The thing is, teaching History in high school is not the most paying job Derek could have found. He's over qualified, but it wasn't before he was done with his doctorate that he decided he actually wanted to settle down in a not too big but not too small city and go back to high school instead of staying in College until retirement. The result of that great combination is that his job is not enough to repay the student loans he's still crawling under. And he's trying to save money so his little sister won't have an excuse to give up on those wonderful years of College life.
He does a little bit of proofreading in his former field of research but that doesn't pay much (especially when he does it for old friends). He tried tutoring but it didn't work out. The only parents hiring him were bored soccer mom who enjoyed having candy eye in their living-room without their husband complaining because he was helping their children in school. And that's how he got the idea, actually.
He doesn't have to think twice about the fact that he is not going to go wait around in the known pick-up places in the park or the outskirt of the city. His students go there for fun, he knows that and he likes how they look up to him and wants to keep it that way, thank you very much. He's not really sure how it happens. He does a bit of useless research on the internet and a few days later, out of nowhere, there's this woman calling him and saying she can help him out.
Derek's never heard of Lydia Martin before and he has no idea how she found him much less how she knew what he was about to get into. It's scary, but the idea of actually jumping in, well, prostitution without knowing shit about how those things work on his own is more worrying. This, is the not story of how Lydia became his pimp. His Fields Medal winner, huge company runner and fashion terrorist pimp. And his friend, when she has time for that.
It's not that hard for him to get into it. When he was in College he used to pick up girls in bars and clubs for the night. He used to choose them but he's getting payed this time so it's okay if he has to close his eyes and think about someone else on his weekly meeting with Miss Clapman.
It doesn't take long before Lydia calls to tell him that even for an hour or a night in paradise with him there are not that many women willing to pay (or not around at least). And he says yes when she asks what are his thought on having sex with guys, on his on terms, though. Lydia seems to think it will be easy to find guys who would get off just watching him jerk off or blowing him.
And it is.
Derek has three regulars. There's Miss Clapman on Thursday nights, he doesn't like her, has to get turned on before she arrives in the motel room to be able to give her what she wants. She always pays more than he asks and he lets her call him baby. He meets Max in his office on Wednesdays on the guy's lunch break. Max is a nice guy, Derek would objectively say he's good looking. He works in a law firm and likes to gets off sucking Derek off, he says it helps dealing with the stress of his job. Sometimes he calls at night after a hard day or stressful meeting. And on Sunday it's the old perv. The guy is probably sixty and must have been some kind of important man to pay someone just to watch them jerk off once a week. He's always talking about how Derek is young, beautiful and how he would have loved meeting him when he had still enough stamina and strength to actually fuck. And Derek is really happy the guy can't.
There are others, mostly on Friday nights. Mostly guys Lydia has warned before not to cross the lines Derek draws. It works. It's not easy but it works.
Derek never was a social butterfly he doesn't mind having less time to himself. His side job is definitely not the best thing ever and he doesn't want to imagine what would happen if anyone (teacher, kid or parent) from school knew. But he can finally buy Cora this expensive book she wants and needs for class without crying. He can visit Laura and bring her to a fancy restaurant where the prices are written only on the menu they give him, not hers (it's awfully sexist but for a night he decides it's okay).
Then Derek meets Stiles and things change.
It changes when Derek lowers his gaze on Stiles on their third meeting while Stiles is giving him a blow job like his life depends on it.
Stiles must be in his early thirties, younger than Derek but not by far. He says weird things when he opens his door to Derek. He awkwardly asks him if he wants coffee when Derek leaves. He lives in a nice suburban house and Derek is pretty sure he shares it with a wife and, probably, kids. Derek is not really into people cheating on their wife/husband with him but he doesn't need a master degree in people-reading to know why Stiles calls. He's one of those guys who can't get it up for their wife but would rather live a life of lie and pay men for sex than having to come out.
Stiles gives the best blow jobs Derek ever has been on the receiving end of. He was slightly hesitant the first time and Derek suspects it was just because of the fact that he was revealing his secret to someone and not because he was scared of having a dick in his mouth. Derek thinks he must have had fun with college buddies or something because he obviously has experience. A lot.
