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The Hardest-Kept Secret

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Ferb didn’t know.

Neither did Isabella or Buford.

But Phineas and Baljeet sure did. Well, it was them, after all.

Baljeet was still a little bit oblivious, but the surprise was, that Phineas wasn’t at all. Since finishing middle school he had realised that he looked at boys a little differently than how Ferb, or maybe Buford would. No, not Buford. Maybe Jeremy.

And Phineas also realised he was in love with his nerdy Indian friend.

He had asked Baljeet to just hang out with him every few days or so just to relax and hang out, and to help each other with homework.

Phineas called these the “preliminary dates”.

And he was honestly glad that Baljeet was a bit oblivious. It would have blown his plan, which he didn’t want. He wanted it to be perfect.

About a month later of “hanging out”, the boys found themselves on the sofa, sitting pretty close to each other with Phineas’s arms wrapped around Baljeet, with both their legs up on the sofa.

Perfect, thought Phineas. Absolutely perfect.

”I really like us hanging out together, ‘Jeet.”

”Me too,” Baljeet agreed. “We should do it all of the time.” He smiled up at the redhead.

Phineas smiles back, and their faces slowly inched closer. They kissed each other’s lips softly and slowly, and quietly.

Baljeet suddenly pulled away, and Phineas felt like he had done something wrong.

”Oh, no, Phineas. You have not done anything wrong. I was just wondering when the rest of your family was coming home.”

”Well, Mom and Dad should be home in a couple of hours, and Ferb is out with Irving for some photography project so I don’t know when he’ll be back. But it’ll be ages, it’s fine.”

”That is good to hear. Did you want to… continue?”

”Yeah, that would be nice.”

______________

Phineas gasped as he heard Ferb’s car up the driveway. The boys quickly resumed a chilled position on the sofa, watching some sciencey show on the TV.

”Oh, hey bro,” said Phineas as the green haired boy walked through the front door. “How’d it go with Irving?”

”Same old. Fussy as ever.” He put his keys on the rack and snuck into the kitchen to find some food.

”Well, that’s Irving.”

Ferb grabbed a bag of chips and sat down on the sofa next to Phineas. “So, what have you guys been up to?”

“Oh, just working on some homework. We’re finished so we decided to watch this.”

Ferb watched for a moment. “Isn’t this a bit… tame for you, Baljeet?”

”Oh, you know I like to dumb it down a bit sometimes. It is nostalgic watching television hosts explain how centripetal acceleration works. It feels like such a long time ago that I learned it.”

Phineas could tell that Baljeet was nervous, but he knew he had good reason to. Neither of them wanted to tell the gang yet. And even though they knew that they would accept them, having a queer couple in the group was still a big thing.

Ferb sat for about ten seconds before standing up again. “Alright, you’ve bored me to tears. I’m going upstairs.” He brushed off the crumbs he had made from his chips and took the packet up to his bedroom with him.

Linda’s car pulled up the driveway at the same moment, and she and Lawrence came inside with groceries.

”I should probably go too,” sighed Baljeet, and he picked up his things. “Maybe we can talk about it tomorrow.”

”And maybe do some more of it?” Phineas asked with a smirk.

Baljeet placed his hand on the redhead’s shoulder. “Of course. I will text you. Goodnight.”

”See ya,” said Phineas as he left, and closed the door behind him. He smiled at the ground and went up the stairs to his bedroom.

From the kitchen, Linda and Lawrence exchanged glances.

_______________

Phineas rolled over in his bed for the 20th time and sighed heavily.

“Alright, I’m getting annoyed,” said Ferb from across the room. “What is it?”

“Oh, it’s just someone I can’t keep my thoughts off.”

Isabella? “Pshht, it’s about time.”

“Huh?”

Ferb rolled to face his brother. “It’s Isabella, isn’t it?”

Phineas stayed quiet for a bit too long.

“It is, isn’t it?”

“Sure,” Phineas said quietly.

Ferb couldn’t contain himself. He had wanted this since they were 10. Six years later, and he was finally here.

“You have to ask her on a date.”

Phineas breathed out again.

“Ok, I get it. You’re nervous. Well, we’ll just work on it for now and then when you’re rea-”

“It’s not Isabella.”

“It’s not?”

“No, it isn’t. Stop pressuring me. Besides… I’m already dating him.”

He got up off his bed and left the room, leaving Ferb genuinely gobsmacked.

__________________

Should he tell the gang? Did they already know? And who was it?

God, I really hope it isn’t Irving. He can do so much better.

Maybe Buford? Nah, he’s too… well, Buford.

Oh! Maybe it’s Django. They’d actually be pretty good together.

He was halfway through his bowl of cereal when Phineas came down the stairs with bags under his eyes. Ferb shot his head round with a smirk on his face, but Phineas gave him a tired look.

“Dude, I’m not telling you,” he snapped. He dropped a couple of slices of bread into the toaster and stood by it while it cooked. He pulled his phone from his pocket, and his eyes creased by the smile that was made on his face.

Alright, so they’ve obviously been texting… but who would text overnight? Or really early in the morning?

”I can see that damned look on your face, Fletcher.” Uh oh. When Phineas called Ferb by his last name he knew he was serious.

Ferb looked back at his fruity rainbow flakes and took another spoonful.

_______________

“Hey, uh, I’m gonna have to speak real quietly because Ferb is probably gonna try and listen to what I’m saying,” Phineas whispered into his phone.

