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Creature Crazy

Chapter Text

July 31, 1996
11:17 pm

The street, lined with picture perfect cookie cutter houses on both sides, was eerily quiet. Not even a breeze broke the heavy silence that weighed down the neighborhood. As the minute hand clicked over it was as if the evening itself released its breath as a pulsing green glow shone in the night. The brilliant emerald green light likened to heavens own glow, marred only by the sickly sheen it took on when it hit rusty bars in the window.

After several minutes the glow slowly started to diminish. Soft waves growing smaller and smaller, its own tide being pulled back into what might once have been a proper bedroom. By the time the first rays of dawn shimmered over morning dew the last of the green had retreated back into the young boy passed out on the pallet on a dirty floor.


Due to the familiarity of the smell and the harsher glare these lights always seemed to cast, Harry knew that he was on his usual bed in the hospital wing of Hogwarts School of WitchCraft and Wizardry. Every bone, every inch of skin, every hair on his body hurt, he felt like he had been stretched and pulled and boiled in magma before being shoved back into a too small body.

"Ouch! My favorite part of Hogwarts. Why else would I spend so much time here? Really, I should just take up Madame Pomfrey on her, offer of having a bed set aside just for me. Kidding or not, it’s not as if it would go to waste."

Harry continued to babble to himself in his head. With his eyes closed against the light and the cool sheets below him, he could almost pretend his body wasn’t dying and his brain wasn’t trying to spear fish his every thought.

"Well, my boy, it can't really be that bad now, can it?" Harry heard Dumbledore ask through the screaming that he was pretty sure was only in his head. Suddenly, a cooling wave washed over him, pouring down from the Headmaster's wand. He could practically see the twinkling eyes of the headmaster through the cavalier tone of his voice.
Harry opened his mouth to say something but decided against it at the last minute. Whether it was self-preservation, respect, or just the fact that he thought his throat would crack apart and bleed if he tried to force any sound past it, he settled for cracking his eyes open enough to look affronted at Dumbledore through his, distractingly thick, lashes.

Nevertheless, Dumbledore continued in just as carefree a voice. "Now then Harry, if it was really all that bad would Poppy really be letting you leave her care to go to Grimmauld Place?"
Harry ignored the dry burn of his eyes and the protestation of his muscles as he shot up, eyes wide, mouth open making a cracking sound when he tried to speak, the smile on his face feeling big enough to break it in half.

Not quite strong enough to hold himself up no matter how excited he was, he fell back again, this time making sure to be in a more upright position. He turned eagre eyes to the Headmaster, silently begging him to say he meant it.

"Yes young Harry, but while I am happy that you are so excited to go, there is just one thing I feel you should know." Dumbledore trailed off a little at the end, as if unsure how to say what came next.

“If I’m with Siri whatever he says can't be that bad. Hell, Siri or no, I’ve faced Voldie and come out better than ever, try me.” Harry thought smugly, looking expectantly up at the headmaster.

A jovial note entered the headmasters' voice, forced though it may be. "There is another occupant that will be staying with you the duration of your stay at Grimmauld Place. You already know him quite well I would say." He quickly dropped all the false cheer from his voice and turned cold eyes on him, his voice suddenly subtly harsh, "I hope you do not let your previous interaction color the way you act around him. You are mature enough to deal with this. Lord Lucius Malfoy will be there. I know this shouldn't cause too many problems." Suddenly, he was all good vibes again, as if that moment of intensity was nothing at all, like he had imagined the whole thing.
Harry was at first stunned into silence, gaping like a fish, crickets sounding in his head.

Harry calmly lifted his heavy arm to pick up the glass of water waiting on the table by his bed. He took a few long cool sips of the soothing water. Every movement slow and calm, as if the Headmaster was not waiting for his reaction. After he had quenched his thirst and soothed his throat he carefully replaced his glass and straightened himself and the bed before turning calm eyes to an impatient Dumbledore.


A bit of the earlier coldness added a sharp edge to the Headmasters voice, apparently, that wasn’t in his head. "Yes my boy, that would be the man. I expect you to treat him with respect! He is important to the order, and as such, he is important to you. If nothing else you will tolerate him.” With the same uncomfortable speed as before any stern demeanor disappeared as if it had never been. “Besides Dear Boy, he must not be as terrible as you might think. He has risked life and limb to betray Voldemort in order to protect young Draco. I do not mean to cause you undue stress, but surely you can handle such a minor sacrifice in the name of the Greater Good.” False compassion radiated from the man.

“Of course, because I haven’t already sacrificed enough in the name of the Greater Good. At least I'll have Siri. I can tolerate Blondie for his sake.” Harry inwardly pouted. Dumbledore left unvoiced his fear that the two Gryffindors would amp up each other hate rather than calm their tempers.


Chapter Text

The next morning Dumbledore side-apparated Harry to the edge of Grimmauld Place. Harry had barely made it up the steps before Dumbledore apparated away.
Harry did not feel quite at ease, but pushed the feeling aside in order to put on a brave face as he walked through the door. There was no need to worry, the feeling completely disappeared the moment Sirius ran up and hugged him. It was so tight and went on so long that Harry started wondering if this would be the way he died instead of at an insane wizards hands.