Derek is currently lying on what he thinks is the guest room bed, eyes closed, Stiles between his legs one hand playing with Derek's balls and teasing the head of his cock with his skilled tongue. Derek doesn't do this usually but it's so good that he threads his left hand fingers in Stiles' hair and gently pushes him faster. Then his eyes open wide because holly shit, Stiles is deep-throating him and when Derek looks at him, he looks like it's so easy, like he does this every day (and Derek doesn't think he does). His tongue swirls around Derek's cock, his hands caress the sensitive skin of his inner thighs and damn he looks so good like this, mouth stretched around Derek's dick. Like he can't get enough. And he looks right into Derek's eyes, his gaze has something challenging in it so Derek just gives him more. He fucks his mouth and it only takes a few thrusts into Stiles' throat for Derek to come hard.
Derek lets his head hit the pillow and stares at the ceiling. He never came like that with any of the others, men or women. But he never had a client so good at pleasuring him. He doesn't hide the small smile of satisfaction on his lips and still dizzy from his best orgasm in a while he lets Stiles jerk off above him and come on his stomach. Stiles is not supposed to do that, but Derek decides he can let it go just this once. He almost doesn't have the strength to get up, pull his clothes on. He feels drained.
And things change.
Stiles doesn't schedule his appointments like the others. He always calls the day before hoping Derek will have time for him. He quickly becomes a regular. Sometimes he wants to see Derek twice in the same week and sometimes he wont call for two or three weeks. Derek thinks (not that he thinks about it) it has to do with the wife and/or family life.
He gives Derek amazing blow jobs. It's always better than the previous time as Stiles learns what turns him on, what drives him crazy. And Derek lets him take a little more each time. He lets him get off grinding against him, lets him lick his body. He lets Stiles make him a cup of coffee while he cleans up.
Stiles is by far Derek's favorite. It's not only for the good time he has with him in bed. Stiles is genuinely nice. He seems smart and Derek would like to ask him what he does for a living and why he seems so unhappy when he has a beautiful house in a quiet neighborhood, a cute dog, a wife he says he loves and a daughter he always talks about during the awkward minutes it takes for Derek to drink his coffee.
Derek doesn’t ask questions for the simple reason that he doesn't want to be asked himself. He doesn't ask questions because he doesn't want it to become too personal. He needs this to stay simple so it will be easy to put an end to it when he's teacher pay will be enough.
Then there is the text.
Will you fuck me next time? It says. Stiles, says.
The first thing that comes to Derek's mind is I should have seen this coming. When he realizes his first thought wasn't a plain and simple no way, he knows he is going to agree.
Derek has never fucked a guy. He had fun with his college roommate's best friend a few (read: a lot of) times but it never went that far. He doesn't answer to Stiles text right away. He goes on with his day and tries not to think about it. He has lunch with a friend from high school and tries not to eviscerate the new trouble maker he has to deal with in class. He's upset when he has to give Lisa detention because she used to be a sweet kid in the middle of a bunch of fucked up teens. He doesn't like giving detention to his students and he tells her at the end of the class. “You can be the best of the bests teachers in the universe M. Hale but you won't solve the problems we have at home,” she said with a small, sad smile.
Derek hates the fact that so many kids could be way much more and much better if their family life didn't fuck them up.
It's only when he goes to bed that night that he thinks back on Stiles' text. He lays in bed in the dark and thinks about the last time they were together. He thinks about his mouth, his tongue, his long and sure fingers. He thinks about Stiles sucking him off, and his right hand ends up stroking his cock almost on its own will. He doesn't really take time to make it last or particularly good. He just wants to get off and does when he imagines Stiles on his hands and knees in front of him begging for Derek to fuck him.
He sends a simple ok after that, knowing Stiles will call when he wants them to meet again. He can't wait for it.
Stiles makes him wait for a week. A week during which Lydia manages to find time to grab lunch with Derek. He didn't plan to but he tells her about Stiles. She just gives him a knowing look and tells him to be careful.
Stiles calls on Wednesday night.
“Are you free tomorrow morning?” He asks.
And Derek is not. He has to be at school but he almost says yes thinking he can call in sick. He doesn't because that would be crossing so many lines.
“No, not before 9pm, actually.”
