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To Live Is To Die

Chapter Text

There I was, laying with the clothes on in the dirty cold water of the pool at my sister house in a cold day of winter... Don't ask why, I don't even know myself why I did it, but I did it, it's done, it's in the past, so lets move on that, so... A skinny, tall, ginger guy laying at the dirty cold water on a pool, and my little brother outside with me, no he is not in the pool, only I am in the pool, but he is looking for something, don't know what, don't care, but he is asking things, hospital things, crazy shit, but I answer anyways, lets face it, i don't give a shit... Where does he find this stuff?.

Carl: So, how it's like to be crazy? (Yes, I know he asked me that, so fucking frontal)

Me: Like i'm under a white blanket, cottonmouth.

Carl: Does they give you shock therapy?

Me: no

Carl: Have you ever thought about pushing someone into the train tracks when the train is coming?

Me: no

*Finds what he was looking for... (It was a toaster)
Get up in the stairs, start swinging the cable, throws it at the water next to me.

Me: are you trying to give me shock therapy?

Carl: it supposed to be good for you

Me: you got to plugin it first.

After that I took a long nap in the water
I wonder what's next, Teeenage Agnst from my pregnant little sister, or my big sister giving me her annoying lecture, telling blah blah blah...
But that's something for another day, i'm tired, so going to sleep, bye.

Chapter Text

Ian: How come you don't fly?

Mickey: In a plane maybe

Ian: It's not the same

I mean, you could, right?

This world is full of magic and science that's fiction and all that

You could fly

Mickey: Yeah, I could fly

Ian: So, what now? I mean what i do now?

Frank is gone, mom is gone, I'm not scared anymore

And I have all the time of the world...

Should I be a superhero, up up and away

Mickey: And fly on acid... He said letting out a little laugh

I never understood that

He always says that but i don't know

Does any good comes from flying up and away?

Probably is better to just be on the ground

Ian: So maybe should I be a normal person?... Asked out of curiosity

Mickey: What's normal?

Ian: You know... Just being.

Could you do that?

Mickey: No.

Ian: Can I be honest? asked waiting for him to nod

I was waiting for you to tell me...

You'd be like...

Ian, don't be crazy, this life is crazy, go home, live as long as you can.

Mickey: Ian, don't be crazy, this life is crazy, go home, live as long as you can. Said while taking a blunt

Ian: Mickey Milkovich, what i'm going to do? Say while he laugh a little

Mickey: What you want me to say? Said taking another blunt

Ian: After my parents died, Fi didn't told me what to do

Mickey: Really?

Ian: Of course not, she told me what to do all the time, she didn't approved my lifestyle, or you... He does a pause when mickey does that face like saying "really?"

But i never listened to her

So it was almost as she didn't said it

Do you like your life? He ask out of curiosity while taking a blunt

Mickey: Doesn't matter what i like

Ian: Well, do you like to be the kind of person who says
things like "doesn't matter what i like"?

I am because i am, doesn't have to like it, just...

Mickey: Listen Ian, is not what you want to do...

Ian: I want you to tell me what to do.

Mickey: Why?, Why do I matter?

Ian: You matter

Mickey sees him with a warm face

Mickey: What about other people?

You don't want to be them?

Ian: Are you them?

Mickey: I'm not

Ian: I mean, i do what the others do, but i'm not happy

Mickey: I know

Ian: Yeah, you know... He sigh

But what you don't know Mickey, is that I try

I try and i fail, this of being happy

Mickey: You know I never said thank you, that's stupid?

For removing the bullet, Terry, the bar...

For saving me

Thank you Ian

For everything

Ian: Life isn't so long, there's not that much time in it for doing what you don't need to do

Mickey: What I need... He sees Ian doing a sign (a gun)

Okay... Wow, ok...

I can't after what you did for me

I can not do that for someone else, for everyone else

Ian: So i will be a superhero, up up and away

Or y'know that but not... He makes a sign with his hand as flying and points at the rooftop so Mickey "gets it"

Mickey: Hm... First, not in my watch, second i will not let you do that

I won't let you kill you

Ian: Why do I fail?

Why i can't be happy?

Mickey: Because you're off your meds... Ian glares at him

Ian: You know i'm scared, right

Everytime i feel happy something bad happens, so i'm scared and...

If i don't feel scared... If nothing of that scares me... Pointing at his own head

Then i'm insane

And i'm not... I don't want to be insane... He says with glassy eyes

So i'm scared

Mickey: You know it's okay, right?

