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I'll Rust With You

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How did it get to be like this? Bobby, Sam, Dean not trusting him. Can’t they see this is his only choice? Sure, working with Crowley isn’t ideal by any means, but it is much better to work with him, to put him in possible danger rather than putting any of the other three in danger. Right? This is what he has been telling himself for months, but Dean could barely look at him anymore and now he is questioning his plan. It’s too late to stop now. If he doesn’t finish his plan Raphael could restart the Apocalypse.

If only none of this had happened. Sam going to Hell, the Apocalypse, even Dean going to Hell. If only he were able to save Dean from selling his soul.

An idea struck Castiel. Theoretically, he could travel back in time to save him and in doing so avert the Apocalypse. It will be hard, though, he knows. Dean won’t know him and definitely won’t believe him if he says he is an angel travelling back in time to save him. No, he would have to keep his real identity from both Dean and Sam (though, Sam would be more likely to believe and trust him). He would have to pose as a hunter, perhaps, especially if he lands before the date of Sam’s death, which is likely as time travel is very difficult and rarely exact.

With his mind made up, Castiel goes to see Dean in his dreams.

When he arrives, he is surprised to see the setting is the same as when he appeared in his dream what seems like many years ago, even though it was only a few years. Dean is sitting on a dock by a silent lake, Castiel behind him.

“What do you want, Cas?” Dean asks without even turning to face him. Castiel is momentarily shocked Dean was able to know he was there, but it is his dream so he supposes it isn’t to surprising.

“Dean,” Castiel simply says. When he opens his mouth to say more he is hit with the realization this will be a goodbye. As he already knows, he will be going to a Dean who hasn’t met him yet, who has never trusted him before and once he changes events, this timeline will cease to exist. He will never be able to see this Dean again, the Dean he has gone through so much with. There is a pang in Castiel’s chest which he can only say is sorrow. This is for the best, though, he tells himself.

Taking a deep breath, Castiel continues. “I’ve come to tell you I will fix it; I will fix everything .”

“I thought you said that it’s not broken,” Dean replied sharply, turning around to face Castiel. However, in contrast to the tone of his voice, Castiel can see hope in Dean’s eyes.

“Not now it can’t. It’s too late to fix my mistakes now,” he starts. Castiel continues when Dean opens his mouth to talk. “I’m going back to save you from making that deal. I will make things right.”

Dean is shocked, Castiel sees. “Cas, I thought you said you can’t change the past.”

“There are only certain specific events which can’t be changed. Your mother making a deal with Azazel being one and your’s and Sam’s births being another. Other things can be changed.”

Dean gets up and starts to pace. “Wouldn’t my whole breaking the first seal be an event that can’t be changed, too?” Dean questions. “That seems to be very important to your siblings.”

“Perhaps, but I have to try,” replies Castiel.

Dean rubs a hand on his face and walks closer to Castiel. He looks.. Upset?

“Why do you have to be so dramatic?” Dean barks out.

“I don’t understand. I thought you wanted me to fix my ‘issue,’” Castiel says with finger quotes.

“Yeah, I do. So if you are going back in time how about just going back to right before you agreed to work with Crowley! That is the issue here, Cas, not the whole chain of events leading up to it that we’ve already dealt with!”

“I would be saving both you and your brother from a lifetime of being in Hell, Dean,” Castiel says firmly. “I would be saving the both of you from knowing each other’s deaths.”

“Cas -”

Castiel cuts him off saying, “No matter what you say, Dean, I’m going to be doing this. I only came here to say goodbye.”

Dean’s eyes widen. “Your saying this as if I’ll never see you again.”

Castiel looks down and away from Dean. “Once I change events, this timeline should cease to exist, Dean, but it is something I have to do.” He looks up at Dean one last time. “Goodbye, Dean. I will save you, I promise. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“Cas, wait -” Castiel sees Dean reach for him with a mix of sadness and fear in his eyes, but Castiel is gone before he can reach him.