“Shit,” he hears Stiles swear.
“What about Friday afternoon?”
“Can't, gotta work.”
“Tonight then?” No. Derek is not desperate for this. Give him some slack. He has bad sex with unattractive people for money, he has the right to be a little excited about the idea of good sex with a guy he actually likes.
“Why? Wanna meet the wife?” Derek frowns because if it's a joke Stiles just made, it wasn't funny at all.
“We can go somewhere else?” Derek suggests. He never said anything but he doesn't really enjoy meeting Stiles at his house. At least they don't have sex on the bed Stiles sleeps with his wife in, but still.
Stiles sighs. “Okay, you know a place?”
“Text me the address. Meet me there in an hour.”
When Derek gets out of his car on the parking lot of the motel he often goes too he has a new text from Stiles. Room 21.
Derek wasn't expecting Stiles to be there before him. When Stiles said an hour he thought it was because he couldn't just live his house and run here. Looks like he managed to get away easily. Derek founds the room easily, knocks on the door and waits. Stiles opens the door in his boxers. His hair is wet.
“Come in, I'll be back in a sec,” he says before disappearing in the bathroom.
Derek closes the door and takes his leather jacket off, walks over the chair on the left side of the bed. He puts his keys on the night stand and takes the room in. it's a simple motel room, a cheap one but it's clean (that's one of the reasons why Derek comes here, that and the fact that it's just outside of town). Stiles' clothes are on the floor at the foot of the bed. And there's lube on the second night stand. And that's a good thing Stiles thought about it because Derek didn't.
He doesn't hear it when Stiles comes back but the main light is turned off living the room in a dim light and Derek turns his head towards Stiles. He doesn't need a drawing to understand that he's not the only one who has been waiting for this. He can see the outlines of Stiles hard dick in his bowers as Stiles walks to him.
“Why don't you sit?” Stiles says, a cocky grin on his sinful lips.
Derek lets himself fall ungraciously on the chair behind him, led by Stiles hand on his chest. Stiles grabs the hem of Derek's shirt and lifts it up, letting his hands run on his sides, they're warm and soft on Derek skin and he can't wait for Stiles' mouth to be on him. Stiles gets rid of the shirt and fall on his knees between Derek's spread legs. He licks his stomach and Derek shudders. He missed this. He closes his eyes and sags on the armchair. Then there's hot breath on his right nipple, and Stiles teases him with the tip of his tongue before really going for it. He licks, bites a little and Derek moans. When Stiles moves to his other nipple, his hand grabs Derek and starts stroking his cock over his jeans. Derek could just open his pants and guide Stiles mouth on him if he wanted but what he wants right now is to make it last, so he lets Stiles take his time and play as much as he wants.
When Stiles mouth is not on him anymore, Derek has to hold back a whine and opens eyes and falls into Stiles gaze. It's dark and horny when he says “I'm gonna suck you off now.” His tongue and teeth are on Derek's neck then, while his hands are busy getting rid of pants and underwear quickly. Derek opens his legs a bit more as Stiles wraps a hand he just spit on around Derek's hard cock. He slowly moves his hand up and down and Derek wants to cry when he understand that Stiles avoids the head of his dick on purpose. Just to tease him more. But he knows what's coming when one of Stiles arm wraps around his thighs to hold him down.
He licks the sensitive skin on Derek's thigh, his abs, his balls and finally, finally, lets his magic tongue run along his cock and goes down to business. He doesn't give everything he has like he usually does and knowing he's doing that because he wants Derek to fuck him, that this is just the beginning makes Derek sigh of anticipation. He licks, sucks, teases again and again the head and underside of Derek's dick and his free hand is always where his mouth isn't. He moans when Derek can't help but thrust a little in his mouth and Derek has to stop him. He's been thinking about fucking Stiles for a week, when he was alone in the dark of his room and when he was with his other clients and he can't wait anymore. His body is already on fire and he lets a long sigh out, tries to calm down.
Stiles gets to his feet and Derek cocks an eyebrow when he sees the wet spot on his boxers. Stiles shrugs and settles down on the bed, lays on his stomach, arms under his head and waits. Derek takes a short moment to look at him and tries to remember the last time he wanted to fuck someone that much. He can't.