I mean getting scared, everybody's scared

But that's just like... Everybody gets the opportunity to...

We get to fight that fear...

We have the chance to be brave... He says while getting his arm around Ian neck, getting closer to kiss him in that warm and quiet night of spring with the boys enjoying themselves smoking in the jacuzzi in the moonlight.

Chapter Text

*From the cradle bars
Comes a beckoning voice
It sends you spinning
You have no choice.*

[Hannah ghost cries out]

-Walking towards Bryce house-

[Clay] Why were you in the Clubhouse with him?


[Hannah ghost] When I tried to climb out of the hot tub, you pulled me back in.


[Clay] Tell me, or I'll ask him myself.

(hears a car getting closer)


[Hannah ghost] You told me we were "just having fun."


[Clay] I'll make him hurt. I'll make him understand what he did.


[Hannah ghost] I struggled, but you were too strong for me. You pulled my underwear down and used your body to trap me there.


[Justin] Clay, what are you doing? Where did you get that? (He ask when he sees the gun on clay hand)


[Hannah ghost] You gripped my wrists and pushed yourself inside of me.

(Justin stands between clay and bryce doorway)

[Clay] Get out of my way, Justin.

[Justin] Come on, Clay, this is fucking crazy.

[Hannah ghost] It felt like a knife cutting me open. (Hannah keeps talking, making clay go crazy)

[Clay] No one's gonna get justice for her.

[Justin] Hey, come on. Hey!


[Clay] Move! (Clay Say by pointing the gun at him)


[Hannah ghost] I begged you, "Please, Bryce," but you told me to relax.


[Justin] I talked to Jessica today. She wants me to testify. (Justin say raising his hands on rendition)

[Clay] Bullshit. No, she doesn't.


[Justin] Yes, I swear, she does.


[Hannah ghost] You said you would go "nice and easy," but you went harder and faster.


[Clay] So you'll just run away or fucking overdose again?


[Justin] Clay, come on.


[Hannah ghost] When I cried out in pain, you grabbed my hair, like the sound of my pain made it better for you.


[Clay] I can't count on anyone else anymore. I have to do this myself.


[Justin] You don't have to do this yourself. We can get him tomorrow.


[Clay] I need to do it now.


[Justin] Why?


[Hannah ghost] I just tried to leave my body. I tried to forget the anger and pain.

(Clay tries to fights his tears)

[Clay] For Hannah.


[Justin] Listen, Clay, I know you loved her, but she's gone.
And going in there and hurting Bryce now is not gonna bring her back... She's gone.


[Hannah] If you're lucky, you live a long life, and one day, your body just gives up, and it's over.

(Clay look at Hannah ghost and Justin back and forth and say...)

[Clay] How do I make her stop? She won't stop.


[Justin] Make who stop? Who, Clay? Who are you talking about?

(Justin ask Clay and start to worry even more)

[Hannah ghost] There are two kinds of death.

(Clay looks at Hannah ghost and put the gun on his head, trying to make her stop)

[Justin] Clay!

(he insist)

[Hannah ghost] If you're not lucky, you die a little bit...


[Justin] Clay, come on. (He insist again)

[Hannah ghost] ...over and over, until you realize it's too late.


[Clay sobs]


[Justin] Just stop. Give me the gun.

(Clay sobs again)


(The door starts to open)

(Clay look at bryce)

[Bryce] What the fuck?

(Clay put the gun down)

[Hannah ghost] And in that moment, it felt... it felt like I was already dead.

(Clay look at his hand where the gun is still there)

(Bryce get down the stairs)

[Bryce] The fuck are you two doing?

(Justin makes a sign for bryce to stop still

[Justin] Just hold on.

(Clay looks very nervous and erratic at justin)

[Clay] He's gonna keep doing it. We have to stop him.


[Justin] Not like this.

Bryce looking for his phone)

[Bryce] I'm calling the cops.

(Justin scream at him)

[Justin] Just shut the fuck up and hold on, Bryce!

(Bryce stops)

[Clay] It's never gonna get any better. You were right to run away.

(Clay is shaking)

[Justin] No, I wasn't. That's why you came and got me, remember? For Jess, for Hannah.


[Clay] Hannah wants him dead.


[Justin] No, I don't think she does. I don't think she wants to keep seeing people get hurt. I don't. Okay?

(Justin gets closer, slowly to remove the gun from clay's hand)

[Bryce] This is fucking ridiculous.

