A friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep. Welcome to Night Vale.
Another Normal Day here in Night Vale. John Peters -- you know , the farmer , Recently Reported his invisible corn business has spread to
states outside our own. Apparently even Oregon which has not been proven to actually exist. My Lovely lovely boyfriend Carlos has recently
appeared before the PTA for permission to record his findings of Night Vale into a book for the general public
since the rest of the world apparently have not outlawed books. Steve Carlson agreed that he should, the only good thing he's done in
his life, but The Glow Cloud (All Hail), stated "Humans are nothing but a dying race. All you do is meaningless and no one will remember. Time is meaningless and objective."
We took it as a yes.
And now the news.
The hooded figures have made it clear the don't appreciate whichever rebel took their Nike shoes and through them on the fence of the dog park, just out of reach.
Strexcorp and the Angels have also taken up a new shop in Night Vale Elementary and would like to remind you
children are not allowed in that area.
Old woman Josie Would also like everyone to know the new Opera is free tonight for everyone who's name starts with "c".
Oh! The phone seems to be ringing
Hello Perfect Carlos, he's my boyfriend, whats up?
Hello Cecil , would you like to go to the Opera tonight?
Of course! Anything with you Carlos, I love you
aww i love you too I'll get ready after work, bye!
Now for Horoscopes
Aries: You're a great engineer but a cancer is mad you shaved
Taurus: You've been thinking about someone you love, he loves you too and your perfect hair
Gemini: Your ridge is running, dont let it catch you
Cancer: You're rightfully mad Aries shaved
Leo: The stars say to step forward, you're not moving in line
Virgo: 1 2 2 1 8 are your lucky days
Libra: Buy a bar, Buy a Pair of pants, dont look behind you
Scorpio: You're wonderfu- no no no thats not right they hope you trip
Sagittarius: Rob a bank you may find closure
Aquarius: You miss him, tell him you love him again
Pieces : Smile they're above you
I just got an update from assistant Moreen. My cat Khoshekh has adopted an angel.
Well i hope he's happy.
Now for the weekly reports
Monday smile until Wednesday
Tuesday frown twice
Wednesday buy gold
Thursday is now Saturday
Friday sleep till they pass
Thursday is a lazy day, enjoy
and Sunday the sky will be mint green
And now it is that time again , here is The Weather
My perfect boyfriend Carlos has published his first book and will send the first crate to Czechoslovakia.
The Angel has escaped and joined a dangerous motorcycle gang and changed his name to Bailey.
Listeners I hope you're safe out there and none of you change your name. It's truly a hassle. Now i have n Opera to catch.
Goodnight Night Vale
Todays proverb is
Use your imagination to fill in the banks