Actions

Work Header

College for Dummies

Work Text:

Artwork drawn by Me.

You pick up the square book, thick with copious pages etched with hundreds of entries. The patterned cover, faded and stained in some places font and back form years of use, it’s weight familiar in your hands.

 

You must have read through this, what…Fifty? No, more than one-hundred-plus times now? It’s an object of nostalgia, something handed down by your big brother, Bucky as a ‘congrats for starting college, Becca!’ gift.

 

It’s your last day of Uni, and instead of packing like you probably should be, you decide to give the journal one last read, picking though your favourite entries and comparing them to your own experiences.

 

You open the book up to the mockup 'College For Dummies’ front page design drawn by Steve, the header explaining that it’s 'A Journal of Dos, Don'ts, Mistakes and Shenanigans.

 

Property of Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton.

 

Created by Steve 'Social Justice Warrior’ Rogers, Sam 'Literally Everyone’s Friend’ Wilson, Natasha 'Takes Nobody’s BS’ Romanoff, Clint 'Actually A Bird’ Barton, Bucky ’Always Lurking, Barely Writing' Barnes, Bruce 'Don’t Test Me’ Banner, Tony 'I Do What I Want’ Stark, Peter 'Happy To Be Here’ Parker and Darcy 'Firecracker’ Lewis.

 

RULES:

1. This is a Journal NOT a Diary, no personal woes or rants unless it’s hilarious and at someone else’s expense.

2. Nothing above a 12 rating, mentions are okay but we don’t want to scar any siblings or future kids we may or may not have, for life.

3. This isn’t an organiser either, no class notes, time tables, etc. Unless it’s something funny that happened in class, this is a learning-free zone!

4. No hogging the pages (TONY).

5. Once you write in The Journal, it’s your responsibility too.'

 

You turn the page and begin to reread your favourite posts.

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #1.

 

Anyone who knows me knows that I’ve seen struggling to find a permanent place to stay in at college for the last two years, every dorm arrangement has either ended in a fight or with me leaving. Usually both.

 

But, I have a good feeling about this new place I’m staying with a friend of mine, Sam. He advised me to keep a diary of sorts to work out my complications instead of getting into fights but I’ve never seen the appeal of them. It seems kind of weird talking to a piece of a paper so instead I’m creating this…Whatever it is, I have no idea how I’m going to use it yet, but if it makes Sam happy then I’m off of the hook.

 

Animation class starts tomorrow, let’s hope this year’s better than the last.

 

- Steve G. Rogers

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #5

 

Three weeks in and the new housing arrangement is going well, Natasha keeps to herself, Clint is usually out of the house or hiding, it’s hard to tell most days, and Sam’s just Sam.

 

- Steve G. Rogers

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #6.

 

I’m starting a comedy club, who’s in?

 

- Clint Barton

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #7.

 

This is Steve’s diary, get your own and stop interrupting everyone’s lectures to advertise your comedy club.

 

- Sam Wilson

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #8.

 

It’s not a diary. No snooping.

 

- Steve G. Rogers

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #9.

 

Well, everyone’s using it now anyway so why not make it a house-diary that everyone can read? Like a journal?

 

- Clint Barton

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #10.

 

Fine, but I’m making the rules.

 

- Natasha Romanoff

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #15.

 

Clint actually made a comedy club, he’s got other people involved but Steve and Natasha still have a bet on how long it’ll last. Steve says two months, Natasha says one week and a half.

 

I’m with Natasha. She’s Clint’s best friend, they’ve known each other forever and Clint has a reputation around campus.

 

- Sam

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #19.

 

‘THE FAULT IN OUR SOCKS’ a sensational sock puppet show by yours truly airing in the Drama Studio building, stage 3, from 8:00PM - 10:00PM 10th October. $10 per entry. Ticket donations will help my studies, I’m broke. Be there, you won’t regret it.

 

- Bird Man

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #20.

 

Firstly, very original.

Secondly, five bucks says over 100 people will be there.

 

- Steve G. Rogers

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #21.

 

Ten says over 250.

 

- Natasha

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #22.

 

I thought I was the bird man?

 

- Sam

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #23.

 

You’re the 'I know everyone’ man. Seriously we’ve been back just over a month and you know everyone we meet by name. There’s thousands of students here, what the hell.

 

- 'Actually A Bird Man’ Clint

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #24.

 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

- 'Also A Bird Man’ Sam

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #25.