(Bryce tries to get inside to call the cops, but is stopped by Justin loading the gun as a warning)

[Justin] You're gonna go back inside and you're gonna pour yourself another glass of whiskey, and you're gonna forget that we were ever here, got it?

(Justin says with a serious tone, not even looking at him as he helps a numb clay get into the car and closing the door)

[Bryce] I heard they just filed for another additional witness.
That wouldn't be you by any chance, would it?

[Bryce] You should be more scared than you are, Justin.

(He says like if everyone should feel scared by his threats)

[Justin] Bryce, I've got nothing left to lose. That makes me the dangerous one.

(Says before going into the car and leave).

*You hear laughter
Cracking through the walls
It sends you spinning
You have no choice.*

Chapter Text

-Jeremiah trying to run away from Jerome and his henchmen-

[Jerome] Hello Brother...

-Jeremiah breaths nerviously-

[Jerome shows up pointing a gun at his brother] How you been? Oh you look great

-Jeremiah jump.a little, gets surrounded by Jerome Henchmen when trying to escape-

[Jerome Laughs] And thinking I was used to be the handsome one

[Jeremiah] How did you find the end of the maze?

[Jerome] Bro, we might not look the same anymore, but we still think the same, plus you used to draw all this stupid things as a kids, I paid attention.

[Jerome] Mad Hatter take crane to find Jim and his bearded side-kick, kill them both

-they do what he commands-

[Jerome] I've been waiting for this moment for 15 years, since you did runaway like a coward in the middle of the night

[Jeremiah] You're insane

[Jerome] Yeah

[Jeremiah] I tried to tell mom, but she wouldn't listen to me, you blame me for everything that's gone wrong in your life.

But the truth is, Jerome... You were born bad.

[Jerome] Born bad, huh? So that's why you made her think that I tried to kill you. - Right?

[Jeremiah] Yeah, we both... 

-Jeremiah jumps a little when he was cut off by his brother words-

[Jerome] What was it again? What was it? I put a blade to your throat. No, no, no, no, no. I tried to - light you on fire.

[Jeremiah] We both know you wanted to!

[Jerome] Yeah, that was a funny story, wasn't it? -jerome says with a sarcastic tone-

[Jeremiah] Okay. Maybe it didn't happen exactly like that, but but I didn't have a choice, and I was right.

[Jerome] Hmm? -jerome claims with sarcasm-

[Jeremiah] You killed our mother.

-jeremiah say trying to sound sad-

[Jerome] She did deserve it though

-jerome laughs-

After that whore hid you away, she gave up on me. Poisoned by your stories.

-jerome angrily points at his twin brother chest with his finger-

You turned everyone I ever loved against me. My own flesh and blood!

-jerome says raising his voice-

Yeah, I guess it's like what they say. We all could go insane with just one bad day. I guess with you, it's more like one bad spray. You'll see.

-jerome laughs-

[Mad Hatter] Listen to what I have to say!

-was interrumped by bullock-

[Bullock] Oh, hell no! You are not hypnotizing me again!

-bullock start running and shouting at scarecrow and mad hatter, fightening them-

[Jim Gordon]  That's one way to do it.

-jim says and runs behind bullock-

[Mad Hatter] Must go, must go, must go, must go!

-mad hatter tells to scarecrow, giving him a clue to start running-

-meanwhile jerome laughs-

[Jeremiah] What are you gonna do to me, Jerome?

-jeremiah ask with fear and curiosity-

[Jerome] Come on. I'm gonna kill you. Of course. But, first, I'm gonna drive you mad. But don't worry, you won't be alone. All of Gotham will be joining you, too.

[Mad Hatter] Must go! Must go! They're after me and the Scarecrow.

-mad hatter says as him and scarecrow pass by running desperately-

[Jerome] These guys just don't give up, huh?

-Bullock yelling while running to where the valeska twin brothers are talking-

[Jerome grabs his twin brother and points it at Jeremiah head] Get any closer and I splatter him. I splatter bro-ski.

-jerome laughs-

[Jim Gordon] No, you won't. If you wanted him dead, you would have killed him already

[Jerome] He's right.

-jerome kisses his twin brother forehead-

I'll see you soon.

-Jerome escape shooting up and laughing like the maniac he is, leaving his twin brother behind with jim and bullock-

Chapter Text

[Ian]: As if you never gone overdose, messed up, walking in the street not knowing what to do, where to go...

-Music starts playing in the back (to create an ambient)-

"What if you did, what if you walk? What if you tried to get off, baby?"

