would say a lot about him.
He exhaled deeply and turned around slowly in the other man's direction and this time she did not stop the smile that raised one corner of her mouth. In the second that his movement had taken, Arcann had straightened up and stood now in a confident stance in front of the other zakuulan, looking at him with determination.
"It will never be enough and will not make your sister come back, but you have my true apologies," he said in a firm but soft and deeply sincere tone that almost surprised her.
Zal swallowed, clutching his jaw to repress a sob and blinked a few times, visibly trying to hold back tears. After a moment sustaining the gaze of the one who had ordered his sister's death only because he did not believe in fate managed to speak in a shaky and accusing voice. "You are right. It will never be enough." He breathed in and out deeply and added. "Even though it is already more than expected."
Joining Arcann's side, Nyx decided to step in at that point to defuse the tension that had built around them. "Arcann has been very sensitive to the interest of Zakuul since he joined the Alliance. It will obviously not change the past, but I believe that you can consider it as a good sign that things have changed."
The zakuulan nodded gravely, briefly looking at her before turning his gaze back again towards his former ruler. "I thank you for the apologies… I guess," he said in a formal and edgy tone. "I prefer remaining here while you have a look around," he added, taking a few steps backward towards the lift and breaking eye contact with who he now knew was far from being only a nameless knight.
As she saw her companion turn around and start moving to another part of the floor, the Commander followed him, curious to see what he wanted to retrieve from there. He had mentioned a gift for his mother, but considering the current state of the place, she doubted that he would find what he was looking for. She followed his steps to what had probably been a bedroom from the massive bed that stood there. The imposing piece of furniture still remained intact but everything that could be destroyed had been shred to pieces.
The most striking fact was how empty the room looked. Apart from the bed and the door to something that looked like a refresher with an adjoining dressing room, a chest of drawers, a seat and a side table, there was nothing. No mirror, no artefact of any kind and above all, absolutely nothing that could have been considered personal belongings.
"Not much remaining…"
Arcann shook his head negatively. "To the exception of a few trophies that were displayed on the wall, nothing is missing. I emptied this room years ago, when I started feeling nothing other than hatred. You do not need much for yourself when you cannot feel attached to anything."
"Then why are we here?"
He addressed her a rather sad smile and moved towards the bed. "There was one exception. Something I could not bear looking at but could not cast away." He sat on the bed and put the palm or his right hand against the headboard, pushing gently, activating a mechanism that revealed a cache that had been so finely crafted that it remained otherwise invisible. Inserting his hands in the confined space, he cautiously took out a cylindric object wrapped in a piece of red silky fabric and put it on his knees, manipulating it slowly with apparent respect. The fabric soon revealed a black and silver hilt that Nyx immediately recognised to be similar to the one that now hung from her belt, aside to hers. She took a few steps closer to see it better.
"A spare one?"
He shook his head and raised his eyes, meeting her gaze. "My brother's."
"For Senya."
He nodded, turning his gaze back to the lightsaber and slowly wrapping it back into the shimmering cloth, handling it with infinite care. Nyx turned to look out of the window to give him a semblance of privacy, understanding that he was forcing himself to face memories that were probably his most painful ones. She absorbed herself in the contemplation of the incredible view. The apartments were high above the planet's atmosphere and offered the soothing sight of distant stars and nearby ships glimmering in the darkened sky and she chuckled ironically at the striking contrast between the spacious and brightly lit apartments and the confined quarters he was now allowed to live in. "Living on Odessen must be quite a change for you compared to a place like this."
"It is. But I would know better than to complain about it to someone I kept frozen in carbonite for five long years," he answered, putting the bundle on the damaged bed and joining her by the window.
"Oh I had a lot of space in my own haunted dreams. The major issue was of having to share them with your lovely father. He made a point of keeping me entertained but I did not find him very amiable."
As she did not even turn her look to him while speaking these words, Arcann absorbed himself in the contemplation of the stars as well. "I do not think that I would had ever borne the presence of my father in my own head," he muttered. "I can only imagine how awful it must have been to have him come and go and talk to you as he pleased."
"I heard and saw a lot of things I did not want to…" she answered, turning her head to face him. "But the worst part of it was to know that whatever thought I had, there was another being in my head that was aware of it. One I did not want to share with, but who I could not get rid of. I had experienced that before, but was not planning to repeat the experience unwillingly. I swear that my mind is now remaining my own, and my own alone. Believe me. Whatever happens, I am definitely done sharing."
He sighed, looking out of the window once more. He was not responsible for the fact that Valkorion had used her as a vessel, but he had definitely contributed to making it last. "I am still surprised that you could forgive me after all I did," he uttered, his voice bearing an obvious tint of shame.
"Forgive?" Surprised, Nyx turned to face him this time, raising a quizzical eyebrow. "I thought that you had understood by now that there was nothing I had to forgive. As unpleasant as it has been, I can only fully understand why you did it. In one single move you got rid of your father and the closest threat to your throne. Strategically, it would have been unwise to miss the opportunity. Do you think that I would have spared you in that situation?"
He chuckled and shook his head negatively. "Probably not... But my old self would have made you pay for it."
"And the new one?" she asked with an amused smile, crossing her arms on her chest. "If you were in my position, what would you have done if I had come to pledge myself to you?"
"I…"
His bewildered expression made her chuckle, which disconcerted him even more. But after a while thinking about it silently, he had to resign himself to confessing that he did not know.