 

Clint keeps practicing his one-man show in his room. It sounds intriguing but at this point I half want to wait until the show and I’m half scared of what I’ll see.

 

- Sam

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #33.

 

Clint’s sock puppet show was really…Something.

 

It certainly was spectacular in a way that it was so bad it was good, even if it was dragged over the two hours, Clint really did have an audience. Over 300 people. Word of Clint’s reputation travels fast.

 

Clint was under a table on Centre stage with two hand holes cut out of it, covered in a black drape. Despite all his practice, the top of Clint’s hair was sticking out of one of the holes and the sock puppets weren’t lifted high enough so you could barely see those too. He had access to a lot of special effects and lighting but forgot about them and pressed a mic to his phone under the table to play the music instead of using the surround sound speakers, and because Clint’s hearing aids weren’t working properly, the music was far too loud.

 

It was funny all the same though. I can’t even remember the plot of it but at one point, somehow, one of the sock puppets gave birth to a baby sock puppet. It was just as weird as it sounds.

 

I lost the bet but it was worth it.

 

Among the hundreds of people, Natasha had convinced half of her Linguistics Major class, her friends at the gym, clubs and various other places to see the show. She introduced one of her Linguistics friends to me, explaining that he’d just moved here from Romania.

 

I didn’t catch his name because the music was too loud but maybe I’ll see him around.

 

- Steve G. Rogers

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #34.

 

Looks like Natasha won another bet, Clint was kicked out of his own comedy club after exactly one week and a half.

 

Told you so.

 

- Sam

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #40.

 

Saw this guy in the Science building sleeping at midday in a corner of a lab with a blanket and I just thought to myself: Same here buddy.

 

- Clint

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #41.

 

What were you doing in the Science building? You don’t do anything remotely close to Science.

 

- Sam

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #42.

 

Curiosity killed the cat.

 

- Natasha

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #43.

 

But satisfaction brought it back ;)

 

- Sam

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #44.

 

My lips are sealed, sorry buddy ;)

 

- Clint

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #45.

 

>:(

 

- Sam

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #55.

 

We went to a house party for Halloween (Sam knew the host, a filthy rich guy, Tony, who studying his Masters Degree in Engineering and has his own house, shared with his girlfriend, Pepper - I trust Sam’s judgement but the guy doesn’t really seem like my kind of company) it was fun, we decided to go as some members of the popular Netflix series ‘The Avengers’ because of the new season coming up.

 

I went as Captain America, Sam as Falcon, Natasha as Black Widow and Clint as Hawkeye. Clint had the bow and everything, but mostly because the character has inspired him to take up archery club which he’s got a natural talent for.

 

I renovated an abandoned trashcan lid into a shield and worked on it during my Animation class between projects, I’m pretty proud of how it turned out. We’re going to Comic Con next year anyway.

 

At the party I found the guy Natasha introduced to me again, he was apparently an Avengers fan too because he went as the Winter Soldier - the Captain’s best friend-turned-enemy-turned-something-more-than-friends, the last series was left on a cliff hanger with that - he made himself a metal arm, the detail was amazing.

 

His name’s Bucky and he made fun of me and called me a lightweight but walked me home anyway.

 

- Steve G. Rogers

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #56.

 

Wow, someone has a crush.

 

Hey, guess who else was there, Tired Science Dude! Apparently he’s Tony’s best friend. They’re kind of genius bros. I heard rumours that he has breathtaking anger management issues - that’s cool though, we all have something, right?

 

- Clint

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #57.

 

You were saying?

 

- Steve G. Rogers

 

_*_*_*_*_*-

 

Entry #58.

 

Lmao don’t get your stars in a sprangle, Cap.

 

- Clint

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #71.

 

Oh God.

 

I never got around to asking what Bucky’s part time job was, we talked about it briefly after he took me home from the party but I passed out before I could ask anything else.

 

Turns out he’s the new nude model in my life drawing sessions for Animation.

 

- Steve G. Rogers

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #72.

 

Ahahahahaha

 

- Sam

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #73.

 

STEVEN G. ROGERS STOP LEAVING DRAWINGS OF YOUR NAKED BOYFRIEND OPEN TO THE PUBLIC.

 

MY EYES.

 

(Good drawings though man, damn)

 

- Clint

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #74.

 

Those drawings were in my room! Also he’s not my boyfriend. We’re very respectful of our models, they’re just someone to draw, it isn’t like that.

 

- Steve G. Rogers

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #75.