Mick started to freak out, running, looking everywhere, but no sign of him, he was desperate, thought, he had emptied a bottle of pills, he knew he was on overdose and was running out of time.

"Maybe you're crazy in the head, baby
Maybe you did, maybe you walked
Maybe you rocked around the clock
Tick-tock, tick-tock"

[Ian]: it's raining, no, it's not cold in here, luckily it was summer, unluckly my nose was bleeding (it wasn't pretty), i have nothing to stop the blood, my hands stained red, my only hope it's ríp off my shirt, use it as a sort of ninja mask and hopefully stop the nose bleeding, "fuck it" is the only word i could think of...

"Maybe I ride, maybe you walk
Maybe I drive to get off, baby
Maybe you're crazy in the head, baby
Nobody tells you what to do
Nobody tells you where to go, baby."

[Ian]: With no one around, everyone is at that party enjoying life, a party... Which i choose to skip it, get out of there without nobody even noticing, now i'm on my own with the company of my thoughts... "Oh, a beer" -I say as i grab it to drink it-

"Maybe you did, maybe you walk
Maybe you rock around the clock
Tick-tock, tick-tock."

Mick thought in searching at the places they used to go, but there was no sight of him around

"Nobody tells you where to go, baby

[Ian]: He finally found me, a little too late, i was starting to lose consciousness, my eyes were fading away, he does a slide, the pavement is wet, it's raining, no cold, he wet his pants as he touch the ground, he doesn't care, he doesn't even notice that i'm shirtless, only that i've been bleeding, for a piece of shirt i used, to tuck it around my head to stop the nose bleeding, he grab my head with his naked hands, shake me, trying to make me gain consciousness, he success to do that, he sees me looking at him, he smile, I smile then i say his name... Mickey.

Chapter Text

[sooz talking to the viewer].: 'There's 6 thousand million people on this earth and only one that truly understand you and that's you.'

All started with a morning...
(Alarm clock goes off) "I hate mornings" sooz say trying to wake up

At the school break... She found a depressed Alex

"Can't sleep, can't eat, can't watch tv, i listen to the radio and looks like every song is about us"... Alex say while sooz watch him with a (you're pathetic face) before talking to the viewer 'Came to think of it, i hate afternoon too'

"Why he won't talk to me sooz" Alex keep talking

"Sooz?", "are you listening to me?" Alex ask to an uninterested sooz

"Yes, unfortunately" Sooz reply with an annoyed face

"Look Alex, if you're looking for someone to bring the light to your life, you're looking at the wrong person" Sooz tell Alex with an uninterested but honest face

"Why can't he see how much I love him?" Alex ask with a depressive daydreaming expression

"Because the only he can see is you having a grand escape with desperate Dan" Sooz tells Alex

"And come on Alex, it was your own fault, see you later" Sooz say before getting up and leaving the place before she start to digging her own grave to not keep listening Alex past love life troubles

'He got a lot to do with his own rubbish, not dump them in someone else' Sooz tells to The viewer

'Life's like one of those films people tells you to go and see, and after a while you're like... Yeah, so? Nothing happening that I haven't seen before' Sooz keep talking to the viewer

Later that day...

'Normaly I wouldn't come to this sort of things, but Rob has been really sweet and I can't be a party pooper all your life, can you?' Sooz tells to the viewer

After all that mess of a party Sooz and Jamie choose to go out for a walk, have fun, talk about life and mend their broken relationship, just to end up in the train station... To be Continue.

Chapter Text

She sees the train and all memories came back to her.

All started on a cold saturday afternoon when they got out of Rob house, leaving him with a few issues to solve on his own, they decided they weren't so tired so they go for a walk, a walk that ended in a bar to end up chatting about things, which it was like they were talking about themselves in third person, the time passed by very fast, it was already sunday morning, sooz by now feeling a little bit tired, Jamie apologise for had taken her right to use a bed by taking her in a long, long walk, they kinda said the "good bye" both didn't walked away so far from eachother, as she turned away in a very shy way, he was searching if he had some money in his pockets, not enough for a bus ride to home, she only had a pound, that wouldn't take her anywhere, so they decided to keep walking and talking about random stuff to pass the time, till they hit the train station...

"Anyways, if I were god, we wouldn't have any worries, I would be looking up to everybody, if I'm not busy cracking jokes" Jamie say as he snort a laugh He finds sooz a little bit distracted near the train tracks...

"Sooz?" Jamie say... She still standing like a zombie in front of the train tracks.

