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Oswald Takes the Bullet and Jim Bites It - A Sequel to Gobblepot: Close Encounters of the Jimwald Kind

Chapter Text



Jim cried out, horrified, as Oswald threw himself in Jim’s way and took the bullet.


Oswald fell into Jim, knocking him to the ground, and he lay gasping and bleeding across Jim’s body.


He made the way clear for Harvey, who took a shot and dispatched Jim’s assailant.

Jim struggled onto his knees and took Oswald in his arms.


“Oswald, you idiot!  Why…?”


Oswald panted and looked up at Jim with misted blue eyes.  “I couldn’t…. let them…. hurt you.”


“Oh Oswald….”  Jim took off his jacket  and pressed it to Oswald’s wound.  The bullet had caught him right in the chest.  “It’s gonna be ok,” he soothed. Then, “Someone help!  Call an ambulance!” he yelled.


He crouched close to Oswald, who was breathing hard and wincing.  “Hang on in there, it’s gonna be fine..” he muttered.


“Jim….” rasped Oswald weakly.  “It’s ok….really….”


“Shhhhhh, take it easy…” Jim kept pressing on Oswald’s wound.  The bleeding was heavy. He pressed harder and harder and kept shouting for help.


People were running all over the place.  It was chaos, even though the gunfire had stopped. Harvey rushed over.  “What ...did he take a bullet for you?!”


“Yes, for God’s sake can someone get an ambulance?! I dropped my phone…”


“It’s taken care of, I already called.”


“Oh -thanks Harvey.  Can you help please? He’s bleeding badly….Shhh, Oswald, stay with me, please!”


Harvey took off his own jacket and together they knelt attempting to staunch Oswald’s wounds.


Oswald struggled to stay conscious, to focus on his lover’s face.  Harvey couldn’t mistake the way the two men were looking at each other -but he said nothing.


He’d never seen Jim look so scared!


The ambulance arrived just as Oswald passed out.  As his eyes closed, Jim lost control.


“No, Oswald, please!  Please don’t…” and he leant down and without shame or hesitation kissed Oswald on the lips.  “Don’t leave me, Oswald..” He stroked Oswald’s face and hair frantically. Oswald lay still and didn’t respond.  “Oswald...please!” Jim kissed him again.


“It’s ok, he’s still breathing…..we’ll take it from here.”  The paramedics picked him up gently and stretchered him away.  “He’ll need a blood transfusion….I think the bullet just missed his heart….”  Jim followed alongside the stretcher, talking to Oswald all the time. Then he stared dumbfound as the ambulance doors closed and it tore off carrying his little Oswald off  to the hospital...and hopefully, survival.


He was covered in Oswald’s blood.  So was Harvey. Harvey stood by his side and then laid a hand on Jim’s shoulder.  “I’m sure he’ll be ok.”


Jim was shaking.  He was in shock. “Harvey..what you just saw…what I said...”


“Never mind that.  Are you ok? Do you want to follow him?  I’ll give you a lift.”


Jim looked round at Harvey with haunted eyes and gave him a grateful smile.  “Yes, please.”


They drove along in silence.  Harvey was shocked about what he’d discovered of course - and seeing Jim kiss and tenderly stroke the face of the man they had both despised for so long had blown his mind! - but when all was said and done, Jim was his friend, and if he had suddenly decided to go insane and fall for Oswald Cobblepot - well, then, he’d have to live with that, at least for now, while Jim was clearly in such a traumatised state.


He could hardly believe that that little toerag had been brave and sacrificial enough to do what he’d done!  Maybe there was hope for him after all - that is, if he lived….then again, everyone knew that Cobblepot was notoriously difficult to dispatch….


But the look on Jim’s face now...the misery, the angst….the intensity of the pain in his eyes….he hadn’t seen that in a long time.  Despite his feelings of incredulity and dismay Harvey knew that Jim wasn’t faking or overstating his feelings. How it happened was beyond him, but no doubt all would be revealed in time.


They pulled into Gotham General.


Jim got out.  “Thanks Harv. I’ll take it from here.”


“You sure?”


“Yeah - you go back to the station.  You’ll need to report back...I’ll call you if I need anything…”


“OK.  And Jim…”




“I hope he’ll be ok.”





Jim was a man of few words, but the relief and euphoria he felt to see his little Ozzy’s beautiful blue eyes open and focus on him again was tremendous.


Oswald gave him a cheeky little smirk.  “Hey yourself, Detective Gordon.”


“You scared the hell out of me!”  Jim leant forward and gave his lover a kiss.  Then he reached for his hand and grasped it, holding on to it tightly.


“Well someone had to get you out of trouble!  You owe me a favour now Jim Gordon!” Oswald winked.


“Ah I see.  You must be feeling better!”  Jim squeezed Oswald’s hand emphatically.


He looked lovely lying there - looking all weak, pale and vulnerable….his raven haired beauty!  

His little blue-eyed martyr.  Jim doubted that he would ever be allowed to forget this - but he didn’t mind.  It didn’t matter! All that mattered was that his sexy little psycho, his crazy, cute Cobblepot, was alive and was going to be ok.




“Yes, Oswald?”




“Go on!”


“I just wanted to tell you..that I’m serious...about you.  And..about us…”


“Oswald, you didn’t need to…”


“I know I didn’t need to. But I wanted to. you…”




“It’s ok Jim.  I know you don’t feel the same…”


“No, no, let me finish.  You know Oswald, you really must learn to stop interrupting when we’re married….”

Chapter Text



Jim was astounded at himself.  He had come out with it, just like that.


Things just got madder and madder - but as he had reflected many times since taking that step across the threshold with his sexy little psycho, he would prefer this feeling of heady madness to one of dull sanity any day!


Oswald was so shocked and incredulous.


“Jim - wha-what did you just say? Did you..did you just actually...propose to me?!”


“Yes, Oswald.  I meant to say, ahem….will you marry me?”


“Jim - please don’t tease, I don’t think I could stand it!”


“I’m not teasing, Oswald - I mean it.  Well - what d’ya say? D’you think you could stand having a cop for a husband?”


“Oh, Jim  - I think you know the answer to that!”


“Well, yeah, I think I do...but I’d like to hear you say it, Oswald.”


“Well in that case - yes...James Mr Police Detective.  The answer is yes! I will take you as my husband.”


Oswald struggled to sit up in bed to embrace his lover, being so full of joyous excitement, but he was still too weak and in pain.  He grimaced and winced and collapsed back down onto the pillows with a sigh of frustration.


“Hey, take it easy!” Jim scolded gently, “I’ll come to you.”  And he rose from his chair by the bedside and knelt down right by Oswald, putting his arms around him.  Then he kissed him gently on the cheek. “Thank you,” he said quietly.


Oswald’s tears fell and he stared at Jim with large, glassy eyes.


“Jim  - this is like a dream!  You have made me so happy!”


Jim wiped Oswald’s tears away and cupped his face in his hands.  He kissed him softly on the mouth.


“Ditto,” he grinned.

“Can I help you, sir?”


This scenario should have been so familiar to Jim.  He had, after all, already got engaged on two previous occasions.  He hoped this would be third time lucky….


He definitely wanted sapphires.  They would really set off Oswald’s gorgeous blue eyes.  


Oswald had joked that maybe he should get rubies to match his wound, but Jim, of course,  hadn’t found this very amusing….


“Erm, yes, ok, thanks…”


“And what is sir looking for?”


“Well...erm, y’see, I just got engaged.”


“Oh, congratulations!”  the assistant smiled widely.


“Thanks!” Jim beamed in response.


“So you are obviously looking for an engagement ring.”


“That’s right, yes.”  Jim waited for the awkward moment when the assistant asked for the lady’s ring finger size, to which he would, of course, say, “Actually it’s for a gentleman,” and wait for the awkward silence, but this issue didn’t present itself.


“Do you know what kind of ring you are looking for?  I mean, gold? Platinum? What kind of stone?”


“Could you just show me a selection?”


Jim suddenly started to feel panicked.  He of course wanted to get Oswald the best, no expense spared if he could, but his meagre salary would be very unlikely to stretch to platinum or an expensive gem.  He visualised taking out an extensive loan - or, he joked with himself, even being forced to turn to crime! But no, he would find a way of affording it legitimately, somehow.


“Hello, Jim!”


He flinched and turned round, his reflections disturbed, to find - of all people…


“Barbara.  Hello.” His heart sank, along with the tone of his voice.  She would be here!


Barbara flashed her canines at him in a wide, vampiric smile.  “What are you doing here? Buying me an expensive gift to say sorry for jilting me?”  She gave a manic laugh and poked him playfully on the arm.


“No.  What are you doing here?”  Jim replied flatly.


“Oh...nothing..I was just in here window shopping!  Then I saw something I really liked..and came on over!”  She winked and looked over him in her feral, suggestive manner.


“Barbara, I….”


“Ohhhhh - Jim!  Really? I didn’t  know you still cared!””


Jim’s heart sank even further as the assistant brought across the selection of rings and Barbara spied  them with her beady eyes.


“Oh Jim - yes, of course I’ll marry you!” she squealed, and Jim shot an embarrassed look at the assistant, shaking his head.  “Not my fiance!” he mouthed, then touched his temple meaningfully, as Barbara continued to pore over the tray of jewellery with fascinated eyes.


“Barbara..” began Jim severely, and she looked up and shrugged casually, then laughed.  “It’s ok - I know they’re not for me..silly! But..I wonder who?” She bit her finger as if thinking to herself.


But before he could answer, she flounced off dramatically as was her wont, shooting a parting goodbye as she went,  and giggling knowingly to herself. Jim apologised to the assistant, who was pretty blase as he had ‘seen it all before, sir, don’t worry.”  


Jim knew that Barbara would find out about Oswald without asking him!  But he was almost sorry to miss the chance to tell her himself, just to see the expression on her face.


He remembered what Oswald had said about having their first public kiss in front of her….now that Harvey knew, and now he was going to marry Oswald, then there was no reason for him to keep this secret any more.  They could be seen out in public together! They could touch each other, kiss one another, without hiding away….and ‘Barnes can kiss my ass,’ thought Jim, ‘he’s not going to lay a finger on my fiance and he can’t do anything to me!  I am going to marry the King of Gotham and there isn’t a damned thing he - or anyone else - can do about it!’

Chapter Text

Two Treasures.


“The invitation….you ...kept it!”


Jim was running out of ways to keep his bored little Cobblepot occupied.  Or at least, distracted.


He was still confined to bed at the hospital as he wasn’t yet ready to be discharged.  However clever, quick-minded Cobblepot had read all the books from the hospital library trolley and was devouring all the books Jim had brought in for him.  Nothing seemed to satisfy his eager, restless brain.


He had wanted Gabe to bring him in work, but Jim had refused to allow that.


“Listen, Oswald.  When the doctors say rest - they mean rest!  NOT work. You’ll just have to be more patient.”


“I just want to go home.  And...I feel so lonely without you at night.”  Oswald gave Jim his glassy-eyed stare.


“Yeah, I know - I miss you too.”  Jim’s heart almost stopped. That look never failed to move him.


He scratched his ear and frowned.  What was he to do? He wanted his sexy little psycho back,  but he had been injured badly and had lost a lot of blood, and so needed rest and recuperation.


He had taken the crumpled-up invitation in his pocket.  He had wanted to share something with his soulmate. Something secret, intimate, and revealing about his feelings for his new fiance.  Sentiments he had denied for so long….but had always been there. Something to make up for the lousy way he had treated him back then….


“Yeah, I kept it.”  He shrugged, as if to say, “Go figure.”


“Oh, Jim.  That is so….sentimental of you….”  Oswald smiled coyly, batting his eyelashes.


“Well, Oswald - to be honest - at first, I screwed it up and threw it into the bin…”


“Oh,” Oswald said stiffly, his smile tightening.  “Well, that was rude!”


“No, Oswald, let me finish.  What I was about to say was…at the end of the day, I fished it out again.  I didn’t know why at the time. I know I never turned up to your opening night and I’m sorry.  I know I was a right asshole for not being there - when you clearly needed me. I guess….I guess deep down I knew it was wrong and wanted to have a keepsake….each time I got  this out and looked at it, I was reminded that I felt guilty about letting you down.”


Oswald’s face puckered a little.  “Well Jim - that was a very pretty speech!  I am touched….but anyway, I can’t lie to you Jim - it stung.  I came down to the station especially to give you that invitation by hand.  You were the only one I did that for, y’know.” Oswald batted his eyelashes again and pursed up his lips peevishly.


“OK, OK - I get the point, Oswald.  I am touched that you made such a special effort for me.  Really.”


And to seal the deal, he came forward and pressed his mouth softly and fleetingly against Oswald’s.  On contact, Oswald closed his eyes and sighed and his lips opened up into a smile.


“That’s better, you’re smiling again,” said Jim.


Jim knelt down beside Oswald and stroked his cheek lightly with the back of his hand.


“I remember, the excitement on your face when you saw me,” he said quietly.  “You couldn’t wait to present me with that invitation. And I just treated you like crap.  I made the light in your eyes go out. I am sorry. I really, really regret doing that to you.”


“Jim, Jim, you know I forgive you.”   Oswald returned the softness of Jim’s look and tone.  Jim inwardly sighed.


“Anyway, Mr Police Detective - do you remember that I told you then that you would come to me?  And…. well, here you are!” He shrugged and his feline smile returned, his eyes sparkling with triumph.


“Yeah.   I guess I eventually saw the error of my ways.”  Jim was eating a large slice of humble pie with a huge dollop of cream.  And Oswald was licking off the cream...and enjoying it!


Then suddenly Oswald’s smile faded and his blue gaze became misty and reflective.


“I sometimes...well, I mean, often….think that this all must be a dream, Jim.  I will wake up and you and I won’t and I. It won’t be ‘us’. It’ll just be little old me again on my  own and you working against me.”


Jim frowned with bewilderment. “Hey, mister, what brought this on?”


“Oh..I just get a little insecure at times that’s all.” Oswald sniffed and passed his hand through his hair with a quick, nervous motion.


“Well don’t. It’s not just a dream - it’s real.  And I won’t abandon you.”




“Yeah, of course I promise.”


Jim took hold of Oswald’s hand.  He placed the crumpled invitation inside Oswald’s palm and then closed Oswald’s fingers around it.


“Do you remember when you did this to me?  Now I’m returning the gesture. When you feel like I might let you down - just get out this lovely invitation with the umbrella on and look at it.”


“Yes,  I remember,”  Oswald beamed broadly, nodding vigorously.  “This is very...well, poetic of you Jim!” His eyes shone with pleased surprise.


“I guess your way with words really is rubbing off on me!” Jim grinned.


“Yes, it must be!  Anyway, thank you so much Jim.  I will treasure this. And I will do as you ask.   Unless, that is, of course...I should happen to throw it away!”  He wrinkled up his nose and chuckled mischievously.


Jim laughed.  “I guess I asked for that!”   


“You know, Detective Gordon, you do look handsome when you’re humble!”


“Do I?  Well, thank you Mr Penguin.  And you look sexy when you’re smug!”


“Touche.  I like it!”


“Good. You were meant to.  Erm..Oswald…”


“What, Jim?”


“Seeing as you mentioned ‘treasure’….well, there’s something else I’d like you to have.”


“Oh?”  Oswald was intrigued.  He sat forward, gazing at Jim curiously.  “And what would that ‘something else’ be, Mr Police Detective?  Surely you can’t mean to top what you just gave me!”


“Ha ha!  No, c’mon, Oswald, I’m serious.”


“So was I!  Anyway, do get on with it Jim, the suspense is killing me!”


“OK, OK….”


Jim fumbled inside his other pocket.  He was suddenly feeling a little nervous.  He brought out the box.


It was a small square box with rounded edges, trimmed with sky blue velvet.


Oswald’s eyes got huge and flashed like blue lightning.


“ that what I think it might be?”    His hands were trembling with manic excitement.


Jim just glanced at him, smiled  and flicked the lid of the box open.  His hands were a little unsteady now and he hoped he wouldn’t mess up.


Jim was already kneeling, but wanted to do this just right.  He had to be on one knee for this. So his shifted his position slightly, then presented the open box to Oswald.  He looked up into Oswald’s wide open eyes, taking in his lover’s adorable expression. He swallowed down the lump in his throat before speaking.


“As I didn’t do this properly the other day….Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot….will you….”


“Yes, yes, of course I will, silly!” cut in Oswald excitedly, clapping his hands with glee.   “Oh, Jim!”


Jim noticed with amusement the startling contrast between his new fiance’s sweetly excitable  tone and his ex-fiancee’s high-pitched squeal. Oswald’s voice possessed a soft, husky quality  that Barbara’s sadly lacked.


Jim took the ring from its box.  Oswald gave a little gasp and then offered his shaking hand for Jim to put on the ring.  Jim took his hand and then ceremoniously slid the gold band with its sparkling sapphire stone onto Oswald’s trembling finger. “Thank God, it fits!”  he thought.


Jim had been sneaky.  He had waited until Oswald had gone to sleep after taking his pain killing medication and then carefully done the old trick of tying string around Oswald’s finger to get his ring size.


“This is...just beautiful, Jim.  Thank you!” Oswald turned his hand this way and that to see how the gem caught the light and sparkled.


“Glad you like it!”  Jim cleared his throat.


“Like it? I love it, James Gordon, and I love you - not necessarily in that order!”  Oswald smirked. “The stone will go perfectly with my blue brocade tie.”


“And your eyes,”  Jim remarked, playing with his own tie distractedly.


Oswald beamed.  “Thank you for noticing that, Mr Police Detective!  Anyway, you can get up now. You have knelt before the King of Gotham long enough!  Arise, Sir James!”” he announced playfully. He reached out and ruffled Jim’s hair affectionately.


Jim bowed his head, gladly playing along, before he got to his feet.  He really did feel like a knight in shining armour. He reflected that it had cost him nearly a king’s ransom to afford that ring, and he would be paying for it for a good while, but it was worth it to see the expression on his gorgeous fiance’s face. And he loved to see that the sapphire matched Oswald’s eyes so perfectly.


He would have to share with Oswald what had happened with Barbara at the jeweller’s.  It was bound to make him laugh. He had at first thought that the idea of kissing his new fiance in  front of his old one was a little over the top, but he had had that encounter with Barbara, he was sorely tempted to go through with it.


Perhaps when Oswald was better - hopefully sooner rather than later - he would orchestrate something with his sexy little mischief maker.  After all, Oswald did have rather a flair for being dramatic….


Chapter Text


“A little raven haired beauty!  Ahhh, now I get it!”


“What?!”  Jim stared back at Harvey and frowned.


“A little raven haired beauty.  That WOMAN you told me about. It was Cobblepot!”


Jim shrugged and raised his eyebrow.  “You got me. Well done, Harv.”


Jim  looked away and pretended to be looking through some evidence.  Another sword-wielding assassin in broad daylight? What were the chances in Gotham?


He couldn’t help feeling distracted.  He kept thinking about his ‘little raven haired beauty’ lying in that hospital bed - no doubt feeling bored and acting fractious from being alone, and with nothing to keep him out of mischief.  


He wondered if Gabe had been sneaking work in for him to do now Jim’s back was turned….


Oswald was being discharged tomorrow, though, as his wound was much, much better, so that at least was something to look forward to.  He had so missed having Oswald’s warm, fragrant, slender body to hold at night. His bed had never quite seemed so cold.


“I should’ve twigged it.”


“Why would you?  We were careful….”


“Oh yeah, you were careful all right.  But now I think back, I did notice the way he looked at you that once, all lovelorn, and you looked like you didn’t mind one bit!”


“When was that?”


“Oh, a time ago. I thought I was imagining stuff, hell, I hoped I was! But...obviously not.”  Harvey pushed his hat back, scratched his beard and shook his head slowly.




“It’s ok, Jim.  I’m not being judgemental but…..Jesus, Jim, what the hell are you thinking?!”


“Harvey - no!”  Jim flashed a warning at Harvey with his deep blue eyes.  


“Jim, for God’s sake….”


“Harv - I’m warning you - you’re my partner and I really, really value your friendship, but please don’t push it - ok?”


“OK, OK...sorry...look, I don’t like you being upset with me Jim.  And….if you’ve fallen for Cobblepot then there’s not a damn thing I can do about it, I know that. gotta see it from my point of view. This is a huge deal for me Jim! I just can’t understand…”


“Harv - I’m going to marry Oswald.”


“Whaa-what?!”  Harvey stood open mouthed and transfixed.  Then he laughed. “Ahhh, I get it! You wanna shock me into silence….”


“I’m serious.  I bought a ring.  We’re engaged.” Jim put his hands on his hips to show he was earnest.


“Holy Mother!”  Harvey gasped. “I think I need to lie down...or throw up...or both!”


“Well, Harv, if that’s what you need to do, that’s up to you….but it won’t change my mind.  I love Oswald and we’re getting married, end of story.”


“Jim, listen to yourself.  Have you lost your senses?”


“I can hear myself Harv - loud and clear - and no, I haven’t lost my senses.  I’ve come to them. Sorry Harv, but I can’t help the way I feel….”


“Ohhh God. This is not happening….it’s just….not….happening….”


Harvey turned and rushed away, ignoring Jim’s pleas for him to come back,  and then kept walking until he was out of the building and on the street. He took deep breaths, inhaling the warm, grimy city air.  He felt nauseous. The bile rose in his throat and he swallowed it down hard.


First that Taran Tula woman all cow-eyed over Cobblepot, and now Jim!  What the hell was going on in this city?!

This just couldn’t be was a, a nightmare! He would wake up any moment and Jim would be all back to normal - despising Cobblepot and all he stood for…..

Jim walked up to Barnes’ office door and knocked hard.


“Come in,” Barnes called from inside.


Jim went in and closed the door.  There was something he needed to say - and do - before he lost his nerve…..


The GCPD had been all he’d known for so long.


Now he had deliberately turned his back on it.  Given in his resignation. Crazy but true. Maybe a new leaf was needed….


Barnes had at first been perplexed and bemused about his reason.


“You’re leaving to get married?  Erm...Jim….congratulations but..cops....well, people in general....don’t usually leave their jobs to get married….”


“I’m marrying Oswald Cobblepot.”


So now, he needed to find another he was fitted for but that didn’t involve the GCPD.


Well, there was always private detective work…. or maybe he could even do a spot of bounty hunting.  He was sure that would turn on his sexy little psycho. He had told him that he had found the leather jacket and stubble was rather arousing….that one time he had seen Jim in that guise….


He had to get something.  After all, that engagement ring wouldn’t pay for itself!  And he couldn’t ask Oswald to pay for his own ring, no matter how much money he had in the bank….

Chapter Text

Two Four Letter Words.


“Oh, Jim, of course I understand about your work.  I AM your work!”


Oswald grinned impishly and took a bite of the honey-dripping toast Jim had presented him with, along with the sweet, strong black coffee Jim knew his little gangster loved.


“Well, that’s very understanding of you, Oswald, but….”


“Now now, Jim...let’s not spoil our breakfast by talking shop!”  Oswald put down his slice of toast and stroked Jim’s unruly strands of hair away from his face.  “There are much better things to talk about. AND do!”


Jim was sitting on the edge of the bed, drinking his own coffee.  He had taken his little Ozzy breakfast in bed.


“You are spoiling me, Mr Police Detective.  Do keep it up!” he had been told seductively by his velvet-voiced little villain.


He had been trying to pluck up courage to tell Oswald about his resignation from the GCPD.  He had begun with, “Oswald - I know you probably don’t like me working for the GCPD….”


He was hoping that the breakfast, along with that sentence, might serve as a segway into a conversation that would then lead to his little ‘confession’.  He wasn’t sure how Oswald would take the news. Maybe he would be pleased - after all, he had said that he was scared deep down that the GCPD would take Jim away from him.  But maybe he would rather have Jim at the GCPD to serve his own purposes. He was a complex man, and that was one of the things, ironically, that he loved about him.


“OK, then what do you want to talk about - or do - Mr Penguin?”  He decided to play along and not push it. The sight of those sparkling blue eyes smiling so knowingly at him just made him feel weak.  


“Well, James - the doctors have told me that I can resume all normal physical activity now.” Oswald winked and smiled a wide, feline smile.


“Is that so?”  Jim put his coffee mug down on the bedside table.  He reached out and touched Oswald’s lips, drawing his finger across his favourite man’s mouth and feeling the stickiness of the honey left behind on them.  


Then Jim licked his finger slowly.  “Mmmmm, sweet!” he said.


Oswald’s eyes got exceptionally big and bright.  Jim noticed him swallow hard.


He grasped Jim’s hand, placed it back to his lips, and then opened his mouth, guiding Jim’s sticky finger inside slowly.  Then he began to suck on Jim’s finger, closing his eyes and humming with deep satisfaction.


“Ooh!” exclaimed Jim, feeling his face and body flush with intense excitement.  The feel of his lover’s soft, warm mouth sucking on his finger and the expression on his face made him...well, want to do stuff to him.  Bad stuff! He felt hard in between and so wanted to do something about it.


But he didn’t want to hurt him.  He had to be gentle! He had to restrain himself..rein in his feelings, just a little.  Despite Oswald’s reassurances about his health, he still had some misgivings.


“The bullet just missed his heart.”  He remembered the paramedics saying that as they stretchered his little Ozzy’s motionless body away.  He remembered all the blood. He recalled Ozzy’s eyes closing, his own desperate pleas for his lover to stay with him….


“Oswald - stop!”


Jim suddenly withdrew his finger from Oswald’s warm, soft mouth.


“What’s the matter, Jim?” pouted Oswald, plainly deeply disappointed.  He gave Jim his best glassy-eyed stare.


“I….don’t want to hurt you, Oswald.”


“Hurt me?  But I thought I told you, my Mr Police Detective.  You can’t hurt me!” Oswald smiled softly and stroked Jim’s cheek.  “And..well, I missed you! And I want to show you how much.”


“I missed you too Oswald….”  He put his arms around Oswald’s neck and pressed his forehead against Oswald’s.


“I...I’m scared Oswald,” he told him.  “I keep seeing it. Seeing you. Keep seeing you lying there in the street.  Bleeding. Passing out. I thought I was gonna lose you!”


“Oh, Jim.  You won’t lose me!  I keep telling you that….”


“Yeah, yeah, I know you do.”  Jim raised his head and stared back at Oswald with haunted eyes.  “But it doesn’t stop me being afraid.”


“Hey, shush now, Mr Police Detective.”  Oswald hugged Jim close. He pressed his lips to Jim’s ear.


“I will live forever just for you!” he whispered.  “That’s a promise, James Gordon!”


Jim squeezed him tightly.  “I’ll hold you to that, Oswald Cobblepot.”  He pushed Oswald away gently and grinned at him.  “Sorry, I got a bit needy there didn’t I? That’s not like me.”


“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Jim.  I’m touched that you care so much! Tell you what Jim - why don’t you just come back to bed with me and cuddle?   Unless, of need to get off to work any time today?” Oswald arched his eyebrow quizzically.


“Erm - work?  Nahhh - they’re not expecting me in today,” Jim scratched behind his ear awkwardly.  “Barnes - erm, gave me the day off.”


“Oh he did, did he?  Was it because of me?”  Oswald beamed meaningfully.


“Erm, yes, sort of,” Jim said, sort of truthfully.


“Well - I must thank Captain Barnes for being a model employer next time I see him…”


“Oh, that won’t be necessary,” cut in Jim quickly.  “Right, mister - does that offer of cuddles in bed still stand?”


Oswald smirked triumphantly.  “Of course!” He lifted up the covers.  “Get in Jim!”


Jim took off his robe and slid inside.  They both settled down. He snuggled up to Oswald and put his arms around him protectively.


“Mmmmm, that’s better, my sexy police detective!” Oswald purred, nuzzling in close against Jim.


Jim inhaled Oswald’s sensual scent, felt Oswald’s warm body close up against his. He was wearing pure silk pyjamas and the material felt soft and comforting against Jim’s skin.  He sighed deeply.


“I love you, Ozzy,” he murmured drowsily.   


“Oh Jim - you called me Ozzy!”


“Oh….erm….yeah….I did didn’t I?  Do you mind?”


“Mind?  Why would I mind?   You said it! said you loved me too….”


“Have I not said that before either?”


“No.  You’ve said it not in so many words..but not the...actual words.”


“Awww, well, y’know...I’m not always so great with that kind of stuff….”


“I know, Jim.  That’s what makes it all the more meaningful.”  


Oswald peered up into Jim’s eyes solemnly.


“And, Jim…”


“Yes...Ozzy?”  Jim gazed lovingly back.


“Don’t think I don’t feel scared too.  When I threw myself in the way of that bullet...all I could think was, that you were going to die….and that just wouldn’t do, Jim dear.  It wouldn’t do at all….”

Chapter Text

Climbing with Cobblepot

This time, Oswald stayed awake while Jim snoozed on and off in his arms.  

Jim was in a state of emotional exhaustion and had not realised it until he had gone back to bed and into the warmth of his lover’s arms.  Now it had hit him like a freight train and had taken its toll.

Oswald loved watching Jim sleep.  He had done that the very first ‘morning after the night before’, after their first time together.  The sight of Jim’s tousled head and serenely closed eyes had made him feel on top of the world.  And this had even topped the moment when he had stood looking down on his city, crying, “I’m the King of Gotham!”  Now, he was the king of this man’s heart.  Maybe that sounded corny but he couldn’t deny the truth of it.

Oswald  had spent so much time lying on his back in a hospital bed - which had, in the latter days of his recovery, bored him absolutely rigid, as well as making him sorely frustrated and lonely without having Jim beside him.  But it had also given him time to take stock of all that was most important to him.  And top of the list of priorities now - naturally - was Jim and their future together.

He was so ambitious for his fiance - even more so than before they had got engaged.  He had already made himself a success with his wealthy empire, and now he was keen to ensure that he achieved the same level of success for his future husband.

After all, marriage was all about sharing, right?  And equality.  What was his was Jim’s..and vice versa.

He reflected on what Jim’s previous fiances had tried to do for him.  Barbara and then Lee had both tried to push Jim up the ladder (Barbara pushing a lot harder of course), whereas he, Oswald Cobblepot...he would carry him!  And he would be more than glad to do it. 

He suddenly recalled what Jim had said as he had carried him over the threshold and into his bed for the first, and thankfully not the last time.

“You are so easy to lift!”

No, Jim would be no burden….no burden at all.

He had big plans for his police detective.   Big plans!  He would see to it that Jim succeeded and rose to the top.  Together, they would be unstoppable….the master criminal and his mister police commissioner.  

Yes, he knew for sure that Jim had earned and deserved that status, and he would be more than willing to give fate a helping hand.  Nothing was too much trouble where Jim was concerned.  And then they could work together.  Oh, the joy, the endless possibilities…..

Oswald’s smile widened and he sighed happily, squeezing Jim.  He couldn’t wait to share his hopes and dreams with him.

Jim stirred in response and started to wake up, his sleepy eyes gradually opening and focussing on Oswald’s grinning face.  He yawned and shifted a little, but not so much as to break Oswald’s hold on him.

He grinned back.

“Hey Ozzy.  How long have I been out for?”  He came forward and kissed Oswald’s smiling mouth.

Jim noticed that there was still a faint taste of honey on his lover’s lips.  “As if they were never sweet enough!” he thought.

“Well, you were in and then you were out, on and off, for quite a while, James.”  Oswald’s smile softened.

“Was I?”  Jim yawned again and stretched himself hard, and Oswald regretfully released him.  “What time is it?” 

Jim’s eyes were heavy with sleep and his head felt quite fuzzy.  He had slept but it had been a restless slumber  - full of strange dreams that he could barely now remember much about.  He felt vaguely unsettled about something, but he couldn’t exactly put his finger on what it was. He had a strange taste in his mouth.

“Don’t worry about the time….” began Oswald, but then Jim broke away, saying, “Anyway, I need to go to the bathroom.  Won’t be long!”

Oswald watched intently as his man left their bed and walked off to the bathroom, stark naked.  He ogled Jim’s bare butt with its firm little cheeks and admired the wide shape of his strong shoulders and slim body.  He knew that Jim had some fine downy hair on his chest and would be admiring that when his fiance came back from his little jaunt to the well as the other fine attributes that he now knew for certain that his man possessed.

Barbara and Lee just didn’t know what they were missing.  They couldn’t do, or one of them at least would still be with him.  Their loss was definitely his gain….

Oswald suddenly remembered how Lee had managed to insult him to his face when she had called him a ‘depraved sociopath’ right in front of him in a heated exchange with Jim.  Then afterwards, they had come to a truce when he had shaken Lee’s hand like a gentleman and told her not to think too badly of him.  He had been so magnanimous and this had been in a large part because of Jim.

“We are what we are,” he had told her, and she had smiled in begrudging acknowledgment and shaken his hand.  This had meant a lot to him at the time because of seeking Jim’s good opinion.

If only he could talk to her now!  He would tell her: “We are what we are, Lee.  And what I am is your ex-fiance’s fiance!”

Maybe she wouldn’t care, not now, not after all that had come to pass between her and Jim - but it would sure make him feel vindicated!

He reached over and grabbed Jim’s bedside alarm clock.  It was nearly midday.  He was hungry again, having left half of his breakfast during his unfinished shenanigans with Jim.  His stomach started growling.

He picked up the plate with the half round of cold, honey-soaked toast and began eating.

Then Jim’s mobile phone, which Jim had left on the other bedside table, started to vibrate.

Oswald glanced towards the door.  There was no sight or sound of Jim.

He knew he shouldn’t, but…..

He reached over and picked up the phone.  It had stopped vibrating but there was a message on it.  It was from Harvey.

Well, they were nearly married now, and married people didn’t have secrets from one another - right?

So Oswald quickly opened up the message.

“Jim. What the hell are you thinking?  You can’t resign!  Call me asap!” he read.

Chapter Text

Oswald is Magnanimous


Oswald’s response wasn’t what Jim had hoped for, although he had suspected that this might happen.


When he had returned from the bathroom Oswald had stood there, in his black silk pyjamas, and had dramatically presented the phone screen to him with its message -  and his heart had almost ceased to beat.


“Resigned?  What is the meaning of this, Jim?”


Jim had felt exposed as well as naked.


“I thought you’d be pleased.”  He went and grabbed his robe from off the bed, where he had thrown it that morning, and wrapped himself in it quickly as he spoke, but never took his eyes away from his lover’s indignant gaze.


“Pleased?  Pleased, how, may I ask?”  Oswald was tight-lipped and his eyes were on fire.  “You might have told me before we got to cuddling!”


