-Wednesday, November 9th-
[9:34] I swear to Christ, Pansy. You better not have borrowed my navy shirt again.
[9:34] I don’t have your navy shirt.
[9:36] I can’t find it anywhere and it’s not in my closet. I’m going to be late to this interview because of you.
[9:37] I don’t have your navy shirt because I’m not Pansy.
[9:37] This better not be a joke
[9:39] Not a joke
[9:40] If I miss my interview because I can’t find my shirt, I will actually come to your house without it and murder you
[9:41] Gonna go out on a limb here and assume this Pansy person is a girl? I’m definitely not a girl, mate.
[9:42] oh shit
[9:42] shit wrong number oh my god
[9:45] Pansy tell me this is your number
[9:47] This is my number Draco, has been for the last five years, why?
[9:50] I just threatened to kill a stranger
[9:50] I thought your interview was this morning. Where did you find the time to threaten murder?
[9:51] I thought it was you
[9:52] No, I thought it was your number
[9:53] It’s this stupid new phone. The damn keys are tiny. I knew I should have stuck with an Android.
[9:53] Okay this is hilarious
[9:55] You are cruel and I am late.
[13:15] How did your interview go?
[13:27] Are you serious?
[13:29] What’s it to you?
[13:30] You got something against people being polite?
[13:30] Yes, actually.
[13:31] Explains why you threatened to kill me
[13:33] In my defence, I thought you were someone else
[13:36] I'm going to forgive you on the account of you being clearly stressed about your interview
[13:37] I neither want nor require your forgiveness
[13:40] Whatever, mate. Was just trying to be nice. My lunch break is over now. Have a nice life
[22:57] I didn't get the job
-Thursday, November 10th-
[6:36] Sorry to hear that.
[6:37] what was the job?
[10:00] Stripper was far more exciting
[10:05] Well excuse me. I'm sure your job is far more fascinating.
[11:37] I actually just met a stripper who injured her hip falling off her pole.
[11:38] I thought of you
[11:41] also, stop texting me
[11:59] Stop replying
[13:25] Disregard that last statement, I take it back
[13:37] Why are you obsessed with me?
[13:38] Did you…
[13:38] Did you just quote Mean Girls at me?
[13:42] … You weren't supposed to catch that
[13:43] I want you to know that I've saved your number in my phone under Regina George
[13:43] Why the fuck did you save my number to begin with?
[13:44] Because despite your bitchy moments, I weirdly enjoy texting you
[13:45] You must have no friends.
[13:45] Some dude keeps texting me
[13:50] Good, you're long overdue a new man
[13:51] have you never heard of stranger danger?!
[ 13:55] If you're that concerned about it, don't reply
[13:56] I would but I technically started this conversation and it seems rude
[14:00] Wait… is this that wrong number from the other day?
[14:07] No comment
[14:15] oh for god sake Draco, if you're going to talk to strangers, get Tinder like a normal person!!
[19:13] I have plenty of friends
[19:13] So many friends, in fact.
[19:22] Who are you trying to convince, me or yourself?
[19:23] Bitchy moments, everywhere.
[19:24] What can I say? I'm a bit of a dick
[19:25] A bit???
[19:26] Yes. A bit.
[19:29] You told me you would murder me
[19:30] Have you ever seen the movie ‘Frozen’ ? Because you need to fucking let it go.
[19:32] Told you.
[19:58] So I'm curious
[19:58] What am I under in your phone?
[20:00] Who said you were in my phone to begin with?
[20:00] Fair enough, I suppose
[20:41] If you really must know, you're under “Not Pansy”, but in all caps
[20:50] You could just save me under my actual name, you know
[21:05] True, but I don't currently care enough to know it.
[21:06] You're vicious. Has anyone ever told you that?
[21:08] Everyone I know
[21:08] At least twice.
[21:10] I kinda like it.
[21:12] Are you flirting with me?
[21:14] Are you objecting to me flirting with you?
[21:16] Most ardently.
[21:19] Fair enough.
-Friday, November 11th-
[08:24] So my co-worker thinks I should stop texting you because I don't know who you are and you could be a murderer or a pervert or, worse, a child.
[08:24] You're not a child, are you???
[09:16] Tell me, how many child accountants do you know?
[09:17] Oh yeah…
[09:24] I told her this and she still thinks I should stop
[09:35] Perhaps she's right
[09:36] Wanna know what I think?
[09:40] Not especially
[09:41] I should have seen that coming
[9:43] Yes, you should have.
[9:46] It’s been three days since we started talking
[9:48] You sound entirely too pleased with this.
[10:23] I actually am?
[10:23] Is it weird that I consider you a friend?
[10:58] Okay. Why?
[11:13] As your friend rightly pointed out, you know nothing about me.
[11:15] I have a fair sense of what you’re like as a person
[11:41] What’s my name?
[11:41] What’s my gender?
[11:42] How old am I?
[11:47] -screenshot sent-
[11:50] aww Draco you made a friend
[11:51] STOP AVOIDING THIS MAN’S FRIENDSHIP
[19:35] I think you’re male, just an impression, I may be wrong, but I’m nearly certain
[19:36] You will not tell me your name or let me tell you mine. I’m going to guess this goes for age as well but I feel like we’re roughly the same age
[19:40] I’ll allow age
[19:41] I’m 26
[20:00] I wasn’t wrong then
[20:00] See? This whole exchange of information thing isn’t so hard!
[20:04] I feel like you’re the kind of person who has zero regard for your own safety
[20:05] You know me so well :)
[20:06] Also, I have an idea
[20:10] Uh oh
[20:11] We should play the question game
[20:12] And what, pray tell, does that entail?
[20:13] Answer a question, ask a question.
[20:15] I see
[20:16] Since I’m such a great guy, I’ll even let you go first
[20:19] How did you meet that stripper???
[20:22] Work. I’m a physiotherapist. What's your favourite colour?
[20:23] Green. Dark green. None of this neon or spring leaves bullshit. Basic ass question, by the way.
[20:24] Go on, then. Wow me with with your next question then. Shock me with your question prowess.
[20:26] What's your favourite documentary topic?
