When you look at a mirror, you never get the full measure of yourself. You are reversed, wholly you and yet, not you. Unheimlich, the uncanny - there are names for these things.
There are names for Cameron and for Tyler and the ways that they reflect one another.
As children, people could never tell them apart. Perhaps that's where it started.
He knows what Tyler will say before he says it - his brother has always been quick to anger, much like he has always been quick to caution. Divya and Tyler discuss the logistics as they walk back to the dorm, anger punctuating their words as Cameron stays quiet. It's not that he's not angry, but Cameron knows that someone has to be thinking of what they can actually do as opposed to what they want to do. So far he knows he needs to call their father, contact a lawyer, see where they stand legally. After that, they'll take whatever course is suggested. Carefully.
The walk back to the dorm feels much shorter than usual; Tyler loses patience with his keycard at the door, practically charging his way back to their room. Cameron heads straight for the shower and by the time he's out, Divya's already bringing up the site and talking it over with Tyler. Moving past the two of them, Cameron goes for the phone and starts dialling.
Divya may scoff and Tyler may posture but someone has to think with a level head about this. And that someone is always going to be Cameron. It might sound stupid and perhaps saying 'gentlemen of Harvard' opened himself up to more mockery than necessary but if he isn't a gentleman, then what is he? How can they ever expect to build a good business reputation off the back of ill-thought out responses? It might not seem important to them now, but Cameron knows they can't be seen to be petty about this, he knows they cannot come across as entitled and they can't come across as furious. They need to seem calm and they need to be prepared.
Divya and Tyler can only see Harvard Connection. Cameron can see that Harvard Connection, however valuable it is, is not the thing that will define his career.
So Tyler can pull and he will push: the balance will be maintained.
Sometimes Cameron will look at Tyler and all he can see is a photographic negative of himself. All the spaces he's filled in, Tyler checks out of. They have crafted their identies around being what the other is not. So where Tyler laughs easily, Cameron is silent. Where Cameron is reasoned, Tyler is forceful. It's a delicate system of checks and balances, but wherever one of them goes, the other will follow.
They've never done anything else - the question now is who will follow who?
He throws himself into training, hours upon hours in the tank. Divya's pointed remarks and Crimson cuttings are ignored, much in the way Tyler's attempts to persuade him are disregarded. There is no time for this now. Not with Larry Summers' rebuke still ringing in his ears, it's not worthy of Harvard at every turn. Now, there is the race. The race is all that matters. It's something they could still win.
Cameron has never been one to surprise. His whole life he has been the steady one, the one to be relied on; level-headed, calm and collected, even-keeled. But the moment Kenwright starts talking about his daughter he knows, he knows that it's going to be Facebook. It's always fucking Facebook. He needs to see it. He needs to see it now.
Tyler and Divya follow him through, Tyler telling him to stop. Tyler's voice doesn't sound like his own and yet it's still familiar, something about the intonation that is both unrecognisable and somehow knowable. He stops typing, the letters f, a, c and e still leering at him from the address bar. Cameron stops focusing and somewhere between his brother pleading and him setting his face against the sea of people in the next room, something in Cameron shifts. "Screw it," he pauses, only briefly, "Let's gut the friggin' nerd." As soon as he says it, he stills. This is a turning point, one he can't back down from and the gravity of what he's just said hits him. He stands there frozen on the threshold, letting it all sink in. The loss of the race. The adrenaline rush. The decision to sue.
He doesn't feel like himself. He feels looser, more powerful, more forceful.
Divya turns to look at Tyler, who punches the air, victory written all over his face. Cameron is still static when Divya throws his arms around him, pleased and disbelieving. As the two of the high five and begin to talk strategy, Cameron walks to the bar. "Three vodkas, neat. "
Tomorrow, they call their lawyers, they get their shit together. Tonight? Tonight they celebrate.
It hits him suddenly a month later, when Tyler's on the phone to Mom, what sounded so odd about Tyler's voice, that day in the Henley clubhouse. Tyler didn't sound like himself. He sounded like Cameron.
The night before their first lawyer-accompanied meeting with Mark, Cameron knocks on Tyler's door. There's a grunt of assent before he pushes it open, revealing Tyler hunched over his laptop, peering at the screen. "What is it Cameron?"