“I know, I know..I tried to tell you.  Oswald, I wanted to show you...I wanted to show you that you mattered more to me than the GCPD.”


Oswald’s tight lips loosened - just a little.  He sighed.


He rolled his eyes and gestured skywards.  “Oh, Jim….Jim….what am I going to do with you?”


Then his mouth relaxed even more.  He smiled. “Come here, my ex-Mr Police Detective,” he sighed deeply.  He opened his arms.


“Oswald,” Jim sighed, highly relieved.  He went to Oswald’s waiting embrace. Once inside those  arms, he just didn’t want to come out.


He knew second chances were not in Oswald’s makeup and he was getting let off lightly.  And he was glad. So glad.


“I’m sorry, Oswald,” he rasped, into his little gangster’s shoulder.  He had lovely shoulders, he reflected. They were good and broad for such a slightly-built man….


He got squeezed in reply.


“We will figure something out.  We’ll get you back in. You have to be there, Jim….you know you have to be….”

Chapter Text

Make Up in his Makeup

“That black silk….erm, looks good on you, Oswald.”  Jim cleared his throat.  He stroked his hands down Oswald’s arms and down to his hands, feeling the contrast between the cool softness of the pyjama material and the warmth of the arms inside.

“Hmmm, thank you, Mr Police Detective.  If you’re trying to get round me by flattery, you are succeeding.” Oswald smiled smoothly and gripped Jim’s hands firmly.

“You got me,” Jim shrugged. He was relieved to be ‘let off the hook’ by his sexy little psycho, even though they both knew that Jim had acted for the best.  

“Well, James….I think it’s time to kiss and make up now - don’t you?”    He squeezed Jim’s hands.  His ice blue eyes stared at Jim with intensity...his pupils were dilated too….and his smile widened slowly and provocatively.

This made Jim’s heart fibrillate....and other parts of him spring into action.   He returned the pressure to Oswald’s hands.

“Yeah,” he grinned.  “Kiss and make up sounds VERY good to me!”  

They threw their arms around each other and kissed fervently.  Jim’s wet, hungry mouth almost devoured Oswald’s sweet, velvet-soft lips.

It had been so long….and their longing was so intense….

They felt each other’s rapidly mounting desire as their bodies got closer.

Jim pulled away, breathing heavily.  “Oh God, Oswald…” he gasped  “I missed this so much, goddamit!  You are so...frickin’.... sexy !”

“Oh, Jim….”  Oswald desperately tugged apart the belt on Jim’s robe and pulled it open.  Jim flung it onto the floor and Oswald stared open mouthed at what he had been denied all those weeks...through all those long, lonely nights….

“Quick, quick, Jim, I can’t wait much longer!”   he panted impatiently.

“Yeah, yeah, OK...…” Jim’s shaking fingers were fumbling with Oswald’s pyjama jacket buttons, in his strong need to look at what was inside that soft black silk.

“Oh me help you...”  Oswald was so pent up that he almost tore off the remaining buttons in his need to get things moving along.

“Thanks!” rasped Jim gratefully.  He felt blessed that Oswald’s hands were so graceful, and he couldn’t wait to experience again what amazing things they could do….

Oswald threw off  his  jacket and it fell to the floor, completely exposing his torso.  Now to get these pyjama bottoms off and get completely naked, he thought eagerly….

Jim’s initial look of delight at seeing Oswald’s revealed upper body changed dramatically as he caught sight of the scar on Oswald’s chest.  There it was...the small ring of ragged newly-healed flesh where the bullet had made its entry into his lover’s body. 

The shock of seeing it stopped Jim in his tracks.  He stood and stared forlornly at the evil red blight on Oswald’s otherwise flawless white skin.

“What’s the matter, Jim?”  Oswald was just about to pull down his pyjama trousers, and then noticed Jim’s aghast expression.  Oswald was so filled - and full - with sexual desire, especially now Jim was standing before him naked…..and he didn’t want anything to interrupt his lovemaking.  He wanted Jim so much it hurt..literally…..but the look on Jim’s face concerned him.

“That….that there….” Jim reached out and gently touched the place with his trembling hand. Jim’s voice suddenly sounded small, like a helpless child’s.  

This was one big bucket of iced water!  The mood had been changed  in the blink of an eye.

Oswald glanced down, his eyes following the line of Jim’s finger, until his eyes rested on where it was pointing to.  “Oh, that,”  he said dismissively.  “I’d forgotten all about that!”

“Forgotten?!”  Jim almost wept.  He wished he could forget….

He leant down and carefully and tenderly pressed his lips to the livid ring of skin.  He was filled with a feeling that he couldn’t quite put into words. Oswald’s body quivered slightly and he gave  a little gasp at his touch.

Then Jim found the three-word phrase he’d been searching for.  The words he thought he’d never, ever utter about  Oswald - and especially not to his face....

“You’re my hero,” he said, sounding far away and unreal.  He put his arms around Oswald’s slim waist, bowed his head humbly and laid it against Oswald’s breast.   He heard and felt his lover’s heart beating fast and strong inside.  His own heart was in his mouth.

Oswald had been startled - and very disappointed - when Jim had paused his actions, interrupting the lovemaking he had so been looking forward to, but had then felt Jim’s tender treatment and heard the tone of his voice, and his heart had raced with a different kind of passion.  His arms encircled Jim’s naked body lovingly.

Oswald gave a heavy sigh.  He felt humbled. 

“A hero, you say,” he murmured, almost as if to himself.  “I could never be a hero!  I will always be a villain.”  He kissed Jim’s crown.

Jim lifted his head and stared at Oswald with quiet pride in his deep blue eyes.

“Oswald - you almost died for me.  You were prepared to die for me!  That makes you a hero in my book,” he asserted strongly.

Oswald felt a lump come to his throat. He swallowed it down forcefully.  His eyes felt very wet, too.  He blinked hard and fast.

“Well, thank you Jim.  That means a lot to me.  And on that time you feel like being a hero on my behalf….please….make sure you ask me first, right?”  Oswald’s tone was stern but his raised eyebrow and shining eyes were playful. 

“Yeah, OK, Oswald.  Anything you say,”  Jim smiled with tacit understanding.

“Good.  Glad we are clear on that, Mr Police Detective.”    Oswald’s dimples grew and his eyes flashed like blue lightning.

“Yeah, me too.  And..erm...Oswald…”

“Yes, Jim?”

“Same goes for you too!”

“Touche, Jim, touche,”  Oswald conceded, with a wry smile.  “And now, James Gordon...after all that soul-searching, are you ready to have a little fun?”  

Chapter Text

First the Fallings Out - then the Makings Up…. (a tribute to Elke Sommer )

“Well!  That was….well….worth waiting for....”

Oswald lay on his back, his skin flushed and sweating, the glow in his afterglow not yet having dwindled.

Jim lay on his side with his arm across Oswald.  He stroked Oswald’s left arm and then reached down and grasped his hand.  Oswald knew his fiance was feeling for the ring with its sapphire stone, which he had put there and that was waiting for the moment when a plain gold band would become its close companion.  He wondered if that would be any time soon.

“I aim to please!”  Jim grinned.  He squeezed Oswald’s hand.

“Perhaps you would like me to reciprocate?”  Oswald looked at Jim with hopeful anticipation.

“Erm, well, maybe later,  Oswald.  I think that’s enough excitement for one day.  You need to rest now.”

“That’s considerate Jim, but you don’t need to wrap me up in cotton wool, y’know.  The doctors said….”

“Yeah, yeah, I know what they said..but let’s just take it a bit easy at first, eh?”  Jim pressed Oswald’s hand to his lips.  He kissed the sapphire stone on the ring emphatically.

“Anyway, I don’t know about you but I could eat something.  I bet you are starving, huh?  It’s past lunch time now.  And you need to keep up your strength.”  He winked.

“Well….yes, actually, I am a little peckish.  Thank you Jim.”  Oswald smirked gratefully and winked back.   He was indeed feeling fatigued - and very hungry - now Jim came to mention it.    He still hadn’t got around to finishing his breakfast….he had hoped that the loud sounds of their lovemaking would drown out the rumbling sounds in his stomach.  They had….

He was loving the feel of Jim’s mouth kissing his hand.  He had never known this degree of tenderness from, and physical intimacy with, anyone else and it made him so happy he could burst.

Jim had insisted on carrying Oswald to bed.  “D’you think you’re travelling to bed on foot, Cobblepot?” Jim had growled playfully. “Think again!”  Then naked Jim had lifted up his little half-naked Cobblepot and carried him over to the bed.  This sparked  off memories of their first time together...although on that occasion, they had both been much more shy….and much more clothed, of course….

“I need to practice anyway, for the big”  Jim had said meaningfully, with a wink.  Oswald had looked appropriately coy as he had been transported away, his arms slung tightly round his police detective’s neck….

He had to do his best for Jim.  He just had to!  Nothing was too much trouble for him.  He loved him so much….

First thing tomorrow he would start putting his plans together.  He would work out what to say and do, with whom, when and where. After all, timing was everything… but, most importantly of all,  love would conquer all.

He suddenly had a pang within as he remembered how Taran had been so helpful to him with all of his plans, keeping them together...and keeping him together, too.  She had supported him and kept his secrets - non-judgmentally - she had loved him….given him her undying loyalty to the point of pain, of torture.  He loved Jim very much, but he had loved Taran too; not in the way he loved Jim, and not in the way she had wanted him to love her, but it was still a kind of love.  He felt it still.  His heart began to ache.  He wondered how she was, and where she was..and whether he would ever see her again...

Then he heard Jim pottering about in the kitchen making lunch, pans and plates and cutlery clattering about and making sweet, discordant music together.  He smelt fresh coffee brewing, heard Jim whistling to himself, sometimes in tune and sometimes not; but clearly happy and light-hearted.  He felt his spirits soar again.  Yes, Jim..his one and only Jim!

He knew that he must soon go to see Captain Barnes….once his plans were finalised.  But Jim must know nothing about any of this….no, nothing at all….

Chapter Text

Oswald Bargains with Barnes.

Oswald smiled deferentially.

“I have great ambitions for Jim - and I’m sure you do, too, Captain Barnes.”  He leaned forward and rested against his cane as he spoke.

He had managed to get an appointment with Barnes, and was now standing facing the GCPD Captain in his office.  He hadn’t been invited to sit down, and he didn’t want to….even though his leg was starting to give him some grief.  He cursed the cold weather - it always irritated the damn thing to death!  But he had the height advantage, looking down and addressing Barnes’s stony face,  and so wasn’t minded to complain.

The police officers who were in the precinct outside Barnes’ office were trying their utmost to pretend that they weren’t sneaking a look at the scene that was unfolding inside it.  They were  failing dismally.

Harvey was nowhere to be seen - otherwise Oswald was sure he would have interfered in some way.  He wondered where he was and what he was up to.

“Yes - but I’m sure your hopes and dreams for him are far different from mine….”

“Oh, I wouldn't be so sure - after all, we both want order restored to Gotham, don’t we?  I can help you with that.”

Barnes grunted, but said nothing.  He had to admit that Cobblepot was right, in a bizarre kind of way.  He hated that thought, but nevertheless…. 

Cobblepot held a lot of sway in this city, and he would have to be careful how he dealt with him - especially now Jim was involved with him.

Maybe if Jim were to come back, he could use him as a conduit, maybe persuade him to turn State’s evidence - appeal to his sense of civic duty, while he still had one?

He was inwardly seething and wishing that he had Cobblepot alone in the interrogation room.  He would show him what his hopes and dreams really were!  But then again - how would Jim react to that?  Not well, he guessed.

He hated the thought of those two being together, and was still reeling from the shock - and the last thing he wanted was one of his best officers being involved with a criminal - but deep down, he had to begrudgingly admire the way Jim had stuck up for Cobblepot.  He was fiercely loyal to him, that was clear.  He had chosen his side and was sticking to it, for better or for worse.  On reflection, Jim had been very brave to stand up to his CO, and to be honest and stand up for Cobblepot the way he had - knowing what his response would be.

“I love Oswald,” he’d said, grit and determination all over his face and in his voice.   “I don’t care what you think and I don’t care if that doesn’t suit the GCPD either.  We are going to get married, with or without your approval, and so I’m resigning.”

Barnes was privately so jealous that he had never been subject to that depth of feeling, that level of love and devotion from anyone.  And Cobblepot did seem to be genuine in his affection for Jim too.  He couldn’t understand it.  It just didn’t make any sense to him - not even in Gotham.

Oswald inwardly smiled with triumph when he saw from Barnes’ eyes that he had struck a chord.   He now just had to hope that this would work.

He knew that deep down Barnes would love the opportunity to mete out some form of punishment to his person.  It was only his association with Jim that was stopping Barnes from doing so, he was sure of it.  He would have to make the most of that.

“Does Jim know you’ve come here to see me?”

“No!  No, of course he doesn’t!”  Oswald spoke indignantly and looked wounded.  “He would never agree to me coming here and speaking for him like this.  He’s….well, far too proud and independent.”  He paused wistfully for a moment and let that thought sink in.  Those were just two of the many things he loved about Jim.  And then there were those bewitching looks of bewilderment...his soulful deep blue eyes…..

“But,”  he continued, pursing up his lips thoughtfully, “Well….I felt I had to, you see.  Captain Barnes -  as you probably know, Jim only resigned out of loyalty for me.  It was a beautiful gesture on his part, but ill-advised.  I think we can both agree on that -  yes?”  He leaned forward emphatically and raised an eyebrow at Barnes.

“He tells me you two are tying the knot,” cut in  Barnes flatly, avoiding the chance to actually hear himself agree with Oswald’s last statement, which he felt would probably stick in his throat.

“We are affianced, yes,” confirmed Oswald proudly, bowing solemnly, and glancing down at and flexing his wedding band finger, flashing off the sapphire engagement ring that Jim had put there.  “I don’t expect that meets with your blessing,” he added provocatively.

Barnes caught sight of the flashing sapphire and flinched for a moment.  “Well, what you two have decided to do with one another is none of my concern,”  he replied archly.

(“Ouch!” Oswald thought.  “That was brutal.  It’s a good job I don’t care one iota about his opinion on the subject.”)

“Fair enough,”  he said aloud, shrugging casually.  “But….back to the matter in hand.  What I propose is this.  You go, in person,  and beg - yes, beg - Jim to return to the GCPD, and I guarantee to help the GCPD to cut crime by two thirds within the same number of months.”

“Oh?  And how do you propose to do that?” replied Barnes acidly.

“Ah well, that’s just it.”  Oswald sighed, with mock deep regret.  “I can’t tell you.  It’s very hush-hush.”  He lowered his voice and tapped the side of his nose to illustrate his point.

“No can do,” Barns growled.  “You can go to hell.”

“Yes, Captain Barnes - I know I can.  There’s no need for you to tell me where to go - or give me any directions on how to get there.”  He paused for effect, tilting his head and smiling meaningfully.  He wondered if Barnes would get the hidden message in his choice of words - and his mode of delivery - but he didn’t seem to register it.  

“But anyway - meanwhile, I believe I  - that is, we - really can do some good for this city.  I love Gotham, it’s my home, and I really want to make it safe again.  If only I could make you understand that too!”  Oswald’s look and tone became gentler and more placating.  He tried to appeal to Barnes’s softer, more sentimental side - that’s if, of course,  he actually had one.

Barnes just stared back at him, his expression deadpan.  That softly softly act might work on Jim, he thought, but it sure as hell didn’t cut any ice with him.  He really wanted to take Cobblepot by the collar, escort him from the premises, boot him up the ass and tell him never to come back again - but then he thought of Jim.  He knew he needed him back - and it appeared that the only way to persuade him to come back was to go along with Cobblepot’s suggestion - at least for now.  The mere thought of it almost killed him, but he might not have any real choice.  Cobblepot had some hold, some kind of power over Jim that he was sure he couldn’t yet break.

He hated to admit it to himself - but he actually kinda envied the son of a bitch for that!

“Well, say if I don’t agree to your…. proposal,” Barnes said through clenched teeth.

“Then I think we might have a problem, Captain Barnes.  I would hate to see the crime rate go up in this city….wouldn’t you?”

Chapter Text

Jim Wears a Mask for Oswald.


“Oswald, I’ve got a surprise for you.”

He had his back turned to Oswald, who had just entered the bedroom.

“What is it, Jim?” Oswald sounded intrigued.

Jim turned around and there was the owl mask - on his face.

“Jim - you kept it? The owl mask!?”

“Yes Ozzy. I think we can have some fun with this.”

“Why did you keep it, Jim?”

Jim smiled slowly. He thought this would add some spice to their lovemaking, and he had to get the roleplaying right.

“Well, when I put it on, I get a feeling of power. I feel kinda - well, masterful!”

“Masterful eh? Mmmm, I like the sound of that!! “

“So you wanna play? You wanna play - master and servant?”

“Oh yes, I do. Command me, Grand Court Master! I am your slave! “ Oswald’s eyes flashed with excitement.

“Very well, slave. Come here, my subject.”

Jim beckoned dramatically with his finger.

Oswald hobbled up closer, his eyes wide with desire.

Jim reached out and grasped hold of Oswald’s trouser belt. He pulled him forward.
He wanted to play. He really did. But he suddenly remembered….

He let go of Oswald. He stopped smiling.

“Jim?” Oswald’s fiercely bright eyes dimmed a little. “What’s the matter?”

“Oswald - do you remember when you waited for me outside my flat the day you came back - after Ed... tried kill you? When I thought he had killed you?

“Yes, of course I remember. You saw me and you said, “Oswald!” And you looked..well, a little taken aback.”

“Yes. I thought you were dead, and there you were, large as life again.”

“Well at least you didn't seem disappointed.”

“I wasn't. I was so happy to see you, but I played it down, I said…”

“You said something like, ‘I don't know why I’m surprised!” Oswald interjected, mimicking Jim’s gravelly sound.

“And you gave me that catlike grin, and said..”

“Well, you know me - I am notoriously difficult to kill!” Oswald cut in, mimicking own his facial expression and tone.

“Yeah, that's it! That's it exactly!” Jim grinned for a second, then became solemn again. He came closer to Oswald. He took him gently by the arms.

“Do you remember what you came to see me about?”

“Yes, Jim. I wanted to know who was ruling Gotham. And you didn't want to tell me. You didn’t want me to find out. You told me....let’s see, you said, “Oswald, if you know what’s good for you, drop it,” or something like that,” Oswald said, again trying his best to mimic Jim’s voice.

“Yes, I did. Just like that, Oswald!” Jim couldn’t help grinning at Oswald’s amusing impression of him.

“At the time I was exasperated with you, but then I thought, maybe he does really care about what happens to me after all.”

“Exactly. I did. And I do.”

“I think that’s the closest you came to saying I love you back then, James Gordon.”

“Yes, I believe it was. That's why I just stopped doing what I was just doing. I realised what that moment meant. I only just thought about it! Because the owl mask reminded me - it was about the Court of Owls, they were ruling Gotham and you wanted to know about them, and I knew they could hurt you - or worse. Just after you’d come back from the dead, you were going to risk your life again. And I didn’t want you to. I really didn't!”

“But then I ended up saving your life, James Gordon.”

“Yep. You did. And not for the first - OR the last time, Oswald Cobblepot.”

He reached out and tenderly touched the place on Oswald’s chest where the bullet had entered and where now there was a ragged scar reminding Jim of how close he had come to losing his love.

“I’m glad I finally appreciate that. And appreciate you,” he said quietly. A lump came to his throat.

“I appreciate you too. Always appreciated you.” Oswald gave Jim a soft smile.

Jim took off the mask. He felt that the mask and its associations might be just too near the bone for using for horseplay.

“No, Jim - put it back on,” Oswald demanded. “I like it!”

“But the Court of Owls….they all perished…”

“Which well, sort of, makes you the last surviving member, James Gordon. Don't you know what a turn on that is for me?!”

Chapter Text

“Don’t Ask About My Business”  (Silence is Golden).

Oswald gets home late and Jim Frets….

Oswald gets home late.  He limps quietly into the bedroom, trying not to disturb Jim.

He takes off his coat and jacket and hangs them in the wardrobe.

He sits in the bedroom chair and carefully takes off his shoes.  He sighs, yawns and stretches, and passes his hand through his hair.  He gives his aching leg a quick rub.

Then he strips off the rest of his clothes and gets into his pyjamas.

He hobbles over to the bed and slides in between the sheets slowly and carefully.

The clock on the bedside table says 3 am.

As he settles down Jim stirs.  He is lying facing away from Oswald.

He turns over and blinks awake, rubbing his eyes sleepily.  He yawns.

“Hey.  Did you only just come to bed?  I waited up for you as long as I could….”

“Guilty as charged, Detective Gordon.”

Oswald’s manner is weary despite the light-hearted jibe he often greets his lover with.  He sounds and looks exhausted.

“Are you ok?”  Jim asks, frowning.  He strokes Oswald’s hair back and kisses him softly.  He sees Oswald’s eyes are troubled  as well as heavy.  He knows better than to say “Where have you been?” or “What have you been up to?”

“Yes, I’m fine Jim.  Let’s just go to sleep.”  Oswald gives him an edgy little smile.

Then he burrows down against Jim’s chest, closes his  eyes and sighs deeply.  He clings to Jim tightly.

“OK, OK,” Jim rasps, getting the message, and wraps his arms around Oswald protectively.  He rubs his back and kisses his soft raven crown.  “I’m glad you’re home, Oswald,” he murmurs into his parting.  He inhales hard, enjoying Oswald’s warm, sensual signature scent.  Oswald grunts drowsily and sighs again, relaxing his grip a little.

Jim continues to stroke his sleepy little lover rhythmically.  He feels his man's warm, silk clad  body breathing deeply against his as he falls asleep.

He wonders what has happened.  He wants to ask but also wants to let Oswald rest.   He wonders if Oswald will reveal anything to him in the morning when they wake in each other's arms - but he won’t push it.  He knows better than that now.  He thinks that maybe Oswald doesn’t want to share the gory details, not let Jim be touched or tainted by them - although Jim wants to comfort him in his pain.   

He is glad and grateful  to have him back safe and sound, and this is always his main concern.  He will keep a vigil,  holding his lover’s  breathing body close and watching him sleep, until he eventually loses consciousness himself.

Chapter Text

Siren’s Wail - Oswald and Jim Give Babs the Kiss-Off.


Now was the time  to put Oswald’s carefully-orchestrated scheme into action.

“Timing is everything,” Oswald had said.  “And of course - stage management!”


Jim knew his cunning little gangster was very adept at both of these things.


His panache and flair for drama never ceased to captivate his beloved police detective.


“Oswald, how the hell do you think up all these tactics?” he’d quizzed with a baffled frown, scratching his head with puzzlement. This was after his cute little trickster had run through his plans with him in fine detail, chuckling excitedly and gesticulating wildly as he went.


“Well, that would be telling, Mr Police Detective!” his demonic little dandy had teased, winking his dazzling blue eye and grinning impishly.


His sexy super villain knew how to tantalise him….He had used to hate being kept guessing like this, but now he loved him, he really enjoyed being toyed with in such a way.  How times changed….and all for the better.


As per his own instructions, Oswald turned up to The Sirens the next afternoon - ostensibly to take advantage of the club’s new cocktail ‘Happy Hour’.  The Club had not been doing so well, especially now Tabitha was not around any more to act as a partner and foil for Barbara - and Butch had disappeared without trace not long after his crush had ‘exited the scene’.  So now Ms Keane, being somewhat at a loose end, was having to come up with all sorts of special incentives to attract people through the door.


The charismatic kingpin and his handsome future husband had quite a lot to celebrate, not excluding Jim’s imminent reinstatement into the GCPD - after a decent period of absence with full pay, of course - apparently, at Barnes’ insistence.  


Oswald wanted Jim back at the GCPD, but also desired some quality time alone with him before he returned to work.  He loved the novelty of coming back home to a hot meal prepared by his even hotter fiance every night, and although Jim hadn’t been the best cook in the world to start with he had improved with the help of several recipe books borrowed  from Gotham library.


And what he might lack in culinary skills he more than made up for by looking terribly sexy in that striped chef’s apron….more than one meal had been postponed by Oswald’s libido being driven wild by the sight of his delectable detective bending and sweating over a hot stove as Oswald had got back from a particularly taxing meeting.


They had found some pretty creative methods for relieving Oswald’s tension….and then ended up ordering in pizza or Chinese for afterwards, their dinner having, of course, gone stone cold or gotten ruined….not that they cared too much.  They would just sit in bed and eat their takeaway, Oswald giggling and feeding pizza to Jim, and vice versa with Jim chuckling huskily, maybe shovelling noodles into Oswald’s mouth with a pair of chopsticks.


Yes, Oswald had to admit that he was very much enjoying having Jim at home in their swish new apartment - unpacking their belongings after their move and getting everything set up ready for their married life together.  Jim was surprisingly good at setting up home - at least, when it came to ordering about the removals team. He was so masterful, standing there with his hands on his hips and his brow furrowed with determination, as he read the removals staff the riot act when they didn’t play ball.  That wasn’t half a turn on for his little Ozzy!


Jim was also very useful at positioning and repositioning the heavier objects until they were ‘just so’ - exactly as Oswald directed, of course, as Jim had absolutely no idea about interior decoration or the arrangement of soft furnishings, whereas Oswald had the most refined taste and judgement.  


Jim’s forbearance with Oswald’s pernickety demands seemed to know no limits.


“Your brains and my brawn work so well together!” he had chuckled, and Oswald, being too polite to agree outright, had said, “We are both very good at what we do, Mr Police Detective.  I really couldn’t manage without you!” and had touched his bad leg pointedly. This would make Jim extra affectionate towards him, which was, of course, always welcome.


Oswald wouldn’t be giving up the mansion (of course!)  but this spacious apartment was more convenient for both of them in terms of work in the city.  They could still spend weekends in the country, and to entertain, just like any smart, well-to-do married couple would.  He just couldn’t wait for that!


And now, he was ready for more than a little fun at Barbara’s expense.  Oswald loved to cause Ms Kean discomfort….it was one of his favourite pastimes...he so loved to play!


She already looked uncomfortable, but she didn’t know the half of it yet!  He stifled a giggle as he imagined what her reaction to his little ‘set piece’ might be.


“O-zzy!”  Barbara greeted him with the usual false hug and cheek kissing, attempting to conceal her real feelings on encountering him (which he could always read as clear as day in her eyes), and flashed her canines in a wide, dazzling smile.  She took a sip from the cocktail glass she had balanced between her elegant fingers with their garishly-painted talons. As usual, she was dressed up to the nines - on this occasion, she had on a glittering green cocktail dress that hugged her slender figure like a second skin, and that showed plenty of her ivory-toned flesh - revealing all whilst saying nothing.   


It was her own personal form of battle dress, designed to weaken the defences of any poor gentleman (or, in some cases, lady) who happened to try tussling with her, mentally or physically.  She was a veritable sex siren and used her weapons to the max.


All this was completely wasted on Oswald, of course….and she had been all too aware of that for some time….although it didn’t stop her touching him in a most over-familiar way, which he chose to tolerate because they had a kind of history.  And maybe, just maybe, deep down, as she had once belonged to Jim, he felt he might actually be hurting his lover by harming her by proxy - in a bizarre kind of way.


But he had come clad for conflict too.   He had made sure to clothe himself in his rich purple silk  waistcoat under his elegant dark blue tails, and to adorn his wing-collared throat with his best  blue brocade tie. This elegant ensemble, with its luxurious material and regal colours, was Jim’s self-confessed favourite  - and Jim had helped him make sure the knot in his tie was straight and the rest of his regalia was also looking perfect just before Oswald had left for the battlefield.  


“You’re right about this - it really does bring out the colour of your eyes!” Jim had grinned, patting the knot of the tie affectionately.  


“And it goes with this perfectly too - as I also said!”  Oswald had smirked triumphantly, lifting his left hand and carefully placing it against his collarbone, next to the tie, to show off the sparkling sapphire on his ring and the matching blue tones to full advantage.  He had even put on sapphire coloured cufflinks on his starched white cuffs. No detail had been missed.


“Yep.  It all looks great,” Jim had remarked  gruffly, as he had moved back a couple of paces to admire the spectacle.  There he stood….his pretty penguin-peacock….his little raven-haired beauty...all dressed up to kill.


Jim had a huge lump in his throat.  


Oswald hadn’t needed to ask “How do I look?”  The expression on Jim’s face had said it all.


The way Jim was staring at him with those soulful deep blue eyes was precious….just like the ring Jim had slid onto his finger as a sign of love and commitment….and as an overture to their hopefully impending marriage.


Oswald had very definite ideas about the kind of wedding they would have, and he had already started planning it in his mind.  He hadn’t run his ideas past Jim yet, but he was sure his police detective would go along with it. Jim knew how important this ceremony was to him, and how clever he was at organising and choreographing.  His talents would not be wasted.


He was wondering if Barbara had been tipped off about their engagement already - although he doubted that the only two people who were aware of his betrothal to Jim - i.e., Messrs Barnes and Bullock - would be likely to want to mention this news to anyone.


“Barbara.  And how are we today?”  He returned her superficial greeting and air kisses and gave her his best feline grin.  


“All the better for seeing you, Ozzy darling!”  She pawed at his arm in her usual gushing way. He inwardly grimaced but looked back at her levelly and stretched his smile even further.  


“Anyway - what brings you here?”  she enquired casually, leaning against the bar and taking another sip of her cocktail.


“Me?  Oh, I’m meeting someone here for drinks - in fact, they really should be here by now!”  He glanced at his watch with an expression of mild irritation and tutted impatiently.


“Never mind, maybe I could just peruse that  ‘two for one’ cocktail menu that you have advertised outside while I wait….” he continued pleasantly.


“You’re meeting someone?” she echoed, her beady eyes wide with curiosity. “And who would that be?”


“Oh, just a friend,” he said casually.


“Just a friend?  Oh, Ozzy! There’s no need to be coy!”  she coaxed, poking him on the arm playfully, her smile stretching out into full vampiric mode.  “Go on, tell me. Who is it? Did you get lucky? Eh?!” She poked him sharply again.


“Barbara, really!” he protested with mock indignation, rubbing his arm as he spoke. “I refuse to dignify that with a response!”


“Ohhhh - Ozzy!  You DID get lucky!”


“My lips are sealed. I’m saying nothing else.”  He looked nonchalant.


Barbara bit her finger thoughtfully.  It was clear that the suspense was killing her.  “Good,” he thought.


“Please, Ozzy.  Tell me who it is.  I mean, it can’t be Ed, surely - he tried to kill you, ha ha!”” she persisted, with a little hysteria coming through in her voice.  He could see she was dying to drag it out of him, but he loved to keep her dangling.


“No, it’s not Ed - of course!” he said stiffly.  


“Well, anyway - you will see who it is, soon,” he continued drily.  “I suggested this place because we needed peace and quiet, and so I thought your club would be perfect!”  He took a slow, meaningful glance around the deserted bar.


“Well, it’s early yet - it will soon get busy, Ozzy,” she replied coolly, but with a defensive edge to her tone.


“Of course. No offence intended,”  he replied, bowing his head with forced politeness.


“None taken!” she said with fake gratitude.  “Anyway - if you want a cocktail while you are waiting for your...erm, ‘friend’, WINK, whoever they are, then I will get you the list….”


She clicked her manicured fingers impatiently at the bar steward, who was hovering nervously nearby.  “Cocktail menu - now!” she snapped. The bar steward scurried over and handed her the menu. She snatched it away, then presented it to Oswald with a dramatic flourish.  “Here you are!” she beamed broadly.


“Thank you,” he said grandly, then took it from her ceremoniously.   He opened it up, placed it on the bar and pretended to be reading through it.


Then he casually put his left hand up to his cheek, as if musing on his choice.   


From the corner of his eye he saw that her gaze was fixated on the movement of his finger as he began to tap thoughtfully on the side of his face.  She couldn’t miss the sparkling blue gem flashing on his wedding band finger….


He stopped reading and looked round at her curiously.  “Is anything the matter?” he said nonchalantly.


“No, not at all” Barbara lied.


At that moment,  Jim burst in through the door.


Barbara nearly jumped out of her skin, and narrowly avoided spilling her drink.


Jim paused momentarily in the doorway and shrugged apologetically.  “Sorry, Oz,” he panted. “The traffic was a bitch!”


He dashed over to Oswald, breathing hard.  He passed by Barbara, ignoring her completely, just focussing on his man’s frowning face.


He was unshaven and was wearing jeans, a t-shirt and a distressed leather jacket - his laid-back, off-duty look.  Or, as Oswald preferred to call it, his ‘sexy bounty hunter persona.’


“Jim..Jim..what am I going to do with you?”….” Oswald began,  but Jim leaned in, took Oswald by the chin and kissed him fleetingly on the mouth.

They both heard Barbara’s shocked gasp, but didn’t take their eyes from one another.


“There.  Do you forgive me?”  Jim asked quietly.


“Hmmm, well, maybe….but I’m not quite sure, James….”


“I see - well then, let me try again.”


And then Jim took his lover’s face in his hands and pressed his mouth firmly against Oswald’s.


Jim closed his eyes tightly, feeling Oswald’s intense excitement and desire in his quick, panting  breaths. Oswald put his hands to Jim’s head and leaned in eagerly to the kiss. Jim pushed hard, manipulating Oswald’s lips apart.   Jim guided and stretched Oswald’s lips wider, and then smooched him long and slow, gently caressing the firm line of his jaw with his finger as they kissed.  


They stayed together for as long as they could.  When they had to finish, their lips pulled away with a soft smacking sound.


“There, am I forgiven now….Mr Cobblepot?”  Jim enquired. He continued to stroke Oswald’s cheek and stare into his eyes, both men completely forgetting about and ignoring the presence of their shocked bystander.  Oswald’s slightly-parted lips and misted, half-closed eyes spoke volumes.


“Oh, Jim, yes….of course you are! “  he breathed. He had been going to follow this up with,  “But you really must be more punctual once we are married, Detective Gordon,”  but he was still reeling from the impact of the kiss.

It had almost taken his breath away, and with it, most of his prepared script.  It had felt like they had kissed for the very first time all over again….but this time, it was tender, romantic and sublime.  


Their very first clandestine kiss in that alleyway had been spontaneous and sexy, Jim taking Oswald completely by surprise, but this time it had felt so much sweeter - a proper lover’s kiss.   They had both completely forgotten about their audience….and their original purpose for being where they were. They were somewhere only they knew, in their own little bubble of being.