[20:28] Serial killers
[20:29] “It was at that moment that Draco’s alarm bells began ringing and he realised he had made a massive mistake”
[20:30] So your name is Draco!
[20:35] balls. I fucked up.
[20:36] Since you broke the rule first, I'm Harry
[20:37] He ruined it
[20:41] You need to learn to start your stories at the beginning
[20:42] He told me his name.
[20:46] I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW HIS NAME
[20:46] He’s ruined it.
[20:53] And why, exactly, does this ruin it?
[20: 54] Because now we’re like … friends or whatever
[20:57] Good. You need more friends
[22:43] I think I ruined it
[22:43] Have I ruined it?
[22:49] Little bit.
[22:50] Can I take it back?
[22:51] I know your name now, Harry. I can’t unlearn it.
[22:53] I like that
[22:54] Like what, exactly?
[22:55] You calling me by my name
[22:57] That's weird, isn't it?
-Saturday, November 12th-
[6:51] Shit I fell asleep while I was trying to flirt with you!
[7:45] I've already told you to stop doing that
[8:23] I know but I enjoy it?
[8:24] Why is that a question?
[8:26] Because I feel like I shouldn't?
[8:29] Are you purposely abusing punctuation now?
[8:45] Pansy help me
[8:50] You have exactly the length of this Starbucks line to be a whiny little bitch and after that, I'm going to work.
[8:51] Firstly, rude, secondly, how dare you.
[8:52] He keeps flirting with me!
[8:52] That is the opposite of a problem
[8:53] THIS IS THE EXACT DEFINITION OF A PROBLEM
[8:54] Stories, Draco. Beginning, middle, end. Linear fashion.
[8:55] What sort of crazy weirdo starts getting attached to someone they've never met after four days?!
[8:56] Uh, you?
[8:56] Oh God
[8:57] Pansy help me
[8:57] Pansy no
[8:58] Oops, coffee’s here. Ttyl. Byeeee
[8:59] PANSY NO WAIT
[9:05] I hate you.
[10:21] Do the attempts at flirting really bother you?
[10:21] If it does, I'll stop
[10:22] I suppose not
[10:23] That was not convincing
[10:24] I don't really know how I feel about it
[10:25] That's okay
[10:25] It is?
[10:26] Yeah. I'll stop
[10:29] I didn't say that
[10:32] what does this mean?
[10:33] I’m leaving now.
[10:33] no wait I wanted to try flirt with you some more!
[13:44] So, why do you try to flirt with me, exactly?
[13:45] I mean, you still don’t know me
[13:55] That can be remedied!
[13:55] Except, my lunch break is over so can it be remedied after 5?
[17:00] It’s after five! It’s time to learn everything there is to know about Harry Potter, my friend!
[17:03] Hold up
[17:03] Your name is Harry Potter?
[17:04] um… yes?
[17:05] That is the most generic-sounding name there ever was
[17:05] You may as well be called John Smith
[17:07] Thanks, Draco. We can’t all have unique, special snowflake names like yours, some of us had boring, unoriginal parents. I bet even your surname is obscure.
[17:10] It is, isn’t it? Go on then
[17:12] Of course it is.
[17:13] And it’s not obscure, it’s French.
[17:14] Same difference
[17:15] If I’m John Smith, does that make you Pocahontas?
[17:16] do not
[17:17] No Disney related flirting?
[17:18] Absolutely none
[17:20] Got it. Anyway, it’s time you got to know me!
[17:21] I am braced in anticipation
[17:22] Your snark is relentless
[17:22] You know it.
[17:23] Can’t we just play that question game again?
[17:24] Yeah, that’s actually a lot easier
[17:25] Cats or dogs?
[17:26] Cats. Dogs are too needy. Plus my cat wouldn’t be happy with me if I said anything else. Since you asked mine, favourite colour?
[17:28] Red. What’s your cat’s name?
[17:32] -image sent-
[17:34] THAT IS THE MOST REGAL FELINE I’VE EVER SEEN
[17:35] I’ll tell him you said so. Favourite movie?
[17:37] You did not just say that.
[17:37] I did?
[17:40] You say that a lot, don’t you?
[17:41] Around you? Yes.
[17:42] Ouch. Anyway, my turn for a question.
[17:43] Favourite food?
[17:44] Pasta. What’s your most obscure skill?
[17:45] Pasta? Any specific kind?
[17:46] All the kinds. Pasta is amazing.
[17:49] I can dislocate my shoulder, that’s pretty obscure, right?
[17:50] And gross, yes.
[17:51] What’s yours?
[17:52] Ballet, probably.
[17:55] A ballet dancing accountant? You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?
[17:56] I guess you’ll just have to stick around and find out.
[17:57] DID YOU JUST FLIRT WITH ME?!
[17:58] I am bad at this.
[17:59] No way. That was smooth as hell!
[18:00] It was?
[18:03] Heck yeah. I am jealous.
[18:05] You sound surprised
[18:06] Yeah, this isn’t really something I do.
[18:06] This being…?
[18:07] Flirting, mostly.
[18:08] That I don’t believe.
[18:10] My encounters tend to only last a night.
[18:11] Oh. Right. And can I ask which gender these encounters are with?
[18:15] I fuck men. If that’s what you’re asking.
[18:16] It is, yeah. Good to know.
[18:17] I mean I do too. Not exclusively.
[18:18] I’m bi.
[18:18] There was probably a less awkward way to say that.
[18:20] Good to know.
[18:21] So what's your favourite documentary topic then?
[18:24] I'll pretty much watch anything about the ocean.
[18:26] The deep sea, like outer space, can fuck right off
[18:27] Okay. Why?
[18:28] That shit is terrifying. There are too many undiscovered ways to die.
[18:29] Not coming to Mars then?
[18:30] Mars can fuck off too.
[18:34] I have finally stopped laughing
[18:35] Cheers. I hate to do this, since I started all this, but a mate is dragging me out to drinks D: I gotta disappear for a bit
[18:38] No worries.
[18:40] You sure?
[18:41] We both have lives, Harry. Go live it. Stop talking to strangers.
[18:42] But you’re not a stranger anymore
[18:43] Go, or I’ll become one again.
[2:34] U know what ur problem is, dragon?