He climbs on the bed and drapes his body over Stiles, one leg parting Stiles'. He's never really touched Stiles until today but all he can think about right now is caress his smooth skin and lick him all over. He lets his hand run on his back and sides, the back of his thighs but doesn't go for Stiles ass right away. He can tease too. He licks a long trail from the top of his boxers to the nape of his neck, grinds down on him. And when he finally takes Stiles boxers off he has a surprise. And what surprise...
“What?” He says dumbly. He wasn't expecting this.
“Yeah,” Stiles says. “Thought, you know. Since you don't usually fuck guys I'd spare you the whole prep thing.”
Derek's mouth falls open, he doesn't know what to say. He just stares at the plug Stiles apparently stuck in his ass so Derek would just have to take it out and dive in and fuck him.
“That's hot,” he lets out.
Stiles answer consists in handing him the bottle of lube. Derek grabs it, tries not to stroke himself too much as he lubes his dick. He licks his lips and reaches for the base of the plug with a hand, the other grabs an ass cheek and Derek thinks he's going to come when he watches Stiles body free the toy. He lets out a shaky breath and bites his bottom lip.
“You okay, there, big guy?” Stiles asks and Derek thinks he's mocking him.
“Just gimme a minute.”
Derek has to thinks about Stiles when he's with his less attractive clients, so he thinks about them to calm down so he will be able to fuck Stiles. Works both ways.
“Can you,” he starts but can't finish his sentence. He slides an arm under Stiles body and lifts him up a little. Stiles doesn't need to be told to get the idea and brings his knees under his body, and stays just like Derek wanted him. On his knees and forearms, ass in the air.
“Perfect,” Derek breathes out. His hands grabs Stiles' ass cheeks, spreads them apart, and rubs his cock between them. Stiles moans under him and he teases his hole with the head of his dick. When Stiles can't wait anymore he pushes against Derek himself and Derek slides easily into him.
“Oh my god,” Stiles cries and for a second Derek wonders if he did something wrong. “It's so much better like this.”
Derek grabs Stiles hips to hold him firmly and is about to pull back but Stiles moves and fucks himself on Derek's cock. He doesn't wait for Derek to get on board with what is going on. It seems like he can't wait and knows what he wants, what he needs. Derek looks at Stiles face, his mouth is slightly open, his eyes closed and soft moans escaping him. Then Derek drops his gaze on his cock and watches Stiles pushing against him in long back and forth movements. He's mesmerized by the sight of his dick disappearing in Stiles and it just feels amazingly good.
Stiles frowns when Derek tries to move inside him so he lets him do as he wants, it's not like Derek's not enjoying himself. Stiles starts by taking Derek slowly and deep, then he changes is pace, goes fast, like he can't get enough, slows down again. He undulates beautifully against Derek. When he starts shaking Derek decides it's time to take the reins. He's never done this before but he knows how it works, he knows Stiles just need a little more stimulation on his sweet spot and he'll come apart. He also knows it's going to be beautiful. This time when he buries his cock deep inside Stiles' ass and holds him still, Stiles is too gone to prevent him from doing what he wants. It takes a few hard thrusts for Derek to come hard inside Stiles and he needs a second to remember his plan. He moves in small circles, slow but precise and grabs Stiles' dick. He strokes him up and down and when he hears him mumbling non-sense he plays with his thumb on the tip of his cock. A long and deep moan escapes Stiles as he comes hard, clenching around Derek and drags a last groan from him.
Derek kind of blacks out after that. He doesn't fall asleep but he misses a few minutes in the real world. When he comes back to reality Stiles is getting out of the bathroom all fresh and clean. He sits on the edge of the bed and puts his shoes on. When Derek sits up, he glances at him and says “Back in realty?”
“Well. I've gotta go. But it was great, really.” He gathers his things, he pulls bills out of his wallet. “I'll call you,” he says before closing the room's door behind him as he leaves.
And Derek goes on with he life. He goes to school, meets his other clients and comes thinking about Stiles each time as it gets harder and hard to be with people he doesn't like. He waits for his call. He's been doing this for six months now and it's been doing well. He makes a few calculations and tells Lydia he wants less clients. Just a few regulars will be enough now.