Jim smiled.  He smoothed back Oswald’s raven fringe and kissed his forehead gently.  “Good,” he whispered.


Barbara just stood there slack-jawed and speechless.  She couldn’t believe what she was seeing….what she had just witnessed.  She went to take a drink to steady her nerves, missed her mouth and spilled her Martini all over her cleavage and down her expensive new dress.  


“Oh, crap!”  she barked, coughing and  spluttering and frantically wiping down her dress.  “Napkin - now!” she barked over at the bar steward, who jumped to it like a frightened sparrow. Any dignity she might have possessed had deserted her completely.


“Best encounter ever - in more ways than one!” thought Oswald, as he came to, remembering where he was and why he and Jim were there.  He glanced round at his shocked, soaking wet host and smirked at her with intense satisfaction.


“Oh, Barbara,” he said casually,  “I believe you’ve met my fiance….?”

Chapter Text

After the Kiss-Off.


Oswald’s plan had come off, had come together successfully, although not in the way he had expected.

They hadn’t stuck to the script word-for-word. The scheme he had composed had been faultless to a tee, and although he and Jim had got lost so much in their own little world, the desired effect had been the same. And the effect of their desire had been to aim true and hit the bullseye.

At first, Oswald had wondered, if only briefly, if it would be a tad too cruel to kiss Barbara’s-ex-fiancee-now-his-betrothed in front of her. It would really be rubbing that perfect little nose of hers in it.

But then, he had recalled just how vicious had been her treatment of him, along with Tabitha and Nygma. Tabitha had almost throttled the life out of him with that evil whip, and she had taunted him mercilessly over his mother’s murder, rubbing so much salt into his wound. And Barbara had just stood there and laughed about it!

Oswald had pretended to be forgiving towards Barbara for her part in it - to make her think he had let bygones be bygones - and now, this was the best way he could think of to hurt her mentally. He had more than an inkling that she still harbored affections for Jim, no matter how much she tried to protest to the contrary. He could read the love in her eyes for Jim, just as he could see in her eyes that she held him in contempt.

No, her facade didn’t impress him or fool him one iota - not any more….

And he was glad to make her hate him even more for taking Jim away.

“Come, James,” he had said, after they had kissed and he had delivered the coup de grace so gracefully. “Let’s go somewhere a little more….upbeat. It feels like a morgue in here!”

Chapter Text

Oswald’s Night Terrors

Jim was suddenly shaken awake by Oswald’s trembling, weeping presence in his arms.

“Hey, Ozzy,” he soothed, “Shush now, don’t cry.”  He cradled Oswald tenderly and kissed his crown.  “What is it?  Did you have a bad dream?”  He gave him a little squeeze.

“Oh, Jim - I’m sorry to wake you up....” Oswald sniffed, the tears still running down his reddened cheeks.

“Shhh, don’t….” Jim stroked Oswald’s raven hair rhythmically, comforting and calming him.  “Tell me about it,” he rasped.  “Tell me what made you cry.”

“It mother, Jim.  I keep seeing her....her face, when she was dying….”  And Oswald’s tears fell afresh, and faster.  “There was nothing….I could….do!  It was all my fault...”

“Oh, Oz….it wasn’t your fault.  We know it was the Galavans.”  Jim wiped Oswald’s tears away and ran his fingers slowly through his soft dark locks.

“But...if I hadn’t trusted Butch...if I’d worked out that it was a trap….”  Oswald’s eyes filled up again.  They looked like shimmering blue glass...although he hated to see Oswald in such a  traumatised state, Jim had to admit that his eyes looked stunning in their sorrow.

“You weren’t to know, sweetheart,” Jim rasped.  “You shouldn’t blame yourself.  Your mother...she wouldn’t want you to.”  He put his face close to Oswald’s, then made tentative contact, their cheeks softly grazing.  He nuzzled him and gently kissed his ear, before pouring soothing sounds into it.

“She loved you, and so do I.  Don’t hold yourself responsible….please....”

Jim felt Oswald sigh and his sobs begin to subside.  “Thank you,” he whispered hoarsely into Jim’s neck.  “That means the world to me, Jim.”

“Do you feel better then?”

Oswald pulled away and looked at Jim sheepishly with his swollen eyes and runny nose.  He wiped his face with the back of his hand and sniffed deeply.  “I feel foolish, Jim.  I keep crying like this in front of you - what must you think of me?  I mean - I’m a grown man, for God’s sake….”

“Stop that right now, Oswald Cobblepot.  You have every right to be upset, and you have  nothing to be embarrassed about.  But I’m here now - just remember that.  You can cry on me anytime you want.  And - let’s get you a handkerchief, and clean you up, eh?”    He smiled good-naturedly and winked.

“Just a second - I have one under my pillow….”  Oswald smiled back and fished out the blue silk square.  He always remembered to put a handkerchief under his pillow at night, for he was used to waking up in such a mess on a regular basis.  

Having said that, he hadn’t had this nightmare for ages - not since he and Jim had got together - but now it seemed to be invading his sleep again, and also, effectively, disturbing his lover’s rest too.

But he should have known that Jim would understand and support him.  He was so happy to be in Jim’s loving embrace….and not to wake up alone.

“And Oswald,” Jim added, as they were about to settle down to sleep again, “Remember - I get anxious sometimes too, and you’re always there for me.  It’s what friends  - and lovers - are for, right?”

Chapter Text

Jim’s Killer Nightmare.

It was Jim’s turn to wake up shivering, gasping, and sweating.  Oswald woke up with a start.


“Jim..Jim...dear...are you alright?”


Jim panted hard, looking back at Oswald with large, haunted eyes.


“Jim -  what’s the matter?”  Oswald stroked Jim’s arm lightly with the back of his hand.


Jim didn’t answer, but continued staring at him with a confused, distressed expression.


Oswald stroked back his lover’s hair.  “Jim?” he repeated anxiously. “Say something, please.”


The look in Jim’s eyes was frightening him.  


Jim blinked and seemed just to be waking up.  “Oh - Oz - I’m sorry,” he rasped. His face crumpled and he collapsed against Oswald’s body like a limp rag.  


“Jim!” cried Oswald anxiously, thinking that Jim had passed out.  He rubbed Jim’s back vigorously.


But then he felt Jim’s body move and his head raise up again.


Jim looked up and Oswald sighed with intense relief.  “Oh, Jim - thank God! You scared me to death, dear!”


“Sorry,” Jim repeated, staring back at Oswald ruefully.


“Hey, Jim…Jim, don’t apologise..please…” Oswald stroked back Jim’s hair again.  His lover’s face was sweating profusely. He must have had a very traumatic dream to cause these symptoms.


“Jim dear,” he coaxed.  “Are you alright?”


“Yeah, yeah, I’m ok.”  Jim smiled sheepishly. “I think I woke up in the middle of my dream.  It was almost like I was still there. I...I’m sorry I scared you, Oz.””


“James.  No need for apologies.  I was just worried about you, my dear.  I thought you had fainted.””


“Oh, no I didn’t.  Just felt a bit weird.  I had a bad dream, and didn’t realise I’d woken up.  I think I just had a bit of a shock.”


“You’ve had night terrors as well?  Awwwww, Jim!” Oswald caressed Jim’s cheek.   “Well, well, this is turning out to be one of those nights, isn’t it, eh?” He tilted his head and smiled.


Jim smiled back.  “Yeah, I guess it is.”


“ So, then, tell me, James - what was your nightmare all about?”


“Oh - really, sweetheart, you don’t want to know….”


“Yes I do, James Gordon,  or I wouldn’t ask, now would I?  Come on, Jim,” he coaxed, “Tell your Ozzy all about it.  Oh and by the way, thank you for calling me ‘sweetheart’.  I really like that!” He gave Jim an extra wide dimpled grin.


“Yeah,” grinned Jim, “Well, you are a sweetheart!”  Then he became solemn again.

“Erm - the thing is...sweetheart…. I’m afraid my dream, might...well, upset you.…”


“Upset me , you say?  I very much doubt that.  And anyway, what if it does - it clearly disturbed you - Jim dear.   Let’s share and share alike, shall we?” Oswald winked.


“Well, OK then - thanks,”  Jim smiled gratefully. “But...well, this will be hard for me to describe to you.”


Oswald stroked Jim’s arm.   “Take your time, James. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”


“I know, Oz.  Thanks.” Jim glanced away for a moment and swallowed hard before speaking.


“Oswald….do you remember that night when….erm, when Fish died? I mean - the last time she was killed, for real?”


Oswald grimaced.  He hoped Jim hadn’t noticed.


“Oh.....yes, of course I do, Jim…..”


“Yep, of course you do. And you know who killed her…”   


“Yes, Jim, I know, but….”


“I did.  I killed her.  And that’s what I was just dreaming about...reliving it….here in this bed, sleeping right next to you!”


“Look, Jim…..”


“I killed her, Oswald - and then,  I almost killed you, too!”


“Jim, Jim….please….it wasn’t you….it was the virus!  We both know that now.”


“Maybe so, Oswald.  We both know it now.  But I still did it! I still killed Fish, and I attacked you too.”




Oswald continued to stroke Jim soothingly.   He felt the sinews in Jim’s arms flex with all the tension.  The movement of Jim’s muscles felt beautiful beneath his fingers, but he wished to comfort Jim, calm him down, and take away his torment.


“I think...I think it was because of what you said about your mother when you woke up earlier,  Oz. It must have triggered the memory.”


“Triggered the memory?  How, dear, and why?” Oswald coaxed.


“Well, Fish was kind of like a second mother to you, wasn’t she, even though she hurt you and even though you two were always at odds.  And then there you both were, just about to reconcile, and then I went and killed her! So in a way, you see…. I killed your mother.   I’ve always felt  bad about it, deep down, y’know, but pushed it to the back of my mind.  Until now….”


“Oh, Jim - Jim dear, you shouldn’t take on so!  I guess she was like a mother to me - in a way - although of course, she had a very different approach to parenting than my ACTUAL mother!”  Oswald laughed harshly.

“But….seriously….Jim…. listen,” he resumed.   “It was an accident, and anyway, you weren’t in your right mind when it happened.   I realised that a long time ago and I don’t hold you accountable. I mean, I know I was upset with you at the time….”

“You were beside yourself with grief and anger, Oswald. You said, “People call ME a monster! You, Jim Gordon - you’re the monster!” You were up for killing me!”

“True, I know….”

“And then I grabbed you by your throat, and lifted you up by it...and said, ”Yes, I AM a monster!” “ completed Jim, with a shudder. “Oh Oz. That was a terrible moment! I hate that I did it to you, especially after I’d just caused the death of someone who had become so dear to you.”

“Yes, well, I can’t deny it Jim, at the time, I thought, well, that I was quite possibly going to die.  But Jim, you were in a very bad place! And you caught me on a very bad day, too. Plus, as we have already said, you were in the throes of the virus.  You weren’t yourself.”


“I could have killed you, sweetheart.  I can’t get that out of my mind. It doesn’t bear thinking about!”


“But you didn’t!”


“Thanks to Harv, yeah.  If he hadn’t intervened….”


“But he did.  And now here we are.  And there’s nothing to forgive, Jim dear.  Really!”


Jim stared incredulously at Oswald’s earnest face.    


“Now I really am sure that I don’t deserve you, Oz.”


“Yes, you do, James Gordon.”  Oswald blinked away tears and his bottom lip quivered.


“That’s very generous of you Oz.  But d’you know what I’d like to do now?”


“No - what would that be, Jim?”


“I’d like to kiss you better- you know, where I hurt you before….”


And Oswald’s tears diminished and his dimples grew in a smile that said, “Yes please, Jim, I would love you to do that.”  


And so Jim took Oswald’s face in his hands, first kissing him on his mouth and then slowly pressing his lips against his throat and neck.


Oswald closed his eyes and sighed, lifting up his chin  and making softly appreciative sounds as each kiss was planted.  He couldn’t get enough of the feel of Jim’s warm mouth making such tender contact with his skin.  This was such a startling contrast to the way Jim had grabbed him so roughly by his neck and almost crushed the life out of him on that fateful night.


But that was not the real James Gordon.  This man...the one who lay here with him, being so loving, humble and gentle....he was the genuine Jim.  He knew that now and didn’t ever want to let him go.


He also didn’t want the kisses to stop, but like all good things, they had to come to an end.


“That was lovely, Mr Police Detective”  he beamed, staring into Jim’s quiet deep blue eyes.  He ran his fingers through Jim’s fair hair affectionately.  


“Glad you liked it,” Jim rasped.  “I just wanted to make up for how rough I was before…”


“Oh, believe me Jim - you have more than made up for it!  And now, my dear James, come here.” He opened his arms and beckoned Jim inside.


Jim complied without hesitation, snuggling in eagerly against Oswald’s welcoming body.


“I love your cuddles, Cobblepot!” he rasped happily, as Oswald’s arms enfolded him.


“Well it’s good to know they’re not being wasted, Detective Gordon!”


“Yeah, that really would be a crime!”


Oswald chuckled.  “Ha ha! Yes, it would!”


“Seriously, Oz - I can’t believe I resisted you for so long.  Look what I was missing out on.”


“Well, Jim, better late than never - right?”


“Yeah - of course.  You’re right - as always!”


“Thank you, Jim.  And...Jim...just one more thing before we go back to sleep….”


“Yes, Ozzy - sweetheart?”


“Don’t apologise to me for anything like that ever again.  What’s past is past. Think about the future.”


“Our wedding!”  Oswald could hear Jim’s smile in his sleepy voice although his face was turned away, nestled comfortably against Oswald’s shoulder.


“Yes, our wedding, Jim.  Think about that…” He stroked Jim’s hair distractedly.


“Do you have big plans,  Ozzy?” Jim slurred, the soothing movement of Oswald’s hand clearly taking effect.


“Well of course - you know me, never do anything in half measures.”  Oswald giggled mischievously and kissed Jim’s crown.


“I’m sure it will all be perfect.  Just like you….Ozzy….baby….”


“Why, thank you, Jim.   What a lovely thing to say….anyway, just to let you know that I’ve been looking at caterers and….”


Oswald stopped mid-sentence as Jim began to snore.

Chapter Text

Oswald Learns a Lot About Prejudice.

“That’s a very fine piece o’ jewellery,” remarked the gangster.

He was eyeing up the ring on Oswald’s finger.

“Thank you,” replied Oswald proudly, flashing a quick glance at his treasure.

“I like sapphires.  Gave my wife a ring very much like that....let’s see....for our first wedding anniversary.  Women love jewellery, am I right, or am I right?”   laughed the gangster.

“Yes, I suppose they do,”  replied Oswald warily.

“But, erm, that thing on ya finger - it looks a bit like an engagement ring to me. Pretty expensive too, I’d say.”

“Erm, yes it is.  An engagement ring, that is.  And  I don’t know how much it cost. I didn’t buy it.”

“Bit unusual - I mean, for a guy to be wearing an engagement ring, right?  Never heard of that before.”  The gangster looked at Oswald quizzically.

“Well - there’s a first time for everything -  right?”  Oswald smiled pleasantly and shrugged.

“Hrm, guess so.  Anyway - who’s the lucky lady eh?  She sure seems to have expensive taste.”

Oswald knew that this man was perfectly aware of what the answer was - he could see it on his face - and he was just waiting for the moment when Oswald would say the magic words.

He could lie.  He knew he could.  But why should he?  Anyway, this man had already made up his mind what the answer was, and how he was planning to deal with it.

This guy was a big guy - very big - and could probably beat him within an inch of his life if he had a mind to.   And this guy had ‘homophobic’ written all over him.

The ‘kill him but don’t kiss him’ approach.  He knew it too well.

But how long should he keep this a secret when he and Jim were going to get married?

So he took the bit between his teeth and did something he never ever thought he would.

He told the truth when he knew it would hurt him.  Possibly, a lot. 

But he had Gabe and the guys to back him up - right?

He had to be honest with himself - he was never really quite sure how loyal any of them would be if they were faced with such a dilemma.  He didn’t know what their views were on his relationship with Jim now they knew, and they never voiced their opinions because they were probably just too scared of him.   Besides, Gabe wasn’t exactly the brightest tool in the box, he was just a big dumb ox of a guy.  Just a heavy with all the brawn and none of the brains.

But he would take the chance if he had to.

“The person who bought this for me is no lady,” he said ambiguously, pointlessly trying to buy himself some time.

“No lady?  You saying a tramp bought that for you?  Pull the other one, fella!”  Big Guy laughed loudly and his henchmen joined in as he looked round and prompted them.  They were clearly too afraid not to.

“I’m not saying that a tramp bought it for me.”

“Then what are you sayin’?”

Oswald took a deep breath and looked Big Guy squarely in the face. He tightened his smile and stared straight into the mobster’s eyes.

“I think you know what I’m saying, sir.”

“Yeah.  You’re saying you’re a fag.  And I don’t do business with no fags.  No -  sir.”

Out of the corner of his eye Oswald saw Gabe shift his position slightly.  He couldn’t  tell if he was going to protect him or run out on him - but it was too late to worry about that now.

He just knew that he couldn’t tolerate this guy’s attitude. If he had to die defending his good name - and Jim’s - he would.  He had already proved once that he would die for Jim and he could do it again.

But if he could get out of this alive, alive for long enough to take Jim’s hand and say “I do,” then that would be infinitely preferable.  Obviously!  Jim clearly couldn’t marry a corpse.

“That’s regrettable,” he said levelly, feeling turmoil beneath but keeping his tone as level as possible.  “I think our business here is concluded, then.”  His heart was hammering in his chest.  He hoped Big Guy couldn’t see how hard he was breathing and the sweat that was springing out on his brow.

He was surprised that he’d managed to keep his temper as usually, any kind of name calling - far less hurtful than this - produced the most tempestuous tantrums ever, closely followed by carnage of some sort.  But he wanted to keep his dignity.  This guy and others like him just weren’t going to win.  And he didn’t want to let Jim down by just going off on a killing spree.  At least, not yet.

Anyway, these guys looked tough.  Mean and tough.  They were just waiting for the order to strike.  And if he was deserted by his own men, he would clearly be outnumbered.  And that would be the end for him.

“Oh, I don’t think so.  I don’t think this thing’s over yet.”  The mobster took a step toward Oswald.

Oswald reached towards his pocket for his knife.  He might just beat him to it if he was lucky.

Just then Gabe stepped out in front of him, putting himself in between Oswald and his assailant.  He stood there, a big bear of a man, shielding him.  Oswald gave a surprised gasp.

“Oh, I think it is, mister, “ Gabe said.

“Erm, Gabe….” Oswald  began, but then the mobster’s men began to draw their guns.

Gabe turned and said, “Guys?”  Then all Oswald’s men drew their guns.

“It appears we have a stand-off,” Gabe said smugly, but not moving his position, continuing to keep a screen on Oswald.  “Are you gonna drop em or do we fire?”

Oswald couldn’t believe this was happening. Gabe had defended him, and the other men too - without any prompting, or any threats of violence from him!  He had thought they would all run out on him.  This was what he was used to and this was what he had come to expect when he was up against it like this.

He had thought he was about to die - for real, this time.  He had seen Jim’s face in that split second, made his peace with him for leaving him alone yet again.

But he was still here, and breathing, and possibly, safe.  He might see Jim again after all!  He held his breath, trying not to hope too much.

And then, to his intense relief, Big Guy stepped back and signalled for his men to put down their arms.

Oswald pinched himself to see if he was dreaming….he wasn’t….”Ouch,” he thought.

“You ain’t heard the last of this…”  Big Guy said, as he slowly moved away and then left the room, taking his henchmen with him.

“OK guys, stand down,” Gabe told the men.  He turned round to face Oswald.  “You ok, boss?” he asked.

Oswald’s face was white as a sheet but he smiled warmly at Gabe.

“I am all right,” he said, “But, Gabe - you really surprised me!”

“Why, boss?”

“Well, you stood up for me. I didn’t think you would!”

Gabe chuckled and folded his arms.  “Why not?”

“Well to be honest Gabe, I wasn’t expecting you to back me up.”


“Well, to be quite truthful, I always got the feeling that you didn’t really like me. Especially after…. ”  Oswald broke off awkwardly.

“After I found out you were marryin a man, you mean?”


“Boss, let me tell ya somethin’,” Gabe said, leaning toward Oswald confidentially.  Then he stopped, looked up at the rest of the men and said, “Would you excuse us boys?  This is  personal, like.”

“OK Gabe.”

When they had left, Gabe looked down at Oswald thoughtfully.

“Right,” he said.  “What I was gonna say boss is  - well, for one thing I can’t stand bullies.  I was bullied as a child too, y’know.  I ain’t never told anyone that before.”

“You, Gabe?”  Oswald was astonished.  “Really?”

“Yeah, really.  Big ole me.  They laughed at me cos of the way I talked. Said I was a dumb ass.  Picked on me sometin’ rotten, they did.”

“But why didn’t you just….well, defend yourself?  You’re….well....”

“Yeah, a big guy.  I know.  But that was it, boss. I didn’t like hurtin’ people.  It was never my way.”

“ did you end up becoming a henchman then?”

“Y’know boss - I have absolutely no idea!  I just kind of….drifted into it.  Just got picked up on the street one day and then that was that.  Seemed like that was the only thing I was qualified to do.  And so here I am!”

“Well you are full of surprises, Gabe, I have to say!”

“Well boss, as I was sayin’, if there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s a bully.  And if it’s one thing I hate even more, it’s a bully with PREJUDICE.  You gotta right to live your life the way you want, and marry who you want.  Now, I’m not sayin’ I understand it, exactly,” he said, holding up his hands, “but you gotta right to be with who you wanna be with.”

Oswald’s eyes filled up suddenly. He blinked fast and hard.

“Gabe - that is the most poetic thing I ever heard you say!  Come here, you big lummox!”  And he went and gave Gabe the biggest bear hug he could manage.

“Whoahh, boss, steady on!” Gabe chuckled, patting Oswald on the back affectionately.

“I will remember this, Gabe.  I will never forget it.   And don’t worry about your little secret, it is safe with me.  I promise.”

Chapter Text

A Uniform Decision


Oswald arrived back at the apartment feeling weary and a tad shaken,  but relieved to be home and really looking forward to seeing his fiance again.


“Jim!” he called.   “Jim, dear! I’m home!”


He received no answer, but scented the appetising smell of goulash wafting through from the kitchen.


“Mmmm, things are definitely looking up!”  he thought.


Whenever Jim made the effort to cook up a goulash he knew he was in for an especially amazing evening.


He took off his coat and jacket and hung them on the coat stand in the hallway.  He unknotted and took off his tie and unfastened the top two buttons of his wing collar.  Now he could start to breathe again.


He hobbled into the kitchen and found the goulash simmering away merrily in the slow-cooker.  Jim had set it on a low heat to keep it warm.


Oswald picked up the oven mitt and lifted the lid on the pot.  The smells coming from the fragrant steam and the sight of the generous pieces of meat and vegetables bubbling around in the rich red wine sauce made his mouth water and his heart feel much lighter.  Jim really was spoiling him tonight! And he needed that so much….


He replaced the lid and then he became aware of Jim’s presence behind him.  His man was very light on his feet but Oswald could always detect that he was there by the smell of the  cologne his fiance habitually used. He turned round to find Jim standing there looking at him with a mischievous expression and a twinkle in his eyes.


“Jim!  Am I glad to see you….” he exclaimed excitedly, then stopped mid-sentence and stood open-mouthed with astonishment as he saw what his favourite police detective was wearing.


“Oh….Jim….”  He looked him over fleetingly - and then checked him out again - a lot more slowly and closely….


Jim had put on his old cop’s uniform.  This was a very unexpected turn of events, and a very welcome one too….


“Surprise!  Do you like it?” Jim gave Oswald a boyish smile.  “I mean - ahem…”


Jim stood back, put his hands on his hips and gave Oswald a look of mock severity.


“Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot, you have the right to remain….”  


He paused for a second for dramatic effect.


“!”  he completed, with a wink and a great big dazzling smile.  He fingered the handcuffs suspended from his utility belt and jiggled them suggestively.

“Do I like it?  I Iove it - of course.  You’re wearing it!  Oh, Jim - you look so….well, cute in that uniform!  And I love that you read me my rights as well.  That was a very good touch and I like the way you adapted it just for me!”  Oswald’s eyes sparkled with joy and his dimples grew.


“Glad you liked that part. I thought it was more appropriate for you than the official version.”  Jim grinned. “And….do you really like to see me wearing this uniform, Ozzy?”


“How could I not?  That colour really sets off your eyes.  And the way it fits you….it’s very...erm….cosy....almost like a second skin!”  He looked over Jim admiringly again to emphasise his point. ”And, speaking of ‘skin’, Jim dear - I notice that you have had  

a shave since we parted this morning.”


“Yeah, I have - do you mind, sweetheart?”


“No, not at all!  Anyway, it does go better with the uniform - which as I just said, looks very fetching on you!”


Jim bit his lip, furrowed his brow and rubbed his chin thoughtfully.   Oswald was right - he had felt that this outfit called for a clean shaven face.    Besides, in spite of Oswald’s liking for his bounty hunter persona, Jim knew that he had been giving his little lover some terrible friction burn in some pretty sensitive places whenever they got ‘up close and personal’ - which, of course,  happened very frequently….


“Well, I’m glad you like me in this,  Oz,” he smiled gratefully.  “Barbara told me the uniform looked silly.  She was glad to see the back of it.”


“Whereas I am glad to see you back IN it - get it?!”  Oswald quipped, grinning impishly. Jim groaned.


“And by the way, Jim dear - Barbara was, is, and always will be -  an idiot!” Oswald continued indignantly. “You look so handsome in it.  Very - erm - ARRESTING, in fact!”  


“Oh - ha ha, I see - ‘arresting’.  Very funny, Oz.” Jim rolled his eyes and grimaced good humouredly.


“Sorry - couldn’t resist that one!” Oswald shrugged.


“But James, please promise me you’ll only ever put that uniform on for me - in private - and for no-one else?”   


Jim straightened up and stuck out his manly chest, soldier-style.  “Yes, Mr Cobblepot, sir. I promise.”




Oswald sighed contentedly.   His hands slid down to Jim’s chest, feeling and searching for the beat of his heart.    “Ah, there it goes!” he thought, reassured and comforted to find Jim’s life signs drumming beneath his fingers.  He delighted in the sensation of steady pounding against his fingers, and then the feel of his man’s quickening pulse as Jim’s body responded to his touch.


“It’s so good to be home!” he sighed.  He screwed up his face for a moment, then relaxed it again. “I’ve had a pig of a day, Jim!”  


“Hey - d’you want to talk about it….?”  Jim stroked Oswald’s jaw tenderly. His deep blue eyes studied his man’s face closely and anxiously.


“No. No, I’d rather not just yet, Jim.  I will tell you about it later. For now I’d rather just unwind….and play with you.”  Oswald placed his hands back onto Jim’s shoulders and his eyes and dimples grew large with anticipation.


“Mmmm, that sounds good to me!  I’d just love to play with you, Cobblepot.”  Jim winked suggestively. “But remember to tell me about what happened today - ok?” he said more solemnly.


“Yes, James - of course!” Oswald nodded emphatically.    “Just….just kiss me, Jim. Please.”


“With pleasure.”  Jim took Oswald’s head in his hands.  Their lips came together and moved in unison as they slowly savoured every second of the experience.   


Oswald’s hands swept over Jim’s uniformed body as they kissed.  He relished every moment spent touching him, feeling the stiff texture of the navy material of the uniform that clung so closely to his man’s strong, lean body.  It was a very sexy, snug fit - but Oswald couldn’t help wondering if Jim felt more than a tad uncomfortable in it.


He wondered if it was anywhere near as unpleasantly confining as his own starched shirts, stiff wing collars and tight waistcoats - his personal battle dress.  Jim said he loved to see him in his full regalia and it was good to know that someone appreciated the effort he went to to make himself look as smart and sophisticated as possible  - but his formal suits were hardly the most agreeable of apparel to wear.


They must both get out of their constraining  garments as soon as possible - so that they could get down to the really important business of their day!


His hands moved down to Jim’s hips and found their way to the holster slung around them.  He placed his hand lightly on the top of the holster and fingered the handle of the gun protruding from it.  


Jim stopped kissing him, grasped his hand and gently prised it away.


“Be careful, Cobblepot.  That’s likely to go off without any warning!”  He raised his eyebrow meaningfully.


“Ooh!  Is it?”  Oswald’s smile stretched wide again.  His hand felt for and found the handcuffs on the other side of Jim’s belt.


“So then - are you going arrest me for misbehaving, Detective Gordon?”  Oswald raised his own eyebrow suggestively and hopefully.


“Well, yeah - of course, that goes without saying!  You are such a bad boy, Cobblepot!”


Oswald chuckled excitedly.


Jim cleared his throat, stood up straight and addressed his little mischief-maker sternly.  


“Right, Cobblepot, you have to come with me - I’m taking you in for interrogation.…”  Jim fake-frowned and slipped the handcuff onto and clicked it around Oswald’s wrist.


Oswald’s eyes opened wide with delight.   Jim stared back at him lustfully. “Let’s go, Cobblepot,” he growled, then led his tethered, giggling little Ozzy off to bed.


They were both very grateful for that slow cooker.  It could keep their dinner hot for a very long time….while they warmed up one another….

Chapter Text

It was the Worst of Days and it was the Best of Days

Oswald and Jim have a grown-up talk.

“So you see, Jim - it was one of the worst days, but in a way, it was one of the best days too.”

Oswald had recounted the encounter with Big Guy and his cronies shortly after Jim had helped him bathe - after some pretty lively lovemaking - followed by a delicious dinner, by way of compensation for the ‘pig of a day’ he had said he’d experienced. 

He was now in his dressing gown, and was perched on Jim’s lap on their sofa.  Jim’s arms were wrapped around him, holding him in place protectively.

“You smell good, Oz,”  said Jim.

“Thanks.  So do you.”  

“Do I?”

“Yes, Jim. You always smell good.”

“Ah.  Thank you, that’s nice, Oz.  But - anyway, sweetheart -  about what you told me about Gabe - I’m glad he turned out to be loyal and protected you like that - and saved your life - thank God.   I am very grateful to him and I’ll thank him in person as soon as I get the chance.” 

“Thanks, Jim.  I think he’d appreciate that.”

Jim smoothed back Oswald's damp dark hair and gave him an affectionate little peck on his nose.  Oswald giggled.  “”Ooh!  That tickles!”


“No, no, I don’t mind it - in fact I like it!  It tickled me in a good way.”   Oswald grinned impishly.

“Ah, well that’s all right then.”  Jim gave him another peck and Oswald squealed with delight, wriggling playfully.    

“Hey, calm down mister!”  laughed Jim.  “This is a serious talk we’re having, don’t ya know.”

Oswald pursed up his lips and feigned petulance.  “But I want to play, Jim.”

“Later, Cobblepot,” Jim fake growled.  “Grown up talk now, OK?”

Oswald sighed.  “OK then Jim, let’s get it over with.  Are you going to give me a stern lecture?  I like those.”  He fluttered his raven lashes provocatively.

“Will you just stop that, Oswald Cobblepot?”  chuckled Jim.  “You know what that does to me!”  

He gave Oswald a squeeze and kissed him on the cheek.  He was afraid lip kissing might be rather too distracting - and might lead to other activities that he didn’t want to initiate - at least, not yet.  And he knew that his crafty little Ozzy was well aware of that.

“Now, seriously - listen to me, sweetheart,” he resumed determinedly - “the risk you took….”

“I know, I know….I know you think I probably shouldn’t have been honest.  And I suppose you’ll say next that I shouldn’t wear my ring…”

“Well, it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to leave it off sometimes, Oz.  I mean, for that kind of occasion, anyway.  It does kind of, well, make you a bit of a target....”

“No, Jim!  I’m not taking it off. You put it there and there it stays,”  Oswald retorted passionately, his azure eyes flashing indignantly.  

“OK, OK.”  Jim stroked Oswald soothingly then squeezed him tightly.  “I’m sorry.  I know you want to show it off and be proud.  I just worry about you, that’s all.”

”James, James - dear James!  I am touched, but there’s no need for you to worry.  Especially now I know the guys have my back.  That makes me really happy, y’know, Jim.  Almost as delirious as knowing I have you….”

Chapter Text

Hearts Grow Fonder - Duty Calls and Cobblepot Comforts


“Hey, Harv.” Jim came on like he’d never been away and this was just another working day. He had thought that this would be the best approach. The other guys had been frostily polite to him, which was fine with him - he wasn’t really that bothered about their opinions - but he would at least like to make up and have a proper ‘warm up’ with his long-standing partner.

“Hey yourself, James.” Harvey pushed his hat back and scratched his beard thoughtfully. “Welcome back.” He nodded briefly.

“Thanks!” Jim grinned widely. He hoped he wasn’t over-compensating.

“Well, I’m just gonna get myself a coffee. Want one?” Harvey had his ‘Wow isn’t that a tempting offer’ sarcasm in his voice, which Jim knew and loved so well. The GCPD coffee was legendary, and not in a good way.

“Yeah, that’d be great thanks. It’s cream and....”

“One sugar, yeah, I remember. It’s not been that long, Jimbo.” Harvey cocked his head and raised his eyebrow pointedly.

“OK, OK,” Jim conceded with a humble smile.

Well, Jim observed, at least things seemed to be pretty normal around here - as normal as things could possibly get at the GCPD. The good-natured banter was already flowing as freely as the weak as water coffee and so far it was far less bitter.

He never took his coffee with cream or sugar at home. He felt it wasn’t necessary to ‘adulterate’ good coffee. He’d only started stocking up on sugar since he’d moved in with Oswald….his little gangster liked his beverages strong and sweet, “Like my men - that is, you, of course, my sexy detective!” he had once such a provocative way that it had made Jim’s heart fibrillate and his knees knock.

Now he was just waiting to be summoned by Barnes. He would want to ‘re-introduce’ Jim back in to the force. ‘Debriefing’, as he would call it. He really wasn’t looking forward to that, but what must be done must be done, and got over with - as soon as possible.

He knew he would much rather be ‘de-briefed’ by Oswald….which would, of course, be a far more pleasant experience….

He had more than a slight suspicion that Oswald had been behind the whole ‘reinstatement with paid leave’ deal. It had all seemed too good to be true and very untypical of anything that Barnes would be likely to think up or offer - let alone come to him cap in hand and lay out on a silver platter. Which was exactly what he had done….