 

Clint, stop sneaking into other people’s rooms if they care about their privacy.

 

- Natasha

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #76.

 

Yes ma'am. Don’t hurt me.

 

- Clint

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #79.

 

Since Clint started being friends with Tony to get closer to Bruce - Tired Science Guy has a name now, Tony hangs out in his lab all the time apparently - he’s been coming to our house and inviting all of us to places because, of course, Sam is also Tony’s friend.

 

I don’t mind the guy, but he’s so loud. I’ve got a project due in two weeks, I haven’t slept in two days and I keep seeing running cycles behind my eyelids.

 

I need a job, Photoshop isn’t cheap.

 

- Steve G. Rogers

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #80.

 

Awww what’s the matter, Cap? Am I disturbing your yoga or whatever you do when you aren’t drawing? I thought college students lived for partying.

 

- Tony (you know who I am)

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #81.

 

Is he even allowed to read or write in this journal? He isn’t part of the house.

 

- Steve G. Rogers

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #82.

 

Tell you what, Cap, I’ll buy you photoshop, make up for it. If you let me write in here so I can have access to all this gossip, then I’ll make it worthwhile.

 

- Tony

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #83.

 

I’d rather get a job, but thanks for the offer.

 

- Steve G. Rogers

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #98.

 

Ever since the whole ‘Tony stop writing in The Journal’ fiasco, Tony’s been visiting more and I’m pretty sure Steve is dying because he isn’t sleeping and I ate the last of his cereal this morning and when he found out, he looked like he was going to cry. He’s so small and sad and I’ve never seen Steve cry before, are you okay man?

 

How are Art students even alive.

 

- Sam

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #99.

 

I’m dying but only on the inside.

 

- Steve G. Rogers

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #100.

 

Steve snapped.

 

He put instant mashed potato mix into Tony’s coffee machine when we were at one of Tony’s parties.

 

Boys, it looks like a prank war has started.

 

- Natasha

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #112

 

Hey Steve! Saw you in Starbucks, I’m glad you found a job. I was gonna say hi but you were serving Thor. You know, cape-guy? If you don’t know about his reputation by now, everyone thinks that he’s an alien trying to fit in with us humans but is failing miserably at it.

 

Also, you’re even more of a hipster than we already thought, congratulations.

 

- Clint

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #113.

 

Yeah I remember him. He’s actually a pretty good guy, I mean he’s a bit…overbearing but he seems nice. He’s part of the 'will walk with you to keep you safe’ program I started when I first came to college.

 

I thought you were a bird? Also, I’m more of a nerd than a hipster.

 

- Steve G. Rogers

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #114.

 

Of course you started that.

 

Nah, you’re a Nipster. Nerd-hipster, it’s a hybrid commonly found in our generation. You have those hipster glasses and clothes but you also cosplay Captain America.

 

- Clint

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #115.

 

Clint, never say the word 'Nipster’ again.

 

- Natasha

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #116.

 

Thanks, Nat.

 

- Steve G. Rogers

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

 

 

 

Entry #117.

 

No problem. How are you healing up? I’m not letting you walk around in the middle of a night alone again, you nearly ended up in hospital after that fight with Rumlow, you’re lucky Barnes was around campus to save your ass.

 

- Natasha

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #118.

 

I can take care of myself. And I’ll be fine, always have been.

 

- Steve G. Rogers.

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #121.

 

Has anyone else noticed that whenever we go to KFC for lunch, Bruce always brings his own and gets away with it every time?

 

- Clint

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #122.

 

Bruce has a strict diet and tries to be as healthy and calm as he can so he doesn’t go ‘Hulking Out’ as I call it.

 

- Tony

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #123.

 

Oh. That explains a lot actually, thanks.

 

- Clint

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #124.

 

Any time, Legolas. How’s that crush treating you?

 

- Tony

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #125.

 

Taking that as a compliment, Legolas is the best.

 

- Clint

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #133.

 

Today I saw a dude in a red and black morphsuit dramatically act out a one person music video in the middle of campus. It wasn’t even a one off thing, I saw him doing that 30 minutes prior too.

 

Sam, know who he is?

 

- Tony

 

_*_*_*_*_*_

 

Entry #134.

 

That’s Wade, he’s the college’s Cryptid. No one knows what he studies, how old he is or even where he lives he’s just spotted sometimes around campus always wearing the morphsuit.

 

Hope life’s treating him good.

 

- Sam

 

_*_*_*_*_*_