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Losing It

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After tossing and turning for the hundredth time, Castiel gives up. With a groan, he stretches a hand out of his blanket and turns on the bedside lamp. He is too nervous about what is going to happen tomorrow.


Might as well make sure his bag is ready. He pulls out the yellow legal notepad with his thoughtfully planned checklist, opening the bag to tick off the items, worried he might have forgotten something. He hasn’t, as proven by the ticks on the checklist when he checked the bag just earlier, before he went to bed. And before dinner. Also earlier that afternoon. But it couldn’t hurt to check once more. After all, he’s been told prep is the most essential part of (finally) losing his virginity.


Sniggering to himself at his unintentional pun, he looks at his checklist.


  1. Liquid Courage: five miniature bottles of vodka, stolen during that trip to Paris in summer.


Actually, what if Dean passes out or is unable to….perform, because Cas got him too drunk? Better remove two.


  1. Manscaping: He peeks into his boxers for visual confirmation: Check.


  1. Cologne: Must smell amazing. Check.


  1. Mood: Candles, check. Playlist, check.


The music had been difficult to choose, seeing Dean’s stringent adherence to classic rock, but in the end Cas compromised and selected Bon Jovi. Admittedly, his love ballads, but still.


  1. Lube. Check. Because apparently there can never be too much. If Gabe is to be believed.


  1. Condoms: Check. Not really needed because neither of them has actually had sex before, thanks to California’s stupid age of consent laws, but Cas didn’t want to presume.


Satisfied that the preparation for his sexual debut is perfect, Castiel closes the overnight bag and turns off the light. Even if he can’t sleep, he can still dream….




Dean stares at his boyfriend across their school’s cafeteria table. Cas seems unusually fixated on his phone, staring intently at whatever is on the screen.




“Shhh! Wait.” Cas exclaims, without taking his eyes off the phone.


“Cas! This is the fifth time you’ve shushed me. What’s going on, babe?”


“We’re nearly there, few more minutes.” Cas says.


Dean pouts, something he knows makes Cas melt, but this time it has no effect on his boyfriend, whose his eyes stay glued to the phone.


Suddenly Cas starts counting down, his voice growing more and more excited, “10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2…..annnnnd 1.”


He beams at Dean, “It’s done!”


“Great!”, says Dean, although “Uhh… what’s done?”


“Do you know what this countdown was for?”


Dean shakes his head, trying to think of what he might have missed.


Cas unlocks his iPad and turns it towards Dean. “This is my birth certificate. Look at the time of birth.”


Dean looks. “So?”


“It says 1.37 p.m.” At Dean’s still confused expression, Cas turns his phone homescreen towards him, showing him the date and time then taps his iPad. “September 18th, 1.37 p.m.” He looks expectantly at Dean, waiting for the penny to drop.


“Oh shit, today’s your birthday? Happy Birthday, Babe! How could I forget?”


“Thank you, but that is not the point, Dean.” Cas rolls his eyes in exasperation. “As of four minutes ago, I. am. officially. Eighteen.” He draws out the words as he says them.


Dean is still perplexed, but Cas is looking at him expectantly, so he ventures, “Uh...congratulations?”


“Dean! I am eighteen. Finally. What does that mean to you?”


“Uh… lemme see….” Dean looks around, as if the answer is written somewhere on the cafeteria walls along with the daily specials, “I know! You can vote!”


Cas slaps a hand on his forehead. “Dean. Babe. Precious. Love of my life. Think long. Think…, hard . Since you turned eighteen in January, what have we been waiting for?” He points a finger between the two of them.


Dean’s face brightens in stages as understanding finally dawns.






“Oh fuck, Cas! You’re 18. I’m 18. Does that mean…” Cas nods, his eyes shining, as Dean stutters in excitement, “You mean you wanna….” Nod.


Dean surges out of his seat and leans across the table to plant a kiss on Cas’s lips, but Cas covers his entire face with a hand as he pushes him back into his seat, “Not here!!”


Dean flushes in embarrassment, as he rubs a hand at the back of his neck, “Sorry”, he says sheepishly, “I got a bit excited.”


“Awww, someone’s eager.” Cas says, raising one eyebrow in that way the he knows gets Dean hot and bothered. “Meet me near the Science lab supply closet in five minutes. Don’t be late.”


He picks up his bag and walks out of the cafeteria, throwing one final wink at Dean over his shoulder.




Trying to get it on in a supply closet is neither as easy nor as romantic as the movies make it look.