It takes Stiles two weeks and a half to call back. But it only takes twenty minutes for Derek to cancel is meeting of the night and jump in his car. He drives fast with the music loud so he won't be able to think about what he's doing. What it could mean.
He's first to arrive at the motel, Stiles car isn't there. He calls his sister while he waits, he might have forgotten to call her back two days ago. They talk about nothing, really, and Stiles arrives. Derek watches him park and walk into the reception and get out two minutes later, a key in his hand. Derek ends his call and follows him into the room.
It's fast. Derek watches Stiles prepare himself and two thoughts come to him. First: next time he will be the one fingering Stiles, the second: Stiles probably does that on his own a lot.
Stiles doesn't blow him this time. He just jerks him off a little as he spreads lube all over his cock. Derek is hard fast. Then Stiles lays his upper body only on the bed, and Derek doesn't need to be asked twice when Stiles calls for him. “Come here, I need you inside of me right now.”
They don't last long. Derek fucks Stiles fast and deep, a hand on his nape to hold him down, the other on his side. He fucks him hard and Stiles screams like he never has. Stiles comes first and when Derek follows a short moment after he grabs him by his neck and kisses Stiles filthily. And that's just another first, but this time it's not Stiles who did the move on the other side of the line. It's him. He's screwed.
They spend the night in the motel room.
Derek is woken up by Stiles shaking him up. “I gotta go,” he says with a smile Derek can't read.
“Thanks for everything,” Stiles says as he buckles his belt. “It's been great, really.”
Derek frowns. It doesn't sound like a thanks-for-the-mind-blowing-sex thanks but more like it-was-nice-goodbye thanks.
“What?” he asks, dumbly. He's still laying stark naked on the bed. He's not in a hurry. Unlike Stiles.
“I've gotta stop doing this. I can't really afford you anymore.”
Derek doesn't speak because he doesn't find anything to say. He's loosing the only person he enjoys having sex with. The person he just realized he likes.
“And my wife's starting to ask where the money's going.”
Then he's gone. He doesn't look back and Derek feels betrayed. He thinks he has the rights to have been expecting a proper goodbye or something.
Derek needs a little while to process the fact that he's never going to see Stiles again. He takes a long and burning showers before leaving the room. On the drive to school he can't keep his thoughts away anymore, no matter how loud the music is blasting in his car. He came to like Stiles. Sometimes he imagined this parallel word in which Stiles and him met in different circumstances, in which Stiles wasn't his client but his boyfriend. He knew it would never happen but he didn't expect Stiles do be nothing at all, to take the door out his life like this. Lately, thinking about Stiles was the only thing that helped him getting out of bed on the morning. Him and his kids at school because he loves them. He decides to call Lydia that night and put an end to everything. Because if he doesn't have Stiles to make him feel good anymore, he knows he wont be able to keep having sex with strangers for money anymore. He needs to stop it before it's too late. Before he can't go back anymore, before his own body and mind starts to repulse him.
He arrives late at school. It never happens and he hopes his class room wont already be empty when he gets there. When he crosses the parking lot one of his student catches his eyes. He recognizes Lisa in tears holding a shoe in her hand. “Fuck!” She screams and Derek is not one to let his favorite pupil like that in a parking lot. He manages to get her to sit on a bench and she calms down after a while.
“What's going on?” He asks softly, because she's been off for a while.
“It's my Dad,” she says.
“What's wrong with your dad?”
“He's having an affair and my mom's gonna kick him out. I don't want to loose him.”
“You're not gonna loose your father even if he doesn't live with you anymore. The problem is between your parents and-”
“And I'm just collateral damage?”
Derek's shoulders sags. “Have you talked with him? Maybe your mother made a mistake, it could be a misunderstanding or-”
“He didn't came home last night. I wanted to see him but I wont be able to talk to him at home. They just fight all the time.”
“Wanna know what we're going to do? We're gonna head inside, you go clean up that make up because you look like the saddest panda I've ever seen. And I'm gonna call your dad to see if he can come and pick you up. You can afford to skip a day.”
“Is your dad working?”
“Not on Monday mornings. He just goes to the gym with his buddies.”