A memory of being crying another day comes to her mind, she remember herself walking to the train station and standing very closer to the end of the station floor, like wanting to jump in front of the train tracks, but standing still instead, but very closer to the train who was coming faster in the distance.

"Sooz?" Jamie reply.

She still distracted, thinking about what she could have done that other day.
Thinking about the train getting closer and closer, she trying to get closer to the train tracks at the same time, and of course she wasn't thinking straight at that time.

All of sudden Jamie didn't had a better idea than grab her by her hips making her come out of her trance and jumping scared, only to turn and see her boyfriend as she start to hit him as she scream at his face in rage...

"What are you doing? you stupid idiot" She said.

"Is just a joke" he reply

"Well, would you like if I do that to you?" She replied angry.

"everything is just a joke to you" she keep saying

"Sooz, I'm sorry" Jamie said.

"How you could be so insensitive" Sooz reply as she walk away from him

Jamie knew that what he did was pretty damn wrong as he see her walking away, he started walking towards her, hoping to catch her before she disappear.

"I didn't think, I mean I forgot" Jamie says

"Stop following me" sooz reply as start walking in another direction

"So stop walking away of me then sooz" Jamie reply

Sooz remember that one time they fought and she had told him 'excuse me for living' she had that moment of her life in her mind.

"What happened?" he ask her,

"You know what happened" she reply as she remember another bit of her encounter with the train

"I don't know" he replied... "nothing happened" she say... "tell me" he reply... "you wouldn't understand" she say as she walks away from him now faster than before

"Please sooz, I need to know, we never talk about this" he say... "it wouldn't mean anything" she reply

"It's finish, it's over, it's in the past" she keeps saying with broken voice

"So, why can't you tell me?" he ask her looking for answers

"I didn't wanted to go on being who am I ok" she storms out of his way faster than before now.

he walks faster to reach at where she is going and he say "There is nothing wrong with the way you are"

"No, I'm a perfect specimen" she say in a low sarcastic voice as she keep walking away from him

"I think so" jamie reply

"Jamie, that's the problem, I don't want to feel that way" she scream as she turnaround facing jamie

All of sudden Jamie stops, fighting to himself to say what he trully thinks about her

"Wake up sooz" he says loud, as she stop walking

"how you think I would feel if you" he cut himself before say THE WORD... "well. If I ever could of" he say without saying 'lose you' but giving her the clue

Sooz turn around to meet his face, "a few days, or maybe weeks and then you will forget I ever existed" she says with a serious low tone.

as she start walking again from her boyfriend as he screams... "HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID?"

"ALL I DO IS MAKE YOU MISERABLE" she scream, "YOU MAKE ME HAPPY" he reply screaming too. "God" he sigh as he walks towards her trying to hug her and she ignores him

"Don't... Touch, me" she says with a broken voice "if you want someone to touch, then go back to nicky" she reply

"SOOZ, OK i'M SORRY, I WONT TOUCH YOU" he scream as he get closer to her who already started escaping from him

he reach to where she is and walk in front of her blocking her way out

"I know I'm a prat, all I wanna do is make you smile" he says now with a calm voice

"I just want you to be the way you are when we are having fun" he reply

"I can't, I know how you want me to be, jamie, I can't be like that" she says as she turns away from his face

"Doesn't matter, it doesn't" he reply

"I love you" he say as sooz turns around again to not meet his face as she start crying with her hands on her face

"You are alright?" he ask concerned... "I got a fly in my eye" she lies

"Yeah, there is a plage coming from france, from all europe if i'm not wrong" he says as she start laughing when she hear what his idiot boyfriend just said.

""Sorry" he say "Didn't get on it" he reply

"You should find yourself another girlfriend jamie" sooz say as jamie walks to be in front of her. "one that is not so screwed up" she keep saying now with calm in her voice

"We are all screwed up" jamie says, "you don't know" she reply, "maybe that's why we get on" he say

"We are ying and yang?" he say as they put their forehead together as a sign of 'we are screwed up, but we are screwed up together' and their eyes meet eachpther as a little smile in eachother faces.

lately that day sooz finally in her home after had a whole day with her boyfriend, in her own bed all alone with her laptop, she sigh and think to herself... "How can he feel that way about me?" she ask herself... "I don't even feel that way about myself" and then she turn off her laptop and fall asleep.





Chapter Text

[narrator voice]: I heard the key on the front door, even with the loud music on, i still could hear him arriving, first words he say...

