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A friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep. Welcome to Night Vale.

Another Normal Day here in Night Vale. John Peters -- you know , the farmer , Recently Reported his invisible corn business has spread to 

states outside our own. Apparently even Oregon which has not been proven to actually exist. My Lovely lovely boyfriend Carlos has recently

appeared before the PTA for permission to record his findings of Night Vale into a book for the general public

since the rest of the world apparently have not outlawed books. Steve Carlson agreed that he should, the only good thing he's done in 

his life, but The Glow Cloud (All Hail), stated "Humans are nothing but a dying race. All you do is meaningless and no one will remember. Time is meaningless and objective."  

We took it as a yes. 

And now the news. 

The hooded figures have made it clear the don't appreciate whichever rebel took their Nike shoes and through them on the fence of the dog park, just out of reach. 

Strexcorp and the Angels have also taken up a new shop in Night Vale Elementary and would like to remind you 

children are not allowed in that area.

Old woman Josie Would also like everyone to know the new Opera is free tonight for everyone who's name starts with "c".

Oh! The phone seems to be ringing

Hello Perfect Carlos, he's my boyfriend, whats up?

Hello Cecil , would you like to go to the Opera tonight?

Of course! Anything with you Carlos, I love you

aww i love you too I'll get ready after work, bye!


Now for Horoscopes

Aries: You're a great engineer but a cancer is mad you shaved

Taurus: You've been thinking about someone you love, he loves you too and your perfect hair

Gemini: Your ridge is running, dont let it catch you

Cancer: You're rightfully mad Aries shaved

Leo: The stars say to step forward, you're not moving in line

Virgo: 1 2 2 1 8 are your lucky days

Libra: Buy a bar, Buy a Pair of pants, dont look behind you

Scorpio: You're wonderfu- no no no thats not right they hope you trip

Sagittarius: Rob a bank you may find closure

Aquarius: You miss him, tell him you love him again

Pieces : Smile they're above you 

I just got an update from assistant Moreen. My cat Khoshekh has adopted an angel. 

Well i hope he's happy. 

Now for the weekly reports 

Monday smile until Wednesday

Tuesday frown twice

Wednesday buy gold

Thursday is now Saturday

Friday sleep till they pass

Thursday is a lazy day, enjoy

and Sunday the sky will be mint green

And now it is that time again , here is The Weather 




Welcome Back.

My perfect boyfriend Carlos has published his first book and will send the first crate to Czechoslovakia. 

The Angel has escaped and joined a dangerous motorcycle gang and changed his name to Bailey.

Listeners I hope you're safe out there and none of you change your name. It's truly a hassle. Now i have n Opera to catch.

Goodnight Night Vale



Todays proverb is

Use your imagination to fill in the banks