[2:35] Your too guarded
[2:37] u need to open ur - heart emoji - and let me in
[2:40] Y wont u let me in
-Sunday, November 13th-
[12:19] There hasn’t been a word invented yet to describe how embarrassed and apologetic I am right now
[15:24] I totally get it if you’re not talking to me now.
[17:44] Or like ever…
-Monday, November 14th-
[8:20] Leave my heart emoji out of this
[8:21] And never text me past midnight again.
[8:25] You’re back!
[8:25] I’m so sorry about that. I’m so embarrassed. I’m still hungover
[8:36] It’s been two days
[8:37] It was bad…
[8:40]... How bad?
[8:41] My best friend found me sitting next to a statue, crying, as I told it all my problems.
[8:45] Oh wow. How deep is your shame pit right now?
[8:47] Seven feet.
[8:50] No, this is definitely an eight-footer.
[8:55] You’re right. I’ll resume digging.
[8:57] Anyway, how are you?
[9:03] Way better than you, it seems.
[9:05] There are dead bodies who feel better than me right now.
[9:07] That was surprisingly morbid, coming from you.
[9:09] You must be rubbing off on me.
[9:11] It’s taking all my restraint not to make a sexual comment.
[9:12] That’s my favourite kind of comment.
[9:13] I’m not even surprised.
[9:14] I’m a simple guy.
[9:15] Simple is definitely the word I’d use to describe you.
[9:17] I think I’m offended.
[9:20] And I think I don’t care.
[9:21] Pity me, Draco, I am wounded!
[9:22] Go back to sleep then.
[9:24] Yeah that’s probably a good idea. I thank you for your wisdom, O Caustic One!
[11:45] So I have a question
[13:32] Can it wait another five minutes? I just woke up from a nap and have no concept of my current location in either time or space.
[13:33] Why? Did you fall asleep in the Tardis or something?
[13:34] Draco Malfoy! Are you a secret nerd?!?!
[13:35] Can I ask my question now or what?
[13:35] Go ahead… secret nerd.
[13:37] What were you talking to the statue about?
[13:38] Are you asking why I was crying?
[13:39] Suppose I am.
[13:44] Well firstly, I was drunk. Secondly, I was just overwhelmed. I started talking about my problems and just couldn’t stop.
[13:46] And what are those problems?
[13:50] Mainly? That I’m lonely.
[13:51] I knew it! Ten points to me!
[13:53] It still amazes me how, this far into our friendship, I still get surprised when you’re a bitch.
[13:55] Don’t use that word.
[13:56] No, ‘friendship’
[13:58] Oh… I think we’re friends. Aren’t we?
[14:00] I mean, yes, of course we are.
[14:10] It’s just weird to me. I’ve never met you. I only have one friend and we’ve been friends since birth. Literally, our mothers were in labour together. I’ve never been good at making friends. I don’t know how to do it.
[14:11] Don’t worry. You’re doing a great job :)
[14:16] Hmh. Speaking of jobs actually, I’m going to be in a meeting all evening so I won’t be around to talk. I’ll text you later though.
[14:19] No worries. I actually meant to ask about that. I know you had that interview, but I didn’t know if you were still working or what, and didn’t want to raise a potentially sensitive issue or anything.
[14:20] What do you do anyway?
[14:21] Freelance work, nothing all that interesting. But I’m meeting with a company today, so I’ll be out all day.
[14:22] Sure thing. Talk to you later!
-Wednesday, November 16th-
[13:43] Hey, just checking in. You okay?
-Thursday, November 17th-
[14:11] Pansy, I need help
[14:13] I’m not in a good place and as a result, I’ve sort of not text Harry in like three days. And then he sent a check-in text and I ignored it.
[14:14] I’m awful, aren’t I?
[14:15] No, Draco. You aren’t awful at all. You need the time to yourself. If Harry is your friend, he’ll understand.
[14:16] That’s the thing. I want to talk to him about it but I’m aware of the fact that this isn’t a normal friendship at all
[14:17] Do you feel like he is your friend?
[14:18] I mean, yeah. I do.
[14:19] Then he is your friend and that’s all there is to it.
-Friday, November 18th-
[10:04] Draco hasn’t text me all week :(
[10:13] He’s a stranger, Harry. He doesn’t have to.
[10:14] He’s not a stranger, we’re friends now.
[10:16] If you say so.
[10:55] I Googled him.
[10:55] NO NO NO NO
[10:56] WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?!
[11:00] Relax. I didn’t find all that much. He has no social media, so it was pretty limited.
[11:10] Well, don’t you want to know what I found?
[11:11] Of course I do.
[11:32] Provided he’s the same- and, I presume, only- Draco Malfoy around, that would make him the son of Lucius Malfoy, that wealthy property mogul who’s all over the news. I also found this, a video of Draco dancing at the Royal Ballet School about three years ago.
[11:33] -video sent-
[17:48] Sorry I never text you back. Thing is, I lied about my work. I do freelance with my father’s company but working with him always puts me in a bad mood. Sometimes, it just takes me a bit longer to calm down.
[17:52] Oh shit. Feeling any better now?
[17:55] I feel I’m about to ruin that.
[17:56] I have to confess something.
[17:58] You have exactly five minutes before my anxiety makes me leave.
[18:00] My co-worker Googled you and found a video of you dancing.
[18:00] It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful. I can’t stop watching you.
[22:12] I really shouldn’t have said that
-Saturday, November 19th-
[10:23] I wish Hermione never sent me that video.
-Sunday, November 20th-
[12:10] I want you to know that I wasn’t comfortable with the fact that you knew what I looked like.
[12:11] It went against the rules I set myself.
[12:29] I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I never intended that. Maybe I can make it even.
[12:31] -image sent-
[12:42] THERE HAS BEEN A DEVELOPMENT
[12:44] After he saw that video of you?
[12:44] You’re talking to him again?
[12:52] -image sent-
[12:54] He is completely gorgeous.
[12:55] He is completely gorgeous!
[12:57] You have to send one back. It’s etiquette.
[14:45] -image sent-
[14:47] Oh Lord.
[14:49] You’re even more beautiful now.
[14:50] Like how is that possible?
[14:52] It’s the lack of sweaty dance hair.
[14:56] You’re pretty fit yourself.