When he finally put Harry down and took a proper look at him he got a puzzled grin on his face and a predatory glint in his eyes.
"What? Quit looking at me that way, you're giving me the creeps."
Sirius stared some more.
"Harry," he paused, "did you have cat ears when you left Hogwarts?"
Harry's thoughts went rapid fire 'Now, okay then, where did that come from? What kind of person has cat ears?’ It took a minute to find his voice again.
"Are you on drugs?"
"Not that I know of. I am pretty sure I would know if I was. Why, I can’t be the only one who sees them?" He began in a teasing voice, by the end it had deteriorated into a puzzled frown.
"Well last time I checked I did not have cat ears. I did not have any cat appendages actually."
"Then why do you have Kitty-Cat ears on the top of your head? I see them plain as day."
"Wait a minute okay? I am going to go unpack my stuff before I go check out my head in a mirror. Then we can go place you in St Mungo's for your hallucinations."
"Fine Cub, whatever you say. Maybe when you come back I'll see normally again, or I'll have a new cat, just what every bachelor needs." Sirius teased Harry once again. Harry rolled his eyes starting to walk down the hall. He paused for a moment when he heard Sirius call out, "Hey Cub? I am glad you're back."
Harry threw a small smile over his shoulder as he called back to him,"I missed you too, Siri."



Harry made his way to the room he used whenever he was allowed to be at his true home and unpacked what little he had. When he finished he went to the bathroom, not that he believed PadFoot, but it would be nice to wash his face. He was about to turn on the water when he looked into the mirror and saw his reflection.

Sirius and Lucius heard a terrified scream. They both took off towards the bathroom from opposite sides of the house. Lucius arrived first. Catching his breath, he looked inside. He saw Potter looking into the mirror, his face a picture of shock.
'What in heaven's name is the matter with the boy now? Severus was correct, all the boy does is look for attention wherever and however he can get it.'
"Might I inquire as to what the matter is, Mr. Potter? What could possibly incite you to raise such a disturbance?" He asked in his aristocratic drawl. Harry felt shivers run up and down his spine. That creepy feeling rose within him again, although now it was for a completely different reason. 'Since when does Malfoy's voice turn me on? Since when do GUYS turn me on? See, I’m going insane, that must be it!’
"Well," Harry started in a slightly less smooth, yet near perfect imitation of Malfoy's drawling tone, "besides the fact that for some reason I now have cat ears on my head, there really is no problem. I am terribly sorry for disturbing you, please carry on."
He looked up from the man's collar where he had been concentrating to get through such a response to the man who stirred up something inside of him that he definitely did not want stirred up.
His eyes collided with Lucius' and all Harry's mind could think was ‘Drop. Dead. Gorgeous.’ He started blushing profusely at the intense stare he was receiving. He was physically incapable of looking away from the man in front of him. However much he tried his own body betrayed him and would not look away.
Lucius was having a similar problem looking away from the beautiful emerald of the eyes in front of him, staring at him straight on as so few could do. As he dragged his eyes away from those piercing green eyes he looked the boy, now a young man, up and down. On his head were two catish ears, black and velvety, previously hidden in the mess of midnight hair. Dragging his eyes down the boy in a slow assessment he took in the new height and lean strength of the teen. He felt heat pooling low. He started to berate himself furiously in his head,'since when does this boy give me such feelings? He is the same age as my son!' On the outside he was as collected as ever, even his voice did not betray his inner turmoil. "I am to take it then that Albus did not bother to inform you of your inheritance?"
"Inheritance? What inheritance?"
"I shall take that as confirmation. Black may inform you of your inheritance," he drawled, pointing to the panting Sirius who had finally reached the hall. "if he knows that is, or Albus can give you more information. I, however, have other matters to see to and do not have the time to lead you through such a matter." There was a note of steel in his voice that was not quite strong enough to distract from the strange gleam in his eyes.
With that announcement hanging in the air, and a near indetectable swell in his pants, he left with a dramatic sweep of his robes, brushing past Sirius who was still panting in the hall.
“So,” he panted, “I guess I’m not on drugs”

Chapter Text

After a rather awkward conversation with Sirius about how: no, he was not dying, at least he didn't think so; no, neither of them knew exactly what was going on; and yes, they could discuss this matter later when he was in less of a shrieking mood; night fell.
Over an early dinner, of which Lucius had on a tray in his room, Sirius and Harry discussed his inheritance. Sirius knew little enough about it, but Fire-Called Albus to come over the next day in order to explain it more to Harry and himself. Curious about what that next day would bring and tired over the idea of dealing with his fool of a Headmaster, who hadn't mentioned his ears IN THE FIRST PLACE, Harry went to bed early.

After such a traumatic day he was exhausted and fell asleep quickly. All of his dreams were of a particular blonde wizard and himself in rather compromising positions. Some were run of the mill, except for the participants, while others were... not so much. Although, the one involving a classroom and a golden haired individual playing teacher was rather exciting and... stimulating to say the least.

Across the hallway Lucius was having rather explicit and erotic dreams as well. They all included young Harry writhing in pleasure beneath him. Unlike Harry's dream though, there was a third participant. A strong black haired man was also taking part in their love game. His favorite of the night included the delicious man sitting across the room in a chair, stroking himself, while avidly watching the couple on the bed; calling out commands, with himself behind Harry who was on all fours, both facing the familiar stranger.