He locked his bedroom door and made sure that he was alone. It was probably a mistake to tell Ferb that he was in some sort of relationship, but having Ferb try and guess who it was was almost worse than having to keep the whole thing a secret.

Phineas knew that Ferb could be annoying, but this was his peak. He would never actually be violent, but he was pretty close to punching his brother.

“Oh, that is okay, Phineas. I am sorry I could not come over to your house today, my mother said I had to stay and finish cleaning my room, so I thought I could talk to you at the same time.”

Phineas chuckled softly into the phone.

”So, what is happening with Ferb?”

The redhead sighed. “Well, last night he asked me what was up, because I was tossing in my bed because I was so just… happy about what happened yesterday, and so I told him it was because I couldn’t keep a certain person out of my thoughts. He immediately thought it was Isabella, and I played along for a tiny bit before he started pressuring me to ask her out, and then I snapped and said I’m already dating someone. And he hasn’t stopped asking me since.”

”Well, he is your brother, and you tell each other everything, do not you?”

”Yeah… I guess we could say something. But I want to make sure we’re actually serious before we tell Buford and Isabella, right?”

”Of course. Maybe later we could head down to the park and talk about it, and we could go back to your house and tell Ferb,” Baljeet suggested.

Phineas sighed with relief. “Sure. That sounds like a great plan. I’ll see you later today then?”

”Yes, Phineas. See you later.”

Both boys lingered on the phone for a few seconds before hanging up.

Phineas smiled, and put his phone down on his bed. He unlocked his bedroom door to find Ferb standing right behind it.

”Please don’t tell me you were listening that whole time,” Phineas groaned as his brother walked in.

”Well, little brother, I’m just looking out for you.”

”Well, stop, because you know it’s annoying me. You’ll know in a little while.”

”Alright, fine. But I do have one question.”

”Yes?”

“Is it Django?”

Phineas stared at his brother with a bored expression. “I’m not answering.”

”It’s him, I knew it,” said Ferb gleefully. “I knew you’d crack.”

”No, you actually didn’t know. And I’m not going to ask again for you to stop, so please just give it a rest!”

Note to self for later; google how to shut your brother up for good.

__________________

Baljeet and Phineas arrived at the park at the same time, due to both the boys’ dislike of being late. Phineas smiled when he realised this, and knew he had made a good choice with Baljeet.

”Hey, ‘Jeet. Nice of you to bring some food.”

Baljeet held up his picnic basket. “Well, I thought since we were at the park, it would be a cliché but cute thing to do.”

Phineas took Baljeet’s other hand in his. ”It was a nice gesture. Thanks.”

They smiled at each other, and found a shady spot under a pine tree.

”So, how has Ferb been?”

Phineas sighed. “I didn’t really want to talk about him…”

”Oh! Oh, I am sorry. We do not have to talk about Ferb if you do not want to.”

“Thanks. I just hope he didn’t follow me here and is spying on us. I know I said I was gunna tell him, but he’s just been so annoying about it.”

”Perhaps we could make it a planned accident?” Baljeet suggested.

Phineas bit his lip in thought. “Yeah… that could work.”

_____________

”Hey, Mom,” Phineas sang into the kitchen as he and Baljeet walked inside. “Is Ferb home?”

Linda pulled her head out of the fridge, and saw her son and his “friend” were there together.

”He’s off doing that photography project with Irving. Apparently he needed to redo the entire thing.”

”Perfect,” said Phineas, and he grinned at Baljeet.

“Would you kids like some snacks?”

”We already ate, but thanks.”

”Alright,” said Linda, and she stuck her heard back into the refrigerator.

Phineas took Baljeet’s hand and they went upstairs to his room. They sat on his bed and waited.

________________

Phineas was hungrily making out with Baljeet as Ferb opened the bedroom door. Baljeet let out a squeal and rolled behind Phineas’s bed.

The redhead had to be fake-surprised. ”Ferb, I… you’re home earlier than I expected! How… unexpected!”

Ferb dropped his tripod beside his bed and smirked at Phineas. He slowly walked over as Baljeet poked his head up.

”You know, I had my doubts and suspicions, but I never came to the conclusion that it was this guy! C’mon, Baljeet.”

“Why did you not think it was me?”

”Well, haven’t you got a major thing for Ginger?”

Baljeet sputtered. “Ginger? You really thought I had a thing for a girl?” He started to laugh.

”Okay, well, maybe not,” said Ferb.

Phineas looked at his brother in an inquisitive way. “Why did you want to know so badly?”

”I just wanted to keep my little brother safe, that’s all.”

”What, just because I’m like four months younger than you?”

Ferb shrugged. “I guess it’s just because it’s been you and I for so long, I just didn’t want to feel left out. And when you didn’t tell me… it was weird. You know we tell each other everything.”

Phineas itched his ear. “Yeah, I guess keeping a secret from you felt a little odd, but hey. You know now!”

Ferb ruffled Phineas’s hair, and patted Baljeet on the shoulder. ”Take care of each other!” he said as he left the room.

Phineas and Baljeet sat down together on his bed. “Huh,” said Phineas. “That wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be.”

”He is your brother, Phineas. Why would it have been bad?”

Phineas smiled at the floor, and shrugged. “I dunno. I’m just glad I’m with someone I love a lot.”

The boys shared a tender kiss, and Baljeet lay his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

”I love you a lot too, Phineas.”