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Pillowtalk

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The door to Shepard’s cabin slid shut behind them. Shepard turned to face Kaidan, wrapped his hands around his new partner’s waist, and gave him a slow, luxurious kiss.

“So,” Shepard huskily whispered as the kiss broke. “How do you want tonight to play out?”

“Well,” Kaidan drawled out. “When I start seeing someone new… my first priority is getting to know each other better.”

“Kaidan, we’ve known each other for three years,” Shepard playfully scolded.

Kaidan shook his head and made a gentle huff. “You know that’s not what I mean.” He bent his head toward Shepard’s, gently touching their foreheads together. “I want to learn what makes you feel good. What turns you on. What you secretly love done to you.”

Shepard let out a small chuckle. “Well, you’re off to a good start,” he said, pressing himself against Kaidan to make his point.

Kaidan pulled his head away from Shepard’s and laughed, shaking his head in exasperation. He cupped Shepard’s cheek and looked into his eyes.  “John, I’m serious. You know I don’t do casual. This matters to me. I want us to be good together.”

Shepard laid his hand over Kaidan’s and caressed it with his thumb. “I know you’re serious, Kaidan. It’s just… I’m pretty easygoing in the bedroom. There are a lot of things I like, but I don’t require any of them to be happy. I want to be with you, and I trust that whatever pleases you will please me too.” At Kaidan’s hesitance, he added, “I promise we can have an in-depth conversation about my tastes later. For tonight, I just want to enjoy the moment.”

Kaidan searched Shepard’s face for a moment, then nodded. “Okay.”

“Fair’s fair,” Shepard said. “What makes you feel good?”

“Hmm,” Kaidan said. “I’m a big fan of slow-burn makeout sessions. Kissing, nibbling, grinding. Even as a teenager I was never in that much of a hurry to just get my rocks off. I want to connect with someone, you know?”

Shepard nodded, a thoughtful smile splaying across his face.  “Yeah, I get that,” he said.

“And after we’re both aroused and thoroughly naked,” Kaidan said, his voice suddenly dropping in pitch, “I figure that kissing could give way to sucking.”

“Mmmhmm,” Shepard murmured with approval, his pupils dilating.

“I want to work my tongue up and down your shaft until I’ve tasted every millimeter,” Kaidan added, his voice a husky growling whisper. “Then I’m going to take you into my mouth and pump your cock with my lips and tongue. I’ll keep that up until you cum for me, and then I’ll study you: every whimper; every tremor; the way you taste in my mouth; whether you buck your hips or restrain yourself; whether you shake out of control, or gasp with surprise, or shout your climax to the world.”

Shepard leaned in for a hungry kiss. Their tongues probed and caressed one another as Shepard pulled Kaidan in tight, pressing his straining cock firmly against Kaidan through the fabric of their clothes.

At last, they parted. Shepard made a small hum of curiosity.

“What?” Kaidan asked with a hint of a laugh.

“You still haven’t told me how you want this night to end,” Shepard said.

“I thought I made it fairly clear,” Kaidan said with a smile and a skeptical eyebrow.

“After you’re done with pleasuring me,” Shepard said, “how do I make you cum?”

“I don’t know,” Kaidan said. “How do you want to make me cum?”

A feral smile crept on Shepard’s lips. “I want you to use me,” he whispered into Kaidan’s ear.

Kaidan’s eyes darkened noticeably.

“I want you to climb up my body and kiss me,” Shepard continued, “forcing me to taste my own cum on your tongue.  Then I want you to hold my head in position and work your cock in and out of my mouth. I want to taste your precum on my tongue as you find your rhythm.  And then I want you to let go of your self-control and fuck my face. I want you to shove your entire length in, and then shoot your load down my throat.”

Kaidan let go of Shepard’s waist and gripped his wrists, one in each hand. He peeled Shepard’s hands off of his own body and spread them apart, holding them up at shoulder height. Then he pinned Shepard against the bulkhead and stared possessively at his new lover, his own length pressed firmly against Shepard’s.

Seconds ticked by, with only the sounds of their hot breaths and the blood rushing in their ears to remind them that time was still flowing. Their exchange of looks communicated heat and passion and awe and tenderness and disbelief at their mutual luck.

Finally, Kaidan cracked a half-smile and shook his head. “We’ve been dating for, what, six hours now? And you’ve already brought out the filthy fucking beast in me.”

Kaidan’s hold on Shepard didn’t budge. Shepard squirmed in Kaidan’s grip, and was rewarded with an even tighter pin. He grunted in pleasure.

“Not in a million years is this how I imagined the evening going,” Kaidan admitted.

“Honestly,” Shepard said, “I’ve been dreaming of this for ages. But who knew you were so damn good at dirty talk? You get a lot of practice?”

“A little,” Kaidan said, pulling his torso back so he could see Shepard’s whole face.  His grip on Shepard’s wrists loosened a bit, but he continued to press the man into the wall with his lower body. “Haven’t dated a lot of people. You’re, uh, number four. Actually. And only the second guy. One of the girls, though… Laina was her name and she was into the freaky stuff.”