"It all starts tomorrow. Tomorrow we walk into that room and we're officially suing Mark Zuckerberg. It's just," he pauses as he moves to sit on Tyler's bed, "it's a little weird."
Tyler looks up from his laptop, concerned, "Cam, you better not be thinking of backing out--"
"No, it's not - I'm not at all. That prick is going to get what's coming to him. I just wonder what it's going to be like. Depositions were all well and good but he's going to be there, on the other side of the room. I don't know what to do with that."
"You look him in the eye and you tell him that he stole our idea." Tyler swivels in his chair, "Look, it's not going to be as bad as you think. Our lawyer is going to handle most of it and you just have to tell him what happened."
"It's, but that's not really it though. He's going to sit there, across the table from me and he's going to tell the truth as he saw it." Cameron pauses to breathe and he can see Tyler trying to process what he's just said. He leans forward then, elbows on his knees and runs his hand through his hair. "In the end, either he or we are going to come out of this as liars and that really only just hit me because, what if we're all telling the truth? How can you tell the difference?"
Tyler laughs, brushing his hand against his mouth in disbelief for a second before giving up the pretence. "You know, sometimes I think you think too much. This isn't a courtroom drama. This is us suing a guy who stole our idea."
"I know," Cameron rubs his hands against his thighs, resting them on his knees; a frown creasing his forehead.
"Cameron, you've got to trust me on this," he puts his hand on Cameron's and for a second it's hard to tell them apart. "Trust me."
Once the case has been settled and the lawyers are dispensed with, they move on. Well, Cameron does. Tyler stays angry, angry for a long time. There's a brief bout of flouting Facebook, ignoring those stupid enough to make friend requests. Eventually though, they give in. Or at least Cameron does. "It was always a good idea Ty," he says rolling his eyes over breakfast, "Boycotting it now is just petty."
"Well maybe I want to be petty. Maybe I think that I have every fucking right to be petty."
"Ty, at some point you are going to have to let it go." He says it wearily, reaching for the morning paper as he does so. Just then he has the oddest sense of feeling like their father, listening as Tyler rants about another injustice done to him. He opens his mouth to say it, but Tyler cuts him off, leaning across his plate.
"Don't you dare try to suggest that we won. We didn't win, he settled. There's a difference." Cameron raises his eyebrow and Tyler sighs, sinking back in his chair. "I get it, you know the difference. "
"Look," he folds the newspaper down and looks over it at Tyler, "At this stage, we've got a lot more to worry about, like, I don't know, the goddamn Olympics?" He puts the paper to the side and leans forward to meet his brother, "We're acknowledged. We have shares. The world knows that Zuckerberg screwed us. What else do you want? Or have you been talking to Div about this again, because you know that's not healthy right?" He pauses as he reopens the paper, "For either of you."
When they hear a movie script is being batted about, concerning Facebook and all the messiness that went into it, Cameron is the first to step away. Raking it over, all that dirty laundry - all that embarrassment - it's just not something he's interested in doing. But before he knows it Tyler has conned him into a meeting with the screenwriter.
The writer is apparently also the director and is keen to know as much as possible. He has the transcripts of some of the depositions, sources from their time at Harvard but, as he says, it's not the same as hearing it from them. Tyler is, as usual, more garrulous than himself, spilling stories about Divya's rants on Mark's behaviour. As Tyler tells another story, Cameron wonders if Divya is in anyway involved. If anyone else is.
The thing that Cameron doesn't understand is why there needs to be a movie at all. It's not like what happened was particularly interesting to those who weren't a part of it. It feels odd to think that he might be portrayed onscreen, someone taking notes from his posture and his speech patterns. Uncanny even, to imagine a mirror version of himself that isn't Tyler.
In the end the meeting isn't a total shitstorm, nevertheless he comes away from the encounter feeling used, a little soiled perhaps. In the cab on the way home, he turns to Tyler with an anger he didn't realise he felt, "Don't you ever pull that shit again.You can do that to anyone else, but not to me. I'm your brother for God's sakes." His voice takes on a quality unlike its usual self, "You can lie to anyone else, but don't do that to me."
Tyler laughs it off but Cameron is insistent before saying, "Count me out. I don't want to be involved."
The next time they hear of the project, their story has been sidelined.
Cameron breathes a sigh of relief.