Dean and Cas discover this the hard way.


To begin with, it’s too bloody dark to see anything and they end up knocking faces in their frantic attempt to kiss. Giggling nervously, Dean turns on the torch on his phone and places it on one of the shelves.


Their lips find each other, open mouth kisses press to any flesh they can reach, and breathy groans sound clarion like in the restricted space of the closet. Dean’s hand finds it way to Cas’ hip, pushing his shirt out of the way, as Cas graps fistfulls of Dean’s t-shirt and rucks it up beneath his arms. Pressing kisses along Dean’s jaw, Cas slides a hand at the side of his waist.


Dean jerks away, laughing, “Cas! That tickles!”


Cas scowls, pulling his hand away. He continues, trying to suck a mark into Dean’s neck. Dean throws his head back to give him room and….. CRASH!!!!


They both jump apart, alarmed.


“What the hell, Dean!”


“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s okay, c’mon.” Dean turns them around and kisses Cas again, distracting him from whatever’s broken.


“Dean. DEAN! It’s burning!” Cas tries to get Dean’s attention by patting frantically at his chest.


“I know, Babe. Me too, I’m burning for you!”


“No, you idiot. It’s literally burning. Something fell on me!” Cas pushes Dean away, as he taps frantically at his head.


Dean tries to use the light from his phone but it’s too dark, “Fuck! I can’t see anything in here! Cas, c’mon we gotta get you to the bathroom, babe.”


They both stumble out of the closet and rush to the boys’ room, where Dean helps Cas rinse his head thoroughly until Cas says its not burning anymore.


The boys both look at each other, Dean incredibly worried, Cas looking like a drenched cat.


“It’s okay Dean. I’m okay now.”


But now Dean is chewing at his lip worriedly, shaking his head. He points a finger at the mirror.


Cas follows his finger and looks in the mirror…. “BLUE!!!! MY HAIR IS FUCKING BLUE!!!!”


He turns a shocked gaze at Dean, who is trying very hard not to laugh.


“Dean Winchester, I swear, if you dare laugh, I can guarantee that you will live your life more celibate than a catholic priest!”


“I… I’m not...I’m not laugh...laughing, C..Cas! I s...sw...swear!” He manages to sputter out, before giving up and full on guffawing out loud.


“Dean!!!” Cas tries to remain angry, but then the ridiculousness of the situation hits him, and he bursts out laughing too.


They laugh hysterically until tears run down their faces and they’re both gasping for breath.


Eventually, they manage to calm down, still smiling at each other like idiots.


“At least it matches your eyes.” Dean says.


Cas punches him on the shoulder.


“Ow!” Dean looks at him apologetically, “I’m sorry, Cas.”


“I think it might be best if we wait for a more… spacious….venue for our first time.” Cas declares.


Dean looks around conspiratorially, then lowers his voice to a whisper, “You wanna come to my house tonight? Sam’s got a study session at Kevin’s and Bobby will be helping Ellen at the Roadhouse till late.”


Cas nods frantically, “Yes. I can tell Mother that I’m going to be studying with you for the English Lit test next week!!”


“You mean, you can stay?”


“Hmmm…...And Dean? It’s our first time ever. Don’t cock it up. Otherwise you’ll be looking at a lifetime commitment to your right hand.” He winks exaggeratedly, “No pressure.”




When his brother, Lucifer, brings Cas to Dean’s house, things don’t go exactly as planned.


In hindsight, spending the afternoon with Ash may not have been the most ideal way to lessen his nerves about tonight. Nor was it a good idea to help test Ash’s latest invention, melt-in-your-mouth condoms, by filling them with shots of tequila. But apparently, Dean thought it was.


To make matters worse, Lucifer, who at the most inconvenient times channels his namesake, decides to come into the house with Cas, instead of just dropping him off.


Dean opens the door breezily, “CAS!!!”, and proceeds to hug the life out of…. Lucifer, who is standing just in front of Cas at the door.


Cas groans as he hides his face in his hands, “Dean!”


“Cas?! Wotcha doing there, when I’m hugging you?” Dean says over Lucifer’s shoulder.


“It could be because you’re hugging Lucifer.” Cas says dryly.


A puzzled frown mars Dean’s forehead before he draws back and squints, looking Lucifer in the eye from five inches away. “Oh! Hey, Lucifer!” He shouts excitedly, causing both Cas and his brother to wince.


Although Lucifer might have winced due to his ear drums shattering and not abject embarrassment.