He had quizzed Oswald about it on more than one occasion, but his cute little trickster had been more than a tad evasive - and had then distracted Jim in his inimitable fashion, meaning, of course, that they had ended up in bed yet again.

Oswald had reminded Jim that there were far more worthwhile - and fun - things to do with his mouth than to ask pesky questions with it. Afterwards, Jim had conveniently forgotten all about his original train of thought. His clever little Cobblepot always came out on top, sometimes literally as well as metaphorically….


He was mostly glad to be back at work - of course. Being a cop was in his blood and there were limits to how long he could play at being Oswald’s ‘house husband’ without getting bored. Having said that, a large part of him already missed his sexy little psycho acutely.

He really had it bad for his bad boy. His physical need for him hadn’t diminished one iota. He couldn’t believe how much time he spent daydreaming about him and wanting him when they were apart. He was still in the first throes of love and he couldn’t wait to reunite with his cute little kingpin and demonstrate that to him.

His fabulous fiance could look forward to, at the very least, a good kiss and a cuddle at the end of the day….

As he was effectively ‘self-employed’, Oswald often managed to get home early - unless there was something especially ‘difficult’ that regretfully demanded his ‘personal attention’. But he usually managed to arrive back at the apartment no later than 5, even if it meant him having to go out again - and that, of course, had suited Jim just fine when he had been ‘on extended vacation’.

He hoped that they wouldn’t have to cross paths in their professional capacities - which would, of course, be awkward, to say the least. Jim wished to delay the evil moment when they came upon each other in such a predicament for as long as possible.

Oswald had always endeavoured not to involve Jim directly in his shenanigans, and had mostly been successful, for which Jim was extremely thankful.


They were both aware that they had a common goal - and that was to ensure and maintain peace and order in their city. They clung to that idea like two drowning men would hold onto two sides of the same liferaft, so that it would stay balanced and afloat.

They were too much in love to give up on each other. Now that they had finally connected as soulmates, they really didn’t want to throw it all away.

They concurred that bringing up the subject of ‘work’ at home should be taboo. ‘Silence is Golden’ was a saying that seemed to have been coined just for them. After all, as Oswald was keen to point out, other professional couples exercised a similar rule to ensure that their work issues didn't intrude into their private life. This principle had extra significance for them in their special situation, and they were both glad of it and willing to stick to it.

There were exceptions to the rule. Jim was, of course, eager to hear about any hurt or trauma that Oswald had sustained in his daily dealings, so that he could provide comfort. Oswald also wanted to know if any person or organisation posed any threat to his handsome police detective, so that he could deal with this accordingly. He wouldn’t tolerate anything or anyone that might harm his beloved James.

Although Jim was glad to be returning to the GCPD and his usual routine, he also looked forward to going back home - naturally..

He was so looking forward to laying his eyes - and his hands - on his lover again. He visualised his delicious dandy greeting him - either in his waistcoat and shirt sleeves, or, if he had got home much earlier, newly bathed and wrapped up in his silk dressing gown. Jim visualised him with his black locks wet and shining from the shower and his exposed, flushed skin peeping out from the opening in his robe, begging for Jim’s lips to be kissing it. Jim would so look forward to doing that, and then later, enjoying unwrapping and appreciating the parts that were still concealed.

Whether unwrapping or unbuttoning, he would enjoy it very much….but he got to wondering how great it would be to help Ozzy to re-robe too. Dressing him up might be just as much fun as stripping him down….so he would ensure to make this suggestion.

He remembered the way they had been with one another last night. He really couldn’t remember feeling so quite so comfortable and natural with anyone else with whom he’d been intimate.

Oswald had, of course, no-one to compare him with, but he hoped that Oswald felt the same about him.

His cute little gangster had been so shy and bashful the first time they had both stepped over a threshold. Jim had been the only man to share a lover’s intimacy with Oswald - and vice versa, of course.

Oswald evidently accepted, understood and loved Jim for who - and what - he truly was. This touched Jim’s heart and he was keen to demonstrate that he returned Oswald’s unconditional love and respect. He also wanted to atone for all the bad behaviour and disrespect that he had previously shown towards him.

He’d given him a ring as a sign of his love and commitment, but then he had almost ruined his romantic gesture by suggesting that Oswald remove it in case of reprisals and abuse. He had sought to show that he cared about Oswald’s safety, but had inadvertently been insulting and hurtful. He should have realised and respected that Oswald would want to show off the evidence of their love - especially after he had risked life and limb to defend it. And now his henchmen had proved their loyalty beyond a doubt - which Jim was so glad and grateful for - and so there had been no need for Jim to make that remark at all.

Oswald had forgiven him - as always. His magnanimity seemed to know no limits when it came to Jim’s transgressions and faux pas both past and present. Jim smiled, wistfully reflecting on that.

Since he had become Oswald’s ‘other half’, he had found his imagination running away with him on a regular basis. He had invented a fantasy in his head in which his marriage to Oswald - the self-styled ‘King of Gotham’ - had brought about peace between the criminal underworld and the GCPD. It would be much like the European royal alliances he had learned about in his school history classes. That had been a particularly outlandish scenario, brought about randomly in one of his idler moments, but it had cheered him up.

And at least now, he dared to dream.

Each morning, he awoke in their new king-sized bed to find Oswald’s tousled, raven-haired head lying on the pillow next to his. More often than not, Oswald would be facing him, with his arm across Jim and his slender body pressed up close. If his lover was still asleep, he would get the chance to look at that pretty slumbering face with its long raven lashes. He would move up even closer and brush his mouth against Oswald’s cherry-sweet lips, feeling their velvety softness and catching wafts of his warm breath before he blinked awake and treated Jim to the sight of his flashing sapphire eyes. Jim knew then that he just had to believe in miracles.

His beautiful boy was almost killing him with kindness, as if to make up for all that time when it seemed that they just wanted to kill each other….although Jim had known, as soon as he had seen him all beaten up and scared in Harvey’s boot, that he could never take Oswald’s life.

He remembered how one look at Oswald’s wide, spooked, incandescent blue eyes, and his bloodied nose and crumpled, dishevelled clothes, had caused his heart to miss a beat and his stomach to turn a somersault. He’d tried to deny it so many times, but he had known deep down that he had belonged to Oswald right from that moment. He had felt something which was far beyond pity. He’d not allowed himself to admit it for a very long time…. but that fateful day in the alleyway had changed all that. And he didn’t regret it one bit.

“Hey, earth to James! Hello-oo!”

Jim flinched and came to.

Harvey was standing before him with two steaming mugs of GCPD coffee, which smelt marginally better than he knew it was going to taste.

“A dollar for ya thoughts - no, forget it, I’ll save my money. Let me guess - you were thinking about lover boy, right?” Harvey winked cheekily and took a sip.

Jim looked at Harvey and frowned, then raised his chin defiantly and put his hands on his hips.

“I assume by ‘lover boy’ you mean Oswald - my fiance?” he challenged, with a growl.

“Hey, hey, cease fire, soldier boy!” protested Harvey, holding up the steaming mug like a flag of surrender. “That wasn’t meant to be a missile. Or a cheap shot. Yep - I meant OSWALD.” He smiled and shrugged apologetically.

“That’s ok Harv. I guess I shouldn’t be so sensitive.” Jim relaxed his face, reached out and took the mug from Harvey’s hand. “Thanks,” he added.

“Don’t mention it Jim, you had a right to be touchy. I made a snide comment about your boyfriend - sorry, I mean fiance! Anyway - I’ve done a lot of thinking since you walked out, Jim. I shouldn’t have gone off in a huff like that when you told me about your - um - betrothal to Co - um, Oswald. I should’ve been more - well, open-minded, I guess.” Harvey shuffled his feet and looked uncomfortable.

“You were just taken by surprise, that’s all. Forget it!” Jim grinned magnanimously, throwing his partner a bone. He raised up his mug.

“Let’s drink - to starting over!” he beamed, and Harvey echoed, “Yep - starting over!” and clinked his mug against Jim’s. Then they drank in unison, screwed up their noses and shuddered.

“I see the coffee is still up to the usual high standards,” Jim remarked sarcastically, then gave a wry chuckle.

“Yep, you got it,” Harvey shrugged fatalistically, then grinned. “Some things never change, right - partner?”

“Right, partner. Erm - by the way - it’s great to be back, Harv.”

“It’s great to have you back, Jim….”


A berobed, exceptionally fragrant Oswald greeted Jim with a wide, dimpled smile and a glass of red wine, all of which Jim found to be most welcome. He gave Ozzy an emphatic kiss and thanked him for the wine.

“My pleasure, James,” Oswald replied silkily, his feline smile widening.

They both sat down on the sofa.

“Well, anyway, Oz, can’t say I’m not glad to see the back of today,” announced Jim wearily. He took a sip of wine and gave a little sigh of relief.

“Oh? How so, Jim? Thought you were looking forward to going back.” Oswald raised his raven eyebrow quizzically. He had had a good, productive day - not that he was going to share the gory details with Jim, of course.

“Well, yeah - I was glad to be back at work - but, well, I kept thinking about you, Oz. I have to say….I mean, when I made an arrest...or someone said to me, ‘Something's going down in the Narrows’, my heart turned over and my chest tightened - I was so scared it would be you. I didn't want it to be you, and then I would think, if it is you, what will I do? Luckily it wasn’t, and I know you do your best to keep out of my way, and I do my best to keep out of your way, during the day, but I’m..I’m quite afraid that one day..obviously, we’re going to clash…”


“Jim, Jim, “ Oswald interjected, “don't talk about that - please. We got through this day and we made it through unscathed - just look at the both of us! We’ve made it back home, I’m in my dressing gown and I’m giving you a glass of wine and you’re looking at me and you’re making my knees go to jelly! And the fact that you worry about these things makes my knees go even weaker. I’m so glad I’ve got you , Jim. All this trauma and all this anxiety about these contradictions we have is so worth it because...well….Oh, Jim, when I look into those eyes of yours- your bewildered blue eyes- I just know it’s all worthwhile. I know we belong together and you know we belong together - so please, stop stressing dear, drink your wine and give me another kiss, and then we will have dinner, and then.. ..then we’ll see what else we can do....”

Chapter Text

A Henchman Calls

Jim glanced at his watch. It was getting kinda late now - he wondered when Oswald was going to turn up….

He always tried not to worry. He knew now that Oz’s gang was loyal to him - all of the guys had his back, and that pleased him no end. Besides, Oz was a canny little trickster when all was said and done. He was a born survivor. In Oswalds own words, he was “quite difficult to kill”.

He had shrugged and grinned demonically when he’d said it, all those moons ago - when he had turned up on Jim’s doorstep, and surprised him by being alive after all.

Jim had felt a huge surge of relief when he had been faced with this apparition, but he had tried so hard not to show it. He hadn’t wanted Oswald to know how he really felt, and so he had spoken to him in his habitual brusque manner.

However, he had tried to dissuade him from putting himself in danger by continuing his obsessive search for the group who ruled Gotham - who Jim knew was the powerful and deadly Court of Owls. He knew Oswald could come to serious harm if he found them and had wanted to protect him by warning him off.

But - of course - Oswald had taken no notice of Jim’s ‘friendly advice’. Thankfully, Jim’s fears for his friend’s safety had been unfounded, which seemed to back up Oswald’s claim that he was invincible. In fact, Oswald had ended up saving Jim’s life - not for the first time - by turning up in the nick of time, to which Jim had responded ungratefully - as was his wont. This was another favour that had received no thanks from Jim, and that Jim had felt bad about ever since.

Jim continued to fret that his ‘invincible’ gangster could still come to harm. He had a titanium spirit, and his brain was as bright as a polished diamond - but his body wasn’t made of steel. He was still flesh and blood, when all was said and done. And things could still go horribly wrong if the circumstances were right.

He always urged Oswald to contact him if he happened to be in a tight spot - if all else failed and he ended up needing Jim’s protection. But he had heard nothing from him all day, and although no news should be good news, in Oz’s case it was unlike him not to be in touch at all - no matter how busy or occupied he was.

He usually managed at least to send Jim a quick reassuring text, just to say “Miss you,” or “Don’t wait up,” or , when Oz was feeling a tad more mischievous and humorous, “I’m alive, Jim!”

If he had tried to call and Jim’s phone happened to be off - or if Jim was ‘otherwise engaged’ and unable to pick up his calls, Oswald would leave him a voicemail message.

If Oswald was feeling out of sorts, the message would sound cross and panicky: “Jim, your phone is turned off. Why?! Please call me back when you pick this up!”

Jim would respond immediately, thinking it was a life or death situation, more often than not to find that Oz just wanted him to pick him up some peanut butter from the grocery store on the way back from work.

Ozzy loved his peanut butter - which had to be smooth, not crunchy. Jim made the mistake of getting the crunchy variety just once - and he had never forgotten it. His sweet little Ozzy had thrown a tetchy tantrum, insisting that it had to be taken back to the store and replaced right away. Then when Jim had returned, bearing the correct kind of his little devil’s favourite spread, Ozzy had become extremely remorseful, nuzzling up to him, and saying ‘Sorry I shouted, dear,” in his soft, seductive voice. He had explained that he had had low blood sugar and this had drastically affected his mood. Jim had forgotten to be angry, and had just melted and forgiven him - as usual.

And the make up sex had been out of this world! He hadn’t realised just how creative Oz could get with a jar of peanut butter….he had made sure that they were well stocked up on it since then, and had not minded so much when his fiance and he happened to have a tiff….knowing what he could possibly look forward to later....

If Oz was in a more stable state of mind, his message would, of course, be sweeter. A particularly memorable one of this type went: “Hey, James dear, it’s me - Ozzy! I’m sorry, I’ll be back late tonight. Things here are getting somewhat complex (don’t worry though, dear, I’m in no danger, things are just getting a tad annoying, shall we say, ha ha!). Anyway, I’ll be back as soon as I can - don’t wait up. Keep the bed warm for me - I’ll be there as soon as I can! Oh, and by the way - love you, Jim. Mwah, that’s me kissing you, ok?”

Jim had kept that recording, filing it away in his archived message folder. When he was having a bad day and feeling low or lonely without Oz, he would play it over and over again. If he was completely alone at home, waiting for Oswald to return, he would put it on speaker and carry it around listening to Oswald’s dulcet tones, and it would warm his heart and make him break out in a smile. It was such a beautiful message, and hearing Oswald end with ‘Love you, Jim,” and his emphatic kiss, was the icing on the cake.

Jim had also snaffled a fragrant silk square that his dapper little dandy had once put aside - after dabbing it on his face to freshen himself up - and then forgotten all about. Jim had picked it up and pressed it to his face, feeling the soft silk soothing his skin and inhaling Oswald’s enticing sandalwood and cedarwood scent. Jim had hung onto the handkerchief, keeping it inside the breast pocket of his coat. The smell of the cologne had long since faded but Jim still didn’t want to part with it and consign it to the laundry basket.

He had never thought he could get so ridiculously sentimental over anyone. It just wasn’t in his makeup - Jim Gordon, the strong silent type who hardly ever showed his emotions. He could still hardly believe how much Oswald had got under his skin and how passionate he felt about him. He knew he should probably be embarrassed about it, but he wasn’t. And he didn’t care that he wasn’t. He didn’t give two hoots if people made fun of him or criticised him for being so transparent about how much he loved his little gangster. He only gave a damn about what Oswald thought - and it was patently obvious to him what that was!

However, the reason behind Oswald’s continued eerie silence was something that he cared very much about! He was really unnerved that his fiance still hadn’t been in touch. He had resorted to chasing up Oswald, the boot being on the other foot for a change - and each time he had tried, Oswald’s phone had been switched off….

In an attempt to distract himself from his anxious reflections, Jim thought about what they would have to eat once Oswald arrived home. Because he would be coming back - of course he would!

Jim had bought a quiche for supper, and some dressed salad to go with it. The weather was too warm for cooking, and he’d had an inkling that Oz was going to get in late. He would only need to whip the food out of the fridge and onto the plate when his tired-out fiance came in through the door - which he hoped would be very soon. A glass of fine wine and a light but tasty supper, accompanied by a kiss and a cuddle, would be all that the doctor ordered.

That morning, Oswald had warned him that ‘something big was going down,’ followed swiftly by his reassurance that “There’s no need to worry though Jim, it won’t affect you - I’ll make sure of that.”

“I wasn’t worrying about that,” Jim had retorted, and he had reached out and grabbed Oswald’s hand, stopping him in his tracks as he was about to hurry out of the door.

Oswald had turned sharply and given Jim a withering glance. “Jim….please….I need to go, now!” he had insisted, his lips pouting with indignation and then tightening into a thin line of petulance.

Jim had furrowed his brow sternly. “Listen - Oswald - it’s you I’m concerned about. Look, sweetheart - you will be careful, won’t you? And if you need my help, please - call me, OK?” He had squeezed Oswald’s hand hard.

“Yes, yes dear, of course I will,” Ozzy had replied placatingly. “Now, if you don’t mind..I need to go….see you later, Jim.” He had swung in and given Jim a quick peck on the lips and turned away to leave, but Jim had refused to release Oswald’s hand, holding on to it for dear life.

Oswald had turned back again with a crabby look of forced patience. “Let me go please, James,” he had demanded stiffly, tugging away at Jim’s hand to try and get free.

But Jim had moved forward and trapped his lover in an ardent, pythonesque embrace.

“Keep still, mister, you’re not leaving yet!” he’d rasped, as Oswald had attempted in vain to wriggle out of Jim’s vice-like grip. His deep blue gaze had stared back at Oswald’s startled face with grim determination.

“Jim, Jim, for God’s sake - don’t! I need to leave now!” Oswald had protested frantically.

“Hold still Cobblepot!” Jim had growled, undeterred by Oswald’s urgent, panicking tone. “D’you call that tiny little kiss a proper goodbye? This needs to last us all day long…..” And his lips had latched onto Oswald’s mouth and initiated a long, lingering, passionate smooch that had made Oswald‘s toes curl up inside his shiny patent shoes.

Oswald had stopped struggling, clearly realising that resistance was futile. Jim had felt Oswald’s body go limp inside his arms and his sweet mouth finally, willingly, surrendering to the action of Jim’s lips. His shallow breaths became slow and steady, and his hands slid up to Jim’s chest, his fingers grasping and twisting the material on Jim’s shirt.

“There - that’s much better, don’t ya think?” Jim had remarked, as he had released Oswald from his amorous clutches, and after their mouths had parted with a soft sucking sound.

Oswald had huffed, then cleared his throat and hastily fastened up his coat, a self-conscious blush appearing on his cheeks. He had quickly preened himself, pulling at the little tufts of his newly-vamped hair to make sure that they were still in place.

“I hate you, Jim Gordon. Now I AM going to be late!” he had announced primly.

“Well, you would purse up those pretty lips at me, Oswald Cobblepot!” Jim had retorted playfully.

“Oh, so it’s my own fault, is it?” Oswald had rebutted brightly, unable to resist the urge to be playful in return. “Well, I’m not sure how I will explain that to my eight o’clock appointment - which will now be more like eight-thirty! Still, never mind, I suppose it was worth it….it’s a shame though that you started something I don’t have time to finish….” He had arched his eyebrow suggestively before finally making his escape.

Jim jumped as he heard the doorbell ring. He only then realised that he was smiling. The memory of that incredible goodbye clinch had made him drift off to a kind of temporary Nirvana.

His smile instantly became a frown - then became a smile again just as quickly.

Could it be Oswald? Had he forgotten his key? Naaaa, he never forgot his key. Still, there was a first time for everything. He could always hope.

The bell started ringing again, accompanied by loud, urgent knocking.

“OK, OK, hold your fire - I’m coming!” Jim shouted out as he marched to the door. He flung it open, fully prepared to give Oswald a good-humoured reprimand for being so raucous and impatient.

“Ah, um, hi there, Detective Gordon.”


Jim’s heart sank like a stone….what the hell was HE doing here?









“Erm - can I come in?” Gabe asked tentatively. He shuffled his feet and looked uncomfortable.

“Sure.” Jim knitted his brows in bewilderment as he stepped aside to allow Gabe’s colossal form to cross over the threshold.

This was a surprise - and not a pleasant one. Instead of his pretty, dapper, elegant little gent, here was his gent’s gigantic, shambling henchman.

He suddenly came out in a cold sweat. Why would Gabe be calling around here - when his boss was nowhere to be seen, as well as being out of contact for the whole day?

“So, Gabe,” he said levelly, trying his best to sound calm and matter-of-fact. He put his hands on his hips, Detective-Gordon-style. “What can I do for you?””

“Well, y’see, Detective Gordon - well, it’s about the boss…”

“It’s about Oswald?” Jim said, feeling and hearing a note of panic in his voice. “Is...well, is everything ok?”

“Erm yeah, well, sorta....”

“What do you mean, ‘sorta’?” Jim heard the fear threaten to escape out through his lips. His voice had a tremor in it that was hard to disguise. He tried to swallow down his fear.

“He..well, he won’t be comin’ home…” Gabe looked apologetic.

“Not comin’ - I mean, not coming home?!” Jim almost jumped down Gabe’s throat.

“Hey, now, just a second, Detective Gordon! I was just goin’ to say he won’t be comin’ home until late. He’s takin’ a while to - erm - conclude his business, if you get my drift!” Gabe chuckled and winked meaningfully.

“Oh..oh, right. He’s just going to be late....OK...OK…..” Jim was suddenly aware that he was shaking and his mouth had gone dry. His heart was banging in his chest and he was breathing hard. He wiped his hand across his brow and sighed with intense relief.

“Ohhhhhhh wait a minute - I geddit - you thought somethin’ had, well, happened to him?”

“Well - he hadn’t come home yet, I’d heard nothing from him - and then you came alone, looking and sounding concerned, so….yes, Gabe, I did think something might have happened to him.”

Jim spoke with forced patience, as if addressing a slow-witted child. He fought off the overwhelming urge to add, “You dimwit! You almost scared me to death!”
“Awww, no, he’s okay. He’s always ok, that one! As I said before - he’s just gonna be late. His phone battery died, see, so he couldn’t call - and he knew you’d worry, so he sent me round to tell ya. Sorry ‘bout the misunderstanding.” Gabe grinned sheepishly and folded his hands in front of him humbly.

Jim didn’t know whether to punch Gabe in the face for giving him such a fright or hug him for then putting his mind at rest. He decided to do neither. This was Gabe, after all.

But in any case, he was highly relieved to know that Oswald would be coming home to him in one piece.

He suddenly wondered why Oswald had sent round his chief henchman to deliver such a straightforward message. Surely there were others who were lower down in the ranks who could have performed such a simple task - and maybe even expressed themselves less clumsily?

“Anyway, Detective Gordon - I’d better be gettin’ back….”

“Wait, Gabe,” Jim interjected, “Before you go, there’s something I want to say to you.”

Jim remembered that he owed Gabe a huge debt of gratitude for saving his fiance’s life. His crafty little Cobblepot must have had an ulterior motive for sending Gabe on this routine errand.

“Um - there is?” Gabe looked puzzled.

“Yes there is. Gabe, I just want to thank you for what you did the other day - when Oswald was in danger, and you and all the other men stood up for him and protected him.”

“Awww, well, that was nuttin’....I was just doin’ my job, y’know,” grinned Gabe bashfully.

“No Gabe, it wasn’t nut - it wasn’t nothing, and you weren’t just doing your job. You stood by him and stayed loyal and you put your own life on the line for him. You can’t know how much that means to both of us. I could...well, I could have lost him that day, he was brave and I’m proud of him for that, but it could have cost him his life. I’m thankful you were there to back him up and keep him out of harm’s way.”

“No problem. It was my pleasure, Detective Gordon - really. As I said to the boss, if there’s one thing I can’t stand - it’s a bully, and if it’s one thing I hate even more - it’s a bully with PREJUDICE. Erm - congratulations, by the way.” He coughed awkwardly and looked away for a second.

“Thanks, Gabe,” Jim smiled. “That means a lot too.”

“AND,” Gabe continued, “Between you and me, I felt SO bad for the boss when his mother got murdered by those Galavans. Really got me, here.” He laid his hand on his heart. “He was devastated, poor fella, and no wonder, I said to myself. A mother’s love - well, there ain’t nuttin’ like it, and that Galavan, well, he took it from him. I offered to whack that sonofabitch for him, but he would NOT hear of it, no sir, he said….”

“Erm, OK Gabe, anyway - thanks again,” Jim frowned. “Please don’t let me hold you up any longer….”



Oswald was delighted with the welcome he received when he got through the door.

“Thank God - it’s you! At last!” Jim embraced him, then cupped his face and gave him an emphatic kiss.

“Oh - Jim - such enthusiasm, such passion - I love it!”

Oswald kissed Jim back and fluttered his lashes at him. Jim visibly weakened.

“Here, let me do that for you,” Jim insisted, as Oswald went to take off his coat. “You must be exhausted!”

“Oh, thank you Jim - you’re a gentleman! Yes, I am a tad weary, I have to admit!” Oswald sighed gratefully, as he stood and allowed Jim to disrobe him.

Jim slowly and carefully removed Oswald’s jacket. Once he was free, Oswald groaned with relief, yawning and then stretching out his arms like a bird preparing for flight.

The rich purple silk lining of the jacket, as well as the matching silk waistcoat, was now revealed to Jim - along with Oswald’s slender waist and hips and fine angular shoulders. The sight of that gorgeous physique was something that Jim looked forward to every day.

“Go and sit down and take the weight off your feet while I hang this up,” Jim invited.

“Thank you, James.” Oswald limped off towards the couch, pulling at the knot in his tie as he went.

He sat down wearily, finished taking off his tie and unfastened the top two buttons on his stiff shirt, as he always did after a ‘hard day’s kingpinning’, as he liked to put it.

He cast aside the tie joyfully and sat back on the sofa, closing his tired, dry eyes...he just needed to rest them for a moment….

When he opened them he realised that he must have fallen asleep.

Oswald blinked his bleary eyes and then focussed on Jim’s smiling face gazing at him sympathetically as he stood over him bearing a glass of red wine.

“Hmmmm. Mr Cobblepot, maybe I should pack you straight off to bed! You look done in!”

“No, no Jim, please - I am fine. I would love a glass of wine - thank you! Go and pour yourself one while you are at it.”

“There’s quiche in the fridge if you’re hungry too. Did you eat at all today?”

Oswald looked coy and bit his lip, but said nothing.

“I knew it! Oh Oz, you must be starving by now!”

“Erm - well, I am feeling rather peckish, although I thought I’d ‘gone past it’ by now, as they say! I would love some quiche. Erm...have you eaten, Jim?”

“Erm, yeah, I had something earlier..” Jim lied, but Oswald could see right through it.

“No you didn’t - you’re just being polite! Honestly, James! We’re as bad as one another!” Oswald huffed, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, I know. Well, we can make up for it now.”

He kissed Oswald and handed him the wine glass. He went away and came back bearing a plate laden with slices of Quiche Lorraine and some napkins.

They sat side by side and demolished the whole plateful, washing it down with the wine.

“That’s better,” Oswald sighed contentedly, patting his abdomen with satisfaction. “Jim, you are spoiling me!”

”Nonsense! Now - sweetheart - just relax.” Jim got to his knees and started to unlace Oswald’s right shoe.

“Oh, Jim - you angel. I couldn’t face taking them off myself! And they are killing my feet….” Oswald almost cried with gratitude.

“That’s what I thought….just take it easy, right?”

“I certainly will, Jim dear. Thank you.”

Oswald yawned emphatically, covering his mouth politely. He had been sorely tried, but at least it was now all behind him for another day….and now, his gorgeous man was being so kind and generous...which made all his problems seem to fade into insignificance.

He gave an intense sigh of satisfaction as Jim removed his shoes.

Once his feet were completely free of their shackles, he wiggled his toes, chuckling gleefully.

“Ohhh, James - dear James! I cannot express to you just how fabulous that feels!” He leaned back in his chair, stretching himself out like a contented cat.

He glanced down at Jim, who was still kneeling at his feet. “I love you, Detective Gordon!” he declared, his blue eyes misted with emotion.

“Ditto - beautiful,” Jim grinned. “Anyway - I bet you wonder why I’m still kneeling down here on the floor, right?”

“Well, yes, I was a tad curious…..”

“It’s just that...I bet your feet are still hurting - right?” Jim remarked pointedly.

Oswald nodded slowly. “Actually, Jim dear - yes, they are feeling pretty sore.”

“OK then, well, allow me….”

Jim peeled off the sock on Oswald’s right foot slowly and carefully, smiling up at him. “Would you like a foot massage?” he asked.

“Ooh - would I?!” Oswald exclaimed in the affirmative, his eyes lighting up and his long raven lashes fluttering with childlike excitement. “Erm...the only thing is, Jim - I hope my feet don’t smell bad. They’ve done a lot of hard work for me today!”

“They don’t. They don’t smell bad at all. They smell very fresh and clean, Oz.”

“Ahh, good. That deodorant really does do what it says on the tin!” Oswald chuckled.

“Clearly. You have pretty feet, too - did I ever tell you that?” Jim took hold of Oswald’s foot gently, supporting his heel with his right hand and stroking its sole lightly with his left thumb.

“Ohhhh - do I really? Well, erm, no, don’t think you did, but..thank you - ooh that does feel good….”

Jim continued to stroke Oswald’s foot with soft, featherlight movements, spurred on by many sounds of encouragement from his fatigued little fiance. Then he started rubbing the ball of Oswald’s foot with firm circular motions. “Oh, yes!” Oswald groaned, “That feels good, Jim….so good….”


“I’m sorry I got so grumpy with you this morning,” Oswald said. Jim’s hands had just given his feet and ankles an extremely thorough and therapeutic massage, and he was feeling remarkably mellow and well-disposed. “You are an angel, James dear. I feel so much better now. My feet - and my legs - they feel better too, Jim. Especially - erm, you know - the problem one. It’s nowhere near as painful now! You really do have healing hands, y’know.”

“D’you think so? Well, that’s good, Oz - I’m glad to do it for you - and I enjoyed doing it to you. And - well, about this morning... please don’t apologise for being angry with me. You were worried about being late, and I was kinda out of order really. I wanted a proper kiss, and I was being selfish about it - I wasn’t listening to you.”

“James - let me confess something to you. Even though I was late for my meeting, and even though I was cross with you, it was worth it to have that beautiful kiss from you! I enjoyed it very much.”

“Oh, Oswald. I’m so glad you feel that way about it. It was a great kiss, wasn’t it? Anyway, I don’t know about you, but now I think I’m ready to hit the hay….”

Chapter Text


Jim had not been surprised that Oswald had turned up here.  He had been on these premises countless times: as a prisoner in custody;  to offer his ‘assistance’; and, more often than not,  just to be antagonistic.

However, on some occasions - such as this one - his little kingpin was very adept at working with the GCPD - given the right terms and circumstances.  

Currently, there was a very troublesome felon threatening their dark city, causing madness, mayhem and general panic amongst the good people of Gotham.  

This particular deviant also just happened to be trying to lord it over the King of Gotham by muscling in on his territory.

Oswald clearly couldn’t let that go - for one thing, chaos and disorder were definitely not part of his modus operandi.  ‘His’ people were peaceful and law abiding - and, furthermore, gave him a damn good living.  This kind of reckless behaviour just wouldn’t do - and it was nothing but ungrateful, when - after all - he’d even suggested to this arrogant whippersnapper that they work  together,  and had even offered him a decent slice of the takings.  Twenty percent was more than generous, as far as he was concerned.   Talk about biting the hand that fed you… ..

He just had to go.  And Oswald regretted to admit to himself that he couldn’t get rid of this turbulent presence alone.  The GCPD would have to help.  They wanted order and control just as he did, and hated this troublemaker - albeit for different reasons entirely - and so they just had to get on board.

He hadn’t wanted to involve Jim too closely in his work, for obvious reasons, but this was an exceptional case.  This crazed loon’s takeover bid just would not stand….

The indignant little gangster had made his feelings perfectly plain over breakfast that morning  - and Jim had humoured him, as usual,  by pretending to listen.  He tended to be selectively deaf when Oswald chose to go off on one of his rants.  It always seemed to be the best way of dealing with it.  After Jim’s third grunt, ‘Uh-huh’ or maybe combination of both, Oswald would usually calm down, or go off on a tangent and onto a different subject entirely - hopefully, a far less ‘contentious’ one.

But this was one bone the dog would not let go of!

“This is my - I mean, OUR -  city, Jim!”  Oswald’s mouth had practically spat out the words before tightening into a thin, petulant line.  “He’s just...well, gone too far, this time!”

“Uh-huh,” Jim commented.  He took a distracted sip from his coffee cup.

“Jim, are you listening to me?”

Uh-oh, thought Jim.

“Yeah, sure.  Course I am, sweetheart.”  He gave Oswald a big smile.

Oswald had briefly switched off from his bad mood, as he was wont to do, smiling and saying sweetly,   “Sorry Jim, of course you are, aren’t you?  Oh, could you refill my coffee cup please, dear?  Thank you!”  before launching back into his tirade.

“Anyway, Jim,” he had resumed, irritably,  “We need to work together against  this….miscreant.  He has got to be stopped!”  He had slammed his fist on the table to punctuate his statement, and Jim, predicting this, had picked up his coffee mug  in the nick of time to prevent spillage.

“I’ll walk you to the door, Oswald.”  Jim cleared his throat and looked awkward, although, of course, he was well aware that everyone here was fully appraised of what he and Oswald meant - and were - to one another.

Jim still tried to keep up appearances at work,  and stay professional whilst on duty, although he was dying to kiss that pretty mouth goodbye.  Oswald’s lips were calling to him, and he so longed to answer them in the most physical way possible.    

“After you,” he gestured politely, signalling with his hand for Oz to go through the door before him.  If he couldn’t kiss him in front of his colleagues, at least he could demonstrate his respect.

“Always the gentleman, Jim - thank you!”  Oswald replied silkily, his eyebrow raised, and his mouth stretching into a wide, feline smile.  Jim delighted in seeing his fiance’s dimples grow, as they always did when he smiled so broadly like that.

Jim knew he couldn’t be seen embracing or kissing Oswald in here, but he wanted to touch him in some way to show that he cared.  So he put his hand lightly on the small of Oswald’s back as he walked him through the door.

Oswald turned and gave him a soft, grateful smile.  “Thank you,” he mouthed.  Then he carried on limping through the doorway, ahead of Jim.

They went out into the street.

They glanced around furtively.  There was no-one to be seen.

“OK, now we’re alone….come here and give me a kiss!”  Jim commanded.