It was bound to happen at some point, running into Mark Zuckerberg; so far they've managed to avoid him, too busy training for meets or the Olympics or studying in Oxford. It's a Young Businessman event or some other, the names of these things all tend to bleed together after a time, and there he is. Not the awkward guy in flip-flops anymore (though it's clear that 'Black Tie' was interpreted somewhat loosely at best), not even the disinterested, dishevelled CEO across the table from them two years ago. He looks shockingly more comfortable, making conversation with Jawed Karim in the corner by the bar.
"Fuck," he hears behind him as Tyler pulls up short behind him, hand still halfway to his wallet.
"Let it go Ty. We're shareholders, remember?"
Tyler squares his shoulders , "I need a drink. You?" Cameron nods briskly and together they stride towards the bar. Divya's there too, all raised eyebrows and raised blood pressure, his hand practically attached to his BlackBerry. It's been a while since Cameron last saw him - he knows he and Tyler stay in contact more. Tyler moves down to the other end of the bar trying to catch the bartender's attention and Cameron taps Divya on the shoulder, "It's been too long my friend." Divya turns and a grin spreads across his face. "Cameron! You guys made it, thank god, it's been forever. How are you?"
"Good, good, busy. You?"
They chat a little before Tyler barrels back in bearing whiskey and a bear hug for Divya. Cameron looks on amused as their old dynamic starts up again, no matter how long it's been, they can always find that easy rhythm again. One or other of them brings up the topic of the movie, Divya talking about how he got contacted briefly but soon ignored in favour of better prospects. He's in the middle of telling them how he found out who was cast as him when a brunette woman tugs on his elbow, "Oh hey guys, this is my date Erica, Erica--"
"Two tall blonde identical twins, let me guess - you're the Winklevii?" Erica raises an eyebrow and Tyler laughs, his glass shaking at his lips. "I like her already."
Divya rolls his eyes, "Erica, this is Cameron Winklevoss and his brother Tyler." He says, gesturing to the two them.
"Shocking that you thought I would't get that, but okay," she rolls her eyes and waves awkwardly, glass of champagne in hand, "Nice to finally meet you - Divya seems to have endless stories about the two of you." Divya leans in and whispers something in her ear, her laugh is bright and loud.
From there they remove themselves to one of the small tables at the edge of the room, getting up for drinks and in Divya's case, to make phone calls about something or other. Conversation passes pleasantly between them, pausing for the organiser of the event's small speech about ingenuity or some other quality they all apparently possess. The band is in full swing later when Cameron asks, "What was it that made you laugh earlier, when we were introduced?"
She looks confused over the rim of her glass, finishing the last dregs of her gin and tonic, "Oh that? Um, nothing. Just that 'Now you've met guys that row crew.'" He's about to ask her what that's about when he catches Erica rolling her eyes after Mark walks past their table. "Not a fan I take it?" Cameron asks and is rewarded with a huge laugh on her part. Divya and Tyler are at the bar again, getting another round for them all.
"You could say that," she runs a finger around the edge of her empty glass, the friction causing a slight squeak.
"Any reason in particular or another person frustrated at Facebook's stranglehold on the internet?"
"Do you often meet people who are frustrated by that? And no, it's because he's, well, he's my ex."
Cameron can't help but be surprised and he knows it must show on his face by the way she moves to explain, "Long time ago, back in college, before Facebook was even a thing. He was a dick."
"He still is."
Erica shrugs and leans back in her chair, "I hear he's not as bad as he used to be. Eduardo's even talking to him again. Which I guess is saying something. I don't know."
She cuts him off, quizzical eyebrows and a smirk waiting at the edge of her mouth. "Know? Oh yeah. Finds it absolutely hysterical. I think that's a big part of why he dragged me to this thing tonight. Part of me thinks that man will never be over what happened."
This is when Cameron laughs because she can feel the weariness behind what she says and he knows the feelings well, "Tell me about it. Tyler is never going to let it go. Not really."
"And what about you?"
He takes a second, watches Mark move around the room and he can feel it then, that final shift on the matter. He turns back to Erica with a smile, "I'm a big believer in putting things behind me."
Later as they're leaving, he spots Mark talking to what looks like Eduardo Saverin. He remembers what Erica said; if Eduardo can move past it, then well, no-one should hold a grudge.
The movie comes out a year later.
The actor looks nothing like the two of them.
The balance stays intact.