But apparently Dean’s not done yet.


“Wow! D...did you know, your eyes are very blue? Not..not as blue as C..cas. His eyes are the blue...bluest...est.”


“I’m aware.” Lucifer drolls. Sarcasm comes naturally to the Novaks. Must be something in their DNA.


“Dean, really? How could you…?” Cas is getting pissed. The American version. Though Dean seems to be embodying the British one quite well.


“Cas! Babe! Ya gotta see this!” He fishes something out of his pocket. “Ash left some of these for us!”


“Is that…. Are they…?” Cas’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline.


“Melt-in-your-mouth con...condomoms.” Dean whispers loudly. Unfortunately, he’s still hanging onto Lucifer’s shoulder, who can’t control his giggles anymore.


“Melt-in-your….how would that even work?”


“With tequila!” Dean’s throws his arms wide. “Iss the besst! Ash issa genie’s ass!”


Lucifer takes the given opportunity to slip away from Dean, still cackling madly, “Oooh Cassie! I’m gonna go now. You boys have fun.” He looks at Dean speculatively, “If you can.”


“Wait till I tell Gabe about this!” Cas hears as Lucifer walks to his car, and Cas can see the horror show that his life will become when that happens.


“DEAN?! What the hell!?”


“Cas! C’mon, I wanna show you somethin’” Dean pulls him by the hand into the house.




“You’ll like… You’ll LOVE it.” Dean turns Cas around and pushes him up the stairs.


Outside the closed door of his bedroom, he says, “Close your eyes. Issa surprise!”


He leans over Cas’ shoulder, fumbling to open the door. Cas thinks if he waits for Dean to actually get the door open in his state, they might be here all night, so he peeks open one eye, and discreetly unlatches the door before closing his eyes again.


“Aha!” Dean shouts right in Cas’ ear. Before swinging the door open.


The sight that meets Cas’ eyes makes his heart melt, all his anger draining out of him.


Dean has put little fairy lights around the windows, giving the room a warm glow. The bed looks soft and inviting, and there’s rose petals strewn over the bedspread. Two fat red candles are lit on the bedside tables. There’s even a box of chocolate mints on the pillow.


“Oh, Dean…” Cas turns towards Dean.


“Shhh.” Dean places a finger on his lips. “Iss your first time, Babe. I wanned t’make it sp...speshull.”


Cas can’t resist any longer, He places a hand on the back of Dean’s neck and pulls him into a kiss, ignoring the smell of tequila.


Dean melts into the kiss, letting Cas lead. As they kiss, Dean walks Cas backwards, towards the bed. As his legs meet the back of the bed, Cas flops down onto it, pulling Dean down with him.


Cas stares at Dean, the lights reflecting in his eyes making them twinkle. Dean smiles at him and a warm, gooey feeling settles in Cas’ chest as Dean leans down towards his lips. Cas rises up to meet him, and the movement causes Dean to miss. His head slumps  onto Cas’ shoulder, pushing them both back on the pillow. Cas waits for Dean to raise his head so they can continue. And waits.


When there is no movement from the boy above him, Cas whispers, “Dean?”


Nothing. Nada. The person you are trying to contact is living in a different dimension. We are extremely sorry for the inconvenience.


Cas pushes gently at Dean’s shoulder and rolls him over onto his back. He’s passed out, his features smoothening in deep slumber, little snuffly breaths puffing from his slightly open mouth. In the glow of the fairy lights, Dean looks impossibly innocent. Cas smiles gently, caressing a warm palm across his cheek.


“You idiot!” He sighs, a gentle smile on his lips as he sits up. He removes Dean’s shoes, and his jeans, before doing the same for himself. Then he slips in next to Dean, pulling the blanket over them both.


Not surprisingly, they’re late waking up and therefore in a rush to get to school.




Twenty fours hours since Castiel turned eighteen, and he’s still a virgin.


Cas never thought that would happen, with how eagerly Dean and he have been waiting.


He stares at his boyfriend across the cafeteria table, as Dean look at him sheepishly, “I’m sorry, Cas.”


“What are you apologizing for, babe?” Cas says as he tilts his head, “Thanks to you, I now have hair that matches my eyes.”


Dean groans, “Oh hell. You’re never gonna let me forget that, are you?”


“You can bet your pert little ass, I’m not. This is a story I’m going to recount at every anniversary. To our children and grandchildren. Whether I use it as part of my wedding speech or not depends on how you rectify the error.”


His threat doesn't seem to have the intended effect as Dean grins dopily at him.