[14:58] Wow. I’m actually blushing.
-Monday, November 21th-
[09:32] Everyone in my office agrees that you’re beautiful.
[10:19] I repeat: ugh.
[10:20] Don’t like being called beautiful?
[10:21] Don’t be foolish. I’m just not sure I like what it implies.
[10:22] What does it imply?
[10:31] That you might be into me.
-Tuesday, November 22nd-
[15:27] You’re right.
[15:28] I think I’m into you.
[15:28] Is this a problem?
[15:59] Well, shit.
-Friday, November 25th-
[03:00] I’m worried, Harry.
[03:03] I’m worried that we will develop feelings for each other and discover that nothing will ever come of it.
[03:04] I can’t go through that.
[03:04] I can’t let myself get hurt like that.
[03:05] That’s why we can’t ever tell each other where we live.
[03:06] I have to protect myself. I’m sorry.
[09:35] I understand. I’m not thrilled about it, but I get it. I would never hurt you, Draco, not on purpose.
[10:49] Don’t you think that it’s weird?
[10:49] All of this?
[10:50] I mean, it’s kinda bizarre that you like me
[11:23] Of course I like you. Or else I wouldn’t still be talking to you for… however long it's been.
[11:25] Sixteen days..
[11:42] Woah. It sorta feels like I’ve always known you, like we’ve always been friends.
[11:45] Ugh. You’re just full of cheesy lines, aren’t you?
[11:50] You’re just peanut butter and jealous.
[11:51] That's it, I’m out.
[11:52] Come back!
[11:53] No, it’s not weird to me that I like you. It’s kinda what I do, tbh.
[11:53] I sorta have a penchant for getting super attached to people. I fall in love easily. I develop feelings really quickly.
[11:54] So uh, no. It’s not weird for me. But I see how it would be weird for you.
[20:32] I miss you :(
[20:43] I bet you’re a really clingy boyfriend.
[20:44] Rude. I just enjoy your company.
[20:47] Though now I’m wondering what kind of boyfriend you are.
[20:55] Right. Too far. Sorry.
[20:56] I’ll try to reign it in.
[20:57] Please do.
[20:59] I’ll just think of you in other ways.
[21:04] Every time you make me blush, I’m going to leave.
[21:06] That’s as much of an incentive as it is a deterrent.
[21:07] Big words.
[21:09] I’m intelligent
[21:10] Uh huh
[21:11] I went to med school!
[21:14] And I went to Cambridge. Yet I’m technically still unemployed. Means nothing.
[21:17] ... okay you win this one
[21:18] It’s impossible to win an argument against me.
[21:21] I’ve noticed.
[21:23] I’m impossible.
[21:24] Took the words right out of my mouth, babe.
[22:46] Okay I deserved that.
[23:50] Goodnight, Draco. Sleep well.
[00:21] Goodnight, Harry.
-Saturday, November 26th-
[09:21] I like waking up to texts from you.
[11:34] It’s bad, Pan
[11:35] ‘It’ being?
[11:37] Harry thinks he fancies me.
[11:37] Hold on
[11:38] He THINKS he fancies you??
[11:38] What, like he’s not sure or???
[11:40] No, I think he’s pretty sure
[11:41] I don’t follow. Start again.
[11:43] Harry realised he’s into me, but apparently he falls in love the way most people get drunk so that probably doesn’t mean very much.
[11:44] You seem pretty anxious for something that doesn’t mean anything.
[11:44] I don’t like being played with
[11:45] I don’t like the idea that this may be a game for him. Other people's feelings, I mean.
[11:45] My feelings
[11:46] Well, do you like him?
[11:46] I don’t think so?
[11:46] I can’t really tell.
[11:48] I suggest you take some time to think about it.
[13:29] Too much again. Sorry.
[13:30] No, I was just surprised by your complete lack of shame.
[13:31] I know. I’m astounding.
[13:32] I knew you’d say that!
[13:34] I have more questions, by the way. If we’re still doing that.
[13:34] Of course. I love talking about myself.
[13:35] No one is surprised.
[13:35] Do you have a question or not?
[13:36] How do you unwind after a bad day?
[13:36] Do not say masturbation or I will block you.
[13:37] Noted: Draco is a prude
[13:37] I’m not a prude, I just don’t want to know about your nasty habits
[13:37] Who said they were nasty? I’m ultra vanilla, actually.
[13:37] I don’t want to know
[13:39] Fair enough. I suppose after a bad day at work, I’ll do something small when I get home, like watch a movie or take a hot shower. It helps me leave work at work and not bring it home with me
[13:40] What if it’s not work-related? What if you just feel bad that day?
[13:41] I guess I just take some time to myself. I clean the flat or I go for a run, just something rewarding that I can do for myself and get out of my head.
[13:41] And if you can’t get out of your head?
[13:42] If it’s really bad, I call a friend or organise to meet up with them. Usually, they can help me through my problem.
[13:42] Do you have many friends like that, that you can call?
[13:42] A couple, yeah.
[13:43] That’s good.
[13:43] Draco, are you okay? Do you want to talk about something?
[13:44] I’m fine, Harry. Thanks.
[13:45] Okay. I’m here if you need me.
[13:46] I better head to work. My father is expecting me this afternoon.
[13:46] I’ll have some questions ready for when you get back
-Sunday, November 27th-
[15:51] Did work go okay?
[15:54] No. But I’m trying to do what you said, taking time for myself.
[15:54] Am I interrupting that?
[15:55] No. I’m sorry for not texting you last night
[15:55] You don’t owe me responses you know
[15:56] Isn’t that what friends do, though?
[15:57] You just called us friends. I’m so proud.
[15:58] I’m ignoring you now. I’m reading.
[15:58] Whatcha reading?
[16:25] You really are ignoring me
[17:42] It better be a good book.
[18:04] It was a great book. It was about a boy who could see demons.
[18:06] That sounds really good, what was it called?
[18:06] The Boy Who Could See Demons
[18:07] Fair enough. Do you read a lot?
[18:07] I’m not surprised. You come across as very well-read
[18:08] I just like it. The escapism, the connection, the silence, the sound
[18:08] I should read more. You make it sound so fantastic.