As morning came both woke up to a rather awkward problem. After refreshing the silencing charms around their rooms, each attempted to take care of their problems without thinking of their dreams. Relief proved to be rather elusive however until they both reluctantly thought back to their vivid dreams. After that, their releases were fast, simple, and stronger than any that had come before. Neither one knew of the others activities, who could ever know what their reactions would have been if they did? Lucius cleaned himself quickly, and soon pulled himself together. Sirius remained fast asleep upstairs, and Harry was still in his room, trying to reign in his shame. Thus, Lucius, being the only one downstairs, started to make breakfast.
When Harry finally had his feelings under control and thought he could look at Luci-MALFOY without blushing, he made his way downstairs to be welcomed by the delightful smell of pancakes, and the delicious sight of Lucius standing in only his boxers. 'Oh, my dreams did NOT do him justice. He is absolutely gorgeous! - Harry! Stop staring at the man. Do NOT notice the soft paleness of his skin, or the fact that his abs look rock hard, or- NO! That man is thirty-six Harry don't you care about that at all?' To be honest with himself, not really, not when he was that smooth, that sophisticated, that handsome.
He gave up on his inner battle, at least for the moment, and cataloged Lucius' features properly.
Broad shouldered with muscular arms, 'perfect for holding me tight and safe at night;' large manicured hands that looked strong, yet soft, 'I wonder how those would feel running over my body, down my chest, straight down to wrap around my- do NOT go there- standing in the kitchen with him RIGHT THERE;' a smooth hairless chest that he was sure would feel amazing as he ran his hands over it; smooth, except for that small patch of hair that thinned into a line that went from his belly to... 'Gah, how I would love to follow that path with my tongue;' and his pale pink nipples, 'perfect to nibble.' Lucius turned around and Harry quickly looked away, desperately trying not to blush. He dove into a chair and consumed his well-cooked breakfast with gusto.
Lucius watched him eat and was truly proud of himself for doing so well providing for his Harry. 'MY Harry? Where the hell did that come from? This CAN NOT be happening! He is the same age as Draco, your SON. Are you seriously considering anything besides a cold civility!?' He, like Harry, found that he could not bring himself to care.
Harry finished his breakfast and, without looking directly at him, thanked Lucius. Ashamed of his dreams the night before, and his thoughts this morning, not to mention his blatant staring, he could not bring himself to look up as he left the room. With a mumbled "Have a good morning," he slunk off to his room to sulk, and to think more on Lucius, although he wouldn't admit that to himself.
Lucius watched him walk out, inwardly glowing at the praise.

Chapter Text

Harry made his way up the stairs, desperately trying not to think of Lu-Malfoy. Desperately trying not to think of Malfoy.
He walked down the hall, past his room, he went up the hidden servants stair in the dark corner, hidden by more of those cheerful House Elf heads. He made his way up the curving stair, the draft sending goosebumps down his spine. Finally, he reached the door to the tower. ‘Honestly.’ Harry thought to himself, ‘ no door could look more like it was made for a secret tower.’ The dark wood had deep scratches that were ash gray. Thick metal bars created an X where the wood melted into the crumbling rocks. ‘The fact that Sirius would rather sleep in a room made specifically to “take care” of unwanted visitors than in his childhood room or the Master Bedroom should really speak for a lot. Harry pulled open the heavy door, over it’s screeching hinges and the ever present draft he could hear Sirius’s heavy snoring.’To be fair, if he ever chose to sleep in a room actually in the house no one might ever be able to sleep again.’
As he finally opened the door enough to step through he slipped inside just as he lost hold of the door. It slammed back into place, hard enough to break bone if anyone was caught in between. As Harry looked around his Godfathers chosen room, who was still snoring heavily, two words rang around his head. Death Trap. The cragged rocks created the entire room. Reasonably spacious was the only good thing that could be said about it. The wall the door was set into was narrow and straight, only about five feet across. As Harry walked in the wall on his left side continued to be straight for about seven feet. The majority of the rooms space was made by the curving outer wall that attached to the wall connecting the door and the left side. The stones were rough and porous, and instead of a window part of the wall was just completely disintegrated. It was large enough for a full grown Hippogriff to fly through, as BuckBeak had proven time and again. The floor was absolutely covered in hay, and in the center of it all, was Sirius. His dirty king size mattress was in the middle of the floor; his sheets were twisted up in the center of the bed, speckled with hay; his pillow was halfway across the room, and there he lay. Sirius had his face centimeters from the floor each time he snored hay and dirt came frightfully close to his mouth only to be blown away again just moments before it hit him. His left leg was lying on the cold hard ground and his right leg was halfway in the air. His arms were so tangled Harry was not sure which was his right and which was his left. All in all, he was a sight.
Harry stared around this death trap of a room filled with the sounds of his ridiculous Godfather’s obnoxious snores and couldn’t help himself.
Harry Potter, Boy-Hero, Darling of the Wizarding World, Defeater of Voldemort, laughed so hard he fell down and cried.
That was the glorious sight Sirius Black woke up to. Not to the slamming of doors, not to the blaring sounds of the wind. Sirius Black woke up with a snort and not an insignificant amount of drool, to his godson laying on the ground, rolling back and forth, clutching his stomach , and giggling uncontrollably with tears streaming down his face.
Harry tried to calm down and catch his breath. He had almost done so when he looked up and saw his Godfather. His Godfather who still had one leg in the air, hair wilder than Harry’s could ever hope to be, and by leaning on his arms, which had finally found their right side of the bodies to be on, was looking at Harry bleary-eyed and with hay stuck to the drool on his stubble.
Harry fell back down laughing.