“Oh, Jim, should we? Say if someone comes along? I mean, no sense in rubbing their noses in it, right?”

“Of course not -  but it’s ok, there’s no-one around.  Come here, Cobblepot!”

“Oh Jim, you are so impetuous, I love it!”  Their lips met, and furious face-sucking followed.

“Whoah - you two, get a room!”

Oswald and Jim jumped apart like two scalded cats.

“Harv!”  Jim exclaimed, going a rather deep shade of pink.  He didn’t embarrass easily, but this was awkward….

Oswald stood up straight and dusted himself down hastily.  

The three men stood there uncomfortably for a second or two, waiting for someone to say something.   Oswald cleared his throat.

“Erm - well, Jim, I suppose I’d better be going along....see you later!” he announced, rather too brightly.  He nodded briefly at Harvey.  “Detective Bullock,” he acknowledged stiffly.   Then he turned and quickly limped away.

Jim called after him, but Oswald kept on going.

Damn, thought Jim.

He took a moment to watch - wistfully - the way Oswald’s dark blue tails switched as he hobbled along.  Then he turned back to Harvey.

“Sorry if we startled you, Harv. We didn’t see you there….”  he began .

“Clearly.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I know you’re, well,  ‘together’ an all that - but couldn’t you have chosen somewhere a bit - well, less public?”

“Admittedly, this isn’t a private area, but we weren’t exactly on GCPD territory.  And we thought there was no-one around.  If you will insist on creeping up on people….”

“Touche.  Anyway, I guess you two are ‘in love’ and all ‘true lovers’  like to kiss, right?” 

“But what’s been seen can’t be unseen now - damn my eyes!” he thought.

“Yeah, right.  Thanks for being so ‘understanding’, Harv.    And there’s no need to say ‘in love’ or ‘true lovers’ in parentheses, right?”

“OK, OK, sorry Jim, let’s not fall out over this again.  I’ll try to be more - understanding and - erm - supportive.  I promise.  Now, I dunno ‘bout you, Jim, but I’m starved!  Let’s go and get some chilli dogs….”

A text rumbled through on Jim’s phone while he was waiting at the hot dog stand.

Sorry I dashed off and left you like that.  Will make up for it later.  Loved the kiss, wait til you see what I’ve got for you!  Ozzy xx

Chapter Text

Oswald and Jim Wallow in Nostalgia.


For Samantha.


Oswald had not reneged on his promise to show Jim something extra special - in return for the kiss they had earlier exchanged - when the business of their day was done.


They lay together, in their favourite place - bed, of course - their lips having been used for much more than kissing - although that had been pretty damn fine, too.


Jim had felt like kicking himself.  Why the hell had he made himself wait for this for so long?   Well, because you’re an idiot, he told himself.


Oswald’s clever mouth had done beautiful things to him, and now it was making sweet, sentimental sounds and forming serious words.  


“I’m glad you met my mother, Jim.”  Oswald’s eyelashes flicked upwards and he peered at Jim solemnly with his piercing blue eyes.  He began to blink hard.


“So am I, Oz.”  Jim’s gruff tone changed -  from grit and gravel to warm, soft sand.  He stared back fondly at his man’s bewitching baby blues - the sapphire jewels in his little kingpin’s crown.  


He could see traces of tears in them.   The conversation was deepening - and Jim was willing to wallow with Oswald if that was what he really needed.


“She liked you - did I ever tell you that?”  A soulful smile crept across Oswald’s face.


“Well, erm, actually no, Oz - but it doesn’t matter….”


“Yes it does, Jim.  It does matter. It’s very important, you need to hear it.”


“OK, sorry sweetheart - go on.”


“Thanks, dear.  Did you notice the way she looked at you when she greeted you?  She knew you were a good man, Jim, and a gentleman - not just because I said so.  She said you were handsome too. I wanted to agree with her there as well, but of course, erm - I never told her about….that side of things….”


Jim squeezed Oswald’s hand.  


Oswald returned the gesture.  He remembered that his mother had been obsessed with the ‘hussies’ that might be out to get their claws into him and steal whatever money he might make.  No woman was good enough to be with her son. He had reassured her - somewhat impatiently, as he recalled - that he ‘didn’t even date.’


He had never been able to tell her what he truly was - in any sense.  He had never felt able to be straight with her about his criminal activities - and all the violence - although she had been given more than a clue by that brute Maroni.   He had been unable to heave the words into his mouth even then, and had succeeded in breaking both their hearts.


But,  of course, she had seen the evidence of the true nature of his business first hand - at the end.  


And she had forgiven him, called him a ‘good boy’ - loved him right up until death, in spite of everything.


He wondered if she had guessed about his other ‘little secret’ too.  He would never know now.

But this other thing - this other thing he’d been unable to tell her about - this was about love, not death and violence.   


He hoped she would have understood….at least she could hardly have called Jim a hussy!


“She could tell you weren’t just ‘any old policeman’ - she told me that, y’know, afterwards.  She wasn’t usually trusting of the police and thought they’d be hurtful to me - but she could tell from your eyes that you were different.”


“Really, Oz?  She picked up on that?”


“Yes, really, Detective Gordon.  Mother was very intuitive and sensitive.”


“She was a good woman, Oswald.  She clearly loved you very much.”


“That showed how much goodness she had - if she could love me!”


“Hey - stop that, mister!”


“Well, let’s face it, Jim - I’m hardly a candidate for the world’s best son, am I?”


“You tried to protect her, Oswald.  She knew you loved her. And….I’m glad she could see that I ...well, liked you, deep down, too.  I know I didn’t say as much - and didn’t show it. In fact, I think I managed it a bit too well!  You know, Oz, looking back - I’m sure I acted like a real jerk when I met her.”


“No, not at all, Jim!  You were just a bit - overwhelmed, that’s all.  Mother was a very….erm, demonstrative person, and I know she could be - well, somewhat theatrical.  But she definitely liked you, and she sensed that you were a very good friend to me - believe me, she was a fan!”


“Is that so?  Well, I’m glad I made the right impression on my future fiance’s mother!   And yeah, I guess I was - um, a bit bowled over by her presence. She was - well,  like no other woman I have ever met.” Jim cleared his throat and scratched behind his ear.


Oswald held Jim’s gaze with a wide, glassy stare.  He smiled gratefully.


“She was one in a million, Jim,” he said quietly,  “And you….you would have been the best son-in-law to her, I know that too.  If only....if only you’d had the chance.” Oswald’s blue eyes became more misted and melancholy.


Jim stroked Oswald’s cheek, took him by the chin and kissed him softly.  “C’mon, now,” he soothed. “It’s OK.”


Oswald’s tears fell.


“Hey, sweetheart,” Jim said, brushing away the trickling tears with his thumbs.  “Don’t feel too sad. I can still be a good son-in-law, y’know.”


Jim made a mental note to take Oswald to visit the grave tomorrow after work.  He would make sure to get flowers - he was sure Oswald had mentioned that lilies were Gertrude’s favourites.


“Yes, I know.  You would still make her proud.  And….well, ” Oswald continued - in a more hushed voice, as if his mother would be listening in - “you helped me avenge her by shooting Galavan.  I will be eternally grateful to you for that.”


Jim squirmed and furrowed his brows.


“But, erm, Oswald - you paid - you suffered - for what I did!” he rasped harshly.  He touched Oswald’s shoulder, then stroked his arm anxiously.


Oswald reached across and grasped Jim’s hand.


“Jim - Jim, dear!  I didn’t mean for you to bring that up!  Please, don’t torture yourself over it any more!”  he urged. He squeezed Jim’s hand hard.


“Torture - yeah, that’s a very appropriate word to choose, Oswald.   You were being tortured, and I chose to abandon you.  I chose to deny that they were hurting you. Now I can’t help thinking about what they did to you in that place….and I did nothing, when I should have been getting you out of there.”


“Don’t concern yourself James dear, what’s past is past, as I keep telling you!”  Oswald kissed Jim’s hand emphatically. “Listen, Jim. I survived the experience, and it made me stronger.    I’m still here, in one piece, with you. In OUR BED.” He wrinkled up his nose and giggled. “I can hardly believe I’m saying that , Jim - OUR bed.  I thought I’d be waking up alone for the rest of my miserable life. I’m so happy now, and I’m looking forward to the future - with you as my husband - and bedmate, dear James.  So, let’s change the subject and move on, honey - please .”  Oswald nose-bumped Jim and kissed his cheek.


“OK, Oz, OK - if you insist,” Jim chuckled, with a smile of surrender.  He returned Oswald’s affectionate gesture.


“You are too good to me though,  Ozzy....hey, just a second….did you just call me ‘honey’?!”


“Oh, yes - so I did.  Well spotted Jim! I did call you honey, didn’t I?  Well? Do you like that?” Oswald quizzed. He cocked his head and raised his eyebrow playfully.  


“Well, I guess so, yeah.    It is - well - kinda sweet!”


“Yes, it is, Jim.  Honey is sweet isn’t it?  So it’s very apt - at least,  I think so.….” He shrugged and grinned impishly.


Jim beamed.  “Thank you, Ozzy - sweetheart.”  He winked. Oswald giggled and bit his lip.


“You’re very sweet too.”  Jim pressed his forehead to Oswald’s and gently kissed the bridge of his nose, then moved down to his lips and repeated the action.


“So you’ve told me, dear.”  Oswald’s mouth stretched wide, his dimples grew and his eyes lit up like two big blue beacons.  “That was a good kiss, by the way. Very creative! And now, James - honey - can we FINALLY agree to forget about the Arkham thing - once and for all?  Pretty please?” Oswald fluttered his lashes.


“Aww c’mon, Cobblepot - you know I can’t say no to you when you ask me like that!”  Jim huffed with mock exasperation.


“Quite right!   Mission accomplished, then.  You know it makes sense to let the water run under that particular bridge.  Anyway....Jim, I was just thinking - I’m sure my father would have liked you, too.”  Oswald’s smile softened. “He was a wonderful man, with a very generous spirit. He forgave me for all my past transgressions.”


“Well then -  obviously, you take after him, Oz!” Jim cut in smartly.


“Oh - do you think so, Jim?  But - he was a very good man….and I’m….”


“Yeah, of course you’re like him!   You are very forgiving about all the wrongs I did you - like, well, what we were just talking about.  You are very generous and warm-hearted towards the people you love and you are honourable when people show loyalty to you.   So yeah, sure, sweetheart - you do take after him!”


“Well, thank you Jim.”  Oswald swallowed hard. “That is a very lovely thing to say.  But, y’know, I like to forgive you because it makes you happy, and when you’re happy -   well, that rubs off on me too. And by the way - speaking of the people I love - you do know I love you more than anything and anyone else in the whole world, don’t you?”  Oswald’s words and his soft, earnest manner made a lump come to Jim’s throat.


“Thank you, Oz.  Ditto!” he rasped.  He grasped Oswald’s hand and raised it to his lips.


The corners of Oswald’s mouth began to lift again.  He looked away coyly for a moment. When he turned back his eyes were shining there was a faint blush on his cheeks.


“Erm - anyway - listen, Jim,” he resumed, composing himself, “it means a lot to me that you compared me to my father.  It hadn’t occurred to me that I could have anything in common with him apart from blood. He was a very peaceful, gentle person, y’know.”  He looked apologetic.


“I am sorry I never met him.  But, Oz - you can be gentle too.  You are being gentle now, right? And I think we bring each other peace, too.”


“What, amongst all this death and violence that is our world, James Gordon?  Is that possible?”


“Yep.  Of course it’s possible.  We’re not fighting now, are we?”


Oswald pursed up his lips thoughtfully.  “True,” he shrugged, “we are pretty much at peace with one another these days - and I feel very serene just now, I have to admit that.”  


Oswald moved up close and wrapped his right leg and arm around Jim, feeling Jim’s warmth radiate against his body. The feeling of skin against skin was something he thought he’d never know.  It was a wonderful sensation, and with Jim, it felt perfect.


He snuggled up and nuzzled his fiance’s neck, breathing in his rich, warm scent.  Jim arched his neck and hummed appreciatively.


“Mmmm, Jim dear,” Oswald sighed,  “this is nice! So cosy! I like this position, it’s SO much better for my bad leg.   But - are you comfortable too, James?” He kissed Jim’s neck.


“Mmmm, yep, I’m good, Oz.”  Jim loved the feel of Oswald’s sweet mouth on his skin.  He also knew he wouldn’t dream of saying he wasn’t comfortable - he would do anything to help ease the pain in Ozzy’s poor leg.   He would definitely have to start the new day by giving that a therapeutic rub - he knew how much his little gangster appreciated that, and he so loved to touch him and show him love.


He felt guilty about the way he had herded and pushed Oswald to the edge of the pier when he had been ordered by Don Falcone to execute the ‘little snitch’.  Sure, he had saved Oswald’s life by not going through with the killing - but even so, Ozzy had just had his leg broken - badly - by Fish and had been made to ‘walk’  from the boot of Harv’s car right to the place of intended execution. This had, literally, added insult to injury.


Little Ozzy had been so scared, and his incandescent blue eyes had looked up at Jim with abject terror.  They had looked so beautiful even then, in his fear and panic.


He recounted how Ozzy had almost stumbled and fallen more than once and had clearly been in some distress, and terrible pain - but he was only a snitch, after all - what did he matter?  What had his life been worth to anyone apart from himself?


Well, for one thing, his mother, of course, valued her son above anything else - and he, James Gordon, had felt a sharp pang within that he had been unable - and unwilling - to explain to himself.  It was certainly not just pity.


He had tried to fool himself that he’d only spared Oswald because he’d felt sorry for him, and it was the morally right thing to do.  And that was part of it, but not the whole. Because, of course, he had loved Oswald right from that moment, but had been far too frightened to acknowledge it.


He’d wanted Oswald, and now he had him - and didn’t want to let him go.


He stroked his lover’s silky, fragrant raven hair.


“Mmmm, Jim, that feels dreamy,” murmured Oswald drowsily.


“Ditto, Oz,” Jim replied.


“Jim - I suddenly….feel really tired,”  Oswald slurred, blinking heavily.


“Well,  I’m not surprised.  You’ve had a long day - and you’ve - well, really exerted yourself, haven’t you?  Get some rest now sweetheart - you’ve got another busy day tomorrow.” He kissed Oswald’s crown.  


“Mmm-hmmm.  You get some sleep as well….bet you’re tired too, honey.”


Jim smiled to hear Oswald call him ‘honey’ again.   He gave him a little squeeze. ‘Cobblepot Cuddling’ was one of his favourite pastimes.     


Jim suddenly realised that he was extremely tired, verging on exhausted.  Oswald was right - he really needed to sleep. Talking with Oswald had made him forget how fatigued he was, but now, shut-eye was something he really needed to have.


“Goodnight, Ozzy,” he said softly.  He kissed Oswald’s crown again.


Oswald didn’t reply.  He was breathing slowly and deeply, and was clearly unconscious.


“I love you,” Jim whispered.  He lay as still as he could, even though the weight of Oswald’s leg was starting to cause him some discomfort.  


He stayed awake for some time despite feeling so weary.  He hardly dared move despite the ache in his own leg lest he disturbed his little lover.   He watched him as he slept, looking so restful and calm in his state of slumber. He felt Oswald’s warm breath against his skin, and the expansion and contraction of his slim body as he took the air into and expelled it from his lungs.


He would never tire of watching him sleep and feeling and hearing him breathe….and touching his bare skin with his own….


Now his soulmate was asleep, he could take heed of his long raven lashes, his pretty, slightly-parted lips and the adorable freckles scattered all over the prominent bridge of his nose.  Strands of jet black fringe fell onto his smooth, pale forehead.


Jim’s heart turned over.


“You look like a sweet dark angel,” he whispered.  “You are’....beautiful.”


He finally fell asleep by trying to count all those beautiful freckles...a task he never managed to complete….

Chapter Text

Oz and Jim go to the seaside.

It was Jim’s idea to go to the beach.


It was a sunny day, after all, and they didn’t have any appointments to keep.  They should make the most of the fine weather. He had tried these incentives on his reluctant little lover - who admitted that sunbathing was not exactly one of his most favourite activities.


“It’s boring, lying in the sun all day.  I can think of a lot more interesting things we could do right here, at home.   Why would I want to worship the sun when I can worship you?” he said silkily, batting his dark lashes seductively.


Jim felt his heart pound and his knees buckle.  “C’mon, Cobblepot, play fair!” he protested, rolling his eyes and folding his arms in an attempt to be stern.  “You know what that act of yours does to me!”


“Then stay, James - stay home, where I can ravish you and you can ravish me. Let’s not go out….” Oswald came to him, limping with determination,  and slung his arms around his neck. He kissed Jim fleetingly - giving him just a taste of what he knew he desired. Jim grasped Oswald’s arms, trying to pull them away, but Oswald’s mind was made up, and he was brooking no escape plan from Jim.


“Don’t fight me, Jim dear,” he coaxed, “Give in to me and enjoy it!  You know you want to...” He planted his lips on Jim’s again and this time pressed firmly, pushing Jim’s mouth apart.


Jim melted - inevitably.  He never had a choice. He released his grip and let go of Oswald’s arms, floundering for a second, then he surrendered to Oswald as instructed - wrapping his arms around Oswald’s back,  opening his lips and then closing them, over and over….feeling the softness of his lover’s mouth and the warmth of his sweet breath, then the presence of his probing tongue...and craving more of it.  He knew he was lost.


He moved his hands to Oswald’s head and ran his eager fingers through the soft black spikes on his raven crown.

“Seriously though, Oz,” Jim resumed,  “It’s still not too late to go to the beach…”


They were lying in bed.  Jim should have known that they would end up here.  “Damn, you’re good, Cobblepot - too good!” he thought.  His shy little virgin had definitely come out of his shell - and then some…..and Jim had to admit that he couldn’t really complain.


“But Jim, dear - you know I have a delicate complexion, ” Oswald pouted, ogling Jim’s chest and distractedly stroking the fine, downy fair hair on it.  “ I burn so easily in the sun!”


“I know, I know - and you know I love your skin, Oz,” Jim had said soothingly, reaching out and gently caressing Oswald’s baby-smooth, slender white torso with the tip of his fingers.  “And you know I wouldn’t want it to get damaged, any more than you would. That’s why I bought the sunblock.”


“Sunblock?  You bought sunblock, just for me?”  Oswald’s eyelashes flicked upwards and his bright eyes held Jim’s in a meaningful gaze of gratitude.  “What factor?” He arched his eyebrow quizzically.


“Well, Factor 50 of course.   That’s the highest one they make.   I bought a sun umbrella so you can lie under that and relax in the shade.  And speaking of shades, Oz - you can wear those Ray Banns I bought for you, and a baseball cap….


“A baseball cap?!”  Oswald shuddered and wrinkled his brow disdainfully.  “Really, Jim? Don’t say you got me a baseball cap! That’s hardly my style, now is it?”


“Maybe not - but that might be a good thing, right?  Don’t you think that would be the perfect disguise? You could go incognito for the afternoon.”


Oswald pursed up his lips and tilted his head, processing this concept for a moment.  “Hmmmm - you do make a point, James!” he acknowledged, nodding and smiling.


“ And besides, I think you would look cute - and adorable - in a cap and Ray Banns,” Jim thought.


“So - what d’ya say then Oz?”

“Hmmmmm….”  Oswald repeated, frowning again and biting his lip thoughtfully. “Well, Jim, I still don’t know….”  


Jim could see his lover’s resolve was weakening.  That look he had given him, flashing his stunning sapphires and then staring so sweetly, so suggestively, when he had mentioned the sunblock, was very telling.  He was ready to yield, and Jim had to make the most of that as soon as possible.


“C’mon, Oz,”  he coaxed. He grasped Oswald’s hand and lightly stroked its palm with his thumb in a gentle, circular motion.  Oswald quivered slightly, then relaxed and sighed. He looked up again, eyeing Jim cautiously. “Erm….well….” he faltered.


“Admit it,”  Jim continued,  “a bit of sea air will do us both good.”


He looked earnestly into Oswalds eyes, raising his eyebrows and stretching his lips into an encouraging smile.


Oswald stared back and felt the corners of his mouth begin to lift.   He couldn’t help it. The way Jim was looking at him, the soothing action of his thumb and the soft, gruff tone of his voice were rapidly wearing down his resistance.   He knew that he would just have to grant his wish. He was putty in Jim’s hands….


However, when Jim touched him in that special way and did those incredible things to his body -  as he had done just minutes ago - he had to admit that he was more like cement than putty….


He also visualised how gorgeous his fiance’s near-naked body would look in the little trunks that Jim had shown him he would be wearing.  He pictured Jim’s fine manly form strutting up and down the beach on his strong, lithe legs....his fair hair all wet and tousled, and his body glistening with droplets of seawater and with little grains of sand clinging to his exposed skin....




Oswald blinked and flinched. He found Jim’s deep blue eyes searching his gaze and his brows  frowning with puzzlement.


“You ok, Ozzy?”  He grasped Oswald’s hand again and their fingers intertwined.


“Oh, yes, yes....of course I am.  I’m sorry Jim - I drifted off there for a moment.  What were you saying?” He blushed and squeezed Jim’s hand.


“I was saying, so, do you think you’d like to go to the beach after all?  We could still get in a couple of hours before the sun goes down.”


“Oh - well, yes, of course we will, Jim, if you really want to.  Of course we will go….one good turn deserves another, as I always say….”


Jim quickly packed a picnic for their trip.


He announced each item as he placed it in the cool box.   Ozzy looked on with fascinated, wide blue eyes.


Oswald secretly had mixed feelings about this trip.  VERY mixed. He hadn’t been to the coast in years - not since the last time his mother had taken him there as a child.  He was just 10. He had been covered from top to toe of course, as he burned so easily, but he remembered the scent of the salt air along with the smell of the thick, greasy sun lotion his mother had insisted on smothering him in.  He remembered the feel of the warm sea breeze on his cheek.


He had some good memories, but they mostly weren’t so pleasant.


He had only wanted to go paddling, but a small group of children, who had recognised him from school,  had seen him in his long pants and long sleeved vest and had teased him, calling him a freak (as they were wont to do), and had then ganged up on him and pushed him around, then splashed him deliberately, soaking him through.


He had run away as soon as he could, and had gone crying to his mother, who had soothed him in her inimitable way, shushing him gently and telling him to take no notice of those idiot children.  She had cuddled him in a big bath sheet, then shielded him protectively while he got changed into dry clothes inside the towel. Then she had taken him home and given him peppermint tea with lots of honey, wrapped him up in a blanket and rocked him in her arms, singing to him like a nightingale to comfort him.


He had shown no inclination to go to the seaside since that day.


“Right, Oz, here we are.   I made us tuna sandwiches….and some peanut butter as well, I know you like all that.  A bottle of lemonade for us both and a good Sauvignon for you, mister, as you don’t have to drive.  I didn’t think red wine would be appropriate on a hot day like this.”


“You have done well, Mr Police Detective - especially at such short notice,” Oswald commended brightly.  “You put my favourite foods in there - and this Sauvignon is an excellent label, I am impressed!”


“Well, I can’t fail to learn something about wine when I live with you!”  Jim winked. “Anyway, I made us a flask of coffee as well - just in case we do want a hot drink later.”  He paused and looked meaningfully at Oswald. “And don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten to pack the sugar for your coffee - OR the sunblock, sweetheart!”


Oswald beamed.  “I suspected that, Jim dear….I had complete faith that you wouldn’t forget a thing.  But anyway, Jim, are you sure that you didn’t pack ….well, too much food? There is rather a lot of it here, enough for a whole army, I’d say!”


“Naaa, I don’t think so.  The sea air will give us an appetite - and of course, when we’ve been swimming I imagine we’ll be pretty ravenous too.”


“Er….erm...swimming?” Oswald repeated, sounding alarmed.  His huge, happy smile was replaced by a look of mild panic.


“Hey, mister - what’s up?   You’re not telling me you can’t swim  - I know you can! I have seen you - remember?  You are a very strong swimmer!”


Jim was so glad of that.  His little Oswald had managed to swim to shore under water - freezing deep water, and with a freshly-broken leg.    He must have been in agony and yet he had managed not to drown, or get pneumonia from the cold - thank God. His cute little survivor had not been ready to die, and he hoped that this attitude would continue for many more years to come….


“Yes, of course, Jim,  I am excellent at swimming. I’m a Penguin, for God’s sake,” Oswald scoffed, rolling his eyes.  His sense of his humour had resurfaced.


“Oh yeah, of course - I should’ve remembered that!” Jim agreed.  They both laughed.


“Then, what’s the problem, Oz?  Don’t you enjoy swimming?”


“It’s not that, Jim.  I do love to swim, but….well, Jim - you see, we will be out in public - in front of lots of other people - and I would need to wear shorts to go swimming, right?”


“Well, yes, Oz, it does help to wear them to go swimming - unless we’re going to a nudist beach, which we’re not - right?”   They both laughed again.


“I see what you’re getting at, Jim, but the thing is, dear -  this thing….” Oswald touched his right leg pointedly. “....this will be - well, out on display, if I wear shorts - won’t it?  I mean...if I could just wear long pants instead, I’d feel better….”


“Oh, Oz - sweetheart.  Come here….” Jim beckoned to him. Oswald went to Jim’s arms, feeling them surround him and then enfold him protectively.  He felt Jim’s hands rubbing his back in a comforting way. “Jim,” he whispered weakly. “I’m sorry to be so insecure.”


“Shhhh, don’t be sorry,” Jim soothed.  “It’s ok.” Oswald fought off his tears.


“Your leg is nothing to be ashamed of, Oz.”   Jim kissed Oswald’s crown tenderly.


“You are lovely to say that, Jim,” sighed Oz into Jim’s shoulder.  “And I know you mean it - and I love you for saying it. But what about...all the others?  I’m sure they don’t agree with your opinion, Jim, and if they stare at me and point and make fun I think I’ll curl up and die!”


“Oh, Ozzy...sweetheart…”  Jim squeezed Oswald tightly.  “Is this why you didn’t want to go?  Because you are embarrassed about your leg?”


“Well, yes, Jim - kind of.  I mean, can you blame me? When I’m all done up in my smart suits and my leg is undercover, as it were - I can forget about it, even though my limp is so, well - pronounced, and painful. I can bear the physical pain, Jim, it’s ridicule I can’t stand!  If it’s out there, on display - all deformed and swollen and broken, for everyone to see...well, that’s different. I mean, it’s hideous!!”


“It isn’t, Oz.  It isn’t hideous.   You shouldn’t say such things.    You’re beautiful, Oz. I know that for a fact -  I’ve seen all of you, remember? All of you, with nothing to hide.  I love looking at you...and touching you, all over, including here…..”  Jim’s hand strayed down to Oswald’s right leg and came to rest there. Oswald gasped and felt his eyes become very wet.   “I’ll be proud to be seen on the beach with you,” Jim continued gently, “even if you do refuse to give my eyes a treat by refusing to wear those sexy shorts for me.”


“Really?” Oswald raised his head and stared back at Jim with big teary eyes.


“Yes - of course, really, Oz.”  Jim smiled and pressed his forehead to Oswald’s.  Then he gave him a playful peck on the nose. Oswald giggled.  “Oooh, Jim, you know that tickles!”


“Well, I wanted to make you laugh, Oz.  I love to hear it. And it makes those cute dimples of yours get bigger - I love seeing them grow!”


“You do?”  Oz treated Jim to a wide, extra-dimpled grin.  A faint blush appeared on his cheeks.


“Yep.  I love those dimples in your jaw, Cobblepot!   They make me want to do...this!” Jim grasped Oswald by the cheeks and pinched them.


Oz continued giggling gleefully and his eyes sparkled and shone.  


“There  - do you feel better now?”  Jim took hold of Oswald’s hands and squeezed them.


“Yes, Jim.  Much better.”  Oswald returned Jim’s pressure, his azure eyes wide and glistening.  “I can honestly say that I do.”


“Well, anyway, sweetheart - just to labour my point - you have absolutely nothing to worry about.  You will be the most handsome man on that beach today and I will be very proud to be seen with you.  I won’t force you to wear shorts if you really don’t want to, but I think you’d look perfect in them.”  He lifted Oswald’s hands and kissed them.


“Jim Gordon - you are such a charmer!”  Oswald beamed. “Very well, I shall risk going to the beach, and into the sea, and maybe even go as far as flashing my ankles - just for you.”


“There you go, sweetheart.  You know it makes sense.”

By the time they arrived at the shore, Oswald was relieved to notice that the beach was almost deserted.  It was late, after all. The people who remained seemed to be in the process of packing up to leave - probably to arrive home in time for tea and prime time tv.   There were just one or two couples scattered around, and one family that he could see - with parents preparing to take their tired, fractious, hungry children home.


Maybe he could be brave after all.


Jim had brought plenty of sunblock to re apply to Oswald’s delicate skin.  Oswald had enjoyed Jim rubbing the lotion into him before they had departed for the coast - and of course, he had insisted on reciprocating.   


Jim had come armed with extra cream for re-application.


He set up the sun umbrella in a nice quiet spot and laid down the ground sheet and blanket.   He beckoned Ozzy to lie down on it while he put up the sun umbrella.


Oswald was, of course, covered up from head to toe; and he had dutifully - albeit under protest - put on the baseball cap and sunglasses.  However, he also had on long sleeves and pants, as he had insisted. He glanced around furtively, hoping that there would be no unpleasant surprises.


He lay back as instructed and placed his hands behind his head - watching Jim do all the work, as usual.  Now, this WAS pleasurable. He ogled the way Jim’s muscles flexed as he hoisted up the sun umbrella and positioned it just right to shade Oswald from the harmful UV rays that could threaten to damage his delicate skin.


Jim wasn’t, of course, wearing long sleeves or pants.  He had on a white vest and blue shorts, which both showed off his slender, well-toned physique to full advantage.  Oswald sighed with happiness. “My God - he is just perfect!” he thought. “And he’s mine - all mine!”


He didn’t know that Jim had glanced down at him and was thinking exactly the same thing.


Jim pulled up the handle of the cool box, then lifted the heavy container of food over to the blanket, squatting down and placing it carefully on the ground sheet.


He sat down next to Oz and grinned down at his lover’s supine body.  Oswald beamed back at him.


“Are you comfortable down there?”


“Oh yes Jim - very.”




“You know me - I am always peckish!”  Oswald chuckled mischievously. He moved up onto his elbows and adjusted his cap.  “This is nice, y’know, Jim,” he added, with a soft smile.


“Yes it is, isn’t it?  I’m glad you feel comfortable here.  See? It was a good idea after all, eh?  Oh, and I get it - you are a penguin and you’re peckish, very witty, ha ha!”


“Well you know me, dear - I can’t resist my little jokes.  I’m glad you appreciate my humour. Oh, yes, I’d love a tuna sandwich, thank you, Jim.  After all, Penguins do eat fish, yes? Snarf snarf, ha ha! And some wine to wash it down with?  Yes, that would be most welcome, thank you dear….well, this is the life isn’t it?”


“So, then, sweetheart - to recap - you’re glad you came?”


“Jim, dear - you know I’m always glad to come anywhere with you!”  Oswald lowered his sunglasses and winked saucily.


“Whoah, steady on, mister!  You really ARE relaxed, aren’t you?!”


“Well, like you said, Jim - it’s the sea air.  It’s making me frisky!”


“So, that was you NOT being frisky earlier?”


“That was me just getting warmed up….”  Oswald grinned demonically.


“Now I AM glad I persuaded you to come here!”

“Jim, dear....”  


Jim could tell that the wine - as well as the sea breeze - had gone straight to Oswald’s head.  He had eaten well, but not quite enough to soak up all the wine he had consumed. Jim had started making him spritzers with the lemonade and then switched to coffee to slow him down.

He was happy to see Oswald looking so relaxed and mellow.   He had removed his cap and taken off his shoes and socks. Jim had made sure to top up the sunblock on his face and feet and keep him under cover of the sun umbrella, especially now he was hatless.


He hoped he wasn’t being overly protective or smothering.  He just wanted to look after him, that was all.


“Yes, Ozzy?”  He reached out and stroked Oswald’s jaw, lightly brushing the delightful dimples on Oz’s cheek with his thumb.


“I love it here.  Thank you for bringing me.”


“Glad to hear it, Oz.  You wanna chance a splash in the sea?”  He cupped Oswald’s cheek and Oswald grasped his hand, holding it there.  He turned his face and kissed Jim’s palm.


“You know what?  I think I might! But..erm, Jim, you will come with me, won’t you?”


“Yes, of course, Oz, I’ll be with you every step of the way.”


“You know, Jim - I think I’ll chance taking off these long pants and try out those shorts you brought for me.”


“You sure?”


“Yes, I’m sure.  Besides, there’s no-one around now.”


“Well, I know you’ll look cute in them.”


“Thank you, Jim!”


“Here, make sure to use the sunblock on your legs.  It’s waterproof so it’ll be fine to use for swimming….”


So Ozzy stripped off the long pants and changed into his shorts inside the bath sheet.  He suddenly felt excited - and liberated.


“Second thoughts - let me put your sunblock on your legs for you, Oz.  Then I can give them a nice massage to get them warmed up for your swim.”


“Ooh, Jim - You know I won’t refuse a massage from you!”    Oswald’s eyes lit up.


“And you know I won’t pass up an opportunity to lay my hands on you, Cobblepot!”


“Oh, Jim.  You are incorrigible.  Do keep it up!”


Jim greased his hands with the rich lotion and then stroked it down Oswald’s legs, gently rubbing it in to his skin.  He was especially tender with Oswald’s right leg, showing it extra love and attention. Oswald hummed with appreciation as Jim administered the treatment.


“You’re good, James Gordon.  That felt sublime. You have skilled hands, as I’m sure I told you before.”


“Yes, you did.  And I’m glad to oblige - always.”


“Right, Mr Cobblepot.  Are you ready?” Jim got to his feet and offered Oswald his hand.


“I am!”


“Then, let’s go!”


Oswald took Jim’s  hand with a smile. Jim helped him to his feet.  “Thank you - you’re a gentleman, James - as ever,” he said.  He felt the soft sand, warm on the soles of his feet.


The sand was deep and Oswald had a little trouble walking.  Jim noticed this, but didn’t want to make a big thing of it.  He turned to Oswald and announced grandly:


“I don’t think the King of Gotham should be made to walk into the sea!”


“Oh?”  Oswald peered up at him quizzically.


“Come here, Your Majesty!  Your chariot awaits.”


Jim came forward, took hold of Oswald and hoisted him up into his arms.  Oswald squealed with delighted surprise and slung his arms around Jim’s neck.