[18:08] It is. Books have saved me so many times. They’ve made me who I am.
[18:09] Wow. That’s amazing
[18:10] Indeed. I need to get out of this bath now, it went cold over an hour ago
[18:10] How long have you been in there?!
[18:11] Like two hours. I’m a raisin now.
[18:11] The prettiest raisin I know.
[18:13] -image sent-
[18:14] You can’t just drop a bath selfie with no warning!
[18:14] I can do whatever I want.
[18:15] You look adorable with your knees drawn up like that.
[18:16] You don’t seem to like it when I’m nice to you.
[18:17] I dunno. You’ve never been mean to me, how can I tell?
[18:17] I couldn’t possibly be mean to you
[18:18] Give it a go
[18:19] You’re the palest person I’ve ever met and one of my best mates is ginger
[18:20] Harry Potter
[18:20] throwing shade?!
[18:20] That felt so bad and wrong
[18:21] I loved it.
[18:22] I really ruined your alone time, huh?
[18:22] Mhm. Debating whether to reclaim it or not.
[18:23] I’d rather you didn’t?
[18:23] Well in that case, I’m definitely reclaiming it. I have more books to read.
[18:24] How rude. Reading instead of texting me
-Monday, November 28th-
[13:40] Firstly, how can you still be reading? Secondly, I went to my local library during my lunch break and picked up that demon book. Been reading it between patients. The demon can’t really be real, can it?
[14:57] That would be spoilers, my dear. And no, I’m not still reading. I was, but I fell asleep pretty early last night. Today, I am at the office. I’m literally hiding in the bathroom to text you. There’s every chance I’ll be in a mood to just sleep when I get home, so if you don’t hear from me again today, I’m sorry. Enjoy the book though. Text me your thoughts.
[15:32] Don’t worry. I understand.
[20:11] This book is a lot darker and sadder than I expected
-Tuesday, November 29th-
[08:23] Looks like I’m in the office all week. I blame capitalism for my own suffering.
[08:45] Stay strong. Think of the pay.
[19:57] This book is getting kinda creepy… I can’t tell what’s real anymore
[01:23] ITS OVER AND I STILL DON’T KNOW IF IT WAS REAL
-Wednesday, November 30th-
[14:32] -image sent-
[14:32] Still alive. Hiding in the bathroom. Glad you enjoyed the book.
[15:21] Looking really dapper in that button-up.
[16:02] Shut up, Potter
[16:07] -image sent-
[16:07] A work selfie for a work selfie.
[17:51] Loving the white coat. Very cool.
[17:52] Thank you ;)
-Thursday, December 1st-
[09:21] I need a new book. I feel so hollow and empty now that it's over
[14:23] It’s called a book hangover.
[14:23] Audiobooks. For commuting. Welcome to Night Vale.
[14:24] On it.
[17:32] YOU GAVE ME ANOTHER STRANGE ASS BOOK
[23:56] I like magical realism. And strangeness.
[23:57] Hence my friendship with you.
-Friday, December 2nd-
[08:13] Digging this book though!
[18:15] -image sent-
[18:15] I am drowning in acquisition reports
[18:37] I didn’t know you wore glasses!
[18:39] They’re screen glasses. I need them for the ninety thousand spreadsheets I’ve done this week for the meeting tomorrow
[18:39] On a Saturday?
[18:39] Hell knows no limits.
[18:40] So what are you up to?
[18:42] -image sent-
[18:43] Listening to books on a run
[18:44] Nice arms
[18:45] I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic
[18:45] That’s for me to know
-Saturday, December 3rd-
[08:35] Good luck today
[00:25] I am not okay.
[00:25] And I have no one to tell this to but you.
[00:28] Give me a minute. Sleep, time, space etc.
[00:30] I’m ready. What’s wrong?
[00:33] I don’t know where to start. I forget you know nothing about me.
[00:38] It’s my father.
[00:38] More precisely, it’s the way my father treats me.
[00:39] I take it he doesn’t treat you well
[00:39] Piss poorly, in fact.
[00:40] Oh shit.
[00:41] It’s okay. It’s always been this way. It just gets to me more times than others.
[00:41] That doesn’t make it okay. It’s the exact opposite of okay
[00:42] I guess so.
[00:44] What does he do, exactly?
[00:46] I probably shouldn’t have asked that.
[00:46] That was probably really insensitive, sorry
[00:47] It’s alright.
[00:47] He’s never hit me or anything like that
[00:48] He just… speaks down to me. Undermines me. Belittles me in front of others. He has a real talent for making me feel like shit.
[00:50] I’m sorry you have to go through that.
[00:50] It’s okay.
[00:51] It’s not okay. Stop saying that.
[00:53] No I’m sorry. It just hurts that you’re hurting
[01:14] I wish you were here
[01:15] Jesus Christ, warn a man.
[01:15] Too much?
[01:16] Just right
[01:17] Feeling a bit more like yourself, I see
[01:19] No I still feel like shit
[01:19] Just marginally less shit.
[01:20] Anything I can do to help?
[01:21] Yes, but it’s probably too late at night to ask.
[01:22] I repeat- anything I can do to help?
[01:26] Call me?
[01:29] I think I’m dying
[01:31] Bit extreme. You could have just said no if you didn’t want to
[01:32] I’m calling you
“Oh my God, hi! ...You’re laughing at me. Even your laugh is perfect.”
“That is exactly how I imagined you said that.”
“You sound a lot different than I thought you would.”
“...Is that good or bad?”
“It’s good. I like your voice... A lot.”
“Oh my God.”
“You’re quite the conversationalist there.”
“I like your voice a lot too. It’s exactly what I imagined. And I imagined it a lot, to be fair.”
“I think about you a lot.”
“You have no shame, do you?”
“Christ, I love your laugh.”
“I’ll take that to mean ‘absolutely none’.”
“Pretty much zero.”
“...Thank you, Harry. I appreciate this.”
“Say my name again.”
“One more time?”
“No, this is getting weird.”
“...I think I should go.”
“Okay. I hope you feel better.”
“Oh my God, you’re so cool… And there’s that laugh again.”
“Goodnight, Harry. Thank you again.”
“Goodnight Draco. I’m always here.”