Sirius finally got himself sorted out and Harry was only letting out an uncontrollable giggle every once in a while.
“Alright, Gigglepuss, what were you coming into The Inner Sanctum Of Treachery for?”
Harry gave himself over to his giggles once more, but quickly got semi-controlled. “Really, Siri? You sleep in your TISOT?”
“It is my Inner Sanctum Of Treachery, and don’t you disrespect it!” Sirius foux-lectured “Why, don’t you know that an escaped convict and a wild ravaging beast live here! This is the heart of where true evil lies! Eat Your Socks, Voldie!” Harry’s giggles started again.
“Oh Great Treacherous One! I should never have disrespected this wild pig sty of a room! I should have known that behind every great mess is a great villain!” Harry pretended to bow down, being careful not to let his giggles tip him over again. “I just thought that the greatest evil in the land might wish to wake up before night fell again.”
“Alright, Great Brat Apprentice of Evil, I get your point!” Sirius fainted a swat at Harry, “Now, skedaddle while the Count of All That Is Evil and Sexy gets dressed.” Sirius chased the still giggling Harry out of the tower.

As Harry made his way down the hall nothing could bother him anymore. What’s a few sexy dreams, a maniacal killer out for your blood, and a twinkling Headmaster you’re no longer sure has your best interests at heart in the face of Sirius Black; Lord of All Things Evil and Sexy. Harry was so distracted by his own thoughts he almost walked head first into problem numero uno. Such was his mood that even thinking that pushed him into another fit of giggles.

Lucius stopped and stared. This sight was one he never wanted to forget. Harry Potter was standing there, well, a little hunched over really, laughing without a care in the world. Lucius got a free chance to soak it all in for as long as Harry had his little giggle attack. He would not let this chance go to waste. He desperately wanted to start from the top, but he was sure he’d get lost in that viridescent gaze. He took a deep breath, and started to memorize. Those long, tanned legs, he desperately wanted them wrapped around his waist… or shoulders, strong waist with a tantalizing trail of hair; damn, those abs, he could just imagine licking cum from them;
his hands, he could see his callouses from where he stood, he could already feel them rough and catching on his smooth skin, a delicious play of sensations; his dark hair making his skin more golden; his nipples dusky and peaked. Finally, finally, he looked up into Harry’s laughing face. His lips chapped and uneven, open in such carefree joy, Lucius ached to reach out and run his fingers, his tongue, heal his lips with his touch. He followed the strong arch of his nose to those laughing green eyes. Green had never felt so inadequate a word and Lucius had never felt so inept with the english language. His eyes were poetry. Glistening with tears of joy and dancing in fun, inviting him to laugh along. Nothing could ever fully encapsulate, no one who had not seen it would ever be able to fully understand the unrelenting, nigh on painful, amount of beauty there was at this moment in Harry Potter’s laughing green eyes.

A lock of hair fell over his eyes.

Suddenly, Lucius could hear again, when had he stopped being able to hear? He looked through the ragged mess of Harry’s hair, he longed to run his hands through it. He saw those silken ears, he longed to bite them. He heard Harry’s giggled request to let him by, he stood to the side. He watched Harry’s delectable little ass sashay to his room, it would look better with a tail.

As Harry closed the door behind him, Lucius noticed that his mouth had been open and he’d never said a word.

Chapter Text

Harry made his way to his room, wiping away the tears that were still streaming down his face. ‘I knew Siri would make everything okay.’ He hopped into the shower. Feeling the steady hot pressure rain down on him calmed him down some. As Harry started to wash he felt himself reacting in another way to the warmth and the smooth touches. He unconsciously trailed his hand down his chest. Lingering over his nipple he gave a gentle tug before it continued it’s path down his stomach. Behind his closed eyes flashes of blonde hair mixed with dulcet tones. Harry almost stopped then and there, but he was already so relaxed from earlier, and the water and the pressure felt so good… ‘It wouldn’t hurt, just this once. It really wouldn’t mean anything.’ Even as he was still justifying his actions to himself his hand had started a lazy tugging. Harry moaned. With his decision made he started to put pressure in his strokes. As he circled the head he through his head back. Clenching his teeth he tried to remember if he had put up a silencing spell, if he had or not it was too late now. He trailed his unoccupied hand across his chest, pinching and pulling on his nipples until they almost hurt. In his mind his hands were larger, paler, manicured nails scratching at him as that cool aristocratic voice whispered reminders in his ear to stay quite. Harry became lost to the sensations and his own imagination. It was no longer his hand racing up and down his cock, flicking the head on every upwards stroke, it was Lucius’ cruelly teasing strokes. As he felt closer and closer to release it was Lucius’s hand that trailed it’s way down his chest, tugging sharply on his balls whenever he rose too close to the edge. Harry let out only the tiniest whines and whimpers through his still clenched teeth, but in his head he was begging his cruel lover to give him release. Just as Harry truly thought he would go crazy, his dream Lucius leaned down to the crook of his neck and whispered ‘come,’ and bit down hard enough to draw blood. As Harry stroked himself to completion he fell to his knees, biting his arm to keep his screams inside. As he finished Harry steadied himself on his arms, panting with his face to the ground, watching as the water still pounding on him washed his release swirling down the drain.
“Yeah,’ he whispered aloud to himself, lifting a hand up to the phantom bite on his neck, ‘that meant nothing. Nothing at all.”


Harry stood with a towel around his waist, staring at himself in the mirror. He gave a little giggle. He had to admit, ears or no ears, he was looking pretty hot. As Harry stared at his ears he even had to admit that they looked… really good on him. Admitting that to anyone else though, not happening. As he stared at them more though, something started to bug him. Like they lacked something. As he ran a hand through his hair he figured out what it was. Animation. They sat there, in their same position, completely still. It almost seemed like something he had just decided to clip into his hair. Harry tried to focus on them, tried to get even the slightest twitch out of them. Nothing.
He reached up. He petted his new ears, going against the grain before smoothing it back down. They were warm and soft. The outer fur was silky and plush, when he pet inside his ears they were warm and smooth. They felt real and alive, but they didn’t react at all to his touches. While the rest of his body felt normal and reactive, the cat ears felt muted somehow. He felt the touch of his hands distantly, but even when he pinched his ears all he felt was a weird sort of pressure. It reminded him of one of the few times he’d been to the hospital.