They follow his plans. Derek gets Lisa's home phone number and calls. He never met Lisa's parents but until she starting acting weird he thought they were good parents since she's a great kid. The mother picks up the phone. Mrs. Stinlinski only lets him introduce himself before she says “I'll send you her father since is the one responsible for that.”
He's not surprised to find an empty class room when he shows up thirty minutes late. He decides to join Lisa in the main hall where she's sitting on a bench, waiting for her dad. He sits next to her and starts to talk about nothing to change her mind. He manages to make her laugh with stories about his little sister when she was just a kid.
After a while, a familiar voice calls “Lisa!” from the hall entrance and Derek's eyes go wide when he looks up and finds himself looking at Stiles. He's startled for a second then stands up. “I'm gonna go,” he says trying not to be awkward. “She can skip the day, it's clear with the office,” he tell Stiles looking over his shoulder because he really can't look at him. He turns towards Lisa. “If they give you any trouble, you come to me.”
His favorite student is Stiles daughter. And she was crying in the parking lot this morning because her father spend the night with her favorite teacher. Not that she knew anything about it. And how old is Stiles to have a sixteen years old daughter? And what is he going to do? Shit. What is Stiles going to do now that he knows his child's teacher has sex for money?
Now Lydia won't be able to argue when he calls her tonight.
Lisa is sitting at her usual place on Tuesday morning. She smiles at him when she catches his gaze and he looks away, guilt rushing from head to toe. He's not quite responsible for what's happening to her family, he tries to tell himself if it hadn't been him, Stiles would have found someone else, hell he doesn't even know if Stiles doesn't always had someone else than him.
They have a test today and Derek is glad because during classes Lisa is always with her hand up in the air and answering questions. He busies himself for a while, grades other tests, passes between the rows like the threatening teacher he is not. Then he sits at his desk and ends up looking at her. He couldn't have guess, but now that he knows he can see how much Lisa looks like her father. She has the same cute nose and his big brown eyes. Derek loses himself in his own head, thinking about Stiles. He thinks about how he missed him between each of their meeting for the last three months. Wonders how it's going to be now that he wont ever see him again, or if he does it will be as the father of his student, nothing else.
“If you worry for your job you need to talk to him,” Peter tells him over the phone that night.
He usually doesn't want any advice from his uncle but frankly he's the only one in his remaining family that Derek knows won't judge him. So he called him and pour his heart out.
He texts Stiles later, asks can we talk?
I don't say anything. You don't say anything. Here, we talked. Comes the answer.
He doesn't hear from Stiles again. When he sees how Lisa is doing so much better he thinks maybe Stiles wasn't as unhappy than he thought. Maybe he just needed to be well fucked a couple times that's all.
He goes back to his simple life where he has only one job that he loves. He's miserable but every day he goes to bed at night telling himself he's going to be okay, it'll go away with enough time. He wasn't supposed to get attached in the first place.
In retrospect, he should have known it wouldn't be that easy. Getting back to normal. Someone's following him. He changed his number but there is a dark car parked in front of his building everyday, it follows him until he's a t school. When he leaves the car his back. He sees it on the weekends too, when he goes out in town, when he goes grocery shopping. Lydia tells him to go to the police, scarring him even more. He does. The result: a second car is following him. They say they can't do anything as long as nothing happens, he wants to shout, say something is happening. He sleeps a little less every night, thinking about this creep waiting for the two cops to fall asleep in their car to get inside and do something to him.
It's Sunday morning. The black car is not downstairs so Derek decides he can safely go for a run in the woods behind his building. He runs for a while with music in his ears until he's tired of always listening to the same songs. He needs new ones, he will work on that in the afternoon. When he runs in silence he wonders if he's paranoid or if there is someone behind him. He accelerates his pace, changes his plans and takes the direction of the street. The other behind him still follows despite the speed. He stops abruptly and turns around. He's a big guy, he probably won't get killed.
He was prepared to a lot of things, but that? Certainly not.
“Stiles?” he half screams. “It was you all along? You're the one-”
“NO!” Stiles shouts, breath short. “I'm a cop for fuck's sake! You're the stupid one here, wandering alone in the freaking woods when you have some creep stalking you!”