-Sunday, December 4th-
[07:13] I’m dead. I’m actually a zombie right now
[09:23] Sorry for keeping you up so late. I forgot you had an actual life and all that. You should have told me to fuck off and let you sleep.
[09:27] Sorry kid, but I’m never gonna tell you to fuck off.
[09:31] Good to know.
[09:34] Haven’t had any updates on your cat, now that I think about it. You’re the only cat person I know who doesn’t mention your cat thrice daily.
[09:37] He’s currently standing on at least four of my major organs, screaming for his breakfast
[09:37] -image sent-
[09:39] dear sweet fuck
[09:40] There should be a rule against shirtless selfies in beds. Especially ones sent without warning.
[09:42] I probably shouldn’t tell you that I sleep naked then, huh?
[09:43] Christ above
[09:44] That was a joke. I am definitely wearing pants.
[09:45] You’re killing me. Do you have any idea how attractive you are?
[10:53] I guess not. I forget that you find me attractive. I’m not crossing any lines here, am I?
[10:55] Of course not. Why would you be?
[10:56] I don’t know. I don’t mean to be inappropriate or make you uncomfortable or anything. I just like sharing my life with you, since you’re so involved in it now
[10:57] Don’t worry. I thoroughly enjoy it. In fact, I encourage it. More of your face and your voice please.
[10:58] You don’t have some weird voice kink, do you?
[10:58] I told you, ultra vanilla.
[10:59] This conversation is verging on nsfw
[16:57] Thank fuck that shift is over.
[16:57] The next time I agree to cover one of Hermione’s weekend shifts, I want you to find me and kill me instead
[17:00] Is this the friend who Googled me?
[17:01] Yeah. I forgot I was still mad at her for that.
[17:03] She was only looking out for you. I understand. Pansy would do the same for me.
[17:04] Regardless, I’m never doing another Sunday again. That was literally the worst day of my life. Everything went wrong. Everyone was horrible.
[17:05] Call me and tell me about it?
[17:08] You better not respond with ‘oh my god’
[17:08] Oh my god.
[17:09] Jesus Christ.
“Oh m- I’m not gonna say it.”
“Why are you like this?”
“I ask myself that everyday. I seem to forget all my words around you.”
“Don’t snicker at me.”
“How was your day?”
“I like how soft your voice got there.”
“Shut up. I don’t care about your day anymore… Don’t laugh at me!”
“I’m trying to be nice. You’re not making this easy.”
“I appreciate the effort. It was nice of you to offer to call.”
“Actually, I asked you to call me. It’s not really the same.”
“I like it. I like talking to you.”
“... I like it too. Now, are you gonna tell me about your day or what?”
“Ugh. It was awful. Hermione had a family event so I agreed to take her clients and even though they were all told about this, they still acted like it was entirely my fault. Most of her clients are old people or spoilt kids and they were all exceptionally rude and- why are you laughing at me?”
“I’m not. It’s just amusing. I like hearing you bitch about things.”
“...You do? Because I have loads of things I can bitch about.”
“One at a time, maybe.”
“...I feel better now. It’s kinda nice to come home and talk to you about this stuff.”
“Maybe we can make it a regular thing... Don’t say it. Don’t say ‘oh my God’.”
“I’m trying. Real hard.”
“You can’t really be that surprised by everything I say or do.”
“I am. I truly am. You are the definition of surprising.”
“I disagree but whatever.”
“So what are your plans for the evening?”
“Pansy and I got lunch today and I bought a new book because I have no self control, so mostly likely reading.”
“Do you read everyday?”
“Christ! How many books do you read a week then?”
“On a quiet week, it can be as many as five.”
“Five! I don’t think I’d even read five books in a year.”
“You’ve read two in the last two weeks. That’s impressive for a non-reader.”
“I like your recommendations. I’m nearly finished this one. Do you have another for me?”
“I have a whole list.”
“One at a time, maybe.”
“What genre are you feeling?”
“Maybe no magic this time.”
“I like history.”
“The Book Thief. It’s technically YA, but it’s fantastic. I’d go for physical over audio though.”
“I’ll grab it from the library at lunch tomorrow.”
“Cool. Text me your thoughts again. I liked that, and you’ll have a lot for this book.”
“Spoilers, my dear! ...Your laugh has made my day.”
“That soft tone is my favourite.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Of course not. Well, I better go shower and get ready for tomorrow. Talk to you tomorrow, yeah?”
“Of course. Goodnight, Harry.”
-Monday, December 5th-
[07:35] How dare the library not open for me at this hour
[09:57] You’ve never sounded more like me and I’m so proud
[13:45] Okay, I got it! They had like so many copies. This book must be super popular.
[13:51] Fairly popular, yeah. Enjoy.
[17:52] It’s like the first chapter and someone is dead
[17:53] It’s literally narrated by Death, what did you expect?
[17:54] Well now I feel stupid
[17:54] It’s not exactly unwarranted.
[17:55] Ignoring you to read.
[17:56] The tables have turned
[22:49] I need to stop reading to sleep but I don’t want to.
[22:50] How do you sleep when books are so good?!
[22:51] Often I don’t.
[22:52] Can I call you? Just to say goodnight?
[22:52] Of course.
“So I’m considering taking a week off work to read books.”
“I mean, if you can afford to do that, absolutely go ahead.”
“I’m not sure I can afford it. Gonna need to work to pay for this list of books you’ve prepared for me.”
“I really appreciate that you’re making the effort.”
“I’m trying really hard to impress you, in case you can’t tell.”
“Oh, so you’re just reading these books to ingratiate yourself?”
“Absolutely. No, I’m just kidding. I’m genuinely enjoying them.”
“I’m really glad. And it’s working, in case you were wondering.”
“Ingratiating yourself through books. Why are you laughing? Reading is sexy.”
“Shouldn’t you be asleep, anyway?”
“Oh shit, yeah.”
“Did you forget?!”
“Yeah. I better go so.”
“... I don’t want to.”
“Yeah, me neither… I can hear you yawning.”
“Sorry. Really am tired.”
“Go to bed, you idiot.”
“Fine, fine. Goodnight, Draco.”