Dudley had broken Petunia’s new vase and was throwing the pieces at a seven year old Harry after Harry refused to take the blame for it. He got a few shallow cuts here and there, but he was mostly able to dodge the flying projectiles. It was the sound of Vernon opening the door that distracted him. A piece, larger than most, slashed right through his leg. Harry fell to the ground, bleeding and sobbing. His “Family” was just going to make him suck it up and clean up as they normally did, until they noticed that the bleeding was getting worse not better. They reluctantly took him to the hospital where he needed twelve stitches. In order to do so without him moving they numbed his leg with a gel, then used this big needle to numb the muscles as well. When the pain went away Harry had become fascinated with the process. His leg felt like leather, he could feel the needle going in and out, but there was no pain.

That was what his ears felt like now. Like they had been numbed for some reason.

Harry was startled out of his revelry when Sirius knocked on his door. “Pup, Dumbledore will be here in five!”
Harry was immediately thrust into panic mode.”Thanks for the warning, King of the Mutts!” Even through his frustration he gave another giggle.
“What, did you need more primping time?” Sirius laughed as he walked away. Harry started laughing all over again and needed to take a moment to breathe.
Just as he calmed down from his giggle fit he fell into panic mode and raced to get ready for the Headmaster’s visit.
As he rushed down the stairs, still pulling his t-shirt on, he almost rammed into Sirius and his oversized mug of coffee. Harry stopped just before impact and giggled before he could even catch his breath. Sirius raised his eyebrow at him as he looked up from his giggle fit, and Harry went down again. Lucius made his way into the hallway from his spot in the library, curious as to all the commotion.

Harry caught his breath once again. This time as he looked at his Godfather he saw the same disturbing light he’d seen before. “Siri?”
“What Pup? Need another excuse to giggle?” Harry gave a quick snicker before he could stop himself.
“No, I’m doing well enough on my own in that respect,” he unleashed another giggle as if to prove a point, “it’s just that…”
“What is it, Pup? Is something wrong?” Lucius made a concerned step forward, the two other men were too focused on each other to notice.
“Sometimes, when you look at me… I don’t know it’s weird, it’s not like the way you usually look at me.” Harry got quieter and quieter as he spoke, looking unsure of himself. Lucius crept another step closer.
Sirius gave a loud barking laugh; not the sort that means someone finds something funny, but the kind of laugh where you’re hoping everyone else will pretend it is. When no one else started laughing Sirius drew to an awkward stop. “So, you see Pup,’ Sirius started off, shamefully dropping his head and rubbing the back of his neck. He looked up through his mop of hair. ‘You see, Pup. You’re not really a Pup anymore. You’re more of a… kitten. And I’m still very much a dog.”
Harry didn’t know whether to laugh or scream. It came out as a weird combination of the two. “Seriously!?” He screamed through his giggles. “So, what? You want to chase me?”
“A little bit, yeah”
Harry through his hands in the air, “Of course, of course” he started to dramatically mumble.
“Hey, it’s not like I’ve done it,’ Sirius shouted, the ‘... yet” came out in a whisper under his breath.
“Fabulous, I’ll keep that in mind,” Harry turned on his heel and lost his balance when his leg got too close to the edge of Lucius’s robe. Harry was about to react, heavens knows how he would have done so, except for the fact that he was struck speechless.
When he turned and Lucius saw him stumble he immediately reached out to help, not the usual Malfoy way, but this one time an exception could be made. He wrapped one arm just above Harry’s waist, with the other he grabbed Harry’s flailing arm. With his dominant hand still holding Harry’s his other arm drew Harry closer until they were chest to chest, face to face. Lucius could hardly breath, his mind was dizzy with the thought that everything he has ever wanted was in his arms at this very moment, he could feel the electricity sparking between them and racing down his spine.
What was happening to Harry was even more dramatic. When Lucius’s hand had first grabbed his everything else went out of focus. All there was in the world was Lucius’s hand in his. Then Lucius’s arm went around his waist. Everywhere his arm touched turned to fire and that fire spread out from where he was touching until it covered his entire body, from the tips of his ears to the tips of his toes. Harry was gasping, everything in him was attuned to Lucius and Lucius alone. Their breaths were mingling in the scant inches between them. Confused and desperate green eyes stared into molten silver pools.
Time stood still.

Suddenly, or so it seemed to the two entangled in the hallway, the world came back into focus as the inescapable laugh of the Headmaster echoed down the hall. Faster than thought Lucius made Harry and himself both look respectable and of a clear distance from each other. As it happens both the Headmaster and Sirius had missed the intimate display, as Sirius had turned to answer Albus’s knock just as Harry himself had turned away.