[Mickey]: "Hello, I'm home, I brought you some food, Chicken... Huh?" said leaving the bags in the table of their kitchen.

You could hear the depressing music out loud...

"Sometimes I feel so worthless
Sometimes I feel discarded
I wish that I was good enough

Then I'd know that I am not alone"

Mickey go to check Ian in their room, stepping out in the door realising he wasn't there... Then he see light coming out down the bathroom door, he walks towards and open it up, let's say he wasn't too happy to see that...

(Music still sounding in the background...)

"Death is the stereo
Death is a TV
Death is the Tarot
Death is an angel and
Death is our God, killing us all"

He was laying in the batroom floor, overdosed, with razor blades laying next to him

[Mickey]: "ian talk to me..."


[Ian]: "Go away" (whispered)

[Mickey]: What?

[Ian]: Let me alone (said high enough to break mickey's heart)

What i see next was Mickey bending over to pick ian up and carry him to the bed, trying his best to dress me up, to carry me up again, take me to the car and end up draving to the clinic to get a refill after i took them all up

As always, he had to lie to the doc, saying i flushed them all instead of the truth, which was way worst...

The doc suggested to keep an eye on me, so i don't do it again, which he thought it was a pretty good idea, all i could think was, oh god, i will have him breathing on my neck all day because of what I've done...

I literally want to die now, don't worry... It's in my plans after all, an advice... If you ever want to kill yourself again, try harder drugs or a knife, someday, maybe i will, and who knows, maybe that day i will be free.

Chapter Text


They were fighting

[Ian]: "Look me in the eyes, say that again"

Mickey was tired of Ian, his never ending drug party and sex with strangers was one thing he couldn't take, and less if that happened in their own home whenever mickey said no because he was too busy working to have sex multiple times or whenever ian wanted, it could be at the middle of the night, or in a public place or at the party of one of the siblings of ian, he didn't knew when to stop, that turned into a rutine and he couldn't keep up, some others days he would be pissed and not wanting to get off the bed, everytime mickey reminded ian that he has to take the pills, he would get angry and either fight or not talk to him at all, some times mickey would win and ian would end up taking the damn pills, other times he would leave the house with the meds on hand and just open the jar and throw them on the street, you would never know how his reaction could be, but this time, this time they were fighting...

Mickey would see Ian screaming and pointing at him, telling him a few bad things and he would have flashbacks of the endless times he had to save ian's life or just remwmbering those wild moments when he didn't knew what was happening with Ian at that moment of life

🎶Take me to your chest, and let me in
Give me mouth-to-mouth, and make amends
Knock me off my feet like heroin🎶

Mickey remembers that time when ian told them they were off, that time when he told him to take his meds and ian would say something like, "is not my bipolarity, it's me" thing and then recognizing they were breaking up

🎶No need to disguise or to pretend
Don't misconstrue and don't misapprehend
There's nothing left, no fortress to defend
And tonight's the night that we begin the end🎶

He could feel like it was happening all again, but this time it would be him who would take the first step and not ian, he would be the one doing the breaking up

🎶You and I kept looking to transcend
The fact that I was breaking to your bend
But this is now and, sadly, that was then
And tonight's the night that we begin the end🎶

Ian started throwing books and stuff at mickey to make him react, he was search for a reaction, because ian would give him head and mickey was so tired that he couldn't even get interested in sex anymore, Ian was too excited, too anxious and everytime mickey wasn't, he would get angry and start a fight, first was he screaming and pointing at mickey, then it will be him pushing and slaping mickey searching for a reaction, then he would break things on the kitchen because mickey couldn't care anything anymore, then he would start throwing things at him, pillows, dildos, books, things to get him to react, without knocking him out, just because of that, that he wouldn't throw heavy things at him, he just wanted mickey back, the old mickey, the one who was more savage, not this light version of a mickey that couldn't satisfice ian sexual needs, so he would get strange people from time to time and that's why they were fighting today, because ian got a completely stranger to the house when mickey was buying food for them two, he would get back at home and see ian naked in the couch and an older guy getting off the batroom, and mickey saying "the fuck are you doing in my home, get the fuck outta here or i will" and the old guy would pick up his clothes and leave the house running and mickey kicking his butt in the way out, then looking at ian with a "what the fuck" face while ian was putting on his undies, getting ready to fight and scream one more time, because that's all what they were doing lately, mickey would notice some tiny bags, too tiny and familiar, ian and the stranger would start the day by taking coke...