“Oh, Detective Gordon - what a wonderful way to travel……”


“Well, you know I need to practice....” Jim winked.


Jim carried him off, Oswald giggling madly and kicking his legs playfully.  


“Here we are, Fay Wray and King Kong!” joked Jim.


“More like the Creature from the Black Lagoon…”


“Hey!  Do you want me to dunk you in the ocean, Cobblepot?  Anyway, I take back what I said - you are not Fay Wray - you’re so much prettier than her….”


“Oooh, Jim.  Really! You flatterer!  Just wait til I get you home!”


When they came near to the water’s edge, Jim deposited Oswald gently, reneging completely on his idle threat to drop him into the sea.


Jim glanced over his lover, who looked shy and uncertain again.  “You sexpot, Cobblepot!” he grinned. He followed up closely with a wolf whistle.  Oswald blushed, bit his lip and smiled knowingly.


They held hands and walked forward tentatively until the edge of the waves licked at their toes.


Oswald gave a happy little yelp as the water first kissed his feet.  It was cold, but he felt strangely exhilarated.


Being with Jim, by the sea, and now about to, literally, take the plunge, he felt a thrill of excitement.   He so wanted their wedding day to be as perfect as this.

Chapter Text

Harvey Goes Home.

Jim and Harvey’s working day was done.  Finally.  It had felt like a long, long day.

Jim gave a hefty sigh of relief - he was ready for respite.  Pity Oswald had said he would probably be back late tonight.  He had been looking forward to a Cobblepot cuddle when he got home.

Still, the amorous texts his creative little criminal had sent along with his advanced abject apologies would help keep him going for a while - especially that last one!  His little kingpin could be so...well, saucy when he put his mind to it....he would most definitely be filing away that message for a rainy day!  And it bode well for what might be in store for him later, depending on how tired - or how frisky - his little Ozzy turned out to be.  

If he was exhausted and unable to perform the particular trick he’d promised in his text - well, that would keep, of course, but the least his dapper little dandy could expect was a good therapeutic massage - shoulders, legs, maybe even a full-body, if Jim could stretch to it.

It was therapy for Jim too.  Touching and manipulating Oswald’s bare body did wonders for his own state of mind.  He loved the sensation of his smooth alabaster skin, its pliability beneath his fingers….He delighted in feeling the knots and tensions beneath the flesh physically melting away as he worked.

He also loved the aromatic scent of the essential oils as they warmed up through the gentle friction between his fiance’s skin and his own hands.  The oils he mostly used were sandalwood and cedarwood which were Oswald’s favourites.  They smelt warm and woody.  But when Oswald was feeling particularly stressed out he changed the blend to a more relaxing combination like camomile and lavender.  

The fragrant, soothing smell and Oswald’s sighs of appreciation and/or groans of pleasure always added to the enjoyment of the experience.

And….if they were both feeling up to it, the process might serve as an overture to even greater things….

That new super-king-size antique tester-style bed had already seen some pretty vigorous action….the top-of-the-range sprung mattress had been tested to the max!  And it had passed with flying colours.

Then again there were very few items of furniture, both soft and hard, that hadn’t been ‘broken in’ by the amorous pair at some time or another.  Jim couldn’t look at the sheepskin rug in front of  the fireplace without picturing his gorgeous little guy lying on his side, his head resting on his propped-up arm, greeting Jim wearing nothing but his wide blue ‘come hither’ stare.  That had been a very pleasant surprise when he’d arrived home late one evening….to put it mildly!

But if they were too tired to show love in the time-honoured fashion, a good rub down would still aid sleep - sweet sleep, in each other’s arms.  There could be much worse things than holding one another as they fell asleep, then waking together feeling refreshed after a night not fraught and interrupted with anxious or disturbing dreams.  

There were still plenty of those occasions too.  Then they would need each other’s affection and kindness more than ever, and they always gave and received it in abundance.

Meanwhile, Jim would rattle around in that huge penthouse that he and Oswald had just moved into.  It seemed that the swish condo by the docks had still not been quite good enough for his fussy little fiance - not private enough or grand enough for the King of Gotham and his future husband.

They could always work on filling up the space.  They’d not discussed the possibility of having children.  They weren’t even married yet, but Jim would love to think that their future might include a family.

Oswald had insisted on taking charge and doing all the planning for their wedding, but he’d not shared any details of them with Jim yet - not even the date. Jim would surely need to know that, in case he had to make preparations - such as, maybe, going on a diet!  

Since getting together with Oswald he had never eaten so well, but he was sure his waistline was expanding.  His pants felt more than a little tight! 

Jim tried not to feel too restlessly eager, and he understood that Oswald had been working long hours - but he was starting to suspect that their marriage plans had been put on the back-burner.  It was hard not to feel impatient.

But at least they had a beautiful home to share.

It was a fabulous place and he was proud of it, but the enormity of it also magnified his feelings of loneliness when Oswald wasn’t around.  It was just too damn big, quiet and empty up there when his lively, sparky little devil was absent.   He looked forward to Oswald’s bright, cheerful voice calling, “Jim dear, I’m home!”  Or even his less-good-humoured rants about something and/or someone who had ticked him off that day….which he always made an effort to keep to a minimum for Jim’s sake, and to try to keep to the rules they had set themselves about not bringing their work home at the end of the day.

But whatever mood his little Cobblepot happened to be in  - and whatever version of him came in through that entrance hall and into the living room - Jim was always delighted to see him,  if only to know that he was still alive.

He would find something to occupy himself until Oswald arrived home - after checking on dinner, which Olga would have left for them to self-serve from the slow-cooker.  

Oswald had taken Olga back after her abject apology for deserting him and her heartfelt plea for him to allow her the privilege of serving him again.

“You always gave me warm feeling here,” she had grovelled, pouting emphatically and touching her chest with her chubby, oversized fingers.   “Mr Nygma, he was bad man, I never liked him, you know - I knew you could do better!  And I know he hurt you - nasty man!  I had to run away….he FRIGHTENED  me….”

“Of course!” Oswald had looked open-mouthed and scandalised and had made appropriately sympathetic noises.  “Olga, I completely understand.  Think no more about it.”

“Oh, thank you so much, Mr Cobblepot!  I like that new one, though.  That detective man.  He’s GOOD man.  Much better for you.”

“Thank you, Olga!”  Oswald had said with genuine warmth.  “Detective Gordon and I - we’re getting married, y’know,”  he’d added confidentially, with a coy smile.

“Ah, good.  So he bought you nice ring too?”  She had lowered her mascara-laden lashes and pursed up her scarlet lips lasciviously as she had spied the sparkling sapphire stone on Oswald’s finger.

Oswald’s smile had relaxed - just a little.

“Yes - yes he did, Olga.  It is a lovely piece of jewellery, isn’t it?”

He had instinctively put his other hand over his finger, covering the bright blue stone protectively.  

“Anyway, Olga - how do you feel about coming to work for me again?  After all - we are old friends, right?”  He leaned forward and raised his eyebrow meaningfully.   “Subject to six months probation, of course.”

Jim thought hard about what to do with his own company.  He could play some music, have a whisky or two - or a glass or two of wine - take a long soak in the tub, maybe even play chess by  himself at the little table set up by the window in the corner.  He might even win…..

Or maybe,  just go out on the terrace and stare out at the view….and think….and listen out for signs of life…

Sometimes, you could have too much peace and tranquility.

Then something suddenly occurred to him….

Yeah, it was about time.   He had left off doing this for long enough.  

“Well, see ya tomorrow, Jimbo,” Harvey was saying, as he straightened his hat, stretched himself with a groan of relief and prepared to leave.  “Have a good evening - erm, what am I saying?  Of course you’ll have a good one!”  He winked mischievously.

“Yeah, yeah, OK,  I get it,”  Jim arched his eyebrows and bared his teeth good humouredly.  He scratched behind his ear distractedly and glanced away for a moment.

Harvey wrinkled up his nose and shrugged.  “Sorry, couldn’t resist!”

“I know.  It’s ok - anyway you’re right, so how can I argue with it?  Anyway - Harv - before you go, do you have any plans this evening?”

“Well, let’s just check my calendar - hmmm, nope!  I don’t think the Duchess of Devon-shire requires my company tonight, as it happens!  I think her card is full.  Ha!”  Harvey gave a heavy sigh.

Jim grinned sympathetically.  “Poor Harv!  Well, do you fancy keeping me company?”

“What, is lover b - erm, Oswald not going to be at home waiting for you?”

“Nah, he texted me to say he’ll be back late tonight.”  Jim couldn’t stop his own heavy sigh from following.

“Ah.  That’s a shame.”  Harvey cleared his throat and left an awkward silence waiting to be filled.

“Well, he’s busy - got important meetings, and stuff….you know the way it is....”  Jim looked away and scratched behind his ear again.

“Yeah, sure.  Well, in any case Jimbo, I’d love to come and look around your fancy new love nest,” Harvey said flippantly.

“There’s no need to say it like that,  Harvey.”  Jim put his hands on his hips sternly.

“OK, OK, soldier boy - stand down.  Point taken.  I was out of order.  And I’d love to come back and see your new - place of residence!”

“Well, OK.  I’m glad you want to come.  Erm - I didn’t ask before because I wasn’t sure if you were - well, interested.”

“Of course I am.    I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Jimbo.  I hope I’ll have the grand tour, seeing as I’m a longtime friend of the future husband of the King of Gotham….special privileges, and all that….”

“Oh - yeah, that’s right, Harv….you’re top of the list - of course!”

“Jesus, Jim.  The lobby is bigger than my whole apartment ten times over!”

Jim cleared his throat apologetically.  “The penthouse is even bigger,”  he said in a gruff, hushed voice.

“Rub it in, why don’t ya?” huffed Harvey.  Jim grinned sheepishly.

“Good evening, gentlemen,” the desk clerk greeted politely as they walked towards the penthouse elevator.

“Good evening Sam,” Jim returned warmly.

Harvey nodded and touched the brim of his hat.  “Evening,” he said.  Then he thought again and removed his hat completely.

They stepped into the private elevator - which Harvey again semi-joked was still much bigger than his own apartment.  The doors closed with a whisper and a soft clang and Jim tapped in the access code on the numbered pad on the wall.

The elevator began to climb, carrying them both swiftly towards their destination with a high-pitched whirring sound.  

Jim clasped his hands in front of him tightly.   He was looking forward to showing Harvey round but he was apprehensive about the way he might react.  He knew what he could be like and he knew also that he was still trying to come to terms with his relationship with - and betrothal to - the Penguin.

He was trying though, bless him….

Harvey stood with folded arms and shuffled awkwardly, whistling occasionally to himself, as he waited for the ride to end.  The journey took half a minute max as the elevator was fast and powerful, but it felt like a lot longer than that.  They stood in silence the whole way.

This entire experience felt more than a little surreal.  Harvey never thought that Jim would end up in a place like this - and especially not with someone like Cobblepot!  But he didn’t say a word, of course - he didn’t want to hurt Jim’s feelings any more than he had done already.

The elevator doors finally hissed open.  They stepped out into the entrance hall - with further smart jokes from Harvey about its dimensions - and then went through into the living-room.

Harvey’s breath was suitably taken away by what met his eyes.  For a few moments he was speechless, for a change.

“My God, Jim - you could keep a plane in this place!” he exclaimed, once he’d processed all that was in front of him.  He stepped forward slowly, looking around him with wonder and amazement.

“Don’t think we didn’t consider that,” joked Jim, patting him on the shoulder affectionately.

Jim had said that they should have had a helipad on the roof - in case of emergencies, or the need for a quick getaway - but Oswald had had a swimming pool installed instead.

“Jim, Jim - you worry too much!  We already have a panic room!”  Ozzy had protested impatiently.  “And don’t you like the idea of having a swim?  With me?  I bought myself some new shorts -  they are very , erm,  short,  if you get my meaning, Jim!  And who knows, we might even dispense with our clothes altogether and have a skinny dip!”  He had fluttered his long black lashes suggestively.

Jim had felt himself weaken.  A lot.  He’d swallowed hard and cleared his throat.

“Sounds great, sweetheart.  I was just trying to be cautious, that’s all…”

“I know, I know - and I appreciate that, dear - but surely we can also have a little fun?”  Oswald  had peered up at Jim and smiled sweetly, dimpling cherubically.

“OK, made your point…yeah, of course we can.  So, Mr Cobblepot - about those little  shorts you were just describing to me.  Do I get to see them on you now?”

Harvey marvelled at the sheer opulence of the surroundings.

“Geez, Jim.  You really are living how the other half lives in here!  I can’t think how long I’d have to work to afford something like this.  Like, forever, I think!”

“If you’re hinting that I’m a kept man Harv, then the answer’s no.  I pay my way.”  Jim’s tone was defensive again.

“Hey,  Jimbo. You know I didn’t mean it like that.  I’m just being playful - you know me, buddy!”   Harvey cocked his head and smiled sheepishly.

“Yeah, yeah, of course I do.  Sorry to get so touchy.”

“Don’t apologise Jim.  I was being a bit on the cheeky side, right?  Anyway - I love what you’ve - erm - both - done with the place.”  

The light, cavernous open-plan space afforded to the couple by having the entire floor - as well as an upper level and a roof terrace and balcony all round - was counterbalanced by Oswald’s fancier tastes in ornate, dark antique style furniture and heavy soft furnishings.  Most of the living area was given over to the Regency-style tables and throne-style chairs and dark mahogany wood trim that was Oswald’s motif.  Rich, heavy purple velvet, gold-satin-lined hangings graced the huge floor to ceiling windows.  They had been put there to shield the inhabitants from bright sunlight - but now the sun was low, they were tied back -  to reveal an amazing view of the skyline. 

Fur throws adorned the purple leather sofas and the chaise-longue, and there was an abundance of animal skin rugs strewn around on the polished walnut floor. So Penguin had put his subtle stamp there too.  Fur was definitely his kind of thing - wood flooring and leather, not so much.  That had Jim written all over it. 

“I’m a bit, well, laid-back - as you know -  and he’s just so fastidious and neat and tidy,” Jim remarked to Harvey with a wistful grin.  “But we rub along together just fine.” 

“Opposites attract, right?” said Harvey.  

“I know what you’re thinking, Harv -  but the two different styles kinda work together, don’t they?   And anyway, I’d be happy to go along with his opinion if he disagreed.  He has more idea about interior decoration and fixtures than I do.   He has such a good eye for detail, don’t ya think?  But  I was allowed to supervise when it was all delivered and fitted.”  Jim chuckled, an uncharacteristic blush of pink appearing on his face.   “Oswald was - erm, very impressed by the way I kept all the removals guys in line…”  He paused, coughed, and looked away for a second. 

“Um - anyway,  I can put up with a few antique sofas and chairs if he comes with them.  They’re only things at the end of the day.  I could happily live anywhere and with anything as long as...well, as long as we live in it together.”  Jim swallowed hard and glanced away again.

Harvey heard the whisper of longing in Jim’s tone, and watched the expression on his face.  A lump came to his throat.

He reflected that here, in his latter day castle, Cobblepot could look out on, and down at, ‘his kingdom’ with the man he loved - and the man who loved him - by his side.  He must be the happiest man in Gotham - perhaps, even, in the world.  If not, he should be.

Harvey tried not to feel too jealous of Jim’s new lifestyle.  After all, Jim had to sleep with Penguin in order to get all this.  He would rather sleep on the street than have to do that!

But Jim didn’t have to.  He had chosen to.  And he seemed more than happy to go on doing it - much more than happy!  

Harvey was still trying to come to terms with this concept.

He really wanted  to understand why Jim had fallen for Penguin - and learn to comprehend what he saw in him.

“Hey, Harv - come and see my den!”  Jim announced brightly.  “You’re gonna love it!”

The part of the upper floor that housed Jim’s ‘den’ was accessed by a spiral staircase at its corner - literally, a modern but retro twist.  “Come on Harv - keep up!”  Jim teased, as Harvey, panting a little, had to rest halfway up.

Harvey felt more than a little foolish after Jim told him that although Oswald found the stairs a little bit of a challenge, he could manage the climb.

But he further explained that his fiance had promised not to intrude if Jim wanted to be left alone with his thoughts.

“We agreed that time apart can also be good for a relationship!”  Jim explained,  “That’s why I have my own den and office space up here.  It’s all my own stuff.  You can see how it gets!”  He gestured towards the heaps of paper, overturned files and randomly-scattered newspapers.  “Oz would hate it in here - as I said, he’s so particular about things being in order!”

Harvey laughed appreciatively.

“Although, ” Jim continued, “To be honest - I don’t really spend that all that much time up here at the moment.   I only come here when Oswald’s not around.  We don’t seem to have got to the stage of needing space from each other.  We’re still...well, y’know, pretty much living in each other’s pockets, outside of work.” 

Harvey resisted the urge to make a badly-timed pun about Jim being very much in Oswald’s pocket.  This penthouse would have cost an absolute fortune.  And he couldn’t see Jim being able to pay much towards the price, even though he’d said that he did ‘pay his way.’

He also hadn’t been able to stop himself from making a quip about the size of the place and the number of bedrooms (three) and the number of bathrooms (four).

“My God, Jim.  Your apartment used to be a bedroom!  Don’t you get erm,  lost living here?  Rattle around a bit? Agoraphobic, maybe?  Do you need a map?”

Jim had just laughed.

But Harvey had to conclude that Jim was in a very good place just at the moment - in every sense.

“Well, James - I have to say, you landed on your feet here!  I’m impressed!”  Harvey gave a nod of begrudging admiration.

“You haven’t seen the best yet Harv - come out onto the terrace.  There’s a great view from the balcony!”

“Sure!  Go on, make me feel even more envious!”


So out they went.

“Yeah.  You’re right, Jim.  Great view.”

“It’s beautiful, huh?  We often come out here to look out at the city together.”  Jim suddenly sounded quiet and reflective.  He was staring way out into the distance.

Harvey turned and studied the look on Jim’s face. It was very telling.

“You really do love him, don’t you Jim?”

Jim turned to Harvey and sighed.   “Yep,”  he rasped.  “Of course I do!”

“Jim, I hope you don’t mind me asking - but - why?  What made you fall for Penguin?”  Harvey resisted the urge to add, “of all people”.

“I can’t quite explain it.  I think I always did love him. I just had this....feeling about him.  There was....well....something about his eyes.  But I didn’t want to admit it to myself.”

“So you accept him for who - and what -  he is?” 

“I do.   And I’ll tell you another thing, Harv - he accepts and loves me for who and what I really am - good and bad, light and dark.  He always has.  And NO-ONE else has ever felt that way about me.”

“Well, Jimbo, I think you just went and answered my question.”

They went back indoors.  Harvey glanced at his watch.

“Harv - I am sorry - I never offered you a drink!  You must think I’m a bad host!” Jim rolled his eyes and face-palmed himself.

“No problemo, Jim.  You were busy showing me round and....telling me important stuff.   I’ll take a rain check on the drink.   Tell you what, though, Jim - I wouldn’t mind using your guest bathroom before I go.  It’s a bit of a way across town to mine.”

“Sure!  I’ll just show you the way.  Argh, I never showed you the guest quarters or the bedrooms either did I?   Maybe next time.  Oh, by the way, the real estate agent called the guest cloakroom a ‘powder room’ when he showed us around!”  Jim shrugged as if to say, “Go figure!”

“Ha!  Very fancy!”  Harvey pulled an amused face and Jim reciprocated.  “ But please, don’t bother escorting me, Jim - just give me directions.  I’ll find my way!  I am a detective - right?””

“Hmmm, OK then.  Tell you what Harv - just text me if you get lost!  I’ll come and find you!”

“Ha ha, Detective Gordon!”

“You think I’m joking?!”

The ‘powder room’ was located just off the foyer inside the entrance hall.

For all his boasting that he didn’t need hand holding, Harvey managed to take a wrong turn and ended up on the wrong side of the penthouse.

Instead of turning right towards the foyer, he turned left, went past the dining room and ended up going through into the master bedroom.

The sight of the huge room with its colossal super king sized antique tester bed told him that he wasn’t, in fact, in the ‘powder room’.

He knew he should get straight out of there.  He was intruding - these were their private quarters.  But he couldn’t help having a morbid fascination now he was there.

His eyes took in the rich satin purple bedcover.  Oswald’s signature shade.  There were cream satin sheets underneath and there was a cream embroidered runner at the foot.   The pillow covers were ivory silk with purple edging. 

The carved wood walk-in closets were made from antique mahogany.  Again, Oswald’s touch.

There were prints of modern cityscapes of Gotham on the wall, and an oil painting of the Van Dahl mansion.  But he noticed one hanging that seemed very out of place.  He walked over to it and peered closer.

It was a small framed print of two rainbow coloured penguins.  There was a slogan around them which said:  ‘Every love story is beautiful but ours is my favourite’.

He couldn’t imagine either of them choosing that - but one, or both of them must have!  And they both thought it important enough to display near to their bed.

Then he spied the photo on the right hand bedside table.  He couldn’t help being compelled to go over and check it out.

He went over to it and picked it up.

It was a ‘selfie’ of the couple taken at the beach.  Harvey didn’t recognise Oswald immediately because he was wearing a long sleeved t shirt, Ray Bans, and, of all things, a baseball cap.  Hardly his usual style.

He could tell that Jim had his free arm - the one not taking the photo - around Oswald’s shoulder.

They were both smiling, and looked relaxed, happy - and very in love.

Harvey replaced the photo carefully and stepped away.  Now he really did feel like an invader.

He hurried out, closing the door carefully behind him - not before noticing the ‘his ‘n’ his’ robes hanging on the coat hooks on the back of the door.  One was made of cotton and the other of heavy embroidered silk.





“Jim - Jim, dear!  I’m home!”  Oswald limped eagerly into the living room.

“I hope you’re ready for this - I’m back early and I’m feeling frisky!”





Harvey found his way back to the hall and went to go into the living room.  Then he stopped dead as he saw Cobblepot’s coat hanging on the coat rack and his cane

stood in the umbrella stand.


He couldn’t face them, somehow.

He turned back and walked away towards the elevator, texting a polite excuse to Jim as he went.

Chapter Text

Skin Deep.

Jim remembered the first time he’d seen his little Ozzy naked. He’d discovered for the first time just how beautiful he was.

It’d also been evident  that his sexy psycho had been circumcised.  So in that sense, they definitely differed from one another.

And now - having  treated  Oswald to a very decent blow job - he had been reminded of this distinction.  He couldn’t help it after being so up close and personal with his man’s impressive phallos.   And he had been thinking about an idea for a special wedding gift that he needed to share with his intended.  He decided to broach the subject at last.

“Erm - Oswald, sweetheart….” he began tentatively.

“Yes, Jim dear?”  Oswald replied serenely.  He turned over onto his side and stroked Jim’s arm rhythmically  .

“Erm - does it bother you that I haven’t been circumcised?”

“Jim!  What a question!  And, erm, no, not at all!  The thought never crossed my mind!!”

“Ah – OK.”

“Do you mind that I am?”

“No!  No, the very opposite in fact.”

“What, it turns you on that I’m - ahem - not as nature made me?”  Oswald raised his eyebrow provocatively.

“Well, erm…..”  There was no easy way to answer that!  

“It’s ok, Jim.  I’m only teasing.  And I can tell that you like what I have to offer!”  Oswald grinned demonically.  “But what brought on this question, James - if  you don’t mind my asking?”

“Well -  I was thinking….. maybe I should get it done….”

“What?!  No way, Jim.  I happen to like your, erm, appendage the way it is - intact!”  he put his hand on the said appendage and squeezed it momentarily.    Jim  gave a little grunt of surprise and then sighed. 

“Anyway, what do you mean by ‘Getting it done?’” resumed Oswald with a touch of indignation.  “Did you think I actually asked for this to be done to me?”

“Erm…well, I thought you might have?  I mean, I know it’s cleaner, more hygienic, and all, and I know you like to be immaculate……and that’s why I was going to…..”

“No, silly!  I didn’t!  And, by the way, Jim dear - you are VERY clean, you have no worries there - your hygiene is just pristine, and you don’t need to go through circumcision just for me!  Bless you for considering it though - it was a very kind thought!”  He smiled and touched Jim lightly under the chin.  “And, by the way,” he continued , his face puckering, “I’ve heard that afterwards - well, the place in question can be pretty sore, and the healing  process can take WEEKS.  It would be a month or more before we could make love after the operation.  I wouldn’t want you to deprive me of your glorious services for that long, now would I?  I really wouldn’t want that at all!   Anyway, dear - just to clarify.  I went through this ‘little process’ a long time ago -  when I was a baby.  Sorry I never mentioned it, Jim.  I’m Jewish!”

Chapter Text

Penguin Returns




Jim mimicked the look - and sound -  of quiet amazement that he’d had all that time ago, when Oswald had materialised - like a living apparition - outside his apartment.


It was the expression and tone that had tacitly added, “Thank God - you’re not dead!”  


Jim was, indeed, very pleased to see his cute little criminal.   His heart always gave a leap when he heard his little villain’s velvet voice and then saw him hobbling toward him purposefully with his bright eyes and beaming face.  Or even when his tone was tetchy and his face was crumpled with annoyance after a particularly bad day. He was just glad to know that he was still breathing….


But tonight, his joy was tinged with a sense of mild panic.   Harvey was out there, wandering around in their penthouse, and here was his cheerful, unsuspecting fiance, possibly about to get the surprise of his life!  He hoped that the momentary feeling of fear hadn’t shown in his face.


He couldn’t imagine that Oswald would exactly be overjoyed to have Harvey effectively ‘gatecrash’  - and Jim had brought Harvey into their lovely home ‘behind his back’, even though that hadn’t really been the intention.


This could really put a damper on the evening!


He wondered who would be the most shocked if Harvey walked in on the lovebirds during a passionate, “I’m-so-glad-to-see-you-I-could-eat-you” kind of clinch...which wasn’t an uncommon occurrence.


“James!”  cried Oswald, in a tone that said,  “Prepare to be ravished!” His mouth stretched  wide and his eyes flashed with animation as he limped quickly towards Jim.   


Jim instinctively hurried forward to meet him.  As they met in the middle of the floor he took a firm hold of his little kingpin and hoisted him up off his feet.  Oswald gasped with delighted surprise and grabbed onto Jim’s shoulders, giggling wildly, before Jim replaced him on terra firma.





they went, exchanging eager, ‘I’m-so-glad-to-see-you-I-could-eat-you” kisses.


Oswald landed his head on Jim’s shoulder.  He slipped his arms around his man’s slim waist, squeezing joyfully.  Jim reciprocated.


”What a welcome!” thought Oswald.  “That’s a relief!”


“Oh, Jim - it’s good to be home!”  he voiced, sighing contentedly. He turned his face and planted a light, moist little kiss on Jim’s neck.


Jim had started to forget all about Harvey the moment he had seen Oswald’s beautiful smile. Then all thoughts of his friend had been completely obliterated by the sound of Oswald’s throaty, silvery laugh and the touch of his soft, wet little mouth on that particular place on his neck.


His future husband sure knew where his sweet spots were!   


“Mmph,” he grunted contentedly, arching his neck a little.  “It’s good to have you home.”


He held his little gangster close.


Oswald remembered how lonely, empty and restless he had used to feel on arriving home after a long and trying day.  He would be met with the stony silence of his own four walls and the comfort of his hard fireside chair. And his only friends were a bottle and a glass.


Then the walls between him and his beautiful Jim had tumbled down, and he’d never known a night’s sadness since.  He tried not to think that this was all too good to be true.


“Oh, honey,”  he breathed. “This feels nice.”   


He wallowed in the smell of Jim’s woody, spicy scent and the fleeting feel of his warm bare skin against his mouth.


He noticed that Jim squeezed a little tighter at the mention of the word ‘honey’, and he’d felt the subtle movement of his neck when he’d kissed that little spot at the base of it.   


The trouble he had taken to get to know how his fiance loved to be addressed and where - and how - he most liked to be kissed had proven to be very worthwhile.


He pressed his mouth gently against Jim’s shoulder, smelling his scent keenly again, and snuggled in closer.  


He was really starting to relax.  This tender hug had distracted him from his original, more carnal mission - to take his man by the hand and march him straight off to bed.  He had been feeling fired up and more than ready for a romp in the sheets when he’d first arrived home, but he felt calm and serene now - and he didn’t want to spoil the mood.  He was enjoying it far too much.


He had managed to wrap everything up at work much sooner than he had expected - with Gabe’s generous help, although his offer was more about brawn than brains.  


“Why don’t you get off home early, boss - we can  finish off here,” Gabe had prompted meaningfully.

“Now Gabe - are you sure you can handle this?”

“Course, boss.  No problem. Anyway, I think maybe you have - erm -  more - important things to do with your time, don’t ya think?”  Gabe had cleared his throat and looked away for a moment.


He’d had to admit that Gabe was right.  He also thought it was funny - and quite cute - that his big brute of a henchman could be so sensitive to his needs and be so bashful in the process.  That big lumbering lummox never ceased to surprise him just lately!


But anyhow, feeling thankful, and choosing not to think too hard about his decision, he had hurried home - not wanting to waste another second away from Jim.   


Then when he had first got across the threshold and had seen the brief spooked look on his beloved man’s handsome face, his heart had lurched in his breast.   The thought that his soulmate might feel anything less than pleased to see him had frightened him more than any enemy he had ever had to face.


He had forced himself to smile, to ignore what he thought he had just seen.  He couldn’t face asking Jim what was wrong, in case the answer he got was not what he wanted to hear.


He should have known that he had been mistaken - he’d been blowing things out of all proportion, as he often did.  His paranoia could be ridiculous at times! He should have realised that Jim wouldn’t do or say anything to upset him.   This was the man he was going to marry, after all!


He felt warm, comfortable and secure in Jim’s arms,  so he continued to hold on tight. He didn’t feel ready to leave just yet.


He had waited so long for this!  He had been on this planet more than thirty years before he’d found someone to love - truly love, in every sense of the word - and to have that love returned to him.  


He’d fancied himself in love with Ed.     But it had turned out to be a one-sided attraction - an infatuation.  It had ended painfully for all concerned.


True love was made for two, and it meant sacrifice.   Things had gone tragically wrong with Ed - he had misread all the signs, taking Ed’s words to mean something they didn’t.  


His shy, gauche attempt at telling Ed how he felt had fallen on stony ground.  Ed hadn’t even guessed what he was trying to say - this from the man who was clever enough to solve the most complex riddles!   He hadn’t picked up on the signals. Then the timing, the circumstances, everything about it had just been wrong. It was never meant to be.


And Isabella, the ‘X factor’, had stepped in to finish all his hopes and seal his fate.


Then Taran had come along….his faithful, loving Miss Tula - for whom he had developed such a strong platonic affection.  His wound was still raw over her. It hurt him so much even to consider thinking about her. He didn’t even know if she was still alive….let alone why she had chosen to leave him when they had reached such a deep level of trust and understanding.


But now - now there was Jim.  Yes - last but definitely NOT least - his one and only Jim!


They’d had such a long, chequered history.  His favourite police detective had spared his life, for which he was eternally grateful - but had then treated him for the most part with indifference, distance and disdain.  He had confused the signs again, but in a very different way….


Because Jim had acted that way out of fear -  he had been too afraid to admit his real feelings, even to himself.  Thank God, thought Oswald, for that crazy day in the alley - that amazing, life-changing moment when Jim had kissed him, first out of frustration….then with some  guile….and finally, with lots of genuine passion….


They had come a long way since then, but he would never forget that moment and blessed Jim’s impulsive, impetuous action with all his heart.


Oswald had been fully prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice for Jim.  He would gladly give his life for him - without any prompting. He had proved that, of course, and Jim had rewarded him by confirming beyond  a single doubt that he loved him with that incredible proposal - and by finally coming out and admitting to the world that he and Oswald were lovers, and were going to stay that way forever.  He had nailed his colours to the mast and had stood by them.


“Mmph,” Jim grunted contentedly.  He clearly shared Oswald’s reluctance to leave this cosy little clinch.  His hand moved to Oswald’s head and he began thumbing the soft spikes on his little kingpin’s crown - a movement which always soothed them both.  Jim had a thing for stroking Oswald’s hair, and Oswald really had a thing for it being stroked!


Oswald’s body slumped loosely inside Jim’s arms.  He murmured something incomprehensible.


Encouraged by his lover’s response, Jim began pressing his lips softly against his head.  

And then suddenly he paused and took a deep breath.


“Whoa - wait a second -  what’s this? Is it….roses….?”  Jim buried his nose deeper in Oswald’s hair and breathed in hard.  He exhaled slowly. “Mmmm, yeah - there’s definitely” (he sniffed deeply again) “roses in there!  That smells really good! I mean - y’know, even better than usual....”


Oswald lifted his head and smirked at Jim like a triumphant Cheshire Cat.   “You noticed - Mr Police Detective!” he purred huskily, his eyes shining like big blue beacons.    “I have changed my brand of hair gel. This one holds my style in place but makes my follicles feel much softer - so the advert said, anyway, and now, you have found that out - right?”  He winked. “And yes, it does contain otto of roses - it’s made from natural, organic ingredients. Go on, have another sniff!” he beckoned, dipping his head to enable Jim to inhale and further admire the scent.


Oswald was thrilled that Jim had both noticed and approved of this change to his daily grooming regime.   The gel was imported and it had been much more expensive than his old one, but he was glad to know that it was money well spent in more ways than one.  He was so glad that Jim liked the fragrance.


“Mmmmm - it smells good enough to eat!”  Jim chewed thoughtfully on a few strands to test his theory.  “Oh, yeah, Oz, this stuff actually TASTES good as well!”


“Honey, are you actually EATING my hair?!” Oswald exclaimed incredulously.  He could only imagine what was going on up there.


“Yep.  Your hair tastes like Turkish Delight, Ozzy.”   Jim was still munching, his voice muffled through a mouthful of hair.   Oswald was highly amused that his man was, evidently, ruminating on his raven locks.


“You are as mad as a hatter, James Gordon!” he laughed.


Jim released Oswald’s hair from his mouth and grasped his chin, tipping it gently upwards.   Oswald stopped laughing and gulped hard when he saw the way Jim’s deep blue eyes were searching his.


“Yep -  I am mad, Oswald Cobblepot,” Jim rasped, “Mad about you, that is.”


Oswald’s mouth fell open.  He felt himself blush.