Shepard grinned.  “How freaky?”

“Well,” Kaidan said, “I had to turn her down when she asked me to inflict pain. I found out quick that I just don’t have a sadist streak in me, even knowing that she liked it. But, uh, blindfolds and bondage, we did a fair bit of that. She loved being tied up. And we did some light dominant/submissive roleplay. She was mostly the submissive, but now and then we switched up… mostly at my insistence.” He shrugged. “Wanted to see what it was like from her perspective.”

“You surprise me, Alenko,” Shepard said with a chuckle.

“And what exactly about this do you find surprising?” Kaidan said with mock defensiveness.

“That Spectre Major Reserved Introvert Kaidan Alenko has a kinky side and has done something about it.”

Kaidan shrugged. “What can I say? I take it you approve?”

“Hell yeah,” Shepard said. “I love it when a guy knows what he wants.”

Kaidan tried to make a cocky smile but a sudden streak of self-conscious bashfulness ruined the effect. Shepard found the result all the more endearing, and suddenly found that he wanted to kiss Kaidan.

Kaidan seemingly sensed that, and was kind enough to indulge him with one.

Parting, the two made their way to the bed and sat down at the edge, hand in hand the entire way. They turned toward each other and stared for a moment, each caressing the other’s hand with their own thumb. Suddenly, though his smile continued, Kaidan raised his eyebrows pointedly at Shepard. “About those things you enjoy but don’t require,” he began. “I take it that being dominated is on that list?”

Shepard curled his lips into an expression of mock disapproval, the effect quite ruined by his cheerful eyes.  “I thought we agreed to have that conversation later?”

“We did,” Kaidan acknowledged, “but as you said, fair’s fair. You learn a little something about me, I learn a little something about you.”

Shepard shrugged and leaned back in the bed, propping himself up with his arms.  “I went through something of an experimental phase while I was on Arcturus. There was pretty much just one gay club on the station, but… let’s just say I met a few guys there.”

“Fellow OCS students?” Kaidan asked.

“Probably,” Shepard admitted, “but no one I recognized from my classes. I was a dumb-ass kid, but seems like I had some degree of self-preservation for my career,” he said with a chuckle.

Kaidan laid back on the bed, working his hand up Shepard’s back beneath his shirt.

Shepard shook his head and leaned back into Kaidan’s touch. “Anyway,” he continued, “I dabbled in a bunch of stuff, and figured out I was up for most of it.  I, ah, ended up falling into a D/s relationship with another student, Rick. Less of a boyfriend situation, more of a friends-with-benefits, but neither of us were looking for more at the time. Extranet research aside, I don’t think either of us really knew what we were doing, but in retrospect Rick was a natural. Knew exactly how to be commanding without being controlling, if you get what I mean.”

Kaidan nodded to himself. “In theory, that’s pretty much what you’re supposed to be learning in OCS,” he said sardonically.

“Emphasis on the ‘supposed to be’,” Shepard agreed.  “I think I learned more about command from Rick than I did from my instructors. I don’t care what a student’s background is — if they walk out of OCS thinking you can motivate people by screaming at them, then it’s the instructors who failed.”

The conversation came to a momentary lull as they each considered what had been said, distracted only by Kaidan’s continuing ministrations on Shepard’s back.

“Getting back on track,” Shepard began.  “Yeah, being dominated is a turn-on for me.  It’s not a requirement — I could go without it for the rest of my life — but it’s something I like. A lot.”

Kaidan pulled his hand out from beneath Shepard’s shirt. “C’mere,” he softly grunted, and Shepard laid back on the bed so that the two were lying side-by-side on their backs. He reached over to Shepard and put a hand on his cheek, guiding Shepard to face him. “So, when you say you like being ‘dominated’… what exactly do you have in mind? Ordered around? Tied up? Humiliated? Hurt?”

Shepard nuzzled Kaidan’s hand.  “Hmm… no to most pain, and humiliation isn’t usually my thing. I guess the real turn-on is… that someone else is using me for their pleasure. Used, but also useful, I guess,” he said thoughtfully. “Also… I really like handing over temporary responsibility for my body to someone I trust. That part’s not really a sex thing, it just makes me happy in a way I can’t put into words.”

Kaidan let out a little huff, mentally thanking anyone who was listening that he was falling in love with someone who could be so open with him. “I’m glad you feel comfortable admitting things like that to me,” he finally said, petting Shepard’s hair.

Shepard smiled. “I meant what I said about us knowing each other for three years,” he said. “The bedroom stuff is new, but I know you, Kaidan. Even if we had a falling out, you’d never use it against me. I trust you to know this stuff because I’m safe with you.”

Kaidan stilled and closed his eyes. Shepard could guess that thoughts of Rahna were flitting through his mind. “I’m honored,” Kaidan finally said, staring into Shepard’s eyes with a solemn intensity.

