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If In Doubt Make Fun of Roy

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Donna: Has anyone seen Dick?

Donna: he’s not answering his phone

 

Wally: no sorry


Donna: Dick where the hell are you?

Donna: we have a meeting

 

Roy: we’ve been waiting for an hour!


Dick: guys i’m sorry for vanishing i was stuck in the past

 

Roy: time traveller

 

Wally: who’s there

 

Roy: knock knock

 

Dick: i’ll tell you what happened when i have actually gotten sleep

 

Garth: I would tell you a joke about a time traveller but you didn’t like it

 

Dick: please don’t do this right now

Dick: alfie just threatened to sedate me

 

Donna: Why are you in Gotham?

 

Dick: emergency medical check up because i was stuck in a time with different diseases

Dick: i only need to take five different medications for the next three weeks

 

Roy: aw fuck

 

Dick: Master Roy, do watch your language. You will hear from Master Dick once he has gotten an adequate amount of sleep.

 

Wally: damn he wasn’t kidding

 

Dick: You, too, Master Wallace.


Lilith: why does the interesting stuff always happen when im asleep

Lilith: on a completely unrelated note: why weren’t any of you asleep


Wally: Garth why the hell don’t you ever dry yourself off after using the underwater entrance?!

 

Roy: did you fall on your face again

 

Wally: maybe…

Wally: and it’s NOT MY FAULT

 

Garth: sorry i forgot

 

Wally: DON’T FORGET

 

Roy: boy am i glad i don’t run faster than i can think

 

Lilith: wow you must be pretty slow then

 

Dick: ouch

 

Donna: Is spending time with Garth making Lilith saltier?

 

Roy: hahaha hilarious

Roy: i thought we were making fun of Wally

 

Donna: you know the team motto

 

Roy: titans together?

 

Dick: if in doubt make fun of roy

 

Roy: i hate all of you


Wally: you still haven’t told us about the time travel thing

 

Roy: Yeah!

 

Dick: it wasn’t actually that interesting

Dick: i was just stranded in another time with jason and we somehow managed not to kill each other

 

Roy: seriously? that’s all you’re gonna give us?

 

Dick: next time we all go to a bar together i swear


Roy: so jason just said something about “i swear i should have let dick get eaten by that octopus-bear-thing” and refused to elaborate

Roy: could this maybe have something to do with time travel


Wally: wanna go grab a drink tomorrow

 

Lilith: sure

 

Garth: I’m free

 

Roy: definitely

Roy: we need to hear that story at some point

 

Donna: yes

 

Dick: i have to see whether one of the others can take care of my patrol

Dick: ok, cass is taking over

 

Wally: great! tower at 8?


Roy: anyone else feel like the most unbelievable part of that story is dick and jason not killing each other?

 

Donna: definitely

 

Roy: one time i lost jay in blüdhaven and i was just so sure he went off to pick a fight with dick

 

Garth: how hurt did they get

 

Roy: one black eye, one busted lip and two very drunk robins

 

Dick: I don’t remember that

 

Roy: you were so goddamn drunk

Roy: i never figured out how they had gone from fighting to drinking

 

Dick: didn’t jay tell you

 

Roy: he asked me where his black eye was from

Roy: so basically no


Garth: I won’t be able to make it today.

Garth: I’m stuck in Atlantis for at least two more days.

 

Lilith: oh, are you alright with that?

 

Garth: I’m not particularly happy about it but if anyone is an asshole, I’ll probably just leave

 

Roy: you still need to explain to me how you have cell service there

 

Garth: :)

Garth: I don’t really know

 

Donna: Is Arthur at least being nice?

 

Garth: Let’s just say he has been less nice in the past and leave it at that.


Dick: [video: Jason is laughing and Tim is yelling. “What the frick frack, Jason? What the actual heck were you thinking?” Tim turns around to the camera where Dick’s muffled laughter is heard. “Turn that dang phone off.” Tim gets closer to the camera which is shaking violently until the video is ended.]

 

Donna: I just heard a loud crash from the kitchen and apparently Roy fell from his chair because he was laughing too hard.