“Dean! I am attempting to be angry at you, you know that, right?”


"Mmm-hmm," Dean continues smiling beatifically. “You see, I have the perfect plan.”


“Oh really?”


“It’s a surprise.”


“Nuh-uh. I’m not risking another twenty four hours of virginity for your “surprise”. So this is what’s going to happen. Mother’s out of town till Sunday and my brothers have been suitably bribed to make themselves scarce. So you will come to my house straight after school. We will, as you say, get it on. Capisce?”


“I capisce, Cas! But I need to take Sam to his after-school soccer so you’ll have to give me an hour or so before I can come over.”


“Alright, fine. But absolutely no drinking, got it?”


“Cross my heart, babe!”




Dean reckons just because they’re meeting at Cas’ house instead of his own is no reason to abandon his plans for a surprise. He just has to change it a little.


While Sam is at soccer, Dean uses the forty minute gap to hop into the supermarket. Originally, he had planned to cook Cas’ favourite meal, burgers and fries, with strawberry milkshake, before Cas came to his house.


Now, he intends to take all the ingredients to Cas’ house and cook for him there.  After finishing his shopping Dean decides to grab some flowers for Cas, after all he has some grovelling to do for the fiasco of the day before.


Sure, he could get some at the service station, but he Cs deserves better, so he stops by the mall, which usually has an awesome collection of flowers. On his way back to the parking lot, he spies a MeUndies store, and feeling inspired, goes in to do some shopping, silently thanking Rhonda Hurley for her dare at Benny’s fourth of July Pool Party.


Parking in the Novaks’ driveway, he collects all the bags in one hand, and the flowers in the other. At the door, he rings the bell before hiding the hand with the flowers behind his back.


Dean can’t help the grin that is plastered on his face: Cas is gonna be so pleased!


As he hears footsteps behind the door, he holds out the flowers, bending half at the waist in a full bow, “I believe these were meant for you.”


“Why thank you, Dean!” Dean nearly throws his back straightening up, the smile dying on his face.


What the hell is Naomi Novak doing opening the door?


“Uh...yes, Mrs. Novak,’re… welcome.” He stutters.


While being perfectly pleasant, Cas’ mother has always intimidated Dean. Maybe because he feels she’s going to read his thoughts and know the filthy things he wants to do to her son.


Dean looks over her shoulder to see Cas gesturing frantically with his arms.


“What’re those?” Naomi asks, gesturing at the shopping bags, stepping back to let Dean in.


“Oh...these… Burgers. Groceries! Groceries for burgers. Cas…”


“I wanted to learn how to make burgers.” Cas chimes in.


“Oh that’s wonderful. Castiel has often praised your culinary skills. Since I have a rare evening at home, perhaps you could teach me too?”


“Of..of course, Mother. Dean would love to.” Cas says, all sweet innocence, elbowing Dean out of his daze.


“Uh, yeah. Sure, Mrs. N.” Dean makes his way to their kitchen, placing the bags on the central island.


Naomi and Cas come in after him. Dean starts unpacking the groceries and placing them on the counter as Naomi pulls a bag towards her.


“What’s this ?” she exclaims.


Dean stares at her hands, then at her face, mouth agape.


Naomi is holding a pair of pink lace undies (Dean is never giving in to impulse shopping, like ever again!)


Dean waits in vain for lightning to strike him dead. Since Cas is gonna kill him anyway. Right?


“Th..that.. Uh. My sister’s. Uh...they’re my sister’s.”


“I wasn’t aware that you had a sister, Dean.” Naomi is still looking confused.


“Jo. Jo Harvelle. She..she’s like a sister to Dean. Since they grew up um...together.” Cas pipes up.


“Yeah...that’s right! Jo came shopping with me. Heh, she must have forgotten her bag.” Dean grains foolishly, hoping Naomi doesn’t notice the blush tinging his face, neck and perhaps all the way down to his shrunken balls.


From then on, the evening gets increasingly awkward. Naomi is surprisingly easy to talk to, but Dean and Cas are too stressed out about their aborted plans to completely relax.


They alternate between staring soulfully (Dean), or glaring (Cas) at each other across the table. At one point, Cas runs his foot along Dean’s leg, but Dean is terrified Naomi is going to find out and then shoot him on the spot. So he sits rigid as a board until Cas gets the message and stops.


After dinner, Naomi goes to her office while Dean and Cas clean up in the kitchen.