-Tuesday, December 6th-
[09:35] Can’t wait for this day to be over so I can go home and finish this book
[13:23] Reading on my lunch break. I’m dreading the end of this.
[13:23] I’m sorry in advance.
[18:12] You free?
“I am crying over this stupid bloody book and I blame you entirely.”
“I pre-apologised, that’s- Oh shit, you really are crying. Harry, are you alright?”
“It’s just- Rudy- and then Liesel and- I hate you right now, I want you to know that.”
“Yes, you did this to me.”
“Ah, of course. I cried when I read it too. I was a mess.”
“That’s consoling at least. The library might still be open. You got any others?”
“Let’s go for something light and easy, shall we? Kids section, The Invention of Hugo Cabret.”
“A kids book?”
“Yeah. It’s illustrated too. A one-sitting kind of read.”
“Good, I like pictures.”
“They made a movie of it, and its lovely. When you’re finished, you should watch it. We can talk about it. ”
“I’d love that.”
“Great. Are you feeling better now?”
“Yeah. I better hurry if I want to make the library.”
“Off you pop. Text me later?”
“You know it.”
[22:31] Finished Hugo. It was lovely.
[22:34] It’s really sweet. And the art is gorgeous too, I’m a big fan of the wholesome pencil style
[22:35] I’m emotionally drained from all these books.
[22:35] Take a reading break.
[22:36] I’m gonna turn in early. Talk to you tomorrow?
[22:26] Yeah. Night, Harry
-Wednesday, December 7th-
[09:15] I fucking forgot that Hermione invited herself and Ron over for dinner tonight
[09:16] This is bad?
[09:17] I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, but I can’t cook.
[09:18] What do you do for dinners?
[09:18] I microwave shit.
[09:18] Jesus Christ, Harry. You’re an adult!
[09:19] Is it bad form to just order them all takeout?
[09:19] Absolutely do not do that
[09:19] Here’s what we’re gonna do
[09:20] I’m gonna send you a list of ingredients, is there a supermarket near you?
[09:21] Yeah, there’s Tesco around the corner
[09:21] Pick them up on your lunch break. Ring me the moment you get home.
“Right, I’m home, I have your ingredients. It’s… half five, they’re arriving at half six.
“An hour. We can work with this. Stick me on speaker, get yourself a chopping board.”
“Okay, hang on… Okay. Let’s go.”
“Right, finely chop the garlic.”
“...I don’t know how to work garlic.”
“Jesus Christ, you peel the outer layer off. Okay, now break off a clove. Take your knife and press the flat of the blade against it to open it, as it were.”
“Oh my God, I did it!”
“Great, you’ve got like four more to go.”
“So, while I’m chopping shit, how are you?”
“I’m good. Saw Pansy again today. I think she just uses me as an excuse to drink mimosas at noon. And then I did some work from home. Quiet, really. Have you got on to the chicken yet?”
“Yeah. I hate the feeling of raw meat- ...You are snickering like a teenager. Stop that.”
“Sorry. You’ve got bacon and mushrooms to go.”
“I bought pre-chopped mushrooms because we live in the twenty-first century.”
“Are you not bored waiting for me to do all this?”
“No. I’m reading.”
“I know. I like having you here in the background while I read. It’s... relaxing, weirdly.”
“Relaxing is good. I like helping you relax.”
“I like being relaxed. I’ll probably run myself a bath when we’re done.”
“Work away, I don’t mind.”
“You’ve got a ways to go, I’ll hold off for a while.”
“Can I ask a question?”
“Do you make your baths fancy? Like bubbles and candles and all?”
“Yeah, sometimes. I own a lot of scented candles, to be honest. Sometimes there are bubbles. If I have any bath bombs around.”
“That sounds really nice. Way nicer than my evening.”
“Where are you now?”
“Great. Heat oil, start with garlic. Don’t let it burn or it goes bitter. Then chicken and bacon. Then after a few minutes, mushrooms.”
“Running your bath?”
“You tempted me. The water isn’t too loud is it?”
“No. Are you lighting candles?”
“I will. Don’t laugh.”
“I think it’s cute.”
“Shut up and cook.”
“Yes, sir. What are you reading today?”
“The Man Who Was Thursday. It’s a classic about a secret anarchist society.”
“I’ve never met someone who reads as widely as you.”
“I dip in and out of everything, I guess. How’s the chicken looking?”
“Is it cooked through?”
“Let me cut a bit… yeah. Bacon tastes good too.”
“Cool. If you reckon it’s all cooked, add the cream. You got grana padano, right?”
“Yeah, but what’s the difference between this and parmesan?”
“This has a sort of nutty fragrance to it, I just prefer it. What pasta did you get?”
“The shell looking one?”
“Praise from the pasta aficionado.”
“Stick on the pasta, add the cheese to the cream, let it reduce.”
“I think I got it from here if you wanna take your bath.”
“Great. I’ve been sitting on the edge of the tub for the last ten minutes.”
“You’ve put that image in my head now- Think that was the door. I’ll let you go.”
“Good luck. Do try to enjoy yourself.”
“I will. Thanks for this, Draco.”
[21:02] Hermione nearly fell over when she saw I cooked. Ron ate two full plates
[21:03] You’re officially a functioning adult now.
[21:04] I really appreciate you helping me out like that.
[21:04] What are friends for?
[21:04] I’ve had too much wine.
[21:05] Sleep it off. Text me tomorrow?
[21:06] Goodnight, Draco. Thank you again.
-Thursday, December 8th-
[08:54] Don’t let me drink wine on a weeknight again
[09:36] You say that like I have any sway over what you do. Walking into the office now. I’ll text you at lunch.
[10:01] Have a good day. Stay strong. Don’t let it get to you.
[23:12] Are you awake?
[23:12] Barely. What's up?
[23:13] I fell asleep when I got in from work and now I’m going to be awake all night.
[23:13] How was work?
[23:13] Bad. I foolishly voiced the fact that the company’s finances didn’t quite support my father’s lofty new ideas and received quite the dressing down later on.
[23:14] I must be reminded weekly how much of a disappointment I am.
[23:14] Fuck that. Are you okay?
[23:14] Not exactly.
“You barely sound awake.”
“Go to sleep, Harry.”
“Not until I know you’re okay.”