Shepard craned his neck to kiss Kaidan. “I believe you said something about making out until we’re both, quote-unquote, ‘aroused and thoroughly naked’?”

Kaidan let out a chuckle as he rolled face-down on top of Shepard. “I believe I did,” he said, leaning in to kiss Shepard’s neck.

Chapter Text

Shepard was absentmindedly nuzzling Kaidan in the afterglow of a particularly intense love-making session, when Kaidan suddenly broke the silence.

“I've been having the weirdest dreams lately,” Kaidan said.

“Oh yeah?” Shepard asked as he pulled his head away from Kaidan's chest.

“Yeah,” Kaidan said. “3 nights in a row, now. Different dream each time.”

Shepard pressed his head back against Kaidan's chest. “Hmph. Tell me.”

“First one, I dreamed that I was hopping between alternate timelines, because the timeline where I actually lived to adulthood was actually the oddball timeline. My mom was pretty upset when she found out, and she and my grandpa were trying to figure out how to save me in the other timelines so that I'd grow up to adulthood in all of them.”

Shepard squeezed Kaidan with the arm wrapped around the man's chest. “Timeline without Kaidan?” he asked rhetorically. “Me no likey.”

Kaidan snorted in amusement. “Not surprising,” he said sardonically. After a pause, he added: “It was weird seeing my grandpa alive again. I know he wasn't the best father to his kids, but he ended up a decent person by the time I got to know him. He died over a decade ago, but I miss him.”

Shepard nodded against Kaidan's chest. Kaidan had told him enough about his grandpa that none of this was surprising.

“The second dream?” Shepard asked, when Kaidan said nothing.

“Probably the weirdest of the three. I was a ‘meta-human’ -- superhero, basically -- and I was conducting a series of sabotage attacks against an alien force that had occupied Earth. My sister was also a meta-human but she'd sided with the aliens. It was one of those ‘are they good guys or bad guys?’ situations that pops up in anti-colonialist sci-fi, obviously,” he added.

“Wait,” Shepard interjected, “you have a sister?”

“Not in real life, no,” he said. “Only child. She was only there in the dream.”

“Anyway,” Kaidan continued, “I could fly and I had water-based powers, and the aliens were vulnerable to water, if it was pure enough. But by chance I ran into an invasive species that the aliens had accidentally brought with them... some sort of beetle that could fly almost as fast as I could, and it could transform luminiferous aether directly into fire,” he said. “The bastards were damn hard to kill,” he added with emphasis. “I actually died in the dream once, and then the dream reset to an earlier point. After that, the aliens and my sister actually teamed up to kill them, because the aliens didn't like them any more than I did.”

Shepard rubbed a hand down Kaidan's abdomen and thigh. “And the last dream?” he asked.

“Yeah, that...” Kaidan hesitated. “Okay, that one might've been weirder than dream number two.”

When Kaidan didn't continue, Shepard bit Kaidan's exposed nipple. “I'm thinking,” Kaidan hissed, gently bopping Shepard on the top of his head.

“Okay,” Kaidan finally continued. “I was in a science class back on Arcturus Station,” he said. “I don't remember the exact details, but basically we were learning about how different human biological states can be identified by taste of the skin.“

Shepard made a face, which Kaidan could feel against the skin of his chest thanks to Shepard's stubble. “Dream logic,” Kaidan said. “I was very confused for about 5 minutes after I woke up, because none of it made sense scientifically.”

“Anyways,” Kaidan said, “we watched a particularly wild action movie with lots of twists and turns, which was supposed to taste salty, then we compared the taste of our own skin with chromium chloride -- which, highly poisonous in real life, but in the dream you could safely swish the aqueous solution in your mouth so long as you spat it out. And then the professor switched from fight-or-flight hormones to sexual arousal... and things got a little heated.”

Shepard lifted his head to look Kaidan in the eyes. “Oh yeah?” he asked.

Kaidan chuckled. “Oh yeah,” he responded. “I got a boner watching two girls making out, then went down on a guy in the dream while twilight-brain Kaidan was trying to figure out where the lube was so I could jerk off in my sleep.”

Almost involuntarily, Shepard's hand moved to Kaidan's dick, which wasn't quite ready for round two, and gave it a light squeeze. Kaidan's cum from round one was starting to dribble out of his ass, he noticed. He laid his face back down against Kaidan's chest and smiled. “Okay, that's pretty hot,” Shepard said.

“Yeah,” Kaidan said. “Then suddenly it got less sexy and my primary concern was how to carry thirty pounds of textbooks to my next class without a backpack.”

Shepard snort-laughed then cupped Kaidan's balls. “You have the weirdest dreams, I swear,” he said. “Round two?”

Kaidan reached for Shepard's chin and lifted his face toward his own. “You. Are. Insatiable,” Kaidan observed.

Shepard pleaded with puppy-dog eyes. Kaidan huffed.

“Give me five more minutes,” he finally said, letting go of Shepard and shaking his head.