[Ian]: " It didn't happened much"

[Mickey]: "Oh really, You fucking and taking coke with a stranger is not happening much?"

[Ian]: "We didn't had sex, he sucked me off, that's all, i wasn't hard enough and he was a bottom so highly hard to get him to fuck me"

[Mickey]: "And you did coke"

[Ian]: "Well, yeah" said giving mickey a sign of rendition, but was too late, if ian was wanting a reaction from him, now he had it

[Mickey]: "And i guess i have to be happy for that and understand you because you are off your meds? You would not take them for yourself, for your family or for me, but you would do coke with a stranger, but you wouldn't take your meds that are supposed to do good to you" mickey sees ian with a sad or disappointed expression 

[Ian]:  "And I tried, God knows, I tried, i really mean it, but i can't, they make me feel like a zombie, no emotions at all, i can take it"

[Mickey]: "And coke doesn't make feel like a zombie?" again mickey with the disappointed expression on his face

 [Ian]: "Looks like the only thing you are looking for it's a zombie boyfriend"

[Mickey]: "We are engaged, that party you runaway the last time, the one where i found you bleeding in the street, was our engagement party"

[Ian]: "I'm sorry, but there's nothing you can do to change my mind"

[Mickey]: "I don't enjoy to watch you crumble and i  don't enjoy to watch you crying, so take your meds, we can fix this or else i'm leaving"

🎶Blame me for the sorry state you're in
It's not my fault if you can't comprehend
That tonight's the night that we begin the end🎶

[Ian]: "Look me in the eye, say that again".

Chapter Text

*Check the fridge,
check cabinet,
check cabinet again*

[Lip]: You okay, man?

[Ian]: I'm fine

[Lip]: It's just you opened the same cabinet like three times 

[Ian]: I'm thirsthy

[Lip]: Alright ,so you just try the fridge, second shelf

*Ian gives him an annoying face*

[Lip]: So what happened?

[Ian]: I fought with mickey, because i'm manic

[Lip]: Okay, forget it

[Ian]: No you don't...

[Lip]: What i don't get? How shitty gallaghers genes are? *ian watches still annoyedI have to set a timer everytime i want a beer, frank's genes might not be quite bad as monica...

[Ian]: If i'm honest, they suck

[Lip]: Yeah, yeah man, they fucking do.

[Ian]: I haven't slept in a couple of nights, it's not because mickey been texting, i don't feel manic, but i never feel it when i'm manic, i just feel fine or great, so obviously i'm not because i did something crazy *sigh in disbelief*

[Lip]: *puts on a worried face* When you feel like your meds might be like out of balance, what are you supposed to do?

[Ian] *moves to take his meds off the pockets pants* On my downers, slep it off, see the shrink as soon as possible *sais as he shows the little plastic bottle of pills to his big brother lip and sigh*

[Lip]: Right, then you do that *keeps on with the worried face"

[Ian]: But i don't want to


*And they knew everything wasn't going to the same anymore*



Chapter Text

[Clay]:We have some things to talk about...

[Justin]: Yes?

[Clay]: Yeah, there are.

[Justin]: Okay,What What things?

[Clay]: So um [CLEARS THROAT]
I think my mom explained to you
how she got you released into emergency custody.

[Justin]: Yeah she explained it.

[Clay]: The thing is that's only temporary. And because you're not 18 for almost a year, once that expires, you become a ward of the state.

[Justin]: Yeah, the the social worker told me about that.

[Clay]: Ok yeah and there's only two group homes in this county you'd be eligible for, and you couldn't finish school at Liberty and stuff. And my parents I mean, me and my parents wanted to see if you might want them to adopt you.

[Justin]: Wait, what?

[Clay]: Like adopt you into our family.

[Justin]: You mean, like, I'd be your brother?

[Clay]: Well I'm-I'm not familiar with all the lingo, but.

[Justin]: Wait, why are you asking me and not them?

[Clay]: Because it was their idea, to be honest, and at first, I thought it sounded, um idiotic, and they left it up to me, seeing as I was the person who brought you in their life in the first place..  And maybe it's a good idea, so...


[Clay]: Are you - Are you crying?

[Justin]: You know I'm, like, really fucked up, right?

[Clay]: Well...A, yes. - [LAUGHS] - But you're clean and going to meetings. And B, I'm also fucked up in certain ways, so...

[Justin]: Okay, yeah... I'd like to be adopted, yeah. 

[Clay]: Okay, cool.

[JUSTIN SIGHS]: You gonna go to this dance?