As Dean is rinsing the dishes, Cas sidles up behind him, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist and it makes him jump, “Cas! What’re you doing?!”


“Thanking you, for the beautiful surprise.” Cas hooks a chin on his shoulder.


“Yeah, babe. I don’t know if I should be thanking you for yours, though.” Dean huffs.


“I didn’t know her trip was cancelled, Dean! But now Mother’s in her office, we have the house to ourselves.” Cas kisses along the back of his neck, moving towards his jaw.


“Cas! She’s right outside! What if she…”


“Shhh. We’ll just have to be quiet then.” He moves Dean’s t-shirt out of the way to suck an open mouth kiss at the junction of his neck


“Cas,” Dean urgently whispers, “C’mon, man!”


He places the last dish in the dishwasher and turns around. Cas moves to kiss him, but Dean places his hands on Cas’ shoulders to hold him back. “Babe. No.” He pleads.


Cas sighs and holds his hand out in surrender, “Ok. Ok. How about we watch a movie?”


Predictably, two horny teenagers in a dark room with one of their parents under the same roof, is anyone’s recipe for disaster. So despite Dean’s reluctance, and Cas’ promise to behave, it doesn’t take very long for them to end up making out on the couch in the living room.


Unfortunately, their preoccupation with each other’s tongues (and other more intimate body parts) means they don’t hear the footsteps coming down the hallway until Naomi switches on the light. Deer in the headlights of oncoming vehicles have looks less shocked than the two boys.


There is no way to explain away their state, and Naomi’s mouth thins into a rigid line.


“Castiel! I believe it is time for Dean to go home, isn’t it?” Her clipped voice and her livid eyes portray her displeasure to perfection.


Both boys scramble to get up from the couch, straightening their clothes. Dean’s face is flaming as he walks past Naomi to collect his jacket, Cas following behind. At the door, Dean turns around, and Cas mouths a silent “I’m sorry!”. Dean nods, and escapes down the stairs to his car.




Cas doesn’t know what went wrong.


It’s been more than two weeks since that ill-fated evening at his house, and Dean has constantly avoided him.


He doesn’t answer any of Cas’ texts or his phone calls. If he sees Cas coming down the school corridors, he finds an excuse to go the other way. At lunch, he disappears, and despite his best efforts, Cas has been unable to find out where.


Sure, it had been awkward when Mother found them, and Cas got a bit of talking to from her as well, after Dean left. But nothing earth shatteringly bad. She said she was disappointed in his choices, not about being gay, but about being secretive about his relationship.


Which is why Dean’s behaviour is confusing him.


Is Dean angry with him because Cs tried to have sex with him even though he said he didn’t want to? Is he mad because Cas couldn’t have sex with him? Has he found somebody else? Surely that can’t be it. They have been together for nearly two years now. Does Dean want to break up with him?


Fuck! Cas is so bewildered by the whole thing that he’s about to go to Gabe for advice. And that would be a bad, bad idea.


He doesn’t know how to get Dean to listen to him. To tell him that Mother is not angry about them . To tell him, that he’s sorry, for whatever it is that he’s done to piss Dean off.


Since Dean is ignoring his text messages and his voicemails, how can Cas make sure he gets the message? Dean is too stubborn to listen to his friends, so talking to Benny or Ash will be of no use.


He has to do something that Dean can’t fail to notice.. Something big. Something obvious. Something he can’t ignore. Something public .


He opens up the camera on his smartphone, and turned it to video mode. He hit record, and began speaking.


“Sometimes it feels like life has a terrible sense of humour. It is a journey. Of making plans, and seeing them go to shit. All I wanted was to lose my virginity. With my boyfriend. Today, three weeks later, virginity is, sadly, still intact. Not only that, I’ve lost my boyfriend. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know what I did wrong, but he won’t speak to me. So, this is my message to him. Dean, babe, please, I’m sorry for whatever I did to make you angry. I don’t know if you just need some space, or if you want to…” he can’t stop his voice breaking, “If we’re over. But babe, I just want to tell you, I’d do anything for you. You don’t even have to…. Dean, you were my friend first. My only friend. And I…” Now his tears roll freely down his face, and he doesn’t attempt to wipe them away, “I can’t lose that. So please, Dean, talk to me. Even if it is as my friend.”


Then he logs into facebook, uploads the video and tags Dean WInchester.




Castiel is miserable. It’s been two days since he uploaded the video to facebook, and yet there has been no response from Dean.


Cas can only conclude that Dean doesn’t even want his friendship anymore. Wants nothing to do with him.