“Headmaster, how… fortunate I am to see you again, and so soon as well.” Lucius’s aristocratic tones somehow seemed to both drip with sincerity, and to convey his deepest scorn.
“Lucius, please, I have insisted that you call me Albus, what are titles between friends?” Albus’s eyes twinkled brighter than any constellation.
“I do agree, titles do tend to get in the way in a friendship. If only I knew you had been coming, but, alas, I am deep in my studies. Good evening, Sirius, Hadrian, Headmaster.” Lucius left in a swirl of robes and with Harry’s giggles coming at his back.
Dumbledore’s eyes were as sharp as crystal, and just as clear. His voice came out jarringly false and cheerful.
“Well, that Lucius is as hard as they come, but that is of no matter. It seems young Harry, that we have much to discuss. Shall we adjourn to the common room?”
Sirius, confused at way to much going on around him, none of which he understood, awkwardly tried to wave the Headmaster ahead of him, and, when the Headmaster just twinkled at him, shuffled to the front to lead the way. Harry followed him, still giggling madly. The Headmaster’s hand came down sternly on his shoulder. “Harry, I know you are young, but really, my dear boy, some things we must take seriously.” The Headmaster tried to stare Harry down. Harry looked up at those eyes he barely recognized as his once kindly Headmaster, and started giggling even harder. Sirius looked back at the duo who had not even left the main hall yet. He waited, trying to see if they would stop their intense stare off, he was starting to get a bad feeling, finally. He tried to break it up the only way he knew how, by not taking anything seriously.
“It seems to me Pup, or should it be Kitten now? Anyway, it seems to me Pup that you’ve come down with a serious case of the giggles.” Somehow, Harry started to giggle harder, his face was turning red from lack of air and tears were streaming down his face.

The Headmaster looked frustrated out of his mind. “Shall we continue to the common room?” He gave Harry a push, as if Harry had been the problem. They all finally made it to the common room, and Harry had stopped giggling for the moment. The Headmaster sat in the armchair near the fire, leaving only the couch.
“Um, Sirius? Is it going to be a problem if we sit near each other?”
“Hey, I’m perfectly house broken!” Sirius mimed offense as they made their way to the couch. Harry was just starting to sit on the end closest to the fire when he heard Sirius’s mischievous voice behind him, “Mostly.” As Harry felt Sirius take a swat near his head he ducked and grabbed yesterday’s paper from the couch. He rolled it up and with a great twirl…
Bapped Sirius right on the nose! “No! Bad Sirius! No hitting the kitty!” Sirius and Harry fell into a happy and confused tangle on the couch. Both were giggling and faux-lecturing the other. “You should respect your elders!” “You should learn manners!” “Remus loves me best!” “No, Remus loves ME best!” “You have fleas!” “No, you have fleas” Only a complete monster would interrupt such a moment of love and joy and companionship.

“I believe we are here for a reason?” Dumbledore interrupted, a genial smile on his lips.Sirius and Harry sorted themselves out until they each had their own side of the couch.
“Now boys, why all are we here?” Dumbledore asked in a way that seemed to imply that they were wasting his time and he was magnanimously humoring them.
Harry opened his mouth to answer, but Sirius beat him to it “Headmaster, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but you see, Harry here, Dear Boy that he is, Apparently, some might say, he could possibly, be in possession of, what some might consider to be,” Harry was desperately holding in his giggles as Sirius continued to sarcastically drag on his answer. ‘I guess some things do get through to him’ “as unlikely an event as it would seem to be, he might, conceivably, by some people's estimations, and as statistically unlikely as it is,” Dumbledore's face was getting more and more red, his cheeks were mottled, and his eyes had never looked so cold or controlled. Still, Sirius continued, he was nothing if not stubborn. “Doubtlessly so, even as unimaginable as it might be, nigh on impossible, completely infeasible, ridiculous to the zenith degree!” Sirius was standing, one hand over his heart as his other pointed to the heavens, he took a deep breath and…
“He’s got Cat Ears, Dude.”

Harry was giggling into his Godfather’s shoulder as Dumbledore tried to control his emotions.

Right before he started to speak, Harry’s ear gave a flick.


Lucius Malfoy was many things. Charming, roguish, courtly, dignified, desirable, alluring. All in all, he was everything well-bred and elegant. He was by what everyone else defined High-Class. Those that are high class do not listen at doors. Obviously, since he was the very definition of high class that meant he was not listening at the door. Obviously. Irrefutably. He just dropped something. He would swear it unto his grave. He most definitely dropped something. Maybe that is it over there. Nevermind, just a shadow. Honestly, one of his cufflinks was missing. The left of his black gold with Blue Diamond Ankhs. It was terribly expensive. Sure, it had been missing since Draco was two years old, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t still look for it.

Lucius edged closer to the crack of the door between the dining room and the common room. It wasn’t his fault everyone spoke so loud you could practically hear it on the other side of the house.
He cast a subtle “Koakro*”.

“... Ears, Dude”



“..Koakro” Harry froze. He did not know what to catalogue first. His Ear moved. It moved so he could hear something he should not have been able to hear. What he heard was Lucius Malfoy listening at the door, remember to laugh about that later. He could hear out of his cat ear. Again, HIS EAR MOVED. How? It hadn’t been able to before. He hadn’t been able to hear out of it before either. He might of heard Dumbledore saying something, he was a little distracted by his whirling thoughts. He felt like he was in quicksand and nothing could get him out. What was happening? Why was it happening? Couldn’t it please just happen to somebody else? Nothing was getting through to him. Well, until…