“You're a cop? Seriously? How I’m supposed to believe you?”
Stiles sighs angrily before shoving a badge at Derek's face. A police badge. “Happy?”
And, no. Derek is not happy. But this is the first time in two months he sees Stiles. He's all sweaty, cheeks slightly red, hair ruffled. He's upset but he's also breath-takingly handsome like this.
“I scared you, right?” Stiles asks, wincing. “Sorry.”
Derek doesn't say a single word. He stares at Stiles for a second and walks closer. Stiles takes a step back and Derek follows until Stiles' back is against a tree. And he takes a final step so their chests are touching. They both breath fast, out of breath after their run. Derek shakes his head slowly, can imagine the pained look showing on his face. He wants to yell at Stiles for leaving him miserable like he did. Instead, he just kisses him. He kisses him hard, backing him up against the tree, a hand in his hair. He kisses him desperately for all the times he thought what if? What if I'd called? What if I didn't have let him go like that? What if, what if, what if.
Stiles kisses him back. And when Derek backs off Stiles doesn't let him, wraps his arms around Derek's waist to hold him close .
They kiss in the woods like horny teenagers for while, until Stiles says “we should go somewhere else” and Derek brings him back to his place.
Once they're inside Derek makes them some tea, he needs to gather his thoughts a little, to calm down. As if he can't stay away a minute longer Stiles comes behind him and wraps his arms around him.
“I missed you,” he whispers against the nape of Derek's neck.
Derek did too, like hell and he's happy to have Stiles here with him but this? He can't believe it. He shoves Stiles away and turns around so he's facing him.
“You missed me? Are you kidding me?” He yells.
“Yes! No!” Stiles tries to take a step closer but Derek takes one back.
“Then where the hell where you? Hm? If you missed me then I’m not the only one who thought we had something special. But you pushed me away.”
“I have a family, responsibilities, Derek. And I'm not the one who changed my phone number.”
“Well, you're a cop. You could have easily found me.”
“And I didn't because my daughter needed me. Does that ring a bell?”
This is not working, Derek thinks. He's been glad for half an hour, thinking he had Stiles back but now they're fighting. Stiles seems to think that too because he takes a step back, lets his arms fall on each side of his body.
“Finish making that tea, and we're gonna sit down and talk like real persons. I don't want to fight. That's not why I came here with you.” He says, voice back to a calmer tone.
“If you want me to fuck you the tea can wait.” Derek spits. He needs to protect himself, can't be hurt a second time.
“You're unfair, Derek. I'm gonna go and sit on that couch of yours and when you're ready to talk you come to me.”
While the water is boiling he thinks about what Laura would tell him in such a situation.
“You always expect too much from people. You have to give a little of yourself too. Friendship, love? It's supposed to be a two way street.”
And he thinks about what Stiles just said. He has a family.
“You're ready to listen to me now?” Stiles asks when Derek joins him on the couch. Derek nods.
“I'm sorry for the way I left. You kissed me that night and it freaked me out. I wanted it, but you weren't supposed to.”
“Couldn't help it.” Derek shrugs.
“Me neither,” Stiles smiles. “Anyway. There was this huge fall out with my wife and Lisa. She kicked me out and I needed to sort things out. I stayed at my dad's for a while but I needed my owna place. For Lisa. She's been all I had for so long.” He takes a long breath before continuing. “I tried to call you. But you'd changed you number and I thought it meant you didn't want anything to do with me anymore.”
“I've wanted something to do with you after the third time.” Derek admits out loud. He doesn't have anything to lose anymore.
“I'm getting a divorce. I talked with Lisa, explained her everything.”
“No! Just told her the truth about me. About how I married my high school girlfriend I knocked up when I was sixteen. About me being gay. She's only the second person I told it to. I told her that I love her. Admitted there was someone else. She doesn't know it's you neither how we've met. She hugged me when I said I’d lost you.”
“She's a great kid.” Derek smiles.
“Can I ask you something?” Derek nods. “Why do you do that?”
“Did. I stopped when you left. And I just needed the extra money. I didn't do it for fun.”
The silence that settles in the room after that is not unsettling as they both need to process a lot.
“I missed you too,” Derek says finally.