Just as Castiel is resigning himself to spending a miserable Friday evening in bed, there is a loud pounding on his door.


“What is it?!”


“Cassie, open the door!” Gabe shouts through the door.


“Go away, Gabe. I don’t feel like being the butt of your twisted jokes.”


“Cassie, c’mon, let us in.” Lucifer joins in. “Or I’ll huff, and I’ll puff and I’ll blow the house down.”


Resigned, Cas plods to the door and unlocks it, trudging back to bed and slumping on it.


Gabe goes to his closet and starts pulling out clothes while Lucifer pulls Cas up and pushes him to the bathroom.


“What the fuck are you two doing?” Cas grumbles.


Gabe raises an eyebrow as he holds two different shirts up for inspection, “This is an intervention, Cassie. You’re too young to be wallowing for this long.”


“Yep. We are reviving the dummy.” Lucifer says, turning on the shower. He turns around and reaches for Castiel’s belt.


“Hey!” Cas bats his hand away. “What the hell…”


“You better get in there on your own then, Cinderella, or the evil stepsisters will do it for you.” Lucifer sniggers.


“Chop, chop, bucko, we’re taking you to the ball.” Gabe shouts from the bedroom.


Muttering to himself about annoying older brothers, Cas undresses and gets in the shower.


He can’t deny that the hot shower does refresh him, making him feel human enough to deal with the human race. In general. The two specimens of said species in his bedroom, he’s not so sure about.


When he comes out of the shower, Gabe and Lucifer hover until he is dressed in the selected clothes, and squabble impatiently while he puts on his boots. Bracketed between them, Cas resigns himself to his fate.


Until they reach their destination. The Roadhouse. Dean’s favourite hangout.


“Guys! Not here, please. I’ll go anywhere else, but not here!”


“C’mon Cassie. This is your favourite place too. Plus, he may not even be here.”


Groaning, Cas allows Gabe to pull him into the diner and to a booth.


His luck holds out as an unfamiliar waiter comes to take their order. After they finish eating, the server brings out three servings of warm pie, with vanilla ice cream.


Cas is perplexed. “We..we didn’t order these.”


“Shhh! Don’t be a spoilsport, Cassie. You NEVER turn down free dessert!” Gabe hisses.


With a grimace at his brother, Cas turns to the waiter, “I’m sorry, you’ve got the wrong order.”


But the waiter just turns around and leaves. Gabe and Lucifer pull their plates towards themselves, and dig in. Exasperated, Cas is about to berate them, when a voice rings out on the speakers.


“Hey Cas!”


Cas straightens up in his seat. From his position, his back is to the stage where they usually hold the open mic nights, so he can’t see the speaker, but he’d know that voice anywhere. He stares wide eyed at his brothers, who look suspiciously innocent.


“Cas, I just want to say, I’m sorry. I...I know I’ve messed up… so… so badly,” Dean huffs, “that I can’t even ask you to forgive me. But I have to. Because babe, I love you. So much. And I can’t...I can’t live without you. I don’t want to live without you, Cas.”


Cas doesn’t know when he moved, but he’s standing in front of the stage, his eyes shimmering with tears, though nothing can stop the smile splitting his face in half.


Dean looks directly into his eyes, his own filled with unspilled tears, “You know, everytime I close my eyes, I see you. My blue-eyed boyfriend. Heh, my blue-haired boyfriend, now.” Cas’ hand shoots up to touch his hair, the blue from the supply closet disaster faded, but still visible. “Your smile that I would die for, the way it crinkles your eyes at the corners. The way you smell. Not..not in a bad way! Cas. Castiel, I let too many things get in the way. But babe, you’re it for me. You’re amazing. Hell, you’re awesome! And I know now, we’re meant to be together.”


Dean looks at Cas, extending a hand, and Cas takes it and climbs onto the stage. He crushes Dean in his arms, planting kisses anywhere he can reach, his cheeks, his eyes, his lips. “You idiot! You fucking idiot!”


Dean smiles against his lips, drawing back a little to look into Cas’ eyes, “You said to talk to you.” He shrugs sheepishly.


Cas kisses him fiercely, and says, “Mother’s definitely out of town today.”


Dean throws his head back in laughter, slapping a hand on Cas’ shoulder, “Cas, babe, don’t ever change!”




Later that night, Cas puts the contents of his bag to good use.




Nothing can wipe the grins off Dean and Cas’ faces the next day. After all, they have finally , lost IT.