Sirius screamed right into his cat ears. He had tugged on the right as he screamed into the left. Apparently they were sensitive, VERY sensitive. What happened next was pure instinct.
Harry turned on Sirius with a snarl and five razor sharp claws. If Sirius had been any slower he would have been sliced to pieces. Harry was still hissing when he came back to himself. He crumpled into a ball in the corner of the couch. As Sirius started back towards the couch from where he had jumped, Harry shrunk into himself more, ashamed and on the verge of tears. Sirius casually threw himself onto the couch again, his arm around Harry and dragging him into casual hug. “And claws. And he apparently can sound like an Alley Cat at the drop of a hat.” He turned to look at Harry, “which you have to admit Camo Kit, that is just totally bunk. Here you are a fully armored Assassin Kitty, and I can’t even bark at you without losing my clothes.” He nodded decisively, “It’s totally unfair and you’re just going to have to admit it. I win all future fights on the basis that you are a dirty, good for nothing, cheat” As Sirius talked more and more Harry slowly unfurled himself from his ball. By the end Harry was half laying on Sirius while the charming goofball ran his hands through his hair, careful to be gentle around the ears. Harry smiled up at Sirius, the wonderful child-like smile that so few get to see, one full of absolute love, devotion, and trust.
“You can’t win all our future fights just because I’m better than you. We’ll just have to take it to Remus, and since I’M his favorite, I will still be the winner of all our fights!”
Sirius sputtered in pretend outrage as he pulled Harry closer, “What do you mean you’re his favorite! And what do you mean still! I win the most fights and you know it, Alley Cat.” Another beautiful moment of love and understanding. Of forgiveness with no strings. Really, only someone completely devoid of human emotion would interrupt such an important bond.

Harry opened his mouth to quip back at Sirius, “Really, boys. While it does this old heart good to see two of my favorite people so happy, I have so much to do today and I would like to do everything I can to help here.” Dumbledore spoke with his hand over his heart and a soft warmth to his eyes. Harry wondered how hard it would be to scratch those shining, twinkling eyes out of his old, putrid face.
“Of course, Headmaster,” Harry spoke in as sickeningly sweet a tone as he could manage. He could manage very very well. “You see, the problem we have is that I was with you the other day and I apparently had these ears. I, personally, was just wondering why you had never mentioned such things to me before you dropped me off.” Harry pushed all the sugary sweetness he had to the forefront of his mind in case Dumbledore decided to go for a swim. Behind his wall of banality he hid one thought, ‘and what does it all have to do with Lucius Malfoy.’ He was not quite as stupid as he seemed.
As Harry sat back to look at Dumbledore, he noticed something. Or, at least, he thought he did. He had always been quite observant, but this went beyond that in a way. It was more like being able to understand every aura in the room, being able to understand what they were and what they could be. Dumbledore had been frustrated and bored before. Like he knew what was coming and he hated having to deal with it. Now, it was different. Now he was more enraged, like he knew less than he wanted. More like, he had put steps in place to avoid something, now it was ruined. If there were two things Dumbledore didn’t like, be he noble or dishonorable, it was not knowing something, and losing control over what he thought he had. That was what his new senses were telling him. Like knowing the backstory to a movie because you read the book. You look at the screen and it’s completely different from what you know is true. Because looking at Dumbledore now, all he saw was twinkles and smiles.

“Harry, my dear boy,” started Dumbledore. Harry hid another giggle in Sirius’s shoulder. No matter how serious the situation, Dumbledore accidentally echoing Sirius would always be funny. He got a sharp glare in response before the Grandfatherly persona came back to the fore. “It was an oversight on my part, and really such a silly one at that. I was sure you knew and that Sirius had explained everything to you.” He folded his hands over his lap, looking chidingly over at Sirius. Harry was trembling for a fight for that dig at Sirius, but he was not so caught up in his own fury and frustration that he failed to notice the looks Dumbledore kept shooting at the seat of his pants. Why? What was he looking for? Why now and not, say, yesterday when he was with him, or when they first came into the room.
“What do you mean you thought Sirius would have told me? He should have told me before I even got them?” Harry tried to look more confused than accusing. Sirius just sat there tense and trembling. If Dumbledore hadn’t already been on his Shit List then accusing him of in any way harming Harry would have made him star of the show.
“Harry, I thought Sirius would have told you as early as your fourth year what to expect. I figured he would know better than anyone how to explain your inheritance to you. While I loved your parents,” Dumbledore, all seer that he is, missed the way both Sirius and Harry stiffened and moved closer together at that gregarious statement. “I know Sirius and Remus were the closest to them. I thought they would best be able to explain the complicated inheritance you would be receiving.” Dumbledore leaned back proudly, opening his arms as if to usher them into the forest of BS he just wove for them.
“Right, you see, here is where we come into a problem. Neither James nor Lily had any ‘Complicated’ inheritances.” Sirius kept his voice as matter of fact as he could.
Dumbledore shook his head sadly, staring down at his hands limply. He heaved a great sigh that betrayed his deep well of grief and disappointment. Sirius raised his eyebrow and looked at Harry. Harry was already staring back. They just held there for a moment sharing their outstanding incredulity at the brazen idiot in front of them. They faced forward again, ready for the show. “I was sure they would have told at least you, Sirius, I’m sorry they didn’t. I tried so hard to get them to trust someone outside of us three.” Sirius and Harry were torn between indignation and laughter over the idea of James and Lily trusting Dumbledore more than their best friends. “I knew they could never tell Remus, and I’m sorry about that.” Nevermind, it was pure out and out fury raging through them. No one. No. One. hurts or brings down Remus in any way. Ever. You could be holding the cure to Lycanthropy in your hand and Remus would give it to a stranger. No one cares about other people the way Remus does. To hell with any that would smear his name. “You see, many purebloods, when they get their inheritance, it’s more than some money and power, you get wonderful magical gifts. James was one of those people. Lily got her inheritance as part of James’s. It is one of the reasons she and poor Severus could never be.”


‘First, you hurt the one who I have claimed, Then, you insult his family. Now, “Poor Severus.” Poor, only to your greedy hands, and she couldn’t get with Severus because. He. Is. Gay. oh you omnipotent moron. Please, we all await your tremendous finish.’