“Wow!”  grinned Jim.  “Look at you, now - you cute little kingpin!   You’ve gone all pink in the face, y’know. You look so damn adorable when you’re bashful!   Pucker up, Cobblepot!” He took his lover’s warm cheeks in his hands and they locked lips passionately.


Oswald closed his eyes, savouring the sweet sensation of Jim’s mouth kissing his.   When Jim finally let him go, he felt almost giddy with the aftershock.


They gazed at one another longingly, their misted eyes full of residual desire.


Jim cleared his throat. “Now - I guess I’d better tidy you up, having made such a mess of you…” he remarked casually.


Oswald smiled coyly.  “Yes - I suppose you’d better.”   His face still felt warm and he was feeling astonished and weak-kneed after the kiss he and Jim had just shared.   Jim could do with him as he pleased!


He dutifully bowed his head and then waited patiently as Jim teased the dark tufts of hair back into place as carefully as he could.    


“There, that’s the best I can do,” Jim announced apologetically.  “But I think it’ll pass. Do you want to check it out in the mirror?”


Oswald lifted his head and smiled.  “No, Jim, no need. I’m sure your ‘Penguin preening’ worked just fine.”


“Ha ha, yeah - ‘Penguin preening’ - that’s a good one!  Well, I know how you like to look immaculate - you and your high standards!”  He rolled his eyes with mock exasperation.


“I’m home now, Jim.  I think I can relax my standards - just a little.”  


“Hmph,” grunted Jim, raising his eyebrow quizzically.


“No, Jim, I’m not being facetious.  I really mean it.” Oswald loosened the knot in his tie and unfastened the top button on the stiff wing collar of his shirt.  “There - you see? I always relax my rules when I’m with you!”


“Yeah, yeah,” Jim chuckled,  “I appreciate that, Oz. But - well, please, just humour me a moment, OK?”


He stood back, pretending to study Oswald’s inky black jagged fringe. Oswald wrinkled his brow.  “What now?” he wondered.


Then Jim took the stray strands in his fingers and smoothed them away from his man’s pale brow.  He took Oswald’s waxing moon face in his hands.


He thoughtfully stroked his lover’s dimpled cheeks with his thumbs and then playfully pecked the prominent bridge of his nose - taking note of the abundant freckles clustered on it like a sandy constellation.  


Those freckles were so goddamn fetching!  He loved to get really close to them and count them when Oswald had fallen asleep and he was having trouble getting off to sleep himself.  It was so much more fun than counting sheep!


He just had to give them another little kiss.  He couldn’t help himself.


Oswald squirmed and wriggled in Jim’s arms. “Ooh!” he cried.   “Jim, please! Have mercy!” He screwed up his face and moved his hands up to Jim’s chest, pushing helplessly.   


“OK, OK!”  Jim had known Oswald was ticklish there and couldn’t stop himself from taking advantage of it.  However, he dutifully stopped this sweet torture, grasping Oswald’s hands and securing them inside his.


He took another good look into Oswald’s eyes.


He saw stunning sky-blue irises that contrasted dramatically with dark, dilating pupils and flashes of flickering raven eyelash.  


Jim was utterly bewitched by their natural breathtaking beauty.


Oswald was overwhelmed by the way Jim was staring at him.  In the bad old days, when they’d been fighting constantly, he’d hoped against hope that there was some measure of love for him in Jim’s heart.  He had occasionally thought he had caught glimmers of it in his eyes or hints in the tone of his voice, but had then chosen to convince himself that he must have been imagining it.  He’d had to, really - in the name of ‘self-preservation’.


But that look Jim was giving him now - that look of love, and intense adoration -  it was priceless, and had been well worth waiting for.


“I’m so glad we’re alone, Jim,” he said wistfully, relaxing his hands inside Jim’s.  “It’s so good to have you all to myself.”


Oswald had unintentionally reminded Jim about their wandering guest - who could, of course, walk in on them at any moment.  


Damn, thought Jim.   Harvey had been gone a little while now, so was bound to be back any time soon….


He was now very anxious to figure out how to break this to Oswald.


He let go of Oswald’s hands and his blissful smile was replaced with his habitual worried frown.


“Erm, Ozzy - sweetheart,” he began awkwardly,   “There’s something I need to tell you.”


Oswald didn’t like the tone of Jim’s voice or the expression on his face.  Neither boded well.


“Is there?” he replied nonchalantly.  He bit his finger and swallowed down the lump in his throat.  “What is it, Jim?”




Oswald knew Jim had always tried to reign in his emotions, but he had been touched when Jim had started to be more open with him about his feelings. The level of trust that revealed was incredible, and Oswald couldn’t be more happy about it.    But now, naturally, he was concerned because he had no clue what was wrong - this change of mood was so sudden and he couldn’t see any reason for it at all! They had just been in such a good place - literally and metaphorically.


Jim bared his teeth and stretched his eyebrows awkwardly.


“Listen, Oswald - erm...the thing is....” He hesitated, clearly struggling for words.  He fidgeted uncomfortably.


“Go on,”  Oswald encouraged, touching Jim lightly on the arm.  He hoped he didn’t sound too desperate.


Just at that moment, Jim felt the cellphone in his pocket rumble.   


“Erm, sorry Oz - I’d better get this….”  He fished the phone out of his pocket and flipped open the cover.


“Oh Jim, for God’s sake,” Oswald sighed impatiently, starting to lose his cool.  “Don’t keep me in suspense!”


“Sorry, sweetheart,” replied Jim placatingly.  “I just need to check this, OK?”


“It’d better not be the GCPD, Jim.  I finished work especially early to be with you ….”   Oswald crossed his arms and his bottom lip started to protrude.


Jim snapped the cover back onto his phone and put it away with a sigh of relief.


“It’s ok, Oswald, it wasn’t work,” he said, his face relaxing again. “It was nothing important.  Just….well, a junk message.”


Oswald unfolded his arms and retracted his lip.    “Those really are a nuisance, aren’t they?” he said, shaking his head sympathetically.


“Yeah, they’re a real pain!”


Harvey had messaged to say he was on his way out.  “Sorry buddy - something came up. I’m going straight home. Thanks for showing me around!”  


It occurred to Jim that Harvey might have seen Oswald’s coat and cane in the hall and made the decision to turn tail and run.   At any rate, he was grateful to him for curtailing his visit and avoiding any awkwardness. He felt guilty about thinking that way, but he was enjoying the romantic mood and didn’t want it spoiled.


This was such a weight off his mind! Now he could really begin the evening in earnest.


“Anyway, Oz - never mind the phone.  He put his hands onto Oswald’s shoulders.

“Now - where were we?” he grinned.  

Oswald’s eyes brightened.   His mouth stretched wide. He rewarded Jim with the most dazzling smile ever.


Jim just had to smile back.  That look couldn’t fail to make him feel good.


“You have a gorgeous smile, y’know,”  he said - he was so overcome with feelings of love that he just had to heave his heart into his mouth.


Oswald’s mouth stretched so far it almost seemed to be reaching his ears.


“James.  Dear James!”  He put his hands to Jim’s head and smooched him passionately.


“You - Detective Gordon - you are so handsome!  But you look even better when you smile - so - well,  boyishly beautiful. You are always such a serious person, all quiet and secretive - that sometimes unnerves me a little, y’know.  That time before - well, before I knew you loved me, I so wanted to tickle you, pull funny faces - do anything, just to cheer you up - my dour, darling James - but I couldn’t, because I was too afraid to reveal my heart.  All I could do was scowl and yell at you, because I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t know any better. But at least it got your attention, I suppose.” He shrugged and laughed harshly.


It took all Jim’s self-control not to throw himself down on the floor and kiss Oswald’s feet.


“Ozzy - sweetheart.   You wanted to cheer me up?  You didn’t know any better?!  What about me? I hurt you so many times, it kills me to think of it!  My God, Oswald I….I love you - so frickin’ much! I am one lucky sonofabitch.”  He took Oswald back in his arms and nearly hugged the life out of him. “You are too damn good for me - I swear you are!” he muttered fiercely.


“Jim….please….don’t say that!  I love you, too….very much,” Oswald pleaded, hanging onto Jim for dear life.  His hands clutched at him desperately, then held him with a firm, determined grip.  He looked up at Jim. “Don’t say I’m too good for you ever again!” he scolded, his eyes becoming huge and tearful with indignation.  “Do you hear me, James?!”


“OK, OK sweetheart.  Don’t get upset! I won’t say it again if you don’t want me to.”    He kissed Oswald’s forehead. “But I won’t agree to give up telling you I love you once in a while.  It took me too long to learn how to say it and I won’t waste it now.”


“Oh, Jim - of course, you can say that as much as you like!” Oswald’s tears escaped from his eyes and trickled down his cheeks.


“Hey, Ozzy…..”  Jim wiped Oswald’s wet cheeks gently with his thumbs.  “Here goes, then…..wait for it….I..” He kissed Oswald’s face, tasting his salt tears as they wetted his lips….”love you….”  He tasted the sweet brine again.


“That was just perfect, Jim.  Now it’s my turn. I….” He kissed Jim’s salted lips, tasting his own  tears “ you too…..” He tasted them again.


“Well, I think that pretty much says it all!”  Jim smiled. He ran his finger along Oswald’s jaw lightly.


“Indeed, it does.   Now - please, honey,” Oswald resumed softly, staring at Jim enticingly.  “If you don’t mind - I think perhaps that we ought to go to bed now.”

Oswald turned his head and studied Jim curiously.  “By the way, Jim, dear,” he said casually. “What were you going to say to me before that text rudely interrupted you?”  He raised his eyebrow quizzically.


Jim gulped hard.  They’d made love since then, and of course, the awkward conversation he had started with Oswald and then not finished had completely escaped his memory.  On the other hand, his little gangster had not forgotten about it. He had a razor sharp memory and great total recall!


He had to think fast.


“Oh - erm, I was going to say something, wasn’t I?  Hmmm - you know what, Oz - I can’t remember what it was!”   He reached out and stroked Oswald’s bare arm distractedly.


“Really?  You’ve forgotten already?”  Oswald wrinkled his brow. “But if I remember rightly - you seemed to think it was important, Jim.”


“Well, it can’t have been that urgent.  Ah - I know what it was….”


“Do tell Jim - I’m all ears!”


“Yeah, ok - wait, just a minute - no you’re not!  All ears, that is. You have cute little ears!”


“Oh - thank you Jim!”  Oswald giggled and grinned impishly.  “So - what was it that was so important?”


“Oh - I just thought you might be hungry.  I was just going to say should we have dinner.”


“Oh - that was all?”


“Well you know how you can get when you’re hungry, Oz.”


“Hmmm, true!  Well, that ‘kiss and cuddle’ we just had has rather given me an appetite.  I suppose we had better go and get something! You must be hungry too, James - after all, you were a busy boy, weren’t you!”  He fluttered his lashes provocatively.


“Ha ha, well, you did your share!  Anyway, to tell you the truth Oz - I could eat a horse right now!”


Oswald moved up onto his side.  “Hmmmm,” He winked. “You could eat a horse?  That’s not what we’re actually having to eat, is it?”  He grinned fiendishly.


“Ha ha!”  Jim rolled his eyes.


“So what are we having then?”  Oswald stared thoughtfully into Jim’s eyes, stroking the fine downy fair hairs on his chest with rhythmic precision.    Jim twitched slightly at his touch and caught Oswald’s hand, playing with his fingers lightly.


“Olga left us some paprika chicken in the slow cooker.  She thought as you were going to be late we could serve ourselves....”


“Mmmm, paprika chicken - that’s one of my favourites!”  Oswald beamed broadly. Then he frowned.


“Hmmm, I hope she didn’t overdo the paprika - some chefs do that y’know….but anyway Jim, it sounds delish - and convenient, I can’t wait to try it, can you Jim? I mean, I’m really hungry, aren’t you?  But anyway, I do love paprika chicken, my mother used to do it so well, and….” Oswald paused, running out of breath, then went to carry on - but then stopped as he saw the meaningful look of amusement on Jim’s face.  He grinned sheepishly and shrugged. “Oops! I was babbling on a tad there wasn’t I?”


“I think a certain someone has low blood sugar!” Jim observed wryly, touching Oswald under the chin affectionately.  “Come on then, mister - let’s go and eat before you collapse into a coma!”


“Of course, Detective Gordon - we can’t have that!  Then you’d have to carry me, and that just wouldn’t do….”

They ate at the small breakfast table by the window - they avoided the long table in the dining room.  It still stood unused. It was far too large for the two of them. Oswald had wanted to ‘save it for entertaining,’  but they hadn’t got around to doing that yet.


They began eating.  Oswald ate elegantly and politely, restraining himself, despite his hunger.  Jim wondered what his fastidious fiance thought of the way he was wolfing down his own food.   He was starving! He found himself making an effort to slow down.


Oswald couldn’t miss the way Jim was shovelling the food into his mouth.  The way he was stabbing at those pieces of chicken with his fork was quite brutal - almost feral!  Then he noticed as Jim made a conscious effort to eat more politely. That made him want to smile!


When they had nearly finished their meal, Jim remembered a very important subject that he had meant to broach for some time, and that he hoped he could now bring up.

He put down his cutlery and placed down his hands on either side of his plate.


“Ozzy - there’s something I keep meaning to mention.…” he began tentatively.


“Is there?  Well, go on - spit it out, Jim - erm, not literally, of course….”  Oswald winked saucily, but then put down his own knife and fork to give Jim his full attention.


“Well, I keep thinking…..about….the wedding….”


“Oh, Jim!  Ah, yes - of course - our wedding!”  Oswald stretched his eyes and face-palmed himself.  “I haven’t updated you, have I?”


Jim swallowed down his last morsel of chicken.   “Erm, no, but I understand….you’ve been busy, haven’t you?”


“Well, yes, I have - but that’s no excuse not to clue you in, Jim, you have every right to ask.  Every right!”


“I don’t want to seem impatient, I just want to know…”


“Of course, dear.   Of course you do. Well, what in particular do you want to know?”  


“Well - first of all -  erm, do we have a date?”


“Yes, yes, of course we do.  Haven’t I even shared that with you?  That is SO remiss of me!” Oswald slapped the table and rolled his eyes with self-exasperation.


“Oz, it’s ok, really…..”


“No, it’s not, dear.  I really should have spoken with you about this.  It’s important to both of us! Anyway, honey - how does a June wedding sound to you?  I thought maybe - June 4th. That’s my birthday y’know!”


“Your birthday.  Well, Ozzy, now I realise I never even asked you when your birthday was!  Yeah, ok, that sounds good! That gives us a few months to plan. I’ll be able to book my know...for the honeymoon….and get fitted for my suit...”


“Ah, yes, the suit - I thought maybe dark blue - you would look so good in that, so handsome, it would set off your lovely fair hair - and your eyes.  Anyway, I will arrange all that, you can use my tailor. And your holiday - well, don’t worry about that, I fixed that, of course….”


“You did?  But how…...”


“Oh yes - didn’t I mention that either?  Jim, I do apologise! I’ve just had so much on my mind lately….”


“It’s ok, Oz, it’s ok….you’ve taken a lot on, I know.  I could help you…”


“Nonsense, Jim.  I have it all under control - really!  Anyway, Jim - you know neither of us is really that religious, right?  But you know now I was brought up Jewish, so - erm, how do you feel about a Jewish ceremony, dear?”


“Hum - well, I never really thought about it.  I don’t know anything about Jewish weddings. But if that’s what you really want....”


“I would love it, Jim!  And….it would have meant so much to mother, too.”  Oswald’s voice faltered and his eyes clouded.


Jim reached out and took his hand.  He squeezed it.


“Well in that case, I’m definitely on for a Jewish wedding!”


“Oh, thank you, Jim!  I’m glad I have your blessing, dear.   I’m so sorry I never discussed this with you before - I’m so used to thinking things through on my own, you see….”


“But you don’t need to anymore, Oz - don’t forget, I’m here.”  Jim squeezed Oswald’s hand again.


“I know, I know - and I’m grateful, don’t think I’m not…. But really, I can manage.  You can leave it all to me. But please - remind me if I forget to keep you in the loop, as it were.”


He smiled and put his left hand in front of him on the table, showing off the glistening gem on his finger.  “You played the most important part - asking me in the first place! I’ll never forget the way you did it. It was so lovely Jim, and so utterly romantic.  And…. I still have that invitation you gave back to me, that first gift - before you gave me this treasure, James. That means a great deal to me, too. Of course, I couldn’t possibly throw it away. ”  He wrinkled up his nose playfully.


Jim just melted.  How could he not? “Ozzy,” he smiled.  “I am so looking forward to our big day!  And afterwards - referring to you as ‘my husband.’  That’ll be sweet.”


“Yes, Jim, yes - it will, won’t it?  I can’t wait for that either. I’m so glad we had this conversation….”

Chapter Text

Ozzy and Jim Take a Bath


“Leave the dishes - Olga can see to that,”  Oswald said. They had eaten so well and they had practically cleaned their plates anyway.


“OK  - I won’t argue with that!”


They rose slowly, feeling full and heavy after their feast.  They moved over to the couch to rest a little while and let their food digest.


Oswald patted his belly with a satisfied groan.  “That was a great meal, James - but I swear, dear, that I’m starting to put on some weight.”


“No way!  You haven’t put on an ounce!  Me, on the other hand…” Jim tapped his own expanding stomach.    


Oswald grinned.  He winked and placed his hand gently on Jim’s belly.


“You’re very content.”  


Jim laughed.  “And you’re very diplomatic, Mr Cobblepot!  Shame you’re not in politics any more!”


“Ha!  Too right, Jim, too right.  Seriously though honey, you know I would love you no matter what weight you were, right?”


“Really?  And if I got grey, and went bald?”


“Of course!  But I know you won’t go bald, Jim - and you will look very distinguished when you are old and grey.  You’ll be as handsome as ever, I’m sure of it. You might even get to grow a moustache!”


“A moustache!?  No way! But anyway - thanks!”  He put his arm around Oswald’s shoulders. “That’s nice to know.”  He kissed his cheek.


“Well, I mean it.”   Oswald looked askance at Jim.    “And - erm - what about me, Jim? Would you love me even if I got fat?  And grey haired or, God forbid, even hairless?”


“Of course I would.  Damn it Oz, you’d be the same pain in the ass Cobblepot l know and love if you were fat,  grey or bald! The same pain in the ass Cobblepot that I can’t help being crazy in love with, no matter what insane things he says and does!”


“Ahhh.  Hum. Well, Jim!  Thank you for that, erm, heartfelt compliment!   You’ll be the same delicious dour detective you always were - even when you get to Commissioner!”  


“Ha!  But, seriously, sweetheart - now I know the wedding date, I really need to go on a diet!”


“Ahhh, Jim.  Well, I think we could both benefit from a bit of a detox, to be honest, dear.  We have both been rather overdoing it of late, haven’t we? But let’s not worry about that now - the diet starts tomorrow, eh?”  He winked again. “When I can possibly bear to move again, James, I shall put on some music and pour us a brandy. Not necessarily in that order!”


“It’s ok, sweetheart.  You stay where you are - I’ll do it.”


“No Jim, I offered first…”


“Never mind who offered first.  I insist!” Jim patted Oswald’s thigh pointedly and struggled to his feet.


Oswald caught Jim’s hand on the way up, making light, fleeting contact with his fingers.  “You’re an angel, Jim Gordon.”


“Don’t I know it!”  Jim laughed. He turned and blew a kiss.   Oswald grinned and reciprocated.


Jim poured them each a brandy and went and handed Oswald his glass.  “Thank you, James,” Oswald said softly. He gazed intensely at Jim, the ice in his blue eyes melting as their dark pupils grew with love and desire for his favourite police detective.


“What music would you like me to put on?”


Oswald sat and swirled the brandy around in his glass.  He paused and looked up at Jim, studying him quietly with his sharp blue eyes.


“Surprise me!” he smiled.


Jim put on some jazz.


Oswald WAS surprised.  “I didn’t know you liked jazz!”


“Neither did I!  Just thought I’d give it a go.  I think I could grow to like it!”


“Good.  I’m glad. This album is very relaxing, isn’t it?”


“Yeah, it is.  Miles Davis - Kind of Blue,  eh? The trumpet sounds muted - it’s very soothing.  Anyway, sweetheart - when our dinner’s digested, how do you fancy taking a bath?”


“What, with you?” Oswald challenged.


“Well, yeah, that’s what I thought  - but, if you’d rather not…..” Jim’s face crumpled.


Oswald grinned impishly.  “Oh, James dear, you are SO easy to tease!  I thought you’d know my sense of humour by now!  Of course I was only kidding - silly boy! Of course, with you!   Always with you - my love.”


“Cobblepot, you are just so bad sometimes - whoah, wait a minute - did you just call me ‘my love’?!”


Oswald’s smile softened.  “You noticed, my sexy police detective.  Yes - I called you ‘my love’. Do you like that?”


Jim leaned in and kissed Oswald long and slow.


“What do you think?” he whispered.

“I love this bathtub, Jim. So deep and indulgent.  And plenty of room for the both of us. I love that we can bathe and look out on the city.  It’s a beautiful view up here, isn’t it? Oh Jim, I really don’t deserve to be this happy, I really don’t….”  Oswald splashed the water gently with his hands and picked up a big ball of bubbles on his fist. He blew it off playfully.  Jim chuckled.


“Yes you do, sweetheart, yes you do.  And I love bathing with you too. Seeing you all wet and covered in bubbles is the highlight of my day!”


“Ohh, James  - my love - you are SUCH a flirt!    Do keep it up! (By the way, seeing you all wet and covered in foam is also the highlight of my day - or, ‘Ditto’, as you might say!)  Anyway - Jim, dear - I’ve just been thinking again...about….the wedding….”


“Hmmmm?  Have you?”  Oswald had said the magic word and he had Jim’s full attention.   His deep blue eyes widened and the semblance of a smile appeared on his lips.


“So, honey - what do you say to us getting married under an open sky - beneath a canopy?  The weather should be warm enough for an al fresco ceremony in June, shouldn’t it?” Oswald smiled hopefully.


“That sounds perfect, sweetheart.  Very romantic.” Jim nodded approvingly.


“Well, that’s the general  idea with weddings, isn’t it?  They should be romantic, silly!”  Oswald pulled a face and splashed foamy water all over Jim.


“Hey, what’s the big idea?”  Jim splashed Oswald back.


Oswald giggled hysterically and picked up another fistful of bubbles, dropping them onto Jim’s head.


Jim spluttered as the bubbles started to run down his face.  


“Come on, this is serious!”  he followed up with mock severity, wiping off his face and head with the back of his hand.


“Fine!” Oswald fake-sulked.  Then his tight lips loosened and he burst out into another fit of giggles.


Jim couldn’t help laughing along.  Oswald’s giggles were so infectious!


When their laughter had finally died down, Jim said,  “Right, Mr Cobblepot, can we REALLY be serious now?” Oswald nodded.  “Good. To recap - our union is scheduled for June 4th - your birthday, to be exact - al fresco, under a canopy, with a Rabbi conducting the ceremony.  Am I right?”


“Absolutely correct, James.  I am so pleased that you were, clearly, paying attention - despite our little shenanigans.  You have made me VERY happy by agreeing to all this, dear.” He reached out and touched Jim lightly on the nose.


“Then, sweetheart, my job is done!”  Jim smiled and reciprocated Oswald’s action, dropping a small ball of bubbles onto Oswald’s nose as he did so.


“Ooh! “ Oswald giggled.   “Erm - thank you James.” He wiped them off hastily, wrinkling up his nose.   “Right then, my dear, if you’ll just hand me the sponge, please….oh, well then, if you’d rather not….oh, I see!  Hmmm, Jim - darling - you are just SO obliging!”

Chapter Text

The Heart of the Matter.

“Jim - dear - what are you doing?”


“It’s ok Oz - there’s just something I really need to do.” Jim unfastened the fourth button on Oswald’s shirt, then pulled it gently apart, exposing his lover’s smooth white skin.


He stared at the ring of wrinkled flesh - the single blemish on his man’s chest, the place that marked the spot where his beautiful Oswald had taken that bullet for him.


He reached out and stroked round it gently with shaking fingers.  Then he bowed his head and kissed the place lightly.


Oswald quivered, closed his eyes and gave a low moan.  “Jim,” he whispered. He stroked Jim’s head.


Jim sighed, keeping his head low.


“I’ll never forget.”  


Oswald kissed his crown.


“Neither will I.  I’d do it again! In a heartbeat, James.”


“Don’t say that,  please. I don’t want it ever to happen again!”


Oswald had kept something secret and personal as a remembrance of the act - on that day, at that moment,  when all he had in his mind was for Jim NOT to die.


It was locked away in a drawer in the bedroom.  He wasn’t sure if he would ever take it out of there - although he often opened up the drawer to look at it in private - let alone share it with Jim.  He knew it would revive bad memories.


But to him, it was a poignant reminder of how strong was his love for Jim.


A single bullet, cleaned and shining.  He had insisted that the surgeon who removed it gave it back to him.


One day, perhaps when Jim’s recollections weren’t as raw,  he would wear it around his neck to show Jim just how earnest was his vow to love and protect him.

Chapter Text

Jim Forgets

It was a very important date in Oswald’s calendar.


He never forgot it.


Although a lot of water had flowed under the bridge (literally) since it happened, he remembered it as if it were yesterday.


On this day, all that time ago, Jim had taken the momentous decision not to put a bullet in Oswald’s brain - despite the possible dire consequences.  He just hadn’t been prepared to kill him.


Oswald remembered vividly the long, cold, agonising walk - or rather, limp, as he had been freshly hobbled by Fish -  to the pier’s edge. Jim had urged him forward, encouraged very vocally by Harvey, and brandishing his gun - with fierce desperation in his eyes.


Oswald had had some faith in Jim, and he knew that if anyone would spare him it would be James Gordon - but still, he was afraid, as this was not an absolute certainty - and he was in immense physical pain.


This really could be his last minute - his final seconds on earth.  Literally, an insult to injury! He had made a last ditch, heartfelt plea to Jim for mercy, but not before telling him in no uncertain terms of what he knew….the knowledge that he hoped would help him stay alive, as well as then advancing his cause.


He stood staring down with dread into the fathomless depths of freezing water.  Like any condemned man, he saw his life flash before him. He heard Jim cock the gun and hold it near his head -  and waited for the flare of fire and the cracking sound of lead leaving the barrel of the gun - and then, blackness - ‘no-moreness’ - oblivion - as the bullet smashed through his skull and into his brain, depriving him of existence.  In those moments, he had mentally apologised to his mother for deserting her and predeceasing her this way - possibly the worst thing a child could do to a parent.


But his faith in Jim had been sound.  And of course, he knew now that his handsome detective had felt more than sympathy for him - although he had been too afraid to admit it, even to himself.


However,  much to Oswald’s disbelief, Jim had seemingly forgotten that very important anniversary - the one that meant so much to him!


He had dropped hints to try and jog Jim’s memory.  In bed that morning, he had remarked quite pointedly,  “Oh Jim, aren’t you just glad to be alive on a day like this?”   “Sure!”   Jim had smiled, and then rolled over and given him a quick kiss before swinging out of bed with a groan and a yawn and heading for the shower.  

Then over toast and soft boiled eggs and strong black coffee at the breakfast table - Oswald in his silk robe and Jim in his work attire - Oswald tried again.    “Ah, Jim,” he had sighed blissfully,  “I love that we can sit here like this, enjoying this great breakfast, don’t you?  This is my favourite - boiled eggs and soldiers, did you know that? Well, silly me, of course you do!  It’s good to celebrate - well, just being alive, isn’t it, Jim? I mean - things could have been so different - couldn’t they?”

“Uh-huh, guess so,” Jim had grunted distractedly, smiling quietly to himself, and clearly only half-listening to Oswald’s words, sipping at his coffee and munching on his toast as he flicked quickly through the Gotham Gazette.   “Hmph, slow news day today,” he’d grunted with a nod of approval. “Hopefully, work will be quiet as well.  I might be back home earlier today!” He’d winked meaningfully at Ozzy, closed the pages of the paper and drained his coffee cup.  Then he’d stood up from the table, stopped by Oswald momentarily and grasped his chin gently, giving him an affectionate peck on the lips.   


“Gotta go, sweetheart.  Barnes called an early meeting,” he’d grinned apologetically, rolling his eyes with exasperation.  “I’ll call you when I can, OK?”


Oswald’s heart had turned over at the feel of Jim’s mouth on his.  The kiss, along with sight of Jim’s sheepish smile, had made him feel a tad more mellow - and he didn’t want to part with Jim on a sour note.  He never wanted that!


“Do you promise, Detective Gordon?”  he’d replied, smiling sweetly and batting his lashes.


“Of course I promise - especially when you put it like that!”  Jim had hesitated, studying him quietly with his deep blue eyes, and then come forward again, cupped his cheek and given him a lingering, open mouthed kiss.  His lips were clearly hankering for more, but he held back - just a little - as if he were afraid of where it may lead him if he delved too deep. After their mouths parted with a soft pop, he stroked Oswald’s dimpled cheek with his thumb and gazed thoughtfully into his wide open eyes.  


“Jesus, Ozzy!” he rasped, shaking his head slowly with disbelief. “ I don’t think - well, I don’t think I’ll ever get over how Goddamn gorgeous you are!”


Oswald had weakened - mentally and physically.  He’d given a little gasp, and his mouth had fallen open - he’d been speechless for a moment. “Oh  - um - thank you, dear!” he’d faltered. “And - hm - you, Jim - you’re extremely handsome, of course - I already said that,  right? And - hm - by the way, that kiss you just gave me, dear - it was, well - divine!”


“Hrm - divine, eh?  Well - glad you liked it!   It has to last us until tonight!  I didn’t think one little peck would quite do it.”


“Well, you know I love your little pecks as well!”  Oswald tilted his head and grinned impishly.


“Ahhhh - hmmm - thanks!”  Jim chuckled. “Anyway, I really have gotta get going now.”


Oswald had hoped that the fact that he had got Olga to serve up his signature breakfast would give Jim more than a hint that this was a feast in honour of an auspicious occasion.  If only Jim had remembered, or even paid attention to the clues! He thought at least that he might have pricked up his ears at the mention of ‘soldiers’....


He gave Jim one last opportunity to cotton on before throwing in the towel.


“Erm -  Jim….” he called softly, stopping Jim in his tracks just as he reached the door.


“Yes, Oz?”  Jim said a tad more brusquely,  turning around and glancing very quickly at his watch.


“Jim - I just wanted to say…. I can’t believe that either of us lived long enough to be together like this - let alone share a kiss.  It’s a miracle, isn’t it?” He gave Jim a searching, meaningful look.


“Well - yeah, it is….hum, that’s  kinda deep for this time of the morning!  Are you trying to tell me something, mister?”  Jim had put his hands on his hips and stared back at him curiously, wrinkling his brow.


“, Jim, I’m not trying to tell you anything!”  Oswald was dying to come out and say it, but his pride got in the way -   Jim really should remember of his own volition without having it spelt out for him!


“OK...OK.” Jim frowned, then shook his head with bewilderment.   “Anyway - I really do have to go now. I’ll call you - and call me too if you need to - right?”


“Yes, yes, of course - and the same goes for you too, naturally.”  Oswald had forced his mouth into a wide, feline smile. “Now - off you go, dear,” he’d instructed, waving Jim away as casually as he could.  


Once Jim had gone - and the imprint of his kiss and the soothing effect of his deep blue eyes and honeyed words had worn off - Oswald sank back down into a blue funk that lasted right up until lunch time.  This depressed mood wasn’t helped by his having an uncharacteristically light work schedule. It seemed that his business interests in Gotham’s underworld were running so smoothly today that there was very little, if any, need for his intervention.  He had the odd phone call to deal with, but that was it. His presence didn’t seem to be required, and so he remained at home.


This was a good thing, of course, but it also meant that he had long periods of quiet and boredom, with few useful distractions - which just allowed him to brood….


Jim’s working day was also boring and uneventful - and annoying.   Captain Barnes had called an early meeting, at which he had told all officers to be ‘on standby.’  For what, he hadn’t made clear. Everything seemed quiet and peaceful out there and there seemed to be nothing they needed to be ‘on standby’ for….Jim was especially cross because he could have had more time at time at home with Oswald.  He heard the grumbles of his colleagues after Barnes had left, but didn’t echo them because, as a senior officer, he felt that this would be unprofessional.


His little kingpin could be more flexible about his working hours - being self-employed, as it were - and Jim begrudged being torn so prematurely from a nice warm bed, and wrenched from Oswald’s arms, all for nothing.  His little lover hadn’t even needed to leave their bed, but he’d chosen not to turn over and go back to sleep. He’d said he couldn’t sleep, but he’d looked really tired. It was plain that he just wanted to keep Jim company.


Jim went through the usual anxieties  about what might transpire if he did happen to come across Oswald in the course of his work - especially as Barnes seemed to be so on edge, which was never a good sign.   However, their paths never collided. Everything seemed relatively quiet, and the crime levels light, especially for Gotham - it was almost as if the criminal underworld had called a truce!  Maybe it had….

He was relieved, of course, but he also wanted to make contact with Oswald  - he always liked to exchange some form of communication, just to know that he was ok.


He tried to call him several times, but his phone had gone straight to voicemail. He left messages, such as, “Hey, sweetheart, just checking in, how are you?  Give me a call back when you pick this up, ok?” After getting no response by lunch time, he texted, “Are you ok? Call me!”


And then finally, an hour later, Oswald’s response rumbled through.  Jim’s heart gave a leap of joy. Oswald’s reply said simply, “I’m fine.”


Jim was so pleased to hear from him - he had been starting to get concerned, especially as Oswald had acted a little weird at breakfast.  But now he was worried about the abrupt manner of his reply. It sounded more than a little off. Something was clearly wrong and he had to find out what.


“Glad you’re ok.  Call me - PLEASE.” he texted.


He again reflected on the strange way Oswald had behaved and spoken before he’d left him that morning.  If only he’d spent more time listening to him - he really should have made him say what was on his mind - but he’d been preoccupied with thinking about work, and getting to the station in time for Barnes’s meeting.  The meeting that was about nothing. He bristled with annoyance.


And anyway, since when had what Barnes demanded mattered more to him than his relationship with Oswald?  He felt a sudden sharp pang of remorse.


Maybe Oswald had been hinting that he had something especially risky or dangerous to do today?  He’d never forgive himself if something happened to him. He would never get to speak to him, hold him, or kiss him ever again.  That didn’t bear thinking about!


