Nanako’s Desperate Escape
It’s a normal day at the Doujima household.
Except for the fact that different universes are converging...
Nanako slams open the front door and loads a shotgun. “Everyone!!” she shouts. “Get down here, right now!”
There’s a little bit of silence, so Nanako pumps the gun and fires a shot at the front door. “I mean it!” she hollers. “Down here. NOW!!”
Footsteps can be heard from upstairs as everyone reacts. Three men come down the stairs in a jumble: Ryoutarou, Tohru, and Kanji. The last two look at each other funny, as if they can’t imagine why the other is here.
“What’re you doing in my house!?” Tohru hisses, advancing on Kanji.
“W-wha?!” Ryoutarou yelps, jumping out of the way.
“You’re supposed to be in jail!” Kanji shouts, slapping Tohru across the face.
Tohru squawks and falls backwards. Ryoutarou picks him up and the smaller man is absolutely livid. “I’ve been out for months!” he returns, trying to take a swing at the large blond.
“Feh! Like I believe that bullcrap—Don’t defend him, Ryou!!”
“Don’t call him Ryou!” Tohru screams. “He’s already confused enou—“
Another shot pings through the front door and everyone turns their attention to Nanako. “Listen up morons!” she commandingly asserts, chambering two more rounds. “Here’s how this is gonna work...”
Everyone pays astute attention.
“I don’t have enough time to explain, but right now it’s like I found a loophole. We’re not all from the same universe—”
“Like a TV show?” Tohru questions.
“Shh,” Nanako shushes him. “Just listen, Tohru-jisan!”
“Aww! She called me—”
“She said to shaddup!” Kanji intervenes.
Tohru glares but stays quiet. Ryoutarou glances around nervously.
“I need to live my own, stable life. We’re going to figure this out right now, just the four of us,” Nanako informs them. “I can’t take it anymore, I’m always getting the short end of the stick around here!”
The preteen looks at her father, and then the two men who are sometimes part of her family. “I’ve worked out the best solution, so pay attention. We’re all going to live in this timeline—”
“What are you talking about?” Ryoutarou asks, sounding like he’s the most confused.
“—And I’m dividing everything up fairly.”
“That sounds insane!” Ryoutarou counters. “You don’t get to decide! You’re—“
“I’ve got the gun,” Nanako declares and Ryoutarou pales.
“I-I suppose you’ve got me there,” he gulps. “But where did you even...?”
“Not important.” Nanako points to Tohru. “You’re coming with me,” she announces. “You’ve managed to pull yourself together enough that we’ll do okay on our own, and I need an adult.”
“But Ryoutarou needs me!” he protests. “Ever since he lost his memory—“
“He’s fine,” Nanako interjects. “That’s not the same Dad. Plus... I didn’t want to say anything, but he’ll have a much better future here.”
“Huh?” Ryoutarou intones. “What do you all mean?! I haven’t lost jack! Where’re your memories!?”
“Dad, no—Just come here Tohru, and I’ll explain later!” Nanako huffs. “Dad, also hand over your seal. I’ll be needing that.”
“What?!” he yells.
“You get to keep Kanji,” Nanako replies. “I think this is fair.” She motions to the draw by the telephone. “I’ll be taking it on my way out. You two will keep each other alive and sane, and we’ll do the same. Think of it like a bad divorce...”
Nanako shoves Tohru towards the door. The small man is still too shocked to speak and just backs in that direction. Ryoutarou looks both pained and confused as Nanako takes his seal and follows Tohru. Kanji scowls, but he always looks angry.
When they reach the door, however, there is a single knock.
There is another knock. Ryoutarou takes a step towards the door and Kanji grabs his arm. Nanako still has the gun, after all.
“W-who is it?” the youngest asks, trying to sound brave. She levels the gun at the door.
The handle turns, and a man in a cap and trench coat peeks inside the house. “Realistic-looking model you’ve got there,” he nervously says. “Am I early?” No one answers. “Late...?”
“Neither—” Nanako groans. “Quick! Go back to Tokyo!!”
“W-why?” the man questions.
“Hisa?!” Tohru squeaks. “What’re you doing here?!”
“Well,” Munehisa rubs the back of his head anxiously. “I heard that I should come here and take a look at your town, maybe find a guy who looks like me and—“
“We don’t have time for your timeline!!” Nanako snaps. “Out!!” She cocks the gun and Munehisa shuts the door, as if that could protect him.
“But I got an order to come here!” Munehisa protests.
Nanako considers her options, lowering the gun to the ground. She opens the door a crack and looks Munehisa in the eye. “I’ll make you a deal.”
“Yeah?” the man asks.
“Go back to Tokyo and I’ll set you up with my cousin. He’s not a murder, nor is he a neglectful drinker,” she nods seriously. “Best offer you’re getting—Trust me!”
“Uhh,” Munehisa replies, unsure.
Nanako throws the door open. “C’mon we’ll walk you partway. Let’s go Tohru-jisan.” Tohru nods meekly, still checking out his ex.
Outside, Nanako shuts and locks the door while the two men chat for a minute about how things have been. Not great for either, but that’s par for fanfiction.
Nanako is just putting the keys into her pocket when she hears her cousin call out, “Nanako-chan!” She swears and points the gun at him.
“I’ve got at least three more of you hanging around somewhere, don’t make me waste you, Big Bro,” she quickly tells him. “Tell me why you’re here.”
“Just coming to live with you and U-uncle Ryou while I attend colle—“
“Nope!!” Nanako decides, pulling the trigger. Yuu explodes into a million pieces. Tohru whoops while Munehisa faints.
“Can’t believe you did that! I’ve always hated him!!” Tohru excitedly tells Nanako.
“In every timeline,” she sighs. “Now grab that man and let’s go. It’s alright. This version of Big Bro wasn’t interested in him anyways.”
“Who was he interes—Oh god not me!!” Tohru makes gagging noises.
“Not even close,” Nanako responds.
When they come upon a fork in the road that conveniently has a sign for the train station, Nanako tells Tohru to leave Munehisa. She writes a note with another of the Yuus’s phone numbers. Or what she imagines one of their phone numbers to be.
“We’re hailing a cab to Okina,” she finally admits. “Getting the hell out of this cursed town!”
“But I don’t have any money!” Tohru complains.
Nanako sighs. “Black Frost?” she calls and the demon appears. “Get us to Okina! We made it!!”
Black Frost nods and dissipates as a cab pulls up. Well, it’s more of a limousine, but that’s just a small detail.
“Finally safe...” are Nanako’s last words before her and Tohru are transported... Elsewhere.