‘Yeah, because James needed magics help with all that. Keep it up jerkwad, we are all very sure that this is true and not something coming out of your ass’
“You see, when James reached sixteen both he and his mate came into an inheritance. They both got cat ears and claws like you did my dear boy. They did a nifty job of hiding it, until they found out they didn’t have to! Once they found each other they were able to hide their new attributes. After that it only came out, well, I’ll leave that talk for later. I knew they would never tell poor Remus that they had such an easily contained condition, but I thought if they hadn’t told you then they would have told you when you were made Harry’s Godfather.” Dumbledore looked up his eyes heavy and old with sorrow. Sirius and Harry both worked hard to swallow their real feelings on the matter. Harry went first and honorably played his part in Dumbledore’s charade. He looked up into the Headmaster’s eyes for but a moment until he started furiously blushing and pulling himself up and away from Sirius. “So, uh, er, once I find my, uh, other person, I’ll be able to hide my ears?” He felt the flush crawling up to his human ears.
Dumbledore blinked at him merrily, obviously glad Harry accepted what he said. “Yes, dear boy. No one needs to know once you find your mate.” Harry gave an embarrassed “eep” when Dumbledore said mate, then shot him awkward darting glances as he said with a voice brimming in childlike hope, “That should be easy though, right? Because they’ll have ears just like mine? And we’ll be perfect together like my Mum and Dad were?” Harry stood, uncomfortable, but proud of his new life. Dumbledore seemed to have forgotten all the problems he’d been having with Harry at the beginning, or maybe he purposefully left them behind because they didn’t match his narrative, either way he beamed like a proud father and clapped his hands together. “That is exactly right my dear boy! Just so!” He was so busy being happy for Harry he failed to notice Harry kicking Sirius’s leg as he lay there still grumbling to himself. It was almost as if lightning had struck Sirius as he leaped to his feet, limbs akimbo and ready to give the performance of his life. “He’s right, Harry! I couldn’t be there for your Dad, but I’ll kill him for that in the next life! Right now we just gotta find you a pretty little lady with cat ears. With your good looks and my charm soon we’ll have a Junior running around!” Sirius chucked him under his chin. “Not too soon though, kiddo. First you have to try and beat my Auror records. Emphasis on the try though, if you actually beat them your head will join these hallowed halls.” Harry leaned into Sirius, laughing all the way. Under his breath there was a soft, “Good job.” Barely there for anyone to hear. In fact only three people heard that whisper, and none of them were Dumbledore.

After a while Dumbledore decided it was time for everyone to calm down. He raised his hands as he would at the beginning of the Welcome Feast and fluidly dropped into the armchair again. Sirius and Harry returned to the couch, side by side with Sirius’s arm around Harry’s shoulders and Harry’s around his waist. Dumbledore began again. “I am so glad we were able to so easily sort this out my boy’s. Now, Harry, I know this might not seem like enough information on your inheritance, but that is why sixth years have a class on this subject. It is twice a week, the beginning of Monday and the end of Friday; or the end of Monday and the beginning of Friday. It is Slytherin and Gryffindor, you understand my boy, to encourage Inter-House Unity, and then Ravenclaw and HufflePuff. The teachers teach this class on rotation. Everyone takes a year. This year is Professor Snape's turn to teach.” It wasn’t in fact, but that could be easily arranged. “I do so hope you try to get along with him Harry, especially because you’ll be taking special classes with him when the school year starts, “Harry opened his mouth, “but more on that later. I’m sure you’ll be getting your letter soon and all. Now, if you wouldn’t mind dear boy, me and Sirius have a bit to talk about before I go.” Harry looked between the twinkling Headmaster and and overwhelmed Sirius, and he did the only thing he could. “Of course, Headmaster.”

Harry started walking towards the back of the room. “Harry, where are you going?” Sirius called at his back.
“I just thought I’d get a snack to hold me until dinner,” He’d made it to the door. “Good Evening Headmaster. Don’t be late for dinner Siri.”
He stepped through and closed the door right behind him.


He had managed to surprise him.
Harry stood, smirking at Lucius as he straightened up in surprise. Harry got one glorious look at an unsure Malfoy before Lucius pulled himself together.
“Hello, Harry, what a surprise, I was just-”
“No matter, Lucius.” Lucius gave him what passed for a surprised stare in the Malfoy household. Harry just gave him a polite smile.
“So, Lucius, join us for dinner?”

Chapter Text

Hello, whoever is out there!


It’s me and I am SO sorry I’ve been gone.
Believe it or not, I have a pretty legitimate excuse.
I was out and about picking up some Marvel posters on my bike when some dude in a car hit me.
I was in a coma for a while and in a hospital for longer. I have physical injuries and brain damage (fun) so any good vibes or prayer you want to send my way would be greatly appreciated.


For a little while, this fun place will actually hold non-fiction (gasp!) as I document just some of what my circumstances are doing to me. I hate to break it to you, but most of it will be about me emotionally and all the reasons I am a horrible person. If people are okay with it some will include gross bits about my injuries, but those will be made easily skippable for those not signed up for that. But hey, anyone sticking around only because they are hoping for gross details to spread to family and friends, hooray! I do have brothers and whenever my youngest one is starting to get too annoying or uppity I threaten to show him my wounds. It’s fun, promise.


Anyway, once I get a few of those out of my system we’ll go back to our regular programming. I will try to have the first one back be special.


Until we meet again my friends.



TDL <3