“It’ll be a good few hours before I’m okay again.”
“Then I’ll wait.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Harry.”
“I can hear you reading. What is it today?”
“Lord of the Rings.”
“I can keep you company while you read.”
“Okay. It’ll be nice not to be alone.”
“Mhm. Do you want me to talk or?”
“No. Just the knowledge that you’re there is enough.”
-twenty minutes later-
“I keep falling asleep.”
“Are you sure? It’s just the sound of the pages turning and your breathing and the way you give these little sighs every now and then… I just feel really comfortable here like this.”
“So do I. And yes, it’s fine if you fall asleep.”
-forty minutes later-
“I take it from your breathing that you’re asleep? Definitely asleep. Goodnight, Harry. Thank you for being with me.”
-Friday, December 9th
[12:04] Slept through my alarm. Been non-stop all morning. Can I call when I get in?
[14:05] Of course. Sorry for the absence, I’m out with Pansy. Should be home before then. You sound stressed.
[14:07] A bit. I just want to hang out with you.
[18:01] Just out of the shower, you home?
[18:15] I’m staying in Pansy’s tonight. I can still take a call though.
[18:16] No it’s okay. You have fun
“Figured it was my turn to take the hit to my phone bill.”
“I don’t even want to think about how many minutes we’ve used.”
“Pretty sure my bill comes out next week. We’ll see if this friendship can continue or not.”
“That would be really sad. I would literally pay your phone bill for you just to keep up these calls.”
“I could always use a sugar daddy.”
“Oh my God. You sound like you’re in a good mood.”
“That’s what day drinking does to you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Harry. No one drinks mimosas after four pm. We’re on to martinis.”
“It may also be my turn to drunk text you, though Pansy is very good at keeping me sensible. And she plans to confiscate my phone after this.”
“I wish my friends were that thoughtful, would have saved me a lot of embarrassment.”
“I thought it was very funny.”
“Of course you did. Is that knocking?”
“Pansy is getting impatient. She wants me out of her bedroom and back in the kitchen so I can continue making her drinks.”
“I’ll let you get back to it. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“You weren’t interrupting. And I was craving your voice.”
“I’m a creature of habit, I don’t like breaking my routine.”
“Right. Well, thanks for calling me. I needed it too.”
“Night, Draco. Take care.”
“You mean ‘don’t get too drunk’?”
“We’ll see about that one.”
-Saturday, December 10-
[11:03] I got my phone back. But the screen is hurting me. We drank too much.
[11:04] Shame pit or no?
[11:04] Is a Julia Roberts marathon shameful?
[11:04] Probably not.
[11:05] That’s classy drunk levels.
[11:06] Not a park bench or statue in sight.
[11:06] Was there crying though?
[11:07] There might have been. Waiting for Pansy to fill in my blanks when she wakes up
[11:08] If I didn’t know you were gay, that would sound like a euphemism.
[11:09] Pansy would never sleep with me. Her standards are much too high.
[11:10] But you’re gorgeous?
[11:10] I know! I’ve tried to explain this to her, but she’s just not buying it.
[11:11] Here she comes now with painkillers and coffee. What a lady. I’ll text you later when I’ve determined my shame levels.
[17:11] I’m bored
[17:36] Draco, help me
[18:26] Draaacccoooo. I’m boorrreeddd
[18:27] Okay, okay, I’m here, Christ.
[18:27] Speechless I see
[18:27] It just struck me that you were having a rough day yesterday and I just ignored that to go drinking.
[18:28] Trust me, the rough day was made so much better when you called me.
[18:28] I dunno, I still feel like that was rather selfish of me.
[18:29] Well I veto that feeling because it’s wrong.
[18:29] Hah, I wish you could veto all my negative feelings that easily.
[18:29] I’m willing to try.
[18:30] So is it too early for a call?
“Well, are you still bored?”
“Around you? I could never.”
“I just like hearing you laugh.”
“So what did you do today without me?”
“Uh, let’s see. I went jogging this morning, got to pet some great doggos-”
“Did you just say ‘doggos’?”
“That’s not a word. That can’t be a word.”
“I mean, it’s an internet word?”
“So like not a word then.”
“Do you always have to be right?”
“Yes. Always. Carry on, you were petting dogs.”
“Anyway, the doggos. I rang Hermione to try and get her to hang out with me but she was busy, so I sort of sat at home all day. Oh I watched Hugo! It was beautiful, by the way.”
“I wish I could have been there for that, but I was too busy wallowing around Pansy’s being hungover. It’s a good thing I’m unemployed, having a job would really affect my progress towards becoming a functioning daytime alcoholic.”
“There are worse things to be than unemployed, Draco.”
“Tell me more about Pansy.”
“Pansy? Well, she’s Pansy, I guess. She’s amazing. She’s clever and tenacious and incredibly supportive and frankly, I’d be lost without her.”
“That’s exactly how I feel about Hermione, actually.”
“Hah, everyone needs a great woman in their life.”
“I’m glad you have a friend like that. You deserve that kind of love and support.”
“This conversation turned very soppy very fast.”
“You started that.”
“Oh Christ. You make me soppy. Great.”
“I like you when you’re soppy.”
“I thought you liked me when I was being a bitch?”
“I just like you.”
“I-... I like you too, Harry.”
“Can I say it now?”
“Go on, then.”
“Oh my God.”
“I want you to know that I’m rolling my eyes at you.”
“You’re also laughing at me, but I like your laugh… You’re blushing, aren’t you?!”
“My face might actually be on fire, it’s hard to tell.”
“I’m incredibly pleased with this development.”
“I better go now. I hope you feel better about your boring day.”
“I’ve already forgotten it.”
“Yes, I’m quite amazing like that.”
“And so humble too.”
“If I were humble, I’d be boring.”
“You could never be boring.”
“I am constantly amazed by you, you know that?”
“I do, actually.”
[23:36] So, just to get this clear.
[23:37] I wasn’t imagining it when we both said that we had feelings for each other?
[23:37] That was what you meant by ‘I like you’?
[23:38] because it was what I meant
[23:43] That was what I meant.
[23:44] okay, good.
[00:12] I am so fucking into you.
[00:41] I am so fucking into you too.