"Well then, that may be something you want to know," she answered. "Who are you? What defines you? I know what defines me, and I may be closer than you think to who Emperor Arcann was. Or even not that far from who your father was."
He snorted and shook his head negatively. "No. There may be similarities sometimes in the way you think. But you have values that he did not have."
"Do I?" she asked, raising a quizzical eyebrow and addressing him an amused half-smile.
"Yes! You…" He frowned, trying to find the best arguments and started pacing inside the room. The fact that she dared comparing herself to Valkorion seemed to distress him as if this was a parallel that he could not accept considering. "You care about people. My father did not care. I did not care. You do."
Nyx shrugged. "I care about my people. Not so much about the others. I do not feel compassion for the weak or for people I do not know. That may be a difference with your father, yes. I have not lived long enough to consider only my own self in the equation. And compared to who you were… There are choices you made that I would not have made myself. But not because they were cruel, only because I did not find them clever enough. I never hid it from you. And I am not ashamed of myself. The question is, are you?"
Arcann stopped pacing and looked in the direction of the door, remembering about the other man who had escorted them and was still waiting for them in the other room. He gave her a look that was all together amused and incredulous. "Zal was a test, wasn't he? You put me to the test…"
She answered with a rather witty grin. "I did. I was curious how you would react. I have been curious from the beginning."
He snickered ironically. "Did I pass?"
She chuckled again and started making her way back to the entrance. "This is a question you must answer. Tell me when you know."
_____________________________________________
They had left Zakuul an hour before. Their ship was now heading its way towards Odessen and Arcann had taken the opportunity to isolate himself, pretending a slight headache. Lying on his berth, eyes closed, he felt the need to reflect quietly about these two days spent on Zakuul. Their expedition in the swamps, the fight, the appointment with Uhdea and the conversations that were held in his former apartments… even that moment around the fire that he had made so many efforts to keep out of his head until then.
Their most recent discussion came to his mind first - her persistent questions, her way of shaking his grounds to test their stability. She had been doing it since their first real discussions on Odessen and he was convinced that she was not done with it yet. Every time he took a step ahead, she pushed further and left him with more questions.
He was not used to questioning himself. All his life before the Alliance had been a series of certitudes. He had been raised as a prince and as a warrior, with codes, rules, conventions, techniques he simply had to learn and know. He had been taught to succeed, deliver, meet expectations, not challenge them. Challenging was not something people dared in the shadow of the Eternal Emperor Valkorion, and being one of his children did not change a thing, they were all there to serve, not ask.
His brother had coped with it, he had found his life enjoyable enough to set aside the downside of not having the freedom to choose his own fate. But he, Arcann, the unruly child, and later the more and more frustrated man, had never been able to. He had always wanted that freedom that was out of his reach, and that was the reason why his life has suddenly collapsed into chaos.
Killing his father had brought him the freedom he had longed for, but with it new burdens dragging him down. The pain of being his own brother's murderer, isolation, the need of proving that he could be a greater emperor than Valkorion had been and with every failure, every frustration, the anger taking a better hold on his heart. He had concluded years before that freedom was only a lie, a ghost that he had been meaninglessly pursuing.
Killing the Scions had been the desperate action of a fool struggling to get control on his own life. And he had of course miserably failed. Again. The Scions did not weave fate, they only saw it, but it had been so much easier to make them responsible for his pains.
It had been the same with the Outlander. Designating her as the latest excuse for his own failures had been so convenient. It had fuelled his hate, given him reasons to dig even deeper in the darkness and not face his own demons. Until he had been forced to do so…
Waking up had been hard. Realising how much he had remained a pawn of something greater than him had been harsh. How many times he had sat, staring blankly, wondering what he was supposed to do with all of that. How many times he had hesitated between fighting back or crawling into a space where he could be forgotten when she had forced him to face who he had been. He had never surrendered to his urges to hide, but he could not pretend he never wanted to. And she kept pushing him and never gave answers, never gave guidance, no rule, no code, no convention to be followed, only open questions, questions he was supposed to find answers to. But now he plainly realised that every single slap in the face he had received from her had not been meant to push him down like his father did. They had made him step further and make choices. Choices he was allowed to make freely, for once. She was not telling him how appraise his past but forcing him to do so. Nor was she directing his path towards the future but pushing him to think ahead.
It was overwhelming, confusing, suffocating and yet so thrilling, so intoxicating…
"I wish you were here, Thexan…" he whispered, touching the hilt lying by his side with his fingertips. "You would have deserved this so much too." He breathed profoundly, the memories of that evening by the fire coming back into his mind and sending flickers in his guts. "And I am sure that, unlike me, you would know what to do with her."
What to do… How he felt was not even a question anymore. He knew. But that was not enough… He had to find a way to tell her that being with her was one thing that he was intimately convinced that he wanted. But he was not sure that he was prepared to potentially face rejection. Or not even how to face acceptance and not screw up immediately. This was not a battle he knew how to win, not even one he knew how to get ready for.
It had felt so good to fight by her side. It had been even better to hear her say that she had liked it as well. In these moments he felt like she could consider him, but she was so slippery that he could not be sure. And this was something he had to be sure about. He could not fail. He did not want to fail. Not at that. Not with her. He did not know if he could endure it if she turned her back on him.
Arcann uttered a frustrated sigh, opening his eyes to stare at the ceiling and shaking his head. He remembered that very last fight on his flagship when he had told her that fear had been beaten out of him before he could walk. How wrong he was… He simply had not yet met something that had been meaningful enough to scare him. Now he had…