His thoughts were interrupted as his phone began to ring - and there was Oswald’s picture staring back at him from the screen, with the word ‘Ozzy’ and a heart flashing away furiously beneath it.


“Hey, Ozzy, ” he said cheerfully.  He felt immense relief.


“Hello Jim,” came the offhand response.


“Sweetheart - where are you?  Are you ok?”


“I’m at the penthouse, Jim.  And yes - of course I’m ok,” replied Oswald flatly.


“At home?  Still? Why?  Are you sick?”


“No, Jim - just a less than eventful day.”  Oswald laughed harshly. Jim could visualise the casual shrug and eye rolling that went that laugh.  His heart turned over.


“Oswald - listen - I’ve been trying to reach you all day!  I’ve been worrying about you!”


“Worrying, were you?  Hmmmm - well, that’s something I suppose,” Oswald responded cuttingly.


“Er - hey, mister - what’s that supposed to mean?”


“Oh - nothing.”


“What do you mean, nothing? It doesn’t sound like nothing to me.”


“Have you figured it out yet, Jim?  Have you remembered?”


“Figured what out?  Remembered what? Ozzy, for God’s sake - don’t be so cryptic!  Just tell me what’s bothering you.”


“I’d rather not talk about it on the phone, Jim.  It’s too sensitive.”


“Too sensitive?!”


“Yes.  Too personal.”


“Right.  Now you're spooking me, Ozzy.  I’m coming home.”


“But won’t Captain Barnes be pissed at you for leaving your post?” Oswald’s tone was faintly mocking.


“Screw Barnes!” growled Jim.  “You know this is more important.  I’ll be right there….”

“You didn’t have to come straight home, Jim,”  Oswald sighed. He stood by the mantelpiece, nursing a glass of whiskey.


“Yes I did.”  Jim marched over to him.   He took Oswald’s glass away from him and placed it on the mantelpiece.  Oswald’s mouth tightened, but he said nothing.


“This is important, Ozzy.  You are important. WE are important.”  He put his hands on Oswald’s arms. “Believe me - I won’t put the job before you, ever.  I made that mistake before and I’m not doing it again - not with you.” He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to Oswald’s.


Oswald closed his eyes and pressed back.  “Ah, Jim. Jim, those are beautiful words,” he sighed.    “You put me before anything and anyone else. I am touched, really I am.  But, Jim, dear - you forgot, didn’t you?”


He raised his head and Jim saw that they were glistening with tears.  


“Hey Ozzy - what, you’re crying?!   Did I do that? Jesus, I’m sorry.” He took Oswald’s face in his hands and stroked his jaw gently.    “What did I forget? For God’s sake, tell me!”


Oswald shook his head slowly, tears falling down his cheeks. “You still haven’t figured it out, Detective?”  he sniffed.


“Of course not - if I had, I’d wouldn’t be standing here and watching you cry - which is killing me by the way, if that’s any consolation.”  Jim wiped the tears away with his thumbs.


Oswald delved into his breast pocket and fished out his silk square,  dabbing at his eyes and wiping his nose. “Forgive the tears, Jim, but do you honestly mean to tell me you don’t remember?”


“Oz, it’s me who needs forgiving!  I made you cry, Goddamnit! I wish I could remember and stop you crying and make you smile - but I can’t!  Please just tell me what it is that I’ve forgotten to say, or do, and I’ll try and put it right.”


Oswald cocked his head curiously and fixed Jim with that thin-lipped smile of deep disappointment that Jim dreaded to see more than anything else.


“Fine, Jim  - I’ll tell you, then.  Today was… was, and still is, our anniversary,”  Oswald announced with a heavy sigh.


“Erm - anniversary?”   “Think, man, think!  What the hell does he mean?!” thought Jim desperately.


It couldn’t be their wedding anniversary - they weren’t even married yet!  And it definitely wasn’t the anniversary of their engagement - or even the date of their first kiss!  No, he remembered both of those dates quite vividly!


And as for the time Oswald threw himself in the way of that bullet…..that was one day he would relive over and over….but it hadn’t happened on this date, that was for sure.


“Yes.  You know.  THE anniversary, Jim.  It’s the reason I’m standing here, in front of you now.  It’s the reason I’m able to talk to you, or cry, or laugh, or kiss you, or do anything at all, Jim.   It’s the reason I’m still breathing! I am amazed that you can’t remember!”


The answer finally dawned on Jim.  He went cold.


“ mean when I was supposed to…….and didn’t….”


“Yes Jim - the day you were supposed to kill me....and didn’t.  The day you decided to spare my life. The single most important decision you ever made as far as I’m concerned - I mean, there was also the moment you decided to kiss me, of course - but, let’s face it - if you hadn’t saved me, you would never have got to kiss me, would you?  Because I’d have been lying at the bottom of the river with a bullet in my brain….”


“Don’t, Oswald!”  Jim’s face crumpled and he pressed his fingers to his temples.


“I’m sorry Jim - but it’s true, isn’t it?  If you’d done what Harvey told you to do, I wouldn’t have been here now.   But you didn’t, and so here we are. And I’m so thankful! I wanted you to remember, too.”


“You wanted me to remember?  Remember that I nearly had to put a bullet in you?  Do you know how much that thought hurts me whenever I’m reminded of it? Do you think I didn’t lie awake nights visualising what would have happened if I had?!”


“But, Jim - I thought you’d be glad that…..”


“I tried to block it out, Oswald.  I nearly succeeded! The thought of you being shot in the head - by my hand - and then the image of your lifeless body being dragged from the river, and the thought that I’d then have never seen you alive again, never got to hold you, kiss you, be with you - my true soulmate?  Do you really think that’s something I want to reflect on!?”


“Jim, Jim, steady on -  yes, I do see where you’re coming from dear, and I am sorry that I caused you pain!   But - don’t you see, Jim, that I wanted to celebrate this date - because I want to give thanks that you decided NOT to kill me.”


Jim sighed and his mouth creased into a sardonic smile.  He shook his head slowly. “Ahhh, sweetheart - leave it to you to see the positives where I see the negatives!”  He opened his arms and beckoned Oswald inside. “Come here, Cobblepot. I think we both could do with a cuddle!” Oswald smiled with relief and went to Jim’s arms.


“I’m sorry I upset you by forgetting,” murmured Jim, kissing Oswald’s crown.


“Well, I’m sorry I hurt you by making you remember!”  Oswald murmured into Jim’s shoulder. He tightened his hold on him for a moment.


“It’s ok, Oswald,” Jim rasped softly into Oswald’s parting.  He pressed his mouth to Oswald’s head again, breathing in his scent.   “We just see that day in different ways, don’t we? Let me tell you what I remember about that day.”  He rested his chin on Oswald’s crown and spoke thoughtfully, as if musing to himself.


“I remember you staring up at me from Harvey’s boot, all beaten up and crumpled and shaking.  I remember, your eyes were so wide, and so blue - you looked beautiful even then, y’know, all messed up and bloody and scared!”  He felt Oswald give a little sigh.


“Then,” he continued,  “I understood what I was expected to do - and I saw from the look on your face that you knew it too.   And then I vividly remember you limping along so painfully, stumbling and almost falling at times, with me herding you towards that pier like an injured sacrificial animal.   There you were going to your death, as if just having your leg smashed up wasn’t bad enough!” He felt Oswald shiver, and rubbed his back tenderly to comfort him. Oswald gave a happy grunt and relaxed again.


“Then when I stood next to you on the edge of the pier, pointing my gun at your head - knowing Harvey was watching and expecting me to go through with the deed.  You were so close, Ozzy! I couldn’t see the expression on your face, but I could see how hard and fast you were breathing. I was close enough to see each strand of your soft dark hair, and I couldn’t help noticing the shape of your head - it was perfect - is perfect!    I thought, that hair will be all matted up with blood, if I pull the trigger.   Such lovely jet black hair, all messed up! And your perfect head would be broken apart and your blood and brains splattered everywhere.  And that would be the end of you!”


Jim felt Oswald give a sharp intake of breath.  “Sorry,” he said. “No, no, carry on,” Oswald urged.


“Thank you.  Anyway - I imagined how you would then disappear down into the river - a dead worthless snitch, who no-one would care about.  But I cared! I more than cared! You were more than that to me. I saw you were beautiful. A flawed but beautiful human being.   And now I know your mother’s heart would have been broken too, if I’d decided to put that bullet in your brain.”


“So of course I couldn’t do it - couldn’t maim and kill you - but then I still had to push you down  into that freezing water, and hope you’d survive. There was no guarantee that you would, although I gave you a fighting chance - after all, let’s face it, you had a broken leg and that water was so damn cold and murky!  It’s probably toxic as well! But, Oswald - sweetheart - you were a fighter, and stronger than you looked, and determined to survive. At the time, though, you must remember that I didn’t know that, and I thought you might still die - from drowning or exposure if not from a gunshot.”  Jim stopped, took a hard breath in and then a long breath out. “But thank God you didn’t! Anyway, Oswald - that’s what I remember when you talk about this day.”


Oswald lifted his head and looked into Jim’s sad, soulful blue eyes.  He smiled softly.


“Ah - James.  Dear James! Those were terrible recollections - memories I too find hard to bear when I think about them.  But clearly, they are much harder for you. I am so sorry to bring that all back to you. But please, dear, don’t take on so.  Just try to think of it only as the day you chose to save me - as I do. I see it as a very good day. You opted to let me live - you literally had my life in your hands, Jim - and they were safe hands.   And I survived, got to the shore, and didn’t die of exposure. The whole thing made me stronger! And because of that, I now get to cuddle with you - like this....” and he nestled back down, burrowing into Jim’s shoulder, and nuzzling him contentedly.   Jim sighed deeply. “Yeah, you do,” he rasped with a chuckle. “And I don’t know where I’d be either - without my Cobblepot cuddles!” He kissed Oswald’s shoulder.


“Ahhh, Jim.  Now, that is sweet.  And remember, we’re going to be married too - soon, my love, I promise!  This is all beyond my wildest dreams, y’know! If that’s not worth celebrating, I don’t know what is!  It’s funny how we see the same day so differently, isn’t it? Well, anyway, I really am sorry Jim, that I have made you relive painful memories.”


“Well, maybe you did - but I know it wasn’t intentional.  And I think talking about it has actually made me feel better!  You can be a pretty good listener, y’know that? Anyway, I’m glad I know what was bothering you now.  And it all worked out fine in the end, didn’t it?” Jim kissed Oswald’s crown, feeling the softness of his raven hair against his lips.  That silky, fragrant hair that never got bloodied; that perfect head that was never broken.




“Yes, Jim?”


“I know how we can celebrate our anniversary….”

Chapter Text

Celebration - Part 1.


“You know how we can celebrate, James? Do elaborate!”  Oswald raised a raven brow and the corner of his mouth began to lift with it.


“Well, for a start - with this.”  Jim pulled Oswald in close, taking him by the chin and stroking his jaw,  then locked lips with him, smooching him long and slow. Oswald gasped and then leaned in to the kiss, enjoying every second of the movement of Jim’s lips against his.  Their mouths finally parted with a soft pop.


“Well, that was an excellent start!” Oswald remarked silkily.  He ran his tongue quickly over his lips.


“I knew you’d say that!”  Jim grinned. “Here’s some more.”    He repeated his action, his fingers landing softly on Oswald’s collarbone.  Oswald slipped his hands inside Jim’s jacket and around his back.


“Mmmm, fabulous follow-up!”  Oswald grinned after Part Two had concluded.


Jim took Oswald by the hand.   “C’mon, let’s get comfortable.”


He headed for the sofa, Oswald limping after him eagerly.  


They nestled down.  Furious kissing and cuddling commenced.  


Then suddenly, in ‘mid-kiss’, Oswald detached himself,  sat back and eyed Jim mischievously.


“Hey!” Jim panted, frowning with puzzlement.  “C’mere!” He came forward, reaching out to Oswald, but his cheeky kingpin ducked away playfully, smiling provocatively.


He grabbed Jim’s outstretched hands, holding onto them tightly and halting their progress.  “Jim - I was just thinking - are you not concerned that you will get a call from the station any time?”  he goaded, his eyes glinting demonically.


“Screw them,” Jim growled, pushing back.  “They can do without me - but I can’t do without this!”  He came forward forcibly, overpowering his gangster with ease, and his lips latched back onto Oswald’s mouth.  


Oswald willingly surrendered, his little game all over and done with.   As he had hoped, the passion of Jim’s kisses had intensified from being teased, and he was loving it.


He had always noticed Jim’s beautiful mouth and had strongly desired the touch of it, just once. Even an affectionate peck on the forehead would have been something.  However, he had got round to thinking that it was never going to happen, despite subtle signs that his gorgeous detective might just share his inclinations. Then their little tussle in the alley had brought about his eureka moment, and Jim’s kiss had been well worth waiting for….it had more than come up to expectations….

“Jim….are we going to do - um, continue things here, on the couch - or shall we retire to the bedroom?” Oswald panted, as they finally came up for air.


“Hmmmm, choices, eh.  Well - sweetheart - tell you what - why don’t  we do both….”

“So, if anyone does ask what I was doing, I can truthfully say that I was working on a special case that I really needed to focus on.  And investigate fully and thoroughly.” Jim stroked his hand down Oswald’s bare arm and grasped at his fingers.


“Oh.  I am your special case, am I?”  Oswald played distractedly with Jim’s hand, staring at Jim with wide, studious eyes.  “Hrm - well,” he continued thoughtfully, pursing up his lips, “I did notice that you did give me a very full investigation.  You left no place unexplored - typical police detective!” He giggled.


“Ha ha!  Well, I’ll need to carry on making a VERY detailed study of you!  I need to keep your file up to date! Maybe you could supply some candid photos for me to go in it later?”

Jim raised his blond brows and bared his teeth meaningfully.  


Oswald raised his own black brows in response.  “Really, James, you are becoming quite saucy in your old age!”  He smiled crookedly and bit his knuckle.


“Hey you - less of the old!”


Jim pounced, rolling Oswald over onto his back.


“I’ll show you who’s old!”


He explored his lover’s neck with his lips, brushing softly at first, then pressing more firmly, feeling Oswald’s warm, smooth skin quiver and twitch.  Oswald’s breathing quickened and then as Jim moved lower, he began being much more vocal about his needs - demands that Jim was more than happy to grant.


“Well - James - I do apologise!  You are not in the least bit old!”


“Ha!  Thanks!”  Jim had regained his former position.  He caressed Oswald’s arm lightly and took in the misted blue beauty of Oswald’s post-coital stare.  He noticed the damp dark strands of his kingpin’s hair clinging to his glistening, glowing forehead.


“Anyway - about those photos,” he added, sliding his finger down to Oswald’s wrist and then grasping his hand firmly.  “I wasn’t joking, y’know. I would love to have at least one - to have inside my locker at work. Then I could peep at you whenever I wanted.”


“Ooh, you mean I’ll be your pin-up, James?”


“Yeah.  That’s it.  My pin-up. And peep show.”  He winked.


“Peep show!  James Gordon, you are getting worse and worse - or is that better and better, I can never quite decide!”


“Ha ha!  Well I hope it’s better.”


“Yes - of course, I was only teasing, dear.”


“You like the idea of being a pin up, then?”


“Like it?  Of course I like it!  No-one ever said that to me before.”


“I can’t think why.”


“Ahhh, thank you James.  You are very sweet. Whatever it is that you see in me, my love - I am very grateful!”  Oswald smiled shyly.


“And when you call me ‘my love’, I’m very grateful too!”


Jim reached out and stroked Oswald’s face, then came forward and kissed him softly.  Oswald closed his eyes and sighed.


“Oh - by the way, James dear - I love it when you call me your little raven haired beauty.”  He moved up onto his elbow, studying Jim with soft, lovelorn eyes.


“That’s good, because I meant it!  You know I did, and do.”


“Not just when you’re - hmmm - in the middle of things?”  Oswald’s gaze sharpened.


“Of course not.  You know that, Oz.  It’s just that I find it easier to express - erm, in the middle of things.”


“Well, of course I know that, Jim.  I was only teasing you again.”


“I know you were.  I like that we can share banter like this, y’know.  I’ve not felt quite as comfortable as this with anyone before.”


“Really, Jim?  So, I make you feel comfortable, do I?  Well, that’s another first!” Oswald grinned a wide feline grin.


“Yeah.”  Jim cleared his throat and scratched at his ear.   He assumed a stern tone. “Anyway, Cobblepot - I think you warrant some further investigations,  and I might just have to end up interrogating you!”


“Oh - hmmm - I see!  Well then, I don’t want to be  accused of hindering your - hrm - important police work, do I?  I expect there will be a special room for this interrogation to take place?  I hope you don’t expect me to talk, Detective Gordon because....” Oswald touched his mouth meaningfully….”these lips are sealed!”


“Oh, I think I know a good way of opening them....”


Jim swooped,  demonstrating his technique, which was, of course, completely successful.  Oswald opened up to him without hesitation.


“There you go.  I knew you’d be co-operative!   And let’s face it - you are a very important subject!”  Jim’s hand found Oswald’s and their fingers became entwined.


“Ahhh,  strictly speaking, y’know,”  Oswald mock-mused, “ you are my subject - after all, I am the King of Gotham - am I not?!”


“Mmm, OK, you do have a point - erm, Your Majesty - you know it’s a pleasure to serve you!” Jim winked.


“Ha!  So it seems!  But, as it also seems, the pleasure is all mine!  Anyway - seeing as it’s a special day, I am sure I can be your subject!”


“Thank you, Your Majesty.  That’s very generous!”


They both laughed.

“Seriously, Oswald - I really do feel comfortable with you.  Did I ever actually spell that out to you?”


“Well, not in so many words, Jim - but I did know, because I read between the lines.  I find that helps with you, dear. A lot.” He smiled warmly.


“And, I hope I have told you, or at least let you know in some way, how happy you make me,” Oswald continued.  “Hand on heart, I have never felt quite so comfortable with anyone else. I don’t know what I’d do without you!  Let’s face it - without you, I wouldn’t even be here….”


“I know, I know,” Jim interrupted hastily, his brow tightening.


“Ah, I’m sorry, Jim.  I should have remembered that that’s still raw.”


“No, no, sweetheart, it’s ok.    Although I hate remembering the bad parts, the good parts are, as you say, worth celebrating.  We need to take time out to remember that and give thanks. Spend time together, say screw the rest of the world for a change.”


Jim recounted his gripe with Barnes and his ‘meeting-that-wasn’t-a-meeting’, and told Oswald  how angry he had felt. He had frittered away the morning observing nothing at all, when he could just as easily have been keeping his eyes - and hands - on the person who was worth much more than just something to him.


Oswald tutted thoughtfully and shook his head slowly, pursing up his lips.  “Jim, my love, I can fully understand your vexation. As to Captain Barnes - I am sure he is, as you would say, ‘totally losing the plot!’ ”  Oswald mimicked Jim’s gravelly voice and knitted his brows, imitating Jim’s intense frown.


Jim gave an involuntary snort of amusement.  Oswald’s impressions of him were always amusing and accurate!  


Oswald grinned widely, his eyes shining with triumph.  “That was a pretty good one, eh?”


“OK, OK,” Jim laughed.  “You got me down to a tee, as usual.”


Then suddenly Oswald’s smile disappeared and was replaced with a look of fierce determination.  


Jim gulped.


“Whereas you, my dear - you have your finger right on the pulse!”  Oswald took Jim’s hand and guided it to his neck, placing Jim’s middle and index fingers over his carotid artery.  “Can you feel that, Jim?”


“Oh - yeah - yeah, I can,” Jim rasped.  “I can feel it, Ozzy! It’s beating really fast!”  He felt the faint but rapid thrumming sensation of Oswald’s coursing blood.  It was pumping furiously….


“Your touch does have that effect on me,” Oswald grinned.  He took away his hand.


He reached down purposefully and put his hand on Jim’s knee.  


“Anyway - Jim - listen,” he resumed firmly, giving Jim’s knee a squeeze.  “I know you should occupy Barnes’s position, and I know that one day, very soon, you will!”


Jim frowned.  “Erm....really, Oz, I’m not so sure about that…”


Oswald clasped Jim’s knee firmly, the blue fire in his eyes intensifying with hot, seething passion.  Jim was so startled he almost jumped out of his skin...


“Well, I am - Mr Police Detective!  I am absolutely certain! That position is yours by right, and you know it, deep down - I know you do!”  Oswald almost spat out the words and he gripped Jim’s knee so hard that Jim visibly flinched.


Oswald immediately released his grip, his eyes widening with alarm.


“Oh - Jim - honey - I’m sorry, did I hurt you....?”


“No, no, it’s OK - of course you didn’t.  You just took me by surprise - no harm done!”


“Ah, that’s a relief.  I’m glad I didn’t hurt you.  You know I would never want to do that, intentionally or otherwise.  Anyway - I’m sorry, dear, but I just got indignant on your behalf, you see.   You really don’t appreciate your own worth, which necessitates me bringing it to your attention.  You are far too modest, you know! Please, Jim - honey,” he continued gently, “try and get used to the idea - you are going places, and I am going to help you get there.  It’s the least I can do for the man I love and am going to marry!” He took Jim’s face in his hands and gave him a fleeting, soft kiss.


Jim closed his eyes for that moment,  loving the sensation of Oswald’s velvet lips, the warmth of his breath and the feel of his long, graceful fingers gently cradling his face.  This was sublime, tender and sweet. His loving man’s hands could do so much damage to other people, and yet here they were soothing and placating him.  He knew they would never hurt him.


“OK, OK,” he conceded with a sigh of surrender.  “You win. I’m going places. Sure. As long as it’s with you, I guess I’m ok with that.”


“There you go, my dear!  You know it makes sense!”   A playful glint appeared in Oswald’s eyes and a saucy smirk spread across his face.  “After will need to keep me in the manner to which I’m accustomed - right?”  He cocked his head and grinned impishly.


“Ah  - so you’re planning to be a kept man, are you?”  Jim replied with mock indignation. He winked. He found Oswald’s hand and felt for the engagement ring.


“Say if I am?  Do you have a problem with that, future Captain Gordon?”


“Well no, of course not!  Anything but! I could just see you as a house-husband.  Baking pies, and making stews, and whatnot. I know you’re a pretty good cook.  Plus - I’m pretty sure you’d look very cute in an apron!”


“Ha!  Would I?!”  scoffed Oswald.  “Jim Gordon, you charmer - come here!”  He threw his arms around Jim and the Cobblepot cuddling recommenced.


Chapter Text

Celebration - Part 2

The amorous pair were cavorting and cuddling for so long that dinner time was upon them before they realised it.


Oswald’s stomach gave a loud grumble.  “Heh!” Oswald snarfed. “Be quiet, you!”  He tapped his belly sternly as if reprimanding it.


“Ahhh.  Hum. I think a certain kingpin needs to be fed!”  Jim put his hand on Oswald’s stomach and gave it an affectionate rub.


Oswald chuckled.  “Yes, to be honest with you, Jim dear - I am actually starving.  Ravenous, in fact! And I’ll bet you are too!”


“Yep, I am.   C’mon, let’s go grab something to eat.”


“I’m afraid I never got around to asking Olga to make anything.  I - erm, didn’t have much of an appetite earlier….” Oswald bit his lip awkwardly.


“You didn’t?  Ahhhh - sweetheart.  That was my fault, huh?”  Jim stroked Oswald’s cheek lightly with the back of his hand.  Oswald closed his eyes and smiled.


“No Jim, of course not,” he replied smoothly.    “Anyway, we are both hungry now, and that’s what really matters, right?  Well, I’m sure there is something we can rustle up....or how about sending out for some Chinese food, eh?”  


“No way, mister!”  Jim cupped Oswald’s face and kissed him emphatically.  “This is a celebration and I’m damn well taking my man out to dinner!”


“Um - Jim, it’s okay, you don’t have to......”


“No way, sweetheart!  I insist! My treat. After all, I did manage to upset you.”


“No no, I upset myself when all’s said and done.  Anyway - erm….James...look, it’s a lovely gesture, but….”


“Ahhhhh!” Jim grinned, stretching his eyebrows and nodding knowingly.  “I get it! You think I’m gonna take you somewhere cheap and nasty, right?”


“No, no, I didn’t mean….um….” Oswald faltered, his mouth agape and eyelashes fluttering frantically.


“Ahhhh, look at you now, all awkward and flustered.  Now who’s being teased, eh? The boot’s on the other foot now isn’t it?   That’s cute, Cobblepot. Awwww, come here!” Jim took Oswald in his arms and smooched his open lips, making them relax and widen into a smile again.


“There, is that better?  Yeah, I can see it is. That’s a gorgeous smile - but that bewildered look is very pretty too, y’know.   Ha, now I made you blush - also adorable! Right, I am going to take you out somewhere special, and I promise - you are really gonna love it, sweetheart…”

Oswald was pleasantly taken aback when Jim’s car pulled up alongside a small neighbourhood Italian joint that looked very friendly and inviting - and nothing like Maroni’s place.  He was highly relieved on both counts.


“Backstreet places don’t have to be shabby, y’see,” Jim qualified proudly, as he saw Oswald’s concerned face relax and then break out into a huge amazed smile as he entered the restaurant.


“Small and intimate - I like it!” Oswald commented, glancing round with approval.  He was even more happy when Jim managed to get them a secluded table in a quiet corner of the restaurant.


“I call this my hidden gem,” Jim remarked confidentially.  “I used to come here to be alone - y’know, when I needed some personal space and privacy.”


““But….you’re not alone, Jim.  I’m here!”


Jim smiled secretively.  He reached out and took Oswald’s left hand, stroking his fingers over the stone on the sapphire engagement ring.


“I know,” he said softly.


“Oh.”  Oswald’s heart started to beat very fast.  He swallowed hard. “ I’m the only person you ever brought here, Jim?” he faltered, feeling his face begin to flush.


“Yep.  The only one, Oswald.”


“Ah.  Um. Well - Jim, I don’t exaggerate when I say - well, I am touched - deeply touched, my love!”


“Aha, so you’re finally starting to get the message -  that I value you above everyone else? Because if so, you’d be spot on.”  Jim’s deep blue eyes had a glint in them that was only on display when he had said something very profound and meaningful.


“Ah, Jim….you make me speechless, I don’t know what to say….”


“You don’t need to say anything.  No talking needed. Just use your mouth for eating, OK?”


“Of course!  For now, anyway.”  Oswald squeezed Jim’s hand and winked suggestively.  Then his elegant fingers pulled out a breadstick and brandished it at Jim.   “Open your mouth, honey!” he instructed, with a crooked smile. Jim dodged away, frowning with mock severity.  “Cobblepot, behave!” he said sternly, then snatched away the breadstick and crunched into it.


“Killjoy!” Oswald grabbed a breadstick for himself and began to nibble on it provocatively.


“Oswald!  For God’s sake, stop!”  Jim protested, attempting to suppress his laughter.


“Now who feels awkward?” Oswald grinned demonically.


“Ha ha!”


The waiter came over.  Jim straightened his face and flashed a warning glance to his fiance. Oswald bit his lip and looked away, continuing to munch.


“Hey, Paolo, how’s things?” greeted Jim.  


He wondered why Oswald was suddenly stifling giggles behind his napkin, but pretended he hadn’t noticed.


“Fine, James my friend, and you?”  


Paolo made no comment on the fact that not only had his regular customer finally found a companion - a man, who he seemed to be enjoying a  certain intimacy with - but that this man now seemed to be laughing behind his napkin for no apparent reason. He checked himself quickly to see if there was anything spilled down his uniform.  No, nothing there.


At least James looked happy, which was definitely something new - he was usually pretty sombre and thoughtful - and he noticed that his giggly companion did look very sophisticated and well-heeled!  So there could be quite a decent tip in this if he played his cards right….


“I’m good, thanks.  Paolo, this is Oswald.  He is - a special friend.”   Jim gestured towards Oswald, who thankfully had managed to control himself and regain his dignified countenance.


“Hello, Oswald.  It is a pleasure to meet  you.” Paolo bowed his head.


“Likewise, Paolo.”  Oswald smiled warmly and returned the gesture.  He had to reign himself in - show some respect.  Jim had said he was ‘the one’, the only person who was deserving of this place, and the last thing he wanted to do was ruin that….


They ordered drinks - Jim choosing sparkling water, or ‘driver’s champagne’, as Oswald jestingly called it, and Oswald opting for a sparkling wine aperitif.  They ordered some olives and bread while they were musing over the menu.


“I’ll be on my back if I drink too many of these on an empty stomach!” Oswald grinned.


“In that case, I’ll get you some more….”


Oswald rolled his eyes.  “James Gordon - you are incorrigible!  Really!”


“Seriously,” he continued,  “thank you for bringing me here, Jim.  It means a lot to me.”


“It means a lot to me too.”


Oswald gave Jim a soft smile. “Love you,” he mouthed.  “Love you too,” Jim mouthed in return.


They ordered their meals.  Oswald chose Lobster Ravioli followed by Branzino and Jim opted for Costollette alla Toscano - pork belly in barbecue sauce - and then calzone.

“That’s a pretty hefty plate of food!”  Oswald remarked as he saw the size of the portions on Jim’s plate.  Oswald’s portions were daintier but still very generous.


“Well, I need to put the calories back in - after all, you made me work pretty hard earlier!”


“Ach, poor James, how I made you suffer!”


“Ha ha!  Anyway, mister - what was all that about earlier?”


“What was all what about?”  Oswald said innocently. He forked some more sea bass into his mouth.


“You know full well what I’m talking about, Cobblepot!  Why were you sniggering behind your napkin when Paolo came over? The poor guy clearly didn’t know where to look!”


“Ahhh, Detective - you don’t miss a trick do you?  Well, I’ll let you in on a little secret - something that never came up in our conversation before.  When I was, shall we say, pursuing my career - when I first came back to Gotham know…..well, I got myself a job in Maroni’s restaurant as a pot washer - under an assumed name.  I was still incognito at the time, James - you remember, I had to hide my identity from Fish and all the others who wanted me dead….”


“Erm, yes, I remember,” Jim frowned, and he stopped chewing for an instant.  


“I’m sorry if that upsets you - me talking about that,”  Oswald said hastily.


“No, it’s ok - go on,” Jim prompted with a smile.  He carried on cutting into his calzone.


“Well Jim, I came up with the name Paolo.”


“Paolo?  Ahhhh - I see, now, I’m up to speed!  But - Ozzy - seriously, you don’t look anything like a Paolo!”


“I know!  I look very ‘un-Italian’ don’t I?  But I said it was on my mother’s side - even more ironic as my mother is - erm, was, Hungarian….”  His eyes clouded for a moment.


“Oswald…”  Jim reached out and touched Oswald’s arm.  “Thank you - I’m ok, Jim,” Oswald smiled reassuringly.


“Anyway - there you go,” he continued more brightly.  “That’s all there is to it. I am sorry, Jim, if I made your friend feel uneasy.  That was not my intention.”


“Of course not.  I know that, sweetheart.  Anyway, I bet he forgot all about it already.  We’ll just have to give him a good tip!”


“Well on that subject James - please, let me leave the tip.  After all, it was me who was being a tad rude to the gentleman.”


“You - rude?  Never, sweetheart!  You weren’t rude.”


“Thank you, James.  But all the same - I’m still giving the tip!  I insist!”

“I remember you called yourself Peter Humboldt when you first called round after you got back to Gotham.”


“Oh, yes - so I did!”  Oswald chuckled. “Heh.  Well I couldn’t resist calling myself after a penguin. I guess it could just as easily have been George Gentou, or Arthur Emperor….”


“Ha!  Very funny.  I couldn’t help noticing though, you were very charming to Barbara.”


“Well I guess I was - I remember, I said she was more beautiful than I had imagined.”


“You made her giggle.  I knew then what a charmer you could be!  I thought, not only does he come back to Gotham when I told him expressly not to (glad you did of course, by the way) but now he’s even hitting on my girl!”


“Ha!  As if!  You know now that would be ridiculous - and so inaccurate!  Anyway, as you also know, my relationship with her, such as it ever was,  has since gone rapidly downhill!”


“As has mine, Oswald.  You know something - I think Barbara might have guessed deep down that I had feelings for you - even before I did.”


“Really, dear?  Do you think so?  How?”


“Well she asked ‘Who is Oswald Cobblepot?” and I said, “I can’t even begin to answer that!”  I must have given something away - in the tone of my voice maybe, or the look in my eye. Plus, Barbara and I were already kind of on the skids….”


“You said ‘I can't even begin to answer that?”


“Yes, I did!”


“I can understand that, Jim.  We had a strange kind of relationship.  So, Jim - can you begin to answer it now?”


“You know I can.  I had latent feelings back then that I wasn’t keen to admit to, let alone explore.  You know something else - when I was so angry towards you after you visited - when I knocked you around like that - I regret doing that by the way, I shouldn’t have hurt you like that, and I will never, ever hurt you again - well, I was angry about you disobeying me, and I was afraid for Barbara, but it wasn’t just about that.  I also didn’t want to see you anymore because I was afraid of what the nature of my feelings for you might be. Again, I wasn’t aware of it, but I think it was there, simmering below the surface. I felt uneasy in your presence not just because of what you might do - but also because of what I might want to do! Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was angry with you, because I had to fight my feelings for you yet again.  I felt so confused and mixed up. But now - now, I’m sure of what I feel - I’m so clear - and I’m proud to admit to it - because you, Oswald Cobblepot - I know you are the one.”


“Oh, Jim, dearest..that makes me feel  - well, more than a little warm inside.  But, James - my love - um - what about Lee?”


Jim’s face crumpled.  He went pale. “Lee?”


“Well, you thought she was the one too, right?”


Jim swallowed hard.  “Well, yes, Oz, maybe I did -  but she wasn’t the one. Neither she nor Barbara wanted me for me - the person I really am.  So, sweetheart - please don't be jealous of either of them. They wanted things from me that I could never give them.  But you - with you I feel like I can be myself. You know, Oswald - something I didn't share with you before - Lee told me, when she was under the influence of the virus, that her darkness was her love for me.”


“You were her darkness?”


“Yes.  I was her darkness!   As if her love for me was a bad thing, something tainted.  But I never get that feeling back from you.”


“Jim...Jim….you were her darkness?  How could she say that to you, virus or no?   James, honey, listen to me - you are my light!  The beautiful light of my life, James Gordon! You are a bright shining star in my darkness - the best thing that ever happened to me.  You always have been and always will be.”


“Ahhhh Oswald - sweet, beautiful Oswald - ‘cos you are beautiful, a natural beauty, just as you are.  Now can you see why I say you’re the one?”