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Merry Minkmas

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"Present for Minka? How lovely! Ooh, dagger with the blood of fascist pigdog still dripping from its dulled tip? Oh, Archie, you shouldn't have! You should have called Minka, Minka like to watch. And help."

"Actually, it is a joint present from the both of us."

"Charles? You help Archie slaughter fascist pigdog? Well, is no surprise it takes both of you to make a man after Minka's taste. Here, Minka have something for you too."

"Oh. You've... made more szalony byk."

"I am sorry is so little of it. Someone else break into warehouse before Minka and steal ingredients. But no matter. Minka find out who did it, then Minka have fun."

She stroked the dagger fondly.

"Really, Minka, that's not necessary, I'm sure me an' Charles can make it last all Christmas- Oh, she's gone. And I didn't even blink!"

"Actually, it is Charles and I, as I keep telling you. I'm not sure why I bother, your brain is probably damaged beyond any hope..."

"Shut up and help me carry the barrel. And make sure Minka never learns it was actual pig blood, or she'll be very disappointed."

Charles and Archie shuddered.

"Never!" they said in unison.