 

Roy: god how does he not know how to swear

 

Dick: he doesn’t spend that much time with jay

 

Garth: He spent his teenage years around you.

 

Dick: yeah?

 

Donna: shh, he doesn’t know

 

Garth: How does he not know?

 

Lilith: he’s usually too angry or tired to realize

 

Dick: are you talking about me

 

Roy: definitely not

 

Wally: why would you think that

 

Dick: stop fucking with me

 

Roy: …

 

Dick: what the hell are you talking about

Dick: could you please for one minute learn how to not be fucking idiots and answer my goddamn question

 

Roy: …

 

Dick: oh

Dick: ooooooh

Dick: that explains a lot

Dick: do i do that often

 

Garth: Swear like a sailor?

 

Dick: yeah

 

Donna: you know that temper problem you have

Donna: it’s tied together

 

Dick: I should probably work on that.

 

Roy: please don’t

Roy: it’s hilarious


 

Donna: DID YOU KNOW THAT THE TINIES HAVE A WHIRLPOOL?

 

Roy: yeah why didn’t we build one

 

Wally: because Garth said “ew no that’s what happens when you fart”

 

Roy: right that happened

 

Wally: why were you there

 

Donna: visiting Cassie

Donna: and I still am until monday

 

Dick: I actually don’t have anything to do right now

Dick: I’m joining you

 

Roy: you know technically i haven’t visited my sis in ages

 

Wally: no don’t they’re gonna think it’s an invasion

 

Roy: I know ;)

 

Wally: since bart would probably just close the door in my face i won’t be joining you


Garth: How did the invasion go?

 

Donna: we ended up training with them and telling embarrassing stories about each other

 

Dick: So now the tinies have way too much blackmail material on all of us but also on our siblings

 

Roy: i learnt about like fifty bands i had never heard of and basically i’m feeling old

 

Dick: apparently kon cassie and bart regularly drug tim when he refuses to sleep and i feel like i shouldn’t be so proud of them for that

 

Donna: Mia was really excited to see Roy it was very sweet

 

Roy: i think blue beetle nearly fainted when Dick and I arrived

 

Lilith: so…

Lilith: it went well?

 

Donna: yep


Roy: Mia just shot at me

 

Lilith: what did you do

 

Roy: why do you assume i did something

 

Lilith: …

 

Roy: … fair enough

Roy: i might have called the teen titans “tinies” out loud

 

Wally: did she hit you

 

Roy: no????

Roy: i caught the arrow?????

Roy: she might have kicked me in the balls after though

 

Dick: oh that’s rough

Dick: tim hit me in the solar plexus when he found out

Dick: jay laughed at both of us


Lilith: could a certain someone doing a certain activity while thinking of certain people keep their goddamn thoughts down

Lilith: I’m trying to read


Dick: does anyone know where my tampons went?

 

Roy: ???

Roy: i’m pretty sure i’ve seen your dick

 

Dick: i’m donna

Dick: my phone is charging

 

Wally: i thought we bought some for every bathroom

 

Dick: oh right

Dick: forgot about that

Dick: damn we’re nailing the adulting thing


Lilith: did i just walk in on dick and wally crying because of a cooking show?

 

Donna: they’re too tired for their emotional responses to work properly

 

Lilith: yeah but why are they watching a cooking show at 3am

 

Donna: i think there’s some fear gas after effects involved but i’m not sure

Donna: they could also be betting on who can stay awake longer

 

Lilith: well Wally is just projecting a mess of emotions which was actually why i woke up

Lilith: like damn boy some of us want to sleep

 

Donna: did they notice you

 

Lilith: no i’ve been standing at the door for ten minutes

 

Donna: wait i’m coming down

Donna: let’s try and get them to sleep


Roy: i may or may not be in a lot of trouble

 

Dick: and you’re telling us that on your phone why

 

Roy: don’t have my comm

Roy: also can’t talk

Roy: i was investigating in a warehouse at the haven and the gang walked in

Roy: i’m hiding

 

Dick: wait i’ll track your phone

Dick: do you want to take them down or just get out

 

Roy: just out

Roy: i didn’t find anything

 

Dick: wally’s on his way