[Clay]: What the Spring Fling thing? Why in the world would I go to that?

[Justin]: I don't know. It It might be fun?

[Clay]: I don't go to dances. You can go.

[Justin]: No, I just thought that it'd be my first thing back and I could show people that I'm not, like, hiding or whatever. [CLICKS TONGUE] Forget it.

[Clay]: Fuck. Fine.
[SCOFFS] We'll go


- Later that day-

[Clay]: Now bring that around to the right. No, no, no, the big end. - The big end.

[Justin]: That's what I'm doing.

[Clay]: That's not what you're doing. Oh, my God, start over. 

[JUSTIN SCOFFS] Would you fucking relax? -

[Clay]: You don't listen!

 [Justin]: You're so uptight.

[Clay]: I am not uptight. It was your idea that we should wear ties. It's not even a formal dance. And if you wanna wear a tie, you should follow my instructions.

[Justin]: We really need to get you laid.

[Clay]: Shut up. Start over.

[Justin]: Seriously Jensen.
Okay? You help me tie a tie, I will help you get laid.

[Clay]: I don't need your help.

[Justin]: I know.
I was just I was just saying.

[Clay]: I mean you've had, like, a lot of sex, haven't you?

[Justin]: Yeah I've, I've had a good amount.

-Clay is not surprised-

To be continue...

Chapter Text

"Lights will guide you home 
And ignite your bones 
And I will try to fix you"

[Frank]: I got up and sang a top notch version of that at Manny Holden's pre-trial party.
We'd been on mushrooms his twisted wife had brewed up for us just twatted, totally twatted I couldn't believe my eyes when they played that tape at his wake when he copped-out at Strangeways.

[Carl]: Dad

[Frank]: Hang on. A) I can't remember a thing about that night with the mushrooms, Manny and the singing.
Not just as in normal "can't" like waking up in Fallowfield between that fat, black, spotty bird and her mam.
I mean There on stage like belting Fix You out which still scares me shitless because, B) I couldn't sing it sober if I tried.
I didn't think I was capable.

[Carl]: If it was you and I've to hear it from anyone else, that'd be us finished.
You know that, don't you?

[FRANK REMOVING HIS SHIRT]: And I haven't a fucking clue where I got these.


[Frank]: What we gonna do with me, Carl?

[Carl]: If they've to come and fetch you, there's three years' difference.

[Frank]: Out of how many?

[Carl]: Says five to seven on the web.

[Frank Cries]: Jesus wept! I can't.
I can't, I can't! I can't do time again, Carl.
Not at my age.
Nobody leaves you alone It'll crucify me.

[Carl]: In all seriousness, I reckon your ass is fine smelling like that.

[Frank]: Fuck my ass, we've all sold asses! But nowadays it's random drug tests so you can't take a piss without literally grassing yourself up.
What else is there?


[Carl]: Come on, Dad.
Come on.
I'm coming with you.

[A few moments later]

[Frank]: I'm here to hand myself in.

To be continue...

Chapter Text

[Barry]: Hey, I need your help. -

 [Joe]: That's blunt. -

[Barry]: Yeah, so Nora, isn't really spending any time with Iris. So she's kind of with me all the time, you know? And I've been training her a lot by myself and I just. Don't. Get it. I mean, it's like She keeps taking things on that she can't handle yet. It's like she wants to go big for big sake and I try to walk her back, but it's like she's not listening to what I'm teaching her, you know? It's actually that she hears the opposite of what I'm saying. Why are you nodding? Are you agreeing with me?

[Joe]: Do you remember your 4th grade science fair?

[Barry]: Yeah, but what does that have to do with this?

[Joe]: All you had to do is make a baking soda volcano. - And what did you do? I You built a robot with wheels, pretty much set the gym on fire.

[Barry]: Almost got Mrs. Dumas too. - But that was different. -

[Joe]: How so? 

[Barry]: It was the first year you took me in. I mean, you took me when I had no one. I looked up to you. I mean, you were my hero. I I really wanted to impress you.

[Joe]: Bar, all the information this girl has on you comes from that museum. There're literally statues of you on pedestals. How do you think she wants to impress her hero? S

[Barry]: what do I do?

[Joe]: Well, show her it's okay not to be perfect coming out of the gate. There's no shortcuts. Takes time to get things right and that's not a failure. That's life. And also show her that no matter what you're always gonna love her. That's what parents do.

[Barry]: Yeah. - Yeah, thanks, Joe.

[Joe]: Mm.

[Barry]: See you later.